Phobia│Bang Chan

Phobia │Bang Chan

Synopsis: Relationships were about give and take. Putting in effort and compromising, but there was only so much you could do when he stopped trying. Based on Phobia by Stray Kids

Genre: IdolAu, One shot, Angst, Romance, Hurt/Comfort, Song Fic? 

Word Count: 4444

Masterlist 

Six weeks.

It had been six weeks since you’d actually seen Chan. Normally you’d be understanding he was a very busy man. Songwriter, singer, producer, rapper, and leader he was in high demand especially these days. He was working a full length album for Stray Kids and even assisting in the production of fellow label mates, but six weeks was just too long to go without actually seeing your boyfriend. It wasn’t as if he was on tour or promoting he was just a few blocks away at the studio that he basically barricaded himself in.

Chan being a workaholic was pretty normal. Him not sleeping and spending hours or days in the studio wasn’t unusual. But once in a while, around album time it got bad.

You made sure that you brought food, and clothes and just dropped them off for him. Occasionally you’d get Felix to deliver something since you knew he’d have a slightly easier chance of getting Chan to actually eat something instead of continuing to work himself to death.

Normally it wouldn’t be this bad, you had a life of your own so you understood keeping a healthy distance from one another and that was part of your relationship that worked so well. You both loved each other, but you valued alone time. You worked full time at an office and it was pretty daunting, and having some time to yourself was nice. It allowed you to go and visit your mom, and to spend some time with friends, even indulge in your hobbies. 

Dating Chan for three years had gotten you used to his routines and how he got when it was album time. However six weeks started to make you wonder if you were even still in a relationship. He’d call occasionally here and there for a few minutes, but he hadn’t been home in over a month. 

If it wasn’t for his weekly vlives for Stays, you wouldn’t even get to see him. On a particular night you caught one. Him going live at an unsettling 4am. In your defense you were also awake but him not being home in your bed had made sleep hard to come by.

He put on that beautiful smile for Stays. Entertained, gave warm words of comfort, shared his favorite songs and listened to their suggestions. Although he smiled the entire time. He looked so tired. His skin, paler than usual. He was always pale but you never thought he looked sickly. His skin wasn’t as bright, slight bags noticeable under his eyes. His hair, not as shiny and bouncy as it normally was. He looked so physically exhausted. He hid it well, to not worry Stays but you knew. 

At the very end of his broadcast he wished Stays goodnight, gazing at the camera and for a whole moment it was like he was all yours again. 

I'm stuck with a phobia

Although I want to stay with you

I'm stuck with a phobia

I can't go there, where you are

I can't approach you

It was like he could prioritize you, because you were a Stay and he loved his Stays. “Big hug” he smiled, going in to hug his camera, wrapping his arms around it. And the moment he came in close, the screen filling with his chest your body tensed as if you were actually being embraced. A soft smile grazing your face because that was the warmest you felt in six weeks. That was the most attention he’d given you in six weeks and you shared it with thousands of others. 

You had the day off and you were determined to get Chan out of that studio even if it was only for a few hours to have a good lunch. He needed fresh hair, he needed the break. You managed to get a little done up today. Your comfortable jeans traded in a favor of a light sundress that hugged your form in the right places. Your hair down, neatly styled, framing your face. Your make up topped off with a nice glossy red that complimented your skin tone.

The walk to the studio was nice, the weather had been pretty amazing the past few days and it would have been a shame to let it go to waste. Walking into the JYP studio you waved to the receptionist, who had once again given you a small smile. She had gotten used to your visit and she would do her best to try and get Chan to at least come out but it wasn’t her fault your boyfriend was a workaholic.

You smiled brightly seeing a familiar face walk down the hall. “Hey How are you!” you chimed waving to Changbin. You met Chan through Changbin a few years back. You’d been a close family friend and it was a meeting that was merely by chance but you and Chan hit it off and the rest was history. It only brought you and Changbin closer, and he'd been a welcomed constant in your life, acting more so as a surrogate brother. 

He brought you into a big hug, squeezing just a bit and patting your head. “Long time no see, you look beautiful.” he looked at you proudly. ”

“It’s been a while” your mood seemed to brighten greatly as soon as you saw him. “How’s Chris?”

His smile faltered for a bit. “Honestly…he's in one of those moods…he finished his new track weeks ago but..he just hasn’t been able to record it properly…you know how he gets…expecting absolute perfection…” he sighed. “It’s wearing all of us out, him and Jisung keep getting into it”

“He hasn’t been home in over a month…” you looked down.

“I figured as much…His studio basically became an apartment…He won’t even go back to the dorm” he crossed his arms over his chest “He’s being way too hard on himself. If a studio is supposed to represent your mind then his is just a mess right now…I don’t think he’ll ever get the song perfectly if he doesn’t take a break.”

“I was hoping to get him to take a break today…ya know have a lunch date. Go for a walk, enjoy the weather” you gave him a hopeful smile. “Wishful thinking?”

He chuckled “I think that’d be amazing for everybody.” he whispered “He’s been driving the staff absolutely crazy.” he gave you his studio key and a small wink. “Good luck, I’m gonna go grab a drink” he walked down the hallway back to the lobby.

You unlocked the door to the studio and was floored to see just how cluttered it was. Chan wasn’t exactly the tidiest person in the world but this was beyond ridiculous. Clothes, blankets and pillows covered the couch, the garbage can was overflowing. You were grateful that he wasn’t one for alcohol, energy drinks or caffeine but there was an alarming amount of juice bottles. The sugar probably being the only thing keeping him wired.

Chan turned around hearing the door open. “Changbin, I need you to run your rap through one more time something’s just not-” he stopped and furrowed his brows seeing your face. 

A soft smile formed on his face, he really did miss you. Your beautiful smile, your bright energy always made you his haven, but right now it was a distraction. He needed to finish this song. Seeing you was supposed to be his reward for finishing everything. He wanted you to be proud of him the next time you saw him.

He wanted to be able to present to you his hard work. But right now he had nothing. He had about seven unfinished songs and nothing he was proud of. He didn’t want you to think his hard work was for nothing. He’d been working non stop for six weeks and had nothing to show for it.

“Chris...” you stepped into the room and moved closer to him.

He stood up and pulled you into a hug, kissing the top of your head. “Babe…what are you doing here?” He sighed happily feeling how you fit so perfect against him. How with just the feeling of your small arms around him his anxiety was lifting.

I want to hold you in my arms so bad

Even if I treasure you

You're so precious it isn't enough

You're radiant

The more you shine, the more I tremble as I get closer

“I missed you so much.” You leaned your chin on his chest. “I wanted to go out to lunch…” You missed his warmth, how safe you felt in his strong arms, the way the lul of his heart instantly calmed you. Your eyes softened as he caressed your cheek, running his thumb against your cheek.

“I missed you too, but I’ll take you out when I finish the song.” He kissed your forehead. He intended to pull away but he couldn’t. His lips found your mouth as he pulled you into a sweet, and tender kiss. Your lips moved against his lovingly as he gripped his shirt. It was the most intimate contact either of you had in a long while. He cupped your face, pulling away softly. That would be enough to hold him over. You just had to wait for him. 

 “I’m sorry Babe but there’s still so much I have to do” he reluctantly let you go and moved to sit back at his desk. “I would love to goof off but the guys are counting on me” he slipped his headphones back on and turned his attention back to his laptop.

You gasped, feeling him pull away so suddenly. “Chris…” Watching him get back to work as if you weren’t even there broke your heart. Six weeks of not seeing each other and you got a hug, and an ‘I miss you’ before he just dismissed you. Did he really miss you? Did he even care? You turned away, biting your lip and keeping your tears at bay. It was just so frustrating.

He had already slipped his headphones on and got back to work. You didn’t want your visit for be for nothing. You were hoping to help him in some way. You wanted to get him to take a break but he made it very clear he had no intention of leaving.

You cleaned up the blankets, folding it neatly on the couch and frowned seeing all of your notes and letters you wrote him for encouragement just crumbled in the trash. They were just tossed aside, like they were nothing. 

Like you were nothing. 

You’d seen how he so carefully took care of his letters from Stay’s each one saved and delicately handled. Preserved in a box to later act as motivation for him. And yours just crumbled like they were trash.

Then it hit you. Why were you even doing this?

At the thought of me making you smile

This shaking becomes in a little happiness

Don't know why I'm like this

Even if I pretend to not be bothered

My heart is racing like it'll burst

He turned around and saw that you were still standing there staring at the garbage. “Baby I really need to work, why are you still here?”

“What is this…” you mumbled, your fist tightened. You turned around, tears threatening to spill out. “What are we even doing?”

“What are you talking about?”

“I…we haven’t even seen each other in weeks and you don’t even care.”

“Don’t start this, we agreed that work comes first.”

“I agreed not to guilt trip you when you have concerts and tours, and you agree to understand when I have to work over time but this isn’t the same thing Chris…you’re just refusing to come home…what about me? where do I fall in your priorities?”

“Is that what this is about? I don’t need this right now! I need to finish the album!” You flinched hearing him raise his voice. He was known to have a bit of a temper but he almost never raised his voice to you. “The guys, the company, JYP, Stays, everyone is expecting me to put out the next big hit. The comeback is in a few weeks and I’m not ready! I don’t have time for you to sit here and just bitch about it!”

“A bitch? is that what I’m being….” you whispered. “I just wanted to see my boyfriend…” tears streamed down your face as you stepped closer to him. “I always support you…I make you food, and bring you clothes, and always encourage you. I’ve always been your biggest fan, but you’re not taking care of yourself… You’re making yourself go mad sitting in the studio all day, you’re pushing yourself too hard and-”

“The only thing making me go mad right now is you! So why don’t you do me a favor and leave!” He kicked over the chair and yelled. “Do us both a favor and get the fuck out! I don’t need this!”

You bit your lip and shook your head “Y-You don’t mean that…” you stepped closer slowly. “Chris…you’re just mad…Let’s just calm down…and we can-”

“Leave! Why are you still here!?” In his fit of anger his hand swung out hitting the can on his desk causing it to fling at you. It flailed past you, hitting the wall.

You screamed from the sudden movement and shielded your face feeling it splash on you. Even though it didn’t hurt you, it scared you enough. All in one day Chan yelled and threw something, he’d never done something like that before and for the first time you can say that you were genuinely afraid of him.

The second it hit the wall it was like his anger began to dissipate. Seeing the fear in your eyes he stepped closer but you stepped back and let out a yelp, cringing as he lifted his hand toward you. He just meant to caress your face, but you wouldn’t let him get that close. You couldn’t look at him, you were almost frozen in fear, you just couldn’t bring yourself to make eye contact.

He called out your name in a soft desperate whisper, but you shook your head. “I’m…I’m sorry, it was an accident...”

There was a loud bang on the door which only caused you to scream again. “It’s just me” Changbin opened the door and let himself in “I heard yelling what-” he looked down at your small shaking form. Tears streaming down your face, you were literally shaking, something splattered on your sundress. ”What the hell happened? Are you ok?”

You pushed past him, sniffling as you ran out of the building. He stared at Chan in disbelief. “What did you do?”

You hurried home going as fast as your feet would carry you. Honestly you should have taken the scenic route, there was nothing to rush home to. Your apartment, far too large holding nothing for you. You sighed looking down, you had been ignoring the pestering feeling that this wasn’t a home anymore. It lacked warmth, life, him. All the memories that you once cherished were nothing but photos on the wall.

You just couldn’t do this anymore. 

You couldn’t be the only one trying.

You packed up your largest suitcase, filling it with as much of your clothes as you could. Anything that couldn’t fit in the suitcase was stuffed in boxes, books, photos, anything that you contributed to this shared apartment. It would have been easier just to pack up Chan’s things since he had a lot less things as you did, but you couldn’t bring yourself to touch his stuff or to stay here a moment longer. The apartment looked much colder without your touch. It was as empty as you felt.

Stay with me

Don't hesitate no more (Don't hesitate)

There's no point in speaking

As long as I'm in front of you

Back at the studio Changbin grabbed Chan by his collar. “Chris what the hell was that?!” his grip tightened.

Chan looked down. He regretted the whole situation. He never meant for it to escalate so much, he just didn’t understand why you couldn’t just leave him alone and let him do this for work. He was also aware that the situation looked a lot worse than it was. “I didn’t hit her…” he felt the need to clear it up.

Changbin scoffed. “Do you think that you’d still be standing if I thought for a second that you laid a hand on her?” He wasn’t usually this aggressive, but he had gotten so close to you, and loved you very much. If you were to get hurt because of someone he introduced you to he’d never forgive himself.

“I just…lost my temper…” He grunted pulling away from Changbin. “Why can’t she just let me work?”

“Because she loves you! She wants you to be healthy and happy and sane!” Changbin crossed his arms over his chest. “Because she doesn’t want you to end up making yourself sick”

“She wasn't understanding at all!”

“Oh no the girl that goes out of her way every day to drop off clothes and food for her boyfriend. The girl that understands that you have to go away for weeks or months on end for work and never complains about it. The girl that understands that you get annoyed when she comes to see you but she still wants you to have a good meal so she sends Felix to deliver it. That girl? Are we talking about the same girl? The girl that came all the way down here just because she wanted a little lunch date. Could you really not give her that? A few hours to show that you still love her.” Changbin scoffed. “She’s way too good for you…”

Chan looked down and clenched his fist. He never realised how good you were being to him, how kind. He just got spoiled by your understanding nature. He took advantage of the situation. “I messed up…I really fucked up…I yelled at her…I scared her….” he looked at Changbin. “She was really scared of me.”

“You’re going to lose her…” He sighed “And since I care about her well being that doesn’t actually sound like a bad idea.” He turned away. “Either fix it, or sit here sitting in you own self pitty..I can’t fight your battle…not this one.”

It still took another two days before he made it back home. Somehow he did manage to finish the title track, up to his standard. Jisung and Changbin were going to work on his guide for some of the B-sides and he was going to take some time off. 

He picked up a bouquet of your favorite flowers, and a teddy bear to apologize on the way. Unlocking the door he sighed “Babe…I’m home.” he announced as he slipped off his shoes. As he walked into the apartment he looked around frantically. The walls were bare. All of the photos you had were removed, the little plants that you decorated the apartment with were gone, his bookshelf that you filled with all of your favorites was now empty. He dropped the flowers and bear and ran into the bedroom. The bed was neatly made but all of your clothes were gone, half the closet stripped bare. It was like you were never there. As if you completely lifted out of his life.

I'm stuck with a phobia

Although I want to stay with you

I'm stuck with a phobia

I can't go there, where you are

I can't approach you

A week had passed and he was unable to reach you. You refused to answer his phone calls, your friends, and family refused to tell him where you were. It wasn’t until he caught you leaving your office building that he finally saw you.

You had worked overtime that night just to finish off your workload that you were slacking on. You’d been staying at an airbnb for an extended stay while you looked for an apartment. The rest of your things in storage at your parents place. It wasn’t permanent, but this transitional period felt good. Like you were finally doing something to take back your life. You froze hearing your name being called, knowing the voice all too well. He grabbed your wrist softly, pleading for your attention. He turned you to face him. He looked so sad, you just weren’t prepared to see his face like that. “Chris let me go…”

“Why’d you leave?”

“I’m surprised you noticed”

“I came home and you weren’t there…”

“You told me to leave.” You yanked your hand back from him.

“Leave the studio. Not my life.” He looked down. “I missed you…I didn’t know where you were… if you were safe… I was so worried.”

You sighed. “It only took me leaving for you to get that….All the nights I spent alone…you didn’t even care. When you were locked away in the studio you didn’t know if I was home safe, and you know what Chris? You didn’t care”

“I care!” he groaned, not meaning to yell at you. “I care…I always care…I’m so in love with you… please…just give me a chance to explain everything …please…even if it’s the last chance please…just…give me this..”

Every time I meet you

I shake, shake

Your voice echoes loudly in my head

Saying I can do even better

I boldly shout

I know too well that chances only come once

I'll do anything for you

*So that you can believe in me*

You sighed deeply before leading him back inside your office, borrowing one of the empty meeting rooms giving you two some privacy. This wasn’t the kind of talk you wanted to have publicly and you’ll be damned if you ever returned to that apartment again. Sitting across the table from him you gave him the coldest look you could muster. Arms crossed over your chest as you glanced at your watch. “Talk”

He looked down, trying to find the courage to speak.  “I’m sorry…it’s just…you’re so good to me…you’re beautiful…and kind…and you love me more than I deserve…” he sighed. “Changbin’s right…he’s always been right about you being too good for me..but I figured if I worked hard then maybe one day I’ll be good enough for you too.” He buried his face in his hands. “I”m not good with relationships…I’m fucking horrible at them…You’re the only one to ever put up with me this long…I was just so scared of disappointing you..scared that you’d realize that I’m not good enough”

Your eyes softened hearing him pour his heart out to you. This was new, he never opened up this much. He just bottled things up, put on a happy face for the sake of others. This was deep rooted and he never addressed it before.

“I…I figured if I stayed busy…I could never get into a fight with you…we would appreciate the time we had together…no fighting, no anger, just happiness…If I stayed in the studio and work hard then I’ll have something to prove to you that I’m good enough...Make a new album and get wins… it’s not just for you but for Stays, the guys… I have to prove to all of you...”

Placing your hand on the table, you leaned closer. Not touching him, but the gesture was huge. It showed that you were more open to him. “Why…why do you think you have to do this? There’s not a single person that doesn’t think you’re good enough. Stays...The guys...I...we all love you more than you can imagine”

He gazed up sadly. “Because…when you gusy realize I’m not good enough you’ll all leave me too...I fuck up everything good in my life…and you’re the best thing that’s happened…and you stayed…And then you left...” he slowly reached out and tried to take your hand, only if you were accepting. Seeing how you didn’t pull away he held your hand. “I wanted to beg for you back…but then I realised how better off you are without me…that if you truly love someone you let them go…a good man would let you go.”

Your eyes softened hearing that. You could feel his grip slipping on yours. You opened your mouth to say something, but you could find the words. His hand lingered on yours, not quite wanting to let you go, and to be honest. You didn’t want him to. You wanted him to fight for you, that’s all you ever wanted.

You needed him to try.

“I’m not a good man…I’m a selfish man…a man that loves you and can’t be without you..” He took your hand in his again before pressing his lips to it. “I promise…I’ll treat you better next time…no more tears…I’ll work less…I’ll cherish you better…I’ll be the man that deserves you…I” he stopped himself taking a deep breath, holding on to your hand for dear life. “I don’t know if I can be perfect but I’ll try-I’m trying”

“Chris…this can’t happen again…I love you…I really do…but…I love myself too much to let you hurt me that much again…”

“I promise! I won’t ever hurt you again…I know I’m a fuck up…but with you…I can be more than that…you make me better…I need you.”

You leaned closer taking his cheeks into your hands, forcing him to look at you. “Listen to me…you are not a fuck up. You are good enough…I love you.”

“I love you more” he leaned in pulling you into a kiss. “Come home please…” he whispered against your lips.

“Then make it feel like a home again…” you whispered back, pressing your forehead against his.

“I will…for you I’ll do anything..” he smiled softly leaning against your touch just enjoying your feeling. The feeling that made him feel whole again. He had always put his music first, it was about time he started prioritizing the very person he does all of this for. His motivation, his love, his inspiration. It all came from you, and he was going to prove how important you were to him, even if it took him a lifetime. 

Because you were worth it.

I'm stuck with a phobia

Although I want to stay with you

I'm stuck with a phobia

End.

You guys ever think about your ult and they’re just so perfect you make yourself sad over imaginary situations? Ok cool, I’m not alone. 

Also please  forgive any mistakes, or typos it’s 3am and I have to be up for work in three hours, so I’ll edit it later

Also If anyone wants to be part of my permanent tag list let me know, you’ll get alerted any time I post a new story. As of right now I’m only a Skz writer so if that’s your vibe lemme know~

Once again this is another fic I wrote like 5yrs ago and re-wrote it for this

∘Tags List:

@skzsprinkles @tophuphu @hugs4chan @channieboyo

Allotrope Christmas Special

Genre: Idolverse Pairing: Kim Junmyeon (Suho) x reader Words: 2.7k Warnings: Fluff. Smut. Happy endings. Authors Note: Merry Christmas! I wanted to share this gift with everyone for the holidays. I am such a sucker for my own story and the characters and I felt like it would be really rewarding to get to see into their future in one way or another, and so this was born. I always knew in my head how their life together would progress and what it might be like- it’s been exciting to be able to write this and now, to share it!

You smile before your eyes even open, drifting to consciousness with delighted glee buzzing along your skin. When you finally open them, your smile broadens. It’s still dark, barely five hours have passed since you fell asleep to the soft glow of white Christmas lights hanging around the bedroom. There’s excitement humming in your bones, a feeling you try to quell while your lover sleeps beside you, but the feeling erupts from your throat and manifests as a grin too wide for your lips and a wiggle in your shoulders. You’re in your happy place. It’s- you check your phone- five nineteen in the morning on your favorite holiday with your favorite person still sound asleep beside you. Except that he isn’t, you realize, when a tiny mumble slips past his pouted lips. Turning to him as you coax yourself to relax back into the linens, your smile remains. Your fingers rise to his hand, tucked in front of his chest where it landed after it slipped from your waist when you woke. His skin is silky smooth, chocolate hair just as silky fluffed about with the natural wave it carries. His lashes are long, catching the faintest glow of the warm amber light hanging from the headboard. With pink lips, his pucker continues to twitch in his dreams. Every nuance of his brings a smile to your lips and love to your heart, as dumb and corny as that sounds. Every simple thing, like the way he always flexes his toes before he lets his feet hit the floor in the morning, or the way he always stirs drinks counterclockwise three times before tapping the straw or spoon against the rim twice. At how he seems particularly happy during the early afternoons, in his own words his favorite time of day because he isn’t hungry and work is almost over so he is more productive. Things you’ve spent nearly three years getting to know, the last year of which has been spent living together in what used to be just your apartment. He moved in just after the new year, almost a year after you said your first ‘I love you’s. A laugh bubbles from your throat, remembering the first time you saw him doing his skincare routine. Hilarious and meticulous as it may be, it has grown into a beneficial routine of pampering for both of you. You recall how his skin felt under your palms just a few hours ago. The way you worshipped one another under the same glowing lights in your shared bed, naked as the angels themselves and singing praises to the heavens just the same. As if being called to life at the memory, desire for him stirs in your gut. You wonder if he is too tired or if he might be so inclined to give you a gift this early on Christmas. Unable to help yourself, your fingertips graze the side of his face, physically admiring his angelic beauty with a quiet, breathy chuckle. “Mm… ‘S funny?” he mumbles, the center of his brow twitching a fraction. His fist clenched the duvet, followed by a deeper scowl on his brow as he noticed it was not where he left it. With his eyes still closed, he splayed his fingers and reached out toward you, humming with content when he felt the warmth of your skin. Your smile grows wide again, excitement unsetting and freed once more by the simple interaction. “I am just so very much enamored with you, Kim Junmyeon. That’s all.” His brows fluctuate their shape into one of surprise, and he peeks one eye open at you, unable to stop the smile that forms. “Well good morning to you too, sweetheart.” He says with an air of smug happiness. Free to express your love for him, your fingers now find themselves pressed to his hairline briefly before you drag his bangs out of his face, giving his scalp a good scratch along the way. Junmyeon sighs with delight. He rises on one shoulder, side-eyeing the lights still glowing around the room as he stoops his head to yours and plants a soft kiss directly to your lips. Then another when your head lifts from your pillow to chase his lips, and a third when your arm snakes around his neck. His eyes find yours, wide awake. He searches briefly in silence for an answer to the question he doesn’t ask. When he finds it, he smiles, rolling himself over you completely. You hunger for his lips, more and more until the space between your bodies is nonexistent and you part only to breathe. “Merry Christmas,” you whisper against his lips as your fingers climb his shoulders. He is adjusting the linens swirled around his hips when a thought hits him. Junmyeon’s body stills momentarily, lagging in motion as he thinks. Suddenly, he reaches his arm across his side of the bed, struggling to grapple with the knob of his bedside table without rolling you on top of him, a thought you consider while you wait. His head turns back over his shoulder and he levels you with a heavy stare, locked in his uncomfortable position. It feels like the moment drags on for a long time, but you feel no signs of something wrong from him. You know him well enough to notice when he is working up his nerve. He leans back over to you with one hand strategically behind his back, “Close your eyes.” You obey his command immediately, curious at his shenanigans. “Why do I have to close my eyes for a Christmas present?” “Because I love you,” he starts, and his voice sounds shaken. Puzzled, you wait for instructions. They come in the form of a deep breath from him before you feel his fingers on your cheek. “Because I want to surprise you, and most of all, because I cannot fathom spending the rest of my life without you.” You’re certain the way your eyes pop open is not at all graceful or beautiful, but he is smiling at you for all he is worth anyway. In his free hand, is a small blue velvet box, and nestled inside of it is a shining diamond ring. After many attempts to catch your breath and form words, all you can manage is a feeble “What are you saying?” In slow motion you notice how the apples of his cheeks are tinged a rosy color that spreads to his ears and his neck, much the way he blushed the very first night you met. “I am asking, or begging or pleading for you to say yes.” You are still stunned and unable to respond for a second longer than his nerves can bear, so he babbles a little, “Please, please be my wife. Let me make you as happy as you make me and let me keep loving you.” He winces at how hard your palms come to grasp both of his cheeks in your palms. Perhaps you’re a bit nervous as well, too energized to control your movements with as much precision as usual. Rather than words, your body lifts to crash your lips to his as your arms curl around his shoulders. He kisses you back with fervor, clutching your naked back in his hand to keep you grounded against him. He kisses you harder, faster, with as much passion as he can muster with his whole body shaking just slightly. Your fingers smooth down his arms, to his hand clutching the soft blue box, holding onto it tightly. When you part from him, eyes absorbing every minute detail of the moment, his eyes are large and round and soft. Fragile with emotion and the glittering of tears he refuses to let fall or acknowledge at all because he knows how cliché it would be. It takes a moment for him to realize what you’re waiting for, until you ask. “What are you waiting for?” Junmyeon blinks at you and smiles, fumbling, “Oh, is that a ‘yes’?” His reaction and bashful smile are infectious, pulling a genuine laugh from your chest loud enough to wake your neighbors, “Oh my goodness,” you grab his cheeks again, “Yes, you goof!” Your lips smear against his in an effort to defend yourself from your own tears, and you both laugh. The sound is breathy and refreshing, smiling like idiots too in love to stop kissing long enough for him to slip the ring onto your left ring finger. The first thing you do once it’s on, is lay your palm flat against his chest, over the space where his heart beats strong and steady. Where it beats honestly, reassuring in the comfort of every pulse that gives him life. Your eyes catch his briefly, lit up like Christmas lights as he watches you admire the diamond there. “Well,” he whispers, unsure whether to continue, “how does it look?” You grin in return before schooling your expression into one of mock concern, “I’ve got bad news,” you sigh dramatically, “I’m afraid it looks like you’re going to be stuck with me for the rest of your life.” Junmyeon snorts in jest loudly in the intimate space of the bedroom, tossing his head back with mirth. When he returns to you, he shakes his hair from his eyes, and his lips pucker in an attempt to keep himself from smiling so hard he can’t see. “I’m glad you like it,” he declares, relief flooding his shoulders. Then he bends to steal a kiss from your lips, pulling away with only enough space to form words. “Merry Christmas, sweetheart.” He comments quietly, looking at you until it becomes too much to bear and his lips need to descend upon yours once more. It doesn’t take long to rekindle the fire from minutes ago, sparked brighter with the new affirmation of your love with the engagement. In the three years you’ve been doing this, with practiced ease you fall deeper in love with him every day. Junmyeon leans over you, slowly forcing your back into the soft linens and using one hand on your knee to spread your legs wider for him. “Time for another present,” he winks with a gentle laugh as he sinks to his abdomen on the bed. Your lover pulls your hand to him, letting his thumb catch against the ring he just gave you with a smile before he tugs your fingers to his head. He sighs in pleasure with the first tug on his hair not a minute later, tongue, nose and chin wet with your arousal and his saliva. Not that you need it, but two fingers stoke the flame of desire in your core as your hips struggle to stay on the mattress. Junmyeon swears every sound you make is more holy than any hymns the angels could sing today, every touch of your skin a greater gift than the birth of God himself, not that either of you are practiced believers. Just before you’re sent toppling over the edge, he removes his tongue and his fingers- stifling your whine of despair with his lips and the ache in your core with an easy slide of his cock that has you gasping into his mouth. You can’t count how many times you’ve done this with him. Can’t even count the times you’ve had him like this in your shared bed, let alone every other place. Even so, something is different about this time. Magical, you are sure with or without the engagement ring glittering from your finger. Perhaps it’s the pure joy of Christmas morning, coupled with your affection and utter devotion to one another that sends you toppling over cloud nine in less than a minute. The fullness of your heart, fit to burst so it spills tears down your cheeks when it overflows. Junmyeon wipes every one of them away, kissing your lips, your cheeks, your forehead and the tip of your nose as he chases you slowly into blissful oblivion. His release is quiet and gentle, buried completely with his free hand touching your cheek so delicately. As if he is holding your soul, as he sometimes does when he is so tangled in feelings he knows words can’t express. Your own hand rises to rest over his, stroking the knuckles and watching his head lift from your neck. Although dark naturally, his eyes hold a sparkling that lights him up like every Christmas tree in the city. Every bulb on every string of them around your apartment is no match for the beauty he holds. He takes a moment to admire the way your ring catches the lights behind your head, humming his appreciation. “I love you,” he confesses, turning his hand from your cheek to catch your fingers, “I am honored and, admittedly, a little amazed, that you’re mine.” A smile forms on your lips, “I think the honor is all mine.” _____________________________________ Days later, your fiancée sits beside you at the large round dinner table. The setting is beautiful. High class with tablecloths as white as the snow on the ground outside, accented with black linens and seasonal flora in golden vases around the grand ballroom. Expensive and classy are the words that best describe the scene in your mind. They pale in comparison to the man beside you. The one with golden skin and dark hair swept to the side stylishly atop his head. He’s wearing a tuxedo with his own expensive watch and cufflinks to give the image his own style. His brothers talk loudly with him, seated at the table for ten. Some of the chairs are empty, scooted from the table or not quite pushed in all of the way at odd angles. Empty, but no less warm or inviting knowing they belong to people who will return to them when food reaches the table. Junmyeon keeps your left hand with him beneath the table. He holds it gently, absentmindedly spinning your engagement ring around your finger while he talks. After dinner, you dance, reflecting on your years with him. With the other familiar and friendly faces of his company, and the sense of pride that you’ve grown so much in the time you’ve spent with him. The first time you came to an event with him, the fear of gazes that pass over you now seemed so silly. You greet them all with a smile, pressed close to the love of your life, feeling comfort and ease with the joy you see in each of the people that notice the ring on your finger. Most that you recognize already knew before this party, but the reassurance that each one resonates such approval and happiness on your behalf makes you giddy with excitement all over again. You dance late into the night with several of his brothers, each stealing you away with the promise to do it all over again at your wedding, quipping Junmyeon’s protests with the truth that he will get to dance with you forever so it is important that they steal you away for a dance at the few meaningful evenings. Neither of you says a word of protest when his youngest brother reaches for your hand last, although it doesn’t stop any of you from grinning and laughing when you take his hand and he leads you back to the dance floor. Just as the your dance with Sehun begins to come to a close, the lights dim and a shower of white lights litter the space above the ballroom. A countdown begins on a screen high on the far wall and people- yourself included- rush to their loved ones for the grand finale. The kiss to end one year and ring in a new one. You don’t remember the countdown ending, because Junmyeon finds you and catches your waist at seven seconds, and his lips find yours at six and they don’t stop until after the gold confetti that rained down at midnight has stopped. And just like that, you enter your fourth year with the love of your life, ready to count for many, many more.

Sweet and deadly - The Hidden Badass trope

Hey there, travelers!

Today’s specimen is a controversial trope I have a love-hate relationship with. When done right, it can create wonders but when creators goof this up, oh boi… This one dooms generic shonen anime series and YA fantasy stories but has the potential to elevate basically every other trope there is-this is the hidden badass.

As the name suggests, the concept is fairly simple: take a shy, introverted and generally plain character and sprinkle on a twist where they show some secret and extremely flashy superpower that nobody knew they had to save the day. We first noticed this recurring element in Japanese cartoons where the titular badass was nearly always a teenage or even younger girl with a sunshine cupcake personality that spurred every viral male protagonist in a mile radius to protect her, just to take over the spotlight when the situation got really messy. Think about Lucy from Elfen Lied, Neliel from Bleach, or more recently Elizabeth from Seven Deadly Sins. At first, both Lory and I thought this to be an anime-only thing, but from that point on, we noticed this more and more in other works of fiction. How?

Well, there are a couple of ways creators utilize this trope, ranging from bad to amazing. The anime version sees them mostly as a plot device, a convenient in-world mechanism to solve problems when other options run out. This could happen when a hero is facing an enemy he can’t match for some reason, be it bravery, foolish boldness, or necessity. In these settings changing the story could deter either the protagonist’s character or the plot itself, so an external tool is needed to solve the situation. That doesn’t sound bad in itself, but you can mock this up really quickly. 

The easiest way to annoy your reader with this is to stick to the tried out and tested formula without changing a thing. Just recreate the sprinkle cupcake with a war machine split personality, going from harmless to merciless, and push both character traits to their comic limits. You can earn bonus audience hate-points if the hidden badass has telekinetic powers or superhuman instincts and/or speed so they can massacre a military task force. 

The second easiest way is to leave this trope hanging after the situation is resolved, assuring the readers that this was solely for convenience’s sake. If you want to avoid these yuckups, you need to integrate the badassery into your world. If a little girl suddenly goes berserk and evaporates an entire city, there will be consequences. Other characters yet unaware of this power will have opinions, their perspective will change and if they aren’t the holy paladin-type, some might even try and make use of this nuclear warhead hidden inside a tiny body. Also, please for the love of God, leave telekinesis out, it’s been done a zillion times. Be creative!

Another reason for this trope is more about the heroes than the titular hidden badass. If this trope character is particularly vulnerable before the great fuck-everything-up moment, the hero might form a sort of defensive personality towards them. You know, the knight in shining armor. Then when the badassery happens they can move on to a power couple situation now on equal footing. This way the start of their relationship is more alike to many young adult romance plots (or at least the older titles in this genre), but it can grow out of the damsel-defender setting. This can be really good if handled carefully. 

The main thing here in my opinion is the power balance and consistency. If the titular badass ridiculously outshines the hero it’s just a switch between roles (which can be a great story know that I think of it, just different from our original aim). Also, if the badassery is once-in-a-lifetime, then it falls into the same category as the previous paragraph where it’s painfully obvious it’s just a plot device.

As I mentioned, this trope can amazingly complement a lot of others like it does in many western popular media. My favorite is the coupling of the hidden badass and the outcast tropes in Freeform’s Siren. (Yay, finally!)

For those of you who missed this amazing show, Siren is set in America’s west coast in the fictional town of Bristol Cove, a tourist attraction known as the mermaid capital of the world. However, the local legends get a little too real when a mysterious young girl named Ryn appears in search of her older sister allegedly captured by the humans.

Ryn is a perfect example of how to handle the outcast-badass mix. She’s a mermaid with unnatural physical strength and mesmerizing voice magic that can fry anyone’s brain making the into a lovestruck drooling idiot. Also, because of the clever choice in casting, she looks tiny, adorable, and defenseless. So far nothing deviates too much about the trope, but the show’s brilliance is realism. Ryn as a mermaid knows jack shit about human society, and although she’s a quick study because of her more advanced brain functions, it takes a long ass time until she figures out to wear clothes, why not to kill anyone and how her siren song affects the humans around them. Without the help of marine biologist and lovestruck drooling idiot Ben, she couldn’t step outside and walk for a minute before killing someone and getting herself discovered and hunted like her sister. She is terrifying and powerful, but she needs humans to navigate her through society and eventually reach her goal. This element stays with her throughout the 4 seasons of this show (as of now). Her dissimilarity always and forever means certain benefits but handicaps as well, which creates a feeling that it’s an organic part of the show’s world and not just a plot element to sometimes cause trouble.

There are a lot of other tropes the hidden badass mixes with, like the sexy bad guy or the chosen one, but I think I rambled on for long enough for now. I hope you enjoyed it, and if you have a favorite hidden badass, feel free to share it! Also, what did you think of Siren?I’ll see you next week, stay sharp, travelers! Cheers,Dar

Broken Flowers - Part 2

Pairing: Kim Taehyung x Reader, Ft. Min Yoongi

Genre: Angst

Words: 1593 omg what

Summary:  You wondered if he cared for the last three years. You wondered if there was other girls besides the one he told you about. You wondered until it was the only thing that you brain thought about. Even in your sleep, if you were lucky enough to fall asleep long enough, all you saw was Taehyung. His hands all over her. The hands that used to hug you. The hands that used to wrap around your waist and comfort you. You saw his lips on hers. The lips that kissed you ever so softly yet filled with passion. The lips that trailed all over your body during a steamy night. You saw Taehyung with another girl, when he was only ever supposed to be yours.  

A/N: PART 2 OF BROKEN FLOWERS ARE U GUYS READY, also whats going on between y/n and yoongi? what is taehyung going to do? stay tuned for more details ofdsgjrieo

Not a word had been spoken between you and Taehyung since that day. Of course, you really didn't want to speak to Taehyung. What was there to even say to him? Would he really even comprehend your words, yet alone how pain and sadness he had caused you? Did anybody even understand the feelings that were rushing through your veins, even 2 weeks after that day? If they couldn't understand it, they could sure see it. Your eyes didn't have that shining bright sparkle in them they once held, your frame now thin and weak, and the sunken circles under your eyes were enough to tell anybody you hadn't sleep decently lately. You wondered if Taehyung even cared about what he did. There was no calls, no texts from him. Although there was no reason for you to answer, you were still hoping to find a some sort of proof that he at least cared. 

You wondered if he cared for the last three years. You wondered if there was other girls besides the one he told you about. You wondered until it was the only thing that you brain thought about. Even in your sleep, if you were lucky enough to fall asleep long enough, all you saw was Taehyung. His hands all over her. The hands that used to hug you. The hands that used to wrap around your waist and comfort you. You saw his lips on hers. The lips that kissed your ever so softly yet filled with passion. The lips that trailed all over your body during a steamy night. You saw Taehyung with another girl, when he was only ever supposed to be yours. 

Numb.

You were completely and utterly numb. Nothing interested you. You had no appetite, you had no desire to sleep. No desire for anything. Even with the rest of the BTS members calling you and texting you, you had no energy left inside of you to even answer them. 

But of course, the first time you checked your phone in almost a week, you saw it. Twitter was blowing up with the news that Taehyung had been unfaithful to you, his loving girlfriend of 3 years. As you scrolled through Twitter, you saw news outlets, gossip websites, fans, and even a few other idols commenting on the devastating news. Although most of the comments were asking Taehyung why the hell he would do that, and what was going through his mind, and other comments were showing you support, you still hated all the attention on you. You hated that now everybody knew Taehyung went somewhere else to find love, attention, or whatever it was he was looking for. You hated that now everybody knew you were wondering why you weren't good enough for him. You hated how everybody now knew that 3 years meant absolutely nothing to Taehyung, and he was willing to throw it away in a second. And in an instant, all over your social media was gone. You deleted it. You deleted everything. You didn't want to see it. Why couldn't everyone just leave it alone? Why couldn't they just leave YOU alone? You didn't need to be reminded of what happened just a few weeks ago, you didn't need to be reminded of the event that made you feel everything, yet nothing all at once.

News about you dissapearing off of the internet must have spread quickly, because you awoke a few hours later to the sound of your cell phone ringing. You rubbed your eyes as you sat up, grabbing your phone and seeing Yoongi's picture pop up on it. Suddenly your heart started racing. Why was Yoongi calling you? You hadn't spoken to him since that day either. You weren't really sure why Yoongi calling made you nervous, or made your heart skip a beat. Sure, you were well aware of the fact that he didn't like you while you were dating Taehyung, but he was never extremely rude to you either, he just preferred to keep his distance. The most kindness he had ever showed to you in fact, was just two weeks ago, when he was comforting you in the bathroom. 

You must have gotten to wrapped up in your thoughts, because suddenly a notification popped up from Yoongi and your phone was no longer ringing.

Yoongi 6:27 PM

: please call me back. or text me. I really want to talk to you.

Taking a deep breath in, you decided to text him back.

hi yoongi, sorry I missed your call. I was sleeping. Whats up?

Yoongi 6:29 PM:

Are you okay? 

His directness surprised you. You were confused, why was he asking you this?

Yeah, I'm fine. Why....?

Yoong 6:30 PM:

Because of whats going on Twitter. I saw you deleted your account.

You weren't sure what to respond. You questioned internally why suddenly Yoongi cared so much. Maybe he was trying to get information out of you to tell Taehyung. But the more you thought about it, you knew Yoongi wouldn't do that. He doesn't like to be involved in other peoples business. After a few minutes of you not responding, Yoongi decided to text again.

Yoongi 6:36 PM:

Listen. You don't have to talk about it but I know you're probably not okay right now. Do you want to come over to the dorms? He is not here, he's actually out of town while were on break for a few days.

You thanked Yoongi internally for not using Taehyungs name. Even though you knew who he was talking about, it still hurt seeing his name. You also cracked a slight smile at Yoongi's bluntness and slight awkwardness. The first smile you've cracked in over 2 weeks, and you didn't even realize it yourself. 

I don't know Yoongi... I don't really look the best right now and I honestly don't even know if my car has enough gas to make it all the way to the dorms...

Yoongi 6:39 PM:

Please? I'll pick you up. Seokjin-ah is cooking a bunch of food for everyone and we'd really like it if you were here. We want to make sure you're okay.

You're not really sure what came over you, but the thought of being around your favorite group of boys and eating Seokjin's food made you feel a little bit lighter.

  Okay Yoongi. I'll come over. I can be read in an hour.

Yoongi 6:42 PM:

Okay sounds great. I'll be there. 

An hour and half later, 6 of the BTS members and you were sitting around the dinner table at the dorm. Namjoon eyed Yoongi suspiscisiouly as he pushed Jungkook out of the way just to sit next to you. "Wow, Yoongi hyung, I didn't know you were so fond of Y/N." You giggled as everyone started eating, ignoring the way Yoongi blushed and mumbled something incoherently under his breath. The 7 of you sat and talked for a good while, and none of them brought up the cheating incident even once, which you were thankful for because all of the delicious food and endless banter made you forget about it for the first time in 2 weeks.  Eventually, Namjoon suggested watching a movie as the night was still pretty young. You agreed and ended up helping Jin make some popcorn and drinks, despite all the food everyone had just consumed. As you and Jin walked into the living room where the rest of the boys were, Seokjin sat down next to Namjoon, and you realized all the other spaces were already taken, except the one next to Yoongi. You shyly walked over and stood before him. "Yoongi, is it okay if I sit here?" You asked, the glow of Namjoon turning the television on lighting up your face, and in Yoongi's eyes, even though you looked tired and you had minimal makeup on, you looked like an angel. Yoongi gulped and nodded, "Of course, here." He scooted over to make some more room for you. You had no idea Taehyung would come home early to the dorms tonight.

And Taehyung had no idea when he came home, he would see you snuggled up to Yoongi, you two asleep under the same blanket. 

It was about two hours after the movie had started, Jungkook and Hoseok had lost interest and was  goofing around, Jimin and Seokjin were half asleep, and Namjoon was the only one left actually watching the movie. You and Yoongi were sharing a blanket, with his arm loosely around you as your body sunk into his side, the warm material of his soft sweater against your face bringing you some kind of comfort. And it was probably a good thing that you were a heavy sleeper, because you never heard Taehyung come in.

"Guys! I'm home!" Taehyung's booming voice seeped through the air of the dorm, awakening Seokjin and Jimin, as an internal panic set deep inside of Namjoon arose, looking over at you and Yoongi. Even if it was innocent, Namjoon knew Taehyung, and he knew if he saw you and Yoongi right now he would create an even bigger mess than he originally did.  Everyone, besides you and Yoongi, straightened up as Taehyung stepped into the living room.

He almost stopped dead in his tracks as fast as he came into the room. His eyes landed on you and Yoongi before anyone else.

"Yoongi-sshi, why are you touching Y/N like that?"And in a second, Taehyung felt a fraction of what you felt, picturing him with another female. 

Clair de Lune | A Hoseok Christmas Special

A/N: so this here is a surprise x-mas gift for my lovely and beautiful moon @prinzelee​ I felt so shitty because I feel like I constantly tell you I’m going to write you things but never do and so I decided this christmas I FOR REAL would write you something. 

I just feel bad because I haven’t written in so long and I’m so rusty but I hope you can still enjoy this even if it just a little bit^^; and I’m sorry if I failed at editing this and missed some typos...

Characters: Female!Reader x Hoseok Genre: fluff Word Count: ~1800 

One of your favorite memories as a child is one Christmas Eve night. With excitement at what was to come the next day racing through you, you toss and turn in your bed. You’d rewritten your Christmas list more times than you could remember and you couldn’t wait to see which gifts your parents had decided on. You were only eight when you found out there was no jolly old man who flew through the skies on one magical evening. But that didn’t stop you, now ten, or your family from enjoying this winter holiday.

Deciding you needed a midnight snack, you shuffle out of bed and tiptoe out of your room. The house is chilly and dark, and if it weren’t for the faint light of the christmas tree coming from the living room, you’d be a little frightened. In the living room, you find the bottom of the tree already stuffed with presents and your eyes widen at the sight. You hurry over and stare at all the gifts in awe. They come in all shapes and sizes and it takes everything in you not to pick one up and shake it.

Turning back towards the kitchen to complete your original goal, you catch sight of the plate of cookies on the coffee table. A few of them have huge bites taken out of them and you giggle at the sight, loving that your parents go the extra step.

In the kitchen, you do your best to stay quiet as you pull the bread out of the pantry and set it into the toaster. Grabbing the butter and jam out of the fridge, you lean against the counter and wait.

Straight across from the kitchen is the sliding doors that lead into the backyard. Through the night you can vaguely see the tree house your father built for you a few summers ago. Something flutters past your view and your eyes narrow to try and make out the movement. Just then, the toaster pops and you jump slightly. Grabbing the bread, you quickly spread the butter and jam on it before setting it aside. Running to the front door, you slip into your winter coat and grab your boots. Then you roam back into the kitchen to grab your toast in your other hand.

Making your way to the sliding doors your peer out the glass and your curiosity turns into a bright smile. Snow!

Quickly sliding into your boots, you do a messy knot of the laces and then unlatch the door. With your toast in hand you step through the door and into the freezing night. The yard is lit only by the warm glow of the full moon peeking through the clouds every so often. As you nibble on your snack, you watch in wonder as the fat flakes of slush float down and combine with the thin layer already on the ground.

It had snowed early in the morning the day before but you were asleep when it happened. You were ecstatic when it remained in your yard all day. But now, you’re finally witnessing the phenomenon for the first time this year.

You hear the sliding door from the house next door click open and rush to the fence that separates the houses.

“Hoseok!” You whisper shout. “Isn’t this amazing?!”

You know without looking who’s on the other side, and sure enough the shy voice of your best friend answers back. “I-it’s too c-cold. You’ll get sick, Y/N.”

“But it’s so pretty!”

Hoseok doesn’t answer and you pout even though you knew he couldn’t see it.

After a moment, Hoseok finally says, “I think the moon is prettier…”

“You can barely see it right now.” You watch the snow in awe, reaching a hand out to try and catch a few flakes.

“Sure,” Hoseok responds. “But you always know it’s going to be there. Even if it’s covered with clouds right now, you know it’s still shining and watching over us.”

You grin and stuff your fingers through the thin space between two wood planks of your fence. “You’re so funny, Seokkie.”

Gently, you feel his fingertips brush against yours, the small touch bringing warmth to the chill in your hands.

Present Day

You come late at night, the holiday madness extending your shifts. The apartment you share with Hoseok is dark and a little chilly, letting you know that he hasn’t returned home yet. You toe off your shoes and then pad into the kitchen, turning on the heater on your way. Flicking on a few lights you sigh as you take in the minimal decorations. You and Hoseok had been too busy to truly decorate how you wanted, but you’re still happy with the few fairy lights and tree you were able to get.

As you set your purse down on the counter and start to unwind your scarf, you hear keys jingle in the lock and turn around with an excited smile. After the door shuts, Hoseok comes shuffling into the kitchen and greets you with a grin just as wide.

“Merry Christmas!” You exclaim and he laughs as you all but pounce into his arms. Despite saying it to him this morning and even waking up next to him, you feel like you haven’t seen him in days. And now you both get tonight and tomorrow off together.

“Merry Christmas, Y/N. I’m sorry it couldn’t be a better one.”

You shake your head as you pull back a little to look at him. “Any Christmas, or any day for that matter is better with you.”

It’s true this year has been a tough one, the universe throwing too much at you in one go, but you’ve made it through it all with Hoseok at your side. At your words, he leans forward and presses a kiss to your forehead.

“Thank you, love, I feel the same.”

You two hold each other for another moment, basking in each other’s warmth. Every now and then, Hoseok’s hands roam up and down your back before giving a quick squeeze. When you two finally pull apart, Hoseok brushes a strand of your hair away from your face and smiles.

“Should we start on the cookies?”

You nod, “Let me turn on the tree and get changed.”

Once the both of you are comfortable and all the ingredients are laid out on the counters, Hoseok turns on the Christmas music and the baking begins. You have fun dancing around each other and trying to poke each other’s faces with frosting.

When the cookies are in the oven, Hoseok grabs your favorite throw blankets and the two of you pile pillows onto the ground in front of the TV. All cuddled up, Hoseok lets you choose a Christmas movie.

With his hands slowly rubbing up and down your back you get lost in the feeling of warmth and the scent of cookies in the air. You almost fall into slumber but the timer for the cookies goes off and you’re suddenly filled with a childlike joy. Hoseok trails after you into the kitchen hovers over you as you carefully pull the cookie sheet out of the oven.

“They look amazing!” Hoseok nods in agreement and goes to snatch one but you’re quick to slap his hand away. “Excuse me, mister! We need to let them cool and then we’re frosting them. We’re not going to eat them all in one sitting like animals.”

Hoseok pouts but soon pulls you into another hug. “That’s fine. You’re the best sugar cookie here anyway.”

He burrows his face into your neck as you pretend to gag at his cheesy words. “Lee Hoseok, you’re lucky I love you to pieces.”

Spinning you so you’re face to face, Hoseok moves his hands to your hips and grins down at you, his eyes scrunching into crescents. “Yes, I really am.”

After your cookie decorating and movie marathon is over, the two of you move to the balcony. Both of you now in your coziest jackets and slippers, and your blankets, you gaze up at the night sky. Your apartment is still in the city, but located far enough into the outskirts that the light pollution doesn’t affect your view too much. Every now and then you catch a shooting star in the corner of your eye and point at it too late to fully catch it.

With Hoseok’s arm around your shoulders, you lean your head on his and bask in the warmth that radiates off of him. Once in a while, Hoseok turns to press a kiss to the top of your head, his lips lingering on your skin for a moment before he leans his own head on yours.

“It’s so pretty,” you murmur.

“Hmm?” Hoseok hums back, and you know he has his eyes closed, probably close to falling asleep.

Smiling a little, you respond, “The moon. It’s watching over us again this Christmas.”

Hoseok lets out a little laugh. “You still remember that?”

“Of course I do. You were so cute as a child.”

“As opposed to now?”

You nudge him with your shoulder and roll your eyes. “You’re still cute, you goof. But you know, we’re all so carefree as children, we’re all so innocent to the world.”

Hoseok stays quiet and you assume he’s fallen asleep. Settling into the silence, you shut your own eyes and decide the two of you can sit there a little longer before going in. Suddenly Hoseok’s voice reaches your ears in a whisper.

“You’re like the moon.”

You take that in for a moment before asking, “How so?”

“Like I said all those years ago: it’s always there and you know it’ll be there, shining and warm. A solid, yet gentle presence in a world of constant change. You’re that to me. I know you’re always going to be there for me when I need you, and I hope you know that I’ll be there for you when you need me. And just like you’re my moon, I hope I can be yours.”

You pull away from him and turn to face him directly. Your sight is a little blurry and your throat a little tight as you reach a hand out to caress his cheek. “You, my love, are the sweetest and most pure thing in my life. Thank you for loving me and thank you for being with me.”

Hoseok gives you a gentle smile. “Merry Christmas, my moon. I’m sorry we couldn’t do something more festive.”

You shake your head. “I said it earlier and I’ll say it again, being here with you is all I could want for today.”

Leaning your forehead against his, the two of you sit under the moonlight enjoying the time spent together.

Intruder

A/N: This is my first time posting something in this genre, so if it sucks, I apologize. I’ve decided this will be a ten part story! It is also in 1st POV as that’s my comfort zone when it comes to writing. It’s a Mafia AU. I would also like to clarify that everything written in this story is complete fiction. 

Summary for Part One: A masked intruder makes an appearance in Mira’s apartment.

Word Count: 1,415

P. 2 Link | P. 3 Link | P. 4 Link | P. 5 Link | P. 6 Link | P. 7 Link | P. 8 Link

P. 9 Link | P. 10 (FINAL) Link

     It was dark. That much I was aware of, oh, that and I was pissed off because it was dark. The power had just gone out while I was in the middle of writing an extremely important paper for my ancient history course. With a huff, I turned my phone’s flashlight mode on to find the candles that I had, as well as my lighter. Recently, I’ve started collecting candles, not intentionally though. Just more like I never want to run out of one specific candle because I use it quite often, so I pick up another to add to the rotation.

     A loud burst of thunder booms through the apartment causing my foot to jerk and smack against the cabinet in my kitchen. I yelp and almost drop my phone, scrambling to catch it at the last moment before it hits the floor. An exasperated sigh leaves my mouth, first the power shuts off, now I’ve probably bruised my foot. Could this day get any worse?

     Fast forward a few minutes later and I have about ten of my candles spread out in the living room, all lit up. There were just enough to create a dim yellow haze of light. Walking over to the small plywood and metal bookshelf I had, I pulled out one of my favorite books. It was obvious it had been read multiple times just by glancing at it, the cover was faded and the binding was almost to the point of falling apart. Sure, the book itself may be slightly below my reading skillset, but I read it so many times for the message.

     The messages for some of the most basic books can be the most profound. This particular book’s message, at least from my interpretation of it, was that sometimes, all you need to do is listen. Sometime’s there’s no need to fill the silence with endless chatter or continually offer your own opinion, that sometimes it’s important to just listen. 

     A contented sigh left me as I settled on the couch to read the book, which would be slightly difficult considering the light I had, but at least it would be kind of relaxing. For the next thirty minutes I was wholly invested in my book, even though I knew every detail by heart, just reliving the book and the memories I’ve associated with it. After that I became slightly distracted, fighting off the urge to go grab a bag of chips to chomp on while reading. I mean, my copy of this book was already so worn out,  it didn’t need grease stains on it from chips as well. But alas, my hunger got the better of me and I made my way to the kitchen to grab chips from my pantry.

     As I stood there, debating on which bag of chips I should get, another round of thunder boomed throughout the apartment. Shortly after it was followed by lightening that lit up the entire kitchen. And just as it struck, I looked up at the window above the sink and saw my figure joined by another in it. With wide eyes and a shriek caught in my throat, I jumped around to confront the figure I’d seen in the window.

     There he stood, calm as a lake on a day with no breeze, like he hadn’t just been caught trespassing into someone else’s home. The top half of his face was covered by a dark mask that ended just below his nose, and it only had two openings for his eyes. Quickly, I backed up, my body hitting the counter faster than I thought I would, and I held a hand out in front of me, as if that would somehow stop hime from coming closer. Trembling, I reached my other hand out to try and find some sort of weapon. As soon as I felt cool metal hit my palm I grabbed it and held it in front of me, and then I looked at it. I was wielding a giant soup spoon... That wasn’t going to help me much.

     Silently, he seemed to be observing me, he didn’t move an inch. I took this time to assess his appearance. He had dark hair, that oddly looked really soft, and dark mysterious eyes. His lips were full and while his jaw wasn’t round, it wasn’t exactly square. The man that stood before me was wearing a dark leather jacket that nearly hid the navy shirt underneath it, a pair of gray skinny jeans and dark combat boots. Everything about his appearance screamed danger, alerting me of the trouble I was in.

     “W-why are... How did you get in here?” I demanded, trying to play off the stutter I started with.

     His eyes narrowed as he looked at me, as if that wasn’t what he expected me to say. “You need to find a better place for your spare key.” He murmured softly, keeping his place a few feet from me.

     “Why are you here?” I asked softly. This seemed to surprise him, as his eyes widened at my question.

     “Why does that matter?”

     “Obviously you have a reason, or you wouldn’t have looked around for my spare key.”

     The more I stood there arguing with this stranger, this intruder, the more my fear seemed to fade and an odd sense of familiarity settled over me. His voice and his mannerisms seemed so familiar and yet I couldn’t place them. And after arguing with him for close to ten minutes about what he was doing in my apartment, I was no longer afraid of him, I was mad at him. I was furious that he thought he had the right to barge into my apartment with no apparent reason, and not explain himself.

     Once again, thunder rang through the apartment, but because I’d forgotten about the storm due to my argument with the intruder, it spooked me. It made me jump forward, sending my hand that was wielding the soup spoon out and smack him in the jaw. When I realized what had happened, I was shocked. I stood back with my jaw dropped and eyes wide as he reached up to feel his jaw, which was already bruising from the force of my inadvertent hit. As his eyes landed on me I quickly snapped my mouth shut and chewed on the inside of my cheek.

     “I-I’m sorry, truly. I didn’t mean to, I just got shocked by the thunder. I swear! I’ve always been jumpy and kind of a klutz, you can ask anybody I’ve ever interacted with. I’ve probably accidentally hurt each person I’ve met--”

     “It’s fine.” He rumbled, cutting me off mid-sentence, or rather, mid-ramble.

     Then it hit me how odd it was for me to apologize for accidentally hitting the person who’d basically broke into my apartment. I huffed and crossed my arms, scrunching my nose up.

     “What?” He asked, looking at me with quizzical eyes.

     “I wouldn’t have accidentally hit you if you hadn’t decided to break in--”

     “Used a key, so technically I didn’t break in.” He cut me off brazenly.

     “Whatever! You wouldn’t have gotten hit if you hadn’t decided to trespass onto my property in the first place. So, using your words, technically this isn’t my fault.” I say, motioning to his jaw.

     This led to another argument, which after a while calmed down a bit. I was still a little suspicious of him, but he was very goof with his words and he kept distracting me, pulling my focus from the topic on-hand. Eventually we ended up in my living room having a very serious debate about the current power outage. This debate went nowhere though, and the topic was quickly changed before I could refocus on why he was in my apartment in the first place. His distractions worked, and before I knew it I was out like a light.

     When I woke up I was tucked into my bed, light shining through my small bedroom window. I shook my head as I recalled the previous nights events. There’s no way that happened, right? And I would have firmly believed that it was all just a dream, if it weren’t for the note sitting on my nightstand.

     You might want to think of a new location for your spare key, Mira. ;) -D

     Last night definitely wasn’t a dream. But why did he come in the first place?

Another one for Adrien :)

Hahahah coming at you 3 days later, as is my trademark.

Why I like themI enjoy his softer personality, the kindness and vulnerability he occasionally shows, especially as a male main character in a superhero genre. That, and how he occasionally lets it all out as Chat Noir since it’s one of the few times he’s allowed to act out. This not only allows him to act free from the reigns of his dad, but it gives him more opportunities for those flaws of hims to shine through.

Why I don’tSame as the last two answers I did, except if the show doesn’t acknowledge his flaws as actual flaws soon I am going to have a  problem with his character then. The show can’t have him acting like a brat but then not acknowledge that he’s being a brat. Let’s hope this trend stops soon.

Favorite episode (scene if movie)Origins part 2, particularly the umbrella scene, and not just because of the shippy stuff. I guess it’s really that whole side plot of getting Marinette angry over the gum, and being someone who has no positive friendships in his life, not knowing what to do about it. So he wallows a bit, confiding in Nino that he doesn’t know how to make it right. And, finally getting that first taste of !positive! interaction with someone his age in the form of solid advice, he lets himself be vulnerable in front of a stranger to explain the situation from his end, and that he really is doing all this for the first time. It was a great first step in learning how to interact with others on a healthier level than what he’s had to deal with. 

Favorite season/movielol

Favorite lineUmbrella speech, again, because of my reasons given above. 

Favorite outfitGod give them diff outfits. But his Chat Noir costume. Sleek but powerful looking : )

OTPLove square of course, with a super duper softness for adrienette, specifically pre-reveal adrienette because I’m a picky bitch.

BrotpWe haven’t got a lot from him and Nino lately but I really do enjoy when we are privileged in seeing just how much Nino cares for his bro. And to have someone like Nino, Mr. Get’s mad that his friend can’t have a birthday enough to become akumatized, Mr. Ain’t afraid to hug his friend when he’s relieved that he’s okay,  as a best friend is exactly what Adrien needs. 

Head CanonI like the idea that he’s more of a dog person. Because come on, why wouldn’t this kid want an animal that jumps all over him with affectionate licky kissies?? 

Unpopular opinionBoy, do I have some. I’ll keep it to 3. 1. He is not starved, or too skinny. Nino, Max, and Nathaniel are all skinnier than him and I don’t see anyone saying they’re underweight.2. He does NOT, under any circumstance, think that Marinette dislikes him. That whole idea is so ludicrous to me. Yes, she stutters in front of him, but she also smiles like a goof around him constantly and does things like give him good luck charms. Also I thought this idea would have died off after he gave her the most adoring, affectionate giggle-smile at her antics in Riposte, but we still have this trope happening.3. He does not think Paris hates Chat Noir. Mostly because in canon Paris loves Chat Noir. 

A wishThat his actions in copycat get addressed. 

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happenGive him all the importance in the story that they’re neglecting to give Marinette still. Hence my biggest ever NOPE BETTER NOT HAPPEN: His mom being the ultimate baddie. It’ll probably happen, but talk about overkill. The Agrestes are taking over the story in all the wrong ways and I’m pretty tired of them already to be honest. 

5 words to best describe themkind, talented, brave (not just in his heroics, but in the steps he’s taken to open up as a person), naive, reckless

My nickname for themI think it’s all the fanon nicknames that people gave him that turn me off from nicknaming any character, ever. You’ll never catch me call him son, cat son, or sunshine boy, ever. I cringe when I see it.

Sometimes its the quieter moments that speak the loudest. A story of love, laughter, and friendship carried through the years during the most wonderful season of all. Full of fluff and Christmas cheer. Interconnecting One-shots.

Fandom: Inuyasha Genre: Romance/Friendship Pairings: InuKag, MirSan, SessKagu Ch. 1 l Ch. 2 l Ch. 3 l Ch. 4 l Ch. 5 l Ch. 6 l Ch. 7 l Ch. 8 l

Chapter 9: The Night Before Christmas Word Count: 2140 Can also be found here

.

.

.

Kagome sipped on her hot cocoa gingerly as she perused the text messages she had received from Inuyasha moments ago. He had sounded upset about something and needed to come over to vent, so after pushing aside her gift wrapping and a quick, ‘See you soon!’, she had meandered into the kitchen to brew a hot pot of water and brought out a plate of cookies she had baked the night before.

Waiting patiently in the kitchen, the low hum of Christmas music playing in the background, she watched as Inuyasha pulled up in his beat-up red Ford truck. She smiled and raised a brow as he killed the engine and got out of the car, slamming the door behind him. His quick walk up to her front door spoke of boiled-over frustration, and she knew he would need a minute to vent.

“Hello, Inuyasha,” she greeted, beaming brightly up at him as she opened the door.

His pinched brows and stiff posture were anything but friendly as he stepped into the foyer, slipping off his boots and hanging his coat on the rack. “Hey,” he grumbled before making his way into the kitchen.

She followed after him as he helped himself to some hot cocoa and cookies, making himself at home as he often did. She leaned up against the counter and let him get settled at the table.

He peered around as he bit off a piece of gingerbread. “Where’s your family?”

“Out Christmas shopping,” she answered, pushing off the counter and taking a seat beside him, glad he was at least being civil this time. Usually, his foul mouth was running before she even greeted him. “Souta needed to buy some thing for his friends, so Mom and Gramps went with and made a day of it.”

Inuyasha hummed with acknowledgement and they sat in silence for a moment, Kagome waiting patiently for him to voice his true reason for visiting. Not that she was complaining - as seeing her boyfriend was always enjoyable regardless of the circumstances.

“Traffic sucked this morning,” he finally grumbled.

Kagome shrugged. “It wasn’t so bad.”

He rolled his eyes. “Keh, were we sitting in the same rush hour? Just because it fucking snows, everybody forgets how to drive!” She cleared her throat, a quick reminder to him regarding his foul mouth. “Sorry,” he off-handedly commented. “Its just that work sucked, and then I get home and nobody had shoveled. At that point it was practically ice! Never let anyone tell you snow is light – they obviously haven’t tried shoveling their driveway.”

She nodded, letting him express his irritation. Souta had been off school because of a snow day, and had spent the morning clearing their driveway, so she had gotten lucky when she came home from class that afternoon. Inuyasha, however, still lived with his father, and although often Toga would pay a neighborhood kid to shovel their driveway while he was at work or holed up in his home office, apparently today he had forgotten and had left Inuyasha to his own devices. Not uncommon for Toga, but still annoying all the same.

“Not to mention, Dad’s been in a foul mood this month because of how cold its been. Our bills are going up because of trying to keep the house warm, and he’s been cranking down the thermostat, so we practically freeze at night.”

“You can borrow my electric blanket,” she offered, knowing how much her boyfriend loved curling beneath it with her on cold winter nights.”

He scoffed. “And get my head chewed off by dad? No thanks.”

She scrunched up her nose at his brash words, but kept her opinions to herself. This was just Inuyasha’s way.

“Then I had to swing by the mall because my snow boots have holes in them and my gloves are falling apart, but of course ever since the day after Thanksgiving, everyone’s on a shopping spree for the holiday rush. I was so fed up with the crowds, I left before I even bought anything.”

Kagome glanced over at the entryway to Inuyasha’s boots, which indeed looked worse for wear. They had to be a few years old, if she remembered correctly, and he was a simple person in the fact he only had perhaps five pairs of shoes at best. Its no wonder they needed replacing.

Inuyasha exhaled deeply and took a long sip of cocoa before cramming a cookie into his mouth. Kagome took this as a sign that he was finished and gave him a smile. “You sure are grumpy for it being the Christmas season,” she pointed out.

“Bah Humbug.”

She chuckled. “Come on,” she said, standing up and placing her empty cocoa mug on the counter. She moved to the entryway and started wrapping her scarf around her neck.

Inuyasha raised a brow. “Where are we going?”

Kagome practically glowed as she smiled. “To bring you some Christmas spirit.”

He rolled his eyes, already used to his girlfriend’s Christmas antics, but didn’t deny her request. Still not really in the mood, he grumpily pulled his jacket back on and slid on his boots that were damp with snow.

She pulled him out into the front yard, breathing in the crisp evening air. A light snowfall had begun only an hour ago, gently beginning to cover the roof eaves with a thin layer of snow.

“Do you want to build a snowman?” she said in a sing-song voice.

He rolled his eyes and stuffed his hands into his pockets, replying with a clipped, “No,” that almost snuffed out her Christmas spirit. But she somehow always knew the way to cheering him up.

They started walking toward the town square, which Inuyasha griped about the whole way. Kagome simply brushed off his complaining. She smiled and tilted her head back, opening her mouth and sticking out her tongue.

Inuyasha shot her an incredulous expression. “What are you doing?”

“Catching snowflakes on my tongue.”

He shook his head. “You’re ridiculous.”

She chuckled. “Hey! It’s harder than it looks.” Her eyes brightened as excitement filled her voice. “I know! Let’s see who can catch the most!”

“No way.”

“Come on, Inuyasha,” she urged, nudging him playfully. “Are you scared I’m going to win?”

And after so many years of knowing her, Inuyasha shouldn’t have been surprised she was able to find his weakness. Challenge him to any competition, and he was sure to get fired up.

“Doubtful,” he replied with a smirk, the frustration and anger he had come storming over with beginning to melt away. “I’ll kick your butt any day.”

He opened his mouth and stuck out his tongue just as she had done moments ago, causing her to laugh with amusement as she mirrored the action. For several minutes, the pair sidestepped each other as they wandered down Main Street – receiving several humorous looks from bystanders – each diving to catch a snowflake, shouting out numbers for each successful attempt.

“Thirty-four!” Inuyasha shouted triumphantly as they neared the enormous Christmas tree in the square.

Kagome moved to catch another one, determined not to lose this particular game, but managed to bump into Inuyasha, sending her off-balance toward a patch of grass and careening backwards into the snow. As soon as she hit the ground, splayed out on her back, she laughed at the silliness of it all.

Her boyfriend towered over her, chuckling at her predicament. “You okay?” he asked, holding out a hand for her to take.

“Snow angels!” she simply responded with a laugh, beginning to move her arms back and forth in the snow.

He rolled his eyes at her childish behavior, but couldn’t deny her infectious energy. He plopped down beside her in the snow-covered lawn and coped her action, waving his arms in the snow, watching as snowflakes fell from the sky, the soft glow of Christmas lights illuminating the town.

After a while, their laughter died down and they laid still. Inuyasha’s arms remained outstretched as he watched his breath puff into the frigid air. The cold of the snow soaked through his clothes, but it felt good as the searing hot anger he felt less than an hour ago dissipated completely.

Kagome suddenly rolled over and tucked herself to his side, leaning over him with a smile. Her eyes were bright, shining from the lights of the tree, snow melting into her raven hair, her cheeks blushed prettily from the cold.

“You’re beautiful, you know that?” Inuyasha murmured, reaching up and tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ear affectionately. And he meant it, in more ways than one.

She tilted her head thoughtfully. “I’ve been told that once or twice,” she teased, leaning down and giving him an Eskimo kiss.

He chuckled. “Let’s head home, you goof.”

He helped her to stand, and the pair locked hands as they ventured back toward her house. As they walked, a couple of kids rushed by them, laughter filling the air, as they carried a brightly painted star. Two townsfolk wearing angel wings and home-made halos sat near a manger, strumming on guitars and singing Christmas songs. And almost on every corner stood a man of faith, murmuring Christmas prayers to each person that walked by.

Kagome sighed deeply, and for once, Inuyasha mimicked the feeling. Ever since his mother’s death, it wasn’t often that Inuyasha felt Christmas spirit. But walking down the snow-covered street, buildings alight with multi-colored bulbs, and festive songs in the air… with the most beautiful woman of all… He couldn’t help but feel a sense of peace settle over him.

It wasn’t long before the pair escaped back into the warmth of Kagome’s home. She disappeared upstairs to fetch Inuyasha an extra set of clothes he had left there a while ago – a pair of sweatpants and his favorite hoodie – and once they were both dry, Inuyasha curled up on the couch in front of the fireplace while Kagome disappeared into the kitchen.

Expecting hot chocolate, Inuyasha was surprised when Kagome returned with a stash of eggnog. “Let’s listen to Christmas albums and get drunk,” she proposed with a grin.

Inuyasha chuckled, unsure how he could love this woman anymore than he already did, as she sat down beside him, pouring them glasses and turning on the stereo, a chorus of Do You Hear What I Hear belting out through the speakers.

He sipped on his eggnog, enjoying the creamy taste hug his throat, as Kagome curled up beside him with a throw over their laps. “You know,” she said off-handedly as they watched the flames curl and sway. “I think the best part about Christmas is that you don’t ever have to grow out of it.”

Amber eyes glinted curiously. “Is that so?”

“Yeah,” she said with a nod. “You don’t have to be a kid to love the mystery of it all. To sing in harmony. To believe in the imaginable.” She pursed her lips thoughtfully, and then, “The heart of Christmas isn’t something tangible. It isn’t found wrapped in presents or on store shelves. It isn’t even found in wonderfully cooked meals.”

He frowned. “But I love Christmas dinner.”

She giggled and slapped him playfully. “I mean, I believe that the heart of Christmas is found in you. And in me.”

For the first time, the unadulterated lingering sadness that had followed Inuyasha around year after year, especially during the holidays, evaporated completely. There would always be a part of him that would miss his mother dearly, but his desperate loneliness that had started upon her death was a little less hopeless. He would always cherish the memories of Christmas morning with his mother – bright eyes, a cup of coffee, eager anticipation, tinkling laughter – but he knew that there was another woman in his life he was making memories with; someone who made him love Christmas again.

Inuyasha leaned down and kissed her, catching her completely unaware, and causing their eggnog to spill. But he kissed her deeply, lovingly, unaware of the song ending and a new one beginning. His fingers curled into her obsidian locks as he held her tight, loving the way her body melted into his.

They inevitably pulled apart, taking shaky, shallow breaths. Kagome looks up at him, her head foggy as she tried to string a thought together. And finally, she found her voice. “Pass me the eggnog.”

Laughing, Inuyasha did as he was told and filled their glasses, receiving a stern scolding from her regarding the mess he made, before she found her place in the crook of his arm again. And as the evening wore on and the eggnog disappeared, he knew years from now they would both be looking back on tonight as a cherished memory.

I Have A Secret (About Secrets In Play)

Me, The Character:

I am the rookie on an established task force. They all call me “Boot” but my father was in this police department, and my grandfather, and as one of the youngest graduates of the academy in recent memory, I am prepared to follow in their shining footsteps. There’s something a bit funny though — everyone on my new team keeps talking about this thing that was in the papers months ago. It was all cleared up, pretty unfortunate, but one officer from this team turned out to be the responsible party. Every time they talk about it, I feel like I’m missing something, but they stop talking and give each other meaningful looks if I ask anything… About that, or about how the Lieutenant lost his eye. There’s a pool on the eye so everyone’s trying to find out. I voted swordfish but on second thought maybe pool cue would have been a better bet…

Me, The Player:

We world built this together. I am in on the secret. I delight in believing only the best of my teammates with bright eyed innocence, not that they could be hiding anything dark. Because I know the secret, I can push them in to awkward situations by asking questions that seem and feel innocent and give them all a chance to be the group who’s been through thick and thin. Playing the rookie in this game works out for me — I don’t know this genre well but I’m having a blast playing it, and any goofs can be easily covered by my newness to the team.

 Because my character is not in the know, we create all kinds of good role play opportunities at the table. 

Me, The Character:

I am the rookie on an established task force. They all call me “Boot” but my father was in this police department, and my grandfather, and as one of the youngest graduates of the academy in recent memory, I am prepared to follow in their shining footsteps. There’s something a bit funny though -- everyone on my new team keeps talking about this thing that was in the papers months ago. It was all cleared up, pretty unfortunate, but one officer from this team turned out to be the responsible party. Every time they talk about it, I feel like I’m missing something, but they stop talking and give each other meaningful looks if I ask anything... About that, or about how the Lieutenant lost his eye. There’s a pool on the eye so everyone’s trying to find out. I voted swordfish but on second thought maybe pool cue would have been a better bet…

Me, The Player:

We world built this together. I am in on the secret. I delight in believing only the best of my teammates with bright eyed innocence, not that they could be hiding anything dark. Because I know the secret, I can push them in to awkward situations by asking questions that seem and feel innocent and give them all a chance to be the group who’s been through thick and thin. Playing the rookie in this game works out for me -- I don’t know this genre well but I’m having a blast playing it, and any goofs can be easily covered by my newness to the team. [pullquoteright] Because my character is not in the know, we create all kinds of good role play opportunities at the table. [social_warfare][/pullquoteright]But the secrets. That’s really what it’s all about. Because my character is not in the know, we create all kinds of good role play opportunities at the table. Someday, maybe, it will actually come out we’ll have that moment when Ras, around whom all of the whispers swirl, will have to actually tell me what happened that night when shots were fired. But until then...until then we all get to lean in to it.

Why Have A Secret

You might say, why even have secrets if all the players at the table are in on them? Well, my gnome reading friend, gather near to these pointy hats and listen to their whispered thoughts. Having a secret drives both character actions and character evolution. Having a secret does not stay stagnant. As a character, there are two general ways to handle a secret, and they are not mutually exclusive. The first is that you are constantly working to conceal it — it will drive your actions even if it causes you to do things that aren’t in your best interest (which just makes everything more interesting). The second is that you may have confused or evolving emotions tied to your secret. You may be torn between keeping your secret and another force -- care for a person or thing that is being harmed by your silence. You may be on a path to realizing that you will still be liked and accepted if you reveal your secret. All of these make brilliant role playing opportunities at the table. Our characters are not one dimensional any more than we are (unless we want them to be). The kind of secrets that are fun to play with as characters are also frequently tied up with guilt, remorse, sadness, or other emotions that are easy to lean in to at the table. If you are worried that a different cop in your department took the fall for what may have been your bad call, you’ll react differently to him suddenly showing up than if you parted knowing that he fired the bad shot. Since I love feelsy games right now, of course I want the complication of secrets to raise the stakes and push more interesting decision making at the table.

So How Do I Have Secrets Successfully At the Table, Senda?

Gosh, I’m so glad you asked! There are a couple of key items I don’t think folks always consider when dealing in table secrets, and using them successfully. [pullquoteright] Use secrets on a character level, not a player level. You might think it would be more fun if it’s a “real” secret, but actually, no one will care enough to try to find out. [social_warfare][/pullquoteright]Use secrets on a character level, not a player level. You might think it would be more fun if it’s a “real” secret, but actually, no one will care enough to try to find out. If they do, they are likely to feel annoyed or betrayed that you would keep something key to the game from them. Trust me: it is more fun to play with secrets if you are put in positions where you have to make difficult decisions about keeping them or not, which the other folks at the table can only do if they’re in on it. Remember that this is a cooperative exercise and give them the tools to make this story the best for everyone. Get the investment of the other folks at the table. This is pretty much consent. Are they okay with this secret your character has? Is it safe for them? Does it sound like something that will be fun to play with? And from there, is it interesting? Does it get them excited about the direction the game is going? If your table is invested, having a secret can give you all something to play with in downtime, or in tense moments. It’s fun both to have a secret and to be trying to figure out what one is, and we can do both of those in a game. Share the spotlight. Just because you have a secret doesn’t mean that you are the only character worthy of attention at this table. As long as your secret is fostering interaction among characters and not causing the game to warp to your lone wolf ways, you’re doing fine. In fact, you can have a shared secret with other characters that ties you together tighter -- in the police procedural I’m playing now, I am the only one not in on it!

Some Secrets

So you want to try having a secret! Fantastic. They can be very fun to play with. Here are some leading questions in case you are stuck for ideas:

Whose death or injury are you responsible for and why are you hiding it?

What dangerous treasure are you keeping? What does it do? Who is trying to find it?

What do you keep slipping scraps of food to when you think no one is watching?

You are under a permanent spell of polymorph. What are you really?

Who are you related to and why don’t you want anyone to know?

What were you famous for in a previous life and why don’t you want anyone to know?

Why do you refuse to touch that particular kind of weapon?

Secrets are fun when they create opportunities to lean in to your characters at the table. Secrets less fun when they’re a bait and switch on your friends, or if you have one that no one notices. Create situations in which you can play off that secret and the ways you work to conceal it. Give other people moments to interact with you as you interact with it. It can be fun to be a character who is left out, but it’s not so much fun to feel left out as a player. As with implementing anything at your table, communication and table buy in are key! Have you ever played with a secret? What was your favorite? Did your fellow players know?

But the secrets. That’s really what it’s all about. Because my character is not in the know, we create all kinds of good role play opportunities at the table. Someday, maybe, it will actually come out we’ll have that moment when Ras, around whom all of the whispers swirl, will have to actually tell me what happened that night when shots were fired. But until then…until then we all get to lean in to it.

Why Have A Secret

You might say, why even have secrets if all the players at the table are in on them? Well, my gnome reading friend, gather near to these pointy hats and listen to their whispered thoughts. Having a secret drives both character actions and character evolution. Having a secret does not stay stagnant. As a character, there are two general ways to handle a secret, and they are not mutually exclusive. The first is that you are constantly working to conceal it — it will drive your actions even if it causes you to do things that aren’t in your best interest (which just makes everything more interesting). The second is that you may have confused or evolving emotions tied to your secret. You may be torn between keeping your secret and another force — care for a person or thing that is being harmed by your silence. You may be on a path to realizing that you will still be liked and accepted if you reveal your secret. All of these make brilliant role playing opportunities at the table. Our characters are not one dimensional any more than we are (unless we want them to be).

The kind of secrets that are fun to play with as characters are also frequently tied up with guilt, remorse, sadness, or other emotions that are easy to lean in to at the table. If you are worried that a different cop in your department took the fall for what may have been your bad call, you’ll react differently to him suddenly showing up than if you parted knowing that he fired the bad shot. Since I love feelsy games right now, of course I want the complication of secrets to raise the stakes and push more interesting decision making at the table.

So How Do I Have Secrets Successfully At the Table, Senda?

Gosh, I’m so glad you asked! There are a couple of key items I don’t think folks always consider when dealing in table secrets, and using them successfully.

 Use secrets on a character level, not a player level. You might think it would be more fun if it’s a “real” secret, but actually, no one will care enough to try to find out. 

Me, The Character:

I am the rookie on an established task force. They all call me “Boot” but my father was in this police department, and my grandfather, and as one of the youngest graduates of the academy in recent memory, I am prepared to follow in their shining footsteps. There’s something a bit funny though -- everyone on my new team keeps talking about this thing that was in the papers months ago. It was all cleared up, pretty unfortunate, but one officer from this team turned out to be the responsible party. Every time they talk about it, I feel like I’m missing something, but they stop talking and give each other meaningful looks if I ask anything... About that, or about how the Lieutenant lost his eye. There’s a pool on the eye so everyone’s trying to find out. I voted swordfish but on second thought maybe pool cue would have been a better bet…

Me, The Player:

We world built this together. I am in on the secret. I delight in believing only the best of my teammates with bright eyed innocence, not that they could be hiding anything dark. Because I know the secret, I can push them in to awkward situations by asking questions that seem and feel innocent and give them all a chance to be the group who’s been through thick and thin. Playing the rookie in this game works out for me -- I don’t know this genre well but I’m having a blast playing it, and any goofs can be easily covered by my newness to the team. [pullquoteright] Because my character is not in the know, we create all kinds of good role play opportunities at the table. [social_warfare][/pullquoteright]But the secrets. That’s really what it’s all about. Because my character is not in the know, we create all kinds of good role play opportunities at the table. Someday, maybe, it will actually come out we’ll have that moment when Ras, around whom all of the whispers swirl, will have to actually tell me what happened that night when shots were fired. But until then...until then we all get to lean in to it.

Why Have A Secret

You might say, why even have secrets if all the players at the table are in on them? Well, my gnome reading friend, gather near to these pointy hats and listen to their whispered thoughts. Having a secret drives both character actions and character evolution. Having a secret does not stay stagnant. As a character, there are two general ways to handle a secret, and they are not mutually exclusive. The first is that you are constantly working to conceal it — it will drive your actions even if it causes you to do things that aren’t in your best interest (which just makes everything more interesting). The second is that you may have confused or evolving emotions tied to your secret. You may be torn between keeping your secret and another force -- care for a person or thing that is being harmed by your silence. You may be on a path to realizing that you will still be liked and accepted if you reveal your secret. All of these make brilliant role playing opportunities at the table. Our characters are not one dimensional any more than we are (unless we want them to be). The kind of secrets that are fun to play with as characters are also frequently tied up with guilt, remorse, sadness, or other emotions that are easy to lean in to at the table. If you are worried that a different cop in your department took the fall for what may have been your bad call, you’ll react differently to him suddenly showing up than if you parted knowing that he fired the bad shot. Since I love feelsy games right now, of course I want the complication of secrets to raise the stakes and push more interesting decision making at the table.

So How Do I Have Secrets Successfully At the Table, Senda?

Gosh, I’m so glad you asked! There are a couple of key items I don’t think folks always consider when dealing in table secrets, and using them successfully. [pullquoteright] Use secrets on a character level, not a player level. You might think it would be more fun if it’s a “real” secret, but actually, no one will care enough to try to find out. [social_warfare][/pullquoteright]Use secrets on a character level, not a player level. You might think it would be more fun if it’s a “real” secret, but actually, no one will care enough to try to find out. If they do, they are likely to feel annoyed or betrayed that you would keep something key to the game from them. Trust me: it is more fun to play with secrets if you are put in positions where you have to make difficult decisions about keeping them or not, which the other folks at the table can only do if they’re in on it. Remember that this is a cooperative exercise and give them the tools to make this story the best for everyone. Get the investment of the other folks at the table. This is pretty much consent. Are they okay with this secret your character has? Is it safe for them? Does it sound like something that will be fun to play with? And from there, is it interesting? Does it get them excited about the direction the game is going? If your table is invested, having a secret can give you all something to play with in downtime, or in tense moments. It’s fun both to have a secret and to be trying to figure out what one is, and we can do both of those in a game. Share the spotlight. Just because you have a secret doesn’t mean that you are the only character worthy of attention at this table. As long as your secret is fostering interaction among characters and not causing the game to warp to your lone wolf ways, you’re doing fine. In fact, you can have a shared secret with other characters that ties you together tighter -- in the police procedural I’m playing now, I am the only one not in on it!

Some Secrets

So you want to try having a secret! Fantastic. They can be very fun to play with. Here are some leading questions in case you are stuck for ideas:

Whose death or injury are you responsible for and why are you hiding it?

What dangerous treasure are you keeping? What does it do? Who is trying to find it?

What do you keep slipping scraps of food to when you think no one is watching?

You are under a permanent spell of polymorph. What are you really?

Who are you related to and why don’t you want anyone to know?

What were you famous for in a previous life and why don’t you want anyone to know?

Why do you refuse to touch that particular kind of weapon?

Secrets are fun when they create opportunities to lean in to your characters at the table. Secrets less fun when they’re a bait and switch on your friends, or if you have one that no one notices. Create situations in which you can play off that secret and the ways you work to conceal it. Give other people moments to interact with you as you interact with it. It can be fun to be a character who is left out, but it’s not so much fun to feel left out as a player. As with implementing anything at your table, communication and table buy in are key! Have you ever played with a secret? What was your favorite? Did your fellow players know?

Use secrets on a character level, not a player level. You might think it would be more fun if it’s a “real” secret, but actually, no one will care enough to try to find out. If they do, they are likely to feel annoyed or betrayed that you would keep something key to the game from them. Trust me: it is more fun to play with secrets if you are put in positions where you have to make difficult decisions about keeping them or not, which the other folks at the table can only do if they’re in on it. Remember that this is a cooperative exercise and give them the tools to make this story the best for everyone.

Get the investment of the other folks at the table. This is pretty much consent. Are they okay with this secret your character has? Is it safe for them? Does it sound like something that will be fun to play with? And from there, is it interesting? Does it get them excited about the direction the game is going? If your table is invested, having a secret can give you all something to play with in downtime, or in tense moments. It’s fun both to have a secret and to be trying to figure out what one is, and we can do both of those in a game. Share the spotlight. Just because you have a secret doesn’t mean that you are the only character worthy of attention at this table. As long as your secret is fostering interaction among characters and not causing the game to warp to your lone wolf ways, you’re doing fine. In fact, you can have a shared secret with other characters that ties you together tighter — in the police procedural I’m playing now, I am the only one not in on it!

Some Secrets

So you want to try having a secret! Fantastic. They can be very fun to play with. Here are some leading questions in case you are stuck for ideas:

Whose death or injury are you responsible for and why are you hiding it?

What dangerous treasure are you keeping? What does it do? Who is trying to find it?

What do you keep slipping scraps of food to when you think no one is watching?

You are under a permanent spell of polymorph. What are you really?

Who are you related to and why don’t you want anyone to know?

What were you famous for in a previous life and why don’t you want anyone to know?

Why do you refuse to touch that particular kind of weapon?

Secrets are fun when they create opportunities to lean in to your characters at the table. Secrets less fun when they’re a bait and switch on your friends, or if you have one that no one notices. Create situations in which you can play off that secret and the ways you work to conceal it. Give other people moments to interact with you as you interact with it. It can be fun to be a character who is left out, but it’s not so much fun to feel left out as a player. As with implementing anything at your table, communication and table buy in are key!

Have you ever played with a secret? What was your favorite? Did your fellow players know?

I Have A Secret (About Secrets In Play) published first on https://supergalaxyrom.tumblr.com

A Hard Day’s Night Review

Movie Review: Hard Day’s Night

 Director: Richard Lester

Studio: United Artists

Genre: Comedy, Musical

Release: 1964

Run Time: 1 hour 27 minutes

IMBD Rating: 7.7/10

Metacritic Score: 96/100

Rotten Tomatoe %: 98

 First Impressions -

 The Beatles. The most influential thing to happen to music in history. The greatest band and musical act to ever gift the world with their sound and genius. My favorite band to listen to, some of my favorite personalities also come together in their first big screen appearance. This movie was essentially made just to promote the ‘Hard Day’s Night’ album; because of this it naturally lacks many creative or unique aspects. This movie had a budget of $560,00 and grossed $1,597,233 worldwide

 The Plot -

 The plot is extremely thin. The Beatles have to dodge fans and jump on a train to their next big performance. They spend some time on the train being themselves and overall sharing moments of humor and comedy. Afterwards they manage to arrive at a hotel and at that hotel they decide to go to a casino, a club and take sometime to go a goof around while one of their songs play in the background. Ringo becomes slightly singled out during the movie and wanders off in a wave of depression, at the same time everyone else is trying to find him and have to make it back in time for the performance. It is a pretty big mess and really hasn’t aged too well in terms of execution. The pacing isn’t great, any time the Beatles aren’t doing funny things or being their wacky selves it does drag. Even the songs can take you out of it, despite their music being absolutely fantastic; it does take you out of the film. Not much else happens in the film besides the moment of drama with Ringo but in an interview, he was actually supposed to do something completely different but Ringo was hung-over and ‘couldn’t be bothered’ so he asked the director if he could just walk around for a bit.

 Characters and Acting -

 The Beatles all pretty much play themselves in this movie. John Lennon is the leader and ladies man, Paul McCartney is the smooth straight man, George Harrison is the sarcastic, factious, quite one and Ringo is the odd one out but considered the lovable dope. Other characters include Paul’s Grandfather; he’s a con man and a womanizer who gets himself into several situations which usually involves Paul trying to keep him in check. Minor characters include the Beatles manager, Shake and his assistant; neither has much screen time or important roles in the movie other than to worry about the Beatles getting back in time for the performance. It goes without saying that the Beatles work of each other incredibly well and require little to no direction. They are so natural with their comedy and whimsical acting, if you watch them in interviews together you can clearly see the how well they work off of each other and it really shows in their acting too. The most important character to the ‘story’ is probably Ringo since he is the only one with an actual arc of any kind. They all have a type of established character before you even see the movie due to them playing themselves but the characters they ‘play’ are developed well enough through there personality. John, Paul and George lack any real relevance to the plot or the story line, they each have plenty of screen time but really do lack any moments of importance. The acting is not great but other times it’s pretty alright. John, Paul and George tip toe in and out of decent performances but Ringo is just bad.

 Film Techniques

 The movie is black and white which is completely fine. The quality has really been spruced up but the editing is still a problem. A bunch of moments of dialogue and scenes of transition are a bit janky and not very well done. I think I remember reading or hearing that they had a time constraints and had to rush aspects of this film but I don’t know if that’s entirely true but it would explain a lot of the bad editing and even some sound quality issues. The dialogue can at times be cheesy and odd but most of the time it’s clearly Beatles adlib which is always a joy. This movie breaks no grounds and doesn’t even try to do anything differently in terms of camera work, lighting or visuals. It’s just a standard comedy, musical and it never takes itself seriously. Time and time again it will stop progression of the movie for a minute or two to play a song from the Hard Day’s Night album which is accompanied by the Beatles either playing their instruments or jumping around being themselves. It breaks up the movie slightly which can be interrupted one way or another, interesting and different or dull and intruding.

 Tones and Themes

 As I said, this movie does not take itself seriously and the Beatles definitely had fun making this movie for the most part. The movie doesn’t really have any themes besides, have fun? Don’t take life so seriously? I come to this conclusion because throughout the movie The Beatles are shown messing around and acting immature despite them being professional musicians and being very famous and popular. They act immature, silly, sarcastic and youthful. At the same time there managers are stressing about there performance and the serious business side of their act. Also to contribute to this fact, even Paul’s grandfather has young youthful characteristics, deceiving and getting himself into trouble. The humorous tone of the movie never dips or dives and stays constant throughout the film. If you don’t like the Beatles (for some reason) you will definitely by the end of this movie, their comedy style and personalities really shine through and become infectious.

 Conclusion

 I liked this movie a lot but that is surely because of The Beatles attachment and their overall involvement. If this wasn’t the Beatles and say, The Rolling Stones or even just a bunch of random actors, this movie would be absolute garbage. That does say a lot about the movie and how it is structured overall, it isn’t great and hasn’t aged perfectly but it’s extremely charming for what it is and can be enjoyed by causal and avid Beatles fans alike.

 My Score – 6.9/10

 Reviewed By - Isaac Reynolds

I Have A Secret (About Secrets In Play)

Me, The Character:

I am the rookie on an established task force. They all call me “Boot” but my father was in this police department, and my grandfather, and as one of the youngest graduates of the academy in recent memory, I am prepared to follow in their shining footsteps. There’s something a bit funny though — everyone on my new team keeps talking about this thing that was in the papers months ago. It was all cleared up, pretty unfortunate, but one officer from this team turned out to be the responsible party. Every time they talk about it, I feel like I’m missing something, but they stop talking and give each other meaningful looks if I ask anything… About that, or about how the Lieutenant lost his eye. There’s a pool on the eye so everyone’s trying to find out. I voted swordfish but on second thought maybe pool cue would have been a better bet…

Me, The Player:

We world built this together. I am in on the secret. I delight in believing only the best of my teammates with bright eyed innocence, not that they could be hiding anything dark. Because I know the secret, I can push them in to awkward situations by asking questions that seem and feel innocent and give them all a chance to be the group who’s been through thick and thin. Playing the rookie in this game works out for me — I don’t know this genre well but I’m having a blast playing it, and any goofs can be easily covered by my newness to the team.

 Because my character is not in the know, we create all kinds of good role play opportunities at the table. 

Me, The Character:

I am the rookie on an established task force. They all call me “Boot” but my father was in this police department, and my grandfather, and as one of the youngest graduates of the academy in recent memory, I am prepared to follow in their shining footsteps. There’s something a bit funny though -- everyone on my new team keeps talking about this thing that was in the papers months ago. It was all cleared up, pretty unfortunate, but one officer from this team turned out to be the responsible party. Every time they talk about it, I feel like I’m missing something, but they stop talking and give each other meaningful looks if I ask anything... About that, or about how the Lieutenant lost his eye. There’s a pool on the eye so everyone’s trying to find out. I voted swordfish but on second thought maybe pool cue would have been a better bet…

Me, The Player:

We world built this together. I am in on the secret. I delight in believing only the best of my teammates with bright eyed innocence, not that they could be hiding anything dark. Because I know the secret, I can push them in to awkward situations by asking questions that seem and feel innocent and give them all a chance to be the group who’s been through thick and thin. Playing the rookie in this game works out for me -- I don’t know this genre well but I’m having a blast playing it, and any goofs can be easily covered by my newness to the team. [pullquoteright] Because my character is not in the know, we create all kinds of good role play opportunities at the table. [social_warfare][/pullquoteright]But the secrets. That’s really what it’s all about. Because my character is not in the know, we create all kinds of good role play opportunities at the table. Someday, maybe, it will actually come out we’ll have that moment when Ras, around whom all of the whispers swirl, will have to actually tell me what happened that night when shots were fired. But until then...until then we all get to lean in to it.

Why Have A Secret

You might say, why even have secrets if all the players at the table are in on them? Well, my gnome reading friend, gather near to these pointy hats and listen to their whispered thoughts. Having a secret drives both character actions and character evolution. Having a secret does not stay stagnant. As a character, there are two general ways to handle a secret, and they are not mutually exclusive. The first is that you are constantly working to conceal it — it will drive your actions even if it causes you to do things that aren’t in your best interest (which just makes everything more interesting). The second is that you may have confused or evolving emotions tied to your secret. You may be torn between keeping your secret and another force -- care for a person or thing that is being harmed by your silence. You may be on a path to realizing that you will still be liked and accepted if you reveal your secret. All of these make brilliant role playing opportunities at the table. Our characters are not one dimensional any more than we are (unless we want them to be). The kind of secrets that are fun to play with as characters are also frequently tied up with guilt, remorse, sadness, or other emotions that are easy to lean in to at the table. If you are worried that a different cop in your department took the fall for what may have been your bad call, you’ll react differently to him suddenly showing up than if you parted knowing that he fired the bad shot. Since I love feelsy games right now, of course I want the complication of secrets to raise the stakes and push more interesting decision making at the table.

So How Do I Have Secrets Successfully At the Table, Senda?

Gosh, I’m so glad you asked! There are a couple of key items I don’t think folks always consider when dealing in table secrets, and using them successfully. [pullquoteright] Use secrets on a character level, not a player level. You might think it would be more fun if it’s a “real” secret, but actually, no one will care enough to try to find out. [social_warfare][/pullquoteright]Use secrets on a character level, not a player level. You might think it would be more fun if it’s a “real” secret, but actually, no one will care enough to try to find out. If they do, they are likely to feel annoyed or betrayed that you would keep something key to the game from them. Trust me: it is more fun to play with secrets if you are put in positions where you have to make difficult decisions about keeping them or not, which the other folks at the table can only do if they’re in on it. Remember that this is a cooperative exercise and give them the tools to make this story the best for everyone. Get the investment of the other folks at the table. This is pretty much consent. Are they okay with this secret your character has? Is it safe for them? Does it sound like something that will be fun to play with? And from there, is it interesting? Does it get them excited about the direction the game is going? If your table is invested, having a secret can give you all something to play with in downtime, or in tense moments. It’s fun both to have a secret and to be trying to figure out what one is, and we can do both of those in a game. Share the spotlight. Just because you have a secret doesn’t mean that you are the only character worthy of attention at this table. As long as your secret is fostering interaction among characters and not causing the game to warp to your lone wolf ways, you’re doing fine. In fact, you can have a shared secret with other characters that ties you together tighter -- in the police procedural I’m playing now, I am the only one not in on it!

Some Secrets

So you want to try having a secret! Fantastic. They can be very fun to play with. Here are some leading questions in case you are stuck for ideas:

Whose death or injury are you responsible for and why are you hiding it?

What dangerous treasure are you keeping? What does it do? Who is trying to find it?

What do you keep slipping scraps of food to when you think no one is watching?

You are under a permanent spell of polymorph. What are you really?

Who are you related to and why don’t you want anyone to know?

What were you famous for in a previous life and why don’t you want anyone to know?

Why do you refuse to touch that particular kind of weapon?

Secrets are fun when they create opportunities to lean in to your characters at the table. Secrets less fun when they’re a bait and switch on your friends, or if you have one that no one notices. Create situations in which you can play off that secret and the ways you work to conceal it. Give other people moments to interact with you as you interact with it. It can be fun to be a character who is left out, but it’s not so much fun to feel left out as a player. As with implementing anything at your table, communication and table buy in are key! Have you ever played with a secret? What was your favorite? Did your fellow players know?

But the secrets. That’s really what it’s all about. Because my character is not in the know, we create all kinds of good role play opportunities at the table. Someday, maybe, it will actually come out we’ll have that moment when Ras, around whom all of the whispers swirl, will have to actually tell me what happened that night when shots were fired. But until then…until then we all get to lean in to it.

Why Have A Secret

You might say, why even have secrets if all the players at the table are in on them? Well, my gnome reading friend, gather near to these pointy hats and listen to their whispered thoughts. Having a secret drives both character actions and character evolution. Having a secret does not stay stagnant. As a character, there are two general ways to handle a secret, and they are not mutually exclusive. The first is that you are constantly working to conceal it — it will drive your actions even if it causes you to do things that aren’t in your best interest (which just makes everything more interesting). The second is that you may have confused or evolving emotions tied to your secret. You may be torn between keeping your secret and another force — care for a person or thing that is being harmed by your silence. You may be on a path to realizing that you will still be liked and accepted if you reveal your secret. All of these make brilliant role playing opportunities at the table. Our characters are not one dimensional any more than we are (unless we want them to be).

The kind of secrets that are fun to play with as characters are also frequently tied up with guilt, remorse, sadness, or other emotions that are easy to lean in to at the table. If you are worried that a different cop in your department took the fall for what may have been your bad call, you’ll react differently to him suddenly showing up than if you parted knowing that he fired the bad shot. Since I love feelsy games right now, of course I want the complication of secrets to raise the stakes and push more interesting decision making at the table.

So How Do I Have Secrets Successfully At the Table, Senda?

Gosh, I’m so glad you asked! There are a couple of key items I don’t think folks always consider when dealing in table secrets, and using them successfully.

 Use secrets on a character level, not a player level. You might think it would be more fun if it’s a “real” secret, but actually, no one will care enough to try to find out. 

Me, The Character:

I am the rookie on an established task force. They all call me “Boot” but my father was in this police department, and my grandfather, and as one of the youngest graduates of the academy in recent memory, I am prepared to follow in their shining footsteps. There’s something a bit funny though -- everyone on my new team keeps talking about this thing that was in the papers months ago. It was all cleared up, pretty unfortunate, but one officer from this team turned out to be the responsible party. Every time they talk about it, I feel like I’m missing something, but they stop talking and give each other meaningful looks if I ask anything... About that, or about how the Lieutenant lost his eye. There’s a pool on the eye so everyone’s trying to find out. I voted swordfish but on second thought maybe pool cue would have been a better bet…

Me, The Player:

We world built this together. I am in on the secret. I delight in believing only the best of my teammates with bright eyed innocence, not that they could be hiding anything dark. Because I know the secret, I can push them in to awkward situations by asking questions that seem and feel innocent and give them all a chance to be the group who’s been through thick and thin. Playing the rookie in this game works out for me -- I don’t know this genre well but I’m having a blast playing it, and any goofs can be easily covered by my newness to the team. [pullquoteright] Because my character is not in the know, we create all kinds of good role play opportunities at the table. [social_warfare][/pullquoteright]But the secrets. That’s really what it’s all about. Because my character is not in the know, we create all kinds of good role play opportunities at the table. Someday, maybe, it will actually come out we’ll have that moment when Ras, around whom all of the whispers swirl, will have to actually tell me what happened that night when shots were fired. But until then...until then we all get to lean in to it.

Why Have A Secret

You might say, why even have secrets if all the players at the table are in on them? Well, my gnome reading friend, gather near to these pointy hats and listen to their whispered thoughts. Having a secret drives both character actions and character evolution. Having a secret does not stay stagnant. As a character, there are two general ways to handle a secret, and they are not mutually exclusive. The first is that you are constantly working to conceal it — it will drive your actions even if it causes you to do things that aren’t in your best interest (which just makes everything more interesting). The second is that you may have confused or evolving emotions tied to your secret. You may be torn between keeping your secret and another force -- care for a person or thing that is being harmed by your silence. You may be on a path to realizing that you will still be liked and accepted if you reveal your secret. All of these make brilliant role playing opportunities at the table. Our characters are not one dimensional any more than we are (unless we want them to be). The kind of secrets that are fun to play with as characters are also frequently tied up with guilt, remorse, sadness, or other emotions that are easy to lean in to at the table. If you are worried that a different cop in your department took the fall for what may have been your bad call, you’ll react differently to him suddenly showing up than if you parted knowing that he fired the bad shot. Since I love feelsy games right now, of course I want the complication of secrets to raise the stakes and push more interesting decision making at the table.

So How Do I Have Secrets Successfully At the Table, Senda?

Gosh, I’m so glad you asked! There are a couple of key items I don’t think folks always consider when dealing in table secrets, and using them successfully. [pullquoteright] Use secrets on a character level, not a player level. You might think it would be more fun if it’s a “real” secret, but actually, no one will care enough to try to find out. [social_warfare][/pullquoteright]Use secrets on a character level, not a player level. You might think it would be more fun if it’s a “real” secret, but actually, no one will care enough to try to find out. If they do, they are likely to feel annoyed or betrayed that you would keep something key to the game from them. Trust me: it is more fun to play with secrets if you are put in positions where you have to make difficult decisions about keeping them or not, which the other folks at the table can only do if they’re in on it. Remember that this is a cooperative exercise and give them the tools to make this story the best for everyone. Get the investment of the other folks at the table. This is pretty much consent. Are they okay with this secret your character has? Is it safe for them? Does it sound like something that will be fun to play with? And from there, is it interesting? Does it get them excited about the direction the game is going? If your table is invested, having a secret can give you all something to play with in downtime, or in tense moments. It’s fun both to have a secret and to be trying to figure out what one is, and we can do both of those in a game. Share the spotlight. Just because you have a secret doesn’t mean that you are the only character worthy of attention at this table. As long as your secret is fostering interaction among characters and not causing the game to warp to your lone wolf ways, you’re doing fine. In fact, you can have a shared secret with other characters that ties you together tighter -- in the police procedural I’m playing now, I am the only one not in on it!

Some Secrets

So you want to try having a secret! Fantastic. They can be very fun to play with. Here are some leading questions in case you are stuck for ideas:

Whose death or injury are you responsible for and why are you hiding it?

What dangerous treasure are you keeping? What does it do? Who is trying to find it?

What do you keep slipping scraps of food to when you think no one is watching?

You are under a permanent spell of polymorph. What are you really?

Who are you related to and why don’t you want anyone to know?

What were you famous for in a previous life and why don’t you want anyone to know?

Why do you refuse to touch that particular kind of weapon?

Secrets are fun when they create opportunities to lean in to your characters at the table. Secrets less fun when they’re a bait and switch on your friends, or if you have one that no one notices. Create situations in which you can play off that secret and the ways you work to conceal it. Give other people moments to interact with you as you interact with it. It can be fun to be a character who is left out, but it’s not so much fun to feel left out as a player. As with implementing anything at your table, communication and table buy in are key! Have you ever played with a secret? What was your favorite? Did your fellow players know?

Use secrets on a character level, not a player level. You might think it would be more fun if it’s a “real” secret, but actually, no one will care enough to try to find out. If they do, they are likely to feel annoyed or betrayed that you would keep something key to the game from them. Trust me: it is more fun to play with secrets if you are put in positions where you have to make difficult decisions about keeping them or not, which the other folks at the table can only do if they’re in on it. Remember that this is a cooperative exercise and give them the tools to make this story the best for everyone.

Get the investment of the other folks at the table. This is pretty much consent. Are they okay with this secret your character has? Is it safe for them? Does it sound like something that will be fun to play with? And from there, is it interesting? Does it get them excited about the direction the game is going? If your table is invested, having a secret can give you all something to play with in downtime, or in tense moments. It’s fun both to have a secret and to be trying to figure out what one is, and we can do both of those in a game. Share the spotlight. Just because you have a secret doesn’t mean that you are the only character worthy of attention at this table. As long as your secret is fostering interaction among characters and not causing the game to warp to your lone wolf ways, you’re doing fine. In fact, you can have a shared secret with other characters that ties you together tighter — in the police procedural I’m playing now, I am the only one not in on it!

Some Secrets

So you want to try having a secret! Fantastic. They can be very fun to play with. Here are some leading questions in case you are stuck for ideas:

Whose death or injury are you responsible for and why are you hiding it?

What dangerous treasure are you keeping? What does it do? Who is trying to find it?

What do you keep slipping scraps of food to when you think no one is watching?

You are under a permanent spell of polymorph. What are you really?

Who are you related to and why don’t you want anyone to know?

What were you famous for in a previous life and why don’t you want anyone to know?

Why do you refuse to touch that particular kind of weapon?

Secrets are fun when they create opportunities to lean in to your characters at the table. Secrets less fun when they’re a bait and switch on your friends, or if you have one that no one notices. Create situations in which you can play off that secret and the ways you work to conceal it. Give other people moments to interact with you as you interact with it. It can be fun to be a character who is left out, but it’s not so much fun to feel left out as a player. As with implementing anything at your table, communication and table buy in are key!

Have you ever played with a secret? What was your favorite? Did your fellow players know?

I Have A Secret (About Secrets In Play) published first on https://supergalaxyrom.tumblr.com