#no seriously I don’t take steven slander
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King Falls AM Episode Twenty-Two: Somewhere Under the Rainbow
King Falls AM Transcript
Episode 22: Somewhere Under the Rainbow
Run time: 24:26
First Aired: Mar 15, 2016
Summary: The Rainbow Light’s continued presence has King Falls on edge and the action heats up at Lake Hatchenaw over what Herschel and Cecil reeled in two weeks ago.
(For a list of characters and references from this episode see the end of this post)
[King Falls AM theme plays]
Ben: And, of course, please use caution and common sense regarding the Rainbow Lights.
Sammy: And, you know, with everything else in life.
Ben: Right. Mayor Grisham is asking residents to not look directly into the lights and also to not harm and harass them in any way.
Sammy: Idiot! How do you harm and harass a light?
Ben: Sammy, I know you’re sore at the mayor but-
Sammy: Shouldn’t he be doing more than press releases about this? There have been rainbow lights hovering over the town for two straight weeks. Where’s the national guard, man?
Ben: I don’t know Sammy, I-
Sammy: Where’s his caution and common sense? We have lost people to these lights before.
Ben: I know you’re frustrated, Sammy, but I think that’s what he’s, he’s getting at. I-
Sammy: No, no no no no no. The only thing Mayor Grisham is doing is posturing to look like he cares because the election is this year. It’s despicable.
Ben: Dude, I agree with you! You’re right. But don’t forget about the positives!
Sammy: Such as?
Ben: The bronys man!
Sammy: (exasperated) Oh come on…
Ben: What? You have to admit it’s pretty cool that hundreds if not more of these brony guys have made the pilgrimage here because of the rainbow lights.
Sammy: Oh yeah, it is simply thrilling. Almost as thrilling as the fact that I was nearly stampeded by a herd of their mustangs when I was coming out of Rose’s yesterday.
Ben: Maybe they thought you were with them.
Sammy: Maybe so, I don’t know. I give off more of a furry vibe.
Ben: Very true.
Sammy: You get it folks, so to right this train please be aware of your surroundings, try to travel in packs-
Ben: Strength in numbers, people.
Sammy: And use caution and common sense regarding the rainbow lights and whatever is projecting them.
Ben: Stay safe King Falls!
Sammy: Alright, we’re taking your calls ladies and gents. Are the constant bright rainbow lights disturbing your sleeping patterns?
Ben: Much like Sammy.
Sammy: I’m tired man.
Ben: (laughing) I know, man! Have you or anyone you know gotten close to the lights or seen the UFOs up close and personal?
Sammy: We are here to listen to your issues and to offer help if we can. Give us a call, (424)279-3858.
Ben: And, as always, you can hit us up on your social media of choice at King Falls AM.
Sammy: Line three you’re on King Falls AM.
Caller: Hello, King Falls AM.
Sammy: Howard Ford Beauregard?
Beauregard: The third.
Ben: It’s an integral part of the name, Sammy, as you know Howard Ford Beauregard the first and Howard Ford Beauregard the second are probably still milling about in a dungeon or somewhere under town.
Beauregard: I’ll have you know-
Ben: Because they’re undying vampires!
Beauregard: Ha! More of your charming, paranoid wit. I suppose your five listeners enjoy your slander and degradation.
Ben: The lights must really be messing you up. Can coffins keep out bright as the sun rainbow lights from UFOs? Or-
Beauregard: Stevens, please alert your man and tell him I shan’t be addressing any of his inquires this evening or otherwise.
Ben: Your man? Ha! What century is this, Beauregard? Seriously, just tell me!
Sammy: Mr. Beauregard, may I ask why you’re gracing us with your presence via the telephone?
Ben: How did you pester people before the telephone, Howie? Telegram? By letter?
Beauregard: The reason behind this call is simple. I’ve been made aware of rumors swirling about that, well… that the townspeople are talking about me. More so that I may possess something that may cause this outbreak of colors in the sky.
Ben: Uh, it’s a rainbow. You’d know that if you’d seen light in the last milenia.
Beauregard: I don’t understand why, but I know that a large number of the residents listen to this show of yours. And I wanted to assure yourselves, and the lowlies, that listen to this rubbish that the rumors are unfounded and untrue!
Sammy: We actually haven’t heard this rumor, Beauregard, so-
Ben: Oh I have! I just wasn’t going to waste airtime on this petrified bloodsucker and his idiot manservant. Nobody has a ray gun that can shoot rainbows and can turn off electronics.
Sammy: A ray gun that can turn off electronics?
Beauregard: Now see here! This is exactly how things get out of hand. Stop talking about this. Stop thinking about this. I can hear you thinking… I have nothing of the sort!
Ben: Sammy we’ve had lots of tweets about a frequency beaming into ours and the listeners hearing it. Do you think this-
Sammy: What are you doing up there, Beauregard? Did you cause the 2015 electrolocaust with this thing?
Ben: (baffled) Oh man, is this true?!
Beauregard: (stammering) I uh, well you can’t, I don’t uh-
Sammy: Answer the damn question, Beauregard. Did you do something that knocked our entire town off the map?
Ben: Seriously, I had to get a whole new iphone, man! What’d you do, Howie?
Beauregard: I absolutely will not stand for this. I am not here to be persecuted and grilled about a transmorgrifier electrode-
Ben: You did this! This has you written all over it! But why?
Beauregard: Now see here.
Sammy: What’s a transmorgrifier?
Beauregard: I don’t know, how would I know? Nobody said anything about that.
Ben: Are you causing the rainbows and UFOs too? What the hell is going on up there in that manor of yours?
Beauregard: I will not tolerate this insolence! I will be calling my personal friends Mayor Grisham and Sheriff Gunderson, and they will not take kindly to how you are treating me! I came in peace, you degenerates!
Sammy: Are you saying they won’t appreciate you asking us questions about your involvement in all the weird stuff that happens in King Falls?
Ben: Not all, Sammy. Just some.
Sammy: Right.
Ben: What else are you doing up on your mountain?
Beauregard: Enough! I tried to use your media outlet, as primitive as it may be, to dispel a terrible rumor and all you’ve done is multiply the accusations. I will not stand for this. I will crush you.
Ben: (laughing) Oh ho ho!
Sammy: With your rainbow electrolocaust ray gun?
Beauregard: With all of my power and every fiber of my being! You fools should not doubt me!
Ben: Is this a threat? It sounds like a threat, right, Sammy? Will your personal friends-
Sammy: Mayor Grisham and Sheriff Gunderson.
Ben: Yeah, will they be cool with that? Do they know about your ray gun?
Beauregard: There is no ray gun! And these are no threats!
Sammy: I’m not really buying either of those statements.
Beauregard: There are only promises here, Stevens. Howard Ford Beauregard-
Sammy and Ben: The third!
Beauregard: Ugh, you fools! I am not a man to be taken lightly! I am not a man to be bullied. I am not a man-
Ben: But a vampire!
Beauregard: Mark my words… if you can refrain from your tomfoolery for one damn minute longer.
Sammy: Uh yeah, timer’s on, you have our undivided attention.
Beauregard: This is not the last time you’ll hear from Howard Ford Beauregard the third. Being the gentleman that I am, this is my fair warning to let you know this is far from over.
[The phone hangs up]
Ben: It’s funny he wants to keep talking to us yet his idiot yard-boy Pete can’t wait to stop listening.
Sammy: It really is sending mixed messages.
Ben: That was ten out of ten as crazy as it gets!
Sammy: I hope you’re right.
Ben: There’s no way we top that tonight, he is olympic gold medal winning levels of crazy.
Sammy: Okay, you aren’t wrong, but I’ve also learned to never count out anything in King Falls.
Ben: Huh, want to make this interesting?
Sammy: You wanna bet?
Ben: Just a, a friendly wager.
Sammy: I don’t know, I’m just not sure, I mean can you ever really count out any of this stuff?
Ben: Ten bucks man, call it! If you think something is going to top HFB3 tonight that’s easy money.
Sammy: For scientific purposes, I am in.
Ben: Ooooohh! Suckah! Rainbow lights, UFOs, electrolocaust? He’s literally the last person on the face of the earth I would trust with a potato gun! Much less a-
Sammy: A possible weird-ass weapon of mass destruction?
Ben: Correct. You will be funding my breakfast, sir.
Sammy: We’ll see. So moving on, another call?
Ben: Yeah. One more short one before the break. Line five, welcome to King-
Caller: Oh yeah? And I’m telling you to get the hell of my land if you don’t have a warrant!
Ben: Ron Begley?
Ron: This is my property, that lake is my property- And you can get the hell out of my face!
Sammy: Hmm, still sure about that ten bucks?
[The sound of buzzing, talking, and sirens in the background]
Ron: Ah, stupid government… Hey guys, you there?
Sammy: Hey, Ron. You’re live with us, sir, what’s going on?
Ron: Hell if I know. There’s a sh-(beep) ton of unmarked cop cars pulling up and making a god awful racket. I was sleeping, and it was a sweet dream of John Stamos, until these donut eating sacks of dogsh-(beep) woke me up! Please tell me you guys know what the hell is goin’ on.
Ben: Uh, Ron, we haven't heard a thing all night. Especially out by you and Kingsie.
Sammy: You said they’re unmarked, they’re not with the sheriff’s office?
Ron: Not that I can see. It would have been one, two, three… three, four, five of these x-filey f-(beep)-s now! And not one of em will even look at me. Just charging on past me to the lake and it’s like, it’s just me up here, you know! I don’t need the damn sirens squealing-
[The sound of sirens]
Ron: Here comes another f-(beep)-ing one! Come on!
Sammy: I’d put the ten dollars I’m about to win on Howard Ford Beauregard and his Dr. Evil rainbow lazer.
Ben: Not so fast with the money, Sammy, but I don’t think you’re wrong.
Ron: Hell no, look at that pinskirt! Agent Scully you are not, sister.
Ben: Uh, I’ll call Troy for you Ron, hang tight.
Sammy: Wait a minute, do you think this has something to do with the body Herscell and Cecil found a couple weeks ago?
Ron: Don’t bother calling him, Ben. And the hell if I know, Sammy. These pigs just can’t come onto private property and start doing as they please. All they have to do is talk to me, damn it! I’m an American! I don’t have to put up with this crap.
Ben: You don’t want me to call Troy and find out what’s going on?
Ron: Nah, cause the goofy son of a b-(beep) just showed up! Troy! What’s going on here?
Troy: I came as soon as I heard, Ron. These guys are F. B. I..
Ron: I don’t give a flying f-(beep) if they are President Lyndon B. Johnson’s personal pants makers! Hey! Yeah, you! Don’t step on those- not only are they environmentally safe, but they are pleasing to the eye! Hey! I’m about to go have some words with the Mr. and Mrs. doing to foxtrot on my begonias. Talk to Troy.
Sammy: Bye, Ron. Be careful out there.
Ben: Begonias?
Ron: Glad they sent the b-team out here to deal with this sh-(beep).
Troy: Hey fellas.
Ben: Troy, what’s going on over there, man?
Troy: I only came up to alert Ron about the alphabet boys coming, but apparently these g-men and g-ladies beat me to it.
Sammy: It sounds like bedlam out there, Troy, what is going on up there, do you know?
Troy: My buddy, I’m not completely sure I could talk about that live on the air.
Ron: (in the background) I don’t give a damn! Show me a warrant!
Sammy: Fair enough, Troy. It sounds like it’s pretty serious out there? Maybe you’d better go…
Troy: Oh yeah, I’d better go, if Ron keeps getting in these FBI guys faces he’s bound to get tased!
Sammy: Or worse I don’t know if Ron’s the type to take to guantanamo very well.
Ben: Give us a little hint before you go, man! Ron’s tough, he can take it!
Troy: Man, we’re live, right? You know I can’t talk about official police biz anymore on the radio.
Sammy: Ben, would you stop? It’s fine, Troy. Just please go make sure Ron stays out of trouble.
Ben: Damn it!
Troy: Ten-four, Sammy. And you fellas make sure to maybe, I don’t know, give Doctor Jeffery Rosenbloom a call ‘cause he can and should talk about… well, not official police biz.
Ben: Oooohh! Thanks Troy!
Sammy: You are a child.
Troy: Take her easy, guys. These constant rainbow lights are making me real uneasy.
[The phone hangs up]
Sammy: Stay safe Troy. You heard it here, folks, seems like there’s a bit of a commotion going on at Lake Hatchenaw, at Begley’s Bait and Tackle in particular. So if you happen to head that way at this ungodly hour, I don’t know why, then you may want to change your plans.
Ben: I got Dr. Rosenbloom’s number, Sammy. Should we call him?
Sammy: This is the same Dr. Jeffery Rosenbloom that works at-
Ben: The King Falls coroner’s office. So… should we?
Sammy: I don’t know… he kinda creeps me out. No offense, doc.
Ben: Cause of the zombie thing?
Sammy: I wasn’t even talking about the zombies! I was just talking about him. If the zombie thing were true, which it obviously isn’t, I don’t-
Ben: It was. Troy confirmed it.
Sammy: Troy is…
Ben: Are you calling Troy a liar, Sammy?
Sammy: Not at all, I’m just saying Troy is excitable. Who knows what those two saw that night and-
Ben: I’m pretty sure he saw the reanimated corpse of a John Doe from the lake try to eat Dr. Rosenbloom.
Sammy: Allegedly. That’s all I’m saying, and I’m leaving it at that.
Ben: (laughing) Come on, man! Try to earn that ten spot! Rosenbloom is a fan of the show, I’m sure it’ll be fun!
Sammy: Exciting, even?
Ben: Let’s not get carried away, how about, uh, interesting. Troy dropped us a big fat clue, man! It’s a King Falls scavenger hunt!
Sammy: No.
Ben: After the break we’ll call him.
Sammy: We really shouldn’t bother him.
Ben: After the break!
[Patriotic music plays as the commercial break begins]
Commercial: Hi, I’m Stephan Grisham, resident and mayor of our great little mountain town King Falls. Under my watchful eye King Falls has prospered. Crime and unemployment rates have fallen, and streets are virtually clear of all the apparition gang wars that plagued our beautiful town in the past. Regardless of what certain detractors might have to say, there’s simply no better choice for our town if we want to keep it growing and flourishing. That’s obviously why I ran unopposed the last two elections. Vote Grisham 2016 for a better tomorrow today. I’m Mayor Stephan Grisham, and I approve this message.
[Patriotic music fades, King Falls AM rock music plays then fades out as the commercial break ends]
Sammy: Unopposed the last two elections?
Ben: Don’t get all riled up, Sammy.
Sammy: This is ridiculous! This man is the definition of sleezy, slimy, political rhetoric and very little action. How could anyone with a brain vote for that guy?
Ben: But tell us how you really feel.
Sammy: I can’t. I can’t deal with him right now. And you knew that ad was about to run, man! A little warning, please.
Ben: I will gladly tell you to catch a bathroom break next time we run the mayor’s-
Sammy: Propaganda.
Ben: Political ads, but yes, that too.
Sammy: (sighs) Moving forward-
Ben: (loudly) Dr. Rosenbloom!
Sammy: Come on, Ben, the phone lines are all lit up, let’s just take some calls.
Ben: Oh, one call man. You’re destroying my journalistic gumption with every word. Cronkite, Brokaw, Ben Arnold!
Sammy: Alright you, just call the guy. I know you’re not going to drop it.
[The sound of a phone dialing]
Ben: (cheering) Yessss!
Sammy: (sarcastically) Thanks, Troy.
Ben: Yeah, thanks Troy.
Rosenbloom: Good evening, King Falls coroner’s office.
Ben: Uh, Dr. Rosenbloom?
Rosenbloom: Is this Ben Arnold?
Ben: You bet it is! You are live on the air with Sammy and I.
Rosenbloom: (without emotion) Wowzers. How exciting. To what do I owe this pleasure?
Sammy: Dr. Rosenbloom, there is a commotion going tonight down at Lake Hatchenaw. Seemingly a police investigation?
Ben: We were told that you might know what’s going on. Is that true?
Rosenbloom: I don’t know the first thing about a police investigation, gentlemen. However, I believe you may be referring to the FBI looking into the body of one Rich McGuff found in-
Ben: Wait, did you just say Rich McGuff has… died?
Rosenbloom: Not in so many words, but his body was found in a lifeless state by two elderly gentlemen out motor boating on Lake Hatchenaw just a few-
Sammy: Herschel and Cecil found Rich McGuff dead?
Ben: This is terrible news!
Rosenbloom: It is rather disturbing to say the least.
Ben: Kingsie didn’t… uh… you know…
Sammy: He’ll get to it, Ben. Dr. Rosenbloom, uh, would you happen to have the official cause of death for Mr. McGuff?
Ben: Had to be foul play man! Nobody that could grow a mustache that lucious and shiny can have any sickness in him. Please, just please, Dr. Rosenbloom, tell me Kingsie didn’t have anything to do with this.
Rosenbloom: There was no evidence of Kingsie having had her way with the body.
Ben: That’s good news. Oh man, should you even be talking about this? Does Rich’s family know? This is breaking news we don’t wanna-
Rosenbloom: Rich McGuff had no known next of kin to be found, so while it’s definitely sad when one shuffles the mortal coil, at least there wasn’t family to find out about his murder.
Ben: I’m sorry, what?
Sammy: Dr. Rosenbloom, are you telling us that Rich McGuff was murdered? This wasn’t a drowning or…
Ben: This is crazy!
Sammy: A murder in King Falls.
Rosenbloom: Obviously it’s a very concerning matter. The strangulation is what did it in. The gunshots, the knife wounds, the bludgeoning were such overkill. Really uncouth in my professional opinion. Once Rich awakened, I tried to speak and see if he knew who had done such heinous and despicable act, however there was only a slight hissing but guttural sound emanating from the exposed chest cavity
Sammy: What?
Ben: Dr. Rosenbloom, are you saying that not only was Rich McGuff murdered, but he also turned into a zombie too?
Rosenbloom: We don’t like to use the ‘zed’ word in the office, but yes, the body of Rich McGuff did reanimate after some time and stimuli.
Ben: Sammy take your ten bucks man, you win!
Sammy: Am I understanding correctly that Rich McGuff turned into one of those…
Ben: Zombies!
Sammy: Reanimated corpses like the John Doe?
Rosenbloom: You are correct, Sammy. Mr. McGuff being the tenth such instance in the past year since the Hatchenaw Doe is a pretty exciting time to be alive, believe you me.
Ben: Or undead.
Rosenbloom: That as well. However there really is nothing behind the eyes after the initial passing. The lights are on, knock knock, but nobody is home. It is the ultimate metaphorical ding dong ditch.
Ben: Wait, you said tenth instance? What the f-(beep) is going on here?
Rosenbloom: Apart from the obvious, not much Ben. It’s not like I’m quietly amassing an army of undead to do my bidding or anything as crazy as that. Aha, ha, ha, hm.
Sammy: (slowly) Okay… I think that’s about as much as I can take tonight. Thanks for the information, doc. Folks, please keep Rich McGuff in your thoughts.
Ben: Or just go down to the coroner’s office and throw uncooked meat at him! He’s a zombie, man!
Rosenbloom: You two are a riot, trust me everything down here is more than under control. I mean, except that there is a murderer on the loose in King Falls. The undead are certainly properly contained and accounted for.
Ben: Oh my… This is the worst!
Sammy: Dr. Rosenbloom, please give us a call should… I- I don’t know, I’m at a loss for words here.
Rosenbloom: I hate to be the life of the party and run, gentlemen, but I hear a slight rustling coming from the cold chamber, and I haven't seen my assistant Zoe in a little bit. Hm. Haha, ha, ha.
Sammy: Unbelievable. Stay safe, Dr. Rosenbloom. We’ll be in touch soon.
Rosenbloom: Duces. And I’m out.
[The phone hangs up]
Sammy: Jack-in-the-Box-Jesus! Can we go to break, Ben? I don’t know what-
Ben: The hotline is lit up, Sammy.
Sammy: The hotline? Do you have an interview scheduled?
Ben: I don’t, man! Only a couple people have that number.
Sammy: F-(beep) it. It can’t be crazier than the last twenty minutes.
Ben: Wanna go double or nothing?
Sammy: God. No. Good evening, you’re live on King Falls AM.
[Dogs yipping in the background]
Caller: Finally! I’ve been dialing your slowpoke asses all night long!
Ben: Archie? For the tenth time, you know if this is an emergency you should call the Sheriff’s office. Or Troy.
Sammy: I think they even have a special number you can call. It starts with a 9 and ends with a-
Archie: I know all about that, you silly Sally. And don’t get snarky with me! I’m literally calling you fools with the biggest damn piece of news in your little radio show’s history.
Ben: What’s going on, Archie? Is it the werewolves? Princess VonBarktooth?
Archie: It ain’t the damn werewolves! Thank heavens. I think the rainbow lights kept their furry butts in their trailer yard thank god, probably doing furry trailer park things… I’m sure they’ll stop now since the rainbow lights are gone.
Sammy: I’m sorry, did you say the rainbow lights are gone?
Archie: You bet your buttered up ass they are! I mean it just happened so maybe-
Sammy: Ben, you wanna check this out? Archie, thanks so much for breaking this news, this is a big deal!
Archie: Well, you’re welcome and such, but that ain’t the story you’re gonna be on your hands and knees thanking me for.
Sammy: There’s more?
Archie: Oh you bet your custom tailored britches there is! You see, oh my! They’re gonna to be sending the King Falls Gazette to take pictures soon! Oh I just know it! I need to get gussied up and fix my hair and put the Princess’s tiara on. So much to do, so little time I-
Sammy: Not if you don’t tell us, Archie.
Ben: They’re gone, Sammy! I can’t believe it, after two weeks the UFO’s lights just up and leave without- anything?
Sammy: Oh man, the bronys are going to be so disappointed.
Archie: May I speak now? I mean I don’t wanna interrupt your damn rainbow lightbrights commercial.
Sammy: Sorry, Archie. Ben, Archie was just saying that he has more news, it wasn’t just the lights leaving.
Ben: Is it good or bad news?
Archie: If you closed your damn trap I’d tell you.
Ben: Trap closed!
Archie: Well, I’d been soaking in my bathtub for just the longest damn time. Rufus and I were watching youtube videos, trying to lock down that stanky leg dance. Have y'all ever heard of that?
Sammy: Stanky leg?
Ben: I don’t know, keep going, Archie.
Archie: Well, long story short I mighta stanked it up a little too much and I pulled a hammy so I was taking a hot bath when I hear the loudest damn banging outside. I thought it mighta been the wolves, or even worse, the puppy babies come back, so I limped out as quick as I could, and at my door was the craziest thing I ever saw!
Sammy: Which was?
Archie: A fully nude man! Just dangling and banging on my front door and asking me for help, and I mean not a stitch of clothing on him.
Sammy: I have to believe that isn’t the craziest thing you’ve laid eyes on.
Archie: Well in this instance yes, trust me.
Ben: Archie, you didn’t sign up for Billy Sherwood’s naked yoga, did you?
Archie: That’s none of your damn business, Ben! But I might have. Anyway, this was a man that needed some help. More-so, I think it was a man you boys might want to talk to.
Sammy: Um… okay, and who would that be?
Archie: You boys better appreciate this! Cause I could’ve called Channel 13 or any other news outlet in town-
Ben: Channel 13 isn’t a news outlet, man. The main eleven o'clock news story was about the slushy machine getting retired at Nick’s Exit 13 Oasis. But we do thank you for calling us first, Archie.
Archie: Y’all just remember who loves you b-(beep).
Other Caller: Are these the men that can help?
Archie: Here, darling, take the phone. These boys will get you sorted out.
Tim: Hello? This is Tim, uh, Tim Jenson. Do I know you? Can you help me? I- I’m trying to find my way home, but… I just can’t remember where home is.
[An eerie tone transitions into the King Falls outro music and credits begin.]
References:
Brony: a male My Little Pony fan
Furry: I’m not explaining that one…
John Stamos: an American actor
X-files: science fiction television show
Agent Scully: X-files character
President Lyndon B. Johnson: a US president
Foxtrot: a type of dance
Begonias: a type of pink flower
Alphabet Boys: people who work for the government
Guantanamo: a US military prison in Cuba
Cronkite: an American journalist
Brokaw: an American journalist
Characters:
Ben Arnold, Sammy Stevens, Howard Ford Beauregard III, Ron Begley, Troy, Dr. Jeffery Rosenbloom, Stephan Grisham, Jeffery Rosenbloom, Archie
#king falls am#king falls podcast#king falls am podcast#king falls transcript#king falls am transcript#kfam#kfam podcast#kfam podcast transcript
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You know I remember some people having an issue with how the whole thing was resolved or we didn't see it. It goes back to the problem of the steven pov thing or they put the focus on Steven way too much. I think there was also some criticisms surrounding the CG's and said something that there was something off about them. I even recently saw something that suggested that SUF made it look like Pearl doesn't actually love steven, which I disagree but I think it may have something to do with how she along with Garnet and Amethyst, didn't get the signs that there was something seriously wrong Steven.
Idk I just don’t think the bit about therapy is a huge deal
And “Pearl secretly hates Steven” discourse? Christ I thought we left this back in 2015. I do think it’s a little weird that people are saying this about her and not Garnet and Amethyst. It feels like they would be more in tune with his mental state, so singling out Pearl just seems extra weird
And this is of course on top of the absurdity of this whole premise in the first place. Of course it’s possible to love someone without noticing that your actions or attitudes are harming them, even while only intending to help them. (Hell, even Steven probably isn’t noticing some of the ways that he’s being affected.) This is a central theme throughout SU and Future, which we see exhibited by Greg in “Mr. Universe” and quite a few other characters
If people are really saying that “Pearl doesn’t actually love Steven” it’s an example of people yet again failing to grasp a basic lesson that SU is teaching. And when they come to these ridiculous conclusions about the show or the characters, they don’t take a minute to rethink their reasoning, they just immediately jump to slandering the show and the creators (“Not shattering the diamonds is nazi propaganda!” “Rebecca Sugar is secretly a racist!” and now we’re back to “Pearl secretly hates Steven!”)
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Saw some Steven slander on the tl so buckle up again! Just wanna ramble about some stuff on my head 🤝 might be a long post, but maybe it won’t be, but welcome to my Ted talk, I guess!
There’s something absolutely endearing about Steven Grant. Actually, there are a lot of things endearing about Steven Grant.
It’s the way he’s absolutely passionate about Egyptian mythology, choosing to spend his sleepless nights reading about it, studying hieroglyphics and just anything available to expand his knowledge about the topic. He was concerned enough to tell Donna about the misinterpretation of the Ennead, choosing to still tell her about it even if he knew he’d probably get shot down the second he started talking.
It’s the way he cares so much about Gus, going as far as putting him in the first (and maybe the only?) clear container that he could find, his blender, and bringing him to the pet shop to just to ask if it was normal that he “grew another fin”. He loves the little guy so much, and he probably chose him specifically because he only had one fin and he genuinely wanted to help him.
Its the way he bought Crawley some food with extra pralines, even if the man just sits there and listens while Steven talks to him during his shift. Its the way he’s a vegan, abstaining from consuming meat products, but still respectful to those who don’t have the same ideals.
It’s the way that he doesn’t believe that he’s broken, even if he was losing days of his life for reasons he couldn’t quite understand. It’s the way he as strong enough to say that he needs help.
It’s the way he genuinely just wants to protect the people around him, even if it means getting himself locked up. Wanting to surrender the bag of illegal shit he found in the locker, how he spoke up against child murder when Arthur was explaining the whole situation with Ammit, how he was so set on protecting Layla despite just meeting her, and how he surrendered control to Marc so he doesn’t accidentally hurt anyone else around them.
It’s the way he knows that he’s capable and he’s always wanting and willing to show that he is capable.
It’s the way that he’s … Steven, you know?
((goat gif creds: stevenrogered))
This isn’t even everything but yeah I’m done rambling for now </3 I just love him so much n it’s soft hours for me 🤧 how could you NOT love him??
#moon knight#moon knight series#moon knight thoughts#steven grant#marc spector#moon knight spoilers#jake lockley#mr. knight#Oscar Isaac#it’s soft hours n I love Steven so much#i rambled again sorry#no seriously I don’t take steven slander#steven grant x reader#steven grant x you#marc spector x reader#marc spector x you#marvel#mcu#moon knight episode 2#moon knight episode 1#khonshu#moon knight rambles#moon knight x reader#Steven Grant protection squad <33
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stevetony + "I’ve never loved anybody like I love you." ? (if you want, ofc) [ALSO LET ME JUST SAY I ABSOLUTELY ADORED YOUR COLLEGE AU STEVETONY + "You're not allowed to fall in love with me", it was SO FLUFFY AND CUTE AND FUNNY AND PERFECT IT KILLED ME. The "Baby Slut" T-Shirt had me cackling so much ohmygod. I love your writing!!
I’M GLAD YOU LIKED COLLEGE AU BECAUSE GUESS WHAT YOU GET A SEQUEL (for those of you who haven’t read the first one here is a link)
~
Steve tosses the towel somewhere in the direction of the laundry basket. It probably doesn’t make it but he doesn’t care enough to check because when he turns back around, Tony is making grabby hands at him. He chuckles and climbs back onto the bed, Tony tugging him closer so he can wrap around Steve, clinging to him like a limpet.
“How was that?” he asks, a little nervously. Tony has more experience with sex than Steve can even imagine. “Was that good?”
“Don’t fish for compliments,” Tony says tartly, swatting at Steve’s left pec. “You know you’re the best I’ve ever had.”
“I am?” Steve asks, surprised. He’d thought it was good but the best?
Tony stills. “Steve, you know you’re it for me, right? And that - that makes this special.”
He doesn’t say anything. He knows that he loves Tony and he knows that Tony loves him too but he also knows that Tony gives a little bit of his heart to everyone he meets. And he supposes that, maybe deep down, he’d always kind of thought that Tony would eventually move on from him.
He doesn’t want to say that though. He knows that Tony has insecurities upon insecurities and he doesn’t want to add to that. But Tony must read it in his face or something because he sighs and pushes Steve over onto his back, straddling his waist.
“Listen to me,” Tony says seriously, eyes shining with a sincerity that he only ever uses with Steve. “Listen to me very closely. I have never loved anybody like I love you. Not Rumiko, not Pepper, certainly not Sunset or Ty. You are the one that I want, the only one that I’ll ever want, and maybe that sounds kind of corny - fuck, it probably is corny - but it’s the truth. I. Love. You.”
He punctuates his words by jabbing his finger into Steve’s chest. Steve catches his hand on the last jab, pulling Tony down so he can kiss him. Tony hums, pleased with either himself or Steve, he isn’t sure which.
“You’re it for me too, you know,” Steve says when he pulls away.
“Good. Because Rhodey says I’m like superglue. You can’t get rid of me if you tried.”
Steve frowns. “Didn’t you say that superglue can be dissolved with acetone?”
Tony opens his mouth and then pauses. “That’s beside the point,” he eventually says. “I can’t be dissolved with acetone.” His eyes light up excitedly. “Although did you know that if you use enough hand sanitizer-”
Steve kisses him to shut him up. “I have no idea where that sentence was going,” he mumbles. “But I don’t need to hear it when we’re naked in bed together.”
“You’re no fun,” Tony pouts, sticking out his lower lip.
He thumbs at it, making Tony giggle. “That’s not what you were saying a couple minutes ago.”
Tony gasps dramatically, throwing his hand to his forehead as he swoons. “Why Steven Grant Rogers, are you implying that I’m a - no, it’s just too horrible to even say it.”
Steve catches him before he rolls off the bed and teases, “You’re the one with the Baby Slut t-shirt.”
“It’s the only clean shirt I had.”
“You did laundry two days ago.”
“Lies and slander!”
Steve laughs too but it quickly fades as he takes in the way Tony’s eyes crinkle when he smiles and the way he hiccups when he’s laughed too long. Tony tilts his head, looking at him curiously.
“I really do love you,” Steve says quietly.
Tony beams. “I love you too.”
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Know it all (Sherlock x Reader)
Requested by soverignoblivious
Request: Y’know how in Sherlock, we find out during The Blind Banker episode that everyone in the college Sherlock went to hated him? Could you write a fic where (gender neutral) Reader comforts Sherlock when his old bullies are involved in a case he’s working on and they bully him during that?
“Oh, we just hated him in Uni,” Charles laughed heartily, looking at you socially as he slung an arm around his ‘old friend’ Sherlock.
“Eh, you really haven’t changed a bit,” Charles’ buddy Steven said, “Have you, Holmes?” He glanced over at you as well, “Eh, tell them what we used to call Sherlock here!”
“You’ll laugh at this,” Charles insisted, “We called him Sherlock Holmes-it all. You know, like Knows-it-all-“ He explained stupidly.
You cast another Why am I here look? Over to Sherlock. But Lestrade had already explained that eight high-end, soon-to-be-auctioned cars being stolen out of a high-security garage was very important to Scotland Yard.
“I mean, I don’t even know how you got someone to like you,” Charles snickered, looking at you and then back at Sherlock. However, you noticed that your boyfriend was keeping his eyes on the clues in front of him strictly. “Seriously, you know how irritable this dude is, right?”
“How about you mind your damn business and let him find your car.” You snapped.
Would it be useless to call Lestrade to have them removed? Or would it just be petty and extra? Either way, you could claim that they were interfering with a crime scene, and Anderson would drag them off for you.
At least when Anderson screwed with Sherlock, Lestrade could overhear and hold his employee accountable. Unfortunately, he didn’t have that sort of power over Charles and Steven.
“Woah, Woah,” Steven laughed from your side, “Someone’s feisty,”
“[Name], no talking at the crime scene, it’s distracting.” He said sharply, though you could see clearly that he was just being defensive. “Now, runoff.”
“Where?” You asked timidly,
“Archer’s Street,” He said, stumbling to his feet and taking off in the opposite direction, “Go on, I’ll go find John!”
You counted for a full eight seconds for him to run out the vicinity of you and his bullies.
“Listen here, bastard, and listen real close.” You hissed, your eyes blazing. They stumbled back in shock, “Don’t ever slander my boyfriend like that again, got it? If you weren’t clients, I’d be doing worse than just scolding you.” You stated clearly, “Do you know how many years he spent trying to raise his self-esteem? After all the things you say to his face, I can see why.”
“Chill out, we’re just poking fun,” Charles laughed nervously, “He’s a know-it-all, admit it. It gets annoying-“
“Whether or not Sherlock is annoying to me is not at your discretion,”
“My-“ he said dumbly, “My what?” You just rolled your eyes.
“That’s one more thing I’ve deduced - you’re jealous.” You clicked your tongue, “because you knew immediately that you could never - not in a thousand years - be as smart as Sherlock Holmes.”
The case ended by the end of the night, with the cars tracing back to one of the security guards who had let him and his buddies inside the auction garage in order to pay for his piling debts.
And now that that was out of the way, you and the boys returned to Baker Street. John muttered about his exhaustion and stumbled onto the couch, immediately falling into a sleep.
“C’mon, you must be tired too,” Sherlock said softly, “I’ll walk you down to your flat.” You both descended down the stairs towards 221C, where you resided.
“I gave you a five-minute head-start you know,” He said out-of-the-blue. You just looked up at him in confusion. “And yet you showed up to Archer’s street a full eight minutes after John and I arrived.”
“I’m slow,” You discredited yourself,
“No,” he sighed, “I know you stayed behind to confront Charles and Steven. Why would you do that?”
“Because I care about you, Sherl.” You insisted softly, turning to interlace his long hands with yours. “And you have comforted me a hundred times against people from my past. I finally got to return the favour to you . . . and them.” You smiled mischievously, “Anyway, they had it coming from either me or John soon enough.” He laughed deeply; a low, comforting vibration to your ears.
“Next time,” he advised, kissing you softly goodnight, “Wait until I’m out of earshot if you’re hiding from me.”
#sherlock#sherlockholmes#sherlock x reader#sherlock imagines#sherlock imagine#the blind banker#bbc sherlock#bullies#bullying#sherlock x gender neutral#bbc sherlock imagines
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But no, I really do like the character development that A Single Pale Rose gives to Rose Quartz. (spoilers below the cut!)
The absolute earliest point we’ve seen of Rose or as we know now, Pink Diamond, was in Jungle Moon. We see this snotty brat that wants to be taken seriously as a diamond, but just isn’t. She’s a child that thinks she should have all the things the others do just by merit of being who she is. We see her storm off and get angry, we see her so thoroughly a homeworld diamond, not caring about the consequences for the planetoid Yellow Diamond had been destroying.
Fast forwarding and at some point she either matured enough (but not fully) that White Diamond would trust her with her own colony, or they were so sick of her complaining that they gave her the Earth to shut her up. Considering how she behaves in Can’t Go Back, I’m assuming it’s the former. The Earth is everything she fought for, possibly for entire centuries, to finally get! We don’t know how long came between the Jungle Moon flashback and the establishment of the Earth Colony, but we see a shift in her maturity.
She fell in love with the Earth, it’s life, the Humans. Every aspect of non-gem life fascinated her. I think it’s safe to say Pink Diamond/Rose was in her rebellious phase. She was sick of her society that wouldn't take her seriously, but now she has something that belongs fully to her. The one thing she always wanted. This something is the most beautiful thing she’s ever seen, she becomes enamoured with it because it is so separate from gem culture.
And as we know, she wanted to preserve it. She creates her Human Zoo, Pink thinks she’ll be content with that, give herself some humans to adore in the coming years. But she’s not content, The Human Zoo isn't enough, because it isn't Earth. Colonization goes on but she doesn't want it to. Slowly, she decides she doesn't want to own Earth as a Gem Colony. She wants to own the Earth as is, as the Earth.
“Earth is where you can be anything you want to be.”
That’s the message the Crystal Gems constantly spread, the one planet where a gem can be themself without Homeworld telling them who they should be. Homeworld told Pink Diamond she was to be a powerful Leader, but all she wanted was to live on Earth among the Humans.
And if a Diamond would be viewed as a Leader who was supposed to Colonize Earth, then she couldn’t be a Diamond any more. Her guise as Rose Quartz gave her what she wanted, freedom from Homeworld’s expectations, it let her live among humans. She stood up to herself in this disguise, Pink Diamond was willing to slander herself to begin The Crystal Gem’s Rebellion.
The most important thing was that nobody could ever know who she was, she played both sides. She ordered attacks against humanity and the Crystal Gems to appease the Diamonds, but on the other side she fed them lies about how powerful humans were (Human ‘Cities’, even though ‘Cities’ of humans wouldn’t truly exist for many many more years) and how strong the rebellion was. It wasn’t that Humanity was strong, Pink Diamond knowingly sent troops she knew they could fight off. They difficulty was all to save face before her fellow matriarchs.
And then she has her conversation with Blue and Yellow Diamond.
“You... are a Diamond. Everyone on this planet is looking to you. You don't even have to do anything. Just smile, and wave. Show everyone you are unfazed by this little uprising. Your gems will fall into line, and these Crystal Gems will be no more. As long as you are there to rule, this colony will be completed.”
It’s no mistake that we see Pearl creeping up behind her after this line in the flashback, Blue Diamond’s comment is what pushes Pink Diamond to stage her shattering. Just like before. If Pink Diamond’s duty was to lead, she couldn’t be Pink Diamond any more. If her presence would encourage her gems, then she couldn’t be there to encourage them any more.
And even if she’s matured from Jungle Moon, Pink Diamond is still immature. She could not see the consequences of her actions, she didn’t care about the consequences.
Her ‘shattering’ happens, now she can never be Pink Diamond again, she didn’t want to be. All at once Blue and Yellow Diamond’s hearts break, her court watches their Diamond be taken away by the Rebellion. And she lies to everyone, fully convinced this is the best path to take. She’s young and she’s foolish and she doesn’t expect it to ever come back to haunt her.
Bismuth being bubbled, it makes sense now knowing she probably intended to shatter Pink Diamond with the Breaking Point. Rose/Pink must have felt threatened, she didn’t want the Gems of her court to be destroyed because of her choice. She bubbled Bismuth because of the threat to the Gems she used to lead, Gems she didn’t want to hurt.
Her lies lead to her Court being harmed, it led to the Crystal Gems being hurt, it led to humans losing their lives. The Strawberry Battlefield, their final stand, saw Rose Quartz lose everyone but Pearl, Garnet and Bismuth.
And we see Rose herself expressing she’s not proud of her past, the Rose we see in Flashbacks with Greg has carried the guilt of the gems and Humans who suffered for her lies. She’s stuck with those lies now though, she can’t escape them, they haunt her. She’s too afraid and lacks the emotional maturity to face her consequences.
And bringing everything back to A Single Pale Rose:
“If this is really my world, I want to give it to the Crystal Gems. I want to live here with human beings! I wanna live here with you! We'll both finally be free!”
If this is really my world.
It’s such an important line, because for the entire rest of her life, Rose views the Earth as being hers. She never lost that belief. It makes sense why she saw humans the way she did. In We Need To Talk, Greg is the first person to make her realize that he was just like her.
Greg taught her to look at humans the same way she looks at the other gems, she learned to love humans more deeply than she ever did before.
And that’s one of the two reasons I believe she wanted to have Steven. Rose Quartz knew she didn’t understand humans now, she wanted so badly to understand them as deeply and naturally as Greg did.
Part of the reason she had Steven , I would absolutely say was a desire to escape the consequences and the guilt she’d felt for literal thousands of years, but the other part was that desire to understand humans in the way only a human could.
No matter how you look at it, Steven Quartz Universe IS Rose Quartz/Pink Diamond. She said it herself, he said it himself.
“I'm my Mom, I’m Rose Quartz!”
“Steven... I'm going to become half of you. And I need you to know that every moment you love being yourself, that's me, loving you and loving being you. Because you're going to be something extraordinary. You're going to be a human being.”
Steven is her way of finally understanding the experience of the Earth and of the Humans she’s fallen so in love with. Steven is her way of escaping all her mistakes. And I think part of her hoped that someday, Steven would be smarter than her and stronger than her.
Maybe he would be able to make up for all of her horrible, horrible mistakes.
#;; haley exists i guess#steven universe#su rose quartz#su steven#su pink diamond#steven universe spoilers#a single pale rose spoilers
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The Annual Pagan Origin Debate over Christmas
I once watched what I thought was a really good movie about this exact matter. The movie was made by Kirk Cameron, and was titled "Saving Christmas." Now this movie is not the backbone of this article. I wanted to share what I have said online in this facebook group because I felt very God-inspired when I wrote it.
Recently on a Christian Group on Facebook (intentionally kept nameless), I commented in on a heated debate over the origins of Christmas. There was a large portion of people arguing that we should not participate in Christmas Festivities because they are of Pagan Origin and therefore against God. Some of the aspects of these group's conversations identified Santa Claus as Satan and nit-picked the secular and cultural inclusions of the Christmas Season.
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Steven Hofmeister Who cares what day it is on. We are celebrating the birth of the Messiah, the arrival of our savior. The confusion debate and arguing of pagan not pagan, santa worship, and other madness is all part of the confusion of false teaching and other distraction that has been mentioned all through the bible. Celebrate the King, enjoy the festivities and community spirit, the lost sheep may missing the point but that doesn't mean you don't stand in the field with the flock. Saint Nicolas (Santa Clause) historically was a very Christian man who was not afraid to confront false teachers and phoney prophets, sometimes jerking them right up out their seat to stop them. From my reading he was a large man similar to the imagery of Santa Clause and loved children and commonly rewarded good deeds and behavior with small gifts. Please tell me why that does not make him a rockstar of Christianity. We are not worshiping him, we are just recognizing the good works of a good Christian man while paying tribute the the Almighty King. Every King has his Knights, I guess that would make Nicolas the Knight before Christmas.... 😁 Posted on a Facebook Group - Group name removed out of respect to the group.
I prefer using this scripture to explain this kind of thing. The Scripture is talking about matters such as circumcision as a requirement for being saved as false teaching, but the Apostle Paul's statement in this scripture rings true for this as well.
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But we who live by the Spirit eagerly wait to receive by faith the righteousness God has promised to us. 6 For when we place our faith in Christ Jesus, there is no benefit in being circumcised or being uncircumcised. What is important is faith expressing itself in love. 7 You were running the race so well. Who has held you back from following the truth? 8 It certainly isn’t God, for he is the one who called you to freedom. 9 This false teaching is like a little yeast that spreads through the whole batch of dough! Galatians 5:5-9
(NLT)
It is my perspective from my studies that God does not want his followers to quibble over such little details. Where it is true that some of the secular traditions that have developed from old Pagan festivals and other sources, so have many of the family and cultural differences that we share as humans came from sources other the Christian roots. Though there are aspects of Christianity that require a deep seriousness and understanding of the final coming of the King, Christmas is meant for us to be joyous, thankful, and celebrate the arrival of the Messiah. Another one of Paul's teaching in 1 Timothy I find to be relevant to this is in his instruction to Timothy on False Teaching and True Riches.
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Teach these things, Timothy, and encourage everyone to obey them. 3 Some people may contradict our teaching, but these are the wholesome teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. These teachings promote a godly life. 4 Anyone who teaches something different is arrogant and lacks understanding. Such a person has an unhealthy desire to quibble over the meaning of words. This stirs up arguments ending in jealousy, division, slander, and evil suspicions. 5 These people always cause trouble. Their minds are corrupt, and they have turned their backs on the truth. To them, a show of godliness is just a way to become wealthy. 6 Yet true godliness with contentment is itself great wealth. 7 After all, we brought nothing with us when we came into the world, and we can’t take anything with us when we leave it. 8 So if we have enough food and clothing, let us be content. 9 But people who long to be rich fall into temptation and are trapped by many foolish and harmful desires that plunge them into ruin and destruction. 10 For the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil. And some people, craving money, have wandered from the true faith and pierced themselves with many sorrows. 1 Timothy 6:2-10
(NLT)
Let's not argue over such small things, ignore false teachings and enjoy the community, joy, and fellowship of the season. Use the season to share the wonders and grace of Jesus Christ, Love your Neighbor, learn from each other's cultural differences, you may just find that they are not much different than your own when you get to the bottom of it.
May God Bless you and your family this wonderful Christmas Season. Let's bring Christ's Glory to the world in the new year. - Pastor Steve
Rev. Steven D. Hofmeister, CPO Pastor Steven D. Hofmeister, CPO is the Lead Pastor, Founder, and Executive Officer of Diakonos Independent Ministries of Maryland.
Pastor Steve is an ordained Independent Non-Denominational Christian Officiant Minister through the Christian Leaders Alliance.
Pastor Steve has over 10+ years of experience in commercial private security and event security. He has served as uniformed/and plain-clothes security for houses of worship throughout the Greater Baltimore, Maryland area.
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http://dudeblade.tumblr.com/post/166151533694/some-of-my-personal-thoughts
Kudos to anyone who can hype themselves up for volume 5, because after how much of a letdown volume 4 was for me, I don’t want to risk myself getting disappointed. It made me get angry at a… certain part in volume 4, and overhyping myself probably isn’t going to be good for my health.
I don’t buy this for a fucking second: All you’ve done is lie and ignore facts just so you can claim to be disappointed and shove your agenda down people’s throats. You want to be disappointed so you can berate the show and as you have shown, you’ll do anything to keep up that narrative.
In all honesty, you should just go to one of the other toxic fandoms like Voltron or Steven Universe: At least the people there know not to take your ass seriously.
Look, these guys have made a name for themselves. As much as people would like to think that Roosterteeth is this massive company, they’re still just an indie company with a (relatively) small amount of people, and not a whole lot of effort going to the right places.
And yet you set up standards that not even big budget shows with large groups of people and massive companies backing them could live up to and when someone calls you out, you throw a hissy fit. Remember when I pointed out that RWBY was doing just as well as shows like Korra and such despite the numerous disadvantages the show has? You threw a hissy fit and lied throughout the whole thing. And yet you think I’ll take this seriously? The way I see it: you’re starting to get it through your fucking skull that your voice is not only a part of a vocal minority that is growing more despised everyday but said voice is being exposed in their bullshit and their credibility is tanking.
Boo fucking hoo.
Red vs. Blue was their first project. They told so much with so little. They didn’t have famous voice actors or fancy fight animations, they just did it in a Halo engine. I explain this because, if it hadn’t been for this, they would never be as big as it is now.
You talk as though RT only got famous off the work of another. Red Vs. Blue succeeded because it was funny and endearing and is still followed and loved to this day due to years of fantastic comedic timing and writing. And if I may point out: The only redeeming factor about RWBY was it’s action scenes in the first Volume. It only survived because of the action scenes which gave them enough time to develop and grow.
Nobody wants to see the same repetitiveness that is coming out of their (relatively) new flagship show. It’s starting to get a bit repetitive. Establishing character moments for characters that have already been established, introducing characters when we already have enough characters who don’t have enough development. How long until even the most dedicated fan gets tired of the same old “Just wait! You’ll get your LGBT+ Representation. Trust us!†and joins the overly critical part of the rwde tag (Which is basically just the crtq tag to be honest (HEY-YO!))?
Never happened. Characters were never reintroduced that way. Seriously, name one instance.
While I might agree with that: The RWDE tag has proven time and time again they don’t know what the concept of a “one off” character is. Characters like CFVY, NDGO, SSN and so on have been cited as characters without development when they were never meant to be developed at all.
And what do you say about fans who have stuck this long? Weiss rose? hawkeyedflame? They are all examples of long term fans that go against you rnarrative. What does that say when the few who do leave do so for petty reasons like the setting changed, the show got darker or that a character died?
Gee, I don’t remember the last time anyone using the crtq tag sucide baited someone. Or lied, Or misinformed. Or attacked the creators. Or attacked someone for having a different opinion. Or showing a lack of human decency. guess you couldn’t stand there being a better version of you out there huh?
How much longer can this keep happening? It’s starting to feel as if they don’t want to plan ahead. The recent Yang Trailer fiasco being enough proof. They could have had done all the trailers a month ahead of time so that we could have time to let it sink in, and talk about it and stuff. But instead, we’re jumping right into it, then getting the official Volume 5 trailer right after. This scheduling thing is starting to become a bit of an issue here. They seem to write things without thinking ahead of how this would play out.
What fiasco? The trailer isn’t even out yet and mind you, the ORIGINAL trailers were spaced the same way. SO if you had no problems then, you should have no problems now.
And considering the RWDE tag talks about shit like the “asset stealing” and Shane’s Letter like their hotcakes: you don’t care about that kind of discussion. And considering it takes the average trailer a day to be dissected and reviewed by everyone: Its life span isn’t as long as you claim it to be.
“Hey! How should we write this scene here?â€
“The one where Blake is about to open up to her parents?â€
“Yeah, actually, we didn’t have the time yesterday to write what she was going to say, can we have Sun interrupt her instead?â€
“Sure, I guess. What should it be for? Important information? The White Fang are there, maybe he saw something-â€
“No. Just have him use some excuse because he’s eavesdropping. We have this hilarious joke planned out where Blake’s sister-â€
“Mother.â€
“-Whatever, does the exact same thing. It’ll be funny!â€
“Wait, you had the time to plan that, but not the time to figure out what Blake is going to say to her father? Why not ask Arryn? She knows Blake inside and out. Maybe she has some suggestions.â€
“What? And have her cut into my-â€
“Our.â€
“MY writing pay? HA! No thank you!â€
“Alright man. You’re the head writer.â€
“Yeah. Yeah I am.â€
One Week Later…
“Okay, so how about we have Sun try to explain that he had valuable information about the White Fang-â€
*THUNK!*
“Why do you have your head on your desk right now?â€
Except if you look at what Blake said in EPisode 11, you’d know from the context of both conversations that what Blake said to Sun about leaving her team because she didn’t want to hurt them (You know, the question ghira asked) I her answer. And if ypu paid any attention to anything that isn’t a white male for you to screech at, you'd notice that Ghira and Kali have the EXACT same relationship as Blake and Sun does: Ghira being the serious, driven but socialy awkward one and Kali being the easy going, joking, social adapted one. Thus that joke is to show their paralells. If you were as critical as you say, you’d notice it. I did the very instant it happened, why can’t you?
I hope you liked my sketch of how I personally think that whole discussion went down. I had fun writing it.
And I had fun using it to show you have nno critical skills whatsoever. Keep going, you’re just proving me right. I would have also said: “Probably the same way a political party slanders it’s opponent like a group of immature children.”
And speaking of fun, I think that the writers aren’t having any of it. I think they need some new blood in the writing room, and maybe get some women into their female-centered show or maybe some people who aren’t white to help better portray their entire fictional race that acts as a stand-in for ALL RACIAL MINORITIES. - I’m still bitter about that if you couldn’t tell.Â
Does that mean that Steven universe should kick off Rebecca Suagr because Steven is a male?
Or that their shouldn’t be a single male writer for MLP?
Or that characters like Tex and Carolina should have never been made because RvB is male centered?
Or that Monty, a man, shouldn’t have made a female centered show at all?
See, when you automatically assume that only women can write women and vice versa, not only do you limit what a creator do as well as spit on RWBY’s message of freedom of expression but it also implies you think that women and men are entirely different and that they can’t share any personality traits or experiences or anything the other gender. Which is basically the definition of sexism: Same thing goes with the race thing. And funniest thing is: Both women and racial minorities disagree with you so you exposed yourself as a racist and a sexist for nothing.
How much longer can the fanbase be baited for the representation that they outright promised several times? I mean, have you seen the notes section of this post for their Q&A? There’s a split between the people who are (rightfully) pointing out that they said this last time, and still haven’t delivered, and others who are basically saying “They said ‘yes.’ Now shut up!†How much longer can they keep this up? How much longer until even their most die-hard fans start to question them on their ability to write a character in the LGBT+ community? At this rate, I don’t think it can last for very long.
So the side that ahs attacked them numerous times while demanding they make a Mary Sue while demanding it e clevery written is better than the side that respects the creators wishes and treats the as human beings? Because considering you have used LGBT people despite not being LGBT: You shouldn’t be one to talk.
And there you go again, putting yourself. You do seriously think that every LGBT person who watches RWBY watches it for an LGBT character and not the animaton, the music, the characters and their personalities, the plot or the world? Because if you do (and considering your history, you do): You think every LGBT person thinks the same way, acts the same way and wants the same thing. That’s homophobia you idiot. Congrats on seeing nothing but their sexuality and disrespecting their individuality.
Look, these guys seriously need to either get their act together, or someone needs to create some competition major for them. It’s getting obvious that they can be lazy with how they’re scheduling things because there’s no other American-Made Anime around to compete with them. If someone can create a show that can compete with RWBY for a Streamy, then they would be forced to improve and take harder criticisms.
Except that even in Japan, RWBY is booming even with conpetitors like My hero Academia, a Shounen anime written by a guy taught by the writer of One Piece, and Dragon ball Super, the successor to the anime that BIRTHED SHounen as we know it. It has been acknowledged by the creator of Blazblue of all people And that’s all with an admitted shotty translation. So what’s your excuse for that?
And by harsher criticism, you mean your personal opinions you want to force on the CRWBY. Because not once have you made a critique that wasn’t riddled with misinformation, edited parts and even outright lying all while even admitting you have a personal bias. You don’t care about RWBY: You just want to control.
It’ll be a win for everyone. Rwde will finally tone it down a notch because their voices are being heard and taken into bigger consideration, anti-rwde will calm down due to initial rwde’s calmness, fans will see improvement, and the actual show will improve. The show has to improve. Because if all it’s going to do is introduce new characters to avoid giving development to ones that need it (Sage and Scarlet), then those characters may as well just be killed off… I hope to every single God that I didn’t just give them an idea.
Except RWDE doesn’t deserve to have their voices heard. You’ve all done irredeemable shit to the point I salivate at the thought of the LGBT character being introduced so I can indulge in my sadism. You’ve all shown a disturbing lack of human decency and respect to the point you think it okay to suicide bait people and use the dead for your own purposes. You lost the right to have your voices heard a long time ago: to the point you’re finally understanding youll never be heard so you pull this bullshit to manipulate people into hearing.
Well, let me say: You could start apologizing right now and continue until the end of Volume 9 and you wouldn’t be forgiven so nice fucking try.
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The Ordinary Life of an Ex-Super Villain
Chapter 1
Leaning on my hand, I stare vacantly out the windows of the coffee shop. It had been about a month since I quit being a super villain and started to live life like a normal man. It was a cool gig, but I was never good at it. Quitting hasn’t been a walk in the park either. When you’re on the news for being the worst villain or when you have serious looking scars over your eye, it’s kind of hard finding a job.
Thankfully, Mr. Crown was kind enough to give me a job at his small little coffee shop. It’s a quaint little café with filled bookshelves, nifty little Knick knacks and other simple atmospheric things for his customers. The floor was a warm hard wood and the walls a nice mix of light and dark grey. Despite being an ex-super villain, I had to admit, the vibe was calming and nice. I check my watch and notice that lunch was about to start. I comb back my hair and wait for one of the regulars. I turn to get some coffee running but stop as the sound of the shop keeper’s bell begins to ring.
“Welcome to Crown’s coffee shop!” I greet as I turn to face the customer. Who I see causes a gut retching pain to begin in my stomach. It was the super hero that had kicked my ass countless times, Jared Masterson! I take a deep breath and force a smile. “How can I serve you today?” Jared turns to me and frowns viciously. I knew frown. That was the frown he made before he slammed me. Before I had a chance to react, Jared pulls me out from behind the counter and slams me, right on schedule. The slam made some of the bookshelves wobble and a few of the trinkets to fall off their display. Mr. Crown come out of his office to find me on the floor and Jared on top of me with his goofy looking smile.
“Greetings, citizen! I, Captain Masterson, found this dastardly villain masquerading as a worker in an attempt to steal from your establishment!” He shouts in his annoying “super hero” voice. Mr. Crown rubs his temples lightly before taking a deep breath.
“Captain Masterson, that’s not a villain… that’s my employee. Now, I’m going to ask you kindly to release my employee before I call the authorities.” He says in a cool and calm manner. Jared frowns before releasing me. I lift myself off the floor and take a moment to dust myself off and check for any injuries. It was technically impossible for me to get hurt due to a super serum I tested during my time as a villain but I wasn’t sure if it would wear off or not. I motion to Mr. Crown that I was fine and he heads back into his office. I look outside and sure enough, there were people watching. I hated this. Now, everyone has a camera and posts pictures of me being a failure on social media. #worstvillainintheworld #whyeventry. It was such a shit feeling, was one of the reasons why I turned in the death ray. I walk back behind the counter and comb my hair back.
“Let’s try this again. Welcome to Crown’s coffee shop. How can I serve you today?” I say clearing my throat. Jared walks over to the counter and scans the menu.
“I’ll take a large coffee, six sugars, some cream, hold the poison.”
“Will that be for here or to go?”
“To go, I’ve got lives to save. But it’s not like you would know that.” I sigh and start making his order as other customers begin to enter the building. I walk back with his order and start ringing him up. While I’m pushing the buttons on the register, Jared begins to examine the coffee with his x-ray vision.
“Is there a problem, Captain Masterson?” one of the other customers asks as she taps on his enormous muscles.
“As a matter of fact, there is! It appears our villain is still awful at following directions. I told him to hold the poison.”
“Dude, seriously? I just made it in front of you! The coffee’s fresh too!” I point out. He takes off the lit and takes a large sniff before throwing his drink onto my shirt. A portion of the crowd begins to laugh and cheer while the other half just stare at me and Jared. “Are you kidding me?! What the hell is your problem?!” I shout as coffee begins to stain my shirt. Mr. Crown runs back out his office and assesses the situation. Without a second thought, he pulls out his phone and begins to call someone. Within minutes an entire swat team arrives and walks into the building.
“We got a report of a villain in the area?”
“He’s right there,” Mr. Crown says pointing to Jared. The cops roll their eyes and lock their gaze onto me. I knew the drill. I sigh and place my hands behind my head and get to my knees. “Wait, what are you doing?!” he shouts as they place me in handcuffs. They shove me into a paddy wagon and I begin my trek to St. Johns maximum security prison. Once a villain, always a villain.
It was around six when someone came to post my bail. It was weird to be leaving prison legally vs escaping with my former partners. To my surprise, it was Mr. Crown.
“I want to apologize for-“
“Don’t apologize. I’m used to it by now. Honestly, I should be thanking you for bailing me out. Listen Mr. Crown, now that J- I mean Captain Masterson knows I work at your coffee shop, he’ll be back to take me back to prison, so if you want me to resign or fire me, I completely understand.” Crown shakes his head and smiles.
“Why would I want my best employee to leave? Don’t worry about Captain Masterson, just come to work like usual and if he wants to cause trouble, I’ll make sure they arrest the right villain.” Mr. Crown says with a smile. I say my goodbyes and begin making my way back to my studio apartment. While walking home, I pick up some take out and a movie. I knew Jared was following me but I didn’t want to give him a reason to beat me up again. I activate one of my old fake distress signals and Jared quickly rushes off.
Opening the door to my apartment, it became very apparent on how empty it was with out all my lab equipment and “weapons”. I had a day off tomorrow and had a few extra dollars left from the villain’s union. I scribble a to-do list and place my take out in front of the television. I feed Dr. Whiskers, my bangle cat, and take a seat on the couch. About half way through the movie I get a text from one of my old cell mates.
Dr. Cold- check the news! Also, grabbing a beer with the guys this Wednesday, you in??
I sigh. I know it’s going to be slander. I just know it. I pull out my laptop and go to Planet News. But much to my surprise the slander wasn’t directed at me. It was at Jared!
Captain Douche-bag!
Credible sources say that hero, Captain Masterson, was seen at a local coffee shop assaulting and harassing former villain, Steven Salt. One eye witness reported that Salt was simply doing his duties as a barista when he was assaulted.
This was nuts! I scroll down the comment and much to my dismay, a few of them were in support of me. I mean the rest of them were trash talking me but there a few who were supporting me. I close my laptop and smile as I return to my movie.
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