#no because I need more closure
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day 99
i have NEARLY finished the skirt for my ren faire fit i just gotta get a few finishing details added and also get the undershirt bleached (bc i got a bunch of makeup on it at last years fair and shit Stained) but THEN i can show yall the final fit!!
#day 99#year 5#aradia megido#homestuck#its gonna be cute#i was so fucking stressed abt this one because like.#i bought my fabric and i was like oh yeah dude this is toooootally more than enough for a circle skirt#went to finally cut things#realized i only had enough for a half-circle skirt and it would end up with a bunch of weirdly-shaped scrap at the end#(ie i would have to do a bunch of weird piecing to make the waistband and pockets and such)#and like honestly a half-circle skirt was NOT enough volume for me i need my skirts swooshy#so i was like well. okay. i think i can optimize my fabric usage more if i draft a paneled skirt#but this of course required..... Math.#and unfortunately. i was an art major. so. there was a lot of struggling#BUT I DID IT. THERE WAS STILL A LIIIIITTLE BIT OF PIECING THAT HAD TO BE DONE BUT IT IS MINIMAL AND CAMOUFLAGED PRETTY WELL#and also this is for a ren faire primarily bc i dont wear a lot of skirts in day-to-day#SO. economical fabric usage is absolutely period accurate. even though none of the rest of my outfit or techniques are.#basically all thats left for me to do is add pockets and the closure at the back#i meant to add the pockets as i was doing the main construction but i got too excited and forgor#so theres gonna be some seam ripping but nothing too bad
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Something I realized (which was obvious to me subconsciously) is that... The family that vehemently didn't accept me when I first came out but now do accept me are still the same family that I am most unwilling to be open about things I feel protective over.
I remember that my dad reacted so poorly, not to my coming out, but to my transition specifically that my therapist was the one to ask if I wanted to put it on my file that I wanted nothing to ever be shared with him about my health after I broke down multiple times due to my anxiety that I would never transition. While there are and were protections for me, I was incredibly fearful at the time because I was a minor, and I was so worried that he would have prevented my transition that I couldn't have said for certain what (if any) lengths he would have gone to to prevent that.
He's grown a lot as a person, and made some commendable strides. But he didn't find out from me when I medically transitioned the second I turned eighteen, and I think that's among the things that truly made him realize the scope of the issue.
I'm not here to guilt trip parents, guardians, or other members responsible for the care of the children or teens or young adults in their care.... but this is a cautionary tale. You aren't saving the people in your care when you do this, you simply reinforce an idea that you will never care for them, never want them as they are, would rather them be shoved away.
When you give people reasons to be secretive, they will behave secretively. When you give people reasons to doubt their safety around you, they will become sneaky, defensive, and withdrawn. When you give people reasons to doubt that you value their life, they will believe that you don't care if they live or not.
#queer#lgbt#lgbtq#ally advice#transphobia#transphobia tw#i always feel the need to preface that i have a rebuilt relationship with my dad specifically...#...but that my experiences with them have served to me in many ways to illustrate... well... what NOT to do if you are in his situation#i do still grieve that my relationship with him looks very scarred and that it took a long time to get to where he is now#but i recognize that in many ways this is a product of the world and culture we live in and that he lived in#in a world he grew up gay was used as a slur. would i expect that trans people would be treated better?#and he was responsible for how he reacted but also... it's nuanced as to why he reacted so poorly#and i want people to AVOID being like he did if they EVER want a decent relationship with the other person#i want this to be a cautionary tale and that my ending is unique. not all of us are even ABLE to repair a relationship that was THAT broken#some of us die trying. some of us never get closure. some of us are in active danger because of those reactions#and that's the more common reality i have found. most other queer people have no-contact with families who pulled the shit my dad had...#...and that's - frankly - a good idea in 99.9% of cases. i will never judge someone for the way they go about dealing with that#i'm just emphasizing that i am unique in the sense that i was able to somewhat repair that
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q!Bad’s “vacation arc” thoughts :3
At first, my feelings on this arc was boredom, a little sigh at playing up the usual skeppy-addicted bits, when it felt like there was a goldmine of opportunity to do a lot more crazy stuff with it. But after really considering q!Bad’s actions the past week, the events of today, and reading some other posts I realized- it’s not how it seems.
Under the veil of silly goofy this is wayy more angsty and serious. This isn’t just another of the usual skeppy bits, this is different. q!Bad is genuinely devastated and mourning over missing his dear friend, to a degree we haven’t seen before. and he’s mourning over the risky things he had to do during the elections, which only put him & his kids in more serious danger. This so-called “vacation arc” isn’t a vacation at all.
This is a grieving arc in disguise.
The vacation, the jokes, all of it is done on purpose. all to build a facade for the audience, and for the character himself, who is lying to himself about the true weight of his emotions. (have you noticed how often he’s been drinking this past week?)
It’s being played so well that if you didn’t realize it at first, good I believe that’s the point. even the other characters are just now starting to notice & get actually concerned that something more is wrong, and their friend needs real support!
The truth comes out in things like q!Bad asking Foolish for a hug (and I stress: he never does this) yelling about not wanting to wear his armor, and saying he wants to “extend his vacation.” (more like wanting to extend his mourning period)
But it’s so obvious that his kids are the light that’s pulling him through this dark time. how fitting it is that he calls them his sunshines. especially when earlier today, Dapper and Pomme gifted him the scythe they worked hard to make together, with the fitting name of Sunshine Protector. afterwards q!Bad was emotional and literally said:
“I’m content right now… maybe I don’t need to extend my vacation.”
and that’s the line that made it aalllll click for me.
anyways to wrap it up yeah I’m so impressed with how this character arc is going :D
#qsmp#qsmp badboyhalo#now I just hope he’ll have some healthy closure lol#more of my thoughts on that ending line he said#on a vacation your goal is obvs to be content and relax#why would he say he Doesnt need to extend his vacation because he’s content….#that’s how i realized it was all a lie#qsmp theory#text post
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weather is starting to feel like i need to rewatch jatp
#netflix im dtil waiting on the renewal announcement ik u were joking when u said it was canceled pls bring it back PLS#or kenny charles owen jeremy maddi jadah evryone get to youtube make s2 from someone's garage#ill lend u MY garage like pls the show cannot end where it ended#carlos needs to meet reggie willie and alex needa kiss julie flynn and carrie needa be triple threat#THE BOYS CAN INTERACT WITH PEOPLE I NEED FLYNN TO MEET THEM PLS#i wanna see rose i wanna see 90s bobby and alive boys interactions#luke goin to his parents for closure letting them know he loved them sayin everything he needs to say f2f#i need to see evil nick#i need to see willie take down caleb#i needa see caleb in full power i need to see why julie could see them in the first place#i need more sunset curve more dirty candi with an i because it's a lollipop argue with the wall#i miss clowning around on jatp tumblr#l speaks#shut up l#jatp#julie and the phantoms#kenny i got connections like pls bring it back in fact i think we'd like it more if its shitty youtube vlog quality as long as its HERE
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saw someone say that kazuki's backstory about his ex-wife felt like just a filler sub-plot in this episode, and i have to respectfully disagree
#the whole point was that he's been afraid to change and afraid to seek happiness elsewhere and only hanging onto her memory#he said it himself#and until he accepts the past and accepts to change himself and move on with his life the plot wont be able to move forward either#we've seen him take the steps to be more responsible for miri and all. and now is the next step for him to also be 100% emotionally present#which he is able to do after getting closure thanks to his sister-in-law. and it ties in well with the family dynamics plot too#because he's not just playing house anymore .he needs to be there fully for miri .and rei also needs to realise a similar thing#that he needs to put effort into the family#anyway it was in no way 'filler' and i do suspect whoever wrote that post might just be unhappy about kazuki being given such an important#and emotional straight marriage backstory. some people are weird like that#buddy daddies
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[closed]
#in the simplest terms#I've decided this just isn't for me anymore#I might come back at a later date to offer a more in-depth explanation#but every time I try to gather my thoughts on the page and detail my reasons for leaving it becomes overwhelming#at the very least I needed to make it known that my bigbang blogs on tumblr and twitter are now closed#I will not delete anything but I no longer wish to be an active participant in the fandom#or continue the conversation -- any conversation -- about bigbang and its members past or present#I could have quietly faded into the background#looking on from the sidelines largely disinterested and disengaged#as I have done for the last month or so while I silently prepared myself to finally fully let go#as a certain someone once said: I've already withdrawn#however#rather than disappear without a word I wanted to make it official -- and final#because I value closure#and I might have a few followers left who do too#to everyone who ever enjoyed the content of my blog. my work. my voice.#and especially to the few who stuck with me through thick and thin#thank you
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rewatching passion and angelus is such a fucked up little man <3 but also he would not know the difference between a computer and a monitor <3
#au where angel destroy's jenny's monitor but not her computer#and the end of s2 doesn't happen because they just get his soul back#also forgot about the genderbending in i only have eyes for you. sick#first time watching: cool episode. 👍#second time watching: *pepe sylvia voice* hah classic MN episode it's so interesting how vampirism is the catalyst for buffy and angel's#rift but also the thing that allows for union/closure also cool to see the angel/spike/dru dynamic before it was more fully fleshed out#in later episodes not to mention coming around to spangel i think it took me until ats s5 to get into it because they're too young and#beautiful at this point and i need them to be middle aged and oh hey look there's the parking lot they always reuse as a cemetery set#buffyposting
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OWO OWO OWO felicity in anterrogade
Get Our Word Out (You Know Nothing About Us)
Get Stronger For Us (You're Not Strong Enough)
Don't Let Us Die In Vain (You're Letting Us Die Out)
Don't Fail Us (You're Failing Us)
#man ive been thinking abt how sad the entire concept of her character is and how much worse thats gotten#her entire tribe is gone and no one has any idea what happened to them#theyve been gone for decades before she even hatched. shes likely disabled bc of what happened to them#she won't ever know what her parents looked like or what happened to them at all. she has no closure#shes been featured heavily in the media and pushed as the miracle and last of her contact#and pushed to be something great because if she doesnt then shes failing them#and her disability being seen as more of a fascinating quirk of hers that she has to overcome#than something she needs help and acceptance for#and the pressure to continue her tribes legacy when she has no idea who they even were#and she still wants to connect with them but she has no way of doing so. even going back to the island#every trace of them is gone. no one knows. she doesnt know. she has no one to talk to about this#bc no one can truly understand what its like to be her. to be the last of her kind. to be failing at that.#(in an internalized ableism way)#and feeling like she has to do everything perfectly. on top of her fathers being criminals as well...#augh. she is so fucking tragic oh my god. i do wanna do more with her#felicity#pmd#pmd ocs#pokemon mystery dungeon#starfall#mail#moonscape#sneasel#weavile
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I’m gonna seriously cry when anne and sprig say goodbye. for real. no jokes here.
#amphibia#I had a whole brain spill about how sprig is probably really clingy to people he likes because of his parents going… poof#and the end of all in had him slowly coming around to the fact that he’s going to have to let another good thing go#but I feel like he’s still in conflict because man he’s 11 they’re fighting the moon like clearly this is the way things will be forever!#silly wacky adventures just him and their party of 4#but HP’s showing more signs and age and Polly’s developing her own interests.. with Anne leaving.. where does that leave him? yknow?#sure he has ivy and Maddie too but they also have their own things with their families#I don’t know where I’m going with this but it’s so sad and I’m sure he’ll figure it out he’s a good kid#but at least this time he has the proper chance to say goodbye unlike last time.. Anne’s not /just/ leaving him#but in fact they’re /both/ parting ways with each other.. and maybe it’s come closure he needs too#WAH emo over frogs at 2pm in the afternoon#candy laments
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I do 100% think it is always correct to accept the queer reading with tranquil certainty and conviction, secure in that, even if the person writing the story didn't exactly know what they were doing, it felt right to them. Not second guessing it or insecurely ironizing over it. But sometimes the takeaway is just- and this is not exclusive to (more mainstream) stories with queer themes, but it feels common there: This choice was either over-thought or cowardly. I don't feel "mislead" per se but there's a level of: What was this leading to? What was your red thread? What were you trying to say? The story got too big and this was your way out? There is no conviction. It feels like a compromise that panders to a group I am not part of. It feels like an overcorrection. Things can be unsatisfying and bittersweet in a way that works, AND in a way that feels like a cop-out. Stream one last kiss.
#I'm not particularly invested in kawoshin. Actually more than anything i felt 3.0+1.0 needed closure for the rei trapped in eva 1.0.#but that's second and third and fourth to shinjis way out being a girl with no interiority that he more than anything. does not know#because they have in total interacted twice.#i know she did well in the polls but is this true to your heart? is the way out NOT knowing someone?#the manic pixie dreamgirlification of eva#☝️if you're wondering what happened I recently did a full rebuild watch with my brother#anyway what was that kaworu homura thing
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Month 1, day 11
That arm just keeps floppin' all over the place lol
Oh well, at least it's mostly doing what I want it to now :)
#the great artscapade of 2024#art#my art#Forspoken#Forspoken fan art#Forspoken fan animation#frey holland#forspoken cuff#I get to work from home tomorrow :)#unfortunately I also have ~400 vendors that need to be set up ASAP so I won't just be chillaxin' at home all day#I don't mind though#I can concentrate better at home#less distractions#more kitty snuggles#second best possible outcome to this blizzard blowing in :)#first best would have been a third district closure lol#but the only reason we got Monday and Tuesday closed was because that blizzard hit at the start of the quarter#the quarter has now officially started so the Powers That Be are gonna be less lenient on the snow days
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You’re either an “I don’t need your closure” kind of person or a “how am I supposed to close the door when I still need the closure” kind.
#taylor swift#sabrina carpenter#closure#evermore#already over#emails i can't send#choose your fighter!!#I used to be the latter but now I’m more of the former#closure is just a weird thing in general#I have many thoughts about Sabrina and particularly because I liked a boy but we don’t need to get into that
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I'm a desitiny and it was just out of ignorance. You're allowed to feel however you want to feel but let's not pretend like none of us have done things that have unintentionally offended others. Kq has already put out a statement and I'm ok with it. I don't really understand why we need to go this far when intent is an important factor to thing like this. This song is not seen negative in korea and people will sing it without thinking. I get that. But I trust they will be more thoughtful moving forward. Being ignorant is not the same as being racist and i hope people understand that. You just need to politely inform them. My English is not the best so I'm sorry
to start, I'm sorry this whole thing happened to begin with. no one should have to feel disrespected because of their ethnicity, race, gender, etc.
I wasn't going to comment on this anymore, but i'll just say this. it's true that no one is perfect and we all make mistakes. personally, I was born and raised in my native country and much like korea, a lot of racist ideologies and mindsets were instilled in me growing up, and I most definitely have acted in a way that was unacceptable. however, gaining access to the internet and then moving to australia a couple years ago, I made friends of diverse backgrounds who taught me that certain things were not okay (usually when people were disrespectful to me and I didn't see it as such). things that I thought were just 'funny' turned out to be harmful to certain cultures/ethnicities. if I had outwardly offended someone with my behaviour, no matter what my intent was, I would've still apologized and did my best to learn from what had happened.
that being said, no one is a saint and we all make mistakes. I'm really happy (most) atiny handled the situation the way they did (by not attacking them and calling them names), and I'm glad the issue got acknowledged quickly. however, the majority of desi atinys I've seen have expressed wanting to hear from the members themselves, and putting myself in their shoes, I understand and respect that. one of my closest friends is desi and seeing her so upset over this was very difficult, and she told me that she would like to hear the members address this themselves. while I'm sure they did it out of ignorance (and not to directly mock a certain culture), desi atinys were still hurt and affected by this, and deserve the apology they want.
I'm not trying to invalidate your feelings, I respect your thoughts and I'm very glad you've gotten closure over this situation. but others haven't, and considering they're affected greatly by this, I don't think we should label their protests as an overreaction.
#ask#being middle eastern (a culture that's also dealt with a fair share of racism) my opinion on the apologies doesn't matter right now#but I'm sort of able to put myself in both atz and desitinys shoes rn and this is a summary of my thoughts on the whole situation#I'm not saying the members should be shamed and cancelled because that's just some chronically online bullshit that does fuck all#I just hope they all learn and grow from this#and that they educate themselves so they can be more welcoming to people of different backgrounds#because a safe space isn't very safe when you're always worried about what they might say about your ethicity/race/gender yk?#also an apology is so... simple? idk man it's not like they're asking the members to kneel on stage and give a tearful speech#I love ateez so fucking much which is why this whole situation had me spiralling#I just hope desi atinys get the closure that they need and deserve#until then I think non-desi people should sit tf down and let the people affected speak
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Can't believe my current hyperfixation broke me out of my month long streak of being unable to write anything just to write a potentially long ass byler fic when I never write romance. I'm so fixated on the idea of will getting to have something good happen to him
#stranger things#byler#and the worst part is (i say as if this isn't the thing i find fun) that my brain gets obsessed with character dynamics#and currently i belive the theory that mike has been a closeted homosexual this whole time and has been pushing his feelings for will onto#el (tho i'll be psyched if it turns out he's bi. it's just that the closeted homosexual theory seems to have more evidence pointing towards#it)#so because of that there's more than just will and mike to consider#el needs proper closure and understanding of the situation#and mike needs to confront that maybe he's never liked girls and that he can love el and it doesn't need to be romantic#and i also need to throw in will subtly coming out because mike was prodding into the idea of him having a crush on someone ELSE (gasp!#shock! horror!)#and guessed max of all people just cause she was the only girl in hawkins he could think of. and like he's just a fucking idiot huh#and then he thinks oh yeah maybe will likes boys and he's so fucking stupid that he can't see what's right in front of his face#even when will is like uhhh no?? i don't like lucas like that u idiot?? but would it be a problem if i like boys?#and mike is like oh fuck is that an option while in his head. and saying no that'd he great. cause he's so fucking gay#and he's just so dumb. he's a mess. i'd love to study him. i mean i am technically. isn't that what writing a fic from mike's pov is about#sorry for the rant my brain hasn't shut up for over a week#and then after all of this i'm gonna have to keep going huh#i'm gonna have to vecna SOMEONE#what is this gonna be??? like a 10K one-shot??? PANDA???#if i never finish this i'm literally gonna be so mad
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Has Aspen watched Wolfwalkers before? I think he would absolutely love that movie :)
YESSSS YES YES ASPEN FUCKING LOVESSSSSS THAT MOVIEEE
AND SO DO I!!!!!!! like i’ve never seen that movie before but i’ve wanted to watch it for a long time and this ask FINALLY made me watch it and oh my god HOLY SHIT IT’S ONE OF MY FAVORITE MOVIES NOW. i literally JUST finished it and i don’t even know what to say besides this
i need everyone to watch this clip in particular because holy shit i cried during it /pos. like i can’t even describe how much i love this movie and how much it means to me just wow WOW it’s absolutely fucking amazing and i definitely recommend it to everyone. the animation is stunning i love the main characters and everything is just so EXPRESSIVE and the COLORS ANR AHHHH THE WOLVESSSS
Aspen loves it. it’s one of his favorite movies now too (maybe his favorite idk i’ll have to think of what other movies he likes) but guys i don’t even know what to sayyyy that movie is sooo good
thank you so much for sending this ask because wow i don’t know what it is with me and wolves now but wolves are COOL and i LOVE this movie i’m so happy i finally watched it!!! :D
#i was screaming at the tv during the super intense parts like wow WOW this movie was amazing#imagining Aspen running through the woods as a wolf being so so so happy#i’m so happy i got the idea to turn him into a werewolf later on in the story so he can finally truly live#like Aspen turning into a werewolf marks the end of Silas feeding on him i think. it’s a brand new beginning. he’s truly alive and free now#and i love that so much#i’m so happy#i’ve gotta write down everything i’ve been coming up with for silas and aspen because it’s a lot and some people might be outta the loop#but basically after a very long time of being Silas’s bloodbag Aspen befriends a werewolf and gets turned#Silas was pissed because werewolf blood is kinda gross and Aspen now smells like wet dog and he’s overall less appealing#and Aspen is over the moon when he gets turned because he’s a wolf therian (otherkin) and he basically just got everything he’s ever wanted#and by then he already got closure for some stuff in his past (relating to how he originally died and one of his friends and ghosts)#so like he’s Happy. he’s so fucking happy. he’s the happiest person you’ve ever met by then#and also that is past the point where Silas eventually warms up to him (because aspen is literally a delight to be around#even to people as cold and heartless as silas) he still kills aspen for fun though. aspen is used to it and honestly doesn’t mind anymore#their dynamic is just sooo fun.#and i love werewolf aspen so much and need to talk about him because he’s all i’ve been thinking about and drawing#like Aspen is a bloodthristy werewolf who doesn’t know anything about his powers and Silas begrudgingly helps him because he’s Involved now#lots more happens in the story after this. it’s gonna take forever to actually get there tho like im a slow writer and haven’t even finishe#the first chapter. but yeah i love werewolf aspen and the werewolf who turned him is very cool too. don’t know anything abt them yet but im#working on it. anyway i love wolfwalkers u all should watch it because it’s amazing#ask#aspen oc#silas oc#brc ask#blood runs cold
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it just sucks that mike needs to feel needed and he doesn't look at nor understands the person who needs him the most anymore
#el doesn’t need him anymore#idk why vol 2 made it seem like she does#her finally letting brenner go and having closure with her trauma should've been IT#the starting point for her personal growth#and then... THAT happened#oof#meanwhile will is out here DYING to get a crumb of the attention and love he once was given by mike#so unfair#i wish will didn’t need mike as much as he does but that's not going to change anytime soon#and he's going to suffer more because of it#byler#stranger things spoilers#will byers#mike wheeler
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