venuss can u give me your thoughts on desth stranding..i'm gonna start watching a playthrough soon but i want to know ur opinions on it first

(sorry this emoji image is so big btw)

game of all time i love to deliver my silly little cargo and me and my bb are best friends and everyone hates me for it

Mass Effect development insights and highlights from Bioware: Stories and Secrets from 25 Years of Game Development

This is the Mass Effect version of this post.

[In case you can’t read it the subtitle in the bottom left logo above is “Guardians of the Citadel”]

Note: Drug use is mentioned.

Cut for length.

Mass Effect 1

ME began its life in a vision document in fall 2003

Codenamed “SFX”

Conceived of by Casey Hudson and a core team from KotOR. Its genesis was the intention to create an epic sci-fi RPG in an original setting that BioWare owned (so they could have full creative control), and in a setting that was conceived of first and foremost as a video game

Initially players could control any squadmate, but they wanted it to be about Shep and for players to be focused on Shep being a battlefield commander, rather than on switching bodies

By the start of 2004 its story was shaping up. Initially humans landed on Mars in 2250 and discovered evidence of an ancient alien race and a powerful substance, Black Sand, which rapidly advanced tech to the point that FTL travel was possible. (My note: obviously now the Prothean artifacts on Mars & associated mass effect force tech enabled this in the final canon, but I wonder if aspects of the ‘Black Sand’ naming-type & powerful substance stuff was rolled into red sand from final canon) Humans were suddenly capable of travel to multiple star systems and made contact with a multitude of other species. At the start of the first game, these species together with humans had a fragile peace, with focus placed on the political center of the galaxy, a hub known as Star City, later renamed the Citadel

Multiplayer was a vision for the series as far back as 2003. The plan was for ME1, an Xbox exclusive at launch, to take advantage of the platform’s online components. Early designs saw players meeting in one of the central hubs to interact and trade items in their otherwise SP adventures

By 2006 it had the name ME and the story was more specific, with the theme of conflict between organic and synthetic lifeforms. The story’s scope now stretched across 3 games and included scope for full co-op MP

They tried to do MP in every game, discussing it from the get-go, but it always just fell by the wayside. “When you’re trying to build something that is a new IP, on a new platform, with a new engine, you’ve got to really focus on the core elements of the game.” 

The conversation system prototype was made in Jade Empire, and some of ME’s earliest writing was done in an old JE build. At first there was no conversation wheel. Paragon was “Friendly” and Renegade “Hostile”. In the prototype Shep was a silent unnamed Spectre. Many conversations in the prototype about the player’s choice in smuggling a weapon through Noveria made it into the game

In said prototype a merchant referred to themselves as “this one”, though the word hanar never appeared. The PC in it also had the option to end a conversation with “I should go”. In the prototype also, Harkin was voiced by Mark Meer

An early version of the Mako got used as the krogan truck in ME2

Early concepts of the Citadel were drawn in pencil by CH. A piece of concept art of its final design was painted based on a photo of a sculpture near Aswan, Egypt

As with any new IP naming it was a struggle. They put out a call to all staff for ideas, did polls, made a name generator that combined words that they liked in random ways and made pretend logos of ones they liked in Photoshop to see if they could make themselves love the name or find visual potential in it. (Some of these names are in the pic at the top of this post.) CH liked “Unearthed” as it was a reference to Prothean ruins dug up on Mars and humanity’s ascendance going away from Earth. They knew the game would have a central space station featuring prominently so some of the ideas were based on that - “The Citadel”, “The Optigon”, “The Oculon”. “Element” was another one they had in mind due to the rare substance in the game 

CH: “I was a big fan of John Harris’ book Mass, which had epic-scaled sci-fi ideas, so that was a word that came up often. Many of the names came from the idea that the IP featured a fifth fundamental physical force (in addition to the known four of gravitational, electromagnetic, strong nuclear and weak nuclear) so the word ‘effect’ came up pretty often.” Ultimately none of the ideas really felt right. One Monday morning they were going over the names and Greg Zeschuk said he had an idea on the weekend: “Mass Effect!” CH: “I said, ‘I don’t hate it’, which in the naming process is a high compliment. And it stuck!”

CH on Shep’s Prothean vision from the beacon: “It was hard to imagine how we would do this. CG was - and is - really expensive. Instead I wanted to try doing it through photography and video editing. So I went to a local grocery store and bought a few packages of the weirdest looking meat that I could find. Then I set up a little photoshoot in my basement, complete with some electronics parts and some red wine for juicyness.” He used these props to create a video sequence where the photos were rapidly cycled and blurred, along with production paintings, to create the scary vision an organic/machine experiment on the Protheans. These mashups were also used as inspiration for concept artists and level designers who were working on these themes

Tali used to be called Talsi

On the licensing side they often joke that they’re licensing N7 not “Mass Effect” due to N7′s popularity

There was a confidential internal guide to the IP in 2007 to help devs along and summarize/synthesize the vision etc. Some excerpts from it are shown in the book and this is the first time the public have ever seen them

Early versions of Asari had hair

Asari were designed as a nod to classic TV sci-fi (with human actors wearing obvious makeup and prosthetics to play aliens)

The turian design guideline was “we want them to be birds of prey”. They also wanted a range of alien types, some close to human like Asari, while others were to be a lot further away, like turians

BioWare patented the conversation wheel, which was a first for them. CH had been frustrated with reviews of Jade Empire that said that the actioncentric game was too wordy [with its list dialogue]. “I’m like, story is words. [...] What is it about our games that is making people feel like they’re wordy?” Then he thought “In a game you kind of need to feel like you’re continuing to play it. Maybe you should continue feeling like you’re playing it actively into the dialogue.” “[The wheel] kind of gave a new experience with dialogue when you did start to react based on emotion, and that’s ultimately what we’re trying to bring out in our games”

The original krogan concept was based on a bat “with a really wide squidgy face. We just used its face on top of this weird body and it kinda worked”

Geth musculature was based on fiber-optic cables, with flexible plates of armor attached

The vision for the IP was 80s sci-fi inspired space opera

The concept art of Saren lifting Shep by the throat inspired a similar scene in-game. The staging wasn’t planned til designers saw that art

A squadmate with Shepard on the way to meet Ash in an old storyboard was called Carter. Early name of Kaidan or Jenkins?

Bono from U2 was kinda instrumental in bringing us ME lol

Finding the right cover art for ME1 was notably tricky

Matt Rhodes got his start drawing helmets for ME1, including one which would become Shep’s “second face”. He estimates he drew between 250-270 different ones

Some of the sounds in-game were people smashing watermelons with sledgehammers and sticking fists into various goos

The audio team had fun trying to slip the iconic main theme into unexpected places throughout the MET. “We were very aware of how powerful that track was for the fans and it was tempting to overuse it for any moment we wanted to make really emotional”.

The theme was creatively repurposed in ME3: slowed down and reworked as the ambient sound for the SR-2. “If you listen to it for a really long time, just stand in the Normandy and listen, you’ll actually hear the notes change slowly. It doesn’t sound like music, it sounds like a background ambiance, but it’s there.” (My note: Well no wonder the Normandy feels so much like home?? 😭 sneaky..)

Bug report: “Mako Tornado”. There wasn’t enough friction between the tires and the ground, causing testers to lose control of the vehicle and send it spinning into the air like a tornado. “As it turns, the front end comes up, and then it starts spinning and spinning and spinning and spinning faster and faster and faster until it just flies up in the sky” (My note: Sounds like a regular day in the Mako to me)

Cerberus originally had a bigger role in this game. It was cut but they had a whole explorable outpost. “I called it Misery,” says Mac Walters, “It was this planet with a little outpost that said ‘Welcome to Misery’”. Everything on the outpost was shit - dirty worn stuff, no windows, no kitchen, the vehicle bay was open to the elements etc

The Reaper sound is literal garbage. Some audio designers went on a recording trip to a national park. One of them got fixated on a garbage can, “a metal bear-proof receptacle with a heavy lid that creaked horribly when opened”. “It was like, ominous, spooky, tonal and almost musical. I decided to throw a mic into the garbage and record it moving. I didn’t know what it was going to be until later”

They were making lots of noises to record like throwing logs and rocks around. An old couple peered at them through the window of their camper van in the woods and must have called the cops because then the cops showed up, pulled them over and told them to stop. The cops towed their car (the driver’s plates were Cali plates and expired), drove them to Edmonton outskirts and then the audio producer Shauna got a call and had to go pick them up “like three little boys”. “We got a stern talking to”. Once back they were playing around with the garbage sound, editing it etc. Casey heard it and proclaimed “That’s the sound of the Reapers”

Preston Watamaniuk: “There are things I could have done to Mass 1 to make it an infinitely better game with better UIs” and some simple cuts and changes. “But when you’re living with it, it’s very hard to see those things”

BioWare Labs

As social media and smartphone games exploded, BioWare dedicated a small team dedicated to exploring opportunities here - BioWare Labs

Mass Effect: Galaxy used a unique graphic art style and static visual presentation common in visual novels. It has the distinction of being the only iOS game BW have made during their first 25 years

Scrapped ideas were a 3rd person space shooter called Mass Effect: Corsair and 2 DA titles - a strategy game and a top-down dungeon crawler starring young Wynne. (My note: Maybe the corsairs stuff was rolled into Jacob’s backstory in 2, the Alliance Corsairs)

Corsair was a very short-lived project that never got its feet under it. It was a spin-off on Nintendo DS featuring a behind-the-ship perspective and branching dialogue. At one point it had MP. The idea behind it was basically “ME: Freelancer” - fly your ship around, do missions, get credits. It had a limited branching story but was a gameplay-centered experience intended to fill the gap between ME1 and 2. That gap ended up being filled by Galaxy

Galaxy and Corsair’s smaller screen allowed concept artists to use bold colors and a simplistic character design style to help those games stand out from Shep’s story

Nick Thornborrow did some art for Corsair but was worried his art style didn’t fit ME. He moved to DA where he feels his art style fits better

Lots of BioWare VAs and even a lead writer and the VO director are drawn from Edmonton’s local community theater scene, which is vibrant. Think this is how Mark Meer got involved

Mass Effect 2

Player choices carrying over was a first for BW

Dirty Dozen-inspired plot

Its plot is a web of conditionals (see Suicide Mission)

Was more of a shooter than anything BW had made since Shattered Steel

There was 2 camps on the team, those who wanted to push combat and systems forward and redefine the ME experience and those who wanted to make a true sequel, with the same gameplay and systems but a new story. Karin Weekes: “I think it ended up being a good push-pull. It felt like a pretty healthy creative conflict”

“ME2 was a game you could hold up to someone who argues that games aren’t a serious medium and go ‘Oh yeah, then why is Martin Sheen in this?’” Sheen was their first pick for TIM

The idea for TIM came from a mash-up of concepts CH had collected over the years. The name “Illusive” originally came from his pitch for naming DAO’s Eclipse engine, a word inspired by Obi-Wan’s line “It’s not about the mission, Master. It’s something... elsewhere. Elusive”. “I thought, what if we called our next engine 'Elusive', but used an ‘I’, and then it’s like ‘Illusion’. [...] I still really like the word with an ‘I’ and what it conjures”

When ME1 DLC was in production, CH had been watching a lot of CNN, specifically Anderson Cooper. “How is one guy travelling to all these places and never looking tired and always being able to speak with clarity?” CH says it seemed almost superhuman. “What if there was someone who is the absolute maximum of the things you would aspire to be, but also the worst of humanity?” Cooper, though not evil, became an inspiration for TIM down to the gray hair and piercing blue eyes

Inspiration for TIM’s behind-the-scenes role pulling political strings came from Jack Bauer’s brother Graem in 24. Graem “can call up the president and tell him what to do and hang up, because he’s so connected and so influential”. Sheen had played a president and his performance brought gravitas and wisdom to the role. He had quit smoking, but the character smokes. He didn’t want to fake it, but he also didn’t want to smoke, “so he actually asked for a cigarette” to hold so he could stop his words to take drags with natural cadence

Writing was still pushing to write and revise lines hours before VO started. A series of problems like injury and some writers leaving for other opportunities left it so that Karin, Lukas Kristjanson and editor Cookie Everman hand to land the story safely, with PW helping where they could. Lukas: “We took over the writing bug and task list, and I can’t stress enough how much [Karin and Cookie] did to get ME2 out the door. There’s no part of that thing we didn’t touch”. Karin: “That was the most dramatic 2 weeks of my life”

Initial fan reaction when they started promo-ing ME2 was very negative because people didn’t want to know about new chars like Jack and Mordin. “[fans were like] ‘Get them out of here. We want our characters from the first game’. But then when they played them, those became some of the most popular chars [of the series]”

Concept art of Thane has an idea annotation saying “Face can shapeshift?”

At one point when designing Thane concept artists sent multiple variations of him to the team asking them to vote on which was the most attractive

Most of the Normandy crew was written by lead level designer Dusty Everman. Lukas gave him advice in the evenings between bugs

BioWare Montreal made ME2 and 3 cinematics

CC for Shep was based on tools used by char designers to create in-game chars. Under the hood similar tools existed to create aliens

Aliens were much easier to animate than humans. When something is human it’s very difficult to make it look realistic and you can see all the mistakes and everything

Over the holiday period in 2007 CH worked out a diagram on a single piece of paper that would define the entire scope and structure of the game. The diagram is included in the book

Bug report: “I shot a krogan so hard that his textures fell off”. At one point shotgun blast damage was applied to each of the pellets fired, and shot enemies ended up with just the default checkerboard Unreal texture on them after their textures got blown off

Blasto was meant to be 1 step above an Easter egg but his fan popularity prompted them to bring him back in ME3

They rewrote chunks of Jack 2 days before she went to VO. She was the only one they could change because all the other NPCs were recorded. They redesigned her mission by juggling locked NPC lines and changing Shep’s reactions by rewriting text paraphrases to change the context of the already-recorded VO

Lukas snuck obscure nods ito ME2′s distress calls. In the general distress call for the Hugo Gernsback, there’s BW’s initial’s and Edmonton’s phone number backwards. In a fault in a beacon protocol there’s the initials and backward phone number from Tommy Tutone’s “Jenny”. In 2 other general distress calls there’s initials and numbers from Glenn Miller Orchestra’s “Pennsylvania 6-5000″ and initials and numbers from Geddy Lee and Rush’s “2112″ respectively 

Mass Effect 3

“The end of an era marks the beginning of another”

ME3 “marked the end of Shep’s story”

Saying bye to Shep was as difficult for devs as it was for players

JHale’s final VO session included Anderson’s death and romanced Garrus’ goodbye. “We were in the session and we both just started crying”, Caroline says. “I couldn’t come on the line to give her notes because I was crying, and she was crying. And so there was just this minute-long pause of like, nothing, nothing, nothing - just silence through the airwaves. And then I came on and just told her that I was crying and she said ‘I’m crying!’” They talked about these anecdotes also here on the N7 Day reunion panel

The Microsoft Kinect voice support required devs to teach Kinect hundreds of commands in a variety of accents across multiple languages. The result was useful but made for some awkward moments. Numerous players accidentally said “geth” or “quarian” while making a particular decision and accidentally killed Tali

MP chars were voiced by cops and military people

The helmet on one of the MP chars was originally designed for cancelled project Revolver

The payload device at the end needed to attach to the Citadel while essentially serving as a giant trigger. “It ended up becoming quite the engineering feet just to visualize how this thing would move and connect to the Citadel”

Concept artists explored creating an anti-team, where Kai Leng was almost an anti-Shepard essentially, with an elite squad to counteract your team. This idea never went beyond concept phase

ME3 Special Edition was released on Nintendo Wii U exclusively. This exclusive version of the game includes Genesis 2 (a sequel to the original Genesis comic) and unique gameplay features that took advantage of the touchscreen GamePad. For years Sonic Chronicles: Dark Brotherhood had had the honor of being BW’s only game made for a Nintendo console

FemShep regrettably didn’t feature in major ME marketing til ME3. Later releases like DAI, MEA and Anthem have taken increasing care not to gender their protagonists in cover art

To capture combat sounds they took a trip to CFB Wainwright, a military base southeast of Edmonton. They got a big tour of it and were allowed to record anything they could find. The tour ended with them getting to drive and shoot tanks (real shells). The force of doing that sent waves through Joel Green, he felt his whole chest compress when it went off; the perfect sound for the Black Widow! After the trip the soldiers let him keep the shell he fired and it’s been passed on like a torch to various devs since

Kakliosaurs began life as a joke in the writers’ room after John Dombrow placed a Grunt figure on a t-rex toy he had on his desk. Lore was brainstormed to justify the mash-up before someone asked, “Why don’t we put this in the game?” They loved it so much Karin had custom coffee mugs made

Bug report: For a while Tali’s final romance scene would fire when she was supposed to be dead

“Balancing combat: how designers in ME3 entered an ‘arms race’” - the solution to players feeling OP vs players feeling frustrated by really strong enemies is to find a good middle ground, but for designers Corey Gaspur and Brenon Holmes, it was war. Brenon designed enemies, Corey designed guns. Corey “was obsessed with bigger, heavier guns. We had this sort of informal competition where he’d make this crazy overturned gun that would just murder all the enemies, and then I tuned some stuff up to compensate”

Brenon had to invent new ways to “stop Corey” and this led to the Phantoms. Corey had in turn designed consumable rockets that could wipe out entire waves of enemies. He must’ve figured this would make short work of Brenon’s space ninjas, but Brenon had other plans: “I had just added the ability for her to cut rockets [when Corey was playing MP and he was watching]. She cut the rocket in half... Corey just turns and looks at me and is like: ‘Really dude? I just shot a rocket at this Phantom and she’s fine? Not even damaged? Zero damage?’” 

This friendly rivalry helped elevate ME3′s gameplay. Corey had a knack for making a gun feel so good to fire it had his fellow designers scrambling to keep up. It was his version of balancing. Before Corey sadly passed away he mentored Boldwin Li in all things weapon design and the arms race continued

Corey designed the Arc Pistol. It was causing problems for enemies because it was too powerful. It seemed hell bent on staying that way, Boldwin would tune down all its stats and it was still doing 3x the damage it should have been doing. “I was like ‘What the hell?’, and then I looked closer. It secretly fired 3 bullets for every pull of the trigger! Corey, you sneaky jerk”

The day it launched there were midnight launch parties across North America including one near the BW building. Numerous devs sat at long tables greeting fans and signing autographs as the fans picked up preorders. When midnight struck the line was long enough that it took several hours for some fans to get their game. One particular fan is remembered: “It was 3am. Some guy drove up from Calgary with his friends. He was like one of the last people in line. I think he was sort of tired-drunk. He threw himself across the tables, pulled up his shirt and shouted ‘Guys, sign my abs!’ And like I did, because he waited so long. It felt impolite not to. So I hope he enjoyed his copy of ME3″

For designing Protheans concept artists had free reign to design something that read as ancient

Before the concept art team had the story of the game to work toward, they explored wild ideas of their own including an image of the crew stealing back the Normandy to go after the Reapers

Jen Cheverie was testing scenes and was initially excited to be testing Mordin scenes, til she saw she was testing the Renegade version of his death. “This is even before like all of the audio and everything was in, so you didn’t even have the sad music. I remember sitting at my desk and my hands just went to my face when I saw that the gun Shep pulls on Mordin is the gun he gives Shep in ME2. I burst into tears and was crying for the rest of the day. People are waving to me as they walk by and I’m like, ‘It’s ok, I’m just killing my best friend’” 

There’s a segment called “Shepard’s story ends”. Casey on the ending: “There’s a whole bunch of things that come together to make it incredibly tense and emotional for players. I think the biggest one was the sense of finality, that whatever it was that happened in that very last moment... was it.” 

Wrapping up the story was a massive feat. In a way all of ME3 is an ending. Its final moments were the players’ last with a char they’d been with all the way from Eden Prime

“And while the critical reception of the game was extremely positive, many fans were unsatisfied with the ending, which became one of the most controversial in the history of games.” CH: “We were, on one hand, at the end of a marathon trying to finish the game and the series. But as devs we also knew that there would be more. We knew that we would continue to tell the story. In retrospect, we didn’t fully appreciate the tremendous sense of finality that it would have for people”. He envisioned an ending that posed new questions, something in the tradition of high sci-fi that left players dreaming about what that particular galaxy’s future could hold. “Frankly, there’s a lot more that we could have and should have done to honor the work players put in, to give them a stronger sense of reward and closure”

AAA games are massive undertakings with a million moving parts. Somehow they come together but even the best-planned projects don’t turn out quite like devs hope. From start to end video game production is a series of compromises. It’s rare if not impossible for devs to ship a game they’re entirely happy with. “I think that people imagine that when you finish a game, it’s exactly the way you wanted it to be. But whether people end up loving or hating the final result, we work hard to finish it the best we can, knowing that there’s a lot we would have wanted to do better. I think that’s true of any creative work”

As the dust settled after the initial reaction to the ending and later its epilogue, meant to show the wide-reaching ripple effects of Shep’s final choice, “players emerged mostly asking for one thing”. CH: “Now, most of what we hear, after both ME3 and MEA, is ‘Hey, just go make more Mass Effect’. And that to me is the most important thing. Knowing that players want to return to the ME universe is what inspires us to press on and imagine what comes next”

Mass Effect: Andromeda

By creating a new ME in a new galaxy the team was challenged to put their own visual stamp on the game while keeping it true to the franchise

Being the first ME game on a new gen of consoles meant for more detail

“Massive transport ships called arks populated with salarians, turians, humans, asari and quarians” made the risky jump to the Cluster

MEA was the first time BW had truly codeveloped across 3 studios: Edmonton, Montreal and Austin. The bulk of the work especially early on was done in Montreal, which was composed of a handful of Edmonton expats and heaps of experienced devs who joined from elsewhere specifically to bring a new ME experience to life. Series vets in Edmonton then came on to contribute writing, cinematics, design and QA, along with leadership from creative director Mac Walters and the core Production team. Austin writers and level designers also joined the fray

“It took a new team to take ME beyond the Milky Way”

Mac: “A lot of people in Montreal joined BW as fans of the franchise, so they just had this passion, and it felt like it was more like the days of Jade Empire, where a smaller younger team gets to do something for the first time. Even though it wasn’t necessarily a new IP for me, it felt fresh and new because of that. The team was just super excited to be working on it”

Early plans had the player exploring hundreds of worlds, procedurally generated, allowing for a nearly infinite variety of experiences. But as development wore on, it became clear that the game narrative required more specific, hand-touched level design on each world to keep the story focused and the experience engaging. “The plan was to give players numerous uncharted worlds to explore. Designers worked hard to come up with procedural elements that would make such planets special. Eventually the team made the difficult decision to abandon procedural planets in favor of more memorable hand-touched alien worlds, each with a specific story to tell”

One challenge was defining what ME meant without Shep. Care was given to include many of the MET’s key species. “Ryder recruited turian, asari, krogan and salarian followers”. Like Shep Ryder represents humanity’s hope for a peaceful coexistence among aliens who had long operated without human contact

Beginning with MEA the team decided that with few exceptions vehicles in ME have 6 wheels. Early Nomad concepts were bulkier. Later ones focused on its ability to move over its ability to protect itself from hostile fire, underlining the themes of exploration

German concept designer and auto-motive futurist Daniel Simon was contracted to create the Nomad and Tempest. The Tempest’s final design took inspo from the Concorde 

Concepts for angaran fighter ships have the following notes: “Two doors swing open, wings rotate down to function as landing struts, the landing struts split open. It has a spinning turbine engine 

Despite being set a galaxy away and some 600 years after Mordin’s death, there was a time when he had a cameo. It wasn’t cut due to running out of time however, it was cut due to drug references. John Dombrow explains: “One day I had to write a small quest for Kadara. I thought it’d be amusing if these 2 guys living way out on the fringes in a shack were growing plants for uh, medicinal purposes, and needed Ryder’s help with it. It occurred to me, wouldn’t it be amusing if Ryder had the option of actually trying ‘the medicine’ to see what would happen? And I thought, what if it turned into some hallucination that somehow involved SAM - like maybe SAM would sing? But why? How could I motivate that? Then it hit me. Who else in the ME game sings unexpectedly? MORDIN. As a nod to him I wrote SAM singing Modern Major-General. It got even better when our cine designer John Ebenger wanted to take it even further. Bless him, he came in on a Saturday to do a special hallucination showing Mordin himself. It was great. Til the fateful day we were told MEA had already been submitted to the ratings board. That’s when you declare things like drug references in your game. Mordin fell under that category which meant it was a no-go. We were too late”

Ryder’s white AI armor contrasts Shep’s iconic dark armor (intentional design)

Concept art for Ryder involved experiments with cloth (cloaks, ponchos, capes - “Pull here to release cloak”) and asymmetrical design elements

For alien design, there’s a few exceptions but humanoid figures are the ME standard and this persisted into MEA

Kett and angara concepts explored striking lines and textures 

– From Bioware: Stories and Secrets from 25 Years of Game Development

Needed to get this campaign wrap-up rant off my chest...

This is the specific part that irked me:

MATT: "While he never voiced this in game, Caleb's feelings for Jester have been an important part of his journey. Did he ever come close to confessing? How was playing such a long lasting, one-sided love after our last campaign's bittersweet ending for a Vax and Kiki?"

LIAM: I was never going to do romance of any kind, one-sided or otherwise in this campaign, because I felt like we really explored that pretty heavily campaign one. I think you'll remember Jester drove Caleb nuts at the beginning of the campaign, and so it was nothing that I ever expected at all. And then when they were in, was it Rexxentrum wherever the dance hall was. And I alluded to this earlier, dancing was never anything that I imagined for Caleb, but it was just like, and you were asking him to dance, Jester was asking him to dance. I was like, "Oh, this could be an interesting way to like sort of seed my story, that we're not really around yet." And there was something about, not the dancing, but the way that Jester treated him kindly after the fact like his response was to be like, "I'm going to go fucking vomit in a street, and just be by myself," and she wouldn't let it happen. And that was just like this first little moment where someone was like-- Everyone in the Nein-- I want to answer another question while I'm answering this. I wonder if we had gone that different direction that we talked about earlier where we didn't go crime, and we had gone into Rexxentrum earlier, and if Caleb had started interfacing with his past earlier, I think he would have had a gnarlier, more severe trajectory in this campaign. If he had touched his past sooner, it would have changed what he was, but he spent way too much with the Nein, for when we finally did catch up to them, it was too late, that he'd already been healed enough by the Nein, it didn't matter. And everyone in the Nein had an effect on Caleb, they all had their love like in different ways; Yasha, he could relate to. Caduceus was like a guru that confused but inspired. Fjord, who Caleb thought was real hot at the beginning of the campaign, was a great leader and, like, just I don't know, I feel like he was his closest friend, outside of Nott, early in the campaign. Beau brought tough love. Veth was this ultimate support no matter what happened. But what started to happen with Jester was that she was treating Caleb like the person-- She was treating him as if he was the person he should have been. Like none of it had happened. And he became like-- It just got in him, but he would have never wanted to saddle her with all his shit. And the difference, like-- There was also a point in the campaign where I could see, in Yasha's absence, Beauregard warming up to her, and I already quietly been thinking and going like, "Well, I'll just have this little thing that maybe fans will see," and some did early on, like it was silent. It was all silent. And then I was like, "Well, Travis is never going to do it." Oh, Travis just came online, so the entire side of the table quietly like, "Oh," at Jester for a while. But Caleb knew that Beau and Fjord would've been far better for her, because they would have put aside anything for Jester and made her their number one. And Caleb knew that, as much as she like changed him and helped him in a very specific way, and and he quietly fell in love with her and like a Jane Austen, I'm never going to say it. That he would never have set aside the things that he was trying to do. He would never have set aside trying to either get back to his parents and fix that. He would never set aside trying to undo the Cerberus Assembly if he were strong enough, so, like, that was too all-consuming, and so he would never wanted to saddle her with it, so it was always going to stay inside. And there were multiple times in the campaign where Jester teasingly needled Caleb, and I was terrified that you would say the word "Insight check," multiple times.

LAURA: I think I did it once.

LIAM: Well, you must have rolled really low when you did because I did my best to like pull faces at you, and poo poo it, and do something silly to dodge out of those situations.

LAURA: Are you secretly in love with me?

LIAM: And yeah, you said that, and I went like (blows raspberries) that's fucking ridiculous with my face, and we moved on. (laughter)

LAURA: It's so funny when you joke about the whole table being in love with Jester because Jester had, like, no concept of it at all. Her whole upbringing was everybody being in love with her mother, and her whole, and she knew she's so different from Marion, in her appearance, and the way she presents herself that-- To her, that is what people want, that's what everybody would be in love with. And so there was never-- She would never have thought in a million years that Beau would have been interested, or that Caleb would have been interested, or that Fjord would have been interested. She tried to be Marion and when she was coming on to him in the early campaign, and obviously, it did not work. So she was like, "Okay, then-- Nobody's-- That's not going to happen for me." So it just like turned off in her brain, like nobody will.

TRAVIS: There was a moment where that stopped, too, because like you doing the thing that you thought your mom did and that worked, you know, Fjord's like, "I've never been flirted with before, I don't know what this is. Stop doing it." All that behavior stopped, and you like let the happy Jester fall away. Like, I think it was on the sea, right, like with the jellyfish scene. And then it all happened.

MARISHA: That's when you started crying. There was a few times where there was these moments of Jester smiling, but tears were streaming down her face.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

MARISHA: Trying to be the happiest person in the room. And then, yeah. I don't know. Jester always had this, but I think why Jester is so enigmatic, and so easy fall in love with is because she is the purest person in the room, so that it invites this kind of--

LIAM: Which doesn't even mean innocent, it just means the purest person--

MARISHA: Pure, yeah. It's just very endearing and it got in the way-- and this is almost going to sound condescending-- but almost in the way that a child is where if a little girl runs up to you, and they're like, "Look at this card, I think I want to cover the whole thing in glitter." You kind of have no choice, but to be like, "Yeah, that's a great idea."

LAURA: Yeah.

MARISHA: Cover the whole thing, and like, even if it's bad. She felt like almost like the perfect exercise for "Yes, and-ing." Like, the concept of "Yes, and-ing," because half of them were terrible ideas, but you were like, "Yeah, brilliant."

LAURA: Also, I feel that people are drawn to somebody who sees the best in them, right? You're drawn to somebody that loves you, and she just has an unconditional love for like everybody--

LIAM: She changes everyone she meets, including a hag in a hut.

MARISHA: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Yes.

Laura’s answer here is, for the most part, true. Jester was always pretty oblivious to people being into her. That was a pretty clear character trait. However, that still doesn't explain her roleplaying choices after Beau’s confession. And I wish someone was able to ask her about that and get a direct answer. Why was there a behavior shift? Was it just Laura trolling and teasing Marisha about it, or was Laura actually trying to force Beau to confess directly?

There was a pretty condescending post about this that I found in the discourse tag that said: I know it won't happen cause people never cared about what she says anyway, but Laura confirming again that Jester never knew about Caleb and Beau's feelings for her should be enough to stop the dumb takes like "bj was happening before the hiatus but then they decided to change it" or "Jester was falling in love with Caleb and she changed it" or whatever.

‘Laura confirming again’ Again? What other time has she said this?

‘Jester never knew about Caleb and Beau’s feelings’ Laura said that ‘She would never have thought in a million years that they would be interested’ and included Fjord in that section too, so whatever point this person’s trying to make is moot.

Countering that, I want to say, that nothing in Laura’s answer seemed to give the impression that Jester would have turned down Beau (or, hate to say it, even Caleb) had they actually confessed to her. There’s nothing in her answer to imply that Jester could not have reciprocated those feelings had she known. Nowhere did I get the implication that Jester was only ever interested in men and that Fjord was the only viable choice. (Laura still has not addressed Jester’s sexuality. FJ shippers love to ignore that, and still swear up and down that she’s straight.)

Now when Marisha piped in, she didn’t even focus on Beau’s feelings, and the depth of what she was feeling at the time. Instead, she’s wrote them off. Again. Intentionally minimizing and essentially doubling down on what was said in ep108. That it’s just so easy for anyone to fall for Jester, even going as far as calling her ‘pure’. Basically infantilizing her, by comparing her behavior to that of a child which yes, Marisha, does sound condescending. (You can add that to the list of ‘sparkles’ ‘confetti’ and ‘shiny’.) And that’s it. That’s the extent to which she talks about it.

Also, the fact that the Beaujester stuff was only brought up (very briefly and casually), as a sort of ‘b’ topic to WJ. Liam got to go off on this whole extremely long-winded reminiscing answer because he got a direct question about it. It’s like, “And none for Beaujester!” Once again, Caleb’s feelings being given more weight than Beau’s ever were. 

So, another kick in the teeth. Not so much from Laura. But from Marisha. The person who MADE THE CHOICE to inject Beau developing feelings for Jester into the canon narrative. The way Marisha talks about it now, it’s just a complete mind fuck as to why she made the decision to have Beau confess at all. Why even open that door? Even if she felt, at the time, that Beau would feel this way, she could’ve just kept it to herself. And not made waves about it. And not doubled down on it the following week. And not had continued for at least THREE MONTHS after that to roleplay Beau STILL having obvious feelings for Jester. I mean, come the fuck on.

Look at ep93 with the Hag. When Jester was telling the group that she gave the Hag something she had never given anyone before. Beau frowned and said, “Did you kiss her?” Beau had it so bad she got jealous of the Hag. Jealous of a fucking monster. Then ep94. Beau wanted to climb a tree to get a better look at their surroundings. Out of the blue, Jester smacked Beau’s ass to give her Guidance. She shot up the tree like a rocket and Jester was impressed. Marisha had to make it a point to say, “She thinks it’s the Traveler. It’s just ‘cause Jester smacked my ass though. I’m just very invigorated by THAT.” And of course ep99, with the sunburn compliment.

Marisha was definitely keeping this thing going, all the way up until the hiatus.

So why the weird answers? Why the vagueness? Why does she seem so insistent on driving home to the viewers that Beau’s feelings were/are no big deal. Does she think that talking about Beau’s feelings to the fullest and reminiscing (like Liam did) on a few of their moments would be some sort of insult to BY?

I will never stop being baffled.

I posted 7,745 times in 2021

925 posts created (12%)

6820 posts reblogged (88%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 7.4 posts.

I added 1,696 tags in 2021

#asks - 248 posts

#ask - 236 posts

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#thorin - 157 posts

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#cats - 110 posts

#legolas - 108 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#fairies / french / mangoes / photographs / mythology / dawn / peanut butter / moon / both / action / paris / diamonds / none sis / libraries

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

The Fellowship As People In An Online Class:

Gandalf:

A tired Boomer teacher who just needs to sleep and not deal with the daily trials of human technology.

“Mr. Gandalf, you’re on mute.”

“Can you see my screen now?” “No.” “What about now?” *sigh*

“... Umm... Mr. Gandalf?” “*exasperated sigh* Yes, Mr. Took?” “Why aren’t you wearing any pants?” “WHA-?”

Boromir:

Only one sticking to the program.

Taking notes and asking questions and is passing all classes with an A+++.

Watch out everyone, he’s making his dad proud.

If Aragorn doesn’t back down, then he’d prob be valedictorian. 

Should prob calm down though, and take things a little less seriously.

Aragorn:

Does not care about being valedictorian. Just wants to ride into the sunset with his horsy because he’s the only one who understands him.

His horsy’s name is Brego. People just think he’s weird and likes tomato sauce a lot.

You wouldn't think it, but he’s always paying attention in class. 

Legolas:

Is staring at himself in the camera (i mean with a face like that, who wouldn’t be?)

Is barely paying attention in class and just bobbing his head to the music in his headphones.

What’s the point in paying attention when you can just go and teach yourself the lesson off of google later?

Most probably just has a video recording of himself in front of the web cam and is sleeping through his classes.

Gimli:

Is here for a good time.

Blowing up the group chat thinking he’s funny 

Mic is always turned on.

“FILI! KILI! Stop making elephant noises! Everyone can hear you!”

Sam:

Wearing his school uniform. No other explanation needed.

Frodo:

Is constantly having bad wifi.

See the full post

238 notes • Posted 2021-02-22 17:10:10 GMT

#4

Wearing desi clothes is all fun and games until you're struggling to get your arm in a sleeve and suddenly you hear the ominous rip sound

340 notes • Posted 2021-09-09 01:00:25 GMT

#3

Hear ye! Hear ye!

You are hereby invited to a royal ball at the palace by command of the King and Queen. At this ball, your position in the royal court will be determined as well as a *deep* insight into your personality. (tw: mention of "burning" in question eight)

QUIZ

371 notes • Posted 2021-06-15 15:03:59 GMT

#2

Hey guys new tag game! Take the book closest to you and turn to page 200. The first sentence or phrase predicts your future. Write the title of the book you’re getting it from and the quote! 

Lies My Teacher Told Me (Young Reader’s Edition) by James W. Leowen: “Not Always the Good Guy.”

e X c U s E  m E ? ?

Tagging: @elvish-sky @fizzyxcustard @letsstaywithstraykids @eowynsprincess @kibleedibleedoo @bitter-sweet-farmgirl  

738 notes • Posted 2021-03-14 14:46:14 GMT

#1

You guys I just found the cutest picture

1357 notes • Posted 2021-03-26 14:07:43 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

The Red Herb’s Top 10 Games of 2020

Hey, fuck 2020. You might notice that many of the “Best Of” lists you read this year and last can’t help but mention how terrible 2020 was. That’s because every day was like hitting a new, splinter riddled branch on our 365 day plummet off a shit-coated tree. The year brought with it a viral pandemic that served as a pressure cooker for the societal and systemic issues boiling beneath the surface of our every day life. And we��re not out of it. 

At least one positive holds true of 2020: the games were pretty darn good. One has to wonder, though, if 2020 was the last year of what can be called “normalcy” for the video game industry. Now that the remainder of titles brewed in pre-Covid times are out in the wild, what will the future of gaming look like as studios shift to work-from-home and distribution models migrate to digital as the primary bread winner? What will games look like going forward?

I have no fucking clue. We’ll get there when we get there. But looking back, I’m glad to have had such solid distractions from the stress and strife. If 2020 is any indicator for the industry going forward, then my takeaway is that games will continue to grow in prominence because of their ability to help us cope and, more importantly, stay connected.

Anyway, here’s video games:

10. MARVEL’S AVENGERS

Oh, Marvel’s Avengers. I know you expected to be on more prestigious Top 10 lists than mine. Truthfully, I debated whether or not you should be here. But I had to search my soul (stone) on this one. Really assemble my feelings. Tony Stark my thoughts (?). Here’s the short of it: Marvel’s Avengers has a great story campaign with a surprising amount of emotional weight thanks largely to Kamala Khan’s quest to reassemble the heroes of her youth. Once the final cutscene ends, though, players were expected to take their play box of Marvel heroes, jump online, and duke it out against hordes of villains for the privilege of precious loot and level gains. It would be impossible to get bored because Crystal Dynamics was going to continually Bifrost in new quests, cosmetics, and heroes -- for free!

Except, after fans blasted through the campaign (took me a solid weekend), they found a multiplayer mode filled with repetitive fights against non-descript A.I.M Bots, a handful of dull, un-Marvelous environments (the PNW?! In a video game?! Wowwee!), and a grind for gear that became useless minutes after it was equipped. Oh, and bugs. Tons of bugs. It must be hard for A.I.M. to take earth’s mightiest heroes seriously when they’re falling through the fucking earth every other mission.

So why the Kevin Accolade™? Of all the mistakes and underbaked ideas, Crystal Dynamics got the most important thing right: they made me feel like I was a part of the Avengers. Cutting through the sky as Iron Man; dive bombing, fists-first as the Hulk; firing gadgets at cronies as Black Widow; cracking a row of skulls with Cap’s shield… Avengers is a brawler on super soldier serum.

The combat is crunchy and addictive, and surprisingly deep once you unlock your character’s full suite of skills and buffs. The gear matters little. But choosing a loadout that works for you -- like ensuring enemy takedowns grant you a health orb every time or turning area clearing attacks to focused beams of hurt -- does matter. When it comes to games with disastrous launches, Avengers is the most deserving of a triumphant comeback story because, if you clear the wreckage, I think there’s a solid game here. If I was able to spend hours playing it in its roughshod state, I can see myself digging in for the long-term once it’s polished up and given a healthy dose of content. You know...if Square Enix doesn’t outright abandon it.

9. STREETS OF RAGE 4

Here’s a fact about me: I love beat ‘em ups. From Final Fight to X-Men to The Simpsons, I prioritized my quarters for the beat ‘em up machines (and House of the Dead simply because House of the Dead fuckin’ owns). Unfortunately, Streets of Rage wasn’t in arcades, and I didn’t own a Genesis growing up, so I didn’t get around to the series until Sega re-released as part of a collection. Though my history with the 29 year old brawler is shorter than some, the basics stand out out right away: it’s an awesome side-scrolling brawler filled with zany character designs and high octane boss fights.

SoR4 nails that simple spirit while adding an electric soundtrack, buttery smooth animations, and an art style that looks like a comic book in motion. You can button-mash your way through the game or master your timing to combo stun the shit out of bad guys. Same screen co-op is a requisite for the beat ‘em up genre but I have to call it out nonetheless given that it's next to obsolete these days. The story campaign is, of course, finite but a stream of unlockables and a Boss Rush Mode pad out the package nicely.

I really don’t have to go on and on. I’m on board with any game that captures the arcadey high of classic beat ‘em ups, and Streets of Rage 4 does it with flare.

8. RESIDENT EVIL 3 REMAKE

Resident Evil 2’s remake was my game of the year in 2019. It’s a pitch perfect revision that captures the pulse-pounding fear of the original while beautifully updating its graphics and gameplay for modern audiences. The most striking aspect of RE2’s remake is how it expands and reconfigures the classic game’s environments and set pieces. Capcom managed to recontextualize, and even improve on, the original’s design while staying faithful to its tone and atmosphere.

Resident Evil 3’s remake is less successful in modifying and improving on its source material. If the game feels like it was handled by a different team than RE2R, your gamer hands have good eyes (roll with it). It was developed by a separate internal team (three different teams, in fact), but that’s actually one of many choices mirroring its 1999 forebear. Just like the original, RE3R is a tighter (i.e. shorter) experience that launched less than a year after its predecessor. And just like the original, the game skirts away from survival horror in favor of action horror.

Unlike last year’s remake, however, RE3R paints in broad strokes with the original material much in the same way that 2004’s Dawn of the Dead remake shared a vague resemblance with Romero’s ‘79 classic. Capcom at least nails down what matters: you play as Jill Valentine, beaten and discredited after the Arklay Mountains incident, during her last escape from the zombie besieged Raccoon City. Her exit is complicated by Nemesis, a humanoid missile that relentlessly pursues her from minute two of the game. Her only chance of making it out alive is by teaming up with a gaggle of Umbrella dispatched mercenaries, including an overly handsome fellow named Carlos Oliveras that you control for a spell. But fans struggled to get over what Capcom didn’t remake. Several enemies, boss fights, and a “divergent path” mechanic that had you choose how best to escape the Nemesis in a pinch were omitted from the remake. Even an entire section set in a clock tower was cut. But, let’s be honest, the biggest omission is a secret ending where Barry Burton saves the day using only his beard. For real, YouTube that shit.

If you look at what the remake does instead of what it doesn’t, you’ll find a lightning paced action game highlighted by tense, one-on-one fights against the constantly mutating Nemesis. The tyrant’s grotesque transformations evoke the mind-rending, gut turning creature designs found in John Carpenter's The Thing. It’s sad that Nemesis doesn’t pursue you through the levels as diligently as he did in the original, or as Mr. X had in last year’s remake, but these “arena fights” end up being harrowing and fun, culminating in a memorable final encounter. The remake also treats us to the best incarnation of Jill to date. She’s a cynical badass, exasperated at how Umbrella upended her life, and can take a plunge off of a building yet still muster enough energy to call Nemesis a bitch. RE3R also shines thanks to its snappy combat, including a contextual dodge that feels rewarding to pull off, less bullet-sponge enemies than RE2, and an assortment of weapons to get you through Jill’s Very Bad Night(s). It makes for a necessary, though shorter, companion to last year’s stellar remake.

7. HADES

I’m experiencing a new type of shame including a title that I haven’t beaten on my Top 10 list, but I can assure you that I’ve dumped hours into its addictive death loop. It’s probably because of my resistance to looking up any tips, but given the skill-check nature of the difficult boss fights, I’m almost afraid the top shelf advice will amount to “die less, idiot.”

My failings aside, Hades is brilliant. It’s the perfect merger of gameplay and storytelling. You play as Zagreus, son of Hades, and your entire goal is to escape your father’s underworld domain. You pick from a selection of weapons, like a huge broadsword or spear, and attempt your “run,” seeing how far you can make it before an undead denizen cuts you down. It’s familiar roguelike territory, but where Supergiant separates their game from the pack is in the unique feeling of constant progression, even as you fail. With each run, not only is Zagreus earning a currency (gems or keys) that unlock new skills that make the next go a little easier, you’re also consistently treated to new lore. The fallen gods and heroes that line your father’s hall greet you after each death and provide a new insight into their world. The writing is bouncy and hilarious, the voice acting ethereal and alluring, and the character designs could make a lake thirsty.

Supergiant’s stylistic leanings are at their peak here. They’ve managed the impossible feat of making failure feel like advancement. Sure, it totally fucks up other roguelikes for me, but that’s okay. None of those games have Meg.

6. DEMON’S SOULS

Whereas Capcom takes liberties with their remakes, Bluepoint took the Gus Van Sant approach and made a 1:1 recreation of the 2009 title that launched the “Soulslike” genre. The dividing difference is a 2020 facelift brought to us by way of the PlayStation 5’s next-gen horsepower. There’s been online arguments (surprise) regarding the loss of Fromsoftware’s visual aesthetic in translating the PS3 original in order to achieve a newfound photorealism. It’s true, some beasties lose their surreal weirdness -- a consequence of revisiting designs without the worry of graphical or time constraints -- but the game’s world is still engrossing, morbid, and bleakly gorgeous.

That’s not to say all Bluepoint did was overhaul the graphics and shove this remake out the door. No, their improvements are nuanced, under-the-hood changes that gently push the genre into the next-generation. For one, the loading times are incredible. You could hop between all five archstones in under a minute if you wanted. And this game is a best DualSense controller showcase outside of Astro’s Playroom. You can feel a demonstrable difference between hitting your sword against a wall compared to connecting it with an attacking creature. Likewise, the controller rumbles menacingly as to let you know enemies are stomping across a catwalk above you. “Better rumbles” was not on my wish list of next-gen features, but the tactile feedback goes great lengths to make you feel like you’re there.

Granted, sticking so closely to the original means its pratfalls are also carried over to the next-gen. The trek between bonfire checkpoints is an eternity compared to the game’s successors, and Fromsoftware hadn’t quite mastered the sword ballet of boss fights prevalent in Dark Souls. Instead, a handful of bosses feel more like set pieces where you’re searching for the “trick” to end it versus having to learn attack patterns and counters. Still, it’s easy to see the design blueprint that bore a whole new genre. From having to memorize enemy placements to hunting down the world’s arcane secrets in the hopes of finding a new item that pushes the odds in your favor. Bluepoint’s quality of life improvements only make it kinder (not easier) to plunge into the game, obsess over its idiosyncrasies, and begin to master every inch of it. That is until you roll into New Game+ and the game shoves a Moonlight Greatsword up your ass.

5. YAKUZA: LIKE A DRAGON

Here’s a fact about me I’m sure you don’t know: I love beat ‘em ups. Streets of Rage 4 had an easy time making it on this list because it can be classified as both a “beat ‘em up” and “good.” Here’s another fact about me: I’m not the biggest fan of JRPGs. I’m told this is not because of any personal preferences I harbor, but rather due to a distinct lack of culture. I’ve made peace with that. At least my uncultured ways are distinctive.

But my disinterest in JRPGs is notable here because it illustrates how very good Like A Dragon is. Transitioning the Yakuza series from a reactive brawler (entrenched in an open-world SIM) to a full-blown turned-based RPG was risky -- especially 8 entries into the mainline series -- but it pays off explosively for Like A Dragon. Not only does the goofiness, melodrama, and kinetic energy translate to an RPG -- it’s improved by it. Beyond a new protagonist -- the instantly likable and infinitely affable Ichiban Kasuga -- we’re finally treated to an ensemble cast that travels with you, interacts with you, and grows with you. Their independent stories weave into Ichi’s wonderfully and end up mattering just as much as his.

The combat doesn’t lose any of its punch now that you’re taking turns. In fact, it feels wilder than ever and still demands situational awareness as your enemies shift around the environment, forcing you to quickly pick which move will do the most damage and turn the fight in your favor. RGG purposefully made Ichi obsessed with Dragon Quest (yes, specifically Dragon Quest) as an excuse to go ham and morph enemies into outlandish fiends that would populate Ichi’s favorite series. It’s a fun meta that never loses its charm.

This is the best first step into a new genre I’ve ever seen an established franchise make and I hope like hell they keep with it for future outings -- and that Ichi returns to keep playing hero. There’s plenty of callbacks and treats for longtime fans, but RGG did a masterful job rolling out the virtual carpet for a whole new generation of Yakuza fanatics.

4. GHOST OF TSUSHIMA

Sucker Punch’s dive into 13th century Japan doesn’t redefine the open-world genre. But like Horizon: Zero Dawn before it, Ghost of Tsushima takes familiar components of the genre and uses them exceptionally well, creating an airtight experience that can’t help but stand out. I can tell Sucker Punch mused on games like Assassin’s Creed and Breath of the Wild, tried to figure out what makes those games tick, and then brought their own spin to those concepts. You can feel it in their obsession to make traversal through the environment as unobtrusive as possible, letting the wind literally guide you to your destinations instead of forcing the player to glue their eyes to a mini-map. You can feel it in how seamless it is to scale a rooftop before silently dropping on a patrol, blade first. You can feel it in the smoothness behind the combat as your sword clashes against the enemy’s. Every discrete part is fine-tuned yet perfectly complements the whole. The game is silk in your hands. 

The mainline story can be humdrum, though. It mirrors the beats of a superhero origin story, which isn’t surprising when you account for the three Infamous titles and satellite spinoffs under Sucker Punch’s belt. But Jin Sakai’s personal journey outshines the cookie-cutter plot. His gradual turn from the strict samurai code to a morally ambiguous vigilante lifestyle (to becoming, eventually, a myth) is a fascinating exploration in shifting worldviews. This is bolstered by the well-written side-missions dotting your quest, some of which play out in chains. It’s these diversions about melancholy warriors and villagers adjusting to life under invasion that end up being the essential storytelling within the game. Whatever you do, don’t skip a single one.

Before GoT can overstay its welcome with collectible hunting and stat-tree building, the ride is over. If you find exhaustive open-world titles, well, exhausting, Sucker Punch coded enough of a campaign to sticking the landing and not more. But if you were looking for more, the game’s co-op Legends mode is the surprise encore of the year. It strikes its own tone, with vibrant, trippy designs, and a progression system that embarrasses other AAA titles in the space (I mean Avengers. I’m talking about Avengers).

3. THE LAST OF US PART II

The Last of Us is widely regarded as a masterpiece. It’s a melancholic trek through a realistic post-apocalypse, driven by the budding bond between a world-weary survivor and a would-be teenage savior. The fungal zombies and violent shootouts with scavengers were scary and exciting, but ultimately just window-dressing compared to the level of complicated, and honest, human emotion on display throughout the tale. While a segment of detractors helpfully pointed out that The Last of Us’ story isn’t unique when compared to years of post-apocalyptic books, comics, and movies, that argument seems to forget that a narrative more concerned with the human protagonists’ connections to one another instead of saving the world or feeding into a hero complex is pretty unique for games -- especially a high profile, AAA budgeted game.

Still, fans made heroes out of Joel and Ellie because of their own connection to their journey. And that connection is almost instantly challenged in the opening hours of The Last of Us Part II to heartbreaking effect. But I’m here to tell you that any other sequel would have been dishonest to the legacy of the original game. To be given a hero’s quest as a continuation, an imagined sequel where Joel and Ellie do battle against the viral infection that’s swept the earth, would have been a despicable cash-in. It would have been a mistake to follow-up the original’s careful examination of human nature just to placate an audience that seems to have missed the point Naughty Dog made. The Last of Us Part II hurts. But it has to or else it wouldn’t have been worth making. It’s a slow-burn meditation on the harmful ripples revenge creates, how suffering begets suffering, and how, if we don’t break the cycles of violence we commit to, suffering will come for us.

To drive this point, we’re given two distinct perspectives during the meaty (and somewhat overlong) campaign, split between Ellie Williams, the wronged party seeking revenge, and Abby Anderson, an ex-Firefly whose actions set the sequel into motion. The greatest trick Naughty Dog pulls off isn’t forcing us to play as a character we hate, it’s giving us reasons to emphasize with them. It was gradual, and despite some heavy-handed moments meant to squeeze sympathy out of the player (how many times do I have to see that fuckin’ aquarium?!), I eventually came to love Abby’s side of the story. The obvious irony being that she unwittingly walks the same path Joel did in the original.

My love for the narrative shouldn’t distract from how well designed the world is. Being a King County local, the vision of a ruined Seattle strikes an uncomfortable note -- it was eerie seeing recognizable buildings overgrown with vegetation but otherwise devoid of life. Maybe the heart-wrenching story also distracts from the fact this game is, by definition, survival horror. Exploring toppled buildings in the dark, hearing the animalistic chittering of the infected, defending yourself with limited resources… It manages to be a scarier entry into the genre in 2020 than even RE3R. There’s a particular fight in a fungus covered hospital basement that easily goes down as my Boss Fight of the Year. Human enemies make for clench-worthy encounters, too, with incredibly adept AI that forces you to keep moving around the environment and set traps to avoid getting overwhelmed.

Admittedly, the subject matter -- or more to the point, the grim tone -- was tough to stomach during an actual pandemic which has happily treated us to the worst of human nature. Still, The Last of Us Part II is absolutely worth playing for its balance of mature themes and expertly crafted world, and the way it juxtaposes beauty and awfulness in the same breath.

2. SPIDER-MAN: MILES MORALES

The most impressive thing about Miles Morales is that, despite being a truncated midquel rather than a full-blown sequel, it’s a better game than 2018’s Spider-Man. It’s not because of the instantaneous loading times or the fancy ray-tracing techniques used on the PS5 version of the game. Rather, it’s how it takes the joyride of the original game and hones it into a laser focused experience filled to the brim exclusively with highs. Like Batman: Arkham Asylum going into Arkham City, Miles starts the game off with his mentor’s best abilities and tools. From there, he discovers his own powers, his bioelectric venom strike, which ends up feeling like the missing ingredient from the first game’s combat.

Your open-world playground -- a locale in the Marvel universe called “New York City” -- is exactly the same size as the previous installment, which helps avoid making the game feel “lesser.” But Insomniac wisely consolidated the random crimes Peter faced into a phone app that Miles can check and choose which activity to help out with. Choices like this really trim the fat from the main game and help alleviate “the open-world problem” where the story’s pacing suffers because players are spending hours on end collecting feathers. This is great because Miles’ story is also great. The narrative kicks Peter out pretty early on, focusing on how Miles assumes the role of city protector, primarily focused on his new home in Harlem. Insomniac avoids retreading the same path paved by Into the Spider-Verse by telling a relatable tale where Miles defines his identity as Spider-Man. With a strong cast led by Nadji Jeter as Miles, the game lands an impactful story that weaves its own new additions to Miles’ mythos (light spoiler: I loved their take on The Prowler).

Miles Morales was pure virtualized joy from start to finish. A requirement of the platinum trophy is to replay the entirety of the game on New Game+. I didn’t hesitate to restart my adventure the minute the credits were over. Everything I loved about 2018’s Spider-Man is here: the swinging, the fighting, the gadgets, the bevy of costumes. But it gave me a new element I adore and can’t see Insomniac’s franchise proceeding without: being Miles Morales.

1. FINAL FANTASY VII REMAKE

I love subversive media, I do. And Square Enix’s “remake” of one the most beloved video games ever made subverts expectations by openly acknowledging that, yes, the original story you love exists and is consistently referenced in this game. But this is not that story. This is something..else. Because the truth is, SE could never have recreated FFVII and delivered a title that matched the Sacred Game fans created in their heads. That impossible standard is like an imagined deity, given power by feeding on raw nostalgia reinforced by years of word-of-mouth and appearances on Top 100 lists. I’m not saying FFVII is a bad game or that fans give it too much credit. Not at all. There’s a reason it’s so influential -- it’s good! But memory works in a funny way over time. We have a tendency to codify our perception of a thing over the reality of it. The connection we make to certain media, especially when introduced at a young age as FFVII had been to a whole generation of fans so long ago, creates a legend in our heads. Unfortunately, it’s a legend no developer could achieve when tasked with remaking it.

So Square...didn’t. Final Fantasy VII Remake has the same characters, setting, and plot beats as the first third of the original game but it’s not the same game, nor is it a remake of it in the traditional sense. It’s something new. And I fucking love that about it.

Everything is reconfigured, including the combat. After years of trying to merge RPG mechanics with more approachable (and marketable) real-time action (see FFXV and the Kingdom Hearts games for examples), Square Enix finally landed on the perfect balance. You fully control Cloud on the battlefield, from swinging your impossibly huge buster sword to dodging attacks. The ATB gauge (no one knows what the acronym stands for -- that information has been lost to time) gradually fills up, letting unleash powerful moves. But best of all, you fight in a party, and you can switch who to control on the fly.

That may not sound revolutionary, let alone for a Final Fantasy, but each character has a completely unique feel and suite of moves. At times, it feels like playing a Devil May Cry game where you can switch between Dante, Vergil, and Nero on the fly (that’s a free idea, Capcom. Hire me, you cowards). You can soften up an enemy with Cloud’s buster to increase their stagger meter, switch to Barret for a quick gatling barrage, and finally switch to Tifa to crush them with her Omnistrike. You can accomplish this in real-time or slow down the action to plan this out. It’s a great mix of tactics and action that prevents the game from feeling like a mindless hack n’ slash.

What really, really works here is the character work. Each lead walks in tropes first, but the longer you spend with the members of your party, the more their motivations and fears are laid out. You end up having touching interactions with just about the whole main cast. There’s a small segment, after Cloud saves Aerith from invading Shinra guards, that the two make an escape via rooftop.They make light conversation -- small talk really -- but it’s exchanges like this that feel genuine, perfectly framing their characters (stoic versus heartfelt), and grounding an otherwise larger-than-life adventure.

Many bemoaned the fact that FFVIIR only revisits a small portion of the original game, but I think it was a brilliant choice -- to massively expand on areas we only got to see a little of in the original. I honestly didn’t want to leave Midgar. It’s a world rife with conflict and corporate oppression, sure, but Midgar is beautifully realized, from the slums below the plates, populated with normal people trying to make the best of life, to the crime controlled Wall Market, adorned with gaudy lights and echoing honky tonk tunes. It very well may be years before FFVII’s remake saga comes to a close, but if each entry is paved with as much love and consideration and, yes, storytelling subversion as this introductory chapter… It’ll be worth the wait.

Survey #378

“come as you are, as you were, as i want you to be”

Have you ever dreamt in another language? No. How long will you try out something you don’t enjoy before giving up on it? It really depends, but in most cases, admittedly very quickly. What’s something you recently realized or discovered about yourself? *shrug* What’s the most interesting news you read or received recently? What about the most depressing? Not in a good way really, but it was certainly interesting to learn I have such severe sleep apnea. Like, I was certain I didn't. The most depressing would be uhhhh... I guess Jason's mother's death, but I don't know how "recent" you'd consider that by now. Would you let politics get in the way of a relationship? It depends. Some beliefs I absolutely would not tolerate (like anti-LGBT), others I would just agree to disagree with. What is one way in which you need to learn to control yourself? I need to get better at controlling my mouth when I'm extremely upset. Do you use a photo editor? I use Lightroom and Photoshop for photography. Is your dad overweight? No, I think he's actually underweight. Ever been honked at? Yes. What’s the name of the most recent baby a friend has had? Easton, I think? An old middle school friend had him. Have you ever taken medication to help you fall asleep faster? Yes, but they never work for me. How did your parents pick your name? I dunno. If you had to move to another country, where would you move? Canada. Do you have a balcony? No. Who is a singer that has given you chills? Man, I get chills easily with music. David Draiman from Disturbed, his cover of "Sound of Silence" is BREATHTAKING. That's number one. There are many others, they're just not coming to me at the moment. Do you have a drone? No. What was the spiciest thing you’ve ever eaten? Some wings at Buffalo Wild Wings. I got some crazy hot sauce. Have you ever discovered something gross in your food at McDonalds? No. What was the last thing you used sliced bread to make? A sandwich. How long did your shortest relationship last? Like a day lmao. Would you rather have a trampoline or swimming pool? A POOL!!!! I've talked before about how I want one so, SO very badly to exercise my legs without having to worry about sweat, and I can take a break the very moment I need to. Do you own a Snuggie? Yeah, somewhere. Do you listen to any unsigned bands/singers? Who? Yeah, quite a few on YouTube, but my favorite in Jonathan Young. He is SO damn talented. Who is your favorite video game character? Pyramid Head from the Silent Hill franchise. What kind of pictures do you post on Facebook/Instagram/Snapchat most frequently? Mostly of my pets lmao. Have you ever been on vacation with a significant other? No. Have you ever considered “unplugging”/taking a significant period of time away from technology? No. I know I'd never stick to it. Do you prefer to watch a documentary that is about a situation/event or a documentary that is more of a personal character study/biography? The latter. Meerkat Manor comes to mind with that, and everyone knows how much I adore that show. There was also one about rhesus macaques I fell in love with. Basically, I love animal docs, haha. Can you think of a recent time in which you might have been better off resisting, but you did something because you “just couldn’t help yourself”? Probably eating something. When you are getting to know someone, do you tend to worry that the other person will lose interest in you once they get to know the “real” you? Yyyyep. What is something that you would like to do, but really aren’t able to because of your location? (e.g., see art or get a certain job) Man, a lot of things. Photograph meerkats is a biggie. What sort of job do you think is best suited for your skills? Is this an in-demand position or something you’re unlikely to actually get? If I could actually handle the heat and was in good shape to traverse the outdoors, I think I'd be a great wildlife biologist. Even more though, if I could beat my social anxiety, I would ADORE being an animal educator with kids. Do you believe it is the responsibility of businesses, or prominent business leaders (think Bill Gates) to take the lead on social issues whether by using their influence or their money? Saying it's their "responsibility" sounds unfair and puts a lot of weight on their shoulders, but I do feel they should by their own volition and kindness use their position for good, such as through monetary assistance and other things. Have you ever gone to a job interview and realized that you didn’t want the job? Yep. Have you ever asked that someone sacrifice something (a habit, relationship, job, etc.) for you? A habit, yes. Looking back it was stupid as shit. What would you call your body type? Ew. Has anyone ever hacked your accounts before? Yes. Do you enjoy big holiday dinners? Considering I spend them with my sister's bigoted, homophobic, and racist in-laws, not especially. I always feel very uncomfortable and disliked among everyone for being the "black sheep" among 'em. Is your vision good? God no. Even with my glasses, it's very poor. I need a new prescription badly. Do both of your parents have jobs? Mom has something of the sort, like she cleans a local church for a small pay, but it's not really a "job." She's still recovering from cancer, getting her strength back up and such before she can handle a consistent job. Dad's had a job for as long as I've lived. What is something you’ve always wanted a boy to do for you? How heteronormative. But whatever. It's so fucking cheesy, but singing a cute song to me while slowdancing sounds so super adorable to me. What food are you craving right now? I am craving something sweet like you wouldn't believe. It's annoying. Have you ever been in a car accident? Yes. Do you have a lot of scars? Yes, but most are very negligible. I just scar extremely easily. Last person you saw other than your family? My primary doctor. Last movie you’ve seen in theaters? The The Lion King remake. Who was the last person you played a video game with? Ummm I think Girt. Last game you played at an arcade? Zero clue. What was your favorite nursery rhyme as a child? I THINK I particularly liked "The Itsy-Bitsy Spider?" None stand out strongly, though. What is your favorite cousin’s first name? I don’t have a favorite cousin. Would you prefer to travel around the world by yourself or with a friend? I think with a friend to prevent loneliness, but at the very same time, I see a great beauty in traveling on your own. Just taking new things in, seeing so many different cultures, beautiful scenery... I feel it'd be a great chance for exploration of insight. Remind yourself how small you are, that there's a much, much bigger picture than your own problems, that people are so unique but hopefully share common morals... I see a lot of poetry in it. Do you like the smell of coffee? It's one of my favorite smells. If you have a favorite photographer, can you describe their work? I can't possibly pick. I watch literally hundreds on deviantART, and many of them absolutely blow my mind. What’s one aspect of your life that did not turn out as you expected? My lack of a career. Outside of school, have you ever used a thesaurus? Well, online ones for writing. When you see a good-looking girl in skimpy clothing, what is your initial thought? I envy her confidence, like gotdamn girl. Have you ever been in a lighthouse? No. Are you on a laptop or desktop? A laptop. What color is your shower? White. Where do you order your pizza from? Domino's or Little Caesar's. What was the name of the last dog you pet? We've been calling the dog we're holding right now Zoe. Have you ever had anything stolen from you? Yes. Have you ever seen the White House? I don't think so, but it's possible I have when we've driven up to New York, but from a distance. How about Niagara Falls? No. What do you like in your salads and what dressing do you prefer? I just like regular iceberg lettuce with some bacon bits and ranch. Man, that sounds good right about now. Any posters of a band on your bedroom wall? Yeah, Metallica and Marilyn Manson. Do you think it’d be cool to have your body mummified after you die? No. I couldn't rock the mummy look even if I tried, haha. Can you tell the difference between a Scottish & an Irish accent? Not really, no. Can you read music? I used to be able to. Do you work the night shift? I don’t have a job, but if I did, I absolutely do not want to work the night shift anywhere. Have you ever slept over at your best friend’s house? Yes. Is your mother diabetic? Are you? She is, but I'm not. Would you like to learn how to make ceramic pottery? It'd be cool, sure. Ever sang someone to sleep? No. Who did you last kiss? My cat. Why did you last lie? I don't recall. Probably to just avoid confrontation with Mom. What do you put on your hamburgers? Cheese, ketchup, and mustard, generally. Who do you think cares the most about you? My mom. Have you ever sent a dirty picture? No. What’s at the center of your dining table? Honestly, we sit in there so rarely that I don't even know. I think we might have nothing, actually. Have you ever started a rumor? No. Do you like being outside? If it's cool, yes. What’s your favourite condiment? Maybe ketchup. Or honey mustard. Who sang/played the last song you listened to? Chris Motionless is the singer of Motionless In White. I don't know if that's his real last name, though. Do you like yoga? I used to. Now all the bending and shit would make me dizzy as hell with my "how are you still alive" level of low blood pressure. Do you always carry breath mints? No, but I do carry Tictacs with me, but they're for my dry mouth. It forces you to salivate, so it helps. What do you think your reaction would be upon entering the White House? I don't really know. I honestly don't even know how it looks inside. Thinking about it, I'd probably be more scared than anything, waiting for a bomb to drop or some shit lmao. Have you ever grown your own sea monkeys or dinosaurs? OH MY GOD I LOVED those!!! I definitely did! Have you ever thrown a game controller (or the game) and broke it? No, I've never been the type to do that. If I'm SERIOUSLY getting mad, all I do is tighten my grip. Did you ever own an Etch-a-Sketch? Yes. Do/did you ever have glow-in-the-dark stars on your ceiling? I believe so. What movie were you really worked up for that ended up disappointing you? My answer is Warcraft, but only because the fucking orcs' voices were so baritone that I couldn't understand them almost ever lmaooo. Like I had a mild idea of what was going on because of the game, but still. What part of a paper is hardest for you to write? The intro, or the conclusion. Both are difficult to me. Like I want to compose a gripping beginning as well as an end that doesn't just repeat everything I've already said and ends on a strong note. Does it bother you that almost everything is done on computers now? No. KFC Chicken: original or extra crispy? I don't like fried chicken. Think about your first kiss. Did you have any idea what you were doing? I mean, I guess? Like I'd seen kisses enough to know how to give someone a peck. It just came naturally. Did you get Happy Meals just for the toys as a kid? Not just for the toy, but it's the main thing I wanted, sure. Have you ever seen your parents cry? If so, how did it make you feel? Seeing my mom cry absolutely destroys me. I don't want her to hurt EVER. Especially if it's seriously unfair bullshit that has her upset, I also get very angry (not at her, of course) and protective. I've seen Dad tear up once, back when he was telling us about his mother's funeral, and I felt immense surprise more than anything. He does NOT cry. How do you feel about animal testing? It's fucking disgusting and barbaric. Find a different goddamn way. Do you add condiments to your ice cream, or just eat it plain? If I'm having vanilla, I'll usually add chocolate syrup. Have you ever witnessed a crime? Yes. What’s the coolest personalized license plate you’ve ever seen? I'm forever gonna get a kick out of this one that just said "omw," haha.

Story Previews:

Below you will find the names and summaries of the entered stories, please take care to read through them and be aware of any warnings when thinking about which piece it is you wish to claim. Make sure to have two in mind when choosing as your first choice may already be taken.

To claim a story, send an email to [email protected] with the titles of your top two favourites. Claims only begin on March 24th at 10am GMT, please wait until this time to submit your claim, or else it will NOT be counted. 

I’ve had people in the past try to submit claims via ask and they have not come through, please send in the claims via email only. Thanks.

 1.    Title: HandShook

Summary: “Get me a handshake, Tony, that’s it. Don’t break anything and please do not turn this into an interspecies war.” -James Rhodes

Tony Stark is the first man in the history of the human race to breach the heliosphere keeping space-faring humanity from the rest of the universe. Bucky’s people, the Aldori, a technologically advanced, space-faring race, watch him do it. The Aldori demand a meeting to establish diplomatic relations and determine whether or not humans will prove to be a threat to them. Without letting the Aldori know that only Tony’s ship is advanced enough to make the trip, Rhodey is forced to send him as ambassador.

Simple right? Except the handshake Tony is supposed to capture on film for Rhodey is intensely intimate to the Aldori.

The Aldori decide to go through with it. Their people are at war and they need these humans, who are apparently so advanced that they can skip through ‘The Trench,’ to either join their cause, or, at worst, remain neutral.

They’ve married off royalty for political alliances before. It’s a good thing Prince Bucky came back from the war only partially damaged. He’s perfect for an alliance with an untested race of people.

Current word count: 21,637

Warnings: 1) Bucky and Tony engage in an act of public handshaking which within the world would be roughly the equivalent of public nudity/a public sex act 2) Bucky forms an accidental mind meld with Tony as a result of a really good handshake--bare hands touching is very intimate for his people. Tony doesn't know about this for a very brief time. During which he 'feels' Bucky's feelings for him which are predominantly affectionate. -the mind-meld may result in telepathic sex which hasn't been written yet. (So: Tony engages in an intimate act without knowing it's considered intimate. Bucky accidentally Bonds with him, creating a mental connection as a result. Pseudo accidental marriage. Light (I think?) Dub con of the making someone else feels your romantic feeling for them type.)

 2 Title: Tony’s New Friend (working title) Summary: When Tony is forced to come home for his summer break at MIT, he thinks it is going to be a disaster. He’s right. But it also ends up being a lot more exciting than he thought too. Who says urban exploring is a bad thing? Current word count: 14432

Warnings: None A/N: It’s not finished yet, but I’ll have a better summary/more finished by time you pick it. Promise. (This is turning out longer than I thought)

 3 Title: No Title Yet/Canon-Divergent from CA:WS

Summary: After helping Natasha and Steve with the Project Insight fuck up, Tony agrees to help with their Winter Soldier problem. Namely, find the man and keep him non-hypnotisable. But of course the Winter Soldier, being the Winter Soldier, finds Tony first. 

Current word count: 5.181

Warnings: Maybe some gnarly description of the connection between the metal arm and Bucky’s skin. Nothing too bad, but I guess caution is best. There might be a scene of adjusting a new arm, but since I am no doctor, I don’t know how detailed I will describe that yet.

A/N: This is a canon-divergent fic, that has Steve, Nat, and Sam ask Tony for help with the Helicarriers instead of, you know, dumping all of SHIELD’s info online xD Steve tells Tony about his parents and Tony, taking a few days to deal with it, then decides to help him with the Winter Soldier, thus creating BARF sooner, with Helen Cho and Bruce Banner (so no Quentin Beck). Bucky in the meantime, having managed to evade HYDRA, finds him because the arm needs repairs. 

 4 Title: The Daemon In Me (tentatively)

Summary: Tony Stark is, as far as he knows, the only person who can see daemons, a manifestation of a person’s soul that, naturally, shares their Mark. 

Several years after his parents’ deaths, Obadiah Stane arrives to inform him that Howard had arranged a marriage for him, and it’s time to meet his prospective husband. There’s just one tiny hitch. 

The groom doesn’t have the same Mark as his daemon.

Current word count: 5050-ish

Warnings: Implied/referenced child abuse, Howard’s A+ parenting, alternate universe – daemons, alternate universe – soulmarks, implied/referenced arranged marriage 

A/N: This is definitely alternative universe but it’s incredibly vague on details of such. It’s also not finished yet, but Tony and Bucky will definitely meet, beat the bad guys and end up happily ever after (I can’t be more specific, because this was supposed to have been a completed fic).

 5 Title: The Tangled Tale of Winteriron 

Summary: Prince James was born to the kingdom of Brooklyn via the miracle of a magic flower. Kidnapped at a young age, his best friend and betrothed Steve Rogers tears the kingdom apart to find him. 

A thief named Iron Man is currently on the run from the king’s guards. Hiding in a secluded tower, he finds himself tied up by a young man with a whole lot of… hair?

Current Word Count: approximately 9500 words

Warnings: Emotional manipulation and abuse

A/N:

 6 Title: Winter Witcher (may change) Summary: Twenty years ago, the Witcher Bucky rescued the King and Queen of Stark from a monster that had moved into their castle. Pressed to name a reward above and beyond the coin he’d been promised, he claimed the Law of Surprise, electing to let destiny choose his prize. Before he could return to find out what it was that he’d won, another monster locked him in ice. Tony of Stark has always known that his marriage would be a political one, but he’s discovered that his betrothed and his chief counselor are conspiring against him. Left with no time to plan an escape and isolated from his few loyal friends, Tony’s desperation and determination unlock a conduit of chaos within him that takes him far, far away, right into the arms of his destiny. Current word count: ~25,000 (finished but unedited) Warnings: Dubcon (sex drug/magic) A/N: This draft is complete, but if our artist has additional ideas, we’re happy to discuss how to work them in! This is basically “Episode 1” of what might turn into a whole series of stories, but as this is the “pilot” episode, it should stand on its own.

 7 Title: Your eyes aren’t rivers there to weep (But a place for crows to rest their feet)

Summary: Bucky sat up slowly, pain throbbing from his temple to the nape of his back specifically. "You’re an absolute idiot, you know that? Didn’t you know your AI can’t detect magical traps?”

“Oh sure, ‘cause we fight many villains who like to hide portals in the floor? You’re a bigger idiot for following me, Barnes.”

-or-

Tony disobeys orders during a mission and causes him and Bucky to fall through Doom’s time travel portal, forcing them to survive together in a tropical rainforest, to their utter reluctance.

Current word count: 11 800

Warnings: None

A/N: This is an unedited WIP! I added the outline for what I plan for the reminder of the story at the end. :)

 8 Title: Wings in my Soul (Stars in my Eyes)

Summary: After being spaced when his ship is destroyed, Bucky assumes his life on the run is over. His life is unexpectedly saved by one of the most advanced spaceships he’s ever seen, and the sentient AI running it. T-0N33 is so real, Bucky quickly finds himself questioning how thin the line is between machine and man. Together, they flee from HYDRA’s spreading influence and the megalomaniac Technopath, Zola. Throughout space battles and hijinks, they ask themselves: Can an AI have a soul and more importantly, can they fall in love?

Current word count: 7,838

Warnings: Nongraphic violence

A/N: ^o^ gay bois in SPAAAAAAACE

 9 Title: Here, There and Neverwhere

Summary: After a long quiet night at the pub, Bucky was ready to have a simple night in. However, as fate deals its hand, Bucky gets dragged into a series of events that pulls him out of his new normal to a game where Gods and magic reign supreme. A handsome and charming magician Tony helps Bucky stack his deck, granting him a chance to survive.

When the wheel of fortune spins, will the odds be in their favour?

Current word count: 5086

Warnings: Canon typical violence

A/N: Rating is currently T but could go up to M or E 

Smile for Me

A Kiro x Alex (OC) piece! 

Days dragged on and weighed on his body. He didn’t hate touring. In fact it was the opposite. He loved going on tours, meeting fans, performing onstage. All of those things were great. Superstar Kiro could act, sing, write and play music. He knew he was very handsome and cute. He loved games. He was an international sweetheart. The whole package. But none of the many things that he was, none of his millions of fans, could fill the hole left by the lack of his partner. 

He missed Alex so much! Awkward, adorable, agoraphobic Alex. His little video game designer! They were so talented and no one even knew it because they didn’t reveal themselves as the creator of ALeeGames online. He loved when he would hear people talk about their games or see threads online discussing how cool the designer for the games must be. Oh if only they knew! His little storm cloud would be so embarrassed if they knew some of the things being said. Alas, Alex tended to avoid threads about them. They only looked at threads regarding their games to gain input and insights on what they could do better or what people wanted to see. They even had separate social media specifically for their game handle.

As if on cue, his phone buzzed in his pocket. A video chat request from Alex! Ah! They had to be connected if Alex was calling while he thought of them! 

“Hey, cutie pie~!” Kiro beamed at his phone. Oh the sight of Alex made his heart dance. “I see you redyed your hair. Sticking to green for now?”

“Hiya, sunshine,” Alex laughed, blowing the camera a kiss. He heard a meow in the background come from Alex’s cat-son and his adopted cat-son, Kimchi. “Yeah, I thought I’d stick to green for now. I wanna try blue or purple but I just don’t know if I’ve got the guts to change it up.”

If only they had all the time in the world to talk. Kiro was in his dressing room before a concert. He didn’t have nearly enough time. No amount of time was truly enough to make up for the longing that long distance stirred within his heart. He couldn’t wait to be home with them.

“You would look good with any color, my little storm cloud. Wait until I come home! Then I can help you pick.”

“Ten minutes before go, Kiro,” he heard Savin say through the dressing room door. Plenty of time to get in some much needed Alex time. 

“I hate time zones,” he whined. “I can never sing you to sleep anymore because I’m so busy when it’s night for you.”

Alex laughed, shaking their head. Kimchi the cat came into frame, rubbing his head against Alex’s face. “I know, babe. I miss it, too. But you’ve got meet and greets and CD signings during the day on your tour. And you need to take naps before concerts. I’m just glad we find the time to call each other.”

The time differences sucked. He was so far away. Sometimes he would wake up at 3 in the morning because he heard his phone go off with a good morning text from Alex followed by an apology because they forgot what time it was for him. It only got worse the more he traveled. There were days he couldn’t even remember what time it was because the times changed from place to place. Further proof that time was just a human construct! A construct meant to keep him from his love!

“I will always find time for you! I even squeeze in checking both your personal and work social media accounts! I can’t wait to come home. I can beta test your new game for you, right? Right!?” Alex was almost always had to be their own beta tester. They were a perfectionist and didn’t want anyone to see something that was less than their idea of perfect.

“If my game isn’t finished before you come back, I’ll consider letting you beta test,” they said. There was a brief pause between them. “I...I did design the main character after you.”

Tears of joy pricked at the idol’s eyes. But he couldn’t let them fall! He had to go onstage and crying would stuff up his nose! “Alex, that’s so sweet! I’ve always wanted to be a video game character!”

There was another, much longer pause. Kiro knew the wheels in Alex’s head were turning. They had that look in their eyes. The little hamster in their brain was doing laps. Something was on their mind.

“I miss you so much.” Alex looked a bit downcast. They both knew he still had three months before they could be together again. Three long months.

“Hey, hey, no frowns! Your Superhero Kiro wants to see his storm cloud looking happy! If you smile, I know I’ll have a great concert!” Kiro made a little heart out of his thumb and forefinger, a bright smile on his own face.

Alex couldn’t help but laugh and smile back at their sunshine. He was always so supportive and bright. Like the sun. Alex was more like the moon, reflecting the light of the sun. 

“Five minutes, Kiro,” Savin popped his head into the dressing room. He got a look at the star’s phone screen and shook his head with a smile. “I’ll take care of him, Alex, he’ll be home before you know it.” He closed the door as he left. Savin was strict on Kiro’s routine but he was very caring. Like a father.

“I hate that we’ve gotta end the call but I need to get to my place to go onstage.” He pouted.

“Kiro, wait!”

His thumb hovered over the “end call” button, his head now cocked to the side. “What is it, Alex?”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“Call me when you get done if you’re not too tired?” Alex sounded hopeful. Though they knew it may be a long shot. Kiro needed his rest after all. They couldn’t be selfish and keep him awake.

“I will, I promise. I wanna fall asleep with you being the last thing I see.”

Thanks for reading!!!

Feelings on Sally Face Episode 5

Under a read more for obvious reasons, includes heavy spoilers and potentially triggering subjects. 

Disclaimer: I might miss-remember some parts of the story or have missed a piece of lore that would settle minor complaints. I am however disappointed in the ending as a whole and in some of the very harmful tropes included in it. But I’m also just some dude online with an opinion, and you can stop reading at any time. 

Rant under cut. 

Alright ya’ll. I’ve had a couple days to digest the ending to Sally Face.  While playing, I genuinely enjoyed some elements of the game. The chapter started on a dark but nearly hopeful note. Neil and Ash were still working to bring the cult down. It seemed likely Sal would be resurrected. Todd had apparently escaped the hospital, and that had potential to be either a very very good or very very bad thing. Maple was possessed by whatever fucked up the souls of the other apartment tenants, but hey! At least her and Neil weren’t in on the cult like so many fans predicted. Unfortunately, this series has a way of getting darker and darker as it progresses.  First thing that bugged me was the lore drop about how the cult was founded.  A Native American tribe. Right. Because why wouldn’t Indigenous peoples be in a story without being part of some mystical occult backstory, portrayed as mysterious historical props who worshiped something dark and evil instead of being portrayed as human beings. 

But I continued. I really enjoyed playing as Ashley and getting some insight into her character. I enjoyed the task of planting the C4 in the temple... catacomb... thing. We get to see Travis again! I was excited that a lot of us were right about him being indoctrinated but also working to fight the cult from the inside. We knew he had some good in him after all. 

When Ash tries to resurrect Sal, we get even more insight into her character, and unfortunately a lot of it is “Grieving, distraught, and full of self-blame”. I want to hug her.  Sal’s spirit is apparently revived by those pyramids, and he can dimension warp. We meet Jim, or what’s left of him, and he doesn’t give a fuck about anything anymore but agrees to help Sal anyway. This is, narratively speaking, weird as hell. His entire character arc for four episodes was “Loved his family so much he sacrificed himself to save them”, and suddenly he’s just some glowy dude attached to Magic Spirit Tubes who doesn’t give half a shit. I guess it makes sense as a way to wrap up why he’s been able to drift between worlds but... if he doesn’t care about any of that anymore why help Sal? And what about Rosenberg? Is she like Jim, or do we just have to assume she’s magical because her family helped found the cult? (Explained in an easter egg later on, because this game doesn’t just drop its lore. Not even the CRUCIAL lore. You have to achievement hunt for it.) Sal can enter various doors in the House In The Void to step into alternate realities, and this was my favorite aspect of the game. Each door has a different art style, and I really liked seeing these alternate realities. Steve probably worked the hardest and longest on drawing out and coding these scenes. I genuinely applaud the man for the work put into this endeavor I’m assuming all by himself. 

Meanwhile, Ash tries to unbind Larry’s soul from the tree house he died in, which doesn’t work. Did we ever find out why his body was never found? No? Ok that seems important.

After each puzzle, Sal’s body is restored a little bit at a time, but even after turning on all the pyramids and solving the mysteries behind all three doors, he can’t make it back to the “real” world. So Ashley kills herself. Or tries to. Because apparently that’s the only way to complete the ritual, and also because she feels really bad about not unbinding Larry’s soul and about not fixing Sal. Again, I want to hug her, but I have to watch her hurt herself instead, cause Steve doesn’t let us have nice things.

Okay, so this is a gorey game. We know. But one of the BIGGEST no-nos suicide prevention networks will tell you when consulting them about mental illness and suicide in media is NOT to show a graphic suicide in progress. Steve is aware a lot of his fans are A) Young teens to young adults B) Struggling with mental illness. 

His main character suffers from depression and anxiety and this fact has resonated with hundreds of fans. It’s irresponsible to purposefully include a graphic suicide attempt, but he did it last chapter, showing a gunshot suicide’s aftermath, then he did it again with Ashley. Call me a wiener if you like, point out the graphic scenes from earlier in the game and call me a hypocrite for not being upset by that, but you have to admit the Spongebob-close-up-shot look to those scenes have a totally different feel. Speaking as someone who actually has a pretty thick skin, but is concerned about the fans who might be in a worse place or who could be as young as 12, that was fucked up. 

Anyway, Ash’s attempt doesn’t take, because she’s struck by magic lightning, which infuses Sal’s soul into her. Now her arm is one of those stretchy sticky hands, but with bio luminescence and the ability to kick cultist ass. I actually thought this part was really cool, and was super ready to go on a cultist smacking spree. But again, we can’t have nice things and before we get to do anything badass we have to look at gruesome imagery again. 

You get to see Void Larry, who is now old and a wizard or something, but first...

Surprise! Maple and Neil are dead! Not just dead, but hung up from hooks covered in blood! And naked! 

Hey?? Hey Steve????? You know how they’re both POC?? And that lynching imagery is EXTREMELY NOT GOOD?!!????

“Two white people are hung up with them” YEAH? WELL WE’VE NEVER SEEN THOSE CHARACTERS BEFORE. THEY’RE JUST RANDOM PEOPLE.

I’ve seen people arguing “The white characters go through terrible things too” but it’s still really fucked up that by the end of the game, every. Single. Person of color. In the game. Has died. Gruesomely. It’s a gorey, dark, bleak game, and white characters die as well, gruesomely; but not all of them. None of them that are named are shown strung up, naked. That’s fucked up. That isn’t okay. 

There are also a total of three gay characters in this game. One is Todd, who goes through the standard “bad bad stuff” the game is used to, is the white one, and he survives. One is Neil, one of the aforementioned people of color who died horribly and who only really existed to be Todd’s boyfriend and therefore a source of angst for Todd when he dies. The third is Travis, another man of color, and an abuse victim, who dies to fulfill his character arc as an abuse victim, which is also really shitty to see over and over again as an abuse survivor. 

Look, I know Steve pulled a lot of inspiration from old TV shows and horror series that probably weren’t all “politically correct”. I know it’s always been kind of an edgy and dark game. I know Steve probably didn’t think about the repercussions of all his narrative choices. But I also know he actively ignored some people offering to educate him on issues he has no experience with. I know he worked hard on this game, by himself, but we as fans have paid him and waited for years and it isn’t selfish or ungrateful to be hurt and disappointed. He knows his audience is diverse, he knows a lot of us were attracted to the game because of a gender nonconforming main character, a main character who struggles with mental illness, a cast that isn’t 100% white and conventionally attractive. Of course he didn’t need to change the plot for us! It’s his game, his vision, but the least he could have done is research how to not actively hurt and alienate a good portion of us.  I don’t think anyone is bad or racist for still finding solace in the characters and in what the story was before this, I’m not attacking you personally, whoever is reading this. I, personally, still have loads of Sally Face art in my queue, I still have active role plays going on, my Sal wig is sitting like 8 feet away waiting for the next time my friends want to take cosplay pictures. I still enjoyed playing the game for the most part. Without this game I wouldn’t even know most of my current friends. It’s just really shitty how it ended like this, and a lot of people I talk to daily either feel too sick to even talk about the game anymore after seeing people like them treated like trash by the narrative or try to focus on the good things they got out of just being part of the fandom but don’t feel comfortable supporting the developer anymore. 

Even if there wasn’t all these hurtful tropes packed into the game, and yes, even after unlocking the epilogue, the game just feels cold. It feels rushed, probably because of how much time went into the alternate dimension gimmick. I wish Steve had at least consulted people over the script. It felt like not only did he pour all his work into experimenting with the mixed media, he also just took whatever expectations the fans had and went somewhere completely different just to have his story be “unpredictable”. That isn’t always a good thing. Plot twists, downer endings, dark and scary imagery, all of these things can be done beautifully, but in this case it felt like he just wanted the series to end. The game didn’t subvert expectations, it fed into the harmful stereotypes and tropes all the fans were so hopeful it wouldn’t. 

...On top of not making any sense unless you’re able to 100% all the puzzles. And even when you do, it feels like all the bad stuff happened for no reason. The ending doesn’t conclude anything. Even when you unlock the epilogue, all it tells you is that a third of the world has died and that the main cast haven’t accomplished much besides “Trying to help”. Sal and Todd have powers now, but that isn’t elaborated on much. Larry’s spirit is missing, if he even exists in any plane at all anymore. It doesn’t even mention what’s going on with Ash.  It just feels like nothing mattered. 

Civil War Fixit #1

How the Accords scene in CIVIL WAR should have gone down in production didn't favor Tony the way it did in a Captain America movie.

The Team (that's what the actually called themselves. Avengers was a name that Tony used at the drop of a hat and it had a nice ring when it comes to publicity, but it's a bit pretentious to use among themselves) sat around the conference table in the Compound situation on the Hudson, just upriver from New York. Thaddeus Ross, who had crawled out of whatever dive bar he'd last been seen in to suddenly be named Secretary of State (when will this country ever learn?), was droning on about perspective and accountability (totally unironically, it should be noted) while weaving in a story about a golf game for reference and simultaneously insulting them by calling them "dangerous".

Then came the video presentation, with footage of the battles of Manhattan, D.C., Sokovia and then finally their most recent mission to Lagos, which unfortunately ended in tragedy (but not as much as it could have).

Wanda flinched from the footage and averted her eyes, while Steve noticed and called immediately for it to stop. "Okay. That's enough." Ross nodded to his aide, who turned off the television, because apparently the Secretary wasn't capable of reaching over to push the button himself.

"For the past four years, you've operated with unlimited power and no supervision. That's an arrangement the governments of the world can no longer tolerate. But I think we have a solution." His aid handed him a thick document, very official-looking, and he placed it on the table in front of Wanda. THE SOKOVIA ACCORDS were printed very boldly on the front of the novel-sized manuscript.

"The Sokovia Accords. Approved by 117 countries… it states that the Avengers shall no longer be a private organization. Instead, they'll operate under the supervision of a United Nations panel, only when and if that panel deems it necessary." Secretary Ross went on, as the document was passed from Wanda to Rhodey, who immediately opened it to look inside.

"Yes, we did lose people, but we saved more. It's an ugly statistic, but the innocent are always the first to suffer in any conflict. You would have thought someone with your war record would know that." Steve said, followed by a silence where you could have heard a pin drop. "The Avengers were formed to make the world a safer place. I feel we've done that."

"Tell me, Captain, do you know where Thor and Banner are right now?" Ross asked.

"Did you seriously just refer to two people who have done more to protect this planet than the entire US military ad weapons of mass destruction?" Natasha countered with a deceptively sweet smile.

"If I misplaced a couple of 30 megaton nukes… you can bet there'd be consequences." Ross said. "Compromise. Reassurance. That's how the world works. Believe me, this is the middle ground."

"So there are contingencies?" Rhodey asked, trying to keep the conversation on track, only to be interrupted by Steve.

"I'm sorry, I'm still stuck on the consequences part."

"Do you truly believe that you've suffered consequences for the actions done by this team? For the buildings you've toppled, the lives you've ruined, the country you destroyed?"

"For the record, Mr. Secretary, the Ultron program and everything it did after coming online is the responsibility of the man sitting behind me." The eyes of the other Avengers shifted to Stark, who was looking at Steve like he'd never seen him before. "Not a single other person at this table had any knowledge of what he was doing in his lab, so if you have issue with what happened in Sokovia, I suggest you take it up with him."

Ross opened his mouth for a rebuttal but Steve beat him to it.

"But, in the spirit of fairness, let's talk consequences." Steve went on. "F.R.I.D.A.Y.?"

"Yes, Steve?" The A.I. said from the speakers.

"Could you roll footage of Culver University, spring semester, 2008?"

The screen that had been off immediately clicked back on and began playing back footage from cellphones and cameras of Ross' failed attempt to contain and capture the Hulk in the middle of a crowded campus, using an unauthorized enhanced human, as well as weapons that put the civilian population in extreme danger. The last image was of the Hulk launching an armored truck at another, the screen immediately going static as the footage was lost.

"Harlem, three days later."

The Hulk's fight with a severely mutated Blonsky showed on the screen next, as well as the atrocities that Emil committed on his own before Banner stepped in to stop him. Ross's face was reddening at having one of his biggest failures played in front of the very people he was trying to intimidate. Harlem was on of his biggest failures and he did a lot to try and distance himself from it.

"Thank you, F.R.I.D.A.Y." Steve said and the screen froze on an image of the infamous Abomination lifting a car above his head, about to crush it into some police officers. "Tell me, Mr. Secretary, where were your consequences? Because from what I understand, you tried to pin the whole thing on Blonsky and Banner, getting a medal and a promotion for your trouble."

Ross stood there, gaping, like a fish out of water, unable to process what was happening. He really should have listened to Phillips back in the day, when he told everyone that Rogers wasn't anything like the propaganda. Sam, Wanda and Natasha were doing their best to not outright laugh.

"How long to we have to come to a decision?" Steve asked as the document was slid in front of him

"Three days." Ross said, straightening his suit and trying to regain his composure. Steve paused in his inspection of the document, looking up and raising an eyebrow at the short time span. "In three days the United Nations meet in Vienna to ratify the Accords."

"And if we come to a decision you don't like?" Natasha asked.

"Then you retire." Ross replied.

"Thank you, Mr. Secretary." Steve said, looking back at the document before him and not even giving the former general the courtesy of eye contact. "We'll be sure to discuss this thoroughly. He looked up then, pinning the older man with America's eyes. "I believe you know the way out." He said before looking back to the document, already a few pages in.

None of the other Avengers stood or showed any sign of walking him to the door, so Ross angrily turned on his heel and left the room.

"Oh, and F.R.I.D.A.Y. could you please provide the Secretary with a list of all the individuals targeted by Project Insight?" Steve's parting shot was quickly followed by a ping to both his personal phone and his aide. When he pulled out the phone, the first to things he saw were his and his daughter's face with a red label declaring them "Priority Targets."

*****************

Sorry if that felt rushed or slightly OOC. I did this quickly on the app because it's dead at work. Part 2 to come shortly.

DiceJar 0 END: what could have been...

Being completed ghosted for a scheduled session once again, I suppose I should finally face the facts and call the campaign. Which is, of course, very disappointing.

-

Let’s review the experiments I attempted in this campaign.

Experiment 1: Using a published module/adventure.[1]

I thought I might gain some valuable insight by analyzing a ‘professional’ product. By using an adventure I’d previously played myself, I’d hoped my experiences would smooth out my figuring out how to run it. Eventually, I learned the value of bullet pointed action plans, because the formatting of Crypt of the Everflame was not good for skimming, as vital information was hidden in the middle of information texts so I’d miss it during the game if I didn’t make sure to call, say, dice roll mechanics for going down a slippery hillside. It also meant I could look ahead and edit out rooms and mechanics that didn’t move the story of dungeon.

So, this experiment was technically a success, even if the lesson I took away was ‘modules don’t work well with my improv style, but provides inspiration sometimes.’ More on that later.

Experiment 2: Get a group to meet regularly.

So I’ve been wanting to do an actual play show since… well, before Critical Role and The Adventure Zone made it cool. For that, I need players willing to collaborate and also respect call time. As you can easily conclude from the time stamps, I couldn’t manage that, even when a freaking pandemic swept in and made being home for online sessions theoretically easier![2] Admittedly, my work schedule is not exactly ideal, as my Saturdays are permanently called for, and my Sundays are a wild ride of inconsistency, while my peers are moving to more conventional work life.

So, the experiment failed, and to a degree that I doubt a career or just schedule change would help. I did learn that a biweekly schedule works well for me, since I can spend the off week on planning, and still have time for my pre- and post-performance need to separate thoroughly and enter a neutral state.[3]

Experiment 3: Finish a dang narrative arc.

Ha ha. This also failed! Couldn’t get to the end of the dungeon. Welp.

Other lessons learned

I don’t online play well! Just get distracted by other internet tabs. It’s not as bad when I GM, since the stress of running the game keeps me more focused, but both the Curse of Strahd campaign I quietly quit[4] and IndigoDie’s Troika session[5] showed that I’m a garbage player online. Possibly an adoption of webcams and faces would assist, but I can’t ask for that.

People still hard! Still haven’t figured out how to get anyone invested. Can’t really be upset at the silent cancellations because I’m technically doing that with Curse of Strahd, and thus would be a hypocrite.

-

What was planned!

It’s only fair I give some amount of closure.

Session three ended with Bean dying, and there wasn’t a narratively consistent way to introduce a new party member…

Well, I guess if NavyDie consented to playing a bandit, or rewriting the scared dungeon prepper the party skipped…

What I decided was thus:

Bean's eyes open. The sharp pain of the punctures and tears, and the slow ache of liquid passing through those openings are gone, as is much of the world's color. The torches and other sources of light shine blue.

His companions are gathered around him, their mouths moving as if speaking, but Bean hears nothing.

For some reason, Bean feels at peace with this. This is correct.

Footsteps echo from the stairs, growing louder. A figure emerges from the floor below. When it enters the light, at first it is blurry, like many images projected upon the same space. Within the time that Bean's now still heart would have beat, the many silhouettes fade, leaving one form: Bean's father, though not the frail man Bean saw before he left Kassen, nor how bean's father looked before he was ravaged by illness, but the impossibly tall, strong, noble figure that Bean remembers his father being.

Though this man's smile has none of the warmth, and his eyes glow with an eldritch light.

"Seems you've come to some misfortune, Bernard Dipp," says this Mr. Dipp-who-is-not-Bean's-father. "Would you like some help with that?"

This mysterious fiend would become Bean’s patron for a level of Warlock, and ride around his head for the foreseeable future, threatening death if Bean didn’t do as ordered. You know, an excuse for Bean to continue adventuring instead of taking over the family farm.

As for where this fiend came from… well, I easily adapted that into the dungeon’s lore.

Kassen, whose visage is all over the crypt, is not the only one entombed within. There are also those who perished alongside him during his final battle, as well as those who perished facing him in the final battle. This includes Asar, who once adventured with Kassen until the two became bitter enemies or whatever, ending when Asar lead the charge against Kassen.

Anyways, an amount of time ago, bandits stumbled upon Kassen’s Crypt and started looting, and disturbed the coffins, looting a pair of medallions.

Here’s my adjustment: the medallions are now artifacts sealing away a fiend, and reuniting them freed him, whose presence radiated enough necromantic energies and roused Asar, who was deeply offended to be interred in a shrine to his enemy. Stupid, egotistical Kassen. Let’s channel this necromantic magic laying away and get some skeletal minions and kill those who bother me.

Which wasn’t great for the bandits, then later the advance party from Kassen, sent to make the trial safe for the youths. Blood was spilled. It wasn’t great.

Then our heroes arrived, and (hypothetically) resolved matters. Kassen’s ghost would then appear, thank the party, probably convey embarrassment at how the place is decorated, and grant boons to the party[6] before sending them on their way with a lit lantern.

Back in town, a grand celebration would turn somber as word of what happened in the tomb occurred, by it would be mixed and a feast would still be held.

The module ends with someone inviting the party to join the Pathfinder Society, but I’d cut that.

As for the fiend? Well, he’s transferred his tether from the amulets to Bean, so now he can ride the boy to wherever.

Unfortunately, I didn’t have anything particularly exciting planned for the others, as Bean was the only one who I got the opportunity to saddle with a commitment.

IndigoDie quit anyways.

Delilah I could motivate with eagerness to be free of her parents.

Yot… is a mercenary, so maybe Delilah could’ve paid him.

I could’ve figured something out if the players insisted on continuing with their characters. That would’ve been a discussion for after the module was completed.[7]

-

Moving forward!

So DiceJar waits evermore. I don’t want to admit that it’s an implausible goal, but I’m not in a great headspace about it. I still crave role-playing, but I think I’ll wait for someone to start their own campaign, or I guess see if I get a turn-over of my friend group.

NavyDie mentioned wanting to try a Powered by the Apocalypse system, and it’s only fair I actually try the mechanics before completely writing the rule set off.[8]

The next experiments I want to run when I return to behind the GM screen relates to system: Savage Worlds (once the most recent edition is back in print) as I search for a generic system that fits my needs, and Ryuutama, because Ryuutama just looks fun.

But… I don’t know what to do from here.

Until next time, may your dice (and whatever dice governs me) make things interesting.

-

[1] The correct terminology isa matter of pointless debate. [2] Charisma and Constitution are obviously my dumb stats. [3] Not sure my meaning is conveyed correctly. I’ll probably nail it down in a future write-up. [4] The group was too large, and after IndigoDie quit there were insufficient participants I knew and was comfortable performing with. [5] Which didn’t get a write-up because I didn’t have anything of substance to say. [6] Which, in the original Pathfinder, was something the each player can evoke for a temporary stat bonus, but in 5e I was going to change to a free Inspiration recharge. [7] Though I would not send them to Last Wall. It would’ve been time for me to spin off to my own stuff, and Last Wall… is not something that needs to be repeated. [8] I’ve never heard an Actual Play where Powered by the Apocalypse wasn’t either a hindrance or irrelevant.

carving your love

⇓ Ship: Incubus!Hoseok x Vampire!Yoongi

⇓ Genre: Fluff, suggestions to smut, Creatures AU

⇓ Summary:  The mortals are throwing a party. A Halloween party. Where they dress up as creatures of the night. But why dress up like them when you can be them? That’s a question that the Bangtan Boys don’t need help answering since they themselves are those things that go bump in the night. But the question that has never dawned any of them was: What would happen if an incubus and vampire were to intermingle?

⇓ Word ct.: 5k

⇓ Warnings: None :)

⇓Prompt:  “I assumed we were both mediocre pumpkin carvers and made a bet saying my pumpkin would be better and you just turned yours around and I’m horrified because you didn’t tell me that you were going to kill it, especially since mine is just our initials and a heart.” (In collaboration with @sunshinebtss ❤)

Masterlist

“I’m not going,” Yoongi said in his famous (or infamous if you will) deadpanned tone to the older man, Seokjin, who was trying to convince him to join him and the rest of the gang to the Halloween party being thrown by the humans not too far away from their place. “We know how the last party went. Why would I waste my time with another incident happening like that again?”

It was a once in a lifetime opportunity. No one would dare throw a party in the most haunted mansion in Seoul. Except for the group of hormonal, ignorant teenagers who didn’t even think twice when persuaded by the shapeshifter Seokjin in hopes that they would fall for it. Thank goodness they were high off their asses when he offered them the deal. Otherwise, it would’ve been just like last year: a solid no.

The last time someone threw a party there, the werewolf Jeongguk took things a little too far. Although it wasn’t his fault for the full moon that just so happened to be on that night, it made his temper skyrocket, making it extremely easy to set off the man with even the slightest thing. Which is exactly what happened. A teenager dressed in a Big Bad Wolf costume called Jeongguk a fake werewolf and that comment ended his life. Ever since then, no one has come back in fear of the werewolf but also the ghost. Fortunately enough though, the only ghost that inhabits the mansion is Taehyung. The other guy was sent to hell for what he’s done during his time on Earth.

So with all this mind, Seokjin couldn’t bear the thought of Yoongi not coming back to the mansion. “Please Yoongi? Jeongguk will be on a tight leash I promise. Jimin can keep him in check or he can go to a spare room and watch anime while the party happens.”

Yoongi cocked an eyebrow as he looked up from his computer to see the pleading Seokjin beg for his appearance at the party. He was currently doing research for a liberal arts assignment for his online university that was due ironically enough on Halloween, AKA tonight. “Is Namjoon going?”

Ah, the man—or rather merman—that stole Seokjin’s heart at first sight. He would go to visit him in the ocean every chance he got, shifting into a merman himself to see him and all he had to offer. Of course, Seokjin never spoke to Namjoon about his true feelings for the merman. Why would he take the chance to ruin the beautiful friendship that he had with him? And so he kept his feelings at bay.

That comment made blood rush to his cheeks, which he shook off and responded, “Yes he is. But so is Hoseok. And you need to be the one who shows him the ropes.”

Yoongi groaned. Hoseok moved from Gwangju to Seoul not that long ago. Taehyung, being the Casper he was, invited him to the party. He thought it would be a great opportunity to meet other creatures like him and befriend them. “What even is that dude anyway?”

“An incubus. I’m assuming you know—”

“Yes, I know what an incubus is.” Yoongi stopped Seokjin from further explaining. The last time he asked Seokjin to explain something, he was met with the most vivid, haunt-inducing, descriptions that he refrained from ever asking Seokjin to ever describe anything for him. It was for anal sex. Something that before Yoongi was curious about until he asked Seokjin about it. Now he feared it more than dying a second time. “But why do I have to be the one that ‘shows him the ropes’?” He used his fingers as quotations marks to emphasize how stupid this situation was.

Seokjin scoffed. “Uh, I hate to be the one to break it to you buddy but you need to work on your social skills. If you didn’t know any of us in your past life then you probably wouldn’t have any friends.”

“Gee, thanks.” Yoongi rolled his eyes. “Why isn’t 5 a sufficient number?”

“Because I said so. Now get your ass up. We’re going to that party whether you like it or not.”

“Spoiler alert: I don’t,” the vampire said with sarcasm dripping in his voice.

Two could play at that game. With Seokjin grabbing Yoongi’s hand to lift him out of the seat, he matched Yoongi’s sarcasm to a T. “Spoiler alert: I don’t give a shit.”

--

Midnight came around pretty quickly. At least for Seokjin. Yoongi on the other hand, dreaded every second of shopping for a stupid costume with his companion. Seokjin got a matching set for him and Namjoon to wear to the party. Yoongi already had an outfit at home, but Seokjin persisted that he upgrade his wardrobe. And so Yoongi put a little effort in dressing up as himself essentially. Or as the human fantasy of a vampire. He got makeup to make his skin paler than the white walls of the mall they went to and black eyeliner to make his eyes stand out. He even got cute purple eye contacts even though his irises naturally turn red. He doesn’t know why mortals think they had purple eyes, but he didn’t have the capacity to ask or care. Maybe Seokjin was right about this whole “antisocial interactions” thing. To put the finishing touches on his look, he got the Dracula costume package. He had to restrain himself from rolling his eyes at how humans depict him.

Despite initially hating the idea of going out to get a new costume, he actually outdid himself. He enjoyed looking at himself through the specially designed mirror that allowed for his vampiric self to show. Seokjin helped him put some red streaks in his jet-black hair. Now he was fully a heartthrob vampire.

The pair walked over to the mansion that was only fifteen minutes away from their cottage in the woods. They didn’t live far from the cave Jeongguk and his 97-line gang slept and were a good walking distance from Namjoon’s ocean—Hence why Seokjin takes every chance he can to see his merman. Jimin and Taehyung lived in the mansion together so that Taehyung had someone to talk to.

“Huh,” Jimin greeted Yoongi at the door with his arms crossed in amazement that he would come. “So Seokjin really did the impossible.”

Yoongi fought the urge to say something smart to the younger demon. “Nice to see you too, Jimin.”

He smirked, enjoying being able to tease Yoongi like this. “How’d he do it?”

“By dragging him out of his self-loathing chair that he never leaves,” Seokjin answered. “Not even when he’s sleeping.”

Jimin giggled and moved out the way to let the two inside. Besides the very real cobwebs, the Halloween decorations were on point. From the plastic pumpkin baskets full of candy at the buffet table to the fog machines placed all around the house. Very spoopy indeed.

There was no mortals insight. Yoongi would’ve smelled them if there were. However, he did get the faint smell of wet dog—

“Yoongi!” He heard his name being called by Jeongguk from the top of the stairs. “You came!”

The vampire was getting irritated with both the demon and now the werewolf not believing he came to this event. “Is it really that big of a deal?”

He heard the echoey sound of Taehyung’s ghostly self lurking around him as he answered his question. “Uh, honestly, yeah. Didn’t think you’d show up, Dracula.”

“Fuck all of you.”

“You mean that?” Jimin asked.

Seokjin immediately shook his head. “Oh, I’d rather not. I’ve seen Yoongi naked too many times to count. Not a pretty sight.”

Yoongi cracked a wicked grin. “Somehow I think it’s for a different reason. A fishy reason.”

The shapeshifter elbowed Yoongi which made Yoongi bite back a laugh. “You aren’t funny.”

“Wasn’t trying to be.”

“Anyways,” Seokjin turned his attention to the very empty mansion. “Where are the humans? They should’ve been here like twenty minutes ago.”

“I think you meant ‘Where’s Namjoon? He should’ve been here like twenty minutes ago.’” Yoongi mumbled to which Seokjin smacked the back of his neck to silence him.

Jimin shrugged. “I don’t know, chief. Maybe when they were sober they realized the mistake they made and—”

Just before Jimin could come up with his grim conclusion, the doorbell rang. A couple of times before Jimin irritatingly rushed over to open it.

With their high off their minds expressions, one human dressed as a Minion greeted Jimin. “Heyyy dude. Is this where the Halloween party is?”

Jimin tried not to look visibly disgusted with the smell of marijuana oozing from their clothes. He couldn’t even believe he agreed to let these creatures into his home. At least last year the only thing the humans did was drink and that’s something Jimin could do all day if he wanted to. He mustered up an eye smile and welcomed the mortals into the haunted house. “Of course! Come on in so we can get this party started!”

Everyone rushed inside while Taehyung got the music going. Seokjin noticed Namjoon the second he stepped into the house. Jimin shook his head as Seokjin passed him to meet the merman and bring him inside, internally agreeing that Seokjin is indeed whipped as cream for Namjoon. Too bad the only people that don’t know they like each other are Seokjin and Namjoon.

That’s more than he could say for his situation though. Although this isn’t how he pictured his date with Jeongguk going, he was more than elated to watch over the young werewolf as he was kept away from society by entertaining himself with video games and anime.

As everyone had something to do or someone to talk to, Yoongi was alone at the kitchen bar, watching from afar. That was until an unfamiliar scent caught his attention. It was intoxicating. He turned his attention to where the smell was coming from and was greeted with what he assumed to be the new incubus in town. Jung Hoseok.

“Mind if I sit here?” His voice was a thing of beauty. He could listen to it all day if Satan would allow it. His features were everything to gawk about. Wearing a stylish police officer costume, it was like he was sculpted by the goddess Aphrodite herself. And that jawline? That could stab him in the heart and he would say thank you.

Yoongi realized that he was staring at him for probably too long so he stuttered over his words. “Uh yeah sure.” Hopefully, he didn’t catch it. That would be so embarrassing.

Wait a second. Since when was Min Yoongi embarrassed? Since the last time he was alive which was about 3,000 years ago. Nowadays it’s been more of secondhand embarrassment with his friends doing something stupid in public. But now? Now he felt… Dare he say he had butterflies in his stomach.

Hoseok took his seat next to the vampire. He could’ve sworn that his heart skipped a beat when he spoke to him. “You don’t wanna mingle with these lowly excuses for humans too huh?”

Despite the comment he made, he still found it funny and chuckled. “I’d rather not, no. Seeing them make a fool out of themselves is my entertainment for the night.”

Hoseok also laughed along with Yoongi. Taehyung watched from the sidelines. Unfortunately, Yoongi sensed the young ghost’s presence. Without looking in the direction of where Taehyung was hiding, he exclaimed his voice to where he could hear it but it wouldn’t draw attention from the humans. “You know, just because you’re called a creep doesn’t mean you have to act like one.”

Taehyung came out of the walls. He snapped his fingers and turned from a ghost to a human. He smiled that famous boxy smile and said, “Sorry. I couldn’t help myself. Do you want any drinks? Jimin had me stock up. Although I can’t help but think it’s for himself for the aftermath of this party…”

“I’m good.”

“Hey, Taehyung!” Hoseok said with a smile as he greeted his first friend he made since he got to Seoul. “I think I’ll have a few shots if you don’t mind.”

Dammit. He probably sounds like that old sober grandpa that you hate sitting next to at family reunions and does nothing but talk your ear off about how this generation is going to shit.

Oh my god. I’m really overthinking it. What the fuck is wrong with me?

While Taehyung made the drinks, Hoseok was the one to keep the conversation between him and Yoongi going. “I’m assuming you’re a vampire, right?”

“Right.”

“Hmm...,” Hoseok studied Yoongi’s features closely and it took everything in Yoongi to not visibly blush with how close this man was to his face. He took a step backed and cocked his head to the side in confusion. “Then why the purple eyes?”

Yoongi took a pregnant pause to go over what he was going to say in his head. He didn’t want to sound stupid. Not yet anyway. “Humans.” Was his simple answer.

“They’re all wasted anyway, I bet you could just take those off and no one would even bat an eye. Eh, but either way you look nice uhh...”

He realized he never told him his name. “Y-Yoongi. Min Yoongi.” He hated the way his voice audibly stuttered.

Hoseok extended his hand for Yoongi to shake. “Jung Hoseok. But I’m pretty sure Taehyung told you that already.”

“Yeah.” Yoongi held onto Hoseok’s hand for probably a tad longer than what the average time length is spent on shaking one’s hand. Regardless, Hoseok either didn’t mind or didn’t notice. And so he kept them there until he broke it off. “I’m actually supposed to be showing you around Seoul.”

“I’ve done my own walk around the neighborhood,” Hoseok joked. “Although, I wouldn’t mind doing it again if you were my tour guide.”

Oh, I can be more than just a tour guide. Just say the words and I’m all yours.

Wait what the fuck?

Stop thinking like that!

As Taehyung placed the drinks on the island bar for Yoongi and Hoseok, the three turned their attention to Seokjin as he got ahold of a microphone. Those two combinations usually never end well. Tonight was no exception for that combination either.

“Attention humans and creatures of the night,” he exclaimed. “We’re about to have a pumpkin carving contest! Whoever is the winner gets the house!”

At hearing this, Taehyung, now visibly reddened with anger, turned back into a ghost and zoomed as fast as he could above the humans’ head to Seokjin. Once he made it he snapped his fingers to turn back into his fleshy self. He pulled Seokjin away from Namjoon and to the kitchen bar. There he went off on the shapeshifter and the decision he made to basically sell his house free of charge. “Are you fucking crazy, Seokjin? This is my house! Not yours! I don’t see you giving away your little cottage to those strangers!”

“Calm down, Taehyu—”

“Calm down? Calm down?!” Taehyung growled as he pushed Seokjin with all his might. “I don’t know about you but Jeongguk’s pack is really mean to me so I can’t go live with them. I can’t breathe underwater so Namjoon’s place is definitely out. Yoongi would honestly kick me out the second I move in. I won’t have any place to go. What about Jimin—”

Before Taehyung could finish his ranting, Seokjin went over to rest his hands on his shoulders. “Relax, Taehyung. I know how much this place means to you.”

“Do you?” Yoongi questioned with just a hint of sarcasm which earned him a delightful giggle from Hoseok.

He didn’t acknowledge the vampire directly, but he did continue with his explanation. “I very much do. Which is why the contestants that are playing are us. Me, Joonie, Hoseok, and Yoongi. The judges are you, Jimin, and Jeongguk. Doesn’t that sound fun?”

Taehyung pouted. He crossed arms and looked down. “Yeah... But you should’ve told me beforehand...”

“Well, that was before I found out there was an entire pumpkin garden outside in the back of the mansion.”

“Wait. For real?”

“Do you—Do you go outside your own place?”

The ghost looked anywhere but in the direction of Seokjin. He mumbled, “No.”

Seokjin shook his head. “Maybe those witches like you after all.”

Taehyung’s face turned into one of utter disgust. “Ugh! Don’t ever bring them up again. I hate those bitches with a passion.”

While Seokjin was laughing (Taehyung was definitely not), Hoseok leaned to Yoongi to whisper, “Who are the witches?”

Yoongi whispered back without stuttering this time. Improvement is key. “Aptly titled ‘The Four Horsewomen of the Apocalypse’. Kim Jisoo, Kim Jennie, Park Chaeyoung, and Lalisa Manoban. They’re the ones that killed Taehyung all those years ago. They gave him a potion that gave him irresistibility since he was going on a date with his girlfriend, Amber. Unfortunately, that potion was actually cyanide. So when the Devil offered him the proposition of making Taehyung into an immortal ghost to haunt the witches, he took the offer. Although he’s been slacking on the haunting part a little. He couldn’t scare anyone even if he tried. He’s too friendly.”

The vampire thought he was speaking too much. If he wasn’t tripping over his own words, he was going off on a tangent. But Hoseok didn’t seem to mind. In fact, Hoseok would love nothing more than to hear the little Dracula in a very different setting...

Hoseok had to suppress his naughty thoughts as they would awaken his own irresistibility powers. It’s been a struggle as he hasn’t had any luck as of recently. His recent partners were all weak humans with little to no power for Hoseok’s inner sexual demon to feed on. Meaning that his demon was all for taking his lovely vampire to his house. But the little humanity Hoseok had left wanted to honestly win him over without using his incubus powers.

If only he knew how well it was working.

They stared at each other for what seemed like forever, getting lost in each other’s eyes. It wasn’t until Seokjin snapped his fingers in front of them to avert their attention from one another to Seokjin’s waiting stance. Arms crossed, tapping his feet impatiently. “If you two lovebirds are done with the cringe lovey-dovey ogling, we have a pumpkin carving contest to win.”

They both blushed, but Yoongi’s was more noticeable with his paler-than-average skin tone due to the makeup. Hoseok wanted to comment on it and call him cute. But he, along with Yoongi, was swept away from their seats to the cleared out buffet table that was replaced with four pumpkins equally spread apart and carving utensils.

Jimin and Jeongguk were brought downstairs by Namjoon. Jimin hated that their “date” was cut short while Jeongguk was thrilled to be invited to join the party albeit to judge a pumpkin carving contest. Taehyung situated himself in between the duo. They all sat at another table directly in front of the buffet table. The humans all sat on opposite ends of the tables, waiting for the battle to begin.

Hoseok once again leaned down to whisper to Yoongi, “Bet I can beat your pumpkin carving.”

Yoongi scoffed, “Challenge accepted.”

“Alright,” Jimin started.

“On your mark,” Jeongguk continued.

“Get set,” Taehyung added.

“Go!” The trio said at the same time. Telepathy had its perks.

The creatures went to work on their pumpkins. Humans left and right was screaming out who was gonna win. So far the majority of the crowd shouted that the sexy part-time police officer full-time incubus was gonna win. Although that was probably because he was emitting some of his lascivious powers to attract the crowd to help him win. He wasn’t trying to. But he’s so goddamn hungry that it’s getting harder to suppress his demonic urges.

Then again, it wasn’t to show off. He could care less if he were to win with or without having an unfair advantage. It was to impress Yoongi. Maybe winning the contest would also earn him at least one night with this vampire. That’s all he wants. But his heart wants more than just one night. It needs the rest of their immortal lives.

“Five-minute warning!” Jimin shouted above the very loud crowd of annoying humans. Oh, how he was going to enjoy having drink upon drink when this is all over.

Yoongi was already done with his creation. It didn’t take long to decide what he was going to carve. His otherwise cold heart actually felt warm for once. It skipped beats. It felt like he was alive again. Like he had a reason for living. And it was all because of the incubus standing right beside him. He couldn’t help passing a goofy grin to Hoseok. Hoseok could feel Yoongi staring at him, and as much as he would love to return the favor, he had a vampire’s heart (and also contest but that came second) to win.

Five minutes passed like a blur. It felt more like five seconds for Hoseok. Fortunately, he did manage to finish his carving just in time.

“Judging time~” Taehyung sang happily. It was almost as if he was all for this idea although he was the main one throwing a fit about it fifteen minutes ago. “Each of you has to explain what you carved. Once everyone is done we’ll tally up the votes and announce the winner. Cool?”

The contestants all nodded and Jeongguk spoke. “Alright. Joonie first.”

The audience went silent as the merman explained his carving. The amount of detail a man can carve into a pumpkin was telling. “So I drew inspiration from the wonderful sea and all it has to offer. From the different fishies I carved here”—he pointed to each tiny fish as he spoke—“to the seaweed and then of course in the middle is my sandcastle that me and my family live and rule the sea.” He gave a dimpled smile to signify that he was done with his explanation. Everyone was in awe as they clapped their hands during Namjoon’s gentlemanly bow.

Next was Hoseok. He took a deep breath, careful to say the right words to win this contest. He had to get Yoongi out of his mind which was nearly impossible. But somehow he was able to do the impossible. “Okay so, I carved my home, Gwangju. It’s a trail that I used to walk on. The path was so beautiful, especially during spring. The cherry blossoms in full bloom and petals falling down into the lake. I would sit down on this red bench just to clear my mind.”

Now while his words depicted what he had in mind, his carving clearly didn’t support what he was saying the slightest. It was as if a kindergartner was given a knife, told it was a crayon, and to color the pumpkin. But the audience didn’t care. No one cared. Welcome to seducing your victims taught by your local incubus, Jung Hoseok. They still cheered him on.

Oddly enough, his powers didn’t work on the immortal creatures, especially Yoongi who couldn’t hold back the pure laughter that escaped his system as the crowd really bought that half-assed job.

After Yoongi finished laughing (AKA Seokjin kicked his knee to shut him up), Seokjin explained his masterpiece, if you could call it that. “What you see in front of you is a beautifully designed man. He is godly and should be treated as such. I call this ‘Worldwide Handsome’.”

With every contestant, it seemed like Yoongi’s chances of winning were slim. Except for Seokjin and maybe Hoseok if he turned his powers off.

While the art of seduction worked for Hoseok, it didn’t work for Seokjin. Instead, it earned him mockery from everyone excluded Namjoon who comforted him while everyone laughed at his own ego.

“Oh my god, Seokjin!” Taehyung laughed uncontrollably. “You couldn’t even bother carving Namjoon’s face?! It just had to be yours?!”

Seokjin was flushed. His ego had never been more damaged than now.  

Amongst the chaos, Hoseok asked Yoongi what he carved into his pumpkin.

Yoongi complied and turned his pumpkin to Hoseok, giving him his explanation. “I assumed we were both mediocre pumpkin carvers and made a bet saying my pumpkin would be better and you just turned yours around and I’m horrified because you didn’t tell me that you were going to kill it, especially since mine is just our initials and a heart.”

“I—”

Yoongi blushed visibly. He attempted to put away his pumpkin “I-I’m sorry. I just—”

“No, no.” Hoseok stopped Yoongi from putting his pumpkin away by covering his hands in his own. “It’s beautiful. I didn’t know you felt that way.”

I didn’t know I could feel until you came into my life.

He kept that part to himself. But he did smile as he felt the warmth of Hoseok’s hands over his own. He loved that feeling and would love nothing more than to have that every day for the rest of eternity.

“I think I love you, Hoseok.”

Hoseok returned the smile back to him. “I know I love you, Yoongi.”

Jimin cleared his throat audibly so as to gain the attention of the pair who haven’t been able to pay anyone else attention than themselves. It did do the job as they unlocked hands and gave their undivided attention to the demon.

Jimin looked down at Yoongi’s pumpkin, then Yoongi, then the pumpkin again. Then he shot the vampire with a telepathic thought. Do you want yours to be included?

Yoongi shrugged but then shook his head. It was made for him. I could care less about the contest. Just make Seokjin the winner if you don’t mind. I really don’t wanna hear how pissed he was that everyone laughed at him tonight.

Jimin raised a haughty eyebrow. So you aren’t going back with the incubus? Odd.

Shut it, Park.

Did I press a button?

He rolled his eyes as Jimin went over to Hoseok’s pumpkin to give it one more look over. It took everything in him to not crack a smirk. He really did fuck that pumpkin’s shit up entirely. Satan curse this child.

“Aaand the winner is,” Taehyung began.

Jeongguk shouted with a smile as bright as the sun and as cute as a bunny, “Kim Seokjin!”

While the crowd was shouting that Hoseok or Namjoon should’ve won, Seokjin took it as an opportunity to tell them to suck it. “I won idiots! Get over it losers!” He blew raspberries at his haters. He could have their heads served on a platter but they didn’t deserve such a swift death.

Namjoon congratulated his destined counterpart with a bearhug. “My family is throwing a party tonight. It’d be great if you could make it. That way I have a familiar face that isn’t my family around. Plus you always manage to make it interesting.”

Seokjin blushed. “O-oh… Okay then. I’d like that.”

Namjoon flashed him a smile and Seokjin returned the gesture. “Glad to hear it.”

Jimin nudged Seokjin’s arm suggestively. “Looks like you got yourself a date huh? I’m proud of you.”

“Don’t push it.”

“You are no fun at all, you know that?” Jimin pouted. “Learn to lighten up.”

“Learn to follow your own advice,” Seokjin said, nodding his head over to Jeongguk. “There’s literally nothing that could go wrong.”

“Uhh, you’re absolutely wrong about that chief. Literally, everything could go wrong. What if I say the wrong thing. Or mayhaps—”

“Thanks for watching over me today,” Jeongguk said to Jimin. He snuck his way over to the two while they were blabbering on. With a hand scratching at the back of his neck, he continued. “I know I can be a handful. But you play games better than I do. I admire that… Anyways, the gang is out tonight for feasting and that means I have no one to play games—”

“I’ll play with you.”

Kinky.

Get the fuck out of my head, Seokjin.

Jeongguk was taken aback by the sudden response. He didn’t know he already knew what he was going to say without him even getting the full thought out. Regardless, he smirked. “Cool. Ready to go now?”

Jimin turned to his ghostly best friend. “You’ll watch over the house while I’m out?”

“You got it!” Taehyung smiled. “By the way, did you know we have a pumpkin garden in the backyard?”

Jimin was confused at hearing this. But then it all came together. He enclosed his face with his hand as he shook his head in disappointment. “The witches must’ve put them there. Hopefully, they aren’t—”

And just before he could finish, humans left and right started dying. They had bitten off the delectably poisonous pumpkins from the contest and they paid with their lives. Hopefully, Jimin’ll see most of them in hell. Satan knows they deserve it.

“Poisonous. Goddammit. Now I have to clean the house and these disgusting bodies. Can this night get any worse?”

Jeongguk was about to say something, but Jimin silenced him before he could. “Don’t answer that. Just—take me away from here before I honestly blow a fucking gasket.”

“You got it.” Jeongguk swept Jimin off his feet and placed him on his back, transforming from human to werewolf and taking off with his super-speed back to his cave.

“We should be heading too don’t you think?” Seokjin persuaded. Namjoon nodded and they left Taehyung alone to at least try to clean up the mess.

And what of our happily in love incubus and vampire duo?

Well, as the ruckus was going on inside the mansion, Hoseok and Yoongi took their business elsewhere outside the mansion. To the pumpkin garden in fact. They sat down on a bench and kissed the night away with their hands ever intertwined.

Thank goodness they didn’t eat the pumpkins. That would’ve been two more bodies for Taehyung to not clean up.

fandom: MCU (post-CW, post-IW) ship: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark tags: Fluff and Humor, Crack Treated Seriously, Human Disaster Tony Stark

As most of Tony’s mistakes, it starts out when he’s drunk.

He’s drunk because of Steve. Because Steve is back now, apparently for good. He and his merry band of fugitives have been pardoned, the Accords are under revision, and he and Tony have made up. Truly, honestly made up. Few things put pointless fights in perspective like a Mad Titan knocking on your planet’s door.

So Tony and Steve are not mad at each other anymore. They’re speaking normally. All things considered, they’re fine.

That’s why Tony’s drunk. He’s drunk because Steve is back, and they’re fine, and that’s apparently all they’ll ever be. He’s drunk because Steve hasn’t moved back to the compound, instead settling into some shitty apartment in Brooklyn, and whenever he comes around for training or to work on Avengers business, he and Tony greet each other and make small talk about the weather and that’s it.

He’s drunk because he’s an idiot. Because he was hoping that, once he and Steve have made up, things between them could… be different, maybe. He was hoping they’d understand each other better. He was hoping he’d be able to look into Steve’s eyes and say something that wasn’t a snarky comment—hell, he was hoping he’d be able to ask Steve out for lunch or something, in between U.N. meetings. He was hoping they’d see each other more, and spend more time together, and…

It would be easier.

He and Steve are fine, but fine is not enough.

Therefore: alcohol.

Truth be told, the problem doesn’t really start because he’s drunk. It starts because he’s alone in his workshop, navigating through panels and archives aimlessly, and he runs into Vision’s latest The Sims file.

Vision has been into The Sims for years now. At first Tony thought it was hilarious, but Vision defended it earnestly, arguing it gives him good insight into human interactions. Tony had exchanged a meaningful look with Rhodey at the thought that Vision viewed The Sims as an accurate portrayal of human interactions, they shrugged, and now Vision is just into the game. Vision makes a lot of mods and shares them on the internet, and it’s a bit of a hit. Tony is pretty sure there are downloadable copies of the Avengers compound online, ready to be built in game.

Tony, on the other hand, hasn’t played The Sims for even a minute. He’s never been huge with simulation games—he either gets out of control with getting everything perfect or burns everything down in flames, no in between.

But The Sims 2 is, after all, a classic.

When the game starts loading, a corner of his brain (the same corner that constantly gives him great advice like buy Pepper a giant bunny or a suit of armor around the world, yeah, that’s going to work) wonders if Vision made models of them. Them, as in, the Avengers.

Then the same corner of his brain jumps to wondering if there are models of them, as in, Tony and Steve.

That’s where it gets messy.

As it turns out, Vision did make models of the two of them, but Tony chooses not to use them, because a) Viz gave Steve a beard, and Tony hates that fucking beard, he nearly started dancing in the middle of a conference room when Steve walked into the U.N. clean-shaved; and b) those pants he gave Tony to wear? Really, Viz? No way.

So he makes his own models. Or, fine, let’s just call it what it is, his own family. He makes himself and he makes Steve, and then he thinks making just the two of them is too creepy so he makes a dog, which, coming to think of it, doesn’t really help the newly-weds vibe, but okay.

He gives himself Knowledge aspiration, and after much thought he gives Family to Steve, because Justice For All is not an aspiration and he needs to pick something. He makes himself want to be a mechanic, and he gets Steve into law enforcement, because the lifetime goal Become Captain Hero is too appropriate to resist.

He names the dog Friday, which makes actual Friday lock up the liquor cabinet, saying I think you’ve had enough for tonight, Boss.

He does not start out the game with him and Steve in a relationship, but when he begins playing, all the immediate wishes of Sim Tony are about Steve. Talking to Steve, playing games with Steve, telling Steve a joke. Typical.

Then he clicks on Steve’s wishes, and there it is: Talking to Tony, playing games with Tony, laughing at Tony’s joke.

He clicks on Sim Steve, then clicks on Sim Tony, and sets Sim Steve to “Talk to Tony”.

And so they talk.

If only it were this easy, Tony thinks, clinging to his glass.

The next day, when Steve drops by to train Peter, Tony almost chokes on his coffee out of guilt.

Steve lays one strong, warm hand on his back, looking at him with worried blue eyes. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah,” Tony coughs, managing to swallow another sip. He doesn’t meet Steve’s eyes. “Just, uh, didn’t sleep much last night. Might’ve drifted off while drinking. Hardly the first time that ever happened.”

“Oh,” Steve says, scrutinizing Tony with his gaze. Tony tries his best to not let I made simulated versions of you and me in my computer and I think they’re falling in love show in his expression. “You can’t keep doing this, Tony. It’s not healthy.” And Tony can hear the scowl in his voice, the disapproval. “What if we had a mission?”

The judgment on his face sparks annoyance in Tony’s chest, and he immediately slips away from Steve's touch. “None of your business, Cap.”

Steve’s face shows a glimpse of hurt before closing in an annoyed expression, and Tony turns away and leaves.

When Tony gets back to his lab, he wants to let that anger out. Because who is Steve to touch Tony’s back with that gentle warm hand and stare at him with those blue eyes as he judges Tony’s sleeping habits? No one, that’s who. They’re barely even friends and there Steve is, trying to give him orders, acting like he cares when it's only a moral obligation that makes him worry about whether Tony was sleeping enough or not.

Tony turns on the game. His plan is to build a pool, make Sim Steve go swim, remove the stairs, and then watch as he drowns.

The plan fails, though. Firstly because he gets too distracted building the pool (building stuff is the best aspect of the game, in Tony’s opinion – he, Steve and Friday have the best house of the entire neighborhood), and secondly because, when Sim Steve starts to want to get out of the pool and there are no stairs, Tony can’t help but feel like shit. He can’t do it. Even a bunch of pixels with Steve’s name is enough to make him weak.

So, when Death comes to pick Sim Steve up, Tony sends Sim Tony to bargain with her. He wins, of course, but he was prepared to hack the entire game if he didn’t.

Then Sim Steve comes to thank Sim Tony, and they start talking again, and – okay, it’s a mechanic of the game that sims of the same group will have wishes about each other, Tony gets it, but it still tugs his heartstrings when he sees the line up of Sim Steve’s wishes. It goes: thank Tony, hug Tony, shake Tony’s hand, learn how to make pancakes.

The last one has the positive effect of reminding Tony that this is still a fucking video game, and he’s making starry eyes because a version of Steve he made up likes him.

There’s pathetic, and there’s the level he’s at right now, which Tony suspects is an entirely new category of depressing.

Still, he clicks on Sim Tony, and the wishes are pretty much the same (including the one about pancakes, which reminds Tony he hasn’t taught either of them to cook anything yet, so they’ve been living off cereal and juice boxes). There’s just one difference: In the place where Sim Steve had Thank Tony as a wish, Sim Tony has kiss Steve.

Tony very determinedly breaks the Sims apart and sends them both to read culinary books. He will not go there.

But… It keeps happening. He puts the game on ultra speed and every time he leaves Sim Tony without a command, he wants to do something with Sim Steve; and vice-versa. Sim Steve goes to sleep and a balloon thought with Sim Tony’s face pops up over his head. Tony gets distracted for a moment and they just start dancing together in the living room, to the sound of Bonito.

Tony considers breaking them apart again, but… they look so happy.

And besides, there’s nothing wrong with fulfilling the Sims’ wishes, right? That’s just the goal of the game, after all.

So Tony lets them dance. And when they finish, he makes them talk. And they talk and tell each other jokes and hug each other over and over again until the romantic options show up, and then both of their wishes bars are filled with each other.

Tony makes them flirt – Sim Tony gives Sim Steve a rose, Sim Steve writes a serenade for Sim Tony, and Sim Tony tells Sim Steve a dirty joke. Tony makes them repeat that ad nauseum, even after the “have first kiss with Steve” action appears, because he’s not risking getting rejected in a video game, thank you very much. He makes sure they’re at 100/100 on the relationship bar, and then makes them kiss.

There’s cheesy music, silly animation and little hearts floating everywhere. They kiss some more, and then Sim Steve gets the wish to “Have a serious relationship”, which Tony locks for later (because holy shit, Sim Steve, take it easy, buddy). Then Sim Tony gets the same wish, and that’s when Tony decides that’s enough gaming for the night. He makes the happy couple watch TV and cuddle together, pointedly ignores the balloon thought with the “Woo-hoo” symbol that appears over Sim Tony’s head, and goes to sleep.

read the rest on ao3!

THEY’RE GONNA WRECK IT: A “Ralph Breaks The Internet” Review

I don’t know that I ever would have told you that the original “Wreck-it Ralph”, one of the more pleasant surprises of post-Pixar-merger Disney, “needed” a sequel; the original’s story was compelling and complete enough on its own.  But the characters were so much fun to spend time with and the world felt so intrinsically interesting that it also seemed like a prime candidate to give a sequel to anyway.  And to its credit “Ralph Breaks The Internet” starts from a premise clearly designed to keep it from simply being a needless retread of the original, trading the halls of an old Arcade for the world wide web.  Unfortunately, the resulting film, while not exactly a TOTAL wash, also feels like it’s learned all the wrong lessons from its predecessor, taking an anted-up version of the first movie’s playful Video Game in-jokes that were there a mere garnish and here turning them into an inescapable aspect of the entire story that severely compromises its narrative integrity.

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Said narrative picks up six years after the events of the original, with Ralph happy as can be with his lot in life nowadays: thanks to his friendship with “Sugar Rush” superstar Vanellope Von Schweetz, he’s more than content to just do his job and hang out with her goofing off all night.  Vanellope, however, feels increasingly constrained by the repetitive limits of her closed-off racing world, leading Ralph to try and give her a new surprise or two to cheer her up; unfortunately that just leads to "Sugar Rush” getting broken.  Ralph and Vanellope thus decide to venture into the arcade’s newly connected Wi-Fi system to reach The Internet in hopes of finding the part necessary to fix the game before it’s permanently unplugged.  

Which kind of sounds like a bit of an overcooked premise, and indeed the number of contrivances the movie throws at you more or less right out the gate to get to where it wants to go speaks to the problem at the heart of the whole thing, but to start things out on a relatively positive note: Ralph and Vanellope remain a great pair of characters, and if nothing else the opening few minutes of the movie honestly do make for a pleasant little coda to the first movie.  More to the point, there actually IS something admirable about how this movie chooses to dig into how their characters have changed and where they stand:  now that he has an anchor of affirmation in Vanellope, Ralph is able to find acceptance and fulfillment in the same places he once felt rejected by...but once that anchor is threatened (as it is when Vanellope finds herself increasingly attracted to the idea of staying online in the wild and unpredictable world of an online racer called “Slaughter Race”), all of his old insecurities begin to surface.  Meanwhile the same drive to strive for something greater that drove Vanellope in the first movie has now begun to slowly but surely push her out of “Sugar Rush”; this one’s a bit shakier (and the movie fumbles it pretty much completely in the execution but we’ll get to that) but you really can see the emotional logic it works on in a way that adds up, especially because the movie genuinely has the courage of its convictions and chooses to pursue it to its most logical conclusion rather than try to hedge its bets or chicken out at the last minute.  

As well, basically all of the new characters work.  The obvious highlight is Gal Gadot as Shank, the Boss Character of “Slaughter Race”; even as her presence in the movie overall is surprisingly limited given her importance to the main emotional arc that (eventually) reveals itself as the heart of the story, she is nonetheless an immediately enjoyable presence, at once tough as nails and On The Edge (one of the movie’s better sight gags is how the world of “Slaughter Race” is bathed in the reds and browns that dominated Video Games for most of the mid-00′s and Shank feels right at home in that tone) but also a caring figure who looks at her job with a genuine sense of Duty and Honor.  Likewise Taraji P. Henson’s Yesss is delightful, a beaming bouncing presence whose constantly-changing look is a consistent delight (and who may have the most enjoyably subtle details of animation of any character in the movie with the way her coat lights up whenever she gets excited being a personal favorite).  But even minor characters like the Search Engine curator Knowsmore (our now-traditional Alan Tudyk role) and Bill Hader’s J.P. Spamley are genuinely fun new additions to the overall cast.  You do find yourself wishing they could maybe get a bit more screen time or else be better integrated into the overall story, but even so I really liked just about all of them and they do a lot to buoy the whole thing.

Unfortunately none of them, nor the movie’s clever-if-not-especially-original conception of what “The Internet” would mean to this kind of world (my personal favorite touch might be portraying pop-up ads as old-school Newsies), can really add up to much in the face of the larger problem here.  See, even though they’re a relatively minor presence in the overall movie, the original “Wreck-it Ralph” hyped up the presence of its various Video Game character cameos (many of whom return here), and the attendant in-jokes that came with them.  “Ralph Breaks The Internet” apparently seems to have the mistaken belief that it was this wink-wink nudge-nudge meta-humor at the original’s margins that was in fact the key to its success and thus, using The Internet as a launching pad to broaden its range of targets, has made that element much, much more prominent this time around.  Sometimes that does make for amusing gags; the extended (and heavily-touted) scene where Vanellope meets the other Disney Princesses is indeed a particular highlight, and the one sequence where the movie comes even remotely close with reconciling its desire to indulge in fairly tired meta-textual snark with actually trying to tell any sort of real story.  Far more often we have to deal with things like how a joke about Ralph making the age-old mistake of reading the comments stands in for any kind of actual attempt to show how his old anxieties are resurfacing (in a moment that fails to land almost completely; it is honestly impossible to tell while watching it how seriously the movie expects us to take it), or even more frustrating how Vanellope’s realization that she wants to stay in “Slaughter Race” is told to us through an incredibly ineffectual and far too self-aware parody of the old Disney-style “I Want” song.  That Vanellope would in fact choose to leave Sugar Rush behind is already the biggest buy-in the movie asks us to make of its characters, so that failed short-cut proves especially harmful to the overall arc here.  It all leads to a finale that feels like it could, indeed even should, work for how frankly it chooses to tackle the underlying emotional problems at the heart of the story, but it ultimately can’t because the movie just flat-out has not done the work to really earn it.

There are other smaller problems as well; Fix-it Felix and Calhoun, the primary side-characters from the first film, are here given what feels like it should be the lead-in to an enjoyable and inspired B-story of their own but instead wind up being nothing more than glorified cameos.  I’m also not super fond of how the movie actively begs the audience to question the logical nature of its world and characters as often (and seemingly without much thought) as it does.  But the real fundamental issue here is that “Ralph Breaks The Internet” just plain cannot square its two competing impulses; the desire to actually try and tell a story that meaningfully expands on the original’s characters in some genuinely-daring ways is ultimately undone by the far-stronger drive to weigh it all down beneath a lot of knowing referential humor that feels far less relevant and insightful than the writers think it is.  There really is something good deep in the heart of all of this, but, sad as it is to say, it basically gets wrecked this time around.

If two ride on a horse, one must ride behind

PI 03/08/2019

Your name is Pembrooke Ingleton and by the bequest of the equestrian sort, you're on your way to the Church of the Mirthful in the hopes of seeing if any of the goers there have any insight to the whereabouts of one Gamzee Makara.  The friendly baker, who you really do hope nothing bad has befallen him.    Which is likely why you offered to be the one to speak to the Baron.

Admittedly you are a bit worried about your backup. Not out of anything personal. Just that well, the Baron certainly had a sway of his own when it came to your troll inclined officers.    And you haven't had much a chance to see Darkleer in action on the field.

Still, Redglare has full confidence in him so you stand by her, and as you make your way up to the churches door...you are standing by him as you knock. Or ring a bell. Or honk something. Whatever this church has for their door alerting of guests device.  Not that you're really too concerned...the way you feel watched gives you the impression he likely was alerted to your approach before you made it up the steps.  Also gives you the heebie jeebies.

Creepy creep clowns.

GHB 03/08/2019

Sam was notified when they were about two blocks out. The clown had been...restless. His hier hadn't come to church, hadn't spoken online. For some time...

Others of the church suspected foul play. Sam suspected a bender. Which happens to the young ones, here and there. But.

But.

There had been other dissaperances too. Other derse borns who had come. That do not any longer. If it is a Challenger in his own ranks, he would accept it. But the sneaky sneak of slipping away doesn't sit well.

Silently the churchlings had begun a recovery mission earlier in the week, finding little. But still they search.

Azriphale opens the doors, eyes Byzantine bright purple as he assesses the visitor. He recognizes the inspector ...less so his tall companion. But he has suspicion.

Wordlessly he turns from the door, beckoning them in.

There's prayer, quiet and whispered that feels like it's coming from nowhere and everywhere, candles and inscense rising and guttering with the sound rhythmically. The walls are painted...in paint. Maybe blood, the tang of it heavy in the air. Skulls and bones tinkle in chimes, crunch underfoot...

Then they hear the growls, rattling the windows, echoing off the walls. The throne was empty, but bright eyes flashing purple hung in the shadows of the rafters. Sam's voice sounded like an angry tiger trying to speak, wrath tinging his words.

"Why is you desecrating my sanctum, Expatriate." They can hear claws scratching on wood, but can't see it, fear wreathing around them.

Darkleer 03/08/2019

You've been uneasy since the moment you heard 'clown church'. Purple bloods on Derse you could deal with. Even with the Makara heir, the very same that went missing now. But to know that they dragged their whole faith here... You have a lot of thoughts, and none of them positive. Most of all though, you're concerned about the influence they may have on this city.

But you don't back down from the assignment. After all you want to prove your capability for this job. And you don't want to let this puny human your boss walk right into the clown's den alone and unprotected.

You follow Lt. Ingleton, as quiet and stoic as the Zahhaks tend to do, and you follow inside when the clowns invite you. When you left Alternia, the inside of a clown church is the last thing you ever expected to see again. And the stench.. you're far too familiar with the smell of troll blood. How can this even be tolerated on Derse?

You can hear him before you see him, a still far too familiar voice. The Grand Highblood. That, in their language, motherfucker. Of COURSE he'd be here. Your concern for the planet just increased tenfold.

You don't flinch. Even with his overdramatic greeting, he doesn't scare you. The mind games his ilk can do are not a concern. You have fiddled with your brain long enough so that no one else could. And gone are the times where he is part of the royal caste you have to bow to. He doesn't have power over you, not anymore.

You have a healthy amount of respect, sure. He's still a dangerous individual. But you're more concerned for your company than yourself.

A displeased puff escapes you. You wanted to leave the talking to the Lieutenant, but that ass decided to adress you personally. Oh, how you want to tell him there's nothing sacred to be found in these halls. No, you're on duty and in fact not here to pick a fight with the second-biggest tyrant of old Alternia.

"We are investigating the missing report of a purple blood, Gamzee Makara" you state factually.

PI 03/09/2019

Oh.  There's that sensation again, as you feel your heart start to race and a shivver go up your spine.  The Baron certainly had...something about him didn't he.  Sort of an aura that certainly instilled a fight or flight into a person.    Cold and bone chilling indeed.

You inhale slowly, and exhale as well.  Logically, you know this is an unnatural sensation...but not that it really helps in regards to lowering the emotional hackles that are now raised and screaming in your nerves.

If there was a history between these two, you'll get to that later.  For now, you inhale again and nod as you refocus on the task at hand.  "Indeed.  According to close friends, he has vanished and in a manner unlike himself.  Officer Darkleer and I were tasked to come by to see if you could ask a few questions about when you saw him last."

Glancing up at the rafters, you frown ever so slightly as you briefly recall the last time you were in this building during the whole Trickster fiasco...

"If you would prefer an interview off church grounds, we'd be happy to oblige."

GHB 03/10/2019

He bloody well should be uncomfortable with the clown church. The bright eyes extinguish over the throne, and the fear dissipates. There's silence for a few moments, save the chanting of the Mirthful themselves, ever in crescendo or diminuendo in strange, dysphonic  patterns.  Sam is moving silently in the rafters, considering how to respond...

He's an asshole, choosing to drop just behind them -Out of reach with the Expatriate- with a Blazing Fear designed to shock and cower.  They only hear the softest of footpad falls when his feet connect to the ground, as he stands his full regal height of...not taller than Margrave... Shirtless, polkadotted pants neat andd trim,, but bones and beads threaded together in necklaces and bracelets. Blood maybe crusted under his claws. The glow of his eyes is enough to cast a shadow of the two over the throne. Paint crisp and terrifying as ever.

Sameadi bares his teeth, snarling. "And you bring an ingrate to my church. I am being thankful of the offer, Inspector...but you is already here." Perhaps there's enough to strip the calf from the herd, bring him to his rightful motherfuckin slaughter. He sizes them up out of habit...the only back exit is a hidden door--perhaps perhaps. Give it time, old man. He'll finally reign himself in-giving the impression of instability is always useful.

"You investigate but do not give information, Darkleer. Your report is motherfuckin incomplete, yo work below par. Motherfuckin expected of a traitor and coward." ...Okay he can't help but instigate a bit. Ooops~ A sneer is directed breifly at Darkleer as he turns his attentions to Ingleton.

"We is take care of our own, brother. I is appreciating of yo offers, but our people are our people. Iffen you find them before we does--perhaps it be better for they." He lets that sink in as he pauses. "But We's been searchin fo th boy, being finding little  as of yet. His scent been grown dark and cold. There is been others. An I is motherfuckin disappointed you ain't been made th connection. Derse borns not of th church, but come and praise. Gone an missin. Or gone an returned by fire. Do you think not we want vengeance an justice?" His wrath is ticking up juuust a bit.

Darkleer 03/11/2019

He finally deigns to come down. A wave of something washes over you and tickles something in the back of his head. His vile magic doesn't affect you, but you're aware what he's trying. Curse him.

You turn around towards him, making a small step to the side to position yourself between the Baron and the Lieutenant who is probably not as unaffected. While you try to make yourself as small as possible around everyone else, being faced by him, you straighten your back to reach your full height. Taller than him, you'll have him know. Not by much, admittedly, but the point is being made.

You try to keep the thoughts running through your mind low and listen to hi- Incomplete. Did he just. Hr. You huff. He may call you all kinds of names, but to call your work inadequate. No, of course you don't bring information, you have none yet. You came here to get some you have JUST started the work. He ought to know this. How DARE- Hhh.

You choke down so many unnecessary angry retorts and chastise yourself for lowkey wishing to find the heir dead. For all you know, the boy may not actually deserve that.

He doesn't know anything and even if he did, he wouldn't tell you, the Baron made that much clear. "He is not to be found under this roof" you state, for the Lieutenant, most of all, but also as the probably most single weakest jab you could make at the Baron.

Though, the remark about the Derse born. Your ear flicks when he mentions that. That may be a thing worth investigating. "You have no right to take justice into your hands. Not on this planet. You need to desist from action." You're aware what kind of vengeance purplebloods are out for. He won't stop, you know. Part of you hopes. A reason to bring him down for good.

PI 03/11/2019

Despite your frame and average jitters, you aren't what would be defined as weak-willed.  One really can't be in this line of work where you're at.   But, that doesn't necessarily make you immune to emotion, even when you know something is amiss. And even if you're not cowering, the wave is enough to cause you to find yourself unable to breathe as your legs lock up, freezing you in place as you try to regain your breath.

Inwardly you are thankful for Darkleer stepping in front.  Outwardly, you're slowly replacing the pale shock with an agitated expression.  You are indeed well aware of the burned bodies, half the reason you came here personally is because you had a hunch perhaps there was a connection.

"That is the problem with making a connection, sir.  When people don't take the time to inform us people have gone missing because they're too busy trying to handle it themselves...lo and behold we miss a detail.  It would have been nice to know there had been others vanishing, versus discovering this fact after so many others had gone missing."  Your stance straightens as you straighten your coat, breathing returned to normal.  "We came here to help, so your aggressive posturing and....whatever it is you are doing...is rude.  And the implications of vigilantism is noted."

Your nerves are screaming, but you stand ground since you all know if you two were to vanish right here and now that it would be a mess that the Baron and ultimately the Crew would not want to deal with. Especially on a cusp of a gangwar brewing.

"Is there any other connections than Derse born?  How is someone able to differentiate a Derse born member of your church from offworld?"

GHB 03/11/2019

That doesn't mean that Sammy isn't thinking on it mightily. His scelera flash red briefly, a low grumbling snarl under his breath.

That puny human is fodder. Darkleer is. Again. On the wrong side. How frustrating. Sam tilts his head to the side, a too wide smile draping over his face lazily.

"S all bout presentation, brother inspector. " He steps around them easily, a sashaying stride back to the throne.

"An you is dismissed, Darkleer. 'd rightly prefer speakin at yo superior." His wave is as condescending as his tone >

But at least he's focusing on the Inspector alone. For now. Darkleer is going to be noted and dealt with later, if his scathing expression relates anything.

"It ain't uncommon fo those who ain't been grown in th church to come an go 's they please." His voice takes a wounded tone when he looks over the inspector. "Were I knowing earlier I woulda said sommat earlier. It were part of us lookin this here week, so's sommat coul be said 't all." If he had had his way, he'd merely point him at the corpses of the desceased and say they came to an unfortunate end.

His head rests on his palm, watching the two of them intently. "Cain't rightly say. Sometides they ain't wear th paint an protection. Th gods cain't see they wi'out 't. Were there of the church bretheren missin I woulda raised th alarm 't a mo punctual tide t yo likin. We is tight knit, we is alway on guard." We're always ready to kill is unsaid.

Darkleer 03/11/2019

Your gaze stays fixed on him as he walks past the two of them. Nothing about his attitude and unnecessary pompous act has changed. The only thing that has changed is that you don't need to bow to him anymore. And yet..

"You are not the one dismissing me" you reply with a snarl. If the Inspector wants you to leave, you will. But it wouldn't sit well with you to leave anyone alone in this place.

PI 03/11/2019

This marks the second time the Baron has pulled rank on of your officers in front of you.  Well, in this instance tried to.  God...damnit you swear the powerful players of this city are singlehandedly having a contest amongst themselves of who can dance the longest on your last nerve with their flaunting.

You inhale.

Despite your utmost desire, you will not poke this bear.  It's tempting to, there's certainly a few choice words and barbed sentences you could respond with...but you have a job to do.  A job where someone's life is potentially at stake.

You exhale, and put a soft step on your bubbling pride internally.

"I see." you say, acknowleding Darkleers comment but choosing to ignore outright as you stay on task.  Though you mentally note to have a talk with all your blue blooded officers later.  Turning to the Baron you continue.  "A list of names of those missing would be appreciated, as well as the names of any deceased.  We may be able to uncover an unexpected link your own have missed in our teams."

Folding your arms, you give him a somber expression.  "We all want to get to the bottom of this, and save those gone missing.  Find out those responsible.  The more hurdles set up, the longer it takes, and the higher the odds of Mister Gamzee being the next body found increases."

You've already prepared for him to refuse or to continue his focus on Darkleer, which is fine.  You've gotten enough information from this meeting as is.

GHB 03/12/2019

Sam has a smug smile on his face as Darkleer is summarily dismissed regardless. The foal could pretend Sam didn't have pull, but clearly Sam is still higher on the food chain.

His fingers snap and there's a wordless whisper, a paper appears in his hand. "Considerin you done notified me a one, this shouln't be necessary. These is ones what haven't come, though they names coul be assumed an not original. Derseborns are...not as strict with names an titles. They's not as often named in records nuther. Sommat I's been tryina address wi th council here."

The thought of these tech phobic fools being able to find something the Alternians could not is a fantasy. Clearly. Hmph.

"An 's Mr. Gamzee Makara. A brother of high birth an accord. An heir to th head of church, should he take ambition." Sam shifts, standing up with an unnerving grace.

"Iffen 't all possible, 'd prefer you t be workin th case, Inspector. Yorn insight an diligence---is far superior. " that's mildly directed at Darkleer.

Darkleer 03/12/2019

The Lieutenant isn't dismissing you, so you stay, though quietly. It's somewhat of a relief that the Inspector has taken over the conversation now and the Baron actually makes a pretense of cooperation.

Your lip twitches a bit at his comment, but you don't let him drag you down on his level anymore. The sooner the two of you can get out of here, the better.

PI 03/12/2019

Gamzee being a potential heir was something you weren't aware of, so huh...another thing to factor.  "It would not be my first rodeo when it comes to aliases and I expect it will far be from my last. Still, I've yet to have a case where I had too much information so the list is appreciated."

The possibility someone is targeting purple blooded individuals is unsettling, but that they're somehow able to target specifically Derse-born is peculiar.  Perhaps there is a secondary link involved that hasn't made itself aware.  You have a few hunches, but that will take work to follow them.

"I fully intend to.  He's a good sort, a talented baker.  I've had the fortune to meet him before so I'd rather see nothing ill befall him."  You stand proper as the Baron rises.  "If you discover any further things, it'd be appreciated if you let us know."  Appreciated, but frankly not expected.  The internal clock in your mind has already set this as a race to solving this before the Baron and his men get their claws on whoever is responsible and then...well you expect everything is going to hit a not mysterious at all dead end.

GHB 03/12/2019

He makes point to note it due to the fact it could give a greater possibility that Gamzee survives. He hands over the paper easily, the ink is of a questionable nature. "Th list ain't complete by far, but these is th missin we've associated wi."

He wouldn't know the secondary link, but he'll gladly postulate on one. "I ain sure whyfor th church folk is targeted, but I am wondering if 't is political in natures. There are many that would be of a dislike of me fo former days--" Pointed look at Darkleer.

"But I's got faith you is in th right in yo search, brother. Iffen you is need any 'll be glad t lend towards 't. " His desire for additional information...mmm. "I'll does mah best if by an large I's come by sommat else. Be looking you on the toolmarkings of th dead, they is alway tell us stories."

He pauses, glancing at a middle distance as whispers of magic float his way. "Our words is alway carried somewheres."

Darkleer 03/12/2019

What. Is that look supposed to mean. Well, yes. You dislike him for former days. And current ones. He's not implying you would have it out for him and his church, is he? You wouldn't sink so low. You're intending to act well within the laws of this planet.

You let out another irked snort, jaw clenched tightly. You're not going to respond to his prods. Not today. You have weathered enough insult and ill demeanor from your superiors over centuries to build enough patience to deal with his.

PI 03/13/2019

Looking down at the paper, the names listed don't give an immediate ping of recognition. But then again names are what they are.  Still...it is something to lead onto.  Though the realization this could be part of a serial killer or targeted attack is still settling into the equation.

"The help is noted and appreciated Baron." you say aloud, remembing that right...courtesy and protocol. This man is still very much an ambassador for Alternia after all.  "I think we can all agree that getting to the bottom of this is in everyone's best interests. And I fully plan to do just that."

There is a pause, as you glance from Darkleer...to the Baron...then back.  There's a history there, and as much as you'd like to know it, time and place.  "Thank you for your time and assistance. And this information.  I'd say we shall no longer darken your doorstep...but..." turning back you look at...well you just wave your hand in the direction you assume the door is in.  "...I honestly expect I'm going to bang my shins on every object on the way to the door at this time.  Next time I'm bringing a flashlight."

GHB 03/15/2019

Yeah he definately means he thinks Darkleer would sabotage something. Sam's voice rumbles with a growl as the candles in the church grow brighter. In a few padded steps, he's turning the inspector in the correct direction with an amused smile. " D ast tha certain parties being not included in th investigation, but I is thinking that is an ast too far. Th door 's t th right, brother."  He straightens again, smoothing down his hair quickly.

"An I knows you is will do yo level best, as I would. Be sure t keep a brother updated some, yeah? I ain't much like t be out th loop in such things."  Eyes shine in the shadows as they trace the procession, breaths held in anticipation. Surely the Highblood would spill the blood of the offender. The sancrosanct demands it. He waves off unspoken pleas for blood with a wave of his hand.

Darkleer 03/16/2019

You will personally make sure the Grand Highblood will hear as little about this as possible. Or you will at least advice the Lieutennant of as much, since you are not the one to decide these things.

At least you're leaving now. During the talk your gaze has been fixed on Samedi the whole time. You're only hesitantly turning your back towards him, but you're not granting him even a second of attention morer than absolutely necessary.

You did take notice of the Inspector pointing out his apparently insufficient eyesight. Right, humans don't see as well in the dark. You would offer to guide him or even carry him, but considering your rank, you're not sure if that would be compatible with his pride. You still go ahead, some of your technological parts on your head and under your shirt lighting up just a tad more to help him find the way.

PI 03/16/2019

Curse your Prospitian totally human eyesight.  How nice it must be to be a troll or Dersite in the sense of being able to see in the darkness easier.  Probably saves a doozy on the electric bills as well.

"Of course." you say, then note the candles light raise. Ok...that was actually pretty impressive presentation.  What you'd do to have an ambience like that when officers came into your office. "I'll keep in touch."

You follow Darkleer and graciously manage to avoid dinging into several objects thus allowing you a graceful departure to the door.  "Take care, and talk to you later."  Even if not about this, you doubt it will be the last time you speak to the Baron.

As you make it outside the door, you give a sideways glance to Darkleer to gauge his disposition.  Not really wanting to speak up just yet until you're well out of any remote earshot of the church.  This place you swear. The heebies AND the jeebies.

Darkleer 03/16/2019

Your face is hard and grim. This has been a frustrating and frankly mildly shocking encounter. You're not going to speak up about this unless PI asks you.

PI 03/16/2019

After a few blocks, you finally speak up.

"Are you doing alright?"  you say with a concerned tone. Now that the pressure of keeping things proper and official is off, you find yourself more worried about how the interraction between the two had gone down.  "I apologize for not acknowledging the dismissal commentary.  At the time, I felt it would turn the discussions focus on that rather than the task at hand...but I did not want to give the impression that I was ignoring you."

Darkleer 03/17/2019

His question takes a moment to register, so deep into thought and frustration you are. But you stop to look at him.

"You did absolutely nothing wrong, sir. He did, that. Wretched. Two-faced. Pisspoor excuse of a-. Hrhk, pardon the language." You give an angry snort.

"I did not.. expect him to be here. But that explains the presence of his violence-thirsty church."

PI Last Monday at 12:12 AM

"Mmm...my apologies. He has been here a time, somewhat of an ambassador representative to Alternia, or so the cover be."  You give a glance around, making sure you're both well out of earshot of anyone and you suspect Darkleers hearing is good enough to catch your quietest mumbles.  "All but confirmed to have Crew ties, would not be surprised if his church operates alongside gang activities."

You give him a sympathetic look as he apologizes.  "Is it wrong of me to assume the two of you have history? Or is this just an idealological difference in a very severe way?"

Darkleer Last Monday at 9:35 AM

You catch his look around and try to keep your own voice low, even if the anger is boiling up inside you. "I.. served as the Executioner under the Alternian Empire, and he the judge. It was my task to bring down anyone he wanted to see dead - if he didn't choose to take care of it himself. I deeply regret my actions back then, even when I believed I had no other choice."

You had no intention of keeping any secrets, but just as well you didn't expect this to ever be a matter of concern on this planet. Obviously, thinking for yourself has never been your strength.

"He is one of Alternia's most influental figures besides the Empress, much to the chagrin of every other seadweller.. and the cost of everyone below. An embassador he may be, but he cares little for anyone not sharing his color. That he is here.. I am not sure if he would do less harm here or on Alternia.. Best would be neither."

PI Last Tuesday at 8:57 AM

A solemn nod is given.  Some of these things were things that you had pieced together, but there was something to be said for having suspicions confirmed and to hear it from the individual themselves.  A notch of respect given...goodness knows he isn't the first person on the force who has had a dark past.

"It always baffles me why some of the more...influential individuals would have an interest in Midnight City.  It's not even like there is...a lot here?  Pardon my rudeness and racial insensitivity here, but I would figure they'd have more important things to do than run a church and petty mobster crimes on a backwater planet....so says the hypocritical man working as an officer on said planet."

Darkleer Last Tuesday at 8:06 PM

You fall silent for a moment as you think about that. That is a good question that you're not quite sure you got the answer to. You have a hunch... a terrible one.

"The Alternian Empire was built on the discovery and... conquest of other planets and their residents. A small planet this is, but a planet regardless." As you try to explain this, another idea creeps up on you.

"Another terrible reason may be that the Empire's control of its people has been gradually slipping since the rebel movements have risen up. A lot of the more.. free-thinking trolls seem to find their way to this planet. Should they ever decide to return, they could bring some radical changes with them."

You haven't gotten to spend much time with the trolls of this city and precinct yet, but considering the fact that trolls of all castes work together and with such a different hierarchical structure was proof of that enough. Putting that thought into words makes you realize though... should the baron choose to influence or cull any of these young trolls, be it your own descendants, the young Peixes or any of the lowbloods, there is very little standing between him and them that can take him on.. besides you, maybe.

PI Last Tuesday at 10:20 PM

That was not something you had considered, but it would make a decent amount of sense if it was the case.  From what you've gathered, the trolls born on Derse have already shown radical differences than those who were born under Alterian influences.  And who knows...if they were to show that such a life is inherently better, yeah you could see how that would affect a word such as Alternia.

Your frown deepens.  "I do...worry for officer Piexes.  From what I've gathered, her blood type is royalty. Meaning from old system standards with there being a lack of empress, she would have means to attempt to claim said throne.  Considering her connection to Ampora and Amporas connection to Dualscar and..." you take a breath. Curse you connection chain.  "Dualscars connection to the Baron...I have no doubt the Baron could see her as a very tempting target to pull under his sway..."

Mm. Yeah no. You don't like that.  No sir ree bob. Maybe your just feeling overprotective cause you fed her fish as a grub or something. But mmm...yeah no. No like.  Adjusting your coat, you shake your head.  "I suppose we'll have to keep alert."

Darkleer Last Wednesday at 9:37 AM

You just give an agreeing grunt. Though you hadn't realized she was connected to.... "Dualscar." That is a name you didn't hear in a while. Not someone you ever got to interact with, but yet another old troll on a planet full of unsuspecting young ones. Hhn.

"We do." Maybe you should talk with the young Peixes about that? She seemed to innocently unaware and unaffected by all of Alternia's system and her heritage and you'd hate to ruin that, but you don't want to have her stumble into the hands of people that might use or hurt her.

PI Last Wednesday at 7:35 PM

"We do." you echo as you bundle yourself up, the biting cold outside suddenly feeling more intrusive than before.    "As an aside, thank you for your assistance earlier and for coming along with me for this."

Darkleer Last Wednesday at 10:08 PM

You nod. "No thanks needed. It was my job to accompany you." And you're glad for it. There's a good chance the Baron had no intentions to hurt him, but.. he is still a dangerous and unpredictable man. "If you need assistance in dealing with him in the future, let me know."

PI Last Thursday at 5:41 AM

"Hehe..." you chuckle. "Here I was about to offer the same to you."  It's true, you lack the...well beyond obvious physical clout that most trolls boast much less those of Darkleer or the Baron.  But you were not without your own authority and connections in this city.

Not that you really expect a lot of legislation and regulations would necessarily stop the Baron from popping your head off your body like a dandelion should he feel inclined. BUT NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO CONSIDER THAT.

"Let's get back to the precinct. We have a lot of investigating and work to do."

Darkleer Last Thursday at 9:22 AM

"I will keep that in mind." You didn't expect him to be of much help to you for dealing with the Baron, especially with him being someone that has grown up outside of Alternia. You might peruse his advice so you don't act against Derse's law. Though admittedly, he dealt with the clown fairly well back then, and especially with his outsider's view, he might open a few new perspectives.

You give him another nod. With all said and done, you quietly follow him back.

To Yorktown and Back

Title: To Yorktown and Back

Fandom: Star Trek

Relationship: Leonard Mccoy and his daughter Joanna Mccoy

Warnings: None

Characters: Leonard McCoy, Joanna McCoy, Spock, Jim Kirk, Chris Pike A/N: this is just a cute little thing that happened by accident. It was prompted by this post, so please BEFORE YOU READ THIS, check out that post to make sure you’re up to date! Some lovey people started this and then I just couldn’t stop my brain from producing this... hope y’all don’t mind! I have also added in what i added to the post before just so no ones completely lost. Let me know what y’all think, i love hearing your thoughts!! And if anyone wants to be tagged in any of my future fics, or current WIP’s just let me know XD

i also want to give a HUGE shout out to both @goingknowherewastaken and @fandom-susceptible for reading it over and giving me the courage to post!! you’re both awesome <3

enjoy!! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~     Spock takes time after that call. Time to decide whether or not to tell doctor McCoy that his pen pal is in fact his daughter. A daughter who he rarely speaks of, A daughter to whom he was denied visits many years ago. It’s a topic that has been brought up once or twice before, a slip of the tongue on Jim’s part, and every time Spock can see the guilt in the doctor's eyes, the hurt he feels for the daughter he unwillingly lost. So Spock decides it would be best to seek the council of someone who knows the situation better than he.

***********

    “Bones’ daughter!?” Jim shouted as he paced the room.

     “That is correct, Jim,” Spock nodded from his place on the couch, eyes following his oval path, “I agreed to participate in this program to give potential applicants into the academy insight into the life of a member of starfleet, though I never suspected I would acquire a partner such as this.”

    He stopped pacing then, and turned to Spock, “This is crazy, Spock! Bones hasn’t seen or heard from his daughter in years, and now you have contact with her! We... we should tell Bones!”

    “That is why I am here, Jim,” Jim shot him a quizzical look, “I do not know if that is the best course of action.”

    “What do you mean?”

    Spock sighed and stood, moving towards Jim, “I am not sure that the doctor or his daughter would be comfortable with this. I once added the doctor's name into one of my letters, so surely she knows that I work on the same ship as her father, and has yet to mention anything about them being related, and doctor McCoy completely avoids the topic.”

    Jim’s expression softened, now understanding Spock’s struggle. He neither wanted to upset his best friend or his daughter. He walked past Spock and took a seat on the couch that Spock had occupied before, Spock joining him. “So,” he turned to Spock, “what now then?”

***********

    Joanna had just gotten home from school, one of the harder days. The whole way home she held back tears that wanted so badly to fall, walked straight past her mother in the kitchen who always failed to see when something was wrong, and straight to her room slamming the door shut behind her.

     Once she was locked in her room, surrounded by the familiar walls of her only safe place, did she finally let the tears fall. She cried into her knees, thinking back on why they were falling in the first place. Kids could be so mean, especially teenagers.

     When the sobs has subsided and turned into soft breaths, she stood from the floor and walked across the room to her computer. She booted it up instantly opening a video chat window. Commander Spock had sent her a message the other day asking if she would be available for a video chat today after school, and to be honest, speaking with Spock was the only thing that kept her going recently.

     Once everything was set she turned her status to “online” and waited. As she did she looked at the space around her computer, the walls covered in articles and pictures, not a speck of the baby blue paint visible anymore, books stacked on both side of the screen, research papers, groundbreaking medical data, and all of it belonged to one person. Doctor Leonard McCoy of the U.S.S Enterprise. It was a good thing her mother never stepped foot in her room, she thought.

    The ringing that indicated commander Spock was calling shook her from her thoughts as she moved to accept the call. Once she clicked accept she took a second to make sure the tears were wiped clear of her eyes and cheeks, then looked back to the screen.

     “Hi, Joanna.”

     The words did not come from the familiar voice of commander Spock, and the owner of the voice was met with wide eyes and one whispered word.

     “Dad.”

***********

    “What do I say?” Leonard sat in front of Spock’s computer, staring at the video calling screen. Jim watched as he fidgeted with his hands in his lap, the first time he had ever seen his friend as nervous as this, but he understood why.

     He laid his hand encouragingly on his friends shoulder, giving it a squeeze, “Just say... hi.”

    “What if she doesn’t want to talk to me, Jim? Let’s face it, all she’s gonna see is an absent father who made no effort to contact her.” He sighed.

     “Bones, we both know that’s not true.”

     Leonard furrowed his brow as he turned to Jim, “We know that but she doesn’t. Who knows what Jocelyn has told her about me! And I tried, I really tried Jim, but what can I do when my ex-wife made sure she did everything she could to keep me away from her?”

    Jim could see he was discouraged, that he was slipping further and further away from actually going through with this, but this was his chance! He may have missed out on all those years with his daughter but who’s to say he couldn’t still have a future with her?

    “Bones, Spock’s been talking to her for a while now, and he said she seems like a good girl. I don’t think she would run away without so much as letting you explain yourself.”

    He turned back to the computer screen, “I hope you’re right, Jim.”

    Spock then moved to stand on the opposite side of Leonard, reaching down towards the screen. The status beside Joanna’s name had changed from inactive to online and he looked to Leonard, “Are you ready, doctor?”

    He let go one last sigh before straightening up and moving closer to the screen, “It’s now or never.”

    Spock nodded and touched the call button, then stood back. Jim touched his arm and the two of them removed themselves from the room, allowing Leonard some privacy.

     He didn’t even notice them leave, his only focus was on the screen before him, waiting for the call to be connected from the other side. He sat, still fidgeting, trying and failing to take deep calming breaths, and it felt like a life time before the call was finally answered and he saw her.

     When the call first connected she wasn’t quite looking at the screen and it gave Leonard a second to take her in. She had his dark hair, his emerald eyes, yet Jocelyn’s lips and fair skin, and he found himself momentarily at a loss for words before Jim’s words came rushing back to him.

     He took as calming of a breath as he could before he managed to muster up enough courage to finally, after so many years say, “Hi, Joanna.”

    She looked to the screen, eyes growing wide when she finally saw him, “Dad.” She whispered.

     Bones smiled, “I wasn’t sure you would know who I was.”

    She looked just as flustered as he was, “Dad...”

    “Look, Joanna, I know you must be confused, but hear me out-“

    “Why did you leave, Dad?” Her words were filled with hurt, laced with the agony he also heard in her voice as it cracked out the sentence that nearly brought him to tears.

     “Joanna...” he ran a hand down his face, he had known this question was inevitable but how was he supposed to answer this? “I didn’t have a choice. Your mother...”

    And there it was, the blame game. He was sure that Jocelyn had already told Joanna it was his fault, he left, he abandoned them. But even if by some miracle she hadn’t, should he?

    “Joanna, I-“

    “Tell me the truth, Dad!” He looked at her, tears welled at the edges of her eyes, face red and it was all he could do to remain calm and not come undone as she struggled to continue, “I don’t want to hear some dumb excuse, I don’t want to hear that you had no choice, I don’t want to hear lies you made up to spare Mom cuz god knows she's made up enough of her own to last a lifetime. I just want someone to tell me the truth.”

    “Alright then,” he nodded, more to himself then her. If that’s what she wanted then she deserved to know, “your mother and I… soon after you were born, we just couldn’t make it work. Being a doctor I had to work long hours, I would sometimes be gone for days, come home for a few hours to sleep and then get a call to head back to the hospital for surgery. And saving lives, it’s in my blood, Joanna, I could never ignore a call. Your mother was struggling with being a new mom, I was never there to help her take care of you, and she came to resent me over it. Eventually she said I was away so much I might as well have not been there at all. After that she wouldn’t let me see you, I tried to fight it but… with my hours at the hospital, then she filed for divorce. Then I signed up for the academy, and every attempt I made to contact you after that she stopped. But I don’t want any of this to change the way you look at your Ma, Joanna, just because-”

    Before he could finish Joanna let out a gut wrenching wail, head in her hands. His breath caught in his throat, all he could think was after all these years, after finally getting the chance to make amends with his daughter, he had ruined it already.

    “Jo…”

    “You should have stayed,” she gasped, killing Leonard even more, “Mom, she's… she drinks so much, half the time she doesn’t know right from left. School isn’t easy and I’ve… I’ve got no one to talk to. I can’t talk to Mom, I just…”

    He could no longer stop his tears from falling. His girl, his little girl, she was alone, he had left her alone.

    “Jo, I'm so sorry.” He whispered.

    “I just wish you were here,” she looked away from the screen and Leonard wished he could reach through and hold her like he should have been able to all those years.

    He sighed, “Me too.”

    “What if…” she turned back, perking up a bit, “what if I just came to you? I want to be with you, Dad.”

    “Jo,” he shook his head, disappointed he couldn’t give her the answer she wanted, “Jo, I can’t do that, darlin. I'm in space, on a mission with the Enterprise. We won’t be docking for shore leave for another few weeks, and I can’t bring a teenager on board with me. Jo, you’ve got school.”

    “Dad, I hate school.”

    “Jo, you can’t stay with me, darlin.”

    She didn’t say anything after that, just stared aimlessly through the screen. Leonard didn’t know what to say, he didn’t think anything could make this situation any better, but he could probably make it worse.

    For a moment she seemed to shake out of her trance, leaning forwards towards the screen then muttering quickly, “I have to go.” And before Leonard could say anything to stop her from leaving their conversation on a bad note, she ended the call and disappeared, leaving Leonard to stare at his reflection in the dark screen, eyes still brimming with tears.

***********

    Jim looked at his watch from where he leaned on the wall outside Spock’s room. “They’ve been talking for almost forty-five minutes.”

    “Surely this is good news, Jim.” Spock responded from the other side of the door.

    “Yeah,” Jim huffed, “I just wish I knew what was going on, that everything’s ok.”

    Spock shifted to face him, “I am certain that when the doctor and his daughter have finished their conversation he will tell us everything we need to know.”

    He opened his mouth to respond, surely a protest Spock thought, but was stopped short when the door opened and Leonard came rushing out.

    “Bones! How’d it go…?” Jim didn’t even have to get an answer to his question for he could already tell just by looking at his friend that things did not go as planned.

***********

    “Where’d he go?” Jim and Spock had been running through the halls of the Enterprise for nearly an hour now. Once Leonard had finished his call with his daughter and come out of the room at a near sprint, they had lost him.    

     Spock came to a halt as he reached Jim, “I have searched his room, the mess hall, the common area, the medbay, and still I have yet to locate him.”    

     Jim ran his hands through his hair, “Wait! There might be one more place.”    

     “Lead the way Jim,”

    And it turns out Jim was right, though he should have known to look there first. On one of the lower floors of the ship Jim and Spock found Leonard in a common room. He was standing behind a small bar at the back of the room, completely alone, pouring himself shots of whiskey.

    Jim sighed, motioning for Spock to follow him inside. They both took a seat at the bar across from bones who still had yet to look at them.

    “Bones?” Jim started, “What happened? Did she not want to talk to you? Did Jocelyn tell her bad things about you?”

    He shook his head, “None of those things, she wanted the truth, Jim.”

    “And did you give her the truth, Doctor?”

    “I did,” he nodded.

    “And?” Jim couldn’t handle the run around, “What did she say, Bones?!”

    Before he answered he took another shot, aggressively slamming the glass down on the counter, “She said she wants to live with me.”

    Jim rose his arms is surprise, eyes wide, “But, that’s great news, Bones!”

    “I can’t bring a kid on the ship, Jim, what if something happened?” he furrowed his brow as he took another shot, “And I can’t leave the fleet, I have so much going for me here, but then again I don’t want to disappoint her.”

     “After all these years, why does she now want to live with you?” Spock asked.

    “She said she hates school,” he turned his attention to the glass in his hand, swirling the liquid around inside, “she said Jocelyn drinks too much, she has no one to talk to. I feel horrible, I left her all alone.”

    Jim sighed, “Bones, that wasn’t entirely your choice.”

    “I know,” he waved him off, “but it doesn’t make it any better.”

   “We’ll figure it out,” he shruged, “maybe we can find a way to make it easier for her somehow, maybe we can apply for more shore leave so you can spend more time with her.”

    “You shouldn’t have to do that just for me, Jim.”

    “But you know I would,” he reached across the bar and placed his hand on Leonard's, “we’ll figure it out Bones, don’t worry.”

***********

    A few days later found Leonard standing outside of Spock’s room, staring at the door, not sure if he really wanted to do this or not. After what felt like a lifetime had passed, he tentatively knocked on the door, immediately after contemplating if he could run fast enough to make it around the corner before Spock opened it.

    Before he could made a decision on that, the door opened and Spock stood before him, “Doctor, how can I be of assistance to you?”

    “Hey, Spock,” he began, softer then he had wanted it to sound, “I was wondering if I could use your computer again… to talk to Joanna?”

    “Of course you may, Doctor, any time,” he shifted to the side and ushered him inside.

    Leonard made way straight for the computer and sat down. Spock was right behind him and wasted no time in opening the chat window. He saw that Joanna was already online and called her, Spock then leaving the room.

    The call was connected and to say Leonard was a little shocked to find Jocelyn’s face instead of Joanna’s was the understatement of the year.

    He didn’t know what to say, he was afraid to move to be honest, but he didn’t have to worry about that because Jocelyn spoke first, “If you're looking for Joanna, she's not here.”

    His initial fear of seeing her was instantly replaced with worry and anger, “Well where is she then?!”

    “I don’t know,” she practically spat, “she took off the other night and hasn’t come back.”

    “Have you called the police?!”

    “Why would I do that,” she shrugged, “she's a big girl, she can take care of herself.”

      He was floored, completely in awe that Jocelyn would ever have such little regard for their daughter’s safety, “Jocelyn, I don’t know what happened to you while I was gone, but you should know better then to put our daughter’s life in danger. She could be hurt!”

    “Look,” Leonard took note of how she almost fell off of the chair, her eyes almost closing as she slurred out her words, “why do you even care anyways?”

     “Because she is my daughter!”

    “Not like you ever cared before,” she caught herself again, “you don’t even know her.”

    “Well according to Joanna neither do you,” he couldn’t believe this, “Jocelyn, you need some serious help. You are clearly drunk and by the looks of it that’s not you're only problem, and you have been raising Joanna like this! Who knows how long this has been going on! And as for me, you're the one who told me to leave, you kicked me out, and every time I tried to make contact with Joanna you did whatever you could to put a stop to it. I always wanted to be a part of her life, you're the one who didn’t want me to. Joanna was right, I never should have left her with you.”

    “You have some nerve!”

    “I'm done with this conversation! You do what you want, but I'm going to find my daughter, and when I do you will never see her again!” He ended the call and jumped out of the chair, his entire body rushing with dread and worry over Joanna.

    The door opened and Spock poked his head in, “Doctor McCoy? I heard shouting, is everything alright?”

    Leonard ran over to the door, pulling it open and running down the hall, Spock following as he shouted, “We have to find Jim!”

***********

    Inside Jim's room the doctor paced the floor endlessly, “I don’t know what to do here Jim! I can’t exactly go running back to Georgia, we still have a mission to carry out here, and I'm the chief medical officer! I can’t leave my patients. We’re also a full days warp from Earth, anything could happen to her in twenty four hours, Jim! And at this point she's already been missing for at least three days!”

    “Bones,” he reached a hand to try and stop him from moving but it was no use, “our mission was a simple trade. We can return to Earth first and carry out the mission once we find Joanna, it’s fine.”

    “It’s not fine,” he finally stopped, facing Jim, “we can’t do that.”

    “We can and we will. I am the captain after all so what I say goes,” Bones flashed him a sad look, “Joanna is more important than a simple trade that can be carried out at any time. I’ll talk to Sulu and have him change our course.”

    “Jim, I don’t even know if she's still in Georgia,” he sighed, rubbing his hand over his face, “From what it sounded like she took off the same night we spoke last week. She could be anywhere by now.”

    “And we will not leave until we find her, Doctor,” Bones nodded his thanks at Spock then watched as Jim headed for the door.

    Before he left the room Jim turned back to Bones, “I'm gunna call a few people on my way to the bridge, see if we can get a few eyes out looking before we land.” And then he was gone.

***********

    “Sure thing, Jim. I’ll talk to a few people here, gather a search group and we’ll head out as soon as we can.” The dark haired man at the desk was leaned forwards, comm in one hand while using the other to write down everything Jim was telling him, “I’ll call you if we find anything, and you said her name was Joanna, right?”

    “Yeah,” Jim's voice rang through the comm, “Joanna McCoy, dark hair, green eyes, just a teenager.”

    “Got it. I’ll call you the second I have any information.”

    “Thanks, Captain Pike.”

    Christopher pike put the pen down beside the paper he had scribbled on and sat back in his chair, “Don’t thank me yet. Let’s find that girl first. Pike out.”

    He closed the comm, grabbed the paper from his desk, and ran out the door. He ran all over campus, recruiting as many people as he could to help find the doctor's daughter. His last stop before meeting everyone who had agreed to help was the academy’s medbay. He stopped at the nurses station and spoke to the head nurse there. A tall, built, blonde boy with dark brown eyes.

    “Absolutely I’ll help, sir. Doctor McCoy is a good friend of mine.”

    “Excellent,” he turned to head out as he told the boy, “meet outside by the east wing dorms in 0200.”

    “Yes sir!” then he was off.

    He left the medbay and headed through the hall of offices belonging to the academy’s doctors. As he was walking he removed his comm from his pocket and called Jim who answered almost instantly.

    “Kirk.”

    “Jim, it’s Pike,” he continued at a brisk pace, “I’ve got a crew together and we’re heading out in 0200 hours to try and find her. I’ll keep you updated-” As Christopher was walking, something in one of the offices caught his eye and stopped him mid stride. In a dark office sat a young girl. Dark hair, her back was turned so he couldn’t see her face, and a small suitcase beside her on the floor. Christopher turned and walked slowly towards the office and said to Jim, “I’ll call you back, son” then hung up.

    Before he entered the office he noticed that the name plate beside the door read “Doctor Leonard H. McCoy” then he turned and knocked softly on the open door.

    The girl inside jumped and turned towards him, wide eyes greeting him, and he couldn’t help but notice that the girls look went from hopeful to disappointed as soon as she saw him.

    “Waiting for someone?” he asked.

    “My…my dad,” she answered, so softly that he almost didn’t hear it, “I thought he would be back by now…”

    “You wouldn’t happen to be Joanna McCoy, would you?” he noticed her green eyes then as she looked up to him from her chair. She didn’t give him an answer, instead looked down to her shoes and he sighed, “You’ve got a lot of people very worried about you, Miss McCoy, including the entire bridge crew of the Enterprise.”

    Without looking up she mumbled, “I'm sorry, sir.”

        “Don’t be sorry,” he walked inside, sitting on the desk in front of her, folding his hands in his lap, “I’ve seen that look before. Someone just as lost as you needed a little guidance a few years back, and I helped him on his way. Nothing wrong with being a little lost, kiddo.”

    “What happened to him, the person you helped?”

    “Well,” he began, “once I got him all straightened out he became the captain of the Enterprise. His name is Jim Kirk, he's like a son to me, and he's also one of the people looking for you.”

     She didn’t say anything after that and returned her gaze to the floor. Christopher put a hand on her shoulder and pulled his comm from his pocket flipping it open, “Alright, kiddo, lets call your dad, he's worried sick about you.”

***********

    Quick fingers ran over the screen before them on the bridge, pulling up maps of Georgia, as well as highlighting inns and motels along the routes they had mapped out. “Alright,” Sulu began, fingers still scrolling across the map, “If we assume she's heading for the academy to find you, Doctor McCoy, then these are all the routes that have the most inns and fast food restaurants along the way, as well as the most access to public transit.”

    “She could have also gone down this way and taken a shuttle from here.”

     While Leonard, Spock, and Sulu worked on the maps Jim's comm went off in his pocket. He flipped it open and backed away from the three of them answering, “Kirk.” He listened intently to the words being said to him, then turned to Leonard with a hand in the air shouting, “Bones! We got her!”

    All three men turned with sighs of relief, and Leonard ran a hand across his face as he whispered to himself, “Thank god.”

***********

      A few hours later found Christopher and Joanna still sitting in Leonard’s office, only now surrounded by empty pizza boxes as they finished the last two slices. As they sat in comfortable silence, pounding footsteps came down the hall, eventually turning into the office

    “Joanna!” Leonard was the first one inside, quickly flanked by Jim and Spock, stopping dead as he saw her sitting there, a rush of emotions flowing through him.

     She stood upon hearing his voice and he two of them just stared at each other. Leonard didn’t know if he should be angry at her, yell at her, or cry.

    After her own internal war with her emotions she found herself lunging towards her dad and clutching onto him for dear life. He tried to be mad at her and tell her, “Joanna, you can’t do things like this, I was so worried about you,” but in the end he just ended up holding her crying, shaking frame against his chest, smoothing her hair and whispering over and over again, “It’s ok, Joanna, its ok.”

    But Joanna didn’t care if he was angry with her, she didn’t care one bit, because in the last ten years, maybe even longer, this was the most affection and love she had received. It felt so good to finally have someone to hold her, someone to actually care about her. And as her dad was tightly pressing her to his chest, placing feather light kisses to the top of her head, she let go a sigh of relief that she had been holding in for a long time.

***********

    “I know, dad,” no matter how much Leonard wanted to, they both knew she couldn’t come into space with him. It was dangerous and unpredictable and Leonard would be damned if he was going to put her at any risk. “But I can’t go back to Georgia, dad, I just can’t! I hate school, I hate the kids that go there and they don’t really like me either, and mom… she just doesn’t care and she hasn’t for a long time. I don’t want to be alone anymore, dad.”

     Leonard groaned, he knew himself he couldn’t send her back to that. If he did she would either refuse to go or just run away again. “I know, Joanna, but I don’t know what to do here. I can’t leave the Enterprise, darlin, I’ve got patients and work to do, life saving research. I have a commitment to the ship, but I also have a commitment to you as my daughter. I know we’ll figure something out, I just don’t know what to do right now.”

     “Dad, I know you can’t leave the ship,” she said with a hand on his arm, “I know at first when we spoke I said I wanted to live with you, but I realize now that that’s unreasonable considering your job. I know it’s an important job and I don’t want you to leave it, I don’t want you to stop saving lives, and I want you to stay on the Enterprise.”

    “It’s true, I can’t lose your dad, Joanna,” Jim chimed in from the chair behind the desk, “he's my best doctor, I need him.”

    “I know,” she nodded in Jim's direction, “I’ve read all of his books, articles, and published research papers from his time on the ship. I know how important he is not only to the crew but also to life forms in general. His work is life saving.”

    “You… you read all my books?” he was sincerely surprised.

     She nods, “Of course I did.”

    “Ok then,” he was impressed, “but I still don’t know what you want me to do, Joanna, I can’t leave you here alone, I can’t take you on the ship. What are our options here? We have to figure something out because I'm not sending you back to a place you don’t want to be in.”

    “If I may,” Christopher stood from his place against the wall, raising a hand.

    “Of course, Captain.” Bones replied.

     “I may have a solution,” they all waited, silently urging him on, “I’ve had some experience with wayward kids in the past,” he eyed a smirking Jim Kirk to his left before continuing, “and it just so happens that I’ve got a spare room in my apartment right here at the academy, currently unoccupied and waiting for someone to take it. So, if you’re alright with it, Doctor McCoy, Joanna is more then welcome to stay with me. It would mean a fresh start, new school, new people. You’d be closer to the academy for when your dad’s ship docks for shore leave, and while we were eating Joanna was telling me that Starfleet is her career goal. So while she stays with me I can put her to work as my assistant and possibly look into getting her into some early youth programs at the academy after school. Get a head start.”

    Everyone nodded as Christopher finished and Bones looked to his daughter, “Well, Joanna, what do you think? I personally think it sounds like a very generous offer from Captain Pike, as well as a great opportunity for you if you're serious about Starfleet, darlin.”

    “And I can vouch for Captain Pike,” Jim sat forwards in his chair, “he really helped me out when I was a lost kid, and look at me now. Captain of Starfleet's flagship, my own crew, a great career, and all thanks to this man.”

    “It is a very logical option, Miss Joanna,” Spock spoke for the first time.

    “Joanna,” Bones began, “it’s your choice, darlin.”

    “I can actually move in here?!” she jumped, “at the academy?!”

    “If you want to, you can move in with me right away.”

    “Wait,” Jim stopped their excitement, “what about her mom? What if she tries to bring Joanna back to Georgia, doesn’t she still have that right?”

    “Not exactly,” Christopher rubbed his chin, “because Joanna is sixteen now, in the eyes of the court she is fully capable of deciding which parent takes guardianship over her, and clearly that’s you doctor McCoy. If you want, I can get everything set up with a judge giving you full custody. Then all you have to do is sign some paperwork willing me to be a guardian for Joanna while you're off planet and we can have this settled before the week is over. Once we’ve got everything all sorted out and Joanna settled then you can get back to your mission.”

    “Well, dad?” she looked to him with hopeful eyes.

    “If it will make you happy and keep you in one place and in school, then it’s more than fine with me.”

     She jumped for joy around the room, and Christopher moved closer to Leonard, “I’ll make some calls in the morning and get the process started.”

    Leonard reached out a hand to Christopher, who took it, “Thank-you, sir.”

    “It’s no problem.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And a little bonus scene for you lovely humans:

     It had been two months already since the court had sided with Leonard and given him full custody of Joanna. It was really a home run right from the start when Jocelyn had shown up three hours late drunk off her ass.

     Shortly after that, Leonard had signed papers appointing Captain Pike to be her guardian while he was off planet with the fleet, and a few days later they were packing Joanna’s things into a small moving van and setting her up in her new room with Christopher.

    Since then Leonard had received a call from her almost everyday. Most of the time she just wanted to tell him how her day was, what she was doing with the captain that weekend, and sometimes she said she just wanted to hear his voice. Leonard was just happy that she finally seemed happy.

   While thoughts of his daughter filled his mind as he crossed the medbay, clipboard in hand, nurse chapel stepped in front of him, “Doctor McCoy, there’s a call for you in your office.”

    He didn’t have to ask, he already knew who it was, “Thank-you.”

    He placed the clipboard on the nurses desk on his way to his office, then flopped himself in the chair behind his desk with a smile, “Hey, darlin!”

    “Hi, daddy,” bones had to admit he was loving being called daddy, “how’s your day?”

    “Usual day in the fleet, darlin,” he smiled, “how was school?”

    “Usual day in the classroom, daddy,” he had to chuckle at her, “we worked on understanding how transporter pads work and then tomorrow, as long as I pass the quiz, I get to operate one. I’ve made some friends, Dessi and Connor, and Captain Pike said I could have them over for dinner this weekend, then he's going to take us to a movie!”

    “That’s great news, pumpkin!” his heart swelled at the change he had seen in his daughter since the first time they spoke, “You tell Captain Pike that I say thank-you, and I hope you do to.”

    “Of course, daddy,” before she continued she jumped in her seat with an “oh” before leaning down and grabbing something from the floor, “I also wanted to tell you that Captain Pike got me a kitten!”

    She sat up and placed a small black kitten, with a small patch of white off the side of his nose, up to the screen, “What did you name him?”

    She smirked, “Hobgoblin.”

    Bones rolled his head back and let out a hearty laugh, full and deep, “That’s my girl!”

    A knock came at his door, nurse Chapel poked her head in, “Doctor, we have someone for you to see in room nine, sorry to interrupt.”

    “It’s not a problem, I’ll be there in a moment,” she nodded and left and Leonard turned back to the screen, “I’ve got to go back to work, darlin.”

    “Alright,” she placed the kitten back on the floor, “when do you dock next?”

    “Three weeks, honey. Then it’s you, me, and whatever you want to do.”

    Her face lit up, “Can we all go camping, daddy? You, me, Captain Pike, Uncle Jim, and Uncle Spock?”

    He nodded, “If that’s what you want.”

    “It is!”

    “Then that’s what we’ll do,” he began gathering papers from his desk as he finished their conversation, “Alright, Joanna, I’ve got to go, but I want you to keep being a good girl for the captain. Keep doing your school work, and keep working hard in the captain's office, and take care of that little Hobgoblin you hear. Oh, and have fun with your friends this weekend. Call me when you get back and tell me all about it!”

    “I will,” she smiled as she watched him stand, “daddy!”

    He leaned back into view of the camera, “Yes, darlin?”

    “Daddy, I love you.”

    Leonard smiled, full and sincere and warm, “I love you too, darlin, to Yorktown and back.”

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A/N: i hope everyone enjoyed, let me know what y’all think XD