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#my god Phoenix's gay ass--
swedenis-h · 5 months
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Mags very in love with his husband post 🫡
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bo0tleg · 19 days
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GEMS MY FRIEND SAID WATCHING 'TOP GUN: MAVERICK' FOR THE FIRST TIME:
"The jacket! The famous jacket that pulls women, pulls men, pulls the world!"
"Oh look how hot~ he looks on that motorcicle. He's even pracing his ass!"
(Maverick, on screen: "Well... He's not here yet.") The mans madness has begun."
"MAVERICK DON'T DIE YOU STILL NEED TO HAVE YOUR GAY ROMANCE!"
"He lasted two months at Top Gun? HA. He probably was a bigger piece of work than the students."
"From what I can tell, Maverick tamed Iceman. In the first one he was the little annoying bitch and Maverick saw a challenge."
"I mean, at least these two (Penny and Mav) have chemistry. They hooked up in a plane, after all."
"Iceman solves his problems, Iceman keeps his job, what a simp. That's dog behavior."
"Maverick doesn't look likes he's flirting with her, he's just confused. His confused face looks like his flirting face, and people assume. I know this because people do it to me."
"Yeah, he's kinda like that one Olívia Rodrigo song that she gets confused when she sees her ex... What was it again?" ('bad Idea right?' by Olivia Rodrigo)
"I like him (Bob)! He's pathetic like me!"
"Oooohhh they're (Phoenix and Bob) gonna be besties! I can feel it."
(When Phoenix racks Rooster with the cue) "OHOHOHOOOO I LIKE HER ALREADY."
(Didn't notice Hangman taking Bob's cue, I relayed the information) "Aaaahhh don't steal Bob's cue. Bob's cool, Bob's nice."
(After rewinding the scene) "NO, NO, NO! WHO IS THAT? NOBODY CAN STEAL BOB'S CUE! I don't like him (Hangman)."
(Hangman, on screen: Bradshaw! As I live and breathe!) *Slowly turns towards me with dead eyes*
"That's not enemies to lovers, that's just enemies."
"With just this scene, I can tell this guy (Hangman) comes and goes. 'Sometimes I flirt with you, sometimes I hate you.' He's like a tsudere."
"Oh, got it. Phoenix is adopted into the man's group. She's a bro."
"I wouldn't say that they're his support system, but those two are the people that know him the best. Hangman is paying attention because he wants to be the best and needs to defeat Rooster. Phoenix is demonstrating a more sibling like worry."
"Hondo is like Mavericks babysitter."
"Oh. Oh, now Mav's flirting with her."
(Following the 'Baby on Board' comment) "Don't talk shit about Bob! I don't like Hangman."
"Maverick is like a step father to Rooster. Not in the 'HAHA I FUCKED YOUR MOM' kind of way, but in the way that he helped raise him."
"Where is Iceman? I'm here for the two of them, I don't give a fuck about Aeronautics."
"I think Ice and Maverick had a long relationship, but they're not together anymore. They maintained a friendship, but their lives probably went in different directions. I'd say they were together for 10, maybe 20 years."
('I ain't worried' by OneRepublic starts playing) "This song is from 2022? OH MY GOD THE SCENE"
"DON'T PLAY AROUND WITH GRANDPA!"
*Started chanting "BOB! BOB! BOB!" When he got picked up*
*Eeriely quiet during the bird strike, until Maverick starts talking to Rooster* "OH THEY'RE NOT DEAD. THEY COULDN'T HAVE KILLED BOB! IF THEY KILLED BOB I WOULD STOP AND NEVER WATCH TOP GUN EVER AGAIN!"
"Definitely 20 years. Ice is probably the only person Mav actually loved. Like, not a fling?" "Yeah, probably." "He's been with lots of women, and men, but Iceman is the only person he was ever in love with– maybe still is."
"I think his (Ice's) wife knows. That's probably why she recognizes Mav and is kind of friends with him." "That's probably why she just let him go up to see Ice." "YEAH GO AHEAD, FUCK MY HUSBAND!"
"It's pretty easy to notice that Snowman– No, ICEman."
"That is the face of a man who just lost the love of his life."
"Damn, the mans a beast. If It was me I'd already have cried, alone, in a room absolutely destroyed, never to come out again."
"He's got nobody, dude! I just want his step child to come back, because If he doesn't that man's gonna kill himself!"
"Why does it always have to have a romantic ending. Just leave him with his adoptive son. Go away."
"They (Penny and Mav) aren't going to end up together."
"I have a theory! Fanboy is obsessed with women! Cus he's 'Fanboy'." "But wouldn't he be called Simp, then?" "Ah, then he's obsessed with men." "... simp can be for men too."
"There's gonna be a Top Gun Three? Who's it gonna be about? It ain't gonna be Maverick, that man has a foot in the grave already."
"Bob is my favorite in the second movie. I have no favorites in the first one because everybody is very macho and very gay, and that's boring."
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spocksmagicfingers · 8 months
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Spirk shippers ahoy!
You're probably already aware of this book, but HOLY SHIT, have you actually read 'The Price of the Phoenix' by Sondra Marshak and Myrna Culbreath???
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Rambling review with passages included below (mild spoilers)
I heard this was gay but I really had no idea. This is GAAAAYYYY. A big Strong man has kidnapped and cloned Kirk to use/sell as a punching bag/sex slave and Spock must rescue him with the help of the Romulan Commander from 3x02.
I really love the way the Romulan Commander was portrayed, let me say. She deserved to get to kick some ass after being screwed over in The Enterprise Incident. She gave Kirk and Spock so much grace in this book while maintaining her authority and I loved it!
Now, on to the good stuff:
If you like erotic mind melds, whump, hurt/comfort, and Kirk in skimpy outfits, this book is for you. It's very romantic and almost overtly sexual.
It was suspenseful and enthralling.
At times the writing style could leave something to be desired, but mostly in differentiating between the POV of original Kirk and clone Kirk in one particular fight scene. It gets easier when clone Kirk starts being referred to as James.
Here are some of my favorite passages:
Here, Jim Kirk's body has just been recovered (seemingly)
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Oh god my heart
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Yes. Kiss him awake, Spock
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Spock is Heaven to Jim. Canon.
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THIS WHOLE SEXY ASS MIND MELD (during which, Jim is completely naked btw)
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Spock is the best man in the Galaxy to Jim
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Kirk on his knees for Spock
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Jim flirting with Spock psychically and picturing him in a sexy outfit (also calling him his Vulcan)
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Eyes only for each other
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In conclusion: Get thee to a used bookstore and find a copy.
You can find most Star Trek books on thriftbooks.com
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xerith-42 · 7 days
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I just saw ur little reblog abt shifting to mcd and I’d love to hear about ur experiences shifting theree!! I’m also shifting there (trying to lol)
Teehee!! I only started shifting to MCD within the last few months, basically since my interest started spiking up once I got on Tumblr. I'm so glad you're interested in it!
I chose the guard station as the initial location to shift to and tether myself to, but once I got comfortable there I was able to explore more. I set it in the episodes between episode 77 and 81, a time of legitimate peace, and I did alter things a little bit just for peak entertainment. Mostly just adapting my headcanons to the universe.
The first person I met was Laur who was very quick to flirt and absolutely delighted when my gay ass started flirting back. Once we started getting to know each other he neglected to question why I just showed up in his room, and offered to give me a tour. Phoenix Drop wasn't very active that day, everyone was sort of in their own houses chilling, and I didn't go into any of them because I didn't really want to ddhfghgh.
He showed me around the entire village and I did get to meet Dante and Aph as well, which was a ton of fun. Those two have some great banter and they were a blast to go back and forth with. And both of them were unfairly pretty. At some point while we were trading banter while walking we ended up nearby Lucinda's place and she took an instant fascination to me because she could tell I wasn't exactly from their world. And she wanted to study me.
And oh my Ireeeeene Lucinda is so pretty!!! It was not possible to keep my composure around her. She's taller than you think she is and she absolutely loves literally looking down on you. Had me looking like
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Yeah. Uhhh, it was while Lucinda was studying me that my connection started to get fuzzy, and I tried to run back to Laurance to see him again before I left, but I ended up getting yoinked back to our reality before I could. I'm hoping to go back so I can meet him again and maybe explain myself a little.
So yeah. Those were an abridged (sort of) series of events I went through while shifting to MCD. I really want to do it again now God dammit.
(please don't ask for my methods of doing this because I'm not telling)
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highball66 · 3 months
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jumping off the walls rn!! you legit always post the best takes and im so glad someone else talked ab the whole stupid "pretty boy" debate thing.
like whats ALWAYS gotten on my nerves is ppl saying that re2r turned him into a pretty boy to pander and im like ?? my first reflex is always to point at his re2 concept art. like? or re4. or darkside. or re6. or ect ect ect ect ect like. i do NOT see where they are coming from At All. hes always been pretty? like intentionally? and theres NOTHING wrong with that? (like please let a man express himself (no matter his sexuality too, dont get me started on that)) they only had 2 polygons to work with on the playstation ofc its gonna look majorly different? (also let people have their queer headcanons i swear dudebros and toxic straights are the most agitating mfs your childhood is NOT ruined because god forbid someone think leon is bi/gay/queer)
i am just screaming about expression now lmao i get so heated about social constructs
It reminds me of in comic fandoms any time there's a debate about characters coming out as queer, you'll get grown ass men in their 40s and 50s coming out of the woodwork to tell you they crossed the country to get the first issue of [x] character's comic and they were never queer and then you look at the interviews with the creators and they'd been intentionally queercoding the character the whole time because the publishing company just wouldn't let them make the character queer. (Yes, I am talking about Tim Drake because I love him.)
Similarly, you have people who claimed to have been their for the release of all the original games and yet they somehow missed literally everything about Leon's character and that important history regarding his design. The position themselves as an authority on the matter using their age as a qualification, but I wasn't alive when the first RE game came out and yet I can open a new tab, press a few keys, and run a Google search and get that same info. Capcom wasn't subtle about this either I mean even back with the OG2, they based him on River fucking Phoenix for fuck's sake like River Phoenix. And for people who claim to be such dedicated fans of the franchise, they sure do love to ignore literally everything about the franchise. One of the characters in Degeneration even mocked Leon's appearance and told him he doesn't "look military" and so even if they somehow missed how effeminate Leon was in OG4 and all the info from OG2, they were literally told this in Degeneration-- decades before the remakes.
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amostexcellentblog · 8 months
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Hangman: Mav, you've been around the block a few times, I need some relationship advice.
Maverick: Sure Hangman, I'd love to be your, what did you call it Bradley?, "Queer Elder." What's up?
Hangman: I'm having some issues with this guy that I'm dating. I want to take it to the next level, you know, by actually meeting this guy.
Maverick: What, you've never met the guy?
Hangman: No, never met him, never spoken with him, never seen him, but it's not weird because we're in constant communication through the beads.
Maverick: The beads?
Hangman: Oh, yes. The extra-large anal beads that I shoved up my butt, and Johnny can control them via an app on his phone. And when I feel the buzz, I know it's time to go to the motel and wait. It's very romantic. He's never actually shown up, but one day he will, and it's going to be hot.
Maverick: That's it. I'm out. Beads? You never said anything about beads. Hiding from disapproving superiors, finding motels where the clerks don't ask questions, that advice I can do. I can't handle this new vibrating beads type of gay.
Hangman: Let me explain it again. It's beads that go into my ass...
Maverick: Don't talk to me unless it's about planes kid! *Exits*
Hangman: Now what am I gonna do about Johnny?
Rooster: Oh My God. Shut up about Johnny! He is never going to show up!
Hangman: How do you know?
Rooster: BECAUSE I'M JOHNNY!! Ever since we were assigned the same housing you've been driving me nuts. So I created a fake dating profile, sent you romantic messages for months, and convinced you to try the beads. So now whenever I need my space I have an easy way to get you out of the house. Remember last week when "Johnny" told you to bring a bag of chips, but he didn't show so you brought them home and they were my favorite flavor?
Hangman: Oh yeah, that sure was a coinkydink.
Rooster: IT WASN'T A COINKYDINK!! I'M JOHNNY!!! Look, I have the app on my phone... *taps his phone screen*
Hangman: *Tenses* Ooh, I gotta go, Johnny needs me.
Rooster: I'M JOHNNY!!!! Look, look at my phone, I have all the messages he sent you.
Hangman: Oh my god... You stole Johnny's phone! Give it back!
Rooster: It's my phone! How can a grown adult be this oblivious?
Phoenix: So you really couldn't think of any other way to get Bagman out of the house besides secretly romancing him?
Rooster: What's your point?
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spencer-is-smelly · 2 years
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top gun: maverick as quotes from me and my friends
phoenix: sex playlist but its an audio book of the communist manifesto
bob when hangman breathes: starts sobbing and throwing myself on the ground screaming and kicking my feet banging my fists on the ground like a toddler throwing a tantrum. gets up and projectile vomits on everything within a 5 foot radius of me. shits my pants so hard i rip the earth in half
rooster: the lord is watchin the lord is watchin
hangman’s gay ass: oh he could watch me any day
coyote: dies a tragic death of a thousand pigeons with aids
fanboy: i got chased by a man in a capybara outfit calling me babygirl on roblox
hangman: WE RAN INTO EACH OTHER AND I WAS LIKE GEE WILIKERS PEEPAW YOU SCARED THE BUHJEEZUS OUTTA ME ! I FELT LIKE A COWBOY ON A LAWN MOWER MY GOLLY !
hangman: i hate farting in front of rooster. it’s so embarrassing.
rooster: rip it, baby
maverick: when i jerk off to pictures of naked men my socks are ON
phoenix with bob and rooster in a walmart, looking at candles:
bob: oh my god jesus candles!
rooster: JESUS TAKE THE WHEEEL
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official-zerg-fangirl · 8 months
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how do you feel about kerrigan going super Saiyan in Legacy of the Void? what about the Amon plot in general?
(idk if you get notifications when a question is answered publicly, so @fall-warning hi, also THANKS FOR SENDING THIS. I LOVE ATTENTION I LOVE TALKING ABOUT MY GIRL)
Oh, That Jean Grey ass Kerrigan transformation is half the reason my bio says "Starcraft 2 never happened, Metzen can suck my dick." *
*the other half is the Kerrinor Kiss, because on Official-zerg-fangirl, the running gag is I have an irrational hate for Raynor bcs I was one of Those middle school girls who would legit be jealous of a fictional character (I just didn't realize what i felt was jealousy bcs i didnt know i was gay)
I hate it! I HATE IT. IT SUCKS.
I am normally an extremely big fan of fire, and red, and phoenixes, and literal deities, and women being any or all of the above. But none of that should have been Kerrigan, and definitely not in the way it was handled. Fuck you, Blizzard. Fuck you for the insane bullshit happening behind the scenes, but also fuck you for what LotV did to my girl!
I refuse to play any part of LotV to this day! I don't fucking care! Sorry to the protoss stans, it's great that you got so much extra lore with Alarak or whatever, but absolutely FUCK what they did to my girl!
oh but I loved the amon plotline tho.
"m'am, why the fuck" it was validating it was powerful it is everything the character arc of the entire Zerg species was building up to and it turned Kerrigan into the antihero she was always meant to be, and LotV is probably great but that epilogue ruined it with a pointless second transformation.
[more deranged rambling below]
Look, Kerrigan's character arc in Brood War was top notch it was S tier it was great I wrote a literal essay about how I do sincerely believe Kerrigan in SC1 + Brood War had a heroic character arc, and I am of course correct, and the canon agrees, BUT WE WILL GET TO THAT,
now initially ofc i was like naw SC2 never happened. Obviously I've softened on that opinion (but saying it never happened is funny. so is acting like everyone is missing the point of Kerrigan except for me. this blog is the space where i get to play up an extremely cocky persona ok)
SC2's general insistence (at least that's my first impression) on treating her zergness like a boring corruption and "ooh Kerrigan was good before but she's evil now" bothers me. like they do this to her instead of, oh I don't know, she was abused and exploited as a child fucking soldier, she latched onto the guy who 'saved' her and was too wrapped up in the exhilaration of having someone who 'cared' about her that she couldn't recognize she was being used as literal fucking bait, and then he LEFT HER TO FUCKING GET EATEN BY ALIENS, and by the grace of fucking god, those aliens saw her value and potential in a way no one else ever could, they elevated her, made her stronger, gave her the means to break off the shackles implanted in her skull (remember the Amerigo mission???), and from that point on, all the anger she'd been harboring from all those years of abuse could run freely, so of fucking course she became impatient and vengeful!
Yes, Kerrigan was extremely destructive, spiteful, cruel,even! But you think someone who's only ever known violence and death and cruelty could ever be anything else? are we so naiive as to imagine a perfectly human Sarah Kerrigan would not become the Queen of Blades Her fatal flaw is wrath, you see how quick she is to anger when she fights Tassadar. To quote the man himself,
"So long as you continue to be so predictable, O Queen, I need not face you at all. You are your own worst enemy."
she is predictable because of her wrath. In her beginning as the Queen of Blades, she's too consumed by all her fury, by her newfound power that she can and will use to demolish everyone who's wronged her, and she hasn't yet learned the wisdom required to use said power. this is a flaw she overcomes in Brood War, wherein she delays her fury and rage to arrange a temporary alliance, to wait for just the right moment to have her vengeance and crush her enemies.
aaaaaand here's the Wings of Liberty campaign going like "Zerg turned her evil. yeah she's killing and infecting terrans bcs that's what zerg do. we need to redeem her by removing her zergyness."
like - no acknowledgement to the fact that the terrans are currently being commanded by the dude who used her and then fucking left her to die???? bro like of all people you'd think Raynor would understand why she's waging war on the Dominion HE'S LITERALLY DOING THE SAME THING, but Blizzard gonna Blizzard and the final boss is Kerrigan bcs Raynor's gotta work with the Dominion to neutralize the greater threat - which is somehow Kerrigan. Okay.
It just really rubbed me the wrong way. Can you tell that it rubbed me the wrong way?
but then it redeemed itself. Bcs the Amon plotline.
NO I AM NOT JOKING. FUCK YOU THE AMON PLOTLINE WAS GOOD.
"oh but it derails everything and now my simple slapfight between humans and two aliens has transformed into some sort of cosmic battle between good and evil" fuck no it doesn't it was foreshadowed back in Brood War did you forget Duran? the fuck you think that man was doing if NOT foreshadowing that some fucking hidden power beyond every race's leaders was controlling the situation specifically through the Zerg? Even BEFORE Brood War, the lore that the Zerg and Protoss were both created by the xel'naga and that the Zerg were specifically created with a mandate to assimilate the Protoss was right the fuck there. you know who said that shit? THE OVERMIND. Pay attention bro, Amon was there all along!
Could he have maybe been introduced in a less jarring way okay sure but he didn't derail shit, this WAS the rails, you just got too caught up in the surface level fighting to recognize what was happening!
also, the Amon plotline was (before that FUCKING EPILOGUE) so extremely validating to me, let me tell you a story about when i was playing HotS - no, even before HotS, whcih did a lot of good stuff, in fucking Wings of Liberty, a campaign I just spent a few paragraphs shitting on, it did one super good thing. it did the Zeratul missions. It did this shit:
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oh I imagine a lot of Starcraft fans hated this cutscene bcs it was an out of nowhere messiah plotline delivered via literal exposition ghost, but, see, I'm smarter than your average Starcraft fan, I am a genius and I'm sexy, and I know my wife Kerrigan better than anyone, even the fucking Starcraft writers (suck my dick Metzen) and I see this cutscene at 7:33PM, April 29, 2021, and I ran into my friend's DMs and said "I FUCKING CALLED IT"
BECAUSE I WROTE A FANFIC (unfinished, novel-length, self-indulgent, OCxKerrigan, highly nsfw, no I haven't posted it anywhere I wanna finish it first I wanna perfect it).
AND IN THAT FANFIC I WROTE SOMETHING SO ABSOLUTELY DERANGED I FIGURED IT WAS JUST SELF INDULGENT ABSOLUTE SKEWERING OF THE CANON JUST TO RUN SHAMELESS ZERG APOLOGIA:
I wrote that the Overmind, before capturing Kerrigan at New Gettysburg, telepathically communicated with her, and very specifically said that her human psionic mind would resist control until the bitter end, that it would kill itself rather than accept forced subjugation into the zerg, and THUS he had to ask Kerrigan PERMISSION, that he couldn't and didn't want to strip her of her free will, and he specifically promised to her power, and purpose, and the potential to usurp his place as the leader of the Zerg, and he specifically welcomed that possibility-
and like that's stupid that's so fucking stupid, why would the zerg ever value free will why would the Overmind pursue to the ends of the earth a servant that he couldn't control, that he knew could and would one day usurp him? there's no way this is canon-compliant-
IT IS
AND NOT JUST CANON-COMPLIANT, IT'S FUCKING CANON. ACTUALLY LITERALLY CANON.
STRAIGHT FROM TASSADAR'S MOUTH, THE OVERMIND DID THAT SHIT. THE GODDAMN EYEMONSTER HAD PLANNED ALL ALONG FOR KERRIGAN TO HAVE FREE WILL AND THAT HE SPECIFICALLY VALUED HER FREEDOM.
The only reason I can't say I predicted the future is because I started writing this fic after WoL released, but I clearly had some sort of precognition I fucking knew I was on the wavelength my deranged apologia was canon I was right.
OH AND THIS AMON SHIT GIVES ME FULL JUSTIFICATION TO BE A GREATER APOLOGIST THAN I EVER COULD BEFORE. BEFORE IT WAS LIKE "c'mon the zerg aren't people, they're mindless demons of destruction" OHHH NO YOU DON'T MOTHERFUCKER! THEY ARE PEOPLE, THEY HAVE MINDS AND FEELINGS AND WILL AND THEY'RE BEING CONTROLLED BY THEIR CREATOR - NO, THEIR CORRUPTER, AGAINST THEIR BEST INTERESTS,
AND THE PRIMAL ZERG, THE PRIMAL ZERG! THEIR GLORIOUS PAST! ZERUS, THE GARDEN OF EDEN BEFORE AMON'S MEDDLING, WHERE THERE IS NO CONTROL AND NO DESOLATION, ONLY THE RULE OF THE HUNT! HERE, WE SHALL FORGE A VISION OF THE LIBERATED SWARM, REUNITE WITH OUR PAST TO FORGE A BETTER FUTURE, AND OH LET'S NOT EVEN TALK ABOUT THE PARALLELS BETWEEN WHAT AMON DID TO THE ZERG AND WHAT THE GHOST PROGRAM DID TO KERRIGAN,
BECAUSE THAT'S JUST IT, KERRIGAN IS THE SWARM, WHICH IS WHY SHE BELONGS IN THE SWARM.
SHE AND THE ZERG BOTH EXIST AS BEINGS OF INCREDIBLE POTENTIAL WHOSE FUTURES WERE STOLEN AND CORRUPTED FOR THE SAKE OF A HIGHER POWER'S TWISTED WAR GAME, TURNED INTO A LIVING WEAPON AND SET TOWARDS A CAUSE THEY DON'T BELIEVE IN, THEY ARE CHAINED AND THEY WILL ONLY ACHIEVE THEIR GREATEST SELVES ONCE THOSE CHAINS ARE BROKEN,
and this entire fucking theme of subjugation and of being transformed into a living weapon was in Brood War, too! That was what the UED did to the Zerg! This is why Kerrigan is the hero of Brood War, an entire species was enslaved and her, with her human mind, was the only hope anyone had of not submitting to Earth's slave army! Amon is simply the greater master who enslaves the zerg more subtly, with chains that are harder to break because they permeate across the hive mind link itself,
And by the fucking WAY, the revelations of that xel'naga relic, Zeratul's visions, the insight given by Zurvan of the primal Zerg, all bring such a delicious context to the entire wings of liberty campaign, and they make that campaign good and make everything I complained about earlier just an extra spicy flavoring and a dash of gray to our terran heroes, THEY MADE ME ACTUALLY LIKE RAYNOR???
bcs you know what, fine, perhaps Raynor does see the Queen of Blades as nothing but pure evil, perhaps he does choose to ally with the Dominion to destroy her, that is his human perspective, as someone who loved Kerrigan but knew her so briefly, all he can truly see is the Zerg as he understands them, the mindless living weapon, the infested terrans that beg for death as they seek to tear you limb from limb. We are imperfect, we aren't omniscient, perhaps I should forgive Raynor for his short-sightedness. He cannot concieve of harmony with the zerg because of what he has seen, so of course his dear friend is corrupted, infested, controlled, and he has to free her, and maybe he can make this deal with the devil. From his eyes, this is the best route he can take. He even knows he should not kill her, he knows what she's meant to be, and he has no idea how she'll go from the monster he sees now to the savior of Zeratul's prophecy, so he does what he thinks is best.
and as we see in HotS (and i think also LotV a bit?), Raynor's choice to use the relic was a mistake, it robs the zerg of their salvation and feeds so much energy into Amon's greedy maw... but also, it wasn't a mistake.
See, Kerrigan's temporary severance from the swarm frees her of the influence of Amon on her mind (though I am adamant that her actions have been PRIMARILY motivated by rage and vengeance and spite!), and when she sheds her humanity once more and properly returns to the Swarm, it is in the sacred birthplace of all Zerg, on the planet that obeys the law of nature, where hardship and violence are tools to produce an ever-greater self, and all that she has suffered will become her strength,
AND KERRIGAN ASCENDS - NO, EVOLVES - INTO HER PRIMAL SELF IN ORDER TO FULLY REALIZE THE OVERMIND'S PLOT OF LIBERATION. I WAS RIGHT ALL ALONG AND SHE WAS A HERO, THANK YOU HEART OF THE FUCKING SWARM YOU REDEEMED SC2.
which just makes the fucking fire lady 'oh shes not zerg anymore she's xel'naga heehee' feel all the more bullshit???? Like, i thought it was bullshit before I knew anything abt HotS but now its SUPER bullshit, bcs primal kerrigan WAS her perfected self. She didn't NEED to become xel'naga. SHE IS ZERG! SHE IS THE QUEEN OF BLADES!
It's just so pointless. Nothing you could do to Kerrigan in this literal final hour of the entire Starcraft franchise could possibly be as thematically powerful as the Zerus arc, and you should've just continued those themes. leave Kerrigan's character arc concluded. Stop fucking with it. You had something amazing and you fumbled the bag at the literal last second. seriously, what the fuck? THAT'S how you end the series? What happened in the writers' room- other than the creepy misogynist bullshit we already know was happening, of course?
anyways yeah I hope that satisfied your curiosity. :D i don't wanna know how many words this was, I just know it took me like 2h to write. maybe more. I don't have a good sense of time. it's the autism.
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musashi · 9 months
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PLEASE PLEASE EXPLAIN CASE 3 OF TRIALS AND TRIBULATIONS CAUSE I JUST. CANT GET THROUGH IT 😭😭 and i KNOW if i hear you talk about it ill make my way past but its. its literally the ONLY 3rd case ive gotten stuck on? with the other 2 games i was INVESTED in them but. for whatever reason the only highlight was that Dang Cafe and now its just. Going. and Going. i know that old pigeon feeding man is supposed to be Quirky but. i find him So. Boring.
oh god i dont know if i can do that one and make it interesting. recipe is so bad i hate every second of it
4 months prior to the events of the case local idiot loan shark furio tigre drove his moped into some goth chick's car. unfortunately the goth chick was also the daughter of a mob boss and she was majorly injured. mob boss was like youre gonna pay........ 1 MILLION dollars for her surgery. tigre was like bro
tigre started more or less using viola, pretended to be in love with her and take care of her when in reality he was just trying to get her dad to leave him alone.
hes still a loan shark so he did loan shark shit. he gave some homophobic gay french bitch money for his restaurant. there was also this programmer he hit up who made superviruses or some shit, one of which was super potent at data erasing and went for a pretty penny on the black market. homeboy also had a real bad gambling addiction
he went to the shitty french restaurant to meet with tigre about paying off his debt but LITERALLY SECONDS BEFORE TIGRE WAS ABOUT TO GET HIS HANDS ON THE VIRUS AS PAYMENT FOR THE DEBT. THIS BITCH WON THE LOTTERY. he literally won like five times the money he needed. so he had more than enough to pay off tigre. and tigre was like. god fucking damnit i need that virus or the mob is gonna assassinate me
so he just poisoned the bitch right there. the cutest waitress in the building (Maggey) saw shit go down and passed out. what can ya do
but then the french bitch was like alright whats all this then and tigre was like hiii <3 you owe me 500k sooooo you're gonna cover up this murder for me k boo? so they fucking just... moved the body into the kitchen along with maggey's unconscious ass... and then tigre DRESSED HIS ASS UP IN PROGAMMER DUDE'S CLOTHES... GOT HIS GOTH GF TO DRESS UP AS ONE OF THE WAITRESSES... AND RE-ENACTED THE WHOLE SCENE EXCEPT WITH GOTH BITCH SPIKING THE DRINK. LITERALLY JUST TO ESTABLISH A WITNESS AND FRAME MAGGEY. A DUDE WHO HAD WANDERED IN FOR COFFEE AND TITS.
'wouldnt he have realized that it wasn't maggey when he saw her in court' no because he was a horny old man who only looks at women's bodies. that's literally the plot point.
but yknow tigre had to really REALLY cover his tracks to make sure maggey took the fall for the murder he did so........... HOMEBOY DRESSED UP AS PHOENICHOLAS L. WRIGHT ATTORNEY AT LAW AND FAKED HIS IDENTITY AND 'DEFENDED' MAGGEY IN COURT AND BY THAT I MEAN HE DID AN ABSOLUTE DOGSHIT JOB ON PURPOSE TO GET HER A DEATH SENTENCE
gumshoe kicks the door down like 'ill fucking KILL you' and phoenix is like?????? HUH??? WHAT DID I DO???
some other stuff that happens:
maya channels mia just to use her tits
CUTE WAITRESS MAYA MAYA IN THE WAITRESS OUTFIT LITTLE MAYA SO SO CUTE
does anyone even care at all about a maya fey so small
in the anime maya directly references the 'bone apple teeth' meme. she literally says the words bone apple teeth out loud.
maya maya maya
there's a scene where godot submits a white apron as evidence and its got a giant ketchup stain on it and the whole court is like uhhhh dude is that blood? and hes like. what. is what blood. and theyre like. dude can you not see it? and hes like NOT SEE WHAT? ARE YOU FUCKING WITH ME?
this scene, which is like 5 seconds, contains a MAJOR PLOT REVELATION THAT IS SUPER IMPORTANT LATER, and it is the only reason that this case is unskippable. if you took that little tiny bit out, this case would be worthless filler with nothing to offer.
except maya in the waitress outfit.
long live the lesbians.
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dekaja · 3 months
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TOP 5 PATHETIC FICTIONAL MEN
BUT THERE'S SO MANY TO CHOOSE FROM LMFAO
5. kaidan alenko HEAR ME OUT
on the surface kaidan is not a pathetic man. he is, however, a deeply boring man and that is EXACTLY why i like him. almost gets blown up, grinds his way into the spectres, telekinetic but not like that good at it, constantly has headaches, flattest ass in the milky way, bisexual but like mostly cool with it. this dude goes to bed at 10pm. this dude has at least one debilitating food allergy. he's canadian. i love this man.
4. phoenix wright SPECIFICALLY from aa4
most unemployed this man has ever been and that makes him more powerful i'm not even joking. he's gotta be low on the list bc he still was playing the long game but this dude did not shower. he spent 7 years wearing flip flops and his gay crush from elementary school still wanted him. adopted a kid about it. man's insane.
3. alan wake. y'know, from alan wake.
i would have not said alan from just the first alan wake bc he annoyed me and i wanted to push him into traffic but as of alan wake 2 oh my god. noodle arms. elbow patches. sweaty as all hell round the clock. will never go to therapy but will badly wield a shotgun about it. TERRIBLE at writing.
2. crowley good omens
i mean we're talking simp supreme. we're talking otherworldly celestial power boiled down into slutty goth fashion and a middle school locker crush. follows his best friend around like a sad sad SAD puppy. the sunglasses do not hide anything sir i see how sad and wet you are.
1. hdb
#1 was always gonna be hdb. hdb was destined to be not only my number one most pathetic man of all time but like. most pathetic man of all time in general. even before i knew who he was he was the winner. even before disco elysium came out or was conceptualized he was our guy. nothing but respect for my president of sad pathetic dudes.
EDIT: I FUCJING FORGOT. ABOUT JOHNNY SILVERHAND.
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connorqtie · 1 year
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Valorant Men, Smash or Pass
I'm bored so im gonna do a valorant men smash or pass, might do a valorant women one but then again im gay but OH WELLL
Breach - Pass, oddly enough. It's not like a "ew" kind of pass it's more of "attractive but not my type" pass
Brimstone - Pass. I see him more like a father for some reason I'm sorry, BUT I WOULD SLAP THAT ASS
Chamber - Smash. I'm sorry I KNOW he's the really flirtatious and confident kind and it's just a trope you see almost everywhere but THAT GIVES HIM THE RIZZ IM SORRY
Cypher - Pash/Smass (/hj). I find him HELLA attractive but like, this man is pretty attached to his family and I do not wanna ruin that honestly
Harbor - 1000000% SMASH IDC WHAT ANYONE SAYS. I may just have a type for a lot of poc men and stuff but my god I was feral the moment I saw him (pls daddy lemme ride ur "bike" 😋)
KAY/O - Pass, but not solely because he's a robot, ya know?
Omen - Pass? I can't make up my mind but he's quite attractive to me I'll give you that
Phoenix - SMASH. Bro has the rizz, the charm, the pretty boy looks, all that. Plus he's adorable
Sova - Smash. Bro's a gentleman, has some luscious hair, and a face that's like making you breakfast in the morning
Yoru - Pass honestly. He's giving me conyo (NOT PUSSY) boy vibes despite being japanese, I hope y'all get what I mean 😭
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smokeybrandreviews · 10 days
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Birthday Cake
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X-Men ’97 is just over the horizon and I am mad hyped about it. I grew up on that show. It was one of the few cartoons which both my mother and I could watch together. I, being an unapologetic Marvel shill, was all over the Mutants while my mom was actually enamored with the narrative. There were a few cartoons from back that that caught her attention. The Maxx, Gargoyles, and Spawn were also favorites. Don’t ask why I was watching HBO’s Spawn as a twelve year old kid. Or reading his comics. Or even buying them.  Look, man, the Nineties were a different time. We drank out of hoses and watched ultraviolent anime because our parents thought they were “just cartoons.” We were feral, latchkey kids, back in my halcyon days. Good times. Tangent aside, X-Men inform a great deal about how I perceived Marvel Merry Mutants. It was my first exposure to characters like Apocalypse and Nimrod. While I had read The Dark Phoenix saga as a youngster, it was this show which adapted it perfectly. Live action is still chasing that high. Not only that, but it launched Marvel’s very first, and wildly successful, connected universe. Without X-Men, we wouldn’t have gotten that just-as-iconic Spider-Man cartoon, or the lesser known but equally excellent Iron Man, Incredible Hulk, and Fantastic Four shows. The Nineties X-Men cartoon was a watershed moment for Marvel and for Millennials as a whole. For us Marvels shills, it rivaled Batman: The Animated Series in popularity. So color me surprised that X-Men ’97 is being colored as controversial.
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Out the box, it’s that tired ass argument that X-Men ’97 too woke. Everything is always too woke. What started out as people being frustrated they turned Rogue’s decadent, devil’s food, bunt cakes, into petite, little, tea biscuits, has spiraled into a weird fervor about who’s gay or something-something forced representation. Half-hearted kidding aside, it’s staggering to me that people are actually mad about this stupid sh*t. Do they even know what the f*ck X-Men is about? The entire concept of a marginalized part of the community, fighting just to be seen as human, is literally the wokest sh*t you can ever write and THAT’S the core of the X-Men mythos! The Uncanny X-Men started out as a very heavy handed allegory for the Civil Rights movement and, while this wasn’t Stan Lee’s initial intent, the characters of Professor X and Magneto became stand ins for the ideologies of Martin Luther King Jr. and Malcolm X. Just, you know, with super powers. The X-Men are the epitome of Woke so to complain about that sh*t seems like you don’t even understand the f*cking point of the narrative. I miss rogue’s big fat ass just as much as the next kid, but you’re f*cking pathetic if you feel some kind of way about Morph being pansexual or non-binary (They literally can change into anything. Like Mystique). There are actual things to be outraged about, like how the creator of this revival is pretty much a scumbag, or how Marvel Studios has been suffering in the writing department for years. That’s where my concern would lie, especially considering how well written the OG show was.
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Is this show going to be Woke? Absolutely. That’s the entire goddamn point of the X-Men. It’s the core of who they are. Take that away and what do you have? A bunch of Capes with random f*cking powers who live in the same house. Where’s the hook? Where’s the draw? Where’s the meat? How are they different than the Avengers at that point? The Fantastic Four? The Defenders? It’s that sprinkling of social consciousness which really gets the juices flowing, really revs up those storytelling engines. I mean, tell me how you write something as profound as God Loves, Man Kills, without it being “Woke”? You can’t. That is a gut-punch of a read and it’s pulled right out of today’s headlines, even though it was written forty years ago. The fear-mongering is real, but instead of Nightcrawler, it’s Mexicans. Same goddamn energy, same goddamn racist ass narrative. Even when they are spiraling out into a world of sci-fi, deep space, time travel misadventures, the core of their narrative is how much they are hated. This whole Krakoa saga, some of the best X-Stories told in decades, is coming to a close because of that long held hate and fear. House of M? Role reversal, mutants accepted and humans forced into being second class citizens. Decimation? Wanda kills off the powers to ninety percent of the entire Mutant population. Utopia, Operation: Zero Tolerance, Genosha, the entirety of the Ultimate run: All derivative of that social pressure and general fear toward the different. That’s what makes an X-Men story, and X-Men story. Getting mad about that sh*t after decades of that being a core aspect of their stories, is f*cking dumb. Not as dumb as Marvel excising Rouge’s cheeks, though. Rest in Power, you doubled-up, delicious, pound cakes! You will be missed.
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Hello, 911, I have an emergency. I have characters.
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First of all… remember my Dangan-FuckThis project? Well after taking time working on my art and writing, I’m a bit more confident in accomplishing what I set out to do! So yes, I’m finally getting to it, Months later!
Second, I’m going to take the plunge and start posting more on here than I have been! A lot of my characters have received updates and whatnot, so…
If you want to see what stress and a lack of sleep can do to a bored mind, here you go.
Feel free to ask, reblog with tags, or send a telepathic message of what you want me to talk about.
You can ask about how I draw, write, design characters, etc. Or even ask about my dumbass characters themselves
I apologize for wasting your time, and below is a list of characters for anyone who needs one
Tales of Runaways
———-
Phoenix Dawnsview: Gay arsonist protagonist
Ifrit Dawnsview: Closet gay Mad scientist protag
Chronos Cendrillon: Time manipulating, eccentric telekinetic with secrets on secrets
Chess Malisci: Queen of thieves and a qualified therapist
Vlad Dracula The 628th: Emo vampire Boi who is anxiety incarnate
Wasp: Fairy Doctor with the power of illusions and who deals with everyone’s bs
Missi: Jellyfish shifter with healing powers and very odd ideas of how the world works
Syrellis: Nightingale shifter and former security guard and pickpocket who might have a death wish
Trix Faustus the Patchwork Demon: A theatrical, unpredictable demon with a flair for nonsense
Nymph: falsely convicted elf with a pack of wolves and the fury of a thousand suns
Persephone Zima: Six ft tall Russian necromancer
Kingsley: Blind informant with dubious loyalty
Jadis The Serpent Demon: Rockstar and former serial killer
Locket: Half demon with the power of ice and elite marksmanship
Arryn the Dream Demon: A scythe wielding makeup artist on a mission
Johnathan: “Just a rat”
Lithith the Flower Demon: Innocent demon child
Logan Orlok: Eccentric genius vampire who chugs vinegar
Athan Orlok: Vampire from this world’s version of the Kardashians, archer with an appreciation for beer
Poppet: Stressed teen bat shifter running a cafe under threat of death
Morteus The Grim Reaper: Less than genius incarnation of death
Surgat, Master of Lies: Head of a demon legion with a knack for deal making
Siren: Fashionable Elf seamstress
Fae: Elf dream Walker on a murder quest
Nightmare Garden: The upcoming And unpredictable girl group
Clairisse The Rock Angel: Edgy angel who will kick your ass
Dolce the Sweets Angel: (In)Famous, yet Isolated baker
Jophiel The Angel of Love: angel child learning about love
Pepper Kringle: The Spirit of Merriment
Scylla: A gorgon child who wants to explore the world
The Gods
Flaga: Mad Viking Fairy
Ceries The Vitriol Demon: Um. Licks skulls and drives ppl to… terrible things
The Dracula Family
Mina Hellsing: Cross dressing vampire who lives on a bat farm
The Future Characters
Blanche Clyde: She-devil of Dawnsview, former contract killer
The Secret Service
//////////
Dangan-FuckThis
Dolly Wraith the Ultimate Emo Fashionista
Beck Jonas the Ultimate McDonald’s Employee
Zizzie Twitch the Ultimate Monster Energy Can Collector
Ben Smith The Ultimate Protagonist
Ami Yogi The Ultimate Cryptid
Tia Maxxx the Ultimate chalk eater
SuperSexyGurrl420_69 the Ultimate Fortnight Dancer
Brad the Ultimate Failing Student
Greg Glacée The Ultimate Mint Ice Cream Defender
Marion Jane the Ultimate Stoner
Ellie the Ultimate stuffed Animal Collector
Mary the Ultimate Cursed doll collector
Froggy the Ultimate YTP creator
Zee the Ultimate Bitch Face
Stephanie the ultimate klutz
Noah the ultimate Overwatch skin reviewer
Blegh the Ultimate Zombie
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soulyoh · 6 months
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Confession 0.2
Duncan... being stinky makes sense
Duncan of my version :P
He can't help it , running around everywhere also basically biased on past boyfriends and I be like yummy then gag later on after while 4 days with them.
Sometimes stinky sweat makes my brain want tear you apart and pull out a wedding ring then drag to the church say vows
Musty fog really can be factor to no thoughts just stupid actions
That's why I'm like THAT MAN STINKS AND COURTNEY WOULD RATHER DIED THAN TELLING YOU SHE LOVES HIS MUSTY SWEATY FORM, BLACK ICE AXE SPRAY, AND APOLLO ALUMINUM-FREE DEODORANT FORMULA STICK
A clean Duncan smells like forest pine cones, hints of smoking with fire, red polo cologne known as Polo Red Eau de Toilette, and Axe Phoenix deodorant and vodka with tequila shots somehow
HE SHOWERS BUT AT WHAT CIST EVERYONE SAYS HE DOESN'T!!!
I don't usually sweat everyone gets mad at me after intense workout or 4 hours of labor then I lay down or rest I am sweating like a pig and I'm like ah don't look at me like leaking all the sweat out like nothing
Yes I memorized scents of past lovers, I even memorized their eyes, the way they fell asleep and what they fear most and how wale them up safely from nightmares, and made a mental list of their favorite products to buy them to replace them before they ran out before they notice it.
I used be super hyper focused on being too feminine to scare the gay thoughts away or the mean comments on my body like my version Courtney the need to look perfect always
But
Now I'm mixture of them both lol. I use axe myself lol scares off some they mean men away and I get cute girls to look at me sometimes ❤️ it doesn't help I dress up like them lol homies now out in public with red converse on top.
I hide my hair under my in my black champion snapback and black oversized hoodie usually too with my face mask on sometimes can be confusing experience to people who see me out in the open
Like Courtney will freak out if she thinks she stinky
Based on my personal experience in University I used to have a long routine of 5 days to get ready to even consider going on a date with someone everyday I would brush my teeth three times , twice daily flossing them! A night when I wasn't spending the time with some random guy or person I would have my retainer in at 8:00 with a facial typing away and fixing my papers before they were due in 2 weeks listening to my roommate or letting her explain her essay on the legal system. And as a psychology major and her as the law major or pre-law we actually helped you each other a lot and made sure to find the right etiquette or whatever she needed to make sure she won her fake cases or got the highest grade she could. By university I was c student and burn out hah no more A's and high caliber of life and learn how to calm down and also I realize I wasn't God's gift to man but I could use my ability to copy everyone's energy to use this God complex against others that annoy me often.
Basically: Courtney
5:00am Awake
5:30 am Yoga and pray/fight God again
6:00 to 8:30 am at the gym deadlifting with her best gal
9 long ass shower ritual, goat milk soap bar from Australia, rice water Shampoo and conditioner bar like from kitsch, body scrub lavender of course, then outside of shower routine eye cream for sensitive skin and to lessen dark circles, rose oil like Instituto Espanol Rosa Body Oil then drying herself up putting on Tree Hut’s Vanilla Whipped Body Butter to finally spray once her old rarely used Justin Bieber Someday Eau De Parfum the two sprays of Bath & Body Works A Thousand Wishes Fine Fragrance Mist, shaving/plucking/waxing/ new or fix nails on Thursday to Saturdays, she shaped heart somewhere with purple jewelry of a C
Shower early
Bath rarely afraid of uti her mother told that at a young age she afraid of finding out
Her other rituals usually at night. She carries emergency bags in her thick ass backpack 4 chapsticks 2 unopened different vanilla to mango to cotton candy to pumpkin spice, sewing kit, a mini first aid, 6 water bottles somehow, her lunch, her laptop, spare clothes just incase, and everything else she needs for the day!
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squishy-gumbie · 2 years
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I drew Garroth first joining the guard training!
My personal HC is that he joins after leaving Okhasis and ppl are all like “eyyo why is this small man who is built like he’s never done a days work tryna be a guard?” and have doubts about him succeeding, but then he absolutely destroys the training and becomes one of the most well renowned warriors in the region.
Like I love how yall have your head canons of Garroth being a mammoth space heater for Phoenix Drop and super swole and huge, but i’m personally in favour with short Garroth who gains and works hard for his combative ability and muscle. (wow it’s almost like i’m projecting my trans ideals onto this man as a short afab nb that wants big muscle and strength)
Also, I am on board the trans Garroth train until the day I die, so he has a binder and choppier mid length hair from when he cut it himself after leaving Okhasis. He actually likes his hair kind of long, but cropped the front short for functionality purpose. mans needs a proper barber tho (this is when Laurence comes in and then boom, gay)
//TW for gender dysphoria//
I feel like Garroth would be dysphoric with his face, and therefore wears the helm on top of also hiding his identity. It’s a personal hc of mine, and I think that he’d overtime gain more rugged and traditionally masc facial features through extended combat without the helm.
//End of TW//
Lmk what you ppl think about this hc, and any art advice is appreciated too! (ugh i should’ve made the shirt more opaque i wanted that cool thin blouse effect but now it looks weird whatever skdhdksdh) i am still new to this program and drawing tablet. I also haven’t rewatched diaries in a while, but i rly don’t wanna bc Jesson is the bane of my existence oh my god i have a whole ass NOVEL about the white hot rage i feel thinking about them ok bye lmao
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danganronpa2 · 2 years
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also phoenix and edgeworth are INFURIATING oh my god this is some pride and prejudice shit i want to hit them on the head until the two of them finally go kiss each other and stop making me watch this insane and needless drama. in PUBLIC. jesus christ. before playing aa i just thought it was the obligatory overhyped gay rivals ship of the game but no this is actually painful i cant believe the game made us watch all that and then was like "soooo now pearl is gonna talk about how in love maya and phoenix are" YOU CANNOT COVER YOUR ASS SO EASILY CAPCOM!!!!!!! FREE ME FROM THIS HELL
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