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#no offense to u if u use those i think ur great when ur on my team lmao
townslore · 2 years
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dont put them on a team ever
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bigmack2go · 2 months
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Since i made tjis tag i thought i might as well add onto it already so uh yeah… again: feel free to use this to explain the internet to ur parents
Emoji guide!!
💀: is like a way to laugh. Specially like a „bruh“ or „no she/he/they/you did not“, „i cant believe he/she/they/you did this“ or „there is no way they/you/she/he did this!“. Do not use this if someone died please!
😭: also a laugh. Dont ask. People use it differently but many people use it specifically when they are jokingly complaining or whining about something. Also when something is unbelievable and/or like a wheezing „what?!“ or „seriously?!“
🥺: we usually mock ppl w this saying they’re pick me (fishing for compliments)
🤠: i hate my life right now
😃😀: those are like a frozen smile and show that u highly dislike smt
🙂: im about to strangle someone and beat the shit out of them. When you need to take a deeo breath to keep cool
🙃: either mocking pedoph!les lt trying to creep someone out or saying that someone is creepy
😆: hAHa YoUrE So FuNnY (hint: youre not funny)
😁: ironically saying „look what I’ve accomplished“
🥹: is the version of „🥺“ that we actually use
🥲: can be „beautiful“ *wipes tear from eye* or like the office glance at the camera.
😇: i do not in fact have very good intentions
☺️: im gonna kill u. Kind of a „you did what now?!“ when u try to keep calm
😊: im so not okay right now and i hate my life or being proud in a bragging way
😉: make fun of pedoph!les
😌: uh-huh thats right. Im great (and u suck). OR „good girl“ yk?? Or being proud
😗: also a frozen smile kinda thing
😋: hehe mischievous
😝: mocking old ppl
🤪: ironic way of mocking pick me girls (aka girls that are fishing for compliments)
🤨: „thats what she said…“
🧐: „do you realise what youre saying??“
🤓: making a mocking voice
😎: mikedrop
🥸: are you aware that u sound like an idiot rn
🤩: IM GONNA BE A DOCTOR OR LAWYER OR SMT (i didn’t fail my maths exam for once)
😣😖: u gonna cry?/ go cry about it
😫: our generation is weird and has to make everything moaning. Sry but this is moaning.
😩: „OH COME ON!“
🤯: are you telling me you didn’t know this yet?
🥵: moking hot situations or saying „that was close“
🥶: „YOU GOT ROASTED“
😶‍🌫️: wasn me
😱: are you telling me u didn’t know this?
🤗: im so happy for u (i hate you and i don’t think u deserve shit and it’s not fair that i have smt i want. Fuck u)
🤭: you think im frightened of u?
🤔: ironic way to say „i wonder why“
🤫: i did smt haha
🤥: i did smt not-so-haha
🫠: „that was so embarrassing“ discompfot or blush or a way of showing a crush. Some people use it as that thing where j get rly angry and try to cover it up and then your eye starts twitching
🤥: haha wasn me (it totally was me and we all know it)
🫥: no ones laughing
😐😑: i cant w u
🫨: more ironic version of „🥶“
🤤: i want that
🙄😴: waiting
😮‍💨: why r u such an idiot? And why did god choose me to handle it?
😵- oh— (swallowing a laugh)
🥴: w h a t
🤢: exxeragating way to make fun of ppl
🤑: gimme gimme
🤡: u/i sound like an idiot. Also way to mock creeps
👹👺: when u make your voice all bellowish and/or come of creepy and weord
👽: he/she/they sounds like an idiot. Are they dumb? Or „girl—?“
👾: stop talking. Ur annoying and also no ones buying ur shit
✌️: often used ironically
🤌🏼: *cheffkiss*
🫰🏼🤏🏻: teeny weeny
🫴🏻: y tho
☝🏼: mhm (pretending to be an authority figure, usually in a lightly mocking way)
🖐️: oft used in combo w „😭“ to say „can i live??“
👁️👄👁️: heh
✍️: noted OR im writing u in my death note
🦶: stfu or what ur saying makes no sense
🫦: mockingly sexual
👣: ur onto smt
👀: „woOHP“ *swallows a laugh*, he said what?, offensive sideeye, looking forward to smt OR i may or me not be plning smt (im absolutely planning smt) aka what i says has double meaning
🗣️: no one wants to hear your bullshit
👼: opposite as 😇
💆: this isnt a massage. This is me desperatly holding my demples and taking deep breaths so i dont kill anyone
💅: fab. Its also kind of slang/ hidden way to say „gay“ and do the handflick thingy. At least it used to be idk
🧑‍🦯: ur not making any sense
🧍‍♀️: someone spunds like an idiot or idk what to do w myself/ this sotuation
🕴️: you are about to break into dancing
🕺💃: vibing w music
🎩/🎓: used to be like „ha look how smart i am because of tjis one thing i got right“ in a nonserious way but no one rly uses it anymore
💍: marry me (obv) but like in an easy way. You had a good idea and im flashed by it so im exerragating your genious so much i want to marry u. Thats just an example obv
👑: u dropped this
🦄: delulu
✨: to make a word fancy like precenting a banner u put one of these at the beginning and end of the word/phrase/sentence. This can br sarcastic or serious. In quarantine many people used this as general quote unquote marks
🌚🌝: hehe
🔥: pften used by bro-pal-guy-jocks to push a post by comenting
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swiftfootedachilles · 2 months
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people are so weird how are u gonna bash a well meaning person and then refuse?? to tell them?? WHY you’re bashing them?? if ur post was offensive then explain why jesus christ this is not how u have healthy useful dialogue with people, it’s just piling unnecessary hate and cruelty on someone. i’m really sorry you’re being treated so shittily by this fandom, i love your posts.
hey thank you so much for this. the handful of people ive talked to have been very understanding of my side and agree that it seems like this person already didn't like me and was looking for a way to renounce me+my posts
truly, i don't know why she feels my posts are offensive. i hate the idea that a jewish person feels i was antisemitic and fetishizing jewish culture. i researched antisemitic fetishization tropes in opera during my undergrad program. ive always tried my hardest to understand minority communities that i am not a part of, without overstepping and seeming like a white knight/savior. i have always been guided through life by my ethics and a burning need for social justice. i want to fix this!
i was really pissed off yesterday and used more aggressive language in my posts and replies. today my head is clearer but im just as confused. i never expect minorities to do the emotional labor of researching topics for me and handing everything over on a silver platter. i will gladly educate myself, but i cant do that when i don't know what i did wrong. this isn't a situation where i did something clearly wrong and there's an obvious gap in my understanding - ive asked multiple friends where they feel i went wrong, and all of them have said they aren't sure
one very kind person messaged me about how, from an outsiders perspective, they were reminded of other situations where autistic people have their words or actions purposefully misinterpreted, and that seriously opened my eyes. OBVIOUSLY im not saying this person is accusing me of antisemitism because she hates autistic people. but i have often experienced people purposefully misrepresenting me and getting mad without explanation. everything starts out good, great even, and i build a script with which to interact with others. but eventually, you get very comfortable and stop following a script, start to unmask a little. and suddenly all hell breaks loose.
you're not acting right. you said the wrong thing. who would say something like that? so inappropriate. and when you ask for clarification because you genuinely do not know what you did wrong, all you receive are eyerolls and more hate because you should already know this, im not gonna spoonfeed everything to you. you're an adult figure it out yourself.
like i said, i don't think she's, like, hating on me for being autistic. i think ive gained a certain reputation (of what i don't know) in the shameless fandom, and people are projecting their preexisting judgement into me. this means that they don't actually want me to apologize. they don't care. they think i am already not a good person and just want to point that out to me to shame me into saying sorry because they think it'll knock me down a few pegs. whatever. my real offline life is much worse than getting mildly ganged up on on the internet. ill survive. i still want to finish my mickey embroidery and my edits/webweavings and my fics. maybe i will, maybe i won't. like ive mentioned many times before, i have pretty bad rejection sensitive dysphoria and i need to be reassured i will get feedback on my works before i ever post them. my fics were already being ignored by most of the big fandom writers - i think those will just have to be scrapped because i genuinely cannot take hollowing out my chest and putting it to paper only to get a few nice comments/kudos. the embroidery though, that's for me. i definitely wanna do it. the other original posts like webweavings, idk maybe i really don't know
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ptergwen · 3 years
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Hey! I was wondering if you could do a fluffy type thing based on the gif of ur navigation page. Ya know the scene in the movie where he can see whos doing what on their phones? and maybe the reader is like talking about their crush on him? i think tht woukd be a rly cool concept. but you dont have to do it if you dont want to :)
this is really cute omg i never would’ve thought of it either :,)
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i couldn’t find the gif in question but close enough
“i have access to the entire stark global security network, including multiple defense satellites,” edith tells peter as he looks around the bus through his glasses. “as well as back doors to all major telecommunication networks,” she adds on. peter’s eyes go wider, images of his classmates’ and teachers’ phones popping up.
“woah,” he mumbles to himself. he can see people’s texts, google searches, everything. peter can’t help but be curious about what you’re up to. you’re sitting alone and kind of hunched over in your seat, so he assumes your phone is out. that gives him an idea.
“um, edith?” peter asks for his new... friend. she responds almost immediately. “yes, peter?” “what’s y/n doing?” your picture, name, and a view of your screen show up in his glasses. “i can’t believe that worked” he mutters and glances over at you again in person. you sit a few rows ahead of him.
he’d wanted to sit with you for the ride, but dimitri wouldn’t let him. something about blowing his cover.
peter focuses in on your screen again. you’re texting mj, in long paragraphs, and her messages back are just as lengthy. it seems like it’s a pretty personal conversation. maybe he shouldn’t be snooping on you. “edith, could you-“ his heart beats a little faster when he sees his name come up. he’s technically not snooping if it’s about him.
“yes, peter?” edith prompts him. “never mind,” he dismisses her, wanting to find out why he was mentioned. he sneaks a quick peek at mj to make sure she hasn’t caught on. she has a habit of always being in his business. she’s across the bus with brad next to her, so she hasn’t picked up on the fact that peter is watching you two.
chewing on your bottom lip, you type out your next message. peter jumps in his seat as it flashes across the screen.
you
i really like him and i thought he liked me too but he’s been kind of like... idk avoiding me the whole trip?
“i’m not avoiding her!” peter whisper yells, biting the inside of his cheek while he waits for mj to reply. it then hits him what you said in the first part. you like him. not just like him, really like him. he could pass out right now and call this a dream. he’s been crushing on you for a while, but he was too scared to say something. this is definitely a confidence booster.
mj
wdym avoiding you? he’s been ditching the whole class y/n/n. kinda sus if u ask me
you
stopppp 😭 maybe he has something going on bc he’s been weird since before we left
mj
uh he’s been weird his whole life
peter purses his lips at that, eyebrows furrowed in offense. he can’t believe nick fury is ruining his love life. or, the potential of him having a love life. you could’ve been cuddled up next to him and listening to music together right now. he’d made a playlist for the trip of both your favorite songs, that specific reason being why.
but, no. nothing that isn’t superhero related can ever go peter’s way. he’s had enough of fury and his team controlling him.
you
i don’t wanna get dramatic or whatever but should i just give up? if peter is busy i don’t wanna overwhelm him
“thanks, edith. you can stop showing me now,” peter decides, getting up from his seat before he loses his nerve to. he makes his way through the aisle and over to you. “i said all kids stay seated!” dimitri scolds him with a stern look through the front mirror. he doesn’t actually care if people get up, he just wants to keep peter away from everyone else. good thing he’s the one driving so he can’t do anything about it.
“sorry!” peter calls back, making you look up from your phone. giving him a lopsided smile, you quickly shut it off. you didn’t expect him to be the rule breaker getting yelled at. “hey,” you greet him. “hey. can i sit with you?” peter smiles back, without the nervousness. he already knows your feelings are mutual.
you scoot closer to the window so there’s more room. “yeah, always.” “thanks,” he breathes out a laugh and takes his seat. “i like your glasses. when did you get those?” you compliment, loving the way the blue frames sit on his face. peter squints at you. “glasses? what glasses- oh.” he’d forgotten to take them off before coming over. great, now he needs an excuse.
“they... they, um, at this store in venice...” that’s all he can come up with. you’re guessing the glasses have something to do with his stress lately, and you’re not far off. you let him leave it at that. “well, they look really good on you. really really good,” you laugh and get a laugh of relief out of peter as well. “thank you, y/n/n.” “you’re welcome.” you’re grinning for real now, and being the cause of it makes peter so happy.
he’s ready to shoot his shot.
“do you wanna, um, listen to music with me?” peter asks softly over the loud rumbling of the bus. “i made a playlist... for us.” for us. him coming over here, thinking of you like that, the doubts you were having earlier are starting to fade away. you nod, a giggle slipping out of you. “yeah, we can share my earbuds. thanks, peter.”
you unzip your backpack and grab them, peter biting back another grin. this is working out exactly how he wanted it to. you hold out an earbud to him and put yours in. peter does the same, adjusting his while both of you move in so the wire doesn’t stretch. yup, that’s why. definitely not so you two can be closer.
“can i plug these in?” peter asks, taking the connecting end of the wire. “mhm,” you hum and watch him put it into his phone. he opens up spotify and goes to his playlist, titled with a smiley face and every pink heart emoji. that brings yet another smile to your face. “aw, that’s cute,” you comment, taking a leap of faith and resting your head on peter’s shoulder.
peter hits shuffle and makes a move of his own by resting his head on yours. he lowers the music a bit so he can say something to you, confess to you what he finally has the courage to you. “hey, y/n?” he mumbles, waiting for you to look at him. you already were. “i like you.” you settle into peter even more and let out a content sigh. “i like you, too.”
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ootahime · 3 years
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what is utahime’s role in the future? — a prediction (manga spoilers)
part 1 (unedited)
I WAS ABOUT TO POST IT BUT I ACCIDENTALLY DELETED IT AND I WAS SO HURT FR!!!!! I HAD REWRITE THIS ENTIRE THING </33
part 2 is here!
in this post, i will be analyzing the information we’ve been given about utahime so far to form a prediction about her future role in the jujutsu kaisen series. if you’re as interested in utahime’s character as i am, please feel free to keep reading :3 (i’ll also be talking about her relationship with gojo a bit too)
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soukatsu_ on twt!
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kaikaikitan on twt!
utahime iori is a semi-grade 1 sorcerer working as a student supervisor/teacher at kyoto jujutsu high school. she loves drinking beer and going to karaoke. she’s also close friends with shoko and she’s not particularly fond of gojo most of the time. what else do we know about her?
hates sweets (funny she’s the complete opposite of gojo)
she’s great at singing and it’s a huge part of her technique
squabbling with gojo became a reflex :3
everyone absolutely adores utahime
loves watching soccer and baseball
a terrible drunk (worse than naobito zenin)
gojo is her main source of stress
let’s dive into her personality and abilities!
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chapter 65
before i get into it, i think it’d be best if i were to explain the timeline because a lot of people seem to be confused about this one particular thing. utahime is born on february 18th, 1987. contrary to popular belief, she is not 3 years older than gojo. it is november 2018 in the story because gojo was sealed on halloween. if gojo was born on december 7th, 1989, that would mean that right now, he is only 28 years old. he has yet to turn 29.
the year is 2007. gojo satoru is a second year at tokyo jujutsu high school. the japanese school year begins in april which suggests that gojo is only 17 at the time (even if it’s not april, it doesn’t look like winter yet so it’s unlikely that he’s already 18). utahime is 20 because it is past february. she is a 2nd grade sorcerer at the age of 20. that’s not bad at all!
chapter 65 introduces young utahime and mei on a mission together within a cursed site. in real time, they’ve been gone for two days which is a cause of concern for gojo, shoko, and geto because the two haven’t contacted anyone since the beginning of their mission.  the two begin to suspect something is wrong because the hallway markers they’ve set in place disappeared, and no matter how far they travel within the halls, the end is nowhere in sight.  mei theorizes that the cursed spirit is overlapping the space as they travel forward.  utahime agrees with this speculation and proposes a plan to escape the cursed spirit’s grasp by moving erratically.  notice how she says that if one of them should escape, they can try to attack from the outside or call for help.  if utahime was not capable of inflicting damage on anything then she would have told mei to escape and attack if she can while she waited to be rescued.  however, she didn’t.  she included herself in the sentence which leads me to believe that she is capable of going on the offense if needed.  
keep in mind that at this point in time, mei is a grade 1 sorcerer.  she is knowledgeable about all things involving jujutsu because she is experienced and skillful.  we can see this aspect of her character illustrated when she theorizes that the cursed spirit is messing with the space they’re in.  she chooses to go with utahime’s plan because she agrees that it’s the best action moving forward.  this verifies that utahime is an intelligent girl that’s able to get along with pretty much anyone.  
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her intellect is demonstrated once again in chapter 79.  she was able to deduce the possibility of there being more than one traitor and the fact that one is probably a higher up.  she also narrowed down the mechamaru as the mole of kyoto not because he was acting suspicious but by process of elimination.  she thought thoroughly of his technique and how easy it would be for him to manipulate devices small enough to be undetectable.  
sure you can argue that she should already know all her students’ abilities and whatnot but you have to admit that it’s hard trying to sniff out the traitor when no one is acting suspicious.  in addition to that, how did she know that there was a traitor in the top brass?  i would have never guessed that tbh LOL (maybe bc im an idiot).
okay, now that we have established that she’s intelligent, let’s answer a more important question.  is utahime weak?
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chapter 33
if gojo calls utahime weak, does that mean there is some truth to it?  well it is true that she is weaker than him because he’s the strongest and all.  in my opinion, he’s just teasing her.  he probably found that calling her weak is what really riles her up.  maybe i’ll talk about why he loves teasing her so much in a later post.  but anyway, gojo calls everybody and their mom weak.  he even said jogo was weak and we know how powerful that guy is.  gojo’s words alone do not indicate much about utahime’s power.  in fact, i don’t even think he has seen her use her technique yet.  he’s probably only ever heard of how it works.  this is what i think their conversation about her technique was like:
gojo: hm?  ur cursed technique is singing?  can u show me?
utahime: what!  no way!  
gojo: why not?
*one of the classmates tells him that she can only use her CT once in a while because it consumes a lot of energy*
gojo: hahaha!  u have to conserve cursed energy to use ur CT?  why are u so weak, utahime?
utahime: i!  am!  your!  senpai!  respect!  me!
what i’m trying to say is that gojo loves poking fun of people.  we should not believe him when he calls someone weak because compared to him, everyone is weak.  
this is a little off topic but let’s examine him telling her, “and you don’t have the nerves, utahime.”  i think he’s trying to say that there’s no way she’ll ever do something like that because she’s not the type to put her students in danger.  remember the soft expression and relieved smile on her lips when she said that she was glad the students were safe after the kyoto incident?  gojo was directly in front of her so not only did he hear her say that, but he could have seen the look on her face too.  even if he told her that she didn’t have the guts to betray the school to get on her nerves, he knew that utahime simply cared too much about the students so he ruled her out as a suspect right away.  this is why he ultimately decided to confide in her and ask her to help him.  
i’m a person who loves over-analyzing things.  i really enjoy the dynamic between gojo and utahime.  they’ve known each other for more than 11 years and although they always bicker, there is an unspoken feeling of trust between the two.  gojo can do anything and everything by himself because he is truly the strongest person alive, but he still knows when to rely on others.  him deciding to entrust utahime with such a job implies that he believes in utahime’s abilities.
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chapter 52
she’s not using any cursed energy here--not to our knowledge at least.  this is just pure skill.  she was able to swiftly evade the swing from haruta.  he was surprised himself considering the fact that he was right behind her.  how do we know her CT isn’t speed?  after haruta swung at her, we can see that some of her hair got cut off.  if she was using her CT then speed should be her specialty.  she should have been able to completely avoid the attack altogether but she didn’t.  of course this isn’t a wow moment because jujutsu sorcerers should know how to dodge attacks, however, i’m just trying to get the point across that she’s not a defenseless person without her technique or others.  let’s not forget that semi-grade 1 isn’t a weak rank either.  you can’t simply be recommended to be a grade 1 sorcerer if you only can support others.  
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chapter 48
i want to bring up this panel. it suggests that utahime and takuma are sorcerers who have not experienced black flash and therefore, do not understand the essence of cursed energy as well as those who have like gojo and nanami.  i find it strange how takuma and utahime were used to represent sorcerers who haven’t experienced it yet.  is the purpose to demonstrate that there is a clear difference in skill between adult sorcerers like utahime and takuma compared to gojo and nanami?  i could be nitpicking but the order of todo’s statement doesn’t line up with the sorcerers being shown.  let me explain in depth.  todo starts off by saying, “for those who have experienced black flash as compared to those who have not...” wouldn’t it make more sense to show gojo and nanami on the right side to represent sorcerers who have experienced black flash?  that was mentioned first, after all.  gojo and nanami should appear when todo says “for those who have experience black flash” while utahime and takuma should be shown right after to personify the second part, “as compared to those who have not.”  i’m just making it more complicated than it actually is LOLOL i’m sure it really just means they haven’t experienced black flash yet, which is completely fine.  i also find it fascinating how they used utahime to contrast gojo.  with nanami and takuma it makes sense.  nanami is someone takuma looks up to, he wants to gain nanami’s approval before he deems himself worthy of a promotion. what about utahime and gojo?  what’s the purpose of comparing those two together when it’s obvious that gojo knows more about the essence of cursed energy more than anyone else?  i might be delusional whoops
----
let me know what you guys think?  this is only a part 1 so i haven’t gotten around to answering the question.  i’m pretty much done with the second part, i just need to revise it a little.  i think after i post part 2, i’ll try to interpret all the gojo and utahime moments in the manga >.<
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baseballbitch116 · 3 years
Text
Dixons Next Door - Chapter 4
Introduction: Anna was a small town girl from Atlanta when she became the guardian of her two younger siblings. She was determined to keep them from the same abuse that she endured from her family, so she moved into a small beaten up house just outside the city in 2009. The new neighbors  next door - the Dixon brothers - were definitely trouble. She wanted to escape her past, not repeat her parents history with these redneck brothers. Matters only escalate when the news is talking about the possibility of some virus getting out and infecting people… Are Merle and Daryl just as bad as her past? How is she going to keep her brother and sister safe from this virus getting out? What did Anna get herself into?
Setting: Pre-apocalypse
Word Count: 6896
Series Warnings: Offensive language, mentions/suggestion of physical abuse, alcohol abuse, drug abuse, sexual themes, violence & death
Chapter Warnings: Alcohol consumption, drug use, offensive language, assault, violence, sensitive themes - potential trigger warning
A/N: I got a little carried away and made this an extra long chapter, but it’s a good one! There are some sensitive topics in it so this is a trigger warning - it’s nothing too bad but some people may not want to read it. 18+ You’ve been warned.
Previous Chapter
Masterlist | Fandoms | Submit A Request
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I had been cleaning out the pool for the kids while they ate lunch the next time that I was interrupted by Merle. He came over with a beer and hand and stood nearby me, watching silently. I gave him a look but he made no comment, he just sipped on his beer. I sighed and continued skimming the bugs and leaves out of the pool. “Isn’t it a little early to be drinking?” I ask without looking back at him. He chuckles.
“Why ya cleanin it? Just gonna get dirty again?” He asks, ignoring your question. You roll your eyes and smack the skimmer on the ground to get the debris off of it.
“Why shower - just gonna get dirty again.” I remark sarcastically.
“Exactly.” Merle agrees, and I look up in momentary shock before catching the sarcastic smirk on his face. “Ew,” I mutter, tossing the skimmer to the side and throwing the chlorine in the pool.
“So what bar ya work at?” He asks, glancing into the pool for a moment before looking back at you. You want to lie, but there’s literally only two bars in this small town, so it’s not like it matters much.
“Happy Hour Tavern.” I respond, wiping my hands off on my shorts and crossing my arms. “Surprised I haven’t seen ya there yet.” Referring to the beer in his hand at two in the afternoon.
He smirks. “Ya wanna see me there?” He suggests, and I roll my eyes.
“Didn’t say that.”
“Don’t ya worry, sugar. I’ll stop by.” He assures me, and I know he probably will.
“Great,” I mutter, and he chuckles.
“Where ya kids at?” He asks.
“Inside eating.”
“Wanna make me somethin to eat, sugarlips?” He asks flirtatiously. I roll my eyes again and huff.
“My name is Anna, and no, I don’t really have the money to be feeding the neighborhood.” I respond.
“Ain’t the neighborhood, doll. Just a friend.” He winks.
“Oh, so we’re friends?” I ask, shifting my weight.
“Yeah sure. Ya seem to be cozying up to my brother and all, ‘course we’re friends.” He responds sarcastically. The grin is gone from his face and he seems more serious now.
“What?” I ask, baffled by what he means by ‘cozying up to his brother.’
“Don’t play dumb, sweetheart. I saw ya the other day. Got him doing shit for ya, too. Impressive.” He rolls his eyes and takes a large gulp of his beer. Suddenly, the mood shifts, and I feel uncomfortable. Is he angry at me for asking Daryl for help? He is so hard to read, everything was just fine - what happened?
“I needed help lifting a heavy ass box. He was there. Doesn’t mean I’m ‘cozying up to anyone.’” I respond sternly. I don’t like being accused of using people. Merle chuckles.
“Relax, darlin, I ain’t jealous.” He taunts, lifting a hand to shield his eyes and looking up at the sky. “Issa good huntin day, bet he’s goin out there soon. I’ll see ya around, sugarlips.” Merle says as he begins walking away from me, leaving me confused and startled. What the hell just happened?
I began getting texts from my father that same day. I wasn’t entirely surprised, but I knew he wouldn’t go to the cops.
1:04 - Bring back my fuckin kids
1:15 - U ungrateful bitch after all i done 4 u
2:06 - Ima have every1 lookin 4 u
2:10 - U best not let me find u
3:34 - Ima tell the pigs u kidnapped em
4:08 - Just wait til i find u
My brother even texted me a few times, too.
12:30 - Pa’s lookin 4 u. He’s mad
1:10 - U took them? Ur not they momma, u kidnapped em
2:30 - U best bring em back or u’ll regret it Anna
The texts continued on and off throughout the day but I ignored them. My prejudice, abusive family would not get the best of me. He was probably drunk and went to find us to pick a fight and finally noticed we were gone. I couldn’t help but worry about if he ever did manage to find us. We were only a half hour away, it wouldn’t be too hard. It was only a matter of how much he was determined to do so. He’s not a smart man, I doubt he could track us down very easily. Plus, everyone who knew him, hated him. No one who knew us would help him - they would know the kids were safer with me. I’d rather be poor than abused.
Eventually I left my phone on silent and tried to keep my thoughts occupied. I didn’t tell the kids, of course. The kids had been playing in their room for most of the day, having fun with the large box that my bed frame had come in, using it as some sort of rocket or something. So I let them be inside and sat on the front steps to think in peace. I looked up at the sky and willed myself not to cry. They did not deserve my tears. They didn’t even deserve a moment’s thought. I forced myself not to think about all that they had put me through in my childhood. The nights I spent crying myself to sleep on my mattress on the floor. The bruises and scars I hid at school. The lies I told to keep myself from being taken away - only so I could protect my siblings.
My eyes burned as I fought back the tears and I hid my face in my hands on my lap.
“C’mon, Anna. It’s over now.” I mutter to myself, trying to believe my own words. Anger boiled over inside of me at the thought of what my father might do if he found us and took the kids back. I would not let him. Even if it killed me - he would not ruin their lives like he did mine.
A crash of thunder made me jump, bringing me back to the present. I looked up just in time to see Merle approaching from the woods, resheathing a knife on his hip. I figured he was hunting, and that gave me an idea.
“Hey, Merle!” I call out, quickly wiping my face and jumping up to head over to him. He looks pleasantly surprised and stopped in his tracks, smirking as I approached him. “I have a question.”
“Whatcha want, sugar?” He drawls, wiping his hand on a rag from his pocket. I notice a bit of blood and then the bag over his shoulder, making me wince. I didn’t wanna know.
“I wanna get a gun. But I don’t know the first thing about them, and I kinda hoped you did?” I inform him, glancing behind me to make sure the kids hadn’t come out. He chuckles quietly and looks me up and down.
“Whatcha want with a gun?” He asks. I resist getting defensive, sure that he thinks a woman can’t handle one.
“To protect myself. Family problems, let’s leave it at that.” I inform him with a look. “Do you think you could help me?” I plead. I didn’t wanna go into town and get scammed into buying a crappy, overpriced gun. Merle looks at me for a long moment, looking up at the darkening sky before shrugging.
“Come with me.” He responds, nodding toward his house. I look at it then back to him, giving him a sharp look. “I’m serious, ya want me help or not?” He demands. I look back toward my house for a moment before sighing.
“I can’t be long.” I tell him, and he smirks, heading toward his porch. I hesitantly follow behind him, dreading entering his place. Considering the trash and overgrown grass outside, I had a feeling the inside was much worse. I stepped inside the house cautiously, keeping my eye on Merle as I did so. He seemed to be the only one here, which relieved me. If any of those men from the other night were, I would have left. Merle tosses the bag from his shoulder onto an old wooden table and heads down the hall toward a bedroom, leaving me alone. The floor is dirty, there’s an old, stained armed chair in front of a box TV, and there’s stuff scattered everywhere. The place smells a little weird too, but I resist complaining. Merle returns a moment later with a case in hand. “Here,” Merle opens the case and reveals a gun, holding it out to me. It’s a handgun, I know that much. I look up at him and he gives me an impatient look, so I hesitantly grab the gun. It’s heavier than it looks, and I make sure to keep my finger off the trigger. “Ya ever shot one?” He asks, smirking at me.
“Once or twice.” I mumble, having flashbacks to the one time my father tried teaching me how to shoot bottles in the backyard. It wasn’t a fond memory at all…
“Ya can have it, but it’ll cost ya.” He winks.
“How much?” I ask, and he chuckles.
“Ion want ya money,” He drawls, and I immediately frown, thinking I know what he is implying.
“I’m not doing that either,” I scowl, going to hand the gun back to him. He doesn’t take it, chuckling some more.
“Whatcha want a gun for anyway?” He asks. I didn’t want to get into it, but maybe this would be a way around having to do something for him for it. I let out a sigh and looked at the weapon in my hand for a long moment.
“My father,” I start, not meeting his eye. “He’s uh, well he’s a piece of shit basically. I took the kids from him in the middle of the night and got this place, never told anyone where we were going. If he comes around… Well, I’m gonna need this.” I finally look up and meet his eye, exhaling deeply. He looks at me for a long moment, his face expressionless. It’s quiet and I am surprised he doesn’t make any rude or sarcastic comments. He shrugs, placing the case down on the old table.
“Keep it.” He tells me, and I raise my brows at him.
“Really?” I clarify, confused why he changed his mind.
“Ya need it more than I do. Got plenty round here.” He mutters, waving his arm up in no general direction. “I know all about piece of shit fathers.” He continues, giving me a solemn look. “My pops was. You was right, yer gonna need that. So take it, before I change my mind.” He drawls, heading over to their fridge and grabbing a bottle of beer, kicking it shut behind him. I don’t argue, despite being shocked and confused.
“Thank you, Merle.” I give him a sincere smile for the first time, and turn the gun over in my hands to ensure the safety is on.
“Takes 9MM. It’s loaded.” He informs me, plopping into the beaten up chair by the TV and opening his beer, taking a large gulp. I nod slowly and shift my weight, feeling awkward holding the gun but trying not to let him know.
“Okay,” I respond, turning to head out the door as he turns the TV on. “Thanks again.” I holler before I head out the door into the humid air. The sky has gotten very dark with storm clouds and the wind picked up, so I jog across the lawn back to my house and tuck the gun into the back of my shorts, hiding it under my shirt before I walk inside. I don’t need the kids seeing this.
“Anna! Look what we did!” Colton calls out from the hallway with a big grin on his face. I smile back at him and walk down the hall to their room, letting out a dramatic gasp when I see the box colored on with a bunch of random colors. “It’s our rocket!” He exclaims excitedly, rejoining his sister inside the big box.
“Wow! It looks so good guys!” I exclaim, grinning as they go back to their playing. I watch them for a moment before remembering the gun and walking into my own room, placing the gun on the top shelf in the closet. This will have to do until I have more furniture and somewhere safe to keep it.
The texts kept coming throughout the rest of the night.
6:05 - ware tf r my kids
6:43 - dont make me hunt u down girl
7:16 - uv always been a cunt this is just like u
8:11 - wat r u gonna do when u get nocked up by some prick u dont have money 4 all dem kids
The string of insults and threats lasted most of the night, the only reason I kept looking at them was to make sure that they hadn’t found us somehow, or had any ideas. I would need a head start if they did. I’m not sure if I would be able to shoot my brother, but I know I could shoot my dad. He deserved it. After all he did to me, all he put us through. Even my dead beat mother didn’t deserve him. He was half the reason she’s as bad as she is. Apparently, my mother hadn’t started using drugs until after I was born. My father had escalated when he had his first daughter, and his true colors began to shine through. My mom used in order to live with herself, the guilt, his abuse. She even made sure to get clean each time she learned she was pregnant, but she always relapsed. She was a strong woman - I had to give her that. If nothing else, she was strong. But still a horrible mother. She should have taken us with her when she left.
But now it was my responsibility. I had to do what she couldn’t. I couldn’t help but think about my parents, my horrible family - as I stood in the doorway, watching them sleep. I may not be able to change what happened to me, but I would do anything it took to prevent it from happening to Bailey and Colton. If it comes down to it, I will kill my own father to ensure he never lays another hand on them.
Watching them sleep peacefully, side by side in their own brand new bed with clean sheets and a safe roof over their head - that made it all worth it.
Jessie and Beau came over at nine with beers and I set up a fire in the front yard. I had found this old firepit someone was throwing away on the side of the road the other night and I took it of course. I was excited for some relaxing adult time before my shift tonight. I hated my job, but I made good money there so far.
“What time you work tonight?” Jessie asks as she pops open a bottle of beer and hands it to me with a grin on her face.
“Eleven to three. At least it’ll go by fast.” I respond, taking a gulp. The alcohol burns as it goes down my throat and I let out a sigh, leaning back into the stairs. I hadn’t gotten around to getting chairs for the yard yet - an unnecessary expense I couldn’t afford just yet. Jessie sat beside me, a lemonade in hand instead of beer, given that she was pregnant, and Beau sat on the hood of his truck, rolling a joint. I always enjoyed nights like this - quiet, relaxing, worry free. Jessie had been the best friend I’d ever had, I’m glad we’re still so close.
“That man ever come back?” She asks, referring to a customer from a few nights ago. He had gotten too drunk and handsy, trying to get me to give him my number. He even waited until the bar closed for me and the manager had to call the cops to get him to leave so I could go home. That was the latest reason I hated my job that I’d only had for a few weeks.
“No. Hopefully he never comes back, I don’t wanna have to use what Merle gave me earlier on him.” I mutter, glancing behind me to make sure the kids hadn’t woken up.
“The neighbor?” Beau asks. I nod.
“What did he give you? Are yous like, talking now?” Jessie asks, leaning on her knees and giving me a worried look.
“No, it’s nothing like that. I wanted to look into getting… a gun, for protection. From Dad.” I explain in a quieter tone. “I figured someone like him would know a place, and he actually ended up giving me a handgun.” I continue, watching Jessie’s disapproving look and wide eyes. “I’ll be safe. I really need it. If Dad finds out where we are…” I trail off, taking a large sip of my beer and letting a huff out.
“Why’d he just give you a gun for free?” Beau asks, looking up from where he was rolling the joint on the hood.
“I dunno. At first he said it was gonna cost me, but then when I mentioned it was because of Dad, he let me just have it. Said he knew all about asshole fathers.” I shrugged. “Either way, works for me.”
“Just don’t let him use that against you. Who knows what he might try to pull, he reminds me of Mack.” Jessie rolls her eyes when she mentions my older brother, grimacing. She hates me as much as I do. He had tried to get with her a million times and it made him resentful, yelling and cursing at her. Which then resulted in Beau beating the shit out of him - which was a sight for sore eyes.
“Yeah, he’s a bit better than him though. From what I’ve seen, at least.” I shrug, taking another swig of my beer. “Dad’s been texting me most of the day, he texted me earlier too. The bullshit you’d expect - pretending to care I took the kids, threatening me.” I explain, handing my phone to Jessie to see the string of unanswered texts.
“I hate them,” She grumbles as she scrolls through the texts. “They won’t find you, don’t worry. They’re too stupid to figure it out.” I chuckle at her comment.
“Yeah, you’re right about that.” I giggle. Beau stands up and offers me the blunt, which I accept and take a long hit from. As I am doing so, I hear a man start laughing and sure enough, Merle and Daryl are standing at the bottom of their porch. I exhale the large puff of smoke and hand the blunt back to Beau, leaning on my knees and resisting the urge to cough.
“Damn girl, who knew ya could have a little fun!” Merle exclaims, walking across the lawn toward us. Daryl and I make eye contact for a short moment before he rolls his eyes and leans against the beat up railing, placing his crossbow on the porch stairs, seemingly waiting for his brother. I roll my eyes with a smirk at Merle’s comment. Ever since earlier, I’ve decided to cut him a little slack. If I was interpreting right, we had more in common than I thought - at least, regarding families.
“Yeah, sometimes.” I respond, offering my beer bottle to him, earning a surprised look from Jessie. I was trying to be nice to Merle to repay him for the gun, so he wouldn’t come collecting in another way. It was the least I could do for a free handgun and clip. Merle looks shocked for a short moment but smirks and takes the bottle from my hand, taking a large swig.
“Yous her family?” Merle asks, looking at Jessie. She hesitates for a moment before shaking her head.
“Friends.” She responds, readjusting her feet uncomfortably. I stand up and suddenly I’m aware of just how close Merle was to me. I am almost touching him as he leans against my railing, my bottle in his large hands, a smirk plastered across his face. He looks fairly attractive in the fire light and his seemingly clean-ish clothes. He’s wearing black cargo pants and a white T-shirt under a jacket, and I take notice of the knife holstered on his hip. “Going hunting?” I ask, taking a step away from him toward the fire and tossing another log in.
“Mhm,” He responds, taking another sip of my beer. “Wanna come with, sweetheart? Can show ya the ways.” He suggests flirtatiously.
“I actually know how to,” I smirk, stepping closer to him and grabbing the beer from his hand, taking a large sip while looking into his eyes. The alcohol and hit were starting to get to me - I was a bit of a lightweight nowadays, since I’ve lost weight and had less time to do this kind of stuff. Merle bites his bottom lip and holds the intense eye contact with me, taking the beer back when I hand it to him and I can feel his eyes on me as I retake my seat beside Jessie.
“Yer loss.” He shrugs, pretending to be indifferent.
“C’mon man!” Daryl shouts from their side of the lawn impatiently. I wish that he would come join us too - I wanna get to know him better.
“Ugh I’m comin! Get yer panties outta a bunch!” He shouts over his shoulder. Merle hands the beer back to me after one last gulp and heads off to rejoin Daryl, walking away into the dark woods.
“What was that all about?” Jessie demands when they are out of earsight. I shrug and set the beer down, not wanting to get anymore intoxicated, given that I still have work later.
“I dunno, gotta be nice. I kinda owe him.” I mumble, kicking at dirt. Truth be told, I found those brothers interesting. Mysterious and dangerous, but alluring. Yes, they were trouble, but I always ended up attracting trouble anyway.
“You better be careful.” Jessie warns me, and I nod.
The night went on peacefully and we all enjoyed talking over the fire and relaxing with the kids asleep. I left for work and Jessie stayed at my place while Beau went out with his friends after dropping me off. He was gonna pick me up after work too, since he was gonna be in the same general area.
My shift was going fine until about one, when I recognized a familiar face and my whole night went sour. The creepy man from the other night was back, and he had his eyes on me. He was with another man at a table instead of the bar, but he was very obviously watching me. I informed the manager on duty but it wasn’t the same man from the other night, so he didn’t know the extent of how creepy the man was. He only came up to the bar once, having his buddy order drinks while he watched me. I remained calm and didn’t even glance at him, handing the drinks to his friend and accepting the two dollar tip without a word.
It took about a half an hour to finish cleaning up after everyone was out of the bar and I was dreading heading outside. I had a feeling that the man would be waiting for me again, but the manager didn’t want me wasting hours and had to stay behind to finish up, so I had to go out alone. I hung up my apron at the door and sighed as I locked up behind myself, leaving the manager alone in the building to finish recounting the drawers. I had already stuffed my tip money into my purse and had my keys tucked between my fingers as I looked around cautiously for a sign of anyone. There were still people out, despite being a bit past three in the morning. Beau hadn’t answered my texts in the last half hour and Jessie was asleep, so I had to wait. Great. Across the street, I spotted a nice looking motorcycle across the street, but that was the only vehicle besides far down the road.
I started walking toward the street light by the corner to wait for Beau when I heard a male voice call out. “Hey! Bitch!” I grasped my keys tighter in my hand and turned my head, spotting the man and his buddy down the alleyway. They stood up from leaning on the wall and started heading my way, so I started walking faster, but then they started running.
“Help!” I hollered and started running across the street. The adrenaline kicked in in my body as fear took over and I ran as fast as I could down the opposite side of the street. They were close behind me and I tried to hop over a fence, but they caught up and threw me onto the ground before I could get all the way over. “Help! Please!” I screamed as loud as I could, trying to kick the men away from me. The main guy sat on top of my hip and shoved a hand over my mouth, smirking evilly down at me as his buddy started trying to lift me. I kicked and flailed as hard as I could but I couldn’t get away as they drug me across the ground into a back alley.
“Hey!” I heard a different male voice holler and then there was the sound of glass breaking. The main man let go of his hand over my mouth to look behind him and I took that opportunity to scream as loud as my lungs would let me, before the second guy punched me in the face. I swore I saw stars as my face throbbed, the two still pinning me, my head propped against the second guy’s chest where he held a knife to my throat.
“Get off her. Now.” A deep male voice demands. I can’t see with the main guy on top of me but I am grateful for whoever it is coming to my rescue. The men only chuckle evilly but then something happens and the second guy jumps away from me quickly, making me slam my head down on the concrete. I groan and my vision goes blurry with tears as the stinging in my head intensifies. “Help…” I mutter as I fight to stay conscious, my head throbbing. The cold, rocky concrete is painful against my cheek, but not as bad as the weight of the man or the stinging in my head.
I can finally see around the main guy and spot a man a few yards away, aiming something in our direction. It’s hard to see with my blurred vision and the darkness, but it looks like a weird sideways weapon. “Ay, man. Chill out. We was just having some fun, that’s all.” The second guy insists, holding his hands up a little. I try to wiggle away but the man on top of me grabs onto my throat and holds a knife toward me.
“Think I won’t? Get the hell outta here or I’ll kill her right here, right now.” The man growls. I stare at the sharp tip of the knife in my face, fearing this is where my life will end. What will happen to Bailey and Colton without me?
The next moment is a huge blur. One second, there is a knife in my face, and the next, the man falls off of me, screaming in pain on the ground beside me. I jump up off the ground as fast as I can and stumble away from them, running blindly in the direction of where I had seen the shadowy figure of the other man. I stumble and trip in the combination of darkness and the pain throughout my body, reaching out to the brick wall to catch myself from falling but someone else catches me and I start flailing and trying to get away, until I look up.
It’s Merle. He hoists me up from where I was half fallen on the ground onto my feet and puts a hand around my waist to keep me up against him. His face is serious and it’s the first time he hasn’t cracked any jokes to me. I’ve never been more relieved to see someone in my life. I reach up and hold onto his neck, trying to keep my balance. The man continues screaming and cursing and I look back, spotting Daryl holding up a crossbow. “Oh shit! Fuck!” The second man screams, running away and leaving his friend behind with an arrow in his ass. Daryl walks over to him and takes his knife, pressing a foot on the man’s back and yanking the arrow out from his asscheek. I turn and hide my face in Merle’s shirt, disgusted and terrified. The screaming continues and then I hear a second scream and a trash can get knocked over. When I look back again, the other man is laying on the ground toward the back of the alley, an arrow in his leg.
Daryl stalks over to him and rips the arrow from his leg as well, kicking the man in the face before heading back toward the first man. “Ya ever, ever - come back here again… I’ll kill ya.” Daryl growls at the main guy who had been stalking me. Daryl rejoins us and puts a hand on my back hesitantly, looking down at me. I’d never been this close to either of the brothers and yet, somehow, I felt safer now.
“T-thank you.” I mumble into Merle’s chest, holding onto him tight, too afraid to let go. Tears stained into his shirt but I couldn’t bring myself to care - I was shaking and biting back crying.
“C’mon,” Merle mumbles, grasping onto my tight and trying to turn me around. I held onto him tight and let them lead me away, not paying attention. I saw Daryl grab my purse and keys in the corner of my eye and noticed Merle was leading me to a motorcycle. “You take her back, little brother. I’ll meet ya there after I finish up here.” Merle lets go of me and I feel like I’m going to fall over from the pounding in my head, but Daryl grabs onto me before I can fall completely over.
“Damn,” Daryl mutters, grabbing me tight and I notice that we are face to face. He’s got me by my waist and my hands grasp onto his shirt collar. “Sorry…” I mumble, blinking away fresh tears. He doesn’t respond but he helps me onto the back of the motorcycle. “Hold onto this.” He takes my hand and places it on these handlebar things, and I do. I do my best to stay up straight while he attaches my purse and his crossbow onto the back of the motorcycle and then sits in front of me. I whip my head toward the alley when I hear more screaming, but Daryl starts the engine and revs the bike. “Hold onto me. Tight.” Daryl hollers over his shoulder, and I do so without hesitation. I wrap my arms tightly around his waist and lean my head against his shoulder, terrified to fall off. I’ve never been on a motorcycle before - if I had been in a normal state of mind, I would have objected. But at this point, I wanted to get home as fast as possible.
The motorcycle is fast and the wind blows past us. I keep my eyes closed and focus on holding onto Daryl, feeling lightheaded and scared of falling off. It’s a short ride and he has to help me off of the bike. Holding onto his rough hand made me feel anxious and insecure but I had to in order to keep upright. He led me inside his house, and I did not object, as I did not want the kids to see me or for me to wake them up. He leads me over to a beaten up couch and I hesitantly sit down, looking around cautiously. I didn’t know if anyone else was here, but it seemed we were alone. I held onto my own arms tightly and tried to focus on my breathing. “I should uh, check ya out.” Daryl mumbles, crouching down in front of me. He waits for me to respond in some way, so I nod and uncross my arms. He runs a hand up my bare leg and I force myself not to flinch. I’m not afraid of Daryl, but tonight’s events have me shaken up. “Stand up,” He says, offering me his hand to help me get up. He lifts up my shirt a little and I flinch when he touches my back. “Yer pretty scratched up.” He comments, removing his hand from my back. “Should put somethin on that, so it don’t get infected.” He stands up when I sit back down and walks away, presumably to grab something. I hold onto my head and wince in pain where there is a large bump already forming.
Daryl returns with a few items in hand. He gives me a package of peas and shrugs, not meeting my eye. “Don’t have ice packs.” He mumbles, kneeling in front of me. “Turn around.” He tells me, and I move so that he can get to my back, placing the ice on my head. He starts applying something cold to my back and I sit as still as I can, wincing at the pain from where I was drug across the concrete. “Yer shirt’s all torn.” He notes when he pulls it back down. “Lemme see yer head.” I remove the ice and he gently runs his fingers through my hair, eventually finding the lump and I jump in pain, tearing up. “Sorry,” He mutters. “How do you feel? Ya might have a concussion.” He says, and I groan.
“I can’t afford to have a concussion.” I mumble and lean back into the sofa, holding the ice against my head once more. Daryl places a gentle hand on my cheek, below my eye, where I was punched. I look into his eyes as he gently rubs his rough thumb over what is surely a black eye. “M’sorry this happened to ya.” He mutters, looking away.
“Thank you for saving me.” I respond quietly.
“Wish I’d been there sooner.” He grumbles, standing up and removing his vest, tossing it onto the seat. He is wearing a black button down shirt and black jeans, his hair is matted against his forehead - but he looks very attractive. I look down at my bare knees that are now scratched up and feel my eyes burning again.
“What were you doing there, anyway?” I ask, changing the subject.
“Merle wanted a drink. Said ya worked there, wanted to bother ya I’m sure.” I let out a small chuckle and he continues. “We were leavin to head back, but we heard ya yellin.” I nod and look down again, trying not to think about it. I should be used to this sort of thing by now, given what I went through as a child.
Before either of us can say anything more, the door opens and Merle steps in, wiping his hands off on a rag. I notice the faint red marks on his knuckles and wonder what he had been doing, but try not to think of that either. Whatever he did, I didn’t care. Those men deserved it.
“She good?” Merle asks his brother, looking over at me huddled on their sofa. Daryl nods and explains my injuries briefly to Merle, who huffs. “Lucky we were there, sugar.” He comments. I don’t respond, hugging myself and shivering a little. Daryl notices but Merle heads to the bathroom, probably to clean up. Daryl walks away but returns shortly with a shirt and sweatpants. “Here. Ya can change in my room.” He mutters, handing the clothes to me. I am shocked but I accept and stand up slowly, following him back to his room. He shuts the door behind himself and I stand there for a moment, surprised to be in his room. He’s a lot sweeter than he likes to come off, it seems. It’s a very standard room. Pretty messy, no decorations, basic sheets on the bed, old paint. He clearly doesn’t care much for the room, it seems like he probably only uses it to sleep. It’s not “homey.” I remove my now ruined shirt and skirt and throw the large T-shirt on and tie the sweatpants on tight so they will fit me. The shirt is baggy and I notice it smells like Daryl. I hadn’t known what he smelled like before today but now I recognize it. It kinda smells like the outdoors, like firewood or something. It’s a nice scent, though, and I find it comforting.
I open the door with my old clothes in hand and spot Daryl waiting down the hall, leant up against the wall. Merle comes out of the bathroom at the same time and we make awkward eye contact. “Look like a Darylina.” He comments with a chuckle, walking past me toward the kitchen. Daryl looks at me for a long moment, until I meet his eye, and then he drops his gaze to the floor. I slowly approach him and give him a forced, appreciative smile. “Thank you.” I tell him gratefully. He has been so kind to me tonight. Before today, I hadn’t barely spoken to him before and he was always standoffish and seemed to avoid talking to me. It was a weird change, but welcomed. If only the circumstances it occurred under were different…
“Want me to throw em away?” He asks, referring to my clothes in hand. I shrug and hand them to him. He tosses them into a trash can and Merle walks over to the chair by the TV, popping open and beer and kicking his feet up. He seemed so nonchalant about the whole situation, it was weird. “Oh shit,” I mutter, realizing Beau is probably worried, waiting for me. “Do you have my phone?” I ask Daryl.
“That’s what yer worried bout?” Merle speaks up.
“No, I had been waiting for my ride. He’s probably worried.” I explain, looking to Daryl, hoping he had grabbed it. Silently, he pulls my phone from his pocket and hands it to me. “Thank you.” I unlock it and find a million missed calls from both Beau and Jessie. He must have woken her up when I never showed up. “Shit.” I grumble. I hated worrying them, after all they do for me.
“Yer boyfriend?” Merle asks, gulping down some of his beer.
“No, my friend’s boyfriend.” I respond as I text both of them in a group message that I was okay and that I would explain.
“Why would yer friend’s man be pickin ya up at three in the mornin?” Merle asks with a wink.
“Ew, no. I’m not like that. He’s a good friend, she’s watching the kids for me at my house right now. I gotta go let them know I’m okay…” I trail off, then remember I’m in Daryl’s clothes. “Uh, I can go change and bring these back-” I start, but he shakes his head.
“Keep em.” He insists, and I feel bad, but don’t fight back. “Ya might have a concussion, so ya should have someone check up on ya when ya sleep tonight, and get it checked.” He explains.
“Doctor Daryl.” Merle jokes sarcastically, and his brother shoots him an evil eye.
“Thank you guys for helping me. I don’t know how I can repay you…” I trail off, refusing to think about the course of the night again.
“Don’t worry bout it, darlin.” Merle smirks.
“Couldn’t just leave ya there.” Daryl mutters awkwardly, shuffling his feet.
“Well, still. Thank you.” I repeat before heading toward the door. Daryl follows behind me, handing me my purse and keys, and I wave before walking out and heading back to my house slowly, careful not to trip. I look back and notice he is watching me and I feel my cheeks heat up, fumbling to get my key out and open my door. I notice Beau’s truck is here and when I open the door, the two of them are sitting on the sofa, waiting for me.
Jessie and Beau were furious when I told them what happened and I ended up crying on her shoulder, letting the emotions from the night settle in. Beau threatened to go back out looking for them but I told him what I suspected Merle did and he didn’t. Jessie helped me get cleaned up and settled into bed. She slept next to me in my bed that night and woke me up every two hours, in case I had a concussion. Beau slept on the couch and I had never felt more appreciative for anyone more than I did for them and Daryl in that very moment...
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209 notes · View notes
Texts from the Lost Tomb, part 5.4
I swear folks once I get this and the last part up I’m gonna condense it all
But yeah couldn’t resist some <3
Zhang and Wu Chat
Wu Xie: Um. I’m all done with the shower if you want a turn.
Zhang Qiling: I’m alright without one.
Wu Xie: sooo are you pissed at me still?
Zhang Qiling: ? I have not been angry with you since the ladder incident.
Wu Xie: you’ve barely said anything since the necklace thingy
Zhang Qiling: I believe it is a long-running joke amongst my friend group that I do not, in fact, say much.
Wu Xie: okay but there are multiple gouges in the tea house walls that would suggest you had somewhat strong feelings today
and I kinda caused the events that sparked said feelings
so just checking in you know
Zhang Qiling: I was not angry so much as I was afraid. More afraid than I’ve been in a long time.
Wu Xie: ??? But it has worked out fine??? Everyone made it out alive and Uncle Erbai gets to feel morally superior to the Zhang family for a while so today was a win overall
Zhang Qiling: I heard you scream. I didn’t know what had happened. I couldn’t get to you right away. Therefore, I was afraid.
Wu Xie: ohhhhh. oh, Xiao Ge. It’s alright now—hey the necklace was actually helping u look out for me:) It’s not like those ppl were actually trying to hurt me, really. Your family isn’t so bad, at least you don’t have any uncles you know of
today was just some big misunderstandings wrapped in some poor life choices. Tbh my memoir title
I feel kind of stupid for screaming but when a glowing necklace wraps itself around your neck it’s a little uhoh moment lol
I did like the design tho def my aesthetic.
Zhang Qiling: I am pleased that it was able to protect you when I was not.
Wu Xie: Uh no you are not allowed to get all emo abt this it’s only like 3pm
damn time flies when it’s flashing before your eyes lol
Are you on the roof? You’re def on the roof. I thought I heard the tiles moving over my head. Come down or I’m coming up.
Zhang Qiling: I will be down in a moment. Do not come outside, it’s cold and raining.
Wu Xie: you know, Zhang Rishan said he thinks the necklace might be linked to you, somehow
something from long ago, even though you wouldn’t remember it.
It’s lucky that it liked me, huh:)
Zhang Qiling: Yes. Quite lucky.
Babysitters Club Chat
Wang Pangzi: AWW LOOK AT HIM NAPPING ON YOUR SHOULDER SO CUTE. BEBES HAD A BIG DAY. YOU TWO ARE PRECIOUS. BE GOOD AND POSE FOR THE PICTURE NOW.
Zhang Qiling: No. Also, I am considering what steps I should take with Zhang Rishan. Regardless of his concern for the Zhang family line, his actions were unacceptable.
Wang Pangzi: HES DROOLING A LITTLE ON YOU WHICH IS LESS CUTE BUT I CAN CROP THAT PART
LOOK I KNOW YOURE STILL PISSED. IM NOT EXACTLY CALM MYSELF, I JUST HAVE WAYS TO SKIRT AROUND TIANZHENS BULLSHIT FILTER THAT YOU LACK
GET ON MY LEVEL
WU ERBAI WILL HANDLE IT, THINGS HAVE SETTLED I THINK
BUT ABOUT THAT NECKLACE
SO INTERESTING HMMM
Zhang Qiling: I am the patriarch of my family. The necklace behaved as I would, apparently, to protect a vulnerable family member. Wu Xie’s bad cold last week activated it, and it responded to a perceived danger to him today. Simple enough.
Wang Pangzi: UH HUH
A FAMILY MEMBER
THE NECKLACE REALLY SAID LOVE WINS
TOLKIEN COULD NEVER
Zhang Qiling: It protected him on a technicality. But I will not allow him to bear the burdens of my family ever again. It has taken so much from him already.
Wang Pangzi: YEAH SURE BLAH BLAH DESTINY BLAH BLAH ANGST
“A TECHNICALITY” WOW WHO SAID ROMANCE WAS DEAD
ANYHOO IM SCREENSHOTTING THIS FOR UR WEDDING RECEPTION SLIDESHOW
YA KNOW DURING MY SPEECH
Friends of Wu Xie Support Group Chat
Hei Yangjing: you’re welcome for everything today<3 I accept PayPal, although of course it is always my honor to assist my friends:)
Wang Pangzi: WE ARENT PAYING YOU SHIT
Zhang Qiling: You did absolutely nothing.
Hei Yangjing: whoa whoa maybe I wasn’t threatening family members or busting up load-bearing walls like some undying divas I could name but I totes helped
or at least I was there for moral support maybe?
Zhang Qiling: The only reason I knew you were there at all was that as I lowered my blade from Zhang Rishan’s neck, I heard the camera click and saw you were taking a selfie making a peace sign, angled to have the two of us in the background.
Xie Yuchen: I saw it on social media just now. The caption is “#greatdaycatchingupwiththelads #blessed”
Wang Pangzi: TBH KIND OF JEALOUS I DIDNT THINK TO DO THAT
Hei Hangjing: okay yeah you see Xiao Ge that is a modern kind of help I should’ve known you wouldn’t be aware
It’s called performance, you wouldn’t understand
it’s a ‘Gram thing
Also it means I’m a great person
Bc letting you handle the situation was my gift to you
Zhang Qiling: Wu Xie mentioned there is something called “blocking ppl” that gets them out of my phone.
Hei Yangjing: nah
Can’t trust that Wu Xie, bae can’t tell a coffin from an urn amirite
it’s not a thing, blocking
Xie Yuchen: It is a thing. I’ll show you later, Zhang Qiling.
Wang Pangzi: YOU BOYS GO GET CLEANED UP AND COME BY AROUND 9 I SNAGGED SOME OF ZHANG RISHANS BOOZE ON THE WAY OUT
Bonnie and Clyde Chat
Hei Yangjing: you looked pretty comfortable in those handcuffs earlier ;););)
Xie Yuchen: Go to sleep, idiot.
Hei Yangjing: You’d have to do something to tire me out ;););)
Xie Yuchen: Are you like this around Wu Xie? Not that I care, I’m just asking.
Hei Yangjing: uh that’s a big nope
First off all Idk when I’ll die but Id prefer it to be on my terms and not at the hands of those other two
Secondly there is a part of me that remembers how adorable he was when he was younger and that makes it weird
(No offense but u were not adorable. He was bebe luke skywalker, you were bebe princess leia I am obvs Han Solo 4lyfe)
Also I’m a little scared that if i flirted with him and he flirted back he’d be better at it.
Xie Yuchen: All valid concerns.
Hei Yangjing: as cute as he is I don’t really wanna tap that.
Xie Yuchen: I see.
Hei Yangjing: do you tho
Main Chat
Wu Xie: okay folks who wants cocoa to top the evening off? I picked some up today:D
Wang Pangzi: UH YOU SPENT YOUR DAY BEING KIDNAPPED AND PLACATING A SENTIENT NECKLACE WHEN DID YOU HAVE TIME TO GET GROCERIES
FRANKLY THATS INTIMIDATING
Wu Xie: the tea house gift shop:)
Wang Pangzi: …YOU BOUGHT COCOA FROM YOUR KIDNAPPERS. FROM THEIR GIFT SHOP. DURING YOUR KIDNAPPING.
WU XIE
WU XIE WHY
Wu Xie: I mean we were there the whole day, it felt impolite not to buy anything.
Wang Pangzi: OH RIGHT GREAT POINT ID HATE TO BE RUDE TO THEM AFTER THEY WENT TO THE TROUBLE OF ABDUCTING US
LISTEN WHEN PPL STEAL YOU IT BECOMES FREE REIGN ON THEIR SHIT
UGH YOU PROBABLY GOT A RECEIPT AND EVERYTHING
WAS UR LITTLE SHOPPING TRIP BEFORE OR AFTER THEY STUCK U IN A DUNGEON TO EXPERIMENT ON YOU
WAIT NVM I DONT WANT TO KNOW THE ANSWER TO THAT
Wu Xie: look, let’s focus on the positives/ we are all okay, and we learned something new, that necklace is still active! It’s really quite nice-looking when it isn’t moving of its own volition.
Wang Pangzi: YOU AND YOUR RELENTLESS DUCKING OPTIMISM
ZHANG QILING ARE YOU SEEING THIS
Zhang Qiling: I would love some cocoa. I’ll come to the kitchen.
Wu Xie: I have special marshmallows for you!!
Wang Pangzi: I SEE
WE ARE SUBSCRIBING TO THE PRESTIGIOUS “FUCK IT WHY NOT” SCHOOL OF THOT TONIGHT
LOL SURE LETS GO COCOA IT UP
IVE GOT SOMETHING STRONG TO POP IN IT
Wu Xie: Still thinking about that design… I’d love another chance to examine that necklace under less Zhangy circumstances.
Kinda sad we couldn’t borrow it to use for illnesses and dangerous missions :/
ah well it’s for the best, a family heirloom should be treasured, preserved and protected<3
Zhang Qiling: I put it on your dresser.
Wu Xie: ???????
Wang Pangzi: AND THATS WHY YOU AND I ARE FRIENDS, XIAOGE <3
Wu Xie: I—
Zhang Qiling: Are those bunny-shaped marshmallows for me?
55 notes · View notes
meltwonu · 3 years
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| 🍒 CH-CH-CHERRY BOMB! 🍒 |     [CHAPTER 17]
pairing; dom!seungcheol x camgirl!reader
this chapter’s notes; camshow, intercrural sex, lots ‘o teasing, dirty talk/the absolute tiniest bit of degradation, some cum play/cum eating, seungcheol having a kink for thighs/thigh highs 😳😗 welcome to the weekend my bbys!! I hope yall are having a good day/night!! Also again, another inbox roundup tomorrow(also an updates post)!! 💕 Might be a regular thing for the next 4-ish weeks ‘cause I have been so busy this month 😭 and I can’t believe there’s only 3 more chapters of CB left!! 😭😭 some bangers on the way tho LMAO 🤣 As always, thank you so much for the love and support!!💕💕 Have a great rest of your weekend and enjoy ch 17![cheol voice] seventeen right here 😌💕🍒 
chapters; 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12 - 13 - 14 - 15 - 16 - 17 - x - x - x
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Seungcheol doubles over in laughter, tears blurring his vision as his laughs turn into quiet wheezes.
“God, this is so embarrassing.” Seokmin mutters; cheeks burning crimson when he glances over to Jeongguk who shrugs back. “Maybe I really should quit…”
Jeongguk scoffs jokingly, “Maybe you shouldn’t have lied. No offense, but all the staff here probably have at least seen her before and you just so happened to lie to her actual boyfriend. That’s honestly really lucky if you ask me! You should buy a lotto ticket!” Seokmin whines back, shifting on his heels as he watches Seungcheol start to wipe the tears away.
“Hyung, can you please take this Edible Arrangements I got you so I can go ask Namjoon-hyung to fire me?” This only causes Seungcheol to laugh harder and this time, Jeongguk can’t help the giggle that bubbles past his tightly pursed lips.
“Please!” Seokmin begs, shaking the basket of skewered fruit at the older male. “I heard the diner across down is still hiring, I can still save the rest of my dignity if I leave now!”
Seungcheol shakes his head, eyelashes wet with tears when he takes the gift from Seokmin’s hands to place it on the countertop of the concession stand. “Hate to break it to you but she works there and one of the staff is also one of her regulars so I think your best bet is workin’ here. Embarrassment and all.”
“So, okay… But you’re not mad?”
Jeongguk peels the cellophane off of the basketed fruit, looking to Seungcheol for permission before he takes a skewer. “Go ahead. And no, I’m not mad. If anything I should apologize too, I shouldn’t have let you keep lying when I already knew. But also, to be fair, we weren’t really… official ‘til recently.” Seungcheol shoots the younger male a sheepish smile; cheeks a pretty pink of their own. “And it’s kinda been nice meeting you guys too. It’s great to know you’re not all weirdos.”
Seokmin laughs lightly, breathing a sigh of relief. “Okay, cool, ‘cause this place pays really well and I’d hate to stop working here and you guys are a lot cooler than the coworkers I had before.” He rolls his eyes jokingly, leaning up against the countertop as he picks off a strawberry from the basket.
“Don’t even get me started on this coworker I had at the last place. His name was Mingyu, I think? Suuuuuch a kissass. I had to move to manning the register at all times just so I could avoid him pickin’ his nose in the backroom and then pretending like he was doin’ shit.”
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“Hey, Seungcheol-hyung?”
Seokmin’s inquisitive voice has Seungcheol turning; setting the rollerskates in his hand down onto the bench. “Yeah?”
“Do you think it’s weird that we’re, like, watching your girlfriend?” He tilts his head in thought, eyes blinking up to the ceiling. “I don’t want to overstep or something if it’s weird, y’know? I’ve been thinking about what Jeongguk said earlier...”
Seungcheol grins back at him, eyes twinking. He’d also thought about that before too, when he first found out that Jeongguk had also watched your streams.
“I don’t really mind ‘cause at the end of the day, it’s you watching me fucking my girlfriend.”
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“Well, I’m glad he took it… well?” You giggle, tugging the white thigh high up your leg.
Seungcheol pulls off his shirt as he sits on the edge of the bed; tossing the wrinkled material onto the floor as he laughs under his breath.
“He did give me an Edible Arrangements while I laughed so hard I cried. I think he’s learned his lesson.”
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xcaliburDK: good news, i didnt quit!!
chwenon: i was gonna say
chwenon: u literally started like last week
universe_WZ has donated $75
angelhan has donated $75
therealchan99 has donated $50
therealchan99: u look rly pretty in ur white set!!!
“Aww, thank you! It’s one of my favorites~ And ‘xcaliburDK’, I’m glad you didn’t quit!” You wink at the camera, giggling softly in Seungcheol’s lap as he peppers kisses along your shoulder.
A shiver runs up your spine at his gentle touches and you easily melt under his soft kisses and roaming fingertips. He ghosts them across your breasts, teasing you through the thin lace as you mewl and squirm against his cock that’s pressed firm against your ass. “A-ah, S--Seungcheol…”
tangerine_kwan: she looks so happy now that she can call ur name out lol
alphagyu97: now i cant pretend its me tho
gentleman_josh95: i mean i guess but are u even built like him
alphagyu97: well
Your body slowly starts to fill with warmth; soft stuttered breaths falling from your lips when he drags his fingers down your torso until they play with the hem of your panties. “M-more… tease me m-more…” He grins against your shoulder; hooking a finger around the waistband of your panties and tugging it away from you before letting it snap against your skin.
“‘Cheol!” Whining, your legs snap shut on impulse as you feel a gush of wetness soaking into your panties.
“Ah, ah, ah, part those legs, princess. Don’t make me have to punish you.”
kitty_junjun: no thats what the shibari stream is for right? Right? 😩
artist8hao: is that really happening bc i want to see it
alphagyu97: u guys should do it and think of it as like a rebrand of the channel ykwim
hoshi_tiger_xx: jdfkjhf like a grand re-opening under new management
therealchan99: what is this, a restaurant?
chwenon: u guys should come up with a new channel name too or sth
Seungcheol manages to read off a few of their comments; committing some to memory knowing that your eyes were still sealed shut as you focused on his soft touches.
He drags his fingers down further, humming when he can already feel how wet you were getting. “Hmm~ Already soaked through your pretty panties, baby~” Your head rolls back against his shoulder, nodding gently as you start to grind against the fingers that he uses to press into your clothed, wet folds.
“F-feels good w-when you, ah, t-tease me…”
Unbeknownst to you, Seungcheol smirks, eyes twinkling at the camera. “You really like it, huh? When I just touch you gently like this. Not enough to get you off but just enough to get you soaking wet until you’re begging for my cock.” He pauses; pressing a soft kiss to your skin. “I wanna try something with you, pretty baby~”
You gulp as you raise your head from his shoulder and he retracts his hands from your body as you shift your body and slightly turn to the side to face him.
Seungcheol’s eyes are blown wide with lust and you can already feel his cock throbbing against your lower back as he smiles dreamily at you.
“I think you’ll like it too.”
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A stuttered moan falls from your lips as Seungcheol’s cock slides past your tightly clasped, yet shaky, thighs.
“O-oh, ‘Cheol, this--this is…” The words die on your tongue as your head falls forward and Seungcheol is quick to reprimand you, just as he draws his hips back.
“Baby, I want you to watch yourself on the screen. I want you to see your cute face while I tease your pretty body.” He moans; thrusting between your wet thighs as your hazy eyes peer at the laptop’s screen. Your lips are swollen and your pupils are blown wide when you catch yourself and you can see the head of Seungcheol’s cock only just breaching past your clamped thighs when he thrusts forward.
You let out a guttural moan, eyes rolling to the back of your head when he alternates between thrusting between your thighs and letting his cock slide against your soaked, panty-clad mound. 
He hadn’t bothered to undress you at all, but you didn’t mind. The material of your panties only added onto the pleasure with every drag of his cock against you.  
Seungcheol teases you even more; dragging his hands down to your thigh highs and letting his fingertips play right underneath the hems before pulling the material away from your thighs and letting them snap against your skin, much like he’d done with your panties.
“Ah, fuck, m-more! P-please…” He repeats the action a few more times, playing with the sheer fabric of your thigh highs before he draws his hips back. Except this time, when you expect him to thrust back between your legs, he wraps a hand around his cock instead, guiding himself until the head of his cock is rubbing up against the sheer fabric.
“Fuck, you’d look so pretty with cum all over your pretty thighs. I should cum all over your panties and your white ‘lil thigh highs and get them all soaked. Don’t you think they’d be cute? Sticking to you like a second skin? Translucent ‘n soaked through with my cum?” He laughs under his breath, watching through the laptop screen at the way you bite your lip and furrow your brows at the thought.
“I--I want t-that… I want S--Seungcheol t-to make, ngh, a m-mess…”
angelhan: i kno we say this all the time but can u upload some pics of that later
angelhan has donated $75
universe_WZ: seconded cuz thatd look so fuckin hot
universe_WZ has donated $50
alphagyu97 has donated $75
alphagyu97: fuck, like a lil angel covered in cum
Seungcheol teases you and himself at the same time; rubbing his cock against your fabric-clad thighs. He spreads precum onto the material, licking his lips when it already becomes translucent and sticks to your skin.
He positions his cock back between your thighs once he’s had his fill and quickly finds himself doubling his pace when he sees how wet you’re getting his cock without even having taken your panties off. “God, look at you. I don’t even need to fuck you to get you this wet. You just need to rub your ‘lil cunt against my cock and it’s enough for you, huh? I should make you sit on my lap, rub your pretty ‘lil pussy on my cock ‘til you’re cumming over and over again.”
“Ngh, yes! Fuck, Seungcheol! I--I can feel your c-cock throbbing between my l-legs… Please, please c-cum, mmh, all over my s-skin…”
“That’s right, baby. So fuckin’ desperate to be covered in it too. And always so fuckin’ pretty when you are.”
You let out a whimper as you try to focus on watching yourself just like Seungcheol had asked you to. Your lips are parted in soft breaths and you can’t seem to unfurrow your brows as Seungcheol chases his pleasure behind you.
angelhan: what if
angelhan: seungcheol in thigh highs lmao
universe_WZ: sub.cheol
sleepy_wonu: sub.cheol
universe_WZ: jinx
sleepy_wonu: fuck u 
You lick your lips at the thought; although you knew Seungcheol would have a hard time relinquishing his dominating nature.
But your mind wanders as you continue to think about it; various images of Seungcheol tied up underneath you while you fucked yourself on his cock running through your mind. You let out a shaky moan, to which Seungcheol hums.
“What are you thinkin’ about, princess?”
“Um… ah, n-nothing…” He thrusts between your legs hard, making you jolt forward as you yelp.
“Princess...”
“I--ah! J-just thinking a-about… y-you tied up, ngh, to--to the bed and m-me fuh--fucking myself on your c-cock… ‘n me u-using, mmh, my toys o-on you...” Seungcheol smirks, pulling his cock from between your shaky thighs as he slightly pushes you over until you're on your back.
He spreads your legs as you look up at him and he’s quick to wrap a hand around his cock as he jerks himself off above you. “Oh, I bet you’d love that, wouldn’t you? I bet you’d be so cute trying to be the domme for a night.” Seungcheol teases.
You find yourself clenching around emptiness as you think of the possibilities. You definitely wanted to try it if Seungcheol was willing.
“Fuck, but first, gonna cover your pretty body with my cum.” He groans; thrusting up into his palm as he chases his high.
“C-cum all over me, Seungcheol…”
The donations and comments sound off in the back as you maintain eye contact with Seungcheol who’s brows furrow when he starts to feel himself about to cum. He scoots back a little; growling when his cock throbs in his grasp and he cums all over your, already, soaked panties.
You let out a moan when rivulets of cum hit your lower abdomen and you’re quick to reach down and scoop some up to bring to your mouth, smearing the warm substance against your puckered lips before licking it off. Whimpering, you dip your fingers into your mouth; this time pretending they were Seungcheol’s instead of your own.
He guides his cock until the head is aimed at your thighs; streaks of cum settling into the sheer material of your thigh highs. “God, you’re so damn pretty...” Groaning, he milks his cock for every drop of cum before he’s stopping to catch his breath.
“You came so much but I didn’t cum yet, ‘Cheol~” Pouting, you turn your head to the side to face the camera. “Tell him he has to make me cum now~”
kitty_junjun: well u heard the lady!!
hoshi_tiger_xx: make her cum and let her cream her cute lil panties even more
therealchan99: oh fuck yeah, get her off without fucking her cute cunt
Seungcheol leans over your body until the two of you are almost face to face, eyes twinkling with playfulness when you feel his sticky hand playing with your thigh highs again.
“D’you hear that? Let’s give them what they want, baby.”
The sounds of donations and comments once again get lost as Seungcheol finds himself on his knees between your legs.
“Ready?”
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When you slide into bed after your camshow’s ended and Seungcheol has properly taken care of you, he’s quick to tug you into his chest. 
The two of you let out soft sighs at the warmth that envelopes you both as you finally start to settle in for the night.
After a few minutes, Seungcheol clears his throat, catching you just before you drift off to sleep.
“This is so random but have you considered, I dunno, rebranding your channel… with me? I was thinking about it and kinda wanted your opinion...”
You blink up curiously at him, urging him to continue. “I mean, yeah, of course! I don’t really know where to start though since it’s always just been me. And to be honest, I wasn’t sure if you wanted to either so I never brought it up.” You snuggle into his warmth, yawning as the sleep threatens to take over.
“But let’s talk about it later, ‘cause ‘m tired now, ‘Cheol. You really didn’t have to make me cum twice…” You mumble, “I can still feel my legs shaking...”
His soft laugh reverberates in your chest and he’s quick to press a kiss against your hair as he tugs you in closer.
“It’s ‘cause I like to spoil you. And okay. I’ll remind you when you’re more conscious.”
“G’night, ‘Cheol...”
“Goodnight, baby.” 
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seita · 4 years
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some coping mechanism are wrong and do need to be discussed or changed!! neurodivergency doesn’t give u an excuse to hurt or trigger others!! coping mechanisms don’t exist in vaccums... and you and ur followers are harming real people by saying such
i was going to ignore most everything i got on the subject because quite frankly i'm over it. every opposing take either doesn't make sense, is completely ignorant, or is just plain stupid.
this one? is just idiocy.
so i'm gonna take the time to explain some things to you.
i cannot begun to express the ignorance and privilege that is seeped into every single word of this ask. i am actually baffled that you genuinely thought that this was, in any way shape or form, okay. or that you even thought this was a hot take at all.
you do not have any jurisdiction or power to tell other people that the way they cope is wrong. that is so beyond disgusting.
do you know why people choose to write dark content to cope?
a few reasons that range from: gives power/comfort over their trauma to lets them release emotions that otherwise have no outlet.
beyond that is that some people don’t have the resources or support system needed to cope in other ways. all they may have is a pen and paper or a laptop. they may not live in a home where they were believed, they may still be trapped with their abuser, or they may just plain not be able to afford therapy.
but do you know what the fun thing is? plenty of these people who choose to cope in this way are advised by their therapists to do it. like myself.
i used to write in little notebooks as a child -- really dark, foul shit and i didn’t understand why i did it. i talked to my therapist and i was told it’s a great outlet! i have to say writing is probably one of the top reasons i managed to get to the space i am in today.
when i learned the wonders of the internet growing up, i also sought out to READ the content. of course, it was very hard to find because of people like you who do nothing but shame it simply because of the real world values the crimes possess and for some reason refuse to see it in a fictional, helpful way.
it’s a very real and very valid coping mechanism: both reading and writing are incredibly beneficial.
this outlet also helps people just the same as it can hurt people. i don’t know who or what you think you’re doing but survivors who are triggered by the content of a darker nature WILL NOT CLICK ON IT TO READ IT. why are you acting like survivors and victims are brainless, mindless idiots who will read something clearly labeled with their triggers as if there’s some invisible force dictating them too?
and who are you? a highschool student? a college student? a therapist? what right gives you, a random person on the internet, to dictate something that has been ADVISED and PROVEN to help with coping to trauma to deem it wrong?
im gonna go ahead and say your morality. nothing beyond that.
you see dark content as just disgusting porn fucked up people jerk off to but it’s beyond that. and very obviously something you do not understand and most likely refuse to understand.
you think because you think something is wrong that it should be wrong all around. you don’t like it so it shouldn’t be done.
i hate to break it to you but the real world isn’t going to cater to you. i sure as fuck won’t. i’m not in charge of making you feel happy or content on the internet. if you log on to your computer and expect people to babysit you and make you feel comforted and safe -- you’re doing the internet wrong.
you only choose to see the negative side to this. you see that people can be triggered or hurt by this content and that’s valid. people can and will be. but there’s also a HUGE number that people like you choose to ignore and invalidate under the guise of protecting survivors only to hurt them at the same time. it doesn’t make sense.
you’re not trying to advocate and protect people -- you’re trying to make the fandom and content match up to your puritan ideals and fantasies. the world isn’t like that. people are always going to do things you don’t like and have opposing opinions on things. stop trying to act like you’re doing this for the greater good -- a martyr, hero complex isn’t a cute look and we can see exactly what you’re doing.
i don’t understand why it’s so hard to accept that dark content does not have as big of a negative impact as you think it does.
i also don’t understand how other survivors can see what people like me do and tell us we’re wrong. i don’t go out of my way to shame you and say “oh you don’t like dark content? weird.” i mind my own fucking business and stay away from blogs that don’t want to interact with dark content writers.
i am respectful always. i never attack people for having opposing opinions. i never attack people personally. people who write dark content don’t do that shit.
you know who does?
your side.
you know what someone said to me in an effort to shame me and bully me for writing what i write? they called my writing shit -- the thing i use to cope and help other cope. i’ve never gone on anon or off anon and told someone their writing was shit.
i also had someone ask me why i think being a victim made me special. i’m gonna let you sit and figure out exactly what is wrong with that question.
those are the types of people you’re enabling and encouraging. if you people just left dark writers alone we wouldn’t hurt anyone. you all preach this shit about how dark content is SOOOOO easily availble anyone can read it. that is false. the only way to find dark content is to ALREADY BE ASSOCIATING WITH PEOPLE WHO CREATE OR CONSUME DARK CONTENT. it’s not tagged in the main tags. it will not show up in your orbit or be blasted on your page because someone posted it.
and then you people say “oh minors will be convinced it’s okay!!!” no. minors aren’t as stupid as you seem to think they are. they fully know and understand exactly what they’re getting into. they see the word rape and know in real life THAT’S BAD.
you don’t want a slasher film and think  “oh wow look at him killin all those people but not getting caught I COULD DO THAT TOO!!!!” no. you don’t. because you know it’s wrong.
y’all are so high up on you moral horse that you think everyone around you is fucking stupid and has no common sense.
if someone thinks what they read in fiction makes it okay in real life, there was already something wrong with them to begin with.
but no, you’ll pull out anything on earth to try and get your point across. from secondhand trauma to it just being offensive.
and i hate to be the one to tell you this but...all this crusading is doing basically nothing in the long run. you know what happened yesterday from being called out? i lost 9 followers.
and then i gained 20. and now im only 100 away from 16,000.
what did all of this achieve? what does any of this even do?
whenever you people do this what exactly is it you want? do you expect us to just...stop...because you don’t like it? are you really so self-centered and self-righteous that you think you’re THAT important. do you really believe your opinion and voice is the loudest and most important to consider?
because it really isn’t.
just as you’re sitting here telling me you’re wanting to protect people -- i’m wanting to help people. do you know how many people i’ve had thank me for making them feel better about their owwn fantasies that they’d previously been ashamed of because they’re a victim? or how many people thank me for providing the content they rely on to cope?
i’m gonna go ahead and say those are the people i want to help. those are the people i care about. and i don’t know what it’s gonna take for you people to understand that i will not stop until i DECIDE to.
this is the internet. none of your opinions or words have any long-lasting, realistic effect on me, my person, or my life. i could delete my blog and in a month nothing any of you have said to me over this course of time will have impacted me in the long term. of course, other people are more sensitive and can get hurt by this discourse.
but i don’t. i’m a lot more stubborn and thick-skinned than you people may seem to realize.
your words will continue to go in one ear and out the other. i know where i stand. i know where i want to remain.
your morality nor your opinions are blanket rules that everyone should abide by. get some perspective and learn your place in the world before speaking on things you clearly cannot understand.
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sokkisky · 3 years
Text
~i’m not your enemy part two~
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Want to make a request?: https://forms.gle/NyZgUcqkCPzHRvVn6
Discord: https://discord.gg/4H3m4vjMBZ
Rating: SFW (Fluff)
Pairings: Bakugou x Y/N 
Warnings: Light insults 
A/N: Guys, It’s been forever. I’m sooo sorry for forgetting about this cute little series but thank you for the reminders though! I have so many new requests coming up these next couple of days and this one was a little fresh but I NEEDED to write it, so sorry. Here is the request: 
part 2 of i’m not your enemy please 🥺
fr love bakugou and the story! i was just reading it through class cuz school is so boring lmao. anyways i hope u have a great day! take ur time, don’t want u to get stressed out! @meliam16
Soooo here we go! Big big thanks to @meliam16 for the request, thank you so much for reminding me about this cute little series. I hope I do good by your expectations. I hope you all take care of yourselves, be KIND to yourselves and treat yourself. You deserve it all. <3
“Move out of the way!” 
You turned horrified as a storm of ice flew towards you, and you were frozen in your place.
~~~
There was a noticeable change in your rivalry with Bakugou. 
He seemed less interested in calling you harsh names, he resided himself to the basics. 
“Dumbass” 
“Idiot” 
“Nerd” 
Simple stuff. No mean nicknames poking fun at your, long gone was he tripping you in the halls or shoving your stuff on the floor. He didn’t laugh at you when you failed, he didn’t taunt you when you sparred with him. It was weird. 
You were confused. 
What’s wrong with him? Are you guys cool now? Every time you think back to that night in his dorm your face bubbles with embarrassment. You can’t help but internally kick yourself for being so stupid. Focusing in class was almost impossible, you could almost feel his eyes on you. You knew he was staring but you wouldn’t dare turn around. 
You had to focus. A new partner training event was taking place today. Each of your classmates were to be paired up and made to fight against each other. Aizawa, tired of the bickering you and Bakugou used to have, decided that him always pairing you up was making things better between the two of you. 
Not to mention he made it a competition. 
You didn’t want to let Bakugou down. You knew he was super competitive and he’d be furious if the two of you lost. Especially since you were up against Deku and Todoroki. 
~~~
After class you all walked onto Beta training ground, the giant city. Aizawa took the rest of the class to the camera room, as you,  Bakugou, Todoroki, and Deku prepared yourselves. 
“Good luck!” Deku wished you as he walked past. You heard Bakugou scoff. You turned around and caught him as his arms were crossed and he looked towards the sky. “You’ll be eating those words when your head gets pummeled into the ground by me and my partner!” he scowled back taking his place. 
‘Me and my partner’. When has things ever been about anybody put him whenever he was in some kind of team. You brushed it off but it stayed in the back of your brain. 
What did he mean? 
You took your place as well preparing yourself. You took an offensive stance knowing Bakugou was going to go right in for the attack as soon as the bell rang. You glanced over at Bakugou. He glanced back mouthing ‘Don’t screw this up dumbass’. You rolled your eyes turning back ahead of you. 
~~~ 
You all were getting tired. 
The fight seemed to drag on and on and you all were getting tired. You and Bakugou had both taken on Todoroki and Deku separately. Of course Bakugou was going in on Deku leaving you with Todoroki. And you weren’t doing too hot. 
Your quirk works better at short distance attacks but Todoroki was trying to keep you at bay. Using his ice side to keep you long range. You were running out of stamina and losing your momentum. 
“Keep it together dumbass!” Bakugou shouted at you. You turned glancing at him before he shouted again. 
“Move out of the way!” 
You turned horrified as a storm of ice flew towards you, and you were frozen in your place.
You watched as the quick moving shards of ice flew at you, sharpened and pointed before a large explosion went off in front of you. 
Bakugou stood in front of you angrily blowing up the shards that flew at you, his body shielding yours. He breathed heavily as he panted, the dust clearing around him. A giant bell rung, signaling a tie. Bakugou looked up and scoffed, kicking a rock as he angrily walked away. 
You followed after him, running behind him. He had to be mad at you, there’s no way he wasn’t. You screwed up. “Bakugou! Baku wait!” you called, reaching for and grabbing his wrist. He pulled his hand away, glaring at you as he walked away. 
~~~
That night you stood in front of Bakugou’s door, spicy ramen in your hand. You knocked, not hearing an answer and turned the knob. Surprisingly it opened. You poked your head in and saw Bakugou staring up at the ceiling in the room. 
“Bakugou?” you asked. His eyes darted to you, he rolled his eyes and looked up again. “What do you want, dumbass?” he growled. You walked in, setting the ramen down on the night table beside him. “I got you some spicy ramen, and I wanted to say sorry about earlier. I didn’t mean to cost us the win.” you mumbled, staring at the ground. 
Bakugou got out of bed, standing in front of you. He grabbed your chin forcing you to look up at him. 
“I don’t give a crap about the win! You almost got yourself really hurt dumbass!” he shouted angrily. You looked at him, a mix of confusion and shock. He let you go turning his head. You felt a bit of relief and smiled a little. 
“Aw,” you teased, wrapping your arms around him, your head in his chest. “You care about me.” Bakugou didn’t hold you back but his face was red, his voice shakier than normal. “Shut it, tell anyone and I’ll kill you.” he mumbled. 
You giggled a little. 
“Of course.”
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narrie · 2 years
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What happened the 3rd time u were at the hospital 😭😭
i'm glad u asked ! so, it was the day my parents moved out of their old flat. it was a saturday and i had to work from like 10-14 (i used to do the eye exams for first aid classes on weekends, didn’t know that this day would end my career there) so i woke up early to help them in the morning.
first offense: i woke up, i put on some clothes, put my phone in my back pocket, and then went to the bathroom to pee - i think u can imagine what happened next<3 anyway i put it in rice and then carried on bc it was a busy day
second offense: there was a set of stairs leading up to my parents' front door and it was ofc raining on the day we had to walk back and forth between the moving truck and the flat so that those stairs were slippery as fuck and no one had the brilliant idea to lay smth down so that no one would slip - which ofc i did<3 i was carrying a box too which was a whole mess and everyone was outside by the moving truck so i thought i was just gonna die by myself. eventually ppl found me and i was in extreme pain and scared i broke my hip or sumn, so my sister drove me to the ER (i also had to tell work that i wasn't coming in which was a whole ordeal bc i didn't have a phone so i had no one's number). got called in pretty quickly which was lucky but i got a doc who immediately went "are u from iran" when he came in el oh el like i'm dying over here and this man wants to make conversation 😭 it was also extremely awkward to get my hips checked out by him afterwards but anyway . he looked at it etc and then went "well . it could be broken but there isn't much we could do about that anyway and ur a young woman so idk if we can/want to do an x-ray in that area bc it could be harmful to ur ovaries" great<3 he said he was gonna talk to the ladies in radiology and see what they say and then they did send me in and we got x-rays done but the ladies in there did make me feel VERY worried about never being able to have children 😭 anyway turned out it's not broken but def bruised and they just gave me some pain meds
third offense: around the evening hours the move was still a whole operation and they were running out of cleaning supplies so someone had the BRILLIANT idea to make me drive to the store to get stuff bc i couldn't really help otherwise. my cousin, thank god, accompanied me but she didn't have a driver's license then so i drove which was a huge mistake bc i was hurt for one but i also just had scrambled brain. my parents lived in a cul-de-sac and u had to turn left to get on the main road but there isn't a traffic light so u just gotta to wait till ya find a break in the stream which alwaysss took ages bc it's a main road. we were sitting there for like 10 min already and i couldn't take it anymore, so i wanted to reverse and take an alternative road and ofc i didn't check if anyone's behind me before i did so bc why would i do such a logical thing<3 so i hit the car behind me and the guy was ofc furious and started yelling at me etc and i just BROKE 😭 i started sobbing like crazy, like it was really too much for me, and i was like "i'm so sorry i've had a DAY" and just started ranting and showing him my hospital wrist band that i still had on and i think i scared him bc he was like "hey listen it's actually not that bad, i think it's just my license plate that got dented, i'll take it off tomorrow and see if the car underneath it was damaged, so just give me ur number and u'll get a call from me tomorrow" which was very nice but made me sob again bc i didn't have a phone BDKJDMDDBDN my cousin gave him my sister's number and he did call the next day and told my sister there was no damage so we could just forget about it (however, the next day my sister and her husband drove to the old place for the VERY last time and she got into a huge accident while driving out of that cul-de-sac like what are the ODDS)
fourth offense which wasn't a personal offense but still adds to this day: we all managed to make it to the new place and it was around 10pm when we were finally done for the day. my dad and my cousin were outside to take the trash out or sumn and the others said their goodbyes and went ahead to open the front door to leave - but it would not budge. the keys weren't able to unlock the door and we were all stuck inside, my dad couldn't open it from the other side either so after 40 min or so of trying everything we decided to call a locksmith. he got there 1h later but could not do shit so that was useless<3 in the end we figured out that u could open the windows in the hallway outside the flat and inside the flat (they're at a 90 degree angle, idk how else to explain it BDNSNSM) and then jump over - problem is that my parents live on the first (or second depending on where u live lmao) floor so it was quite a fall if u slipped 🤪 i do not recommend this to anyone and it was very dangerous but everyone did make it to the other side alive and my dad got back inside lmao the next morning my parents' landlord came over and they had to forcefully break the door in the end and my parents didn't have a working door for a week, the end<3
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thegeminisage · 2 years
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ms liz, my sister is considering buying me a switch for christmas, so was contemplating games for the Switch because I'm very hesitant to get a game system but only have interest in like 2 or 3 games (I say, aggressively not looking at the decade old psp on my bookcase)
anyways, my question is: I very much love Pokémon, but I've only ever beaten the original Sapphire (and have like 4-5 other ones). I've seen you talk about Pokémon Snap, thats the photography one right? I tend to get overwhelmed by how much there is to do in the games, is Pokémon Snap like that too? are there any other games you would recommend?
and if I can make a recommendation of my own, I recently played a game named Carto on the pc and found out its on switch as well, it was very cute and fun, its rather short too, 7-8 hours but I beat it in under 7.
Have a nice day!! 🌻🌻🌻
HELLO beloved sorry it took me so long to answer u, i've been working all day, but congrats on the switch!!! one of the Most consoles of all time. apologizes in advance bc my answer got a lt longer than i meant for it to. ur not obligated to read it all LOL i have a tldr at the bottom. adhd makes me talk a lot, but it also makes me allergic to long chains of text so i understand & won't take any offense, promise.
first of all, feel NO shame about the psp. you are completely valid and that was a MONEY GRABBING FAILURE to capitalize on nintendo's success with the DS. i used mine as a glorified mp3 player that also happened to have the disc for the movie spiderman 2 in it, so i feel you. we don't judge here. think of it as a collector's item. an antique. like having a virtual boy that won't attempt to kill you in your sleep.
secondly, i feel that way a lot of times when i get a new console, like it's not worth buying just for one game, but the truth is gradually new ones will catch your interest. (also, if you check out the store once in awhile, you can sometimes find stuff on sale for $5 or less, especially indie games, and if you download your big full-price games digitally you will get "coins" which you can use to take some off the price, so it can drop to nothing - i got a 2D galaga-styled shooter called super bit blaster XL for less than a dollar, and even though it's very simple i still killed 5-6 hours on it before i finished unlocking all the ships; well worth the cash.) if you have an opportunity to grab a switch you definitely should because shortages make that difficult rn - if you change your mind later you can always resell it for most of that money back, but otherwise if you enjoy gaming it's a great investment, bc many of the games will eventually get cheaper
re: pkmn snap - i think it's a lot more streamlined than the main pokemon games. i struggle to complete those because even though i love the pokemon and the worldbuilding i find the battle mechanics get monotonous - either too grindy or too easy (so i hope you werent looking for pokemon recs and if u were im sorry lol). pokemon snap on the other hand is basically a "rail shooter," in that you can travel one of a few pre-determined paths and just take photos along the way. pretty simple, but there's a lot of replay value in getting different poses and manipulating your surroundings to see different guys to take pics of, and it's nice to be able to interact with them without having to fight them (i always felt a little bad about asking them to battle). there's a LOT of particular requests that pop up (like, take a picture of a certain guy in a certain pose), but you're free to completely ignore them if you want to. i really adored pokemon snap, so i think if you're a pokemon fan you really will too.
i confess i don't know about getting overwhelmed with how much there is to do...imo, the more there is to do, the longer you can spend playing the game and getting your money's worth - if it's in sidequests you don't HAVE to do any of it, and maybe it would help to think of it that way! or maybe you just like something with more guidance where you don't have to make as many decisions? either way, a few recommendations!! idk what games you've played previously or what you like (i'm just going off of dislike of pokemon/like of carto, which seems neat btw!) so i'm gonna list a LOT of stuff, hence it goes under a cut. (if this list turns out to be way too long for you to read you can come back w/ more details for a more personalized reclist lol. i LOOOOVE reccing people games it's not a bother i promise. i have a short list at the end just in case!)
for puzzle games: try tetris effect or lumines (pronounced lue min ESS). both are "immersive" with stimulating graphics/sounds that are supposed to help u block out the rest of the world & get sucked in. if you like competitive online play, tetris 99 and pacman 99 are both free with nintendo online membership
for a relaxing sim game, try animal crossing or stardew valley. both have a TON of stuff to do but almost none of it is missable and they're both generally very chill (though i personally enjoyed stardew much more on the pc where i could use a mod to slow the passage of time in-game - it depends on how good of a pc you have.) stardew valley offers more guidance than animal crossing, i think, but with animal crossing it's very easy to literally just get on there and fuck around and do nothing - eventually, in your routine of daily tasks (watering your flowers, talking to your neighbors, etc) something to do will just spontaneously throw itself in your path.
if you like more streamlined experiences and don't mind fast gameplay that needs a bit of reflexes, mario kart might be a good choice. it's a racing game but there's no big overworld or anything to tackle, just race after race until you're done. similarly, smash bros - there is technically an overworld involved in unlocking characters, but if you like fighting it's just a bunch of different matchups. both also have multiplayer modes!
also, if you don't mind difficult gameplay/dying a lot, ori and the blind forest and shovel knight are both on switch, along with (i think) the various sequels. they're "metroidvania" style games that involve a lot of map-checking and backtracking and they're hard as FUCK (shovel knight kicked my ass) but generally there's not too many sidequests involved. tbh i do not like being frustrated when i play games so i did not Love shovel knight but it is fun and you can be a gay and trans if you want to. i haven't played ori but i've watched a playthrough and the story is really good and the music is to die for
if you want an adventure game without a big open (overwhelming) world, the zelda games will probably be more your speed. there's generally a good balance of exploration/fighting/puzzle-solving, and they aren't terribly difficult, but aside from the newest one (breath of the wild) they're generally pretty linear and good about telling you what to do next. skyward sword is available on the switch and it's the first one chronologically so you could maybe start there if you wanted the full 3D home console experience (and it's sort of infamous for being a very linear and streamlined experience, for better or worse). if you want something a little less complex you can try link's awakening, since it has a more simple top-down perspective (like pokemon) - the graphics are really cute too, a little like carto. link's awakening involves more aimless exploration but skyward sword might be a litle more difficult to play - some people find the motion controls frustrating there's also a zelda rhythm game called cadence of hyrule which i loved, but it might hit harder if you've already played a game or two. if you like zelda, you may also like okami - it's an adventure game heavily inspired by the zelda gameplay mechanics that employs japanese folklore in the setting/story
if you like "simple" (read: older) games, you can pay $20 a year for a nintendo online membership (criminally low compared to competitors) to get access to emulated nes and snes games. the basic membership with the n64 games i wouldn't pay for unless you're just dying to play some of the games on the list - it's too expensive and the ports are bad - but the nes and snes ports work really well and you can play the original legend of zelda on the nes and a link to the past on snes. there's also a ton of other little games and classics included, like mario, donkey kong, kirby, kid icarus, starfox, ice climbers, ballon fight, yoshi's island, etc.
nintendo's star franchise is obviously mario - i haven't played mario odyssey, but i can vouch for super mario world + bowser's fury. it's a two-game bundle, and while you may find bowser's fury too open (it's a small world that opens up bit by bit, but it is something you have to run around in), 3D world is a very guided experience where you just do one stage after another. new super mario bros u is another one-stage-at-a-time mario game - i played that one when it came out & loved it (though in 3D you can run around freely, and i think super mario U is limited to the x and y axis - it depends on ur preference). to my knowledge oth have co-op modes so you can play with your sister or whoever else is around! mario + rabbids is also great - it's a strategy game, which are normally not my speed, but it was made with so much love i couldn't not enjoy it. again, a very linear experience! also, i cannot vouch for it personally, but i hear the newest mario party game is VERY good - they're essentially board games that have minigames included. if you have friends or relatives to play with it is a riotous time, assuming none of you declare open warfare on one another. (i also hear paper mario origami king is very good, but i haven't played a paper mario in years so i can't vouch for it personally either. it does seem to have rpg elements though!)
and finally, rpgs themselves! i don't know what you've played or what other stuff you've had access to, but a lot of classic rpgs have been ported to the switch. no, they aren't the best, smoothest ports - most of them were designed for the playstation consoles - but if you don't have another way to play them and it's your first time, you probably won't notice the difference, and it's a great way to get classics under your belt. pokemon games are technically rpgs, so gameplaywise they're in the same ballpark, but final fantasy games for example tend to have a strong story/character development angle. ff7, ff8, ff9, ff10/10-2, ff12, and the trilogy of ff13 (my personal fav, and it's a VERY linear experience w/ few sidequests) have all been ported! kingdom hearts is there too if you don't mind something extremely stupid that's going to be a huge timesink. and, of course, the MOTHER of all indie rpgs, undertale, is on the switch. short, linear, hilarious, heartwarming, with a huge replay value and it's one of the best games ever made - there's also deltarune, which is COMPLETELY FREE, another game in the series, and just as good (but only the first 2 chapters are out; we'll be asked to cough up some cash when the whole game is ready).
oh, and one last thing...katamari damacy isn't an rpg, but it's another famous game that got ported to the switch and it's great. very linear, extremely fucking weird/"quirky" and funny! if you like weird games you might also like "untitled goose game" which is another riot.
okay, that's everything i can think of. HERE'S THE SHORTLIST of games i think you're most likely to enjoy, in no particular order: animal crossing, link's awakening and/or skyward sword, nes/snes online (particularly dr mario), katamari damacy, new super mario bros U and/or 3D world, okami, undertale & deltarune, and final fantasy xiii (though i'm a little biased on that last point). and, of course, pokemon snap <3
sorry, that got a lot longer than i meant for it to...at any rate, i hope you get that switch and have a lot of fun on it! the AAA games get the most attention but as you can see the library is literally So Huge!!!
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hyuniepot · 3 years
Text
the butterfly effect. || chapter 6
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chapter word count || 5,372
genre || thriller, angst, drama
members || mark lee, na jaemin, lee jeno, huang renjun, lee donghyuck, zhong chenle, park jisung
warnings || mentions of death, implications of depression
pairing || fem!reader x jaemin || slight fem!reader x mark
synopsis || you never thought you’d be able to play with fate so easily, especially not through some shady app. but you suddenly must say goodbye to what you know and hello to a new world where everything seems perfect.
taglist || @gothboyjisung​ @jeongyoonohs @doiewonu @huanginjoon​ @wordsgodeep @colpen
previous chapter
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You woke up way later than usual. You were still in the clothes you wore yesterday. You immediately got up and showered, changing into a new pair of clothes.
You woke up way later than usual. You were still in the clothes you wore yesterday. You immediately got up and showered, changing into a new pair of clothes.
You woke up way later than usual. You were still in the clothes you wore yesterday. You immediately got up and showered, changing into a new pair of clothes.
When you were done, you checked your phone.
Mark
hey, when do u wanna hang out?
you can come over here if u want.
or whatever. its fine
oh, you probably aren’t awake yet….
lol. let me know when ur awake.
You smile.
You
hey im awake now
i can come over to ur place, is any time fine?
i just gotta get ready and stuff
You set your phone down and look at yourself in the mirror, continuing to dry your hair. You know you still had to make your final decision on whether you were going to leave or not. Your mind couldn’t make a decision. There were pros and cons to doing both.
If you were to go back, you’d return to a life with no Mark and a Jisung who isn’t happy. But you’d have Hyuck. You’d have Jaemin, and Jeno and Renjun. You’d have your old friends back. You could use what you learned here to fix your life.
But Mark. He was the only thing stopping you. You wanted to take him along with you but you knew it was impossible. You just couldn’t imagine leaving him again when you had spent so long yearning for him to be back.
You jump at the sound of your phone dinging.
Mark
yea, come on over. i’ll be here all day hahah
You
got it. i’ll be there soon
You then clicked on Hyuck’s name to text him.
You
i know this is annoying but please give me the time i need. i’ll let you know tonight what my decision is.
You turned your phone off, grabbing your camera and putting it in your new bag. Jisung was in his room so you gently knock and wait for a response.
Jisung opens the door. “Hey.”
“Hey,” you respond. “I’m gonna go to Mark’s today, are you gonna be okay here alone?”
Your mother’s workload had definitely decreased, but she still worked long hours. You only got to see her in the mornings before school.
Jisung nods. “Yep, that’s fine.”
“Okay.” you exhale. “I’ll see you later, then.”
He nods, and you turn away and head downstairs. You make your way outside and start your journey to Mark’s house. Luckily, you had gone there once since you showed up, so you knew your way.
Everything was still so familiar. Of course it was; this was the town you grew up in after all. And that’s why it was so hard to differentiate from your old life sometimes. Everything still felt right at times.
You were glad Mark didn’t live too far away. You spotted him outside, sitting on one of the concrete stairs that lead to the porch. His face lights up when he spots you, getting up and making his way to you.
“What’s up?” he smiles.
“Nothing,” you reply. “What’s the plan for today?” you both continue making your way to his house.
“I don’t have anything planned, really…” he says, scratching his head. “We just chill for a bit and then figure out something if you want.”
You nod, going up the stairs to his porch. He opens the door, letting you in. You follow him up to his room, suddenly feeling nervous. You hadn’t been alone with Mark like this. You barely even knew how to be around him without feeling awestruck.
He opens the door to his room and it hits you. It was so perfectly… him. It was just what you expected, what you always imagined it would look like. An acoustic guitar stood in the corner of his room, bed haphazardly made. A record player was set up on the left side, the records he owned displayed on a nearby shelf. Posters of all different subjects were taped on the wall, some personal photos mixed in. You spotted one of you and Mark as children, one of the photos you always looked at when you missed him.
It hurt to look at everything. But you had to force your emotions aside.
“Yeah, had to switch up the old room,” he says, putting his hands in his pockets. “I think this looks way cooler.”
You nod. “It looks great.” your voice is barely audible. You couldn’t take your eyes off the photos on the wall.
“Oh,” Mark notices you staring at the wall. He walks to where his bed is, squatting down and pulling a book out from under it. “I found a whole photo album of old photos.” he says. He motions you to come sit down next to him, and you oblige.
He opens it. The first few pages were photos of him as a baby, but it quickly changed to photos of him as a kid. It didn’t take long for you to appear. You had seen them all before, but it was still nice to look at them. There were even pictures from your trip to the butterfly enclosure, an unsure look plastered across your face. Mark was beaming.
“Do you remember this?” Mark puts his finger on an old photo of you and him at a fair — huge grins on both of your faces. He laughs. “We rode a ride and I swore I was gonna get sick after it. You were so freaked out by it that you avoided me until I convinced you I felt better.”
You laugh. You did remember it. You remembered running away from him and staying at least 10 feet away until you finally gave in.
He turns a few pages. It was time to look at photos that you had never seen, stories that you had never heard, the things that could have been. You just tried to keep your breathing steady.
There’s a picture of you and him together in somewhat formal clothing — probably your first highschool dance. Hyuck and another boy you didn’t recognize stood behind you, giving both you and Mark bunny ears.
“You remember Johnny, right?”
That must have been the other boy. You just nodded. Of course, you had no idea who he was.
“He moved here when we were like 12, right?” he looks at the photo. “I miss him. I don’t get to talk to him a lot because he travels so he’s always in a different timezone but… when I do, it’s like he never left.” he adds.
You wrack your brain — did you ever know anyone named Johnny? You were sure you didn’t. He didn’t exist in your old life. But he had somehow been a part of your life in this universe at some point. He was visibly older — not by too much, but he was definitely more mature. It didn’t help that Mark had a baby face. He had brown, medium length hair that was kind of shaggy. He seemed charming. But since there was no sign of him in your phone, you assumed you didn’t keep in touch with him.
Mark flips the pages a few more times. There’s a picture of you, Mark, and Hyuck on what seemed to be your last halloween together. You couldn’t exactly pinpoint when, but you were probably 14 or 15. You were dressed up as Belle from Beauty and the Beast. Hyuck was dressed as the beast and Mark was dressed as Lumière, the candlestick.
You look at the girl in those photos. You wished you had her brain; You wished you remembered everything the way she did. Looking at yourself in the photos didn’t feel right. No matter what you did, you couldn’t convince yourself that it was you. Because technically, it wasn’t. Where was that girl now? Was she living your old life? Spending her days with Jaemin, desperately wishing for Mark?
“Are you okay?” you snap back to reality at the sound of Mark’s voice. He had closed the book and was looking at you with a concerned look on his face.
You let out an awkward chuckle. “Oh… yeah. I’m fine… I just kinda zoned out.”
“Yeah… you’ve been doing that a lot lately…” Mark stands up and slides the book back under his bed. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
You don’t want to reply. Your eyes start burning with tears.
“Yeah,” you reply softly.
“That’s why I wanted to hang out with you today. You’ve seemed so… off lately… No offense,” Mark sits back down and looks at you. “I don’t mean that in a mean way, I just mean… it seems like something is bothering you and… are you crying?”
Tears finally escape your eyes, cascading down your cheeks. You stay silent as Mark wraps his arms around you, tightly hugging you.
“Oh god, oh no… I didn’t mean to make you cry. I’m sorry.” Mark says.
You can’t help but smile as you cry into his chest. “No… it’s not your fault…”
He pulls away from the hug. “Is something actually wrong? You know you can talk to me… I heard bottling up your emotions isn’t healthy…”
You take your time collecting yourself to try and think of an excuse. Obviously you couldn’t tell him the real reason why you seemed so out of it -- oh yeah, Mark, I’m from a universe where you died and I ended up here because I used some app to wish for you back and I have literally no idea what’s going on half the time.
“I’m just stressed,” you tell him. “I’ve never been this stressed so I don’t really know how to deal with it.”
“Ah…” Mark nods. “I get it… I mean, we’re in our last year of school. Everyone’s gonna expect us to act like adults soon. It’s… scary.”
You nod, wiping your tears. I wish that was what I was stressed about.
And that’s when it clicks. You realize you don’t belong here. You were destined to live in a world without Mark. But that thought only makes you start crying again.
Mark hugs you again. “It’s okay,” he whispers. “Just let it out, okay?”
So you do. You let everything out. Your shoulders shake as you sob. To anyone, it would seem like you’re overreacting. Sobbing in your best friend’s arms because you’re stressed. But this was the one thing you felt like could make you feel better.
For years, you laid in your bed alone, sobbing because you missed Mark. Because you felt guilty. And if you weren’t crying over him, you wished he was there to comfort you. And now it finally happened, and you were gonna relish the moment. This was all you ever wanted.
You feel guilty — Mark just wanted to hang out and here you were, making him comfort you as you cried for God knows what.
You force yourself to stop crying. Mark lets you go and levels himself with you, wiping your face with his thumb. “Why didn’t you tell me?” he asks. “We’re best friends… you can tell me anything, y’know?”
You nod. “I know… I just… didn’t want to bother anyone.”
Mark furrows his brows. “Hey come on, don’t say that. You wouldn’t be bothering anyone. Don’t think like that.”
You hiccup. You could feel that your face was puffy from crying.
“Okay,” Mark stands up. “I think this calls for some relaxation, right? I’m gonna get a bunch of blankets and we’re just gonna lounge.” He grabs a spare blanket and wraps it around your shoulders, helping you stand up. He leads you to his basement. There was a large couch and a TV. You sit down.
“Do you wanna watch a movie?” he asks.
You nod. “Yeah, that’s fine.”
Mark turns the TV on. “Okay. I’ll find something for us to watch. Get comfortable, okay?”
You scoot around for a bit before finding a comfortable spot. The crying you did made your eyelids heavy.
Mark joins you on the couch, clicking through the TV guide, searching for something to watch. He clicks on a movie before opening his arms. “Come here.”
Maybe it wasn’t right, but you let him hold you. You listen to his heartbeat, trying to keep yourself awake until you couldn’t fight it anymore.
[4:27 p.m.]
Your eyes flutter open. You glance around, taking in your surroundings and remembering you were in Mark’s basement. You realize you were still in his arms. You quickly sit up, making Mark jolt awake.
“Oh shit,” he says, sitting up and rubbing his eyes. “Did we both fall asleep?” he chuckles.
You smile. “Yeah… looks like it.” You stretch your muscles. “Did you get to watch any of movie?”
“Nope.” Mark replies. “I think I fell asleep right after I realized you had,” he says softly.
You groan. “What time is it? We didn’t sleep through the day, did we?” you ask, suddenly nervous.
Mark pulls out his phone to check the time. He shakes his head. “Nope. Only about two and a half hours.”
You sigh in relief. It was still a long time, but at least it was still daytime. “Oh, good.”
“Do you wanna go get some food? We should probably get up so we don’t fall asleep again,” he laughs.
You smile. “Good idea.”
You both make your way upstairs and you retrieve your bag from Mark’s room before leaving the house. The weather, like yesterday, was nice. A light breeze blew, but it wasn’t cold thanks to the sun. You could hear children playing in a yard nearby. You and Mark made your way to a restaurant nearby. It was one that you didn’t recognize. It was a bit retro-themed and was decorated like a classic diner.
You and Mark sit down at a booth, looking at the menu. “We haven’t been to this place in forever… they got a bunch of new menu items.” Mark mumbles.
You look at the menu. It had all kinds of different types of burgers, but most importantly, milkshakes.
Mark gasped. “They got rid of the cookies ‘n cream milkshake? Are you kidding me?” he whines.
You laugh. “Really? That has to be a popular flavor.”
“Right? It’s so good too, I order it everytime. So why would they — oh, nevermind… they just rebranded it…” Mark says softly, hiding his face with the menu.
Your eyes find their way to the milkshakes; they had simply changed the name of the milkshake from Cookies ‘N Cream to Oreo. You giggle. “Dork.”
“Hey, come on! I was panicked, alright?” Mark laughs.
A waitress swings by and takes your orders — you just order a classic burger and fries with a milkshake with your favorite ice cream flavor.
You feel your phone buzz in your pocket. You pull it out to see who’s calling. It’s Hyuck. “Um,” you swallow hard. “I’m gonna go wash my hands real quick.” you tell Mark.
He nods. “Alright.”
You get up from the booth and quickly walk to the bathroom. You close the door behind you, praying that it was empty. “Hello?”
“God, took you long enough.” Hyuck mutters.
“Why’d you call?” you sigh.
“Because I think we need to actually talk about this… I mean, if you decide to leave, I need to be able to tell you when to send the message.” he replies.
You roll your eyes. “I told you I would let you know later. I’m with Mark right now.”
“Are you serious?”
You pause. It’s deathly quiet. You can feel Hyuck’s anger through the phone. “He wanted to hang out, he asked me last night when he dropped me off… did you really think I’d say no?”
“You should’ve,” he sighs. “You know you’re only making it harder on yourself.”
You knew he was right. “I just… wanted to make some final memories before possibly leaving,” you tell him.
“I… understand.” Hyuck adds quietly. You hear him sigh. “You know this is hard on me too, right? I’m sorry I keep being so pushy but… I just wanna get out of here.”
It’s silent again. For the first time, you realize you never even thought about how Hyuck felt. You knew he missed Mark just as much as you did.
“That’s why I’ve been kinda distancing myself from him. Because the first day we were here, it was hell. All I could think about was that day… it’s all I can think about.” he says. You can barely hear him.
“Hyuck…” you whisper.
“Being here… with him… it’s too much for me to handle. You don’t think I feel the same way? I know this is a universe where we could both be happy with Mark, but something keeps telling me I can’t stay here. Too much has changed. I can’t be comfortable here.” Hyuck’s voice starts trembling. “Which is why I refused to spend any time with Mark. Because he’s the only reason I want to stay. But I miss my old life. I miss my friends. I don’t know what the hell went wrong here, but my life is just so much shittier here. Everything that could’ve gone wrong feels like it went wrong.” he rants.
You feel so much guilt for not taking the time to think about why he’d want to leave. You spent so much time thinking about yourself and Mark because you knew you’d always have Hyuck.
“Not even Mark makes staying worth it.” he spits. You can’t tell if he’s angry or sad; it’s probably both. “We were so stupid for coming here,” he finally chuckles, although you can tell it isn’t from happiness. “We were so fucking stupid.”
“I know,” you reply softly.
“I’m sorry. Call me later, okay?”
He hangs up before you can say anything. You slowly put your phone down and shove it back into your pocket. You want to cry, but you’ve already spent too much time in here. You rush out of the bathroom, and instantly run into someone.
“I’m sorry,” you say, looking up at the person. Your heart almost stops.
“No worries,” Jaemin says, flashing you a polite smile.
Your heart starts pounding. You try to tell yourself to stop staring at him, but this was the first time you’ve seen him since coming here. He doesn’t look too different — hair is darker now but everything is the same. The same eyes you fell in love with. The smile that gave you butterflies in your stomach. He’s dressed in normal clothes, so that meant he was probably eating here alongside you and Mark.
You want to lunge towards him, hugging him so tightly he could never leave you again. But you finally just nodded and forced your legs to walk past him; they had started trembling and you weren’t sure how much longer you could stand there. You were glad Mark’s back was to you. You sat back down at your seat, your hands now trembling
“Everything okay?” Mark asks.
You nod. You clear your throat. “Yeah… uh, sorry I took so long. My mom called while I was in there.”
“Oh, okay.” Mark takes a sip of his milkshake that had been set on the table while you were gone. “You’re not in trouble or anything, right?” he asks, eyes widening.
You smile. “No.”
“Okay, good! I wouldn’t want you to get in trouble for hanging out with me or something…” Mark says.
You stir your milkshake with your straw. You weren’t feeling very hungry anymore, but after the first sip, it was too delicious to stop.
“(y/n)!” you hear a voice calling your name. You turn your head towards the direction it’s coming from.
Naeun walks to your table. “I didn’t even see you here! What’s up?” she smiles.
“Oh… nothing.” you reply, forcing a smile in return. “Me and Mark are just hanging out and we were hungry, so here we are.” you tell her.
“Of course. Partners in crime. Hi, Mark.” Naeun responds. “Jaemin brought me here. Can you believe I’ve never been here before? This place has been up for years and I’ve never had the chance.” she pouts.
“Really?” Mark speaks up. “You gotta try their milkshakes, they’re delicious.” he tells her.
Naeun chuckles. “Will do. What flavor did you get? It looks good.” she asks.
“Oh! Cookies ‘n cream. It’s my favorite.” he replies, smiling.
“That’s a good flavor.” You hear Jaemin before you see him. Why is he talking about ice cream? He can’t even eat dairy. You think.
“How would you know?” Naeun teases, as if she was a mind reader. “You can’t have ice cream.”
Jaemin enters your line of sight, wrapping an arm around Naeun’s shoulders. It feels like a gunshot to your chest. “Well, I’m not supposed to have it. But these milkshakes make all the pain worth it.” he jokes.
Mark laughs. “He’s right though. How’s it going, Jaemin? I haven’t seen you in forever.”
Jaemin grins. “I’m doing good. School has been way harder lately, but…”
“Yeah, I would assume so. I can’t believe you got into that school, no offense…”
Jaemin chuckles. “None taken. I was surprised I got in, too. I just wish they had accepted me earlier so I wouldn’t have had to leave halfway through a school year. But, I come back here and visit almost every weekend, so…”
Watching Mark and Jaemin talk felt weird. You didn’t even know they knew each other. That also answered your question as to why you never saw Jaemin at school. You wonder what school he had been accepted to.
“Oh, how rude of me. Hey, (y/n). How are you?” Jaemin turns his attention to you. “I was gonna talk to you earlier but you ran away from me.” he laughs. “I didn’t even realize it was you until you were gone.”
“Sorry…” you say softly. “Um… I didn’t realize it was you either.”
You can feel Jaemin’s eyes piercing into you. You didn’t want to look at him. You couldn’t.
“Well, I’d love to hang out with you guys, but after we eat I have to drive Jaemin back home… maybe we could all hang out another time? Double dates, maybe?” she says, grinning.
“Date?” Mark asks, furrowing his brows. “I mean… yeah, we can hangout but…” he laughs awkwardly.
“I’m teasing,” she says, glancing at you. “Both of you get so defensive!” she jokes. “Not trying to pressure you guys, but you’d be really cute together.” she presses.
“Okay, Naeun, enough,” Jaemin chuckles. “Mark’s gonna explode if you keep going.”
You look at Mark, whose face was red from embarrassment.
“We’ll see you guys later then,” Naeun says. The couple walk away from your table, Jaemin’s arm still around her. Your throat gets tight.
“Gosh…” Mark giggles. “Sorry. Stuff like that just gets me embarrassed,” he says, shaking his head.
You smile. “It’s okay.”
A waitress comes to the table a few moments later and sets the food you ordered on the table. Your appetite had come back. Seeing the food made you realize how hungry you really were.
Mark takes a bite of his burger. “I swear this place always hits the spot,” he says.
He was right. The food was really good. You were actually kind of mad this restaurant didn’t exist in your universe. It was perfect.
“Are you okay?” Mark asks. It’s so sudden, your first response is to just stare at him with wide eyes.
You swallow your food. “Yeah, why?”
Mark shrugs. “I just wanted to check in. You kinda froze up when Naeun and Jaemin were talking to us.” he says softly.
“Oh…” you set your burger down. “I was feeling kind of awkward because I ran into Jaemin when I left the bathroom. And then I ran away from him,” you laugh.
“Ah,” Mark nods. “I see.”
“Yeah… I’m kind of good at that. Making everything awkward.” you chuckle.
“Oh, shush.” Mark laughs. “Have you ever met me?”
You giggle. “Okay, well… if you’re the most awkward person on the planet, then I’m the close second.” you tell him.
“And that’s why we make such a good pair.” he replies.
Why did you feel so guilty every time you remembered how much you loved Jaemin?
You both finished your meals; Mark, of course, offered to pay for everything. Then you both left the restaurant. The sun was beginning to set.
“Ooh, wait,” you tell Mark, pulling your camera from your bag. He stops to look at you. “Let me take a picture of you here,” you say, pointing to one of the neon signs in the window.
Mark gets in front of it and poses, and you snap the photo. You both watch as it develops. “Perfect.” you show it to Mark.
You decide to head back to Mark’s house to hang out for a few more hours. As the sun set, the city was becoming less crowded. You passed children riding their bikes back home, people arriving home from work. Everything felt so normal, once again.
“Hey,” Mark says as you reach his room. “Check this out.” he grabs his guitar. “I finally learned how to play this song,”
“Hmm?” you lounge on his bed. “What song?”
He strums his guitar. You could already tell how good he had gotten at it; you only got the chance to hear him play twice before he died.
You recognize the song instantly — I’m Yours by Jason Mraz. It brings a smile to your face. Mark sings along softly. You realize his singing voice has gotten better as well.
You listen to him sing and shift to your side, propping yourself up with your elbow and resting your head on your hand. He’s completely immersed in the music. He looks so happy. You slowly retrieve your bag and take a photo of him.
He stops. “Oh… sorry. I kinda got preoccupied there,” he laughs.
“No, it’s okay…” you reply, feeling guilty for pulling him out of his music-induced-daze. “I was enjoying it.”
“Really?” Mark taps the strings of his guitar. “Well… I’ll finish the song then.” he continues strumming, taking a few moments to find where he left off.
You watch him, a soft smile on your face. This was a moment you definitely wanted to savor. If you were going to forget your time here, you at least wanted to remember this. It was beautiful. It was Mark.
[10:45 p.m.]
Mark offered to walk you home before it got too late — he had forgotten that it was a school night for him.
“Are you sure your mom won’t be mad?” Mark asks, nervously.
You laugh. “Once again, no. If she was worried about me we’d see flyers on the telephone poles,” you joke.
Mark chuckles. “Okay… I just don’t wanna get you in trouble for keeping you out so late. I lost track of time, to be honest…”
You nod. “Me too.” You had spent hours listening to Mark play his guitar and he tried to help you learn a song, but you weren’t as musically gifted as him, so it didn’t go very well. But Mark acted as if you were the God of Guitar, cheering when you played a few chords.
“Today was really fun.” he says softly. “If you ever wanna do this to… unwind… or whatever… just let me know.”
You smile. “Of course.”
Your heart drops as your house comes into view. It was your last few moments with Mark.
He walks you to your doorstep this time; he usually just walks to your driveway. It’s almost as if he knows. “Well,” Mark says, sighing. “We’re here.”
You grin, trying to mask your sadness. “Yeah… thanks for today. It was really fun!” you say.
Mark stares at you for a moment. “Um…” his eyes dart around, not sure where to look. “I…”
You watch him as he struggles to form a sentence. “Mark?” you ask softly.
He closes his mouth before closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. “I just had a lot of fun today.” he says.
You nod slowly. What did he really want to say? “Hurry and go home,” you tell him. “I don’t need you being all tired tomorrow.” your voice is barely above a whisper.
Mark stares at you for a few moments more. “You’re right,” he laughs, shaking his head. “I’m tired already… I’ll probably sleep like a baby when I get home.” Whatever tension was there had disappeared. In a spur-of-a-moment decision, you wrap your arms around him, hugging him tightly.
“Text me when you get home, okay?” you tell him. Your head is against his chest; You can hear his heart beating.
“Of course,” he breathes. He finally wraps his arms around you. “Are… you okay?” he asks again.
You feel tears rushing to your eyes again. You chuckle. “I’m fine. I just… I love you.” you whisper. “You’re my best friend, okay? And… I need you to know that.”
He rubs your back. “I love you too,” he replies. “I’m so glad to know you.” he says.
You let him go. You knew you had to.
“Well… I’ll see you tomorrow.” Mark says.
You nod. “I’ll see you.”
You knew it was a lie, but only on your end. He’d see you. You wouldn’t be seeing him. But you knew what you were doing was right. Mark starts walking away, giving you one final smile before he was out of sight.
You push your front door open, going straight to your room and letting yourself cry. You let all of your emotions out. You wanted to run to Mark and hug him again and you never wanted to let go.
You finally pulled yourself together when you heard a faint knock on your door. You wipe your eyes and face quickly, although you knew your face would be puffy from crying. “Come in.”
Jisung peeks in. “Are you okay?”
You nod, although it’s unconvincing — his simple question makes you cry more. “I’m fine.”
“Why are you crying?” Jisung opens the door completely and enters, sitting next to you on your bed. “Did something happen?”
You shake your head. “No. I’m not sad,” you lie. “I’m just… feeling a lot of emotions right now.”
Jisung furrows his brows. “But… you seem sad.”
You take a deep breath. “I’m not, bud. I’m fine. Nothing happened between me and Mark, if that’s what you’re asking. I guess I’m just feeling… thankful. For Mark, and you, and all my friends.”
“Oh…” you can tell Jisung is still confused, but he shrugs it off. “Well… I guess as long as you aren’t sad, it’s okay.”
You feel him wrap and arm around you. You hug him back, feeling much more relieved now that you had cried a bit more.
“I’m going to bed now,” Jisung says, removing his arm from around your shoulders. “Are you sure you’re okay…?”
You nod. “I’m okay, really. Go to bed. Don’t stay up late because of me.” you tell him. He should’ve been in bed already… you realize.
Jisung nods. “Okay. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“I love you, Jisung.”
He seems taken aback by your words. You don’t blame him — no matter what, telling your sibling you love them still feels awkward.
“Love you too.”
He leaves your room. You pick up your bag from where you had placed it when you got to your room and retrieved your camera. You collect all the photos you had taken. The one of Jisung in the kitchen, him talking to Mark, Mark and his ice cream, everyone outside of the ice cream parlor, him outside of the restaurant, him playing his guitar, and finally, the photo Hyuck had taken of you. You shove them in your pocket, praying that they would return to the correct universe with you.
You lay down on your bed, completely exhausted. You just want to fall asleep, but you know you can’t. You pull out your phone, going to your messages and clicking on Hyuck’s name.
You
let me know when you’re ready.
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pocmuzings · 3 years
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hi g! i am an admin of an rp and i really strive to make it as inclusive as possible so muns of all fcs feel welcome. i'm curious to know, when you are looking for an rp what do you look for in terms of admins making it inclusive? this isn't meant to be pointed at all, i am just genuinely looking to improve!
i feel like i answer this a fair bit , and honestly my answers don’t change too much ? there’s a plethora of things u can do , and by no means  are these definitive . these are things ive noticed make me feel more included , or Safe to join a rp . speaking as a woc , and somebody in the Cursed tz . .
if ur an admin ..  u should absolutely be playing a diverse character . please for the love of god . u should be the example of what the rp is about and what u wanna see . if ur char is just a cis whitey . . that just doesnt cut it for me ! thats not what i wanna see in 2021 !
when asked for most wanted fcs . . really name some ‘ unpopular ‘ fcs . aka faceclaims of colour . faceclaims that are gender diverse , body diverse , religiously diverse , different able bodied , etc , etc , etc !!! put these fcs in the forefront ! push for them ! strive to see them !
if somebody joins ur rp as a ‘ non popular fc ‘ aka . . a fc that isnt a whitey , or like . .zendaya . pls put in extra effort to plot and rp with them ! pls pls pls. because i guaranteed for the most part , especially in an established rp , they will be ignored otherwise ! if ur rp is super inclusive ooc , then this most likely wont happen , but also . . most rps arent super inclusive ooc lets be 100 here . 
either write skeletons for chars that are DIFFERENT and ‘ challenging ‘ to some , or ENCOURAGE these characters to be written . write more smooth talking business men who are indian ! write characters who are hard of hearing ! write characters who wear hijabis ! who are ethnic but have great relationships with their parents ! write characters who are in wheelchairs , or are sexy and confident in their plus sized bodies . write characters who are black women who are soft , but still strong . write gentle black men . write a  trans man , write a nonbinary god , etc , etc . defeat the stereotypes ! turn them on their head ! there are guides ! there is so much out there ! we can create the world we wanna live in , so why fill it with boring white cis , hetero normative ppl ???
know what ur gonna do with ur characters , plot wise . if ur rp has a plot , thats fantastic ! but . . u probably have to carry that momentum . ppl join ur rp bc they probably LIKE the plot and wanna explore the plot . so how r they characters gonna be involved ? whats their part in it all ? how will it help them develop ? what plot drops / tasks / events can u host that will make ppl do more with their chars and be more active ? 
don’t have an ooc chat . just don’t . please . they’re so cliquey , they literally always are . those who like ooc chats are usually the ppl who r cliquey , im being honest fjknfjn . there is no point in having an ooc chat , really either . ppl can add each other on discord at any time , for free , if they want .
have clear boundaries . what can and CANNOT be rped . what fcs can and CANNOT be used . have a very very clear line . no lazy ‘ no taboo plots ‘ or ‘ no big plots without talking to admins ‘ ‘ no triggering topics ‘ ‘ no deceased fcs ‘ . no . u need to get in the nitty gritty . u need to ensure ur harbouring and keeping a safe space for those entering ur rp
be friendly , as an admin . be firm . but also , be very very open and candid and honest . if something goes wrong ? its so fine , and honestly v human , to post abt it ! if there’s drama ? its rlly good to address it and talk abt it amongst ur rpers . listen to ur rpers , if theres a problem . create open communication . maintain it . show that u care and want to help , when u can help , whilst also maintaining ur own sanity !
advertise ur rp for different timezones ! if ur entire ooc list is just rpers in the united states . . look .  nothing wrong with it , but firstly , make sure everyone in the rp doesnt think america is the whole world ( the rpc  / america rlly thinks its the whole fucking world sometimes ) . this means , dont make fun of ppl for spelling things differently ( honestly im  just australian and this guy once made fun of me for spelling it as ‘ offence ‘ not ‘ offense ‘ . like . . ok im not american . the whole world isnt america kjfnjf ) . this doesn’t mean u need to be online at bizarre hours or ruining ur sleeping pattern , but try and get an admin thats in a diff timezone to help cover things ! or just make sure ur rlly advertising ur rp at allll times of a day . including when us ppl are usually asleep ! try and encourage other muns in other timezones to apply ! and when they do apply , pls try ur best to include them and make sure theyre not left out of everything !
theres probably a lot more but this is what first comes to mind for me , personally . this are usually my ‘ green signs ‘ ( go go go ! ) for a rp ! when i see this stuff on a main , or by an admin . . i feel very Warm n fuzzy . 
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misterbitches · 3 years
Text
I ship muren and li cheng bc i only saw it through gifs then i watched this episode cos i was like im only starting this show if they kiss im waiting and they did and it was nice and i got so anxious that i was about to fucking vomit. I really like them together. The top/bottom shit is dumb and i hope if they must mention it they all build a bridge and get over it so they can switch cos who gives a shit. I didnt realize how large they all are like most “tall” men on tv are lying. But bc that kid is so thin and tall and the other one (idk the stepbrother) is huge too. Li cheng is shorter than them both but more ~manly~ but still short so why doesnt he take a DICK UP HIS BUTT XD since that’s all that fucking matters and there’s only 2 genders and 2 eays to have sex lmao so nothing else otherwise ur screwed
Hd a terrible past couple of weeks personally and because i keep seeing my peopl eget murdered and things ripped from us ^_____^ anyway here’s Some libertatrian communist dumb bitch discoars so i’ll tag it:
keep in mind these are my opinions’”” when i engage in discourse. I am not the end all be all and I don’t need you to agree. There’s some shit I am non-negotiable on but thsi is just exchanging of information. Any authoratative tone I take on comes from my beliefs, my life, my experiences, and what I choose to cultivate as a person and an artist. I dont have control over your feelings, you do. If it hurts you then either tell me the issue and be PRECISE about it, understand that context matters which is why i type so much in engagement, and do not fucking lie or misconstrue my words. Do not call me western ever in your life either. I am a black-american. I have adhd and bc i am a black woman if ur automatically thinking im brolic i am accepting money in my paypal for ur wellbeing to get me to shut the fuck up.Thanks.
The stepbrothers storyline is stupid and lazy writing. I really want to counter people that say it’s written well and that it’s interesting because it isn’t. Even if it was illicit and fucked we can write a story out about this. Let’s rethink what they could have done shall we:
- become stepbrothers at about 16 and their parents mismanage the relationship and they fail in trying to get an integrated family together (this is what happened in the #iconic transit girls and that was fuckin’ weird but hey dude guess what we watched it and it was weird but not unethical and we know one is like 19 and the other is 21 and a girl so it’s like wow you avoided so much and handled their stepsister story very…….um lightly given the end lmao but it was there and people had AGENCY)
-OR you realize that freak is obsessed with him and then he realizes it and is like “bitch i swear to god” and in typical shtity trope BL fashion they can find a way from obsession, to loss and independence when you lose your obsession, to “love” if they choose
- have the fucked up shit but make it clear what the issues are and you literally cannot write your way out of it so do not try
But why can’t fucked up things be shown? Also this is realistic.
0. Well according to you but no one said that they can’t. So that’s on your interpretation of critique (that is, again, not bullying or harassment.) They can, i just gave plenty of scenarios in which it is affective and not just annoying to witness, trope-y, and frankly ridiculous and offensive. Sorry! They don’t do it well. You can come up with alternatives too. See #2 btw.
1. No it isn’t doing a good job of reflecting life because life has consequences. The exaggeration in drama doesn’t mean the arc shouldn’t be there. Almost always things that aren’t heavy with the message or meant to be sobering in a deep way are COMPELLING. The realism is the basis for art because we are human. This is not the way real humans act.
Someone said Tharn Type was mature and I had to laugh because no, no one acts that way and is “in love” if they act that way that means they fucking hate each other and they’re immature and frankly it’s just not that interesting for many of us to watch because the dramatization of the “realism” is fucking bonkers. That was such poor writing it is unbelievable and someone has the audacityt o say it’s how real adults act. Fucking murder me if I’m with someone for 7 years and we break up over a miscommunication and for some reason I am not as horny as my always horny boyfriend. The fuck? What kind of lives do you lead? Either you are not an adult or you are an adult who needs therapy.
I also hear the “realistic” argument but then people try and temper it with “but also it’s fiction.” What do you think fiction is? Why do you think filmmaking exists? Number one, it’s propaganda in the sense that you want others to buy into your presentation and see what you see. That means that the creators are telling people and influencing them WITH ART BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT IT IS about their feelings around a situation. That’s why it is imperative to be responsible as a filmmaker and artist and underline the deepness of creepiness if that’s what they want. If they want to relay that rape sometimes ok and psychos are crazy so they get boy (??!?!?!? BITCH?) then they achieved it with no innovative information. We know people get raped bc we are human beings and many of us live with that fear. You know, being the target demo and all. And bc BL loves that trope it’s rape fantasy peddled to young people and women. Just like shitty wattpad fics or NYT best sellers. Hooray, what now? Or are you trying to purport that this isn’t glorified fanfiction? Which it literally is
2. This is the issue with these shows. No one is saying that fucked up shit cannot be shown. There’s a film about a woman who is raped and she falls in love with her rapist (because he was masked but i think we find out later that she knows. Binoche is in it.) I have no desire for that film—i think it’s by a man and i extra dont care—but I hear it’s sort of powerful for many. I heard it was a good film. But the act itself is always eschewed and the conflict comes from how fucking ridiculous it is especially finding out that she knows. The power imbalance adn the possibility. They may not have handled it in a way I would have cared for but it was there.
There’s simply no imagination because these people do not care that much and aren’t great writers and filmmakers because they simply do not have to be. Sorry.
The industry doesn’t rely on the best they rely on efficiency (this is everywhere.) You can tell by the camera angles, the editing, the camera itself (idk if it is multicam but the flatness is typical soap flatness without the glowboxes to soften their faces.) Simple constant lighting. Now the surroundings are mostly beautiful. But even to some of the costumes. And those edits are abysmal, some of that camera work.
So with all that said even with the couple I extremely enjoy I see its (H4) faults. Add into that a lazily thrown together “shocking” love and if they are trying to get us to feel a type of way about its sexiness they fail. This is why movies like 50sog, 365 days, etc aren’t enjoyable to people because it’s fucking strange situations that they dont want to entangle or make enjoyable to viewers across the board. They know what people will take. It’s just that bitch what are we here for if even the sexiness isn’t there for ur stupid story.
At least with that teenager and 30 yr old man in MODC (which i do not love but i like them in theory if it wasnt totally repulsive to me and also if it was developed in a way that was good TO ME) they had their, er, “sex appeal” i talk about this as well the main couple in MODC to me, visually, was a miss. Not bc whatshisface was small and stuff but bc he was so sickly and they needed that to propel the story but it was just not appealing given how the story progressed. A missed opportunity in tying the two together besides making him look waif-y and sickly only to have the “did ur mom die in a car crash? No, cancer” type of move in not another teen movie. But the opposite. And not funny. Wayne tho????? GORL. Eggs. Cracked.
fandoms have a very warped sense of harrassment and discourse.
Most fandoms have harassers who are “protecting” the cast and crew who don’t need their protection (or maybe the crew does since they probably dont get paid well but why the fuck would anyone care about that lol) but very few have the people who have concerns or massive critique about the show are not going to be “bullying.”
If people are saying “if you like xyz, u suck” then sure it may suck for you to see but who fucking cares. Either talk to the person or don’t be friends with them. That is not bullying or harrassment. Things that are shitty get criticized. Fuck, things that aren’t shitty don’t. Get away from this idea of cancel culture and people misunderstanding the story. We have the ability to.
Think beyond your noses of personal preference. You don’t have to convince people of what you believe. Discussing it is good but critique is not bullying, harrassment, or hate. Neither is fucking roasting shit because even this shit I like (manner of death lets say) deserves it. Art is meant to be critiqued and if you dont fucking like the bullshit people make then say it. They know stupid stories like this are scandalous and they don’t give a shit in how to present them.
And guess what? You won’t like everybody. Many people can’t stand me i’m sure. Oh well. I mean frankly I don’t like that and I feel very unsettled when I don’t feel understood. That’s ok! I have to temper it. Sometimes calm myself down. I won’t get anything and everything I want. And you won’t like every opinion and sometimes it’s like “man am i a dummy?” But the part of growing up is fucking maanging that and beng honest about “bashing and harrassment” and “bullying” and growing up. Yuo can like what you want the “let people like what they want thing” is so fucking juvenile and THAT is not the real world. Which is probably why so many people feel that way, they dont want to live in the real world. Unfortunately, you do.
Think beyond our noses of personal preference and what we feel emotionally in conjunction with others. You don’t have to convince people of what you believe. And you can say things that you believe to be true but it doesn’t make them so or maybe it isn’t received that way to people. And many times we learn new things in the discussions “oh shit i didn’t see it that way” right? Discussing it is good but critique is not bullying, harrassment, or hate. Neither is fucking roasting shit because even this shit I like (manner of death lets say) deserves it. Art is meant to be critiqued and if you dont fucking like the bullshit people make then say it. They know stupid stories like this are scandalous and they don’t give a shit in how to present them. Usually the “opposition” in these situations aren’t the popular beliefs that permeate through society. Trust me lmao
Antiblackness
Antiblackness is a thing. It permeates everywhere. It permeates in this genre and it permeates in fandom. Get it the fuck together. Also do not conflate cultural relativism with being repsectful. They are not barbarians, they are smart human beings either making work or deciding to. We all have diff cultures but we have fucking sense in what is respectful and not. And if we don’t we fucking learn. You cannot excuse things and say “oh culture” when you have 0 idea of that culture or actual people who are radical etc and are fighting against it. Additionally the word westerner is an ignorant term when referring to people in the US or UK who are black. Because we are not. We extend sympathy to other groups and empathy since we know so there is no inherent power imbalance between a black viewer and their subject. Don’t suggest that because it’s wrong and ahistorical and contextless.
FIRST the fallacy of representation as freedom makes people fucking complacent, individualistic, and doesn’t let them think critically. Consumption and discourse around consumption is not helping material conditions of the marginalized communities in your home, the black ones who are ignored, those intersectionalized in these communities. Groups talk about art and what it means for them outside of just what we see and because we also don’t have access to a bunch of Thai reviews or what movements or going on we are less likely to know if we don’t FUCKING SEARCH for it. Because art is constant...which leads me to....
Representation is difficult. It matters and it doesn’t.
Tthese shows are not meant to overturn the LGBTQ+ community.
There are queer filmmakers and artists in these countries. Deep illustrious film careers or even TV that is moving and deliberate. We can even see it with the dude from “your name engraved” in their short series he was in beforehand. BL is no wa pejorative because it is simply not “qu**r” storytelling whatever that means. But know it has always existed everywhere and there are also out artists or radical artists in all these countries who do no respect mediums that are cash-grabs and poorly made.
ex: As much as “Like in the Movies” sort of isnt for me and is a bit hamfisted you can tell how much love goes into that. Love of the characters, acting, and message. Yes it’s cringey to see some of the lines (like very tbh subtlety wasnt exactly their strong suit) and yea naming them after lenin and marx is just 0ihgoaudgijposkagjihou BUT GUESS WHAT? THEY FUCKING DID IT. THEY TRIED. And class was a large component as well bc u cant fuckin ignore it. The show is aware of the machinations in its world as a show but also in the philippines and for a fuckin reason. And duatarte? Loooooooool so like yea not so sure bl makes him love his ppl but the show isnt trying to do that
It’s not a transgressive genre and it has no reason to be. No ethical anything under the way we live it’s just trying your fucking best to be. That’s it. They serve societal ills and capital’s purposes. Which is fine but it is not revolutionary.
These countries in SEA or even SA do not have as big budget for even mainstream dramas—though things are changing and that’s bc REVENUE like revenue from kpop is fucking huge for SK and again so much about that is bc of what happened in their history from japanese imperialism to WWII to the US—so for “queer” stuff it is sort of now important to make that an export and it sure is one. Not only globally or to the west but a lot of these places make their money within asia (duh!) outside of their countries. OBVIOUSLY. so BL is a way to output and gain money. The thing is, it doesnt seem to be put back into the industry at all. For people in all these countries to make works that aren’t for mainstream or wont reach as many people there’s a difference between trying and just shoving shit in your face and going here it’s gay you like it right? But dont antagonize the inherent patriarchal nature of BL.
Another thing: did you guys know thailand was never colonized? You should look it up. There’s little hints of things in ITSAY to represent french influence still. Isnt that fascinating? Find out why. It’s certainly interesting that the representation, though damaging and dubious many times and also incorrect like any media, is huge in asia and this isnt a commodity here (the US) exactly. A lot of that has to do with colonial ideas of gender of which I am sure. But listen………lmao
Sometimes people dont give a shit. And it very much shows. Here is the thing once again. GOOD TRANSGRESSIVE WORK exists.
Een within the capitalist Bs paradigm or you can see people trying (I can sort of applaud parts of lovely writer) also queer media has always existed everywhere the reason you don’t know about it is because it gets takena nd commodified into a mainstream product. We hvae little incentive, particularly if we are not fans of cinema or art in gen, to search fror others when the output is right here. Being dictated by others and the state and who will give you money. No longer an effort of a cast and crew who want to convey things. But google [any country] independent cinema, radical cinema, queer radical cinema, or even retrospectives on the cinema and rethinking what is queer and radical in film. What if we took that, diluted it, got rid of the creators who put themselves through all the work, ignroe al the nuances and do……………….two actors who are conventionally attractive with no chemistry making out.
It’s the same here lets say daniel kaluuya winning the oscar for the film about the BPP. I heard it was okay and not too offensive but it still isnt’ enough. It still isn’t like hwood isn’t trash, nnati black, misogynistic towards BW and women, and all that other shit. It was pushy but it can’t be enough where we are. Black KKKlansmen i think won an oscar, by circumstance i fuckin hate these award shows they mean nothing, and i like the film a lot but he has his misogynoir still resting in his films even if it is poignant. And it was a film that honestly wasn’t really made for black people. And should all art be a response to direct trauma or trying to make ourselves palatable when we’re just human?
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ and it’s importance (capitalism) but also sorta individual responsibility
Considering a lot of these actors are rich and then just dip that’s another problem. Mainstream isn’t what sustains marginalized art ever. It doesn’t change in the vast ways we think it does. What changes is the people of these groups pushing, fighting, forcing and then capitalism trying to make it work under capitalism. It will not. It cannot.
This is why artists and labels often don’t mix or you see people like Sonic Youth doing whatever they want and pissing off their label but making them give them money. Same with Nirvana. Vince Staples. The thing is they can fight and make good shit but what capitalism helps people….not care? They don’t respect the audience? We’re getting those returns on poor executed product placement, lighting, editing, framing, fucking acting. And you surewon’t see mixed black asians in these shows. WHY R U is the oNLY one i have seen it in and he just disappears (but that was pretty cool.) so who the fuck is this representing? And before you start: asian countries are not homogenous the way we believe them to be. There are marginalized communities outside of even mixed people that are harmed. So you can skrrt cause on that one: you’re wrong buddy. But it gives us the IDEA of a paradise which is what they NEED.With representation and visibility comes consequence and responsibility as artists. What it allows them to do is coast and not think complexly because why should they; it’s mostly the fantasies of some older woman who probably has money and much less interaction with the world. It’s bonkers. And what that allows even further is for them to say YOU ARE THE THING THAT YOU CONSUME and the THING THAT YOU CONSUME IS YOURS. It is not, it is not your identity, form a close bond but figure it the fuck out. Especially for adults who are hellbent on twisting their minds into pretzels and can’t acknowledge what’s just laziness in art and not giving a fucking shit. Truly.
There’s damage that has been done from Parasite as he was supported by CJE&M and the bullshit obsession america had and eveyrone’s poor interpretation of it if they are rich. BJH is a socialist and he is a filmmaker. He has made films that are outstanding and cost a lot of money. But now a fear for indie filmmakers is just not being able to raise that much or have that much attention. Getting funding that helps them instead of expecting the Next Big Thing that is a fad because capitalism is trash. Yes this funneling of money is absolutely harmful to us artists. Even buying in is strategic. Additionally, that film is probs one of the most radical films to have that wide release and accolade (unlike “Sorry to Bother You” which i have a lot of thoughts about. One being that asian exports are acceptable but black ones are not. This is an overall art critique and global media critique. Blackness is removed, not respected.) However, filmmaking isn’t green, it can’t be socialist, and it’s a lot of work. They used tons and tons and TONS of water to do a huge beautiful feat but we still know there is a cost. We have to figure that out because it shouldn’t be. It doesn’t go back into the crew’s pockets the way it should and the work becomes that of the director’s and actors solely. It’s fucking hard. We have to do our part but it doesn’t mean we are doing it perfectly. We just have to try to do better. So does BJH cos he needs to not be a misogynist but anyways i digress.
additionally and this is something some users fail to understand: people in the media sphere generally have fucking money. I went to film school that was international with super fucking rich kids. Taiwanese kids, kids from south asia, china, thailand. They had money. No not upper middle class money, not “rich” money, not some paltry 1m that’s chump change. Fucking money. Fucking RICH-RICH. MILLIONAIRES. BILLIONAIRES. WHICH IS DISGUSTING MIGHT I ADD. The domestic people didn’t have the money for school (in the UK) and i am in a massive amount of debt like every other black student that went there. You do not understand how much money is needed to survive so people who turn to these crew positions even casting etc need this fucking money usually. OKAY. A lot of the people that do well in these dumb shows or even on a larger scale HAVE MONEY. The reason these industries are small and struggling is because of lack of people and lack of resources to independent shit because oh gee it takes money to make things.
Why should I try? Well you don’t have to really if you have money or a name. Yet...
We can tell when like those Tik Tok shows or DCOMs dont give a shit (anymore.) You know how frustrated we get when content for young people is garbage? Well, see, BL is literally that under that system. Occasionally we will get something good now but there is virtually no need in any sector in the world at this point to truly figure out how to make it better and what to do to enhance artistic literacy, outreach, teaching people new things, getting people from these communities there and having true realistic says. Art and culture is IMPERATIVE TO WORLD LIBERATION but not when it is so stiffly trying to bend to capital’s idea of progressiveness. No. Neoliberalism. No.
That’s why in a way ITSAY is a huge feat; it takes from films etc and they clearly had money (the actors rae rich too which….lmaooooo j’aime pas) but it was a respected fucking script, acting was important, blocking, framing. There’s very little to critique as a visual medium for that because I understand what they are trying to do, their market is going to be mostly young girls, but they RESPECT THE FUCKING AUDIENCE. And guess what guys? You can make money from it!!!! WOAH! Since that may be the only goal which is disgusting and repulsive.
HOWEVER AND THIS IS WHAT IS SAD: itsay is an ex of a great show however knowing the actors backgrounds and the pseudo trouble it stirred when they weren’t supporting people protesting against the coup in the summer it really put a damper on my enjoyment. And this is how we can see that:
a) it’s honestly just a show and a good one but b) now what?
These kids (actors, who are like idk 19? 20?) are rich and not saying anything while countless actors, who were filming, did. Even tul who has $$$$ and the thing is the protesting against the coup legitimately attacks the rich. As it should. The protests going on were cries for help, against a dictatorship and fucking coup, asking people to get fucking help for covid, having kids be able to live. There’s a mini on VICE about this and it probably doesnt go too in depth but there’s a kid in there who talks about his friends getting into drugs and how he just wants to make music, have fun, skateboard. And it’s harrowing to see. This is a direct example of what these things do and don’t do. Yea we know a good show is here, we know growing up and slice of life, we know this is a bit of escapism and idealism but the idealism is reflected in the way these actors also choose to live their lives. So what progress? To who? For who? How is this helping me? What purpose does it serve? I say ITSAY serves its purpose as a piece and a glimpse into possibility of growing up but i do not say it antagonizes a broader issue that needs to be relevant in some sense but simply is not. It’s very singleminded and, well, it’s sort of like “besides my sexuality, what do i have to worry about?” But for real humans like....a lot. I do not respect their decision at all.
Why can’t we do our jobs and make something decent and respect our audience? No time, gotta make that sweet sweet sweet cash baybee. Look how progressive we are! Don’t look at history and material conditions. Thanks in advance, management.
History 4 does not have that respect. Many of these shows do not. Sometimes we hit good, sometimes we don’t. But in the end we cannot settle. And I won’t. If I am critiquing something I will not be shy and if I am meant to enjoy something as escapism then these shows NEED to highlight that and it’s rare sometimes (the best twins is a good reminder like that show is bad but man do i Brain Empty when i turn it on and i like that and there’s not much in it that makes me want to kill myself from annoyance but there are transphobic jokes i dont love however the whole show is a comedy about this dude’s crazy homophobic sister and she is constantly positioned as wrong and they talk about the aforementioned trans women as the actor was in drag. Interesting that they can manage that, huh?)
Oh btw.....taiwan has a very complicated history but ignore all the bad stuff it’s good now you can kinda sorta get married and stuff. KMT? You know how i learned that? I care about human beings and read about it lmao. I am not Taiwanese and look at that. So now I have historical and DIALECTICAL~**~*~****~*~*~ context so i can judge it as an artist, a black woman from america, and from the knowledge i have to pick up on their history to see if this fits into a broader picture besides the micro-one of sexuality on an individualized level. And this is kinda where it comes full circle: these shows are not you, you are not them, they do not exist in a vacuum because nothing does. The failure to critique now means continuing on as it has and it will still do so. History and time are not linear in the sense we think it is. Someitmes things are better, sometimes things feel more austere. We are not living under liberation though and these shows are not going to do so. So they are not US nor are they for a nebulous “us” of which the groups are all fractured and have diff opinions anyway (my opinion as a black american is going to vary from an asian woman’s say and that could really clash and i do not feel solidarity with all those in every community i am for several reasons.)
Final thots that have taken up my time and the only thing i actually wanted to write but got distracted:
Anyway my dissertation is that I ilke Muren and LiCheng a lot a lot and i like how cute they are and how truly dumb li cheng is. This is an example of mostly good writing, decent actors, nice chemistry, and sort of a calmness to them. And I super enjoy how Muren is pretty forward with LC in the sense that being together is like very important to truly be together. When he was like “no i didnt forget!” Or when LC asked him something in the office I forget it was 6 am and again i almost threw up and muren nodded and then LC leaned on him. Very cute. I want more of them tho i may have to skip that othre couple (the cameo the ones from MODC) but omfg the younger one HIS HAIR GREW SO MUCH HE LOOKS SO MATURE AND CUTE OMFGIJ0HUG9SAOGIJPKOAGJSIOHUAGIJP hahhaha the one good thing i will say about THEM.idk how old the actor is i figure he was young idk it makes me happy to see him he’s very cute. I hope he’s in something i can watch and not gag at. Is he hot? Who knows but he is a cutie!!
Anyway muren and lc have a good thing going it’s nice to watch ho\pe they dont fuck it up but im truly a sucker for some true finds 2 luvas i think some user on her\e was like i’m not a fan of friends ot lovers bc it doesn’t seem like they’re actually friends and maybe they were referring to this show idk. But it made me think and it was a very good observation. So i think they are friends and also luvrs <3
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jiminrings · 4 years
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homebound
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pairing: yoongi x y/n
glimpse: race car driver!yoongi is a tiny bit fond of pit stop crew!y/n, grumpy crew chief!jimin will be the bANE of your existence, and jungkook is ur saving grace for bumper stickers whenever u wanna surprise yoongi :D
wordcount: 21k
notes: ok if u know charlie leclerc from F1, he was the inital reason why i wanted to write this au with yoongi!! think of this as an au with a mix of F1-level type of class and racing, but with a NASCAR type of pit crew that only has five members instead of formula one’s twenty!! i also asked my close friend for info since she’s an avid f1 fan to add on to my prior knowledge!! this is a work of fiction and accuracy does nOt always result to fun so pls just enjoy this!!! i also made a poll to what i should write next and this was one of the options and tHEN d-2 dropped and i was !!! ok it’s settled then // pic is from pinterest but i just edited it since it looked like it was shot with a 3210 hihi
also: you can talk to my characters!!! send in an ask anytime :D
(๑>◡<๑)
jungkook, as a person, is an excellent one
he’s talented, he’s kind, he’s driven, he’s gonna buy you your meal when you don’t have enough cash on you and would say “yA PAY ME BACK LATER” but in the end, he’ll just wave it off and say “nah i was kidding it’s my treat :D”
he’s also h*ndsome but you won’t say that again and again because his ego?? his bragging rights?? what then
jungkook, as a friend, is a fun, attentive, food-inhaling and money-draining carebear that can be pERSUASIVE if he needs to be
he lets u have the last slice of pizza!! or the last pringle or the last pearl in the massive cup of milktea you split with two straws and a giant butter croissant
he holds the umbrella up for the two of you when it’s raining and you’re sharing it
if he feels extra kind then he’ll be in the side in which there are more splatters and puddles to go through
if he feels like a sAINT then yes he may piggyback u but only if u hold up the umbrella because he’s a saint not four-arms from ben ten
7/10 times that he screenshots what’s in his cart but wouldn’t checkout, he genuinely just wants to show you because he’s excited and when you dO decide to get it for him, whether it was an actual shock or he just kept sending you screenshots until you got the hint, he makes sure to hug you until you physically can’t breathe anymore
he once saw this you liked that didn’t become your boyfriend because it turns out you were just a bet and you’re only worth a month of fucking gatorade
you’re not the most confident person ever in the worls but you’re sURE
you are worth more than month’s supply of glacier freeze for a no thoughts, head empty football jock senior
jungkook was sure too
if ur gonna be an asshat that he’s gonna hate anyway, aTLEAST make it cool blue because that belongs to top tier
he made sure he went to TOWN on that punching bag while looking at that dude
whatever he did, jungkook did with much more power and intensity and he is still maintaning eye contact after the airhead caught on and recognized him
HE NEVER SAW THE DUDE IN THE GYM AFTER
jungkook, as an athlete, is a beast and u gotta admit that
he played basketball in college while u played softball!!!
you were handpicked by your coach if you wanna try out for this once in a lifetime career opportunity aND it was sketchy at first
u kept asking on what was it about but all she said was “that’s for you to know.,.,., if you wanna accept the offer :))” and you were eventually driven to the edge because you wanted to know so badly
and then it turns out u were the ONLY one in your softball team to be handpicked as she said and then u were instructed to go to the gym in which there were chairs lined up
oh god is this a cult
there were a couple other people too and you could recognize some of them from the swimming team and this girl from weighlifting and that dude from football
they too did not have any idea at aLL
you just decided to sit by the last row... y’know... just in case....
and then jungkook strolls in confused as fUCK but in the same time excited and he sits beside you because he’s thinking the same thing of what if this was sketchy shit!!
you just knew him then because he looked familiar and you may have seen him asleep in your calc class a couple of times
and also because his hair was peach
how could u possibly forget that aha
“oH i like your uniform!!”
jungkook immediately spoke what was on his mind and pointed to your softball uniform u were still in and then your response was to freeze
ok that might have been too forward and-
“i know right?? oH MY GOD!! i signed up for softball in the first place because the uniform was sO COOL!!”
“bro i joined basketball because i heard that tHE WARMERS WERE SO SOFT”
:D
and then a friendship was born
the both of you were not thinking anymore about the fact that you’re both in a gym with no instructions whatsoever bc you’re too excited to be talking about what’s happening!!!
you joined a sport jUST for their uniforms?? oh my god i did that TOO
turns out that jungkook was actually great at basketball and he just knew then
also turned out that u were a gifted natural in softball even if you didn’t fully grasp the mechanics at first
“but when do i oH IS IT MY TIME TO RUN??? no?? not yet?? oh aha yeah i guess i run that fast :D”
the two of you bonded so good that it was immediately decided that u are really meant to be friends with each other
sometimes people mistake the both of you as a couple and u know what,,, sometimes the two of you take advantage of that because a fREE DESSERT?? ice cream on the house?? celebratory cake because jungkook one time jokingly went down on one knee and proposed a ring pop to you that he just saw LYING on the ground???
don’t mind if u do :)))
jungkook, as a fellow pit stop crew member, is a really comforting (and sometimes annoying) presence
he doesn’t question when you get whiney from the fatigue settling in and instead? he just whines with you!!
the impromptu meeting in the gym? it was actually an orientation and introduction to try out for a pit stop crew program for this really really popular racing organization :D
athletes were in-demand because the discipline and the speed and the skills were needed
and you were filtered furthermore and it just ended up with only the handful of you
of course you could opt out but if you do pursue to go through, and if you do exceptionally good, then you might just be one of the two people they’re gonna hire as a part of the pit stop crew after you graduate!!
god training was rigorous and the practical test was even more nerve-wracking
you were put in pairs and in groups to see how the camaraderie and teamwork would show and bEST BELIEVE THAT YOU AND JUNGKOOK.,.,.
exceptional
breathtaking
best work
not to toot your own horn or anything ://
aha and those two positions? of course it went to the two of you!!
but jungkook, as a fellow pit stop crew member but for your oPPONENT TEAM is beyond irking
you see...
it was guaranteed that you and jungkook would be accepted into the organization
what wasn’t guaranteed, however, is that the two of you would be a member of the same pit crew
u found that hIGHLY confusing because what for... you guys saw how kook and i work together.... don’t you want that idk intact?????
“hobi-hyung’s gonna win this time. i guarantee you that. i bet you HALF of my food allowance”
hobi aka jung hoseok is a force to be reckoned with
you always see him in races and u know enough about him because jungkook just won’t shut up about how great he is!!
he’s a very giggly and joyful person and sometimes you just can’t help smiling when you see him getting interviewed over by their spot
kook’s introduced you to hobi a couple of times eagerly now and hobi does not!! forget!! names!!
it’s a lil conflict of interest for you and jungkook to be openly best friends while being in oppositing teams, but that doesn’t seem to stop heh
hoseok shook your hand firmly and eVEN added another hand so your hand is sandwiched by his and he has a permanent :D on his face
u immediately got why jungkook was so fascinated and happy to be working with him
“i mean nO offense to hobi, kook, and he’s like a rEALLY really great guy and a great driver and i have tons of respect for him also i totally get why you’re whipped for him bUT-“
“ᵒᵏ ʰᵉʳᵉ ʷᵉ ᵍᵒ ᵃᵍᵃᶦⁿ”
“he’s great, but not min yoongi great!!”
he already had that coming
how can jungkook not anticipate that when you have said that to him a million times already
that guy barely even talks to you but he’s so chatty with literally Everyone But You
he has a theory
theorieS actually
ok first one is that ur a guardian angel for yoongi
WAIT NO HEAR HIM OUT FOR A SEC
you just gravitate towards him!! you wanna be around yoongi as much as you can in non-stalker way but rATHER in guardian angel ways
you and jungkook are almost always in the same place at the same time given your jobs
also sketchy for kook because it could be seven in the evening and you’d call him using the hotel phone and go
“eY JUNGKOOK do u wanna come with me to this pub :) to celebrate yoongi’s win today :) do you :) please :) say yes pls :)”
“y/n baby hOW many time do i have to remind you that i am yOUR team’s opponent,,, jung hoseok is the OPPONENT of min yoongi,,,”
“... how many drinks do u want”
...
...
“fINE i’m gonna wear a hoodie again and i’ll get a cab to tail your team’s car and i’ll come inside the pub five minutes after again and tHEN i’ll pretend to bump into you. a g a i n”
plus you always have the heart eyes for yoongi no matter how blank he is with you or frustrated he gets after a sucky race
second theory: you’re not a guardian angel; you probably just have a crush on yoongi
:O
wait does th is mean that lovers are like angels, and angels are like lovers?
goddamn
omg he should’ve just become a poet or something
get those hands busy with typing up the same message but in different wordings and nOT lifting up cars under time pressure or change a wheel like your life depended on it
lmao maybe he should become a singer or something
“but it is true!”
“you use his name as an adjective now!!”
“lol true the sunset was yoongi today”
god jungkook’s thinking if it’s possible to drown himself in this glass of water because eW you’re so in love and for WHAT
“what’s tHAT supposed to mean??”
“beautiful!! c’mon jungkook think every now and then!!”
yoongi just isn’t a name in the game
he is the name of the game
his dad was a famous racer up until his retirement
and then his grandfather set the family name into racing because boi is he a legend too
AND THEN HERE HE IS
yoongi’s been karting ever since he was like what?? six years old??
ultimately ever since he was a kid, he knew he wanted to do racing too
he just didn’t want his family’s reputation preceding him
(he was also thinking of wAIT do i actually have skills oR do i just have “skills” because it’s expected from me)
plot twist he did have skills
he tried out and just had his name as suga
and then when he knocked out those officials and got them sTANDING up from their seats because they really needed what was happening to sink in, that’s when he just dropped the truth bomb
“oh aHA actually i’m min yoongi!! nice to meet you!!”
he was just talented like that
so talented that he almost went with moto racing instead because he knew how to drive motorcyles!!
rode a bike twice and he immediately went pSH give me a motorbike nOW PLS :((
one time he fell out of balance and dislocated his shoulder and yoongi then decided that will never do that again lmao
the thing is, you haven’t had a proper lengthy conversation with yoongi that had some substance to it
it’s your default congratulations and you’re “oMG you killed it out there you were a bEAST!!” and him just going “thanks!” and then walking off
you wanna call him nicknames
if it’s not yoongi, then either it’s sir or it’s mr. min
and it’s no fun :((
how come jungkook can call hoseok HOBI
you really just wish you were as close
sometimes if you’re lucky, yoongi gets your name right!!
it’s okay!! yoongi’s just a little bit reserved with you!! that’s all!! :)
it’s a race day anyway and you all just headed out to the circuit fairly early
yoongi’s sitting by himself wearing a white shirt underneath his racing suit and uWu he looks so comfy :((
normally in practice days and practice drills, he’d be also sitting by himself as he looks wistful staring out
but no not really
he would pull out his phone a couple seconds later oR pass out and wake up when he feels like falling because one of his talents was to fall asleep sitting
sitting.,.. the seat doesn’t even need to have a backrest.,..,
the season is about to end and you dON’T want to pass another season without atleast attempting to invoke some reaction from him with how much you interact with him
you smiled at him more than a hundred times already but he just goes :] and then walks off AGAIN
you’re gonna be proactive!! you’re gonna do these moves!! yOU’RE GONNA OWN IT :D
you’re striding very confidently to where yoongi’s sat and he doesn’t take notice because his back’s turned to you and you’re walking too fast and motivated that he probably doesn’t hear you
wait maybe you need to back-track a little
“am i — am i supposed to know why you’re giving me a pill and what is this pill?”
maybe you should have done a better way to do this aHa
“w-what?? oH nO NO it’s not — it’s a caffeine pill!!”
yoongi’s mouth forms into a lil :O and he tilts his head, trying to register and find your face in the memory bank for his pit crew
“i just — i just noticed aND uh y’know it’s not only me?? it’s just that i- we know that you drink coffee a lot and you aren’t allowed to drink it when it’s an actual game and not practice, because it’s gonna make you pee-“
maybe you shouldn’t be talking about pee
this is the longest (one-sided) conversation you’ve ever had with yoongi without him walking away and you’re talking about body fluids!!!!
it’s okay it’s cool
he probably knows what you’re talking about anyway
everything he wears is heavy-duty fire-proof material from his undies to his racing suits aND so does the pit crew
it’s gonna make you sweat a lot!! it was a given
yoongi doesn’t drink much water in the first place and he only gulps down liters of it when he’s officially done with his race
he doesn’t drink coffee before an actual race either because it just does these things to him
caffeine makes him focused but the particular one that he favors makes him tOO focused
and also coffee makes you pee more than any other!!
plus yoongi swears too that he’s nEVER peed in his racing suit ever and he’s gonna stand by that no matter how much stoopid questions he gets or teases
“point is, you can be a liTTLE bit out of yourself when you don’t have your fix a-and i mean absolutely nO offense yoongi sir aha mmmmh just!! here!! a caffeine pill!!”
he’s looking down on your palm and he takes into detail that the pill was lying snugly on a bed of pREMIUM tissue paper
hmmm this looks like those soft tissues from his hotel room???? is it just him???
you put it there not oNLY for presentation, but also because giving it to him with your bare hands that are gettin sweaty with how nervous you are is unhygienic
god ur struggles
“jungkook is this tissue tOO crumpled?? like does it look intentional crumple, or like an effortless cUte crumple???”
“are u out of your fucking mind?? oh my gOD no it’s too crumpled!! let me do it”
y/n!!
that’s it!! that’s your name!! you’re y/n!!
yoongi can’t believe that there’s this girl from his pit crew that is giving him a caffeine pill because-
“this is nice of you. very considerate.”
yo
did yoongi just talk to you
u have officially lowered your goals in life!! you can nOW perish peacefully knowing that yoongi has said something else to you besides “thanks” :D
he snatches your lil napkin bed and takes the pill and your other hand is a bit lonely because you’re holding a bottle of his special water and-
did he just
did he just swallow a pill dry
people who swallow their pills dry SCARE YOU
they are to be feared honestly
however there are exceptions hehe
tHIS ONLY MAKES YOU WANT TO KNOW YOONGI MORE!!
although you really can’t
not when you can literally hear your crew chief’s footsteps towards you and you’re just smiling through :D
you don’t know a park jimin
no you don’t aha :D
sometimes denial is the key!!!
“y/n, go do some stretches with your crew.”
sometimes u really really just wanna rattle jimin back and forth
he’s a grumpy crew chief!! a strict one!! one that wouldn’t let an ice cream man give out treats, because in his words, it is completely unnecessary
vernon got assigned as ice cream man and his feelings were HURT
jimin’s exceptional, no doubt about that
his strategies coincide well with yoongi’s and it contributes to the winning formula
what you just don’t like is how he’s grumpy with almost everyone else, but he’s extra grumpy with you
you offered a piece out of your packet of gummy bear ones
jimin just stared at you up and down, eyes narrowed as he looks as if he’s been offended big-time
“are you trying to woo me with your citric acid obsession?”
woo wHAT
yOU WHAT????
“jIMIN-“
and then he crossed his arms across his chest as you’re trying to reason out that you were just being considerate and nOt trying to woo him!!!
“aish. if you’re gonna woo me, atleast go for a proper attempt. a granola bar. that’s good. i’m gonna deny you anyway, but atleast that one isn’t laughable.”
you cannot
you seriously cannot comprehend wHY is jimin like this
he has this habit of clicking his tongue and shaking his head and THEN walking away
people walking away from you is a trend apparently
“but jimin i already stretched aND warmed up today”
he hums at that but you have a feeling that your words are just going through one ear and out of the other
you just love being chastised by your crew chief in front of yoongi <3
“with jungkook?”
wait who is jungkook
yoongi suddenly has more interest into this conversation because uh who is jungkook and why does the name itself kinda intimidate him
he’s kinda familiar with the name but nOT the face
:(
is this your thing
is your thing giving out caffeine pills?? this is just a normal occurrence and he shouldn’t feel this AWED at the sentiment??
“yeah!! and we did both our warm-ups!! tWICE if i might add!!”
jimin knows about jungkook tho
he knows how you’re best friends and opponents in a technical sense
he’s a little wary of that still but he guesses that it just can’t be helped???
there’s a lot of talk on the field with how great jungkook is as a pit crew member anyway!! they were surely a bit confused too on with how the two of you were separated but it’s for the better (?) anyways considering that you’re both aces
good for hobi
good for yoongi
bAd for jimin!!! and you’re his favorite
his favorite when it comes to scolding even when you particularly haven’t done anything
tough love
“.... hmmmm”
“mmmmmh”
yoongi feels like he has to add on to the conversation because he’s gotta admit that it’s somehow entertaining
he’ll ask jimin later about this jungkook guy anyway :))
“i didn’t see it though. do it again.”
smile thru da pain :)))
yoongi placed second in this race though and although that isn’t entirely bad, he is still kinda upset because that just means he’s second best :((
hobi placed first!!
he’s all cool about it and yoongi doesn’t wanna be bitter but he iS mad at himself for not getting pole position for this race
so for every race for the season, there’s three qualifying sessions to determine your position in the grid!! if it all adds up and you’re the one with the fastest times, then u become the pole-sitter
acquiring the pole position aka being the pole-sitter puts a driver at an advantage because they’re first in line!! aND they don’t have to weave in between cars at the back and fight for getting ahead
it’s cool that’s cool :))) yoongi’s got pole position more than a handful times anyway :))) he’s just giving out chances for the others :))) 
he’s kind like that :)))
[ yoongi is bURNING in the inside tho ]
there’s what?? like eight more races in this whole championship season?? yeah he could make this work no pressure
the caffeine pill,,, however.,.,.,,
“well?? how did it work out??”
jungkook is beyond impatient now because you keep getting into telling the story of how it went with yoongi but you jUST kept getting distracted
it’s only fair because yah the race just ended and you and jungkook didn’t opt to go back to the hotel with your teams so you could eat out from the stalls here after a really tiring day!! you deserve it!!
“okAy so like i was really nervous, yeah?? so i walked and then oOOOOOH CHEESY BEEF FRIES!! jungkook look omg cHEESy beef fries!! hold on lemme-”
you are aging jungkook and he swears by that
“nO no!! here!!! i already bought them!!! can you just oH my god!! y/n please stand STILL”
he’s holding you still with both of his hands grounding your shoulders wHILE his hands are still holding up his food and drinks and none of them are spilling?
that’s: talent
he’s been antsy ever since you texted him before the race started that you’re diving in head-first without a proper plan!! he was writing an elaborate plan in bullet points on his dotted notebook and tHen you’re telling him that you’re gonna dive straight in??
first of all how dare u
second of all pLEASE just tell him how it went
“five bites of fries, two minutes of telling how it went.”
ok he is a really great negotiator and also you’re already shoving like three in your mouth so this is more favorable than what he bargained for
jungkook does find you a pain in the ass sometimes like there is nO denying that absolutely
but he can attest to the fact that you are a GREAT storyteller
like damn your emotions?? hand gestures?? how you’d eVEN switch positions so he could get visuals of how it went down?? perfection like so good that jungkook feels so flustered because omg?? so tHIS is why you have a crush on yoongi aha
you’re not gonna lie,, jungkook sometimes decreases your lifespan for a solid seven months at the least
but you’re lying too when you say that he isn’t a dAMN good listener/audience
his doe eyes get even bigger and he is dang expressive and he’s never insincere and doesn’t exaggerate tOO much to the point that it’s obnoxious!!
and he doesn’t pick any story of yours!! he is vERY genuine!!!
[ sputters while drinking his iced tea ] “jimin cockblocked aGAIN???”
[ crouches to the floor when you went out to the mall alone because he didn’t want to and ended up meeting owen wilson, the guy who voiced lightning mcqueen ] “WHAT??????? YOU WHAT????? YOU’RE TELLING ME WHAT???????”
[ sobs because he didn’t meet owen wilson ] “i’m just so *wails* i’m just rEGRETTING every *heaves* single decision i made a-and *fans tears* i should’ve just went with you :(((”
[ giggles and shrieks continuously for ten minutes and keeps hugging you because you bought him those big boots that you call romper stompers for his birthday ] “you did nOT!! oh my god they’re really mine?? MINE??? you’re telling me that these are mINE now??? omg omg i could die rn y/n i swear i LOVE YOU!!! i’m not gonna step on u i swear :(( thank you thank you :(((”
yoongi couldn’t be anymore smiley
like sure enough, his mind should only stay in the game when he is in the game
he can’t think about what he wants for dinner later that night or let his thoughts drift because otherwise, hE’S the one that’s going to drift
but maybe
just maybe when he’s at the last stretch and hobi’s already crossed the finish line and the closest driver behind him is like lmao a kilometer away
he just can’t help thinking about you!! and the napkin bed you made for his caffeine pill!! and how he doesn’t get why he’s never talked to you before because like you’re cute n all :D
he’s never seen a pit crew member talk back to jimin like that before and yeah sure you’re playful but not overstepping it ya know
“so jimin,,, y/n, amirite?”
jimin’s a lil bit confused because uhhh yoongi has never talked to him
about you before but he’s not that bothered
“... yeah?”
...
...
“jimin this is the part where you tell me about y/n”
“how was i supposed to know? you only said her name!! is that like a signal or wHAT??”
“couldn’t i be anymore obvious??”
the bottom line is that yoongi got a crash course when it came to you and he couldn’t be any more grateful for jimin
he’s also confirmed that jungkook isn’t ur boyfriend but that’s kinda debatable because jimin added an “i’m not eNTIRELY sure though” and yoongi hates him for it!!
there’s just something about yoongi that you can’t shake off
and you don’t wanna fall that deep because it’s just a crush!! just a harmless crush and u know you aren’t probably gonna stand a chance :((
although you’re just gonna keep that to yourself because kook will probably lecture you for five minutes and THEN smack you in the head because you’re bringing yourself down again
jungkook knows you’re a natural ace like c’mon yoongi’s just gonna be a piece of cake!!
yeah sure yoongi doesn’t initiate conversation with your or barely holds eye contact and can barely remember your name, only recalls you as part of his team, and can be ignoring the things you’re doing for him bUT I MEAN THAT’S NOT ALWAYS THE DETERMING FACTORS, RIGHT??right??
pls say right
jungkook’s convincing himself as much as you’re convincing yourself that u have a chance with yoongi
you can’t help it :((
you love that smile!! that smile when he knows how good he’s done that he automatically could tell that he’d be getting an extra point since he’s the one who was the fastest on that lap!or that laugh when he pops out a cork of champagne once again and he’s getting the hang of it
his calm demeanor looks so cute even when he isn’t even doing anything in particular and how it could be so hot especially when his stare’s just rigid
you’ve been in celebratory going out parties in bars with your team to know that yoongi’s just boisterous and chatty when he gets drunk
he even gets cLINGY to whoever’s sitting beside him and it’s usually jimin and he can even make jimin yield to having oNE more shot with him :((
in meetings too!!!
yoongi’s personal style is just mostly black and sometimes when he’s feeling spicy, he’d add in some random pastels or perhaps even a small nEON detail
his cheeks tooyou just wanna kiss them so bad :(((
they’re so plump and full whenever he pouts and smiles and you have to gRIP your fist just to get rid of the l*nging in your system
YOONGI HAS PIERCED EARS TOO
MULTIPLE PIERCINGS!!!you’ve never seen him wear earrings tho and that’s saddening
jewelry, most especially on drivers, is just a big no-no because just in cAse the driver catches on fire or not, it’s still a big hazard
you once saw yoongi walking in the hallway just as you were about to exit the elevator to go to ur hotel room and he was wearing a wATCH
u almost went feral goddamn
you see yoongi again after your caffeine pill advance on him? a necklace, maybe? those thick chain bracelets like the ones jungkook wears? him wearing rings? it could be a blinged-out diamond band or a heart-shaped plastic ring from a kinder egg and you would sTILL GO FERAL
“i just wish — j-just wish that red string lovers exist in real life, y’know, kook?? do you get what i’m saying?”
jungkook wishes that was a real thing too
you’re just a bit vulnerable because u have some alcohol in your system
a little bit emotional
meanwhile jungkook is just straight up bland and is up for no fun
three-drink jungkook is boring
you should see five-drink jungkook!! hE’S A WILD ONE that could backflip with a 70% success rate of not throwing up after
“i do. i wish that red string lovers do exist. kind of like that movie, kimi no nawa. i love that movie.”
...
“... jungkook. omg a-are you saying i should like, tie a red string on my pinky and tHEN on yoongi’s pinky!! in this way, i could always be connected to him and we’re like never gonna stay away from each other!!”
...
“i believe that would be called stalking.”
“no i meant fIGURATIVELY”
this three-drink jungkook is no fun
what you’re gonna do is get him to drink more because the motto for pit crew members is “drink as if it’s your last because it IS!!!”
drinking kinda messes up workout routines and the semi-strict diet the members are put on to ensure you’re all strong and enduring
so drinking is just reserved for wins or when the crew chief allows it and MAYBE just maybe when you and kook decide to get a lil sip and sharing a can won’t hurt :D
“okay, okay. another one!! drink another one!!”
you have to physically make jungkook drink because he doesn’t wanna hold the shot glass claiming that it’s too dirty and before he gets iffy even more, you just bring the glass to his lips and even put a hand underneath his chin because you are tHAT great of a friend
sometimes you just need to credit yourself for being a really great best friend to jungkook
four-drink jungkook is a BUNNY
he’s starting to ascend to his five-drink state and therefore through the process, he’s crinkling his nose more
the nose crinkle and the smile that highlights his two front teeth has always been in effect but this one’s just more persistent
he doesn’t hop like a bunny tho or like even stand because that’s six-drink dance bot jungkook’s moves
instead
he just-
cHOMPFS
jungkook’s just biting down on your shoulder SOFTLY
the same gentleness of a golden retriever with an egg on its mouth!!he’s not nibbling or biting down or anything!! he’s just oMPH :D
there’s no rhyme or reason to why he’s doing this and you’re unsure either lmao you’ve told him before what he does drunk when he’s sober and he goes?? lol what i do tHAT???
you don’t mind honestly
you’re thankful that you’re wearing a black hoodie and it’s made with a fluffy cotton material!! it’s a win-win and u can even feel jungkook smiling
the alcohol isn’t hitting you JUST yet but u. r aware that you’re getting a tad more chatty now and then suddenly you’re telling jungkook a summary of this sugar stars episode in which they were supposed to make cupcakes for this luxury jewelry brand and in oNE of the cupcakes there should be like a necklace worth thousands of dollars bUT THEY FORGOT IF THEY ALREADY PUT IT IN THE BATCH AND-
“hey, is this guy bothering you, y/n?”
you hear a velvety voice interrupting you and it’s oddly familiar
said person extends his hand to put on your shoulder and you kinda jolt at the sudden contact and it’s just goosebumps“.... yoongi?”
:O
yoongi’s on your left side and u could clearly see him nowhE LOOKS LIKE HE’S ABOUT TO SQUARE UP
i mean truth be told he wASN’T supposed to be here because after placing 3rd he just didn’t wanna go part because for wHAT and he wanted to go to bed instead
but them jimin called him and asked if he was sure because like... the entire team is here and the owner of the bar is a FAN and all drinks are on the house so,,,
he jUST got here and while he was looking for jimin, the first thing he sees is the back of your head (he’s memorized it hehe) and a guy bITING DOWN ON YOUR SHOULDER and yours hands are gesturing and shit
and so he’s beyond confused to see you confused over seeing him all confused and perhaps protective
“yoongi!!”
u practically squeal and ur not gonna hide that
although he just ignores that because he’s focused on some more pressing matters at hand
“man, seriously, what the fuck? can you just back off-“
yoongi is literally about to pull jungkook away from you because up to now this dude is NOT reading the room and the fact that he is 2 seconds away from decking him
“no nO yoongi!! it’s okay lol he’s my best friend! he’s not-“
there’s a delay on words sinking to jungkook’s ears so he’s just now reacting lmao
“mfhsIR thif if mY EMOFYONAL FUPPORT MFFSHOULDER”
jungkook’s angrily lifting his eyes but not his face with it so he’s-
oH THAT’S YOONGI :D
“this is my friend who’s kinda drunk and bITES my shoulder when he’s drunk aha jungkook!! say hi, gguk”
“hI YOOMGIIII!!! i’m jungmkook :D”
kook takes a quick second to lift himself off your shoulder to give an eager wave to yoongi
oH that face is familiar
jungkook?
jungkook jungkook oH THIS IS THE JUNGKOOK HE ASKED JIMIN ABOUT
whew
honestly he was kinda scared because when yoongi got a closer look when he was fuming, jungkook looked like a big buff guy and he was a little scared because-oh jungkook just went back to biting your shoulder ://
“i thought you weren’t gonna come?”
“i thought i was gonna fight sOMEONE”
hehe
you can’t help but feel a lil bit happy that omg yoongi cares for u
and although he’s mistakened jungkook as a pervert whose modus operandi is to bite at shoulders, it’s still the thought that counts!!!!
your right shoulder that has kook attached to it feels indifferent and your left shoulder that yoongi touched for a second is ON FIRE
be still, be calm. be still, be calm. be still, be — OMG YOONGI IS SITTING BESIDE YOU FUCK
“it’s jungkook, right?”
he, for sure, knows that it is jungkook alright but he just wants to ask u know
just to be sure
although you’re kinda oblivious to the fact that he’s directing the question to you more than to jungkook himsELF bc you’re very much swayed by his gummy smile
“yeah!! he’s jungkook, alright :D”
“this might be a stupid question to ask but uh i’ve just never seen him oR like maybe it might just be my memory but jungkook’s in our team, right??? or like nO?”
“o-oh aHA about that yoongi,, sir,, actually jungkook isn’t in our team, ya know? but he DOES support us and is like whoosh a fAN of you :))”
he is having too much fun with this one
“really? but i saw him in the box before, with you, i think? lol u silly goose if you have a boyf-“
“jUNGKOOK ISN’T MY BOYFRIEND! he never was!! yoongi trust me i am very single right now i mean it!! 100%”
“are you sure? like-“
“he’s just my best friend ever since college and we’re not a thing i sWEAR!! you see him in the box sometimes because he just needs someone to buy him nachos from the stalls aND he’s a pit stop crew member for jung hoseok-“
you’d like to think that you are diffusing this situation very well
“-and that tOTALLY doesn’t matter because pfft?! i don’t even know jung hoseok like wHAAAAAT does he uhm race or sth?? whew am i right lmao can i get an amen? ᵖˡˢ ˢᵃʸ ˢᵒᵐᵉᵗʰᶦⁿᵍ ᵖˡˢ”
yoongi already knows this bit of information and his eye does twitch at the mention of hoseok like how mr. bean is with mozambique but it’s COOL seeing you flustered is getting a really cheesy smile out of him
“do you rap?”
“no but do you want me to”
yoongi snorts and giggles at that and meanwhile you are getting THE nervous sweats because obviously you weren’t prepared for this
damn it :( you should’ve just kept jungkook sober so he could “wingman the fUCK out of you” in his own words
the only thing you could do that’s the closest to rapping is have jungkook beatbox in the background while u go bow chicka wowow bow cHICKA WOW :((
“you’re funny.”
yoongi’s still kinda dying at giggling throughout the whole interaction but he really means it sincerely ok
QUICK IS THAT A COMPLIMENT OR AN INSULT
“thanks :))”
fUck it you should’ve just said a one-liner or something, not a timid thanks or would that be trying too hard
you are getting too panicked and nervous now and the only out you see is-
“ggukie!! you want another drink?”
bless up
bless jungkook’s soul for immediately agreeing and before you know it, you’re lifting another shot glass to his lips with a hand underneath his chin
you’re gonna help him with his hangover tomorrow because he’s saving yOUR ass by easing the tension of how pATHETICALLY nervous you are with yoongi
yoongi’s persevering too because this jungkook guy has hands.. what?? does he drink his water from a formula bottle??? DOES HE NEED MILK
chile why is he getting jealous
it’s not like he’s become fond of you nor got attached to this girl that gave him a caffeine pill placed on a napkin bed after much observation of him and the sentiment behind it just makes him mushy
lol
couldn’t be him :))
:)
...
....
SIKE IT’S HIM THAT’S HIM :(((
“YOOOOOOONGIIIIIIIIIII!!!”
oh god 
oh no
it’s a drunk jimin :(
a drunk, happy, gIGGLY JIMIN
“Y/NNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!”
you’re quite surprised at the sight because uH you’re used to jimin the grumpy crew chief
nOt jimin the giggly person who’s giggling at the little rainbows ur bracelet makes when the light hits it and who’s complimenting your hoodie sO HARD
mom come pick me up im scared
“y/n O-M-G where did you get those earrings because they r the bomb dot COM”
“jimin what did u drink because i am LOVING it”
“a pomelo gin mix or like fOUR of them.”
yoongi answers for jimin because he knows all too well
woop jimin’s hugging him now and his grip is tight o-okay i guess i’ll... keep you... still?
it’s not jimin’s fault :( he just likes pretty drink i mean could u blame him :(((
“aish those pack a punch for sure. you could barely taste the gin because of the juice-“
“-but it gets you drunk nonetheless no matter how much you drink it.”
:D
:D
you and yoongi are straight up CONNECTING right now vibing if u will
“yeah and some light it up on fire then take it out so it would taste smoother and seamless!!”
that’s it he’s had enough yoongi will propose to you rIGHT NOW he thought he was the only one who knew that fact
oR KNEW THE DIFFERENCE
or knew the reason for it that isn’t just to make it look cool
oh man you feel so sorry for pegging yoongi as just one of those “all beers taste the same” dudes in senior year :’’’)
“jUNGKOOOOOOOK!!!”
jimin kinda ruins the moment by opening his mouth being all excited as he points excitedly to look at who’s beside you
“YOOOOOOOOOONGIIIIIII!!!!”
“oh oh! shh!!! you’re not supposed to be here but it’s ok jungkooooook!!! i’ll just close my eyes!!!”
“h-hey guys *hiccup* have you seen jimin? because i can’t see him!!”
that’s not... that’s not how it works...
jungkook is giggling so hard and jimin’s gonna roll over anytime if it isn’t for yoongi holding him
“omg jungkook’s earrings look like windchimes :D”
“y/n omg jIMIN’S RIGHT! they do look like windchimes :D”
“i bet they also sOUND LIKE WINDCHIMES :D” jimin’s leaping out of yoongi’s hold eagerly and the both of u just know that this is gonna go bad
he’s about to faceplant because he’s slipping the moment he decided to break free
it’s a good thing you’re catching him and jimin’s embracing you now while
his legs are slack on the floor and jungkook the drunk dumbass thought it was an emergency
and in times of emergency apparently, jungkook’s move is try and hop on your back for a piggyback ride“okay, okay, time to get off y/n now!!”
yoongi chuckles as he pries jimin off of you and onto himself instead
jungkook sTILL won’t give up into having a piggyback ride from you hmp
“hey, wanna split an uber?
”you like that idea very much :D“who’s gonna sit with them at the back, though?”
“you can give me your number and i’ll volunteer tribute :))”:D
that’s good
this is good
yeah sure yoongi might’ve had to sit in the middle of jimin and jungkook that are messes
and has to endure it when young, wild and free by wiz khalifa came on aND
jimin went owo “young sound like yoongi omg”
and jungkook went and followed and the whole lyrics were yoongi wild and yoongi free
but that’s ok
that’s okay!!!
he had to say goodbye to you two floors early because that’s where jungkook’s room is and u need to tuck him in
the most he could do was walk you to the door while having a sleepy jimin use him as a crutch
all worth it though :))
“thanks for tonight, yoongi :))”
and there’s just this tentative silence because the both of you kinda felt dejected because you didn’t want tonight to end, truthfully
you press a tentative lil kiss on his cheek and
:O
“good night.”
yoongi’s cheek is tingling aHHHHHH HE’S ABOUT TO BURST
that’s so precious
YOU’RE SO PRECIOUS
alcohol doesn’t fix everything bUT ON RARE OCCASIONS IT COULD BE A BRIDGE
jungkook woke up with a killer headache because apparently when you and yoongi weren’t looking, jimin let him have a sip of his drink and he was immediately :O
but you did lessen it to an amount!!!!!
he could barely register what happened last night but what he did remember is yOONGI
just yoongi
aND THAT MEANS HE COULDN’T REMEMBER UR LITTLE CHEEK KISS :D
eventually you’d tell him but not now
jungkook’s all smiles when you were telling him on how you tucked him to bed and eVEN caved into giving him a piggyback ride
your explanation of you making him drink a full bottle of water and then some more is the reason to why he felt bloated and every time he moved in his deep sleep he was just sLOSHING around
although you didn’t get to do his skincare routine on him because he likes tapping his face
and tapping jungkook’s face while he’s drunk is like choosing death because he’d think that there were little ants on his face and he’d freak the fUck out
so you just took a makeup wipe to get the dirt off his face and put on a face mask!! minimal effort!! maximum results!! efficiency :D
yours and jimin’s dynamic is chANGING FOR THE BETTER he’s getting warmer to you now!!!
you did tease him one time about the pomelo gin drink and he glared at you
but then you whispered to his ear
“if it’s between your choice of pomelo pink gin and yoongi’s whiskey? i’d pick pink gin all the way :D”
jimin gasped out loud
friendship? bUILDING
you and yoongi??
safe to say that you’re on the closer side :D
i mean tECHNICALLY you aren’t on the commitment boat yet or like… you haven’t had a date yet…. or held hands…..
but you’re getting there!!! iT’S A PROCESS
you’ve always been his supporter in the sidelines but now u r a full-pledged cheerleader for him in the moments that you aren’t tending to his car or tending to work
practice sessions are held starting two days before the race
it’s literally just for practice and it’s for the driver to get familiar and to test out some things that may need to be tweaked furthermore
this is the only time the drivers get to drive the cars besides the actual race itself
and the race is held on sunday!!!!
two practice sessions on friday that last one and a half hours each
and a final practice session on saturday that lasts for an hour
obviously you’re there
bUT when you’re not in use, you just completely revert to cheering for yoongi by the barrier!!!“GO YOONGS!!!!!”
jimin sends you a look to keep it down because even though he has his headphones on he could sTILL hear you
you shut up of course but not without waving your hands in the air whenever yoongi’s car comes into your view :D
in qualifying sessions too!!! these are to determine the driver’s grid positions in the actual race
and eVERY driver’s goal is to earn pole position, the front-most and most advantageous position from the starting line!!!
pole position doesn’t automatically mean that you’re the winner but it does help the driver to ace at that closer!!!
you shut up in qualifying sessions because in fact, you’re nervous too there are six more races to this whole season and each one is important because yoongi and hobi?? they’re just neck-to-neck with their scores and although yoongi’s on the lead, he could nEVER BE COMPLACENT
yoongi’s pole-sitter undoubtedly with his performance and then could you breathe a sigh of relief :))
he’s stripping his racing suit slightly and by that he means taking off the velcro and getting the zipper undone and taking off his balaclava and
oBVIOUSLY his helmet
fact: race suits are extremely light but are sO HOT
yeah sure there’s been upgrades to it and that it has cooling properties now but u can’t exactly feel that when you’re gonna be in it for atleast an hour doing a proper race
his routine lately is going sTRAIGHT to you after he finishes whatever he’s doing
“you didn’t cheer me on :((“
“that’s because i was too busy rooting for you in my mind :))”
“well then root for me with your mOUTH”
“what”
“wHAT??”
yoongi’s just being a little petty and cranky, that’s all
it doesn’t mean that he doesn’t give much affection, he automatically doesn’t want to rECEIVE it :(((
admittedly, you’re kinda cutting off from the physical affection with yoongi lately because jungkook quizzed you and you’re pretty sure that you were in a default :O after
“who texts first?”
“me!! our schedules don’t exactly match up because he has a different trainer than our pit crew does but i just wanna wake up extra early to send him a text :))”
“who sleeps earlier?”
“yoongi!! lmao he loves resting whenever he can aND he even brings this diffuser with him whenever we gor from hotel to hotel!!”
“who goes to who more frequently?”
“oOoOhhh i love visiting yoongi!!! whenever i surprise him he just looks so shocked and eventually it sinks in to him”
“who exerts more effort?”
“kook i — oH.,..,.”
of course jungkook is so happy for you because look at you!! you went from admiring yoongi from afar to hanging out with him actively and even going so far as to have him kiss your cheek once!!
but no matter how supportive he is, he jus wants to be as realistic too because he doesn’t want you hurt
yes he admires how you are with him but like mAYBE you’re far in too deep and yoongi is not on the same level
and so you just came to the conclusion that maybe you were just being too enthralled in it to not see that yoongi doesn’t find the concept of you
and him together as desired as you found it to be
:((
and so maybe you’ve been detaching yourself lately
you stay in bed sleeping for as long as you’d like, and the only alarm clock you have is jimin ringing the bell on your door to let you know that training
was to start
jimin quickly catched on to what you were doing because he’s seeing less of you around yoongi??? surprisingly???
and he just couldn’t keep it in to not know what was happening so he asked jungkook
then jungkook was positively surprised and happy because jimin???? coming to him personally to ask???? omg he is gonna spill of course and so jimin was like eh… it’s the least i could do i guess….
five rings of the doorbell to wake you up
seven rings to let you know that training’s gonna start in ten minutes
ten rings to oPEN YOUR DAMN DOOR
you didn’t linger around yoongi unnecessarily and you weren’t sending those specifically niche templates you see on instagram that make you laugh
he doesn’t receive the “you’re a daughter of an astronaut and a swimmer and you’re not sure which aesthetic to pick because you’re too dizzy from accidentally inhaling chlorine in the big-ass man-made pool since you intern at nasa and u just need to lie down” lookbooks :(
he thought of it as nothing at first because eh they’re just little things!!! he barely notices anyway
WRONG
yoongi feels so devastated because why :(( won’t :(( you just :(( hUG HIM OUT OF THE BLUE LIKE YOU ALWAYS DO
these days he feels so on edge because aHa!! anytime now, y/n’s gonna hug me :D
but then you dON’T
yoongi put on extra perfume because you like burrowing your nose to his neck whenever you hug him and wHY aren’t you hugging him
wait maybe it’s the perfume that’s throwing you off??
nevermind he’s gonna buy another hundred-dollar bottle of a different perfume it’s ok nO WORRIES and sometimes you don’t join the team breakfast and yoongi’s all lost
because hMmM??? i got u these pancakes a-and i already put the butter and the syrup….. why aren’t you here…
you’re with jungkook and his team knows about your friendship and how it came to be and they’re all just eH it’s okay y/n’s cool anyways :))
hobi’s so kind
jungkook sits in the same table as hobi and therefore that means you sit beside kook and u have no choice because he WILL insist
not because you’re his friend but also because he’s too lazy to stand and get another serving so he’ll just steal some from your plate
hobi eVEN offers to refill your glass with orange juice because his is gone too and he’s gonna get more anyway :))
yoongi can’t go over it though and he’s just wallowing because first, hoseok’s aiming for his title that he wants to retain, and nOW HOSEOK’S COMING FOR HIS Y/N???
ok his might be a little bit of a reach because he hasn’t asked you out yet but he iS getting there
he swears that he feels so lost without u :((
and so yoongi’s persistent and he vouched his day-off to be aligned with your gym day aaaand he’s here now :D
he’s right behind you!!
“hiii.”
yoongi squeezes in on the space left at your side
well you dIDN’T expect yoongi today clearly“hi pls back up a little i mAY accidentally kick you :D”
you’re doing pull-ups at the moment and you’re getting the hang of doing them!! even if this used to be the bane of your existence in your workout program and you’d sell your soul just for jungkook to call you and cry on the phone and pretend he stubbed his toe or something to get out of training
so tHAT’S yoongi’s greeting??? :((
“i haven’t seen you lately”
“hmm? i see you everyday, yoongs”
“rEALLY??”
you’re only discovering now that while doing pull-ups, you can aLSO make and maintain conversation!!
yoongi’s a bit sarcastic because your full attention isn’t on him and he guesses that it’s a given when you’re working out bUt are you even hearing what he’s saying :((
“doesn’t feel like it, though.”
ok that one made you falter a little bit
“how can you say??”
he practically huffs at that and that also goes noticed
how can you not know that???
he’s a patient person but with you, he just gets sO eager and whiney and now he just can’t cope!!!
just when he thought you were finally go down because you were slowing your movements, you were oNLY doing that just to regain your momentum for another set AND!!!
fine then :))
yoongi’s jumping up and his hands wrap around the higher bar snugly, his body pressed to yours
he’s so close oh my god yOONGI’S SO CLOSE TO YOU
you’re suspended in air and a bit breathless and yoongi’s just hanging slack and he’s about to burst into a smile because uH success!!!
his lips look so kISSABLE and his cheeks are plump and his eyes are v enchanting and wHEW you’re sweating at this point and it’s nOt from working out
yoongi only tilts his head as he earns the reaction he wanted and more :D
“who’s your trainer? sehun?”
“y-yeaHh???”
“m’kay.”
he’s not content just yet and for a split second, yoongi tilts his face to the side of yOUR face and his lip barely brush to the shell of your ear
“i’ll pull you out of this one. eat lunch with me.” the sound of yoongi dropping back down to the floor makes you jOLT because oh.,., oh that rEALLY DID JUST HAPPEN HUH
what a menace
your heart is too weak for yoongi
you are sO whipped :’’’)
so whipped that you cave into jungkook’s demands
jungkook’s aLWAYS been your sticker guy
he just has stickers… that he either makes or acquires but he isn’t telling where from… and either gives or sells them to u
he has this label maker too that could print your name on or whatever you want to put on your stuff
he would even input little stars or little hearts or even lil dinosaurs if you want him to!!!
you don’t know how and why but wHEREVER you go, jungkook always has stickers on him
AND THIS IS REALLY SPECIAL OK
you specifically told jungkook to curate like a ten-pack out of the things you told him about yoongi
he has the reigns aS LONG as he thinks (and it better be) that it screams min yoongi!!
it’s just that you wanna give gifts to yoongi and you don’t need aNY occasion just to give presents
you were deep in thought and your head blanked and then went…
stickers…. get him stickers
snickers???
…. stickers ….
sNEAKERS???
…. stickers dUMB BITCH i said stickers!!!! …..
lol u love ur mind
and when you said that to jungkook, he fell both honored AND pressured like what if yoongi decides not to like you anymore because of your (his) sticker choices
what then
damn ur wrong for this
jeez jungkook’s becoming the backbone of your blossoming relationship ://
sigh but it’s cool,, jungkook’s used to becoming a fundamental part to society
jungkook’s ringing your bell so early in the morning because he just got done last night with completing his collection!! and you iMMEDIATELY need to see it as per his insistence
ok they r pretty cool
there’s yoongi’s name in a really cool yet sophisticated font that just screamed yoongi to you!!
there’s Agust D in a big bold formal font!! you remember that story of how yoongi was born and raised briefly in daegu then they had to move and he misses his hometown
he was about to use Agust D as his name when he first tried out for racing but the name itself made so many heads turn so he was just,,, too spicy,,,
i’ll make it suga
OMG YOUR INITIALS
jungkook’s wild for that one but omg you’re giggling because wow u like that
“clouds?? and the sky’s purple??”
“i think eVERYBODY likes clouds”
“well some pilots don’t”
“what makes them think that clouds like them back?”
wait
“a cat??… flipping me off???”
“lol ok funny story but yoongi flipped me off once LMAOOO”
“… he did what”
“i’ll tell u the story later but this, THIS — okay i don’t know if it’s just me, but yoongi looks like a cat, y’know?? like i sWEAR i could see cats in him, and then i see him in cats. do you get me??”
“gguk-“
“and he wears headbands, right? LOOK I EVEN DREW HIM A HEADBAND!! :D”
ok you aren’t gonna lie
this ten-pack goes pretty fucking hard if you may say so
“how much do i owe you, kook?”
“that would be fifty dollars :D”
“fifty wait wHAT?? FIFTY DOLLARS?? WHAT??? JUNGKOOK SAY SIKE”
psh atleast it was worth a shot
“fine. tHIRTY dollars.”
“THIRTY DOLLARS?????”
you know for a fact that these ten stickers aREN’T worth tHIRTY DOLLARS
the highest jungkook’s ever charged you is $10 for a pack of ninety-nine he even took one from the sticker booklet and he only said that after he sold it to u
you both know that these aren’t $30 :((
it’s always a take it or leave it situation because you know hobi is a sucker for stickers :((
“…. fine.” you pull thirty dollars from your wallet and that’s thirty dollars ur never gonna get back
jungkook’s a bit frazzled because wHAT
you actually gave him tHIRTY dollars??
they don’t even cOST _____ dollars!!!
it’s just awkward now when he tries to take back what he said
“… as a special gift.,.,. i’m gonna put them.,.,. in a nice envelope.,., that i uh doodled hearts on…”
quick if jungkook was a seller on redbubble, how many stars would you rate him
this better have a gREAT PAYOFF
spoiler alert: it did!!!
YOONGI LOVES THEM
“i mean i’m not saying you should put these on your race car because i kNOW every gram matters on it and like — sTICKERS!! u can stick them anywhere am i right :D”
:O
“do you uh,, do you like it? ˡᵃʸ ᶦᵗ ᵈᵒʷⁿ ᵍᵉⁿᵗˡʸ ᵒⁿ ᵐᵉ ᵖˡᵉᵃˢᵉ”
“y/n bABY ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? i love them sO MUCH!! like look aH OMG IT’S ME THAT’S — I’M SUPPOSED TO BE THIS CAT RIGHT???”
it went great!!!
above and beyond than what you expected
“thank you thank you dO YOU KNOW that you’re the best eVER :(((“
yoongi is so touched and awed over a pack of sTICKERS and it’s the little joys and you that make him the happiest
he’s so excited and pumped because he can’t pick on where to put them because they’re so precious and in the same time he doesn’t wanna use them because they’re tOO precious
yoongi’s about to kiss your cheek in the same time you wanna explain some of them and-
oh
he’s kissing the corner of your mouth
he only realizes when you squeak a little and he feels just so unexplainable with pure bliss that’s going through his body omg
and then yoongi pulls away to gauge your reaction because he was iNITIALLY gonna go for a cheek kiss but now that’s out of the bank because he wants more and-
oh god his cheeks are already on fire and tHIS WAS JUST A KISS TO THE CORNER OF YOUR MOUTH ACCIDENTALLY
it’s time to clear his throat and attempt to clear his mind“is uHhH sehun? 
sehun the trainer today?”
“yeaH it’s sehun…”
yoongi please say what i want you to say
pleathe
“i can — i cAN bail you out, if you want.,.. you uH ˢʰᶦᵗ do you wanna go karting with me?? like, right now??? it’s okay if you don’t wanna bUt i mean ᶠᵘᶜᵏ uhHhH-“
“yeah :)) i wanna go karting with you :))”
yoongi’s a mess and hE’S the nervous one now and he keeps scratching the back of his neck and he can’t maintain eye contact
he was about to explain that he’s not pressuring you wait dID YOU JUST SAY
“yes?? yeah?? oH that’s cool :D”
“do i need to get changed or-“
i mean you’re still in your workout leggings and a big black shirt jungkook has an aBUNDANCE of so u just stole one and tried out embroidery!!
it’s not the best aha
kinda ugly because it’s massive on you and u just take it off whenever the workout progresses to be harder
“no!! no!! don’t worry!! i’ll bring my backpack!! just take yourself, y/n, i’ll take care of you ʷᵃᶦᵗ ʷᵃᶦᵗ aHA!!! i’ll pack my shirts for you and water and like snacks omg i will be back in fIVE minutes!!!”
there’s kinda no protest since yoongi’s already dashing out of your hotel room and into his… and he’s leaving you alone and he swears that this will only take fIVE minutes
he’s a nervous wreck
but yOU are too
because wait
this is your first date!!
THIS COUNTS AS YOUR FIRST DATE
oh god you are gonna cOMBUST
it did take five minutes and perhaps even earlier!!
yoongi’s managed to even get a cap for you and sUNBLOCK
he has a driver hired and that’s kinda ironic because hE’S the driver but he doesn’t mind!!!
he’s sitting with you at the second row and you’ve never really properly been out the city ever since you got here because leisure trips aren’t exactly in your schedule
the buildings and the scenery are so cool and authentic and yoongi’s just staring at you as you stare out :(((
why are you so beautiful :(((
he’s envisioned taking you out for go-karting as your first date but nOT NOW
yoongi’s accidentally kissed you once on the corner of your mouth and he is now forever a changed man
his mind immediately went wOOP take y/n karting nOW
yoongi has a pinterest board with ideas for a first date
picnics are cute but there’s just so much aNTS and mosquitoes and flies would go to ur food when you turn away for a single second!!!
not to mention that he never checks the weather reports lmao
and grass with how soggy they could he eVEN if it didn’t rain???
disgusting
there’s always the option of dinner dates too
but sometimes they could be just SO boring and it’s a hit or miss whether you’d like the food because you don’t like overly fancy restaurants y’know
not to mention that they r overrated and the food isn’t that good to your taste bUT maybe that’s just you
he’s searched this place up a couple days ago and look!!! they have karts that have tWO seats on them
maybe he could rent out the place or pull out the “no it’s MIN YOONGI” card and he can drive you around and stuff :D
it’s postive to say that you’re vERY excited
“last one to cross the finish line buys the winner gifts for a whole week bYEEEE”
wait
that’s not-
tHAT’S NOT HOW THIS IS SUPPOSED TO GO
apparently this is how yOU want it to go
the idea of yoongi driving you around in go-karts didn’t cross your mind once
you thought that you were gonna race against him and gOD ARE YOU SO EXCITED
you work on cars not drive in cars
the closest you’ve ever went to karting is going on bumper cars when jungkook took you to the amusement park!!!
it’s not racing because all you and kook did was bump the other as mUCH as possible to the point that the attendant was :/// are they ok
you know how to drive!!!
not to flex or anything but u dO have a professional driver’s license aha :D
although that doesn’t mean shit if ur kinda being honest
do you know how to drift a car like what they do in fast and the furious?? probably yes
jungkook was “breaking in” his car and he took you to the dealership with him and the car just felt so sTIFF and then he saw an empty parking lot….
and well you didn’t exactly STOP him because it isn’t your car
how could you stop someone from doing something that you yourself wANT to do
can you drive as fast as yoongi?? possibly yes
will it be as clean and as easy as he makes it to be?? heck no
yoongi’s chasing after you because oh you are dEDICATED now to racing against him
you’re even scrambling to put your race suit on iN FRONT OF HIM and it makes him all flustered as he tries to keep up by turning and putting on his own
“now don’t go easy on me, okay???”
yoongi’s a bit confused because what did u just say
not to fuel his ego or anything but madame he is a race car driver and it runs in his blood and the skill is in his name
he loves u (although he hasn’t said that yet) but he doesn’t want to ruin all your hopes and dreams
“just race as what you normally do and i’ll do my oWN!!! :D”
o-okay
you’re fast!!!as fast as go-karts could go!!!
you even turned down yoongi’s offer of a ten-second head start because wHERE’S THE FUN IN THAT
you are as happy and as giddy as you could ever be
yoongi, on the other hand, is worried a ton
you’re still a bit cautious when it comes to curves and to turning and
yoongi’s heart physically stops whenever you go through them because now you’re starting to pick up the pace around them
you’re getting used to the curves as you go on and you’re starting to maintain speed aND go through curves smoothly
he’s happy that you’re happy but god he’s just tERRIFIED okay
the list of what could possibly go wrong is evading his mind and for god’s sake, he’s a rACE CAR DRIVER HIMSELF!!!!! with custom top-speed cars and not go-karts!!! and not once did this list cross his mind whenever he drives
it’s just now hitting him that his profession’s dangerous
but your profession tOO is dangerous!!!
you may not be the driver put you are a part of the pit stop crew that tends to the car the driver’s racing!!!!
fIRES!!! pneumatic torque guns that are sO DANGEROUS!!!! wheels!!!!! gas!!!!! the driver himself when he’s in a rush and could possibly injure people along the way!!!!!
yoongi’s going down on a spiral so harsh that he didn’t even notice that not only did you pass him, but you’re also farther away from him sIGNIFICANTLY and before he knows it, you finished first!!
:D
“yoongs yoongs did you see me dID YOU SEE ME?????? :D”
you jump up to yoongi the moment he gets out of his kart and he instantly catches you and puts his hands underneath your thighs to secure you
your arms are even around his neck and you are incredibly close to yoongi more than you could ever wrap your head around
“mhmmmm ‘course i did!!”
he mindlessly hums and he just takes the time to see you up close like this before you realize and yelp later on because ur flustered
god yoongi’s never cared for anyone this much before
he’s falling in so hard
and that’s not necessarily a bad thing, right?
the moment you stop talking and gushing is the moment you realize that yoongi’s been awfully quiet all throughout, making you look down and-
yoongi’s kissing you
for rEAL this time
god he is putty in your hands and he’s extremely mushy
your lips are sO soft that he feels like he could die a happy man
you don’t know if your getting this adrenaline from the rush you got from winning or if it’s just the desire to kiss him for so long that’s fueling you but either way
yoongi feels a little tug on his roots and that instinctively makes him kiss you a little deeper
his kisses taste so gOOD TOO
although you DO need to breathe every once in awhile
:D
yoongi has the biggest gummy smile on his face and his legs feel like giving out because he feels sO HAPPY
you don’t fight the grin on your face either because wow :D that was just wHoosh!!! the suspense built up to it was incomparable oh god the tENSION before
he doesn’t mind losing then :)
“one more? :D”
oh god u are rEALLY whipped for yoongi
and this puts the two of you on ANOTHER level okay
he’s gotten more affectionate and showy almost
jimin’s kinda concerned because sometimes he sees yoongi smiling out of the blue and he’s just…. what is this guy ON…..
jungkook’s so excited and happy for you!!!
he keeps pushing that this wouldn’t have happened if it isn’t for his overpriced stickers
he wants you to tell him EVERYTHING
“yeah?? and tHEN WHAT????”
he is a little jealous however because not all your time is spent on hanging out with him anymore
or how a particular someone would be joining your hangouts from time to time aka yoongi being a third wheel
…. or maybe jungkook’s the third wheel ….
lol impossible :)))))))
[ jeon jungkook continiously tries to deny the truth to himself as always ]
he could be nosy yes bUT he’s always curious
although
“so he’s finally your boyfriend?”
he makes sense most of the times
now that you think about it.,.,.
wait
oh
wAIT YOONGI ISN’T YOUR BOYFRIEND
you aren’t sure either if there’s a label already set?????
because as far as you know, kissing someone doesn’t automatically translate to gREAT UR MY PARTNER IN LIFE NOW
oh no
it’s all good!!!
all good!!!!
you could open this up to yoongi later!!!
oh wait he’s busy
tomorrow then!!!!
uH nope he’s busy
the other day then :))
yoongi keeps getting busy and busy as he explains to the point that you’re in the same floor but you aren’t even seeing each other
he isn’t lying to you, right??
this isn’t about the kiss, right?????
goddamn you jungkook :((
the gears in your head are turning because oh god what if yoongi’s realized that he doesn’t want to commit to you
or that this is as long as a free netflix trial and your time’s up and you need to gO
it also feels oddly sketchy too because yoongi’s only become suddenly busy and almost unreachable ever since the kiss
it is, in fact, about the kiss
god yoongi himself feels that he’s an asshole
he’s suddenly second-guessing his decisions
he’s went down the rabbit hole of thinking that mAYBE you deserve better than him
his name’s kinda big and some rumors follow him too, whether it’s inside or outside the track
yoongi has a track record of ex-girlfriends as what the media wittily dubs it aND HE WON’T DENY IT OK
he does have some ex-girlfriends and his lovelife isn’t talked about within the team because they just treat rumors as rumors and it’s yoongi’s life anyway
but what if news breaks out that you and him are dating
and his track record is brought up once again
aND NOT JUST THAT
because yoongi also feels like he isn’t worthy enough for you :((
he could be bland and too blunt at some points
as opposed to you :(( who’s sometimes too kind and always tries to understand situations and won’t also take shit from anyone
he’s not as spontaneous or charismatic as jungkook
he can’t be as spontaneous as jungkook who’s willing to go to a halloween party with him as mater and you as lightning mcqueen aND PERHAPS IN THE LITERAL COSTUME KIND OR SOMEHOW CLOSE TO IT
he’s not as avid in things that you like as much as jungkook is
he’s just yoongi :((
and he feels like the whole yoongi for y/n thing isn’t enough :((
you haven’t seen yoongi though
and since today’s for the practice sessions, this is the time that you’re sURELy gonna see him!!!
that’s the problem though
because seeing someone doesn’t exactly guarantee that they’re gonna pay attention to you
in other words: you think that yoongi might be avoiding you :((
he wasn’t alone as he normally was and just when you were about to approach him, that’s when he left to go get changed
you have no choice too since he goes straight to the track and that was it!!
you’re sneaking in to reply to jungkook who’s asking for updates because he’s as committed to this scenario as much as you were
this is the last practice session anyway
you just want to get this over with so you could go confront yoongi and fix whatever is this that’s happening :((
it doesn’t help, really
doesn’t help when the practice session is over and what yoongi does the first thing when he finishes is not go back to where the team is
or perhaps just hop over the box like he usually does
he goes to kim dahyun,,
kim dahyun
she’s a heiress?? a socialite?? maybe both???
she’s someone who’s known to be always in the front seat when it comes to events
she’d be placed courtside in basketball games and in tennis tournaments and by the side of the runway when it’s fashion week
no one for sure knows why
but her most recent appearances have been banked in these racing weekends and wherever she goes is where articles follow :((
she’s just something else :((
she’s pretty and she’s rich and she’s kim dahyun 
she’s wearing your team’s novelty shirt and she has it tied up in the front 
dahyun has her hair up in a bun and she has this ribbon that corresponded with your team colors wrapped around it
she has these perfect-looking gel nails!! gel nails!!! you could see the shine all the way from here when she’s flashed at the monitor and is in fact a couple of feet away from you!!
the jewelry too :((
gel nails and jewelry are things you’ve always wanted to try out but could barely wear due to the nature of your job
and although they’re just little things, it kinda drives you crazy because you can’t help but feel like you’re having a burnout with your profession
the fact that yoongi’s going to her for reasons unbeknownst to you is enough to make your stomach drop
even puts his hand at the sMALL of her back and-
oh
even does this lil cheek kiss and she does it back with him and they talk
they talk
min yoongi goes to talk to kim dahyun and greet her like that
when you can’t even get the bare minimum of even a glance from him
“aRE YOU SEEING THIS??”
jungkook texts you and it’s the only momentary relief you get because this way, your eyes aren’t focused on them and your heart briefly stops hurting
“yeah.”
you wanna go back to the hotel
you don’t even wanna look at yoongi
you retreat to the furthest area away and just sit there while all this fuss blows over and how there are even some cheers upon seeing yoongi and dahyun up on the monitor
cool
that’s cool
your cheeks feel wet and you’re just wordlessly setting up and putting back the things that were needed for this session
mingyu, the fellow pit crew member who’s aloft from you and the other ones for most of the times even noticed and he was just ???
“y/n, y’okay?”
you can’t even bring yourself to be in surprise that he spoke to you because you’re too busy being sad 
“dust :)) it’s just dust :))”
but it’s not.,., it’s not even remotely windy.,..,
jungkook crashes to your room later that afternoon and stayed with you until you fell asleep
you’re not exactly cHATTY when you feel your heart breaking and kook’s well-aware
just wordlessly puts on whatever’s trending on netflix and puts it up for background noise :((
orders room service and nudges you until you agree to eat 
even strokes your hair because he could see some tears pricking at the corner of your eyes and jungkook automatically presses you to his chest
damn yoongi ://
yoongi’s kinda missing the texts and the calls you’d usually bombard with him 
but this time his phone’s silent
he knows at the back of his mind that this may be about dahyun awhile ago but at the same time, he doesn’t wanna entertain the thought because it’s harmless,,,, right??
dahyun was a friend before she became his girlfriend and tHEN his ex
and now they’re friends again
that’s not exactly harmful isn’t it
yoongi’s eyes keep going back to check his phone every two minutes just to see if there’s a notification from you
and if he gets one? he won’t ignore it he sWEARS
just atleast give him a text
even a passive-aggressive one that just has a single period on it
and hE knows that all of this is building up because of him :((
he’s not quite ready to admit that to himself though
oh my god is this the end for you and yoongi???
you haven’t even started with proper labels aND you’re already over???
this isn’t exactly the high road you always try to go through
but yoongi’s just beyond confusing and angering at this point and is being really uNFAIR
so if he won’t be open no matter how much you try to coax him at his won pace and decides to be immature about it.,.,,,
well you’re gonna stop adjusting :D
today’s the third to the last race and just like any other, it’s heated
you support yoongi the driver but you’re not in the best terms with yoongi the loVER
not a bad start honestly
yoongi didn’t get pole position but instead the third and he was a more than bummed because usually, when he didn’t get pole-sitter, he’d lean on to you for comfort and you’re gonna soothe him throughout
but no that didn’t happen yesterday
jimin just sighed and patted him on the back and said “just do good tomorrow” and how is tHAT gonna be on par with how you comfort him
he’s through about 3/4 into the race
and gOD it’s going seamless
but some things are just piling up and it’s making him completely confused
hobi’s already passed him and at this stretch, he typically wouldn’t be able to because yoongi knows hoseok’s pattern
yoongi’s only had a pit stop once and that’s the strategy that gets him winning most times
but god something just feels odd
jimin comes at the right times as he speaks through the radio and yoongi couldn’t be any more lost
“yoongi you hAVE to box now”
and box equates to him having anOther pit stop when he usually wouldn’t because this isn’t it!!
this isn’t the strategy!!!!
“jimin iF i box now then that means-”
“yoongi!! listen to me!!! jung’s gonna pass ahead wHETHER you box or not. if you wanna save face and finish this race ranking atleast within top 10, box. right. now.”
fuck
his tires are thinning and normally he could sTILL go through the final stretch without another pit stop but fuck is jimin ordering him with so much ferocity
he has no other choice
and yoongi’s angry
he’s sTILL heated up because these circumstance have never happened before
then he finished 7th in this race
and that’s the lowEST he’s ever placed this season!!!
yoongi can’t exactly control his anger when it comes to situations like these and jimin’s very well-aware
he has faith in yoongi and his driving but tHESE technical reasons are what made him to go through this last-minute strategy
jimin’s crew chief and he stands by his decisions and his strategies
there’s no denying tho that he kNOWS yoongi’s gonna be heated
yoongi marches off the moment he finishes
and he’s looking for someone
anyone
you’re there by jimin’s side
and of cOURSE you were shocked by the sudden strategy and you just can’t help going to him to discuss it
you know too that yoongi’s gonna be mAD but after analyzing the situation with jimin when he explained and when you visualized, jimin did make the right call
before you know it though
yoongi’s already there
“Y/N!!!”
oh
this is the first time that yoongi’s speaking to you and you couldn’t be anymore shocked and confused at the same time
the two of you aren’t exactly alone,.,,
he’s had this sudden recollection of yoongi eating dinner with you in your hotel room and you kept asking him questions about racing and strategies and the philosophical aspect of it
and he delved into his strategies with jimin and retold them to you
you were in so much fondness too because he looks so focused and passionate when he was laying them out to you
“dID YOU TELL ABOUT THE STRATEGIES TO JUNGKOOK?”
what
wHAT????
yoongi isn’t level-headed right now and the story’s immediately flipped in his head of how this must have possibly went
jimin’s eyes are bulging at what’s unfolding, but even more so to the fact that you and yoongi aREN’T alone
and he’s here and the other crew members are here
and they can heAR YOONGI!!! loud and clear!!!
“yoongi wHAT are you talking about???”
“don’t play dumb!! you told them to jungkook, didn’t you???”
for a fact, you didn’t
you didn’t tell jungkook nor aNYONE else
what would you benefit from that??
what would yOONGI benefit from that??
“shut up!! you tOld about the strategies to jungkook and he told it to hoseok and nOW look at what happened!!! all of this, all of what i did, is gonna fall through just because you couldn’t keep your mouth shut!!”
jimin’s heart is dropping at this and he can’t imagine what you’re feeling right now
he knows to his heart that you wouldn’t do such a thing
or that all of this has to do with his decision and a series of coincidences that piled up for yoongi to mindlessly think that you’re the reason for what he’s pushing to be a leak
“yoongi, i would never-”
“dON’T TALK TO ME!!”
he’s burning
actually burning
so much so that he’s walking towards you and looking down on you
“you’re fired.”
wait
what the actual fuck
“yOU CAN’T DO THAT!”
“i can.”
jimin’s about to step in as he’s standing behind you and he’s already gripping at your arm
he needs to say something
and you know your standing with jimin isn’t the best but you’re just thinking about him
you know how he’s due for a promotion and a raise
and you know yoongi’s above and beyond gonna ruin his career if jimin dared to speak and atleast attempt to defend you and pin the blame on himself
“and i’m gonna get my father involved if i have to.”
that’s it
that’s the end of your career
you didn’t wait to get fired
knowing yoongi, he means what he says and so you didn’t waste a single second in packing up your bags and rounding up your documents
you already knew enough that yoongi’s dad have connections with the association and a single phone call could flip things over
so whether yoongi’s already made the call to his dad or not, you’re gonna leave either way
you’re making calls to your manager, the same one who came to your college and recruited you and jungkook, and had to explain as much as you can while pulling at all stops
said managers was saddened at the call and then she had to make that call to the ones in the upper positions so could aLSO explain as much as she can
honestly you don’t know either what’s gonna come out of this
either your name would be defamed wrongly, or nO one’s gonna notice at all and your sudden disappearance would have 99 versions and not one confirmed
they think it’s best to respect your decision of letting go and even if you’ve signed a contract, this “firing” is as good as official
also they think it’s best to relay the statement of you making an “indefinite leave” due to a “family emergency of grave importance” which translates to no this isn’t an indefinite leave but instead you’re leaving for good
it’s both a blessing and a curse that this happened far into the season
a blessing since there’s only two races left after this and that means less adjustments with the team dynamic and the news of your departure won’t be as focused on because yeah last two races
a curse since these last two races are critical and yoongi just couldn’t wait until the last one to blame you and then fire you
no worries though
there are always replacements
aka which just points that you’re despensable and it’s nOT helping your self-esteem
backups are there in case the event a pit crew member gets injured (or worse, incapacitated; and they’re familiar with the work and the dynamic so it would be just a seamless fit
and all of that got arranged in less than two hours :)) there was even a flight you managed to book within that time
you didn’t even get to say goodbye to jungkook :((
he had to know all of it by a short n simple goodbye and see you soon text you sent before boarding and by asking jimin what happened
he was cOMPLETELY bawling his eyes out because his best friend left him :(( and he counts on you so much and you help him stay sANE
he’s beyond angry at yoongi and didn’t even bother to bat an eye when he walked past him
jimin feels so guilty and sad
he was a shitty crew chief to you for the most part and after all that, you still went through this considering hIM and his job and his dIGNITY even if it means you lose all three things and you already did
jimin cried when jungkook’s lip started trembling and he lost it completey by then
yoongi’s lost and empty and oblivious to all of this
he figures that it’s better to let some hours pass so he could cool down and reflect
that’s his second mistake however
yoongi’s complacent
and three hours have passed and he knows that at this time you’re still awake so he walked over to your room and just rang the bell
oh
he’s rung it three times now and uSUALLY you wouldn’t even let it pass two when it’s yoongi by the door
that’s weird
yoongi’s about to pull out his phone to call you to open the door but before
he could even press at your name, the door already opens
… it’s a middle-aged man …
“yOU’RE NOT Y/N”
“wrong door, kid.”
but that’s your room
yoongi knows you’ve left the circuit earlier than everyone because of what happened
that much he knows
but not this
yoongi dials jungkook instead because for sure he’d know where you are but then another door opens and that’s jUNGKOOK!!! leaving jimin’s room that’s a couple of doors from your room
“yA. do-…”
jungkook literally just walks past him and into the elevator
what
what is going ON
then yoongi’s jogging to jimin’s door that’s closing then he manages to wedge into his foot before it closes
“where’s Y/N?”
little did yoongi know that the answer would make him regret even asking you don’t have the slightest clue on how could possibly bounce back from this
maybe take a break; a week perhaps
get a job that’s for sURE
ignore yoongi’s texts and calls
reply to jungkook whenever he contacts you as much as he could in free time that he gets
assure jimin that you’re okay and he has nothing to apologize for
be eternally grateful for your friends that have your back no matter what and help you stay afloat and even giving you a job
bless the kim line
jin, namjoon, and taehyung were your ultimate friends in college besides jungkook
they are the most awesome and sWEETEST friend group you’ve ever had in your life
you didn’t get to hang out with them as frequently like you did with jungkook since the three of them were in the business course and you and kook on the student athlete side
but that didn’t change the fact that you give are inseperable and wHOLESOME
you and jungkook ended up being crew members for a famous and multi-million team in formula racing but you’ve retired wAY too early lmao
the three of them
well
not to brag
but they’re the proud owners and the brawns and the brains of kim kradle
KIM KRADLE!!
it’s a one-stop shop for everything that automobiles could possibly need
but why kim kradle do you ask???
well first of all,,, jin, namjoon, and taehyun have the same family name which is Kim so write that down
kradle? aha well :D
so for babies, there’s cradles, right??
they serve kinda like havens, right??
wHERE was ultron from avengers: age of ultron made??? the cradle. although their shop’s vision and mission are wAY WAY different from ultron’s
and like why name it kim cradle
when you can name it kIM KRADLE
they’ve had calls when they were starting out asking if they were selling baby cradles and the answer is N-O
it’s now a huge successful shop that’s like an open warehouse type!!
basically, the kim kradle is divided into three major operations
general services to intensive repair of parts and basically what goes on internally!! jin is in charge and heads that sector!!
he could see your car for two seconds and go “hey man, did you ever ace your karate lessons? lmao you have a broken fan belt not a black belt”
carwashes and waxing and all that good stuff!! namjoon is a beast at thus and your car could be like from 1997 and he’d clean it so good that it would look like it’s from 2030
customization!! from leather seats to metallic foils to coating!! taehyung has an instagram dedicated to his finished works and ongoing ones and like wHAT?? he has half a million followers?? no big deal
kim kradle is on the massive side and is therefore separated to three floors
namjoon and his carwashes are at the basement in which you’d still get sunlight in because there are inclined pathways on the side that lead out to an outdoor waiting area
jin is on the 2nd floor and basically in the same ground level where the civilization is because his section’s more critical and it’s the obvious option
taehyung gets the 3rd floor, and one part’s covered and the other is like a car balcony so when he finishes?? you could see that sunlight hitting the custom coat he did on your car
either kim kradle is so good, the placement and marketing are perfect, or the owners are just sO attractive and unparalled as to why so many people avail their services and most go through all three levels
maybe the formula is all three of those variables
you came home without knowing a sINGLE thing and being alone in your apartment is appreciated but it gets eerie and so isolating
and you called namjoon late into the night because he always knows what to say and you ended up having more than what you hoped for
you just wanted to have some comfort and ease because also,, namjoon’s voice is really soothing and u miss hearing it
not oNLY did you get some peace of mind
you also got a job without even actively looking for it at the moment and you couldn’t be anymore fulfilled
namjoon said that you could come in at kim kradle anytime at your own pace and they’d still welcome you with open arms
also said that jin and tae miss you sO much and it’s a good thing that namjoon is the one you called because if it’s either from the other two, you wouldn’t be able to sleep and perhaps you’d get visitors to your apartment at 2 in the morning
and this is it!!!
for once, you don’t want to confront a problem to the core
you’re just gonna distract yourself and make your way around it aha :D
two days later??? you’re working in kim kradle now!!!
and you know what??
you eVEN get the overalls
the only three people in kim kradle that wear overalls are jin, namjoon, and taehyung themselves
and it’s to kinda highlight the fact that they’re the owners and the heads of their sections
the rest wear boiler-style like suits 
all their uniforms are cute
like sERIOUSLY
jin is in charge of the color and there are actually multiple ones!! a pale pink to a nice lavender and a dark navy blue!! the first two are kinda impractical because it’s impossible to not get dirty in this job but they ARE adorable and stylish though
namjoon pushed for this uniform and so he really searched and handpicked fabrics that won’t be tOO hot and in which u could actively move in them
but sometimes there are tasks in which involve the straps for the overalls sliding down so tHE next big thing????
namjoon sewing but actually it became tAEHYUNG’S job because he’s gonna poke himself with the needle multiple times before even getting to put a thread in
made a lil hook by the custom shirts down to where it draped by the shoulders and it could hook the straps so like wHATEVER the four of you do, the overalls won’t slip :D
innovation amirite :D
and then it was taehyung’s job to have kim embroidered in really cute cursive by the back and the initials of their first name in a lil formal font below it
and the first names are embroidered in the front!!! 
tae was the one who wrapped the overalls into a large box and you genuinely didn’t expect that you’d be even given one
and it’s just that you’ve been so much on eDGE lately and every little thing turns you emotional these days ever since that incident with yoongi
“is she,,, she’s,,, is y/n sobbing??”
taehyung sputters because oh my god did his gift wrapping throw you off?? jeez he kinda knew at the back of his head that the bright neon green with some balloons saying “happy birthday” even if it’s nOT your birthday looks REPULSIVE and he didn’t have any other gift wrapper left but he didn’t know that it would be too repulsive to make you cry :((
“did we do something??”
jin looks worried because oh god maybe it was the joke he did awhile ago about you suddenly working here now
although namjoon eased their worries and oH you’re hugging the three of them!!!
“i-it’s just that-...”
you were only supposed to thank them for the overalls and the opportunity bUT it took some turns and it ended up with you telling them the story and namjoon having to fill in some gaps when you get too pouty and too sad to explain
tHEY GET IT NOW
anyways
it’s very easy to be thrown in the spur of things at the moment because you’re just grasping at every opportunity to distract yourself!! :D coping mechanisms!!!!
you’re with jin in his section because that’s your work!! that is your work before you got fired and you just got to continue it
but this time with all the time in the world
not really but an hour is a lifetime for you and you’re just used to repairing things in mere seconds
in mere seconds and you have to train for it like almost every second of the day sO this is a nice change :D
“a wrench?? i’m gonna replace the tires using a wrench??”
jin laughs at that because you’re holding it in disgust as you stare down the car that just got brought in
they don’t have a flat tire or anything!! they just wanna get new tires that are as exaggerated as their very-embellished and exaggerated jeep with their specs :D
“they don’t teach you that in racing school????”
://
you know how to replace tires with a wrench and a jack of course
but it’s just hitting you now that oh god this is very alike and different at the same time with your past job!!!
“you dON’T have pneumatic guns?? yeah sure they mAY be expensive but like work would be done quicker and you’d go through more customers?? oH my god jin??? you know what, i’m gonna call jimin right now. let me get you some things!!!”
well then,,,
actually,,,
jin mAY have a pneumatic gun lying around but they don’t use it because a) it’s not as fast and as efficient as what yOU use in the track b) what for honestly,,, c) this is not formula racing and most people aren’t in a rush
but you know what
this is going good for you!!!
jin’s learning new things from u and the other way around and you’re not wallowing in sadness tHAT much anymore :D
and you do feel that kim kradle is doing so much good on you!! you’re constantly with jin but sometimes you spice it up an transfer from floor to floor :))
pressure-washing with namjoon is very therapeutic and having excessive knowledge now about how to properly give your car the shiniest wax ever in your lifetime??
it’s excessive knowledge you wouldn’t trade for the world
you even go work with taehyung sometimes!!! you help him plan out color schemes and pick out fabric with him and go measure dimensions and eVEN do 3D mock-ups
watching and aLSO being able to mix custom coats to go on cars is very satisfying ok
tae even gives you the password to the instagram account :))
he gets you to do the close-ups sometimes and eVEN tells you a thing or two on how he edits these clips to be as satsfying and pleasing as possible
today’s just a slow day
only three cars have come to the shop and to your floor in the past hour nothing from the three of them needed that much TLC
two of them just needed to get their tires’ air pressure checked and have them pumped to match
the other one was just towed here because it’s the nearest shop and just has a dead battery :((
you don’t know how you and jin could pass the time because there isn’t any tv in the area since sOMEONE (jin himself) got distracted too much by watching sherlock and he jUST wanted to know how sherlock pulled off operation lazarus!!!!
it clearly wasn’t his intention to keep pumping up the jack and almost have the whOLE car tip over because he had it up all the way
that was an accident :))
he didn’t even notice that so many of his boys were dashing for the side of the car to keep it from falling and when one of them called out his name, jin had the aUDACITY to shush him because there goes the climax!!!
wOOpS aha oh no what happened to the car :D
the next big thing that jin could do? ask you and catch up about all the technical stuff in formula racing so he could learn too ya know
“what happens if a wing gets dented or like dEFORMED?? how would that be fixed that quickly??”
“ooh!! good question!! actually-...”
that sound
you miss that sound :((
someone’s driving in your floor by the sounds of it and you don’t even need to turn your head to know that it must be a rEALLY cool car :((
it reminds you of the sounds you hear on the track and it’s one that you dearly miss
the growl of whatever car this is loud but like nOT obnoxious of pricks that just wanna show off in traffic and rev up their engine, y’know??
jin could only be so happy because fINALLY
another customer and another task to do to pass this day and it’s nOT a prius!!!!!!!
fucking finally
jin stands up immediately and you immediately follow him and this car’s getting attention from the other workers at the floor because whew
they all know to back off and go back to working on previous and existing projects because aH they see jin smiling giddily and almost jogging and you’re in tow from excitement
it’s a nice car!!!
a maserati granturismo in sleek black!!! jin’s only saw one of these come in the shop driveway but only for them to pULL out and it’s just because they needed to maneuver to go back to a u-turn
what a prick ://
he was excited that day and for wHAT??? someone to use their driveway just so they could reverse their car???? that’s just rude
the owner in mystery comes out and is aLREADY TALKING and- wait
isn’t that yoongi?
yOONGI?????
“hey man, could you check on my radiator real quick? the airconditioning’s a bit wack and i’m not entirely sure if it’s the radiator but i don’t wanna tweak it, ‘cause maybe it’s the compressor too. not sure. can you-“
that’s
oh my god that’s yOU
the season’s wrapped up like a week ago and the last races were tough so tough than he could’ve ever imagined and it was even harder without you
yoongi won the season
but he lost you though :((
he was so enraged at himself the moment jimin told him about the verdict you took and how you quit before he could fire you — for good yoongi has no one to blame but himself and god he’s just so mad at himself
even up to now actually
his pride was so enormous that he didn’t even tHINK that he might be the problem as to why he placed 7th in that race
and instead, he just needed someone, anyone, for him to blame and you’re the fIRST person he sees and he immediately takes his anger and frustration out on you
you would never do such things and he’s disgusted at himself for even tHINKING that you’d ever betray him like that
he was regretting every bit of his words and actions that he said and did out of blind spite
if he could punch himself he would GLADLY do that and knock himself out yoongi was both panicked and livid
had a hard time breathing too because oh gOd he just can’t stop thinking about you and the things he’s caused that are too late to bring back and reverse :((
he kept pleading to atleast follow you home even for just some hours and he’ll immediately go back to the hotel as if he never left
but he can’t do that and he hATES it
god this wouldn’t have happened if he wasn’t a big fucking aSSHOLE!!! throughout the whole week ever since you left the team, he was a gigantic mess
like he still is now
but he had dark circles under his eyes that were swollen from crying so much
his lips were set in a frown as a default
yoongi was doing well with the streak of not biting and picking at his fingernails and his cuticles but now tHAT’S broken alright
he’s tried reaching out to jungkook multiple times
he’s tried apologizing but he always gets a deadpanned response of how he isn’t the one he needs to apologize to
kook sees the sincerity of yoongi trying to apologize because he’s hurt you, his best friend, but that’s not the important issue here
you called jungkook unknowingly in the middle of his and yoongi’s conversation and the boy just almost jUMPS at jungkook to try and borrow his phone with his pleads and as much as his heart goes out (he still hATES yoongi ok), jungkook’s not gonna let him
he tries getting jimin to let him borrow his phone and call you and jimin won’t let him either because this is not his place and you’ve been through enough
the closest yoongi’s ever got to you??
jimin still feels so sorry and guilty to this day
and he’s conflicted and confused and a lil sad
but jimin did call you in front of yoongi on speaker :(((
and yoongi got to hear you answer with a chipped-out voice :(((
and he’s just so tempted to speak out loud but if he does that, then jimin will forever be mad at him too probably and he’s also promised that he’s gonna pretend he isn’t there
ask her if she already ate dinner
yoongi won’t stop typing in his notes tho and wave it frantically for jimin to ask you
and you’re responding truthfully because what’s jimin gonna do?? fLY to your home and cook you spaghetti?????
of course not
that’s what yoongi wants to do :(( if only he can :((
his win felt so empty and it just feels so dull without you here
also knowing that he’s drived out one of the only people that puts up with him and is always patient and is the reason to why he’s been so inspired lately
and one of these days
just one of these days, yoongi wants to drive to your apartment and camp out the door if he needs to just so he could redeem himself and earn forgiveness and try to mend what he’s broken
not today though
not today when the moment yoongi finally gathered the words and the courage to go to you, with the blessing of jungkook giving him his address but with a very sTRICT warning that scared the shit out of him.,.,.,
but also with his airconditioning broken and something just tells him that he needs to take it to a shop because it’s been awhile ever since he drove normal cars
and yoongi actually forgot the gravity of all this so he’s a bit nervous because maybe this is a more serious case with his car and it’s just the universe’s way of telling him to go to you tomorrow
or as soon as his car gets taken to the shop
maybe he needs to polish up some lines and try practicing them better from the heart
yoongi could go to jimin and have it fix it for him but like that’s tOO far of a drive and he just needs a quick fix
ooh
kim kradle!!! it’s the nearest shop to his place that has five stars on it
and he’s still a bit wary because his face and his name and win did land on the news and he’s been trending lately and like wHAT IF someone takes advantage of his car or scams him because they know who he is this car is his frequent and it holds a sentimental value to his heart ok
kim kradle is bigger than he’s pictured it in his mind
woah it actually looks cool and promising
christ it’s so hot inside his car god he needed to open up a little bit of his window but mosquitoes would creep in and tHEY’RE annoying and a real hazard to kill while you’re driving down the road
he wants to get this over with quickly
yoongi just needs to drive to your place and see you asap
“hey man, could you check on my radiator real quick? the airconditioning’s a bit wack and i’m not entirely sure if it’s the radiator but i don’t wanna tweak it, ‘cause maybe it’s the compressor too. not sure. can you-“
oh
that’s you
wAIT THAT IS YOU
“y/n?”
his hands are literally shaking right now oh my god
it’s been some twenty-seven days ever since he’s last saw you and here you aRE
here you are in a place he’s least expected to see you because he’s on the way to see you but actually yOU’RE HERE
“yoongi.”
you acknowledge him back and god you don’t know what to feel
jin immediately senses what’s happening and deep-down he is pANICKING alright
he’s been in contact with jungkook and in the back of their minds, they knew that yoongi won’t let this go without his ever-present persistence
and eventually like maybe yoongi’s gonna know that you work here and the last time that he checked, yoongi doesn’t even know kim kradle
bUT JIN DIDN’T KNOW THAT THIS TIME WOULD COME THIS SOON OK
he immediately steps in and insert himself in between you and yoongi that he’s trying to close the distance to you and that surprises yoongi completely
“airconditioning, right? keys please. i’ll check it out!!”
yoongi wastes no time in shoving the keys to jin’s hand and he couldn’t be anymore desperate to talk to you
he doesn’t wanna cross boundaries obviously even if jin’s already moved out of the way
you’re still glued to your spot trying to process the situation and your fight or flight response is not exactly working right now
is there a disbelief and yearning and standing in sadness and anger option in that fight or flight choice
“i haven’t seen you in so long.”
that’s what usually happens when you become an asshole yOONGI
god how are you supposed to react
“you too.”
there’s this awkward distance in between the two of you and it’s too deep to even get between 
yoongi suddenly forgets the words that’s been in his mind for the longest time,, just brewing and evolving and always changing as he just wants to fix the damage he’s done :((
he’s about to get closer but
“the cooling fan’s just clogged. it could be finished within like fifteen minutes man :D”
jin doesn’t exactly know what he’s doing but he ‘s dOING whatever this is ok
although that is factual
the cooling fan is just a bit dirty and there’s some debris in there that could be cleared quickly
but he just needs to do it extra carefully because this is a nice car ok
i mean he sTILL cares for cars in the same way even if not every car he gets in the shop is a maserati granturismo 
he’s just a lil bit nervous even thOUGH he’s an expert at this ok
“fIFTEEN MINUTES???”
yoongi’s freaking out and he’s gripping at his hair in panic because wHAT
THAT SHOULD TAKE AN HOUR
goddamn why does kim kradle have to be a five-star shop :((
“y-yeah.,, i can do it in ten if you’re in a hurry-”
“aha nO NO :D i’m not in a hurry at all!!! please, take your time!!”
oh god what does he do now
yoongi walks over to his car and that confuses both you and jin
because what
he has half of his body in the driver’s seat and it sEEMS that he’s fishing for something in his glovebox
it’s a lil swiss knife
bUT WHY
he kept it in the gloveboxes of his cars because seatbelts are not exactly fool-proof and you could be stuck in them and he’s scared of that
and also if he’s gotten a takeout of a burger and it’s too big and he’s driving with one hand so he’ll just whip out his lil swiss knife and cut haphazardly
“what’s your name, man??”
“jin!! kim seokjin :D you’re-”
wait
what the fuck is yoongi doing
oh 
did he just-
“also forgot to tell you!!! my tires are running flat and i tHINK they need to be changed!! so sorry man it just came up”
deadass
yoongi literally just slashed his four tires
jin’s sPUTTERING
and he’s looking back and forth to you and to yoongi and his car
“are you -- are you sEEING -- y/n tell me wait what the fuck iS YOONGI SLASHING HIS TIRES????”
whatever it takes
whatever to buy his time with you and so as much as he can
you’re quite taken aback because oh did yoongi just do that
jin has only known yoongi personally for like eight minutes and he could positively say that he is on aNOTHER level
yoongi’s approaching you again and it only hits you nOW
“have you eaten lunch already?”
your mouth is dry and you absolutely can’t look at yoongi because it just feels so unreal 
“no. hEy uh-...”
“no?? oh my gOD hold on just stay still, yeah? i’m gonna get lunch hOld on-”
yoongi’s immediately scarmbling for the exit
he has no concrete plan but he sure is hellbent in getting you lunch even though his car’s tires are slashed and he’s gonna be walking in an area he’s unfamiliar with
you really haven’t eaten lunch 
you were just about to say a half-assed reason of namjoon calling you just to exit this situation because you are nOT ready and yoongi’s already off before you could mutter it
jin’s gears are just on a frenzy
“oh so that’s min yoongi.,.,,. jusT slashed his own tires,.,,. that’s.... endearing.,.,,”
you’ve detached yourself from the situation and you couldn’t really stand seeing nor interacting with yoongi
you’ve cooped up yourself in jin’s office and the moment yoongi came back holding up take-out for boTH you and jin, his car’s already all-done
jin gives him a look that’s telling and yoongi gets it
“oh. that’s okay. just uh, just leave this for y/n, can you? there’s enough for the two of you. thanks, jin :))”
you need a moment
that one’s obvious
taehyung insisted that you come home early and you obliged because oh god you nEED a moment
you come into work the next day and sure enough, you’re all well-rested and this time they could ask about what happened yesterday
even hear jin’s point of view on how yoongi is just so wILD
taehyung is in alert and so in namjoon
they’re all ears ok
jin’s telling his story and tae’s nudging you discreetly and makes you look at a box!!!
a box he’s ordered online a couple days ago after he saw you breakdown and you’re looking in awe as you whisper because u don’t wanna disrupt jin
“gel nails???”
the same one you always wanted and it’s flashing back to when you saw yoongi talking to dahyun!!!
oh this is really happening???
“dO IT YOURSELF!!!”
taehyung’s grabbing your hand immediately as he opens the box and he’s sO pumped for this because he stayed up all night watching how to do gel nails yourself!!
he even bought a nice uv lamp for it!! he’s tHAT dedicated
this takes your mind off of yoongi for awhile
a car pulls up yet again and you’re getting the chills again bUt it just turned out to be jungkook
aND HOBI!!!
hobi finished second this season!!
they immediately flock to the lot of you and you’re not sure on who flocks who because everyone’s just genuinely happy to see each other
even the kim line meeting hobi for the first time is such a fun experience
jungkook immediately goes to you and he sEES taehyung doing something to your hand
he’s not sure what he’s doing
but he knows that he wants IN okay
he wants to these gel nails on your other hand
he doesn’t know shit on how to do them but he’s gonna learn along the way aND he is not backing down 
taehyung wasn’t aware that this is a competition now but apparently iT IS NOW :O
it’s not ensured that your two hands will look the exact same because you think they’re going for the what looks better competition and not let’S DO THIS IDENTICALLY because these are y/n’s hands y’know 
you’re about to fall asleep with how this is lowkey soothing
this is not the quickest manicure to do on anybody
especially if it’s someone’s first time and they’re really aIMING for it to be perfect
although it’s not easy because another car pulls up and you’re pANICKED that it might be yoongi 
oh nah it’s okay that’s not his car anyway!!!
you sometimes forget.... that yoongi’s a race car driver....
and there’s a possibility.... that he has multiple cars....
that’s yoongi alright
he steps down in a hurry and makes a beeline for you because he could immediately spot you!!! even in crowds!!!
you’re somehow ensured that yoongi’s gonna decide against going to you because you’re not alone
taehyung’s on your left and jungkook’s on your right and they’re not leaving your side until they finish their masterpieces for like another half hour
oH HE’S GOING FOR IT
“y/n, hI!!”
coming in strong but that’s ok
“jungkook :]”
he acknowledges kook and you’re not exactly up-to-date with how these two stand with each other 
but kook kinda just gives him a confused glance (jIN CALLED HIM LAST NIGHT) and nods back to yoongi
what
taehyung has his lips parted because what,,, why.,., 
yoongi’s about to open his mouth to talk to this guy that’s holding your hAND???
oh this is the part right
“i’m,,, kim taehyung.,.,.,”
“min yoongi. nice to meet you :))”
he sticks out his hand and tae blindly reaches for it and he doesn’t know wHY he shook it and he’s still confused up to to now
what is yoongi doing
wHAT IS HE DOING
you only realize now that yoongi has something in his hands and he’s looking dead straight to you and he doesn’t falter once
(he’s nervous on the inside trUST HIM)
“i know you’re not that comfy in seeing me and that’s tOTALLY okay!! i respect that!! it’s just uH i realized that uhm,.,., do you remember that time we were karting? and you won and we ki -- when you wON?? and you said that the winner gets one week of presents,,.,, and i just want to fulfill that.”
yoongi’s voice is wavering because oh shit this iS hard to swallow down
“even if i might be a little late.”
he wordlessly sets down a wrapped present by your feet, just in the middle of a sitting jungkook and taehyung who are listening all this time and have curious eyes on the neatly-wrapped present that’s been laid down
he leaves and stalks over to jin
“what happened now yoongi.,.,.,”
“my guess is that there are some rocks stuck in the wheel bearings. maybe even in the mags. four on the left, three on the right.”
....
hmmmm
“that’s nice, man. just a hunch??”
“yup :)) just a hunch :)) aLSO: can i have a stool?? i’m just gonna wait here, y’know :))”
yoongi’s not expecting anything from you
he doesn’t mind rejection or you ignoring him all throughout because he knows that he deserves it
he deserves it for sure
sometimes he sees you in the corner of his eye
or you helping out jin on fixing yoongi’s other car
or the other one
your own pace
your pace is what matters and yoongi isn’t gonna take any shortcut or undercut
this isn’t formula racing
this is yOU and him being patient until you feel like acknowledging him
of course he still apologizes
texts you even if you’re across the room
sees you open the text and you’d send him a look and you’d be giving him the slightest smile before you occupy yourself again
yoongi’s okay with that.
he keeps coming back
this is the third car and it’s nOT EVEN HIS ANYMORE
he’s just texting friends asking “yO do u need you car washed or fixed or something??? i’ll take it to the shop for you fREE OF CHARGE!!!”
he’s that invested in this and he doesn’t see himself giving up this is good for kim kradle of course but oh god this is aMUSING TOO throughout the week, yoongi hasn’t faltered either in continuing at giving you the gifts
the first one he’s given you?? a box full of trinkets he’s been collecting for every country that he’s visited ever since you gave him that caffeine pill!!
just random things he’s seen in malls or souvenir shops or airport boutiques that reminded him of you, all in a box with a single note
i miss you. - yoongi
you’re not gonna lie
you do miss yoongi too
but the things he’s done still make you wince when you’re thinking about it and even though he’s apologized in all ways but a face-to-face one
because you’re not that lax with him, the both of you know that this isn’t just a one and done thing
things take time and yoongi’s taking it at your pace and you’re grateful for it
warming up is always relative and so is forgiveness longing’s still there but it’s just a matter of suppressing it and yeah you dO miss yoongi
you’re lost without him too although you’re not gonna make that anymore obvious because that’s just devastating to think about you think he’s about to reach the end of his rope and it throws you in the whirlwind of oH
this is the sixth consecutive day that yoongi’s been coming to kim kradle yesterday was the first bIG interaction you’ve ever done with him
because since you don’t talk to him as much, he just takes his time as he waits for the services for the cars that he brings by making conversation with the guys
he’s gotten to know jin and joon and tae aND YEAH they like him but they do grill him separately though because they’re mad at what he’s done to you
but he’s also apologized to them and made promises that he’s gonna be keeping
jin doesn’t cook by the kitchen anymore because yoongi keeps bringing takeout or sometimes hE’S THE ONE WHO COOKS in his home and brings it to u guys
is it bad that he all bought you lunchboxes
is it bad that your lunchbox is the fanciest out of all of them and you have more portions and yours are always cut up like he did with the pork.,.,..
it’s not bad as lonG as you pretend to unsee the three kims stealing food from you and just go about to eating your food
but the big interaction did happen yesterday
and it was you suddenly calling out yoongi’s name as he’s sat by the car but he sTILL heard you and he swears he’s gonna cry
because oh god it’s been a long time ever since you said his name in that tone
“you’re not gonna eat with us?”
OH DAMN
he’s a mess
“uhm weLL do you want me too?? it’s oKAY uhm pls just-“
“don’t make me regret asking, yoongs.”
yOONGS
Y O O N G S
yoongi is instantly walking his ass to the little makeshift dining circle because oh my god YES
he doesn’t overstep tho and he just sits in between namjoon and
taehyung as he eats and every few minutes he sneaks a look at you and sometimes you look at him aND IT’S JUST LIKE the start all over again there’s the last piece of tteokbokki and everyone’s just feeling it out and looking at it
and yoongi
the bold man that he is
picks it up with his chopsticks aND
oh he’s putting it on your lunchbox
:))))))))
the night’s late and taehyung called yoongi to say that the car (it’s actually yoongi’s) he’s brought in for a ceramic coating and custom leather seats are all finished and wrapped up
and if he wants, he could go to the shop right now and pick it up since namjoon’s finishing up by the basement anyways and it would still be open then
and he does pick it up
he knows his way around the store
you could either take the stairs or the lift if you’re coming in into kim kradle without a car to go up and down the levels but he’s patient so he’ll just take the stairs
what he wasn’t expecting though
something that makes him cease his whistling as he goes up to the third floor to fetch his car
is you
rIGHT there
besides his car
and this is the only time that the both of you are alone and his throat is suddenly dry
you know this too though
you were intending to staying up late here just to finish on the car that’s been brought in two days ago with the broken engine that you think is worth salvaging
and you just wanted to see the view :((
reminisce to how you’ve been seeing yoongi in the flesh for six days straight and how you wanna tackle this conflict right to the head but you’re unsure to how :((
it doesn’t take a genius to know that yOONGI himself is right behind you
as you are aware too that this is his car that taehyung’s been working on thank u very much
“i want you to know that i’m not giving up on you.”
his words cut through the cold air and it surely gets your attention even if your back is still turned to him as you’re hunched over the balcony
“i’m running out of cars to bring, the one week of presents is ending, and
i’m so cLOSE to putting up a cot so i could sleep here.”
he’s serious about that one
seeing you just makes everything better no matter the circumstance it calms his heart and everything in him and he’s not gonna stop at nO matter what to try and make up for the things he’s done
“but you’re worth all this.”
yoongi dares to take a step closer and this time you could already see him by your peripheral vision
“you’re worth it,” and he needs a collective second to exhale the heaviness that’s sitting on his chest because oh gOd he was really an asshole huh
“i don’t know how long it’s gonna take, but i’m willing to wait.”
this is more nerve-wracking than any report card or championship results he’s been ever given and he’s not ashamed to admit that
“i love you, y’know?”
that’s the thing he’s been wanting to say for a long time he doesn’t know in the first place on wHY the hell was he scared because now that he says it to you, he feels like he’s never been more sure of anything in his life :(((
“good night, y/n.”
and the main purpose to why he’s here completely escapes his mind
he just misses you sO much that it’s so painful and all he could do is imagine scenarios and look back at all the pictures he’s taken of you half of it he’s sure that you never even noticed him taking
aND IT HITS YOU
something that hits you with the way that his car keys have the sticker of your initials on them
or the way when taehyung asked you out to help him with the leather interior for yoongi’s car and your scrunchie that you must’ve left is wrapped snugly on his handbrake
or how in the final checking for his car did you know that your playlist that you don’t even rEMEMBER mentioning to him is the one that’s on repeat in his radio
yoongi stops the moment that you call out for his name and god he’s closing his eyes because all the worst possible scenarios of you calling for him to stop this is enough to make him cry
you’ve also never been more sure of anything in your life
your hand just barely grips yoongi’s arm, staring up at him as you get to notice the features of his that you’ve always loved and missed all this time
yoongi’s hand’s open and so is your heart for all this
it’s the same keys that he’s went here for the first place, the ones with your intials on as he only realizes now that he’s done that
“drive me home.”
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