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tearsofgrace · 3 years

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eternity with you

that’s right. 12 days after the gd finale aired i finally wrote a mf coda

wc: 2.1k, tags: john winchester’s a+ parenting, angst, but happy ending, love confessions, first kiss

edit: thanks @fandomstuff67 for the title you queen

also on archive

“Cas helped,” Bobby said with a smile, looking over at Dean to catch his reaction.

Dean felt a jolt of electricity run through him, and he fought to control his face. He was in Heaven now. Cas was in Heaven now. He gulped, trying to stop the shaking.

“He’s-” he started. He couldn’t say it. Otherwise it might slip away. He’d hadn’t even mentioned Cas’ name since it happened… it hurt too much. It hurt too much to think about what Cas had said. To think about how he’d just stood there, the world collapsing all around him.

“Cas is alive,” Bobby finished with a smile.

“Alive,” Dean repeated slowly, tasting the word on his tongue. Cas was alive. “Where?” he blurted before he could stop himself.

Bobby raised an eyebrow and took another sip of beer. “Don’t know. Could be anywhere in Heaven. He and Jack don’t really stay in one place.”

Dean gulped again and nodded. He was sure he was being obvious… but at this point, what did it matter? He had to find Cas. He had to find Cas and tell him- well, and give him an answer. He had to explain why he hadn’t gotten him out while he was on Earth. Had to explain that he’d tried… even if Sam didn’t know.

“It’s a big, new world out there.” Bobby was still smiling, a peace in his eyes that Dean had rarely, if ever, seen when he was alive. “I guess the question is… what are you gonna do now, Dean?”

Find Cas, he thought immediately. But he didn’t say it. He hadn’t even processed the fact that Cas was gone yet, much less that he was in love with-

“I need to go see my folks,” he said through gritted teeth. Then he took a steadying breath and looked up from his beer to Bobby. “Then I’m gonna find Cas.” He held the older hunter’s gaze, almost challenging him to comment. But Bobby just smiled back at him and nodded.

“Well, you’ll need that then,” he said, nodding to the open field in front of them.

Even with his thoughts swirling and his heart still pounding in his chest, Dean couldn’t stop the smile that formed when he saw his Baby sitting ready and waiting. That was some consolation, at least. Some consolation for being separated from his brother, from his life, from the apple-pie job he’d been about to take. But there was no use dwelling on the past now. He was dead. And he wasn’t going back… not this time. So, he might as well put a few things to bed while he was here.

Slipping behind the wheel felt as safe as it always did. Baby hadn’t changed. Even the imperfections had stuck, and he was grateful for it. People always thought paradise meant perfection, but he didn’t think so. No, paradise was something else. It was acceptance. It was truth. It was family.

He waved goodbye to Bobby and pulled out onto the road, driving slowly to look for the house. He wasn’t surprised when he found it. It looked exactly like the old house in Lawrence. Complete with the tree in front.

His nerves started buzzing more as he walked up the long drive to the porch. He should just go find Cas now. This wasn’t important.

But before he could turn to leave, the door swung open and his mom was wrapping him in a giant hug, tears wet on her cheeks. She was younger than when he knew her. More like the Mary he’d seen when he was thrown into the past. She looked happier too. Free of the worries of the world.

“You made it,” she said simply, her arms still tight around him.

“Yeah,” he said with a laugh. He held her tight, the tornado of emotions inside him threatening to break free. Then he looked up and saw the reason he was here. His heart nearly stopped, but by some heavenly miracle, it kept beating.

“Hey, Dad.”

John nodded, a smile breaking out over his youthful face. “Dean,” he managed, before going in for a hug.

Instinctively, Dean backed up, his hands held up defensively. He took another deep breath, glancing back to the car as if he still had a chance to run, and then turned to face John.

The smile had melted from his face and he folded his arms across his chest.

Dean shoved his hands in his pockets and looked at his feet. Maybe he was being stupid. Because it hadn’t really been that bad, right? He’d made it all up. His dad had been through a lot. He had every right to treat them like he did. And Dean had never measured up. Had never been good enough. That was on him.

That’s not who you are, Cas whispered in his ear. He cleared his throat and forced himself to look up.

“Mom, can you give us a minute?” His eyes never left John, but he saw her nod out of the corner of his eye before disappearing back into the house. John stepped outside and closed the door, gesturing to a set of deck chairs.

“We can stand,” Dean said, his voice already tight.

“What the hell is this about, boy?” His voice was low. More like the John Winchester that Dean remembered. More like the John Winchester that had been created when Mary died. Or, really, the John that had been there all along but had been hidden in empty promises and sweet nothings.

Dean clenched his fists, still hidden inside of his pockets, and forced himself to keep eye contact with his father. He was older than him here. His dad looked the same age as Mary, carefree even as his face slipped into a scowl. The youth didn’t make him any less intimidating. Didn’t stop memories of whiskey-fueled beatings from playing over and over in Dean’s head.

“You were wrong,” he said finally. His voice shook slightly, but he didn’t care. What was John going to do now? With Mary there, with them in Heaven… his hands were tied.

John snorted and leaned back against the doorframe. “About what?”

“I’m not worthless.” There was a lump in his throat now, but it was more from anger than anything else.

“Dean, let’s leave the past in the-”

“Shut up.”

John’s eyes widened and he took a step forward. When he spoke, his voice was even lower than before, shaking with anger. “What did you say to me?”

“I don’t owe you anything. You gave me nothing. But I needed to say that. Needed you to hear it. Because I finally know that you were wrong. All those years, all that pain… you were wrong.”

“You still talk like a goddamn fairy.”

Dean felt a shiver run down his spine but he held his ground. “Ever wonder why?” he spat.

“We’ve been over this, boy. Don’t tell me you forgot while I was away.” John took another step toward him, uncrossing his arms and letting them fall loosely at his sides.

Something shifted in Dean and some of the anger dissipated, replaced by confidence. Cas’ voice was still loud in his ear, telling him who he really was. Telling him this was okay. “You raised a faggot, John Winchester. Took me a long time to come around to it, too. But,” he shrugged, watching as his father’s eyes narrowed and his hands started to curl into tight fists, “I’m good with it now. I’m good with who I am. And, truthfully, I don’t give a fuck what you think.”

He saw the fist coming and ducked before taking a step backward.

“Something I gotta do,” he called as he walked away. “Tell Mom I love her. And I’ll be back.”

His heart was pounding in his chest but he didn’t dare look back. He knew if he did, he would crumple to the ground. His legs would just give out and he would take whatever punishment John deemed necessary. So he just walked. Got behind the wheel and tore away, his throat dry and his hands shaking but his heart at peace.

He drove for a while before he came back to his senses. Before what he’d done really sunk in. He could picture John talking to Mary, the disgust in his voice obvious. He honestly didn’t know what his mom would think. But at this point he didn’t care. There was only one thing on his mind. Only one infuriating angel he could think about. And he was here. Alive. In Heaven.

His hands were tight on the wheel as he pulled over to the side of the long road. It had gone through the forest for a while, but now it was hugging a beautiful coast line, the horizon seemingly miles away, the sun glittering off the waves.

Without thinking, he got out from the car and walked down the hill to the beach. He chose a rock on the edge of the sand to sit on, not wanting to venture further toward the ocean.

Then he closed his eyes and took a shaky breath. This was the easy part. He could do this.

“Cas,” he breathed into the empty air. Then he stopped. That was it. That was all he could say. Because he hadn’t said that name since- since Cas was taken. He hadn’t said that name since the angel had been standing in front of him, tear-streaked face filled with an expression of joy Dean had never seen before.

He tried to force more words out. But they just got caught in his throat, choking him until tears were filling his eyes and his breaths came in gasps.

Then, through his sobs, a familiar fluttering of wings rustled the air.

“Hello, Dean.”

All of his thoughts stopped. His mind was completely empty as he leapt from the rock facing the sea and whirled around to find Cas standing there, his expression blank.

Dean barely had time to take him in before he was crashing into him, his arms wrapping around the angel and holding him tightly to his chest. After a second, he remembered to breathe, and he took in Cas’ familiar scent that was now surrounding him.

“Dean,” Cas started as his arms came up from where they had been stiffly held at his sides to return the hug.

“Nope,” Dean said, his voice coming back. “You don’t get to talk.”

Reluctantly, he untangled himself from Cas’ arms, and looked into his eyes. He kept his hands on Cas’ shoulders, though, the touch grounding him.

There was fear in those blue eyes, but maybe hope too. Just a sliver of it.

Dean took another deep breath before letting the smile he had been holding back slip onto his face.

He shook his head, suddenly unable to stop the laughter bubbling in his stomach. “You asshole.”

Cas tilted his head and Dean’s laughter redoubled. He had thought he would be angry. Cas was alive, and he hadn’t even dropped in to let them know he was okay. But he didn’t care. Not in this moment. Because Cas was standing right in front of him. Cas was real.

The confusion on Cas’ face grew, his eyes squinting and his head tilting even further and suddenly Dean didn’t want to laugh anymore.

He surged forward, their lips meeting awkwardly as Cas stumbled backward. He held Cas tight to him, letting his hands drift upward into his hair, and finally Cas started kissing back.

When they pulled away for air, Cas’ expression was still guarded, though his defenses had started to slip away.

“I love you too, Cas.”

The rest of Cas’ walls fell down and he smiled. It wasn’t a huge smile, but it was better. It was soft, his eyes crinkled, and he looked at Dean like he was the most precious thing in the world.

There was too much to say. Too much to explain. Too many memories to relive. And they had all the time in the world. So Dean didn’t say anything at all. Instead, he slipped his hand into Cas’ and led him to the flat rock. He hopped up and patted the space next to him, waiting for Cas to get settled before he leaned onto his shoulder.

The sea air was everything he’d always imagined. Salty and fresh and calming.

The sun was hanging lower in the sky now. Like it knew they were here, watching it. Cas pulled Dean in tighter to him as they watched it slip lower down, colors exploding across the horizon.

The waves beat against the shore steadily and a breeze blew along with them, rustling Dean’s hair against Cas’ chin. They didn’t say anything that night. Just watched as the sunset faded into stars hanging over a sea of black.

They finally had what they’d never had on Earth. Time. And they were going to use every last second of it.

tag list below (ask to be added or removed) also when i was gone a lot of you changed your urls and idk what they are now so if you wanna drop me an ask w your new url feel free

@menjiiii @starlightcastiel @chaoticdean @larryforeveralways @dreamnovak @heller-jensen @tlakhtwritesdestiel @wanderingcas @prayedtoyou @good-things-do-happen-dean @jayus-fandom-writer @dean-you-assbutt-cas-loves-you @starrynightdeancas @radiantdean @piemaker-from-gallifrey @on-a-bender @eshaninjer @trasherasswood @dreadful-delight @feraladoration @trenchcas @contemplativepancakes @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @thefourthheadofcerberus @seffersonjtarship @randomblabbling @craftywitchywoman @adsp-destielcockles @tehmanda @castielscrookedtrenchcoat @queen-rowenas @expectingtofly @that-one-fandom-chick @quicksilver-ships @destielle @charmedbycastiel @cursed-or-not @faithcastiel @internetintroverts @sloth-with-y-yo-a-ti-cas

#spn fanfic #supernatural fanfic #spn fan fiction #destiel fanfic #deancas fic #destiel fic #destiel ficlet #my writing

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