Tumgik
#muscly women are pretty too
melobin · 2 months
Text
જ⁀➴ nuts and bolts 𐙚 sungchan
Tumblr media
part of the riize as porn plots series.
summary - your car has been acting up all week so you finally decide to take it to the garage after work, lucky for you there’s only one person there and you’re his last customer of the day.
wc - 4.3k
warnings - mechanic!sungchan x customer!femalereader, dom sungchan, strength kink, size kink, choking, unprotected sex, rough sex, praise, hair pulling, biting, finger sucking, manhandling, face fucking, oral sex f and m receiving, cum eating, heavy use of good girl
⋆ ˚。 ⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。 ⋆
the garage was colder than you expected, even with the shutter door down there was still a chill in the air. you guessed that’s what you got for taking your car to be fixed so late into the evening. there wasn’t many garages that stayed open past five pm, you were lucky to have found the one you did. extra mile, it was a privately owned business, the only one of its kind, so its hours were a little more flexible than the big branded ones. it’s slogan was something along the lines of, we will always go the extra mile for you, so you hoped you weren’t about to be scammed.
when you called up a man answered, he sounded young, he told you that they stayed open till late and that he had no one else booked in for the evening so you could come in whenever. when you got there, you assumed the same man that answered the phone had also let you in, he closed the shutter door behind you once you parked your car inside of the garage. 
“thank you for seeing me so late” you spoke as you got out of your car, seven pm wasn’t the ideal time for anyone to be working so you were thankful. 
“of course, what kind of gentleman would i be if i didn’t help a lady in need?” you finally looked up at him once he spoke, you weren’t sure what kind of man you were expecting to see but it wasn’t that “i’m sungchan” you smiled at him, introducing yourself back before taking a proper look at him. sungchan was gorgeous, from head to toe. his eyes sparkled as he looked at you, a soft smile gracing his pretty face. soft brown hair styled messily, he’s probably been running his fingers through it all day, he also happened to be insanely tall.
you did wish you didn’t look further down his body though, he must’ve had a long day. his overalls were tied around his hips leaving his upper half only clad by a thin, dirty, white tank top. it stuck to his body, you weren’t sure if it was just that tight or if it was from the sweat that had accumulated against his skin, but either way it fit him perfectly. a little too perfectly, you could see the ridges of his abs through the material and it was hard to miss the way it creased between his pecs. letting your eyes flick to his arms was your downfall, sweat caused them to glisten under the dull lights of the room. they were thick, muscly, they bulged due to the way he had his arms crossed in front of his chest.
sungchan was delicious, in every way. although sitting in a cold garage waiting for your car to be fixed wasn’t your ideal way of spending your evening after a long day at work, you were not about to complain about being left alone with sungchan for a few hours. you noticed the way the corner of his lip twitched from a smile into a subtle smirk once you let your eyes wander back to his face, you knew he’d caught you checking him out but it didn’t phase you; with how he looked, he must’ve had women falling to their feet for him all day long. 
“so what seems to be the problem, sweetheart?” sungchan’s head gently tilted to one side, the same sweet smile from before returning to his lips. you tried to ignore the way the pet name made you feel, even though you were sure it was normal to feel nervous over an attractive man calling you sweetheart.
“well” you thought for a moment, realising you didn’t actually know how to explain the problem “there’s been this clicking sound coming from the engine when i’m driving, my friend said it would be good to come and get it checked out”
“has it been going on for long?”
“about a week now, i just haven’t had time to get it checked because all the garages tend to be shut by the time i finish work” sungchan nodded.
“i see, may i have you keys so i can take a look please?” you handed him your keys, trying to ignore the way his veins popped out in the back of his hand when he wrapped his fingers around your keys “you can take a seat in the desk chair over there, no one else is here so you’re okay to stay whilst i work on your car” 
“thank you again sungchan” you sat down on the chair that was in front of the small desk just a little away from him, it looked like their reception, or well, what could be seen as a a reception in the small space that wasn’t taken by the car, their own interpretation of one perhaps. there was a laptop on the metal desk, the initial on the screen said s.e, you cursed yourself for being so nosy but you couldn’t help it. “i know it’s not ideal to be working so late” you looked back over at the man who had now popped open the hood of your car.
“it’s no problem” sungchan’s arms flexed as he lifted the bonnet up. you felt both your stomach churn and your mouth water at the site, there was no way you were going to be able to keep sane “my friend eunseok owns the place, it’s just me and him who work here. you sounded desperate when you called so i thought i’d stay behind to help you whilst he went home” eunseok must be s.e, you thought.
“small business?” sungchan laughed, hands working on something near the engine of your car as he looked over at you, quickly noticing the way your eyes were glued to his arm.
“you could say that, we’re just some dodgy, side of the road garage that people think is a scam” you did think it was a scam “but we’re genuine people, we’d never hurt anybody” he looked back down at your car as he continued working on it. “what do you do? you said you work all day”
“family owned restaurant not that far from here, a few people have been away these past few weeks so i’ve had to fill in for them. been working everyday so i never got the chance to properly get my car checked”
“do you enjoy it?”
“i don’t dislike it, it’s just not what i want to do forever”
“what do you want to do forever?” you leaned back in the chair, it moved slightly due to the wheels.
“i don’t know, something exciting” sungchan laughed at your response before letting you continue “anything from an air hostess to a porn star at this point”
“you think being a porn star would be exciting?” sungchan stood up straight, reaching over to get a tool from his box, there was a hint of amusement in his eyes. you struggled to tear your own away from his arms though, not being able to stop thinking about how strong he looked.
“not a full blown famous porn star who does coke and fucks guys with medically enlarged dicks” sungchan laughed again, you were begining it really enjoy that sound “an amateur one who works for herself and only has one partner”
“well, if you ever need a partner i wouldn’t mind getting a part time job” you giggled, giggled, at his response, you almost wanted to slap yourself for having such a response.
“i’ll keep it in mind” you thought for a moment “if you ever need a receptionist, just let me know”
“are you trying to recreate a receptionist and mechanic porn?”
“no, i think maybe a porn where the customer thanks her mechanic by giving him an extra special tip would be more appropriate” sungchan poked his tongue against his inner cheek, chuckling at what you were suggesting.
“well sweetheart” he stood up and closed the hood of your car, walking over to where you sat and dropping your keys onto the desk before leaning over you to use the laptop. he was so close to you, the top of his tank top fell down as he leaned over, revealing his toned stomach to your eyes. your thighs pressed together on their own, fuck he was hot. sungchan pressed a few buttons on his mouse before looking down at you, he was towering over you from where he was positioned, hair falling into his eyes “that’s a video i’d rather we kept between ourselves, no one would want to share a pretty little thing like you”
“are there cameras in here?” your voice was quieter than before, sungchan shook his head.
“not one” your eyes fell from his face to his crotch, this was the first time you’d noticed that he was hard, you could see the outline of his cock through his overalls. he was big. your eyes flicked back up to his face before he leaned down and kissed you. it was somewhat of an awkward kiss, you’d imagined the position was making his strain his back due to how tall he was, but it still felt incredible. it was wet, messy, intense, it told you that he wanted you  just as bad as you wanted him. he pulled away not long after, hand reaching down to cup your cheek.
“you know what i think, sweetheart” it sounded as if there was real honey oozing from his voice, you were hooked. 
“hmm?” your hands went up to his shoulders, fingers wandering down the skin of his arms, stopping at his bicep. you had to bite back a moan when you felt them flex under your grip “what do you think?” your eyes stayed on his, mouth going dry at the sight of his features growing sharper.
“i think” his hand fell from your cheek to your jaw, he held it softly in his hand before tightening his grip and pulling you forward harshly, your hands went to his chest, his lip were close to yours “i think a girl as sweet and put together as you, secretly likes to be fucked rough” you whimpered at his words, he wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you up off of the chair, pressing you back against the desk when he did. the metal dug into your back but you didn’t care, you were too distracted by sungchan. 
“and what if i do?” he leaned forward, tongue poking out and touching the base of your neck, he licked a slow, wet stripe up the skin until he reached just below your ear.
“you should let me do it” your fingers curled around the thin fabric of his tank top.
“please” sungchan laughed against your neck, lips parting so he could press them against it.
“who knew you’d be so easy” he spoke in between wet kisses against your skin.
“i don’t sleep around, sungchan” he lifted his head, hand still holding your jaw. he brought his thumb up to press against your lips, you parted your lips to welcome it into your mouth.
“oh? so i’m a special circumstance”
“i just” you whined, his hand fell from your waist to grip your ass, thumb pulling out of your mouth to press against your bottom lip, wetting it “need you so bad”
“so you’re easy for me?”
“just for you” it came out as a whimper as he squeezed your ass again.
“good girl” his fingers left your jaw and joined his other hand on your ass, he lifted you to sit  on the desk, pushing your legs apart so he could stand between them. he pulled you forward until you were sat on the edge of it, chest flat against his as he kissed you again. your hands went to his hair, fingers tangling in the messy strands. you couldn’t help but gasp against his lips when he pressed himself against you, the feeling of his cock against you made your legs feel weak, you were lucky that you were sat down otherwise you were sure you would’ve fell.  
sungchan’s lips were rough against yours, his tongue felt hot in your mouth, pressing against yours. he had dominated you with such simple actions, it left you in anticipation for more. from what you’d seen already, you knew he wasn’t going to disappoint, especially not with how small he had already made you feel.
his fingers hooked into the hem of your trousers, trailing under the thin strap of your underwear in the process. he pulled them off of your skin, easily liting you up to pull them off of your legs before sitting you back on the desk. you winced at the feeling of the cold metal against your heated skin, sungchan laughed, letting his lips break from yours as he spread your legs apart a little wider, finger dropping down to press into your slit. 
“soaked” he tutted, a smile playing on his lips “want me that bad don’t you, sweetheart” it wasn’t a question, he was telling you that he knew how bad you wanted him and he wasn’t wrong. he slowly slid his finger up to your clit, circling the swollen nub, pressing down on it, you squirmed. sungchan was watching you carefully, how you breathed heavily when he put pressure on your clit, how your fingers trailed down and dug into his arms when he pressed two fingers against it and began rubbing it in steadier, quicker circles. you whimpered when he placed his lips onto yours again, nails digging into his flesh when his fingers moved down your cunt and pressed against your hole.
he pushed his tongue into your mouth at the same time that he pushed his middle finger inside of you. sungchan groaned against your lips when he felt you wrap around his finger, so warm and wet, so inviting. he couldn’t wait to feel the way your walls would squeeze around his cock, you were already such a good girl, he knew you’d take all of him so well. his finger pressed deeper inside of you, your fingers curling into his hair at the intrusion.
“feel so little” he moaned against your lips, finger thrusting into you a few times “gonna feel like heaven when you’re struggling to take my cock” his words, along with the feeling of his second finger pushing into you, made you whimper, you found yourself spreading your thighs further apart, pressing yourself closer to him just to feel his fingers deeper inside of you. sungchan broke the kiss and buried his head in your neck, fingers curling up as he attached his lips to your neck, teeth sinking into the sensitive flesh. you moaned, walls clenching around his fingers due to the slight pain of his teeth. 
he pulled his fingers out of you relatively quickly, not letting you savour the moment of them for much longer. you could only whine when he did, already hating not having some part of him inside of you. sungchan laughed into the kiss before he broke it, letting his lips slowly part from yours, a string of salvia still connecting the two of you. he looked at you for a few moments, eyes focused on the way your wet, swollen lips were parted. deep, heavy breaths falling from them. he wanted his cock between them.
his need got the better of him and he pulled you off of the desk, fingers digging into the flesh of your ass as he did. sungchan knew how easy it would’ve been for him to simply slide his cock into you whilst you were sat at the desk, but he was too enthralled with the idea of sliding his cock between your pretty lips. he would’ve done anything in that moment to see you looking up at him with your sweet eyes, full of tears as you take his thick cock down your throat. my good girl, he hummed to himself at the thought of it, the thought of what he could train you into becoming if you let him. but that was for another day, not of the day you just met.
“get on your knees for me, won’t you sweetheart?” you didn’t respond verbally, you just found yourself instinctively following his words, letting your knees fall to the cold, hard concrete of the floor below you. it was going to leave you aching and probably bruised, but the sheer amount of need you felt inside of you for sungchan clouded your better judgement. your mouth watered at the thought of having his cock on your tongue and that was enough for you to ignore any pain “so compliant and sweet” his hand found its way to your jaw, thumb pressing against your bottom lip “such a good girl”.
sungchan was still fully clothed when you sank to your knees, you waited for him to let go of your jaw before you changed that. fingers finger the sleeves of his overalls that he had tied around his waist in order to keep them on his body, they fell to the floor with ease, revealing the bare lower half of his body to your surprised eyes. you hadn’t expected him to have nothing else on under them, it shocked you that you were greeted with his hard, bare cock but you couldn’t complain, seeing him only made you want to taste him more.
“you’re so big” it came out as a whimper as you wrapped your hand around his cock, sungchan had to hold himself back from moaning when he saw how small your hand looked around it. he couldn’t find it in himself to take his eyes off of you, especially not when you took his cock into your mouth, lips wrapping around the thick head. sungchan groaned as your warm mouth consumed him, hands finding your hair immediately, needing something to grip onto as you sucked his cock.
you wanted take all of him into your mouth as soon as possible, feeling an undeniable craving for his cock that needed to be helped, one that could only be fixed by swallowing around his cock and getting to taste every drop of precum that seeps out. you got what you wanted too, once his fingers found your hair they stayed there and it wasn’t long until his hips were bucking forward against you, cock inching deeper into your mouth with each thrust. he still kept his eyes on you, mesmerised by how eagerly you were taking him.
“sweet fucking mouth was made for my cock fuck” he groaned as he spoke, fucking your mouth a little quicker, squeezing your hair a little tighter as he did, he didn’t want to cum though, he couldn’t, he needed to wait until he had your cunt wrapped around his cock first. “if im cumming today then i’m cumming inside of your sweet little cunt, not your mouth, sweetheart” his grip on your hair tightened a little, he pulled you to your feet by it, the action made you wince but it only made you wetter. the roughness, the manhandling, it’s something you had never experienced quite to this intensity before but you loved every second of it, even more so because it was from sungchan. 
you were unsure on what he was doing when he moved you, but you quickly realised when he pressed your front down against the hood of your car, hand only leaving your hair once the side of your face was pressed against the cold metal. his hand found it’s place on your back, other hand wrapping around his cock so he could guide himself into you.
“hope every time you get into this thing you think about the way i fucked you over it” he pressed the tip of his cock against your cunt, head slowly inching its way inside of you. the stretch made you moan, you desperately searched for something to grab on to but you found nothing, instead your hands balled together in fists near your head “sweet little thing like you needs to be thinking about how she got fucked brainless over her own car” sungchan pushed his cock deeper inside of you.
you could feel every inch of his cock, every vein that bulged out was pressing into your walls due to how tightly you were clenching around him. sungchan thought the way you were reacting to his cock was cute, god he needed to wreck you. he had to press his cock all the way inside of you, he was too curious to find out just how perfectly you’d wrap around him and how sweet you’d sound when you take him. well, you took him perfectly. to him, your pussy felt as if it was made especially for him, as if god took his time creating you so you’d be able to take him perfectly. 
he noticed the way your hands were balled in fists, how you still manically searched for something, anything to hold on to as he slowly moved dragged his cock between your walls. he leaned over you, cock shifting deeper when he did, his hands wrapped around your wrists, one in each hand, before he stood up properly. he had your arms stretched out behind your back, letting your hands wrap around his as he thrusted into you a little harder, testing the waters. he groaned as you clenched around his, wetness seeping out of you as he thrusted into you again. 
the side of your face was still pressed against the hood of your car as he began fucking you properly, enjoying the way your desperate moans echoed throughout the garage, they mixed so beautifully with the sound of your cunt getting fucked stupid. wet, raw, squelching sounds came from where his cock was entering you repeatedly, the sounds bounced off of the walls and back to sungchan’s ears. any sound that came from you was beautiful, it took everything in him to not press his cock deeper inside of you and spill his cum into you then and there.
though, sungchan knew he wasn’t going to last long, there was no way he could with the way you were squeezing around him. the feeling of your cunt as well as the feeling of your lips from earlier on had him edging close with each thrust. but he wanted to fuck you for just a little bit longer, wanted to have his skin slapping against yours and feel your nails dig into his flesh a little more. you were lost in the way he was fucking you, everything felt so good, so intense. he stretched you out perfectly, pounded the tip of his cock against every part of you that had your thighs shaking and your cunt begging for a release. 
you were more focused on him cumming though, wanting to feel him spill every last drop of his cum inside of you, wanting him to fill you up until it was dripping out of you. it would be a memory you’d never forget, so you wanted it out of him as soon as possible.
“sungchannie” you whined, head spinning at the sound of your skin slapping together “need your cum” sungchan let out what sounded like a moan, it was delicate and pretty yet so sinful “need you to fill me up” your voice was completely broken as you spoke to him, it just drove him to the edge. sungchan moaned when he let himself go, cock still fucking into you relentless as he let his cum shoot inside of you, fingers holding onto your wrists in what felt like a death grip. he’d tried his hardest to look down at where the two of you connected but he found himself throwing his head back, finally letting his orgasm take control of all of him.
he was silent as he stilled inside of you, the only thing you heard from him was heavy breathing. you weren’t sure what he was thinking but you were glad he’d given you what you wanted. but what he wanted, was to make you cum. there was no way he could let you leave without cumming, what kind of gentleman would he be if he sent such a pretty little thing on her way without having at least one orgasm.
it happened all too fast for you to process. you felt empty when sungchan pulled his cock out of you, it felt cold, but that changed when you felt his fingers press against your cum soaked cunt. he’d dropped to his knees, both hands moving to grab the sides of your ass so he could press his face against your pussy, tongue slipping out of his mouth so he could taste you. he moaned against you, lips being covered in your slick and his cum as he wrapped his lips around your clit, sucking on the swollen nub and letting his tongue flick over it. with how well he fucked you, you knew you wouldn’t last long.
“sungchan, fuck” you felt the knot in your stomach grow tighter, his tongue never stopped flicking against you, lips never leaving your clit as he let you cum into his mouth sungchan savoured every drop of your cum mixed together, groaning at the taste the two of you had created. it took him a few seconds to stand up, hands coming down to pull you off of your car and settle you in front of him. he looked down at you, a playful smile dancing across his lips. 
“might have to call you up about that receptionist job, i know my friend would love you”.
⋆ ˚。 ⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。 ⋆
tag list - @ma-riiii @choqolei @addictedtohobi @strayghibli @seokeuns @productiwity @swaggyjinnie @kvstjwonnie @xushigyu @daebin @saintzdoll @hyucksdelicate @shotaroswifeyily @imthisclosetokms @wccycc @gyuvision @seotired @starrypen @llearlert @yeolwrld @snowyseungs @shawnyle @bbg7mae @hwhjsthetic @cysier @lilriswife4life @blueberryyuta @revehosh @kpxpseoul @emoseob @neosexuals @luvvsnae @forrds @nominsgirl @zennymeow-blog @jhskluv
fill out this form to be apart of my permanent tag list, if you only want to be tagged for this series then reply to one of these posts or send me an ask!
724 notes · View notes
shapelytimber · 3 months
Text
Skyrim is a dress up game, right ?
I was in the mood to do some costume design, so here is a line up for Teldryn Sero and my dragonborn Elaris :)
Tumblr media Tumblr media
I'm always frustrated that every clothing mod on the Nexus is only for women characters (and let's say not to my tastes)- so I had a lot of fun with these :DD
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
[COMMISSIONS]
Notes on my design choices for the two characters below vvv
For Teldryn :
He's a warrior, and he doesn't strike me as a man very interested in fashion, so I kept his clothes practical and not too tight as to not restrict his movements.
He is from Morrowind, and proud of it (one of his only dialogue is him talking about his hometown Blacklight and how beautiful it is), so I tried to incorporate this in his outfit choices. The most obvious one, outside of the canon chitin armor, is the fancy clothes. For them I gave him a slightly altered dunmer outfit you can find in Solstheim. But nothing too ornate or ridiculous, since he's from a pretty modest background (as far as I can tell)
And I think the sleepwear do not need explaining golglflffkfk
For his body type I went for the classic muscular and covered in scars build, nothing much to say. I did give him an ass tho, because I think he deserves it <3
For Elaris :
My dragonborn is a mage Altmer. He puts a lot of efforts in how he looks, and he is a bougie bitch thanks to his new Arc-mage job. Mostly a conjurer, he doesn't need to fight himself. So the outfits are dramatic, impractical and richely decorated. No need for comfortable when your main activities are prancing around a school campus, doing paperwork or summoning big muscly demons to do your bidding.
So I get to dress him in long robes, heels and too much jewelry <3
As for the sleepwear, it's comfy and not very sexy. It's the end of his cunty hours, he gets to relax in a slightly ridiculous 17th century inspired sleepwear (I think it's the right period, but don't quote me on that I'm not an expert)
For the body type, he is tall, not very muscular with a bit of chub. He lives in a cold country and has the closest thing to an office job, he deserves to put on a little bit of meat <3
402 notes · View notes
drewsbuzzcut · 1 month
Text
So Lovely, It Feels So Right
Mat barzal x model!fem!reader
A visceral in doses fic
Warnings: SMUT, alcohol consumption, and mentions of tattoos (let me know if I missed anything)
Tumblr media
Tonight’s the Isles wags’ annual galentine’s get together. It’s nothing fancy, just an intimate gathering at the Martin’s house. There are drinks, snacks, and a small gift exchange.
After laughing so hard your stomachs hurt and drinking various bottles of wine, it’s finally your turn to open your gift. You gently pull out the tissue paper and uncover a black thong with “i ❤️ barzal” printed on the front. You let out an infectious giggle, your cheeks growing red hot.
“Syd! Oh my god. I cannot believe you got me this,” you shriek, hands covering your eyes in faux shyness. You actually liked your little gift- that’d also be a gift for Mat.
“I wanted to get you something on brand for your relationship. We all know you love taking your man to bed. Anyways, soon you’ll be a Barzal,” she points out and you grow flustered thinking about your upcoming nuptials.
Once everyone opens their gifts and finishes their last glass of wine, someone suggests going to a tattoo shop and who are you to not go through with it? Maybe it isn’t the best idea for a bunch of inebriated women to go get tattoos, but you’ll never be one to deny a good time. Mat’s in for a treat later.
-
Walking up to your front door serves as a challenge, your heel keeps getting caught in the cobblestone of your driveway. It doesn’t help that your buzz is still lingering in your limbs. Finally pushing the door open, you sashay into your house. The sting of your fresh tattoo is very well present as you think about what Mat’s reaction will be like.
You walk in looking disheveled but content. Your cheeks are rosy and your eyes are glossy. Your hair is in its signature messy bun, tank top hiked up your chest to hide your newest addition to your ink collection. You don’t get far before you find Mat in the game room, playing around at the pool table.
“Baby,” you announce your presence, slowly making your way towards him.
As you round a corner of the pool table, your fingers trace the “Barzal” engraved in the wood. Your engagement ring catches every angle of the lighting, making it shine and making Mat’s heart race. He cannot wait to marry you.
“Hey, have a good night?” He asks, pulling you into his arms and swaying with you.
“A wonderful night. We laughed a lot. We also had a lot of wine,” you answer with your eyes closed in delight.
“I can tell,” that piqued your interest. You pop a single eye open.
“What do you mean?” You hop onto the edge of the pool table, arms looped over your fiancés shoulders.
“You’re all giggly and touchy. Major signs that you’re drunk,” he explains, kissing your neck.
You stay silent, too focused on his lips on your skin.
“Did Nolan go down easy?” You finally clear your head from thoughts of the man in front of you.
“Of course. He’s the most perfect baby. He had his bottle and I rocked him in the chair for a couple of hours before putting him in his crib. He’s all bundled up, too. He looks so precious,” Mat says and you coo just thinking about your baby boy.
“I’m glad he didn’t give you any trouble with his bottle. He’s been giving me hell just because I try to feed him with the bottle,” you sigh, body leaning into his.
“He’s a little momma’s boy. I can’t blame him.” You definitely agree with that.
Minutes pass by, Mat and you just looking into each other’s eyes. Every now and then he’ll play with your ring. It’s become a habit of his.
“I’m not drunk you know you,” you tut and tilt your head to the side, your eyes playfully glare him.
“Tipsy but not drunk,” you add, your heel clad feet reaching out to rub against his muscly thighs. He immediately catches your hint. You are feeling needy which is a usual occurrence when you drink wine.
“What do you need, pretty girl?” His voice gets raspy and he picks up your legs one by one and takes off your heels.
“You, baby. I need you,” you pull him down into a kiss, head starting to spin when he invades your mouth with his tongue.
His hands caress your thighs over your jeans, steadily rising to the button and zipper. The heat in the room rises and the moisture starts to collect in your underwear when he starts to undo your pants.
“Holy shit,” he murmurs when he sees your specially made panties.
You giggle and pull him into another kiss, this time you’re the one shoving your tongue down his throat. You grip and pull at his soft locks, just the way his touch grips your every nerve ending and sets them alight. Plus, the moans that vibrate through his chest are enough of a reason to not let go.
He guides you back to lay down, your body erupting in chills from his touch on your bare skin and the cold of the table. He softly squeezes at your legs in a subtle tease before pulling down your thong with his teeth, eyes zeroed in on your reaction. Just by the way your chest heaves and your legs subconsciously widen is proof enough that you’re enjoying what he’s doing.
Your core glistens for him and he wants so badly to dive into your wet folds, but he always wants to tease you. If it’s for a minute or more depends on his mood. He’s feeling giving and generous, so he won’t tease you too much but just work you up until you’re antsy. He kneels down, eyesight perfectly level with one of his favorite sights: you, wet and begging. He lays kisses up your legs, nipping tenderly at the stretch marks on your inner thighs. You reach down and intertwine your fingers with his, your ring biting at his skin, a reminder of your future. Continuing on his path upward, he purses his lips and blows a cool stream of air on your wetness, eyes darkening at your whimpers. He lets a small laugh pass through his lips and presses a sweet kiss just below your belly button.
“Do something, please,” you beg, squeezing his hand.
“Do what?” He acts innocent, but you know he’s just trying to get you to voice your needs.
“Eat me out or fuck me. Just do something,” you whine, a low scream falling from your lips as he leans up to mouth at your neck. His clothed cock rubs against your pussy, sending tingles throughout your entire body.
“You’re sexy when you’re bossy,” he whispers in your ear, sending you into a frenzy of sexual tension that’s dying to be resolved.
“If you don’t do anything, I’ll just get myself off,” you sass, closing your legs just a bit.
Mat stops you before you can close them all the way, his fingers opening you up so he can spit on your clit. The feral urge you have for him increases just by the action alone. You lift up your hips, but he quickly pins them down. Your annoyed huff turns into an airy moan when his thick fingers spreading your wetness around your fluttering hole. He delicately kisses around your mound, pressing a loving kiss to your clit.
The few deep breaths you take don’t prepare you for the way pleasure engulfs your body when Mat wraps his lips around your clit. His tongue nudges it while his lips continuously suction around the bud. You tug at your own hair, feeling your mind grow fuzzy when you hear his obscene moans. The vibration feels even better.
“You like that, baby?” He speaks his words into the apex of your thighs.
You numbly nod your head, already high on the overwhelming bliss that comes from his mouth alone.
“Words, baby,” he trades his lips for his finger tip, softly massaging slow circles into your bundle of nerves.
“I love it so much. It feels so good,” you comply albeit being breathless.
Every rational thought flees your head when he starts tracing his name with the tip of his tongue, sending you on a hazy spiral towards your orgasm.
“Fuck, baby. I’m yours,” you chant, knowing he was staking his claim even though he doesn’t need to.
You don’t even realize him pulling away until he’s pushing your tank top further up your chest, unveiling your boobs. He loves when you’re braless. He licks his lips, leaving sucking kisses all up your torso. For a quick moment you snap out of your daze, remembering your new tattoo that your fiancé still doesn’t know about. Luckily, he doesn’t pull your top off all the way.
“Is my pretty girl still sensitive?” He knows damn well your boobs are still sensitive from breastfeeding for 7 months.
You whisper a yes, but it’s quickly replaced with a cry as he softly sucks them into his mouth. It doesn’t last long because you’re still producing milk, so he decides to suck on the flesh surrounding your nipples. No low cut tops are in your future unless you want people to witness the craving Mat’s mouth had. You will definitely be looking like a cheetah after he’s done with you.
You lift your hips up into him, begging for friction, but also distracting him from eventually making his way to your tattoo. You didn’t want him to see it just yet.
He spreads your folds open again, not holding back and he immediately starts lapping up your arousal. The slurping noises fill your ears and his ravenous moans make you even wetter.
“You taste so good, pretty girl. I can eat your pretty pussy all day,” he praises, voice sweet and thick like honey.
“I love you,” you reply.
“I love you.” His words are followed by his tongue entering your weeping hole.
Your body arches off the pool table, screams and moan ripping from your throat as he fucks you with his tongue. Again, your hips lift up, but this time Mat doesn’t press them down. He holds up your lower body, burying his face in your pussy.
“Fuck. Just like that, baby. Please don’t stop.”
The vibrations from his moans and grunts make your brain short circuit, the mind numbing sensation has you in its palm.
You reach down, a hand back in his hair and the other planted on his upper back. The cold metal of your ring feels nice against his warm skin.
“I’m going to cum,” you whine, your cunt clenching down on his tongue.
“Not yet.”
“Please,” it comes out in a gasp, Mat’s thick fingers sinking into your pussy.
His fingers move slowly in a come hither motion, dragging out your pleasure and making you wait until you can let that knot in your stomach snap. His tongue flattens against your clit, his face moving side to side to continuously apply friction.
“Maty, please. I can’t do it. I need to cum, please,” you beg, legs closing around Mat’s head.
“I need you to hold it baby,” he whispers against your soaking cunt.
“I can’t. I can’t,” your body is trembling and you’re trying to steady yourself, but it feels too good. Your orgasm is on the brink of destruction.
He sets you down, one hand pressing into your lower abdomen while his fingers fuck up into you. Throwing your head back, both your arms reach out to grip onto something. Tears stream down your face, but you’ve never felt more alive.
“Cum for me, baby. Make a mess,” he finally gives you the green light.
Everything goes blurry, the pressure in your stomach releases and you feel liquid squirt out of you, and the state of euphoria your body is in is unexplainable. Mat’s fingers work you through your orgasm with slow strokes but still enough to make you twitch.
“You’re so beautiful, my love. I didn’t know you could squirt like that,” he muses, pecking your thighs.
You whimper when he pulls his fingers out. It’s erotic the way your release drips down his hand. For a moment, you think he’ll lick it up, but you’re proven wrong when he gets you to sit up. He guides his fingers to your mouth and you willingly suck on them, moaning at the taste of yourself. Your eyes peer into his eyes, hooded and dark, they reel him in. Out are his fingers, and his lips press to yours. Salacious moans pass between your mouths when he sucks on your tongue. He’ll never get tired of your taste.
“I love you,” you whimper, wrapping your arms around his neck to keep him close.
“I love you,” he whispers against your lips, nipping and pulling at your bottom one.
You smile dazedly at him, feeling sleepy and cuddly in his arms.
“Come on, baby. Let me take you upstairs and get you in a bath,” he coos, rubbing at your back.
“In one minute. I want to stay here in your arms for a little while. I missed you today,” you kiss his chin and the side of his jaw.
“Nols and I did, too,” he says.
“Tomorrow we cuddle in bed all day,” you state.
“Whatever you want. Happy Valentine’s Day, baby. I love you,” he tells you.
You look over at the clock hanging on the wall and realize it’s well past midnight.
“Happy Valentine’s Day, baby daddy. I love you so much,” you kiss him once more.
“I actually have a small surprise for you,” you whisper into his mouth.
“What’s that, pretty girl?” He looks at you expectantly.
You pull your tank top over your head with one hand, so the other can still cover up your tattoo. Slowly, you move your hand away to finally show off the ‘13.’
“Holy shit. No way, babe. That’s hot,” Mat gasps, reaching out to touch it.
“Just for you, baby,” you softly whimper, your skin still sore from the incessant needle.
He looks at you with such tender love and feral, sexual desire. You can feel the tension fill the room again, your cunt begging for him and his cock straining against his basketball shorts. You’re both in for a long night.
a/n: Happy Valentine’s Day my lovelies! I hope you know you’re loved so much🫶 I hope you all enjoy!
171 notes · View notes
vertigoed · 1 year
Text
tinder || satoru gojo
PART 2 out
Tumblr media
gojo: do you want to have sex?
you stare at your phone with a mixture of disappointment and disgust. this satoru gojo that you matched with was truly a wasted potential. he was your ideal type- tall, massive shoulders and muscly forearms with a pretty face and beautiful blue eyes. every photo on his profile looked like an editorial just by his aura that oozed from the screen.
seriously? not even a hello, how are you? you think to yourself and a sigh escaped your lips, wondering if you should delete him.
normally you would instantly unmatch the guys who asked such vulgar questions upfront. usually, you don't even bother replying, but this time, you found yourself replying to this 30 year old man.
a part of you enjoyed the shred of attention given by this stanger. even though you knew he probably sent the same message to every women he's matched with and fucks anything with a hole.
the man was atrociously stunning, the type to have you squealing on the bed when you realised he swiped back on you. the type to have, without a doubt, thousands of matches spamming his inbox with beautiful women all over the globe asking to meet up with him.
your heart beats fast as you press send.
you: no
you knew you were just playing hard to get, he was probably aware of that too. you wouldn't be surprised if he didn't answer. but within a couple minutes, you get a notification.
gojo: well that's unfortunate
gojo: i really wanted to be with you
your heart pounds faster. you were ashamed at the fact that you were blushing over a stranger asking you for sex. he didn't even have the common courtesy to ask what your interests are, let alone ask how your night is going. you were better than this, right?
you: it's unfortunate that you're such a pervert.
he begins typing back straight away.
gojo: do you want me to take you out on a date before or something?
your eyes roll at how cocky he sounded. this man obviously knew he was attractive and could get away with saying anything he wanted. you chew on your lip as you type your response.
you: obviously why would i sleep with someone i don't know?
gojo: you'll like me though
you decide you'll wait a bit before you reply, not wanting to give him too much validation. you go on his profile, raising an eyebrow at the vague description he had.
Satoru Gojo, 30
occupation: sensei
i like quick texters
perfect, he can wait two hours then, you think to yourself and placed your phone down. it was hard for you to ignore the buzz of your phone, instead you try to focus on the anime playing on the tv screen.
you found yourself checking the time every ten minutes or so, until you couldn't resist seeing what he said.
gojo: let me take you out then and we'll see if you let me fuck you
this time round, something else inside of you fluttered. you hold back the smile creeping on your face, fingers hovering over your phone as you thought of what to say.
you: i dont like to meet strangers without getting to know them first
you had a slight feeling he was going to give up by this point as he just seemed desperate for a quick fuck. even though the man was irresistibly hot, he could be a deranged serial killer so you had to play it safe.
gojo: wanna facetime then?
your eyes widen, your hands instantly reaching to your bed hair as you read his message. there was no way in hell you were going to facetime him. you gulp and toss your phone to the bed again, not knowing what you were going to say.
an hour passed and your phone buzzed again.
gojo: stop playing hard to get, it doesn't work on me
you smirked and typed your answer: it's working isn't it?
gojo: facetime me or you're a bitch
you: i guess i'm a bitch then
gojo: can i call you other names when i fuck you?
your mouth drops at his obnoxious message. you feel yourself tingle at the thought and that truly made you hate every fibre of your being.
normally, guys like satoru disgusted you. turned you off, made you want to gag. as your eyes were glued to the television, you were deep in thought, questioning your entire morals and self esteem. were you really going to let a random man objectify you, just because he was hot?
you look at his profile photo again and you don't even realise that foolish smile you had. i guess a face like that gets a free pass, you think to yourself.
you: we shall see
-
PART 2 out
masterlist
649 notes · View notes
maruwrites · 28 days
Text
nonstop
Nationals Semifinals - Women’s Category
Kuroo Tetsurou prides himself on being observant.
"Mine!"
The scream echoes through the volleyball court. The sound travels around the space like a bullet, piercing through. He can feel it with the buzzing on his ears, the prickling of his arm hairs, the taut of his abdomen. There's very little room in this large gymnasium for anything other than your voice.
Right behind the court, Kuroo watches you as you spread your arms out, demanding room and stopping other players from trying to take the ball. The high ball gets caught in your expert hands, landing perfectly on the spiker’s hand near the net. Setting on the first touch is a risk. He can feel a tiny bead of sweat on his own forehead.
Kuroo Tetsurou loves volleyball.
He's also an excellent student, son and grandson, captain.
To him, all those things are real. Concrete.
He enjoys the game itself, the tactics, discussing new plays, trying to defeat the competition, improve his team. Being a captain is also important to him and he does it well, comforting the players when all they need are gentle words and confronting them when a firm stance is demanded. And he takes care of them.
He also likes studying. The comfort of providing right answers to tough questions proves in and of itself enough reward to someone who's so analytical, observant, smart. Opening up a book, gathering knowledge, putting that to the test—it's grounding and, god forbid, fun for him.
He's also someone one can rely on. The way his obaa-chan dotes on him, his dad prides himself on calling him "his son". An excellent friend too, with the way he watches over Kenma, always concerned with the younger boy—his eating and sleeping habits, his ability to communicate with the other players of the Nekoma volleyball team. He's the caring kind and, if you ask his obaa-chan, has always been this way, ever since he was a little kid.
So, it makes sense that there's little room for other things. Like, say, romance.
Kuroo Tetsurou is observant so, naturally, he knows.
He knows about the girls who swoon over him, whether they confess it on the hallway, with a letter or even an onigiri atop his desk every Friday for three months. The ones who don't say anything are only being slightly less obvious. The flitting of their eyes, blushing of their cheeks, twirling of their hands—it all points towards something that he's, by now, on his third year of high school, well aware of.
Kuroo supposes it makes sense. He is tall, with an athletic, muscly build, even if his body is more towards the lean side. He can't fix his hair for his life, but the more obvious girls have already pointed out to him that it's part of his charm. Plus, he is genuinely nice and tries to get along with everyone, shining his smirk to whomever crosses his path. So, yeah. It makes sense.
Kuroo Tetsurou, however, finds it all too abstract.
Maybe because he doesn't have the time, maybe because this romantic inclination has never hit him. Being a child of divorce might also factor in.
Still, there seems to be no substance to it, though.
Not that he doesn't get it, because he does. He thinks some of his suitors are pretty, there's a poster of a sake ad with a particularly busty lady in the boy's clubroom that catches his eye and he is, after all, high-schooler. But it remains too abstract.
The volleyball club, his almost spotless track record as a student, his home life. That's real, that's concrete.
The opposing team strikes and the ball hits Nekoma's blockers, flying to the end of the court. His eyes are now watching you, sprinting with all your might to catch the ball from the libero, sending in flying toward the ace.
Kuroo Tetsurou feels tethered.
This is also real. The way he can feel himself grounded, glued to the floor, like his own weight could be enough to open up a hole underneath him. The strap of his gym bag weighs on his shoulders, his hand griping it until it pales, his fingernails piercing the fabric. He can't tell if he's breathing too fast or not at all. His heart sits heavy on his chest, watching you.
Nekoma's match point has turned into a rally and god, this point belongs to this team. He's been watching them for a while now and knows how much they've grown, how they've improved into this well-oiled machine, the most important piece being, of course, you. The new setter.
With a philosophy that focuses on receiving and connecting, the women’s team had been suffering in the past two years when its former setter graduated high school. The backup only played volleyball for fun and as such, wouldn’t and couldn’t lead the team to Nationals. Now, it's only natural that Nekoma would rely so much on a player that managed to turn their last bad years around and bring them back to the basics: connection.
One of Nekoma's wing spiker strikes, but the ball gets stopped by the blockers on the other side. The libero digs, barely managing to catch it with an underarm pass, sending it high up and towards the other team’s side. It’s gonna be an out, Nekoma will lose this point, he thinks. Then, she shouts your name.
Kuroo holds his breath as he watches you run from the front of the court, under the net and onto the other side, your sneakers squeaking when you jump off the ground. You look like you're flying, both hands above making their way to the moving ball. You're untethered, he thinks, feeling himself get heavier. You make a pass to a spiker coming from the back, catching the opposing team by surprise, ball landing heavily on the ground, finally claiming this long rally and, with it, the match.
He closes his eyes and exhales, his grip going slack. When he opens them again, you're on the ground looking up, breathing heavily, clenching your firsts. Then you punch the court and let out a scream, being followed by your teammates as they pile on top of you, the backups running from the back of the court to celebrate with everyone.
Kuroo Tetsurou prides himself on being observant.
Yet a part of him feels like he's only now seeing things clearly.
hello everyone, tis been a while been thinking about coming back for some time now and i have a few kuroo fics i'm hoping to publish this year. bear with me, as i have three ideas toying around in my head lol
as always, any feedback is appreciated.
hope you enjoy and stick around for the rest
123 notes · View notes
finelinevogue · 2 years
Note
so how do loveisland!harry x yn get paired together then?
i’m glad u asked anon ahahah
“Are you ready to meet out next islander?” Laura Whitmore, the co-presenter of the show asked.
The sun was scorching down on you as you were stood in line with the five other girls. You were stood in the middle, in between Gemma and Paige.
Gemma had already been coupled up with Liam and Tasha was with Andrew and now it was time for the next man to walk down the villa to meet his match.
Literally
“Yes!” A chorus of islanders replied, whilst you stood with your hands in front of you so you had something to play with to calm your nerves.
“Okay, let’s welcome guy number 3.”
Everyone cheered and clapped and awaited the guy to walk down the side of the villa and towards where you were all standing.
Because you were on the far side you couldn’t get first glance at him, but as he slowly made his way down and further towards you you could feel your heart start to buzz with butterflies.
When he finally arrived in front of Laura, giving her a gentleman’s hug and cheek kiss, he turned towards all of you and waved to say hello.
He was gorgeous. Pretty. Handsome. Adorable.
He was just your type to a T. Although you didn’t know when the cameras would be on you, if someone was recording you right now you’d no doubt be blushing from how immediately attracted you were to this man.
“Harry, welcome.”
Harry.
What a perfect name for a perfect man. You only hoped his personality was as charming as his exterior, because he looked as delicious as a banana-split sundae right now.
“Thank you. Happy to be here.” He replied and it send a warmth, hotter than the already burning sun; into your chest. His voice was so melodic and toned.
“How are you dealing with the heat?”
“It is very hot isn’t it?” He joked and everyone laughed, including you.
“So here are our girls.” Laura panned her hand to show off all your stunning women. “Two are already coupled up but you still have the choice between four more girls. Paige, Y/N, Indiyah and Amber.”
“Yes.” Harry nodded in understanding. His eyes kept brushing over Amber and you couldn’t help but think he had already decided who he liked - and it wasn’t you.
His eyes briefly brushed back down the line and your eyes met his. From here you could make out they were green, but you would do anything to see them a little bit closer up. His smile was cheeky and it made you smile too, but you tried to remain as calm as possible so it wasn’t too awkwardly obvious how into him you were.
“However the choice isn’t yours.” Here came the plot twist.
“No?” Harry raised his eyebrows.
“No. Instead, the public have coupled you up with the girl they think you’d be best with.”
“Oh okay.” He nodded his head.
“Y’more nervous now?” Laura tried to dig for a little more of a reaction than he was giving already.
“No. They’re all really stunning people so I would be happy with any of them.” He said it so genuinely that you couldn’t stop your heart from wanting him more and more.
It didn’t help that he just looked absolutely divine. He wasn’t overly chunky and muscly like the other guys were, but instead he was perfectly toned. He had just the right amount of muscles and the tattoos were just a glorious addition. Normally you weren’t too into them, but for a man as handsome as him you’d let it slide.
“Eyes on anyone in particular though.”
“Maybe. Maybe.” He said but looked down at his shoes so it wasn’t as obvious who he was talking about. No doubt Amber though. She was stunning.
“Harry. The girl that you are going to be coupled up with is….” The suspension really had you hanging. “Y/N.”
Instead of the normal reaction of a simple nod or no reaction at all because you’re not overly happy, Harry fist bumped the air and shouted ‘yes!’. The rest of the islanders laughed and Harry quickly walked over to you, not wasting another second without getting to greet you.
“Hi.” He said softly against your ear as he leaned down to politely hug you.
“Hi.” You whispered back, trying your hardest to keep you excitement contained.
“Y’look a very happy man Harry.” Laura stated the obvious.
Harry stood close behind you, but you were too nervous to turn around just yet. He smelt amazing and you’d have to ask him what he used so you could buy it an spray it over your pillow sheets.
“So so happy. Yes.”
“I’m taking it Y/N was your ‘maybe’ from before?”
“Maybe.” He answered and you smiled at how this experience had just gone from amazing to extraordinary.
831 notes · View notes
Note
Hi there
I know you said you don’t do requests and I suppose this isn’t technically a request but I’ve been wondering if you’d ever write something with Ivan Drago and a female reader who’s insecure about her body (this is kind of a self insert ngl). Like, how would he act? Would he constantly assure her that she’s pretty and would he pay special attention to certain parts of her body she doesn’t like during lovemaking? I’d personally love to read something like that but it’s totally up to you if you wanna write it.
Keep up the good work, love your stories btw ❤️
Omg hell yes! (Why didn't I think of this?) I'm insecure af so this is also self insert af on my part. Enjoy!
Tumblr media
Headcanon/Preference # 32
Picture & Gif NOT mine.
Year posted - 2023
*So I've got this coworker that I get along with well. And he's a muscly guy that's into plus size women, and we've talked about that sorta stuff a lot. So I'm using his insight about why a guy like that, would be attracted to a bigger girl. He'll never see this but hey shout out to him. Also a real story might just come out of this in time, but for now enjoy these headcanons.
Tumblr media
✨Ivan loves his plus size sweetheart~
Tumblr media
🌹 When Ivan first met you he was immediately drawn to you like a magnet. He'd never seen a woman like you in Soviet Russia, and you looked like a pure goddess in his eyes.
🌹 When he finally got the chance to touch you for the first time. He was instantly smitten, your so soft and squeezable. He's not used to that, and he's finding that he's obsessed with the contrast.
🌹 Once you're together Ivan will spend hours worshipping you from head to toe. Every single inch of you is paradise to him. But his favorite part? Your soft tummy.
🌹 There's just something beautiful about your soft plump belly. It's his favorite thing to caress and kiss, and often times his favorite place to lay his head. And one day he hopes he'll get to see it swell more with his child.
🌹 On a bad day when you were feeling particularly down about your pudgy body, Ivan took the time to explain to you why he loves your supple body so much.
🌹 Everything in his life until now has been hard and rough, from his work, to his home life, his environment, and so forth. Finding you was like an oasis to him.
🌹 When you try comparing yourself to his ex-wife, he immediately stops you. Making you chuckle by telling you she was like a skeleton, and nowhere near as cozy and lovable as you are.
🌹 During intimacy Ivan shows you what love making really means, his words of praise, his adoring touch that leaves fire in its wake, and his hunger to show you just how much he wants you makes you dizzy.
🌹 If anyone says anything bad about you while Ivan is around, odds are he'll kick there ass, or at the very least he'll berate them. Ultimately making them apologize no matter what tactic he uses.
🌹 If he's not around, and only learns about it when you break down and tell him about it. He's pulling you into his arms and assuring you that they don't know a single thing about what their missing with someone as amazing as you. (Making a mental note to scare the shit out of them next time he sees them.)
🌹 You got stretch marks? Ivan will trace them idly, and commit them all to memory, mapping out the span of them as if it were vital.
🌹 Got cellulite? He'll caress every inch, nuzzle into it, and all around worship it. Explaining that it makes you more you, and that much more beautiful.
🌹 Not a big fan of how pudgy your face is? Ivan is cupping your cheeks. Looking into your eyes with so much love, as he tells you how cute your chubby cheeks are. And to him you are still small, as his hands can easily cup your cheeks.
🌹 Got big boobs? He fucking adores them, he adores you! There big and round and soft, the perfect place to lay his head at night when you cuddle. Plus there fun to play with not gonna lie. (and not just sexually, but that's a plus too.)
🌹 Not a fan of the size or shape of your butt? Are you kidding? Ivan is obsessed with smacking your ass every single chance he gets, doesn't matter who's around or where you are!
🌹 Worried you'll never fit in his shirts? Haha that's funny! Ivan is huge, you'll fit in his shirts just fine. Maybe not swimming in it, but it'll fit comfortably.
🌹 Ivan grows obsessed with making sure you're well fed, and simply watching you eat. It makes him feel like he is providing for you well, and that makes him very happy. (Plus you look adorable when you do a happy little food dance.)
🌹 Once he convinced you to sit on his face, though you had agreed anxiously, you still refused to actually sit down, and instead hovered over him. That wasn't gonna fly, so Ivan pulled you flush against his face, and gave you the best head you've ever experienced in your life.
🌹 Anytime you act as if you'll crush him, maybe saying he'll strain or hurt himself picking you up. He'll prove you wrong again and again, when he just hoists you up as if you weighed nothing. If anything he takes those worries as a challenge, and he'll never fail in proving you wrong.
🌹 The first time you wore a sexy lace piece for him, he was practically drooling. Needless to say the lace was ruined in his nearly feral haste to have you. But he happily bought you more, a lot more.
🌹 Within a year of being with Ivan, and him chipping away at your insecurities. You become the confident goddess you were meant to be! And he's so fucking proud of you, he's always showing you off, and praising you.
🌹 Ivan doesn't want you to change for anyone, not even him. He loves you just the way you are, it's what drew him to you in the first place. And he's beyond honored for not only getting to love you, but to show you just how sexy you truly are.
Tumblr media
Buy me a coffee sometime? ☕️
(Click the coffee for my Kofi link, IT'S NOT NECESSARY BTW.)
*Hope this was satisfactory!
115 notes · View notes
tinfairies · 1 year
Note
Aegon 110% loves Northern women. Cregan Starks sister, Aegons betrothed, who has been trained beside him for just as long as he has and now has a bigger build with muscles and quite broad shoulders, thick muscly thighs, string jaw, calloused hands etc… she’s got the northern height too (5’10”) at first he hated being fucking betrothed to someone all the way in the fucking North, he would hate being betrothed to anyone but when he spots this giant goddess who doesn’t take his shit and puts him in his place (Northern people follow their oaths so if Aegon isn’t sticking to his marriage vows he better be prepared for a bruised ego. And arse…). The people of Kings Landing would look at them weirdly because why is Aegon the one wearing jewels and his wife’s houses sigil, there’s direwolfs all over his clothes he wears a direwolf necklace and he’s the one who has his hair looking all pretty and curled and he smells like flowers and he doesn’t train, eats cakes and sweets and visits the city, while his wife is training, doesn’t wear red and black for house Targaryen but instead has a golden dragon on the top of her sword (it’s Sunfyre, Aegon hates his family so she wears his dragon instead. he blushed when she said it’s so she can take him everywhere with her) wears armour, carries weapons, has braids on the edges of her hair while most of it is up in some type of mullet to keep out of her face. Why is she the husband? And he the wife?
He doesn’t care though. He had a big burly lady who kisses his forehead and smacks his arse when she walks past him, he’s obsessed with this woman.
I'd be obsessed with her too tbh
50 notes · View notes
aromanticannibal · 7 months
Text
I'm still so obsessed with this horikoshi sketch.
Tumblr media
not because it's endeavor, I don't particularly care, but because. like. like.
this is exactly like horikoshi's sketches of his muscular girlies, who he clearly likes a lot. and it's so funny to me.
exhibit a and B :
Tumblr media Tumblr media
miruko's upside down but like you see it anyways
and horikoshi doesn't like. draw his other male characters like that?
Tumblr media Tumblr media
even aizawa, who's pretty muscular (when he's not wearing his magic jumpsuit that makes him look skinny old and sickly, probably a rational deception /j) isn't drawn like that. which might be related to horikoshi originally wanting to make aizawa all of his own flaws/things he didn't like about himself (long messy hair is the only one that comes to me rn I swear I'm not making this up) but still, aizawa definitely deserves a hot sketch of his muscly arms too. even more than enji even
Tumblr media Tumblr media
BUT the endeavor sketch does look like the same style as (on top of the nana and miruko sketches, sketches of pretty muscular women) horikoshi's cute girl sketches :
Tumblr media Tumblr media
like. go back to the endeavor sketch I don't have any pictures allowed left but. everything on this sketch looks like horikoshi tried to make him look hot very deliberatly. the tank top. the half lidded eyes. the shading. the pose. why the fuck is he fixing his hair. whats going on. it looks so incredibly seemilar to the nana sketch to me - also the miruko one but again. shes upside down.
anyways im not sure what my point is. horikoshi likes muscely men maybe. horikoshi is an enji simp and thats why he hasn't killed him off yet /j. idk.
7 notes · View notes
Text
Henry Danger Reader Insert | Captain Man x Reader: SEASON 3
Episode 1: A Fiñata Full of Death Bugs
~The Man Cave~
So, the secret was out. Jasper knew about Henry being Kid Danger and reluctantly, Ray had agreed to take the kid under his wing as yet another helper in his store and secret hideout. Honestly, he needed to stop taking children into his employment, the place was starting to be so crowded. 
It also didn't help that Jasper was the latest addition. He was a sweet boy, who'd never hurt a fly, but he was clumsy, a blabbermouth and let's face it, a bit annoying and weird at times. Henry wasn't worried and neither was (y/n), they knew he'd be fine, a little excitable at first, but fine. However, the same couldn't be said for Ray, who was frantically pacing a groove into the Man Cave's floor the next morning.
"I don't know about this, man, I dunno." He panicked, making Henry and (y/n) roll their eyes at him as they watched him from the couch. The young woman was still in her pyjamas, having wanted to stay comfy for the first part of Saturday and was happily munching her cereal as Ray worked himself up over the Jasper predicament.
Tumblr media
"Come on, it's gonna be great," Henry told him, not seeing what the big deal was.
"Yeah, everything's gonna be fine." (y/n) shrugged, seeing that Ray was in one of his drama-queen fits again. If he got out of hand, she'd be the one to say some soothing words and cuddle him until he smiled again, but for now, it was best to just ride the wave.
"Oh, that's exactly what you said when you talked me into eating one of those women's energy bars. Then I couldn't stop reading books about princesses!" The large man pouted, not liking how Henry and (y/n) smirked at the memory. It was pretty funny to see such a muscly guy reading about Princess Sugarplum and her rainbow unicorn magic land. 
"Dude, I've known Jasper my whole life." The boy told him, but it didn't calm his boss down.
"That does not mean he's qualified to have a job here!" Ray pointed out, thinking that you needed special skills and references or some shit to work for him. 
"Ray, you hired me when I was twenty. I didn't exactly have qualifications, apart from my degree. Literally, no life experience." (y/n) gave him her annoyed face and he backed off. He hated and loved when she was right.
"Dah!" He groaned, not liking how his morning was going. Maybe Charlotte's enthusiasm could cheer him up. 
"Happy Saturday morning!" She smiled at her friends after coming down the tube with a grin on her face. Well, she was certainly full of beans.
"Yo." Henry returned her smile, glad to see that Ray was the only one freaking out about having Jasper around now. 
"Hey, Char." (y/n) greeted warmly as she scooped the last of her cereal from the milk in her bowl. She'd have to get dressed soon, but she could wait a little longer.
"Maybe you're happy," Ray grumbled, walking past the young girl to lean on the couch with his back turned on his friends. He was such a child sometimes.
"Char, will you tell Ray that Jasper working at Junk-N-Stuff isn't gonna be a problem?" Henry asked his friend, who usually was another voice of reason around the Man. Cave, but it seemed like she was sceptical of Jasper's abilities to stay calm and collected too.
"I can't tell lies before breakfast." She shrugged and sauntered over to the auto-snacker so she could get some food. Ray was glad that someone was seeing sense, but Henry was about to ruin his mood again.
"Here ya go." The boy said and held out a candy bar for Ray to eat.
"What's this?" He asked, reading the scientific nonsense printed on the packaging. Something about protein or micronutrients and he was so busy deciphering the mumbo-jumbo, he didn't see (y/n) snickering as she slurped the honeyed milk left from her breakfast. 
"Lady bar." Henry deadpanned and milk erupted from (y/n)'s mouth as Ray shrieked and threw it away in terror. He looked at her with an expression of playful betrayal as she dabbed the milk away from around her mouth and shared a smirk with Henry. She was so beautiful like this; no makeup, no one to please, just her as natural as she could be, laughing and joking around with his beloved sidekick. It managed to melt some of his apprehension away as he admired the delightfully innocent scene.
"Scrambled eggs," Charlotte instructed the auto-snacker, wanting to get some food into her growling belly.
"Ew, I can't believe you like those." (y/n) grumbled to the girl as she overheard her order. She much preferred her cereal to start her day, probably because it didn't smell gross like scrambled eggs.
"Oh, he's here." Henry's announcement drew everyone's focus away from Charlotte's eggs for a moment and they all looked at the supercomputer. The monitor showed that Jasper was waiting outside Junk-N-Stuff's door and Ray groaned loudly. As (y/n) snuggled into his side last night (insomnia had put her there, would you believe it), he had been praying for Jasper to suddenly change his mind or magically forget about Henry being his sidekick, but his wishes hadn't come true. 
"Hey, what's up?" Henry pressed the button that connected the computer's microphone to the speaker outside the store and Jasper smiled brightly. Ray frowned at the sight of the boy and (y/n) came over from her cosy spot on the couch to see what all the fuss was about. 
"Hey! Jasper Dunlop, here to see Captain Man and Kid Danger!" Jasper saluted his new boss, who blanched at his loud tone and quickly cut the link before the whole neighbourhood heard his yapping.
"Shhhhh!" Henry tried to quieten him down, but it was too late; Ray's feathers were ruffled.
"Did ya hear that? He's gonna blab all our secrets to the whole world!" He squeaked at Henry and (y/n), both of whom had to admit that Jasper had messed up there, but he'd only been at work for three seconds, they had to give him a chance.
"No, not after we show him our video," Henry said calmly, taking (y/n)'s advice that to deal with an overreacting Ray, you had to be the calm one. Henry didn't have her feminine qualities to help him win over Ray, but he could definitely be cool-headed.
"It's probably just first day nerves and excitement coming through. Give him a chance, Raymond." (y/n) stepped forward and loving rubbed her palms against his chest in a soothing manner, which was her special technique to get him to let go of his anger. It had taken a few years to suss out, but it was a good method and one that Ray enjoyed more than he let on.
"Fine. Just get him down here, get him down here." Ray caved and sent Henry off to collect Jasper from the store so he could show him the way into the Man Cave. 
"Hey, I think something's wrong with the auto-snacker," Charlotte commented to the adults as Henry disappeared into the elevator. 
"Oh, god, not again. What's the problem?" (y/n) asked as Ray grumbled. More problems? Typical, like his day could get any worse. 
"I ordered scrambled eggs and I'm still standin' here, eggless," Charlotte told her, but Ray wasn't up for solving anyone else's issues, just his own.
"Well, I'm stressed out! I need my wireless headphones." He replied and turned around to grab them so he could block out the world and all the annoying teenage boys it brought into his home.
"What about the...scrambled eggs! Eggs-o-day scramble-dee-oh-so!" Charlotte gave up trying to get help from Ray and thumped the machine for her food. Geez, she was starving and she just wanted one plate of eggs. Was that too much to ask?
"Mashed potatoes." The automated voice returned, making Charlotte frown.
"What did I say that sounded anything like mashed potatoes? (y/n), help meeee!" She whined and turned to the young woman for assistance. She knew about electronics and circuit board stuff, maybe she could get her some eggs.
"Ray, can you come help---ah!" She was taken by surprise as her best friend grabbed her by the waist and pulled her into a bone-crushing embrace. She fell into his crossed-legged lap and instinctively snuggled against him as he caged her in and refused to let go.
"I'm sorry, I need to listen to my meditation music and hug my best friend and calm down my inner parts." Ray panted in hyperventilation and swiftly shoved his headphones over his ears and held (y/n) to his chest. 
"Aw, poor baby." (y/n)'s bottom lip quivered at how worried he looked and immediately set about doing everything she could to soothe his nerves. She had no idea he was this stressed and she stroked small patterns onto his skin with her pointer finger. He felt his anxiety smooth out as he let the soft music and the sensation of having the essence of his girl carry him off to his happy place.
"Ugh, useless...Ooh, here we go. " Charlotte groaned when she saw them shut out the world just so they could get some cuddle time in. No matter, she could figure this out herself and things were going well as the snack machine's hatch opened.
"Sweet girl, oh my god, I'm freaking out," Ray mumbled in a chanting voice as he pressed his lips to her head, hoping the fruity, familiar scent of her shampoo would ground him.
"Just relax, I'm here." She whispered and brushed her hand over his eyes so they would flutter shut. She just needed him to stay calm, so she ran her fingers through his floppy brown hair in an attempt to do so.
"All right, where are my scrambled eggs?" Charlotte pondered and foolishly stuck her head in the machine to see if she could yank them out. As expected, it didn't go to plan.
"Om--maha is not the capital of Nebraska." Ray carried on chanting, silently loving the way his girl was fawning over him. He always had her to help him through the bad times and now, his spine was tingling from the way fingers ignited his skin and her warm breath tingled against his neck.
"Get me out of here!" Neither of them saw how Charlotte had been sucked into the auto-snacker as her screams for help were drowned out by Ray's music and (y/n) had dozed off when the warmth of Ray's body seeped through her thin pyjamas and lulled her to sleep. 
"Ommm...Masaki is when you let your sushi chef choose your sushi for you." Ray continued to say random facts to himself as he cradled the young woman in his arms and the sound of his voice blocked out Charlotte's shouting. He was more than happy to let her sleep in his arms and to see her peaceful face was the most soothing thing she could've given him.
~Meanwhile, in Junk-N-Stuff~
Henry had welcomed Jasper into the store and the boy was full of enthusiasm for his first day working as Captain Man's secret assistant. This was his dream come true and he was adamant that he was gonna make a good start. 
"Why are you wearing a tie?" Henry asked as he noticed Jasper's unusually formal outfit. All he would be doing was serving customers in a junk store, he didn't need to look so fancy.
"Oh, 'cause it's my first day at work and I wanna make a good impression." The curly-haired boy explained, but Henry knew that he didn't need to put in so much effort. Ray was a stickler for formality, in fact, he kinda loved being goofy.
"Take off the tie," Henry instructed him and Jasper stroked the material sadly. He thought it looked rather dashing. Still, he followed after Henry and the two friends walked into the back together so they could take the elevator.
"Whoa, the back room." Jasper gasped at the unfamiliar territory, even though it wasn't that cool. It was just another front full of junk that kept the real wonder down below a secret.
"Uh-huh." Henry just nodded and stepped into the elevator, wanting to see the real surprise on Jasper's face when he saw the Man Cave.
"Now, uh...don't get scared." He warned him as he pressed the button. Everyone's first trip in that damn elevator was hell and it was certain that it would leave Jasper shaken.
"Dude, this ain't my first elevator ride." He shrugged, thinking that it couldn't be that bad. Oh, how wrong he was. As soon as the bottom was released from Henry's finger, the elevator dropped, making Jasper scream in terror as he felt his body go weightless. Henry, on the other hand, was perfectly cool and collected as he had had nearly two years to get used to the roughness of the trip down. They landed with a bump and the door slid open to reveal that Jasper was clutching Henry's leg for dear life. 
"Oh." He realised that his brush with death was over and he quickly got to his feet before anyone else saw how scared he had been.
"Okay, I got him," Henry told Ray, who had gotten over his anxiety enough to release (y/n) from his arms and let her go get dressed. He was waiting for her to get back and in the meantime, was bringing the floating TV down from the ceiling. 
"Hey, boss!" Jasper smiled brightly, feeling so proud that he was standing in the actual, real-life Man Cave and was reporting for duty to the Captain Man. 
"Good morning, Jasper," Ray replied in a strained voice. God, his cheeriness was annoying. 
"Guess what I'm wearing." The boy said happily, not realising that he was grinding down Ray's gears.
"A goofy tie?" The large man guessed, praying that his girl would hurry up and talk to the kid so he didn't have to. She was so much better at being nice to everyone than he was and it was probably why they fit so well together.
"No, what I'm wearing down here." Jasper pointed to his pants and everyone could guess what he was referring to.
"Okay." Henry cringed, wishing that Jasper could have said anything but that, especially to Ray and on his first day.
"Son, I uh...don't wanna know--" Ray tried to say that he didn't want to see anything like that from Jasper, but it was too late.
"Captain Manderpants!" Oh god. The sight of Jasper's underwear was too much for Ray and the knowledge that the kid was walking around with his face in his...made it even worse. 
"Henry?" He squeaked at his sidekick and now, he was thankful that (y/n) was still getting dressed. This wasn't something a sweet, innocent lady needed to see.
"Put your underwear back in your pants, you're making him uncomfortable." Henry hissed at Jasper in a mortified tone and he quickly rearranged his clothing as Ray pretended to text. Jesus, someone needed to break the tension and that someone was on hand to do it.
"Hey! Oh...hello, Jasper, nice to see you survived the elevator ride." A fully-dressed (y/n) smiled as she descended the stairs from the sprocket and gave her new friend a warm and inviting smile. If anyone could make him feel welcome, it was her.
"Yeah, thank you, Miss Danger," Jasper replied politely, not wanting to upset anyone else. 
"Oh, (y/n)'s fine, you don't have to be so fancy with me. And might I add that you're wearing a devastatingly handsome tie." She joked when she saw the hotdog pattern and her friendliness put the teen at ease. Her mere presence took the edge off the awkwardness for Ray too.
"Uh, where'd Charlotte go?" Henry asked suddenly, looking around for his other friend who had mysteriously disappeared.
"I dunno, probably somewhere." Ray shrugged, still feeling a little off at having a new, unwanted face in his Man Cave. 
"She was around here earlier, maybe she went to the bathroom." (y/n) offered, making sure to keep her manner pleasant since Ray was being so moody around Jasper. She didn't think the boy was so bad, sure, he was a bit silly and odd, but she was certain that he'd grow to be a valuable member of their team. Little did anyone know that poor Charlotte was still kicking and screaming inside the auto-snacker.
"Now, Jasper..." Ray started, but Jasper's exuberance got the better of him.
"Yes, Captain?!" He asked excitedly and gave a salute, which really pissed off Ray.
"First, never do that." The large man told him harshly, making the boy immediately drop his arm. Geez, Ray could be scary when he wanted to be.
"I don't know, I still kind of like the saluting." (y/n) commented, not afraid of Ray and his temper. Well, she was a bit, but she wouldn't let his childish anger walk all over her.
"Secondly, if you're gonna work upstairs in Junk-N-Stuff, the most important thing to remember is to never reveal my identity or Henry's or (y/n)'s," Ray stated firmly, brushing over (y/n)'s silly comment. To see her so formal around him would be too unnatural for him, even if it was a joke and he just wanted her to be herself around him.
"I get it," Jasper confirmed, understanding that secrecy was their survival. He would never let his friends get hurt and he knew that Captain Man could count on him to keep his identity safe.
"You will get it," Ray replied huskily, confusing the woman and teen on either side of him. 
"Just show him the damn video." (y/n) rolled her eyes at his dramatics and Ray pressed the play button on his remote.
"Never tell the secret. Captain Man, Kid Danger and Miss Danger. If you are watching this video, that means you know their true, secret identities, Ray Manchester, Henry Hart and (y/n) (y/l/n)." The video started and showed a photo of Ray and Henry smiling together as the large man held a beaming (y/n) in his arms. It was cute and one of their best ones together as a crime-fighting trio.
"I love that pic of us," Ray smirked at Henry, knowing that he and his sidekick looked awesome.
"Yeah, we look good." Henry nodded, thinking the same, although he was certain that he'd never drool over (y/n) the way Ray was now.
"Big-heads." The young woman shook her head at their huge egos and didn't see the way Ray was admiring her features on the screen, nor did she see how he took the time to gaze at her in real life. A goddess amongst mere mortals. 
"Help!" Charlotte yelled from inside the auto-snacker, but they were all too focused on the video, so her shouting fell on deaf ears. 
"Revealing the secret could have terrible consequences. Such as tragedy, the end of the earth as we know it and loss of bladder control. And now a personal warning to you from Captain Man, Kid Danger and Miss Danger." It was a crappy video and a bit too dramatic, but it got the message across, even if (y/n) hated seeing herself onscreen.
"Never reveal the secret. Or this could happen to you. Or worse, punk!" The three superheroes said in turn, trying to sound cool, but Henry's outstretched hand covered his face and when Ray tried to move it, it broke the cool façade.
"Hey, friend, guess what? Captain Man is really Ray Manchester and his best friend, (y/n) (y/l/n), she's Miss Danger. And Kid Danger, he's a boy named Henry Hart. Ain't that a juicy secret?" Yeah, it was a weird video. Anything that includes a talking and giggling watermelon, is weird.
"Don't do it." The video ended with Henry, Ray and (y/n) frowning at the camera as they shook their heads and fingers solemnly. If that didn't get the message into Jasper's head, nothing would.
"Any questions?" Henry asked his best friend, who, being an odd boy, had a peculiar one.
"How'd you get that watermelon to talk?" He gasped in amazement, making Ray look at Henry with a pissed off face. This was what Henry wanted to bring into his Man Cave? God help him.
"We have them specially trained." (y/n) replied sarcastically and was surprised when Jasper took her words literally. She could already guess what it was going to be like working with him.
"Help! Help me!" Charlotte yelled from the auto-snacker, where she had managed to get her hand out of the hand.
"What was---Charlotte!" Henry exclaimed when he saw her hand clawing for freedom. The four of them ran over to the machine, but they had no idea how to get her out.
"I'm uncomfortable!" The girl shouted. It was dark and extremely warm in the auto-snack and not somewhere you wanted to stick your whole body into.
"Help me get her out of here!" Henry told Ray and the large man tried to use his superior muscle to prise open the door.
"Charlotte, sweetie, you're not meant to get into the machine just for some eggs!" (y/n) shouted back to the girl, who wasn't up for taking any criticism at that moment. Suddenly, the alarm blared in the Man Cave and the surprise of it made Henry and Ray let go of Charlotte's free arm. Well, that was all her progress undone.
"Uh-oh." Ray aid as he heard it and (y/n) was the first to rush to the computer.
"What's going on?" Jasper asked in confusion as everyone rushed away from Charlotte's problem and onto another one. He just went along with it, thinking that Captain Man probably knew best.
"Ah, geez. Something's going down at the airport." (y/n) groaned as the brief summary of the emergency flashed up onscreen.
"Ooh, is a flight delayed?" The curly-haired boy questioned, even though that wasn't a superhero's area of expertise. Bad guys and end of the world situations, yes, lost baggage and bad food, no.
"No!" Henry told him as Ray bit his tongue. If he said anything bad, it'd just upset his girl and he didn't want that.
"Not really in our job description, curly." (y/n) joked to Jasper, deciding that he should have a nickname to help him fit in. 
"Come on, kid," Ray told Henry and they both moved off to the side of the room as (y/n) kept Jasper back.
"What are you gonna do?" He asked, wondering what all the commotion was about. He was so excited to see Captain Man and Kid Danger, he could barely contain his burning questions.
"We've got a crime to thwart..." Ray started, trying to puff out his chest and appear all cool so (y/n) might look at him would adoring eyes. She did that anyway, always, he just never noticed.
"...At the Swellview Airport." Henry finished, smirking at how good he and his boss sounded.
"Whoa, do you guys plan those rhymes?" Jasper asked as (y/n) giggled. Only Jasper could take away a superhero's confidence just like that.
"Uh, no, no."
"No, they're super organic." Ray and Henry frowned, eager to just get off and go help whoever needed assistance at the airport.
"Aren't you taking Miss Danger with you?" Jasper asked yet another question, but at least it was on a topic Ray was more than happy to talk about.
"Nah, I'll sit this one out." (y/n) smiled at the boy as Ray pouted. He liked it when she came with him and fought the bad guys, it was like they were getting extra time together.
"You sure?" Henry asked, seeing the way Ray was getting all whiny and grumpy from her staying behind. Ugh, that meant he'd be pining all day until they got back.
"Yeah, go save the world without me, one flight at a time." She smiled and Ray begrudgingly accepted that she didn't always want to go out for every emergency. It wasn't a huge job, so three crime fighters seemed a little excessive and there was work to be done in the Man Cave.
"Wait, what about Charlotte?" Jasper asked, but Ray and Henry were already in the middle of blowing their bubbles, so any more questions would have to wait. The boy grinned in wonder as he watched them transform together for the first time and before they set off, Captain Man and Kid Danger ran over to the auto-snacker, where (y/n) had wandered over to check on Charlotte.
"Hey, Charlotte, how's it going in there?" Ray asked her like it was a nice getaway vacation or something. 
"It's going bad! Get me out of this thing!" She yelled back, feeling all sticky and claustrophobic from the hot, tight space she found herself trapped in.
"We can't we got an emergency," Ray told her, even though his best friend was determined to get her out whilst they were gone.
"I'm an emergency!" Charlotte whimpered back, making Ray feel a teensy bit guilty that he wasn't going to stick around and help.
"Can you breathe okay?" Henry asked, wanting to know how bad the conditions were for his friend.
"She's been in there for like two hours, if she couldn't breathe, she'd be dead." (y/n) pointed out and then Charlotte snapped back with some incoherent mumbling.
"Okay, what'd she say?" Henry asked the two adults who were none the wiser.
"Uh, I'm pretty sure she said, "Hey, I'm good, you guys go do what you gotta do"," Ray lied, making (y/n) roll her eyes at him. 
"You two, just go. I'll try and get the machine to spit her out." (y/n) told them and they nodded. She had no idea how she was gonna do it without some expert knowledge, but hey, she'd give it a go.
"Okay, Char. Schwoz will be back in two to three hours to help (y/n)." Henry told his friend as the young woman gave Ray a quick hug goodbye and a peck on the cheek. 'For luck', she kept telling herself like she wasn't just doing it because she loved to feel his skin under her lips.
"Two to three hours?!" Charlotte gasped, but Ray and Henry had already run off to the tubes.
"Wait! What am I supposed to do while you guys are out fighting crime?" Jasper asked the heroes as they slapped their belts and the tubes came down. 
"Just go up to Junk-N-Stuff and watch the store," Henry told him and Ray agreed. That was basically all Jasper had to do for a pretty good salary.
"But I have some questions about my job." The boy whined and Ray had the perfect solution.
"(y/n) can answer all your questions right after we say up the tube." The large man told the boy, making his best friends eye widen at how sneaky he was.
"Raymond Manchester, you get back here or--" She tried to run forward and give him a slap on the arm for leaving all of Jasper's questions to her, but it was too late.
"Up the tube!" They shouted and within seconds, they were gone, leaving (y/n) alone with Jasper and his book full of questions.
"Okay, um...when a customer comes into the store, am I supposed to tell them to leave or act normal?" He asked the woman, who smiled politely and sat down on the couch with him. At least they were starting off easy.
"Just act normal. Sell them whatever they want, but if they start getting weird or try to get in the back, press the emergency alarm behind the counter." She answered, glad that he was asking questions that she knew about.
"Okay...what do I do if a criminal comes into the store and threatens me?" He asked next.
"Run like hell and alert us down here that you're in trouble. We'll come and help you." She smiled, but it got a little tight as another question was asked.
"Okay..." This could take a while. Charlotte better sit tight.
~3 hours later~
"KEEP PULLING, SCHWOZ!" (y/n) yelled to the genius as they fought to get Charlotte out of the auto-snacker. He'd finally returned after hours of waiting and now, he was helping the young woman get her out. She'd tried everything, yanking, pulling, being nice to the machine, but nothing had worked, so it was nice to have an extra pair of hands around. 
"I've got the head!" He replied as he pulled from the sides of Charlotte's head whilst (y/n) kept the door from closing. They were grunting and straining from the effort when Ray and Henry came down the tube after their mission. 
"Hiya!" (y/n) smiled at them breathily as she used all of her strength to keep the hatch from closing.
"Ooh, what a pretty fish you have." Schwoz turned around and saw that his boss had a multi-coloured, cardboard and tissue paper fish thing in his hands.
"You're squeezing my head too hard!" Charlotte whined as she managed to her arms out. Just a little more and she'd be free.
"Well, what do you want us to do?" Schwoz asked her sternly, thinking that they were doing their best to help her and all she was doing was complaining.
"Let go!" The teen directed him, not realising what the implications of that action would be.
"Kay-kay." Schwoz smiled, more than happy to give his aching arms a rest from all the pulling.
"Wait, no, no, no! Schwoz!" (y/n) groaned as the girl was released back into the machine, undoing all of their hard work. Well, there was no point in holding the door open now.
"Uh, did Charlotte just get sucked into--" Henry started, but the young woman was too agitated to hear it all out loud.
"Yes. Yes, she did, meaning that the last hour of us busting our asses to get her out has been for nothing. Right, Schwoz?" The young woman hissed and looked directly at Schwoz, who wasn't that worried about the problem or her anger.
"Relax, I'll get her out in a minute." Schwoz brushed her off, which made her fold her arms and sulk at his complacent attitude.
"What's that?" She asked her best friend, strolling over to him in hopes that he'd give her a hug and make her feel better.
"This thing is a fiñata." Ray smiled at her, but she eyed the "fiñata" suspiciously when she heard a buzzing noise come from inside it.
"Yeah, see, it's like a piñata, but, like, fish-themed," Henry explained, making Schwoz roll his eyes at how they were infantilising him.
"I know what a fiñata is." He said in an obvious tone.
"Um, Ray, why is your fiñata buzzing?" (y/n) asked as she poked one of the fish's fins, which probably wasn't a good idea. Ray manoeuvred it out of her reach and she got the message that it was dangerous in some way. 
"Well, I bet you didn't know that this fiñata is filled with live Zom-bees." He told Schwoz and shook the thing at the little guy, making him and (y/n) step back and hide behind the couch.
"Ayee!" Schwoz cowered as (y/n) covered her ears and glared at her best friend. That was a mean trick.
"Raymond, you can't bring Zom-bees into the Man Cave. If the fiñata breaks, they'll fly into our ears and eat our brains and y'know, I'm quite fond of mine!" The young woman pointed out and used her cutest eyes to make Ray get on her side. 
"Well, you'd be okay 'cause your super regeneration would repair your damaged brain cells, but we'd all die!" Schwoz corrected her, which made (y/n) feel worse. Why did she have to be the survivor of the Zom-bee attack and see all her friends get their brains munched on?
"We know," Ray told the genius and gave (y/n) his most calming smile. He didn't want her to be afraid.
"Yeah, so, how do we get rid of it?" Henry asked his boss, feeling just as nervous as (y/n) and Schwoz around the Zom-bee-filled thing.
"Uh, take it upstairs to Junk-N-Stuff. I'll call animal control and have 'em come pick up that fiñata of death." The superhero replied and gave the colourful fish a dark look. He wanted that thing gone before it freaked his girl out even more. 
"Okay, I'll bring it upstairs." Henry nodded, being careful not to break the fragile casing. He'd be the first one to have his brain eaten if they escaped and he definitely didn't fancy that.
"Don't forget to change your clothes." (y/n) reminded him, seeing that Henry was headed straight for Junk-N-Stuff as Kid Danger. That would be a hard one to explain if a customer saw him.
"Oh, yeah," Henry responded and tried to get his tube out whilst balancing the fiñata under his arm, which didn't go well. He stumbled and nearly dropped the thing, spooking the adults as it nearly split open.
"Hey, hey!" Ray gasped as (y/n) squeaked and hid her face in his chest, making his arms instinctively curl around her body to protect her.
"Geez, Henry!" Schwoz breathed out as the fiñata didn't break and the boy tucked it carefully under his arm again. 
"Be careful with that thing!" (y/n) whimpered against the red and blue material of Ray's tunic, her best friend running his hand up and down her back to calm her down.
"Guys, chill out, I'm not gonna drop it," Henry reassured them, not seeing why they were getting so worked up about everything.
"Do you have it?" Ray asked, just wanting to make sure he could manage.
"Yeah." Henry nodded, feeling like they were being a little too cautious. Didn't they trust him?
"Are you good?" (y/n) asked, also feeling a bit nervous at the thought of giving a load of death bees to a teenager to look after. 
"It's fine." He sighed, pressing the elevator button so he could just leave them to their worrying.
"Are you good?" Ray reiterated, not liking how his girl was still clutching him in fear. He wanted to ensure that Henry knew what he was doing.
"Ray...it's fine. Just...hug (y/n), she looks scared." The boy calmly told his boss and smirked when the large man gave him a grumpy look. It was like Henry wanted the woman to see that he was madly in love with her, what a dick.
"Okay." Ray let it go and returned to petting (y/n)'s hair, only Henry was a bit clumsy and on his way into the elevator, he nearly dropped the fiñata again, making the adults look at him with fear as he struggled to catch it before it hit the floor.
"AHHH, THEY'RE COMING TO GET US!" (y/n) screamed and jumped so her legs could wrap around Ray's waist like a koala, clinging to him tightly as she covered his ears. She didn't want to be left alone, so she'd sooner protect his brain than hers.
"See what you've done?" Ray deadpanned to Henry as he supported the girl he was now carrying. The boy just hit the button and the elevator door slid closed, leaving the man to reassure his girl into letting go, not that he was complaining about how she had chosen him to protect her.
"Come on, sweet girl, it's okay, there's no Zom-bees." He cooed at her and rested his hand on his cheek so he could touch the one covering his ears.
"I don't want them to eat your brain." She mumbled, pouting as his eyes met hers. She couldn't bear the thought of him getting hurt, he was her protector and provider, what would she do without him?
"I'm okay, sweet girl." He chuckled into her hair, pressing a kiss to the top of her head as she smiled bashfully into his neck. What would he do without her?
~In Junk-N-Stuff~
"And here's your receipt." Jasper smiled at a customer as he made another sale. 
"Thank you." The woman accepted it graciously and Jasper had to admit that so far, his first day working for Captain Man was going great. 
"And enjoy your vintage waterbed." He said to the customer, who was planning on using it for or...with her cats. Weird. 
"Uh, do you me to help you carry that to your car?" Jasper offered the woman, seeing that the waterbed was too large and heavy for one person to carry easily.
"Please." The woman agreed and they made small talk as they shifted the water-filled bag out of the shop. It probably would be easier to empty the bed before moving it, but no one thought about that.
"Hey, Jasper?...Yo, Jasp?"Henry yelled as he walked out of the elevator and looked around the front of the store for his friend. He had no idea that Jasper had stepped out to help the crazy cat-lady with her waterbed and he was about to make a massive mistake. Henry's whiz watch began to beep and he plonked the fiñata down on the counter.
"Hey, what's up?" He greeted Ray as he checked to see if any customers were coming.
"Schwoz, (y/n) and I are trying to pull Charlotte out of the auto-snacker and we need another pair of hands," Ray grumbled as he glanced at his friends who were still trying to get the girl out of the damn machine. Why it wouldn't spit her out was anyone's guess.
"Okay, I'll be down in a sec." Henry nodded and snapped the watch closed. There was never a dull moment with his job.
"You know I flaunt ya, 'cuz girl I really want ya. And you're looking nice, got me cooler than a bag of ice, now freeze, freeze, freeze." He mumbled to himself as he walked back to the elevator. Five Fingaz To The Face had been in his head all day and it seemed like it was in Jasper's too.
"Drop it fast and move it real slow, oh! What? You smell so fruity, I'm pirate and you're my booty, argh!" Jasper sang, shaking his butt as Piper and her friend came into the store. Well, this was embarrassing.
"Oh my god, are you rapping?" Piper cringed as she saw the older boy, who didn't see anything wrong with a little boogie in the workplace.
"Yeah." He confirmed, thinking his moves were pretty sweet.
"Well, don't." She snapped. God, it was so embarrassing to see her brother's dopey best friend dance and rap in front of her friend.
"Hey, I work here now, so you have to be nice to me," Jasper told the little girl, but she didn't care. She was only nice to a few select people and Jasper wasn't one of them.
"No, I'm here as the customer, so you have to be. nice to me...THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS RIGHT!" She yelled in Jasper's face when he tried to disagree and he quickly fell into line. No one wanted to be on the receiving end of Piper and her fury.
"Hey, we're gonna be late." Piper's friend said as she looked up from her phone for the first time since she walked into the store.
"Late for what?" Jasper asked as he took in their outfits. Both girls were dressed to the nines in some really cute clothes and he wondered where they were going.
"A birthday party for our friend. So help us pick out a present, would ya?" Piper instructed him, peering around the junk on the shelves. There had to be something in this crappy store that would suit her friend.
"Does she like dogs?" Jasper asked, having something in mind, even though it wasn't remotely apt for an eleven-year-old girl.
"Yeah." Piper's friend said and Jasper walked over to a freaky skeleton on display.
"This is a dog skeleton. Woof, woof, woof...we'll keep looking." The curly-haired boy quickly discarded the creepy thing when he saw Piper's displeased stare. Maybe not.
"Hey, is this a fiñata?" The other girl said, picking up the deadly thing that Henry should've put somewhere safer. Obviously, someone would think it was just another piece of junk on sale and Jasper was none the wiser to its true, dark nature.
"Oooh, cool, how much for the fiñata?" Piper asked Jasper, thinking that it would be the perfect addition to her friend's party. 
"Lemme check," Jasper said and started to roughly turn the fish around in his hands so he could look for the price tag. If he knew what was inside it, there was no way he'd be shaking it so much.
"We don't care if it's a boy or a girl." Piper sassed as she watched Jasper shuffle the fish around.
"I'm checking for a price tag! I don't see one anywhere." He said, scouring the paper-covered fish for anything that could tell him the asking price. Of course, he wouldn't find one, it should be locked up, not sold to a child.
"Good, it's free then, thanks." Piper snatched the fiñata from Jasper's hands and made a break for the exit before he could stop them.
"The customer is always right!" She yelled at him when he tried to call after them, silencing Jasper as his second sale of the day made off without paying. That fiñata was about to cause him a load more trouble too.
~The Man Cave~
"Pull!" Ray yelled to his three friends as they tightly clutched Charlotte's ankle and tried to yank her from the auto-snack. It just wouldn't let her go.
"She's still stuck! Let her go, you piece of shit!" (y/n) growled and thumbed the hatch with her fist as Charlotte screamed. No matter how hard they pulled, Schwoz's invention kept her prisoner and it sucked her deep into itself, leaving her friends stumped.
"Well, how are we gonna get her outta there?" Ray asked as they panted. Physical exertion was futile.
"Hey, how about this?" Henry suddenly had a bright idea and smacked his palm against the screen.
"Charlotte." He ordered like he was ordering some fries or a milkshake.
"Charlotte." The auto-snacker confirmed and the young girl came flying out the hatch before bellyflopping onto the floor. 
"It worked! Nice one, Hen." (y/n) high-fived Henry as they all celebrated their success. Well, that was easier than they had thought. 
"You okay?" Henry asked his friend as she stood up and dusted herself off. Man, that was an ordeal and she was still starving.
"No, I am not okay! And I still never got my scrambled eggs." She said, walking over to the machine and bending down to look through the window of the machine. This time, however, it seemed to understand her order and a load of hot, steaming scrambled eggs were fired at her face.
"You, uh, you got something..." Ray pointed to her cheek as bits of egg plopped onto the floor.
"That's why I order cereal. Eggs are just bad news." (y/n) quipped, thinking it was pretty funny to see Charlotte's unimpressed face covered in the mess. However, her giggling was soon interrupted when the computer started to beep.
"That's Jasper, upstairs." Henry recognised the special beeping and realised that it was the signal from Junk-N-Stuff.
"Oh god, I told him to press it when there was an emergency." (y/n) panicked, thinking that he was being held at gunpoint or the store was on fire or some other disaster. 
"Hey, Jasper, what's up?" Henry opened the link and saw his friend on the monitor.
"There's two guys here from animal control, asking about some Zom-bees?" He told Henry as Ray and (y/n) wandered over. Well, at least he was using the line correctly, it was better to ask and make sure he was doing the right thing than just assume.
"Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah." Henry nodded and remembered that he'd left the dangerous insects upstairs, unattended and with a boy who knew nothing about them.
"Yeah, yeah, Jasper, the Zom-bees are inside the purple fiñata," Ray told him, thinking that the matter would be swiftly dealt with, but things were about to get complicated.
"Oh, I sold the fiñata." He told them, making Henry and (y/n) choke on their own saliva as Ray took a minute to process his words.
"Great, then just give it to the guys--you sold the fiñata?!" Ray exclaimed in horror as Jasper remained oblivious to the cock-up he'd made.
"Yeah, and a waterbed." He smiled happily, thinking that his sales so far were good, even though one of them hadn't been paid for.
"Shit on it, wh-who'd you sell it to?" (y/n) asked frantically as she rested her hand on Ray's bicep and looked up at him in worry.
"Piper," Jasper replied, making Henry gasp. His sister? Seriously? Ray ended the call prematurely and peered at his friends with nervous eyes.
"Do you realise what'll happen if those Zom-bees get outta that fiñata?" He questioned the boy, who was seriously freaking out. He couldn't have his sister die from a bee eating her brain!
"Okay, okay, let's not panic about this. I'm sure that Piper just took it home and put it in her bedroom or something." (y/n) told the boy calmly as she theorised that Piper probably wanted it as a decoration. Little did she know that it was currently at a pre-teen's birthday party, being whacked viciously by a load of children looking for candy. They needed to get Jasper with them immediately.
~10 minutes later~
As soon as Jasper had closed up the store and stepped into the Man Cave Henry was all over him, interrogating him about the sale of a ticking time bomb to Piper. There was only a matter of time until the fiñata was smashed open and a load of people were killed.
"How could you give my little sister a fiñata full of death bugs?" The boy asked his friend sternly as Ray paced behind him, just as angry. (y/n) didn't think Jasper was to blame that much, he was just doing his job as they had told him. In the middle of all of this bickering, Charlotte had found a towel and was wiping the egg mush from her face as the argument went on and on.
"Oh, come on! It's not Jasper's fault!" The young woman defended the boy, wanting to be the one who was on his side since everyone else seemed so unfairly angry with him.
"I didn't know there were bugs in it!" Jasper stressed, glad that (y/n) was being so kind to him. He'd never endanger Piper deliberately, especially on his first day at work.
"Well, there are! There's at least fifty Zom-bees inside that fiñata!" Ray hissed, making the poor kid feel worse. He really didn't mean any harm. 
"Okay, yelling at Jasper isn't gonna help anything." Charlotte stepped in too, joining (y/n) in defending Jasper.
"Thank you." He said. He was starting to get the picture that they were the reasonable ones around these parts.
"Do you realise how dangerous those bees are?" Ray looked at the two teens as Henry walked around with his hands on his head. 
"Ya! They fly into your head, through your ears, and then they feed upon your brain!" Schwoz showed them the information on his PearPad and tried to sound all dramatic. He really knew how to stir the pot and make things worse.
"You should not have worn that tie," Charlotte mentioned to Jasper, as she noticed the hotdog pattern on it. Was (y/n) the only one who liked it?
"Okay, just...did my sister say where she was going anywhere?" Henry asked Jasper, who bit his lip as he recalled every word Piper had said to him. There was a lot of shouting from her, but also...
"Uh...yeah! Some friend of hers' birthday party." Jasper remembered and it triggered Henry's memory about something his sister had been banging on about for weeks.
"Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah! Uh...Gabby Birch." Henry said the name as Ray and (y/n) dashed over so they could hear everything.
"Who's Gabby Birch?" Ray asked, too panicky to put two and two together.
"Her friend, duh!" (y/n) said as she and Henry reached for their gum tubes. That's right, she had her own tube now, all hers, no one else's and it made her feel like one of the team.
"Come on, let's blow and go," Henry told Ray, who remained still. Why wasn't he snapping into action like them?
"No, are you insane?" He asked them halting their movements before they could pop a gumball.
"What? We need to go grab that death fish!" (y/n) pointed out, but Ray had a fairly good point for holding back.
"We can't just run in there as Captain Man, Kid Danger and Miss Danger and be like "Hey, kids! We're here at the party because we were worried that some killer bugs might fly into your heads and eat your brains, happy birthday, Gabby!"," Ray rambled and the sidekicks got the message. They certainly didn't want to freak out a load of children and their parents.
"All right, all right, then...we just gotta sneak in, grab the fiñata and get outta there fast." Henry theorised and the adults agreed. It seemed simple enough, right?
"Oh, come on!" Charlotte protested, seeing a million things wrong with what Henry had just said.
"What?" The boy looked at her, thinking that his plan was perfect.
"How are you guys gonna sneak into a birthday party without being seen?" She asked, making a good point. They could just walk in unannounced, they'd get arrested for trespassing or for being creeps.
"We will need a cunning disguise." (y/n) smirked and rubbed her hands, knowing exactly what would get them into the party. Every kid had them when it was their birthday and it was a sure-fire way to be let in, no questions asked. Hopefully.
~Gabby Birch's Birthday Party~
Well, the party was in full swing: there were balloons, food, cake, music, toys and, of course, the fiñata, which was still being sadistically beaten by numerous little girls. Henry, Ray and (y/n) sneaked in and winced when they saw the rough treatment of the cardboard fish. Their disguises weren't bad, (y/n) had cleverly chosen them to be clowns since they always came to kid's birthday parties, even though no child ever wanted one. Sure, they were creepy, but it gave them the perfect way in.
Both males were wearing alarmingly bright, wacky clothes, face paint and wigs that gave them the clown aesthetic and hid who they were. (y/n) looked equally ridiculous, but also kinda cute in a way and she was sure that as long as no one looked too close, they'd be able to grab the fiñata and get out of there.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
"Shit, Henry!" (y/n) gasped as nudged Henry as she saw the fiñata taking its beating and the boy quickly started shaking his boss's shoulder.
"Ray, Ray, Ray, Ray, Ray!" He panicked, gaining the man's attention fairly quickly as he pointed to the tree where the fish has been strung up.
"What? What?" Ray asked annoyedly, but he was soon gulping like his friends when he saw how the girls were minutes away from breaking the fiñata.
"They're whacking the fiñata!" (y/n) said as Ray gasped, making him put himself in front of her so he'd be the first to be eaten if the Zom-bees escaped. He didn't want his girl to munched on, even if she would be fine, especially since she looked so cute in her little dress. God, it fit her perfectly and he was more than happy to admire her figure.
"I don't get why this stupid fiñata won't break." A girl yelled and her friends began to hit it even harder. This wasn't going to end well.
"Here I found a shovel." Piper came in and was immediately encouraged to beat the fiñata with it. Okay, the superheroes had to act before these kids released the death bugs.
"Dear God, she's using a shovel." Ray cringed as he watched the fish bounce from the shovel to the fiñata sticks and each blow was painful to witness.
"We have to do something." (y/n) hissed in his ear, but before they could, a cheery woman with a drink in her hand addressed them.
"Hello!" She smiled, making the clowns panic. How were they supposed to lie to this mom about being the entertainment at her daughter's party?
"Uhhh...hey."
"Hi, how are you?" Ray and Henry greeted her politely as (y/n) just smiled and waved. This was gonna be fun.
"Oh, I'm Mrs Birch, the birthday girl's mom." The woman introduced herself and shook hands with each clown, all of whom were feeling pretty awkward. They had no idea how to clown around and entertain kids, they just needed to grab the damn fiñata.
"Nice to meet you." (y/n) smiled nervously, but thankfully, Mrs Birch didn't pick up on it.
"Okay, so, which one of you is Burples and which one of you is Schmutz?" She asked, making Henry and Ray both choose the one that sounded better.
"I'm Burples." They said together, not liking the idea of being called Schmutz, but then they both sounded weird.
"I'm Schmutz." They then said together, confusing Mrs Birch and making (y/n) facepalm. This wasn't a good first impression.
"You know, we swap."
"We trade-off." They excused their weirdness and luckily, Mrs Birch took it to be a funny clown joke. 
"You two really are clowns." She laughed, thinking it was a compliment and the annoyed look on the boys' faces made (y/n) giggle too.
"Yes, they are." She confirmed, loving how the woman had called out Ray and Henry's bumbling behaviour, but then, Mrs Birch stopped and thought about how she had one too many clowns in her garden.
"Sorry, I thought we paid for two clowns." She looked at (y/n) who took a moment to think of a believable lie.
"Uh...well, I'm on work experience. Yep, and I'm just gonna be observing these two...being clowns. Free of charge." She punched out nervously, making it up as she went along and the mom seemed to be fine with it, thank god.
"Oh, lovely, what's your clown name?" Mrs Birch asked and again, (y/n) had to think on her feet for something clownish.
"Uhhhh...Phalange. Yeah, I'm Phalange the Clown." She giggled, reverting to her favourite made-up name for every time she went undercover. It was an oldie, but a goodie and it was convincing enough.
"Well, I'll just leave the entertainment up to you guys, then." Mrs Birch smiled and Ray, (y/n) and Henry could let out a sigh of relief as the woman returned to the other parents.
"That'll be great, ma'am, thank you." Ray nodded at her politely as he tried to channel his inner clown. It should be too hard for him, after all, he was a pretty goofy guy.
"Yes, we are professional clowns." Henry tried to sound convincing like he really was a guy who painted his face and wore baggy pants to entertain kids.
"Ain't that the truth." (y/n) added, smirking at the boy as Ray pulled them to the side. They got up to so much mischief, they probably could pass as clowns sometimes.
"Dang it, they're gonna break that thing open any second!" Ray complained as he watch the kids still whacking the fiñata.
"And then snack time for all those Zom-bees and bye-bye brains for everyone here." The young woman freaked out too, looking to her best friend for any ideas.
"Uh, ooh, I got a plan, I got a plan," Henry told them and before he could discuss it with the adults, he stepped towards the children and started to work his inner clown.
"Hey, kids! Hey! Hey kids, over here!" He yelled at them in a funny voice, baffling Ray and (y/n) as the kids looked at the weirdo trying to get their attention.
"What are you doin'?" Ray asked the boy, thinking that he looked and sounded ridiculous, but it was fine. Henry had a plan.
"Shhhhh!" Henry shut him up and returned his focus to the bored expressions of the children. Yeah, no one likes clowns.
"What?" Piper asked, feeling just as annoyed as all her friends at the rude interruption. She was gonna break this fiñata open if it was the last thing she'd do. And if she did, it probably would be.
"You wanna know what's more fun than whackin' a fiñata?" Henry jumped up and down and acted like all the clowns he'd seen at the birthday parties he'd attended over the years.
"Tell us!" The kids demanded, hoping that his suggestion would be worth them stopping their attack.
"Whackin' Burples the Clown!" Henry pointed at Ray with a huge grin on his face as (y/n) and Ray shared a nervous look. Why did Ray have to be the one who got beat up? Just because he was indestructible, didn't mean it wouldn't hurt.
"No, no, no, no, no." Ray rejected the idea as the kids cheered. Whacking a real person seemed a lot more fun than whacking that stupid fish.
"You're indestructible!" Henry hissed to Ray, thinking that he was the best candidate for the job.
"So?" Ray looked at his sidekick in offence and then at his girl for help. She wasn't keen on the idea of seeing him getting beaten by a load of children, but they didn't have a better idea.
"So just take it or (y/n) will have to be the one who gets whacked!" Henry hissed in his ear and Ray swiftly sucked it up. Damn Henry, he knew his weakness; he'd never let his sweet girl take the pain when he was more than capable of doing so and the boy knew it. That's why he was busy dragging (y/n) off to the side as the kids ran over with their bats, sticks, shovels and planks of wood. Oh dear god, this would hurt.
"Ow, ow, ow!" Ray groaned at the first few hits came in and (y/n) whimpered at the sight of him being treated so cruelly. Why did these children have to love hurting people so much?
"(y/n), come on, he'll be fine," Henry promised the young woman and she knew he was right. Taking advantage of all the focus being on Ray as he tried to escape the kids' malice, the boy and woman sneaked through the garden and avoided the parent's gaze as they went for the fiñata.
Henry tried to snag it from the tree, but it was no use. Whoever had tied it on knew what they were doing and it would take more than a few tugs to set the fiñata free.
"You're gonna have to pull harder!" (y/n) hissed to the boy as he used all his weight to try and snap the string. Things were never easy; luckily, Ray was taking to blows like a champ and the parents were too busy nattering to realise what was going on. Seeing that he had an opportunity, Henry jumped onto the fish and used all his strength to climb up the string to the branch whilst (y/n) kept a lookout.
"Keep going, Burples!" She cheered on her best friend as he was hit by the hammers and bricks, but they soon had another problem on their hands. The garden gate swung open and two more clowns joined the party. Oh, shit, here came the real Burples and Schmutz.
"Hey, hey, who are those clowns?" Henry and (y/n) looked to see that they had company and gulped when the new clowns gave them some very dirty stares. 
"That clown ain't supposed to be here!"
"Yeah, we booked this job!" The real clowns snapped as the kids stopped whacking Ray, who was suddenly just as nervous as his sidekicks.
"Uh, look uh, there's a perfectly rational explanation---" Ray tried to keep things calm between himself and the men, but they were obviously very protective over their gigs.
"Why don't you shut up and get outta here!" A clown squared up to Ray, who wasn't the sort of guy to take that kind of attitude lying down.
"Keep trying to get that thing down!" (y/n) hissed to Henry, who nodded as she went to stand in between Ray and the angry clowns.
"Uh, are you guys threatening me?" Ray asked the men as his best friend came to his side, but he wasn't going to let her get hurt, not against these losers.
"Maybe..." The clown replied and jabbed Ray in the nose with a mean right hook, shocking (y/n) and Henry as they watched their friend take the hit. Oh, it was on.
"Ah!" Ray clutched his nose as he waited for the pain to fade, but (y/n)'s temper had flared and she wasn't going to let these two clown jerks hurt the man she loved.
"Okay, Burples, is that how you wanna play?!" She hissed at the man, her eyes burning with fury as she stepped up to the plate. She was taunting them, daring them to make a move and then, she'd give them what for.
"Go back to the gutter, bitch. It's where you belong." The other man growled at her, not realising that he could insult or hit Ray all he liked, but insulting (y/n) made the superhero furious. She didn't deserve to be spoken to so rudely, not be some two-bit clown in a crappy costume and Ray wasn't going to let them get away with it.
"Oh, that's it! You don't talk about her like that! You're going down, clown!" Ray growled at them as he stepped in front of his girl, ready to defend her honour. It enraged the man to see her be mistreated and the protective streak in his DNA told him to keep her safe at all costs from the morons and their harsh words.
"Come on!" The clowns put up their fists, preparing to swing again, but they didn't realise that they had just picked a battle with Captain Man and insulted the woman he loved. They were playing with fire.
"Clown fight! Clown fight! Clown fight! Clown fight! Clown fight!" The kids and parents began to chant with Piper being to ringleader as Ray circled the two men and Henry tried his hardest to get the fiñata to budge.
He jumped up and down on it and finally, it gave way, but Henry couldn't control his landing and he accidentally squished the fish as he fell on the ground. He and (y/n) watched in horror as the death bugs began to fly out of the fiñata, searching for their targets.
"The Zom-bees!" Ray shrieked as he saw the insects spread out and his hands flew to his head to protect his brain.
"Everyone! Cover your ears!" (y/n) screamed to the kids as she got in front of them, hoping that the bees would pick her brain to eat on and not theirs. However, it seemed that they were particularly focused on the two asshole clowns, who had covered their ears too late and were screeching in pain.
"It's hurting my brain!" They screamed as Ray opened the gate for them to run out and they took the Zom-bees with them. Well, that was that dilemma solved. Wherever the bees would go, it wasn't their problem anymore. All they had to worry about was how to explain what had just happened to the terrified kids and their parents.
"Uhhhh...Happy birthday, Gabby!" (y/n) nudged the boys for them to join her and they all smiled as brightly as they could at the little girl. Now, they just needed to get out of the garden before...
"Whoa, clowns? Mister and Missus Clowns?" Mrs Birch stopped them before they could open the gate and the three looked at her sheepishly, hoping she wasn't gonna call the cops on them.
"Yeah, what's up?" Ray and Henry asked politely, hoping that whatever she wanted wouldn't take too long.
"You're supposed to stay and entertain the children until five o'clock. That's, uh...two more hours." She smiled at them as she checked her watch. Two hours, ew, no thank you.
"Oh, uhhhhh." Ray stumbled and looked to (y/n) for an excuse. She was normally good at making things up.
"Oh, well, ma'am, the thing is, you see---" The young woman rambled, wracking her brain for an excuse, but she was cut off when Piper ran over to them with something to say.
"Hey! Gabby wants you clowns to make some stuff with balloons." She told them and Mrs Birch smiled at the idea. That would give them something to do.
"But we gotta go..." Ray shuddered at the murderous glare that Piper was giving him and his excuse dried up in his mouth.
"So do it." She hissed. Looks like they had no choice.
~
Well, this sucked. Making balloon animals was a lot harder than it looked in the movies or on TV and Henry was struggling to come up with something good. At least Ray and (y/n) had an idea of what to do.
"Look, kids, aeroplane." Ray presented his balloon creation with a bored voice and twirled the propeller to make them clap. To be fair, it was quite impressive that he was able to make one.
"Look, kids, a dog." (y/n) showed them her much simpler design and then passed it to a girl at the front as she rubbed her sore hands together. The balloons had snapped and rubbed them as she twisted the latex into something resembling an animal, but at least they were soon healing over. The perks of being a superhero.
"How people do this for a living is beyond me." She grumbled quietly to Ray as they waited for Henry to finish his masterpiece. Ray saw her discomfort and took a hand into his so he could try and massage away the pain. They'd get better on their own instantly, but he wanted an excuse to hold her hand and she was happy to let him go for it.
"Uh, look I made an X." Henry smiled nervously at the children and held his untied balloons together. He was useless at balloon-art and unfortunately, this was the best he could do.
"Um, excuse me, ma'am. How much more of this do we have to do?" (y/n) asked the woman as Henry was just too painful to watch. Hopefully, they had killed a bit of time making their works. 
"An hour and fifty-five minutes." Maybe not. They still had ages left and barely any energy.
"Oh, god." Ray groaned and Henry handed him his balloons. It was mundane and agitating for the couple, who knew that they had much better things to do with their time than mess about for children, but it was okay.
Much better things were about to come their way.
2 notes · View notes
kaykay-13 · 2 years
Note
(headcanon) xingqiu has a thing for that black top yunyun wears under his hoodie (also his arms as well. yeah) and tbh i do too like stronk chongyun?!?!? yes please going to hell for my straight sins but HES SO FUCKING PRETTY. cries
i dont even like muscly men... i have a pref for women (think raiden and eula,,, yeah that kind of woman,,, drools)
this was supposed to be a xingqiu hc post but turned into chongus simp post
sends
chongyun simp post…… squints
well we can’t help but wax poetic about this blue boy. it’s the xingqiu kinnie in you speaking.
8 notes · View notes
lickingyellowpaint · 1 year
Text
Tumblr media
Turns out I WAS just that bored. Did you know Asks have a character limit for replies? I didn’t. Anyway. Here, nonny:
1. What were your summers like as a kid?   
Playing in the backyard with my brother - we had tire swings, if not much else. Did some day camp but don't remember much. Vacations were to family in near neighboring states, not very exciting, but cool for a city kid to get out to the country every so often. Lots of multiplayer computer games on the home network. Cats. Books. Playing Star Wars with neighbor friends with lightsabers for sticks. Rollerblading and biking around the neighborhood until the streetlamps came on. Writing little songs and stories.
2. Do you enjoy thrilling rides like rollercoasters?
Not particularly.
3. Who was your childhood hero?   
Mulder and Scully.
4. What is your favorite book?   
The Picture of Dorian Gray, forever and always.
5. What do you find most attractive about your crush?   
Don't really have any new/exciting crush of any kind.
6. What’s your favorite outfit?   
I really do love that jumpsuit I got with the open sides. It's just cool, despite its tweed-ness.
7. Does seeing people in love make you happy? Sad? Annoyed?
None of the above? What people? What context? None of my business, usually, but always happy for friends when they find someone who makes them happy.
8. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?   
One of my real animal curls up with me every night and purrs up a storm in my arms, and I wouldn't dream of letting Pusheen take her spot.
9. What CD did you play to death as a kid?   
Alanis' Jagged Little Pill got a weird amount of play. I was young when it came out, didn't even understand half of it, but liked singing along while doing dishes.
10. Hike to a mountain top to watch the sunrise or drive out of town to stargaze?
The hike/sunrise.
11. What song has the most relatable song lyrics to you?   
I love music and lean on it hard and always have, so too many to list.
12. Iced drinks or hot drinks?   
Hot. Even in summer. Iced coffee is an abomination to me.
13. Bright colors or neutral tones?   
I guess I'll go with bright but it really depends on for what.
14. Breakfast for dinner or pizza for breakfast?   
Breakfast pizza usually means there was dinner pizza, so the answer's kinda both? I usually don't eat until after 2 PM, though, so I doubt that still counts as breakfast.
15. Do you have a green thumb or a black thumb?
Black. Unfortunately. My last plant died last month and I'm likely never bothering again.
16. What’s your favorite feature of yours?   
My arms. Even at my laziest, I've always had a little tone thanks to bass.
17. Would you rather be a lawyer or a doctor?   
Lawyer, I guess. Can't imagine having to deal with calling insurance companies all the time.
18. What type do you tend to go for physically?   
Men, lean with some definition but not too muscly. Women, I've found myself temporarily dazzled by all types.
19. Power of invisibility or flight?   
Invisibility.
20. Would you rather wake up with your makeup magically done or your hair?
Hair. It's impossible to even brush properly half the time. This would be a welcome blessing.
21. What’s the stupidest fight you’ve ever gotten into?   
Not sure. I'm pretty confrontation-avoidant, so fights aren't something that happen often.
22. What’s the weirdest thing you’ve seen someone do in public?   
I've seen all sorts of things but there's a big difference between Witnessed At Pride/Market Days weird, Boomers Partying In The French Quarter weird, Homeless weird... hell, sometimes I'M the Weird Thing In Public.
23. What’s your dream date?   
Not so much dream and not so much date - my usual old preference was one-nighters with tourists I'd never have to see again. So, yeah, I don't think I have one of these...
24. Do you tend to gravitate more toward using logic or intuition to make decisions?
Logic for work, intuition for personal.
25. Do you like parties?   
Pre-COVID, yes. Maybe someday again if that's magically not an issue anymore.  
26. Did you enjoy high school?   
Kind of! I enjoyed research and writing papers, enjoyed being on the school paper staff and the interviewing opportunities it gave me at the time, enjoyed my bizarre little social circle, and all the ill-advised dalliances. Didn't much groove with my fellow IB kids, though.
27. Who is the craziest person in your family and why?   
It may have once been my dad, but I'm afraid I've adopted the mantle.
28. What’s your favorite holiday tradition?   
Halloween parade.
29. Can you describe your laugh?   
Sometimes I'm wheezy but I blame the smoking.
30. Instagram or Twitter?    
Twitter - if there's breaking news, I'll venture there for locals' insights. Instagram, you'd have to pay me to give a shit about.
31. What’s a show that everyone loves that you didn’t?   
I tried Dexter back in the day. Didn't make it far but can't remember why, just got bored. Most shows I haven't even bothered to try.
32. What song is stuck in your head?   
Light My Candle from RENT, all damn day. I saw a RENT poster on the bus this morning and it won't go away.
33. Do you like exercising?   
Yes, but I never have the time/privacy anymore to keep to my old routine. Bums me out. Could go to a gym but that's money and even less privacy. But YES I LIKE IT AND I MISS IT VERY MUCH.
34. Do you scare easily?   
From horror movies? No. From average everyday occurrences that trigger my CPTSD? Damn near daily.
35. Who are your top 5 celebrity crushes?   
I've decided to allow myself ONE skip in this survey and I'll use it here
36. If you could learn one language fluently what would it be?   
Probably the language most common amongst my job's regulars, so I could better communicate at work and thus better help people.
37. Would you fly to the moon if given the opportunity?   
Doubtful - likely too scared of what could go wrong.
38. What’s your favorite flower?   
Sunflowers are slightly special to me.
39. What non-sexual touch affects you the most?
Used to like having my hair petted but very rarely.
40. Do you enjoy cuddling?    
I can't truly relax, never know where to put my limbs, overheat way too quickly, and always feel like the other person must expect something from even my expression, that it should appear happy because of the cuddling. So, my face muscles start getting jerky and weird and deep down I hate it. It all makes me tense, too warm, and unsure of myself in every respect.
41. Do you like valentine’s day?   
I don't celebrate it but I don't outright despise it either. The real holiday is, of course, the next day when the candy goes on sale.
42. Do you enjoy driving and are you a good driver?
Never driven in my life and hope to never have to.
43. What would you be most likely to become famous for?   
Damned if I know. I used to think I might want it through writing, but fame seems exhausting, and my last good book idea, I tossed because someone else wrote the exact thing before I did. Soooooooooo, probably something really weird and un-sober. Like, Local Eats Too Many Edibles And Attempts To Leave Zoo With Meerkats In Pockets.
44. Do you have a favorite quote?
It's a Stephen Crane poem, but:   
I saw a man pursuing the horizon; Round and round they sped. I was disturbed at this;    I accosted the man. “It is futile,” I said, “You can never —” “You lie,” he cried,    And ran on.
45. Are you a romantic?   
lmao no
46. Do you have any tattoos or want to get one?
I have so many. One more in mind but the finances won't allow.
47. Biggest pet peeve?   
Currently? Every asshat who thinks personal calls on speakerphone, or watching videos without headphones, in a shared public space is an okay thing to do. Apparently there's a huge section of the population that was never taught how to behave politely. And so many of them come into my job, jesus shitting christ.
48. Favorite personality trait about yourself?   
Resourcefulness.
49. Sum up your type in three words.   
Creative. Charismatic. Frugal.
50. Do you listen to Kpop and if so who is your bias and why?
Nope.
51. What’s the longest you’ve ever stayed awake?
It was either 41 or 42 hours. Hallucinations happened at the end there. Not a fun time.
52. Hot or cold weather?
COLD. Anything above 75 or so can go back to hell from whence it came.
53. Bouquet of flowers or box of chocolates?   
Chocolates always.
54. Can you do any good impressions?   
I'm a great mimic with a wide vocal range but I don't use it as a party trick or anything, just for my own entertainment and acting practice.
55. What’s the best prank you’ve been witness to?
No idea. I pulled a good one on an old roomie but it's too long a story to bother with.
56. Favorite dessert?   
Might be baklava.
57. Is there a vine or tik tok you quote often?   
Yes but its audio was yoinked and used elsewhere, so I couldn't possibly say where it actually originated from.
58. What tumblr post always makes you laugh?
the salvador deli lmao
59. What country that you haven’t been to do you want to visit most?   
Most would require flying, so, none.
60. Can you cook and do you enjoy it?   
I'm a pretty decent cook and do enjoy it, but 99% of the time I'm gonna save effort, time, money and my weird digestive system by just munching on a sandwich instead. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
61. What’s your guilty pleasure movie?   
I'm trying to think if I love any movies that are so bad, they'd have to be guilty pleasures rather than regular ones. Maybe Roger Daltrey's version of The Beggar's Opera. I've got to be one of the few weirdos on the planet that enjoys that on a regular basis, right?
62. What’s your comfort movie?   
Fantasia.
63. Is there a genre of music you don’t like?   
Metal.
64. What’s an album that you think has no skips on it?   
The Who's Quadrophenia, I answer for the sixty bajillionth time because my answer will never change.
65. What’s your favorite thing to watch on youtube?
Obscure movies from between 1920-1990.
66. Would you make the first move to ask someone out?   
Not something I have to worry about but yeah, that's one area I do have actual social confidence in.
67. Do you often dream or have nightmares that you remember when you wake up?   
Pretty often, yeah.
68. What are you craving right now?   
Well, now that I mentioned it, baklava. -.-
69. What turns you on? Plenty of things. But I’m not about to list them on the designated horny freaks website, c’mon now.
70. What’s something you haven’t done that you think most people have?   
Driven a vehicle.
71. What genre is your favorite playlist right now and what’s it called?
I'm back to using YT more often than Spotify, and I don't even log into YT, so no playlists.
72. Are you a sad or happy drunk? Chill or energetic drunk?
Depends on the mood I was in when I started drinking. Tends to amplify it, whatever it may be.
73. What time of day do you like best?
Night.
74. Do you tend to enjoy being babied or do you prefer to be the one taking care of someone else?
I'll do or accept what I have to in emergencies, but neither? Handle your own shit day-to-day and let others do the same for the most part, is how I see it.
75. What top three cities do you want to travel to?
I'm gonna double the answer here, because I'd love to see Aspen, LA and San Fran again, but for places I HAVEN'T been to: Nashville, DC, and Savannah. (This list could def be less America-centric, but the plane thing...)
76. What’s your favorite feature about your best friend?
The fact he's pulled himself out of terrible health situations and is all the better for it - he's stronger than he thinks!
77. Do you have any pets? What are their names?
Three cats and, unfortunately, now a mere two fishies. The other recent tank additions didn't last long. :( But one of the originals is still kicking and seems to like his new friend.
78.  Back scratches or having your hair played with?
Used to be hair, but nowadays I just prefer not to be touched altogether. Hugs are okay, but that's it.
79. Do you like surprises?
I mean.... it really fucking depends what kind, doesn't it?
80. What’s your favorite picture of yourself?
Idk.
81. What books influenced you most as a child?
A whole bunch of ghost, paranormal, UFO and conspiracy books. I was THAT kid lol
82. Do you like kids?
I can pretend to like them for the brief period I am around them - no harm/no foul in that, so long as you act genuine enough: happy eyes, happy tones, engagement, listening, saying encouraging things. It's their feelings about the interaction that matter, not mine. But do I like them? No. They're usually stickier and louder than I can deal with.
83. What’s your favorite piece of jewelry? (or other accessory if you don’t wear any)
I switch fave necklaces every few years. I'll rock a piece daily for months on end, then suddenly change it up and wear the new one for months. I have a chunky silver bracelet I like a whole lot but I really don't remember to put jewelry on much unless I'm having A Very Aesthetic Day.
84. Any wild stories passed around in your family?
A great-aunt was somewhat close with John Dillinger, but I don't know any specific wild stories about that. Dad managed bands in the 80s and I don't think I was allowed to know the best stories there, though his friend told me one about them ripping through an obscene amount of blow in one weekend. Parents used to see Dahmer in the neighborhood sometimes because of the bathhouse down the block, and Gacy at least once. Most other wild family stories are my fault, and I'm not around for what are probably the cautionary tale retellings.
85. Do you consider yourself an independent person?
Yessssssss.
86. What are you most comfortable sleeping in?
Whatever I happened to spend the day in.
87.   What was your childhood dream?
And again, 'Dana Scully' is more or less the answer.
88. What’s your fictional OTP?   
I've had a few, which immediately invalidates the O in OTP - changes about once a decade, though.
89. What’s one thing you want to achieve this year?
HA, joke's on you, year's almost up, I don't have to achieve shit. Take THAT, survey.
90. What has been your favorite book you’ve read in the last 5 years?
Torn between Breakfast at Tiffany's, because such a refreshingly less cheesy ending than the movie, and Catcher in the Rye.
91. What was the first movie to make you cry?
I assume Wizard of Oz? I distinctly remember being distraught that it was over and making my mom put it on all over again from the start.
92. What book world would you live in if given the opportunity?
Not sure. Maybe LOTR, for the peace of the Shire and the chance to possibly encounter Aragorn's fine ass.
93. What’s your craziest work related story?
That a former employer became a murder victim whose case went famous, probably. I've also got some crazy tales from the skip-tracing stint, but I may be saving those up for a future memoir.
94. What’s the best job you’ve had so far?
My current one. Best pay + best boss + less demanding work than past jobs = bliss.
95. Worst tinder or date experience?
......see, I'm really wracking my brain here, and idk. Instant clinginess has put me off quickly in the past, though.
96. What’s the first thing you think of when you wake up most mornings?
Coffeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.......
97. Are you more of a planner or a spontaneous adventurer?
Spontaneous. Plans, I usually make and then have zero energy for, day of. But hit me up on the day of a Thing, whether that be a concert or a three-day ride-along out of state in a trucker friend's cab, and I might well be down so long as work sched allows.
98. Do you think you see yourself the way other people see you?
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Doubtful.
99. What’s the last show you binged?
Watched four episodes of Wings today just because it was on and I loved that show as a kid. It holds up so well. (Lowell is such a himbo, god bless him.) But does four episodes count, or has the definition of 'binge' been irrevocably changed by the Netflix era?
100. What’s one of your fondest memories?
Every single New Orleans trip had its own unique magic - there's a balcony on Burgundy I'd love to be standing on again, simply taking in the night air and reminiscing.
1 note · View note
sagevalleymusings · 2 years
Text
Thor: Love and Thunder - Praising with Faint Damnation
I have this really bad habit. I like consuming all of a thing. I’ll eat the whole bag of potato chips, cheat to get all 151 pokemon, and if I start a movie, I have to finish it, even if I hate it. I’ve watched a lot of bad movies this way. I absolutely regret turning Artemis Fowl back on after I got eight minutes in and realized it was trash.
Marvel movies bank on this kind of collectible habit. They’re fan films for people who are already fans of a longstanding genre. They can reliably assume that anyone who’s watched three of their movies is planning on watching all of them. I think a lot of Phase Four’s steam is relying on this momentum. Black Widow was forgetful. Spider-Man: No Way Home was a desperate nostalgic plea. Doctor Strange had poor CGI and a frustrating plot. I personally liked Shang Chi but it received critical reception. The shows have not been bad. Or at least… some of the shows some of the time have not been bad. I don’t think I’ll be able to re-watch Wanda knowing how Doctor Strange: Multiverse of Madness plays out. It makes the redemption arc of WandaVision meaningless. I’m struggling to get through Moon Knight. Falcon and the Winter Soldier felt very queer bait-y. 
My point is that I think Marvel fans are becoming divided rapidly. I’m not the only person who’s growing increasingly critical of Marvel. I say all this to justify my feeling that Thor: Love and Thunder is not as bad as the critics are painting it. 
I am happy to be critical of Marvel movies. I have definitely succumbed to burnout with these movies. But Thor: Love and Thunder is ranking below Dark World right now and that’s just undeserved. In fact, I would say that Love and Thunder is even a pretty decent movie - except for the part where it takes place in Phase 4 of the Marvel Extended Cinematic Extravaganza. 
I want to end on a high note so let’s start with the things I didn’t like. Others have already said that it’s disappointing. Everyone loved Thor: Ragnarok so Waititi made it Thor: Even More Ragnarok. It’s too much with the gimmicky jokes and one-line gags. The comedy parts of the movie don’t give the serious parts enough breathing room.
I’ve also heard that the movie itself is ultimately meaningless, because it takes back all of the weighty deaths by the end of the movie. Everyone lives, just this once. But that means that the movie simply doesn’t have the weight that it should.
I agree, but I think a compelling rebuttal can be made for both these points.
I have a couple of critiques myself outside of this. Firstly, and no one is going to like me for saying this…
Taika Waititi likes to laugh at fat people.
Depending on which small corner of the internet you tend to run in, you may have even seen this coming. Everyone in fat activism was worried that Waititi was going to montage away the fat suit, and, yes that did happen, but I could be talked around on this point. I think Waititi almost, but not quite, manages to turn that montage into a character flaw. After defeating Thanos, Thor becomes obsessed with fitness to the point of detriment for a normal person. He spends all his days doing nothing but exercising and meditating and waiting for people to ask him to come save the day. That’s not healthy, and I think the movie is trying to fold that kind of unhealthy behavior in its “love saves the day message” - Thor becomes a dad by the end of the movie. But the fact that so much of this movie is given so little weight means that the message doesn’t quite land.
For example, I’ve read interviews now of Hemsworth and his wife, who said that the amount of bulking up he needed to do was painful, and neither one of them was happy with the new look. It isn’t natural. He’s even more muscly than he was in the previous movies. I look back at footage of Thor in Love and Thunder and he’s so jacked it looks painful to move. I’m just sad.
But then there’s a scene where he gets his clothes ripped off and all the women faint in glee. Thor’s body is as unhealthy as it was when he was eating junk food and drinking - yes, really. Overexercising can cause a whole host of symptoms including straining your heart. But where fat Thor was shown with comedy and disgust, buff Thor is shown with lust and praise. If Waititi was trying to make a point about unhealthy coping mechanisms, it fell flat.
The thing I take umbrage with more is the fact that Melissa McCarthy cameos in this movie at all. She’s literally only there - shoved into an unflattering cosplay - so we can go haha fat people. This is not the first time a production of Waititi’s has had a haha fat people moment. In fact, I would argue that Thor: Ragnarok had the exact same haha fat people moment. I can’t help but notice that Matt Damon looks quite a bit more trim in his reprisal as Actor Loki.
I don’t like having to put up with Waititi’s haha fat people moments. It’s really boring. But much like any of his haha fat people moment’s, it’s also just the one scene, and then we can move on. So let’s move on. I’m suddenly realizing that Waititi has a bigger problem.
Women.
There are only two named female characters in Thor: Ragnarok - Valkyrie and Hela. Valkyrie is playing a useless drunk, which is at least a new and different way of making women useless on screen, and Hela is a villain. Come to think of it, a lot of Waititi’s productions have very few women, and the women that are there serve a narrative role for the men starring in the production. I suppose I don’t necessarily expect a lot of women in a show about pirates, but I do think it’s extremely telling that the majority of  women in Our Flag Means Death for almost the whole series can be described most easily by their relation to other people. Jim’s foster mother, Stede’s wife, Ed’s mother. Spanish Jackie is a notable exception but Spanish Jackie is in less than half the show.
It is by no means everything. JoJo Rabbit had strong and assertive female protagonists. Reservation Dogs has a great ensemble including girls.
The thing is, Love and Thunder’s portrayal of women is so bad that it had me reflecting on Waititi’s other work. The narrative revolves primarily around men, and there are women in their lives, but they play supporting characters. This is also true of… probably 90% of male directors 90% of the time. So I wouldn’t necessarily critique Waititi for this. After all, if you have one main character, probably most of your cast can, ultimately, be described in terms of how they relate to that main character. I could just as easily describe Thor: Ragnarok as Thor fighting Thor’s sister over control of Thor’s people, and fighting alongside Thor is Thor’s brother, Thor’s co-worker, some random lady who used to work for Thor’s dad, and a rock monster. 
So women having some kind of relation to the other characters in the narrative isn’t actually an issue… until it’s their only character trait.
And that brings us to Love and Thunder. Love and Thunder has some of the most obvious fridging I’ve ever seen in a modern movie. It’s so bad it has me questioning the female representation in Waititi’s other productions. I know they got Jane having cancer from the comics but… why is Valkyrie even there? She spends the whole movie looking uncharacteristically sad and tired except for when she’s fighting, and literally says that the reason she’s fighting is because she wants to die. That’s depressing as hell. 
And at the lowest point of the movie, Gorr is literally hiding and revealing these two women in an effort to get Thor to reveal the macguffin. They’re literally being used as silent props to motivate Thor into action. 
And after that, Thor tells the womenfolk to stay behind and look after the house while he goes off to be the breadwinner.
And of course people are crying - yeah but Valkyrie is injured! Which, sure, is true. But the film is the one that made that choice. And they didn’t do a good enough job dwelling on the fact that Valkyrie got injured because she’s fighting recklessly in an effort to die in battle to really give that scene the weight it needed. 
This movie could have made different choices that didn’t make it seem so much like fridging. It could have given us more time with Jane and Valkyrie, explored their characters in a way that let us actually see who they are. Instead we got Korg telling us what Valkyrie’s motivation is. 
My last minor point that no one seems to mention is the casting of Love. I am a little uncomfortable that all three of Hemsworth’s children are cast in this movie. In fact, Hemsworth’s wife and brother are also in Thor: Love and Thunder. In some ways I get it. You need a bunch of kids for the child kidnapping scene, your children are there anyway, you cast your children. Bale, Portman, and Waititi all volunteered their children for the movie. But there’s something a little unnerving, I find, when actors cast their children in roles where the role is also them playing their child. For starters the child didn’t choose this, and depending on the age it might be difficult to keep those lines separate between fantasy and real life. 
Love is especially egregious because it’s a big role, but there is something a little off about having your kids be the kids in the movie. Is it better than parents of poor families essentially auctioning their children off to become breadwinners? Probably. But I think it remains to be seen what kind of an impact being the child of a Marvel-level superstar will do to a kid. There’s probably no ethical way to have children in a movie, ultimately.. 
I could spend a lot longer on why I thought the movie was weak, but most reviews I’ve read are pretty critical, so I’d like to say some positive things to balance it out.
As Thor’s story, this is pretty weak, but as Gorr’s story, there’s a fairly strong narrative arc there. Gorr hits a serious low point very on, so much so that he becomes a villain. He learns through the Necrosword’s magic that in order to reach Eternity, he needs some kind of weapon that can harness a bifrost and right now there’s only one of those - Thor’s axe Stormbreaker. So he devises a plan to obtain Thor’s axe but quickly becomes outnumbered and changes tactics. He decided to capture a bunch of children to lead Thor to him rather than try and overpower him from the start. 
For Gorr’s character, this is a mistake, because it allows him a moment of weakness. He doesn’t feel good about capturing these kids because they remind him of his daughter, who his mind has crystalized on. And of course it has, that was an incredibly tragic moment. Gorr is entirely justified in his actions at the start of the movie. His entire population was destroyed, and as he was praying in desperation to  Rapu who was completely oblivious to his pleas. His daughter dies. He stumbles upon Rapu’s domain - called there by All-Black - and gets into a confrontation where Rapu, in a fit of rage, is about to kill him.
Gorr reaches out to All-Black the Necrosword in desperation, in a bid just to survive. He kills a complacent, greedy, loathsome god who let an entire people be destroyed. In a different movie, Gorr would be a hero. 
But that’s not the movie we have, and in this movie, there may be a glimmer of longing for the daughter he lost enough that Gorr isn’t entirely unsympathetic, but he’s still unambiguously the villain for most of the movie, and the screen portrays it as such.
His uncharacteristically sympathetic nature isn’t the only thing at odds. Thor: Love and Thunder is a comedy but Gorr is perhaps the most frightening villain we’ve had in the MCU. And that’s saying something, considering Phase 4 seems to be ramping up the supernatural creepy factor with Scarlet Witch and Moon Knight. Those creepy shadow hands coming into bedrooms to steal children could easily be dropped into a much more serious horror movie without blinking an eye.
It’s almost discordant with the rest of the movie, a fun romantic comedy romp, and I can see a version of this that’s more effective where that discordance is the point.
After all, Gorr isn’t the villain. The Necrosword is. Gorr is just a sad dad lashing out in pain, who only took up the sword in question - which is stated to have brainwashing powers - because his life was in danger. Gorr is a victim.
And we see that in the end, because the MCU finally - finally! - has a sympathetic character that’s redeemed in the end. He still dies, but he’s allowed to win. Thor stops fighting. You win. Make your wish. Gorr is so close to the finish line that Thor literally can’t stop him now - rushing him would just have Gorr reaching out to his wish in desperation. Instead, he tries to talk him around, reminds the recently freed Gorr that killing the gods was never his wish in the first place. His wish - which once had been denied - was for his daughter to live.
And so we see the parallel here. Gorr got what he wanted right at the very beginning, but the path it took to get there had him going through the worst of himself to get there, and he didn’t come out of the other end unscathed.
That’s a compelling story. Much more compelling than anything else Thor: Love and Thunder has going on. I wish it were in a better movie.
What I would have done differently to improve this movie:
There’s one thing I think would have fixed a ton of the tone issues and mischaracterizations that would have made this the fun romp people wanted after Thor: Ragnarok.
Make it bad on purpose.
I know I’m losing the precious little audience I have left (hi one person!) so hear me out. Thor: Love and Thunder starts off with Korg giving a kind of poor description of previous events, catching us up to speed on what has happened both in previous movies we may not have seen, and in between movies. His voice as the narrator pops up only a couple of times. 
I’m not saying it should necessarily pop up a lot more, but a couple of fourth-wall breaking, especially in particularly tense scenes, would have lightened the tone in a way that didn’t make it feel as flippant. 
For example: Gorr shows up to harass the kids, and the kids are scared but it’s told in such a goofy way that we kind of have to take the villain a little less seriously. And also there’s, just towards the very end, almost a glimmer of pity. Because he’s obviously thinking of his daughter. And he’s sad about that, and I get that. 
But like. This guy captured a wagon full of kids and is now deliberately scaring them. This guy sucks. 
But let’s imagine that instead, right before Gorr shows up in the wagon to torture those kids, we hear Korg’s voice say something stupid like, “Gorr’s just trying his best. Here he is trying to make sure his hostages are at least comfortable.” and *then* the whole scene plays out exactly the same.
It would give the scene a completely different tone. It would be so much more relatable. All of a sudden this guy isn’t trying to scare those kids - he’s being sincere, trying to engage with them on their level. He’s just now incapable of doing it because he’s been corrupted. That’s sad. Like, really sad. It makes me sympathize with a character who has done horrible thing.
A couple of scenes like that thrown in to demonstrate an unreliable narrator would soften the bad parts of the movie, because I, the viewer, could assume that when things like fridging Jane and Valkyrie happen, that’s just Korg telling his version of events to make Thor seem extra cool, but that doesn’t mean that’s what happened. 
We even see an example of this in the movie we got! When Korg is montaging Thor and Jane’s previous relationship, we see Jane waiting for Thor to leave in the middle of the night while she pretends to be asleep, then leaving a note, and then leaving. 
But when we catch back up with Jane later, she says that the reason she left a note was because Thor wasn’t there.
The way that Jane says it implies that Thor had been gone for a while. Which is of course not what we see. Is Jane lying? Or is this simply the only obvious example that the entire movie is told from a biased perspective on purpose?
A much more subtle scene is shortly after this, when Jane asks if Thor has a girlfriend. It’s said in a way that feels very out of place. Why is Jane suddenly wearing that helmet and flipping her hair like she’s a schoolgirl? This feels like an immature man’s version of how they would want this conversation to go, not like a sincere portrayal of how a director thinks this conversation would actually go. And I know that Waititi is better than that in some of his other works. So is this really a flaw of his writing, that his female characters are this much of a caricature? Or is this supposed to read as a bit artificial, because it’s a story being told by Korg?
If I’m being honest it’s probably more of the former than it is the latter, but if choices had been made to lean into the latter, it would have improved the movie overall. Making the movie bad on purpose would make the movie less bad.
And, too, I think it would have been the only thing that could have saved it from Sequel Syndrome. 
The main flaw of Thor: Love and Thunder is that it’s the fourth Thor movie and the 29th Marvel movie. None of the Marvel movies post Endgame have been good. How could they be? Endgame was a conclusion so epic it needed an entire movie to set it up. Frankly, I think Infinity War is the far superior of the two. I saw that movie opening night and the energy when characters started dying left and right and then the movie just ends was absolutely palpable. No one was expecting Marvel to pull something like that. And for a brief moment, because nothing like this has ever been done, you think that maybe, just maybe, Marvel was really going to kill off half their cast. And ultimately they didn’t because the entire plot of Endgame was reversing the consequences of Infinity War in a way that was emotionally satisfying. I think they did a pretty good job of it. But there were some loose threads that, in the messy process of Phase Four’s journey to tie those threads up, has been pretty unsatisfying. It would have been better to start fresh with a mostly new cast - to skip the growing pains of Phase Four entirely. 
The entire point of Phase Four is to move the game pieces from where they ended in Endgame to where they’ll begin in Kang the Conqueror. We’ve already seen Kang, we know this is where they end up. But there’s a big difference between the movies now and the movies then.
Phase One and Two movies were standalones. The Avengers film concluding them was more like a fun team mashup than a genuine conclusion of a grander plot. That started to change in Phase Three. Phase Three knew they were part of a larger plan but were given breathing room. Phase Four is controlled. SpiderMan’s movie had a specific end goal in mind - Peter Parker is alone. How we get there doesn’t matter but that has to be how it concludes. So you get these unbelievable characterizations from people we think we know very well at this point. WandaVision has a satisfying conclusion that Doctor Strange reneges on. Love and Thunder teases the introduction of Jane Foster as the Mighty Thor then kills her off in the same damn movie. Black Widow takes place in the past. Loki is a fun and interesting show where the main character does exactly zero character growth. This is post-Avengers 1 Loki we're talking about, acting more like post-Infinity War Loki. 
Speaking of Loki, let's come back around to the critique that the deaths in L&T don't stick.
Exhibit A is the show Agents of Shield, constructed entirely around fan fervor that Phil Coulson not die. In fact Infinity War and Endgame killed off then resurrected trillions of people. It is a comic staple that deaths don't stick.
In this particular movie, I also think it's a bit disingenuous. After all, this isn’t Supernatural. Each person dies and is “brought back” for a specific reason. The death of Gorr’s daughter is his entire motivating force. He’s about to win and destroy an entire universe full of gods when he’s convinced by Thor to resurrect his daughter instead. Just that one simple wish. 
It’s the kind of wish we would see from an Avenger, really. I’m reminded of parallels from previous movies - Hawkeye’s revenge fugue, the soft plea of Natasha Romanov to “let me go,” Iron Man’s conviction that they had to try to fix the world but only by bringing everyone forward because he didn’t want to lose his daughter, Steve Rogers choosing to stay behind for Peggy. These simple, quiet, individual narratives make up a lot of the tapestry of motivating force behind our protagonists. It’s strange and discomfiting when that same narrative makes up our villain’s stories too. Wanda just wants to be with her children again, and is prepared to pay any price. Gorr wants to avenge his daughter. Where is the line between good and evil?
I think this movie is the first one to say there is no line. Gorr is a good person who was originally motivated by just means. It was being brainwashed (grief or depression) that was his undoing, and when that source of poison in his mind was removed, he went back to the simple motivations he had at the start, and resurrects his daughter.
That’s a really satisfying conclusion to Gorr’s narrative arc. Trading his life for his daughter’s is the noblest thing he can do in this scenario. His daughter becomes a symbol that people are, all of us, good by nature. And the bad that we do is often a product of trauma or desperation. Punishing that trauma and desperation isn’t actually the way to defeat it. Love is. 
Not all the time. Some of the time people are Zeus - so privileged and in their own ego that they stop seeing others beneath them as people the way that they are people. Zeus is, in some ways, a villain in this movie. The hyper violent attack at Omnipotence City and splashes of golden blood spattered everywhere feels out of place because we’re used to thinking of things in this color palette as good, just, protagonistic. Zeus is surely the good guy. But he imprisons our protagonist, humiliates him in public, and prevents him from saving a dozen children. Zeus is acting as a villain. 
I saw someone make a point that by killing Zeus, we’re drawing a direct parallel to Gorr - Thor is becoming a godkiller which harkens back to a far less mature version of himself responding in an overly hotheaded manner to a situation. But is that actually what happened? Thor only kills Zeus after Zeus kills Korg. He’s avenging. It’s literally the name of the game for Thor. Is our protagonist’s behavior in any way different to what we have seen them do against Thanos? Against Gorr’s shadow monsters? Against dozens of owl monsters at the beginning of the movie?
We don’t actually see Zeus die, and in villain language, that means he isn’t dead. It’s not at all strange that Zeus comes back in a cameo at the end to threaten Thor with vengeance. 
Lastly there’s Jane Foster, who enters Valhalla. The article I read argued that by seeing Jane immediately again, we the audience don’t feel the weight of her loss the way we would otherwise, and maybe that’s true, but I don’t think something like this is a good argument for a character that can’t stay dead. After all, we see examples like this all the time in movies, comics, and TV shows. The first example that comes to mind is a bit silly but bear with me - Hocus Pocus. Thackery Binks dies, almost immediately comes back as a ghost, and then walks off into the sunset to spend eternity with his sister. We feel the character’s grief and get a different payoff of believing that this character is in whatever passes as heaven for this universe. 
For this one I would argue we don’t really need it. We already saw Jane dissolve into stardust, we know she’s a god. Including Valhalla in the end credits does a specific different thing: it introduces the concept of Valhalla as a place that exists which we might see again in the future. And that is a pretty poor reason to bring Jane back for a cameo with Heimdall. 
Ultimately I didn’t think Thor: Love and Thunder was a very good movie. But I don’t think it’s the worst Thor movie. I think if this movie had been dropped into Phase One, people would have thought it was groundbreaking. But because it’s in Phase Four, it feels like a rehash. 
I can also see the movie this could have been if it had trimmed some things, or made slightly different directing decisions. There are definite flaws and definite weaknesses, but I appreciate that they actually redeem the villain. 
0 notes
stimmybruno · 2 years
Text
i’m rlly glad with the way luisa was portrayed in encanto. bcus she is strong, she is built muscly and broad and tall. BUT she also wears dresses and doesn’t have a ‘boyish’ hairstyle. she isn’t masculine. she’s feminine.
yk a lot of women in fiction who are portrayed as strong are always immediately made to be masculine as well. and obviously this solidifies the “men are strong” stereotype. women in fiction who are muscly, or who are fighters or who are strong are almost ALWAYS portrayed as masculine but luisa isn’t.
women can be strong and feminine. women can be muscly and wear dresses. and that strength that’s “all so masculine and man like (/sarc)” doesn’t take anything away from their womanhood/femininity.
28K notes · View notes
firehrt · 6 years
Text
so forever ago i was rambling late at night about how aelin is somewhere between 5′7″ and 5′8″ but is frequently referred to as short / petite even though she’d fucking tower over me and i finally got a hold of all the heights listed in the book and
Tumblr media
           this explains so much sHE’S SURROUNDED BY GIANT MUSCLY MEN WHAT DO THEY EAT IN ERILEA
1 note · View note
staryuee · 2 years
Note
Hi hi hi!!!! I like ur writings >< its ok if u dont butt can i request a scenario is ok with itto and thoma where the reader is jealous of sara and ayaka respectively but the reader doesnt lash out, they just become big sad:( thank youuu!!!
jealous reader gets upset :( — genshin hcs ⸝⸝
Tumblr media
— warning[s]. kinda angsty ? and also intense favouritism w the women👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩
— synopsis . . . reader becomes jealous of (insert my favourite girls here) and becomes sad :’(
— characters . . . itto , thoma
★ notes . . . jealousy is to be expected in any relationship, don’t ever feel bad abt ur feelings ! make sure to talk it out with your partner :)) <3
Tumblr media Tumblr media
— small backstory to what happened: itto had been hanging around sara a lot and leaving quite little time to spare for you (much to his dismay) it’s mostly been just him teasing and annoying her into sparring , once again she won’t budge - this sort of thing repeated for days and the coos and awes of people around town weren’t helping your jealousy
— he noticed you’ve been having this sort of negative energy around you , and that your eyes always had this red tint to them but he just assumed it was just allergies or something (once again, he’s a himbo.)
— big himbo man doesn’t understand why you’ve been avoiding him for the past few weeks :( he’s been missing your surprise hugs and your cute smile
— the days you do catch each other’s attention , it’s very short lived and you end up leaving straight away, he just wants to know what he did wrong so things can finally go back to normal !! ;’(
— when he finally managed to catch you he pleaded that you two go out on a date together to bond his charming smile was too hard to resist so you agreed with a simple nod
— though , this plan ultimately backfired. sara was walking around inazuma apparently searching for something to do with military affairs assigned by the raiden shogun , being the social man he is he went up to sara to start a conversation
— obviously , this upset you even more since you were literally on a date so you just decided to leave as to not waste your time
— poor man’s heart dropped when he couldn’t find you i mean you were right there next to him a couple seconds ago ?? where could’ve you gone in such a short time frame ??
— honestly searched for hours on end before he finally saw you sitting underneath a tree , knees bucked up towards your face and the sunshine softly enveloping you
— he sat down next to you , muscly arms pulling you in gently with a loving sweet kiss to the crown of your head yet all that wasn’t enough to put a pause on the burning tears that ran down your face
— hearing your silent weeps sincerely broke his heart and the fact you wouldn’t even look at him like you normally would when you’re upset - he understood it was his most likely his fault but he was more than ready to take responsibility
— he let you calm down , slowly rubbing your back with one hand whilst giving you short kisses on the top of your head for comfort which manages to work as your tears finally start pricking your eyes
— once you finally explained your feelings and thoughts to him , he just wanted to spoil you with his affection because he felt so bad :(( treats you to anything you want ! with extra cuddles, kisses and words of affirmation as a reward <3
Tumblr media
— as ayaka’s housekeeper (malewife) and as a loyal friend of course he’d hang and monitor her quite often , but when those “often’s” become “daily” it can get pretty lonely
— the only things you ever really heard over the past weeks was “sorry , i can’t i need to help ayaka” or any other variation of that same sentence and honestly , you were tired
— when passing by the yashiro commission it was hard to not notice the playful and fleeting touches that they gave each other and the giggles that echoed throughout your head like nails on chalkboard
— thoma would never dare to hurt your feelings on purpose , he’s loved you since like forever ! so you had no real doubt that his love for you was true however you just couldn’t handle the envy that brew itself inside you and planted this seed of insecurity
— you refused to go out whilst you were feeling this way , you just had this sense of shame that you’d even let these sort of thoughts pass through your mind even though you’re more than aware that she’s just his friend
— thoma started to feel your absence besides him , i mean he’s noticed it since the beginning but only now it’s dawning over him that you’ve genuinely not been together enough and that your daily dose of kisses hasn’t been given in way too long ! :(
— he’s an extremely observant individual and very talented at identifying certain behavioural patterns especially when it comes to you , so when he saw you curled up in bed with tissues swarming your bedside table he really knew that this detachment from one another has took a toll on you
— climbs into bed with you and slowly but surely wraps his arms around your waist with a light squeeze and a few chaste kisses on your neck
— didn’t waste any time to apologise thoroughly , he confessed and affirmed his love for you as if you were both back at the start of your relationship - he just wanted to make sure you knew he loved and adored you and that nothing or no one could prevent that
— makes sure to dote on you heavily , so if you’re not into heavy PDA then .. good luck ! <3
Tumblr media
IHEARTGANYU do not copy, steal or repost <33
★ notes : i went a tad overkill with the angst on some parts :’) i’ll reward you guys i swear <3
1K notes · View notes