Incorrect Batfam Quotes
*Dick is drunk and uncooperative
Dick: I have a secret.
Jason: What secret?
Dick: I wouldn’t tell you the secret! Shhh!
Jason: What secret? Tell me the secret!
Dick: Alfred smokes in the car. Jesus is okay with it, but we can’t tell Bruce!
Jason: Not that secret, the other secret!
Dick: I’m Batman!
Jason: Oh my god, you aren’t!
Dick: I WAS!!!
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Jason: God that Tim kid is annoying.
Dick: I like him. He was there for me when I was wounded in the line of duty.
Jason, flatly: You sprained your ankle running for a bagel.
Dick, gesturing to his costume: While I was on the job.
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anyway doing an impromptu fic game i did on an old blog that i like to call trope trio. you give me 3 characters and 3 different tropes and/or kinks + i write a fic but the gag is you have no idea which trope of yours i’m going to pair for each character you give me <3
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he will use every chance he gets to be a drama queen and if he doesnt have one he will create one
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nightwing being hurt in the field, and over comms he can’t get out what was wrong, nearly in shock, and jason puts on his best batman™️ voice and says “robin, report.”
and it snaps dick out of it enough to say concussion, possible broken ribs, and a gash in his side.
no one talks about it, and then a year later, damian does the same thing to tim
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Incorrect Batfam Quotes
Dick: Rise and shine, everyone! Good morning, rise and shine!
Jason: I’ll rise…but I refuse to shine.
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I think it’d be funny if Dick and Jason, due to wearing bright yellow capes on the job for years, are capable of stealth to a frankly unhinged degree. They barely have to try anymore it’s so second nature. Dick can just completely disappear while in the loudest neon clothes imaginable. Jason is constantly startling people who don’t understand how they missed a guy the size of a fridge standing right there. Bruce is extremely grateful for his unbreakable poker face because they have both startled him by accident and would never ever let him live it down if they knew.
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Dick: Dami. Damian no. Do not add a garrote to your costume—
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Officer Grayson: *arrests Jason for whatever, probably annoying him on the job.* *He leads him away in handcuffs*
Jason: wait. Is that Tim?
Dick: omg it's Timmy!
Tim, on a date with Bernard:
Bernard: ... Why are that cop and the guy he arrested banging on the window and waving at us?
Tim: *dead inside*
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