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short-black-diamond · 8 months

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AHHH FORK‼️‼️

(╯ಊ╰) im not a perv i swear!

I wasn’t sure what you were comfortable writing thats why i said go crazy with it =^= buuut now i know you write smut >:3 i’ll keep that in mind!

However speaking of pervs (^^ゞ

Multiple choice for you! To help fill the master list!

Pervy OM! Brothers or Perv Sahed (*ﾉ▽ﾉ)

Tehehe im so evil >:3

ฅ(• ɪ •)ฅ <- kitty cat

- 🍓

Bro I'd rather do perv Sahed 'cuz he my fave of them all

word count: 692

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Sahed the perv.

Sahed knows he shouldn't spend time in your personal chamber without your presence, but he couldn't help it. Today was laundry day, and he was just helping out!

He completely ignored the already filled basket with your clothes, instead opting to look through your drawers to look for your pantsies, but then he saw it. A set of lingerie, all black and blue, with blone stripes.

It reminded him of his colors. His blue eyes, his blonde bangs and his black hair. He felt his own breath grow ragged as he panted, fighting with the throught of touching your set or not.

He was a weak man, and imagined your boobs filling the bra instead of the structure of the metal inside of it.

Big mistake. Suddenly, the doorknob twisted, and Sahed jumped outside the window. Fortunately, the chambers were small, so Sahed only had to do two big steps before he jumped outside, and climbed upwards and to the left, where his room was.

Sahed hated himself. He hated himself that he brought your set with him. His hands couldn't let go after the satin fabric of the set, and without opening his hands, he managed to climb into his room, where he panted.

He sighed before he groaned as he sat up. So did his boner as he whimpered, but when he opened his hands, he loved himself and would just pat himself on the shoulder proudly.

That was, until you demanded a raid for every male's room because someone stole your lingerie set. He reluctingly brought it back with magic, but not before touchinf himself before handing it back anonymously.

it had some stains and you looked at the set in confusion.

...

It was a hot day today, and the circus rested near the beach for the people to have a nice beach day. That also meant that you'd be wearing that new swimsuit you've been bragging to rainah the other day, and Sahed was, well, excited.

And...he couldn't really hide his boner except sucking in his legs and when you looked at him with a raised brow, asking him if he'd like to go to the water with you, he only shook his head with a charming smile of his. "Wanna enjoy the hot sun on my skin, doll."

"But you're crouching underneath the umbrella, Sahed..", you muttered before you shrugged your shoulders and went away, effectively hurting his dick as he got a nice view of your ass and legs as you waded into the soft water.

When you came back, Sahed was still resting on his stool as he let himself get a bit tanner. You looked at the food before your hand came in contact with a light blue ice stick.

You took it into your mouth and Sahed looked at you through his sunglasses. It didn't help that all the people were eating in front of him, you sideways in front of him as you sucked and licked at the cool and sweet stick, and Sahed grit his teeth in jealousy as he glared at the treat which went in and out of your wet cavern.

He subconsciously flinched when you suddenly bit off half of it. Luckily, you mistook his reaction to having a jump scare in his dream.

...

Sahed can't help but look down at your body whenever you speak to him, because you never wear shirts or bouses which don't show your cleavages. So, he enjoys your two mounds pressed together when you hug his arm in excitement when you wan tot show him something, or when you look up at him.

you don't know that he's looking further down on your body than you think because of his three eyes, but Sahed knows where he's looking, and that's the only time where he's shameless.

He's basically having a staring contest with your tits as you ramble to him about something, and he always responds with "uh-huh", "oh no" and "that's nice" (probably at your boobies, perv😒)

and when you think he does, he just goes: "whaaaa? I'd never do that, my love." like yes you do Sahed stfu.

---

Okay that's all that I could come up with at the moment, and I've barely took half an hour to write this!

Read you in the next post!

#marionetta #marionetta x reader #sahed x reader #julia x reader #sahed x julia smut #sahed x julia fluff #sahed smut #sahed is just a big babygirl #I wanna give Sahed all the kithes in the world #sahed x you #sahed #sahed marionetta #sahed is such a handsome guy #julia smut #sahed smut #sahed the perv

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damnfandomproblems · 5 months

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4417 It's fucking heartbreaking once you notice how many of these people are queer, trans, gay themselves and are almost always trying to punch sideways at other queer, trans, gay people, be it because of performativism paranoia, or just idiocy. And how young they usually are. This harassment actually happened to me -- I didn't like a certain gay MCU ship, and one day I accidentally liked an unrelated post by a trans anti, they looked at my list of ships and saw their fave wasn't there, and they did not leave me alone for weeks because they thought I was a dirty homophobe. I had lots of gay ships on that ship page so it was all the more confusing... It gave me a severe fear of being in online queer spaces with young people because this person and all their followers had gay, trans, etc in their profiles and I developed an association. Ironically once I realized I had this fear, I was terrified that THAT made me a bigot. I'm still unable to talk with younger queer people and am only confident in online spaces with older adults.

Posting since this is a response to a previous problem.

#fandom problem 4417 #response to previous problem #knn

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davidtennantgenderenvy · 1 year

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HERE IS A COMPREHENSIVE LIST OF PROBABLY MOST OF THE STUFF I LIKE! Feel free to ask me about any of it

PERSONALITY TYPING: INFP 4w3 (471)

BOOKS: Grishaverse, Lord of the Rings, To Kill a Mockingbird, The Song of Achilles, The Prince of Tides, The House in the Cerulean Sea, Harry Potter (unfortunately), Gone With the Wind, His Dark Materials, A Far Wilder Magic, The Hate U Give, The Outsiders, The Devil and the Dark Water, They Both Die At The End, Riordanverse, Pride and Prejudice, Sense and Sensibility, Warriors

MOVIES: Titanic, Dead Poets Society, It’s A Wonderful Life, Little Women 2019, NOPE, Pan’s Labyrinth, The Sixth Sense, Terminator (especially 2), Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, The Addams Family (1991) The Shawshank Redemption, Parasite, Knives Out/Glass Onion, Tar, Harriet, Romeo and Juliet (1968), Interstellar, Forrest Gump, Schindler’s List, The Princess Bride, Get Out, Lady Bird, Silence of the Lambs, The Truman Show, The Wall, 12 Angry Men, Recovery, so so many animated movies (especially WALL-E, The Prince of Egypt, The Hunchback of Notre Dame and Howl’s Moving Castle!), SOME Marvel movies (mostly guardians and spidey)

TV SHOWS (live action): LOST, Breaking Bad, Doctor Who, Person of Interest, Good Omens, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Downton Abbey, Ted Lasso, My So Called Life, Stranger Things, Broadchurch, Alias, Sherlock, Maid, The Last of Us, Dark, Happy Valley, Takin’ Over The Asylum, The Sandman, Heartstopper, Jessica Jones, Andi Mack, The Queen’s Gambit, Derry Girls, The Office, A Series of Unfortunate Events, 1899, Mare of Easttown, Around the World in 80 Days

ANIME AND CARTOONS: Fullmetal Alchemist (both versions), Avatar, Steven Universe, Phineas and Ferb, Death Note, Assassination Classroom, Demon Slayer, Attack on Titan, Monster, Spy X Family, Ouran High School Host Club, My Hero Academia, Neon Genesis Evangelion, Toradora, Gravity Falls, The Owl House, Cowboy Bebop, Erased, Mob Psycho 100, Kotaro Lives Alone, Ducktales

MUSIC: Queen, Taylor Swift, My Chemical Romance, Adele, Jeff Buckley, Will Wood, Olivia Rodrigo, The Beatles, Billy Joel, Hozier, The Proclaimers, Mitski, Fiona Apple, Brandi Carlile, Janelle Monáe, Alanis Morrissette, Sinead O'Connor, Nina Simone, David Bowie, BTS, Stray Kids, Day-6, Kelly Clarkson; Guns N Roses, Muse, Beyonce, Lana Del Rey, Pink Floyd, Eminem, Kendrick Lamar, George Michael, Heart, Radiohead…

MUSICALS: Les Miserables, Great Comet, Ragtime, Phantom of the Opera, Hadestown, Hamilton, Wicked, Come From Away, Matilda, Falsettos, Jesus Christ Superstar, Anastasia, Evita, The Last Five Years, The Sound of Music, West Side Story, The Clockmaker’s Daughter, Ride the Cyclone, Sweeney Todd, Parade, Little Shop of Horrors, Cats, In The Heights, Into the Woods, She Loves Me, Sunday in the Park with George, Lizzie, Newsies, Bonnie and Clyde, The Secret Garden, The Wild Party, Cabaret, Putnam County Spelling Bee…(I also love Shakespeare!)

VIDEO GAMES: basically just Super Mario Bros and Undertale but boy do I love Super Mario Bros and Undertale

YOUTUBERS: Schaffrillas Productions, Cinema Therapy, The Authentic Observer, Matt Rose, PMSeymour, Katherine Steele, The Swiftologist, FilmCooper, Sideways, Anthony Fantano and too many others to mention

FAVE ROLES I’VE PLAYED: Elsa in Frozen, Morticia in The Addams Family, Mercutio in Romeo and Juliet, Iolanthe in Iolanthe, Juror #8 in 12 Angry Jurors

#not bothering with tags this is just literally for my followers/anyone who visits my page #also I didn’t want to duplicate titles by medium #Like putting LOTR in both the books and movies section #for space ya know #so if there’s a good adaptation of something on this list assume it’s on here too in spirit #LOTR are literally my favorite movies of all time but there’s more space in the book section #Same with PnP Harry Potter etc

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johannesviii · 7 months

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I know a lot about Doctor Who but nothing about magic the gathering. Can you explain what it’s deal is an rough outline for the rules and how linked to Doctor Who the main narrative of Magic is linked to? (I.e. does it add anything to Doctor Who Lore.)

also would you recommend getting into it or is it like Warhammer in that it is much to expensive for a normal everyday common person to consume (I.e. me)

The rules of Magic are quite complex when you delve deep into them, but on the surface it's quite simple actually. You have a deck of cards, and some of them are "lands", which provide "mana" (energy) when you "tap" them (turn them sideways). This mana allows you to play the other non-land cards to cast spells, summon creatures that you can "tap" to attack the opponent's life points, etc. Everyone starts with 20 life points and seven cards in hand, and draw a card at the beginning of their own turn. First person to get to zero life points (or zero cards in their deck, but that's uncommon) loses.

Magic's lore is also quite complex considering it's 30 years old at this point, but it has some similarities to Doctor Who, actually; for instance, it's a universe with various Planes with their own biomes, cultures, history, etc (think of them as different planets), and some people called "planeswalkers" can basically teleport between them as they wish, running around, causing trouble or solving it, hatching nefarious plans or just going on an adventure with some friends. Does that remind you of anything? (I'm not sure it *adds* anything to Doctor Who lore exactly, but the parallel is funny)

Ten years ago I would have recommended getting into it but it's WAY too expensive now. If you're interested in checking the game without getting your hand on real cards costing real money, I'd suggest you try playing Magic Arena, which is free to play (but has in-game purchases, so be careful about that).

One thing I still enjoy to this day despite my general dislike of WotC's practices is all the work being put into designing the various Planes and how different each of them feel. Here's Kaladesh, where steampunk meets Arabian Nights:

Kamigawa (well, the most recent version of it anyway) where japanese medieval fantasy and folklore meets cyberpunk:

And one of my recent faves, New Capenna, basically a fantasy version of the kind of city you'd see in a gangster movie set in the 1920s.

So yeah, I don't suggest getting into Magic financially, but the worldbuilding itself is pretty neat, I think

#magic the gathering #replies

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meowmeowuchiha · 1 year

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Fuck it I'm dropping my fave fics

All Naruto fics

A Second Chance by calibratingentropy

Summary: A Kisame time travel fix it. He's sent back to the day of his academy graduation upon his death. He decides to do things much differently than the first time around. Most characters are either OCs or were such side characters in Canon that we barely got scraps of personality, such as Yagura, Mei, and Ao. Wonderfully written and frankly a must for any Kisame lover imo

https://archiveofourown.org/works/45811153/chapters/115287730

Orochimama by Whoamama

Summary: When Orochimaru first attempts the Living Corpse Reincarnation Jutsu, shit goes sideways and he ends up replaced by a woman from our world. Hilarity ensues as she attempts to fix the chaotic mess that is Otogakure and save the world on top of it.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/27458050/chapters/67129078

Okay. That's Enough Lemonade Now. by Meeceisme

OC is the child of Hatake Kakashi and a Nara OC named Nara Miyu. Technically part of a series, but every one can be read as stand alone easily. An AU fix it type fic, and I adore all of the lore about the Nara, Hatake, Aburame, and even Kurama clans. The beginning is squicky, but as long as you can get past that it's a wonderful read. Same with the rest of the series, mostly the first installment. The ages are VERY squicky in the first one and it took me years to actually read these fics because of it. Either way, highly recommend..

https://archiveofourown.org/works/32294638/chapters/80049616

Plasticity by Misfit_McCoward

Hidan tries to summon a shinigami. Gets a science major college student instead. OC proceeds to have a terrible time trying to stay alive, and after winding up with Orochimaru ends up delving into ninja mad science. Eventually winds up with the Akatsuki. Unwillingly. An absolutely hilarious fic and I reread this at least twice a year. Everyone is beautifully in character.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/16017161/chapters/37377839

Honōka by Yujina

A girl from 90s Tokyo is reborn in the Naruto universe. Due to her unique viewpoint, she regularly 'breaks' jutsu and uses chakra in ways that everyone is confused as to how tf she even came up with it. She's the same age as Kakashi. Winds up Orochimaru's apprentice. Good!Orochimaru AU, or at the very least a Not Terrible!Orochimaru AU.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/26225191/chapters/63828178

Parallel by Sora2131, stacyb

Kakashi time travel fix it fic. Team 7 winds up an actual family. A wonderful story. I don't want to say too much and spoil it.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/25498318/chapters/61857256

Homemade Dynamite by Misfit_McCoward

Itadei time travel fix it fic. Except Itachi tells Deidara absolutely none of his plans and Deidara is just along for the ride. Unwillingly. Deidara is back in his 10 year old body so Itachi is like 12-13. All from Deidara's POV. Despite being a ship fic, there isn't a super heavy romantic focus which for me personally is wonderful. The OCs are wonderful and I love them, both Itachi and Deidara are wonderfully in character. Another fic I reread like twice a year.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/27201637/chapters/66442810

Shinobi Isekai!: Round Three! by Morrowyn

A trans girl wakes up in the Naruto universe in the body of Choumei's jinchuuriki (before Fuu) in the midst of escaping from Takigakure. Winds up living in a ruined temple in the middle of nowhere. Accidentally befriends passing ninja.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/27205340/chapters/66452216

Second Bite at the Cherry by Sakinthra

Sakura decides she's going to be useful to her teammates in a different way. Things spiral out of control. Hidan is a protagonist, but he's still in character (still a gleefully murderous zealot. I love him). Builds up Jashinism as a religion very well and I adore it. A fic I reread at least once a year.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/15001781/chapters/34770497

The Bloody Oracle of Kiri by Cannibalisticapple

OC with a very fucked up moral compass is reborn in Naruto during the third shinobi war and is picked up by Kiri. Specifically by the seven swordsman. Specifically specifically by Ameyuri Ringo. Absolutely wonderful and with plenty of hilarious moments along with more serious moments. I tend to reread this at least once a year.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/13788408/chapters/31696218

The Unwoven Threads of Fate by Diadru

OC is reborn in Naruto universe and winds up replacing Naruto on Team 7. Befriends Sasuke and they wind up BOTH going to Orochimaru. Shit goes wildly wrong. Everyone is wonderfully in character, but there are a couple slightly OOC moments. The name of the MC can definitely break immersion, but as long as you can get past that it's great. Gets very angsty at times, understandably so, as the MC gets thrown headfirst into several moral crises and being around Orochimaru is not exactly conducive to staying a 'good' person. I reread this one about once a year usually. WARNING: ENDS ON A MASSIVE CLIFFHANGER AND HAS NOT BEEN UPDATED SINCE 2019.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11943924/0/

Seven by Shaydrall

Sasuke, Naruto, and Sakura wake up in their bodies the day of team assignments. It was not done intentionally and none of them know about the others. A time travel fix it and it's absolutely hilarious.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13054671/0/

#naruto #Naruto fanfic #My recommendations #In case it's not obvious by going through these I'm not big on romance lmao

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mvshortcut · 10 months

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Ranking every time the Ten Men get taken down by how cringe fail they are (Part 2)

Warning: this post contains major spoilers for Riddle of Ages!

We're back again already, folks. Part 1 is here; now it's time for round 2 of some good old pointing and laughing.

Book 4: The Riddle of Ages

first appearance of my problematic faves the Katz brothers! There's always gotta be one cowardly goon in the lot, and the Scaredy Katz fulfill their role admirably. This knockout isn't too cringe-worthy, although the dramatic "Now!" [immediately gets knocked out] is quite comical, as well as the image of him trying to run on his knees. 3/10

And here we have Garrotte being painfully average once again. Although this one is made more interesting by the fact that he and Sharpe apparently jumped some random businessmen on the street and stole their completely normal briefcases, then had the audacity to be surprised when said completely normal briefcases didn’t hold up well in a combat scenario. It’s almost as if they’re designed to hold paperwork, not fend off a flurry of tranquilizer darts. Who would’ve thunk. Also. You could literally walk into any Home Depot and find dozens of items more suited for this purpose, which the Ten Men easily could’ve done if they weren’t so darn committed to the stonks bit.

Also, “Most unfair! Such shoddy materials!” is the funniest possible thing you could say upon getting knocked out. It’s giving “trust fund kindergartener encounters Crayola crayons during art class for the first time ever.” Please just say “god damn it” like a normal person. 4/10

See this one is so funny to me. You're telling me that the infamous shock watches, which have terrorized several of our beloved characters over the course of the series, can be defeated simply by doing simple gymnastics? it's giving "show Sticky doing long division in his head to defeat Curtain's infamous Happiness brainwashing." Also, you're telling me you can knock out people simply by throwing darts at them? wild. anyways. I love Katz getting knocked out mid-threatening leap. 5/10

diversity win! Milligan won't kill you but he isn't above shooting you in the ass! 7/10

sorry this is so long but we need the full context to appreciate how cringe this is. imagine you brought five (5) of your best men to locate SQ Pedalian, a young adult not particularly skilled in combat, and also to fight a teenage girl. And now it's gone so sideways that you're literally the last one left standing. Standing, on top of an ice cream truck that you pushed on top of your opponent, who is now trapped beneath and yet has his hands casually laced behind his head as if he's tanning on the beach. And you got tricked into standing there, pinned by an empty gun, and simply watching while he loads darts into the (previously empty) gun. And now he's just shooting a bunch of empty darts at you, one after another, while you have to stand there and wait for him to finally knock you out. I think I would disintegrate on the spot. Also "You wouldn't shoot me in the face. That's not your style" bestie you just watched him shoot Sharpe in the ass. Would you prefer that instead? 9/10

This one might take the cake. First of all, they all fell for the trap, so now they're stuck in jail again like 3 days after escaping. And then, the teenage girl you've been terrorizing for years finally turns your stupid condescending pet names right back on you before a nine year old uses her mind powers to make you knock yourself out with your own weapon. 🫵 CRINGE. 10/10

Still very cringe, though less so than McCracken. It's kinda funny that Constance made them use their shockwatches instead of the (less painful) handkerchiefs. 6/10

Y'know, given the Katz brother's astounding loser energy, I'm amazed that they might actually have the least cringe take down. Taking the coward's way out. I respect it. Love them staring out the window. sad tigger gif here. Bonus points for ratting out Crawlings for being awful. 1/10 and two gold star stickers for them both

And, finally, for the grand finale, our favorite cringe boy is back:

Crawlings is making up for having fewer appearances in this book by making his COUNT. and YIKES. I literally have to step away every time I read this. From the supervillain monologue, to everyone groaning at him and then simply ignoring him (knowing what's about to happen), to Crawlings immediately poisoning and temporarily paralyzing himself the SECOND he gets a chance to be the Final Girl. And then he gets thrown back into jail. Plus the fact that he's on the floor about to pass out still wondering when the "Genius Serum" will kick in. uhhh. y'know, Crawlings, I might not be a genius either, but I have the slightest inkling that all may not be going according to plan. 11/10

And there we have it folks! The final rankings are:

Hertz: 6

The Katz Brothers: 9

Garrotte: 14

Sharpe: 22

McCracken: 35

And, in first place, with 36 points, our beloved Crawlings.

In conclusion,

#I put way too much time into this #I was surprised McCracken and Crawlings were so close #McCracken gets taken down less frequently but that means his are so much more cringe-worthy #the mysterious benedict society #tmbs #crawlings #mccracken #sharpe #garrotte #hertz #the katz brothers #ten men #the ten men

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blurglesmurfklaine · 1 year

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ROUND ONE MASTERPOST

HELLO FRIENDS! So idk about you but I love Klaine Fanfiction and I love polls so I decided to start a little tournament of so-called "Fandom Classics" for funsies because this is tumblr and there are no rules here

Below, you will find all the links to the round one polls. All matches were decided randomly via a random number generator because I hate making decisions!

Each Round will last a week, to reach the highest sample number possible, and to give those who wish to read some time to do so. (If I could make the poll length a month I would tbh). Try to reblog the polls so that more people see them! The fic with the most votes will move on to the next round until there's one left!

DISCLAIMERS:

1. This is NOT me trying to pit fics against one another! I think all these stories are fantastic in their own right, and it goes without saying that if you have any negative comments about the story or its contents, you keep them far, far away from my posts and the wonderful authors of these amazing stories.

2. If your fave isn't on here I'm sorry! These are just a combination of ones I knew off the top of my head, and if I didn't know them, I asked friends and tumblr and stopped at 16 because I am BAD AT MATH and that was the easiest number for me. It's really just the luck of the draw and please remember that I am one random person on the internet and not the end all be all indicator of what constitutes "good" fiction. I'm sure there are plenty AMAZING stories I may have unintentionally left out.

3. Keep it positive! I know I said something akin to this above but I feel it needs reiterating lol. If this tournament offends you or sparks any sort of negative feelings withing your soul... lowkey I don't wanna hear it lmao. I worked really hard on the graphics, collecting the fic links, making the polls, etc so if you don't have anything nice to say, save that shit for the group chat lmao

ROUND ONE LINKS:

Match One: Little Numbers vs Crema Verse Match Two: Where There's Smoke vs All the Other Ghosts Match Three: Go Your Own Way vs Dalton Match Four: A Political Romance vs The Sidhe Match Five: Heartstrings Verse vs Symphony Verse Match Six: Swingsets and Sandboxes vs Catch Me If You Can Match Seven: Ride vs Sideways Match Eight: Someone Like You vs Syrup and Honey

HAVE FUN!

#klaine #glee #klaine fanfiction #klaine fandom classic fic tournament

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wheredidhiseyebrowsgo · 2 years

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Heyo I love your blog.

I was wondering if you could recommend your fave AU fics. You always know the best ones. Any Stiles Ships if possible, bonus points if it's Sterek/Steter/Stargent or Stetopher.

Thanks x

Yeah! I worked really hard re-reading my fav fics just for you. Enjoy.

Sideways and Slantways and Longways and Backways by hologramophone

(1/1 I 7,799 I Teen I Sterek)

“I called you a slave-driver!” Stiles cried hysterically. “I called you an ogre! I stole all the blue paperclips!” Derek raised an eyebrow at him. “That’s company property!” he shouted, waving his arms madly in distress. Derek ran a hand over his face. “It’s not theft if the vice president of the company gives you permission.” (Otherwise known as the Elevator AU)

cool story, bro by drunktuesdays

(1/1 I 13,087 I Explicit I Sterek)

“FUUUUUUCK, is it a sweet valley high situation where Stiles is very aware that his twin is way more attractive and confident than he is, EVEN THOUGH THEY'RE IDENTICAL, and he always ends up with the hotter significant others and more friends and Stiles guesses that's why he's attracted to the pack at first, because it's something that's just his, not his twin's too. But of course, Stiles's twin gets bit and now he's part of Derek's pack, and Derek doesn't snap at him like he snaps at Stiles, never slams him into things, fucking FIGURES, STILES'S TWIN GETS EVERYTHIIIIIIIING.”

Darling It Is No Joke by thehoyden

(1/1 I 13,250 I Explicit I Sterek)

The first thing Stiles thinks when he opens the door is that it’s not his birthday, but someone has sent him some kind of cop stripper.

Bones Straining Under the Weight by weathervaanes

(1/1 I 15,645 I Explicit I Sterek)

One of Stiles' favorite things about life is Derek Hale's food blog. He never expects to meet the man in person.

“Derek,” he says again, and the name feels very strange on his tongue. “You don’t mean Derek Hale.”

His professor’s eyebrows reach up, eyes widening. “You read his blog?”

"Uh. Worship. Would be a better more descriptive word. That is Derek Hale?"

Jimmy chuckles. "Good-looking guy, huh?"

"You mean to tell me the Food Network hasn't snatched him up to dethrone everyone else from daytime TV."

Jimmy smiles a small private smile. "I don't think TV is his medium."

Stiles raises an eyebrow. "Shy?"

The man laughs heartily at that. "No, I wouldn't say that. He just has particular forms of expression, like eyebrows and chili powder."

Fireman Derek's Crazy Pie [Cheeseburger Baby] by owlpostagain

(1/1 I 17,698 I Teen I Sterek)

“He can't blame me for the fact that I live in a building full of people united in the singular effort to ogle Hot Fireman as often as humanly possible."

Laura laughs, loud and echoing in the empty restaurant.

"Hot firemen can make a girl do crazy things," she agrees, nodding towards her brother's name on the menu. "Derek won't let me date anyone from his company, but that doesn't mean I can't appreciate the eye candy."

"Send them my way," Stiles suggests, finally loading up a forkful of pie. "Apparently I'm incompetent enough that I need to be babysat at all times, because it would be cheaper than dispatching a truck every time I try to use a kitchen appliance."

Binomial Coefficients by DevilDoll

(1/1 I 20,783 I Teen I Sterek)

In which brainy freshman Stiles Stilinski wants star quarterback Derek Hale to join the math team, AKA math nerds in love.

Stilinski's Home for Wayward Wolves by owlpostagain

(1/1 I 35,197 I Teen I Sterek)

“At least your puppies knock first,” Stiles snorts. “Here I thought their alpha raised them to be well-mannered.”   

“There’s a sign,” Derek responds stiffly.   

Stiles, whose curiosity outweighs even his hardest of grudges, abandons his chilly façade of nonchalance in a heartbeat. He jumps right up and all but pushes Derek out of the way in his effort to get to the window, and sure enough when he leans outside there’s a laminated strip of cardstock duct taped to the vinyl siding:   

DON’T FORGET TO KNOCK Stiles gets cranky when we scare him

---

Or, in which Stiles Stilinski moves to Beacon Hills for his junior year of high school and accidentally adopts a pack of teenage werewolves.

Cornerstone by Vendelin

(6/6 I 83,738 I Explicit I Sterek)

Suffering from PTSD, ex-Marine Derek Hale moves back to Beacon Hills to open a bookshop and find a calmer life. That’s where he meets Stiles, completely by accident. Stiles is talkative, charming and curious. Somehow, despite the fact that he’s blind, he’s able to read Derek like no one else.

Gravity's Got Nothing on You by zosofi

(11/11 I 83,979 I Explicit I Sterek)

“Three weeks,” Derek says.

“Still don’t want to,” Stiles says.

“I’ll pay you,” Derek says, and that… that has Stiles interested. Alf’s Antique’s may be a great job, but it’s not a high-paying job, and half of Stiles’s tuition is coming from financial aid, so…

“How much,” Stiles asks, “are we talking here? Because I know your family, dude. And it’ll be kind of awkward after.“

“My family thinks you’re some sort of fucking gift to the world,” Derek seethes, like he’s jealous, “they’ll probably be pissed at me when we break it off, so don’t worry about that. Five hundred bucks.”

“A thousand,” Stiles says, because screw ethics. Also, the Hale family is loaded. Derek can deal.

#teen wolf #sterek #stiles stilinski #derek hale #anastasia review #magic!stiles #fake/pretend relationship #twin!stiles

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softguarnere · 2 years

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hey, your soft!boys are just incredible, I enjoy reading each of your fics with them 😳

the last one with babe is just uhhh 😫❤️

never paid much attention to him and now he's deffo one of my top ten favorite.

I would like to request something soft as well. you know my fave, but the pairing choice is yours :)

prompts:

' does it hurt? ' from here (said by reader)

' i don’t have perfect words. i’m not the kind of person who knows how to sound poetic and shit. so all i know what to tell you is that i belong to you. i don’t know if you want me. but i’m yours. and at this point however it is you need me, i’m here. ' from here (said by an easy guy)

Hoping That There's Something Coming (It's Not the Same)

Bill Guarnere x reader

A/N: Hi love! I'm so glad you like them, because I really enjoy working on those requests :) I had originally planned to write this for Joe, but once I got going with it, it just kinda ended up going in a completely different direction -- I hope you don't mind! Thank you for another great request, and I hope you enjoy this (As always, this is written for the fictional depiction from the show -- no disrespect to the real life veterans!) 💕🕊️

Warnings: Hospitals, mentions of war, language, injury

Back home in the States, a clean, sterile smell would greet you whenever you walked into a doctor's office or hospital; a potpourri of bleach and gauze and medicine. Looking back, you're not sure what you expected, but the field hospital is nothing like that.

You knew that you were one of the lucky ones -- how could you not, when it seems like all anyone talks about is their various scrapes and wounds and purple hearts -- but even with all the horror stories your friends had relayed to you, you didn't think the aid stations and hospitals would be so dismal.

"You've really never been in one of these before?" Doc Roe shoots you a sideways glance when you stop near the doorway, the sights and smells of the place freezing you in your tracks as you take it all in. When you don't move, he steps back towards you and gently touches your elbow, trying to ground you. "Hey, we can go back to the line if you need to. Not everyone can stomach this type of thing; there's no shame in it."

The misery and pain that fills the place isn't what's stopped you in your tracks. You've seen plenty of that in combat, and it's really nothing new.

No, what makes you stop is the cold that runs down your spine when the realization hits you: Bill is staying in this awful place.

"No." You push your shoulders back, determined. "No, I need to see him. To know that he's okay."

Doc searches your face. Whatever he's looking for, he must find it, because a second later the crease between his brows smooths out and he nods, leading you further into the hospital.

Your stomach is a stormy sea of nerves the further you go. You hadn't heard from or seen Bill since they rushed him and Toye away from Bastogne, and every day with no update made you fear the worst. It had been kind for Doc to offer to bring you to him, but now that you're here, some kind of worry washes over you. What if there's a reason that you haven't heard anything yet?

All at once, Doc stops in front of a bed. The man lying in it -- Joe, it takes you a minute to realize -- glances up, but then his eyes catch on you, and one of his reserved but playful smiles lights up his face.

"Well, if it isn't the fiercest lil' paratrooper in the PIR. You finally get hit, (Y/N)?"

Relief starts to poke its way through the worry you had been feeling, slowly, and then it rushes over you, like ink spilling onto a piece of paper. Toye and Guarnere had been some of your best friends since Toccoa. Watching them get hit was hard, and half of your worry was admittedly from wondering what had happened to them when they were taken off the line. But if Joe is back to teasing you, then maybe . . .

"Hey, Joe. How they treating you?"

At the sound of your voice, the man in the next bed over looks up from a piece of paper he had been mulling over. Disbelief clouds Bill's face, briefly, and then he smiles, wading up the paper like it hadn't been bothering him just a moment before.

"Well, at least it's not cold here," Toye says, forever putting up a tough front.

"Yeah, whole lot warmer with you here now, Sunshine," Bill adds.

You laugh at the teasing, if only to chase away the lump that starts to build in your throat at the sight of your friends. They're injured, but they're alive, and you're together again. There are so many things that you want to tell them, but where to start? All you really want to do is magically reverse things back to the way they used to be, before that awful shelling that --

"You wanna sit down and visit with us?" Joe asks. His brow is furrowed; he's always been better at reading his friends than most people give him credit for. He shifts his remaining leg so that you can sit on the edge of the bed, seated between him and Bill so that you can talk to them both.

The good thing about strong friendships is that they can almost always pick up where they left off. Even after everything that has happened, soon the three of you are joking around and exchanging gossip as if it's any other day. It only ends when Joe grunts, his face screwing up in pain as he takes in a sharp breath.

Doc Roe is in Medic Mode in a second. "What do you need, Joe? You want me to get a nurse?"

Things are different now, the cloud that falls over the mood after that seems to say. A nurse administers something for the pain, and then Joe can't keep his eyes open very well -- he drifts off into the kind of sleep that he hadn't been able to afford while on the line, though he wears a pensive expression on his face, even in sleep. It's similar to the expression that Doc Roe has been making lately -- the one he makes when the nurse leads him off and has him start helping with other patients.

Bill pats his own bed. "You can sit over here so that we don't wake him up." Something on his face changes, like he's said something that he shouldn't have. "I mean, if you wanna stay, that is."

"Of course I do." You change seats, trying to ignore the jittery feeling that replaces your heartbeat when you sit next to him. Wild Bill Guarnere has always had that effect on you, but for the sake of the war and your friendship, you've never acted on those feelings.

Well, there was the time back in England where you both had a little too much to drink and kissed each other, but neither of you ever talked about what that meant.

And now you won't; Bill will be shipped back home to Philly, and you back to the line.

You try to chase the thought from your head. All you can do now is enjoy the present moment while it lasts. It was so much easier when you had Toye and Roe as part of that moment, though.

"Does it hurt?" As soon as the words are out of your mouth, you regret them, even though Bill doesn't seem to mind.

"Yeah, sometimes. I think some of it is just the getting used to it."

"I worried about you, you know," you admit. "I don't really remember it, but apparently I tried to chase after you and Toye when they hauled you off. Somebody had to hold me back while the Jeeps drove away."

Bill chuckles. "We just can't stop being a package deal, huh?"

The sound of crinkling paper draws your attention as Guarnere moves the piece of paper he had waded up when you came in.

"Bad news from the homefront?"

"What? Oh, no. Just . . . trying to get it right. It's hard to put thoughts on paper in this place. I'm no Webster."

"Thank God for that." You want something else to say, but it's like grasping at straws. God, why was it so much easier before? Bill is your friend and you should be able to talk to him. Something about knowing that he's leaving though, and that you'll still be in Europe, without him, without many of your other friends, causes a rising since of panic that's so heavy it could crush your chest. "You'd be a good writer, though. You always have something witty to say. I miss having that back at the line."

He snorts. "Being quick and being able to write something coherent aren't the same. If it were I --"

The way he stops himself catches you off guard. It's like someone slamming on the breaks in a car before you can figure out why you've stopped. For a second it looks like maybe he'll stay quiet, but Bill Guarnere has never been able to stop himself from speaking his mind.

"Ah, fuck it." He smooths out the waded up paper and sighs. "You remember the night we kissed?"

Now you feel like you've been hit by the metaphorical car. "Yes."

"I've been thinkin' about it a lot." You have, too -- you haven't stopped thinking about it since it happened, if you're being honest -- but you let him continue. "Because it's kind of hit me, ya know? I thought that I would have more time. But now the war is over for me. And you've got to keep fighting. Anything could happen when we're an ocean apart."

It would be so easy to get your hopes up. You brace yourself, waiting to see which direction he will take.

"I tried to write you a letter, but . . ." He frowns at the wrinkled paper like it's personally offended him. "I don’t have perfect words. I’m not the kind of person who knows how to sound poetic and shit. So all I know what to tell you is that I belong to you. I don’t know if you want me. But I’m yours. And at this point however it is you need me, I’m here." He sighs, not meeting your eyes. "I just needed to get that off my chest before I have to go home."

"Oh my God," you whisper for lack of any other reaction that would be appropriate for a hospital. Anywhere else, you would have grabbed him and kissed him even harder and longer than the night back in England. Instead, you take his hand and bring it up to your mouth so you can kiss his knuckles. "You may be wild, Bill, but if I would trust anyone with my heart, it's you."

He finally meets your eyes, and they light up with his smile. A real, genuine smile that could chase away the gloom of the hospital around you. He leans back on his bed pillows, his smile so bright and real and reminiscent of a time before you were separated. "God, I wish that you could come back to Philly with me."

"Everything is different now," you agree. Your chest feels warm, and it easily gives way to hope, which brings an idea. "After the war, then. And we'll write to each other every day before then."

He nods. On the bed, your hands are still intertwined. He brings them up to kiss the back of yours, but he's still smiling so hard that his teeth bump your knuckles. "If I can read your handwriting," he teases, just like he usually would.

Bastogne changed everything, you realize. But some things remain the same. Either way, it feels good, in the end.

#lyrics from songs on my Spotify playlists once again coming through to provide me with fic titles #bill guarnere #bill guarnere x reader #band of brothers #band of brothers x reader #band of brothers fanfic #band of brothers imagine #my writing #joe toye #eugene roe

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connorinabeanie · 1 year

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Leo for the ask game

♥!

Ooooh Leo~

1: sexuality headcanon

Leo is bi but I feel like he’s only dated women or feminine presenting people so far. Whether that’s because he can’t pick anyone else up or hasn’t tried, who knows lol.

2: otp

Someone who won’t take his nonsense, which unfortunately we don’t know anyone yet who would fit this role and who might be interested in him. There’s some really cute potential post-canon though, especially if he’s turning his life around and is learning from his mistakes like he seems he is; maybe he’d even end up with an android?

3: brotp

I really love the idea of Leo and Markus reconciling and being a literal brOTP. Leo would be so annoying and Markus would just begrudgingly tolerate him out of politeness but then they slowly bond and form a true ‘I hate you but no one else is allowed to look at you sideways’ sibling-type relationship.

4: notp

Markus; although I do see why people might ship this and the potential there, it’s very much not for me just because of their situation/how their relationship was to start off with. I think they’re just way better all around as a brOTP.

5: first headcanon that pops into my head

Leo owns so many beanies, but also so many scarves. He’s a scarf guy. A scarf and beanie guy. And he’s totally unabashed about it too, and may even switch beanies or scarves in the same day depending on his mood.

6: favorite line from this character

I really like his apology to Carl in the answering machine. It feels so sincere in both tone and words, especially the “It turns me into someone I hate” line. Very nice character moment and acting/writing in general.

7: one way in which I relate to this character

He absolutely doesn’t shy away from stating his issues clearly and upfront, which is something I’ve recently taken to doing and honestly it works really well if the person you’re talking to is willing to listen. It was no mystery at all what Leo’s real issues were, but unfortunately he was right in that it was easier for Carl to tell him to go away than to listen.

8: thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character

He has exactly zero chill like my dude you are a grown man, control yourself. I know it’s hard to actual judge early on since he’s on red ice but omg the little gestures he makes when he’s saying ‘I’m not perfect like this thing’ or whatever it was are just like stop.

9: cinnamon roll or problematic fave?

Yet another problematic fave, though I think he’s branded way more problematic than he is (though thankfully fandom opinion seems to be coming around on him.) I can’t believe I’ve had to see, with my own two eyes, people actually try to argue that Leo is a worse person than Todd like... wtf...

#detroit become human #ask and answer #dbh leo #leo manfred #leo is my poor little meow meow #I should think about him more than I do #and come up with more headcanons and such #because I do think he's a very interesting character #and one that shows a lot of growth #with very little screen time #and it's genuine growth too it seems!#not forced or like #oh you listened to my sob story guess I won't have you killed #TODD

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starvinginbelair · 9 months

Text

the loveliest time reaction

anything to be with you: it sure is…something. a Way to open the album. i think it’ll have to grow on me the way shy boy had to grow on me tbh. sort of falls into the dedicated trap of very repetitive choruses. love the bridge.

kamikaze: she hasn’t even said a word and i already love it. this is the album’s talking to yourself omg it’s SO good already. wasn’t expecting that chorus from the verse build up but i don’t hate it tbh. i love the funky synth bass beneath everything. lyrical content on point too. already hearted and i am so prepared to add it to ascension tier once i listen to it more.

after last night: this is an interesting synth at the beginning. i like it but i need to hear how the chorus opens up. feels a little like there’s a lot of build up for no release. like a blocked dam music wise, with the driving beat but no relief/resolution with the chorus. i kinda dislike it but maybe it’ll grow on me ://

aeroplanes: i like this, kind of reminds me of the middle section of the loneliest time (far away, sideways, etc.) the funeral line caught me off guard. i think once this one is heard in the headphones, i’ll appreciate it more. it’s really a pretty track though. love the semi-spoken word out to/bridge

shy boy: had to grow on me a lot but now i bop to it so much, like it’s so fun!!! i love the synth behind everything and the lyrics paint such a picture.

kollage: beautiful. just how it flows over you like a river. sounds like lo-fi study music but like in a good way. you can tell it’s personal lyrically and just listening to it makes you feel calm. it almost makes me want to cry just because of how like safe and warm fuzzies it makes me feel but also horrible sadness at the same time

shadow: was not expecting that lmao. i like it in theory but man the whiplash from the last song to this one is crazy. def her most sonically ambitious and experimental lp so far. oh the chorus kind of goes off but i need it to OPEN UP more musically.

psychedelic switch: why is it giving like grown up version of this kiss sonically !!!!! i really like it but wow that driving beat is so reminiscent of the kiss album. the lyrics are going off though and if i could listen and analyze them better i would lmao. feel like i could shake ass to this eventually, when i listen to it better. bridge eats. outro is giving bad remix from the early 2010s though

so right: OH I WAS SO RIGHT FOR CLAIMING THIS ONE!!! already one of my faves on the album. the production is so pretty on this one and it makes me want to dance. it’s just kind of classic carly rae jepsen pop. going to love it even more after multiple listens i think.

come over: the loneliest time (song) + beach house combination. another example of just classic carly rae jepsen pop: danceable with good lyrics and enthusiasm. another favourite of mine on the album so far, love the post-chorus guitar lick. just brilliant and so is this song!!!! might be my fave.

put it to rest: so alt rock and alternative. honestly giving me some johnny orlando vibes. til i met you specifically. seems like an interlude of sorts. will grow on me but i like how stripped down it is and just focuses very simply. love the use of the driving best but it is a tad overused in this song

stadium love: it’s sounds like fight song by rachel platten interpolated. i love the message though and one i’m revisiting. this will go so hard life with the chorus and what not. it makes me smile how amazing it is tbh, what a great closing track. it’s so fun and makes me so happy.

weekend love - bonus track: and what an end!!!! so fun and funky, dancy. giving talk fast by 5SOS ahhhhh but i lowkey love that. definitely a grower! i can see myself defending this one day. pretty sounding too.

love the new album, can’t wait to dig into it more!

#q speaks #album reaction #carly rae jepsen

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oodlyenough · 9 months

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I finished Oxenfree II after, I dunno, maybe four or five short sessions of play. I had intended to replay the first game beforehand, but ran out of time before release, lol.

Thoughts (spoilers for all of both games):

I enjoyed 2, but I can't say I enjoyed it nearly as much - if I had, it wouldn't have taken me a week and change to play through, I think.

The art was gorgeous as always, perhaps moreso. They made small QOL improvements that I appreciated hugely, like the map getting marked up, the task list, and ESPECIALLY the little icon telling me if the dialogue would continue when I walked to a new part of the map. The climbing was simple, but fun enough. I deeply appreciated the ability to change the font and text size of the speech bubbles, because I found the default hard to read on.

Some parts were spooky - loved the community centre turning sideways, etc, some good jump scares, the dreamscape stuff was cool. Loved the idea of the time bubbles you got to walk into, and how that was used in puzzles (albeit quite sparingly).

Some less positive stuff:

I liked Riley fine, and Jacob was ok, but that's about... all I felt. They both felt a bit like placeholder characters. I think there is just not as much immediate pathos generated by "two coworkers" as there was between Alex and Jonas, stepsiblings meeting for the first time who both have a lot of baggage.

I also think having a majority of the support NPCs be voices on the radio was a mistake. I enjoyed those conversations, but I had to be reminding myself to check in, and it all felt a bit remote. As Alex, I felt responsible for the whole group, even when I wanted to throw Ren or Jonas or Clarissa off a tower because they were infuriating me. There were different personalities, and also that meant there were different character dynamics to explore and combos you could play with in replays. The NPCs interacted with each other as well as Alex and the player had to manage all of it. Riley felt like she was the centre of a lot of single spoke relationships.

Also, while the parenting as a theme is fine, it's just... inherently going to be kind of remote to me, I guess, as a childless woman with no interest in being a mother. VS I felt the first game dealt with grief in a way I found more accessible, despite never having lost a sibling (or indeed having any siblings to lose, lol).

After the buildup with Parentage (and stories of burning people?!?!), I felt disappointed they were just a hippie uwu cult.

The Alex reveal was my fave, and my interest piqued once we knew she was involved. I see people are a bit mixed on her involvement but honestly I loved it, lol. The downside was introducing her meant I was like "ok, will there be a choice between saving Alex or saving Riley/Camena/etc?" and I knew I would choose Alex no question.

Not quite what happened! I was fairly satisfied with my ending, which was:

-befriend Jacob, but leave him behind (I was worried about Athena! lol)... it was a little unfortunate that Jacob and Riley felt a bit distant as a result, but I loved Riley and Alex getting alone time, so whatever. -leave Olivia to the ghosts

The problem with the sacrifice decision was I did not feel the game gave me any compelling reasons to save Olivia, outside of "Olivia is a teenager so you have a duty of care". Sure, in real life I think letting a depressed teenager go into the void with her ghost parents is a bad call -- but this is a story, and in this story, they have done nothing concrete to make me the player feel attached to Olivia, as compared to how I feel about Riley and Alex, two characters I've now spent hours with. Perhaps I'd have sacrificed Jacob if he was around, but... he wasn't, lol. And maybe not! Because I the player have reason to like Jacob, and no reason to like Olivia.

In the first couple scenes with Rex, I thought perhaps he was Riley's child who had died, and that the death was part of why Riley in present day was a mess and an alcoholic with minimal relationships etc. In retrospect, I think that could have been a very interesting device. The downside I suppose would be that there would then be no reason for Riley not to stay in the void with Rex, making the end dilemma moot.

Still, it was rewarding to see Alex and co leave the island. The game prompts you-as-Riley to be mad at her, but lmao, it's Alex, it's my girl, I don't care. I also thought it was sweet that they had Clarissa as the one who lingers for her. Aw.

Overall, I would give this maybe a 7/10... I don't regret buying or playing it, but I don't feel compelled to replay and try other routes. Oxenfree 1 on the other hand I've played probably 6-8 times and will continue to play again every year or so when it gets dark and cold and spooky outside.

#oxenfree #oxenfree 2 #oxenfree 2 spoilers

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eddiediaaz · 10 months

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hi hi! I’ve seen your posts recently about Stick Season, and I’m curious for your thoughts on “growing sideways”. Specifically, would you like to join my (so far) one person campaign to make this the official Eddie Diaz depression/repression anthem??? 😆💜 I feel like So Much of those lyrics are very Eddie.

oh my godddd it's literally one of my faves from the album!! it is VERY eddie, but also VERY maddie, i was even thinking of doing a maddie gifset with the lyrics. but now that you mention eddie, i'm tempted to do both not gonna lie sdfkdsfjbdsf. this song and halloween make me go batshit insane it's too relatable

#alie replies #luredin #noah kahan

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skayafair · 1 year

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Was that Yellow in the end?..

I was kinda glad to hear normal and familiar intonations instead of the ones we hear from John lately buuuut. Revenge? Mah boy, this isn't the path. I hope it goes sideways somehow because it's just dull and I don't want my fave to go down this way. Also, what are the logistics??? Did we have a whole KIY trown back into Arthur instead of just John? That would have been hilarious actually, and serves as at least some explanation on how Yellow can exist separately from John (and Arthur's reading of him is better than he thinks).

Why was Kayne so generous? Did they have another talk and a deal with John before the latter came back to Arthur?

Also I reeeeaaally like their conversation and what it implies. I'm not sold on the whole "John is a big bad malevolent liar" because let's be honest, he's bad at this. He can't stomach for the love of it when Arthur thinks better of him than what he actually is, he nearly spilled the truth and barely kept it.

And Kayne may supply whatever reasons he likes, he's rarely wrong but also isn't entirely right on this matter.

So I think there's either a condition John has to fulfill or it's simply his wish to get a body and LIVE, together with his fear of the dark world and a desperate determination to never return there whatever it takes. (Which is why I'm adamant they'll end up there sooner or later and maybe it's going to be a good thing in the end. Also since he won't be there alone anymore, he may reconsider whether it's actually as scary as it used to feel, and there we'll have some character growth).

I'm glad Arthur's questioning his actions regarding Uncle and whether he's a good person, and that maybe jail is what they deserve, because no, he isn't - but, as John said, he's striving to, - and yes, they do. Really bad things start to happen when a person is 100% confident in their righteousness. Arthur's still critical of himself, so far so good.

And the next location is New-York, then. I'm curious how it'll be - so far each location had a unique tone to it, the way action goes was different each time.

Also I sense a new divorce incoming. They're both lying about trust rn (albeit in different ways and for different reasons) and it's audible. This just can't NOT detonate :D

Also John, stop fucking trying to be good and be yourself. As scary as it is. This is in half for myself.

#malevolent spoilers #masked #malevolent podcast #ep 28

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sharkface-daydreams · 1 year

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5 works :3 ship opinion bingo: sharkface/felix, sharkface/locus, sharkface/price, sharkface/carolina, and sharkface/kimball

So many shark ships, is this my birthday??? lol

Let's start with my main otp of all time ever, Sharkface/Locus :3333 with the rest under a cut for sake of scrolling ofc

Despite appearances, Sharkface is actually the most well adjusted "just some guy" of the mercs since Siris is gone. And that I think can tug Locus back towards the realm of balance, make him realize hey this fucked up thing I have with Felix? doesn't need to be like this. Like sure they're both still fucked up freaks, but I think since Sharkface is actually capable of being normal about people stuff Locus' badly calibrated interpersonal compass could be bright back into better alignment. It might not be normal but Sharkface would be decently chill about Locus needing to start being a good guy in earnest and having a Person at the vet least is good for Sharkface. He's a social animal and needs to have People around to love and nurture or he suffers.

Which brings us to my next favorite, the ever-toxic "what the fuck is with these guys" ship: Shark/Felix >:) the only way I can see these guys is as aromantic and casually sexual but still somehow weirdly codependent. They 100% bring out the worst in each other, and really I can mostly only see this "working" in an extremely specific or modern AU.

The oddly specific one is a personal au of mine where Sharkface survives Armonia bc one of his assigned squad scrapes him off the pavement and gets him to medical. So that when Felix is falling off the tower like a meteor headed to hell Sharkface is like huh that looks like it's gonna suck and yoinks him sideways instead with his grapplehook. (Do not tell me he isn't any good with it you know that boy spent way too much time with his old squad doing dumb shit and stupid tricks) They both escape death by sheer dumb luck, Locus disappears like a ghost and the UAC runs the remnants off of Chorus into an escape Condor. It's uh. It's like that one post. Fuck. I can't find the screenshot but it's like enemies to begrudgingly working together and maybe me saving your life and you saving mine i feel some sort of minor obligation and i guess you're not that bad after all and we don't work so bad together and at some point it's just easier to stick together kind of thing. And with Sharkface he needs a person or people as stated above and Felix clings because it's weird to not have someone at his side and well they're getting work done and making money and the sex is good so why break a decent grind while it's still working out... ANYWAY. That, and enraged hatefucking while the wars still on. Those are the options but god are they chewy.

There's no real rhyme or reason to the order, truthfully these rotate in my top spot depending on the day lol but Sharklina is so. SO. ough. listen ok so they're enemies at first and Lina completely rocks his shit and thanks to the Skittles assholes he loses everything and they forget about the people they've crushed under a fucking skyscraper. He's hell bent on revenge, she's hell bent on redemption. which is extremely funny in light of his tattoo. they're both competitive and dedicated and passionate and neither one of them likes backing down, and honestly in like a modern au with them meeting at like idk an MMA match or something i think they'd kick each other's asses and then make out. In canon though they've got SO MUCH deliciously chewy baggage to work through and if they hadn't just fucking shot him bc they were running out of time and he declared his undying vengeance i think they might have begrudgingly found they had quite a lot in common over time and through a LOT of hand to hand combat. Ugh. They make me insane. Stubborn little fuckers.

a 'problematic' but evergreen fave. two unsc prisoners freed and pressganged by criminals, one acting in his former capacity as a psychological professional but likely without any licensure any longer, and only with the intention to hone sharkface into a keen blade of revenge to clip some loose ends from his life to make a cleaner getaway, or at least that's what I assume. he proves to be scheming to save his own hide towards the end. BUT WHAT IF he finds an odd attachment to this broken soldier, nearly suicidal in his desires for revenge, to quiet the ghosts in his mind? either as an intellectual curiosity or personal curiosity. i like the option of sharkface trying to dig into him in return with what little he knows of the guy besides the fact that he's playing his cards very close to his vest. that contrarianism can either work against price or right into his hands, but it's about grabbing the right leads and if he misjudges, the shark will thrash free and go right for the neck...

i guess i don't have a whole lot coherent to say but i do love to chew on this weird lopsided power dynamic and toss in a bit of shipping just to see where it goes. sometimes you get a fluff blend where they're both hurting in the core of them and deciding that actually this war is stupid/doomed/worthless and fucking off together to not heal persay but find some mutual comfort is nice. it's versatile because they're both tertiary and quaternary villains in 13 so there's entirely too much grey space to fill in, even though we've known the counselor since season 6 (technically)

now THIS one i had to chew on for a while because the only canon interaction they have is Kimball witnessing his "as long as I'm alive you're all as good as dead!" speech and shooting him in the chest. 🥴

but. in a world where he's captured instead maybe. Kimball won't let him at the freelancers and he's pissed. the freelancers killed the only people that ever gave a fuck about him, so the only thing left to keep him warm is revenge. Kimball knows a thing or two about having someone kill your entire family callously without losing a wink of sleep over it. She's a lot of tough love because she has to be as a leader, as a source of courage and a beacon of hope for her troops to look towards. But that might actually work on him. She might be able to convince him that you have to keep moving forward regardless, and tearing through innocents on your way to extract a personal revenge doesn't make you any better than the people who wronged you in the first place.

He'd resist at first, refuse to listen, tell her to fuck off, because what does he have left to hold if not for that last ember of vengeance? But he was put off balance when Carolina first apologized to him. Kimball's talked to him a few times. He's got a conscience in there even if he doesn't want it and the worst part is she's right. She's right and he hates it and the more he thinks about all the kids he killed on this side for the mercs the sicker he feels, and finally decides he'll fight for them, give up intel on the mercs and take the fight right back to the guys who brought him here in the first place.

I think to be anything romantic it'd take a very very long road of shark redemption first and probably a lot of awkward "we can't possibly, she's the president of the whole planet and I'm some asshole Merc that turned sides to fight for them/i can't possibly impose, i can't ask someone out bc they'll feel obligated bc I'm the president argh power dynamic" and he's probably aiding rebuilding efforts after and maybe Kimball feels compelled to check in with him occasionally and there's a fondness there that grows slowly and maybe he finally cracks a joke and it takes her by surprise and he's never heard her laugh like that before and uh oh that did it, the dam has broken and he'll take her out on lunch dates to make sure she does take a break sometimes, and after spending so long having to worry about looking after everyone else is nice to have someone who looks after her too, and aaaa ok good job thanks you made me ship it /o\ ...jerk (affectionate)

also i was gonna like proofread this but I've been working on this for a couple hours on and off now and I'm tired so while this was VERY FUN THANK YOU i am too tired for proofreading so hopefully it's legible

#rvb sharkface #ask games #inbox games #blorbo tag #sir that's my emotional support shark #sharcus #sharklix #sharklina #sharkprice #fuck it we sharkball #i wrote that tag initially as a joke bc sharkball but honestly!!!! i talked myself into shipping it #so #fuck it we sharkball!!!!!#this is super fucking long but scroll to the end if you just want to know about sharkball

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