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sea-of-dust · 5 months

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You gotta be kidding...

5wirl x GN! Reader

Summary: They make a reference to something personal between you two while performing live. Almost putting a spotlight on you.

Notes: Modern AU, mention of irl video game and band: Remmber Sports (they're good recommend Tiny Planets),

Warnings: suggestive humor, swearing, never expect proof reading

He met you before he was an idol. High school to be exact. You two were in the same music class bonding over how much you dreaded your music teacher. "He sounds like a divorced mom.." "isn't he married?" "Exactly" you flop onto your desk

You two have been in almost every class together years afterward, just so you didn't have to work with a stranger for group projects. People would would find you two around school alot and walking home together. "And they were roommates," one of your classmates giggle as you two casually hold hands while speaking to eatchother, in reality, you both didn't notice

He was always so calm but also somehow could smell your problems?!? "Ughhhh" "Lemme guess they chewed gum loudly again?" You spring up placing your head back down. "Stop knowing based off my grunts!" "And you're mad at me for not noticing something earlier" "HA!-" "nm it's because I didn't let you sleep in" "...I genuinely despise you"

He started catching feelings midway through your first semester of the new school year. You did notice he sometimes hugged you tighter, looked at you a little longer, he even got small trinkets for you, noticing how fond he looked when you casually wore them.

It was by the end of the year he had told you he got a scouted as an idol, it took alot for him to tell you but it worked thank god you didn't ditch him like he thought.

"So uh..." "?" "I got scouted" your eyes widen, he thought all his fears came to life before you hugged him tightly and squealed. "I TOLD YOU YOU HAD A NICE VOICE!!" "You didn't have to yell" "Shut up you cry over stuff like this!" Now you were the one that oddly knew things about him...you were right...he did cry...alot like the whole group knew the next day.

The group try to hype him up into asking you out. "DUDEEEE COME ON THEYRE NOT GOING ANYWHERE" "I can ask to hangout" he mutters holding his phone in his hand "COME ONNN" venti and heizou sync up kazuha speaking up "ask them to go for dinner" his cheeks turn pink almost instantly "UH MAYBE NOT COME ON- WHAT IF-" "and sent" "WHEN DID YOU TAKE MY PHONE?!" "You'll live" Xiao rolls his eyes as aether bickers with him, his phone noti goes off. "Sure what time?" There's a silence in the room as Xiao gives him the phone. "At 4?" "bet ☆" you and those star emojis how are you like this. "ITS A DATE!!" "YEAAAAAAA" they sounded like a frat house.

He gets all giddy on that date and when you two finally go on one you finally hit the maybe were dating phase but you both don't wanna admit it to eatchother. So the rest of 5wirl planned something for you two. "Alr we know he likes them nowww...." "we...." "Why don't we perform for them" "on their friend ani?" "How do you know that..." they turn to heizou "because he saved it on his calander" "..." and so they planned out your ani for you two.

And so their evil plans acted out perfectly, you two went out on another date and later that day you dropped him off at the concert. What you didn't expect was heizou dragging you to a seat. "Stay right here and don't move alright" you watched them get on stage aether seeming to be looking for you, they get to performing when one of the lyrics hit you. "Hey why don't you meet me at four?" An almost slured pronunciation followed by aether finally finding you. His eyes so tender yet teasing. You felt your heart skip a beat a small wink only making you more bashful.

To think the performance would end there nope. As you tried to get off your seat aether greets you with a cheeky smile a small ring in his hand. You turn around quickly. "I guess I flustered you more than he ever will" he leans on you wrapping his arms casually around your waist while you continues to fluster you. "He was just a small crush..." "enough to have you gush for 4 months about it" he laughs softly kissing you cheek. "When did you even gain this much confidence" "small words of advice" your mind immediately goes to Heizou. "Alrighty then..." without a warning you pull your face closer forcing him to slouch over you. "Did heizou tell you what to do incase of this situation aswell?" Thank god that concert hall was almost empty and the seat you were at made it almost impossible to see you two because the next thing you see and hear are a bunch of idiots going YEAAAAAAAAAAA. Aether x y/n shirts and a poster held up by Xiao. They ship it.

You made cute accessories! He's seen your work on social media and reached out. "You're accessories are so cute do you have a store?" "Nah I only sell locally near my college" turns out you both went to the same college he's never did a double check so fast in his life. As soon as he saw you he cupped one of your hands, his eyes sparkling in pure joy. "GIMMIE EVERYTHING IN STOCK!" "HUH?!"

Number one fan he's following you around. He'd be your personal advertisement always wearing your stuff and flexing it to others. He WILL be the most annoying person on campus

When you tell him to stop he just kinda tilts his head until he realizes what your saying as if he finally loaded. "Oh! Alright!" That's when you make an almost massive mistake "I did enjoy your support tho but youre-" "SO YOU LIKE HAVING A FAN?!" And so began the simping. He's all over you. Every class your with him? He's leaning into you, whispering random stuff in your ear. Your eyebags got darker everytime he did this but he was more chill than your online fans.

The days you also leaned into him are the days you've never seen someone more flustered. "Hm?" You lift up your head watching him cover his face quickly. "Venti?" He turns away from you even more. "Don't look at me! Where did you even learn that-" "I mean you do that to me all the time" "don't say it outloud-" "did you just whimper?" He stops suddenly using is braids to cover his face as he mumbles to himself. You bring that up to traumatize him

He had to get used to you showing affection, you weren't even dating yet! Come on, don't do this! Even a small smile he'd tease you for it but he'd definitely scream into his pillow about it.

He only asked you out when you made your feeling for him known. A small note under his door telling asking him to meet up at an amusement park later that weekend was where it clicked he looked and sounded like a little girl you could hear his "YEAAAAAAAA" from your room.

He's doing everything he's on a call with the others he just needs them to hear his my story animated from start to finish. "Can you not play that effen punk music main stream shit can barely hear you" "Shut the fuck up hot topic this is important!" "This is why you fucked up your eyeliner" "I DID?!?!" He checked in his mirror realizing he didn't and mostly argued with Xiao. "If they ditch you you deserve it" "quit being a downer! Good luck Venti!" They all mostly wave at the camera before hanging up leaving you and him alone for the evening

He loved it. He was like a child pointing at things he wanted. "Do you have the money?" He looks away pounting "not an actual question I'll play for it" his eyes widen almost sparkling. You two left flexing your carnival game knowledge and venti covered in plush prizes you won for him.

As payback for the newfound plush army, he invited you to a concert. "Oh so you did have money" "Shut up" "hehe" your teasingly small laugh is so cute stop doing that. What you didn't know is that he strapped some keychains you made on his belt, and he NEVER STOPPED WINKING, if you had to drink everytime he found you in the audience and winked you'd have five drinks...per song. It was cute seeing him smirk whenever you slightly blushed at him.

"Y/n!!" He smiles as you wait for him outside the concert hall. "Lets go to another amusement park!" He giggles embracing you "right now?" "Yea!" He nuzzles his face into your chest "sure..when you take off all of those keychains Jesus how much did you-" "200 bucks" "...VENTI" "THEYRE CUTE I KNOW YOU EYED THEM!" You blush slightly smirking "I did...they look adorable on you" you struck him right in the heart leaving both of you flustered. "The amusement parks a few blocks away" "LETS GO!" as if it never happened you both headed to the amusement park.

You beat him at a rhythm game he liked. You got first in a video game event he liked since then him he's declared you his rival. "Who the hell is this guy getting in the way of the number one spot" he grits his teeth checking your profile. "347 full combed songs...300 all perfects...and maxed out cards" he rolls his eyes

He wanted to let off some steam at an arcade only to find out he got beat in that game also! With the same name tag as the rythum game champ. He nearly smashes the machine when he notices you step up to it. "Shame, this games kinda better when I'm kicking someone's ass..." You sigh only now, noticing him, smirking at this chance you take it. "You mind playing this with me?" You perk up. Thinking this is a good way to let off steam, he accepts. "I won't go easy." "Alright!" You let him pick the song and almost immediately grab the handbar

Strange, he thinks he doesn't need it. As soon as the song starts, he hears your feet absolutely slam on the board. He's shocked but doesn't look over he's focused on his side of the screen. By the end, you huff heavily, looking up. "You won." You put your fist up for a fist bump. "Ah that songs so annoying~" he dosent give you one back putting in his names for national ranks. That's when he noticed that you put in the name the person on every rythum game had and as soon as you pressed confirm he nearly pounces on you. "SO YOURE THE ONE TAKING THE NUMBER 1 SPOTS EVERYWHERE!" "Yea what about it-" he looks at you angrily, calming down a bit before turning back to you. "I declare you my rival" "well...If you wanna we could rematch sometime gimmie your number?"

Ever since then you two have skeduled days to go to the arcade to whale on eatchother and going out to eat afterword. "I'm pretty sure you'd like it reminds me of your face ☆" you say as you point to a horrible cgi skeleton. "Screw you" "heh". You'd eventually open up to him more and invited him out to places more often. He didn't wanna say it outloud but he genuinely enjoyed those moments

One of the times you two went, you try to teach him gutair hero, he kinda mumbles to himself. "You can just play on your lap" "hmmhmm mhm em You can't be this msm hm" "what-" he realizes he said that outloud and covers his face nearly dropping the gutair. "I didn't hear that last part" he sighs in relief "but do you think im cute?" And so he's even more ashamed of himself. "Context clues" you scratch your cheek in a bit of embrassment "I think you're pretty cute too" you embarssingly laugh leaning away

you're pretty sure you could see his heart skip a beat as he looks up at you, his face nearly entirely pink. Peaking at you through his hand. You decide to tease your friend. "Seems like you wanna date me~" He moves back quickly, covering his mouth to hide his blushing. "I'm fine with that ya know~" you lean into him him still covering his face. He looks away looking back at you,his eyes softening "I'm fine with the thought of kissing you..well maybe a little more than fine but-" your words were cut off as you feel his lips touch yours. Quick yet soft, his hands wrapping around your shoulders. You lean back trying to catch your breath "...how long have you've been waiting to do that?" "...a few months now" "That's kinda adorable Xiao" you lean in for another kiss. You two recount that day as your first date

Ever since then he's more willing to hang out a little more clingy too. Whenever he had a show he would ask you if you were busy that day before sending you the ticket link. "Hey are you busy on the 14th?" "No why?" He'd send you the link without a secound thought "you know I'm not really into idols that much" "I'm in the group..." "...bought"

He actively looks for you in the audience. You would text him where you were sitting beforehand, yet he'd still look like a lost puppy. As soon as he finds you, his eyes sparkled. He forced himself to calm down before giving you a small wave

It was by the end of the show where he was performing the last song and you noticed something about their dance it kinda looked like what you would do on a song you knew well. It was then that you realized Xiao made a dance routine inspired by your sweaty gaming dance. You covered your face in embrassment but peaked through your hands. You couldn't believe he paid that much attention to you. He smirks noticing this

As the show ends, he runs over to you, "That was...a little embrassing" you blush a bit. "..." "dosent mean I didn't like it tho!" Trying not to offend him further you mumble on of how great the performance was. At first he's pretty stiff with his arms crossed you'd think he was annoyed till he kissed you again leaning in to hug you. "I'm glad you liked it" he whispers ever so softly in your ear.

He offen saw you working on projects for bands he likes and decided to commission you. He invited you to a studio and you both began to focus on what he commissioned you on. "I'm looking for something calm yet something someone would listen to in the morning to wake them up..." "hmmm" you play a calm chord progression on your gutair. "Speed up a bit" he taps his foot as if keeping pace as you speed up your playing. "That's pretty good! Sounds like a Remmber sports song" " YOU LISTEN TO THEM?" "Yea?" "Oh my god I thought you wouldn't catch that-" "they're a bit of a guilty pleasure"

You two always worked together after that whenever he would be lost in thought you'd just play hall of the mountain king behind him. He'd turn around slowly as your playing got more intense. "You think of something?" "..."

You pretty much became 5wirl's offical gutairst after kazuha recommended you. They'd make fun of him for how long you two stayed at the studio together. "Kazuha~, you left us sleeping in the shopping cart again!" Venti grins ear to ear "must really like that gutairst." Kazuha smiles."They're just a friend I find it easy to get along with" he thinks about what you two were talking about his eyes softening as if it were an old fond memory "and he's doing it again" heizou sighs jokingly

A few months of performing together, they treat you as family, almost apart of 5wirl. As soon as Kazuha ever left the room they'd turn to you in a heartbeat. "You sure you don't kiss when we're not looking?" "Eh?!" "Does kazuha usually get all mumbly around you" "he does but-" "I KNEW IT" "dose he show you his unironic leaf collection" they all lean in expectingly. "No wha-" You made sure kazuha was too far to hear what you were about to say "...OK so this one time..." they listened to you like their lives depended on it.

The day you told them about that is the day you regret the most, they always looked you and kazuha up and down. Snicker to themselves. "How much you wanna bet they might kiss today" "CAN YOU TWO CUT IT OUT" you let out a sigh walking into the recording studio to practice, a familiar humming following you in a few secounds later. You two sing together and when you finish he finally speaks up. "You know... this the song I was playing when I first realized I was into you" "heh really" you stop strumming, realizing what he said "wait what-" he laughs softly at your reaction placing a hand on your cheek. "That songs kinda special to me..." he holds your hand tenderly with his unbandaged hand. "Reminds me of how much I love you" your eyes widen a bit as he looks at you with the most soft eyes. "I love you too kazuha" you smile gently, letting him lean in to kiss you

All of them noticed you two were dating it was odvious, the way you two acted around eatchother gave litterally everything away. "You two give eatchother less personal space than before are you dating?" "What?" "And you smell like him-" "how do you know what he smells like" "so you're dating?!" "How did you come to that conclusion?!" You and venti would bicker trying to hide your relationship with kazuha after he forgot to tell you he already told them.

Finally a show came along a small gig surprising a popular idol group would show, but still nice. You looked at the music sheet for the song looked up at him, sighed, and looked back. He looked so pleased giving you a few riffs and you look down to see another reason to go to therapy.

What he didn't put on hell on paper was a very veryyy familiar cord progression. He played it himself and put it in post. Making another version so if you ever asked you wouldn't notice, and a few weeks later they went live

You watched them in the audience, hearing the song you helped on and felt your smile fade into a straight face as you heard your solo along with the memorable melody gutair. He saw this trying to avoid a giggle while performing, he's suffering from you brainrot the rest of the show, some fancams caught him getting kicked by heizou or Xiao.

"So how did you like the show~" "Xiao almost kicked you off the stage..." There's a silence. "He dosent kick hard enough for that...but at least you enjoyed it" he smiles, pinching your cheeks and rubing your face, you look away hearing him giggle at your behavior. "I'll make you a coffee-" "don't you dare make a reference" he smirks at you "hehe"

You were online friends usually playing main stream games or random stuff you found. Youd always play together though, never single player! He hates that

"Are you playing a single player game..." "no-" "LIAR ITS ON YOUR STATUS" "SHIT- I mean I have no idea what your talking about" "...atleast stream it" he always got all pouty when he couldn't play with you

He'd definitely randomly interrogate you because you found something out on someone you both knew. "IS IT ABOUT-" "shush shus shu stfu quiet" "oh come on dude what is she gonna hear you?" "We're in a public call" "oh...LMAO" "DUDE"

When you combine both these loves, his love for you playing a co-op detective game with you has become the best thing for him to ever experience. "Who will be first to solve this?" "We're supposed to work together heizou" "oh...oh 😏" "nevermind I'm gonna play hitman without you" his avatar suddenly turns to face you and emotes a shocked reaction "OH COME ON"

He started catching feelings for a while. Ever since you two got on a call for the first time, your voice kinda intransted him. "Your voice Is so nicee" muttering into the mic yet you heard him clearly. "Thank you?" "It really is" its like you can see him currently slumped over his desk just day dreaming about you.

Didn't stop your offline friend for teasing you about him too. "Ooo he's into you~" "nuh uh nope nope!" The tips of your ears turn a pink. "And you like him back might aswell seal the deal" "STOP IT!" Blushing heavily you slam your hand down. Unsurprisingly Heizous in a simular situation 4nemo teasing him over just how much he talks about you. "Ohhh they're so cool" "they smell nice" "stop mocking me" he huffs "then get with them" they say in sync "stop weirdly harmonizing" he sits down covering his currently pink face.

Didn't help when you two first saw eatchother. "What the hell you live so closeby" "I know right what's next you're at my favorite Cafe conveniently the next table over" you turn over your shoulder seeing someone smile at their phone turn back and type "you mentioned before you had moles under both eyes right?" The persons face dropping looking around."Yea?" Without typing back, you walk over sitting infrot of him. "Bro, someone's sitting at my table, hold on" you smile at him typing back "oh sorry lemme just leave then my mistake 😔" "WAIT HUH?!?!" his eyes widen as he grabs your wrist "y/n?" small tears forming in his eyes pulling you into a hug with desperation. "Heizou" he hugs you tighter when he hears his name come out your mouth. "You're as pretty as I thought you'd be..." patting his head as he nuzzles into your chest. "You wanna go back to mine after this" "Yes!" With sudden enthusiasm, you two talk about your irl lives while bullying his drink of choice. "Pumpkin spice.." "oh my god shut up my again" "it's nasty" "it's good to me!!" "Shut up mom with 2 kids living in a van"

He's been going to your house at least once a week now "we should play together" he overbites his lip "I barely charged my secound controller" you overbite your lip back at him "then let's just hang out then I got news bby" visibly cringing at that last bit you let him in with him near instantly showing you a picture of him being accepted into an idol group. "Ohh you're gonna have real fangirls now" "Shut up!" "I'm gonna lead them just to make fun of you" "you're the only fangirl I'd date" "..." You visibly cringe "OH COME ON" "HAHAHA"

And so you were invited to the hell known as a debut concert and dear god was it near impossible to not be as hype as the crowd. Especially catching the fancams with him winking at you. Anyone could tell he was super inlove with whoever he was winking at especially after the group stopped in between a song witch you were barely paying attention to until you heard "I hope you guys never have to play solo!" Could have swore you felt him glare at you "speaking of solo the next songs title is-" all you paid attention to yet you look like you just woke up from a really loud noise.

"Y/n! Did you see it! Did ya like my moves" he smiles at you like a happy little dog. "It was surprisingly great Heizou" "surprising huh?" He pouts as if saddened by that comment. "But the show was amazing Heizou I'd go again" that bright glow of a smile you had is something hell never let go of, without hesitation he holds your hand "marry me" "come again?" "I mean it we should date!" Accidental slip up. He's screwed, you're gonna reject him so blatantly he's never gonna bother you again. "Heizou...that's so sudden" your eyes meet warmly "but I've been thinking the same" kissing his cheek you walk off letting him process what just happened. "WAIT WAIT WAIT YOURE NOT DITCHING ME AFTER SAYING THAT" "MAYBE I AM!" You had to run home that day but it was worth it laughing at him trying to keep up.

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toracre · 17 days

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Love Line!

Taking shelter in the shade under a tree, Azul searches for peace to soothe the ache in his head. That is, until a certain someone comes along presenting a lovely idea. Why not recreate this idea with them? Oh well, Azul will entertain their idea, in a different way.

tags: accidental love confessions!!, theyre both stupid

"Hey."

Azul hears a voice behind him chirp.

Seeking shelter from the burning sun under a tree, Azul had hoped to not be bothered. He had simply wanted to seek refuge against the pounding in his skull.

With a sigh, "Is there something you needed?"

"I hope you're aware that Coach Vargas is not one to tolerate people slacking off or playing around during his class." An unamused expression dawning Azul's face as he says this.

The octopus was quite used to your antics by now. Suggestions of grandiose- or 'ridiculous' ideas, as Azul puts it, were not surprises when heard coming from your mouth. From ideas like building a burger taller than the school, to things like shoving Floyd into a toilet to make him supposedly 'recreate' a certain video from back in your world. You truly had it all.

"You know, if anything, you're the one slacking off in Sir Vargas' class! You're the one sitting under a tree acting all sad and lonely." Your accusations towards Azul did NOT help the pounding in his poor little octopus head. Not even one bit. It was doing the exact opposite of helping, actually.

Defensive is what you could use to describe the octopus right now, as much as he'd deny it. What makes you believe you have the right to accuse someone like him of slacking off during classes?

"I'll have you know, I've already completed the assigned task that Coach Vargas had given us. From what I've observed, you haven't even completed 5 laps you were meant to run." Oh, coming in just now, Mr. Azul Ashengrotto has turned the tables around with a smug look on his face! Will the prefect be able to catch up and defend themselves?

"I'm too tired to do all of that," you pout "and anyway, everyone knows you can't catch a break with Sir Vargas. Even if you're done with the task, he's gonna make you do one billion more things after that!!"

Azul relents, the prefect can be quite clever when they want to be. Just like during his overblot. Though, he wonders if it would be a good idea to tell them about his undying migraine. Perhaps they'll be able to find a clever solution for it. Oh wait, nevermind, they'll just come up with another ridiculous idea again.

"Fine, I suppose you're right." Sighing once more, "But you still haven't answered my initial question. What exactly do you need from me?"

You plop yourself down under the tree as well, "I just wanna talk to my best pal! Is something really so wrong with that!" Making yourself comfortable on the grass next to him, you make eye contact with Azul. Doesn't he have such pretty blue eyes and soft wavy hair? Would he look even prettier without glasses? How could someone so pretty have such a great personality too? Why is he always so put together even wh- Wait what?

"I'm not so sure if you can consider us 'best pals,'" Ouch, that stings. "I do hope you don't intend to talk to me about your ridiculous ideas again. Please, you're enabling Jade and Floyd to do just the same."

"Well, guess what, I'm not gonna do that!! Because my ideas aren't ridiculous!" In Azul's eyes, you probably look like you're throwing a tantrum right now. With you sounding so genuinely upset and all that. Perhaps you are upset, but not for the reason the octopus sitting beside you would believe. Your ideas being called ridiculous over and over couldn't be less of a concern than it is, the statement holds some truth after all. However, why couldn't you two be considered best pals? Did you not meet Azul's requirements to be considered a friend, a close associate yet?

"Right.. pl-" "Do you have a crush on anyone, Azul?"

...

"..Pardon?"

"You heard me."

...

Oh, the atmosphere couldn't be any more awkward than it already is. You can't just drop that out of nowhere, what are you doing?! Azul looks at you with a slightly uncomfortable face, not even he could mask his discomfort.

Well, that helped though. The awkwardness managed to remove his focus from the absolute headache he was having a minute ago. "Sorry, what instigated this question...?" Eye contact broken. He seems to be looking everywhere else other than at you now. The previously shown discomfort on his face had been masked, however bits of shyness still manage to escape.

The look on your face told him absolutely nothing. You seemed to hold not a care in the world, not a single thought in your mind.

Still with a completely neutral face, "Do you have a crush on Jamil?" It's almost as if you were playing a guessing game. What was Azul meant to say? While the cogs turned in his head, a fly flew in and out of yours.

"No. Jamil is a person of interest, but it is only becaus-" "Well, you should!"

Huh? What did you just say? Did you seriously just tell Azul who he should be interested in? Sometimes you were clueless and bold, but isn't it too much this time? A look of confusion from the octopus is garnered, he only blinks at you. "Why?"

In anticipation of whatever RIDICULOUS answer you'll give him, he prepares himself. "Because Jamil has a crush on me!" Had you hated him? Your wish was for Azul to give his heart to one who wouldn't be able to return theirs. Were you mad? Despite the preparations and the already existing expectation for a stupid answer, the octopus couldn't help but feel more confused.

"And what does that have to do with it? If Jamil truly loves you, why would you want me to love him?" Azul squinted at you. For once, he wasn't sure what you were trying to achieve from this idea. Through the development of your friendship, or whatever it was you had, he had learned your patterns and how to read you.

Unfortunately for him, at this very moment, you were unreadable. He had not the slightest clue of why you're doing this or what you're thinking. Jade's signature spell would be quite useful right now.

You beamed at him, "so that we can recreate a crazy love triangle trope!"

...

"Love.. triangle?" Although unsure of the meaning, at least he had an idea where this was leading.

"Yeah! It's where Person A has a crush on Person B, but Person B has a crush on Person C, but Person C has a crush on Person A! It's crazy!"

Recreate? Wait.

"Forgive me if I'm mistaken but..-"

"-you have a crush on me?"

A shocked expression slowly creeps its way onto your face. Good job.

"Perhaps you truly didn't think this through, prefect." You wish you could wipe the smirk off his face while he says that. Alas, you face the consequences of your own stupidity.

Shame, embarrassment, humiliation, you could feel all of it at once. You opted for staring down at the grass. Just like that, Mr. Azul Ashengrotto takes the lead and turns the tables once more! This time, it seems as though the prefect has no chance at redemption.

You felt him shift in the grass, "The situation we're currently in now, I suppose it is more of a love line."

"Love line?"

"Ah, of course. Allow me to return the favor and explain this to you, prefect. It's where Person A and Person B both have feelings towards Person C."

You blink. "I don't get it."

Mr. Octopus doesn't seem to elaborate any further, looking at you expectantly. This is a puzzle for you to solve on your own.

"So.. if Jamil has a crush on me... and two people have a crush on the same person, then...."

Azul smiles.

#azul ashengrotto #twisted wonderland #azul x reader #azul ashengrotto x reader #azul x yuu #azul ashengrotto x yuu #twst x reader #twst

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estbela · 2 months

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Just saw your post and was wondering if you have any SerbRo headcanons?

Yes. A lot. I'm so normal about them (lying). Although they might change and stuff, since I'm still working on my Serbia OC and stuff. At the moment he's mostly just vibes (and not that different from other serbia OCs anyway). Also the moment anyone asks me about anything I tend to forget anything Ive ever thought but I'll try.

Prepare for a lot of rambling. And for possibly regretting asking me this haha. Im also sleep deprived, as usual, so hopefully everything makes sense.

They're childhood best friends. I don't know exactly when they met, but they definitely met when they were children, and so they were best friends ever since.

Serbia was like...I think one of Ro's first friends? Besides Bulgaria. I think, in a way, they were both lonely wild children who were considered outcasts. In part for being nations, in part because they were both often disobedient and stuff, and thus were "bad kids".

They were such troublemakers as kids, and tbh, they still are. Whenever theyre together you gotta prepare for trouble.

they were both huge francophiles during the 19th century, I think. Idk I just picture them bonding about that.

They get along like a house on fire. They also might have lit up a couple of houses on fire together. What's a little arson between friends? :)

They're both animal lovers! It's also one of the things they bonded about when they first met(I can just imagine them being kids and telling eachoter all the animal facts they know). If they lived together it'd be them and a house full of animals I'm guessing.

They bully Bulgaria together. <3

Anyway more about their relationship.

they...understand eachoter. Understand eachoter so deeply. They know things about eachoter that almost no one else does. They talk about anything(like their interests and such), and about shit they would never be brave enough to discuss with anyone else. Show sides of themselves they didn't even know they had.

Yet they've never truly discussed...the fact that they might be more than friends. Or well, it took them a really long time of knowing eachoter to do so.

They're kindred souls. Also slightly codependent in the way, that they've grew up together, and went through so many things together, and even when they were alone, they still had eachoter. They're kind of inseparable at this point.

Yet, they can go on pretty long times of not talking to eachoter, but then they meet again and it's like...nothing really happened. They immediately pick where they left off. Thought, if they were to ever truly lose eachoter they would not deal with it well At All.

Anyway they both eventually have The Realisation, when theyre like teenagers. For Serb, I think it's maybe in the 16th century. I think...it's not exactly one moment that makes him realise it, but rather, multiple moments of just. Not wanting to be anywhere else in the world than with Ro. Just softly looking at him and having so much fun together.

For Ro...it's much of the same, although more reluctant, in some way. He doesn't really wanna fall in love. Something she learns early on in his life is that love between nations is tricky and often ends badly, and she's already got A Thing going on with Bulgaria.

They actually have their first kiss earlier thought. They're young teens, like maybe 13, or a little more, or less. It's the 14th century and theyre both curious about that kinda thing, and wanna practice for when they'll have a relationship.

And so they do eventually figure if out as I said, and they never talk about it, never say it aloud, but they Know. They know, and even if the both of them act so brave and confident most of the time, like they always know what they're doing, in things such as battle and in general facing enemies, they are afraid. Cause at the end of the day they are young and terrified that if they admit their love aloud it might twist and burn, or worse, it might be used against them, and then they'd lose their best friend.

But I think they do things that some ppl might consider to be of a romantic nature, like kissing and making out and cuddling and holding hands. Theyre both so touch starved, and even if Serb doesn't wanna admit it, he's even more clingy than Ro is. And everyone is kinda used to it cause thats just how Ro & Serb are like.

And like. Realising they love eachoter romantically, does not really change their dynamic cause they were already doing all of this stuff before.

Also, from the outside it might look like they make eachoter worse, but somehow, they manage to make eachoter better.

Their first kiss as teens, after The Realisation, was initiated by Ro.

and theyre not really children anymore but sometimes it feels like theyre two kids again, staring at the stars, talking about nothing in particular, as if they were the only things they mattered. They weren't nations, or well, they were, but sometimes they could almost forget that.

I think they do eventually talk about It. They're both shit at feelings, with Ro being slightly more emotionally intelligent i guess. In the 19th century, because their thing that's neither nothing or something was driving both of them a little insane. And they kinda get in an on and off relationship, but they dont use that word.

As far as anyone is concerned, theyre best friends. Best friends who perhaps aren't simply platonic, who have shared more than just friends ought to. But the fact is, calling eachoter best friends is not untrue, because that's what they are, thought they are also lovers.

And they have loved other people, and still continue to do so.

I guess they might try to not be too close, at least nto in public, when one of them is in a relationship of the monogamous kind, and theyre also the first person they go to after a break up.

Back to the understanding eachoter thing. I think they'd be willing to forgive eachoter for a lot of things, even if both of them are usually really petty(especially Serb). They'd also be willing to do things for eachoter they'd rarely do for others. Theyd kill for eachoter tbh.

I know this is very random and very different in tone after everything Ive talked about but they have a height difference and it's so cute. Serbia is like. 180 something centimeters while Ro is barely 170 cms shdhdhdhs. Anyway it's adorable.

Songs that make me think of them: Bad Idea from the musical Waitress, You don't need to love me from If/Then, Across the Overpass by the Solids...and way more that I cant remember.

And that's...not all. But all that I can remember at the moment cause my memory is shit. And woah, I talked so much about them dhdjddjdj. It's like the first time i ever get to ramble about them to anyone (besides one of my friends)

#just talking recreationally #hetalia #aph #hws #romania #serbia #serbro #I stg they live rent free in my head.

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normiematsu · 6 months

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SO CUTES.... MY THOUGHTS........

ive said before theyre like rivals 2 lovers in a way because before they get to know each other all of their interactions involve bumping into each other trying to get the same last piece of anime merch somewhere. eventually yuu is curious about choro bc isnt it kind of sus that hes always popping up wherever she does...! but he doesnt seem like a bad guy so she takes a chance and asks him to hang out. really this is rivals to friends to lovers....

they get along surprisingly well!! so one thing leads to another and they end up spending a looooot of time together, the whole time insisting they're totally just friends (osomatsu is especially insufferable about teasing them it makes him sick to see them all over each other but neither wants to make the first move)

after theyve hung out for a while and gotten closer maybe theres a period where shes super busy with work and cant hang out at ALL... just going in to the manga cafe and going home after cos theyre short staffed, dealing w customers all day and cleaning up after them... its making her insane doing clopening shifts over and over. her mind keeps wandering thinking stuff like "wow i am about to EXPLODE i wish i was hanging out at chibitas or at the arcade with c... c... ch...."

she hits a hard stop then and there. once that thought starts trying to finish itself she already knows shes cooked. the realization that shed rather be spending all her free time with choro is a lil terrifying to her bc she hadnt even realized she liked him that much...! this is so world shattering she would look stupid as hell behind the counter head in her hands with new customers walking in asking if shes ok LOL. she thinks for hours about this afterwards and cant sleep once she gets home.

the next day and from then out until she accidentally drunkenly confesses to him she tries so so so hard to keep up appearances but even choro can catch on to something being... off... about the way shes acting. he doesnt wanna get his hopes up bc hed honestly just be happy as her friend. but the way she steals glances at him when she thinks hes not looking..... the way she scoots the closest to him when everyone is eating at chibitas.... the way she puts up with his antics but never really truly looks down on him for being an otaku neet.... he cant help but hope she likes him back

BONUS: choro is the only one who knows Where she works and what exactly it entails (she tells everyone else she just works at a regular bookstore not a manga cafe, she doesnt want most ppl knowing shes an otaku) so it would be very cute and thoughtful if he showed up to her next shift to cheer her up. he goes up to the counter and coughs nervously to get yuu's attention. she looks up to see this guy she KNOWS is unemployed asking nervously to rent a half hour booth for what's probably his last 350 yen. he slides her favorite candy across the counter with his change. they are both exploding inside

#NO REFORMATTING NO BETA WE DIE LIKE MEN. hope this isnt hard to read its stream of consciousness yuucho...#yuucho #yuulore

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technovillain · 1 year

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I LOVE the aquatos' family dynamics theyre so juicy and interesting... Raz and Frazie's dynamic is an especially interesting one bc of all the implications like... the fact they used to play little psychic games together before frazie decided that was dangerous/childish... frazie girl you are 16(approx)

EXACTLY. The fact that Raz keeps encouraging her to admit her own psychic abilities and ensures her that it will be okay but she just can't believe him. And that he seemed surprised by that statement she made about the fact that they can't do psychic stuff together anymore because that was something they did when they were 'kids'.... like girl what happened to you!!!

I really like the dynamic between the children and parents of the Aquato family too bc its like. So many people will try to demonize Donatella or Augustus and it's like...have you even played the game and paid attention???? It perfectly captures that dynamic of like. Engrained systemic fear stemming from family trauma. Raz and Frazie both gauged the possible outcome of them telling their parents that they were psychic based on the perceived connections of psychic=bad, therefore these actions make me a deviant and I will be punished and hated for expressing them. And despite Augustus's appearance in the Meat Circus, I know for a fact that Raz does not hate his father or even fear him. The way that he immediately ran to him when his real father appeared in his mind showed that he knew that his father would embrace him no matter the environment. The scary version of Augustus stems from a worst-case scenario.

I feel like everyone has those. "Bad" versions of people that we love that are locked away in our heads. We know they aren't real. We know that realistically, they would never act this way. It is obvious that Augustus is a kind and loving father and only wants his family to be safe. Nona is all that he has, and he has to take her at her word about the family curse. And when Augustus sees this version of himself in his son's mind, he can't help but see the fear that he has accidentally instilled in his son, and by extension all of his children. But you know what he doesn't do? Take it as a personal attack and get mad at Raz. Instead he gives him all the power he can to help him and the Coach overcome this obstacle. Essentially by giving him his power, he is showing Raz that he would help him and love and support him no matter what, and that they are the same. And that's where that shift starts with his feelings about psychic powers.

But even with her dad now being psychic-friendly and even embracing his own powers, Frazie still can't get past that family guilt. Because she hears it from Nona, she hears it from Dion, from Donatella. She never got her own little runaway mission of glory, her own community of psychic peers. And while Raz was gone, he caused so much anxiety and stress for the family. Donatella's stress is obviously just connecting the dots between "things that make my family undergo stress" and "psychic powers" and she isn't wrong, but it isn't for the reasons that she expects. Frazie says at the end of her little conversation with Raz that she would consider joining the intern program, and I feel like that is the plot's way of telling us that she is almost ready to stop connecting those dots too, despite having more of that rhetoric put in her head than Raz over the events of the first game....I would love to see(/write?) more conversations that Raz and Frazie would have postgame....dunno man there's just so much POTENTIAL there with the Aquatos, you're so right!!!!

#i um....rambled a bit #ask #hcs #psychonauts 2 #.txt

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crimeronan · 3 months

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(re: modesty: I see I see. part of the impetus behind my thinking about it was wondering how Amity -- who I would imagine is significantly more uptight -- would or wouldn't change the vibe once she starts hanging around the empress's chambers all the time… like does Luz feel the need to Perform/appear more proper when she's around? does it frustrate her & Hunter a little? does Amity sense as much and feel awkward about it?)

thinking about this made me laugh because i think the three of them are being stupid. in their usual ways. which delights me

okay so there's a Tiny bit established wrt this with luz and amity already -- luz tries really hard not to look at amity much when amity is sleeping/in pjs/reading/comfy/etc. mostly because AU luz is neurotic about desire.

(it's not even internalized homophobia. diversity win! the bisexual empress would have exactly the same i'm-abusing-a-power-dynamic-by-noticing-theyre-hot panic spiral with an attractive dude witch too!)

the flip side, which i have technically not written into the ao3 AU yet (though there are outtakes with it): amity also clearly tries not to look at luz when luz is in pjs or more casual clothing. and luz is like oh she must be uncomfortable around me....

except luz has Also. woken up. to find amity sitting straight up and just Watching Her Sleep. with the fascination of a cat

(amity is like i cant look at her when she's awake she'll be able to tell i think she's pretty. then as soon as luz falls asleep amity is immediarely possessed by the spirit of a lesbian who has never seen another girl before)

i think amity is DEFINITELY more uptight about bare skin and casual touching and whatnot. amity also has a feeling in the beginning of "oh, i'm third-wheeling them because hunter is doing me a favor" and i think she'd definitely have an aneurysm if she saw luz and hunter sleeping together in any state of undress. very OH GOD SORRY I DIDNT SEE ANYTHING I SWEAR I UM I'LL GO. DO YOU GUYS WANT ME TO GOUGE OUT MY EYES OR-

but then the third and most hilarious leg of this is. hunter. bc he clocks that amity and luz are both acting really fucking weird around each other but i dont think he identifies "oh, theyre into each other." so he's like hey. could you two be fucking normal please

hunter who's been sleeping in a proper set of pajamas whenever amity comes over because she keeps being fucking weird about him being in bed with luz, one day just walking into luz's room and like. looking amity dead in the eye. pulling off his shirt. loudly announcing FABRIC IS ITCHY AND I AM NOT HAVING IT. YOU CAN SKEWER ME IF YOU MUST. I'D RATHER DIEEE

i don't remember where i was going with this. you migjt have wanted something poignant about relationship development in which case i apologize profusely. whenever i see an opportunity for "lumiter where hunter is there in a qpr capacity and doesnt understand dyke drama At All" i immediately lose the capacity to think about anything else.

#replies #toh #princess luz au #lumiter #shitty idiot repression gang #also. this isnt official canon bc im not sure how much protection hunter considers baseline when training #but cant shake the thought of luz being like #havent you and amity sparred like. multiple times without you wearing a shirt. what are you two Doing #i love. people being. stupid #horrible mindscape trauma pals #and who is that other witch

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shytastemakerthing · 1 month

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Hello I saw Matchups were open and so I wanted to give it a shot (apologies if theyre closed by the time I send this) but i would love one for twisted wonderland. Romantic or Platonic is fine I dont have a preference really. Maybe one for each? I'm an INTP, and a scorpio Personality wise, I guess reserved? I consider myself an ambivert as whilst i prefer to keep to myself I do enjoy talking to those I am close to and will extrovert if need I have a hard time articulating myself and my feelings, and as such have a hard time standing up for myself or voicing my opinions. Though I do act very differently around people I know, I'm louder, more expressive (or as much as I can be) more open to affection, as I am trying to be more affectionate to those I care about because sometimes I cross boundaries without realizing. I got kinda bad memory and often lose sight of things thanks to lack of object permanence, I'm more laid back I wanna call it? Not ambitious really, more of a go with the flow whatever happens happens. Though I do forget the impact I have on people for better or for worse, I don't always think about my actions will affect others because I forget that people actually care about me. I have a bad habit of ghosting and just being unavailable that I'm doing my best to offset by being open to communication. I love making bad jokes and puns, I love doing dumb little bits to cheer friends up, I love being a nuisance in a loving way. Hobbies I enjoy board games, video games, card games. I also enjoy reading, more of an indoor than outdoor person. My favorite way of bonding is just, spending time together. I hope this is alright I have never done one before and as I've said I'm bad at expressing myself

Hello and thank you for this request! I certainly had a few ideas as to who I would pair you up with but one certainly held out longer than the others! I Hope that you enjoy your match up!

Tw: None

I match you with..............

Ace Trappola

Please tell this man some for these bad jokes and puns you have, as much as he may seem a little uninterested, he really is. He could listen to you talk for hours. Usually he isn't that patient, but with you, he would make an exception

He is another one who sometimes goes too far without exactly realizing it, this is something you both work on, at least when it comes to going too far with each other

Last thing he wants it to break up over a misunderstanding

Please don't break up with him, he's desperate

Personally, he loves how you are a nuisance in a loving way. You show that you care in a way that is special and unique to you and he loves it when you do the same thing to him

He may even get into types of trouble on purpose just to see this side of you

Yes, Riddle has collared him for this on more than one occasion......

And no, he hasn't learned a thing

His memory isn't always the greatest, but he will put the effort in to be able to help you remember certain little details

Sticky notes, Index cards, little texts throughout the day, these are just some of his many methods to help you

Ace absolutely loves to spend time together with you

Half the time, where you are, he is either next to you or close by at any moment's notice

He would love it if you came to see him during practice during Basketball club, or to see any of his matches

Hey, he has his loving partner cheering him on while wearing his jersey, the man his having the time of his life

Overall, Ace had to take some time to make sure he didn't cross a line with you, as he had several times, but once past that, her certainly has his own unique way to show you that he loves you, and this is something he will continue to do for as long as possible

Thank you so much for your request!!!

#twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #twst #matchups #shy writes #disney twisted wonderland #twst imagines #romantic #shy answers #Ace Trappola #Twst Ace Trappola #Twst Ace Trappola x reader #Twst Ace x reader

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eyelessfog · 11 months

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i would like to hear more about the funky rocks!!

okay okay so land of the lustrous starts with you meeting this guy, their name is phos. phos has a hardness level of. does not check notes but squints into the air as if it will tell them the correct answer. 3.5 i think. which is a pretty low hardness level. which means phos can shatter REAAALLLY easily

now, this sucks because there are these guys called lunarians [they come from the moon] who are trying to . not kill the gems, per say? but like. collect them. it legitimately gets more screwed up when you learn more <- happens like 50+ chapters in so we're not talking about that. so they shatter the gems n then pick up the pieces. but the cool thing is that actually you can put the gems back together so long as you have enough pieces? so yeah some guys might shatter but so long as you dont let the lunarians pick them up, they'll be fine afterwards

actually let me drop some lotl lore on you real quick, not about the story but about the before and how these guys work, right.

so first of all, humans used to exist on the planet. its earth, you know? but humans made this robot, right? and the robot was supposed to tell them if any meteors would hit the earth. but this robot LIED and said nooo youre fiiine and they believed it right. and then the meteor hit, and then they were like oh shit. and made another robot but they weren't sure if they could trust this one either and SEVEN WHOLE METEORS HIT which was the end of the world as humankind knew it and so on and so forth

but then organisms rose from the ocean, right. and bonded to gemstones. and these organisms would control the gems, and all together they'd act as a brain, right? and all of them have memories and thoughts and stuff attached to them, so if you loose some, you lose memories, right? yeah. okay glad we got that covered

now its sort of like. how to say. so its explained that humans got split into three parts, and those three parts continue to walk the earth, but its not like thats LITERALLY what happened but metaphorically. symbolism means that yes, thats what happened. humans were split into bone, flesh, and spirit. the gems are the bones

anyway phos is sooooo so bored man. so bored. okay . phos wants to fight!!! like the cool kids!!!! but theyre not strong enough :( they have to be this stupid encyclopedia author which is soooo boring <- phos is such a little shit by the way. kind hearted but they're kind of very selfish. <33] i cant belieeeevveee i have to do this are you kidding. let me fight. i can do it <- they cannot do it

and its. okay let me like. closes trap door over my head, come here if you want to hear more, there's spoilers but also cookies

okay so phos is just. so bored of being. exactly as they are. but it isnt really possible for them to be anything different? they arent human, they can't grow and change the same way humans can [not that. they know what a human is.] but they meet this other gem named cinnabar who is really lonely bc they have poison in their gem that can kill other gems. and phos promises that theyre going to help cinnabar be happy okay. promise. promise promise promise. we're going to get you a new job and youre going to love it okay?? okay

and then the lunarians drop a huge snail on them and then the snail SHRINKS?? and phos picks up the small snail who is now a slug??? who phos can now TALK TO because when she was big the snail slug ate them. dont even worry about it. anyway the slug gets phos to bring her back to her home which is deep in the ocean because shes not only a slug but a ocean PRINCESS who needs to GET HOME and phos walks her all the way there [she transforms halfway there. shes cute] and once they get there they're like okay i dont know what ocean kingdom youre talking about but im exhausted. lemme. lie down a sec

and then shes like hey im really sorry about this AND THEN THE LUNARIANS DROP IN AND GRAB PHOS AND PHOS IS LIKE YOU BITCH ASS WHAT????? and shes like im sorry. but they have my brother. i want my brother back. and then the brother gets dropped into the ocean as ALSO a giant snail and then goes up to the lunarians as a guy. and phos kind of goes "oh... i mean i guess... you wanted your brother back. and all the other gems dont want me. so.. fair trade, yeah" and then slug woman is like . hm actually no. i like you as a person so get out and my brother will give you some of his shell to replace the legs you lost and we'll bring you back to your friends. and the gems, who have been up literally all night looking for phos are like THERE YOU ARE.. MAN... DUDE WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU

okay so now i get to make it simpler instead of. that ^

basically, phos replaces their legs w the shell, which is like. really strong actually? stronger than what theyre actually made of, you know? and generally gems cant do this, but phos can put their organisms into materials that aren't their own? like it doesnt have to be phosphophyllite for it to be part of phos. so phos gets legs, and the legs are super fast.

timeskip, phos goes through The Issues, loses their arms, loses a best friend in the most fucking tragic way, and gets gold arms out of it. these gold arms are like. how to say. like they're not a good karat. its liquid gold. REALLY useful id like to say

the issues again. phos loses their head, gets replaced with the smartest gem's head. lapis lazuli. its. GOD okay so memory is lost every time, you know? like ever so slowly, phos is losing parts of themselves and theyre slowly becoming unrecognizable? and its not even their fault that theyre losing bits of themselves. at first they just wanted to be helpful!!! then they ACTIVELY avoided doing what lost them their arms, but the ice stole their arms anyway??? and then the head thing - they finally got what they wanted, they finally got to fight, and they lost their head for it LIKE..

and theyre becoming less like themself, because theyre forgetting core bits of themself. i think it actually shot me through the heart when phos asked if cinnabar wanted to go to the moon with them <- i dont feel like explaining here but you can ask for context] because it would be a new job for them.

because the story put so much emphasis on phos having first wanted to give cinnabar a new job to make them happy, but phos FORGOT THAT PART OF THE DEAL. phos remembered "i'll find you a new job" and forgot "that will make you happy. that won't make you lonely." and cinnabar didnt even need that. cinnabar asked "will it make me happy?" and phos said "oh, no, probably not" and cinnabar says afterwards, when phos is long gone, that they would have agreed, if phos just said that they WANTED cinnabar to come along.

phos makes me ill because they change so much, but its. to me? phos doesn't fall into the "why didn't he just not turn back." like i absolutely love the story of orpheus and euridice, but i know what people say, and they cant say it to phos. because phos DIDNT turn back. but they got punished for it anyway. are you listening to me. its so dark in here

#[asks]#summarizing lotl makes me realize just how wild it is

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trickstarbrave · 1 year

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i know ppl like to rip into younger lgbt ppl parroting bigoted talking points in relationship to kink but i dont think its bc theyre secretly bigoted or have been brainwashed by evil infiltrators trying to tear communities apart.

its bc for a good handful of formative years for these kids it was the norm for the most repulsive members of the kink community to target them for sexual harassment. like there was a few years on this website alone who would go out of their way to steal photos of actual real children to role play with or role play on the blogs and pages of minors. and when said kids are like “UHM this is my post i see all the notes on can you not graphically describe sex on it” they would be met with like. actual death threats. and it was on instagram and twitter too.

“but brave they arent representatives of the kink community” listen you and i both know that. we both know these people are usually not welcome in actual kink spaces. we both know a lot of the kink community puts its pride in safety and consent above all else. but when you are 13 and your first experience is someone sexually harassing you online, you arent gonna have the best idea of kink in mind

“well thats their own fault” its not easy to just tell someone to get over it. its not gonna do anything. when you tell them shut up its not like that what they actually hear is “i dont care about what you experienced and i think you’re a stupid liar who is getting in my way, shut up and sit there in silence and shame”. instead i think in most cases the bare minimum of actual respect without condescension and proper education can do wonders.

some of these kids are just kids with internet censorship brainrot and a bone to pick with the world and like to punch down but also a lot are kids who have actually experienced horrible shit they shouldnt have by assholes who wouldnt be welcome in most kink spaces but have decided to act like they run all kink communities ever.

like a quick explanation can just be “there wont be any actual sex at pride. no one will be expecting you to engage with it if youre uncomfortable. we do actually care about actual proper consent. the most you might see is some gear just being worn. but open self expression and not feeling shamed for sex is apart of the lgbt community as we are often all lumped in as weird perverts who should be arrested/killed so we need to show solidarity together because at the end of the day a bigot doesnt care if youre a white cis vanilla good person gay or not they want all of us gone and see all of us as exactly the same.

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abimee · 1 year

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edw spoilers just in case [salutes]

i talked to mags last night about ruyan and tock's indivitual time in elpis and tock has an entirely different time but in ruyans universe i think hades does send a missive back about althaeas familiar like a har har for sending this thing and Althaea, knowing fully damn well she only has one familiar and its Eos and shes literally right next to her, recognizes that something is afoot, but dares not mention it back to hades

no she realizes that someone is lying that theyre her familiar and her interest is IMMEDIATELY piqued, and since she has family working in elpis she KNOWS she would not look out of place visiting, so she BOOKS it there and slips past everyone with them assuming ''oh althaea is here visiting her father''

but she makes sure that hades and hythlo doesnt know shes here, and she immediately deciphers who this mystery familiar is (Ruyan) and understands that she is most certainely either

A) not from this time B) knows something althaea doesnt

so Althaea basically stalks ruyan around elpis to see what shes up to acting as her familiar, all while her actual familiar Eos watches him as well

and i think Althaea puts some pieces together? She doesnt know how, she doesn't know why, and she doesn't fully get where, but she knows that Ruyan must know her, and that Ruyan isn't from here, and so something very, very silly is afoot.

But Althaea also knows that silly little plots like this mean that something very meticulous is happening and must not be disturbed, so Althaea tries not to intervene; but she so badly wants just a moment, and i think in a lull she gets awfully close by to Ruyan and gains his attention and eventually manages to call her over. and IMMEDIATELY Althaea is like ''do NOT tell me anything about you, do NOT say anything i shouldnt know, all i want is to meet you'', and Ruyan realizes that he is in fact standing in front of his fully unsundered self from 15,000 years ago and that she has ''caught'' him in his lying act.

But all she does is get really excited about how for SOME reason, someone or some thing from some where has come here, and she KNOWS about Althaea, and its the coolest thing ever to her! And I think Althaea puts some pieces together and guesses that Ruyan is somewhow connected to althaea in some way, meybe a reborn her from the future, because their aether is exactly the same, but Althaea is for sure that Ruyan isn't any creation of hers. But she's just so EXCITED to see the future standing before her, and she cant stop touching Ruyan's face and scales and hair and the glasses she wears, curious and wondering what the future is like where Ruyan had come from, where people like Ruyan exist born the way they are (points to althaeas ears) and can live without ridicule.

I think the utter joy and delight on Althaea's face churns something in Ruyan's gut, but he promised not to reveal anything or say anything to Althaea she shouldn't know, and even when he tries she shuts Ruyan down and tells her that she must not know, it will ruin the magic of wondering.

Althaea eventually has to return, especially knowing that hades is lurking around and she must not be seen randomly in Elpis after she had missed the chance to come cause she was on an expedition and therefore raise Hades's own suspicions, but i think Althaea Ruyan not by asking a question about the future, but by telling Ruyan one thing, and it's that she hopes that wherever Ruyan came from, and for whatever reason, that she knows that Althaea is rooting for her from the past, and that she hopes that Ruyan enjoys the time she came from and doesn't linger in the past, for to Althaea, living in a past is missing out on the excitement of an unknown tomorrow. She gives Ruyan (essentially herself) a kiss on the cheek, and tells Ruyan that if she wanted to pretend to be one of her familiars she should've made herself an awful lot smaller (especially alluding to Tock, who is lalafell), and then disappears off with Eos in a flash of blue butterfly wings, never to be seen by Ruyan ever again

#i think this is how althaea knows to tell themis about the guiding star #i think althaea just assumes that ruyan ought to still be around to help out in elpis and that she will come to themis' aid #because if they share the same aether then that means they share the same love and althaea loves themis a lot #so ruyan will ought to love him as well. anyway [throws myself off a short pier]

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cosmicallyavg · 1 year

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18, 19, 22

what is a line/scene you’re really proud of? give us the DVD commentary for that scene.

jhjdahkjd as embarrassing as it is every time i think about it. i genuinely am so proud of myself for the entirety of “let your eyes look up upon me for the better”??? like wtf was that? i wrote sex? and ive been told it was good? by many people? what???? like the whole thing could use a DVD commentary, like i could break down every line but that would take so long and i doubt anyone actually would read it all but ill just do a quick summary of my commentary for it.

i genuinely think thasmin has awoken something in me because never in a million years would i have thought i would want to write something mature and i actually did?? and still think of similar ideas to this day? but i really feel such strong connections to each of the characters in different ways that i wanted to depict in this fic, so i did. you could do a whole psychoanalysis on me based on the fic alone because so much of myself is in there adkjsgjsdf

as an asexual person, fanfiction is a scary place to navigate because there is a lot of very explicit sex, which for some might not be a huge deal, but for me it is. so i wanted to create something that i was comfortable writing, and therefore would be comfortable reading, that still allows me to participate in that sort of writing. and i hope other ace people who are typically uncomfortable reading smut would be able to read as well. i wanted to write sex from what i call “the ace-gaze” where the focus is on the emotion and the characters rather than on the actual sexual acts themselves. and what better vessel to portray it than thasmin?? because i do sometimes want characters to do that kind of stuff, but i dont want to be quite literally disgusted reading it. smut always feels so fake to me. like ur telling me those people just Did that? and no one feels nervous or scared? unrealistic. dont want it. reading something else.

so seeing myself in these characters, i wanted them to be able to engage in such activities, but i wanted it to be realistic, to be exactly how i would imagine things to progress between the two. because with the doctor being asexual (they are and you cannot take this from me) and yaz only just admitting that she’s queer and therefore being inexperienced (my personal headcanon) i just Know it would be so awkward. and i didnt want to skirt around it, i wanted it to feel real. that neither of them know what theyre doing but they just want to have the experience together because they dont have much time left and they love each other 😭😭😭

so yeah. there are so many layers to that fic and i could talk about it for hours analyzing every line i wrote but that would be. a lot to unpack.

who is the easiest/hardest character for you to write about? why?

i genuinely typed up a whole response for this and then decided i wanted to change my answer so here we go jsdfhskjd

my range of characters that i have written is very very small but i have found that writing actions/dialogue for the doctor is a lot more fun than for a companion? like theyre so neurodivergent theyre just like me fr so a lot of the awkwardness comes naturally to me vs a companion that is generally less ND, or at least that they dont express it in a way that i can relate to and therefore can write easier.

now when it comes to exposition/the internal monologue of a character, using the companion’s POV is a lot easier bc it can be hard to express how i imagine the doctor’s internal monologue is. like thoughts jumping from one to the next to the next with seemingly no connection?? ultimately i Get it, like my brain does the same thing, so im no stranger to the process, but writing it in a way that is effective and that makes sense to readers can be difficult.

and generally the stories that i come up with are more easily depicted from the companion’s POV, so i get to do their internal thoughts and then the doctor’s actions/dialogue. so it’s often the best of both worlds!! but my current WIP actually is told mostly from the doctor’s POV so we Are switching it up a bit here soon 👀

TL;DR: ultimately it depends on what aspect of writing we are talking about, whether its actions, dialogue, exposition, prose, description, etc. because each character can be easier/harder for some and not the others.

have you cried while writing a fic?

no, but i definitely do write a line sometimes and i feel the sort of happy/sad/etc that i would hope my readers will feel when they read it. like sometimes i write something and im genuinely impressed with my capabilities because i type the line and i just Know the readers are going to eat it up

fic author questions <3

#ask games #timelostdoctor

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zot3-flopped · 2 years

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I mean, of course he wasnt gonna be completely dry with Kendall or Camille, he was dating them. But there’s a huge difference. With Kendall they were at the forum in like, a VIP area filled with other celebs (I remember Tom Hanks and Kathy Griffin were there). They were watching Eagles, so not exactly the demographic for his own audience (he was still 19!). He had one arm loosely wrapped around her shoulder while he talked to someone to his right. Someone shone a light on them (I think they were saying who the celebs in the audience were) and Harry immediately dropped his arm to his side. You can see it in the sequence of pics.

With Camille, they were watching Fleetwood Mac, which is also not exactly his Target audience. Also, one arm loosely wrapped around her shoulder. And they were also among a small crowd, secluded in a circle of friends in a VIP area. He also dropped his arm from around her when he realized people were filming them.

With Olivia, he was in a 100k crowd, in full view of everyone, super close to the stage, watching Billie Eilish, who has basically his exact Target demographic, during a festival he also performed at. His arms were fully around her, he held her close to his chest, she was laying her head on his shoulder, and when he noticed people were watching/filming… he did nothing. Just frowned and continued to watch the show without moving his arms one bit, continuing to sway to the music.

No one is saying his changes with Olivia are incredibly drastic. He’s still Harry. But the changes are there. Aside from one kiss during New Year’s with Taylor (what exactly was he supposed to do? Not kiss his girlfriend at midnight? Wouldn’t that be super shitty?) the only other times we saw him kiss someone was that one time Emma Ostilly kissed him goodbye on the lips (he didn’t initiate it, didn’t move, and I don’t think they actually hooked up, since she very clearly had a boyfriend who she would later marry). And in the yacht with Kendall, we assume he did because of the positions of their heads but we can’t actually SEE anything because he put a towel up.

With Olivia, he danced with her on top of a yacht, and then proceeded to fully make out with her (when you see the pics in motion you can tell it wasn’t just a short kiss). And then also went ahead and initiated three more kisses (that we have pictures of) throughout the day.

The last time he’d hold hands with someone was Taylor (I think they held hands 2/3 times). He was 18. He didn’t once hold hands with Nadine Kendall Paige Camille. With Olivia the first time we saw them as a couple was holding hands and they’ve done it multiple times since then. Most of the times we see them, theyre either holding hands or he has his arm around her shoulders, or is touching her in some way.

Like, he didn’t get a personality transplant but to act like its not glaringly obvious that this is VERY different than his other relationships is to have blinders on. He’s very obviously head over heels, has said multiple times how happy he is (so has she btw), they live together, they share PDA, and at this point he’s been with her almost twice as long as his second longest relationship (i dont think he was with Camille for a full year, officially, I think they broke up earlier than it was announced).

And Olivia is a mature woman who’s in the same business as him and has two children. People need to wake up and realize this isn’t a game at all.

👏👏👏👏 Love this, thank you.

#harry styles olivia wilde

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diaryofahomosexual · 1 year

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12:04 Oh also I had a single edible when we got home from his Nanny’s right, and I had an edible as soon as I got home right around 9:30, around 10:15 I feel goofy and around 10:40 I slipped into an hour and 20 minute time dilation [12:00AM RN] exactly like the two trips I told y’all about last time (I’m actually still tripping major balls; experiencing events before they happen so my brain processes them before they seem like they’re happening to me right, which makes them feel infinite, and making everything I see or do RN a BAD MEMORY like I swear to god I’ve been hearing my mom clank pans in the sink for an hour and then also hearing random bits of sentence dialogue just actual randomly, like I had originally experienced during my first bad high right like hearing random barks and sounds from things that DEF ARENT HAPPENING AROUND ME??? And bro this trip was the most wild bcuz I was the most aware of it like this has been absolutely terrifying to experience again?? But also I hate that I love it like the thrill of not knowing if I’m gonna make it out of the time dilution type thrill ugh I can vent abt this for hours

12:07 I want to write an essay about everything I’ve felt in the past 80 minutes but it’s so refreshing and also terrifying to experience? I don’t want to ever have this feeling while at work? and my brain confuses this exact feeling with how reality actually is? And that it takes the weed to activate it ya know?

12:08 And something more fuckign wild was that I can describe what I mean by communicating with the 4th dimensional beings now, what was happening is I was thinking something, and then the people and objects around me were reacting TOGETHER RANDOMLY to make a reply to.

12:11 So I was conversing with myself but with the surroundings? So I would think “Oh for this to stop do I need to ____” (ex: oh no I’m super stupid high again do I need to (and then I see a dog) and then a TV show or my mom and dad talking would SPEAK OUT IN RESPONSE “oh- yea-H”)) or Id think “

Life can be a totally different conversation between several dimensions right. Like a 4 dimensional one? The being that I just was right now, was talking with the environment I was feeling like deadass

12:15 So a thought talking and then a brain talking with the rest of the environment around it. Like life doesn’t matter because we are a conversation between those things too. And also I know I’m still high because I’m still having these conversations. Like my body was getting so hot temp wise when I was telling myself “Oh no I got stupid high because Weed is bad and always bad for you!!” And then literally the TV would say no in the dialogue. And just now I’m feeling cold when I was walking around thinking that was the best thing it was like playing A Literal Hot and Cold game with reality itself.

12:20 I’m very much in a wild spot rn because I’m simultaneously like Yo It Deadass Will Be Okay Though, YOUVE DONE THIS TWICE BEFORE AND YOU DID A LOT OF MENTAL WORK BETWEEN THE LAST TIME AND THIS TIME. YOU WERE READY TO ACTUALLY TAKE AN EXPERIENCE AND LESSON AWAY THIS TIME.” And also bein like “Oh my God This is hell because everyone is acting this way BECAUSE THEYRE TRYING TO STOP ME FROM FEELING LIKE THIS, AS IF I WAS DISRUPTING THE SIMULATION SO THEY SAME AND DO RANDOM THINGS LIKE RANDOTRON FROM RICK AND MORTY IS CONTROLLING THEM. THIS LIFE SUCKS FOR THEM BECAUSE THEY ARE TRAPPED BECAUSE OF YOUUUUU but then it’s also like Yo I’m just actually high as balls rn and other people experience the same high I do but going in a diff perspective so the high itself is different

12:21 Sorry for the LITERAL FLOW OF STONED AF CONSCIOUSNESS

#vent #triggering #thc #thank god I’m off from work…#RIP ME TMRW

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many-gay-magpies · 2 years

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NO LITERALLY I FEEL THE SAME WAY LIKE. MY FOUND FAMILY BITCH T H R I V E S WATCHING THOSE MVS LIKE YEAH . VRVR LOOKING FOR THEIR LITTLEST FRIEND KANGMIN. THE DARK MOON BOYS LIVING IN THE ORPHANAGE WITH THEIR TRADITIONS AND DAILY ROUTINES. ATEEZ CHILLING ON THEIR PIRATE SHIP. THE LOONA YYXY GIRLS IN THEIR WERD LITTLE BOARDING SCHOOL. I LOVE ALL OF THAT SO MUCH. thank you so much for telling me about the mini comics i appreciate it a lot i will go read- ALSO HELI HAS A PILOT’S LICENSE??? WILD I WOULD NEVER TRUST THAT MAN BEHIND A WHEEL, ESPECIALLY NOT WHEN IT HAS WINGS.

and never apologize for giving a long response to an ask i literally love hearing from u pls

- vrvr anon

PLEASEEEEE THATS ONE OF MY FAV PARTS OF KPOP LORE FR. why else would you make a bunch of kpop idols act out a complex story if its not to shove their characters into a fictional found family together.??

another of my favs in that department is ghost9 because (as far as i can gather anyway, i haven't kept up with their lore much) theyre literally just some kids. theyre a bunch of kids that happened to witness and/or cause an alien/robot/android invasion and i just think its neat!

HELI LMAO-- ill be honest if theres anyone in the dark moon gang id trust to pilot heavy machinery it'd probably be either him or jaan. and i made a post about this a while ago but it was way before i got into vrvr (so way before you started sending me asks), but i honestly kind of adore the fact that heli can both physically and LEGALLY fly a helicopter because. well it just seems like exactly the kind of thing a vampire would do! like imagine youre immortal and youve been stuck as an older teen/young adult for a few decades, i could totally see myself just going "huh i guess im gonna be here for a while, what weird obscure thing could i learn how to do to pass the time?" and then so im not flying around helicopters illegally id go and get licensed for it

(also sidenote, i JUST realized as i was typing that out that heli. helicopter. HELI-copter. hybe ur not slick)

no SAMEEE i dont think ive mentioned this yet but every time i get an anon ask now i get so happy (esp if i can see that it starts with smth ridiculous like "OKAY BUCKLE UP BUDDY"). im just like !!!! its vrvr anon!!!! vrvr anon sent an ask again!!! im gonna get to type out lengthy paragraphs about lore or kpop groups or whatever !!!! it adds such a spark of joy to my day whenever i get a new ask from you its so fun :3

#asks #i will continue to proudly write essay-length answers then. HSJFBFJFB #anon 📝#vrvr anon

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writingonsaturn · 3 years

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Better Unsaid

a/n okay this has been all over the place!! it was originally going to be a blurb and darker and closer to smutty (so keep your eyes out for that??? lol), but then I made it softer and the concept got away from me and it got soooo much longer than expected lmao and i still dont love where it ended so maybe part 2?? i have the idea i just dont know lol

summary: Reader is a princess and Anakin has been her guard during the most public season for the past two years (not the most logical thing but just go with it lol, it gets explained better in the fic) and after a near death experience the two are conveniently forced into a....

ONE BED TROPE ONE BED TROPE *cough cough* ONE BED TROPE WITH ONE PERSON HAVING TO WAKE UP THE OTHER BC THEYRE HAVING A NIGHTMARE,, :)))))))

His smugness is the only thing about him I can consider ‘ugly’. And because I am so desperate to not have feeling for Anakin, the Jedi who has been assigned to protect me through coronation season (which lasts for most of winter), for the last two coronation seasons, I hold onto my distaste for that side of him. Which is why I suppress my laugh as he waits for my reaction with that confident smile.

“Come on, that was funny.”

Rolling my eyes, I let myself sit on my bed. I can’t tell if he’s actually funny or if my evening has been so boring that his sense of humor has started to become appealing to me due to comparison. In short, the suitor I was forced to spend an entire evening with lacked personality so much I’m starting to find Anakin funny.

“You’re much more entertaining than this evening’s suitor.”

Anakin’s expression shifts slightly, his assured grin dropping slightly. “Another miss?”

“You have no idea.” I relax slightly, taking a moment to be glad that I completed my father’s request and now I can just enjoy the time I have with Anakin. “I know my father’s desperate to make sure my marriage is useful for our people and that he worries about this selection process because he always thought my mother would be here to help, but sometimes I wish he wouldn’t rush it so much. It feels like all he wants me for is to marry me off in exchange of finance or weaponry or something diplomatic.”

“You’re more than that.” His response is so soft I think I might have missed it if I needed it less. I curse myself for feeling so validated by him. His words shouldn’t mean anything to me. After all, he could easily just be saying that because agreeing with my father will just make me more unpleasant to be around.

I smile politely while avoiding his eyes. I keep my hands on either side of me, fighting the urge to fidget. “Thank you, Anakin.” My words sound weak in my own ears, so I’m sure he notices my shift in mood. “I’m tired today, I think I’m going to go to bed early.” Normally, I’d be able to shrug off these kinds of things, but the beginning of Coronation Season makes me irritable. The anniversary of my mother’s death hits me harder each year.

“Y/n.” My name comes out so velvety I can’t find it in myself to interrupt him. “You are more than someone meant to be used as some kind of royal currency, and I mean that as more than just a...friend.”

I let his last word linger. We’ve tried so many titles that never seem to fit right. He’s the chosen one, one of the most powerful Jedi to exist, and the Jedi assigned to protect me each Coronation Season because that’s when my mother was assassinated. He’s my guard, but we’ve spent too many nights laughing together and talking about everything and anything. And I guess now he’s my friend, even though sometimes when he looks at me in a certain way or sits too close to me or reaches for my hand to guide me somewhere I can’t breathe right.

“Anakin, you know I love when you’re here, even though sometimes you drive me insane. And I appreciate your kindness, but your words can’t change the truth. That’s how my father sees me and he’s not exactly wrong. I’m not a son, I haven’t been raised to lead an army or lead much, and--”

“I’ve seen you in meeting after meeting, convention after convention. I’ve witnessed the way you handle real problems and I know how you care about your people. You’d make a great leader, you don’t need a husband to be valuable.”

My chest swells, feelings I never let myself think about mixing with thoughts of Anakin that I’ve spent so long trying to avoid. “That settles it, you’re my favorite person.”

He grins, the look warm enough to melt the odd lump in my throat. I fight down a smile as he steps forward. “And I wasn’t before?”

“I take it back--your head’s big enough without the additional praise.”

Rolling my eyes, I lean back slightly in order to recreate the distance he so easily destroyed. “And I thought you had finally warmed up to me, princess.”

The use of my title makes me skeptical. The last time Anakin used it was when he was trying to ease me so that I’d walk around the palace garden so he had an excuse to do the same. It was beyond late and I was half asleep, but he had os much energy he was desperate and just needed to do one more thing. I felt bad that his schedule revolved so heavily around mine (and when he softens his eyes and says please, I’m left incapable of saying the word ‘no’) so I agreed.

“What do you want?”

Anakin dramatically clutches a hand over his heart. He throws his head back slightly as if he’s just taken a fatal blow. “When did you turn so cynical? I’ve been back for three days and I’m starting to believe you’re a different person now.”

Yeah...he’s definitely getting ready to ask for something that’s more trouble than it’s worth. Then again, everything with him seems to be worth it in some capacity. Even if it’s just that one smile he gets when he’s truly content and doesn’t think anyone’s looking.

“Mhm,” I mumble, still fighting a grin, “so you’re not going to ask me anything?”

His lips part slightly as he exhales. I watch the way his eyes narrow at my victorious expression. “I don’t have anything to ask of you, but I do have a small request. A request so small you won’t have to do anything but say yes.”

Suspicious. Too easy. “You’re unbelievable.”

“You just said I was your favorite person. Remember that.”

I’m too tired for his coyness. I’d rather him make his ridiculous request now so that I can be in bed within the hour. Though I can’t pretend I don’t normally feel better after letting him drag me along on whatever ‘adventure’ he just needed to complete while also not letting me out of his sight. I used to tell him that I wouldn’t tell anyone if I wasn’t under supervision for an hour or two a day, but he dismissed the idea immediately. That’s been the cornerstone of everything.

“What is it?”

He sighs once, tilting his head slightly. The way his eyes soften tells me he’s already won at least half the battle. “They still haven’t caught the attempted--” Anakin pauses, something behind his eyes darkening. I know what he’s remembering. Last night, an assassin had gotten closer than they ever had. I had almost been shot in the garden, Anakin had barely pushed me to the ground in time. A fact he’s been beating himself up for since, especially considering that no one has been able to find my attempted killer yet. “They were so close to you. They were within palace limits and they disappeared like they never existed. Who’s to say they don’t work here and are waiting for the next moment you’re exposed? Who’s to say they aren’t here tonight, waiting for me to retire for the night?”

I didn’t realize how my near death experience had been so personal to him. He, like everyone else, was beyond frantic after it happened. But my father put an end to verbal worry before it could truly begin. He said the best thing we could do was act like everything was fine as the assailant was searched for. Anakin hadn’t been particularly cheery after my father instructed the guards to focus their search on known enemies instead of prioritizing venting the staff closest to me. I comforted him as best as I could, but he didn’t feel like speaking about it and I had to worry about the suitor meeting my father wouldn’t let me cancel.

“Anakin, you’re right next door to me.” I have to fight the urge to reach for him. “I was fine because of you, and I will be fine because of you.”

He sighs once, his expression not easing. “And if the person is silent? The attacker could easily work in the palace, but no one wanted to direct the search inwards.” His words are more strained than I’ve ever heard them be. “I think it’d be smart for me to stay in here. I know you’ve refused having a guard stay in your room or outside your door, but...” Anakin sighs. “Your safety would be more assured.”

Him staying in my room? The only line I’ve ever been allowed to draw, and I’m actually considering letting that go. If he seemed even slightly less sad, I wouldn’t even consider it. It’s not a good idea. I’m already too attached to him. “Anakin--”

“I’d feel more assured.”

Damn him. Stupid, extremely sweet Anakin who makes saying no to him impossible. I stretch my arm forward, letting my hand squeezes his forearm gently. “There’s no reason to not feel assured.” He doesn’t ease, the cloudiness behind his eyes remains stubborn. “You’re still worried.” No reaction, the haze that’s taken him isn’t letting go. “Fine--but tell no one or my father is going to take to posting guards at my door every night.”

...I guess there are worse ways to spend a night. Which is kind of a problem since I’m trying to...enjoy Anakin less. Ugh, I even sound dumb in my head. “I promise, princess.”

Ugh, he’s adorable. “You’re intolerable.” I stand from he foot of my bed and pull back the covers on my bed. He doesn’t reply, something dark still playing for him. I watch him move to face the door. Wait--is he doing what I think he’s doing? “No, you’re not going to stand there all night. You need sleep.” He has the audacity to give me an annoyed look. “I already didn’t want to do this so now you have to listen to my conditions.”

He raises an eyebrow, his lips pressing together oddly. He’s trying to gauge something from my expression, perhaps he’s looking for buttons to press to get his way. I guess I look as stubborn as I feel because instead of arguing he just sits on the floor. What? I watch him cautiously, trying to figure out if this is some weird argument trick.

“What are you doing?”

“What you asked.”

And just like that I’ve put myself in a position that I will no doubt regret terribly the second common sense returns to me. There’s no way to deny that Anakin and I are closer than we probably should be. We’ve felt like friends first since the day we first met. I can’t think of any reason to not offer to let him sleep in my bed except those stupid budding feelings I refuse to label.

It’s not like I actually like him. I can’t--I’m going to be married to some nobleman and he’s prohibited from ever forming attachments. I’m not even sure if we’re allowed to be friends. Having actual feelings for him would be so, so pointless. It would just lead to heartache and the ruining of the one genuine relationship I have. I’m just a tiny bit confused right now because he’s objectively really attractive and he’s always there for me. Always there to make a joke after a particularly rough meeting. Always there to offer me a supportive smile. Always there to humble me when I teeter on acting like my father.

Anyone’s heart would flutter at that, so it doesn’t mean anything. And if it does, I need to squash any budding feelings now before I mess things up. Which is why I should keep him at arm’s length until I get it together. But is that fair to him? And what if doing that is making things worse? What if it’s just reinforcing the idea of having feelings?

This is ridiculous. I’m going to get over this if it kills me. It’s just a bed and it’s only sleeping. I’m meant to be able to lead an entire union and I can’t sleep next to someone and act normal?” “You don’t have to sleep on the floor.”

The second the words leave my mouth I regret it all. What’s wrong with me? Did I seriously think I’d be okay?

I hear his soft exhale, “I’ll be fine. I’ve slept in worse places than on your marble floor.”

His voice sounds so weighted I can’t help but feel bad for not noticing that he’s still bothered. Whether he’s upset about his near miss or the fact that my father didn’t take his advice, I don’t know. But something’s wrong. The easy thing to do would be to just let him sleep it off. The smart thing to do would be to leave him alone until tomorrow.

I think of all the times that I’ve been upset and Anakin had refused to let me go to sleep angry or sad or overwhelmed. “I know, but it’s really not a big deal. It’s not like we don’t know each other. I mean, last Coronation Season you buttoned me into more gowns than my handmaid. And I owe you for saving me from one of the worst suitors I’ve ever had.”

“I’m starting to think we need to develop some kind of signal.”

The tiny bit of lightness that’s returned to his voice makes all of my internal struggle feel worth it. “You always seem to know.”

“That’s because when you’re reaching your limit, that one line appears between your eyebrows.”

I didn’t realize I had such a tell. I try to remember the way that the suitor drawled on and on about how amazing he was and how he couldn’t wait for the day he had a bride to bear his children and plan (tedious) social events. My hand moves to my forehead, trying to feel the crease Anakin mentioned. Can everyone tell when I’m growing tired? Am I that transparent?

Anakin’s slight laugh steals my attention. He’s facing me again, his elbow holding his head up on the foot of my bed. “What are you doing?”

“I don’t--I don’t think i get a crease between my eyebrows when I’m irritated.”

I hear him stand. I don’t realize he’s approaching me until he’s so close I could touch him without even needing. to stretch. “No, when you’re irritated you raise your eyebrows slightly, because that’s when you’re at your most sarcastic.”

“Really?”

The corner of his mouth tugs upwards. “Just like that.” I force myself to keep my expression blank. “When you’re reaching your limit, your eyebrows crease here.” His finger taps the space between my brows so gently I almost don’t realize what he’s doing. “And when you’re trying not to laugh--which is often, because you refuse to admit that I’m funny--you press your lips together in a way that forms a dimple here.” The knuckle of his pointer finger brushes against the bottom of my cheek.

I bite my tongue to fight the warmth spreading across my face. “I didn’t realize i was so transparent.”

“I can’t always tell what you’re thinking.”

“I’ll take it.” Maybe if I was less tired, I’d argue a little more. “You know you’re not that difficult to read either.”

“Really?”

“Yes, I can tell when you’re just being stubborn for the sake of it. I can see it in your eyes and you’re doing it right now.”

His expression harshens slightly before softening. “Y/n--”

“I’m not wrong.”

He sighs once, stepping back. I watch him pace around my bed before taking a seat on the edge of my other side of the bed. “Are you happy now?”

“Happy that I won? Absolutely.”

Anakin halfheartedly glares at me. “Careful, add a crown and a robe that trails down a throne and I’d feel like I was speaking to your father.”

“Careful, another side comment like that and I’ll ‘accidentally’ kick you off the bed in the middle of the night.”

“Not if I kick you off the bed first.”

I trace a thoughtless pattern on the fabric of my bedsheets. “What are you? Twelve?”

“I’m older than you.”

“Barely.” I continue the thoughtless pattern tracing as I fight the sleep from my eyes. “Your comebacks are usually more creative than that.”

He exhales, relaxing slightly as he rests his back against a pillow. “I’m tired, like you claimed to be.” His eyes flutter slightly, a bit of his exhaustion showing. “Go to sleep.”

I should. I’m too old to think I can put off a tomorrow I don’t want by just staying up. This is stupid. I’m too old to think I can put off the anniversary of my mother’s death by going to bed. She had been taken from us on castle grounds, killed by a revolutionist who viewed my mother as a class traitor. I still remember the way she slumped to the ground, her blood staining the snow beneath her. I remember the way the guards were so busy chasing her killer no one thought to keep me away from the body.

“Y/n?”

I scratch the back of my arm in hopes of banishing my thoughts. “Yes?”

“You’re being quiet.”

“You said to go to sleep, that tends to be a quiet thing.”

I can feel his eyes on me. “Since when do you listen to me?” Not trusting myself to actually reply, I only offer him a hum of acknowledgement. “I know you’re not half asleep.”

Folding my hands on my lap, I avoid his gaze. “It’s tomorrow.”

I don’t know why I trust him to understand my vague response, but I do. His silence stretches over us like a thin blanket on a cold night. Maybe he doesn’t understand what I’m implying. I can always correct him tomorrow, when my eyelids are no longer as heavy as my heart. The more seconds that pass in total silence, the more I think that maybe he’s fallen asleep.

I wouldn’t be surprised, Anakin has seemed tired recently, like some additional weight he won’t share with anyone has been thrust onto his shoulders. A small part of me rolls in guilt. I need to be a better friend, just because I’m suddenly a little too aware of him doesn’t mean I can shrug him off and ignore him.

My hand almost flinches away from the feeling of something surprisingly warm touching my pinky. When I realize that it’s just Anakin and that the contact was probably accidental, I force myself to ease. It’s not like we’ve never touched before, I don’t understand why I’m making it weird. Sitting in my bed in the dark doesn’t change anything. His hand turns slightly, pressing into mine a little more assuredly. Biting my tongue, I turn my hand slightly, exposing my palm. And just like that, our fingers intertwine.

“She would have been proud of you.” His voice comes out so low I barely register the words.

The words shouldn’t mean much to me--he never knew my mother and has no way to know what she wanted me to be.--and yet I find comfort in them. I smile, turning my head towards him. “You didn’t even know her.”

He rolls his eyes slightly, relaxing further before squeezing my hand once. “Who wouldn’t be proud of you? You’re kind and smart and decent to be around when you’re not telling me what to do.”

My heart swells in my chest so much I’m surprised it doesn’t burst. Could he be cuter? “Yeah...now I’m sure you’re my favorite person.”

“Now you’re sure?”

The smugness in his voice has me rolling my eyes. “Don’t make me regret saying that.”

“Maybe in the morning,” he says easily, “now go to sleep. There’s nothing worse than escorting you from meeting to meeting while you’re tired.”

“I’m not that bad.” Even in this darkness, I can make out the way he raises an eyebrow. “Shut up--I’m going to sleep, but not because of you.”

He lets out a slight huff. “You’re impossible.”

The desire to respond to his comment is not enough for me to win the fight against the weight of my eyelids. The moment my eyes shut, I feel powerless to anything that isn’t sleep. I let myself fall into a weightless sleep, my only tether being the Anakin’s fingers around mine.

A distant noise yanks me from my sleep. I’m too drowsy to do anything but register the sound. I hear another similar...whine? cry? I can’t tell and I’m too asleep to figure it out. I almost fall asleep again, but a third distressed sound keeps me from it. I wipe my eyes lazily with the back of my hand as I try to sit up.

Squinting, I make out a figure on my bed. It takes me a moment to remember Anakin and how I fell asleep. Our hands are still together and no light is peering through my window so it can’t be that long since I fell asleep. Another disgruntled sound carries itself throughout the room. I shift slightly, leaning over Anakin cautiously.

Golden brown curls are beginning to stick to his forehead and his eyebrows are drawn together sharply. He’s having a nightmare. I shift even further forward before cautiously placing a hand on his shoulder before squeezing him gently.

“Anakin,” I whisper, “it’s not--it’s not real.” His eyebrows draw together even more harshly. I shake him a little more stubbornly. “Anakin, wake up--you’re having a ni--”

My forearm is grabbed so suddenly I barely register it before I feel my back shoved into my mattress. I blink twice. His dark eyes are frantic and the look on his face is far from the gentle, easygoing expression I’m used to. He’s breathing deeply, his chest rising and falling from above me. I swallow a slight panic and something I don’t understand as I try to keep my eyes on his face and my thoughts away from how close he is. Anakin pries his fingers from my forearm one by one until only his palm is touching me.

“Y/n, I--”

“It’s okay.” Honestly, I’m more worried about his uneven breathing than the way he grabbed me. I can’t imagine everything he’s been through or how justified his nightmares are. Anakin moves his hand away from me. I don’t sit up until he’s off of me and sitting with his back against my headboard. “It’s okay--I just--you were having a nightmare and I thought I should wake you.” He doesn’t react. I turn my body further, keeping my back straight. Anakin doesn’t move, and the longer he stays still, the more I feel like I should say something else. “Do you want talk about it? Or do--do you want to talk about something else? Or go to sleep? Or get some water? Or--” The far off look behind his eyes silences me. I scoot forward slightly. “You’re okay, Anakin, I promise.”

His head turns at that, his eyes searching mine for something I don’t understand. “I thought...” He cuts himself off by swallowing once.

I shift a little more, trying to find anything normal in his expression. “Thought what?”

Anakin’s hand is on my arm so quickly I don’t even register his movement. I let his fingers press into my skin. He’s holding onto me like I’m a figment of a dream and he’s beginning to wake up. “I thought I’d failed.” He exhales, the sound heavy. “Failed you and that you’d--I thought I had lost you.”

A lump rises in my throat, thick and unmoving. Cautiously, I place my hand over the one still gripping my shoulder like a lifeline. “You didn’t. Nothing happened, it was just a dream.”

His gaze falls to the ground before he repeats the last of my words. “Just a dream.” There’s a hollowness to his voice I don’t understand.

I exhale, carefully running my thumb over his knuckles. “Yes.” He doesn’t say anything but his expression hardens again. I let us sit there like that for a long minute. “I promise.”

“You can’t promise things like that.”

I sigh, unsure of where to go from here. “Bad dreams are only bad dreams.” He doesn’t reply. “I think you should try to get some more sleep.”

Anakin is unresponsive. I shift back, but before I can transition from almost being on top of him to just sitting next to him, he pulls on my arm to keep in place. “I don’t know what I’d do if something happened to you.”

“Nothing’s going to happen to me.”

“You almost died today, y/n. I was right there and if I had been a second later--”

“But you weren’t.” He doesn’t ease. “You were there and I was fine. Don’t torment yourself over what could have been. You’ll drive yourself crazy.”

“If anything ever happened to y--”

“It’s not going to,” I whisper, ignoring the way his hold on my arm tightens even further, “Especially this time a year when I have a pretty good gau--”

He tilts his head slightly, eyebrows drawing together and a ghost of a smile on his lips. “Pretty good? Really?”

“Someone needs to watch your ego, chosen one.” This time when he tries for a smile, the look has some strength behind it. Relief pools in my stomach. “Now get some sleep, tomorrow’s a busy day and when you’re sleepy you’re beyond irritable.”

Anakin lets me pull away enough to lay down, but he doesn’t follow. Not for a long second. When he does, his movements are impossibly rigid. I watch him out of the corner of my eye as carefully as I can manage.

“Y/n?”

I regret turning my head immediately. I didn’t realize how close he was. It would take no effort from me to make our lips meet. Wait--why am I thinking of that? I’m not allowed to think of stuff like that...especially not about him.

“Yes?”

He lets out a breath before moving his hand. I don’t understand his hesitation until I feel his hand cupping my cheek gently. “What if next time I’m not enough? What if next time I lose you because I’m not strong enough?”

I never thought my death would be such a personal thing to him. Sure, I knew that we had some kind of bond, some kind of friendship, and that my death would bring sadness. But I never imagined I’d matter enough to him that thoughts of my death would be frightening enough to slip into his subconscious and become a thing of nightmares.

“You are enough. Nothing is going to happen to me and if it does it’s not going to be because of you.” Anakin’s lips press together in a way that implies serious uncertainty. His thumb brushes across my cheek so unexpectedly I almost ask him what he’s doing. The intensity behind his eyes is enough to burn me. “Was your dream really that bad?”

He lets out an uncertain breath as his eyebrows draw together. I don’t miss the way his jaw clenches. “It’s more than the dream. I...y/n, princess,” he tacts on, a hint of humor returning to him, “you’re more than a mission to me.”

The admission is so soft I can’t help but smile. “I know, Anakin, we’re--”

“You’re more than a friend to me.” I don’t know if my blood freezes in my veins or if my lungs don’t contract when they should or if my heart literally skips a beat, but I know something in me completely stops at his words. “I--”

“Don’t say it.” I don’t know how I managed to cut him off so sharply and I’m a little disappointed when I do, but it’s the right thing to do. Thought of the code that’s so important to him have clouded half the immense shock and joy swelling in my chest. “What you’re trying to say...I um, I want to say the same.” I try to drop my gaze but he tilts my head up slightly with his hand. “But we shouldn’t, you know that.”

"You want to us to pretend that nothing’s different? You want me to escort you from meetings with one suitor to the next every Coronation Season until you’re married off?”

“No, I’m not saying that. The point is that I’m not saying anything.” His eyebrows draw together in uncertainty. “Isn’t it enough for now, for both of us to just know? If we say it...that could mean bad things for you. And I don’t want to be a bad thing for you.”

“You could never be.”

It’d be so easy to believe him. To believe him and to let him say what I never imagined I’d be able to hear and damn the consequences of tomorrow. “Can we just refrain from verbally saying anything until you’re sure?”

“I’m sure right now. I’ve been sure since the first time we ever walked in the garden together. The night after the first Coronation Ball I escorted you to.”

I remember that night well. The way he hadn’t scolded me for needing air or taking off my uncomfortably high heels to walk in the grass. “If you mean it, you won’t say it yet. I refuse to get in the way of what you’re meant for.”

His thumb runs my cheek entirely, stopping at the corner of my mouth. “Are you capable of not disagreeing with me?”

Rolling my eyes slightly, I place my hand over his. “Probably not.”

Anakin exhales, his playful irritation clear in the sound. “You’re impossible when you’re tired.”

“I am not tired.”

“I can see the sleep in your eyes.”

“I can see it in yours too.”

He pauses, eyebrows drawn together cautiously. “I’ll go to sleep if you do.”

He must be more tired than I thought if he’s compromising with me so quickly. “Deal.”

Neither of us close our eyes for a long second, we just watch each other with wide eyes. It still doesn’t feel like he’s eased, but he’s come back to me so much more than he was earlier. I’ll make sure to check how he’s feeling in the morning. The first morning after we’ve...I don’t know.

I’m trying really hard not to get excited because anything that’s been not said could be taken back so easily. That’s the point--but it’s hard not to let my heart get ahead of my rationality. I’ll just take the good for what it is for now and tomorrow we can figure out the rest. Even though he’s not allowed to form attachments and my father really wants to marry me off to foreign royalty.

Tomorrow. This can begin to be solved tomorrow. My eyes shut and I let myself roll fully onto my back. The second I’m comfortably settled, I feel Anakin shift against the bed. I’m too tired to open my eyes until I feel a weight placed against my chest.

I open my eyes on instinct, less surprised than I should be when I see Anakin’s head resting against my chest. Before I can speak, I feel his arm rest against my side. “Anakin,” I breathe, my hand moving to smooth his hair out of his face the way I’ve wanted to for so long. “What did we just talk about?”

“You said not to say anything,” he mumbles comfortably, “I’m not saying anything.” ...It is kind of the ideal compromise. Especially since I’m too tired to find reason and he feels so warm. “I can feel you overthinking. Go back to smoothing my hair before I have to rise and stand at your door so that your handmaid comes to wake you. Something tells me she’d be glad for the excuse to get rid of me.”

That might be the most dramatic thing I’ve ever heard him say. Selma is the most patient woman in the palace. “Selma would never report anything involving me, I can’t believe you don’t like her. She’s the sweetest woman I’ve ever met.”

“She’s the one that doesn’t like me,” he says, “she always watches me like she’s trying to figure out if I’m planning on stealing you away.”

Too tired to fight my smile, I go back to smoothing his hair out with my fingers. After a moment, he lets out an exhale that relaxes his entire body. “Goodnight, princess.”

“Goodnight.” The word is barely a mumble as I feel sleep tug against me for the second time tonight.

It’s strange, but my excitement doesn’t diminish my tiredness, it just makes the prospect of rest feel so much fuller. Safer. Because there’s so much to sort out and grieve but it’s okay, because we have the time and everything feels okay because Anakin is here, right beneath my fingertips.

#anakin skywalker #anakin #anakin skywalker x reader #anakin x reader #anakin x you #anakin skywalker imagine #anakin skywalker x you #anakin skywalker x y/n #star wars #star wars x reader #star wars imagine #star wars imagines #star wars fic

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