#my relationship w travis is odd because he's 100% got 'Queenie's Type' written all over him but man i am not his biggest fan | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

queenofbaws · 2 years

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Oh boy do i have some lyrics for you to use as inspiration if you should so choose. They're all gonna be from the song Runaway (From Myself) by Citizen Soldier (which is a super depressing song and not one I like a whole lot, but I did think that most of the lyrics were particularly genius imo)

'I didn't grow up in an abusive home I am one'

'Lately thinking feels like cutting Every thought's a razor blade'

'Wish I could run away from myself But there is no escape When you're the prison cell'

(you can pick and choose which ones you want to play with obviously lol)

at-least-but-not-exactly-six sentence sat(or)sunday!!!

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Sometimes he wished he was half as fucking stupid as Ma liked to make him feel. If he’d been stupid, all of this would be easy; it’d just be living out a movie where all the characters looked a little too familiar, a little too much like you, and instead of having to pay to sit in a theater, you could just bask in the blood and guts for free. There’d be fear, sure, but there wouldn’t be any thinking. There wouldn’t be any guilt.

But Travis wasn’t stupid. Wasn’t even close. And because of that, he knew there was a simple solution to this whole goddamn mess.

He knew they could just kill Caleb and be done with it.

It felt like just another link in the endless chain of shit luck keeping them stuck on that land, miserable and exhausted. If it had been any of them, him or Chris or Bobby, he knew damn well what the marching orders would’ve been. Hell, he wasn’t innocent of that either - if he’d known shooting Chris clean between the eyes would’ve been enough to give the kids a shot at a normal life, there wouldn’t be even a moment of doubt, of hesitation. But as it was, Caleb had been the first, and God help him, he might’ve been able scrounge up the nerve to kill his own brother, but he couldn’t kill Caleb, not when he...reminded him so much of Chris.

There was no getting out of that loop of thought once it set in, and that only ever served to make it worse. It was like being just awake enough to know you were in a nightmare and things were about to get real, real bad; once those thoughts started coming, they just didn’t stop, not until the things he knew but tried to ignore burst their way out of his chest and throat to leave him sore as a skinned knee all over.

It was his job to keep those damn kids safe, because they were his family. His blood.

He’d kill his little brother in a heartbeat, if he had to. If the right person told him to.

Family was the most important thing in the world, and nothing - nothing - mattered half as much as doing right by them.

He could kill Bobby too, he thought. He wouldn’t be happy about it, and he’d be sorry for a long, long time, much longer than if it’d been Chris, but he could do it. Depended on who was giving the order.

It didn’t matter if it took ten years, twenty years, or a hundred and five: He was going to figure out how to get Caleb and Kaylee out of this. Out of the curse, out of the woods, out of the fucking house, out of the shadow that had fermented him and his brothers like the booze collecting dust down cellar.

Worst of all, he knew there would probably come a day where Ma got tired of it. The bullshit. The running around. She’d get tired of the house not being the way she wanted it, the mess of them not behaving the way she wanted, and if she snapped her fingers, Pa sure wouldn’t stop her. If that day came...when it came...he knew he would kill Caleb. He wouldn’t have any choice.

Because family, see...family was the most important thing in the world. You listened to your family. You did what they told you was best. And you sure as shit didn’t shit around questioning their motives when that order came down the pipes.

He wished he was stupid. He wished he was the moron Ma told him he was. If he had been...he wouldn’t have to admit how hollow all that shit rang.

#love-fireflysong #six sentence weekend #queenie writes supermassive #the quarry #i am so DEEP in this hackett fic rn that ive literally hit the point where i forget like #my inCREDIBLY NICHE HEADCANONS ARE NOT WIDELY HELD SDKLFJSDKLJFKLSJF so MAN i hope this lands XDDD #my relationship w travis is odd because he's 100% got 'Queenie's Type' written all over him but man i am not his biggest fan #so obvs i must dissect him like a frog in bio to figure out WHY THAT IS

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