#naked gun meme
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#don't call me shirley#naked gun#naked gun meme#lord of the rings#the lord of the rings#boromir#the one ring#the ring of power#funny#funny pictures#humor#funny photo#funny post#funny images#funny memes#funny pics#mashups#puns#dumb puns#bad puns#funny puns#so punny#mount doom#leslie nielsen
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#metal gear solid#metal gear memes#metal gear series#metal gear#metal gear solid 1#metal gear solid 2#metal gear solid 3#metal gear solid 4#naked snake#big boss#revolver ocelot#shitpost#metal gay solid#he’s Pretty Good#snake eater#sons of liberty#shadow moses#guns of the patriots#hot old man syndrome#50 top metal gear solid twink moments#*spins gun seductively*#it’s the stance!
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Creds: Angry Asian Man (blog.angryasianman.com)
#who would win in a fight tho#sulu is more versatile in terms of fencing and can operate a phaser#but han is strategic with his guns and would probably win in a fistfight#dunno but i'd love to see that fight happen#richelieu beware#han sulu#hikaru sulu#tos sulu#star trek tos#star trek 1960's#star trek the original series#startrek#han solo#a new hope#star wars original trilogy#star wars#harrison ford#george takei#the naked time#star trek memes#star wars memes#st memes#sw memes#st tos#sw anh
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Big Boss At The Inauguration
#metal gear#metal gear solid#metal gear solid 4#metal gear solid 4 guns of the patriots#big boss#naked snake#my art#meme#teoft art
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youtube
Spent a while on this edit so please watch and enjoy!
#frank drebin#leslie nielsen#naked gun#spider-man: the animated series#spider-man tas#90s cartoons#green screen memes#marvel memes#the naked gun#police squad
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It was too big of an opportunity to not make a silly meme out of it, okay? I’m sorry you gotta to relieve the cropped version
#fake youtube#terrortwinstv#Motley Crue#Tommy Lee#nikki sixx#guns n roses#slash#duff mckagan#Steven Adler#nsfwish because that man is totally naked#motley crue memes#my edit
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Second option on that moment in Silent Hill Play Novel made me laugh. Harry Mason and Michael Kaufmann had to deal with each other like gentlemen 🔫🧐
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All day on Twitter, pro Palestine westerners of both sexes have been attempting to justify the scenes in the viral video of the deceased, bloodied, half naked woman, being paraded through the streets in a pick up truck by men with machine guns chanting Allah Akbar.
It's come in 3 forms:
1. saying "where were you when the IDF did [X crime] to [Y woman]?" to people they've literally never met and do not know the politics of. They're just assuming that anyone distressed at the footage is a Jewish/Israeli supremacist who doesn't care for innocent slaughtered Palestinian people.
These whataboutery addicts are disingenuous as all fuck, and completely desensitised to acts of violence, so much so that they project their own inability to extend compassion for murder victims on "the other side", onto those whose tweets they're replying to. Victims are just gotchas to them.
But they're cupcakes compared to the next 2 categories.
2. saying that these men's murders of women, abduction of elderly ladies (separate viral incident) and other crimes against civilians is a justified reaction against apartheid and/or settler colonialism, and that Israeli people have had it coming.
I cannot believe I have to say this, but regardless of your opinion on the conflict, whether you’re a Zionist or believe Israel is an apartheid state, if you believe random women, young and old, and their children, being abducted, bombed, raped, murdered and paraded through the streets by men, is a justified response to oppression, then you are dead inside. That’s not brave rebellion. It’s plain old male savagery.
There is, sadly, an academic case which could be made that such brutalities assist the war effort of a nation to gain independence – this being a reference to the fact that the most savage empires, the ones willing to commit the most gruelling acts, tend to be the ones to come out on top during wars. History shows us - think of Rome, Japan, etc.
But this type of speculation almost always crosses the line into justifying such crimes, because it was never about speculation for speculation’s sake. It was about wanting the other side - including women and children - slaughtered. Pro-Palestine Twitter have demonstrated this perfectly today.
Please let me make this excruciatingly clear, this political behaviour is exhibited by practically every male-dominated movement and ideology there is, which is… everything other than radical feminism. Zionists do this too. As do conservatives, liberals, marxists, fascists, progressives, pacifists, nationalists of all stripes – supremacist and anti-colonial, theocrats, Islamists, etc. It’s just that the issue of today is the Israel Palestine conflict, so this is the obvious example to reference.
And the 3rd form of response, much like the 2nd, is to justify these crimes against civilians as an act of rebellion, but go one step further and laugh about it. Saying things like "play stupid games, win stupid prizes 🤣🤣", "Imfao at Israelis suddenly pretending to be victims", making wojak memes and spamming them to the people expressing distress over seeing that video of the dead woman, etc. See this example from a trans-identified man:
Notice how at no point have I said my opinion on the Israel Palestine conflict? Because I have one. And it's probably not what either side would expect. And that’s exactly the problem. My disgust at Palestinian men parading a dead Israeli woman through the streets and spitting on her is automatically interpreted to be me supporting the Israeli state.
But your political view on the conflict should have a 0% impact on this fundamental principle: as a feminist, you do not EVER, FUCKING EVER, think that a woman on "the other side" of a mens war deserves to die.
To accuse someone of not caring about dead Palestinian women, as pro-Palestine Twitter have been doing all day, to random stranger who simply said "this is horrific" re: the dead woman in the truck, is:
a) to project your own heartlessness toward women on "the other side" onto them.
b) to further normalise the glorification of violent men, under this false veneer of their crimes being a necessary and justified revolt against whatever type of oppression they have in their society. As if stripping a woman bare and parading her through the streets has ever been a practically useful or ethical war tactic.
And c) to imply that those on "the other side" deserve whatever cruel fate meets them, simply because the male class of their society committed unjustifiable crimes.
I cannot think of anything less pro-woman, anything less feminist, than that.
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UnPopular Jujutsu Kaisen Opinions (with arguments)
manga spoilers
☆ Yuji is the perfect MC
i've seen a lot of people trashing on him. some say gege writes him poorly and doesn't give him enough scenes, some say he's boring because he doesn't have any fancy cursed techniques. first of all, yuji has been aware of the jujutsu world for 6 months in manga; even less in anime. he doesn't have any OP cliche to him (looking at you Ichigo) and that makes him so much more enjoyable! when he loses he loses for good reasons and when he wins you can feel genuinely happy for him because you know he deserves it. he is a teenager and the shift in his mentalities embodies that perfectly; along with him we discover the cruelty and unfairness of the jujutsu world. at first, especially if you're a shonen watcher, you'd tend to believe he will shift to a high white knight borderline annoying mentality yet he doesn't, the jjk verse doesn't work like that. yuji is able to adapt. he has traits that you'd see in your real life friends: silliness, kindness, idiocy, love for jennifer lawrence etc but also traits that make him a perfect mc: empathy, resiliance, convinction, raw anger. + gege have him some of the HARDEST panels.
ㅡif it's just pain... Yuji Itadori won't ever stop
also. his last battle with mahito. hands down. best. panels.
mahito (another well structured villain) RUNNING for his life while yuji walks slowly behind him. if that doesn't show major improvement from the kid he was at the beginning idk what does. that's some MC shit right there man.
☆ Sukuna is not a fraud
the fraudkuna memes are funny. i admit. i'm sure mahoraga kisses him goodnight and tucks his blankey, however, sukuna is a fucking piece of shit, LOL (i mean it in the best way), my man literally became curse. people expect him to not use the weapons he has to his advantage as if he didn't want megumi from the beginning specifically for using his abilities. a good gun doesn't make you a military tier shooter. it's about the resources, it's about the experience, it's about the aim. "why doesn't he use his curse technique wah wah" — because he knows gojo is strong. unless he isn't absolutely sure he will strip him away from all his gimmicks, he has no reason to flaunt his true powers. sukuna wants to win. he wanted to kill gojo since the beginning of the series. i think the fight is balanced well, sukuna uses his resources and takes the consequences for being a tad too cautious. in the heian era when cursed energy had a purer, rawer output even domain expansions were simple in principles: you're in, i kill you. (line from the manga, btw) his CT is probably straightforward as well with a simple principle so having gojo use his infinity against it and figure out how to strip him naked would make him lose faster than todo called yuji his bestie.
☆ Gege doesn't hate women
because the unfortunate thing with nobara and yuki getting xd-d by kenjaku, a popular belief seems to be that gege is fond of trashing the women in his series. argument people have for that? "the only one in the spotlight is maki and she's female toji". first of all, if gege hated women he wouldn't write them as he does— each one of his lady characters is incredibly well structured and way beyond the love interest/ gotta be protected trope. mei mei, shoko, utahime, miwa and many others became non-existent, or what? even tengen is a woman. masashi kishimoto (the creator of naruto) is an author i'd say has 0 regards for women since the way most of his girl characters are built is literal dog shit. sakura is naruto's one sided love and a sasuke dickrider, hinata is a stalker that sharts when she sees naruto, karin is a sasuke dickrider, kurenai is asuma's chick and the only two women somewhat ok as a structure are tsunde and temari. (i am a big fan of the naruto series but i am spitting facts, also an avid sakura lover) plus there is a rumour that gege is a woman too and from the way sato sugu is written i'd agree anw
☆ Kenjaku is the best villain of the series
homie got railed by itadori's papi just for his plan, that's not even aizen level of plotting bro. he got drizzled in jizz and gave birth to yuji 💀
how good that d had to be for him to get impregnated....
ANYWAY jokes aside, he is very calculated and chill. he is not the strongest but his literal essence is to be a technique stealing leech and well, he's just that. with suguru, even in his villain arc you can empathize. sukuna is cool and straightforward: he wants to massacre people, kill gojo and then enjoy his life slashing random ass people who don't kneel is total submission.
kenjaku? bro, kenjaku has plans over plans and he executes all of them. even in geto's sexy body he still gets hated because there is genuinely nothing likeable about him. not because he's a poorly written character, he's written to be a piece of shit that makes you wanna break the screen when he gets a W and idk about y'all but even when he exorcised mahito i was like "aw hell nah bruh, get your hands off asap". may come as a shock, i know but we're like supposed to hate villains (not me being the biggest sukuna simp even in his crusty dusty OG form🤭) and well, nobody fucking roots for kenjaku. so gojo, go take your boyfriend's body or something fr.
☆ Yuta is.... mid
hear me out.
i don't hate him— not in the slightest. i hope he will actually have something going on with maki since apparently nobara is afk. i liked his entire rika situation but... bro.
yes, i will be going into the power system 😭I'M SORRY BUT like all he does is copy shit. wow. sure, he's a good copycat. i am not complaining about him being called so powerful and wtv but i don't find anything exciting about his battles and his personality is dead ass boring. do i get happy when he wins? yes. do i hope he'll come and save goatjo? yes. yes. yes. but people call him the real MC and all that shit... not even that— i... nothing in me likes him. my opinions are not absolute. his story is cool. i liked jjk 0 but the only thing that ruins his story is literally his lack of perosnality. and don't come at me for not grasping his depths or whatever. yuta is best fanfic y/n material because he can be turned into bashful stereotype really easily. "omg, best friend power, precious friends made me wanna live ❤️" very sweet HOWEVER very untouching for me. i only liked him when he made maki go all blushy because my girl deserves happiness.
☆ Toji actually cares about Megumi
is he the good father that would spoil his kid as a ray of sunshine?
no.
but he chose this. to forget about everything, to abandon his pride, to part himself away from the clan that rejected him and live his life on his own. megumi's mom made shit better for him and she died so his life became shit again. he thought that by entrusting megumi to the zenin clan he would actually be able to make something of himself since he had cursed energy.
also, people tend to forget just how conservative and judgemental the 3 big clans are, maki and mai have been shat on their whole life by the zenins, especially maki. toji went through the same shit if not worse. he wasn't always buff max version of himself, he wasn't born with anything. exactly because he gave up on all the things in his life he was able to reach that type of power and live with some purpose since he failed in everything else.
in the manga he has the option of coming back to life as long as he keeps killing sorcerers, which is his speciality, but he meets megumi, recognises him and kills himself in order to not hurt him. be fr. anciet sorcerers sold their booty holes to kenjaku to get a second chance at life.
ANYWAY. SADLY i can't post Toji memes since i reached my pic limits.
let me know what you think:) i may make a part 2. feel free to also ask for my opinions about anything in the verse, lol. if you wanna see my fics check my ao3, i promise i don't write in the same braindead way i type. <33
#jujutsu kaisen analysis#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk 0#jjk 0 movie#opinion#anime#anime and manga#manga panel#jjk manga spoilers#jjk manga#toji fushiguro#megumi fushiguro#yuta okkotsu#rika jjk#yuji itadori#yuji jjk#jjk nobara#nobara kugisaki#maki zenin#maki jjk#zenin clan#ryoumen sukuna#sukuna#gojo satoru#kenjaku#geto suguru#jjk analysis#mahito
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Lookism Chapter 440 Memes/Thoughts I Have:
(SPOILERS !!! I don’t own any of the Lookism panels and the translations. Only the memes that I made.)
Wooooo weeeeee, another chapter this week! LET'S GOOOOOOOO!!! Also, I'm so sorry for worrying y'all for my absence these past few days but after this review is posted, Imma disappear again. 😭 At this point, my chapter reviews might not be posted on time and will be late to post frequently now. Also, don't mind me changing the color of the title every 10 chapters... *Ahem* Anyways-
RIGHT OFF THE BAT, THESE HOTTIES:
Ughhh... God, the fan service here. Thanks PTJ, you the man. 😩✋🏽 Also, the way Jibeom just acted like nothing happened by saying, "SORRY!" UH HA HA HA HA HA HA... 🧍🏽♀️💢 Nah, we allies now. Gotta forgive, right? And Jihan too... 🧍🏽♀️💢💢 Man, y'all just got your asses beat for no reason. This reminds me of those anime with the MC's fighting the enemies, and then they end up becoming allies with the "power of friendship". Behold, the power of friendship everyone.
Ok, but Imma be honest. Every time I see Hudson now, I squeal like a fangirl at a BTS concert. And suddenly seeing him... NAKED? RIGHT OFF THE BAT? My loyalty for Gun is REALLY being tested. Wtf man. Also, the snakes though? That's wild. 😭
Yeah, that panel really wrecked me. Physically and emotionally.
Oh, of course. Also, debt? Huh? 🤔
Yeah man, we need to know!!! WE'VE BEEN DYING TO KNOWWWWWWWW. Whenever I hear "Young Master", it reminds me of a butler saying that. As if Daniel is being treated by a butler. 💀
YESSSSSS FINALLY DANIEL GOT A LEAD TO JINYOUNG!!! 💪🏽
"At least eat before you go." That's so nice of them. Also, "At this rate he'll live here." KSSLDJLFSDHFSLFHDSFH JIHAN PLSSSSS- 💀💀💀💀💀
Oh? Daniel coming up with a big brain plan...? 👀
LET'S GOOOOOOOO DANIEL!! BIG BRAIN MOVE!!! 🤭
Daniel being acknowledged by, not only the man who ended the era of the First Generation, but also, the STRONGEST FIRST GENERATION KING???? Oh god, I love his growth and character development so much. He'll always have my heart forever. 💖 ALSO, THIS WHOLESOME MOMENT WITH JICHANG??? THIS IS TOO CUTE. MY HEART- 😩💗 I WAS SOBBING AT THIS BECAUSE THIS WAS TOO CUTE TO WITNESS. LIKE, LOOK AT HIM PETTING DANIEL'S HEAD, LOOKING LIKE A PROUD UNCLE.
Literally, one of the cutest things I've ever seen in a long time in Lookism.
YUUUSSSSSS, JICHANG IS GONNA HELP HIM EVENTUALLY. 😭😭👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 I hope they actually do make it to the First Affiliate though. But, if the Elder knew where he was, then does that mean that he knows that Jinyoung is not in his right mind? And does he know that he has people held captive in his little basement? 👀 *coughs* Daniel *coughs* Johan *coughs* Samuel... Sorry guys, I might be getting a cold. Idk what's going on with me.
Ohhhhhh shiiiii... Pls tell me we gonna see Jake here...
AHHHHHHHH I KNEW IT, JAKE!!! BABY BOY IS BACK!!!! 😭💙 Oh shit, I wOnDeR who THAT could be...
Tbh I'm not surprised that he said it was James Lee lol. It has been emphasized by Eugene before when he said in Ch. 432, that he was aware of the murder case that caught the attention of a lot of people. And he also mentioned how Charles Choi had been using blackmail on James Lee to control him in exchange of covering James's part of the murder. Also, earlier in that chapter, I was wondering why Charles would even bother to help in covering up a murder for James if that person that James murdered wasn't so important in the first place. If it was just a "nobody", then he would've just thrown that person somewhere, buried him, or burnt his body and converted it into ashes. Clearly, it all makes sense now. (Also, the red picture gave it away. lmao) AND JAKE, WITH THE TYPICAL "death stare" EXPRESSION WHEN HE FOUND OUT WHO THE MURDERER FOR HIS FATHER'S DEATH WAS??? Is he going to get revenge or something? 😭
But oh boy, James is really gonna get it eventually. Both him and Charles Choi. Actually, DEFINITELY Charles Choi. The guy is literally walking scum in the first place.
You see, Charles Choi is a clown... 😀 *end of argument*
I hope he does. Because if Charles Choi intercepts their operation, I'm going to sue. 😡
Ughhhh, bro... Don't make me cry again, please. 💀💀💀💀
Oh great, speak of the Devil. 👿 FUCK OFF CHARLES, AND STOP RUNNING AWAY FROM YOUR CRIMES, YOU ASSHOLE! 😤
NOOOOOOOOOO FUCK YOUUUUU CHARLES!!! GET AWAY FROM THE ELDER!!!! AGGHHHHHDSFHSDFHASDJDSHFLSD JICHANG!!!! BEAT HIS ASS!!!! TAKE HIS LIMBS OFF!!!! 😤😤😤😤😤
IT'S NOW OR NEVER, MF. I WANT THIS MAN TO SUFFER.
Wait, an "unknown car"? He MUST have a driver with him. Please tell me that his driver is none other than Gun/Goo... Ik this is wishful thinking, but I want to see them again. 😳
YEEEEEEESSSSSS JICHANG, SLAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYY. SLAY KING, SLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY. 😩👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 HERE'S YOUR CROWN, KING OF CHUNGCHEONG'S KING OF SEOUL'S WHITE SNAKE!! 👑
By choking...? 💀 I mean, I've seen a big ass snake devour a huge animal before, so it's possible Charles. Don't doubt Jichang's abilities, because you might be surprised at how he could MURDER YOU ON SIGHT. 😡😡😡 (And oh god, looking at Elite's face still reminds me of my professor. 😭 *sobbing* But also, with a twist of Manager Kim too.)
I just want his ass to be wiped off the face of the Earth. Both him, and Eugene. But, wait... If Eugene and James Lee are conspiring AGAINST Charles Choi, and everyone else are conspiring against Charles Choi too, then... WHY CAN'T EVERYONE JUST UNITE AND BEAT CHARLES??? They all have a similar goal, yet they decided to do things their own way? Well, I get that they have ulterior motives/goals for them to take down Charles Choi, but at least make it easier for yourselves instead of just handling the crap on your own, right? Fight later, unite now. 🧍🏽♀️
Man, idk anymore. Just do whatever tf you guys want at this point. 😭
#lookism#lookismaddict#lookism 440#lookism spoilers#lookism spoiler#lookism webtoon#lookism manhwa#lookism memes#lookism meme#kwak jibeom#hudson ahn#ahn hyunseong#kwak jihan#jay hong#hong jaeyeol#daniel park#park hyungseok#noh bakgu#kwak jichang#choi beongae#jake kim#kim gimyeong#charles choi#choi dong soo
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#metal gear solid#metal gear memes#metal gear series#metal gear#metal gear solid 1#metal gear solid 2#metal gear solid 3#metal gear solid 4#naked snake#big boss#revolver ocelot#shitpost#my gay boyfriends snake and ocelot#snake eater#sons of liberty#shadow moses#guns of the patriots#hot old man#hot old man syndrome#girlfriend reveal#:3
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"We have good reason to worry about this: As Israelis count their dead, politicians in Israel and the US call for Palestinian blood in direct, genocidal language. “We are fighting human animals and we will act accordingly,” said Israeli Defense Minister Yoav Gallant yesterday. “Finish them, Netanyahu,” said former Ambassador to the United Nations and Republican presidential candidate Nikki Haley. “Neutraliz[e] the terrorists,” said Democratic senator John Fetterman. Jews share memes about the highest number of Jewish casualties since the Holocaust, not bothering to ask who, right now, is being ethnically cleansed, or how many massacres of this size Gaza has seen in the last dozen years. This language deploys the bombs that fall on Gazans from the sky, leveling whole neighborhoods, wiping out families without warning, huddled in their homes because they have nowhere to flee. “There are body parts scattered everywhere. There are still people missing,” one man north of Gaza City told CNN. “We’re still looking for our brothers, our children. It’s like we’re stuck living in a nightmare.”
We will likely soon see this genocidal impulse spread, as the Israeli government hands out automatic weapons to West Bank settlers, many of whom were already armed eliminationists. In this way, Jewish grief is routed back into the violence of a merciless system of Palestinian subjugation that reigns from the river to the sea. It is mobilized by US politicians who support Benjamin Netanyahu and his extremist government, which has intensified Palestinian death and displacement and disappeared any hope of a diplomatic solution. It is marshaled to drum up support for sending weapons to Israel, even as we know that, as Haggai Mattar wrote in +972 Magazine, “there is no military solution to Israel’s problem with Gaza, nor to the resistance that naturally emerges as a response to violent apartheid.”
(...)
On October 7th, my own feelings fluctuated wildly. My first feeling was fear. To listen closely to the genocidal language of this Israeli government over the past year has been to live in terror of the day they would find the excuse to pursue it. Writing in n+1, Jewish Currents contributing editor David Klion recounts the words of a campus activist in the wake of 9/11: “They’re already dead,” he’d said on the day Bush declared war on Iraqis, their fates sealed. I felt these words in my body, sobbing loudly in front of the screen. There were also bursts, very early on, of awe. I watched the image of the bulldozer destroying the Gaza fence again and again and cried tears of hope. I watched Palestinian teenagers seemingly out joyriding in a place half a mile away that they’d never been; a Gazan blogger suddenly reporting from Israel. But these images were quickly joined by others—the image of a woman’s body, mostly naked and bent unnaturally in the back of a truck; rooms full of families lying in piles, the walls spattered in blood. I wanted desperately to keep these images separate—to hold close the liberatory metaphor and banish the violent reality. By the time I began to accept that these were pictures of the same event, I was distraught, and contending with a rising alienation from those who did not seem to share my grief, especially as the scope of the massacre came into view.
(...)
Part of what has made the experience of this event feel so different from the status quo—and so different to Palestinians and Jews—comes from the fact that Palestinians were undeniably the actors, for once, not the acted upon. The protagonists of the story. I consider it an enormous failure of our movements that we have not been able to build a vehicle for that kind of reversal in any other way thus far. Our Jewish movements for Palestine were not powerful enough to stop other Jews from gunning down Palestinians in peaceful marches at the Gazan border fence, or to keep Palestinians from being fired, harassed, and sued for speaking the truth about their experience or—God forbid—advocating the nonviolent tactic of boycott.
And now, we do not have a shared struggle able to credibly respond to these massacres of Israelis and Palestinians. With all of the work that many Jews and Palestinians have done to reach toward each other over the years, I believe at heart it is this failure that is now driving us apart. There is no formidable political formation that I know of that can hold the political subjectivity of both Jews and Palestinians in this moment without simply attempting to assimilate one into the other. No place where Jews and Palestinians who agree on the basics of Palestinian liberation—right of return, equality, and reparations—are poised to turn the synthesis of these two subjectivities into a coherent strategy.
(...)
One of the most terrible things about this event is the sense of its inevitability. The violence of apartheid and colonialism begets more violence. Many people have struggled with the straightjacket of this inevitability, straining to articulate that its recognition does not mean its embrace. I am reminding myself that it was from Palestinians, many of them writing and speaking in these pages, that I learned to think of Palestine as a site of possibility—a place where the very idea of the nation-state, which has so harmed both peoples, could be remade or destroyed entirely."
...
-Arielle Angel, “We Cannot Cross Until We Carry Each Other” (October 12, 2023)
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Man Eater!
+synopsis; it’s so hard being a hot zombie in such a judgemental world and it’s even worse when humans find out they exist. but don’t worry, zombie hunter gojo will fuck you out of your misery!
+content/warnings; zombie fucking, nasty, slopping eating, pure smut barely any plot, anal, ass to pussy, squirting, brief mention of getou x reader, dry humping, slight pervert!gojo, impact play, reader is always half naked/dresses like picture, degrading, fingering, pussy slapping, hand jobs, rough sex, mean!reader, fear play, weapons, brief gunplay, cowgirl, doggy, standing full nelson, multiple rounds, spitting, gojo doesn’t become a zombie😞
+pairings; zombie!reader x zombie hunter gojo!
+a/n; it’s not proofread sorryyyy :(((
“are you sure it’s going to be safe here?” you asked pursing your lips together and titling your head to the side. the brown haired man stopped in the tracks for a brief second to check the windows. “yeah, my dad used to go here all the time for weeks,” he replies, completely winded.
“i seriously don’t understand how your so out of breath, we’re literally zombies!” you giggle watching his eyes twitch out of frustration. “shut up, y/n,” he says sternly. you gasp before playfully rolling your eyes.
“look, i’ll be out in the city for necessities. stay here and under no circumstances let anyone in.” he looks you in the eyes before walking to the door. “i mean it y/n, they’ll kill you without a second glance,” he turns so his back is facing you. “yeah, yeah, i heard you,” you tut before slamming the door. you heard the leaves crunching under his heavy boots as he walked through the dense woods.
the sun was starting to set and so you spent the rest of the day preparing meals, exploring the cabin and forgetting to boarder the windows. the late night wind flowed through the trees and the birds had quietened down into the familiar eerie silence.
you were in the sitting room laughing at twitter memes on your phone. you stopped midway, staring at the ceiling. ‘was that tapping at the window…?’
your heart was racing and you felt sweat start to form on your forehead. your palms felt clammy and hot as you tried to calm yourself down. it was most likely your imagination playing tricks on you!
you chuckled at the absurdity of it all. who would be tapping on the upstairs window? how silly!
you resumed your favourite hobby, stifling giggles now and then. the creek of the wooden floorboard upstairs had you immediately reaching for the gun on the wall. anticipation and anxiety had you biting the inside of your cheek. you took no time checking if it was loaded and aiming it in front of you.
you didn’t want what ever broke in to have a chance of fighting back. plus you were starving and your friend still wasn’t home. if someone had stumbled into your home and you ate them, it wasn’t you’re fault. you were just hungry.
you slowly approached the door, opening it ajar. you took the time to analyse your surroundings, turning at every corner, trying to catch whatever or whoever was in your temporary home. you turned, seeing that one of the wardrobe doors were closed, except you didn’t close it. you hadn’t even finished packing. you moved carefully towards the door, steadying your breathing. just as your hand reached for the knob you heard a harsh tap against the window.
you ran, aiming your gun towards who ever was behind the curtains. you swiped away the curtains to reveal- nothing? you cursed under your breath feeling stupid. you were told not to let anyone in. and to boarder the windows but what were the chances of someone coming in? ‘the tapping was coming from a tree? fucking unbelievable!’
you sighed in relief. if someone had actually broke in you’d be fucked.
you laughed feeling particularly silly. you sat on the creaking bed, low on energy. your senses weren’t as strong anymore and neither were your agility and strength. thank God for your chainsaw and axe and your friends rifle. you yawned closing your eyes for a brief second.
for some reason, your eyes met the same wardrobe door. an impending sense of wonder engulfed you whole with every passing second. someone was in there. you were sure of it.
you stood up to open the door, gun in hand, before you felt a huge hand from under the bed, grab your ankle, slamming you to the ground immediately. you squealed before groaning in pain.
you barely had time to react before a tall,muscular man emerged from under the bed and climbed on top of you. you tried reaching for your gun but he was too fast. he pinned both of your hands down. he revelled in watching you struggle to fight back. “ugh! let go of me, you weirdo!” you exclaimed at the stranger who held you hostage in your own cabin.
“relax, i’m not gonna kill you,” he chuckles, “i think?”
“you think?” you spat, watching his face contort into one of amusement. “get off ME, you dickhead!” your cheek stung as his hand came in contact with your soft skin.
you gasped at his horrendous action before he wrapped his long fingers around your throat. tight enough for you to see dots but not enough to knock you out. in a poor attempt to get away, you pawed at his hand. “look at you, nothing but a pathetic monster…” he sneered.
he chuckled as his eyes peered down at your watering hole, rubbing your cunt against his knee. “you’re getting off to this? what a whore,” your eyes watered from panic. “i should just kill you now, blow your fucking brains out,” he pulls out a loaded 9mm pistol and brought it to your head. “but you’re way too hot for that…” he brings the gun down to your open, gaping mouth, sliding the tip between your soft and glossed lips.
“suck.” he demands. you smirk, before opening your mouth. “ahh,” you stick your tongue out playfully.
“damn…” he gawked at your lewd face. “you like that, don’t you?” he chuckled. “shoulda known…” before you could utter another insult, his grip on your throat tightened before he lowered his hand to your clothed cunt.
“ouu, look at the way you’re dripping…” his index finger prods at your clit making you mewl. he releases your throat momentarily to take your panties off in an impatient manner. he spread your legs, watching your dripping cunt clench around the cold night air. his long fingers slide up and down, catching on your throbbing clit. you whined and squirmed silently begging for more from those slender fingers.
“what’s wrong slut?” his fingers rub gently against your clit. your hips buckled against his hand, wanting more. you started panting heavy, your juices leaking out onto the wooden flooring. “stop teasing me, if you’re gonna kill me just do it, coward!” you pleaded, before gasping sharply as he slapped your pussy.
“what did you call me?”
“a coward!” two of his fingers slid into your entrance, your legs twitching at the sudden penetration. “you know, for someone so hot, you’re way too mouthy,” his fingers start barely moving, feeling you clench and release arousal on his hand.
his other hand found its way back to your throat, before his fingers start pumping themselves in and out of your slick hole. your whines increased in pitch as his fingers started prodding at your spongy spot whilst his thumb rubs on your hot clit.
“fuck!” you whine, your hands wrapped around his large one. your hole tightens against the force of his fingers as he curls them upward. your eyes roll back, toes curling and your tongue lolled out of your mouth as you squirmed towards your close release.
“oh my gosh!” you squealed as his hands tightened around your throat. your juices continued to flow down his hand, the sticky noises and squelching resounding throughout the room. “yeah? you cummin’?” he groans watching your breathing get heavy. “yes yes yes! FUCK!”
satoru quickly pulls out his fingers before shoving them down your throat watching the way you gagged and drooled all over yourself. you whined as you tried humping his leg again. but it just earned you another slap across the face.
you had it. you were all for a nice round of rough sex but to be denied your own orgasm? it was completely propitious! you bit his hand and before he could react, wrapped your legs around his waist and flipped him over so that you were straddling him. you ripped the gun from his grasp before pointing it towards his temple. “you’re not so tough now, are you?” you giggle watching his struggle to get up. “you can stop trying to escape. otherwise i’ll have to eat you…” he stopped momentarily, keeping his pale blue eyes on yours as your cunt just continued to leak on his trousers.
“you mad cuz i was teasin’ you?” you slap that smirk off his face as he whimpers in your ear. “looks like im not the only slut here,” you subconsciously start grinding against his growing bulge. satoru started panting, his heart beat increasing as you began moving faster and harder.
your hips moved side to side, in circles, trying to bring friction to your clit. he left your cunt empty and aching for more, and now he was going to learn. satoru’s hands started fondling your tits, pinching and pulling at your nipple all while keeping eye contact.
“shit.” “yeah, you like it when i rub my pussy on you?” his leg started bouncing up and down, toes curling and mouth hung open. “you gonna cum? you gonna come for me?” you pouted at his brows furrowed and his eyes became glossy. “answer me or i’ll stop.” you slowed down to prove you weren’t playing. “wait wait, ok i’m sorry, m’so close, please don’t stop” he whined profusely. “that’s what i thought…” you sped up the movement of your hips.
“m’cumming! cum- what the fuck!” you lifted your hips and moved forward so u were laying on his chest. “don’t worry,” you placed the gun carefully beneath your heel, before reaching behind you to unzip his pants and pull down his boxers.
his hefty cock sprung out from its restraints, hitting you on your left butt cheek. precum oozed out from the tip, leaking down the side, he dick practically asking to be milked empty. “how bad d’you wan’ it?” you asked, looking down at the insignificant fool under you.
“w-what…?” he asked, squinting his eyes in confusion. “i barely touched you and you’re already fucked up, such a shame..” you kissed your teeth, swivelling around so your back was faced towards him. slowly stroking his dick in your hand, you spat on the tip, smearing it all over the sensitive and red-hot tip.
satoru groaned, bucking his hips into your hand. your hand moved smoothly up and down the length of his cock, making sure to pay close attention to the tip. “maybe i should just leave you here..” you considered, listening carefully to his reaction. you turned back around to face him. “please…”
“please, what?”
“please…put it in? i wanna feel you inside, please!”
“well, if you insist,”
you slid backwards, kneeling, stroking the tip between your sticky folds. satoru’s cock prodded at your entrance before sliding in, filling you up nicely. you both groaned in unison, your warm cunt enveloping him in pleasure. a blush covered his face, as his hips started bucking up.
he watched your face contort into pleasure as your eyes became glossy. “fuck,” he moaned, satoru’s hands found comfort on your hips as your moved up and down. the sounds on skin against skin reverberated around the room as you both moaned.
“how s’it feel?” he asks out of breath. “hnghhh…shit you’re way too tight,” he moans out.
“and you’re too big!” your mouth gapes open as you continue to bounce yourself up and down. satoru moves his hands onto your bum, spreading your cheeks apart before placing a harsh smack on your right cheek. your loud yelp was interrupted by two fingers down your throat.
you slobbered all over his fingers, eyes rolling back but never slowing down. his two wet and lubed up fingers moved to your tight and puckered hole. his two fingers teased your hole before he slide a finger carefully inside. you winced feeling particularly full.
“i’m gonna fill up both of your holes tonight,” your mind was too boggles to actually take in anything he was saying. his finger kept at the same rhythm you did when performing tricks on his dick.
“ohh fuckkk, im gonna cum!” you whine. he immediately pulls his fingers out before bringing them to your hot clit. satoru’s fingers moved firmly against it, pushing you closer to your limit. “oh yes! thank you!” you profusely thanked him, eyes watering in pure pleasure as your stomach flipped.
you started panting out loud as you fucked yourself closer to your orgasm. “yeah, there we go, there’s a good slut…” he remarks, watching and feeling your cunt tighten around him.
your body stiffens for a moment before your fall forwards, cumming hard around his heavy cock. you cry out as his fingers never fault, chest heaving in and out.
“we’re not done,” he whispered sternly into your ear. your eyes widen in shock, as he manhandles your body into the doggy position. “arch that back f’me, m’tryna see that recoil…” he says, placing his hands on the small of your back.
satoru started playing with your ass, his hands squeezing and pulling at the smooth flesh all while watching your pussy drip for more.
his dick impaled you again, this time reaching deep into your fluttering cunt. his pace was mean and absolutely insane! he basically knocked the wind out of you. “take it all,” was all he needed to say before he felt you coming close on him again.
his thumb was placed snuggly up your bum, as you jiggled against him. drool seeped from the side of your open mouth as you let out a high pitched whine, feeling his scratch against your g-spot. it was becoming too much!
you tried running away, but with the grip he had on your hips, it was merely impossible. “where you going? did i not tell you to take it all?” he punctuated his sentence with a smack across you bum watching it jiggle.
“slow down!”
“move your hand,”
you squealed, feeling his pace quicken and reach deeper, almost as if he was trying to touch your cervix. “wait! im gonna pee! pull out!” satoru simply ignored your pathetic pleas, and continued to pound your pussy.
nothing but a squeak left your mouth as you gushed and gushed around satoru, your holes spasming. your eyes were half lidded and red with tears as his hair stuck to his forehead and his eyes started tearing up.
“hnngh! i- i cantt! you’re so tight, fuck!” he moaned out shamelessly. his hot seed seeped into your slick and gooey cunt. warm cum filled you up nicely. he pulled out, watching it drop out of you.
you smiled, absolutely delirious, expecting him to clean you up. instead, you find yourself being elevated into the air in the full nelson position. he used a free hand to swipe over your battered cunt. his head then moved to the entrance on your asshole. “you ready?”
you whined in response, too fucked to say anything else. he slowly slid in, careful not to hurt you as your squirmed in his hold. the creampie from earlier made it easy for him to slide in.
it felt different? a good type of different. he waited a while before moving slowly, experimenting with different paces. “oh shit, m’so full,” you cry out as his speed increases. “yeah? got you all nice and filled up, don’t i?” he teased.
“uh huh! uh huh!” you yelled. “yes! keep goin please!”
the air was sticky and hot and felt straight up filthy. just as you felt a wave of pleasure hit you, he pulled out leaving your hole loose, before sliding it into your cunt.
his hips moved up and down making you whole body jolt. his deft hand moved to your clit and started rubbing ferociously again, bringing you closer. “im gonna make a mess again!” you babbled feeling your tummy tighten. “keep going f’me,” he groaned, getting closer and closer to his orgasm.
yours came first, hitting you like a freight train. you squealed out loud tears streaming down your cheeks and sobbing relentlessly. your eyes were closed but you could still feel him staring at where the two of you were connected. his warm cum filled you up again, making you feel nice and stretched out.
“mphm- fuck!” he whined, visible tears streaming down his cheeks from overstimulation. he dropped you on the bed and you flopped like a fish. you stayed there, recalling past events while thinking of what tell your friend when he came back. how were you going to tell you fucked a zombie hunter in his cabin?
thoughts raced in your head as you felt satoru’s gaze on the back of your neck. you turn around so your laying on your back, watching the white haired man as he peered into your soul. “what?” you asked breathlessly.
“i thought zombie’s don’t get out of breath?” he smirked, watching you roll your eyes at his foolishness.
#anime#fluff#smut#gojo saturo smut#gojo headcanons#gojo satoru smut#jujutsu kaisen gojo#jujustu kaisen smut#jujutsu kaisen#gojo satoru#gojo sensei#gojo saturo#jjk headcanons#jjk smut#jjk x y/n#jjk fanfic#jjk fic#jjk gojo
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A memory just came back to me, and idk why, but I feel like this is Adam.
When I was 14, I went down to use the family computer, only to be met with the search: Selena Gomez naked with guns. My then 11 years brother had been using the computer.
If this isn’t Adam, then I don’t know what is.
Anon I'm conflicted about this ask. I wanted to use the mcdonalds drive thru meme again but I did that yesterday.
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Why did Ch'en drop in the CN popularity poll when her alter is more powerful than her original?
Ch'en the Holungday was widely criticized by CN players when she was revealed because they were afraid that this would mark precedent for them releasing busted, tone deaf summer/holiday alts. I agree with CN.
Ch'en the Holungday is extremely busted, and not in the fun way: She's an M3 operator, that is, you only need to invest in one of her skills as opposed to two or three in order to get the most out of her, as all of her skills are pretty much the Exact Same with each skill just being outright better than the last one (this is very lazy design coming from a team that's known and praised for giving new 6*s at least 2 interesting and key skills).
Besides that, it's Ch'en, a character that has a lot of lore and that they could've done a lot more with, getting saddled with a bikini alt instead of something interesting. The summer fit could've easily just been a skin for either Guard Ch'en or whatever else they could've done with Holungday. It instead became her identity: A girl in a bikini with a water gun that completely outclasses proper combat-ready Operators in terms of firepower. It's just silly for a game that takes its lore and design as seriously as Arknights.
"But wait," you may say, "the Dossoles event explains this and that about her and the water gun and--", to be frank, all of that rings as hollow as "you see, it's VERY important for Silent to be almost naked at all times, it's essential to the lore", that is, just because a lore justification exists for something, doesn't mean it's a good one nor that it has to be accepted point blank without criticism. It's not good writing. It's a disservice to the character and to the fans.
Additionally, the original E2 art for Ch'en was low quality, with wonky proportions. She has since been fixed, but people will continue to dunk on it forever, as its become something of a meme.
So, to summarize, you end up with a tone deaf bikini Operator that is stupidly strong, brainlessly so even (even Surtr takes rubbing two braincells together at the very last, and she's as unga bunga as it gets) that requires minimum investment to absolutely wreck and that takes away a valuable opportunity from a character that is widely loved among fans, and at the moment, also served as a sort of harbinger of ill news in that if she was well received, Hypergryph might have gone ahead and made more tone deaf brainless gamebreakers and we just become Fire Emblem Heroes 2.
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