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wackyrumble · 11 months

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Mort v.s. Roommate

Mort - All Hail King Julien

Mort, despite appearances, is an incredibly old interdimensional being who has been married 12 times and has grandchildren. He's part starfish and has grown his head back once. Mort has the ability to absorb souls, including versions of himself and his grandma. He also has a foot fetish. Read amount more about Mort below.

Roommate - Diary of a Tourney Kid

A clone of Adam Ruins Everything that came out wrong. He debunks things in the same way as his original, but completely incorrectly. Bill Cipher turned him into a hand puppet and fused him with a clone of another character. Fought Walter White and his evil shadow self, Walter Black. Read more about Roommate below.

Full description of Mort:

"I doubt I'm the only one submitting him because it has become a meme but I might be the only one who has seen the entire show many many times so I will give a full rundown about the pure beautiful insanity that is AHKJ Mort.

Ok so I'll give the context for how he came to be the way he is. In the movie Madagascar there is a joke about Mort being too close to King Julien's feet. In that scene it is framed that King Julien just doesn't like Mort. But the show The Penguins of Madagascar (TPOM) took that joke and made an episode called Two Feet High and Rising about how Mort loves King Julien's feet and is exiled for not being able to stop himself from touching them. Pretty weird stuff but it's nothing compared to what comes later. For the rest of TPOM Mort loving King Julien's feet is a constant thing. It's like his main characteristic and you almost forget how weird it is. It's just like yeah that's Mort he loves feet *shrug* But other than that he's like a little kid and is generally cute. But now we get to All Hail King Julien and OH BOY things go insane in that show in the best ways. I'll probably submit multiple characters from it just because there's so much weird there.

So here's the meat of this essay I'm apparently writing here, the weird of AHKJ Mort.

He is a interdimensional being capable of absorbing alternate versions of himself. Those versions of himself are able to talk to him as voices in his head which he sometimes sees as appearing in front of him. The inside of his mind is a bunch of hallways with those versions running around and they are capable of taking control of him in various situations. When he drinks coffee Smart Mort takes over. When he drinks Tea Hippie Mort takes over and at one point Political Mort beats up the other Morts inside his head to take control so he could win the election for Prime Minister of Mangos. He also absorbed his grandmother and didn't remember doing that. In the actual show he absorbed his grandfather who tried to convince him to kill King Julien because King Juliens great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandfather locked him up when Mort was a baby. Oh and that gets into the age thing. Yeah Mort is absurdly old and it's a running joke that he looks like a kid but is actually very old. There was also an alternate version of him called Morticus Khan who was the leader of the Mort Horde and Mort defeated him by absorbing his essence. At one point he states that he had been married 12 times and most of his wives died of old age. He also says at one point that he hasn't laid an egg in 40 years and even then the thing he hatched was really gross. Another time he mentions having grandchildren and when Maurice asks "You have grandchildren" he shoots webs out of his wrists and shouts "WHAT!? Did they escape? Don't let them find me!". Yeah we are still talking about the cute little lemur from Madagascar. There's also a scene where he finds a wardrobe that leads into the real world and it goes live action for a few seconds before he turns around and goes back. He also tried to murder a dude for a while. This other kingdom took over and Mort tries to shoot him with a crossbow, poison him and crush him with a rock. None of these attempts are successful. He also seriously disfigures a character named Rob McTodd who had had too much plastic surgery done (yes this is a real plotline for the lemur characters lol) Mort jumped on his face and messed it up and then he comes back in a phantom of the opera storyline. He also mentions at one point that he's part starfish and grew his head back once.

So that's how having a foot fetish is somehow no longer the weirdest thing about this character. That's still a thing too though. He had a box that he said he's going to put King Julien's feet inside when he dies. They played real life Monopoly and was winning so much that everyone else was starving and he tried to use having all the money to extort King Julien into letting him go on a date with his foot. (It was like a candlelit table with Mort on one and and Julien's foot up on a pillow at the other end. Julien immediately changed his mine and left lol)

Now I wanna go on about how exactly we got here lol. The whole absorbing thing started with Smart Mort. The idea that he got smart when he drank coffee was established at the end of season 1. Then in season 2 episode 4 Pineapple of my Eye King Julien is weirdly obsessed with a pineapple because he thinks it has the souls of his ancestors inside. Mort is seeing it speak to him and mock him as well as other voices in his head including a weirdly aggressive violent one who wants to burn the kingdom to the ground. The idea of him being way older is first just when King Julien kicks him and people think he kicked a baby and he says "That wasn't a baby it was an annoying little weirdo" but the first time it's more of a real thing is in an episode where King Julien wants a son so Mort paints his tail striped and pretends and King Julien seems convinced by it and is like super into it. And then at the end Mort confesses and King Julien already knew and said "It's Mort I mean come on he could be my father!" and so then in another episode he calls another character Hector whos whole thing is that he's a grumpy old war veteran "grandpa" mockingly and Hector says "You're older than I am Mort" The voices thing also continues and goes from just being Mort moving back and forth into different positions when the voices talk to actually seeing multiple Morts on screen talk to each other and then we get the whole Morticus Khan and the Mort Horde thing which is where the absorbing souls thing is revealed. And then he goes into his own mind and meets his grandmother who reveals that he absorbed her and then all the the stuff about the 12 wives and the laying an egg and the grandchildren are from the last season when we've reached maximum crazy mode.

That's how this show works with basically everything. There will be a joke or a plot of an episode which is a little weird. It gets called back and becomes a little weirder. It then becomes a running joke and then gets weirder and weirder every time it comes back. I love this show so much. I know this got a little redundant but I love explaining how this all built up over the show with how they kept adding those weirdness layers as it went lol I mostly wrote all this from memory except to get the number of greats that Mort's grandpa said correct shakfdsahflk I have seen this show too many times

If you hadn't seen any of the memeing about Mort's wikipedia page and so this is all news to you I hope reading this was fun for you lol"

Full description of Roommate:

"OK OK OK SO LIKE. HE'S FROM THIS MASHUP TOURNAMENT HOSTED ON SOUNDCLOUD & DISCORD CALLED "DIARY OF A TOURNEY KID, RIGHT? YES, IT IS BASED OFF OF DIARY OF A WIMPY KID IN NAME, THEMING, AND A BUNCH OF THE CHARACTERS IN IT. AND YES, THE ENTIRE PREMISE WAS STARTED BY GREG HEFFLEY TRAPPING A BUNCH OF PEOPLE IN THE DIARY. LOOK. OKAY. THAT ISN'T THE POINT HERE. (including a few real people but. roommate isn't one of those real people, LOL)

so Roommate is, like, a WEIRD case. he's a clone of a TV personality version of a real guy(adam conover specifically the whole thing he does in, like, adam ruins everything), but is SPECIFICALLY STATED TO BE A SEPERATE CHARACTER IN LORE. LIKE. HES A WHOLE OTHER GUY. HE DOESNT EVEN ACT LIKE HIM. HES LIKE. THE SCOOBY DOO VILLAIN EQUIVALENT OF A MAN. all he does is run around and "Debunk" shit but hes getting it all totally WRONG. It's like, if someone who never watched adam ruins everything before took one look at its name, the blonde, glasses wearing combover having guy on the cover, and went. "oh, this guy is gonna be HORRIBLE, isnt he". and in the shows case thatd be wrong but in roommate's case, he's...he's so pathetic. he's not even the same guy at this point. (and also literally isn't. but)

He never even manages to intimidate anyone even once. not even mr beast and ninja fortnite, (part of a team called Dubious Duo) who he just. VERY much annoyed via "ruining" twitch. He also got turned into a meaty handpuppet and fused to another clone of a different character by BILL CIPHER, of all characters but then immediately fell into a hole. He got his shit beaten out of him by a 19 year old punk catboy JUST before this, too. the punk catboys name is Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart BUT HE IS IN NO WAY RELATED TO THE REAL GUY. HES LITERALLY JUST. SOME RANDOM TEENAGER.

Also, extra fun facts about him include: during an event that happened on the discord, he canonically went ":3". He made his own ytp and posted it on the soundcloud account, too. he put a bunch of goofy wacky cartoon sounds in it. (his mashups use these sounds a lot outside of the ytp, too.) (incase you REALLY wanted to hear the ytp, though. here it is: https://soundcloud.com/doatk/ytpmv-02?in=doatk/sets/bonus )

P.S: extra information from a friend because they like to infodump this sort of thing & this isn't nescessary at all. but: He gets the fandom nickname of "Roommate" from his connection to Collegehumor & the Insane Clown Posse song In My Room, which he used in the tournament & is strongly associated with. He's so. He's so normal.

(P.S, P.S: THE IMAGE I SENT WITH THIS IS TECHNICALLY ART OF HIM FROM A CROSSOVER WITH ANOTHER SOUNDCLOUD TOURNAMENT THAT HAPPENED. BUT. its the best render i have that isnt done in like. ms paint LOL. IN SAID CROSSOVER (WITH A TOURNAMENT CALLED "THE PERFECT TOURNAMENT") HE ALSO FOUGHT WALTER WHITE AND HIS. EVIL SHADOW SELF, CALLED WALTER BLACK. WHO WAS LITERALLY HIS SHADOW.)

also: nobody in the fandom knows what his deal is, either. they literally just couldnt catch the real adam conover at first so they (In canon) just went "well! time to make a clone, i guess!" and then he came out WRONG."

#mort #all hail king julien #roommate #diary of a tourney kid #wacky round 2a

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343guiltyshark · 7 months

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hello shark. my biggest hyperfication a few years ago was the (penguins part of the) madagascar series. boy was I excited when netflix made an original show all about the lemurs that was animated like the movies and everything.

boy was it so weird

so I don't know how much you know about the little brown one, mort, he is obsessed with king julien's feet and in all apparences before this show, was just a weird comic relief/heel. He was very dumb and foot obsessed and that was the joke

then came the show All Hail King Julien

Mort is centuries old. Mort sometimes disassociates between personalities or "different Morts" inside his head, one of them being his grandmother who knows secrets to the universe. If Mort drinks coffee, Smart Mort takes over his body and suddenly he speaks with a trans-atlantic acent and knows literally everything. Mort's brain is actually a pocket universe where several deranged Morts lay relatively dormant for most of the show, until the Apoclypse happens and Mort has to go inside his own head to fight them back from clawing their way out into the world. He then has to fight his grandma Mort to the death in this head pocket universe.

An inventor man on the island creates a cloning machine, but it turns out that it is not cloning people, it is bringing in versions of them from alternate dimensions. Morts come out of it. Apparently there is one single dimension that is solely populated by Morts. at this point in the show, they are all referred to as Morts, he may be a lemur but he is his own species now. The Mort dimensions is lead by a Mort who is a Ghangis Kahn parody, Morticus Kahn. He leads every mort in the dimension like they are a hive mind.

So much shit happens in this show like penguins of madagascar was just about silly ninja secret agent penguins doing weird stuff. All Hail King Julien starts off as a funny, raunchy-humored at times show that is both more childish than it's successor, but takes on really weirdly complex themes for a show like this. The first season is like LOL JULIENS DUMBBB LETS DANCE TO EDM ALL DAY YAYYYY and the rest is about how mort is god and death and hell incarnate

I have never seen anyone talk about this and it lives with me forever because What The Hell Was I Watching??? I don't even know if you know anything about Madagascar but I saw you mention the lemurs and this happened.

this show put lemurs in my head

well I watched the Madagascar movies as a kid & I quite enjoyed the penguins (i have been kin assigned kowalski many times in the past). and I have heard whispers of mort’s dark truths. but this is wonderful information to have you are truly feeding my brain on this wonderful night. thank you

#ask

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i-eat-cars-and-berriesss · 2 years

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Hello, welcome to my blog! My name is primarily KD, but I also go by Kaciro. I'm an Indo-Caribbean, who is straying from labels rn but I identify as a bisexual. Somewhere, somewhere I'm on the ace spectrum. I'm here and I have sporadic, chaotic interests. I love my dog, that is the first thing you oughta know about me!!! Oh, and sometimes I touch on my culture and roots. Everyone probably knows me for my unhinged, decent posts + incorrect quotes but I'll try to keep this more generalized. but you def will catch me straying into specific fandoms (like Disney). 💫 Pronouns: She/Them but Fae/Faer will do too. 🍄 My Carrd (finally!!!) 🍁 I have tons of things that I’m associated with as a multifandom lover. I have improved this blog from before/can interact better, so I'm proud of that. ALSO, Send me asks for fun lmao

(Btw I love the color blue💕💕, if you can, ask why)

🚶🏽‍♀️👈Get thee gone from my gate, thou jail-crow of Mandos if you are a (DNI List):

Dream stan

Boyfriends stan

Homophobe, transphobe, biphobe, panphobe, aphobe, or lesbophobe (or queerphobe in general!!)

A terf

Truscum/transmed

Racist

Pro-endosystem

Pedo/MAP

Xenophobe/don't support xenogenders and neopronouns

Anti-religious/have prejudice against any religions

Pro-religion/obsessed with it

Sexist (misogynist/support misandry)

Ableist

⚡️Fandoms⚡️:

FNAF (yes, the entire franchise)

Bendy & the Ink Machine (my childhood!)

Incorrect quotes (is that a fandom? idk)

Classical and modern literature

TF2 (im a gaymer)

Mandela Catalogue

The fandom of "Liking fictional and irl people (Con O’Neill, Henry Cavill, and Peter Steele)" (not really romantic)

PoTO

MXTX/Danmei

Baki the Grappler

Ancient Greek Mythology

TSOA

AHKJ/Madagascar

Horseland

Bluey

PJO

Nimona

Warriors (Erin Hunter)

HTF

LotR (Tolkien's writing in general actually)

OFMD (out of that era but relevant?)?

Aesthetics/Stimboards

Dnd/Fantasy

JJBA (part 3)

MTV Downtown

Hatfield & McCoys

Encanto (2021)

Bollywood (my heritage, bby)

Fanfiction (mine mostly)

Dead Dove fics/very angsty fics

Memes

Disorganization of Shrek!! (he is love he is life, he is everything)

Some opinions

Mostly shitposting and reblogging

Rambling

✨Occasional fandoms that are not a main focus✨:

Paleontology

AoT

Courage the Cowardly Dog

TWD

WoF (Tui Sutherland's works)

Avatar: the Last Airbender

Avatar (James Cameron)

DHMIS

TMA

Marvel & DC

Winx Club

King of the Hill

Clone High

Rivals of Aether (Lovers of Aether)

MLP

Miraculous Ladybug

Xenofiction (Ice Age, The Lion King 1994-ish stuff)

Genshin Impact

Writing (my own writing, sometimes horribly-made smut)

Sally Face

Animals (dogs specifically)

Star Wars

South Park

WwdiD

DoaWK

Rick and Morty

Lemon Demon

Vivziepop’s series (sometimes, i used to be huge fan)

Tokyo Revengers (eh)

Always Sunny in Philadelphia

House of Wax/Slashers

Night in the Woods

Bojack Horseman

Monster Prom

💦Who I would simp for (if I can admit) :

Lan WangJi from Mo Dao Zu Shi

Sauron from Tolkien's Works

Asterius from Hades (2018)

Izzy Hands from Our Flag Means Death

Red Guy from Don't Hug Me I'm Scared

Zeke Yeager from Attack on Titan

Gabriel from The Mandela Catalogue

Kakyoin Noriaki from Jojo's Bizarre Adventures: Stardust Crusaders

Kaeya Alberich from Genshin Impact

Lisa from Genshin Impact

Glamrock Foxy from Five Nights at Freddy's: SB

Godrick the Grafted from Elden Ring

Death from Puss in Boots: The Last Wish

Miguel O'Hara (Spider-man)

🍪Comfort Characters:

Simba from the Lion King

Ballister Boldheart from Nimona

Mort Mordecai from Madagascar

Bonnie from Five Nights at Freddy's

ahhh, this is crigne but know that LWJ 🐰 and Sauron 🌋 came before any other of my blorbos lol. i do write time to time, so read those snippets on my ao3! now enjoy yourself, running thru my blog! enjoy this bullshitery and have a good day!

Also, new and better ao3 account with my Hae~ and pinterest and twitter 🌸

Update: keeping to myself to finish fanfic projects I’ve started. I've been simping real hard for a stoner, so I may be a furry... sorry not sorry about liking the freaky bastard Godrick tho. also getting back into reading and picked up danmei. Good luck to me.

#intro post #blog intro #frivolity fricking frack #lolololol #hehe :3 #this is my contribution #i have a lot of rewatching to do for my fanfucs #help lol #i dont consume the media #not the official version mostly #ummm anyways #i also like the cure #and msi #masterpost #sapphic pride #revising this every time

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the-firebird69 · 1 month

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Seal - Crazy (Official Music Video) [HD]

youtube

We're not fighting those on the ships yet but we would be shortly and we do see it that's how the empire takes stuff and he says it this is what they're going to do and our foreigners don't really like this too much and we will be fighting pseudo empire so we're not really sure what the foreigners are going to do it looks like we do end up getting dragged into the fight and they were all fighting them including Stan and it is a big fight but not that big our friend says and it's true and it's in movies if it's not this gigantic fight and it's true the pseudo empire is getting smaller and real soon it's going to be a lot smaller by area and the size of their army and both sides are going to disappear I feel it is glorious fight to try and get rid of our race that's what's going to turn into and he said that the empire is taking over areas we had to fight him on it and foreigners too they don't necessarily what the empire to take over the islands but the foreigners don't want us there in Africa we are Shunned. Then again everyone is so hard to see you what's up to but they don't want Madagascar is not true they don't want the empire to have it but when you're stuck in the middle like in the Ukraine you end up getting hammered by both sides and that's what's happening there so we do see that that's an example. And I think I know what I was thinking about it's the same thing as Becca and it's crazy I have to try and use creatures and it's going to be hell

Seal AKA Garth and kiss by the rose from the grave would be the order of the Rose

Here's what it's like we're fighting each other and it's wrong and we're going to disappear and it's terrible and we don't have much time we do understand it's wrong and we can't stop it

Mike tew

And it was kind of a weird thing to do but really this is terrible I don't think that they don't complain this to happen from our side and you guys are horrible for not fixing things and bja you're a nutcase and you're wrong and everybody knows it but you things are going very badly these guys are killing each other and it's going after all of my army with poor army it was and I won't have anything left and my little nephew is in a war with a humongous Force that I've been fighting my whole life and he needs assistance and you guys are not doing it and he is called and called now it's going to use you in theatrical roles this is what you like doing anyways to expose stuff to have people stop the max and I guess I'm going to have to do that I've done it before and it works and yeah we ran the circus because of stuff like this and he's doing the job and but he needs funding so he can move around and I suppose that will come after you warlock get kicked out and I see it now you get beat up by us in the tunnels you probably involve the clones and we push them out and you get pushed out something like that you get really poor in California and places like that and you're fighting us to get off your Islands pretty much you won't and you somehow enlist minority more along and begin fighting them but you still can't get him out but the minority morlock would for some reason engage us. We here we're still at about 7 billion you don't lose a ton of people on the attacks of bunkers but we need a place to go and these areas like Florida are not really that huge and we probably pick New Zealand and they say people are taking it over and they're not and we will take over we think that the minority morlocks might hang up on Australia they do it from Asia because they're trying to take over there shipping and other they do it to the other Islands too that makes sense and that would happen before we get involved but that makes sense that we push the ship out and you would be pushed out and you would have a war trying to get here and you go elsewhere and start in with your minority warlock because we'd let you go there and you'd start trouble and you'd have both parties trying to move him from here because it'll be our headquarters sort of and we'd have a couple superpowers three superpowers kind of in a lock of sorts and it would be like New England and that's what I set up there.

So then you're going to try and get j out like you were in New England and you send for the coach so a really big car it's a small car and it's like a small SUV but those things can move out and they can fit stuff in them and he tries to start businesses I think with Ken and Ken doesn't want to do anything eventually I think he starts doing this balloon thing and we think that you abandoned though you abandoned the place the car repair shop and I think I take it over and they pay renter and he says no probably just work there I see what you're saying this show up and gets the keys somehow and pays the electric bill when I'm starting to say please might show up that way and he'll take it over and can't pay rent and start a business up we make pennies on the dollar and I get that so it's probably the process of trying to take over the property for rent's little part of it and there is a side part that might work more easily and he'll be driving up and it'll be the same old crew and we'll be fighting the clones still and it's their area kind of and that really makes sense it's got this little car and he deliver balloons all over the place for cash and ken has this idea it's kind of a Shriner. You think that they attack these Shriners and that they set them up to look like one

Mac daddy

Assinine

Olympus

Hahaha his comments back are employee it's so hard to be a spy out here LOL it's not really making it harder but it's funny

Mac daddy

To begin the attacks of the shrine is shortly to get some support from them

And yeah we're getting ready now

Thor Freya

#Youtube

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dixieconley · 3 months

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Penguins of Madagascar in Star Wars

:::Penguins suddenly finding themselves on Coruscant:: Skipper: Okay, so where are we, what's happening and where can we find a case of Cheezy Dibbles? Kowalski: Judging by the architecture, variance in body type and multi-level traffic, it appears we are on Coruscant. Given the number of identical armored soldiers, we seem to arrived during the Clone Wars. Private: Ooh, ooh! We can stop the war and save everyone! Skipper: Slow your roll, Private. Prioritize! We need to focus on what's really important. Kowalski! What's our nearest source of lightsabers? Kowalski: That would be the Senate dome, sir. Chancellor Palpatine is in possession of two. Skipper: Let's go! Private: B-Bu-but....

::Not too much later:: Palpatine: Waterfowl?! ::pushing his comm button:: Commander! Get in here! I need you to take care of some intruders! Fox: ::muffled:: Yes, sir. On my way. Skipper: Rico, Kowalski! Find me some lightsabers! Private: Skipper, what can I do? Skipper: Do that thing I like. Private: ::sighs, makes funny face:: Skipper: That's my Private. Now where are we, Kowalski? Kowalski: ::ducking kick from Palpatine:: Sorry, sir. Distinct lack of lightsabers, sir. Skipper: ::on top of Palpatine's desk, fighting Palpatine hand-to-flipper:: Well, get on with it, soldier! We need those lightsabers! Private: ::opening drawer, finding lightsaber:: Sir, sir! Skipper: Not the time, Private! Private: ::picks up lightsaber:: Ooh, a button! ::Palpatine gets sabered through the heart and falls over on top of Skipper:: Skipper: The Dark Side! Rico! ::Rico and Private slide Palpatine off onto the floor:: Kowalski: ::secret compartment swinging open beside him:: Sir! I have a lightsaber! Skipper: Good work, Kowalski! You are a valued member of this team.

::five minutes later:: Fox: ::opening door to the Chancellor's office:: Sir? ::Penguins dashing around office hacking furniture apart with lit lightsabers, chancellor's body on the ground:: Skipper: The fuzz! Rico, I need an exit! Rico: ::cuts a hole in the window with a lightsaber:: ::Penguins escape out, parkouring through multiple levels of traffic on their way to the Jedi temple for more lightsabers:: Fox: … Fox: Maybe I *do* need to cut back on my caf intake.

::some time later, on the steps of the Jedi temple, each penguin with a lightsaber hanging at their side:: Skipper: Now for the next item on our list-- Private: Liberating the clone army and giving them rights! Skipper: No, Private. Jetpacks! Kowalski, location! Kowalski: The closest source of jetpacks would be the clone army, sir. If we stow away on one of their transport shuttles, we can reach their main ships where they would be located. Skipper: Good work, Kowalski!

From there, depending on which ship they ended up on:

::with the 212th:: ::Cody and Obi-Wan watching the penguins jetting around, ARCs trying to chase them down.:: Obi-Wan: I have no idea what's going on right now. Do you? Cody: Clone Force 99 were due to arrive. It appears they may have run into some trouble. Obi-Wan: ...I'll contact the council.

::with the 501st:: Everyone: Wheeee!!! (Penguins and every trooper with a jetpack in the air zooming around) Ahsoka: What do we do, master? Anakin: ::running in:: Woohoo!! Ahsoka: Rex? Rex: ::facepalm::

::Pong Krell's battalion:: ::Penguins sneak in to steal jetpacks, but as they're making off with them, they get caught:: Krell: Waterfowl! Troopers-- Private: I pushed a button! Skipper: Private, stop fooling around. Private: ::disappointed:: Yes, sir. Krell: ::stumbles due to being lightsabered in the knee:: Troopers-- Private: I pushed another button! Krell: ::falls over dead, sabered through the head:: Clones: … Commander: What are your orders, General? Skipper: I like the cut of your jib, trooper! What's your name? Commander: Fallguy, sir. Skipper: Take us to your ship, Fallguy. We have a war to win! Private: But that was… that was my idea. Skipper: Oh, Private.

#penguins of madagascar #star wars #sw clone wars #star wars fanfiction #crack fic #sw fanfic #fix it fic

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100-yardstare · 8 months

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Self Insert & F/O List - Historical and Present

Under the cut...

Present Romantic F/O's

Piccolo - Dragon Ball

Shin - Dragon Ball

Dr. Eggman/Ivo Robotnik - Sonic

Ingo - Pokemon

Astarion - BG3

Past Romantic F/O's (meaning I am not currently crushing on them, but they are still my faves)

Blinky/Blinkous Galadrigal - Trollhunters

All Might - My Hero Academia

Dave the Octopus - Penguins of Madagascar

King Candy/Turbo/King Candybug - Wreck-It Ralph

Optimus Prime - Transformers

Stanford Pines - Gravity Falls

General Grievous - Star Wars

Self Inserts

Atomic Ace (My Hero Academia) - Quirk "Adrenaline". Adrenaline gives her super strength, speed, and overall massive power. After many years she finally reached America's Number 1 Hero in her late 20's, only to lose it months later due to her quirk taking a toll on her body. In her youth, she hung out with All Might and David Shield during Toshi's American tour. All Might and AA both were in love with each other but were to focused on becoming hero's to admit it to one another. That is until AA comes to Japan years later during the show's events.

Kailey "Kat" Terranova (Metroid) - Kat is the Director of Development for Galactic Federation Space Research Station Number 2. In charge of keeping tabs with both the research team and Federation investors, Kat has been working with head scientist Steven Wheatfield to bring to light the transcendence of human minds into Artificial Intelligence. Unfortunately, things go wrong when the base is attacked by Ridley and the Space Pirates, and over the course of the Metroid franchise she becomes their unwilling genetically modified test subject.

Kat (Dragon Ball) - Out of rebellion runs away from home and her scammy father, and begins a life of crime after meeting Launch. Her awry ways quickly come to and end when Launch goes missing, and upon finding her meets Kid Goku and friends. However, she is often confronted with oddly familiar strangers after offering kindness to an old man of the same domineer, who are all Kami in disguise. Years later, her father finds her, and brings her back into his false promises. During their visit to the city, he is killed by King Piccolo, ironically freeing her of more torment, but cementing her connection with future Piccolo.

Kailey (Pokemon) - Owns a farm in west Unova. During her back and forth to the city after establishing her farm, news of one of the Submas brothers going missing is hard to miss. Little does she know that Arceus is about to use her, too, and soon she will cross fates with Ingo, the missing twin.

The Vulture (Spiderverse) - With her father abandoning her and her sickly mother, a new variant of the Vulture is soon to be added to the Spiderverse. Oscorp, having been experimenting on the poor population of the city, the Vulture is born with large brown wings as a result of her parents exposure to genetic mutagens. While her mother regards her as beautiful, society rejects her, burying her more into poverty. Ultimately, the illness takes her mother, and she seeks revenge on Oscorp and its hedge-funders.

Sarai Daan (Star Wars) - Sarai is a Togruta Jedi Knight and a survivor of the Clone Wars.

Kelda the Wild aka The Skrill Princess (How to Train Your Dragon) - A former hunter-trapper, Kelda once looked up to bounty hunters like Grimmel the Grisly during their youth and sought to appease her starving guild. However, her heart soon pulled her away from that life, and she would abandon all she knew to fight for the dragons, specifically a mother Skrill who left two children behind after she was killed by Grimmel.

Kat/Kailey/Kaleen/etc. (WoW, BG3, DnD, General Fantasy, etc.) - Always a Cleric with light or fire affinities, and always an Elf. Knowledgeable in Apologetics and religious texts of their god/gods and even other gods of their universe, and has a chaotic good alignment.

Guardian of Comfort (Rise of the Guardians/Guardians of Childhood) - Is the guardian of comfort and spirit of warmth and acceptance. Based on "comfort and joy" in the Christmas tune, she has fire abilities and is associated with candlelight. As a human, she died in a fire protecting the ones she loved, and was chosen by Man in Moon, to continue to provide her comforting presence to lost and despairing children all over the world.

Kailey (Sonic verse) - Specific universe will differ, but she is a human and usually a test pilot with aspirations to have a "lazy girl job". Very gifted but seen as a slacker to her co-workers, but never seems to get fired due to her working smart-not-hard work ethic. For more laid back universes, she has finally achieved this goal, and has an easy life with a garden.

#yooo look I'm finally making a new insert and f/o list!!!#also i've logged into computer tumblr for the first time since this shitty update and it BLOWS #anyway i'm back into my creative mood so send me asks about these please i may need help brain storming and elaborating #kailey speaks #f/o community #self ship #self insert

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dreambook06 · 9 months

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Dream from: January 2017

kinda reiterating what i said last time, but one of the best feelings/sensations ever is when i wake up in the morning after a good night’s sleep, still in a sleepy haze, maybe i had a good dream (if i end up remembering it. oh yeah i just remembered last nights… it was our 2006 disneyland vacation but it wasn’t… it was so bizarre way too hard to explain. it had many aspects of other dreams i’ve had that i thought i’d forgotten until now. reoccurring characters and locations and stuff. basically i was recording with the camcorder through the rides but it was this whole other world nothing like real life and all the rides were just off and unreality and aaahh. then the target store and the toys there were kinda timeless and i was walking through there with this person who was in my other dreams. they are some kind of unreal version of babyblanket2001 from a dream at least a year ago. btw i was basically my 6-year-old self the whole time or i was no one really. there were so many more deep things than this! then i got these earth balance macaroni and cheese from the top shelf at target and then there was this huge building. btw the macaroni was character shaped like the penguins from madagascar 2 for some reason. and then ‘babyblanket2001’ and some other person were on the top of the building and i handed them the macaroni and said look at this then i went back down etc etc. then the other person ended up throwing a knife and it went through their shoulder what the heck! it is so different in the dream, how it went down, trust me. then etc etc.

i’m on a ride front seat guy says not to record, then the ride keeps going and it’s like a toboggan sled ride and we’re on the middle of nowhere in the snow or sidewalk or something and then mom cuts the cheese and i’m lik you know there are other people on this ride then she looks behind her and me and pilar roll off behind the sled this all these craks open in in the ground and apparently there are all these other characters who are detailed and deep who we’ve befriended along the way and one kid falls in and this is basically exactly like a previous dream i’ve had… etc. then they try to get him out and apparently now it’s set at a huge house where they’re set up stuff to try to get him out and SO MUCH AAAHH. and there are lots of people and they’re in allthe rooms having a sleepover and stuff and one guy’s like is anybody going to help me get them out! etc.etc. then it’s like paige’s house but it’s not idk it’s like a mix of houses i’ve seen on smugmug.com and there are all these fun unexplainable rooms and in every room there are people doing stuff and aaahhhh and then there’s a basement and it’s like mason’s old basement in real life…etc. whatever irrelevant aaahh so much stufff then one of the last things minus so much i left out because it’s too overwhelming, is dad gets mad about something to do with teeth like he’s sick of saving our teeth so he gets all angry and goes in his bedroom and takes the tooth case and throws the teeth all over the bed one by one. when he’s done i go in there and carefully try to collect them all and put them back and i clone them so i have a copy for myself if he throws them away next time. then he sees i photo i took on my camera of all the teeth in a pile and i don’t remember his reaction but i actually did take a picture of them in real life a few weeks ago. etc etc..

then i woke up, the last thought on my mind were the jc syd sleepover, remembering the layout of the house and jaycey’s bedroom, and here i am, ready to write about it now. just kidding i got demotivated again, this took too long to write (5 mins), and the magic of waking up grogginess has subsided), but there’s just this feeling i temporarily get, that very quickly comes and goes, for a few minutes at most, in the mornings, maybe i stand up or walk down the hall, maybe there’s idle noise in the background from outside, but something about this little haze makes me briefly forget , just barely, who i currently am and what year it is. for those tiny moments, it almost feels like it’s 2008 again. like it’s 2007 again. i feel as if i’m still in those better years for just a short while, and i remember very clearly what it was like to be alive and living in those moments. suddenly it’s as if 2011 and beyond has never taken place yet and here i am. 7-8-9- years old. it never has a pre-2007 feeling though. i don’t think i’ll be able to ever feel that again in real life. i REMEMBER how it felt, but i can never feel it truly again, i don’t think.

#2017

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terrideluxe · 2 years

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Level 6 guess the movie answers

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hi guess the movie level 5 answers (48).hi guess the movie answers level 5 (73).Spoiled by their upbringing with no idea what wild life is really like, four animals from New York Central Zoo escape, unwittingly assisted by four absconding penguins, and find themselves in Madagascar, among a bunch of merry lemurs Incoming search terms: She lived with her father and mother at the edge of a village, and often visited her grandmother on the other side of the woods… Madagascar Once upon a time there was a little girl named Rotkaeppchen. Jurassic Parkĭuring a preview tour, a theme park suffers a major power breakdown that allows its cloned dinosaur exhibits to run amok. When a gigantic great white shark begins to menace the small island community of Amity, a police chief, a marine scientist and grizzled fisherman set out to stop it. In a world where technology exists to enter the human mind through dream invasion, a highly skilled thief is given a final chance at redemption which involves executing his toughest job to date: Inception. Set during the Ice Age, a sabertooth tiger, a sloth, and a wooly mammoth find a lost human infant, and they try to return him to his tribe. Three unemployed parapsychology professors set up shop as a unique ghost removal service. Fight ClubĪn insomniac office worker looking for a way to change his life crosses paths with a devil-may-care soap maker and they form an underground fight club that evolves into something much, much more… Ghostbusters Face/OffĪ revolutionary medical technique allows an undercover agent to take the physical appearance of a major criminal and infiltrate his organization. Edward ScissorhandsĪn uncommonly gentle young man, who happens to have scissors for hands, falls in love with a beautiful teenage girl. Three women, detectives with a mysterious boss, retrieve stolen voice-ID software, using martial arts, tech skills, and sex appeal DaredevilĪ man blinded by toxic waste which also enhanced his remaining senses fights crime as an acrobatic martial arts superhero. Breakfast at Tiffany’sĪ young New York socialite becomes interested in a young man who has moved into her apartment building. Blood DiamondĪ fisherman, a smuggler, and a syndicate of businessmen match wits over the possession of a priceless diamond. Emmett Brown, and must make sure his high-school-age parents unite in order to save his own existence. Back to the FutureĪ teenager is accidentally sent 30 years into the past in a time-traveling DeLorean invented by his friend, Dr. Ace VenturaĪ goofy detective specializing in animals goes in search of a missing dolphin mascot of a football team.

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Guess The Movie 4 Pics 1 Movie Answers and solutions Levels 1 to 50+ (500+ Answers) for Android, FaceBook, kindle & iPhone (iOS). Below you will be able to find all Guess the Movie Level 6.This game was developed by Applewood Apps LLC who have also developed the other popular game Celebrity Guess.

In the form below select your game level and we will show you the answer. A great game with tons of levels and attractive design for iPhone, iPad and Android devices. Guess the movie 4 pics 1 movie answers level 8 guess that movie game answers whats the cheat for guess movie soluce guess the movie guess the movie 4 pics 1 movie cheat guess the horror movie sur blackberry soluce guess the movie game pictures with answers 4 pics 1 movie 5 letter answers Hi guess the movie cheat letavd guess the movie. Complete Guess The Brand answers and solution for all levels. Let’s Guess Movie Answers: Level 1 – Level 20 | App …

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mudzdale · 3 years

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i'm rewriting the funny star wars lemur species bc, and NO disrespect to the writers/character designers at all, but imho the execution...... lacks.

apparently Lore took place on the lurmen's canon "home planet" so idk what i would need to switch around in my rewrite in relation to that but ultimately that planet should Not be their home environment. arctic and crystalline... that does not make me think Lemur. why would they have adapted like that to such an environment.

no. by my thinking, the lurmen homeworld is essentially Madagascar but an Entire Planet. it has a variety of biomes, mimicking the variety of the actual island, but its largely tropical all-around, with rainforests, temperate forests, bamboo groves, and even spiny deserts filled with hardy trees. some savannah biomes as well (in a nod to their clone wars debut).

lurmen themselves are variants reflecting the traits of real-world lemur species-- for example, there are lurmen equivalent to indris, to ringtails, to dwarf and bamboo lemurs. that said, however, there is also a LOT of crossbreeding between these variants--they are, after all, not separate animal species, but one whole people. as such, a great deal of lurmen are not directly equivalent to a real-world lemur species, but may express a variety of traits owing to two or more "species" variants, depending on their parentage.

this potential mix of traits contributes greatly to a culture of travel and interconnectedness that spans the entire planet over. for instance, a lurmen born into a spiny desert biome may, due to their biological heritage, prefer to live in a rainforest, where their fur naturally repels water and regulates their body temperature more efficiently. as a result, the population of a lurmen colony are largely determined by biological variation, and how inherently suited they are to a biome. however, there are also plenty of citizens who can afford to or prefer to ignore their home's natural clime! some lurmen choose to settle purely based on the people around them, rather than what works for their body. it's all very flexible

so there is a lot of migration that occurs all around the planet. the lurmen culture is wholly an environment where individuals physically leave their family and friends, while still remaining interconnected and, spiritually, part of their original social unit. individuals can live where they are born, or in a different biome that suits their body, or even spend their entire lives roaming from place to place across the planet.

their clothing is different than canon too. more consists of simple wrappings and robes, again depending on the clime of their environment. utilizes beautiful, colorful embroidery as most clothing's siganture. i..... see no reason for them to have those stupid hats. sandals, too, would be a regional thing--more common in the savannahs and deserts of the world. otherwise their dextrous, handlike feet go bare, to better navigate their environment.

the inexplicable scottish accents are hilarious though. they can keep those

#may 4 reminded me abt these guys..... and again no disrespect to the writers etc considering im maybe one of out 3 people in the world who #would. take issue with funny lemur alien that eats pacifism. but omg #gollydraws #star wars #lurmen #also the models r all girls bc based off most social lemurs their societies would most likely be matriarchal.... wag too and his father are #quite the outliers!#lemurposting

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gyllenhaalstories · 2 years

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Here's an idea - the Netflix show Is It Cake? - imagine that but it's called Is It Jake? And it's just various staged scenarios where Jake and Finsta Jake get switched.

OH YOU HAVE GOLD IN YOUR HANDS!!!! this will be a massive success i can feel it! you can do the casting, you already found one of his clones, i’m sure you’ll find a bunch more even if it’s on accident 😂 and the show is thriving so much they immediately sign for a second season in which Is It Jake is about all the character jake looks like. is it jake or is it alex the lion from madagascar? or woody from toys story? 👀

#a-little-counter-esperanto

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symphonic-scream · 4 years

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Next Generation - Part 2

So this is the second group of fankids, the group that discover the Magicats + the kid that features in their storyline the most

Catradora - Havara

So Havara's name is based on the Havana cat breed and Mara, which is Adora's nickname for her. Havana + Mara = Havara I guess

Havara is Adora and Catra's second child and youngest daughter. Her reference age is 17 and her birthday is February 7th

She is a magicat, with dark brown fur, hair, and tail. She has darker stripes on her cheeks, arms, back, and tail, with white tips on her ears and tail. Her finger and toe beans are a light brown and her eyes are both gold

Her hair is very thick and wavy, and she keeps it pretty long. It kinda looks like Catra's when it was longer, but Havara doesn't like it when it's a mess, so it looks well managed

She's just taller than Catra, which annoys her older sister Ari to no end

She likes to bundle up in clothes, so she wears layers of shirts and jackets, and owns a modified version of Adora's jacket without those shoulder pads with added black stripes. She wears a lot of whites, golds, browns, and bright reds

She's a little shit disturber who gets into trouble almost too easily. She gets frustrated really easily, and gets her anger out through brawling and fighting. She wants to train to be a warrior and go on as many adventures as possible. Her favourite babysitters were Glimmer and Sea Hawk

Glimbow - Gram

Gram's name comes from a legendary sword, and the metric measurement of mass

Gram is Glimmer and Bow's youngest child and his reference age is 17, and his birthday is November 6

Gram is a midtone between Now and Glimmer, with shimmery purple eyes and short, fluffy pink hair. He styles his hair to look like a cloud, and he has the same wing markings on his back as Glimmer, only his are a deep maroon. He's all gangly arms and legs, and about as clumsy and they come, and just about Bow's height

He likes to dress as formally as possible while still maximizing comfort. Sweater vests, crew neck sweaters and dress shirt combos, you name it. His prederred colours are oranges, purples, reds, and yellows

He learned some sorcery from his grandpa Micah when he was young, but read about alchemy in an old book in Mystacor and has been searching out more information on it in order to teach himself

Gram gets excited super easily and is fairly impulsive. He rushes into things under the belief that he'll just sort out what comes of it later. He gets really into debating, and acts as a diplomat for Brightmoon. His favourite babysitter was Perfuma

Seamista - Skipper "Skip"

So Skipper's name comes from the position on a ship, and also the penguin from Madagascar I guess, kinda??

Skip is Mermista and Sea Hawk's youngest child. His reference age is 17 and his birthday is July 1st

He's as dark as Mermista is, with Sea Hawk's eye shape coloured a light brown and wild dark blue hair. His hair is fairly long, long enough for him to pull it back into a messy ponytail held back by a red ribbon cut from Sea Hawk's bandana. He's only just taller than Mermista, but he seems taller thanks to his attitude

He loves to dress like the pirates he saw when he'd go on trips with his father as a child. Big, useless belts, flowy shirts, flat boots, and a deep blue jacket with a wave insignia on the back

He has no special powers, but has become extremely familiar with boats and sand surfers, ships used to travel the Crimson waste and the sandy parts of the Fright Zone that are still being repaired

He's a big ball of energy, and he never seems to slow down for anything. He does everything with a little bit of flair, a little sass, and a while lot of Salineas Style. He loves storytelling, and wants to write a big book of his own adventures one day. His favourite babysitter was Netossa

Entrapdak - Pascal

A a Pascal is the measurement of pressure, I believe? It's been a while though so don't take that to heart

Pascal is the second child of Entrapta and Hordak. They are non binary, their reference age is 16, and their birthday is July 13th

Pascal is mostly human looking, but their cheeks to their jaw is dark blue and they have the pointy clone ears. Their hair is a light purple and they keep it just below ear length, with it slicked back aside from two spiky little bang bits that frame their forehead. Their eyes are a solid purple colour

They're the same height as the Horde clones, but much thinner. They rarely stand at full height, as they're usually slouching

They wear plain, dark shirts under large grey overalls, and are rarely scene without their black lab jacket with their name engraved on the back in lavender. The jacket was a gift from their uncle Wrong Hordak

They have the ability to link their mind to someone else's, but only with the permission of the other party. They typically use it as a party line call for little missions or trips into the woods with the trio above. Pascal isn't always with their group, but they tag along the most out of anyone else

Pascal wants to know everything about the different cultures of the different Etherian kingdoms. They want to know the styles, the foods, the marriage customs, it all. Just loves being around other people and they're super excited whenever any of the other kids invites them to hang out or go on trips. Favourite babysitter was Scorpia

So here's the second batch of my fankids. Havara, Gram and Skip are the group that find the Magicats, and Pascal just joins them a lot. More kids coming soon. Let me know what y'all think of these four while you're here?

#shera #she ra #she ra future #spop future au #future au #future fic #fankids #she ra fankids #catradora #seamista #glow #glimbow #entraptdak #havara #gram #skip #skipper #pascal

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gwen-musings · 5 years

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Penguins of Madagascar - 1

Random quotes from random episodes. Feel free to edit pronouns/nouns as needed.

Remind me to swing back by here later to look for my lost dignity

We’re watching the leaves change!

Change into what?

I will not engage. I will not engage. I will not engage.

I say! Whatever are the gas masks for?

I pass no judgement on you lemurs and your sick deprived past times.

I just want to clone things.

I need results now!

[NAME], I am not having the best day and your abrasive results driven management style is not helping!

Oh why am I polka-dotted?

Down the mountain; it’s the quickest way to the ocean!

Yes, and technically falling off a building is the quickest way to the sidewalk.

Come on, Smart Guy, admit you’re delicious!

I have my gut, [NAME]. And my gut is always sure and true.

That looks suspiciously like a medieval torture device.

COME BACK HERE, [NAME]! TAKE IT LIKE A PENGUIN!

Prepare for punitive cuddles and hugs.

I just wanna hug him with my fist!

Is purple a vegetable?

Yeah I can’t work with this.

NO! I wasted the best years of my lonely, lonely life on these plans!

Humans are by nature lazy bums.

LET’S HEAR IT FOR GIBBERJABBER WOOOOOHOOO!

Ah closing time. Are there two sweeter words known to man or beast?

So wild...so free. Yet I know I could tame her.

[NAME], you sly dog.

We’re having fun. I order you to have fun.

What? I’m fluent in panic.

You’re more of a...glad scientist.

#rp starters #tpom #the penguins of madagascar #penguins of madagascar

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leporellian · 4 years

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how i got into opera (unabridged)

i realize i’ve never mentioned how i got into opera before and it’s like. it was a whole ass Odyssey and i really feel like confessing my sins today.

‘so how do you find a special interest’ watch this.

RIGHT so i actually was exposed to opera all the damn time as a baby because my grandmother thought, for some dumbass reason, that opera calms babies down. which she was apparently right so i’m not gonna debate that shit but has she ever been to an opera. literally every damn minute of the ring cycle could traumatize a baby. literally what the fuck. but that’s not where this story begins because i don’t remember ANY of that shit.

anyway so as a kid i was always on that bullshit with THESE fucking things

these were supposed to make your baby smart or something but they didn’t work because i have the processing speed of the fuckin Pony Express. but they were good. (except for the beethoven one, which terrified me. fuck beethoven.) they were like, soothing images/puppets/toys with a backdrop of classical music scored on a marimba, which was like CRACK COCAINE to an autistic kid like myself so i watched these until i was in 4th grade despite the box saying ‘for ages under 3′ which really shows you how ineffectual these were at actually making kids smart. now this was like, the opera gateway drug, because it buttered me up into liking opera/classical music, which is a CAPITAL Sin.

so by this point i already like classical music. unless it’s by beethoven because he freaked me the F u c k out. which is where...

PURRPALS FOR THE DS comes in

this game was literally a shameless nintendogs clone that was made to sell purina cat food. it was absolutely fucking bizarre. however i was a seven year old with a nintendo Dee Ess and toxoplasmosis gondii practically running in their Bloodstream i was on this shit like a hare in heat. but the important part of the gameplay was this guitar hero clone where you had to stage a fucking cat acapella group

it was easy as shit, being a badly designed game made for selling

PURINA

CAT

LITTER,

so i would immediately go to the hard levels, which were as follows.

- THE MAGIC FLUTE - RIGOLETTO - LA HABANERA - TORADOR

first of all these motherfuckers took one song from the magic flute and one song from rigoletto and said it was the WHOLE OPERA but THEY COULDN’T EVEN FIND A FOURTH OPERA SO THEY WENT WITH CARMEN TWICE. what WACKADOO Chicanery. also why the FUCK was rigoletto there it’s really the third wheel of this whole affair. anyway so since i played this shit regularly enough i was able to remember the song names, which, i had no idea what the fuck they were about but as a kid you never know what the fuck anything is about so i really was not bothered. i think i thought the magic flute was a ballet in the same cinematic universe as the Nut Crack Ker or something

anyway.

CHAPTER FOUR: THE FRESH BEAT BAND

I HATED THIS SHOW WITH EVERY CORE OF MY BEING. i don’t know WHY but i felt such extreme secondhand embarrassment when i saw this show at the ripe old age of seven that when the school’s music teacher, which was the same one that loudly declared her loyalty to Mitt Romney in class one day (which is a different but no less entertaining story) showed a clip of this to us it was the first time i realized nothing was stopping me from walking out of the school. (which i didn’t. because i was a pussy. but fuck this show.) there was some dumb ass episode where all of the characters were doing different music styles or whatever- i really wasn’t paying attention i was on the computer in the same room of the television looking up how much my littlest pet shop toys were worth on ebay- and then they start singing

LA FUCKIN HABANERA.

“i know that song!” i said, which sounds like joyful recognition, but in my head i was thinking something more akin to “WHAT THE FUCK THAT BITCH IS STEALING THE SONG FROM PURRPALS ON THE DS. LEARN YOUR COPYRIGHTS YOU HOE.” my parents immediately went ‘nah it has to have a different name’, which is when my ENTP really came out. i don’t believe in meyers-briggs but i got entp on the test and it basically means ‘stubborn little bastard who will start an argument with Literally Anyone” which is Kin Me Id. anyway i started being all ‘no i KNOW because PURRPALS on the DS told me’ so my parents were like ‘fine let’s just make the kid be quiet’ and looked it up on itunes. No Shit, i was right, because i knew my

PURRPALS

LORE.

so anyway my parents knew my grandmother was crazy batshit for opera, which my grandmother actually used to hate opera but then a friend of hers who liked opera killed herself and then she decided to listen and went ‘nah this is actually kinda a bop’, which again a whole nother story, so they immediately tell her that i know about opera. which i DIDN’T i just knew about PURRPALS on the DS. so now my grandmother decides “aight i’m taking the grandkid to carmen at the LYRIC OPERA HOUSE”.

i was seven and i didn’t know what ANY of those words MEANT. but my parents made me wear a dress and a purse so i figured it was an Occasion. (i filled the purse with nothing but goldfish crackers. they weren’t even in a ziploc baggie inside the bag i just dumped like half a carton of them directly into the purse.)

so anyway i liked watching carmen but it wasn;t like it was anything special to me at the time. like you could have replaced it with Madagascar 2: Escape 2 Africa and it would have the same effect.

UNTIL ACT FOUR.

my grandmother was never exactly aware of my reading abilities until i was maybe like, 13. she didn’t think i was actually understanding anything in the little program thing they give you. but i realized, right as act 3 finished, that carmen was going to be stabbed in the next act

ON STAGE

and i lost my shit.

“that doesn’t even make sense!” i told my grandmother as we left the building. (i thankfully didn’t make a scene but i was shaking like an abused grayhound, or some shit.) “don jose is a bad guy carmen would have stabbed him first.” (thankfully there’s a production where that actually happens. so some day i will sue them because they plagiarized from my filibuster in the lyric ladies’ bathroom about carmen when i was seven.)

“there are operas with happy endings!” she said. i wasn’t sure i believed her because i watched that one bugs bunny episode where they do wagner.

so anyway, like 7 months later my grandmother tells my parents she’ll take me to see the magic flute, also at the lyric, because it’s a child friendly opera, which, it’s

AN OPERA ABOUT FREEMASONRY CULTS AND RACISM AND SEXISM WITH TWO OR MORE ATTEMPTED SUICIDES AND A HITMAN PLOT

but by this point nobody really cared and this time i was sure i wouldn’t freak because i had trained myself into not crying at movies, because my parents didn’t allow me to watch movies that made me cry so i exploited a loophole, which again, another story. i knew about the magic flute vaguely because it was in Purrpals on the DS.

now that i knew what the magic flute was- vaguely, my grandmother told me nothing about it except that it was an opera- i asked my grandmother what rigoletto was. “oh it’s the same thing as the hunchback of notre dame!”

i still don’t know what the fuck she meant by this.

anyway i loved the magic flute- which had the same music as that baby einstein tape all those years ago so it immediately felt familiar- and as soon as i got home i went and decided that i was going to know everything to know about it.

and that’s how i got into opera.

#rambles #opera tag

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earthstory · 5 years

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Extinction of the Dodo Bird

The dodo bird (Raphus cucullatus) was a large flightless bird from Mauritius (a small isolated island just east of Madagascar). It averaged at around 3 feet tall and 22-40 lbs. The dodo bird was last seen in 1662.

Prior to the introduction of non-native species by humans, dodos had no natural predators on Mauritius, and therefore evolved to become large-bodied, relatively latent in their mobility, and pretty much fearless of larger animals. Humans arrived on Mauritius in 1598. The introduction of the European's cats, rats, pigs, dogs, etc. quickly led to not only their demise, but also the destruction of the dodos' nests, and the killing of their young and eggs. One of the first explorers of Mauritius also described the dodo bird as being extremely delicious, and large enough to feed two people.

From human arrival in 1598, it only took 60 years to demolish the dodo species. Researchers are now looking into possibly using cloning as a method of bringing the dodo back to life, which may cure the long-lived curiosity everyone has on what the dodo ate (provided that feeding behaviour is an instinctual trait, not a learned trait), how it would mate, and what it really looked like (you can watch a video on the dispute of the dodo's actual morphology here:http://bit.ly/1G8dNZK ).

~Rosie

Image: http://bit.ly/1CRMvU7

References: http://dodobird.net/

http://ind.pn/1HIfrU3

http://bit.ly/1ItvaVe

#dodo #bird #dinosaur #mauritius #extinction #science #eurpe #cat #pig #nest #the earth story

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the-firebird69 · 7 months

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going after Garth right now and his people and I'm going to flatten them. Is a freaking a****** that guy that faggot.

-other things are going on and yeah dispatched groups. We have John Raymond Lord bothering him of course unbelievable sending troops after his idiots to terminate and the odiot hasn't had enough and he's not going to have any people at all. We are attacking his places and pulling stuff out rapidly as we are aware they are going to be flattened and these are the cities they're not new but they're small that they moved into and they are feeling s*** holes with that City that the hulk was in and it's trying to fix his physical problem in the movie they're all low-rise hey crappy places and then nobody can survive in there and their son but we don't want that to happen either. There arent that many left, they're about four of them left in Madagascar so the f**** calls up and that's Garth there are others on Earth that brings us to what the empire is up to

-right now that gearing up to flatten well seven more areas they mentioned in letter is there about 20 by 30 miles and the occupy like the whole space with low rises and have huge bunkers below. They're beginning now and they're going to start on those and there are seven in both hemispheres combined. After that they're going to hit the areas that are 20x10 and they're about 20 of those and then 10 by 10 and there are 200 of those and these are like rulership areas the others were functional all of them have big bunkers the first ones are 60 by 70 by 40 and 20x10 have 40x30 by 40 and 10x10 is 20x20x20. All of which seem to be very huge to our son but they've been fighting clones and the max and then lost and the general population there's something if I'd over and they rarely come in contact with believe it or not even though they're a huge cities and they are providing for things for themselves and the USA is different no they're in the middle but some of these odd cities they're about five in there and ours did not go there and those were hit last night or two of them were and three will be hit now and below regular cities they're not that huge bunkers they have bunkers that are normal size about one by one by one mile and they're considered to be huge they really are. The bombings have commenced and there are tons of warlock in those cities this is the kind of area that the McDonald's had before these assholes attack them and some Max areas were like this bigger building of course and the max have probably 10 cities that are 20x10 and a smaller ones and the McDonald's don't have any left the only other people with them are foreigners and they have huge bunkers too under them and they have half as many as the max globally they don't have that many small ones only about five in each hemisphere and the foreigners too other than that these mega complexes I'm going to be gone with the exception of the islands so you can imagine. The max have five in New England there's two in Massachusetts in the West and they're covered with buildings and they weren't before it was nothing out there there are three in New Hampshire and people say there's nothing up there and they are not 20 by 10 up there they are 10x10 and this too in Vermont they're 10x10 and one in Massachusetts 20x10 and another 10x10 the the rest of the 20x10 and there are five in New York Pennsylvania and district of Columbia and Maryland Virginia area and four 10 by 10s there they're all in that area the other five or so on Earth I just wonder each major capital Moscow and London and Tokyo it's actually a base to and Sydney and this one in New Zealand and the clothing and we don't need that people say that would be clean to them and we say what for happy for being Jeopardy our people will be in trouble. And Garth is a moron since people are entertained by looking at him and he looks like a freak it is annoying to be near. They're hitting all four now all five in Madagascar and they're flat and they're hitting below and his are all gone the silver more areas where they are and they're mixed in and people are attacking them it won't take long and they'll be gone what a joke.

-some of what things are going on but we're going to print

Thor Freya

Olympus

Hera Zues

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