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asnarkyandironicusername · 3 months

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to be fair, snily at least has sev's canon crush and a canon friendship (lily actually makes an effort to hold on to snape's friendship, even if it becomes too much). i've seen ppl go for AUs or redemptions. it's not my thing, but they're common romance tropes, especially since snape does repent bc of lily (again, not everyone likes it or is convinced by it, but it's still a canon thing). i think it's a different thing from, say, moonwater. the others? i wish at the very least they'd acknowledge that half the ship wants the other dead. it's sick to read regulus being cared for and comforted by the victims of the guy he fanboys over if there's no effort to acknowledge that that's what's going on. either make an AU or an OC, at the very least. "regulus and remus would be friends" no they would not, regulus wants remus twice dead bc he's a half-blood and bc he's a half-breed. and james would want nothing to do with someone that wants his friends dead.

Yeah, that’s fair, Anon. There’s definitely some nuance to this, like I agree that a redemption AU is different. As far as Snily, I could even see it when they are younger (like before year 6) & in Hogwarts as a bit of an AU, but the ones where Lily just straight up forgives him for having her hubby murdered & child hunted down are wild. The whole point in canon was that she was so fiercely protective of her child, he was protected even after her death!

Honestly, it’s the moonwater and the Jegulus (w/out redemption arcs) that truly blow my mind. And like I said, I’m all for ship what you want, but I agree they should be labeled AUs & not treated as if it would be canon for a DE and a werewolf to get high and laugh about their boyfriends together (especially considering DE are allegorical Nazis & Nazis also hated gay people). “Joann never said it didn’t happen!” No, but she certainly gave us enough context clues that we can put it together!

#hp discourse #anon ask #answered asks #the marauders era #messr moony #moony wormtail padfoot and prongs #messr padfoot #messr prongs #messr worm tail #regulus black #severus snape #hp opinions #canon vs headcanon #canon vs fanon #fandom discourse

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clare-with-no-i · 2 years

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Never been a fan of Drarry, Dramione or DE James because it simply goes against everything these characters stand for. Even in an AU, it just... it just rubs the wrong way. I could get behind the Scorpius/Rose in the new generation but aside from them, the other ships don't really make too much sense

yeah I mean. I don’t love it and it gives me the oppressor/oppressed ick (mostly wrt Dramione as opposed to Drarry ig), but the thing is…this content could have been made for Dramione or Snily or something of the sort—those ships already exist. there are communities there where everyone not only consents to see that content but is enthusiastic about it.

It’s just the conscious choice to take a character whose entire raison d’etre is fighting fascism and standing for moral good, turning him into an active and remorseless participant in oppression and murder of a subjugated group, and then turning around and supplanting the romance/ship we have all come to appreciate and bond over (where the woman is! a part of that group!) onto that new character? profiteering off of marginalized suffering for what, for porn? that’s not ok, and what’s even more not ok is to continuously ignore, dismiss, and even rage against the concerns expressed by POC, Jewish, and marginalized fans who feel uncomfortable with the parallels and the themes being exposited.

sigh. but yeah I agree. it goes against everything JP stands for.

#ask #anon

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blitheringmcgonagall · 3 years

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20 questions Writer’s Edition

@of-stars-and-moon and @velvethopewrites thanks for the tag!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

508,562

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Harry Potter Marauders Era and a crossover with LOTR

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

We Can Be Heroes

(Canon Jily & Wolfstar - from The Prank to Halloween 1981)

Sirius Black seemed to have broken the Marauders after revealing Remus Lupin's secret to Snape, James Potter was failing miserably in what his friends called Prongs Pursuing Evans, and Lily Evans was realising she may have misjudged certain people. Voldemort and his followers were beginning to show an interest in the Marauders. All was not well...

Maybe I waited too long

(Medical marauders - Jily & Wolfstar)

Dr. James Potter and Dr. Sirius Black had gotten their lives and careers back on track after the nightmare that followed the collapse of Slytherin Pharmaceuticals, and moved abroad to work in Dublin to get away from painful memories. But they find themselves confronted by their past, their lost loves and arch enemies.

Birthday Blues

(Happy canon Wolfstar)

Sirius is turning sixty and he is appalled...

Nah, He Didn’t

(BlackEvans broTP)

“So then as he’s so clearly not interested in me, if he ever really was-“

The dog dropped his head onto the grass and whined loudly.

“I decided the only way to address this was by us both dating other people. Excellent idea, I thought,” she said.

The dog looked at her as though she had grown two heads.

The New Boyfriend

(Medical marauders au - Wolfstar)

Sirius hears about Remus' new boyfriend

5. Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I do, all the time, because I’m so happy when I read a beautiful comment I have to thank you! Also some comments are hilarious and need a banter-filled reply, right??

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Halloween 1981 - Canon Marauders Ending

It’s awful, in the way “canon” is awful: first of all from Lily and James’ PoV, then from Sirius’ PoV and finally from Remus’ PoV 🥺🥺🥺🥺

7. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

Well, We Can Be Heroes ends with a much better ending than canon which is now my canon! Otherwise maybe Have Yourself A Merry Little Wolfnoote has very cute James and Harry moments at the end which I shamelessly love!

8. Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

I’ve only ever written one, for @therealrjlupin : a lord of the rings / marauders crossover called Ithildin and Silmë !!

9. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Yeah not much, only relating to We Can Be Heroes I think? Once a weirdo big rant on ff.net saying I was going to hell… pretty sure because it had Wolfstar in it. I felt a bit sorry for the person, they may have been unwell, it was a really huge long thing. I got it deleted.

Then the odd “I hate the way you write Snape” which is A MASSIVE COMPLIMENT SO THANK YOU! And the odd “I don’t like the way your Lily is such a strong woman, she’s making James look weak” which is hilarious and James Potter would be snorting at your ridiculousness and making heart eyes at Lily.

10. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Nope, because I think in my job I wouldn’t feel comfortable if it ever got out 😂!

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

No thankfully.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes I had The Graham Norton Christmas Special - Snily vs Risky translated into Chinese!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yeah a Wolfstar fic with a few great writers called All’s Well That Ends Well but then removed my name from it due to the work thing as above, lol!

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

Jily (Wolfstar is either joint favourite or a close second)

15. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

None!

16. What are your writing strengths?

Ugh I hate this question - Maybe understanding a character’s childhood/ psychological background and how that impacts on their personality and behaviours, why we do what we do? (I feel it helps me write characters)

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Again, very hard to know as I’m not objective! I think writing chapters that are too long!

18. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I’ve written Italian!James saying a few sentences in Italian in A Little Risk (the murder mystery 1930s anti fascist fic) and Sirius speaking in French and Lily speaking (and cursing) in Irish in We Can Be Heroes but not a huge chunk of dialogue!

19. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter Marauders (Jily)

20. What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

We Can Be Heroes is my baby and my favourite, closely followed by the medical marauders AU because medical Jily & Wolfstar is such fun to write, plus like WCBH, it has some real life inserts 😉!

Tagging @mollymarymarie @magic-girl-in-a-muggle-world @tumbledfreckles @stonecoldhedwig @nymphadoratonqs @corinnesamuels @chierafied @sisforsammi @letthebookbegin @missgryffin @fromtiime @moonzelle @alittlebitofeverything23 @isahorcrux @justfinishthis @booksarelife-stuff @lorrainebow @itsvioletttt @jilyesplz @oyprongs @cesays and anyone else who wants to!

#tag games #loveliest tumblr friends #writers asks #marauders #Jily and Wolfstar #wolfstar & jily

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slyther-bi · 3 years

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Upon trying to write the next chapter for "Murderer from Spinner's End" a thought came to mind.

Should you not what it's about, it's a no magic au involving the Marauder's, Severus, and Lily. Basically Severus grows up to became a killer with Lily. They're friends with the Marauder's, including Peter I know many fics like to exclude him.Also Sev and Lily are like siblings so no snily, only friendship for the two☺️ There's no bashing on a character in this story, except for tobias, least that's what I'm trying to accomplish.

Maybe I could post it on here, I keep thinking about it and I'm not sure. I only got like 8 chapters written and tbh, I'm unsure on where the story is heading which is why I haven't updated it cause I'm doing my best to plan it out to keep it from going off the tracks.

I wasn't gonna add any relationships but I think I might, tho for sure I know that Severus will stay single in this book and I won't say why. I think that if I do post it on here I can probably gain more ideas but the effort to post it on here will be a lot.

Atleast to me and I'm not sure if people will view it. I've posted it on Wattpad (there's a bit of spelling errors so forgive me), Ao3 (less spelling I read through the chapters before uploading it on there), Fanfiction.net (spelling errors).

For the relationship thing should I add any I will name the ships that will not happen.

Snily

Jily

Wolfstar

Any other ship involving Severus

I'm not all that good at writing a fic with plot but for some reason I really do enjoy this fic, despite hardly receiving any feedback (most I get are votes in wattpad)

#murderer from spinner's end #no magic au #muggle murder au #severus snape prince #severus snape #lily evans #the marauders #hp #hp text post #hp shit #hp shitpost #random #shit post #random shit #my shit #hp fic #my writing

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severusloveslily · 4 years

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bloodlust || snily au

“Off to prowl the streets of London again?” Lucius smirked as he looked at his dark-haired friend. “Honestly, Severus, why don’t you just do what we do? There’s a whole network of idiots out there who are obsessed with the idea of being bitten by a vampire. You don’t even have to pay them, they just come straight to you. It’s like a buffet,” he laughed.

“I like a little sport to my hunting, thank you,” Severus said as he looked at him. “I’ll see you later,” he muttered as he left the Manor.

He and Lucius Malfoy had been friends for centuries --- literal centuries. They had met in the Third Crusade almost a millennium ago. Severus had been a top general in King Richard I’s calvary and had won many battles. Lucius had also been fighting, but he was working with his own army to take down religious foes. Severus had been out patrolling the perimeter when Lucius approached him and talked. Just talked, nothing else. Severus had thought he was insane. He thought he’d drank too much mead or had fallen and bumped his head or something. He dismissed him as a heretic and that he was against the church. However, Lucius had been very persuasive after that, and the next thing Severus knew... he woke up. He woke up with a burning sensation in his throat and his entire body felt like it had a thousand hot swords sticking in every single inch.

It was funny now, him fighting in a religious war and now he was a literal abomination from hell. Lucius had shown him his ways. He had shown him that religion wasn’t the way. That they had everything wrong and there wasn’t anything wrong with their... condition, as Severus referred to it. Lucius referred to it as a gift. Severus knew that Lucius just wanted to use him as a pawn in his army, but they’d grown to be close friends after that. There had been trouble brewing in the vampire world for years before that, hundreds of years even. A very prominent and annoyingly persistent clan of vampire hunters began picking off major family heads within the community one by one. Severus couldn’t make sense of it. He hadn’t a clue how a family of humans could seriously rip through hundreds of vampires like it was fucking child’s play. The more powerful beings in their world hadn’t been touched and had fought off most of them, but there had been one very irritating huntress that had eventually picked them all off. Except Severus and Lucius. It took both of them to take her down and she’d nearly killed Lucius. Hell, she’d nearly killed him. Severus still had the scar near his heart to prove it. She’d put up a good fight and had stabbed him with a stake, but hadn’t quite gotten over far enough to his heart. He’d taken the chance to rip her in two.

Ever since then, he and Lucius had retired their ways of war. The vampire hunters were no more and there wasn’t any reason to fight. There were hardly any of them left. There were some clans in corners of the world, making a few more vampires here and there, but for the most part, they were on their own. Severus preferred it that way. Lucius had completely blended into the human world with his wife, Narcissa. They all lived near London and he was a major face in the Ministry of Magic, which Severus found all too amusing. They’d come up with elaborate backstories and faked magical documents to get him hired there. It also wasn’t hard to manipulate these foolish humans’ minds.

Severus hadn’t gone that route. He spent most of his time in his home, reading or working on potions. He had been very intrigued when Lucius informed him of a magical school in the Europe that trained witches and wizards. It was part of the reason why they came back there. They had traveled and lived all over the world, but England was home for both of them. Severus had read up on all he could on these magical beings, trying to find similarities. Maybe even companionship. They didn’t seem to suspect Lucius. But Severus had taken up potioneering and found that he was quite good at it. He sold his work and research under an alias so as not to rouse suspicion that it came from the same place for the last few hundred years. He made enough money from it, but he’d also had nearly a thousand years to save up, too. He knew many crafts. He knew the art of healing, he’d been to university more times than he could count just learning different things, but he always came back to chemistry and potion-making. Perhaps that’s what he had been in another life. His human life was so long ago that he could barely remember it.

He fed on humans once a month. He tried to get his fill when he went out to hunt so he wouldn’t have to go out again, and so the police wouldn’t get suspicious. If he fed too often, they’d begin to put two and two together. But they were idiots, the lot of them.

Some vampires only fed on animals. Severus found that to be a noble thought, but... it just disgusted him. He hated animal blood. He tried to at least be good about human blood though and only went after monsters like him: murderers, rapists, robbers, just evil people that didn’t deserve a place in the world. He didn’t like it, but it was all he knew. He’d been a soldier in war, killing people was his specialty.

Severus had been following the news in London and kept a close eye on the police’s suspects. He could hear thoughts so it wasn’t hard to track them down. The man he was planning to hunt tonight in particular was a serial rapist and needed to go.

Severus put his hands in his pockets and idly walked down the darkened street. He stayed in the shadows, waiting. Soon enough, a man rounded the corner and was walking rather briskly. Severus smirked and began to follow him at a distance. Lucius always accused him of playing with his food, but what else was a poor damned soul like him to do?

He needed to wait until they were alone and weren’t at risk for getting caught. He didn’t need to kill any witnesses today. He made some noise purposely and hid when the man turned around suspiciously. He resisted laughing to himself. It was far too easy sometimes. He continued walking after him and quickened his pace, on him in an instant. He pushed him back against the wall of a disgusting alleyway and clamped his hand over the man’s mouth. He leaned down and pierced his skin with his teeth, then began to bleed him dry. How had this man managed to sneak up on and assault anyone? He was an idiot and Severus was worried he’d get drunk from the fucking alcohol so rampant in his system.

He let him go and wiped his mouth, the body collapsing on the ground. He sighed and sniffed a bit. “You were not enjoyable at all,” he muttered down to the corpse.

#adultpara #bloodlustchapter1 #we've run out of ideas #so here's a vampire story #it was only a matter of time

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5lazarus · 7 years

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Harry Potter and the Summer of the Stepfather: Birthdays Pt. X

Tonks lurched in, tripped over the doorframe, and went sprawling into the center of the floor, knocking over the bottle of hornberry wine as she went. Everyone scattered. Harry, irritated, caught Ron’s eye. Ron made a face at him. Harry shook his head.

Tonks picked herself up. “Wotcher Harry!” she said cheerfully. “Happy birthday!”

“Yeah,” Harry said unenthusiastically. His neck prickled; Hermione was staring meaningfully at him. He cleared his throat. “Uh.” He faked a cough. “Sorry. Thanks.”

“Been a good birthday, then?” Tonks asked.

“Oh yeah, it’s been cool,” Harry lied. “Spent it with my mum and Professor Snape. Saw a movie, that Coen brothers movie.” He thought about adding how hilarious it had been, when Severus had slipped into the Minnesota accent.

Tonks frowned. Her hair darkened from pink to purple. Harry briefly caught a glimpse of another world where he thought she was one of the coolest people ever, like Bill; unfortunately now he just thought she was a bit naive. “I thought you went to the Puddlemore United game with James?”

“I chose to stick to my commitments,” Harry stated blandly. Hermione carefully, discretely poked him. He smiled. “It meant a lot to Mum.” It meant a lot to him.

Fred broke in, “Wow, can’t believe you spent it with OI’ Snapey of all people. What’s he been like?”

George added, “Threatening to take off points for the wrong deosil stir of the morning oatmeal? Trashing Gryffindor with every breath? Did he shower at all?”

“He gave me his grandfather’s watch, actually. It was a bit awkward in the beginning and honestly it’s still weird, but he’s been…” He trailed off. How could he describe the summer? Constantly wrongfooted, but never tiptoeing around: he’d learned more than he had ever wanted to know about his parents, but Snape had been relatively chill, though he still wasn’t very good at taking a joke at his own expense, not even from Lily. “Snape’s been pretty cool, actually. I mean, he’s touchy, but take him away from Neville’s exploding cauldrons and he’s actually pretty funny. And he makes my mum really happy.”

Hermione sighed. “Poor Neville. I can’t believe his grandmother is making him retake his Potions OWL on his birthday. It’s not he needs it for Herbology, not really.”

“It does look bad, though,” Cedric said mildly. “Think about it: a potions supplier who can’t synthesize anything more complicated than a boil cure?”

Grateful for the distraction, Harry sat back and let the conversation wash over him. He liked his friends. He liked them a great deal. Luna and Ginny were at a careful distance from each other, out of all the Weasleys only Ron and Percy knew, and Ginny was making up for the discomfort by being particularly belligerent to Fred and Tonks especially, who had been her first major crush. Ron played dumb and sarcastic, only reacting to what was said, and Cedric stayed mostly silent. He and Tonks had barely overlapped in Hogwarts, and he had never liked the twins. Cedric didn’t have much of a sense of humor. It made him a little difficult to talk to sometimes.

Eventually, they were called down, flushed and overheated and laughing, to the backyard, alit with candles and fairies in jars, where Mrs. Weasley had set up an enormous Golden Snitch cake. The entire Order, sans Severus and Professor Dumbledore, was there, beaming in the feylight. Lily looked a little teary. She was standing on the other side of the cake, away from his father. He walked to her. She half-hugged him. They sang happy birthday and then Harry had to endure everyone’s well wishes, various hugs from people he barely knew, hand-shakings, and intense questions on what he wanted to do with his future.

He didn’t know what he wanted. Voldemort was only just dead, but some of the Death Eaters were still at large, setting up Corban Yaxley as the new Dark Lord, and he knew he wanted a break from constantly being in danger. Eventually, he thought he might like to teach.For now, he wanted to survive his NEWTs.

“Ah, you’ll be an auror,” Professor McGonagall said. “Just like your dad was.”

James grinned and messed up his own hair. Lily conspicuously rolled her eyes.

Finally, Sirius came up to him, Peter as his heels as always. Harry stiffened. He’d always been a little intimidated by Sirius when he was younger, he’d been such a quiet kid and generally bullied for being weird at muggle school, and Sirius had always teased him for being silent and not wanting to answer questions. Of course, that had changed with Ron and Hermione, he’d come out of his shell, even thought he mostly stuck by them, but he never really knew what to say to him that he wouldn’t rather say to his own father. He glanced at his mother. She was outright scowling: the prank. Yeah.

“Hey, sport,” Sirius said, ruffling Harry’s hair. Harry tried not to scowl; nevermind the uncomfortable questions, this had always driven him insane. He patted his hair down, but it stayed as wild as always. “Been a good birthday with your dad?”

Suddenly, an absolutely evil idea crossed Harry’s mind. He grinned, looking at Peter’s pensive face, his father’s uncomfortable expression, his faintly murderous mother. He could make this worse. He could make this so much worse.

“Oh yeah. It’s been great. Didn’t you hear? Mum’s engaged!” Harry exclaimed happily. “She and Severus are getting married!”

James rounded on Lily. “You’re marrying Snivellus?”

“Don’t call him that! And no, Harry’s being a shit–”

“He’s a Death Eater, Lily!” James paused. “Don’t call my son a shit!”

“But I’m being a shit,” Harry said. “I’m starting shit. You’re a shit.”

“He’s got to have you imperiused,” Sirius said. He raised his wand. “Come on, we need to check for dark magic–”

“Put that fucking stick down before I punch your face in, Sirius, Harry’s being an ass.”

James grabbed her arm. “Lily, please, we need to talk about this–you can and should be doing so much better than that greasy weirdo–”

“He’s not that greasy,” Harry chimed in.

“You are such a little shit,” Lily said, “you have been spending far too much time with Severus–”

“Sirius, just cast the finite,” Peter urged.

“Lily, I thought you told me marriage was a bourgeois concept–is he forcing you into this–”

“Oh, you’re one to fucking talk, James. Will you just listen to me–”

“Finite incantatum!” Sirius shouted.

Nothing happened.

Lily looked at him flatly. “Are you done?”

“What?”

She picked up the cake platter and tossed it into Sirius’ face. Peter yelped, “Expel-expelliarmus!” Lily’s eyes widened, but she couldn’t cancel the curse quickly enough. The cake, resting on plates across the backyard and nestled in Sirius’ hair, blew up.

Between the Marauders, Lily, and Harry, they managed to pin the blame on Fred and George, who actually were contemplating blowing up the cake. When the misunderstanding was cleared, Harry feeling defensively smug, Lily just irritated, Jame and Sirius agreed that it was a most excellent prank. Peter just grinned awkwardly.

“Yeah,” Harry said. “Exactly how pranks should go: harm to none, maximize slapstick.”

When Lily attempted complaining to Severus, when they finally got back, Severus laughed so hard he snorted. All in all, Harry thought: worst birthday ever. But the cake disaster was pretty fun.

—

End of “Birthdays”, a 10-part series from the Stepfather AU. Click the #birthdays tag below to read the entire series, and the #stepfather au to read more from this universe. For more of my Harry Potter fanfic, just click the #fanfic or #snily tag.

—

Will be updated so you can just click a link to the Stepfather AU page and the previous part eventually.

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ao3feed-jily · 6 years

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struck gold

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2qeLl7Z

by baneberries

The warm scent of cinnamon and ashes seemed to follow her to the very place she thought she could escape, and the very place which may be her last.

A simple show where she thought she could earn a little cash becomes a walking nightmare that she may never make it out of.

Nymphadora Tonks can hardly wriggle out of this one.

Words: 1410, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence

Categories: F/F, F/M, M/M

Characters: Nymphadora Tonks, Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, James Potter, Lily Evans, Fleur Delacour, Marlene McKinnon, Dorcas Meadowes, Peter Pettigrew, Hestia Jones

Relationships: Fleur Delacour/Nymphadora Tonks, Nymphadora Tonks/Remus Lupin, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, Marlene McKinnon/Dorcas Meadowes, Lily Evans/James Potter

Additional Tags: Fluff, Angst, Murder, Mystery, game show, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Modern AU, Ronks, Remadora, wolfstar, Morcas, jily, Snily, just kidding snily is dead, the Marauders don’t bully snape

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2qeLl7Z

#ao3feed #fanfic #Harry Potter #Jily #James Potter #Lily Evans #Lily Potter #Lily Evans Potter

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slytherinsnekxvii · 3 years

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hi, remember that murder snily au i'm always talking abt but never have anything to show for? yeah, i've scrapped it like six times now and i finally have a version of it i'm marginally satisfied with. so, here you go, this is the first part of maybe three or four, i think? have fun:

anger

/ˈaŋɡə/

noun

noun: anger; plural noun: angers

1. Normal anger does not split open one's ribcage and wind itself around their heart. Normal anger does not coat itself in venom and sit behind one's teeth and hide under their tongue and lie patiently in wait. Normal anger is not cold and slow and remorseless. Lily thinks that what she calls anger is normal. Lily does not realise that she is extraordinary.

Lily's brand of anger is decidedly... different. What, exactly, makes it so different isn't exactly obvious to her, but she knows that it's not like anyone else's. At least, not as far as she's aware. Hers is a cold sort of anger, an all-encompassing thing that bites and burns and hurts. It's patient, too, winding in and around her ribcage and clawing its way upwards to settle behind her teeth, waiting for a reason to show itself. It's protective, aiming to eliminate a threat before it has a chance to do further damage.

She's... aware of her anger. Not very much so, but it's seen the light of day often enough to be familiar to her. She doesn't know it, though, hasn't made herself properly acquainted with the more... unfortunate spectrum of her emotions, and that is what makes it truly dangerous.

When she feels something scratching at her insides and festering beneath a vindictive sort of justice at seeing Black and Potter and Lupin and Pettigrew suffer the displeasure of the Slytherins, she thinks it's anger. She finds herself in a dusty, unused classroom in the dungeons, helping to refine a brutal spell designed to rend the flesh of anyone unlucky enough to be on the wrong end of it and she thinks it's anger that curls around her and whispers into her ear, "Make sure it hurts."

It isn't. She calls it anger, claims it a necessity, insists that she's protecting her best friend, but she doesn't realise she's mistaken.

The story of the "Prank" gets out—doctored, of course, to keep Black out of Azkaban, and Lupin away from execution—and Lily titters into the back of her hand when she hears it told in bits and pieces throughout the corridors.

"Did you hear?"

"Who would've thought—"

"—bloody idiots went into the Forest! At night! What kind of—"

"—ll five of them, yeah. Can't figure out for the life of me how they managed to get Snape to go—"

"—must've dragged 'im kicking an' screamin', I'm telling y—"

"—Gryffindors, my left tit! Damn cowards just ran off and left Lupin and Snape to deal with—"

"—no clue what happened, but have you seen the scars?"

"—out of the Hospital Wing, already? How—"

"—down fifty points! All because that lot wanted to play jokes aga—"

She smiles, a tiny, smug thing that she doesn't notice, and moves on. The Slytherins are properly riled up now, Rosier and Mulciber and Wilkes and Avery hovering around her and Severus with expressions she can't describe as anything but sadistic. At some point, she realises that their presence makes her feel much less uncomfortable than it did a week ago. She doesn't dwell on it, ignoring the small part of her that worries and shivers in favour of leaning over Severus's shoulder to read about the sort of magic that appears in nightmares.

She grips her wand, idly twirling the twelve-and-a-half inches of willow and dragon heartstring as she skims over detailings of ancient, arcane magic. It's always about blood, she thinks, staring a diagram of a pricked finger dripping red into a cauldron. Potion for Transferring Magic from One Wizard to Another, the heading proclaims. She shakes her head, accidentally knocking into Severus's in the process. "Ow."

He winces a little, and then tells her, "I'm turning the page."

She hums, eyes glued to a book she wouldn't dare look at not even a week ago, and says, "Okay."

It's fascinating, Lily has to admit. Gruesome in some cases and horrific in others, yes, but there's something... mesmerising about it, something hideously captivating in the way that the diagrams seem to eagerly demonstrate their attached spells. On the page, a young wizard is neatly flayed alive, the entire process precise. Her stomach rolls, but Lily can't seem to tear her gaze away for even a second. She doesn't think about it.

She doesn't think about a lot of things, actually, staunchly refusing to acknowledge the way she finds herself drawn away from her Housemates and friends, instead choosing to orbit around her best friend and the seemingly endless rotation of Dark Arts tomes he's somehow gotten his hands on.

Mary's sick of her excuses, she knows, responding to every one with a nod and an, "Oh, alright, then," in that tone that lands somewhere in the middle of disappointment, exasperation and concern.

Marlene has given up entirely, the whole of their interactions reduced to simple greetings in the hall and nods when they pass each other between classes.

Dorcas is nice about it, still catching her arm on the way to breakfast, still offering to study with her when they're all together in the Common and she doesn't want anyone to feel left out. It's undeniable, though, that her smile isn't near as warm as it used to be and it's tinged with worry at the corners.

No one makes it a secret of what they think about her recent activities. And as for the company she's keeping? Well, they'd always been particularly vocal about that.

Things must come to a head eventually, and they do, not even ten minutes after Professor Sprout has dismissed them from the classroom on Wednesday afternoon. She hears the whispers first, half of them from students she doesn't even know, has never said a word to.

"—conspiring with snakes—"

"—think it's the first time I've heard of a Gryff going Dark—"

"—ck was right about her, she's got no—"

Something ugly twists in her chest, and she forces her feet to turn and move, one step after the other. She can make it to the Common Room reasonably quickly, she thinks, and then she catches the self-proclaimed Marauders outside the Great Hall. Or rather, they catch her.

"You can do better than a bunch of slimy snakes, Evans," Potter crows, and she stops dead in her tracks. "Why bother with them when you've got a fine piece of Gryffindor right here?"

"Get lost," she says, the words ground flat between grit teeth.

Potter does not get lost. "Come on, Evans," he continues. "You're not acting like a proper Gryffindor. Where's your House loyalty? I can guarantee that chivalry and bravery are much better than whatever they're offering." It sounds... like a taunt, and this is when Lily realises that what she's been feeling isn't anger.

"Chivalry? Bravery? What would you know about any of that? It's not very chivalrous to corner students four-to-one, now, is it?" She hisses her words, each one more scathing than the last, and as she spits them out, every last one dripping venom, she realises that she wants it to hurt. "And it certainly doesn't seem brave to leave behind someone who needs help because you got cold feet! I'm not a proper Gryffindor? No, I think you've got it wrong, James. If you want to see an improper Gryffindor, the whole lot of you can go right ahead and look in a bloody mirror! I will not be talked down to by the likes of spiteful little cowards like you! I'm more Gryffindor than all four of you put together, but if you're what our House is supposed to look like, then I want nothing to do with it!"

Her ears are ringing when she's done, the whole world narrowed down to one singular focal point, the group of boys headed by the one who'd been desperate to get her attention and regrets it now that he has it. She looks at each of them in turn, summoning a contempt she didn't know she possessed until now. "Save your breath," she snaps, when Black's jaw unlocks, and she turns around and walks away.

Something slots into the place at the back of her mind, and she thinks, oh, her fingers itching to wrap themselves around her wand and whisper the words that will turn them inside out, call the blood from their pores and make it sing. Something clicks, when she thinks about she felt just then, and she can tell the difference quite clearly, very easily, between pure, white-hot, blinding rage and what she's been calling anger. She doesn't know what it really is, and she doesn't want to. She doesn't think about it, either, simply pushes the entire realisation to the back of her head and thinks, oh.

It changes... very little. Something inside of her has changed, and she finds herself growing steadily more unbothered by the voice in her that tells her about old, forbidden magicks of the body and the mind and the blood. It's always about blood.

She doesn't bother reading over Severus's shoulder anymore, the two of them scribbling notes as the pages flip on their own once they've both finished reading.

What does change things is when Rosier corners her after Defence one day, a sealed envelope held in his hand.

"What's this?" Lily asks, eyeing the pristine letter suspiciously. She might get along with the Slytherins much better now—especially after the incident with the Marauders that Rosier had found particularly amusing—but she can't say she truly trusts them.

"An invitation," he says, and before she can speak, he continues. "Every rule has its exceptions. We'd thought there was only room for one Mudblood prodigy, but it looks like there's space for two."

"Don't call me that," she bites, and he waves the envelope at her.

"Think about it. As it stands now, men like Potter and Dumbledore are holding too many of the cards. Men who would let people die and then cover it up to save their own hides. Don't you want to see them get what's coming to them?"

"There's no difference between you and them," she says.

"Isn't there? We've never claimed to be good."

She stares at him, silent.

"It's a new age, Evans. Don't you want to change the world?" he asks.

She takes the envelope.

anyways, i hope you enjoyed that! thanks for reading :)

#fic #murder snily au #severus snape #lily evans #harry potter fanfiction #darkfic #i mean not yet but it will be #anyways #that took wayyy too long #it took me so long to get to this point it's not even funny anymore #but i'm glad i did #getting my shit together seems likw a pretty solid birthday present to myself i think #snily #anyways bye for now #also i have the same birthday as draco malfoy and i found that put via tiktok #gotta love it

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