stefan is my babygirl, my kitten, my sweet little rat, my caution wet cement sign that goes unheeded, my silly rabbit, my goofy goober, my cracked mirror that exudes an ominous mist, my sock lost in the dryer, my rusty nail, my fortune cookie with two fortunes inside, my broken drippy faucet, my glasses with fingerprints obscuring my sight, my soft taco, my little birdie in the woods who sings songs haunting as his past, my half melted ice cream, my dented can of peaches, my doorknob, my ergonimically designed powerdrill, my worn out jeans, my—