#n it's like first of all im nawt a well off cis girl. second of all she had qn actual support system n an upbringing — we didn't
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i say this with utmost seriousness i wish i was employed
#i need income so badly but im terrified of the prospects of havin 2 live independently but otherwise bein abused 2 death is the only option#:[ im so scared i wish things were easier#it doesn help when they constantly talk abt our neighbor slash childhood bestie whos jus a bit younger than us but alrdy has like#most of her life sorted out shes workin n studyin n they got her a car 4 hwr bday n she has a boyfriend n they r movin out next month#a middle class family btw with two alive parents yadda yadda. her tuition is effortlessly paid n she works on da side 4 her own expenses#n it's like first of all im nawt a well off cis girl. second of all she had qn actual support system n an upbringing — we didn't#i literally vaguely remember spendin most of our childhood n early teens over at her apartment since it was literally two steps away#they'd let us stay 4 hours cuz they felt bad 4 us n they dunno the whole story but they kno we r one of those 'unfortunate' families lol#but yeah the difference between us is night & day. it honestly feels a little crazy since we live literally on the same floor of the same#building despite the feasible differences. idk if dats a good or a bad thing#im jus tired of bein compared 2 her cuz we were failed on so many levels by everyone in our life who was supposed to care 4 us#meanwhile she's an average white blonde girl with a good life by here's standards#i wish we were still close but it became hard approaching teens... still we owr majority of our happy childhood memories 2 hangin out @ her#house or goin places w their family. it almost kinda felt like we were part of it but ik im. exaggeratin#yea idk why i ranted but um i need a job or ill die i think#mika caws
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