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witch · 1 year

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sorry for the delay! 48 animals. 5 rounds. 3 brackets. 1 tournament to settle it all. here in Creacher Contest 2022, the greatest minds in the history of this website (and you!) will gather to decide once and for all who is tumblr’s favorite little scrimblo bimblo. you all voted in the first round. now begins round 2 to decide the creacher among creachers!

THE RESULTS AND THE ROUND 2 LINK (under the cut!)

CARD 1: Pikachu (winner!) vs. Stuart Little: with 286 votes against Stuart's 39, Pikachu has claimed the most overwhelming Round 1 victory with a whopping 88 percent! Does he have enough Z-Power to maintain this momentum in the coming matches? Stay tuned!

CARD 2: Tom & Jerry vs. Perry the Platypus (winner!): in a heinous act one can only describe as homophobic, Tom and his husband Jerry have been taken out of the game in Round 1 after accruing only 110 votes (33.8%) against Perry's 215 (66.2%). Reporters are calling this tragedy the worst thing to happen to gay people since my straight sister learned how to say 'yass'.

CARD 3: Kirby (winner!) vs. The Lorax: Our orange friend (56 votes, 17.2%) may have powerful connections here on Tumblr via the Onceler, but even those could not save him from the super tough pink puff. His current location is unknown and Kirby (269 votes, 82.8%) has been spotted with a yellow mustache. Call the police.

CARD 4: The Minions (winner!) vs. Talking Tom This match was a bit closer, but thanks to everyone's efforts, Talking Tom (133 votes, 40.9%) has been fucking sent to hell. Anyone else remember the schoolyard rumor that Talking Tom takes pictures of people through his eyes? Like sure the whole thing is probably some datamining thing but that's literally not how anything works??? How was this a rumor????? Ok anyways Minions win (192 votes, 59.1%)

CARD 5: Dog (Columbo) (winner!) vs. Dog (Good Omens): War is hell... but today in this dog-eat-dog world, one sleepy fucking hound (186 votes, 57.2%) rose to the occasion and proved himself to be a certified sloppy floppy. (note: do NOT confuse with 'sloppy toppy'. the resemblance is coincidental. all basset hounds are sloppy AND floppy. think Mr. J's signature 'sloppy style' and we will understand each other and then kiss.) I know nothing about Good Omens and have nothing to add for the other Dog, who admittedly did well in his own right with 139 votes, 42.8%.

CARD 6: Bond Forger vs. Gunter (winner!): I honestly thought this race would be closer, but that probably says more about me than them lol. Taking 67.1% of the card with 218 votes, Gunter has defeated Bond (107 votes, 32.9) in a victory for secret aliens everywhere.

CARD 7: Silkie vs. Waddles (winner!): As a Gen Z elder (lol) who watched Teen Titans reruns on Boomerang, Silkie (79 votes, 24.3%) had my vote. Did this poll reach a younger crowd than me, or is Waddles (246 votes, 75.7%) simply that powerful?

CARD 8: Temmie (winner!) vs. Puppycat: This matchup was super close! Temmie (176 votes, 54.2%) managed to beat Puppycat (149 votes, 45.8%), but there really was no clear winner until the end. This battle of what are basically two tbhs with animal features was certainly the most exciting!

CARD 9: Yoshi (winner!) vs. Chocobo: The only knowledge of Chocobos (98 votes, 30.2%) I have is from this stupid fucking Chocobo anthro art my friend used to spam my DMs with. I basically just needed a thematically similar animal to job to Yoshi (227 votes, 69.8%). Yoshi's Island DS was actually the first video game I physically owned as a kid, so he's kinda special to me lol

CARD 10: Little Buddy vs. Crab (winner!): I had personally predicted Crab's victory (231 votes, 71.1%), but not to such an extent! In only seven weeks. the release of Splatoon 3 (Splathreen) revitalized and expanded its title's fandom. However, it proved to be ineffective against the might of the humble crab, aka the only good thing Tumblr's done for April Fool's since the lizard election. RIP Wretched Tooth I miss you every day #wretchedtoothstandsfortruth

CARD 11: Mr. J (winner!) vs. Salem: L to Salem (114 votes, 35.1%), but you'll always hold a special place in my heart. Unfortunately, it won't be as special as the one reserved for Mr. J, Tumblr's favorite small cat and one of the few Tumblr famous bloggers I don't want to set adrift in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. Now that that's out of the way: MR. J SWEEP COME ON EVERYONE VOTE FOR MR. J WE CAN DO IT

CARD 12: The Four Dark Devas of Destruction vs. Hamtaro (winner!): Once again, I haven't consumed either media here and have nothing to say on the matter. However, my friend was happy to hear that "the Danganronpa one lost". Part of me has to agree.

CARD 13: Toothless (winner!) vs. Stitch: Not only was this the closest match with Toothless at 167 votes (51.4%) and Stitch at 158 votes (48.6%), it was also the most controversial, yielding multiple complaints and one (1) death threat. While I sympathize and realize that putting two contenders as strong as Toothless and Stitch together in the first round may not have been the best move, I need everyone to understand that they have similar faces and must be grouped together for that. Thank you. Peace and love

CARD 14: Appa (winner!) vs. Lion: Did the ATLA fandom coordinate a move on this tournament? Because Appa (266 votes, 81.8%) beat Lion (59 votes, 18.2%) by a landslide! The representative of one of Tumblr's historically biggest fandoms losing like this surprised me, but if some sort of fandom participation really did occur, that makes me happy :)

CARD 15: Garfield (winner!) vs. Scooby-Doo: Report: After consuming no less than seven entire large pizzas, Scooby-Doo (149 votes, 45.8%) the dog was immediately rushed to the fucking vet. His owner, Shaggy was found similarly unresponsive. Sorry, Scooby: it was a close race, but nobody can beat Garfield (176 votes, 54.2%) in the art of eating Italian food and doing fuck all. Better luck next time!

CARD 16: Dimple vs. Moomin (winner!): Even after the coming and going of the Moomin (262 votes, 80.6%) fandom directly on my dashboard, all I can fucking think of is that gif of a blob of white mochi getting fucking pummeled in an automatic mochi maker that someone tagged '#moomin...' no matter what I do. That aside, he wiped the floor with Dimple (63 votes, 19.4%), who admittedly should have lost by disqualification anyways.

CARD 17: K-9 vs. Gary (winner!): Most important poll of the day, serving it up, Gary's (229 votes, 70.5%) way! Gary did great up against K-9 (96 votes, 29.5%), who is in fact this poll's only representative of SuperWhoLock. SuperWho would've thought he'd only rack up that many votes? Truly, no fandom can transcend one's early childhood.

CARD 18: Midna (winner!) vs. Morgana: In this battle of scrunkly little cat people, Midna (193 votes, 59.4%) was the definite winner, beating out Morgana (132 votes, 40.6%) by a decent amount. Whoever wins this tournament should be playable in Smash Bros 6

CARD 19: Puffles (winner!) vs. Chao: I feel like the Puffles (191 votes, 58.8%) won for the same reason Gary won: sheer power of childhood memory. As a kid, I always wanted the black one... was it locked behind the paid membership? It's been several years, so naturally I forgor. As for Chaos (134 votes, 41.2%): I am so fucking sorry to the person who said #CHAOSWEEP in the comments lol

CARD 20: Cousin Itt (winner!) vs. Tony Tony Chopper: the one piece wasnt real :(

CARD 21: Rigby vs. Mushu (winner!): Personally, I was really gunning for Rigby (125 votes, 38.5%). With Dimple so immediately out of the race, I was hoping for at least one representative of pathetic men everywhere. That being said, congrats to Mushu (200 votes, 61.5%)! Vote for him in Round 2 if you want him to job to Mr. J!

CARD 22: Luna vs. Hobbes (winner!): I read Calvin and Hobbes as a kid and only recently watched Sailor Moon as a feature for my anime club, but I can honestly say I like both. I still think a crossover would be gold! Show me Luna (117 votes, 36.0%) offering Calvin and Hobbes (208 votes, 64.0%) magical girl powers, Calvin rejecting the offer performatively and whining about lack of powers. That's 12 full strips of Calvin and Hobbes! Make it happen.

CARD 23: Ein (winner!) vs. Iggy: Ok quick tangent. I just looked up 'ein cowboy bebop' to find out what he does, clicked into the wiki and found a tiny, useless article only to then realize I was not on Cowboy Bebop Wiki but in fact the dreaded Heroes Wiki. This and Villains Wiki are the bane of my existence and I'd raise a glass if all parties involved were stranded on a snowy mountain. The Heroes Wiki entry for Spike Spiegel is 1980 words. The Bebop Wiki entry is 8000 words! Why the fuck would I ever want to read the latter? Why does it exist? Are there seriously people who browse Heroes Wiki, just clicking from unrelated protagonist to unrelated protagonist? It has absolutely no functional use in any fandom whatsoever! Any time I look up a fictional character, there's a 90% chance that the Heroes or Villains entry will be the one Google puts on top as if to say 'yeah, this is what you want. trust me.' And without fail, I click it every time! Since the Nazis who own Fandom made the mobile version of all their wikis the same fuck-ugly yellow, I can never tell until it's too late and I've wasted nearly forty seconds of precious time. If I was Elon Musk, not only would I not buy Twitter, I would instead buy Fandom, blow both of these wretched wikis off the face of the fucking earth and ban the IP adresses of anyone to ever type a single word into one of their useless, obtrusive entries. I cannot possibly overstate how much vitriol I bear towards these websites. Please vindicate me in the replies. Anyways, Ein got 265 votes (81.5%) and the other one got 60 votes (18.5%).

CARD 24: Snoopy (winner!) vs. Sakamoto: Snoopy got 195 votes (60.0%) and Sakamoto got 130 votes (40.0%). To quote my cousin's reaction when they found out:

"thank you snoppy"

here's the link to vote in the second round! i'll probably keep it open until 11:59pm est on november 3rd, that way i can get round 3 out in time for destiel day :)

finally, to conclude the post, here is a selection of my favorite comments from round 1 (view on mobile for optimal experience!)

thanks for playing! ~♥♛

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