this is the future liberals want

All ships are canon if you hc them as polyamorous.

The Most Important Polycule

The one that started it all. Irena is a poor girl who has run from everywhere she's known. All that she knows about people and how to be one is from watching, and she's usually content to just bounce around wherever she does, until she lands in Phoenix Drop, a village so down on their luck she can't help but want to help them.

She doesn't officially take the lord position for quite some time, but she starts using her strange random skills she learned from drifters and wanderers to help these people. This naturally brings her to Garroth, the former head guard, who's keen on keeping her safe because she's just a very kind person. Garroth quietly thinks she'd make a good lord, but he never wants to push her to that.

Laurance is introduced in almost the exact same way. I mean it. The full head of hair, obnoxiously green eyes, the so called Cassanova of Meteli. The most flagrantly bisexual man. Laurance is the first person to show outright and very direct interest in Irena, which she's never experienced. Most people are very subtle about it, or don't express it at all because she's well. She's kind of weird. And doesn't always get what they're saying. She's actually just autistic and doesn't know how love works because nobody's explained it in a way that makes sense to her. And Laurance doesn't quite get what her vibe is but she's really fucking pretty, and also not afraid to give him a piece of her mind but in a light hearted way.

A lot of Irena's early interactions have her express herself in rather comedic ways, like she's super witty, because most of the people she learned from were bards and con men. She can be off-putting to some, but to Laurance? A girl who he can say romantics to and she'll respond with some cheeky retort that isn't an outright rejection? And she's beautiful and could maybe beat you in a fight?? Irena is the girl of Laurance's dreams.

And Laurance is always a fiercely dedicated person. He's known Irena for three weeks, and yet he'll still go into the pits of hell by her side. Laurance has read so many romantic poems and stories, I imagine that ancient Greek literature still exists in this universe, and he's read the tragedies of men who thought they could walk through hell and back safe and sound. He knows that Orpheus always turns around to see if Eurydice is there, but he's confident that they won't have to do that. He's confident he'll walk out of hell hand in hand with her.

No, what happens to them is worse. We all know the story. In order to save the life of one of his closest friends and the life of one of the most mystifying people he's ever rapidly fallen in love with, Laurance actively and willingly sacrifices himself. Irena returns to Phoenix Drop days later and when she finds Garroth at the guard station, she just collapses into his arms and begins weeping.

He's caught her crying before, but never like this. She's never completely fallen apart. He doesn't even know what happened, and she's too wracked with guilt to say anything at first. She knows how Laurance felt. She doesn't know what love is exactly supposed to be, but she knows what it looks like. She's seen people fall in love by staring at one another from across a fire pit. She could tell on day two that Laurance was falling hard and fast, and she was honestly scared the same might be happening.

Now she can't even bring herself to admit it out loud because he's gone, and in her eyes, it's her fault. Oddly enough, once she's able to admit some of what happened, omitting certain details about the nature of her and Laurance's relationship, Garroth is actually able to empathize with her. He isn't very direct at the time, but he gives her advice on how to use her grief as a motivator. Laurance sacrificed himself for her sake, and he would want her to keep moving forward.

Content Warning (y'all knew this was coming): Torture

What ends up being a brief period of time without Laurance, only about two months or so for the Overworld, is far far longer in the Nether. Laurance was planning on dying a warriors death, but after he suffered a nearly killing blow, he was kept alive, and dragged back to The Shadow King's castle. The Shadow King is only a phantom at this point, a pitiful version of his former self. But conscious enough to give orders, and to allow Gene to do what he wanted with this Shadow Knight. Let him prove himself.

So Laurance gets tortured. A lot. And is forced to become a shadow knight without dying. Which the Shadow King didn't even think was possible?? How tf did he fuckin do that, fuckin wizard. The entire process is unbearably painful, and Laurance's only solace are memories of Irena, some other prisoner he gets to talk to on the other side of the cell wall, and oddly enough, memories of a guard he hadn't seen in... years. At his lowest moments, Laurance wishes he could see Garroth, wonders where he is, what's happening in his life, if he managed to get the head guard position he rightfully deserved in some thriving village.

It's the last persons name he starts crying that finally breaks him. Laurance starts thinking about his family, about everyone he's lost, everyone he's going to lose is he dies here, and everyone he might lose if he somehow makes it out alive. The existence of shadow knights is contradictory by nature, and it's starting to break Laurance down. He starts to lose his sense of self. It's only when he weeps at the memory of a young boy finding a wounded wyvern in the woods that something finally happens.

Within seconds the wall is broken into, Laurance gets grabbed, and he's suddenly flying through the Nether in his best friends mouth. And going through the open rift between realms? One that was forcibly opened with the life essence of an immortal under dire circumstances? Laurance was not pretty when Irena and Garroth found him. He was malnourished, a little too pale, so many scars, his hair was all fucked up, and when they first found him, he just wasn't breathing.

Eventually Zoey is able to get his condition stable, but Irena refuses to leave his side until he wakes up. Laurance is out for a few days, and she's dedicated to being there when he wakes up. He has to. If he dies, then both his death and Ungrith's are her fault, and she can't let it end like that. He has to wake up. He has to.

When Laurance finally wakes up, he only notices he's blind because he can hear Irena's voice but can't see her face. But he can feel her hand in his. She's alive. His sacrifice wasn't meaningless because she's still alive. This is the point that we really get the ball rolling, and the point that I take the canon story out to the back alley to be violently beaten to death.

When Laurance desperately confesses his love to Irena, she remains quiet. She listens, and only when his breathing starts to even and the panic has subsided a little does she simply mutter the words "I missed you too Laurance."

"Would you say you loved me?" She has to think for a minute. Lots of people have tried to quantify love to her, explain how it feels or what it looks like, and despite best attempts, Irena still struggled with the concept. But when she sees Laurance's beaten form nearly crying, iron grip on her hand, and the weariest smile on his face, she sort of just gets it. Like it's the most obvious thing in the world that she loved him from the first back and forth they had while walking to Castor's house. Suddenly she can see the appeal of spending all her time around another person.

"I suppose I do."

As for Garroth falling for Laurance, I've covered this on my main blog twice before so I'll simplify it here. Laurance has repeated nightmares/night terror related to his experience in the Nether, and when Garroth is comforting him after one, he realizes this fool of a guard he met in the academy all that time ago is still taking up so much space in his mind.

He realizes it's love, and starts freaking the fuck out because Garroth?? Loves two people?? And one of them is a man???? What the fuck is going on??? Unlike my previous musings, there's a lot more time dedicated to this. Laurance's recovery is slow, and while Zane does interrupt this time, when he's gone there's even more time for Garroth, Irena, and Laurance to all just sit with these emotions.

(Trust me I have a lot to say about how I'm handling Zane and what he does to the story in this rewrite, but that is an essays worth of a post unto itself)

Maybe talk about them with their loved ones. Obviously Garroth doesn't talk to anybody at first, but Irena might go to Zoey. Tell her how she's feeling and Zoey has a faint ache in her heart because she still can't bring herself to admit she feels that way about Irena. Laurance talks to Cadenza about how happy Irena makes him, and how much he wants to share that with Garroth. She nearly whacks him over the head and tells him to just fess up to them already, stop talking to her about it when he clearly understands how he feels. Laurance always does, he's just got a lot of room for improvement in communicating it.

And one day when they all manage to have a day off, Laurance sits the two of them down at the docks and the three of them just talk. He spills his guts to them, tries not to be too emotional about it, fails miserably, and they just sort it all out. No need to hold it in, no need for Irena to deny them this time, and even if Garroth faintly thinks this is a waste of time at the start, when Laurance very directly says that he's in love with Garroth, that opinion very quickly changes.

Irena freely admits she doesn't have a lot of experience with love or relationships, but she knows that she feels love for both of them, and she'd like to try something. Even if it's quiet. Even if they have to hide it so Zane doesn't try to use it against them. She wants to try. And well, Garroth really can't say no to them. He's still faintly terrified of being emotional and vulnerable with people, even though he's already been this way with both of them. He's still so paranoid it'll get them hurt.

But he'll learn to let down his guard for them. They're worth it.

Why I think much of Only Friends discourse here is flawed

TL;DR Western audiences expects Only Friends to be more progressive than it can be considering its situation. Only Friends is already a gamble by GMMTV as it is one of the first prime time series focusing on queer sex life to be aired on TV. As Thai audiences and censors are still quite conservative, GMMTV probably added some conservative messaging on sex and relationships to appease those people and for the series to be able to be aired during prime time. Much of the discourse didn't factor in these aspects.

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Note: I think I did a shitty job building up to the conclusion, I did not proofread this. I think the TL;DR captures the gist of my argument already.

I have noticed that much of the negative reaction surrounding Only Friends finale has been coming from Western audiences, this might just be me being in an echo chamber where people don't discuss BL series or it shows a divide in audience

I think the ending is catered to the Thai audience rather than Western audience which creates a crash of worldview. Thai dramas has always been filled with moralistic messages and almost always ends in a happy ending, this is already the case in plays as early as the late 1700s.

Even into the TV era, Thai audiences are also accustomed to the moralistic storytelling that ends in a happy ending, most Lakhons basically boils down to this. Branded ships also began in this era (I remember the Channel 3 heterosexual ships getting much popularity, although many of the couples actually married later on so IDK). Although as time progressed, audiences are more accepting of less moralistic storytelling, but still a general sense of good triumphing over evil is still present.

Coming into the BL boom, despite BL being a new genre at the time, Thai audiences still expected the same kind of things they expect from heterosexual lakhons and most Thai BLs still follow that. With the popularity of BL ever rising and fan service being an expected part of promotion, happy endings are kind of mandatory for BLs.

I think Only Friends ended the way it did because GMMTV understood Thai audiences. Much of the Thai audience watches a series for their favourite actors and only some watch for the story (as you can see from the amount of boring university BLs). Deviating too much from the standard pattern would only alienate viewers away.

Despite the picture the tourism board may be trying to presenting, Thailand is still a conservative society, many people still cannot separate sex and relationships. Open relationships and polyamory relationships are still being frowned upon.

Combined with conservative censors which rate BLs for a higher age level than heterosexual dramas with straight up domestic violence, without moralistic messaging, the show might get an 18+ rating and has to be aired after 22.00 (like Friend Zone) or even worse, not being able to be aired at all.

GMMTV probably understand this very well, pushing Boston's separation of sex and relationships as normal might as well be suicide. Much of the audience does not appreciate that view and the censor probably would not like that very much.

I think in their minds, pushing a show so involved with queer sex life into prime time is already enough of a gamble for them, risking that spot being taken away or alienating their (somewhat) conservative audience too is not a chance they's like to risk.

I think the production still should've pushed more for Boston to be accepted but in the end that was what we got. The negative reaction is justified.

I think the issue in the discourse right now is that Western audiences expect a liberal viewpoint being presented in this series, but in reality, Thai audiences are still quite conservative and for a boundary pushing show like Only Friends (Gay OK Bangkok amongst other works are not prime time shows and maybe not even shown on TV at all, that's why I said Only Friends is boundary pushing) has to make compromises to appease those audiences which ended with Boston ending up the way he did.

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Afterword: I think my analysis mainly focuses on cultural viewpoints rather than the content of the series, whilst Western audiences tend to do the opposite. This probably stems from my background in advocacy, which focus on cultural aspects when it comes to analysis.

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Feel free to respond or criticise, I want to hear differing viewpoints from mine as well. I agree with much of the analysis about the series here but feel that they are too overly critical because their analysis lack the cultural background that explains the thought process behind the decisions the production team made.

polyamory is literally the solution to all shipping discourse. there needs to be more demo/zhanna/soldier and medic/heavy/medic's wife. the world could be so beautiful.

YEAH. I'd love to see more of it!! To be honest I don't understand die-hard shipping stuff. It's mostly all HC anyway so what's the big fuss? Ship and let ship and all that!

Is only ship! Why you hafta be mad!

What Polyamory Does For The It Fandom VS In The St Fandom.

These are some brain worms I've had for a while and I've decided to share, regardless if it makes some people mad. Although that is truly not the intent of this post. Anyways. If you haven't been in the It fandom and only have stayed in the St fandom this post may not make sense but I do encourage you to read it.

I joined the It fandom in 2017. I'm one of those few people who were in the It fandom first before moving over to also join the St fandom in late late 2017/early 2018. I had a blog for consuming content but I didn't start making content until 2020 for the It fandom and more recently and regularly for the St fandom. Anywho what I'm trying to say is that I've seen a lot.

I loved many ships in the It fandom and one of the main ships is Poly Losers Club. This is the first fandom I've seen where a poly ship was one of the more popular ones. Even if someone didn't ship all the Losers, throuple and quatrouples (is that how you say it?) have always been popular in this fandom.

Because it is almost unanimously agreed across the fandom, that whether platonically or romantically, all the Losers love each other. Even the most die hard of reddie shippers, the fandom's most popular ship, can often agree on certain fanon headcannons, Stan and Richie practiced their first kiss on each other, Eddie's first crush was on poor oblivious Bill. And that comes back to the agreement that all the Losers love each other. Ships in this fandom have never had an issue coexisting. If someone shipped something different from someone it was always more like "oh that's not my favorite but I definitely see where you're coming from'" OR they're like "yeah no they're in love too," Hardly ever any belittling or any superiority complexes.

That's what makes being in this fandom fun and easy.

Poly Losers even often features a gay man and a women and I've read many beautiful fics where this is explained as they're more best friends than lovers but Eddie doesn't love Bev any less because she's a woman. This fandom allows Eddie and Bev to have an amazing and emotionally intimate relationship because I feel like this fandom does understand, for the most part, that platonic love is just as important as romantic love.

Now on to the St fandom. There are some poly party shippers out there but they are far and few. And there is SO MUCH shipping discourse. Yes I could talk about Mileven and Byler but come on, it goes beyond that. It's with Jany and Stancy, Ronance and Rockie. Elmax and Lumax, and Steddie and Stonathan. Just about every ship you think of there is an alternate ship that people will fight for. They will belittle you for shipping something they don't, and insist that your ship is nothing but platonic. That,,,that just doesn't happen in the It fandom. You know the joke, "All the Losers had a crush on Bill at one point," I think that in itself says a lot. Bill, the arguably least liked character, (my poor bb), has the joke that all the losers had a crush on him at one point.

I'm getting off track. Anyways I'm not saying that shipping everyone together in a poly sense would fix everything with these shipping wars but i do believe why there was never any shipping wars in the It fandom was because of Poly Losers. Also when I talk about poly in St I mean it like Poly Party and Poly teenage crew. Not together, I hate that I have to clarify that.

In the St fandom, it's just not as universally agreed that everyone loves each other, even in the basic platonic sense. All anyone seems to care about in the St fandom is romantic love. A lot of shippers want to be right, they want to prove that their ship will be cannon which just,,,sucks the fun right out fandom spaces.

Canon, fanon, why can't people just make cute fan art and talk in babbles about thoughts they have on a ship. Why do you have to be right about what's going to be the canon ship? Why do certain people feel the need to put down and even to the extent as far as bullying people who ship something different? I've never seen a fandom so focused on 'canon pairings' like the st fandom. (Side note I was never in the sherlock and supernatural fandoms, I knew to mention this)

The party, like the losers, are friends who have been through turmoil that have bound them together for a lifetime. I don't care what pairing you give me from st, whether it be a platonic or a romantic one, I will tell you that those characters deeply care for each other.

Side note: it's worth a mention that the Duffer brothers originally wanted to film the It remake and when they didn't get it, we got Stranger Things. It can be argued that the Party is based off the Losers club so you know what that means? THEY ALL LOVE EACH OTHER. Take it as platonic or romantic idc.

Again, I don't think that poly party is the answer to ending the shipping wars. I do think however that if people could remember how much the party members mean to each other, that that could make less tiring fandom spaces.

Okay I'm done. I just thought this was an interesting point on how it's been like in the It fandom vs the St fandom.

Wait I was doing tags and I forgot to mention that there are few people who ship Elumax and Stoncy, two throuples and kudos to them. They're just worth a mention, I didn't forget about ya'll

There's a thing that sometimes gets trotted out in polyamory or bisexuality discourse, where there are vanishingly few labeled bipartite graphs relative to the number of labeled graphs for a given vertex count. This is supposed to reflect the fact that for example shipping of a bisexual or polyamorous cast is much richer than shipping of a cast where everyone is monogamous and monosexual.

Ridiculously verbose analysis below the cut. It is execrable analysis in the sense that it is regrettably binarist, because the bipartite situation is going to be binarist by-default, and so will anything we do based on it.

For example, if we assume a cast of N straight women and M straight men, where without loss of generality N <= M and all couplings are assumed to be strictly monogamous, we can only have \sum_{k=0}^{N} choose(N,K) M!/(M-K)! couplings--the reason being that we can choose k=0 couples (celibacy.gif), we can have k=1 couples (just one romantic pairing in our friend group), up to k=N couples (saturation--every woman is paired off, and now there are M-N men who do not end up paired off). For each K, we choose K of the N men to be paired off, and once we do, for each man we have M*(M-1)*(M-2)*...(M-K+1) choices to make. This leads to the above sum.

On the other hand, if anyone is allowed to be in a relationship with anyone else (fully polyamorous, bisexual, perhaps we can even turn off the grotesquely binarist assumption that everyone is either a man or a woman)--then this reduces to the much simpler question of how many labeled graphs are there on N+M vertices, for which the answer is known to be 2^(choose(N+M,2))--because, for each possible coupling, of which there are choose(N+M,2), it can either be "active" or "inactive"--the two are in a relationship or they are not¹.

Of course, this doesn't give a strong intuition of exactly how fast one of these scenarios is growing relative to the other. Let's make a chart!

Let X(N,M) be the number of shipping scenarios in the monoverse, and let Y(N,M) be the number of shipping scenarios in the poly-and-bi-verse. The values of this chart are log_2(Y/X).

For example, in a friendgroup with 12 friends, 7 of which are female and 5 of which are male, the number of monoverse shi[pping graphs is 9,726, but the number of poly-and-bi-verse shipping graphs is 73,786,976,294,838,206,464, which is a difference of approximately 2**52, reflected in our chart by the value 52.3.

We might ask ourselves "but what if we have only a handful of e.g. nonbinary friends who everyone is gay for? how does that change the analysis?" If you want me to continue in this direction, you're going to need to wait for me to get back from shipping--er, shopping, and also tell me that you want this :)

¹ How quaint. I can achieve unresolved sexual tension with friends the likes of which you've never seen before.

*bursts into your inbox and chooses violence* fandom/fanfic asks 15: Fandom you find annoying and 22: Least favorite fic trope

Vodka woke up and said "Let's get Crow cancelled today" lmaoooo. No, thank you, I'm a shady bitch and we all know it. 15. Fandom you find annoying I'm sorry folks, it really does either have to be ST or OFMD. It's really a chicken or the egg situation for both of them, like did I not enjoy them first and then they both became inescapably popular which only fueled my preexisting dislike or did they become huge and taint a formerly neutral opinion? I think with the latter it's probably deeply fueled by personally spite since I find Black Sails to be the first and wildly better gay pirate show and I just kind of thought OFMD was... underwhelming in comparison. The former I actually liked for a season or two and then they just decided to have essentially the same plot beats for four seasons and I was like "wow this is boring!" I tend to just really dislike stuff centering on high school aged shenanigans as is, and then I was subjected to insane and rancid discourse on my dash every day once S4 came out and I was done lol. Of course if you are reading this and thinking "Crow must personally hate ME" then I encourage you to go outside and take some long breaths because it's literally not that deep and people can find your interests irritating without it having anything to do with you. People should do what makes them happy and I have both the tags/popular ship names blocked as best I can. Don't let my cranky ass stop you. 22. Least favorite fic trope Misogynist portrayals of women in m/m pairing fics! What the hell and fuck!!! It's always written off/defended by the worst people as somehow just not big of a deal because the female character is obviously a terrible person in canon (she is almost always at worst on par with the fan favorite male characters) or you'll get attacked for pointing it out because they just want "representation" and obviously you are a nasty heterosexual for simply pointing out that there are better ways to make your pairing happen than demonizing/killing off/torturing female characters. (For the love of God!!! Polyamory!!! For a start!!!) Look, I know these are fake people and they don't need to be defended and what someone writes is not necessarily what they condone IRL but some stuff just reeks of deep rooted issues and if your reaction to being questioned on it is to start hurling serious accusations and insults.... idk man it's not a good look! Can you tell I have been on the receiving end of this discourse a few too many times lmao.

GENDERQUEER STEVIE BRAINROT (and more polycule details bcs I'm a hopeless aromantic who loves polyamory)

Disclaimer: I do not encourage anyone to ship Stobin romantically, I only ship them casually in the context of this one AU/headcanon where Steve's identity would be heavily fem-leaning. If you still want to argue that a lesbian couldn't be romantically involved with a transfeminine person, you're just looking for online discourse which I won't be providing.

the party polycule (lucas got bitches)

why are you so obssesed with poly ships? i've been lurking around your blog and you seem to put a lot of characters from your fandoms in poly ships, you even have a sideblog with polyamory in url and i'm curious why

ik you might just be poly yourself and looking for representantion which is valid even when you have to make it up bc there's not much of those relationships in media

but if your mono then what exactly about those ships interests you?

sorry if it's rude to ask or sth, i don't want to offend but i was seriously wondering

ohh that's interesting haha but im glad you're not mean

welp, it's just one of my interests, ya know. My bachelor's thesis was about polyamory representation in media and just overall - it's history, how people are seeing it, how they react to it, how this kind of relationships works. Like, idk it's just interesting to me. Also, poly is kinda part of lgbt+ community, but it isn't exactly popular in media or and lgbt doesn't really talk about it as much as about trans or other orientations. Lately, people has taken an interest in polyamory, and not only in a sexual way but also as a romantic, beautiful relationship, and I guess im just part of this group.

and representation in media? Oh lord, don't let me start on that. There's like one or two good representation in movies/shows, while others are just toxic and all are doing are harden negative stereotypes.

Also, ive been a shipper since i was a little kid. Idk men, I just like idea of people loving each other. Movies and tv shows in 20's were all about love triangles, and honestly why? I mean, if you both love one person, and that person can't seem to chose because she also loves both of you, then... don't you see a solution? I mean, obviously, it isn't that easy in real life, but in a movies? Why not just let them love each other without drama.

Oh yes, another thing: fandom dramas. I hate those, truly. Ive been in many fandoms before, and in most of them there is that discourse 'ship A vs ship B" usually having "G+K or G+N" and people are literally throwing insults and kys at each other just because they can't accept that other people like different dynamics than them. That's stupid all in itself, but welp.. I guess polyamory is some kind of way of remis? I mean, in poly you can ship both ships without argument. They can be in open relationship or close, they can be triad or just one person loving two others. Like, in a fictional world, it's the best solution, isn't it? It's us who create characters' thoughts, dynamic, emotions... We *can* make it work!

So hm that would be that, I think? Love is beautiful and you can make it that way if u want to!

I hope it answers your question ahaha

OK so heads up I’m using a dictation service for this lately I’ve been doing a lot of stuff with voice work and typing is just a bit too tedious because a lot of my work involves typing as well so when I’m not directly working (although I will say that like my online presence is work since I work for myself) I don’t want to type lol

Anyway if you didn’t know on my other account @iamthatwhich I talk about spiritual stuff, intentional living stuff, etc. and over on the Instagram of the same name last year or the year before that I had done a series on polyamory versus non-monogamy Specifically because a lot of people were promoting polyamory as if it was a one size fits all superior by default option and that monogamy was inherently evil which is not true. Luckily by now the conversation has started to shift, I have noticed that one of my gifts being an overlap of sight and speech, Is that I tend to be able to see and name a problem before most other people do so I am one of the people who starts conversations or is at the forefront or creating wave of discourse

(Remember when I was bitching about the anti-indigeneity of veganism 4-5 years ahead of mainstream discourse…? Yeah.)

ANYWAY This is such a ramble because all I wanted to say is that check out that account if you would like to follow the things that I talk about- It’s going to be mixed in with other more overtly spiritual stuff but if you like philosophy or that kind of discourse I would say to check it out because the next thing that I want to tackle is talking about courtship versus dating.

One of the things that stands out to me so much right now about main stream/allistic relationship talk is that people HATE dating. And It’s weird because a lot of people don’t seem to know that they hate it, which I see a lot with allistic people because a list of people just do what they’ve always done or what they think is normal and are not quite as sensitive to their own reactions to things.

The thing about dating culture in the west or the US or whatever is that it’s actually really really recent we used to court and I think that as we normalized dating, dating and courtship began to mean the same thing which they absolutely do not.

Anyways so I’m gonna be doing a talk about why dating is a normal culture here and how we’ve exported this to other countries, how this is an extension of assimilation, and what are the basic foundations of court ship.

I know that in our current culture we are really very much into everything that’s progressive and anything that seems to have more boundaries or more expectations or more rules, we hate it. However I feel that it’s also true that sometimes as a culture especially as younger generations we want to throw the baby out with the bathwater and we lose the plot. Additionally for many of us having an option away from the things that are deemed normal or liberated in this culture because they are not always necessarily liberating, is actually a means of cultural reclamation.

I also think that it’s really really important that as many people as possible way in on discussions like this because unfortunately we live in a largely binary world where everyone who is more progressive more liberated, we lean a certain way and don’t want to overlap at all in other directions, and then everything else is left to religious fundamentalists. Like I said before the problem that I have with that is that Christianity does not own courtship. And in the current day and age I don’t think they should be the only people talking about it or weighing in on it.

Honestly I feel like there’s another binary where like we’ve done well to be more understanding and open with people who are aro ace, But I wonder how excepting we can be of people who are making certain decisions rather than having an inherent sexual identity.

Because every single day I see more and more people especially women which is an important factor, talking about how they hate dating, how dating exposes them to people that they wish they were not exposed to just in order to find a partner, how it just feeds them more and more disappointing memories, and how they feel like they’re wasting their time. I see more and more people of all sexes complaining about how they can’t find somebody who is willing to commit, complain about people who are pretty casual in their approach, and part of that problem is that dating can mean many things, but courting does not.

And I know that I’m rambling here but my point is one of the biggest problems is that I would say about 20% of the people who date genuinely want to date, a.k.a. have a casual open ended experiences with people. Another 15 or 20% of those people don’t want any partnership at all and maybe don’t even want to date I feel pressured to do so and are probably aromantic. And most of the rest of them, Whether they fully realize this or not are only looking for committed partners and only want to meet with people who are looking for the same but they’re wasting a lot of their time and energy running into people who do not meet that same mindset.

And the best thing for those people to do is stop putting themselves in positions well where they will meet people who don’t want the same thing as them. Which is why they need to be courting, not dating.

Anyway the talk come out soon and I will update on my blog follow me there if you want to know when it comes out.

@iamthatwhich

To be fair, as a regular polyshipper, it's not like we just polyship every character. Yeah we might polyship a canon couple x another character, but generally we don't do it just so it's closer to canon.

Oh no, trust me: I am completely aware that a polyshipper isn't going to ship every conceivable poly ship.

I only bring up the 'because people don't realize that polyamory exists' statement because, with the third character in question, it seems like we're getting the beginnings of 'Sakura Haruno- Level Discourse' (i.e.: shippers hating a female character for getting in the way of an M/M ship to the point of prolonged justifications of said hate). The likes of said Discourses, thankfully, died down a bit with the increasing embrace of poly ships in fandom.

RULES

Pinned Post | About Me | Masterlist | Fandom List

1- THIS IS A SAFE QUEER PLACE. Queer topics might not come up every posts- but it might happen as well.

2- This blog is SFW ONLY. Suggestive might happen, and will be appropriately tagged and handled, but it will be kept SFW only.

3- Pregnancy is not allowed for asks, ever. Children are an okay topic, feel free to send asks regarding kids.

4- Be careful with heavy topics. I'm somewhat willing to write comfort for heavy topics, but don't vent with details at me. I cannot handle it, and will have to delete the ask, or even soft block you if it's particularly heavy. Please respect that. I'm not a therapist.

5- Say hello, or better, bonjour, or I will come for you.

6- Hey si vous êtes français, oui vous. Je peux répondre en français. <3

7- This is for fun, if you ask for more than I’m willing to take I will also come for you. Be scared.

8- I’m perfectly okay with spam like/reblog/notes. I do not care.

1- Be polite. If you just demand it like I owe you my free time, I will simply delete it.

2- Don’t spam me asks. I will block you.

3- I can take asks in french and english. Anything else, I cannot, and will have to delete.

4- 4 characters max per request.

5- SFW only. (Suggestive somewhat acceptable to a degree)

Notable information :

I mainly write Gender Neutral Reader. If asked for Fem or Masc, I would rather the gender have a necessity for the story or the headcanons for it to be relevant. If Reader having a specific gender isn't relevant, or changes anything to the writing, then I will make it Gender Neutral. I always attempt to make it work, but I do not see a point in gendering it if it's not needed. This isn't personal, I just want this to be fun for others and myself.

Yes, Polyamory is A-OKAY. Go for it. Please request polyamory.

If you request a character that canonically has a partner, I will not erase their existence, and it will always be made in the aspect of said character being in a polycule with their partner and Reader. I will never change my stance on that, and any ill comment on it, or request to erase the character's partner(s), will be met with a soft block or a block. I'm very serious about this.

I do not personally feel comfortable with aged-up content. I do not mind it, this is not an invitation to word vomit about it to me. I just don't like doing it myself. Yes that also includes SFW, I will only do platonic content with characters that are minors in story (unless they have a canon timelapse to being adult, then I don't see that applying anymore, obviously).

Please feel free to ask for family or platonic relationship. I adore those, and absolutely wish to make stuff for it.

I'm very queer. Anything queer, you can ask.

If you need a tag added for content warning, send an ask/DMs.

I'm willing to write ship content in the aspect of a polycule. This is the only ship content that will appear on this blog - and it will be apropriately tagged. I have a blog specifically for ship content, if it's what you search for.

ON THAT NOTE.

I will not write ships (as in character x character, not both dating reader but not dating each other) for :

incest and stepcest

(any specific ships i personally do not want to write for will be added if ever needed)

And disclaimer : no discourse. Block and Scroll, if I write something and you don't like it, block and scroll. Fandom Etiquette.

You can find the post about what Fandoms and Characters I write for here. Not everything is always listed if there are a lot of characters, so you may ask if I can write for someone who isn't listed. I'll let you know, and update the list if necessary with my answer if so.

things you need 2 know before you follow me !

୨୧ i cannot stress this enough . . the amount of 13 and 14 year olds i get interactin' with me is s' weird ! ! get off my blog, this is not safe 4 u !

୨୧ do not ask me 2 be mutuals, it can be vv awkward . . also reminder that i 9/10 will not mutual u unless u a writing blog !

୨୧ remember that i can block whoever i wish 'n i can sumtimes block off of vibes. if i have blocked u , do not come in 2 my inbox or dm's 'n ask why ! u r blocked 4 a reason ! in addition 2 this, if break the mutual with me, let me know ! i do not wanna be left as ur follower.

୨୧ dnt come in 2 my dm's if we r not mutuals, a one off private question is okay, but if its constant, it will result in a block.

୨୧ dnt vent, bring discourse or trauma dump in 2 my inbox. i will not answer it, 'n said ask will be deleted.

୨୧ dnt spam like, its bad for the writer's blog. if you spam like 5x times, you will be softblocked. no hard feelings, i just want to protect my blog and content !

୨୧ do not copy, plagiarize, repost, or translate my work + do not use steal my themes/ or pics here. they are my own edits !

things u need 2 know about my writing !

୨୧ i do not take requests, however i do accept thirsts ! any requests in my inbox will be deleted.

୨୧ i do not write 4 polyamory 'n i do not write 4 kinks such as scat, vomit, vore, etc etc . .

୨୧ i do not write 4 any ships !

୨୧ all my works are for fem! readers. i dnt write 4 male readers or gn readers + i only write male! character x fem! reader ,, i do not write fxf or mxm

୨୧ i have the right 2 deny / delete a thirst, ask or prompt !

my dni (do not interact) list !

୨୧ racists. transphobes. homophobes. israel supporters + zionists + neutrals about the israel - palastine situation. dni blank blogs [atleast have a pfp]. .

here's my solution to whatever the hell you guys have going on