I'm re-reading the raven boys for the first time after a few years and i had forgotten how sad Noah made me feel. Besides all the terrible traumatic stuff that happenned to him, that moment when gansey is asking (demanding) to know why he never said he was dead all this time and he says "i did. i've said it many times" and it has always felt like one of the most heartbreaking moments ever, because, yes, he did. this is the first thing we learn about noah (cold hands and dead for seven years) but we all brush it off. we laugh. can you imagine being in his position? being completely honest, waiting, expecting people to look at him, to actually see him. he never lied, gosh, he never even omitted the truth, but no one dared to look at him to realize he was dead. he was never eating, never leaving, his hand were always so cold, it was so easy to forget he was even there. were they not looking at him? were they always looking past him?