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#name when u first learn about them u know you need to remember them bc of course they will be important to history. like of course you’re
destructive-path · 4 months
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jealous ex!ellie head cannons
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summary - your new reputation for being good in bed makes something inside ellie snap
in rotation💿: wherever i go - brent faiyaz
this song inspired me to write this frfr (listen to it)
tags: NSFW (18+) MDNI, jealous!ellie , ex!ellie, college!ellie/reader, subtop!ellie if u squint, sub!reader, oral (r giving), mentions of fingering (r receiving), mentions of sex, ellie is kinda a slut
a/n: i wrote this FAST so it’s not great but i had to bc ellie being like disgustingly jealous to the point of hating u a lil makes me sweat,,,,,,
-jealous ex!ellie who was your first, everything.
-jealous ex!ellie who taught you everything she knew about pleasing women.
-jealous ex!ellie who gave you “lessons” on giving head.
-jealous ex!ellie who broke up with you after claiming she had become “bored” at your lack of adventure, and dominance in the bedroom. (bitch)
-jealous ex!ellie who broke your pretty little heart.
-jealous ex!ellie who ends up being the cause of your major fascination with giving head due to the lack of opportunities she gave you to perform what you had learned from her.
-jealous ex!ellie who has trouble forgetting the way you looked when submitting to her during these sacred lessons, despite her eventual feelings of sexual monotony.
-jealous ex!ellie who flinches during class when someone behind her mentions your name in conversation
-jealous ex!ellie who stands harshly after listening to an extremely lengthy and erotic description of the head you gave the masc sitting behind her at a party last weekend.
hands balled in fists so tight they shake and burn red.
-jealous ex!ellie who storms out of class and makes her way to your place, knowing you dont have class.
-jealous ex!ellie whos brain can recall every detail she just heard, recognizing the way in which you had advanced on her classmate.
-jealous ex!ellie who knows that you had done to others what she had taken so long to teach you, and it was working.
-jealous ex!ellie who knew you never made her feel that way, it infuriated her.
-jealous ex!ellie who pushes into your apartment aggressively, ignoring your inquisitions as to her arrival after months of sporting a cold shoulder.
-jealous ex!ellie who has you like putty in her hands after slamming her lips onto yours in a fiery kiss laced with lust, hunger, and a little bit of hatred.
-jealous ex!ellie who pushes you on your knees, hard. recalling how much you liked it according to that stupid fucking lesbian who wouldn’t stop talking about you in her class.
-jealous ex!ellie whos voice drips with tease as she shoves her thumb inbetween your swollen lips “you been stealing my moves? huh? been slutting yourself out while remembering what I taught you during our lessons? oh f-fuck.” she stutters as you suck on her digit that’s pressing down on your tongue.
-jealous ex!ellie who tuts when you nod with a hum that vibrates around her thumb.
-jealous ex!ellie who unbuttons her pants with one hand and plays with your mouth with the other. fingers rubbing along the top of your lips, tracing the corners and pinching the plump slick skin slightly agape in front of her.
-jealous ex!ellie who nods to her crotch, button and zipper no longer intact, boyshort underwear band sitting so low on her waist that it accentuates her v line in a way that makes you drool. then she speaks in a low tone “take them off.” in reference to her jeans that sag on her ass. “show me what you never got to. show me how well I taught you.”
-jealous ex!ellie who growls at the feeling of your tongue on her cloth covered cunt.
-jealous ex!ellie who grips the back of your neck as you fuck your pink pulsing muscle in her pink pulsing pussy, grinding on your face sloppily.
-jealous ex!ellie who wouldn’t dare tell you in this moment how good you made her feel, not wanting to give you the satisfaction that you did indeed take in everything she taught you.
-jealous ex!ellie who didnt need to tell you anyways, deliciously lewd sounds giving her away.
-jealous ex!ellie whos voice cracks every time she tries to tell you what a slut you were being, eating your ex out without a protest insight.
-jealous ex!ellie who knew your meaningless hookups were inspite if her, a tactic to lure ellie back in.
-jealous ex!ellie who didnt think your plot would actually get to her, that she would find herself so desperate to come from your nothing but your mouth.
-jealous ex!ellie who discarded her reluctance to praise you as her climax approached nearer. “f-fucknn- shit shit y-yes baby keep sucking it just like that. fuuuck you really d-did learn huh? you like being my slutty little student? hmm? s-shoulda fucked this pretty mouth of your a long time ago-OH.”
-jealous ex!ellie who comes on your mouth at the sight of your doe eyes staring up at her while you lap at her juices.
-jealous ex!ellie who massages your scalp, jaw, and cheeks while humping your face, riding out her high.
-jealous ex!ellie who is a mess of hums and open mouth “oh oh oh’s” as you kiss and kitten lick her cunt, mewling due to the sensitivity.
-jealous ex!ellie who mentally notes that she loves being over simulated by you.
-jealous ex!ellie who grows a little more jealous knowing her suspicions had been confirmed, you were absolutely not the same person she used to know. worst of all you were no longer hers.
-jealous ex!ellie who decides she is going to fuck you all night until you were begging to belong to her.
-jealous ex!ellie who repeats “whose pussy is this?” whilst fingering your creamy walls, (due to cumming for the 5th time) unrelenting until you chant the word “yours” until she is satisfied.
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euphoricsunflowers · 2 years
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until my lips turn blue — jeon wonwoo
a/n: thank you to @etherealyoungk for inspiring the confidence and motivation i needed for this! and thank u to @pusoatbuwan for being the best thank u bestie :) i hope you all like it !!
word count: 6.8k
content: fem!reader, mafia au, non idol au, mafia boss!reader, hacker!wonwoo, seungcheol is a bit of a dick i’m so sorry this is not representative of him irl, bestie mingyu, random monsta x kihyun cameo bc i needed a random idol lol, angst, mentions of food, murder, weapons, and drugs to varying degrees.
summary: to thank you for your gracious efforts in tracking down an attacker, seventeen offers to repay your favor. you ask for a date with the cute one with glasses.
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“so,” you say, gazing at the fresh scar on seungcheol’s cheek. it hasn’t had a chance or any time to fade yet and you can tell by the fire in the eyes of his men that this was recent, “what happened?”
it’s hard to remember how you exactly got wrapped up in this mess. seungcheol ‘invited’ you over to discuss a certain issue, something vague like ‘internal matters’, but it felt off from the get-go. something was wrong.
and, clearly, you can tell something is wrong now.
he heaves out a sigh, letting his head fall into his hands before pushing his hair out of his face, “i don’t even know,” he says, “all i know is that my underboss in currently in the hospital, lying to every single medical personnel about why he has stab wounds on his thigh.”
your eyes wander around the room and they find a picture of seungcheol with another person, smiling like they were friends. you’d learn later that was him. yoon jeonghan. the underboss.
there’s 11 other people in this room besides you and seungcheol, which adds up in relation to your current knowledge of seventeen’s higher-ups. contrary to the name, there's 13 of them that are considered the most important to the seventeen organization, including their boss.
Seungcheol eyes burn into you, but you hold your ground, “well, that is unfortunate. i do send him my best regards, and i hope he recovers well and quickly, but i suppose…” you look around at all of the others, as if to calculate in your head the best move, “i don’t know what it is you want from me.”
“if i may be blunt,” he says as a proposition, but it’s more like a question. you nod, “i don’t know either,” he admits, “i don’t know what i expect you to be able to do, much less be willing to do. what i do know though, is that you have a reputation of being able to track people down like a hawk.”
you don’t acknowledge the compliment. he shifts, almost uncomfortably.
“all i am currently requesting is your assistance in finding the one who attacked us. should you help us, we will compensate you in whatever means you see fit,” he says almost desperately, you can’t see it in his face but you feel it, “i want revenge. i need your help to get it.”
“you’ll make sure i get something out of it?”
he sighs, “i’ll see to it that you get whatever you want out of this.”
“what do you know?” when you ask, one of the 11 other men steps up, handing a folder to you.
he doesn’t bother introducing himself, but you know of him. he’s incredibly well known for being able to gather information. he probably knows the street you grew up on and the color of your socks right now off the top of his head. his name is joshua, you remember. you’ve heard someone call his name before.
“these are stills from the security footages of the compound. this here—” he points to a spot on the first paper in the folder, “— is our guy. right here, he gets into a car. i ran the license plate, and it’s registered this individual here.” he points again, this time to a mugshot in the next page. there’s a list of charged and convicted crimes next to the picture, “but i don’t think they’re the same person. they have different builds.”
you agree, soon focusing on the name of the individual the car belonged to, “i know this man.”
seungcheol perks up at the good news, “you do? from where?”
“he’s the director of financial operations at a company an associate of mine owns. he’s very powerful, but he’s also had accusations of corruption and funding violence for years,” you say, “he responds to me directly, actually. it shouldn’t be too hard to get the info out of him.”
“well then,” seunghcheol says, “my men will assist you in any way required for the operation. feel free to ask for their assistance,” and with that, he leaves the conference room.
“is there anything required of any of us for you to investigate, miss?” one of them says after a moment. he’s tall, has too pretty a face for this kind of business. he kinda looks like a puppy.
“no, i should be able to go from here,” you make eye contact with another one. he’s wearing glasses, the thin frames complimenting his face well. he doesn’t acknowledge you more than just the brief eye contact, looking away as soon as it happens, “i’ll call the director now.”
“go right ahead,” joshua says, and you pull your phone out and call him, putting it on speaker.
the phone rings several times. there’s an unplaced tension in the room, and you’re not sure who exactly here is bubbling with anger, but you reconcile it with the fact that these are not just associates. they’re friends. and their buddy is in the hospital.
right before the last ring ends before it’ll stop trying, he picks up.
“hello?” he says.
“director lee, hello, thank you for taking my call,” you say, feeling eyes on you from all over the room.
he responds, “ah yes, hello boss. it’s my pleasure. what can i do for you?”
“well, i was hoping you could inform me on something,” you say, relaxing more into the chair, “you see, i’ve been looking for an individual who was found driving your car last night in unknown territory. did you know about this?”
he pauses. you can tell it’s to come up with a lie on the spot, “no, in fact. i had just assumed my car was stolen. i was almost about to alert the police, but i’m sure you understand why i did not.”
“i understand, director. i need you to cooperate with me,” you say.
“yes, boss. what can I do for you?” he asks.
you take in a deep breath, saying, “for reasons i am unable to disclose, i believe this individual is after us. also, the most recent sighting of your car after it was found so far away is in our territory, at the diner down the street from headquarters,” you fake a pause to hopefully show some hesitancy. you were far too good at playing scared, “i am… nervous, director. this individual stole your car, could have obtained the weapons we keep near the peer, there’s no telling what they’re up to or who sent them.”
the all watch you make a dramatic voice as you play up any potential worries. that’s the only way he’ll talk.
“i understand, miss. may i speak openly?” his question makes them all look up, and you almost have to mute yourself to silence your victory.
“yes, director. tell me,” you say with a hidden smirk on your face.
he pauses, and you worry for a second that he’s going to chicken out, but he doesn’t, “i sent the individual. my car was never stolen.”
bingo.
you ask, “who is it?”
“i’ll send over the information after this call,” he says. there’s a smile on joshua’s face as you look up, both silently understanding the victory you just won, “i wanted to send a message to seventeen, but he must have been attacked because he sent me a voice recording shortly after coming into contact with one of the higher-ups. something about accidentally hurting one of them before he got a chance to say something.”
you ask, trying to prompt more out of him, “what were you trying to say to them?” you only ask because you know they’d want you to.
“i do not have the best relationship with their leader. the reason is unrelated to our purposes in our group. i apologize for stressing you, boss.”
you respond with a simple, “i see, thank you, director.”
“of course, miss, should i send you the information right away?” he asks.
“yes, as soon as possible. have a good day, director,” you say and hang up. you look up at them as your phone pings. you show the notification to joshua.
“that’s him,” he says, pulling out a still from his folder, matching them up side-by-side, “this is our guy.”
“i can find him, leave that to me,” you say, “as a favor to seventeen, i’ll take care of him. you will all owe me, though. both for that phone call and for getting my hands dirty.”
“don’t get cocky,” another one says. he’s short, but he’s got this energy that screams ‘fuck with me, i dare you’, “let me know when you get it done.” he hands you a piece of paper with a string of numbers on it. lee jihoon.
you smile, almost like a smirk, “okay.”
and out the room you go.
he’s dead by the morning. you tell jihoon, and get no response, he simply hangs up as soon as he gets the news.
the letter is addressed from all of seventeen, but based on the formality of word choice, none of them had a hand in writing it. it was probably written by some subordinate, but it gets a simple message across.
seventeen’s acknowledgement that you were owed a favor. the, in writing, paper that guaranteed you something in return. it felt like solid gold.
you spend some time thinking about what it is exactly that you would like from them. there’s not many limits. if you wanted someone dead, they’d have it done by sunset. if you want illegal weapons for your own plans, they would provide them easily. anything you want, they could do.
that was what was so nice about your relationship with seventeen: you may not get along as people, but you get along as business partners. there is no worry that you will be attacked in their headquarters, and vice versa.
but did you need illegal weapons? not really. your casino heist plans were being made smoothly, and there were not many materials you could have requested to make it any easier. you had access to everything you would need, and then some.
did you need anyone dead? not particularly right now. there’s nothing you need help with right now, aside from maybe needing help with throwing a surprise birthday party for your niece. that, though, was doable on its own.
and then, the idea dawns on you.
the letter you return back is, on the contrary, written by you. seungcheol knows it’s you, because he’s seen your handwriting. you state your pleasure with working with them. you thank them for their assistance, especially joshua’s, in finding the first piece of evidence.
the moment you are done with formalities, you don’t hesitate to describe, in extreme, excruciating detail, the favor you would like back from them.
‘a date with the cute one that wears glasses’
you ask for a date. you couldn’t remember his name at the time of writing, so you describe him as the ‘one with the glasses’. you describe exactly what you want: a fancy restaurant dinner, him dressed in a suit with styled hair away from his eyes and maybe some jewelry, definitely wearing his precious specs. you’d pay, he’d walk you to your car, and the second the door shut and you were being driven away, seventeen will have paid their favor back.
your letter even reads:
‘there are no ulterior motives. should the favor be paid back successfully, SEVENTEEN will not be bothered over this matter again. should the favor not be paid back in this way, an alternative favor will not be provided unless sufficient reason is given.”
seungcheol almost laughs when he sees the letter, as he’s the first to read it. he wonders if you’re even being serious. it’s probably the most ridiculous request he’s ever gotten, but he can’t come up with a single reason as to why you’d play a prank like this, so he comes to the conclusion that you’re most likely serious.
a copy of the letter is sent over to wonwoo, the one with the glasses, and he reads it probably fifty times. maybe fifty-one.
nothing has ever made him so embarrassed, that’s the issue. not a single mistake he’s ever made or being chastised for not being good enough at his job has had the same effect. he feels the way mingyu’s eyes bore into him, knowing that wonwoo told him all about how he thought you were pretty, and that if you weren’t 1) a boss and 2) literally terrifying to speak to, he’d be down bad.
he feels awkward and clumsy for sticking out, for being the one pushed into the spotlight. he doesn’t particularly want to be the center of attention, but here he is, in his boss’s office, surrounded by his closest associates. he feels weirdly small as he sinks into the chair.
“i know this is… unconventional, wonwoo,” seungcheol says to him, leaning against his desk, “but you need to do this. it’s only dinner and we can’t owe her for much longer.”
“i know,” he says.
seungcheol continues, “there isn’t much of a choice, as well, you know that right?”
wonwoo recognizes the fading scar on seungcheol’s cheek as seungcheol talks to him. he remembers the moment it happened.
this was more than just giving you what you wanted so you were even as groups, but about genuinely thanking you for such a deed. he remembers watching jeonghan get stabbed in the thigh to protect chan. he remembers all the blood, that horrified look on chan’s face. that guy must have known he was a dead man the second he hurt jeonghan, that could have been why he ran. seungcheol is protective of all of them, but especially him.
“i know, i’ll do it,” he says, “i’ll do whatever is required of me. you know that, boss.”
“i know you will, it’s just that…” seungcheol looks uneasy, shifting his eyes away, “i don’t want this to become a bigger thing. don’t develop feelings, don’t do anything to make her develop feelings. just don’t make this messy. and don’t make it my problem.”
“i won’t,” wonwoo is, even in the best case scenario, slightly overestimating himself. he knows that, yet he still lies (not exactly but that’s what it feels like) through his teeth, “this won't become a problem.”
“it better not, now go,” seungcheol orders, trying to make it sound harsh. it doesn’t, though, not to wonwoo. it sounds more like ‘don’t fuck this up for yourself’.
wonwoo reads your letter for the fifty-second time. this time, he’s closely checking your instructions on how you wanted him to dress. it’s a little bit weird, but he supposes you’re going somewhere fancy, and maybe he has to match.
he sighs dramatically, he doesn’t know what the hell he’s doing.
why is he dressing up in a suit he never wears to come meet you, a literal mob boss that thought he was cute, at some restaurant he doesn’t even know exists, to have dinner with you and play along to make you happy but not enough for either of you to get too attached?
what does he even think he’s doing?
he has literally killed people before, but that was so much simpler than this. slicing someone’s throat is so much less complicated than picking out a tie to wear to your date. everything down to asking him to wear a little bit of gold jewelry— gold, not silver— was complicated. he doesn’t understand this at all.
he’s somewhat horrified that this will go wrong, but if he thinks about it as only ‘a pretty girl asked him on a date’ and forgets all the context, he can breathe slower.
He leaves the compound with mingyu to act as a body guard, and then to sit at the bar area during your date to be there in case something happened. mingyu had told him he had no plans of interrupting anything in case the date goes a little too well, but he did want to be there in case something worse happened and wonwoo wasn’t able to fight on his own.
mingyu enters before him, actually. wonwoo waits by the entrance, just as your letter requests, and he almost wonders for a second if this was all just an elaborate ploy of yours, something just to waste time as you’re comfortably doing whatever mob boss stuff you normally do.
that is until you’re in front of him, in the most stunning sapphire dress he’s ever seen in his life, and he sees why you requested a navy suit on him. you both match perfectly, and he can help but blush like a freaking anime girl when you walk in together. you’re so breathtaking, the kind that could kill.
you had made reservations apparently, and all he could do is watch and follow along cluelessly as you’re taken to the table, and you both sit down.
you take in a breath, and then really look into his eyes. you don’t say anything for a moment, so he tries to start.
“hey,” he says, a little bit breathless, “you look gorgeous, by the way.”
“oh, you don’t have to flatter me, dear. that’s not required of you,” you laugh, and god, it is so beautiful. he could faint right now.
he forgot, honestly, that he didn’t have to impress you. he berated himself for a second when he realizes that he complimented you of his own volition, because he wanted to. that was bad.
“it’s okay, you don’t have to act so nervous. i don’t have any intentions to hurt you,” you say, reaching out for his hand. his hand tremors really had to come at the worst times. your hand is so warm (and he’s such a cold person, he could get used to warm hands holding his cold ones), “is this where you start wondering why i asked you to come on date with me?”
“i’ve been wondering since i read the letter,” he responds. he’s fidgeting, nervous. you have such an intense stare that’s hard to match.
“i’m sure you have,” you say, “if i’m being honest, it didn’t feel like there was much i wanted to ask for. everything is alright— knock on wood— for the moment with me. and i,” you pause, and it catches his attention even more, “i wanted something like this. something normal.”
“i take it… mafia life isn’t really for you, huh?” he half-asks.
“i suppose it’s not too bad of a fit, actually. i think the heists and gambling and money-laundering isn’t too bad. that kind of stuff has been my whole life, so it’s kinda fun to me,” you say, “but it prevents you from living simply. there is no family, there’s no relationships, no house on the hill. i feel like i’m missing out on that aspect of life.”
“yeah, you’re right. i suppose it is sad,” he says. he’s not sure what else to say.
you just continue, “and i just… i wanted to experience something different tonight. maybe i shouldn’t have involved you in my attempt to feel that, or at least didn’t force you to be here.”
“i’m not forced to be here,” he says, even if it’s honestly not very true, “i think i want to be here, too. i’ll experience it with you.”
you smile, and this time it’s softer than he’s ever seen. he can’t seem to remember why your presence was so intimidating before, because in this moment, you are nothing but warm and inviting, “okay, then. it’s settled. let’s have a beautiful night.”
it was cheesy, sure, but it made his heart flutter all the same.
he sees mingyu out of the corner of his eye. he’s sitting at the bar, making small talk with the bartender. wonwoo and mingyu make eye contact, and it’s almost like a series of questions: ‘how is it going? are you alright? do you need me to step in?’
and wonwoo gives a small smile back at him, as if to say ‘i think i’m okay’.
he looks back at you, as you give your order to the server. he doesn’t see someone evil or done anything that is commonplace for his and your kind of life. he just sees you: someone aching for something different. something soft and sweet and normal.
dinner with him flies by, filled with pretty conversations about each other’s lives. you both skirt around conversations about your groups, instead choosing to focus on yourselves. he learn about your hobbies and passions, you learn about his friends and what he likes to do in his free time.
you tell him about the time you were robbing a bank when you were younger. maybe 17. you tell him about the restaurant that’s a front for high-up associates that you used to go to when you were younger. you tell him about how your dad’s assasination put you in the boss spot when you were 19 and stupid and too young for that kind of power. it went to your head and has barely worn off since.
he tells you about how mingyu and him have saved each other’s asses maybe 500 times each. he tells you about how he likes computer games, that if he was given a second shot at life, he’d be a pro-gamer for sure. he tells you about his cat, ranting about how cute it is (and he looks adorable doing it).
wonwoo realizes what’s happening while it’s happening; he’s not dumb or oblivious. he realizes that with every smile, every laugh, every time you get passionate about what you’re talking about and make these dramatic hand movements, and every time you unconsciously make that cute thinking face, he’s falling for you more and more.
and yet he doesn’t have it in himself to pull back; instead, he chooses to lean in. he smiles when you smile, laughs when you laughs, plays along when you tell him overly dramatic stories. he’s so mesmerized that he doesn’t notice the passage of time, how late it’s getting.
what he does notice is you reaching to grab the bill that was dropped off by the server. he snatches it before you can, and quickly puts the money in, catching the server’s attention and asking them to take it now.
you make a upset face at him, but it doesn’t hurt him in the slightest, “my treat.” he says simply.
“i was supposed to pay! you didn’t have to do that!” you argue, and he looks at you with a kind of vulnerability that is so raw, it’s almost infuriating.
“i wanted to. for you.”
you stand, so he stands too. you turn to walk away, but he grasps your wrist at the last second. he thinks you’re about to storm off, mad or something. why were you mad at him? he was trying to do something nice for you!
it’s until you groan and turn back around, getting so so close to him that the rest of the word fades out of view. for a moment it’s just like that. there’s no one else in the world except for you and him.
you’re looking into his eyes, reaching your hand up to lightly cup his cheek, letting your finger drag against his jaw, “can i?” you ask. you don’t even need to say it.
“yeah,” he breathes, shakily, “do whatever you want.”
you kiss him while his stomach does somersaults. his hands find your waist, letting you lead, and, funnily enough, only once he starts to relax, you’re pulling away.
“we should get out of here,” you say, and his heart rate picks up, which you seem to notice (his own heart betrayed him), “we don’t have to do anything, but it’s so loud and energetic in here. i want some peace and quiet.”
he couldn’t agree more. you both walk outside, and he shoots mingyu one last ‘i’m okay’ look, seeing the smirk on his friend’s face may annoy him, but he’s too happy to care.
once you reach your car, you pull him close. his hands rest on the same spot as before, gently on your waist. you ask him, “can i kiss you again?”
“yes,” he whispers back. something about asking the second time feels sweeter, “kiss me a little harder this time, please.”
you smile at his request, gently pressing your lips to his before you grasp the back of his neck to use as leverage when your kiss becomes more intense, giving him what he wants. he’ll always get what he wants now, you suppose. anything he asks for, you’ll give him.
you don’t pull away as fast this time, instead letting him savor the moment.
but you eventually do, pulling back to look at him. he’s so pretty in the moonlight.
“i don’t want this to end,” he says. you smile almost sadly at him.
“i’m sorry, baby, i wish it didn’t have to end so soon, but our agreement was only dinner,” you say, “and you need to go back. our night together has been fun, but this is it. we were only given tonight.”
“i don’t want to go back yet, i don’t want to leave you,” he whispers painfully. god, it was so easy to get comfortable in his arms.
you see that sadness in his eyes, the kind that kills any chance of ever getting over him, “i know, i know, i’m sorry. i didn’t think we would get so close so fast,” you can feel the shaking of his hands even as they rest steady on your hips, “when i asked for a date, i thought it would be a night that would end with no hard feelings about never seeing each other again.”
“well, look where that got us,” he makes himself chuckle, though it’s not out of actual humor.
there’s a pause where neither of you dare to make the next move. there’s a sinking feeling that one of these next kisses will be the last.
“i’ll tell you what: i’ll kiss you until my lips turn blue, so you can never forget what it feels like. not even if you tried,” you say, moving your hands to his shoulders to steady yourself.
“okay,” he responds, “don’t let me forget. don’t ever let me.”
“you know i won’t,” you say, and your kisses are so passionate that for a second, he forgets that he’s jeon wonwoo, seventeen’s best hacker and technology expert, and only knows that he’s yours.
and for you, he’s so sweet, so kind and giving and reciprocative, kissing you back with just as much energy, it’s just as easy to get lost in him.
you stay there for as long as the night will allow, kissing him with feverish intensity, before you really have to send him on his way.
his eyes have that tragic look to them, like he’s sad in such a complicated way. it was never supposed to end like this, with him walking away from you as you get into your car, but the more he thinks about it, he’s wrong.
it was supposed to end like this. with him and you separated.
when he returns, he knows he probably shouldn’t, that he should lie and say it went well (but not too well) and this will not cause future problems, but he tells seungcheol afterwards that he 100% fucked this up for himself. he’s really, really into you.
his boss isn’t surprised.
it’s been two months— not exactly, maybe a month and three weeks or so, but close enough— since that night. not a word from seventeen, nor from wonwoo. it’s hard to not wonder what happened between him and his boss as soon as he returned, if he saw those feelings written out all over his associate’s face, or if it was the lipstick stain on his lips that gave it away.
in your world, nothing had changed (except for maybe everything about your soul). nothing about your mob boss life had been altered. seventeen never spoke a word about the favor, not to you or anyone else. even though word travels fast and very easily, it never got back to you that anyone besides you and seventeen knew about it.
maybe it’s a good thing that you haven’t seen or heard from him, that you probably never will again, but him having that much control over you is dangerous because you’re sure that seungcheol knows. he knows wonwoo likes you, he knows you like wonwoo, and everything in between. he has so much power that it’s incomprehensible what he could manipulate you into doing. he probably knows that. he revels in it.
so you made the point to not reach out, knowing there’d be a trade off next time. you assume that’s why it’s radio silence on his end too.
it only hurts a little bit.
the news hits you as you’re sitting in your office, drinking your coffee as an associate is detailing all possible back up plans for the casino heist planned for next week.
“hold on one minute,” you say to them, and they immediately shut up, letting you take a call that had come in as they were talking, “yes, kihyun? why are you calling? i thought i told you not to call my personal phone.”
he seems anxious on the other end, which is not pleasant to hear, “i tried, boss, but you weren’t answering. and i know i wasn’t supposed to, but i assumed you would want to hear the news as soon as possible.”
“what news?”
“jeon wonwoo of seventeen went missing three days ago. not even his own associates know where he is or if he’s even alive,” he says, and his words, especially the last few, hit particularly hard.
he’s not dead, right? he can’t be dead.
“i… see. thank you, kihyun,” you say.
“i’m here if you need anything, boss,” he says, but you don’t respond, only hanging up the phone and closing your eyes.
you remember there’s still someone else in the room, so you shoo them out, “we’ll go over these plans tomorrow,” you say, as if to tell them to go away. they catch on.
and you’re suddenly all alone in your office, with nothing but the thought of wonwoo being dead to occupy your thoughts. seventeen had enemies, of course they did, but why wonwoo of all of them? why was he the target? it was just impossible to rationalize why someone would choose him to be the one to take out. what would even be the motive?
it doesn’t seem real, the idea that he could be dead, even though it’s technically possible.
the idea dawns on you that maybe it was someone in his own group, maybe even the whole fucking mafia collectively decided to take him out.
and maybe it was because of you. the idea makes your stomach sick.
it’s impossible to know for sure, and you can’t spend your day getting lost in maybe or possibly. you assume the worst, that he’s probably dead, and give yourself a moment to grieve.
and then it’s back to work.
it’s late, so late it’s almost early again, at your residence. the sound of rain is constant and almost soothing as you drink your tea, giving a sense of peace and calm to your night. looking over documents from the casino, everything seems to be in order. last minute preparations for tomorrow are going smoothly, and all that needs to happen now is sleep before the big day.
there’s a ring at your doorbell. so, there goes a peaceful couple hours of sleep.
no one should know that this place exists or that you live here. this place was secret for your own safety and the fact that someone is here, ringing your doorbell at three in the morning is a terrible sign.
you grab the gun you keep under your coffee table as you approach the door. there’s no way to check who it was without letting them know you were there, you just had to open it.
“i’m so sorry i’m here right now!” you hear, barely able to make out the baritone voice over the heavy rain, “i’m sorry i didn’t say anything after that night, i was ordered to not contact you on my own! i’m sorry i’m here, bothering you at your house, but it was the only place i could go!”
when you open the door, the rain covers his frames, concealing his eyes, but it’s him.
not a single thought of ‘how the fuck did you get my address?’ or ‘why did you disappear?’ is more important than him at that moment. you open the screen door and yank him inside, tossing the gun somewhere onto the floor of your kitchen. you rush to grab him a towel, because he’s shivering and freezing and that’s scaring both of you.
you’re borderline yelling at him as you scold him for showing up, especially at this hour, “what were you even thinking? you could have gotten hypothermia! you could exposed this place to people who want me dead! you could have gotten us both killed!”
and yet all he could do is look at you with those beautiful, lovestruck eyes, “i’m so sorry,” he says with a smile.
you hug him, wet clothes and teary eyes and all, crouching down on the floor to meet where he is, curled up in a ball, covering himself up with that towel. he looks so small like this.
“i’m sorry,” he whispers again.
“don’t be, i’m glad you’re alive,” you whisper back, tightening your grip on him as if he’d whither away and disappear if you didn’t.
“i missed you, every single day i thought about you,” he mumbles into your shoulder.
“i did too,” you say, “what happened? why did you disappear? when did this become the only place you could go?”
“i-um,” he starts, hesitant and quietly, “i got into a fight with seungcheol. i told him i didn’t want to live like this anymore, and he said he’d… cut off my head if i ever left.”
“but you still left?”
“i had to, i was so unhappy that it was killing me,” he says with more confidence, still holding onto you like you’re his lifeline, “and, god, i’m so into you that it hurt so bad to never talk to you again. how the hell was i supposed to move on?”
“so what happened after you left? where did you go?”
“mingyu told me i could crash on the couch at his place out of town while i tried to find you, but seungcheol beat that information out of him,” he pulls away just a bit to look at you while he speaks, still holding on for what feels like dear life, “i found this place about a week ago, but it wasn’t until i was literally running for my life that i felt there was nowhere else i could go.”
his stomach rumbles, so you ignore his words for the present and ask, “oh my god, when’s the last time you ate? no, don’t even answer me, i’m making you ramen.”
“it’s okay, you don’t have to-”
“don’t say another word, unless it’s to tell me you’re dying. you’re going to go take a nice, warm shower, and then eat some ramen before we even think about what to do about you going forward,” you cut him off, but your scolding tone is so filled with love and care that he doesn’t mind.
he showers, finally feeling the relief of warm water. he always hated being cold in any capacity, much less freezing to death.
he changes into the clothes you give him: an oversized crewneck and some sweatpants. when he walks back into the kitchen, where you are, he pulls the sleeves as far as they’ll go, giving himself cute little sweater paws.
he’s so adorable, so easy to fall for.
you place a bowl of ramen in front of a seat at the kitchen counter, “eat up, baby.”
baby. he could get used to being called something like that. easy. he sits at the counter, eating like a madman once he realizes how hungry he truly is.
you watch him tenderly, all the adrenaline having faded out and now he’s just here. what are you even gonna do with him? you can’t just kick him out, he’ll get found immediately. so long as no one else finds out about this place, you’re both safe.
he can’t return to seventeen, though. maybe that thought has sunken in for him too, because when he looks up at you and smiles when he sees you looking at him, he’s not smiling like how he did last time you saw him. his smile is smaller and more forced.
all his friends he left behind, all his past he left behind, and that comfortable life he left behind, all to be here, with you.
“what now?” you ask, and the depth of the question is not absent in his mind. he knows what you mean.
he frowns, playing with his chopsticks, “i… i don’t know. i can’t go back, but i’m unsure how to move forward.”
“do you want to give up this life completely? just start fresh?”
“i don’t think so. it’s all i know, all i feel competent at, and if i’m being honest, i don’t mind it. i just need something more,” he says with a chuckle, “i don’t think i could live a life of white picket fences and nuclear families.”
“then,” you say, sitting at the spot next to him at the counter, “consider joining me. i can’t give you a top position, but you can continue your work as a hacker under my group. as much as i want to give you choice, i'm gonna be honest with you: that’s your only good option.”
“i know,” he says.
it hurts a little bit, and he knows what you’re gonna say before you say it, “and i'm sorry i have to say it out loud, but… this will provide you protection against seventeen.”
which is the most miserable thing to think about: his own friends coming to kill him. he’s a traitor now, though. he knows he’s dead to seungcheol. it hurts him somewhere deep in his chest every time he thinks about it.
“okay,” he says, somewhat dully, “i guess i don’t have much of a choice.”
“it’s not that you don’t have a choice in the matter, but you only have one good one,” you say, matter-of-factly, “you won’t be safe anywhere else-”
“i’m sorry,” he says suddenly, and it’s heartbreaking how he just can’t stop saying it, “i’m just so sorry. i put you and mingyu in danger just so i could have a chance to escape. he even let me stay on his couch and then got hurt because of my selfishness.”
“it’s not fair to you to judge yourself so harshly like that. mingyu did that because he wanted to, for you. you couldn’t stop whatever hell came after,” you say, comfortingly, “it’s better to be selfish than unhappy. if mingyu knew you were safe with me, he’d see his efforts as worthwhile.”
“and what about you?” he asks.
“what about me?”
“i put you in danger,” he says.
“wonwoo, i’m a mob boss. and a woman one at that. i’m always in danger,” you say, “it’s nothing new.”
“but-”
“stop talking,” you order, and he complies. you sigh, “it’s not worth it to think about all the things you did wrong. where you are now is where you are; there’s no changing that.”
“i’m sorry,” he laughs breathlessly, “can you just kiss me if you need to shut me up?”
you look into his eyes once again, seeing nothing but beauty and honesty in them. your hand reaches to tilt his chin up as you lean in for a kiss, and all the passion of that night comes back in full force, except with so much more vulnerability and tenderness.
but he pulls away this time.
why is he about to cry?
he answers the question for you, “i’m sorry, i uhm- i’m sorry,” he whispers, his apologies stabbing you incessantly, “nothings wrong. i’m just… so happy. i’m so happy we ended up like this. nothing compares to you.”
i’m so happy we got the happy ending (somewhat).
tomorrow (well, more like later today. in a few hours) he’ll be jeon wonwoo, the best hacker in the area, known for being able to hack into power grids and major international banks. maybe he’ll be there with you, keeping track of the operation, taking down security cameras or disrupting communications.
but for tonight, he’s simply wonwoo. he holds you like he doesn’t want anything else from this life.
nothing compares to this.
961 notes · View notes
enposter · 1 year
Text
++ ENHYPEN's HYUNG LINE HAVING A CRUSH ON ANOTHER IDOL °.+*
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pairing: idol!enhypen hyung line x idol!reader
warnings: none as i know of. maybe mention of getting stuck in an elevator, food mention
a/n: i didnt rlly know what to name this reaction this was the best i came up w 🥸 also im sorry hee and jays r much shorter i will make them longer next time
reblogs and feedback are greatly appreciated <3
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navigation.
lee heeseung — 이희승
i have a huge Huge feeling dude would Not know what to do 😭
esp if ur under hybe as well??? He would always see u in the hallways and would be so starstruck by ur beauty every single time so would you
poor baby would be too shy to start up a conversation with you and would end up longing from afar :(
BUT!!! you guys got stuck in an elevator together. while its not the most ideal situation to be in.
He!! Lee Heeseung!! had the chance to talk to you!!!!!
he was So gonna rub this in ni-ki's face bc little shit said he was never gonna balls up and start a convo 😒
and start a conversation he did
you guys ending up hitting it off and exchanged numbers <3
talking whenever and eating lunch together when you both can <3
imagine learning each others dances together :(( AFFGH
SINGING EACH OTHERS SONGS AAHHHH
the hybe family games together agshdjsjcj
after the hybe family games u guys are one of the cutest friendships in kpop and everyone loves you so much
sunghoon owes jake 10 bucks now since hee talked to you
park jongseong — 박종성
jay really just Screams friends to lovers to me it makes so much sense
you guys have been friends ever since you met at inkigayooo.
sunoo actually gave you a sandwich cause he was a huge fan of ur group wanting to be friends pleek TT
ANYWAYS,,, ur group and enha became close, seeing as you debuted around the same time and were all around the same age.
jay fell for you so easily, your humor and personality were charming, inviting. everything about you was perfect to him.
honestly you never really knew jay liked you because you thought he treated you like everybody else???
THAT IS !!!! until you heard the jakehoon talking abt it
you went complete 🚨🚨🚨 /pos maybe like 🚨😮🥰🚨
YOU NEEDED TO KNOW IF THIS WAS SERIOUS??? obviously who wouldnt need to know if jay liked them???
you never thought of him in that way. but it just felt so right when you did
you didnt wanna push so you just sat not so calmy with this newfound information until you couldnt hold it in anymore.
safe to say, you two are partners and so are happy <3
sim jaeyun — 심재윤
jakey jakey jakey jakeyyy
your group had debuted before enha and niki was a huge fan because WOW?? UR DANCING SKILLS?? out of this WORLD
niki soon introduced ur group to sunoo, sunoo introduced it to jake and jake introduced it so Everybody.
he was just so captivated by you. ur vibe everything about you was just so interesting to him.
he spent the first whole night he learnt abt ur group binging video and compilations of you.
jakey was a hardcore fanboy now
everything was fine and he was fanboying alone until you both were promoting at the same time
poor puppy was a Mess.
remember how he was looking at the wall instead of wony? yeah thats him but 2007382 worse because his ears are so red from looking at you One time.
but somehow !! someway !! he mustered up the courage to talk to you
cue kissin u by miranda cosgrove sparks fly its like electricity i might die when i forget how to breathe you get closer and theres nowhere in this world id rather be
you thought he was so cute because he was so sweet and shy talking to you. and you!! YOU!!! gave him!! your number🥰
jakey would send you dog videos any chance and if ur a cat person he'd send cute cat videos too but mostly dogs aka layla
itd be kinda hard to hangout since ur in different companies but you guys facetimed any chance you could get
AGGH i love sim jake so much i might cry
and
"baby did you know that i was a huge fan of you and ur group! :D thats why i came and talked to you"
"i know jakey" "HOW????" "riki told me"
absolute betrayal noises he'd be so dramatic goodness
park sunghoon — 박성훈
i feel like he first saw you at music bank since he was an mc
your group was promoting ur new cute concept mini album and goodness
you were just. So. Cute.
absolutely melted but kept quite composed yk how it is professional things
hoon would talk abt u all the time but would Not make a move toward actually talking to you. smh
our wonyoung and enha were actually the ones who pushed him to Say Something
so one day on ur groups last day of promoting wony gave sunghoon a stern look and Bro Booked it trying to find you
he was looking around, out of breath from running and didnt even notice that he bumped into and knocked you over
was so extremely flustered
he did help you up tho like the gentleman he is <3
apologized profusely would not stop until he literally made you push him over also 😭
you just tapped him cause ??? why would you push him over pls
you guys did not exchange numbers cause hoon was too flustered to do anything and bowed and walked into a wall away
you guys will be pushed together again one day i promise you
You just have to ask for his number next time <:]
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enposter @ tumblr | 2022
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bitchin-beskar · 1 year
Note
So do you have any headcamons for coming to the clan nd joining either pregnant or with a child and Paz immediately getting super protective over you?
whew
do i have headcanons
u bet ur ass i do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i have hcs for both and im in a good mood bc it's sinday so u get both!
coming to the clan and joining while pregnant
so i'm thinking if you're coming to the clan to join while pregnant, the one who got you pregnant is not in the picture
ofc, this could be for a few reasons, im leaning towards your partner being dead, but they could've run off and abandoned you too
but whatever way it happens, you're alone and pregnant, with little to no way to defend yourself
your village is attacked by pirates, and the nearby mandalorian covert comes over to help
the pirates had made it obvious they were looking for people to sell to slavers, and a pregnant woman sells pretty damn well, unfortunately
one of the surviving village members decides that this means it's your fault, so you're exiled
the mandalorians who'd stuck around to help are not happy to hear this, especially the large one in blue armor with heavy artillery
he immediately declares that you'll come with them, and will be welcome in their clan for as long as you require
stunned by the generosity, and with nowhere else to go, you accept
they're very kind, for all that you've heard about mandalorians as barbaric warriors, and their medic makes sure to give you a full checkup, and even gives you your very first ultrasound
your assimilation into the clan goes smoothly, but you can't help but notice your very big, very unsubtle blue shadow that follows you around and gets you anything and everything you need
it's weeks before you even learn his name, and even that's an accident, when the clan bounty hunter comes back and remarks that Paz seems very attached to you
you blink in confusion, especially when the bounty hunter-beroya, you remember from the mando'a lessons, literally facepalms to the amusement of his tiny gremlin kid
the beroya marches over to your shadow, Paz you know now, and they have a quick and heated discussion in mando'a far too fast for you to understand
but it was clearly about you, because afterwards, Paz becomes more than your shadow
he converses with you, eats with you, keeps you company, and even-at your request-attends your prenatal checkups with you
it's nice to have a friend, but you very quickly realize that what you're beginning to feel for your mandalorian shadow isn't friendship
especially not when you're in your bed late at night, horny as hell, and unable to really do anything about it with your stomach in the way
or when he sits close to you, his hand on your lower back for support, his low voice soothing and enticing in equal measures
or when you see him spar with other members of his clan, shirtless and sweaty, a huge mass of muscle, strong and vicious in ways that make you want
one night you're in your bed, nearly crying with frustration because you're so damn horny but you can't do a fucking thing about it
you're trying so hard to resist but you just can't anymore
so you fit one of your pillows between your legs, rocking back and forth to try and relieve the empty feeling inside you and to quell the fires burning in your belly
and in a moment of weakness, you call out Paz's name, lost in your fantasies
lo and behold, guess who happens to be walking by?? the man himself
he's worried you're hurt, so he comes inside, only to realize that you're definitely not injured
in literally any other instance you'd be embarrassed
but you've been sexually frustrated for months and the man of your literal dreams is standing in front of you
you snap that he can either come and help you or he can leave, but if he doesn't do something you might actually scream
he snaps out of his shock and decides there are worse things than getting to worship your body like he's been dreaming about
in the aftermath of your... ahem, activities, laying in bed with Paz, he whispers a confession that he wants more than just the occasional fuck
you're looking at him, hoping and praying he's saying what you think he's saying
he tells you that he thinks he might be in love with you, and if you'll permit him, he'll marry you and bring you into his clan, and if you wish it, he'll say the gai bal manda to your child, but even if you don't, he'll still love them and ensure they're raised to want for nothing
you kiss him, because you don't have the words to explain just how much you want that too, and you'll take anything and everything he offers you
coming to the clan and joining with a child
so, in this hc, i'm vibing with the idea that your ex was abusive in some manner, and so fearing for your lives, you flee him with your child
except the problem is he's rich, and he hates the idea that you escaped him, because in his mind you belong to him, so he hires Din to "retrieve his property"
Din takes the job, and upon realizing that "property" means you and your kid, he immediately abandons the job (bc he's got a kid of his own now and like hell is he gonna make the same mistake twice) and brings you to the covert
they're all equally furious as Din, to your surprise
Paz (who i've just decided is the Mand'alor in this hc) takes Din aside and tells him to go "take care" of your ex quietly
and then he immediately assigns himself as your protector
now, coming from an abusive relationship, you're v skittish around men, and even though your ex wasn't particularly large or physically intimidating, he still hurt you so the back of your mind is saying that Paz has the potential to be far more dangerous even if you haven't seen any examples of that
so you're very much shy around him and often v scared and skittish
it makes Paz so sad to see but he understands, and keeps his distance while also making sure to do whatever he can to make you feel safe
now your kid on the other hand
they're old enough, i'm thinking 8-10?
they're used to being afraid of dear old dad and also feeling hopeless about not being able to protect their momma
so being brought into a covert of warriors who have zero issues training children from a young age to fight??
they're ecstatic!
because not only can they protect themselves, they can get strong enough to protect you too
and they see Paz as the head of the covert and the heavy artillery master, and they imprint like a baby duckling
they follow him around and try to mimic him in everything he does
the entire covert thinks it's adorable
Paz is worried at first that you'll be upset since you're so skittish around him
but you decide to see how it plays out, and honestly it's kind of a test, because you've often found the easiest way to see the measure of a person is how they treat kids
and Paz absolutely loves your little one
he's so good and patient with them, he takes their training seriously and often personally trains with them
your kiddo loves them too, and Paz helps them acclimate so damn well
which is why when you find your kiddo sobbing in your rooms one afternoon apologizing for being the reason that you'll have to leave the covert you're very concerned
after much prying you find out your baby accidentally called Paz the word for 'dad' in your language, and now thinks Paz is going to kick the two of you out
you don't know how to fix this, but you know you have to try, because Paz is the first good and positive male figure they've been able to latch on to in their life and you don't want them to lose this, and also you really don't want to leave either
so you go to find Paz, and you find him on his throne, clearly very lost in thought
he's shocked to see you seeking him out, but he begins to apologize, because while he didn't understand the word your kid said, he was worried he'd done something to hurt them, and you'd put your trust in him that he wouldn't so he's afraid you've come to yell at him
you cross your arms and very sternly inform him that your child has come to see Paz in a father figure role, and you need to know how he feels about this, because if he's going to reject your baby, you need to know so you can attempt to mitigate the heartbreak
Paz stares at you for a moment and asks what you'd do if he said he'd be honored if your kid thought of him as a father and that he would ask your permission to adopt your kid as well to help your baby understand that Paz isn't going anywhere and that he's wanted
you're moved, practically to tears, all the fight draining out of you
you never could've imagined your baby getting this, and all you wanna do is say yes, so you begin to nod and agree, so overwhelmed
which is when Paz stands from his throne and makes his way towards you, where he tells you that as much as he loves your kid, he'd also be interested in starting something with you, that he admires you so much, and you've raised your kid so well, and he would like nothing more than to begin courting you
you're struck dumb, but you're also flattered, and you can't deny that seeing how Paz acts with your child gives you hope for how he might treat you as a partner
so, you agree to a tentative courtship, which quickly blossoms into more
...
i might have gotten carried away, but I hope you enjoy these!! maybe I'll turn them into stories down the road!
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bluebellhairpin · 2 months
Note
i need to talk about this rn i'm sorry but i've been having baby fever and been thinking so much about erwin as a dad 😞🩷 (cw pregnancy)
firstly, he suspects you're pregnancy before you do. he's so observant and knows you so well, so when you start to look tired, or have cravings/aversions to certain foods you didn't before, he takes note. what seals it for him is when he notices your pet (let's say a dog) clinging to you. of course they like you, but now it seems they don't want you out of their sight, might even growl whenever he tries to touch you in their presence. and of course, he notices if you haven't yet had your period (he doesn't even need an app he just remembers your usual time of month) but of course he is considerate that you may want to surprise him, and he is gracious enough to be surprised and over the moon with you when you tell him because of course the confirmation is better than the suspicion. he does admit to knowing already later on, but how can you be mad that he pays attention so well??
and when you get rounder, you learn quickly the baby has a preference for his voice. if the baby is hiding from you in the belly or keeps kicking when you want to rest, they only listen to his voice, he'll say something like "Be kind to your mother," and the child will literally stop and you're just like " •_•"
also he will absolutely hire someone to help with cleaning and cooking while you recover postpartum, make sure you don't have to lift a finger for anything besides the baby and your own wellness. even after the first couple weeks and the person he hired is gone, he'll still do most of the cleaning and cooking while you recover because he understands that while you focus on cariny for the baby, he has to focus on caring for you. he will also want to be involved with learning about how to best care for the baby as much as possible (he becomes a master at burping 😌)
and the first time you guys drop the child off at daycare, he's pretty straightfaced and serious to anyone looking at him, gives a quick hug and a kiss to his little one but mainly focuses on making sure everything is accounted for in their bag and lunchkit. the staff might think he's too cold and aloof to be so unemotional about his child's first day at daycare, but what they don't know is that the second he gets in the car and out of the kiddo's sight he puts his hand over his face and starts weeping softly, holding your hand so tightly with the other because his baby is getting so big so fast and he's proud but also sad after hearing them cry as soon as you both walked out.
he just becomes the most wonderful father and husband and loves his family with everything he has ☺️🩷
ik I told u like two days ago I was letting this cook and I'd answers that night but OOF i forgot. however i've enjoyed being reminded each time I went into my ask box! I read though it each time! loved it so much! anyway i'm gonna pop som thoughts below so this doesn't get too long for the poor people who don't wanna be Erwin's baby mama's lol <3
cw pregnancy for below
I very much headcanon Erwin as an observant man, so I 100% agree with the notion that he notices you're pregnant before you do. the food tastes changing, the sickness (the dog! (in my little world there's a dog! (his name is Atticus))) - the notes it all away but the little shit says nothing. he might partially be being considerate and letting you tell him, but i also think he isn't above waiting how long it take you to figure it out after he does. it's like a little bet he has with himself lol
AND THE BABY LIKING HIS VOICE ofc my child would only listen to Erwin smh. that's kinda so funny to me though, I love that idea. maybe Erwin spoke quietly for a while and the baby was real still, you kind of panicked a little, but as soon as Erwin went "oh my god, What?!" the babe went wild as if to say "oh, daddy is here! yay! he didn't leave us alone!" bc yk. the baby is a little shit too just like it's dad.
He also totally doesn't like the idea of you lifting a finger. he says your body is busy making a whole human being, don't you dare make him dinner too, making it himself is the least he can do. I also firmly believe afterwards he's a very hands on dad. yeah perhaps he'll keep some hired help around for the days where e's not there, but when he is there? you're surprised he isn't run off his feet. the man has so much energy for being so chill and stoic. he'd be out here being dad, mum, housekeeper, cook, taxi AND CEO, and still cuddle up to you at the end of the day and wanna attempt to ENTHUSIASTICALY put ANOTHER baby in you.
thEN the picture of him breaking after dropping your kid off for their first day! my heart! he is such a softie. big fucking teddy bear. full of marshmallows and clouds. he can look cold and aloof all he likes but we know the truth. we've seen him cry while watching both The Good Dinosaur and Bluey. he can't hide from us.
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fanatical4creation · 2 months
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INVERTED! Insanity and Killer
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Hey i'll tell ya a secret, i give duo names to my characters, this is the Insaneduo (this is what qsmp has done to me). Anyway, now "FANATICAL WHY ARE THEY-" shhh sh sh i'll explain, that's what this post is for. Btw this drawing is OLD but yet useful, the only change i'd do is Insanity's eye, it's in the wrong side.
Let's start with Killer or Kiki (do you love me?) for the most intimate, he's from an alternative timeline called Something changed, based on the comic/au Something New originally created by @/rahafwabas. Something Changed is an AU where the human get bored from Sans' face and change the sprites Underswap's, i mean he surely wanted something new eh? (ba dum tss)
That's all. Pfft-there's nothing new that's why the name is Something Changed, would it be to fit the swap theme or the story itself
Now let's talk about Insanity shall we? He's originally created by Zero danteero, he's... uuuuh he's something new.... ok i'll stop- anyway he still have his classic story it's just his visuals that changed, i guess... BUT here's the thing y'know Nifty from Hazbin? That's him, but he rarely talks, he's more like an animal but still an insane maniac, he walks all curved and everything he's a insane beast.
Btw i'll probably re-do Insanity, bc he's too complicated to draw and i want to animate him, so expect a new design on him.
Story:
Nightmare found both of them in their own universes there's not much to talk about Insanity's bc it's like-... It's like how a kennel takes in a dog, lmao 😭. But both Kiki and Sane causes a lot of trouble when they first came in to Nightmares place... th-the omega timeline.
Nightmare wanted to make a prision in the OmegaTimeline to contain them "oh but Fanatical that's so dumb" everyone knows, he tried to convince everyone it wasn't and he failed bc "the evil only prevails if the good fails" as he says, but it's mainly bc "against facts there are no arguments." as i say.
The Insaneduo come together in every mission, it's the assassin and the damage dealer (🤓), they're almost perfect but they need another one to complete the trio, who would it be?...
"FANATICAL WHY ARE THEY USING ELETRONIC ANKLES???" Well, remember the prision i mentioned Nightmare wanted to do? Yup. Nightmare did it anyways but hidden from everybody else, i still don't know if Core is omniscient or not so i'm working on it.
The ankles are to make sure they don't scape or get close to the the OmegaTimeline city thing or the doors, since the prision is way way way far away from the city bc-.. y'know, it's an empty void, and it's underground, y'know i've seen an livestream from FmsDraws that he says if you dig to the ground of the void of the OT it'll be all black and with inverted gravity, so i'm still working on how it looks, but i got some concepts...
That's all u need to know for now, maybe everything changes bc i'm still learning about OmegaTimeline, so be patient for fucks sake.
Killer sans (c) @/rahafwabas
Insanity sans (c) Zero danteero (idk which social media he/she/they are)
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simpracha · 1 year
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all i can think about is channie. in my mind hes 100% a sub (cant be in charge all the time in every way i mean cmon hes gotta relax some time) and hed be the BESTEST SUB. just a sweet lil channie in a collar with a leash while hes on his knees looking up with those pretty eyes 🥺
god imagine him being bad tho. having to punish him. hes not supposed to touch himself without permission and he knows that. but youre taking so long to get home. and he wants it so badly. just once couldnt hurt right? coming home to him on the bed humping a pillow and whining because its not enough. teasing him for being so needy, impatient. either giving him what he wants until hes a drooling overstimulated mess whining about how its too much but crying out if you back off. or. edging him for hours until his dick is an angry red and his face the same, fucked dumb with the only words he can remember are your name and please. hed look so pretty crying. <3
srry going feral i wanna rip him apart
chan would totally be the perfect little whiny sub. he'd hump pillows sure but it has to be your pillow. getting himself off while having his face full of your shirt or something so close to you that he can feel sane. because you've trained him well and he knows he needs you to cum first and foremost.
punishing him would be hard bc he'd be to sure to always follow your rules but when he does break them? oh you're pissed because you know he did it deliberately. he desperately wanted a rise out of you in order to break a rule. he loves being edged or overstimulated but this is pure cruelty. you probably take it a step further with edging him. not only are you getting yourself off in front of him, telling him how he cant touch, only good boys can touch and chan was not a good boy. a vibrating cock ring holding his erection in place but only making all the nerve endings go crazy. making him whine and rut only for u to hold him down. maybe going further with restraints and forcing him to watch.
good boys have to learn their lesson after all. it's good breeding.
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dreamofbecoming · 2 years
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(edit: now an actual fic! part 1 part 2 ao3)
hhhhhh ok but now i’m thinking about banshee!jaskier, which means i’m actually thinking about half-siren/half-banshee!jaskier like that one fic (that i lost and totally forgot the name of- does anyone know which one i’m talking about? he had 2 moms but he was raised by his siren mom even though her family shunned her for mating with a banshee, and the reveal scene was geralt/yen/ciri getting captured by cahir’s army and jask going full Creature and just fucking slaughtering all of them, and rescuing them covered in scales and drenched in blood and that was how geralt learned he wasn’t human? anyway it was so fucking good someone pls tell me if u remember the name 😭**)
(**edit tysm anon fic is here)
but ANYWAY i’m thinking about half-siren/half-banshee!jaskier whose powers are a mix of both, so his Song foretells death instead of luring people to it, and i’m only thinking in Vibes right now but something about the lyric “this here is not singing, i’m just screaming in tune” has hooked in my brain and won’t let go
jask with a complicated relationship to music bc he loves stories and he wants to tell them but he keeps feeling that tug at the back of his throat to change the tune when he’s singing to an audience and makes eye contact with someone Doomed, jask who hates the taste of death and tries to go without singing but denying both sides of his instincts like that hurts and denying his passion hurts differently and there’s just no way for him to not be in pain, so he chooses to sing knowing what it will bring
jask who follows geralt around because at least in a witcher’s wake he won’t be suspected as the bringer of death as much, until he realizes that geralt hates it just as much as he does and that’s when he starts to fall in love, because finally he found someone who understands that feeling, that “something awful is going to happen to you and you want me to save you but i can’t always” feeling
OH jask who learns to hone his powers to lure people away from their deaths! because he knows when they’re coming and he can sing people where he wants them to go and he starts saving lives OH OH jaskier who uses that instinct as the Sandpiper! who starts stepping in when he can feel a Song in the back of his throat for an elf, who puts himself between them and death and sings them away to safety!! anskskjdjsks jask who first discovered he could do that when he tasted geralt’s Song and almost went fully feral from how much he needed that Not To Happen
ough welcome to another fic i’ll probably never write why is my brain Like This
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a-very-fond-farewell · 2 months
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Shipper Tag Game
the ever so wonderful @wangmiao tagged me in a game! yay :D I spend my days studying as of lately an I needed a little distraction eheh
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1. what ship were you completely obsessed with when you were a teenager, but now you don’t care anymore?
aah man, it’s probably ed & winry from FMA if I’m being honest. now I know why, bc my baby gay younger self saw the potential for ftm!Ed and mtf!Winry since day 1 but I didn’t have the words to understand it as such back then. it’s not that I don’t care anymore but that fandom served its purpose and I am thankful for it. learned about my own stance on gender euphoria thanks to it actually even if the story has nothing to do with it in retrospect.
2. which ship would you consider your first one?
ik that, as a wee child, I was obsessed with Haruka from Sailor Moon flirting with Usagi, but I wouldn’t consider that as a proper “ship”. I learned shipping was a thing at, like, 19. but if I look back at my childhood... probably either Syaoran & Sakura (bi nation where u at??) or Touya/Yukito from Card Captor. I clocked the Tomoyo/Sakura waaaay later tho, which is a pity.
3. your first fanfic belonged to which couple?
first fanfic I read was a D. Gray Man one, so it was probably a Kanda/Allen situation yeah. I think I was 20. oh god.
4. do you remember the first couple you saw a fanart over?
hard to say. I think I had just discovered tumblr, so it means I was either 22 or 23... so I was either in the Pandora Hearts fandom or in the Tokyo Ghoul fandom. and I only followed people from those two so... I think it was an Arima/Haise one? hard to say fr.
5. did you ever get into ship discourse?
I tend to stay away from that. I just mute or block people and go back to play with my fictional people. me is petty at times, yes.
6. did you use to have any no-otp or have it currently?
I do have ships I don’t particularly like, but I find it silly to talk about them. I let people enjoy themselves.
7. who were the couples in the last fanfic you read?
Gaon/Yohan from The Devil Judge bc there’s only one fic in the whole fandom I follow and I generally don’t read fanfics that much. (I may or may not have read a fanfic from Evilive in the past month or so, but if I did I was feverish and recall very little of it).
8. currently do you have any OTPs?
man where do I start?
Shang Xirui/Cheng Fengtai from Winter Begonia
Zhou Zishu/Wen Kexing from Word of Honor
Gu Yun/Changgeng from Sha Po Lang
Seo Doyoung/Han Dongsoo from Evilive (current one)
Kim Gaon/Kang Yohan from The Devil Judge
Lee Dongsik/Han Joowon from Beyond Evil
Koo Ryeon/Park Joonggil from Tomorrow
(one sapphic ship I shall not name - for the discourse is rampant about them- but it involves ladies and dragons)
Eve Polastri/Villanelle from Killing Eve (I am waiting for the italian dub to drop season 3 and 4 in dvd, I am too attached to it to budge)
(if that news about Kim Goeun and Jeon Doyeon starring in the same thriller drama is true I will make it my entire personality so be prepared for it)
9. is there any couple that, to this day, you are extremely mad about not getting together?
is there?.... man I have no clue. they are all true in my heart. I can be anal about it and say that I call bullshit on the main girl in True Beauty kdrama not ending up with the second-male lead if I really have to be mad about something but... meh? that’s probably it? the characters were too young for me to empathize with them but I guess that’s still something I think about from time to time?? I feel so silly saying this ahah
10. is there any ship you used to dislike but now you think they are kind of interesting?
honestly, ever since kun opened my eyes about soggy older men being bullied by grumpy older men I have changed as a person. I never disliked it per se but now everything has changed. I see the vision now. I see it. thank u kun :)
11. do you have any ship that, in the past, was considered normal but now you would be cancelled over?
listen. I ship changgu. it’s Gu Yun’s fault to be such a cougar, what was a growing kid like Changgeng supposed to do? not fantasize about his godfather? who, I might add, is only, like, 8 or 9 years older than him and didn’t even want to take that role to begin with and they got together when both were above their mid-twenties anyway? try again tag game. these new fandom babies are eating my face like smooth lions as we speak. (I am joking...)
12. what was your favorite crack ship?
before I left the m/dzs fandom... I guess Wen Q/ing & Lan W/angji as a “beard for beard” situation. they are gay and they are not vibing on prom night, having to dance with each other instead of looking for people they actually like. maybe it’s best that I left the fandom ahah
13. who is the couple you read most fanfics of?
I don’t really... read... fanfics... anymore. usually I’m either in a big ship or a niche show/book with no in between. in the second case... it’s bad bc I feel the urge to WRITE for the fandom and ship in question, which means that I don’t want to read fics about it unless I have finished my own fic for it (bc I don’t want to accidentally steal other people’s ideas. my subconscious is an octopus I swear, it latches onto anything that moves in my brain. I cannot do that to someone else’s creation!); in the first case it works only if I’m not active in the fandom:
take Word of Honor: I write for it and for the main ship too, so I don’t read fics about it
take Evilive or Winter Begonia: we have so few fics in there I MUST WRITE for the main ship, so I don’t read fics about it (sometimes I do cave in tho, yes I am human)
take The Devil Judge or Tomorrow: I’m not active on either of those, so I can enjoy reading fics (only two, one for each fandom)
my life is a struggle ik. the most fics I have read for a ship is probably that sapphic ship I shall not name (evil women come at me!!) and bagginshield from The Hobbit (we are talking 10 years ago tho)
14. what most of your ships usually have in common?
across all genders and all gender combos, I have generally 3 vibes going on:
twice divorced, never married
long suffering banter, but fond
not related, not chosen family, but a secret third thing
(additional flavor: either the younger one is the bossy one or they are the same age and they are making it everyone’s problem at that)
15. what you absolutely hate in a ship?
I would say conformity. if I don’t catch any queer vibes from the main source then what’s the point? even in a het ship I must latch onto some gender magic of some kind. some pegging for everyone would be nice too. or no sex at all, for a change, why not?
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thank u once more kun for tagging me! imma tag anyone insterested in doing this and @amethystina and @danhoemei is they feel like doing it or if they just want to have a look at my replies, no pressure!!
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bigcapitalist · 7 months
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tim 234 liveblog
the second i saw the title i was like fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck. you know what episode also had a boy?? BEDTIME STORY. i need to take some calm breaths
nightvale live slideshow with jessica hayworth art sounds like THE SHIT. i wonder how well it will translate to the recording though :( like people complained about the haunting bc they couldn't see the dancing since it was an audio recording. i hope they learn from that and share the slides along with the audio for everyone who can't make it to the live show.
also would be nice if dylan marron was one of the guests this time… miss him !! he's so fun in the liveshows !!
ok episode now
obligatory "cecil is so cute": cecil is soooo cute
CARLOS
CARLOS
CARLOS
CARLOS
CECIL SOUNDS LOWKEY PISSED
esteban <33333333333333333 <333333333 <333333333333333 happy happy happy love him
EHEHEHEHEHEEHEHE CECIL SOUNDS SO MAD
writers forgetting that carlos' hair is already going gray and cecil thinks that's hot :( love loses
"he was busy being every possible thing except himself" BEDTIME STORY
cecil interacting with kids is always so cute <33
"I don't remember a moment before this moment. As far as I know this is the first conversation I've ever had. It seems to be going well. Is it going well?” ooooo there's a case study like that. take a look if ur interested
SEE and he retains the memories of what a horse is and how to gallop. he's maintained his semantic and procedural memory !! :DDDDD now we need another boy with episodic memory but no procedural memory and we'll have a double dissociation <333 life is beautiful love is love
SOUP MENTION SOUP MENTION SOUP MENTION SOUP MENTION. i miss harrow :(
every time he says traffic i remember janet describing traffic as "flash fiction about sad family dynamics". today's sad family dynamic: colour theory
cecil is very very cute. he's an artiste <33
adopting another child is Not going to save your marriage babygirl. that being said i think u should give it a shot anyway
"I was born into the sunlight, already running” breathtaking
i love this kid. very cute. mildly creepy
"i don't know how much water you're supposed to give a boy" YOU HAVE A WHOLEASS SON
"Incredible," whispered Carlos, and he texted some of his new science friends. <- fucking millenials. gamer tiktoker chronically online carlos is one of my favourite things about him
"what a curious boy" BEDTIME. STORY.
cecil is so cute
cecil is sooooooooo cute
cecil is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo cute
CECIL GETS TO DO VOICES <33333 I LOVE WHEN HE DOES VOICES
OH MY GOD
OH MY GOD
OH MY GOD
OHH MY GOD
what the fuck was that. he's the worst i love him more than anything
oh my god no stop i'm already dead
GIRL
GIRL
carlos :3 this reminds me of the headcanon that the person who showed cecil the mountain back in year 1 was carlos taking him on a little fieldtrip. i just think they're neat <3333
i love cecil so much he's so awful. ooooo i hate him *kicking my feet twirling my hair*
PLEASE WRITE A PLAY BABYGIRL YOU'RE EVERYTHING TO ME
so much carlos in this episode i loooove him
"you are both thinking of the boy as an event rather than a person" based tamika flynn
“Ok,” I said, “no bad ideas.” I said this in a way that made it sound like her idea was bad, but this was undercut by Carlos enthusiastically agreeing with it. <- i hate them so much (said with great affection)
petty passive aggressive cecil is the best cecil
oh he sounds so pissed
weather is good this week <333 i love this episode so far it's feeding me so well
when they said therapist i thought they meant dana but no :( i miss dana
“Well,” the boy said, “there is this,” the boy said. “I remember a darkness darker than dark. I remember a warmth that did not comfort. I remember joy that wrenched the soul. I remember three words: To do harm. I remember a sky so full of stars that it looked like a blank sheet of paper. I remember the true name of god. I remember the value of pi to 80 digits. I remember the grit of sand in my mouth. I remember a darkness darker than dark. I remember a melody that I do not care to sing. I remember a prayer although I do not know to what. I remember sadness that warmed the heart. I remember a darkness darker than dark. And I remember my mother. But other than that,” the boy said, “I remember nothing.”
^ uhhh
uhhhhhhhhhhh
kinda sounds like you remember a lot of things dude
"I remember a prayer although I do not know to what" 🐛🐛🐛😁
i'm so glad he's going home with tamika rather than cecilos. they need to get through their own shit before they start working on someone else's. also i always want more tamika <33 so this is great
TL;DR: cecil palmer cutiepie jellybean <333
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platypusplayhere · 1 year
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Thank you @dangerliesbeforeyou for tagging me, im mentioning all kinds of media bc I love to rant, I have a lot of love in my heart and I have trouble choosing just 8: (im making this on mobile hope it's readable).
Howl's moving castle (2004)
My first experience of gender envy, gender fascination, gender emulation for Howl, at a time I didn't even know that gender was a thing because I was like idek 7 years old.
Kiss of the rabbit god (2019)
A short movie, stumbled onto it bc of Tumblr. You honour, I simply love it.
Shrek (2001)
I'm not being ironic I'm very serious about this one. My mom used to braid my hair weekly when I was little and I constantly played this one, I know it by heart and I'm not joking. I freaking love this movie. Same goes for Mulan, Beauty and the beast, Charlie and the chocolate factory, and the whole Shrek franchise up to the 3rd one. (Gotta watch Puss in boots 1 and 2 tho.)
V for vendetta (2005)
This is a shout-out to 14 years old me who might have at some point based their personality around this movie or maybe they didn't, who's to say. I'm not sorry. Kinda still like it tho.
Corpse bride (2005)
There is an independent cinema in my hometown and they did run it often over the years. Bestie I don't know how many times I went to see this movie with my mother as a child. Recently learned about the Jewish origins of this myth and im a lil upset about the stolen storyline without the context. But some will say it's a Burton movie and they're right.
Valentine's day (2011)
First movie I went to see alone with my friends, I was like 12yo. Rewatched it again like 2 years ago, yeah it ain't that great but it's the memories right.
Father and soldiers (2022)
The last movie that made me cry. I hate war movies but my friends convinced me to go because it was less than 2 hours and I've been mad at movies being more than two and a half hours lately (looking at u House of Gucci, Doctor Strange 2) yeah, I cried my eyes out. It's not a perfect movie but the message is great and very moving. I don't like the English title because the original/French title directly refers the name of a group of African soldier recruited by France in its colonies during WWI -> "Les Tirailleurs" (if I remember well, the soldiers were recruited in every colonies but they left Africa from the Senegal and so all these soldiers are referred as Senegalese regardless of their actual origins). The English title is more fitting thematically wise I'll give you that.
Fulmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood (2009)
Knew about it, was recommended by a dear mutual of mine on this very hellsite and yeah, ppl keep saying it's good because it just is.
I told sunset about you/ I promised you the moon (2020-2021)
If you read my tags u know how I rant about this show often. Watched it 2 years ago thanks to someone i follow on Tumblr (but im not really sure who it was anyway if you're a mutual thank you sm). My first foray into BL (back when I didn't even know what it was) and I couldn't be happier that I started with this. I don't have enough words to praise it. (currently writing a post about it tho, stay tuned for whenever I get around to finish it (tell me if u wanna know when it's up), big up to Bad Buddy and To My Star too)
Honoured mentions bc I started making a list and had more than 8 and couldn't not mention them:
Other movies: O'brother, Love and Leashes, God's own country, Jackie Brown, The big lebowsky (idek if I like this movie but I needed something to base my personality around when I was 15yo)
The book The Hunchback of Notre-Dame by Victor Hugo, I'm gonna keep my rant about how the English title is a misunderstanding of the book locked and not even start it.
Alice isn't dead and The Magnus archives (although they're podcasts and I haven't quite finished them, the first seasons are exquisite)
Welcome to Night Vale, I have a lot of episodes to catch up on (currently working on that) started listening like in 2016 then stopped around idek 2 years ago. Some of these episodes are masterpieces ( some I know by heart: Guidelines for disposal, Love is a shambling thing, What happened at the Smithwick House, If he had lived, and The Pilot ofc)
the ballet Swan Lake (1995, 2012) by Matthew Bourne. I don't have enough words. I'll just say it's on youtube.
.....and many more im not think abt rn
*acts surprised* this became a real long post, real quick
(That's why I take a lot of time to answer those lmao, shout out and thank you to the ppl who tag me in these and then I take a lot of time to answer)
Tagging these people and anyone who wants to do it can mention me: @sherlockig @dontbesoevil @lordmeowdemort @namelessbeing @hairbackc0llarup @comrademichael @johnlockdynamic @lovelywickedsoul @frenchsiren
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vacantgodling · 8 months
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🌻🌻🌻🌻
thank u for the excuse to ramble about celestial weddings cuz i haven’t talked about this wip much on this iteration of my blog lol
celestial weddings as a wip started when i was watching a series of documentaries in 2021… i think? or 2022 i can’t remember. but it was a series documenting different wedding traditions and rituals across the globe and that got me thinking about a story that explored a multitude of different wedding traditions being the main focus. this lead to the idea that it shouldn’t just be a bunch of random weddings but it should be a polyamorous vibe where the main character is almost in an otome game scenario except they have to marry a number of different suitors for one reason or another with MY overarching goal to make fun and interesting fantasy wedding traditions.
this developed into the character of dagmar. i don’t have any updated art of him but here’s the most recent art i have of him
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and then the story started to snowball.
so, dagmar is non-binary; and along with polyamory that’s the other aspect of this wip: every character is non-binary and most of them tend to go by multiple pronouns. dagmar himself (i use him a lot bc he is inherently masculine and he is the first of his pronouns in preference) goes by he/they/she. and i think what’s interesting about this wip and about dag in general is that pronouns tend to shift in relation to the person that they’re around and the relationship they have. for instance with one of his lovers, lilliabet, dag mainly goes by he/they. however with another of his lovers vigustav (one of the only two who uses a singular set of pronouns) dag actually goes by she/her pretty exclusively. i don’t know why this is exactly but i’ll explore it more when i have more of a brain.
the reason dag is marrying all these people tho is bc he’s been chosen as a potential candidate for the celestial ruler, who p much oversees everything that goes on in the realm and throughout the 8 spheres (or realms) in this world. they all have names and the like which maybe i’ll ramble about later but we move on for now. the celestial ruler has a council of celestial lovers who help them in their decision making and ruling and it’s one person from each of the 8 spheres that they marry. marriage does not have to be inherently romantic btw but in this story and in anything about this universe i may do it will be cuz i personally like romance but it doesn’t gotta be so yknow.
anyway i love all of dag’s relationships with his partners. btw this poly circle is a one axis many spokes scenario. the other celestial lovers become friends and close like family but none of them are particularly attracted to each other in a romantic or sexual way (this does not mean orgies or group sex is off the table in any way tho yknow. ya can do what you want without attraction in pursuit of closeness and bonding etc etc i don’t feel like getting into the weeds) however there have been more complicated circles of polyships of previous celestial rulers so yeah.
ALSO i wanted all of the relationships to kind of speak to a different type of dynamic that i like tho i’m still working on the kinks of this as i learn more about the other lovers and their personalities. lillia, viggo, aenlin, and zhujen i have the best grasp of a personality and dynamic of so that leaves 4 others i gotta get to know better. but here’s a doodle of all the lovers it’s kinda old also and not entirely accurate but i need to make character and realm sheets for them LMAO. also now all the lovers have names but back then they didn’t LMAO. so going L to R top to bottom:
lilliabet (she/they) ; rhohanen (they/he) ; vigustav (he/him) ; almine (he/she) ; aenlin (he/they/she) ; zhujen (she/her) ; muu (they/she/he) ; izul (they/them)
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and slightly better doodle of my faves
(vigustav, lilliabet, rhohanen, aenlin)
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Does Ingo magic Ever get UNblocked? Mayeb its an emergency and He overwhems the block trying to use it so hard bc Someone is in danger(maybe dying and he can heal them) or maybe its undone (Which I say Irida should have done the moment they gained his trust which makes me think that maybe its not very simple easy or possible)
The broken bond is gut-wrenching I cant stand it, maybe instead being in Hisui means hes too far to SUMMON Chandelure but Its still there,just faint and faded. A soul bond is a soul bond its not 'till death do them part' its 'Where you go I will follow' , a thing that goes beyond death which does lend it toward being more an ace only type of deal. The ONLY reason that Emmet knows Ingo is alive is that Chandelure is still there. Its empathetic tho so maybe pain or distress can filter through the bond as strained as it is which Does Not Reasure Emmet.
WELL, i mean i can't very well say he has this crazy powerful magic and then not ever let him use it, can i lol. the question is just... how.
though re: irida, i think it's also not so much a lack of trust as just like. i mean like i said before, it feels like playing catch with high explosives. like, ingo doesn't even remember where he learned light magic, what if he tries to use it one time and screws up and something goes horribly wrong?? what's the guarantee he can control it perfectly every time? that his instinctive memory of how to use it is guaranteed to be right? it just feels safer for everyone to not even try. plus it's not like he's ever complained about it so he must not mind, right? ...right?
i do love the idea that he can undo it himself tho and just... hasn't yet out of courtesy. i mean, thinking about it, someone must have been around to soulbond them with their aces the first time, and if light is another primal force on the level of space/time/sky, maybe they can just make that tap themselves. and i don't remember if i've really discussed this before but reshiram/zekrom are deeply humanistic gods, so it's entirely possible that unlike others, an accomplished light mage doesn't even need a divine object to act as a conduit. light magic is already so responsive to human desire. so ingo's left it as it is because irida's clearly concerned about it, but then he has very good reason to use magic and he just. rewrites his own personal truth to not include it, like it's nbd. and irida's like (suddenly even more terrified of him) YOU COULD DO THAT THIS WHOLE TIME??
though funny as that mental image is if he's just forcibly overpowering it like you described, i also feel like that would be very taxing. especially if he's also interfering with or working around his soulbond with sneasler (or whatever her name is in this world). like he succeeds in whatever healing magic he needed to do, and then passes out immediately afterwards. and now whoever was dying isn't anymore but he might be, they can't immediately tell, and everyone's got a lot of questions that apparently only irida can answer
...another option, if the original soulbond with chandelure isn't broken (maybe just like, repressed or very faint) is that in his moment of panic, it's actually chandelure it self (or emmet, through chandelure?) that reaches out through the soul link and undoes the block. and it's like, the first approximation of proper contact they've had with him since he disappeared, and their only new information from it is that someone not only fucked with chandelure's soul link but completely locked his magic, what the fuck are they doing to him?? whoever's doing it is pissed the hell off but the link isn't very stable so they really only have time to unlock it and for ingo to get a vibe that someone somewhere is Very Angry, and then it's gone and the link is dead again and he's got bigger problems.
[ Anonymous: I think I need to clarify when I said "Where u Go I will follow" bc its. Late and I wasn't quite thinking all my thoughts onto the page. Bonded dont die the moment thir other does. Its just like a broken heart that bleeds for them. Chandelure however Is a ggost and probably immediately follow just by nature of being ghostly. most creatures DO die of a broken heart bc Bonded are very close Partners. Not all. Some pick up the pieces and forge on but their is a grief to them for the rest of days. ]
i do think that if the bond is there, it should be so faint as to be almost imperceptible bc otherwise it gives too much away/leaves too much of an open lead re: ingo and his past, and especially considering the mechanics of adding more than one soulbond might interfere with his being a warden. unless it's so dim and repressed that irida didn't even notice it at the time. though thinking of it, that could be a potential answer to "why is ingo joining this party:" he's trying to pursue this vague lead as to his past, and figures traveling with them is as good a way to do it as any.
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aurirorii · 3 months
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my carat journey ♡︎
sypnosis: (im sure the title makes this self-explanatory but) in which i tell you all about my first impressions and journeys as a carat. (i like summed it all up so its super short)
a/n: i havent been a carat for tooooo long but nonetheless it makes me feel pretty happy to see ive come as a carat as well as how the group themselves have grown over the years c:
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how did it start.. oh right. when i first came around seventeen or seen something about them it was actually back in may of 2021 from a clip i saw on youtube i saw of them on knowing brothers. this clip was when the mcs of the show were trying to guess all of the members’ names and it was the8’s turn.
i remember watching minghao doing that flip or wtv (sorry i dont remember what its called lol) n after he was all cool and stuff. and lowk i was like ‘oooooo.. hes kinda cute’ hehe. and honestly that was kinda it.
you see, it was in 2018 i was actually a k-pop stan yk during the prime era of kpop. obviously over the next 2-4 years i had lost focus. but, when i came back, that video was one of the many i had watched on youtube about kpop. and when i came back, i became a skz fan. i remember felix was my ult bias and that was that.
but that was until i came across an episode of going seventeen. pretty infamous right? god, i remember watching that episode when they were planting rice (ver-paddy) and i was hooked. i had never laughed so much, it was like my spark had come back. i say that because when i re-entered the kpop fandom, i wasn’t at the highest point of my life. so laughing that much over one video on youtube made me so happy. that was when i knew that i needed to find out who this group was and where i can watch more episodes.
that was when i realized that the group i was watching was seventeen: the group with that one cute guy with gray hair and glasses (the8)! also when i realized that vernon was in seventeen (i knew and recognized vernon bc if his cover with jeongyeon, do i need to keep explaining? i didn’t think so).
although, when i started looking into the members, one caught my eye and it was safe to say it was not the8. it was LA boy hong joshua. idk what it was really but i thought he looked so idk— beautiful. so thats what it was for me. i started stanning the group and having joshua as my new ult bias in june 2022. sadly, over time, my interest in skz started to decline. it wasn’t that skz wasn’t great, they are, y’know how it is right?
that was how my journey started. i started listening to their music, getting into going seventeen, binge-watching like all the seventeen related videos i could find on youtube, and most importantly: going through hell trying to learn all of the members.
oh. my. god. hey, you know, it took some time, but i got there! (i always messed up woozi and hoshi) um.. anyways. as time went on, obviously i was able to experience the feeling of waiting to watch their new comebacks and such. and honestly, i don’t mean to be one of those people, but seventeen genuinely brought my spark back. i had, and still, never been so interested in something until them.
around 5-6 months later, it was in novemeber 2022 when i was pretty settled into the group when my thoughts and views started to change. i was starting to focus on new members. i honestly don’t remember at all how this started but jeonghan caught my eye. and i was hooked.
idk.. hes js so.. im sure u know what i mean!!! i mean who wouldn’t? like, have you seen jeonghan? oh lordy lord. he was so beautiful yet fine yet cute yet literally all of the above. i sound like one of those crazy fans. PLEASE GUYS I PROMISE IM NOT LIKE THAY JUST HEAR ME OUT A TINY BIT. let a girl be delulu PLS. ok now im gonna continue being delulu for a sec thanks.
i do admit i still fangirl a bit over him, just a teensy bit!!!!! (i fucking watch edits on tiktok HELP ME I HAVE A SAVED COLLECTION IN MY FAVORITES ermmmm i js want to be organized!!!! …..) please guys im just a girl.
uh. yeah! but in all seriousness, i’m so happy that i was able to come across such an amazing group. time has passed so much and it’s crazy for me to understand that i’ve been already been a carat for almost 2 years. (pls help me ive watched like every gose episode and inside seventeen episode like 50 million times each, but honestly i’ll never get tired of it).
i’m so proud of seventeen after everything they’ve gone through. watching them win their first daesang made me feel so happy for them, they absolutely deserve it. from practicing together in a small, green walled room to selling out almost all of their shows and stages they perform on, seventeen has grown so much as not just a group but individually.
i just know that if seventeen’s predebut self saw their lives now their joy would just be through the roof. as one of the most looked-upon sunbaenims in their industry, i’m sure most people can agree seventeen tops their line of style when making music.
and i’m also so glad i decided to be a carat. i love the fandom, like i can be on tiktok for hours just laughing watching carats post the funniest memes and compilations as well as making the stupidest tweets. i can very much vouch carats are one of the most funniest, supportive fandoms out there.
so yeah, that’s about it!
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macccc hi. hi hi <3 ik u don’t watch qsmp but i wanna cry in ur inbox for a second. we got. fucked up sibling dynamics. it happened. cellbit had a twin sister named bagi and he went missing and was thrown into a war and she searched for him endlessly. his first memory is standing over a dead body and having to eat it to survive. bagi is slowly recovering her own memories and is desperate for him to remember her. he keeps pushing her away bc he can’t fathom that he had a LIFE and a FAMILY and people who CARED about him. he thought he came from war but he came from love and didn’t even know it. bagi became a cop just so she could try to break him out of prison but she never got the chance bc he broke out first and she lost him again. she spent fifteen years looking for him and he spent fifteen years trying to survive. they’re both devastated over this in different ways. this always happens with media i get into it always comes back around to messed up siblings i’m going to start eating the floorboards. the strider bros the plant twins ccrimeboys. this is my brother and i need a shovel to love him. you can get a new son or a father but who can grow me a new brother. yk. just gonna lay here and cry for a minute brb
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anyway how r u doing!!! how’s it going!!!! how r ur blorbos!! i never got into adventure time as a kid what’s it like what’s the recent series like how’s it going :3 how r ur little guys i wanna know!!!! i’m still watchin hannibal btw makin my way thru s2e2 AS WE SPEAK!!!
OH GOD OH FUCK I LOVE HORRIBLE TRAGIC SIBLINGS !!!!!!!!!!!! i keep saying this but im so glad im not directly into qsmp because i KNOW i would be imprinting on cellbit like a baby duckling. it was A JOKE AT FIRST because i saw he had a white streak but every new thing i learn about him im like. of fuck thats my type of character like. to a t. unbelievable.
I AM DOING GOOD its sooooo cold today and i cannot wait 2 be done with work so i can get all cozy (<< guy who is dumb and chose a career path that is Almost Always Outdoor Manual Labor) . adventure time is soooooooooooooo so so so good. i actually have not seen ANY of the post-canon series which is why im currently rewatching the main one!! i want 2 watch them so bad. ive heard such good things about fionna and cake. ouuguguhg. its a very good show its the perfect balance of really silly and lighthearted and also.... emotions. <3 formative piece of media. u are speaking to the worlds biggest flame princess kinnie. also i have been thinking abt my ocs a lot lately bc i havent drawn them since artfight. this is a DISGRACE.
IM SOOOO GLAD UR STILL ENJOYING HANNIBAL. oh season 2 goes nuts. season 1 is probably my favorite as a whole but my favorite Individual Episode is the season 2 finale. ohhh the season 2 finale makes me so insane. ouguha. also lmk when u meet a character named mason verger i have a funny story about him <3
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linabirb · 7 months
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👀👀👀 For the bingo, I'd like to hear your thoughts on Aki (csm just to be safe because its quite a common name haha), Makima, Isagi, Kaiser, Reo, and Mikoto.
.. OH BOY I HOPE YOU'RE READY TO HEAR SOME OF THE WORST TAKES EVER
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.. i'm going to be honest. I GENUINELY FORGET AKI EXISTS SOMETIMES. like my brain just goes "uhhh remember denji and power's big bro" and im like "OH". if you remember my akutagawa bingo, i think you can see a pattern which can only be described as "i am so sorry but i just cannot make myself care about brooding dark-haired anime boys" 😭😭 (dan heng from hsr is one of the few exceptions) idk i really do think his story was sad but i'm also kinda like. i was too focused on other things when i read and watched csm JSKDSLASLSL. "what things" well.. let's talk about the next character on our list.
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feel free to shoot me or stab me for this. but yes, THIS WOMAN IS ACTUALLY MY FAV CSM CHARACTER 😭 (along with kobeni and asa) i just love evil women! and i love well-written evil women! and i have so much to say about her. i genuinely love the way she was written and she's a very realistic character, but i am not a fan of how the csm fandom just. doesn't care about her character at all and cares only about her crimes and i'm not even talking about her basically destroying the whole world and killing SO MANY PEOPLE, i'm talking about her relationship with denji. which is, OF COURSE, bad and extremely toxic and unhealthy, especially considering that denji is a minor. however, i think seeing that as her only "personality trait" is so.. it just doesn't sit right with me. like i would be okay with people talking about everything she's done and analyzing it and going "yeah she's still a bad person even if she's well-written and deep" but i am NOT okay with people going "yeah she's a groomer and also she killed my faves :(" like. i don't know. if you don't want to interact with such "problematic" content just don't read it? though i'm gonna be honest i'm pretty sure most csm fans are very young and from what i heard, a lot of them haven't even read/watched any "dark" content before csm. me picking "they are innocent if u ignore their various crimes" is obv a joke, i definitely agree that makima is a terrible person, but also. i can't deny that she's pretty <3 and also the fact that she just needed a hug breaks my heart every time i think about it. i actually have a plushie of her too! one of the best purchases i've ever made, she stares at me with her big ol' yellow eyes and i do everything she says. thank you for motivating me to do my hw, queen.
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but enough talking about my faves. honestly.. i don't really care about isagi? which actually makes me very sad bc i found him very relatable at first but then i kinda got bored? like i can't even describe his personality, i can only say "uhhh he's friendly with other guys unless he's playing football and also. uh. he likes football"? and ig that can also be very fun and i'm usually a huge fan of characters that usually act nice but also have a very rude and mean side, but isagi is just. idk, i don't really find him that interesting and those moments when he's like, busy analyzing everything and coming up with strategies.. honestly, i just skipped them JSDKSLSLS. I WANTED MORE ACTION OKAY. i think his relationship with bachira is cute though!
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BACK TO MY FAVES. i would bite kaiser's head off if i ever got the chance but he's also one of my fav characters. yeah. he's so cool, i love his design sm, i need to look like him. i want to get into his head and figure out what's wrong with him. i want to squeeze him and crush him and tear him apart, but i also love him so much. tbh i don't know anything about the new chapters, but i'd love to learn more about him, it's like, at the same time, i want him to have a backstory that's a little bit (or maybe VERY) sad, but i also kinda want him to be like that just bc he can (even though i'm pretty sure it was implied that he does have a reason for acting like that). and yes, i love his relationship dynamic with ness. yeah.
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reo. another fave of mine. though i actually didn't like him that much when i first saw him, but. i knew deep down that a purple boy will become one of my faves. love this gay disaster of a man, everything that happened between him and nagi was more entertaining than every single romance movie that i've ever watched. i want him to get better and realize that he's capable of doing great things without him. i also want him to become even more dependent on him for angst reasons. it's hard. and i honestly both love and hate that moment when he decides to return to nagi right after he finally started to get some character development, because YES I WANT HIM TO GROW AND I WANT HIS PERSONALITY TO BE SOMETHING OTHER THAN "if i spend at least one day w/o nagi i will die", but also it's very realistic and as someone who was in MULTIPLE (platonic) relationships that were exactly like his relationship with nagi.. that moment was very painful. in a good way. and again, i wanna look like him.
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my relationship with mikoto is very hard to explain bc it's like. in theory, i'd love to learn more about him. i'd love to stan him. but also.. i'm not a fan of how the fandom pretty much makes his DID his only personality trait? maybe i'm just on the wrong side of the fandom, but i rarely see any posts about his other traits? again, i'd love to learn more bc i have a feeling that we have a lot in common, but. but yeah. i'm a huge fan of his minigram version though <3 so silly. so squishy. so funny. (honestly, me being salty that almost all convos about mikoto usually discuss his DID is so funny to me now that after three therapy sessions i've found out that i'm most likely a system SJHSJDKDLSL like bro THAT IS YOU) about "i would push them down the stairs" i mean it in a silly playful way :) like i want him to fall down and scream in a very cartoony and funny way.
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