#no one’s at fault but u feel like an over sensitive bitch lmao | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

meltwonu · 4 years

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| 🎃 𝕸𝖔𝖓𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝕸𝖆𝖘𝖍 🎃 |

↪ ✦ bitch ✦

this chapter pairing; warlock!seungkwan x witch!reader

genre&warnings; warlock!seungkwan, witch!reader, enemies!au(not hate fucking tho), hallucinations/tripping, high sex, cockwarming, overstimulation, forced orgasm, the smallest bit of switch!seungkwan, dirty talk 🥴

notes; it’s the way the draft for this chapter was completely different for me 🤪 He was a lot meaner in the draft but my natural thought was like HE WOULDNT BE THAT MEAN 😩😩 lmao fjkhkfh also can we just have a laugh at the fact seungkwan was doing a we remember kpop vlive and todays his monster mash fic day? thank u sir for all the content 🤣💕 As always, thank you for your interest with Monster Mash~ 3 chapters left! Say a prayer that maybe drunk me will post the last three in order!!! Have a great weekend! Be safe!! I love you!!! 💕 👻 🎃

word count; ~1700

chapters; 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - x - x - x

we do things a different way;

it’s up to you and it’s up to me

i’m your bitch, you’re my bitch!

boom, boom!

You hurry down the dirt path towards the small home where you knew Seungkwan would be; adrenaline coursing through your veins.

Of course this would happen.

You let out a frustrated noise, hoping that you were right in assuming Seungkwan had taken the spell book from your own home; there was no time to waste if your assumptions were wrong.

“That fucking bastard, I swear when I get my hands on him!” Mumbling angrily, you enter the clearing in front of his small abode; hands balled up into fists at your sides.

In fairness, part of it was probably your fault for leaving the spell book unattended and without a protection spell to keep it safe, but also, you’d only been gone for about ten minutes.

Unfortunately, that’d been enough time for Seungkwan to sneak in and take the book for himself.

You’d known Seungkwan for a while now and you’d even go so far as to say from your early teens. He was always using his magic for silly pranks and while he’d never done anything harmful with his magic yet, there were definitely spells in your spell book that could be used for harm if in the wrong hands.

You march up to his door, forcing it open as you storm in.

“Where the fuck are you, Seungkwan!?”

Scanning the small space, you walk around, no sign of the male anywhere in sight. You head up the small set of stairs to the second floor; noting one of the two doors was cracked open slightly with light coming from inside.

You all but sprint towards it, flinging the door open as you find Seungkwan holding a vial of liquid with the spell book open in front of him on the table. “You son of a bitch, Seungkwan!”

“Hey, wait, don’t----”

You slap the vial out of his hands as it knocks another one off of the table, plumes of purple and red smoke filling the air as the two of you start to cough violently. “Fuck, why did you do that!?” He shouts, trying to cover his mouth and nose from the odd smelling smoke.

“What the hell are you trying to do!?” You scream back, eyes watering as you, too, try to cover your mouth and nose.

“Fuck!” His fingertips wrap around your wrist as he tugs hard, pulling you out of the room and into the one directly across from it. He slams the door once the two of you are inside, coughs and gags filling up the space.

“Seungkwan, what---what the hell!? What was t-that!?” You shoot him an incredulous look, brows furrowed when he starts to look a little weird in your eyes.

Did Seungkwan always have four eyes? Or was it eight?

“Damn it!” Seungkwan mutters, sitting down on the bed in the middle of the room. “It was just one of your stupid illusion spells, okay? And maybe if you didn’t slap the damn vial out of my hands and make it knock off whatever god knows was in that other vial, I wouldn’t be seeing two of you right now!”

“Wait? You’re----You’re seeing t-things too?”

“Well, duh. I mean I don’t think it’s supposed to be quite like this but then again neither of the liquids in those vials were meant to mix on the floor either.”

You stumble over to the bed where Seungkwan sits, mouth hanging open as you stop in front of him. Leaning down, you stop until you’re face to face with him, shaky fingers reaching out to touch his cheeks where his other two eyes seemed to be.

“You have, um, four eyes?” You whisper.

“Oh, god. What did those vials do.” Groaning, he flops back onto the bed. “I don’t know what the hell that mixture is doing but it’s not good.”

You sit on the bed next to him, throat oddly dry.

There’s a weird warmness that floods your senses at the same time the room starts to shift; body swaying slightly as you let out a soft moan.

“Seungkwan, there’s s-something weird h-happening…”

“Oh no, don’t tell me you’re feeling it too…”

There’s two things you always promised yourself.

One: Keep the spell book safe.

Two: Don’t fuck Seungkwan. Even if you thought he was really handsome.

“Stop moving, damn it.” Seungkwan growls; hands on your hip as he keeps you in place. You drool slightly in response, head rolling and blown out pupils finding it hard to focus on the male when he had two heads. “M-me? You’re the one who w-won’t stop moving!”

You sit in Seungkwan’s lap, his cock snug inside of your pussy. His lap is exorbitantly covered in your wetness as the two of you stay unmoving; accusing each other of moving every few minutes. Or so what you both thought.

God only knew how much time had already passed.

Blinking slowly, you convince yourself you’re as still as a stone; soft giggles spilling from your lips. “What---what the hell are you laughing at?” Seungkwan mumbles, pupils shaking as he tries to focus on your swaying body.

“I’m---I’m suuuuuper still right now. Can’t you tell?”

“No, you literally w-won’t stop moving. How many times am I going to say i-it?”

Groaning in response, you swivel your hips slightly, “No, see idiot, that was me moving!” Seungkwan’s already overly sensitive; moans spilling from his lips at the simple movement.

“This is the worst, I can’t believe you’re sitting on my cock like this right now. I mean you’re hot, yeah, but fuck.”

“Wow, thanks Seungkwan, that made me feel great.”

The two of you fall into a somewhat comfortable silence and you find yourself slowly leaning down until your head rests against his shoulder. You can’t stop the drool that pools on his skin underneath your mouth; eyes focused on the wall that seems to warp endlessly.

“Seungkwan…”

“Hmm?”

“I think I want to cum.”

“Okay. Go ahead.”

“Okay.”

You lift your head from his shoulder, a trail of saliva connecting your mouth to his skin making you laugh. “Oops.”

Seungkwan’s blunt nails dig into the skin of your waist, mouth parted slightly. “Didn’t even have to do anything and you’re already gonna cum, huh?” You reach a hand down between your bodies, a shocked expression on your face when you feel just how wet you really were. “I’m---s-soaking…”

“I can tell.”

Your fingers rub circles on your clit, loud moans and whines falling from your lips at the way your body is already on the edge of an orgasm. “Ngh, ‘m already c-close…” Your eyes clamp shut as you start swiveling your hips; odd patterns dancing behind your eyelids as you start to feel the tension snap.

“Ah, Seungkwan!”

He feels your walls fluttering around him and despite him trying to resist all of his urges, he can’t deny the way he wants to press you into the sheets underneath him.

So much for self control, he thinks.

It only takes a split second before Seungkwan is using all of his strength to reverse your positions as your back meets the bedsheets. You let out a choked sob as the pleasure continues to wash over you and Seungkwan starts to chase his own pleasure as he starts fucking you.

The sound of your wetness makes you blush a little as Seungkwan chuckles under his breath. “Don’t worry, I know this isn’t all my doing. I’m not that big of a jackass.” You open your bleary eyes; attempting to focus on Seungkwan as the ceiling behind him turns into a black hole. “Uh---uh huh…”

The remnants of your orgasm start to ebb away and you honestly can't even tell when your fingers went still on your clit, but you close your eyes, moving your hands to his forearms. “You okay?” He asks.

“Yeah, s’just everything’s f-fuzzy and--and it feels like I’m f-falling…”

Seungkwan fucks into you faster, brows furrowed. “Shit, I--I’m already close t-too.”

A weird wave of emotions wash over you and you find yourself oddly wanting to dominate Seungkwan. “Yeah? Gonna cum? You get to fuck my pussy for what, 2 seconds, and you’re already close? You’re so weak, baby boy. But okay, go ahead.”

You laugh deliriously, nails digging into the skin of his forearms as he lets out a choked sob. “Ah, ‘m s-sorry, I just--I can’t help i-it…” He whines, overcome with an odd feeling, himself.

“I know you can’t help it, baby boy. You’re just so easy.”

His moans become breathy and he finds himself mentally trying to fight off the way he wants you to keep talking to him.

Seungkwan bites his lip, growling. “Fuck!” His hips piston into you, cock throbbing as he finally cums. The feeling makes you moan and Seungkwan quickly finds himself annoyed almost as quickly as he felt himself wanting to submit to you.

He places his thumb on your clit as his orgasm washes over him, rubbing harsh circles on the nub as your back bows off the bed and his hips stutter.

“Ah, S-Seungkwan, wa---wait, I--I can’t, I’m t-too sensitive…” You mewl, thighs shaking as the sting of overstimulation starts to bleed into pleasure quicker than you can process.

“Don’t care, you’re gonna cum again. I know you want to.”

And you hate how right he is.

Your choked cries mix with his sultry groans and when your second orgasm hits you, it feels like it lasts forever.

You can only assume that Seungkwan feels exactly what you’re feeling.

It takes a second for your body to finally go slack and your chest heaves in deep breaths. “O-oh my… g-god…”

Seungkwan groans, pulling out of you as he lays down next to you in bed, completely spent as the room continues to spin. “It feels like I’m falling but I’m--I’m not...” He whispers. Your thighs continue to tremble even when you sit up, slumping forward slightly as you gain some of your senses back.

You turn to Seungkwan, watching as he starts to get overcome with the desire to sleep.

“Are you tired, Seungkwan?” He only nods once, eyes already closing as he gives in.

“I jus’ needa s-sleep for--for one minute...” Seungkwan mumbles.

You had to get the book before he got up.

Whether or not your body wanted to cooperate.

When Seungkwan wakes up, he doesn’t know how long it’s been.

His head is pounding and he’s naked is all he knows.

“What... happened?” He whispers to himself; eyes dancing over to the window.

It was still night time....

...Ah, shit! The book!

Seungkwan gets up from the bed, tripping over his own feet as he all but rips the door open to find the door to his study still open. He sighs frustratedly, turning back to get dressed before he assessed the situation.

Clearly, the two of you had experienced something bizarre together. That was for sure.

Once he gets his clothes back on, he heads over to his study, already noticing that some of the things on his shelves were gone. He groans, knowing you’d taken important ingredients that it’d taken him weeks to collect.

A small note sits on his table, held down by a small dagger and he leans in close to read what it says; rolling his eyes almost immediately.

“An eye for an eye, bitch! x”

#seungkwan smut #seventeen smut #svt smut #seungkwan scenarios #seungkwan imagines #monstermash!svt #warlock!seungkwan #seventeen scenarios #seventeen imagines #svt imagines #svt scenarios #seungkwan #seventeen fic

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bessmarvins · 4 years

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For the ask game: 1, 3, & 37 :D

HELLO thank u!!!

1. celeb crush uhhhh i have had so many obsessions over the years but no current ones!! tbh i really can’t think of one rn i know one will probably come across my dash in .2 seconds and ill reblog and tag it but im blanking here. gonna give u a throwback crush and say tim mf riggins in the friday night lights series.

3. OKAY BITCH i just got riled up about something a girl posted on instagram lmao. she was in my sorority and is two years younger than me so she graduated from this yr. she just posted on her story about how people are posting throwbacks to graduation and she said “its truly making the class of 2020 SO SAD that we don’t get to have that same experience” and “if you’re gonna post them, maybe at least wish us well? say something nice? just a thought” like...LMAO bitch?! it’s not my fault coronavirus fucked us over! i haven’t even posted a throwback pic but i think thats so fucking stupid. like sorry your feelings are hurt but people can post whatever they want to reminisce on good times in their lives. we’re ALL missing out on shit because of quarantine, people have lost their jobs, people have lost their lives, people are risking their lives everyday, and your biggest concern is someone made you sad becauese you couldnt walk across a stage? yeah. i get it. it sucks. i’d be pissed too. but i’m also pissed that i pay over a thousand dollars a month in rent for an apartment im not living in right now and i cant see any of my friends lol. you got your diploma, you still graduated. it could be worse. my mom died less than 2 years ago and i was a wreck on sunday, you didnt see me post “could you guys maybe not post pics with your moms on mothers day? it makes me sad” because i’m not a selfish little bitch lol like just stay off social media if it affects you that much. we can’t tiptoe around every single person who follows us to make sure we dont hurt ur lil feelings over something we can’t control. you’ll be fine boo. like “dont post pics of you and your significant other bc im single” lol fuck off. i really am a very sensitive considerate person and i care about other people’s feelings but like??? come the fuck on get some perspective its instagram. would it REALLY make you less upset about the circumstances if they mention you in a post???

UPDATE after i typed all that: she posted another story saying if you post a throwback grad pic and dont mention the class of 2020 in it “you’re very mean.” lmao ok girl didn’t realize it was kindergarten you were graduating from.

37. yes. i was such a goodie two shoes back in the day but i did in fact go to the principals office and get lunch detention for 3 days for forging a signature on my agenda (which served as a hall pass) so i could go to class late while i was just bullshitting with two of my friends in the bathroom lmao

#another post where alexis brings up her dead mom because i am actually nancy drew reincarnate

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comradecowplant · 3 years

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My mom pissed off her friend (who i am also independently friends with) but the friend is not mad at me, bc i offered her support after the dumb (on both their parts tbh but mostly my mom and a rando shit stirrer's fault) argument that has them mad.... but now every time I mention her my mom makes passive aggressive comments about how their friendship is rocky and it makes me so! fucking! uncomfortable!!! I think she expects me to have taken her side, when in reality she was in the wrong, and I have my doubts that she gave more than a "sorry you feel that way" """"apology"""", thus chrissie still being mad at her. Idk I just feel like I'm expected to do emotional labor for my mom in this situation, and it makes me physically fucking queasy. the next time she does it I'm gonna go off, which I'm sure will be countered with an old fave parent tactic of "sOrRy i'M sUcH a TeRriBLe pErSoN aNd MoThEr" and she's going to make me feel bad about sticking to my principles and supporting my friend which will spark a month-long depression spiral BECAUSE I AM EXTREMELY SENSITIVE ESPECIALLY ABOUT CONFLICT BECAUSE OF [never officially diagnosed brain stuff] AND THE FUCKED UP ENVIRONMENT OF OUR HOUSE B4 YOU & DAD DIVORCED SO LEAVE ME OUT OF YOUR FIGHT!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS EMPATH* ABUSE, LEAVE ME ALONE AND DO GENUINE REFLECTION OVER WHY YOUR FRIEND WAS HURT BY YOUR ACTIONS AND APOLOGIZE IN A MEANINGFUL WAY, I CAN GIVE YOU ADVICE ON HOW TO DO THAT BUT YOU MUST ASK WITH YOUR WORDS NOT WITH DEPRESSING SIDE COMMENTS 😣😣😣😣😣😣😣😣😣😣😣

* I do not believe in empaths but *sigh* my mom does, and has had a long-running theory that I am one. Actually mom it's just depression, trauma, anxiety, ADHD, and/or almost certainly a dollop or two of autism, not magic. (she straight up asked me once if I think I'm on the spectrum, which I do think bc Reasons, & like...... if you have to ask, the answer is probably yes lmao & it would have been great to have been tested as a kid since you clearly have had suspicions and every day of my life has been a challenge 🙃🙃🙃 but ANYWAY I don't think I've ever been open about that, here or with anyone, so yeah be nice to me, u rich bitches with health insurance and fancy oFfiCiAL diagnoses...........)

#😔 my mom ruined my mood with her shitty comments this morning so i could use some good vibes from my sweet little followers

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misterbitches · 3 years

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@flootweed

ATOTS

That's super fucking romantic? Like tragic but in a nice way. i love that shit. i'm a monogamous slut for romance pghiosuag even tho we have to learn to live alone too but it's just like the NOTION is nice?!??! awwww i told my mom that SOPHIE's gf was like "she died taking a picture of the moon" and how it was like idk. the gf was just processing it and she thought it was romantic and my mom was like "wow.....depressing" bc think she thought it was stupid millenial shit i was like no mother doent u see she died in the BEAUTY LMAO but then i told her jessica walter's husband died the year before and then she died and she was like "aw...kind of romantic" LMAOOOO i guess two people have to die. why did i tell this story? i am so sorry. the show ended today right (ep 10?) i didn't realize it was that short. so i hope it was a happy ending? (tell me) i understand why you love the atmos! it's like, not really been done. there's this BL that i hear isn't too great but it does take place in a rural part of thailand and there's way less budget. a lot of ppl seem to like it. ep 6 LW / LW in gen gotta be honest, rushed through it. i knew spoilers from jump cause BL spoilers are just absolutely nothing and sometimes ur just like i need to know. i do not understand the ~silently lookin 4 u~ trope it always backfires and is also DUMB. so happy about tiffy. a girl who likes girls but ends up with a man bc of mommy and also the man is ok....it's me. she's gorgeous and actually [h*lf] gay so it's great. god ok i feel so old again. lmaooo but i was like obsessed with lady gaga for that reason (dont ask...also how i got kinda popular on tumblr way back in the day) and shes just absolutely fucking beautiful and bad ass. (which kind of doesnt helpcos they r all skinnty but that's FINEEEE) right? i mean like i guess cos we knew abt it? i can see why he was so pissed off, too? i mean i'm so fucking like...sensitive to being told what to do so i was angry for him from jump. i guess i was also looking at it different wholetime cos i knew the spoilers? i'm assuming u did too lmao. so we knew hed be pissed and leave. and frankly that's what sib gets. just for you my friend i will watch it and update. i think MANY times in shows in gen but it is something you notice a lot in BL bc they are just absolute novices most times. in this case, gene's actor mostly well (and i like him as a person just cos he was on that thai 3 girls in a car show and used to date on eof them lmao) can act so i will look over that scene to see how sib's actor plays off him. but the pausing in between sentences or for so long even decent actors or actors doing better. kao is not bad, not great so they will talk slowly because dramatic acting but the problem is most times it's too long. even if the person is an adept actor it won't always work and YES THEN THAT MEANS THE EDITOR COMES IN AND SNIP SNIP SNIP! it's too long. and sometimes it just does not work even if you can act. but it is GLARING when they cant or are average (someoe said this about tharntype and my god lmao tharn..is...so...slow...in...talking...the actor idk his name it's one of em, the other one with the nose (type) is....different not better but he certainly does not talk as slow. they arent bad but they are not good so.) also sometimes they are forgetting their lines. some ppl find this charming. clearly we do not lmao. what is their relation? what is going on there? i don't have a problem with stepbrothers as long as they didn't grow up with that sibling bond. many times blended families really have to watch out for that kind of fraternizing but it's always when theyre older and teenagers bc they didnt grow up w/ each other....i mean they have chemistry so i'm whatever. but. hennYYWAYYYS.actually it's bc im an idiot i didn't read it as Mhok (singular) and aey's father. Yes and his sister who i think i may hate? im like bitch okkkkkk but. his name is lhong. and he is a psycho. i mean so is type. so. oooh it could be that he stole! but also i'm pretty sure cos hes gay lol or did they

not make that explicit? the thing is i had to skip through most of that scene too because the drama was WAY too much for me. too much. lmao. the sister thing i got and it made sense and iliked that. oh yea he is gay and they know. that's a big one.

WBL

haven’t watched color rush! did you like it? i have seen wyel, parts of mr heart, and ofc to my star :)

ohhhhhh ok. i get you. yea he definitely wasn’t being ooc cos i think that....what u said. and also like....ugh i cant even think rn. i like sam lin a lot so i like gao shi de but i gotta say. lmao. hm. first of all. yes it is creepy what he did. it’s fucking weird. and sad that his whole life revolves around him. it’s not as fucking weird as LW but still like when he did the door thing. i was like UMMMMMMMMM cos i really didnt want it to be constructed. and when it was i was like imma suspend my disbelief. but if anyone dared...

and so what he did in s2 i think he just couldnt realize that he was loved back which is why it’s good he WAS ALONE for 5 yrs imo. but he gave shu yi 0 choice and for that i am pretty sure i would be even angrier. i do think though that the father’s role is pretty important but i can see how the show is like....letting that go? bc as fucking weird as GSD is, he was still like...20? i guess and shu yi’s dad is like. crazy? i am also like he really had to fucking start a company to get noticed like are u joking? is it also that easy? and also why? lmao i just. ugh. i think that probs bothered me the most...priorities.

i like the show! well idk if i love it but sure. i think it’s decent lmao. i understand what you’re saying. for here it bothers me less but i certainly don’t think it was OOC. immature and stupid but like...that’s.....what they are. i also don’t have a problm with the timing from a technical point.

however, when i started the show? i had NO clue what concept of time it was. and that was very annoying. tehy redeemed it bc of the comedy aspects (the first time shu yi sees shi de is so fucking good, i really loved the shot and editing; it’s hilarious and silly) and i started to go with the flow of the show through that. but the fucking concept of time in the show in general esp with repetitive outfits (i understand that they are more likely to wear multiple outfits as well, it’s just that you have to split it up or it i sconfusing visually and looks like the same scene twice or just a full day of shooting which it could be but then something should change in the clothes. this is just an ex~~*~*) and partof that is they have this already controlled narrative i guess.

i have to admit as well...i skipped episode 1. and most of 2. i was like i rly dont want to see someone slap a pereson even if they were like. not together. it’s just not cute also not in front of ppl. and then when they were yelling and bla bla i was like listen ladies lets calm down. too much angst in a boring way. what they have now is good. also they should probably like estrange the father but i doubt they will.

i cannot make up my mind totally now bc i see what ur saying i guess i just don’t feel that way as much but i guess i have to think about it more, too. i do think he was contorlling in getting him or like when he didnt want shu yi to find out whwatshisface liked him. i guess for me it would be if he is still that way in the rship. but even tho he’s at fault for what happened, i’m also like but his dad? but also like...did he try? why did he just stop contacting? but then i guess he emailed everyday? DO U C MY QUANDARY.

alsoi have to say i do not care abt their backdoor being opened lmao like wow business? no thanks

LMAO. did they cry a lot in UWMA? i only know the teamwin parts. which one is fluke the really pale one who died? idk what it is about that kid but i just cant watch him. it’s not his fault it’s mine.

DUDE i still dont understand the husband and wife thing and ive looked into it multiple times. ive kinda just classified it as one of those things that make me uncomfortable but arent problematic lol. it you have any insight about it id love to hear it tho !!

it’s stupid. that’s what it is (husband and wife.) it’s just something they say like many gay couples may use pejoratives in conjunction with them, the f word etc. or even imply something about being a top and a bottom. whatever. but these arent gay spaces or gay storylines. sure gay men may direct them but since BL operates and relies on patriarchy without a doubt and also stereotypes poorly kathoeys or won’t cast trans women in anything substantial and use them as jokes (and see this is one of those things where it’s like...ud never see this in the US tho like our concept of third gender or kathoeys but life stillBOOOOO.) so it’s just useless when they put it into the scripts because it’s for people to consume and lots of girls are. obviously. so the idea that if you are being penetrated and u r the wife and this is used like literally anywhere but not from gay or whatever men is gross. are cis women’s vaginas sieves to them? are trans women not women? do we have to categorize people by PHALLIC OBJECTS IN OUR BODIES SPECIFICALLY A WOMAN? it dont make no sense. plus really most ppl just experiment, there’s more ways than one to have sex, we have lives so most times it’s not just full penetration for hours anyway. it’s just so gross. like oh that’s really funny lol ur the wife cos his dick goes in ur butt XD i get it, same. i say “i’m wife’ whenever there’s a penis in me. fucking kill me. it’s not a big deal but it’s just dumb and gross. if they use it they could try and subvert it too like i like how my engineer has a whole absurdly stupid episode about it. but in TT the dad says “if ur the wife i wont accept it” and i was like u know what gals? im good. goodbye.

pgojaihousgajigko THAT’S SOOOOOOO OOWIEOFUGHOIJ WEIRD. FANDOM IS REALLY WEIRD. i have read rpf and written it once upon a time but dont do it anymore uch. i mean it’s weird. no doubt about that. invasive, weird, strange. but very unreal anyway. it is. plus i dont like celebs or fame and think of it as a gross capitalist scheme so i had to stop (also so weird?) but i know very many people like lean in. lean in. LEAN IN. this youtuber i watch did a video on like insanely popular ships (like that 1d one) and their insane fandoms and i just couldnt. it’s so embarrassing? and then they’re so bold????? about it?

yea it would be cool (more queer men or visibly we should say or like out whatever.) but it doesnt necessarily mean that will be good or beneficial i guess? i mean like. i dont know. so much about the genre is about wish fulfilment for young girls. its literally selling some fantasies because the other thing is for BL (i read a paper on this...) esp for girls in more conservative societies they cna maybe replace themselves in the character? but they may not feel a threat as a woman or like their life will fall apart if they engage in sexual things with anyone really. and that’s where i’m like....for a lot of these are they just writing a story and just replacing two men? bc they also seem to think it owrks like that. and in a way that’s what it is bc of the writing and how they use certain terms. you can tell the piece is about pushing a product and less about the real affects of a story. i think ITSAY is a great example of a really intelligent great piece of work that contains multitudes. and the girl was amazing. it just depends on the goal. and for most of the ppl the goal isnt...to do anything. so i dont know. idk how to talk abt representation anymore. it both is and isnt.

i really liked tingting from my engineer a lot (idk if u have seen) she’s so fun and unapologetic. i love how much she drinks and if someone tells her to be ladylike she says no. and i appreciate that in the show when girls were rude to her she said nothing about the girls but said “NO IM NOT LUCKY TO HAVE ALL MALE FRIENDS?” i really want to see her more in the next season. obviously tiffy is goat. super excited to see how their rship develops.

#we best love #lovely writer #we best love fighting mr 2nd

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the-main-characterr · 3 years

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realised i forgot to watch tharntype,

will do rn.

kinda feel like i also grew out of that but eh we’ll see

types aggressive being still annoys me

y u always >:(

if i dated someone for 7 years and they still didn’t marry me, i’d be insecure ASF

i like 2gether more than tharntype

it’s prettier

you could’ve done ur alarm urself bitch

why are you talking so slow?

why are u judging em tho just watch the show

i think everyone that knows me a lil bit knows why i like 2gether more

7 years are actually a lot-

AND THEY WERE ROOMMATES

i kinda want one but i also don’t like what

i said it before and i’ll say it again: types aggressive behaviour annoys me

not tryna b judgemental but if u stick to type for 7 years u have all my respect

watching this hurts in my soul

that p’cir and phu r cool

love the sound effects

love the time i lived in when i watched the first season

if i’m so judgemental already, i also don’t like their kitchen

it’s so boring wth

wow- now i feel bad.

sorry.

the way tharn puts his phone in his front pocket is everything but *judgemental comment here* i can’t think of any bad things rn

i’m so scared of both of them like they’re always like >:(

you can’t just force someone into marriage-

no but like why would a stranger want to know if you have a relationship or not i mean you’re not going to random people and say hi we’re married

i mean i would do that but i’m the main character-

if someone “could stay mad at me” id be fucked-

yall are so sensitive just touch the bread

that phegun and p’cir are cute ngl

no like literally yall are so dramatic

i liked fiat but wth

doc is cute

just because you’re not married doesn’t mean you’re sharing him-

type improved tbh

awh they cute-

the music———————— jail

marriage.

POSSESSIVEEEEEEE

lucky me being zen-meryem rn

perfect representation on how personality can destroy everything

until this day, i still don’t know what a lines ID is supposed to be

this was too cute i’m ded

rip me

i love the sound effects yfrvjjvgjmkb

love their style

fiat u can’t just-

come for a taken man that’s the most disgusting thing possible

like even if he wasnt happy with tharn or in a toxic relationship it’s not ur stupid job to manipulate and steal wth

leo u have all my respect

wouldnt mind being ur bestie

stfu fiat u r a toxic attention seeking bitch that is nothing more but unethical

selfish brat

this is cute-

love

ngl the fact it’s been 7 years n they stilsbxbwjbdwbbx

cute

ok leo i understand why u took it back but i still respect u for even doing it

phugun is too possessive

of p’cir idk the names but one of them

the not cute one

idk why yall hate on no so much he funny af

oh i see

phugun is the cute one

P’CIR IS TOOO POSSESSIVE

let the man live wth

seo is literally it dnxjdbjdbsbf

what did actually happen to the guy that’s been a bitch and possessed over tharn

lol i actually feel bad for type. it’s the first time i see him EMOTIONAL and damn-

must hurt.

omg istg i also wonder why he doesn’t quit

this is too much I CANT

Imma suffocate on the cutegsbsbdbbd ah i’m dying

hmph ig im just to tough to cry😤

WOAH

heart attack-

SHXBHSBC A MAN

doc, ily

this picture-in-picture thingy is so cool

i remember a time type didn’t want to admit he missed him

the hdhxb ishdiuebchw immaculate

fiat i’m scared of u

“every time i really want someone, i never get them” FELT. FELT FELT FELT difference is that my dumbass don’t want them when they want me🥲 it’s ok. time knows what it’s doing

fiat u r heartless

imagine having a healthy relationship with ur mother in law

yall be having literal bodyguards

i could SELL MY SOUL HE DID SOMETHING IN THAT DRINK

ok i wasn’t sure about it but by the amount that guy said cheers i couldn’t be more convinced that this man is evil

the fact that he didn’t tuck his shirt is the whole evidence

DATE ALREADY I CANT HHGGYYGCCXDDXCGBB U N CHAMP FOREVER

doc-

you heard him don’t leave him

HUH WAIT I HAVE TO WAIT!?

THOUGHT I CAN

WATCH IT ALL THROUGH

if you don’t move ur ass rn i’ll come to thailand myself n kick ur ass

too invested-

JANUARY 22?/!/£:!.!3):£WHAT

i cant-

okay cool i waited a few weeks imma continue wasching now

oh i remember. i was yelling at that basketball kid

STOP ASSAULTING A DRUNK PERSON AH J CANT MY EYES

omg leo thanks u saved my life thank u ily

you don’t have to be on top of him just to question him-

be scared stupid bitch

types just simply sleeping somewhere completely left alone👁👄👁

DUDE WHY U SO AGGRESSIVE

i CaN bE yOuR hUsBaNd BITCH ION REALLY THINK SO

WOW

I FORGOT UR NAME BUT DAYUMN SHOW HIM

i wish i had someone that kept his promise under every circumstance

ppl that promise me things b like i NeVeR sAiD tHaT hUhH

yall just so addicted to each other like chill

if i’d marry someone, i’d feel so old

like hi i’m MARRIED

stop with the i miss u it’s so emotional

tharn you look so done with ur life lmfao

fiat you’re so annoying istg

cant u just ply basketball and leave these ppl alone like piss off

why yall crushing on type crush on me

fiat go study or sumn srsly

STOP

omg STAHP HE JUST SAID WATCH UR KNEE

DONT U FUGGIN KISS HIM OMFG

ah doorbell.

thanks.

phu you’re so funny

WHAT- wth fiat please stop you’re ridiculous

For seven years, i’ve never had eyes for anyone but him. damn- imagine-

my hearts b shattering ITS NOT HIS FAULT

well okay there’s a lot of evidence against

STILL

ITS NOT HIS FAULT

i mean i see tharns point but

ARGHZBSHSBXBWBXB

for personal reasons i will be passing away

the audacity of this bitch is giving me ANGER

imagine buying wedding rings just to come home n hear “we should take a break”

fuck anger i’ll cry

why even want fiat💀

AH DONT CRY J CANT HSBSHABX

phu you’re so cute like THE CHARACTER

thanya you’re such a queen i can’t explain

this scene is so funny they all b sitting there like 👀👀👀👀👀

MY SOUL

you disgust me.

ok first off phu gun your style is so cool like that white shirt- FABULOUS 10/54

n second off, my dumbass felt like WHO IS THAT MAN HITTING ON FIAT I KNOW HIM

silly me it’s cir-

handsome man ngl

WHY DROP UR SUITCASE HUH

don’t tell me he died

oh god he didn’t die-

WHATS THE MATTER THEN

you guys are so sensitive can’t get hurt at all

always going like OH SHIT I NEEDA GO TO THE HOSPITAL

“cant even make an instant noodle” that’s why we admire u lmao

ok chill u just spilled it

you look so cute when u pissed at urself shxbsbc

ah thanya u r so cool

HERE IT IS THE HEALTHY MARRIAGE I WAS SEARCHING IN THIS SERIES OMFG

“lack of communication can even break apart the most loving relationship” SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PPL IN GHE BACK

COMMUNICATION, WHAT A LOVELY WORD

this series is fulfilled now

i could listen to these two forever

i cant with leo and fiat fcstvhjfftc

don’t act like the shy bitch now u stoopid

this is hard to watch ew

khom being a philosopher of love fxtvjbj

he didn’t just leave his i miss u

yall tryna get drunk with my heart

STOP CRYINGGGGG

im gon suffocate

stop i didn’t start this show to murder myself

pls calm ur face u look so aggressive

i wonder how many times tharn talked to sleeping type in those 7 years

u r basically talking to a wall

HE WROTE THAT SONG

oh just to be someone to know what ordained is

those blue thingys r so cool

thanks this is everything i needed

doc champ, how long shall i wait

he’s not bald-

did they even cut his eyebrows-

oh monk.

didn’t they shoot these scenes during rona-

those r some fire makeup skillz

HE DID NOT

YOURE SIMPLY PLAYING WITH HIS HEART

WHATDIDHESAYYYY

officially ripped my heart into pieces

that was definitely not a kiss kiss

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rakastuin · 7 years

Text

i’m so alone. i don’t have any friends to hang out with. i used to be able to be outside way more because i didn’t have to be alone. granted i didn’t do it often but it was easier for me to go outside because there were ppl with me. it’s different to go outside/hang out with your family rather than your friends.. i think. i don’t even feel comfortable contacting my old “friends” because i know they’d much rather be with this other person. i know it. i just. idk. why was i the one who was left alone? because i never talk to anyone i was never too open about shit because my old relationships made it impossible for me to talk openly about stuff. she never listened to me. idk. it was most likely my fault. like everything else.

for the first time in my life i’ve been waiting for summer because i want to do stuff. i want to have fun. i want to go outside. i want to put on a t-shirt and not care. but how am i supposed to do this when literally everyone made fun of me for what i was and what i did. maybe not directly but still. “lmao who the fuck cuts themselves”, “i hate when ppl show their scars it’s so ugly and like we get it u want attention” and shit like that. i get that when a person has fresh cuts but still. only one person has seen my cuts. and i feel disgusting just thinking about it knowing what she actually thought and what she thought about me and just god.

i hate that i’ve been put down for so long because of my mental illnesses. like i get it ppl don’t like when someone gets uncomfortable so easily and when they can’t even order their own shit at a cafe or some shit. i get it. but it hurt me so bad.. knowing how she always felt about me and my mental illnesses and never actually addressing it. “lol at least i don’t have depression, i’m so happy and fun all the time haha unlike ppl with depression” she says after knowing that i’ve had depression for many years. god. it still sometimes gets to me? what if i could actually just... stop all this.. not be depressed and anxious and all this? would it never have gone like this? could i still have friends then? idk

i wish i could just forget everything. i want to go to my own room. i want to be in my own god damn room but all the memories haunt me ‘cause it was me who broke all of it. every friend i had, gone. have been gone for almost a year. more than ten years of calling that bitch my best friend just ‘cause i didn’t know any better. i know it wasn’t always bad and i know i must’ve been at fault too. it must’ve been my fucking depression and anxiety and being trans and all that i know i know i know i know i know it was all my fault i did it i’m a horrible person i’m a horrible person i’m a horrible person i’m a horrible person. i just want to go in my room. i just don’t want to be reminded of her please. i’m so sorry i shouldn’t have done it i shouldn’t have i was just too sensitive.

no i wasn’t? she used me? that was my last straw with her?? her mother asked me to invite her to visit because she was sad? so i did because i didn’t want her to be sad???? she used me to get out of her house to meet a guy and only when it was almost night, and i had no idea where she was i was so worried, did she show up at our place????????? WHY do i feel sorry about this????

it wasn’t fair of me to cut ties with her after that. we used to play games and now i have barely played anything because everything reminds me of her and i just. i don’t know.

no one likes me.

idk. what ever. my dysphoria is horrible and i can’t do anything to make myself feel better and i just my parents keep talking about the other behind their back and i just rly don’t like to listen to how much they hate each other. my dad has been nice for over a year and this is so rare i used to be so scared of him for years. my mum is the same just sadder and i feel so bad but i can’t do anything and god i have no idea what my sisters think of me and fuck. i have only online friends and i think most of them hate me too like honestly who wouldn’t i’m just a piece of shit who can’t do shit to help anyone and fffuuuuck i just want to be loved and i want to love and i want to be happy and i want to be more independent and i want to make everyone proud but no one will be and i can’t do anything.

i’m sorry. i’m so tired. idk..

#wOW ThIS IS OnE hUgE VENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i want to sleep but i can't #the anxiety meds don't help anymore idk what's happening #i'm so sorry #please don't read this it'll just make you annoyed and i don't want to annoy people i just need to get this out of my system

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ilygsd · 6 years

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200918: 1

someone fuck me in the asshole honestly im shocked how can this dude NOT UNDERSTAND??? hes really good at cognitive empathy, he has a nice moral compass he follows ”be kind, be nice” but he cant fucking FEEL what hes doing

and like....... thats important to me??? and apaprebtly NO ONE has ever criticized him for it or whatever? like his ”intentions”?? ofc he cant help he doesnt feel emotional empathy but he literally cant spot the DIFFERENCE!!! he’s like ”as long as im kind and a nice human being” like bitch NOO!!!! i like you!!! you ”like” me, but you like me bc u think im interesting and you think we can learn from each other. which also is important OF COURSE!! but BITCH I LIKE YOU BC I FEEL FOR YOU THATS DIFFERENT

we’ve known each other for like 3 weeks, met 5 times and we’ve already had 3 major fights??? mainly over text/phone but still.... he’s so fycking mean? he really tries to manipulate me that ugly fucking whore!!! he guilt trips me all the fuxking time i cant say anything he’ll explode and i need to apologize or some shit otherwisw it would never end. and i know what the fuck he’s doing because i used to be the exact same. honestly we are similar in many aspecrs EXCEPT for the ”feel”-part. i feel TOO MUCH. and the difference is that im not manipulating him.... because i KNOW i cant. i know he’d see right through me, there’s no POINT

like i used to be like that too, maybe i still am. i ALWAYS win fights, no mercy. its like i turn off my empathy during fights but AT LEAST i feel AFTERWARDS!!! he doesnt. he realize he did wrong bc of his ”morality”. bitch i could CRY, because he literally scolded me over phone when i was on the bus and there was NOTHING i could do to stop him. i tried to talk to him but he only continues cus i fkn refuse to oBEY HIS ORDERS??? but i cant hang up either cus then he’d never talk to me again and i’d feel like shit......

he’s pretty calm irl, ive never seen him angry irl and i hope i never will holy SHIT!!! he’s so good at hurting, like he turns everything youve ever said to him against you. he’s so fucking good at it cus he’s so god damn good at reading people. thats what makes him so charming. i DONT UNDERSTAND how can his precious girlfriends not have CARED??? apparently i’m the first to criticize him and one of the few to trigger him and im like..... bruh how?? i literally dont say anything and you fucking explode?? are your family and friends blind??? are you doing this to me because you THINK the manipulation will work??

also...... he sees it as something positive that sick bastard. hes like ”well i think this could be good” and im like ”uhhhh bitch it is I who get scolded???” and hems like ”but i feel and too :((” he’s such a fkn dumbass. this is his politics too. he believes in reverse racism and is probably sexist too smhhh. i was like ”are u dumb, u hit me in the face and tell me its bad for you too bc u feel vad abt hitting me??”

i am impressed by how he chose to ve ”kind” or whatever instead of psycho even though i still think he’s selfish and does it for his own gain aka he LOVES to learn things, experience things. he’s very ambitious, energetic and curious. but he doesnt understand. he’s like ”well im kind to you thats all that matters?”

the thing is, he’s not even kind??? he basically forced me to taste his disgusting vanilla coffee OTHERWISE he would take the blanket away??? he sees it as teasing and it kind of is yeah..... if i didnt know that his 1000% serious?? he honestly think its a ducking compromose?? im lile ”uhh a improvisera would be for me to taste a little coffee and then you to give me another blanket or AT LEAST stop nagging”

and when i finally tasted the ugly coffee he wanted to know if i thought it was good and i said ”yeah its ok” bc im not a liar, it was better than expected. and hes like ”thats all i wanted to hear” I KNOW BITCH, YOURE NOT THAT FUCKING SLICK ITS PRETTY FKN OBVIOUS

also he always adds rules??? everythings always on his conditions? also he kinda thinks i should be thankful for him not being an asshole??? or maybe its that i actually VRITICIZE his intentions. yeah i think that brothers him. i think he thinks it entertaining because he doesnt care when he get angry. i didnt use to either. i could just forget te fight and move on, it wasnt important to me. but fuck now when i KNOW what its like......

im like ”ur threatening me to drink coffee” and hes like ”arent u happy i put extra much vanilla for you?? i usually drink much stronger but i didnt for u? arent u happy i gave u the blanket? i actually was goong to put it on the couch and leave u cold but i didnt?” BUT HE ONLY PUT ECTRA VANILLA SO I WPULD TELL HIM IT TASTES GOOD SO HIS EGO CAN BE BOOSTED

calso he kinda forced me to drink alohol?? i was like ”im feeling like shit if i throw up its tour fault and you will have to clean up” and he’s like ”no you’ll have to clean up” BITCH I SONT EVEN WANT TO DRINK YOURE PUSHING ME

soooo many red flags fuck i really SHOULD leave now when i can and now when im not too emotionally invested. but oMG IM SO CURIOUS!!! we’re so similar yet so different!!! we can relate to each other in some ways the bad thing is that since he actually cant FEEL empathy, he doesnt BELEIVE me even when i tell him the truth. im not sad bc i want to manipulate him. im not even sad that his words are huetful even though they are, because i know he’s fucking weong. im sad because he treats me lile this. im sad because i like HIM!!! i genuinely LIKE HIM!! but he doesnt fucking understand?? he doesnt understand the difference between LIKING someone and LIKING to HANG OUT with someone. i like him because i like HIM I FEEL HIM, he only likes to hang out with me.

he talks about this as ”his way” and ”bot traditional” way of feeling. his version and definition of ”love” and ”affvtion” is so fucking weird??? we were cuddling and he said ”wow u make me feel more” LMAO BULLSHIT. I CALL FUCKING BULLSHIT YOU ONLY SAY THAT CUS U THINK THATS WHAT I WANT TO HEAR

im partly okay with him being low empathy, he cant help it and i actually genuinely believe he believes he’s doing the RIGHT thing. like he believes it so much and... i guess he is?? like what choice does he have? he cant fucking feel, the least he can do is be kind anyways. he cant help that its not genuine and i guess i’ll have to accept that, but i al NOT GOING TO FALL FOR THOSE CHEAP TRICKS. i didnt say anything but i bet he would even understand if i pointed it out. he’d be like ”but its true!! i feel more with you” no bitch, you only say/think that because you WANT to be with me and now when you know thats what i want to hear thats what you say. smhhh

also i remember in the beginning when i kinda confessed and he was like ”it takes time for me to like someone” and in like???? uhhh okay? and i was anxious abt it cus i really didnt understand what the fuck we were and he just kept ”it takes time for me to like someone” to i was like ”okay but its not like im super super deeply in love with you or anything?? like.... i can like people??” BUT NOW I FUCKING UNDERSTAND HE LITERALLY MEANS BASIC ASS EMPATHY. IT TAKES TIME FOR HIM TO FEEL BASIC ASS EMPATHY FOR OTHER PEOPLE

i just dint understand how the fuck he’s able to still have a family and friends and stuff. how..... how can no one care??? i said ”theyre being manipulated” and hes like ”no i just dont think they care. they just like that im kind and dont think much abt it” but both youre not kind??? but when i tell im its not genuine he goes with the ”well we’re all egoists anyqays, we’re all doing things for ourselves, ur egoist too” yeah but i can still FEEL

i dont wanna be a dick. maybe its just me?? maybe its just because i feel so much and thats why i really NEED that genuine feeling?? no, i know why...... fuCK ME!!! i CARE because i like him 😔😔 bc i think hes so smart and interesring and i see him as someone potential and thats why i keep test him like this 😔 and its for no use because i cant change who he is 😔😔 would i care about these things with some other guy??? no. because i sont care abt them, but i care abt him and thats why 😔😔

hes not even guilt tripping me for it (wow ”yay” ) he just doesnt understand. he doesnt understand the difference or why i find it important. he just sees it as ”him being different” and ”him feeling in another way”. thats not it. this is not normal. this is because of childhood trauma and im so fucking sad for you, no offense, youre doing tour best but thats so sad

well anyways, even if i were to accept his WEIRD ASS DEFINITION OF LOVE he STILL needs to fucking stop with his abuse??????!!!! out of the 3 fights he has told me 2 times he’s going to ”try” but bitch WE KNOW HE WONT. HE CANT! HE CANT BECAUSE HE CANT FEEL WHEN ITS ENOUGH. IF HE FELT EMPATHY HE WOULD KNOW WHEN TO STOP. BUT HE CANT. im just waiting for him to explode someday. i literally asked him ”what should i do next time” and he’s like ”idk, i cant tell you what to do”. omg its true. theres nothing i can do, he’d still be so pissed at me no matter what. and me just asking him is such a BIG RED FLAG like we ALL KNOW.... or not him. he’s like ”maybe we wont fight” LMAO HAHAH YEA BITCH NICE TRY BUT WE WILL BC U START IT

hes so fucking sensitive. we had a misunderstanding, he started to scold me, i got mad and he kept gaslighting ”no i didnt scold you” and when i called him out on gaslighhting..... oh boy...... he got SO FUCKING MA, accuses ME of gaslighting him?? accuses me of ”starting” it with my ”passie aggressiveness” ok maybe i was passive aggressive but i WOULDNT IF HE DIDNT SCOLD ME ABOUT IT. i cant ever criticize him because he goes bananas. ok maybe im not the best to criticize others, im very....... bold. BUT I KNOW IM RIGHT??

last time he got angry because i said ”ppl listen to you bc ur a white man” and he started to bring up his childhood, told me im insensitive, theeatened me to hang up, never talk to me again if i didnt ”respect” him aka ”obey” him, he guilt truppen me, told me no one would want to me with me blah blah blah

a part of me is happy u dont really fall for that bullshit. like yes if course im HURT!!! but as i said, im not really hurt because he really is trying to hurt me. he really WANTS to hurt me. he even takes pride in it?? ”im very good at making people feel very good, and im very good at making people feel very bad” it makes me so FRUSTRATED BECAUSE I LIKE HIM I WANT HIM TO SEE AND UNDERSTAND SO HE CAN GROW, THAT IS EMPATHY PEOPLE, THAT IS GENUINE LOVE

we’re so different. we use completely different tactics. when i used to manipulate my ex.... i NEVER did personal attacks like he does. i never used smth personal AGAINST them.... i was more about.... guilt tripping? more about ”u dont love me, pity me”. im not saying thats good, i was horrible but what he does is just MEAN. i dont understand how anyone can keep up with that kind of behavior. i even told him when we fought and he responded ”well i need to keep up with u”. he always does that and that actually hurts because i like him. and he knows that. he always says ”ive been sitting here, listening to you, been kind to you and....” etc. etc

WHYYYYYY am i the only one criticizing him?? WHY is he like this to me? is it because i see through his ugly acting?? is it even possible for us to ever be healthy together? we can learn from each other, no doubt. but is it healthy???

when i tell him i feel bad bc of horrible manipulative and emotional abusive things ive done he understand but hes like...... ”thats ok dont be so hard on yourself, just learn, everyone makes mistakes” but like no?? THIS IS NOT OKAY!!! he also keeps saying i’ll become like him and like ”stop caring” bc ”we cared too much before” but NO I DONT WANT TO BECOME LIKE YOU!! I ADMIRE YOUR THINKING SKILLS AND ID LIKE TO LEARN SOME OF THAT BC WERE POLAR OPPOSITES YOU THINK, I FEEL. YOU CANT FEEL, I CANT THINK AND HANDLE MY FEELINGS

i dont WANT to. thats the difference. im not satisfiera!!! i told him i dont want to apologize to my ex best friend (who i treated like shit) until it feels GENUINE and hes like ”pfft... its better than nothing. she wont know if its genuine anyways” and im like bitch.... i WANT to be genuine because i think she would appreciate it more and I would feel better about it and hes like ”oh so its cus u wanna feel good about it” OH MY GOD HES SO ANNOYING

i really should pack mt bags and run. why did i have to fall for him UGHHHHH. why do i let him treat me like this when i’d never let ANYONE else do it. its so weird, im very picku with guys. i dont fall for ANYONE. i ALWAYS pick nice and kind guys so why him? i thought he was nice, yeah fair enough, but i still like him even though he isnt? i dont think its me being awfullt desperate, i really wouldnt let anyone be like this. like BOY HE BEKIEVES IN FUXKING REVERSE RACISM DO YALL THINK I WOULD HANG IUT WITH SOMEONE LIKE THAT??? or maybe i am desperate. yes i am. im desperate for the connection i feel. thats kinda sad. i feel a strong bond to/with him, i feel like we’ve been through some things and i still look up to him and how he has recovered. he gives me hope that i can also be happy one day. I DONT WANT TO BE LIKE HIM but i still want to learn from him. and i sont think i will ve like him because im not a sociopath. i just want to take the good stuff and then become better

omg i really am similar to him. im really here feeling superior. i do feel superior because i can feel. i feel superior and a part of me wants to use him. hes a real challenge. i dont think i can maniplate him, it would be amazing to have him feel something for me...... IH MY GOD THIS IS SUCH A FUCKING MESS. NO THIS IS NOT IT. I DO LIKE HIM IM NOT LIKE HIM. IM NOT THAT FUCKED UP

i get really annoyed when he claims im similar that i also want to control and manipulate and im like NO BITCH WERE SIMILAR BUT NOT HERE, like not when im trying to be calm and grown up and have us silver things, not when im crying because he huet my feelings but................ maybe hes right. or maybe hes just manipulating me??? maybe its both. ofc its both. i WAS HURT, i actually HAD anxiety!!!! if that bastard could feel, he would have known it was GENUIKE. AND HE WOULD HAVE KNOWN IM TRYING TO BE CALM AND AN ASULR BECAUSE HE SURE AS HELL FUXKING ISNT AND I ACTUALLY LIKE YOU BITCH I WANT TO SOLVE THIS FOR MY OWN SAKW TOO SO I CAN BE WITH YOU WITHOUT FEELING LIKE A CHEAP WHORE WITH NO SELF RESPECT.... BUT YES OF COURSE I WANTED HIM TO FEEL FOR ME TOO. IT DISTURBS ME SO MUCH THAR I DONT HAVE AN EFFECT ON HIM HEA LIKE A STONE AND OFC IF ANYONE SAW US FIGGT I’D LOOK LIKE THE CALM ONE. hes wrong though bc i used to think like that too with my ex bff. i used to think damn shes only like that so she can feel superior to be and humiliate me but no. she was right. she was more mature than me and she did what she had to do AND THATS WHAT IM DOIKG TO SO FUCK YOU

only way for me to manipulate him would be sexually. he’s that pathetic. a fucking horny dick, thats what he is. but it wouldnt even be manipulation because honestly if hes that fucking horny then its his choice. its not like i’d ever r*pe him, i dont even wanna have sex with him that guy has some HIGH STANDARDS i feel like a virgin next to him but since im not he would also expect more smh. i dont even dare to kiss him back. im only used to virgins so they dont have any experience lmao but... fuck i cant this time

he’s so cockt though for real. he brags about this and that all the time which is kind of his charm..... if it wasnt for the fact that hes always so competitive and serious LMAO. like it would really hurt his ego if i questioned him. imagine me telling him his sex, kisses, brain/psychology or smth was bad. i swear to god he would want to scold me and call me some real nasty things but he probably wouldnt

#diary #jo

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