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strife-and-discord · 5 years
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A Series of Firsts- Chapter 5
Read on AO3 here
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Characters: Yamada Hizashi/Present Mic, Todoroki Shouto
Summary: Shouto needs some new clothes to fill his new bedroom so Hizashi takes him shopping.
A/N: Sorry this took so long but I’m back again! In this chapter, I wanted to explore some of the long-lasting consequences Endeavour’s behaviour had on Shouto and also give him an opportunity to bond with Hizashi. I’m low on ideas at the moment so if you have any requests for this fic feel free to send them in!
As usual, this story is inspired by @deafmic  ‘s fic “Responsibility” which I highly recommend you go read, as it is a wonderful story.
Since Hizashi and Shouta have officially adopted him and he’s going to be staying with them from now on, they’ve been going through the long and arduous process of transferring all of Shouto’s old stuff to his new room. Shouto didn’t really want to go back to the old house so Fuyumi has been bringing over any leftover belongings she finds there. He really can’t thank her enough for how supportive she’s been throughout all of this. Hizashi noticed while he was unpacking that Shouto didn’t really have any clothes that had, as he put it, any “personality” so now he wanted to take him shopping.
To be honest the thought of going shopping feels a bit overwhelming at the moment. Shopping centres are full of people and people are loud and will probably make a big fuss over him if he’s seen out in public. There’s also the overpowering build-up of smells coming from the many food stalls that often make him feel sick. Hizashi had seen the look of worry on Shouto’s face and had told him that he didn’t have to go if he didn’t want to, but Shouto knows that he really does need to go shopping and it won’t do him any good to just hide from the things that scare him. Besides, it probably just seems really bad because he hasn’t been in a while and his father never really cared when he had what he now knows is a sensory overload. Things are different now, he’ll have Hizashi with him, who will make sure they can leave as soon as Shouto feels even a little overwhelmed.
He’s still trying to get used to having a proper say in how things go. Even just being able to make a decision based on how’s he feeling rather than what’s logical is a new experience for him. It’s hard not to fall back on old habits and push himself harder then he needs too. Every day he’s thankful that he’s got Hizashi and Shouta to help guide him. Shouta says it’s okay, normal even, to sometimes relapse into harmful behaviour and it may still happen even years from now although he should at least be better at dealing with it by then.
It should be ok to push himself a little bit though. Shopping isn’t a big deal and It’s not like the other bad habits that he normally does secretly or without thought. Hizashi even made sure to pick a day that hopefully won’t be too busy. There’s still enough people that Shouto feels nervous and he can’t help but pull the beanie he was wearing to conceal himself down a bit further. At least shopping has died down a bit since Christmas and New year have just passed.
As well as some new clothes, Hizashi is also hoping that they’ll be able to get some stuff for Shouto’s new room, although Shouto doesn’t think he would be able to manage both on one trip. Just the thought that Hizashi and Shouta are willing to let him choose out anything he wants for his new room is overwhelming on its own. As happy as he is to have the freedom of choice it’s… hard. If the last few weeks have taught him anything it’s that he’s apparently a very indecisive person and having someone make your every major life decision for you is a hard hole to crawl out of. Shouto’s never even had to consider what sort of posters he would like on his walls, which bedspread appeals to him, and whether or not he’d like to put any stuff on his shelves.
At the moment it feels like a lot of responsibility but Shouta and Hizashi have been really patient with him. He can’t help but feel a bit stupid over the fact that he struggles with something as simple as making his own choices but Shouta and Hizashi keep telling him that it’s not uncommon for kids in situations like his and he’ll learn to develop his own tastes in time. For the time being at least, Hizashi said he’s happy to help him pick out some stuff to fill his new accommodations.
As they begin their journey into the bowels of the shopping centre, Shouto feels a strong need to hold on to Hizashi’s hand but quickly brushes off the impulse as childish. However, much to his delight, Hizashi places a hand around his shoulder and looks down at him with a grin.
“Just so we don’t lose each other,” Hizashi says.
Just having that familiar weight on his shoulder instantly helps him to relax. This isn’t like when he was younger and he could either keep up with his father or get left behind, no matter how much he was suffering. Hizashi only has his best interests in mind and definitely won’t leave him behind if there’s something wrong.
They wander through the shopping centre and since Hizashi is holding on to him anyway, he takes the time to look around. Thankfully, no one seems to recognise him with his beanie on so no one’s paying him any mind. Most of the people there are families, probably getting ready for the new school year, Shouto used to get jealous when he saw them considering his family was always pretty broken. Now, he tries to look for similarities between them and what he has now. He thinks right now he most resembles the younger children being dragged along behind their flustered mothers. They look just as spaced out as he is right now.
Shouto comes to the realisation that they’ve stopped when Hizashi gives him a light shake. They’ve made it all the way to the men’s section of the clothing store and to be honest, Shouto is actually impressed by how little of the journey he processed.  
“Well, here we are kiddo-” Hizashi gestures over the selection of clothing like a ringmaster at the circus- “Go mad, choose whatever the hell you want, and feel free to ask if you want some help.”  
Shouto takes a moment to look over the clothing and try to figure out some sort of strategy. Shouto’s never really considered the clothes he wears before, he always just picked out the clothes he thought would piss off his Father the least but Hizashi says that his wardrobe is ridiculously plain for a teenage boy. In short, Shouto has no idea where to start.
He looks over to Hizashi who’s dressed in civvies for the shops. By now Shouto can recognise that Hizashi has a fairly distinct and unique style today, for example, he’s got sparkly leggings in colours that make his legs look like mermaid scales, a denim, halter neck crop top that leaves his back exposed, and his typical black leather jacket to cover up. Shouta always calls Hizashi’s style tacky but Shouto can’t deny that he really likes shiny things.
He starts to move through the aisles of clothing so Hizashi doesn’t get too concerned with him. He doesn’t think he really has the confidence to wear something as outgoing as what Hizashi’s wearing and he already draws enough attention as it is with his appearance. Not to mention how difficult it is to find outfits that match a candy cane coloured palette.
Hizashi must have noticed his hesitance because he calls out to him, “Just pick out anything that catches your eye for now. You can worry about whether it looks good later.”
The logic is perfectly sound, it’s just that Shouto’s brain won’t execute it. There are definitely items he thinks, ‘Wow, that looks nice,” but his thoughts insist on spiralling down a path of, ‘Oh it’s too bright,’ ‘It’s too flashy,’ and, ‘Something like that will never look good on me.’ He’s so used to wearing conservative clothes that he doesn’t even know how to shop for anything else at this point.
He can feel himself starting to get worked up when suddenly there’s a warm presence at his back, “Hey kiddo, it’s okay. Just take a big breath now.” Shouto follows through on the suggestion trying to let the tension out of his muscles the way Hizashi and Shouta had taught him. “Alright, how about you just show me the clothes you like and I’ll grab ‘em so you don’t have to think to hard about it,”
Shouto nods and goes back to looking at the clothes. It turns out when Hizashi said ‘show me,’ he wasn’t actually expecting Shouto to physically do anything, he just grabs everything Shouto looks at for more than a second. The collection they’ve racked up is of stuff Shouto would never have the confidence to buy of his own and he’s a little nervous to try it on. It does make him feel better if he thinks of it as Hizashi wanting him to try on the clothes.
The first thing he tries is a pale pink jumper that has a little-embroidered strawberry over the breast. Shouto thinks it looks soft and the colour is one of the few that probably suits him, but he’s hesitant because he’s worried what people will think of a boy wearing pink. He just stands and stares in the mirror for a little while before he finally works up the courage to go show Hizashi.
As soon as he steps out, looking down to hide his face, he hears quiet applause. When he looks up Hizashi is grinning like a maniac as he claps and Shouto can’t help but look at him wide-eyed.
“Y… You like it…?” Shouto can feel himself blushing.
Hizashi jumps up from where he was sitting, “Are you kidding me, kid?! I love it!”
Shouto winces a little at his volume, but he’s starting to get used to Hizashi’s naturally loud tones, he’s just worried about attracting too much attention from others.
“Do you really like it?” Shouto can’t help but make sure, “It’s not too… outgoing?”
Hizashi’s face softens at that and he steps forward to hold Shouto by the shoulders, “It is a bit outgoing, but that’s not a bad thing Shouto. You look great and I promise you other people are only going to think the same thing.”
Shouto bites his lip and looks away but Hizashi gently pulls eyes back to his, “It’s okay if you’re still a bit apprehensive. These things take time. But I promise, no one’s going to be upset with you,” Hizashi gives him a mischievous smirk, “and you will never look worse then I do on a daily basis.”
Shouto can’t help but chuckle a bit at that, “I don’t think you look so bad, you can pull off anything.”
Hizashi gives him a soft pat on the shoulder, “Well you know, the secret to pulling off anything has nothing to do with how you look, it’s about having the confidence to wear it.”
He musters up a small smile for Hizashi, “I’ll try and do my best.”
Hizashi grins at him and heads back to his seat, “Well? You ready to try on the rest?”
Shouto just nods at him and heads back into the dressing room filled with a feeling more akin to excitement instead of nerves.
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