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#nesta is a boss
nestaismommy · 1 year
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“I made sure Elain packed them for her,” Feyre replied from her perch on the stairs, not looking at her stiff-backed sister standing at their base. He wondered if his High Lady had noticed the disappearing servants yet.
The secret smile in Feyre’s eyes told him she knew plenty about it. And what was coming for her in a few minutes.
When people say Feyre was scared for Nesta, and just wanted to help her, I remember this scene. Feyre excited she’s about to get fucked after telling her sister she’s embarrassing and taking away her choices and freedom. How nice it is, to have a sister who cares more about how her mate thinks, and about getting fucked by him rather than her own sister’s well-being.
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silverflameataraxia · 25 days
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Whenever I see a Nesta stan about to start reading ACOSF
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generalpeachyboots · 2 years
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This is so annoying, first thing I see after I open nesta archeron tag are posts that have nothing to do with her this isn't instagram people 😒
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foxylady13 · 1 month
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The Valkyries after winning The Rite:
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These three women really showed the rest of Illyrians how it's supposed to be done! They worked together and proved they were not to be underestimated.
Talk about a Girl Boss moment for Gwyn, Nesta, and Emerie 🥰
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Artist: Gessueter on IG
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Ok so Cassian is a bastard
He does not have a last name
Do you think he would go by Archeron after the mating ceremony?!?!?
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stargirlfeyre · 9 months
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The same people who call Feyre a white savior are the same people who want Nesta to go to illyria and “save” them.
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lucienarcheron · 10 months
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Banned by the Boss [ Nessian ]
Prompt: It was inspired by a post of Nesta going mama bear for her sisters. | Originally posted on my previous blog on 10.15.2017.
Pairings: Nessian/Feysand/Elucien Genre: Fluff/Humor Rating: SFW but the ending is a bit implied.
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“No.”
“Nesta.”
“I said no.”
“Nesta, this is ridiculous.”
“You shouldn’t have lied then.”
“Nesta, we’re going on a double date. With our mates. We don’t need your permission.” Rhysand said with a groan. “Lucien, help me.”
“Nesta, let’s be reasonable –”
“Shut it, foxboy or I promise you I won’t let you three hundred feet near Elain.”
Lucien immediately closed his mouth with a scowl as Rhysand snarled softly next to him. The two younger Archerson sisters’ giggles could be heard as they appeared behind Nesta. Elain gave Lucien an apologetic look, smiling ruefully while Feyre sniggered.
Rhysand’s glare left Nesta and he pouted at his wife. “Feyre.” he whined. “Tell your sister to back off.”
Nesta’s face now blocked Feyre’s. “Her sister won’t do such a thing. Go away.”
“Feyre.” he whined again and Feyre smiled at him adoringly, poking out from behind Nesta.
“I love it when you pout.” she said with a giggle. “You look so adorable.”
Rhysand scowled as Lucien snorted next to him. “If I’m so adorable, then come be adorable with me.”
“I don’t know Rhys.” Feyre replied playfully, her finger tapping her chin. “Nesta says you’re a bad influence.”
“We’re married.”
“Lucien isn’t a bad influence.” Elain said with a smile, her head popping out on the other side of Nesta’s.
It was Rhysand’s turn to snort and Lucien shot him a dirty look before smiling at Elain.
“I could never be to you, dove.”
“Yeah, because I’d cut your balls off.” Nesta interrupted, glaring at the pair of males. “The answer’s still no. Spend your night alone.”
“Nesta –”
“She’s my wife –”
“Goodbye.” Ignoring the outcries of both males, she slammed the door in their faces and the two stood with identical scowls.
“I told you we should’ve asked for permission.” Lucien muttered after a moment of silence passed between them.
“I don’t need her permission. I’m her High Lord.” Rhysand growled.
“Look how much good that’s done for you.” Lucien replied with a snort. “Where’s Cassian when you need him?”
“Aw, are you finally ready to confess how much you want me, Lucien?” Cassian’s voice called out as the two turned to see him coming down the hall, flowers in hand. “I don’t think it would work out well considering we’re mated to sisters though.”
Lucien gave him the finger, earning him a hearty laugh from Cassian and a reluctant smirk from Rhys. Clearing his throat, Rhys gave Cassian a look.
“We need your help.”
Cassian grinned. “Yes?” he asked sweetly and the identical scowls returned on both their faces.
“We need you to distract Nesta so we can go on date night.” Lucien replied and Cassian’s grinned widened.
“Really now?” he asked, his eyes widening in mock surprise. “What was it you were saying the other day, Rhys? About you showing Nesta who’s boss? How did that go for you?”
Rhysand’s scowl deepened as Lucien’s lips twitched.
“Still unclear.” he replied. Lucien sniggered and Cassian turned to him, brow raised.
“You’re not any better. I’m honestly worried about your balls considering she threatens them so much.”
Lucien’s scowl returned on his face and he threw Cassian a dirty look. Cassian chuckled and crossed his arms across his chest.
“I could do this all day, guys.”
Groaning softly, Lucien turned to Rhys. “How long are we going use Cassian as a distraction?”
“Cassian will always be used. Until she stops doing it.” Rhysand replied.
Cassian snorted next to the two males causing Lucien and Rhysand to look at him with raised brows.
“You guys realize there’s only so much I can do, right?” Cassian replied with a grin. “I mean…she’s just protecting her sisters.”
“From what? Their mates?” Lucien said with a roll of his eyes while Rhys let out a growl.
“She’s my wife.”
“Well that tone isn’t going to help you.” Cassian replied, trying not to laugh. “Ask her nicely.”
Rhysand glared at Cassian as Lucien gave him a flat look. Lucien gestured to Rhysand towards Nesta’s door.
“You knock.”
Rhysand gestured to Lucien. “I insist to give you the honors. You knock.”
“Nope, you’re the High Lord. I could never.” Lucien said firmly and Rhysand glared at him.
“As High Lord, I insist you knock.” Rhys replied through gritted teeth. “I knocked first last time.”
Cassian looked between the two and finally let out a laugh. It was amazing that these two high and mighty males were so scared of his lovely mate. Then again, you’d be an idiot not to be intimidated by Nesta Archeron. Especially when it came to her sisters.
At first, this particular overprotectiveness and banning of the mating bond was geared towards Lucien and sweet Elain. Cassian recalled the one conversation they had about it.
“He’s going to defile her.”
“He’s a good guy, Nes. He wouldn’t hurt Elain.”
“Of course he won’t. I’d kill him first.”
Needless to say, Nesta was a great cockblock. Where they went, so did she, lurking like a soldier of death, ready to strike the killing blow should Lucien make one wrong move. This caused a lot of giggling on Elain’s part and though Lucien bickered back occasionally with Nesta, he put up with it pretty well, his exasperated sighs the only indication of his annoyance.
But at some point in time, it seemed to dawn on Nesta that Feyre was the youngest of the three and was somehow married before the two of them and now had a husband who was ‘defiling’ her.
Thus began the banning of the mating bond between his High Lord and High Lady. Which was delightful for the Inner Circle. Azriel, Mor, and Amren were each taking bets on who would snap first. Cassian’s bet was on Rhys, of course.
It had started gradually. If they were sitting too close, Nesta found a reason to create a distance. If Rhysand made an inappropriate comment towards Feyre, he suddenly found his wife in another room far away from him. There was one occasion at dinner where Rhys was playing footsies with Feyre and Nesta had kicked him so hard, his eyes watered.
Feyre found this absolutely hilarious and Cassian had to agree wholeheartedly. The look on Rhysand’s face was priceless every time but like Lucien, he put up with it though very begrudgingly.
“Sweetheart, they’re married.” Cassian had told her when that came up.
“I don’t care. She’s young. They’re too sexual.”
“We’re too sexual.”
She had smacked him across the head for that, causing him to laugh as she blushed, muttering about how much less sexual they’d get if he didn’t side with her on this. He didn’t need to be told twice.
Tonight, however, was supposed to be a double date night for the two younger Archeron sisters and both Lucien and Rhysand had been stupid enough to try and hide this from Nesta who did not like to be made a fool of. As if they could hide anything from her.
Cassian glanced between the two still trying to decide who would be brave enough to knock first and sighed. He knew this would happen. It was why he was here with flowers. He knew they’d need him.
Pushing past them, he gestured for both of them to wait down the hall then knocked obnoxiously.
“Sweetheart, open the door.”
Thirty seconds later, Nesta flung the door open and squinted her eyes at him. “Yes?”
“Hi.” he said, leaning against the doorframe and holding out the flowers. “I wanted to stop by and remind you that I love you.”
The corner of Nesta’s mouth twitched as she crossed her arms across her chest. “I didn’t forget.” she said, then added more quietly, “I love you too.”
“I also wanted to inform you that the Commander, is planning to come out tonight.” he said, his voice dropping seductively and he grinned when Nesta’s cheeks turned red. He leaned in, closer to her. “Unless of course, we can bring him out now. I’m always ready to go.”
Cassian watched as Nesta glared at him but the bond between them told him she was anything but angry at him as she snatched the flowers from his hands. His grin widened.
“Elain and Feyre are here. We’re having a sister’s night.” she replied, her cheeks still red.
Cassian gave her a look and waved a hand. “Let the girls go have fun. We deserve some quality time.”
“Did those two idiots put you up to this?” she asked with a raised brow. Cassian already knew she knew the answer to that question. Your timing is awfully convenient.”
“I’m hurt you’re questioning my intentions, Nes.” he replied, his hand over his heart in mock offense. “Maybe the commander won’t make an appearance tonight then. His feelings are hurt.”
Nesta’s eyes narrowed, her cheeks flushing even more. “The commander doesn’t have a choice.” she hissed and Cassian gave her a signature shit-eating grin.
“Remember sweetheart,” he began and leaned in, only inches away as his tone dropped dangerously. “The commander is the one making the decisions. Your job isn’t to make orders. Your job is to follow them.”
He watched with great satisfaction as her fingers clenched around the roses he brought her, her eyes still narrowed, and her cheeks still flushed. The change in her scent already matched the intensity of his own.
Cassian looked at her with a raised brow as she silently glared at him.
It took a moment before she broke the silence.
“Girls.” Nesta hissed. “Sister’s night is over. Get out.”
Feyre and Elain’s grins as they walked past her, indicated they had heard everything but Nesta’s eyes were glued on Cassian who tilted his head knowingly at her.
“The commander, huh Nesta?” Feyre managed. “Go Cassian.”
Nesta growled as Cassian held up his hand to Feyre and he high-fived her all while his eyes were locked on his mate, the grin never leaving his face.
Elain giggled then yelped as Nesta grabbed her shoulders in a death grip and glaring at her two sisters. “Tell that toad if he so much as touches one hair on your head, I will break all his fingers then his face. And Feyre, tell your stupid husband to behave in public.”
Elain rolled her eyes and Feyre snorted, yanking Elain away and sticking her tongue out at Nesta. “Do you talk to the Commander that way, Nesta?”
“The commander is the one doing the talking, girls.” Cassian replied with a wink at the younger sisters and Nesta snarled dangerously as the giggles erupted.
“Leave.” she hissed, then yanked Cassian in her room and slammed the door. Cassian chuckled as Nesta turned to him and he held his hands up innocently.
“We had a date tonight. I just came a little earlier.”
Nesta eyed him and gently placed the flowers down on the table besides the door then locked eyes with him again. He raised his brow and Nesta stalked over to him, roughly shoving him down on her bed and quickly straddling him.
Cassian’s arms wrapped around her waist as he sat up with Nesta in his lap. He grinned widely when her hands slid under his shirt. “So how long do you plan on torturing those idiots?” he asked and she smirked at him. “Not that I mind, I get a kick out of it.”
“You also get me because of it.” she replied as she peppered his jaw, lips and neck with hot, little kisses. “I’ll keep doing it to constantly remind them who’s in charge.”
Cassian laughed softly then groaned as she slowly started grinding against him. “Oh yeah?” he asked breathlessly, his hands moving to squeeze her thighs.
“Mmm.” she mumbled her agreement, nipping at his earlobe and back to his neck, earning her another groan. “And guess what?”
“What?”
Nesta pulled back and her smirk widened as she forced him down on his back, her hands now delicately moving down his wings and Cassian bit his lip, fighting a moan. She leaned down next to his ear. “I’m in charge tonight.” she breathed.
“Is that so?” Cassian asked tightly, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear and tugging softly on it, trying to ignore how hard he was. “You sure you can handle that, sweetheart?”
Nesta’s response was to smile at him wickedly, slowly reaching up and letting her fingers tangle in his hair. She gave him a few seconds then yanked, pulling his head back and he groaned. Nesta leaned into him again and bit his bottom lip then kissed him softly, letting her tongue glide over his lips.
“The question is, can you handle that?” she asked quietly and Cassian let out a string of swear words as she pressed down on him and pulled his hair harder.
“I think I’m going to die.” he rasped and she chuckled.
“Good.” Nesta replied and leaned down again to leave butterfly kisses on his exposed neck. She looked back up and met his lust filled eyes. Nesta smirked again and goosebumps erupted all over Cassian’s body as she whispered her next question.
“Who’s your commander now?”
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sugarlesswriting · 4 months
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Ever since me and my sister were in the 6th grade we always had the tendency to like the bitchy characters because we both knew that the writers just made them that way to make the main female lead look better. I remember being in sixth grade and reading this book called The Awakening and the writer tried to really hard to make the reader to not like the bitch character in the first two books. I never thought it was fair and would be in the trenches trying to defend any bitch character that came on screen.
I bring this up because I saw some hate towards this character Nesta calling her a bitch. I don't know who Nesta is and I've never read any ACOTAR and probably never will but she's my favorite.
Haters upset that she's girl bossing too hard I see 💅🏻
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oversizedbats · 2 years
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The way I literally tense up whenever anyone I know IRL even looks at acotar….. hating Nesta is literally relationship damaging to me LMAO
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mournersinketterdam · 2 months
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lmaaaaoooo i finished the acotar series a few days ago and like damn
SJM we need more of your magic for the next acotar book
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nestaismommy · 1 year
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People act like Nesta put a gun to Feyre’s head and forced her to hunt. Feyre made her choice and shouldn’t fault her sisters for a decision she made. Or alternatively, she could have fucking pressured her father to actually provide for them rather than blame her sisters.
It’s really telling of Feyre’s character that she hung up a portrait of her neglectful, piece-of-shit father instead of her sister who literally went to the wall to try and get her back after she had been taken by Tamlin.
You’re so right!! The amount of people who say Nesta made Feyre hunt is crazy. Feyre chose to hunt, because of the promise she made to her mom. And you know what’s funny? Her mom never specifically told her to hunt, she just told her to take care of them. She could’ve done anything else. And it’s so clear she didn’t do it because she cared. Did she visit them to check if they are okay after she broke up with Tamlin? Nah, she visited them when she needed something from them. She allowed her “family” to disrespect her sisters. When Rhysand mentioned how her sisters “let” her hunt, she said that if she didn’t, she wouldn’t have been able to save him (and everyone else) from Amarantha. She didn’t say if she didn’t hunt, her family wouldn’t have been able to survive. She hated taking care of them. She did it because of that promise. She didn’t care when she was smiling like a freaking idiot because she’s excited to get some bat d!ck right after she told her sister she’ll isolate her, and called her embarrassing for just trying to cope.
Feyre in acomaf:
“No one was my master—but I might be master of everything, if I wished. If I dared.” ~ Feyre
When Feyre told Nesta she’ll have her building condemned in ACOSF:
Nesta tried to master her uneven breathing. One of the few choices she’d made for herself, stripped away. Feyre didn’t seem to care. Feyre had always been her own master. Always got whatever she wished. And now, it seemed, Feyre would be granted this wish, too.
It’s true, Feyre does get whatever she wants (because her mate is a high lord) and according to what I read in ACOFAS & ACOSF, it seems she literally just cares about her title.
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silverflameataraxia · 2 years
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Friendly Reminder
Elain gave Nesta a grand total of two weeks to overcome her depression, self-loathing, and trauma before crying to Rhysand about how Nesta wasn't even trying, knowing full well that Rhysand wanted to throw Nesta in the human lands.
This is also after Elain didn't even try for months while Nesta sat by her side, taking care of her, and making sure she was eating and drinking. Nesta didn't go crying to Rhysand about how Elain wasn't trying. Nesta didn't pack up all of Elain's belongings behind her back. Nesta didn't let the IC lock Elain up in a house. Nesta would have never even let the IC threaten to throw Elain in the human lands or lock up her in a CoN dungeon cell.
Elain tooks months to recover from her trauma, and she still hasn't even recovered. Why couldn't she have given the same courtesy to Nesta?
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adlibitur · 7 months
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i finished acotar and i honestly thought it would be worse
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hellodarling1357 · 3 months
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Hello! Heard your requests are open so could I please request a cassian x f!reader fic where the reader is a babysitter for cassian's baby girl (maybe less than a year old). cassian is a single father so as time goes on and cassian sees reader bonding so well with his baby, he starts liking her more and more. eventually asks her out and they end up getting together and all❤️
Tiny Toes
Thank you so much for the request! I had the best time writing this, it honestly could’ve gone on forever
A/N: sorry for the slight Nesta slander, I really do love her as a character but needed to have her do this :(
Enjoy 🥰
Word Count: 6.6k
You didn’t think you would be babysitting at this stage in your life but with your boss firing you because you refused to sleep with him, and then refusing to put in a good word for you when potential employers contacted him for a reference, it seemed like the next best, and your only, option. If anything, it was a means to an end in terms of supporting yourself whilst you got back on your feet and sorted something else out; the fact that you absolutely adored babies and children was just a bonus perk of the job.
When your close friend Elain told you that she knew someone who would really appreciate your help, you jumped at the opportunity. However, what you weren’t expecting was to come face to face with the General of the Night Court’s armies, crying baby in his arms and a distressed expression of his face.
“Y/N?”
“Yes, hi…” You trailed off, unsure how to address the male in front of you. General? Lord? But he didn’t seem to notice your hesitancy as he gestured you inside.
“Hey, I’m Cassian. Seriously, thank you so much for agreeing to this. I know it’s last minute, but somethings come up and I just… Well, I really need the help, so thank you.”
You smiled at him, taking the time to look around the open layout of the house as he tried to settle his crying daughter. You couldn’t help but cringe a bit at the state of the place. There were baby clothes and toys everywhere, plates and dirty laundry piled up, not to mention the daggers and knives that seemed to be scattered throughout the place.
“This,” Cassian said as he walked back into the lounge room, the babe now happily looking around, “is Otilia, or Ottie. Ottie, this is Y/N, she’s going to be looking after you while Daddy is away. You’re going to be a good girl for Y/N?” Ottie just smiled up at him as though he were her favourite person in the world, making happy little noises as she kicked her feet and grasped at the front of his top.
The sight had your heart melting. If you didn’t already know who Cassian was, there was no way in a million years you would’ve guessed that the male in front of you was the infamous General, the Lord of Bloodshed.
With Ottie still is his arms, Cassian moved around the room, gathering items, and trying to clean up what he could before leaving.
“I’ve left a note in the kitchen, just with all the general things like nap times, where the baby food is, where the nappies are, what her favourite toy is. But she’s a pretty happy baby so hopefully she won’t be any trouble.”
“I’m sure she’ll be perfect, won’t you, sweetheart?” You cooed at the little girl as she watched you with wide eyes. “Here, do you want me to take her so she can get comfortable with me while you’re still here?” You offered, as she wrapped her small hand around your finger.
“If you don’t mind. Don’t be offended if she starts crying, she usually takes a few minutes to warm up to new people,” Cassian passed her over, helping her settle in your arms, a protective hand cupping her cheek as he pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “Well, look at that, you’re clearly some sort of baby whisperer.”
Smiling down at her, you gently tickled her with your pointer finger, grinning as her feet started kicking, her sweet melodic laugh filling the room. Cassian hurriedly pulled the rest of his gear together, sending lingering looks over to the pair of you as he did so.
“Everything alright?” You asked as you sat on the green velvet couch, Ottie still in your arms. You knew how hard it could be for the parents, having a complete stranger looking after their children, so you tried to give Cassian the chance to ask any questions or dispel any concerns before he left.
“Yeah, yeah sorry of course. All fine.” He seemed to hesitate before leaning against the table as he watched Ottie, a loving smile gracing his features. “Sorry,” a sheepish expression replaced that smile as he met your eye, “it’s the first time I’m leaving her, and I can’t seem to make myself walk out the door.”
You softly laughed, trying to ease his tension as you said, “That’s completely normal. If it helps, is there a way I can get in touch with you while you’re out? That way you’ll know straight away if something happens?”
He gave you a grateful smile but shook his head, “No it’s nothing like that. After everything I’ve heard Elain say about you, I trust you with her completely. It’s more so that I just don’t want to be away from her, don’t want to miss anything, you know? Even if it’s just the same smile I’ve already seen a hundred times,” He chuckled as he got up to press a kiss to the top of her head, then her cheeks, then her tiny, clenched hands. “Trust me, I know how pathetic this sounds, I don’t even know why I’m telling you, but I just really love hanging out with her. It’s just been the two of us against the world, especially after everything that happened with…” He suddenly stopped, as if catching what he was about to say.
“Anyway, I should be off. I’m already half an hour late and have had Rhys mind yelling at me for the last 15 minutes. Thank you so much, Y/N. I should only be gone a few hours.” With a final kiss to Ottie’s cheeks, Cassian walked out the door.
"Well now, what are we going to do today, sweetheart?" You asked the small baby in your arms. She just fixed you with another smile and burst into giggles.
*****
You had spent the better part of an hour playing with Ottie, hoping to tire her out so that she would easily go down for her nap. You plan miraculously worked, after wrapping her up in a blanket and running a soothing hand over her stomach, she fell fast asleep without even the smallest fuss. Cassian was right, she was a happy baby.
You quietly closed the door behind you and headed down to the kitchen. With nothing else to do, you figured you would help by cleaning the place up. With the dishes washed and drying, the benches wiped, and rubbish taken out, you started on the piles of laundry, however, a small painting tucked behind a chair in the corner of the lounge room piked your interest.
You picked Cassian out of the painting immediately, the telltale red Siphons and overall uncanny accuracy making it an easy conclusion. You tensed upon looking at the female painted beside him. The similarities between her and your High Lady were all too familiar, this was clearly her sister, Nesta.
Quickly putting the painting back where it had been hidden you felt guilt course through you; you hadn't meant to snoop. You knew what had happened between Cassian and Nesta. Everyone knew what had happened. They had been mated for just five years before falling pregnant then two weeks after the baby, after Ottie, had been born Nesta had simply left. It was all the people of Velaris could talk about, wild rumours and stories spreading about what had happened. Eventually, the truth came out; she had left Cassian, left her baby, for Eris.
Elain had explained to you the pressure her sister had felt and had realised she was only with Cassian because everyone had said that was what the mating bond required. But she wasn't actually happy with him, and Cassian hadn't been happy with her either. Then there had been a visit to the Autumn Court, and something had sparked between Nesta and Eris. She had felt torn and confused but a baby was never something she wanted, and Eris was offering her a life where she could be her own person, not someone shadowed by her High Lady sister, according to Nesta.
Given all of this, you were surprised by how put together Cassian seemed. You couldn't imagine the conflicting emotions he would've felt with his mate leaving just days after they had had a baby. But he seemed to have picked up the pieces and, no doubt, had the support of his family during that time, but you supposed there did reach a point where his duties to the court had to be met again, and you were more than happy to step in and help where you could.
*****
Several hours later, you had just finished giving Ottie her lunch when a piece of paper appeared on the table in front of you:
Y/N, Cassian has asked that I let you know he is going to be later than anticipated and that he is very sorry for the inconvenience. However, if this doesn't work, let me know and I'll have someone over to watch Ottie as soon as possible - Rhys
You blinked.
Rhys? As in Rhysand, your High Lord? Just casually sending you a magically note? You blanched at the thought of him even knowing you existed, which, you supposed made sense, seeing that you were friends with his wife's sister.
You didn't mind staying longer to look after Ottie, but you had no way of conveying that to Rhysand or Cassian. As if your thoughts had been sent out into the abyss, a pen appeared atop the paper as if in answer to your question.
Hesitantly, you picked it up, unsure how to even start a note of this manner that would be read by your High Lord.
It's not a problem, High Lord. Please tell Cassian that I can stay as long as required - Y/N
You didn't have a chance to read over the message before it was whisked away by magic. But, shit. Cassian had introduced himself to you as Cassian, but should you have referred to him as General in your note? Had you been too informal or improper. Before you could mull over it any further, the piece of paper was back in front of you:
Lovely.
By the way, just Rhys is fine - Rhys
Well, that settled that matter.
*****
You had given Ottie her dinner and put her down for bed with little fuss. There had been a few tears once she sensed that Cassian wasn't there, but you had managed to coax her back to her happy little self by quietly singing and rubbing soothing circles across her dark mass of hair until she fell asleep.
Now you sat curled up on the couch with the makeshift dinner you had prepared and a book that had been on the bulking bookshelf that sat in the corner of the room. You were sure that Cassian wouldn't have minded your rummaging through the pantry but had made enough for him to eat once he came home just in case.
An hour or so later, you had been so engrossed in your book that you didn't hear the front door open or the heavy footsteps that padded down the hall.
"Hi," You looked up with a slight jump, having been startled by Cassian's sudden presence. He was leaning against the doorway and looked absolutely exhausted. "Y/N, I am so sorry. I was up at some of the Illyrian camps and, well, things were worse than I anticipated... I won't bore you with all that, but I am so sorry for keeping you here."
You brushed him off, noticing the tension somewhat leave his body upon realising you weren't bothered by it.
"It's fine, I promise. The High Lord... Rhys," Cassian grinned at your correction, clearly privy to the notes that had passed between the two of you, "said you were going to be late. If it wasn't going to work, I would have let him know."
Cassian offered you another grateful smile as he slumped into the armchair opposite the couch. "How was she? Not too difficult?"
"She was perfect. A few tears at bedtime but we managed to sort that out. I think she was just missing you." You could have sworn his eyes twinkled at your last comment.
"Before I head off, I cooked some dinner and left a bit to the side for you in case you were hungry when you got back. I hope you don't mind?"
"Mind? Y/N, you are honestly cauldron sent. You also cleaned? All whilst looking after Ottie. Thank you."
You felt your cheeks heat up and preyed he wouldn't notice your slight blush.
"It was nothing, seriously. I had nothing else to do while Ottie was sleeping so thought I would help out. Why don't you go up and see her? I'll get dinner heated for you."
Cassian sent another grateful smile your way before leaving the room, you laughed to yourself as you heard his steps pick up in pace as he bounded up the stairs towards his daughter's room.
*****
He came back 10 minutes later just as you were putting on your coat and collecting your belongings.
"I've left your dinner on the stove to stay warm." You said over your shoulder. He really did look exhausted.
"Thank you, you have no idea how much of a life saver you were today." You brushed off the compliment as he led you towards the front door. "Oh, before you go, we never spoke about payment? How much do I owe you?"
Honestly, you hadn't even thought about payment, it had completely slipped your mind.
"Right. Don't worry about that now–"
"Y/N, I'm not going to not pay you for today."
"No, I know. But you look like you're seconds away from passing out, no offence. So go back inside, finish your dinner then go to bed. We can sort the money part out later."
"Okay, only if you're sure? Thank you again, so much. Get home safe, alright?"
"I will. Night, Cassian."
You had barely made it to the front gate before the door was opening again.
"Y/N? Before you go, would you mind looking after Ottie again in a few days? Rhys is needing me to get back into my work, so I'll need to have someone watching her while I'm away. You're so good with her, so if you wouldn't mind..." He trailed off.
"Of course, she's an absolute angel. I would love to look after her again. Let me know when you need me."
"Okay, Goodnight. Thanks again."
*****
Over a year had passed since you first met Cassian and Ottie. After the first few weeks, Cassian had sat you down and asked if you would be happy looking after her on a more permanent basis, so you had decided on four days a week while Cassian was busy helping out Rhys and the Inner Circle. Sometimes you would stay until later into the evenings if Cassian came home with piles of paperwork, helping with Ottie's bedtime and cleaning up the house, despite Cassian's protests that it was his mess to deal with.
"Y/N?"
You had just finished feeding Ottie her dinner when Cassian appeared in the doorway. You looked up at him, waiting for him to continue as you wiped the food away from her chubby cheeks.
"Ottie is turning two on Saturday, and I was just wondering, if you weren't doing anything, if you wanted to come to her birthday party? It won't be a big thing, but she adores you and it would be nice to have you there," You smiled at him, delighted that he even considered you important enough to be there to celebrate, but before you could reply, Cassian hurriedly continued, "Of course, there's no pressure. You probably want a break from us, it is your day off after all…"
"Cass, I would love to be there." His face lit up as your response.
"Good. Okay. Great," He remained in the doorway, still softly smiling as he watched you pick up Ottie from her highchair, "Well I better... Still got some work to finish off, so..." He gestured back towards his office and then made his way out of the room.
You were caught off guard by the momentary awkwardness that seemed to radiate from him, not used to seeing him in any other way but the confident and playful General who was absolutely smitten with his little girl.
*****
Standing outside Cassian's house, you lingered on the doorstep as you hyped yourself up to knock on the door. It had only just dawned on you as you walked over that the guests at Ottie's birthday party, weren't going to be any old day-to-day fae. No, you were about to spend the afternoon with your High Lord and Lady, and their inner circle. Not a daunting prospect in the slightest.
As luck would have it, you weren't given a chance to psych yourself out before the door opened, revealing a grinning Cassian and Ottie who merrily clapped and said your name when she saw you, arms reaching out for you to hold her.
"Hello, Birthday Girl. Don't you look beautiful." She giggled as you cooed at her and pressed a kiss to her cheek. "Hi, thanks for inviting me." You looked at Cassian now who was fondly watching the scene in front of him playout.
"Thanks for coming," Cassian opened the door wider for you to come inside, taking the pink gift bag you had brought with you that contained Ottie's birthday present. "Fair warning, everyone here has a bone to pick with you."
You froze, body tensing at his words.
"What?" You would have cringed at the stutter in your voice had you not been so worried. But Cassian just laughed and led you further into the house, a hand on the small of your back.
"Well, apparently since you've come along, Ottie doesn't have the time of day for anyone else. She was fussing all morning until she saw you walking up the road through the kitchen window. You seemed to have gotten lost somewhere between the gate to the door with how long you stood out there, so we thought we would see what you were doing, didn't we Ottie?" Cassian gave you a knowing smirk, clearly aware of your nerves towards who you would be spending the day with.
"Come on, I'm just joking. They're all dying to meet you."
Right on queue, a female, who you knew without needing to be told was Morrigan, jumped up from her seat as you walked into the room.
"Y/N," She squealed as she bounded over and pulled you into a tight hug, Cassian quickly grabbing Ottie out of your arms. "It's about time we all finally get to meet you. First Elain kept you all to herself, and now Cassian? If you had said no to coming today, I would have gone over to your house myself and forced you to be here."
"Mor..." Cassian's tone was laced in warning, but you immediately felt at ease in her presence.
"Come on, let's introduce you to the others."
*****
To your absolute delight, the rest of Cassian's family welcomed you into their group with open arms. Elain had jumped up and refused to leave your side once she noticed you had arrived. Having been away with Lucien for some time, it had been a while since the two of you had been able to catch up.
After the presents had been opened - Ottie had adored the fluffy bear you had gotten her - everyone was lounging outside, watching as little Nyx sat with his younger cousin in his lap, showing her all of the presents she had received and telling her the best way to play with them in order to have the most fun. Clearly the ever-destined High Lord in the making, you had grinned, already seeing the type of male he would become as Feyre and Rhys watched on sharing content smiles.
It was only then that you realised that Cassian was missing from the group. You excused yourself and headed back inside, searching the house until finally finding him in Ottie's bedroom.
"Hi," You voice was quiet as you made your presence known, unsure if he had just forgotten something up here or if he needed a moment to himself.
"Hey," He turned to face you, looking as though he had just been pulled out of some sort of trance. However, his lopsided smile was quick to return as he said, "sorry for leaving you out there with that lot."
Letting out a laugh you walked into the room, "They're really not that bad. Imagine what the other courts would think if they ever saw the High Lord of the Night Court dressed up in a pink tutu with a fluffy matching crown on his head."
Cassian laughed at that, smile widening as the voices and shrill giggles from outside echoed through the bedroom window, but that reserved expression was quick to reappear.
"You alright?" You quietly asked, already having a sense of what was eating him up.
"Yeah, fine." A glance at your unconvinced expression had Cassian letting out a low sigh before continuing. "I thought she would've at least shown up today. I know she wants no part in this, but it's still her daughter’s birthday. For Ottie's sake, I thought she would've shown. She needs her mum."
You let out a sigh of your own now, crossing the space between you and wrapping your arms around him in a tight hug.
Pulling away you said, "Cass, I get it. Believe me I do. But Ottie is doing just fine. You're absolutely amazing with her and it's so special watching the two of you together. And in terms of her needing her mum, look at all the amazing females Ottie has in her life: Mor, Feyre, Elain, Amren. There's no short supply of love for her, if anything, Nesta is the one missing out on this."
The words had rushed out of you without being able to truly process what you had said. You and Cassian had never directly spoken about Nesta, it had always been an unspoken awareness that you knew what had happened and that was enough. Looking at the ground, you could feel yourself tensing with worry at the thought of having overstepped.
"And she has you."
"What?"
"And Ottie has you. You were listing off the amazing females she has in her life but missed the one who she spends the most time with. The one who she loves the most."
There was no stopping the blush that crept over your face as you stared back at Cassian.
"Cass-"
But the sounds of hurried little footsteps running up the stairs interrupted whatever you had been about to say.
"Uncle Cass, Uncle Cass," Nyx burst into the room, dramatically taking in deep breathes as he waved up at you.
"What is it, bud?" Cassian shot you a bemused glance, still somewhat laced with the intensity from before, then knelt in front of Nyx who lifted his arms and placed his little hands on Cassian's shoulders.
"It's cake time. Come on." Then he was running out of the room again.
"You'd think it was the end of the world with the entrance he just made." You let out a laugh but before you could respond, Nyx was bursting back in.
"Come on." He yelled, grabbing you and Cassian by the hand, and forcing you down the stairs to where Elain had just finished lighting the candles on top of the cake.
*****
The rest of the afternoon raced by, so fast, in fact, that you didn't have time to process the moment you and Cassian had shared until you were home. The intensity in his expression as he stared at you and the implication of his words... Your heart was racing at the mere thought.
Letting out a groan you tossed and turned in your bed, unable to settle your racing thoughts at the realisation that you had, somehow, without even being aware of it starting, had begun to fall for Cassian. To make matters even worse, you had no idea where you truly stood with him. Despite the closeness and friendship that had formed, he was technically still your boss.
You had a whole day before you were due back to look after Ottie. A whole 24 hours to figure out how you wanted to move forward in the wake of this realisation.
*****
Monday morning arrived much too quickly for your liking. It wasn't until the door opened and Cassian greeted you on the other side of it that you decided you weren't going to do anything about your feelings. He had been emotional the other day, grieving what he thought was missing from his daughter's life and, honestly, you thought to yourself, he probably hadn't even intended it to come out the way you had perceived it. He wasn't wrong, you did spend a lot of time with her. But you were paid to do so, so did it really count?
"Morning, Y/N? Have a good rest of you weekend?" Oh, sure it had been fantastic. Just a nice dose of inner turmoil. But of course, you didn't say any of that.
"I did," You smiled at him, acting as though your insides weren't currently screaming out. "Did Ottie have a good birthday? It was so nice meeting everyone."
As Cassian got ready to leave, your usual chatter filled the space as you made yourself a coffee, but you couldn't help but notice that his usual, carefree smile didn't quite meet his eyes, and that he seemed to be watching you as though waiting or assessing something.
"Alright, well I might be home a bit later tonight, if that's alright?" You brushed him off, of course it was alright, it always was. You sat down next to Ottie as she continued to happily munch away on her breakfast. "Okay, bye Ottie, you'll be good for Y/N today?" He pressed a kiss to her cheek before turning back to you, "See you later, yeah?"
"Mhm," You replied, "have a good day."
"You too." Then he was leaning down and pressing a kiss to your cheek as well before standing up and leaving as though nothing had happened.
What. The. Fuck.
You stared at the empty door frame he had walked through, only half hearing the front door close as he took off.
Again.
What. The. Fuck.
You turned to look at Ottie, as though she would provide you with some sort of explanation as to what just happened, or to confirm that it had even happened in the first place, that it wasn't just something you had imagined.
But she provided you with no deeper insight as she sat in her seat, happily kicking her little feet and giggling to herself. Upon noticing you watching her, she gave you one of her big cheesy grins you had grown to love and offered you a piece of the fruit Cassian had cut up for her.
*****
What. The. Fuck.
Cassian's heart was racing as he flew up to the House of Wind. What had he done?
Clearly you were more than happy to ignore his complete lack of control from the other day, when he all but said you were basically like a mum to Ottie. He was surprised he hadn't scared you off, especially when all you had signed up for was to be her babysitter, which was a harsh truth in itself that Cassian found himself constantly having to remember whenever he watched you and his daughter interact and he felt his heart stammer in his chest.
And then to turn around and kiss you on the cheek before leaving for work - as you turned up for work, he had to remind himself, again - as though it was a normal morning, between a normal little family...
He felt sick.
He had really screwed up.
"What's wrong with you today?" Azriel asked as Cassian landed with an ungrateful grunt next to the training ring located on the roof.
"Nothing."
"You sure?" Rhys now asked, sensing Cassian's inner turmoil even through the steadfast mental shield he had up around his mind.
With a grumble, Cassian lowered said shield, giving Rhys a look at what had occurred that morning. Scowling even deeper when Rhys let out a bark of a laugh. The snicker that followed from Azriel as Rhys showed him what had happened sent Cassian marching into the training ring, readying himself to forget his stupidity as Azriel approached to spar with him.
*****
He hadn't even got half an hour into his training before pulling up short, his mind was too distracted.
"Should I have stayed?" He blurtedly asked.
"What?" Unbeknownst to Cassian, Rhys and Az had been having a silent conversation whilst he had been spaced out.
"This morning. With Y/N. Should I have stayed and, I don't know, talked about it?"
He missed the glance his brother's shared.
"Well," Rhys started. "What would you have talked about?"
"I don't know, what is there to talk about?" Cassian snapped back, frustration and worry getting the better of him the more he thought about what he might now lose.
"Would you have tried to pass it off as a joke, or explain it away?" Rhys cautiously asked, trying to judge which direction Cassian's mind was heading in.
"Or would you have stayed and finally admitted your feelings to her?” Azriel interjected.
"My feelings?"
"Yes, you idiot. And the fact that you're in love with her."
"I'm not in love with..." Cassian trailed off though. He was, he absolutely was, and there was no point in denying it.
Azriel scoffed, "Please, you're in love with her. We've never seen you like this before with anyone."
"Well, Nesta-" Cassian tried to counter but Rhys cut him off.
"Nesta wasn't love. That was the mating bond, you've said as much to us multiple times so don't try to deflect now."
Cassian let out a deep sigh, he wasn't expected home for a few hours and a plan was starting to form in his mind.
*****
You had been surprised, but pleased all the same, when Feyre turned up with Nyx.
"Y/N! Hi, how are you?" You still weren't quite used to the casualness that surrounded the rulers of your court but did your best to act as though being in their presence wasn't one of the most intimidating things you had ever experienced.
"I'm good. What are you doing here?"
"Well, it's such a lovely day, Nyx and I thought it would be nice to get you and Ottie over to ours for the afternoon."
"Oh, thank you. Are you sure though?"
"Of course, we can walk back now. Go along the Sidra if you'd like?
"Easy, let me just grab Ottie's things."
Feyre shut the door behind you, Nyx already running over to where Ottie sat with her toys and planting a big kiss to her cheek.
"There's no need to grab much. Cass bought double ups of basically everything and has them stored at ours for when we look after her. Just yourselves will do."
You smiled warmly at her before scooping Ottie up, "Do you want to go play at Auntie Feyre's with Nyx?
Her excited squeals were enough of an answer, still, she excitedly said "yes, yes, yes, yes, yes," as you headed out the door, watching as her and Nyx ran ahead of the two of you.
*****
The afternoon spent with Feyre was the perfect distraction from your racing thoughts after what had happened with Cassian that morning.
The two of you chatted outside until the sun started to set, watching Ottie and Nyx run around across the grass.
"Well, hello, Feyre, Y/N." Rhys greeted as he walked out to join you, still dressed in his leathers, clearly having just got home.
You said hi back, watching with a laugh as Ottie caught sight of who now stood with you.
"Uncle Rhysie." She yelled, her little feet pounding across the grass as she leapt into his arms.
"Hello, princess. How's my favourite girl?" Ottie giggled at the nickname and hugged into him even tighter, "What do you say to a sleepover tonight, Ots?"
Turning to you, Ottie still in his arms, Rhys said, "Cass is fine with it. I think he needed you to head back at some point before going home tonight though."
"Oh, alright. Well, I might head off now then. Bye Ottie." She looked around at you, eyes wide as she wriggled out of Rhys' hold and ran over to you.
"You're not staying?" Her lip started to quiver so you quickly wrapped her up into a hug before the tears started.
"Not tonight, sweetheart. But we can play all day tomorrow, yeah?" She seemed to contemplate this for a moment before deciding it was acceptable enough and planted a kiss on your cheek before running back over to Nyx.
Feyre and Rhys were both smiling at you, clearly watching, and overhearing the entire interaction.
"What?" You asked with a laugh.
"Nothing, you're just really good with her."
"Oh, well..." You trailed off, not sure what to say as Rhys' words from before struck. Cassian needed to talk to you about something and, well, shit, clearly you were about to get fired, or, more kindly, were about to be told your ‘services were no longer required’.
"I'll see you both later. Goodnight." You missed the conspiratorial grin they shared behind your back, Rhys letting his thoughts drift over to Cassian's mind to tell him you were on your way.
*****
The house was dark when you got back, the only form of light was coming from the study and, from the looks of it, the backyard.
"Cass?" You called out as you closed the door behind you.
Hurried movements sounded from his office, then Cassian was quickly walking towards you.
"Y/N. Hi."
"Hi."
You felt as though your entire body was on guard. You needed to explain that you could easily put your feelings aside, but losing the chance of being in Ottie and Cassian's lives was something that filled you with dread, you would be happy to stay on in whatever capacity you could.
"Do you... Do you want to talk?" Cassian's nervousness was unsettling, yet you followed as he led you towards the couch.
"What are you doing tonight?"
That wasn't the question you were expecting.
You hesitated before answering, "Just going home I guess."
He seemed to contemplate your answer, looking so much like Ottie did earlier when you were saying goodbye.
"Dinner?" His voice was strained, leaving you even more confused.
"Um, yeah I'll be having dinner."
"No... Ugh this isn't working." He leant his head against the back of the couch, running his hands over his face.
"Cassian, are you alright?"
"Yes. No. I don't know." You were stunned, maintaining your silence as Cassian continued. "This morning, Y/N, I'm sorry. I don't know what that was, it just happened without me thinking about what I was doing. And then everything I said at Ottie's birthday. And now, fucks sake..." He trailed off again, leaving you just as confused as he blurted out "I need to have dinner."
"Oh, sure," You felt as though you were waiting for the other shoe to drop, as if his bizarre behaviour was some sort of test. "Did you want me to heat something up? I think there's still some frozen pasta from the other night." You went to stand but Cassian placed a hand on your knee to stop you before quickly pulling it away.
"No, it's alright. I've got it sorted." Then he was standing, offering you his hand as he guided you towards the back door.
You froze at the sight before you. Candles flickered across the table and the deck, a table set for two, lined with trays of food and a bottle of wine which sat in the middle of it all.
"Cass?"
"Look, Y/N, I get it if this is completely out of line. If it is then I am so sorry. But I needed you to know that this, whatever this is between us, means something to me."
You couldn't move, you were stuck on the spot as Cassian continued, the flickering lights casting a shadow across his handsome features.
"It's not even because you're so good with Ottie. I mean, you are, you're amazing with her and she adores you, so, so much. But it's how you treat me. Even that first time you looked after her, I was so close to crumbling. I felt so torn, between staying home and looking after my baby girl, but also knowing I needed to step back into reality and my responsibilities. It wasn't fair on the others that they had to pick up my slack."
You tried to interject, to say something about how the others wouldn't have minded, not one bit, especially with everything Cassian had been going through at the time, but he was already moving on.
"Not going to lie, I was reluctant when Elain first told me about you. It was nothing to do with you," He quickly clarified, "But more so because you were a complete stranger to me, and as much as Elain vouched for you, I still felt wary."
"Then you walked in and that first time you held her; I swear my heart skipped a beat. Even with Elain and Feyre, it took them ages to be able to hold her without Ottie bursting into tears. But with you, it all just seemed to fall into place." His voice was beginning to shake, and you silently wiped the tears from your eyes as he kept talking.
"But if anything, Y/N, it's the way you make me feel. Before even knowing me, you had me convinced that I wasn't completely failing at being her dad, that even though everything was well and truly fucked up, she was doing just fine. You helped me realise that I was going to be fine as well."
Cassian approached you now, calloused hands reaching up to your cheeks as he wiped away the rest of your tears with his thumbs. "So, I guess what I'm trying to say, and what I'm not doing a very good job of getting across, is that I love you?"
A watery laugh left you at the overall Cassian-ness of the statement, the sound making him grin lovingly at you.
"I love you, Y/N. And I am so thankful for the day that you walked into our lives and changed them for the better. And, assuming I haven't completely misread the situation, and assuming that those are happy tears," He laughed, his own eyes beginning to well. "I was wondering if you would like to have dinner with me?"
With his hands still on your cheeks, you brought your arms up around his neck and pulled him down so that his face was level with yours.
"I thought you were going to fire me." You whispered.
A cheeky smile passed over Cassian's face, "Well, technically, I suppose I am? I can't have my...whatever you are to me now, being paid to look after my kid now, can I?"
"How romantic. Being fired then called your 'whatever'."
"We'll figure that out later." Cassian murmured against your lips.
"Yes, I suppose we will." Then you were leaning forward, lips pressing to his, feeling as though you were finally home.
*****
Part 2
There are so many opportunities for bonus spin-offs that I’m excited to write but if you want to see any particular scenario, let me know 🥰
818 notes · View notes
sarawritestories · 26 days
Note
hiii i cant get ur fics out of my head so i thought i'd request one! i came across this vid on tiktok and i'd love to see your take on a cassian x reader fic w this vibe HAHAHA i dont mind whoever would be character a or b in this scenario so i leave it in your capable hands! my only specific request is that they're both in the IC hihi
https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSFay7B7J/
This was a lot of fun to write! I hope I did this request justice for you!
I Won't Say I'm In Love
Cassian X Fem Reader
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Summary: You are toe to toe in a sparring match with Cassian when he eventually has you pinned to the ground. After some banter Nesta, Gwyn and Emerie confront you about your feelings for him and it's later that night when the four of you are having a girls night do you realize what your feelings truly are.
Content Warnings: None
Word Count 1.7K
A/N: This song was stuck in my head as I wrote this.
ACOTAR Masterlist
You were sparring with Cassian, sweat trickling down your back as the sun unleashed the cruel heat of summer upon you. Opting to take off your leathers and kept the band around your chest and leggings just to keep your cool.  “Don’t give up on me now, Sweetheart.” He lunged an attack that you easily dodge.
“Who said anything about giving up, I’m just getting started.” You swiped your leg to the back of his knee, his hand gripping your calf.
Your eyes widened as he gave me a playful grin, both of us realizing my error. In a quick sweep Cassian maneuvered you to where your chest pressed against the mat and his chest was pressed against your back. His legs wrapped around yours locking you in place. You squirmed under him as he grazed his fingers lightly up your bare torso and you sucked in a breath as his calloused hands reached your arms where he pinned your wrist. You tried to break his grip as heat blasted to your cheeks. Cassian flared his wings and shade consumed the two of you, a reprieve from the unyielding sun. You continued to wiggle under his grip, He leaned in and whispered, “Stop wiggling.”
You scowled and continued your writhing, “You’re not the boss of me, you prick.”
Cassian chuckled, “I’m your general, Sweetheart. That does in fact make me the boss of you.” He gripped your wrist tighter, “I order you to stop wiggling.”  You rolled your eyes, and wiggled anyway and he growls low in your ear, heat pooling in your belly. “I will put you in Az’s dungeon for insubordination if you keep it up. Let the Shadowsinger remind you how to act around your superiors.”
You turned your head and batted your eyelashes at him, “Is that a promise, General?”  You emphasized his title and suddenly the pressure of his body is on you.  You turned on your back to sit up and saw him stalking back into the House of Wind, his wings ruffling. Nesta stepped forward offering you a hand, Gwyn and Emerie not far to follow.
“When are you going to put that insufferable bat out of his misery?” Nesta questioned with a quizzical brow.
You frowned, “What’s that supposed to mean?”
Gwyn rolled her eyes and looped her arms through yours, “Everyone knows that he is in love with you. I mean the way he looks at you and touches you.”
You laughed, “Gwyn, I think those romance novels are going to your head. We’re just friends, he’s just a flirt. Besides, I don’t even like him like that. He’s like my brother.”
That much was true Rhys had met you in Hewn City when you were both teenagers. You were about to get married off and taking the steps down the aisle when Cassian and Azriel came in and swooped you out of the city and into Velaris. Rhysand then placed you in charge of working with the citizens of the city of Starlight to help with any repairs or issues that needed to be taken care of. And had been a part of the Inner Circle ever since, it was helping train Nesta and the Valkyries that brought you true joy the three girls bringing you such a light in your life.
Nesta rolled her eyes as we all headed into the House. “Whatever, you say, but he never calls anyone else, Sweetheart.”
You bit your lip and kept quiet as the four of you walked through the dining room where Azriel sat. “Hello, ladies, how was training?” He addressed the group, but his eyes lingered on the red head on my arm.”
Gwyn just smirked, “Fantastic, Cassian was about to devour his Sweetheart on the mat today. It was romantic.” You glared at her, and her Teal eyes twinkled with mischief.
Azriel chuckled drawing my gaze to the spymaster as he looked at me, “Did he now?”
You crossed my arms, “No he didn’t, all he did was pinned me down and threatened to throw me in your dungeons. Also, Gwyn didn’t even”
Az looked to Gwyn, “You have a strange idea of Romance did you know that?”
Gwyn winked at him, and his shadows swirled in response. “Oh, you have no idea, Shadowsinger.”
Feeling the tension in the room, I announced, “Okay well now that we established that Cassan was not coming on to me, and whatever the Hel is going on with you two,” Both Az and Gwyn blush and avert the other one’s gazes, “I’m in need of a bath I’ll see you later tonight.” You walked over and kissed Az’s cheek. “Shadowsinger.”
“Sweetheart.” Az teased, you flipped him off and headed to your room. Cleaning off the sweat and grime of the day, the cold bite of the chilled bath cooling your overheated skin.
Everyone knows that he’s in love with you.
Gwyn’s words reverberated in your mind. Up until you walked into the library where your friends were waiting for you later that night, pajamas on and books in hand. “Ready for book club?” You asked, taking a seat next to Emerie, her hair in her regular braid.
“Yes, let’s begin.” Nesta said pointed stare looking you up and down with a smirk on her face. Looking down at the black silk shorts and top your eyes widened where the red lace was peeking through. You tugged down your shirt as Nesta began reading some of her favorite passages.
“Didn’t you just adore when the knight, came in to help the maiden with her nightmare, even though he has claimed time and again he doesn’t care about her.” Gwyn swooned and your mind drifted.
“Sweetheart, wake up!”
You opened your eyes and met with Cassian’s hazel ones. His hands cupped your cheeks, wiping the stray tears from your face. Cassian’s face held worry there. “What’s going on?” You whispered, voice hoarse and strained.
“You were screaming, calling for help. I came in you were thrashing about in your bed. Scratched me good,” You noticed then that his cheek had a slight gash that was already healing. “Nightmare?”
Your lip wobbled and you gave him a nod. He wiped the sweat soaked strands of hair out of my face. “Stay with me?” you whimpered.
Cassian pressed his forehead to yours and your eyes fluttered close, “Of course, Sweetheart.” And Cassian wrapped you in his arms wings covering you as if his wing could protect you from any impending nightmare to come your way.
Emerie’s voice broke you from your reverie, “I am particularly fond of when the knight dances with her at the ball.
Another memory flashed forward:
You dropped your bag and fought the tears; nothing was more embarrassing than having a date stand you up. A hand gripped your wrist, and the familiar scent of sandalwood told you who it was. You turned and found Cassian there his hair down and stubble grazing his cheeks, “I thought you were on a date tonight?”
I shrugged, “Someone has to show up for it to be considered a date.” His face fell and he gripped your hand, “Oh, I’m so sorry, Sweetheart.” He paused and glanced at you clad in a blue striped sundress. “Come here.” He pulled you close to him, his large hand splayed across your back as he pressed your chest your head reached his chest.
“What are you doing?” You asked, placing your own hand on his arm as he gripped your other hand, as he began to sway his wings tucked in.
“I’m dancing with a beautiful female,” Cassian grinned as he turned you both around the room. His grin was contagious and instantly the tears threatening to spill were gone and instead you began to laugh as he twirled you around until you both had exhausted yourselves and he simply held you close and swayed late into the evening.
Nesta’s snapping your face brought you back to the group, “Sorry, I guess my head isn’t here.”
Nesta smirked, “We were just wanting to know. Your favorite part of the book.”
You looked down and grazed your fingers over the cover of the book, “Um I enjoyed the scene, where Cassian-” You blinked and looked up at the girls all three smirking back at you. Then as though a ton of bricks had crashed down on you of memories flashing through of all the times Cassian has interacted with you, and your feelings came flooding to the surface you bolted up from my seat, “OH WHAT THE FUCK! OH GOD.”
Gwyn smiled and crossed her legs, Resting her head on her palm, “What’s the matter, Y/N?”
Not responding to them you bolted from the library and descended the stairs, the plush carpet squishing the bottom of your feet as you barged into Cassian’s room not bothering to knock.
Cassian jolted from his bed, dropping the book he was reading, replacing it with a knife ready, a general ready for battle. His face softened when he realized it was you, his hair was in a bun, a few strands falling down his face, and he wasn’t wearing a shirt, his chiseled body, and tattoos on full display. His brow furrowed as he noticed your rapid breathing, “Sweetheart, what’s the matter?”
Shutting the door, you leaned against it, “I love you.” You murmured looking down at your feet.
“Come again?” You looked up and Cassian had put the knife down, his chest still as though he wasn’t breathing.
You took a step forward, “I love you, Cassian.”
Cassian closed the distance between the two of you, your heart began to quicken as he gripped your waist “Say it one more time for me, Sweetheart.”
You wrapped your arms around his neck, “I. Love. You.”
He growled, “Finally.” He pressed his lips to yours the warmth of his bare chest seeping into your bones as pulled him closer deepening the kiss.
He pulled away his thumbs grazing your hip bones, “I have loved you for so long.” He whispered against Your lips.
“I’m sorry it took so long.” you whispered back. “I’m here now and I’m yours, if you’ll have me.”
Cassian smiles. “Mine.” He pecked your lips, as he slapped your ass eliciting a moan. “All fucking mine.” He kissed you again before pulling away, and kissing your nose, “Now be a good girl and take off your clothes for me.”
You smile as you grip the hem of your top, “Yes, General.”
Part 2 can be found here
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My hottest take is that the Hike From Hell is actually a beating. Like, I struggle to read it any other way than Cassian actually physically abusing Nesta with Rhysand and Feyre's blessing. I don't really see how you could read it any other way.
"But Cassian doesn't touch Nesta, he never lays his hands on her!"
Well what do you call it when a man, at the direction of his boss who is also his brother in law, forces a woman to do strenuous physical activity against her will for days on end? What do you call it when a man forces a woman to carry the heavy supplies, doesn't check if she'd eaten or had water, doesn't allow her to rest, and doesn't allow her to leave the situation until they've had sex and he deems her adequate for society again? He has no kind words for her and he knows that she's In a dark mental spiral and he keeps pushing her until she faints from exhaustion.
I'm serious. What is this, if not physical abuse?
Nesta "acted out" and the men in her life punished her physically for it.
It's genuinely disgusting how this scene is meant as an important step on the so-called healing journey.
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