#might add more to the list if anything else crazy happens
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So to recap (July 2022 edition) we got:
- 4th of July shooting in Highland Park + a shooting in Chicago
- anyone with a uterus has less rights than an assault rifle in the U.S.; right-wing Scotus can get hit by a plane
- Edit: Native Americans have been added to the list of people with less right than an assault rifle in the U.S.
- a third of the British Parliament resigning from various government positions cause of how much everyone hates Boris Johnson
- Edit: Boris Johnson has now resigned cause of how much everyone hates Boris Johnson
- Shinzo Abe, former Prime Minister of Japan, got shot while giving a speech
- Edit: *Former Former Prime Minister... he got Lincoln’d
- a far-right French politician accidentally pinned the assassination of Shinzo Abe on popular video game designer Hideo Kojima, which a major Greek news outlet relayed, only furthering the idea that Kojima did it
- the war in Ukraine is still going on
- the state of Canada can be summarized by this image: https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/862558639735046146/995130724791365652/unkown.png
- Hunter Biden got trending on twitter for the hundredth time and nobody gives a shit seriously who gives a shit conservatives get him trending for literally breathing why is this still happening-
- Edit: ... Users of the well known “incel” website 4chan supposedly hacked the iPhone of U.S. President Joe Biden’s son Hunter Biden and allegedly exposed the both of them as pedophiles, among many other things. Sweet shitting Christ almighty, if this is true, I have been proven incorrect in possibly the most cursed way imaginable, and it is a testament to my willpower and spite that I have not fallen in alcoholism from this news piece alone
- Baymax is a Leftist
- the U.S. House Select Committee began holding live public hearings for the January 6 insurrection and no one noticed
- Kazuki Takahashi, the creator of the popular anime and playing card game Yu-Gi-Oh!, passed away (R.I.P., may he finally be free to kick Shinzo Abe’s ass without consequence in that great dueling arena in the sky...)
- the Argentinian economic minister has resigned (an announcement that was made not through any official news outlets, but via a Tweet) following an inflation crisis that is crippling the country, but all you’ll find on Twitter is people excited about the new futbol jersey for the next World Cup (no one is surprised by this)
- Elon Musk backed out of his deal to purchase Twitter for $44 billion; it was believed he didn’t know the meaning of the term “pulling out” so this was quite the surprise
- Edit: Twitter is now suing Elon Musk for not buying Twitter
- the President of Sri Lanka (not to be confused with the Prime Minister, because they apparently have both) pulled a Ted Cruz and has fled the country after citizens stormed the presidential palace in a mass riot following the announcing of the country being officially bankrupt (which the Prime Minister, not to be confused with the President, totally didn’t cause via corruption in office). The citizens involved in the protest then stormed the house of the PM, and took a swim in his pool promptly before sacking and burning the place, thus proving the month of July is truly a Hot Girl Summer
Edit: Both the PM and President of Sri Lanka have agreed to resign their positions; that is two world leader resignations and one former world leader assassination in one week; I now have the sudden urge to drink myself into 2040
#did i miss anything?#most of this was within the first week btw#might add more to the list if anything else crazy happens#current events#politics#geopolitics#us politics#scotus#fourth of july#uk politics#boris johnson#shinzo abe#hideo kojima#canada#hunter biden#4chan#baymax#january 6#kazuki takahashi#argentina#elon musk#twitter#sri lanka
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How has wearing 24/7 affected your life? Like pros and cons
I’ll try to be as realistic as possible 😅
The pros are never having to use a public 🚻 restroom, being extra warm in the winter 🥶, the crazy amount of diapers that come in different prints 😍(now is the time to be alive for abdl as I’ve said), the wholesome community and friends that I absolutely cherish (this is the biggest), I feel like diapers have given me that hourglass figure 🥹 it’s a body shaper! It has helped me relax my bladder and which has helped pain I’ve experienced because of pelvic hip dysfunction. When I can get into little space diapers make that happen super fast! 💨 (haven’t been able to be vulnerable in awhile 💔) for reasons you already know. I feel like this list would be extended if I had a daddy to share the fun with 💕
The cons.. lol
I have developed some chicken skin around the area the plastic hits on my side, the secrecy bothers me and the anxiety of someone finding out🥴🫣, planning my bowel movements (I will cheat in some circumstances) I wonder if the plastic or chemicals in the diapers will cause cancer or anything else bad (this circulates in my own head), the stereotypes and flack we get for wearing diapers sucks. Finding clothing or items that make it discreet enough.
I might add to this more later 💞
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THE ART OF TIME SLIPPING. ( A PROMPT LIST! )
an absolute genius of a nonnie requested these, and i had a weekend off, and i wanted to write these because, i mean. time travel is a tasty concept on its own, but ACCIDENTAL time travel???? exceptional! anyway, my beloved nonnie, i truly hope that these are what you were looking for! and i hope everyone else enjoys them too! as always: DO NOT ADD TO THIS LIST OF PROMPTS! and do not claim them as your own!
FROM THE ACCIDENTAL TIME TRAVELLER:
“ look, i get it. I do. you have no reason to believe what i’m saying. but i promise you: i’m from the future. “
“ how many times do i need to tell you?! i’m not even born yet! you won’t see my birth records for months/years/centuries yet! “
“ wait… hold on a second, what year is it? “
“ you don’t even have the first idea what this feels like. i just found out that i somehow missed the last [INSERT TIME SPAN HERE] of my life, and in the blink of an eye. “
“ listen, this is going to sound mad, but… you’re my mother/father/parent [OR OTHER RELATIVE]. i can’t prove it, but you are. It’s the truth. i swear. “
“ i don’t understand how i came to your time. but i do know i need to get back to my one. “
“ i seriously wish you’d all stop asking me these questions! i don’t know how i got here! i just… slipped! it just happened! “
“ it’s so weird. all this stuff that’s going to happen between now and my time… i don’t even know if i should tell you about it. “
“ all the times i wanted to be alone, or i wanted to just be somewhere that nobody knew me… this isn’t what i wanted. “
“ i just want to go back to my own timeline. okay? I didn’t want any of this to happen. i never meant… this is so messed up. “
“ wait, you believe me?! i just told you a completely wild story about being from another time, and you just… trust that i’m being honest?! “
“ the wildest thing is, i didn’t do anything to get here. you know? i didn’t drive super fast, i didn’t turn a hot tub into a time machine. i just… i was home, then i was here. “
“ i guess there’s a risk it could happen to other people in my timeline, but i’m more concerned about me right now. “
" if i don't go back... there's no knowing what could happen. and if there's the slightest risk that you might stop existing if i choose to stay, then i don't wanna stay. your world needs you. okay? "
" hey. no matter what happens now, i want you to know that i'll never forget you. you believed me and my unbelievable story about time travel. that's not something that gets forgotten easily. "
TO THE ACCIDENTAL TIME TRAVELLER:
“ prove it. prove that you’re from a different time. then i might think about believing you. “
“ …sure… you’re from the future, yeah? okay pal, i believe you. so tell me, when was the last time you slept? “
“ this is some kind of dumb prank, isn’t it? wow. well done, well played, you nearly had me. jeez, time travel… that’s just next level insanity right there… “
“ i don’t know why, but… i think i’m going to believe you. it doesn’t make a single bit of sense, but fine. you’re from the future/past. “
“ how did you end up here? or should i say… now? “
“ haven’t you seen a single time travel movie? if you stay in this time, that could mess up the entire world! “
“ i… imagine this must be very weird for you. right? or is that the dumbest understatement of the millennium? “
“ if you’re from the past, then that means we should probably keep you away from the history books. it feels like a solid rule not to spoil your future for you. “
“ look, i can’t watch all those cheesy sci-fi flicks and then ignore the possibility that people can travel through time. “
“ no. no, i don’t believe you. i don’t believe a word of what you just said. but i figure i have nothing better to do, and i kinda wanna see where you’re going with this crazy story, so… let’s go out on a limb and say you’re telling me the truth. “
“ hey, i’m asking the questions here! you don’t get to just zap into my back yard and then assume you get to ask all these questions! who are you, and how did you get here?! “
“ did you live here before? or… like, in the future, i mean? “
“ the way i see it, there’s a lot of far easier lies to believe before you could ever expect anyone to swallow the whole time travel schtick. which probably means you’re telling the truth. “
" look. you wanna get back to your own timeline, right? that means we need to replicate everything that happened the exact second you showed up here. so let's go. "
" this is completely absurd! how did you end up here?! science? magic? how! this completely destroys any and all theories of quantum physics! you just... blinked into the past/future! it's just not possible! "
" from what you're telling me, it sounds like you could end up destroying the universe just by staying here too long. so let's find a way to get you back home. "
" you don't get it! if you're from the past, that means you need to stay there in order to keep this timeline safe. right? like the butterfly theory. if you're not there in the past, then you can't do your part to secure this timeline. we could stop existing if you don't go back! "
" i mean... would it really be so bad it you stayed? sure, a new timeline would exist, but... it'd be our timeline. where you and i get to stay together. that's not so bad, is it? "
#roleplay meme#rp meme#sentence starters#ask meme#writing prompts#roleplay prompts#rp prompt#rp memes#writing prompt#roleplay starters
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Jane's Pets Chapter 90: Hope
TWs in tags
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"Is there something specific you want to talk about?" You ask. Fuck, it's been so long since she could choose what to talk about, at least that you've seen.
She just shrugs. "I don't know. I love you both. That's what I wish I could say the most. Besides that… I don't know."
You squeeze her hand. "I love you too."
Kitty nods in agreement. "Yeah, love you both…"
Puppy is silent for a bit. "You… you said I might hate you for not being politically active… why? I know you were homeless for most of your adult life, anyway… Hard to be involved in stuff like that when you're struggling to stay alive. And it's not like I was any kind of activist."
"...I don't know. It just feels like the bare minimum, y'know? I guess… I wish I'd been more involved in trying to help people back then. I was just only focused on myself. And not being politically active is an example of that… Sorry, it was a weird thing to say. I don't even really know what I meant, and I'm definitely not judging you for not being an activist, or anyone else. Just a thing I… I don't know. Sorry."
She hums thoughtfully. "Well, just know I would never hate you. Were you…? …nevermind."
You kinda want to know what she was going to say, but also this conversation is reallyyyyy awkward and you want it to be over. It's… nice, to have a problem as simple as this. An awkward conversation.
"I could never hate you either."
She nods. "I think… you're too hard on yourself. If you expect people to hate you over things like that."
You laugh in surprise. "Guess so. Add that to the list of things to talk about in therapy when this is all over."
She frowns. You hate that she doesn't believe this'll ever be over, but there's no point in trying to convince her. That'll have to wait until after Jane is dead.
"I'm… glad we can talk about anything." She finally says. "Even if we don't agree. When I'm allowed to talk, at least."
"Me too. Uh… I feel like there's so many things I've been wanting to ask you, but now that you actually can talk I can't think of anything." Besides questions about Jane you know she won't answer.
She nods. "Yeah, there's so many times that I want to say something and hold my tongue… but nothing is coming to mind now."
"We should just play a game or something, then. Kitty? What games do you think you're up for?"
They groan. "I don't know… I wanna play The Game of Life if you can talk, but… that requires a lot of focus…"
You're not really feeling up for The Game of Life either. "What about Crazy Eights?" That should be simple enough for you and Kitty and leave plenty of room for talking.
Puppy gives a thumbs up out of habit before remembering she can talk. "That sounds great."
Kitty nods in agreement, so the three of you play crazy eights for the next few hours, and then hang out with Puppy as she does her chores. It's so similar to how it normally is, and yet so different with Puppy joining in on the teasing each other and chatting.
This is how it should always be. They can't hope for that right now, but you can, and you will hope for them with everything you have.
-~-~
"Do you wanna know something funny?"
The girl stays perfectly still as Jane does her makeup. She's only recently been let upstairs for the first time and she doesn't want to do anything that would risk sending her back to the basement.
"My powers define death differently. Like, my immortality won't let me sleep forever, because that's considered too close to death. But I can only teleport non-living things, and wouldn't you know it, a person in a coma is considered alive! I don't get to be in a coma because I'm immortal. But someone in a coma is still too alive to be teleported. Isn’t that bullshit?”
The girl doesn’t dare move or speak. Jane hasn’t banned her from speaking yet, she just doesn’t want to know what’ll happen if she ruins the makeup. She wonders if Jane can teleport viruses, there's debate about whether or not those are alive, right? And her teleporting would remove all living bacteria, could it be used to sanatize things?
But she's not going to ask. She'll sit still and look pretty like Jane wants until she has a chance to get out.
“Drives me crazy." She mutters. "Look up, if you blink I'm gonna stab you in the eye."
The girl looks up as Jane applies eyeliner.
"You're really pretty… my little dress-up doll." She giggles.
The girl keeps looking up. Keeps being good, because eventually Jane will trust her to roam the house freely without cuts on her feet or broken ankles. Eventually, she'll be able to run. Just a bit longer. Just a bit more of this, and she'll be free.
-~-~
You think the healing spells you cast on the food in the fridge are working. You're the only one that would be able to tell, the others haven't been hurt recently, so you pay close attention to the speed of your healing. You think it's going faster.
It's been a few days since Puppy was allowed to talk, and your heart aches now that you have such a recent reminder of what Jane has taken away from her, and from you and Kitty. She should be that happy every day. She should be that free every day.
You spend a lot of time thinking about different spells and how you could make or find new ones. You feel fairly confident that if there was an already existing/known spell that could kill Jane, she would be dead, by her hand or someone else's. You have to discover the way to kill her, in your own way. You have to think of something no one's tried before. Something you have that everyone she's hurt before, including herself, didn't have.
There has to be something. There has to be. You have to have something special no one else has had before because otherwise this is going to be the rest of your life.
So that's what you spend your time thinking about, while you garden, while you play games with the others, while you go on walks and gather materials. What do you have that's special? What new spell can you make or discover that no one else before could've done?
"Kitty? Do you think I'm special?"
Kitty looks up from their coloring book (the three of you try to save the coloring books for special occasions- they can only really be used once, after all- and the special occasion today is that Kitty had a worse breakdown than normal and needed a pick-me-up). "Um… I don't know. Why?"
"Just… thinking. I've been trying to think of things that are special about me."
"...why?"
"I don't know. Sorry for bothering you."
"Hmm…" they go back to coloring. "Trying to… figure out why you're here? Even if there is something special… it doesn't help to worry about it."
"I know. I'm not worried about what made Jane pick me." You know why- you're trusting, and you were alone, and she thought it would be fun to hurt you. None of that is special.
"Okay…" Kitty frowns as they go back to coloring. Probably frustrated that they can't figure out why you're asking…
Well, Jane already knows you're trying to kill her. You can say this out loud.
"I just- lots of people have tried to kill Jane, y'know? If I want to be the one to do it, I have to have something none of those people had. I have to be special. Does that make sense?"
They nod slowly. "A little. But… it doesn't just have to be something about you. Or a specific person. Right? Cause… time keeps moving on. She's more or less given up on being able to die, or at least it seems that way from how she talks… but new things are invented every day."
Oh, you were totally right to talk to Kitty about this, even if Jane can hear your scheming. "Right! It could be something only someone in this specific time could do, not something only I can do. Hmm… If only we knew what kinds of things Jane had already tried! Or how she became immortal in the first place!"
Kitty sighs. "There's so much we don't know…" They look so, so tired.
"Don't give up hope. We're close, I just know it."
"Mmmm…"
They don't have to believe you. You'll get them out of here.
–
You wake up the next morning from a dream of forcing Jane to drink molten metal, a surprising but welcome break from your nightmares. You scheme even in your sleep. You doubt it would work, she's certain to have already tried that, but you do wonder… can she teleport things out of her body?
You add that to the list of things you want to test, right after if a body part got cut off, would she be able to reattach it or would she grow a new one? and can she heal if her entire body is destroyed at once?
You're scared to do things just to test them. If there's no chance of it killing her, you're just signing yourself (and the others) up to be tortured. But you'll never figure out how to kill her without more information…
So that makes the 'destroying her whole body' thing the most appealing. It's a test, but it also has a chance, however small, of actually killing her. So that's your plan for today.
You prepare a spell to do just that, not even bothering to wait for Jane to take someone else to the basement. You don't care if she's watching, so long as you can catch her off guard eventually. Your head is already starting to hurt.
Once the spell is prepared, you leave your room for breakfast, and-
Your hopes are immediately crushed. Jane is dragging Kitty by the hair to the basement.
You'd cast right now, but… you don't know if you're skilled enough to avoid hitting Kitty. So you just watch as Jane drags them and laughs while they cry.
"Good morning, Bunny! My Kitty needs a bit more training."
She throws them down the stairs and follows after, slamming the door behind her. Fuck
They're going to get tortured. You don't even know if they did anything, or if Jane was just bored. You need to kill Jane.
Puppy sits at the table, still muzzled, staring at the omelets she made. You need to kill Jane.
You sit down next to her. This… it's not ideal, but you can still get something out of this. Out of her being in the basement with Kitty. "Puppy. Do you trust me?"
Screaming starts up downstairs. Puppy nods slowly.
"Would you do anything for me?" You know you're being manipulative, but this can't go on any longer.
She looks at you suspiciously, but nods.
"Then I need you to tell me- If Jane's entire body was destroyed at once, would she die?"
Puppy shakes her head.
"If some kind of weapon was inside her body, would she be able to teleport it out?"
Puppy thinks for a moment, then shakes her head reluctantly. She's less willing to give you this information- probably because she's worried you'll do something stupid- but she did give it. She's not just telling you what she thinks will make you the least likely to get hurt, she's telling telling you the truth.
"If one of her limbs were chopped off, would another one grow in its place?"
She shakes her head.
"Would the limb reattach?"
She nods.
"So, her healing… it just reverses damage, right? It's not making new cells or anything."
Puppy nods. But… that doesn't feel right. When you slit her throat, the blood didn’t go back into her. And she told Barron (thinking about it at all sends a stab of pain through your chest, but you push it away) she once held open wounds until she should’ve bled out…
“But her blood is different. From her skin and stuff. More gets made, and more skin doesn’t get made.”
Puppy winces and nods hesitantly.
“I guess that could be true about any bodily fluids… but you’re reacting like blood is special. Is that important? For killing her? Knowing that her blood is different somehow?”
Puppy shrugs. She’s starting to look pretty upset… just a few more questions, then you can comfort her. Kitty screams and screams downstairs.
“So her blood is important to her immortality.”
Puppy nods.
“Do you know why she’s immortal?”
Puppy nods again, looking more distressed. You’re… not sure where to go from here with yes or no questions.
“Okay. I’m done. Sorry for upsetting you.” You pull her into a hug, and she practically melts. “I’m sorry. Thank you for trusting me, and helping me. I know you can’t believe me, but… I’m going to end this. We’re getting out of here.”
She doesn’t respond, of course. That’s okay- well, it’s not, but it’s going to be. “It’s going to be okay, I promise.”
A/N: Let me know if I should tag anything else, or if you want to be added to or removed from the tag list!
Tag list: @eatyourdamnpears @whump-in-the-closet @scp-1296 @thecosmicmap @quins-whump-stuff @fuckcapitalismasshole
#whump#whump writing#whumpblr#intimate whumper#creepy whumper#nonhuman whumper#multiple whumpees#pet whump#whumpee#whumper#whump caretaker#3rd person pov#2nd person pov#torture mention tw#implied drugging tw#jane’s pets
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Just a list... mess? Jumble? of thoughts on the happenings in The Bad Batch lately. Spoilers from TBB episode 11 season 3 and stuff up to then. They're mostly about Crosshair, but anyone who wants to talk about anything else is fine, too.
>So one of my cousins told me that he thought Crosshair was "Faking his hands shaking because he's still loyal to the empire." And "It was his choice from the beginning. His chip never worked, just like his brothers didn't."
...that's not true... right? Like, this
Is too acute of a tremor to be faked, and he didn't miss the shot because they were shaking. He missed because the ship accelerated, and he didn't have enough time to take aim. See?
Guys, please tell me this isn't true. Please, please, tell me it's not true.
And we only have 4 more episodes! How much more can go wrong for these guys?!
The facts just don't add up. If Crosshair wanted Omega captured for the empire, he wouldn't have helped her escape at the beginning of the season. I mean, I'm not super pick-apart-every-detail, but as far as I know, there hasn't been anything hinting toward him being fake.
>On a different note, I saw a post a while back, pointing out the potential significance of Crosshair being the only Bad Batch member with the same armor they wore in season one. I've run dry of ideas/theories, but does anyone have a guess as to why/its significance?
>I've heard many theories about CX-9 (I think that's the name, at least) and how he might be Tech, or Cody, etc... and by far my favorite... or least favorite thing I've seen basically pointed out that if CX-9 is Tech, Tech has destroyed his home, the Maurauder, almost killed Crosshair, hurt Wrecker, helped the empire capture Omega, and hunt his brothers. This is sad, but... if CX-9 is Tech, it's not the Tech we know.
> Finally, I think we all agree Hemlock should die, and regardless of whether or not Disney decides to show it, how do you want him to die? Should one of his experiments (either human or of other nature) go AWOL and kill him? Should Hunter or another. Member of The Bad Batch kill him? Should Emerie have a Crosshair moment and shoot him because he's being cold and mean? Tell me what you think- actually, maybe I'll make a poll. Give me what you think so I have stuff to make a Poll with!
>If anyone has any theories, I'd love to hear/discuss them because I'm into that kinda stuff. No matter how crazy or abstract.
(PS: This was my first time posting, so let me know how I did and how I can be... better, I guess?)
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Karkat Vantas, John Egbert
Page 365-375
KARKAT: ROUGH DAY, HUH.
JOHN: karkat?
JOHN: what are you doing here?
KARKAT: IT'S NICE TO SEE YOU TOO.
KARKAT: JOHN, YOU MAY NOT HAVE NOTICED, BUT I AM THE LEADER OF AN ARMY. MY PLACE IS ON THE BATTLEFIELD.
JOHN: i suppose that is true, but that doesn't answer my question!
JOHN: this isn't a battlefield, it's just...
KARKAT: THE OBLITERATED, SMOLDERING HUSK OF YOUR FORMER HOME.
JOHN: well, yeah.
KARKAT: WHICH WAS DESTROYED AS COLLATERAL IN AN ONGOING MILITARY CONFLICT.
JOHN: oh all right, fine.
JOHN: it just feels weird to call it that.
JOHN: i guess i'm used to thinking of home as somewhere far away from all that war stuff.
KARKAT: JESUS *CHRIST* JOHN.
KARKAT: I CANNOT EVEN BEGIN TO LIST ALL THE WAYS IN WHICH THAT CONSTITUTES A SHORT-SIGHTED AND PUKE-WORTHILY IGNORANT THING TO SAY TO ME, PERSONALLY.
KARKAT: AND FRANKLY I DON'T HAVE TIME TO BOTHER, THANKS TO THE COUNTLESS FIRES I HAVE BEEN PUTTING OUT ALL DAY, THE ONE PRESENTLY CONSUMING YOUR HIVE NOTWITHSTANDING.
KARKAT: YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD HAVE MADE THINGS GO A BIT MORE SMOOTHLY? JUST A FRACTION?
KARKAT: IF YOU HADN'T JUST DECIDED TO WANDER OFF THE INSTANT SHIT STARTED HAPPENING.
JOHN: jeez, i'm sorry karkat.
JOHN: i had no idea how much time had passed.
JOHN: i must have gotten a bit distracted by my house being blown up.
KARKAT: NOT WANTING TO POINT OUT THE OBVIOUS, BUT I FEEL LIKE THIS WAS A PROBLEM THAT YOU OF ALL PEOPLE WERE UNIQUELY AND MAGICALLY EQUIPPED TO DEAL WITH.
JOHN: huh?
KARKAT: YOU KNOW.
KARKAT: WITH YOUR SHOOSH THING.
JOHN: my shoosh thing.
KARKAT: YOUR SHOOSH THING.
KARKAT: THE GUSTY NONSENSE? THE GIFT OF GAS??
KARKAT: YOUR SBURB ALLOCATED BLOW JOB???
JOHN: uh.
KARKAT: THE SUPERNATURAL COMMUNION YOU HAVE WITH ALL THINGS WINDY, YOU ASS!!
JOHN: oh right, that.
JOHN: that would have let me put the fire out, maybe.
JOHN: i don't think there's anything in my skillset that would have unexploded my house though.
KARKAT: THAT'S FAIR.
JOHN: i suppose i'll add one more notch to the daily tally of crazy stuff that happened which i just have to accept as my life now.
JOHN: so...
JOHN: what else happened while i was caught up watching the symbolic representation of my former life get consumed in a giant fire ball?
KARKAT: OH BOY. WHERE TO START.
KARKAT: SO FIRST OFF, IN HINDSIGHT, TODAY WAS PRETTY OBVIOUSLY JUST ONE HUGE BAITED TRAP.
KARKAT: I SAY "IN HINDSIGHT", BUT FORTUNATELY IT WAS ALSO EXTREMELY APPARENT EVEN IN FORESIGHT TO THOSE OF US WHO SPENT A FEW SECONDS THINKING ABOUT IT.
JOHN: ...right.
KARKAT: OH COME ON EGBERT, SERIOUSLY?
KARKAT: KIDNAPPING A PERSON OF IMPORTANCE, ONLY TO LET US KNOW PRECISELY WHERE AND ON WHAT OCCASION THEY WOULD BE MOST ACCESSIBLE FOR A RESCUE ATTEMPT?
KARKAT: HAVING THAT OCCASION BE NONE OTHER THAN THE CORPSE PARTY OF A HIGHLY NOTEWORTHY POLITICAL FIGURE, WHOSE CASKET MIGHT AS WELL HAVE HAD A GIANT "KICK ME" SIGN DAUBED ON IT?
KARKAT: THERE WAS BASICALLY NO WAY IT WASN'T A FRONT FOR SOMETHING HUGE. AND IT WAS!
KARKAT: WE HAPPEN TO BE SITTING IN FRONT OF ONE FACET OF THAT HUGENESS AT THIS VERY MOMENT.
JOHN: well, when you put it like that...
JOHN: i guess we all got pranked pretty hard, huh.
KARKAT: THIS IS NO TIME FOR YOUR SHITTY NERD PRANKS JOHN.
KARKAT: FRANKLY I'M INSULTED THAT YOU THINK SUCH A WORD IS EVEN REMOTELY APPOSITE TO THE PRESENT SITUATION.
KARKAT: OTHER THAN TO DESCRIBE THE WAY I AM PERSONALLY BEING "PRANKED" BY REALITY IN HAVING TO EXPLAIN ALL THIS TO YOU.
KARKAT: ANYWAY, THE RESCUE ATTEMPT.
KARKAT: THIS IS THE ONLY POINT WHERE ANY SEMBLANCE OF GOOD NEWS COMES INTO PLAY, SO SAVOR IT.
JOHN: okay.
KARKAT: IT TURNS OUT THAT WE DIDN'T NEED TO PUT SO MUCH EFFORT INTO THE RESCUING YIFFY PART OF THE OPERATION.
KARKAT: SHE BASICALLY RESCUED HERSELF WHEN ALL WAS SAID AND DONE.
KARKAT: AND TOOK CARE OF KICKING GAMZEE'S CORPSEBOX OVER WHILE SHE WAS AT IT, IN A STUNNING DISPLAY OF EFFICIENCY WHICH THE REST OF US CAN ONLY ASPIRE TO.
JOHN: oh wow, haha.
JOHN: i knew she'd be a bit of a character, being rose and jade's daughter and all...
JOHN: but that's impressive!
JOHN: it sounds like she'd be a pretty welcome addition to your ranks then.
KARKAT: SHE'S A CHILD, YOU MORON.
KARKAT: OH, AND SPEAKING OF WHICH.
KARKAT: PAUSING BRIEFLY TO NOTE IN ADVANCE HOW MUCH I LOATHE THE FACT THAT THIS IS AN EVENTUALITY THAT THE UNIVERSE HAS *ONCE AGAIN* SEEN FIT TO CURSE US WITH:
KARKAT: THE VRISKAS, PLURAL.
JOHN: shit.
KARKAT: THEY'VE BOTH BEEN CAPTURED.
JOHN: shiiiiiiiit.
KARKAT: YEAH.
KARKAT: GREAT WORK KEEPING AN EYE ON THEM, BY THE WAY!
KARKAT: YOU LITERALLY HAD ONLY ONE JOB, AND YOU MESSED IT UP IN THE EQUALLY SINGULAR WAY IT WAS POSSIBLE TO DO.
JOHN: urgh, i know, i know. ):
KARKAT: HAVING SAID THAT, THIS WAS THE ONE THING UP CROCKER'S SLEEVE YOU COULD BE EXCUSED FROM NOT HAVING SEEN COMING.
KARKAT: I GUESS BECAUSE, ON THE FACE OF IT, IT'S JUST TOTALLY FUCKING BANANAS!
KARKAT: JANE'S PLAN FOR THIS CONFLICT HAS THUS FAR CONSISTED ALMOST ENTIRELY OF KIDNAPPING VARIOUS HIGH PROFILE CHILDREN.
KARKAT: IT'S BIZARRE.
KARKAT: AS THOUGH WE ARE FIGHTING A WAR OF ATTRITION, WHERE THE MAIN RESOURCE BEING UTILIZED IS THE OFFSPRING OF THE MOST POWERFUL PEOPLE ON THE PLANET.
KARKAT: IF IT WASN'T ONE OF THE CORE TENETS OF HER FASCISTIC PHILOSOPHY, I'D BE TEMPTED TO SAY THAT CURBING REPRODUCTION MIGHT HAVE BEEN A GOOD IDEA, IF ONLY TO PREVENT THIS KIND OF FUCKSHIT NONSENSE FROM HAPPENING.
JOHN: wait.
JOHN: wait a minute.
JOHN: you said that both vriskas have been captured, right?
KARKAT: EXCUSE ME WHILE I WEEP FOR JOY AT THE REVELATION THAT YOU HAVE BEEN PAYING ATTENTION FOR ONCE.
JOHN: okay, well putting that emotional outburst aside for a moment.
JOHN: how is that even possible?
JOHN: doesn't vriska, the original vriska, still have her magic alien mind control powers?
JOHN: it seems like it should be basically impossible for anyone to kidnap her.
KARKAT: YOU'VE STUMBLED ASS BACKWARDS ACROSS THE MOST IMPORTANT POINT OF THIS UNFORTUNATE DEVELOPMENT.
KARKAT: YOU ARE CORRECT, IN THAT WITH HER CASTE-TYPICAL, *COMPLETELY SCIENTIFIC AND NOT EVEN A LITTLE BIT MAGICAL* PSYCHOMANIPULATIVE ABILITIES, STAYING OUT OF CROCKER'S REACH SHOULD HAVE BEEN COMPLETELY TRIVIAL FOR SERKET PRIME.
KARKAT: EVEN ACCOUNTING FOR THE FACT THAT SAID ABILITIES ARE NOT NEARLY AS POTENT ON HUMANS AS THEY ARE ON FELLOW TROLLS, THEY STILL OUGHT TO HAVE TIPPED ANY ALTERCATION SQUARELY IN HER FAVOR.
KARKAT: BUT SOMEHOW, IT DIDN'T!
KARKAT: INSTEAD, THINGS APPEAR TO HAVE GONE GLOBES UP IN CLASSIC VRISKITE FASHION, AND NOW ONE OF THE MOST UNEXPECTED AND UNWANTED BUT NEVERTHELESS USEFUL WEAPONS IN OUR ARSENAL IS DOING TIME IN CROCKERJAIL.
KARKAT: THAT'S ABOUT ALL WE'VE BEEN ABLE TO GLEAN FROM TAPPING INTO THE BATTERBITCH AIRWAVES, WHICH IS A FANCY TERM FOR EAVESDROPPING ON THOSE OF HER AGENTS WHO TALK A LITTLE TOO LOUDLY IN SEMI-PUBLIC SPACES.
JOHN: jeez.
JOHN: i really screwed that up, didn't i.
KARKAT: I'M RELIEVED TO SEE THAT YOUR GRASP OF THAT FACT IS PRETTY GOOD AT LEAST.
JOHN: ):
KARKAT: HAVING SAID ALL OF THAT, AND WITH THE RECOGNITION THAT I AM CHOOSING TO NURSE YOUR BRUISED FEELINGS DURING A PLANET WIDE CONFLICT FOR THE FATE OF MY SPECIES,
KARKAT: IS THERE ANYTHING I CAN DO TO EXPEDITE YOUR GETTING THE FUCK OVER IT?
JOHN: i... hm.
JOHN: i don't really know?
JOHN: this all feels wrong, karkat.
JOHN: no offense, but when you're around, it's usually a lot...
KARKAT: A LOT WHAT?
JOHN: a lot funnier.
KARKAT: FUNNIER.
JOHN: how to put this.
JOHN: normally listening to you go on and on about how much we've fucked everything up is just very funny!
JOHN: but now it's just not the same.
JOHN: maybe it's part of what's going on with this entire reality? i don't know.
JOHN: once upon a time i would have put down your ability to pull a silly rant out of your butt as a fundamental law of physics or something.
JOHN: remember back when we first knew each other?
JOHN: it felt like all you ever said to me was how much you thought i was screwing up and being a useless asshole.
JOHN: and once i realized that you were also just a dumb kid who didn't know what was going on, i started to kind of enjoy it.
JOHN: but now it's like... the only one who's still a dumb kid is me, and everyone else has something big and important going on that i just don't understand.
JOHN: i thought that i finally got what was going on with this whole war and everything. i wanted to be useful!
JOHN: i guess i got a little too wrapped up in the feeling of something finally happening again.
JOHN: and then watching it all blow up in my face, kind of literally now that i think about it...
JOHN: it's hard not to feel even more dejected about the situation than i was before.
JOHN: and now even the patented karkat vant rant has lost all its sparkle.
JOHN: maybe if you had like, painstakingly itemized a list of all the things wrong with my plan in a comically overdone fashion or something.
KARKAT: I CONSIDERED IT, BUT HONESTLY THERE WAS SO MUCH WRONG THAT I CONCLUDED THAT THE BEST THING FOR EVERYONE WOULD BE TO NEVER SPEAK OF IT AGAIN.
JOHN: oh. okay.
KARKAT: IF WE'RE BEING HONEST, YOU DIDN'T EVEN HAVE A PLAN, JOHN.
KARKAT: CALLING IT A PLAN WOULD IMPLY THAT IT WAS A STRUCTURED SEQUENCE OF STEPS DESIGNED TO ACHIEVE A GOAL.
KARKAT: WHAT YOU CAME UP WITH WAS A CONVOLUTED MESS WHICH STILL SOMEHOW INVOLVED DOING FUCKALL.
KARKAT: AND I USE CONVOLUTED HERE IN THE SAME WAY THAT I WOULD TO DESCRIBE THE FRENZIED DRAWSTICK SCRIBBLES OF A SQUALLING HUMAN INFANT.
KARKAT: SPEAKING OF WHICH:
KARKAT: DRAWING A SHITTY PICTURE WITH "THE ULTIMATE PLAN" AT THE TOP AND A BUNCH OF ARROWS DOES NOT, AND TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE HAS NEVER, CONSTITUTED AN ACTIONABLE PLAN.
KARKAT: DO NOT RESPOND TO THIS CRITICISM WITH ANOTHER MISERABLE EXPRESSION, I AM BEGGING YOU.
JOHN: okay ):
KARKAT: LOOK.
KARKAT: I APPRECIATE THAT YOU SEEM TO HAVE DUG YOUR PAN OUT OF YOUR OWN CHUTE THE FEW MICROMETERS NECESSARY TO NOTICE THE PRECISE DEGREE TO WHICH THE WORLD IS BEING JUDICIOUSLY BATFUCKED RIGHT NOW.
KARKAT: AS HARD AS IT IS TO BELIEVE, THAT'S A FEAT WHICH NO SMALL NUMBER OF PEOPLE ARE COMPLETELY INCAPABLE OF DOING!
KARKAT: BUT NOTICING THE PROBLEM AND MAKING MEANINGFUL PROGRESS TOWARDS SOLVING IT ARE TWO COMPLETELY DIFFERENT THINGS.
KARKAT: THE NEXT TIME YOU GET THE IMPULSE TO "LEND A HAND", YOU'D BE BETTER OFF CANNING IT FOR FIVE MINUTES AND LISTENING TO THOSE OF US WHO'VE BEEN TRYING TO SOLVE IT A LOT LONGER THAN YOU HAVE.
KARKAT: THIS ISN'T AN EXERCISE BEING CONDUCTED IN ORDER FOR YOU TO PROVE YOUR PERSONAL DEGREE OF MORAL RECTITUDE.
KARKAT: AND IF IT WAS, YOU WOULD HAVE ALREADY FAILED MISERABLY! SO DO YOURSELF AND EVERYONE ELSE A FAVOR AND STOP TREATING IT LIKE ONE.
JOHN: well... all right. if you say so karkat.
KARKAT: I DO SAY SO, EMPHATICALLY AND AT GREAT VOLUME.
KARKAT: AND NOW THAT MY OBLIGATION TO CATECHIZE YOU ON THE SUBJECT OF YOUR OWN LIFE IS FULFILLED, I HAVE A WAR TO GET BACK TO.
JOHN: wait, hold on.
KARKAT: OH MY GOD WHAT NOW.
JOHN: you can't be leaving already.
JOHN: there's... so much we still need to talk about!
KARKAT: OF COURSE I'M SHITTING LEAVING.
KARKAT: WHAT MORE COULD THERE POSSIBLY BE FOR US TO DISCUSS??
KARKAT: PLEASE DO NOT TELL ME YOU JUST HAD ANOTHER EMOTION THAT WE NEED TO DROP EVERYTHING IN ORDER TO DISSECT.
JOHN: no, that's not what i'm talking about at all.
JOHN: karkat, we still haven't spoken about *you*!
KARKAT: ABOUT ME?
JOHN: yes.
KARKAT: ABOUT *ME*?
JOHN: about you.
KARKAT: WHAT THE FUCK ABOUT ME.
JOHN: well...
JOHN: you know, how you feel!
KARKAT: HOW I FEEL.
JOHN: or just...
JOHN: argh, i don't know!
JOHN: it's just been so long since we've seen each other.
JOHN: all sorts of things have happened in that time, and it doesn't feel right to just not even mention any of it!
KARKAT: LIKE WHAT??
JOHN: oh, i don't know karkat, literally anything!
JOHN: i mean, look at you.
JOHN: you are decked out in a tight body suit and have an eyepatch and everything. there is simply no way there isn't something to discuss there.
JOHN: or like, forget the eyepatch, we don't have to talk about the eyepatch.
JOHN: i feel as though my point still stands?
JOHN: there is basically a bottomless well full of stuff to go through.
JOHN: i mean we kind of glossed over it when you brought her up earlier, but what about yiffy?
JOHN: this might not come across so easily due to human troll cultural boundaries, but her existing is kind of a big deal??
JOHN: i feel like somehow i missed the part where we all sit around and talk about how strange it is that two of our friends went off and had a secret child without any of us knowing!
JOHN: is it too much to ask that we have that part now, karkat?
JOHN: i mean, maybe it just doesn't mean that much to you.
KARKAT: JOHN.
JOHN: which is a little strange, given that it ties in to the whole conflict that you had with jade and dave.
JOHN: oh god we have to talk about dave.
KARKAT: JOHN.
KARKAT: FUCKING HELL!
KARKAT: I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT DAVE.
JOHN: no, this is what i mean, karkat.
JOHN: we need to talk about dave!
KARKAT: HAHA! LIKE SHIT WE DO!!
KARKAT: I HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE HOW THIS IS EVEN A RELEVANT TOPIC OF CONVERSATION.
JOHN: oh come on.
JOHN: there's no way you aren't feeling kind of messed up about him, right?
JOHN: i know i am.
JOHN: whenever i think about how things ended between you two...
JOHN: especially now that he's...
JOHN: ugh, i'm sorry. i'm SO sorry karkat. sorry doesn't even begin to cover it.
JOHN: this whole thing feels so impossibly sad.
JOHN: all i'm trying to say is...
JOHN: it's not healthy to bottle these feelings up and not acknowledge them.
JOHN: even if you aren't feeling anything right now, and i don't for a moment believe that's true, *i* need to talk about dave!
JOHN: so can we please just talk about dave for a moment.
KARKAT: NNNNGNGNGGGGGGGUUUUUUGUUGHHHHHHHH FINE.
KARKAT: IF IT WILL GET YOU TO SHUT UP ABOUT THIS TOPIC FOR EVEN A BRIEF MOMENT, THEN FINE.
KARKAT: REGARDLESS OF HOW POINTLESS AN EXERCISE I CONSIDER IT TO BE, I WILL DISCUSS WITH YOU MY "FEELINGS" ABOUT DAVE.
JOHN: okay.
JOHN: thank you.
KARKAT: ARE YOU PREPARED TO BE INUNDATED WITH NONE OTHER THAN AN UNINTERRUPTED SPATE OF HARD, UNEMBELLISHED DATA VIS A VIS MY SWEEPS-SUPPRESSED, BISCUITFELT EMOTIONS ON THE DAVE SITUATION??
KARKAT: WELL HERE GOES.
KARKAT: *DEEP BREATH*
KARKAT: YOU WANT TO KNOW HOW I REALLY FEEL ABOUT DAVE?
KARKAT: HOW I FEEL IS THAT I WISH THAT EVERYONE WOULD STOP FUCKING BOTHERING ME ABOUT HIM!!!
KARKAT: ALRIGHT, SO HE AND JADE GOT HUMAN MARRIED!! BIG DEAL!!!
KARKAT: DO PEOPLE FORGET THAT I WAS THERE?? I FEEL LIKE EVERYONE IS FORGETTING THAT I WAS LITERALLY INVITED TO THE OCCASION.
KARKAT: I'VE EVEN COME TO EXPECT THIS KIND OF AMNESIAC BEHAVIOR FROM EVERYONE ELSE, SINCE I ADMIT THAT I DIDN'T EXACTLY STICK AROUND OR ACTUALLY SHOW MY FACE FOR MOST OF THE ORDEAL, BUT YOU EGBERT SHOULD HAVE NO FUCKING EXCUSE!
JOHN: wait, karkat, that's not what i
KARKAT: SO YEAH! THAT WHOLE THING HAPPENED, AND I CAME TO TERMS WITH WHATEVER THERE WAS TO COME TO TERMS WITH, WHICH WAS FUCKING *NOTHING*, AND THEN I GOT ON WITH THE ACTUAL IMPORTANT BUSINESS OF TRYING TO PREVENT THE WORLD FROM CRUMBLING!
KARKAT: WHICH, NOW THAT WE'RE ON THE SUBJECT, IS *STILL FUCKING HAPPENING*!
KARKAT: I AM UTTERLY APPALLED THAT THIS IS AN INFO MORSEL I KEEP HAVING TO SPOONFEED DOWN YOUR WINDCHUTE EVERY FIVE SECONDS, JOHN, I REALLY AM.
KARKAT: I MEAN HOLY SHIT, NOW IS NOT THE TIME FOR THIS!
KARKAT: AND ONE THING I CAN SAY WITH ABSOLUTE IRONCLAD CERTAINTY IS THAT IF DAVE WERE HERE, HE WOULD SAY THE SAME THING!!
KARKAT: SPEAKING OF WHICH, WHERE *IS* DAVE??
JOHN: um.
KARKAT: I FEEL LIKE IF ANYONE COULD HAVE PREVENTED TODAY FROM DEVOLVING INTO A HEADLESS CLUSTERFUCK, IT WOULD HAVE BEEN... OKAY, MAYBE NOT HIM, BUT AT LEAST HE MIGHT HAVE HELPED DRAG YOU OUT OF YOUR DEPRESSIVE FUGUE A LITTLE SOONER!
JOHN: (oh shit.)
KARKAT: NOT ONLY THAT, BUT MAYBE WITH BOTH OF US HERE WE COULD HAVE DISPENSED WITH THIS ENTIRE SORRY TOPIC ONCE AND FOR ALL, IF ONLY FOR YOUR BENEFIT!
KARKAT: OH HI DAVE, JOHN SEEMS TO BE UNDER THE IMPRESSION THAT THE UNSPOKEN HISTORY BETWEEN US IS OF SUFFICIENT IMPORT THAT WE NEED TO HASH IT OUT THIS VERY SECOND IN FRONT OF THE BLASTED REMAINS OF HIS HOME!
KARKAT: yo karkat that does seem to be a strange thing for my best friend john to be concerned about given that he has spent the past five years wallowing in the depths of deepest divorce fever
KARKAT: and especially since jade and i have meanwhile been working as part of your resistance with no complaints, but sure, we can brofist each other and arrange our limbs in an unambiguously platonic way
KARKAT: a way which is also flawlessly calculated to communicate to everyone present that here are two guys who are totally and unequivocally over each other
JOHN: (oh god. you don't...)
KARKAT: THAT SOUNDS LIKE A GREAT IDEA DAVE, AND WITH THAT MAYBE THAT WAY WE CAN WASH OUR TOUCH STUMPS OF THIS WHOLE ORDEAL AND NEVER HAVE TO SPEAK OF IT AGAIN!
KARKAT: WOULD YOU LIKE THAT, JOHN?
KARKAT: WOULD THAT SATISFY YOUR CRAVING FOR CATHARSIS ON THE SUBJECT OF DAVE??
KARKAT: WELL WHY DON'T WE TRY IT THEN.
KARKAT: IN FACT, WHY DON'T YOU CALL DAVE AND GET HIM OVER HERE RIGHT NOW!
JOHN: (oh my god...)
KARKAT: MAYBE WE SHOULD GET JADE TO COME AS WELL!
JOHN: ):
KARKAT: FUCK, WHY NOT INVITE FUCKING EVERYONE!!!
KARKAT: WHY NOT PRESS "PAUSE" ON THE RACE WAR FOR A MOMENT AND HAVE ONE HUGE FEELINGS JAM LAWNMEAL WHERE WE ALL PUBLICLY EXPATIATE OUR VARIOUS CONVOLUTED EMOTIONS.
KARKAT: FORGET PEACE TALKS, GET FUCKING *CROCKER* TO COME!
KARKAT: MAYBE THE SIGHT OF A DAVEKAT RECONCILIATION IS THE SECRET KEY TO UNLOCKING THE PART OF HER BRAIN THAT STOPS HER FROM BEING A GENOCIDAL RACIST BITCH!!!
KARKAT: HOW COULD WE HAVE POSSIBLY BEEN SO BLIND!!!!!!
KARKAT: IF GAMZEE WASN'T DEAD, YOU COULD HAVE INVITED HIM AS WELL!
KARKAT: HAHAHA, THAT'S OKAY, WE STILL HAVE A VERITABLE MENAGERIE OF PEOPLE WE KNOW WHO AREN'T DEAD.
JOHN: ))))):
KARKAT: ALL OF WHOM I AM SURE WILL BE SIMPLY DELIGHTED TO ATTEND WHAT WILL UNDOUBTEDLY BE THE SINGLE MOST IMPORTANT EVENT IN EARTH C'S BULLSHIT HISTORY.
KARKAT: IF THIS IS WHAT IT TAKES, EGBERT, THEN I AM PREPARED TO DO IT!
KARKAT: DON'T THINK THAT I WON'T!!
KARKAT: IF JUST FOR AN *INSTANT* IT WILL GET EVERYONE OFF MY CASE ABOUT THIS, I WILL STAND UP WITH DAVE IN FRONT OF THE ENTIRE ***FUCKING WORLD*** AND SOLEMNLY VOW THAT I DO NOT GIVE A SHIT!!!!
JOHN: KARKAT!!!!
JOHN: ugh, fuck, this is just too much!
JOHN: i thought you KNEW!
KARKAT: KNEW WHAT???
JOHN: dave's GONE, karkat!
JOHN: he's...
JOHN: he's dead.
JOHN: i didn't mean for you to find out like this at all, i thought...
JOHN: i mean, i only heard about it yesterday, but i was convinced someone would have told you already!
JOHN: apparently one minute he was there, and the next...
JOHN: none of us even know how it happened, and it doesn't make any sense that he's dead, but he is.
JOHN: he is dead and he's not coming back.
KARKAT:
JOHN: talk to me karkat, please.
JOHN: please talk to me karkat.
KARKAT:
KARKAT: HE...
KARKAT: HE DIDN'T EVEN SAY GOODBYE?
#homestuck#homestuck^2#karkat vantas#john egbert#homestuck^2 act 1#page 365#page 366#page 367#page 368#page 369#page 370#page 371#page 372#page 373#page 374#page 375
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Ahhhh I love your writing so much. Loved the newest chapter!!! Full on end of the world slow burn romance! I love unconventional soulmates.
Have you ever seen haunting of hill house? I’m thinking the dysfunctional family unit, seeing ghosts and not being believed might really work with the umbrellas?
Yay, I'm so glad you're enjoying it! I too adore the soulmates that, from the outside, seem to make no sense, where everyone else wonders why they would be together, but who compliment one another so perfectly. It hurts what they've both gone through, and I wanted to try to find a way to fix it, but I gotta admit, it's a real challenge with them having this big age gap (I mean...I guess they do in canon, too, but at least in that situation Klaus is firmly in his 30s...), but still, if Five had is way, it would not be as slow, lmao.
I *love* Haunting of Hill House (and the book, and the other shows in the series) and actually I thought the same thing when I did a recent rewatch. The atmosphere would be perfect for the Umbrellas. I had a vague thought of Ben and Klaus taking the role of the twins, which of course leads poor Ben to dying. (I could actually see Klaus as being Theo *and* Luke tbh, because I love the extra drama of him not being able to touch--that's something I love to toy with, the idea of there being one person you can touch. Plus Klaus losing himself in drugs to stop seeing the ghosts, and sleeping with anything with a pulse to try to feel something good, maximum pain. And I totally see Luther and Viktor as different aspects of Steve. Like both of them completely denying what happened to them as kids, Viktor still writing the book making everyone else look like they're crazy. Allison has Shirl vibes fr. IDK about Diego or Five.
I also sorta dreamed up what the Red Room would be for each of them. Like a gym for both Luther and Diego, but probably different sorts of equipment--like more typical strength machines/treadmill for Luther, where as for Diego it's more of a parkor/ninja obstacle course type thing. For Allison it's like a dressing room, with wardrobes full of gorgeous clothing and a vanity full of makeup, and all this jewellery. Klaus finds an wine cellar or rec room with a wet bar. Five has a study/lab. Ben has a library, but with decidedly different books, with a comfy window seat to curl up in. Viktor has a practice room full of instruments with perfect acoustics. Sometimes it's a shared space, like Luther and Allison's 'tent' in the 'conservatory.' (OMG, my wife just suggested Griddy's is the Red Room, too, ugh)
I would say I'd add it to my list, but OMG, the fics I plan on writing, I can't even. I've been meaning to post a list of all the fics I'm working on/have outlined/want to write someday for Klive. It's insane. Thought about taking a poll to see what people would be most interested in seeing next, but I'm not sure there'd be many people voting lol. Maybe I'll put it up anyway! But at any rate, I'm pretty focussed on the Bomb series at the moment.
Thanks so much for letting me know how you're enjoying the fic. I really appreciate it.
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Could I get MJF headcanons please? 🙏
Oh my goodness, certainly! Thank you so so so so much for sending me this. You didn't really specify what type of headcanons and whew.. These kinda got away from me a little bit maybe?
They're not x rated. Just a lil spicy. A little food for thought if you will.
Warnings: ah.. if i remember correctly, because I wrote these while half asleep... there's not really anything in here that needs mentioning.
Tag List : ahh, well.. There's really not anyone on my taglist for anything I write just now because I kinda just made it. But if you wanna be tagged, please add your name [ here ]
[ my inbox is still open. I write for so many fandoms.. so many it's ridiculous... Headcanon asks only for now, any characters I have listed on my PSA -or if you wanna know if I'll attempt them ask me, and I'll close the box when I've chosen all five that I'm doing this round. this has been fun! ]
I do not consent for my work to be reposted -or plagarized, elsewhere.
✯ He’s probably going to insult you. It might be on accident, it might be on purpose. The reason for this is simple. He likes you and it really bothers him. I mean… it really, really, really bothers him. Maxwell isn’t the kind of guy who really notices a person right off the bat, so if/when he notices you and can’t get you out of his head, it’ll drive the poor bastard insane. This will lead to confrontations in confined spaces, your friends telling you both collectively to just get a fuckin room already and placing bets behind your backs about how long it’s going to take until you finally ‘get a room.’.
✯ “Bite me.” “Is that a challenge?” - yeah, there’s a lot of that thrown back and forth too. The kicker to this is that when you’re insulting / roasting each other, it comes across as flirting. There’s a lot of staring at his lips or his biceps or the way that forest green shirt brings out the multitude of browns in his eyes and on his end there’s a lot of trying to restrain himself when you do that little thing where you pinch and rub the bridge of your nose because he’s got you so damn annoyed it’s bordering on a migraine. Or the way he towers over you, which.. For him to not be a very tall guy, I very much feel that he’s probably drawn to shorter people because he wants to feel like the bigger one, the stronger one, but anyway, where was I? Oh.. Oh yeah.. There’s also a lot of touching. Like he’ll step closer to you, sufficiently blocking off any path you might have to retreat. His hands will stop shy of grabbing hold of your hips to pull you in closer several times and this manifests itself in tightly clenched fists. He once clenched his fists so damn tight while you two were having a confrontation that he left imprints from his nails on the palms of his hands.
✯ He loves to make you angry because your cheeks darken and your nostrils flare and you get this little attitude.. It’s like.. You’re making yourself every bit as tall as you can, you’re looking him dead in the eyes. You’d think he likes a person he can intimidate, right? You’d be wrong. Totally wrong. Holy shit you’d be wrong.
✯ Let’s switch it up a little, shall we? Just because he’s the first to antagonize you, this in no way means that he’s going to stand back and let anybody else do it. If someone is trying to come up on you or they’re being shitty to you, he’ll appear out of nowhere as if summoned by the patron saint of assholes themselves, that cocky smirk on his face as he stands behind you and waits on his chance to insert himself. - Note.. this has led to fights. So many fights. Bby is a grumpy personification of the fight me emoji and we all know that every now and then, he bites off so much more than he can chew.
✯ “I had that, asshole.” & “But did you really? Because it didn’t fucking look like it to me.” - the exchange happens nearly every single time he inserts himself into whatever craziness you’ve been dragged into. You don’t really know why he gets himself so bent out of shape over something you were going to handle yourself but secretly, it gets you just a little hot… watching the way he would quite literally take on the meanest motherfucker around to defend you, who he makes it so painfully clear he hates. Or this is what you’ve come to think.
✯ Try not to imagine him jealous. Or don’t. But it’ll look a little something like this. His hips against yours and his hand beside your head, leaving you literally nowhere to go. He’s fuming, his chest is heaving with each angry breath he takes and he’s ranting as if he has some kind of primal claim over your ass. When you laugh, oh no. Oh no no no no no… Anger flashes in those brown eyes, darkening them. Gonna go out on a limb and say it. If you haven’t figured out why he does the shit / is the way he is towards you, try flirting and living your life. It’ll make him snap and when he snaps, holyyyy shiiiit… The hand beside your head rests rough against your cheek as he drags his thumb across your lips. The kiss that follows is angry. It’s messy and mean and full of biting, sucking and the angry gnashing of teeth as your mouths meet again and again. And then again, because when you finally shove him away so you can at least attempt to process, he grabs your face and crashes his mouth against your mouth all over again. So yeah… If you want him to crack like an egg, make him jealous. Either intentionally or not.
✯ Once you’re finally past all this, – it’s about damn time, if you thought he was protective and borderline territorial before, whew… People aren’t even allowed to breathe in your presence and have him find out about it. If he even thinks this is happening, he will appear as if summoned and waste zero time showing whoever happens to be intruding / encroaching your bubble exactly who he belongs to. Yeah.. Dude is territorial as hell.
✯ His jealousy -and his ego, they both stem from this strong undercurrent of him being one hell of a lot less self confident than he carries himself to be. His whole attitude is a defense mechanism.
✯ He is also surprisingly romantic.. After a few little arguments and you finally convincing the bastard you’re not going anywhere, it’s like this whole other side of the man opens up. Privately, of course. He’s been known to have your favorite chocolates, Midol and whatever else you need on hand at any given moments.
✯ He loves, loves loves to gift you jewelry. But what he loves more than this is to look up at you or catch your reflection in the mirror when you’re doing the deed / riding him and watch the way the light catches on the jewelry, especially if it’s a necklace.
✯ He’s not so much into full on PDA as he is smaller and more reserved gestures. He’s also not the biggest fan of putting every second of your private lives out there for the world to see on Instagram, but he has been known to indulge you every now and then and that bio damn sure reads TAKEN AF or some form. With him it’s more or less the smaller and more intimate things that mean the most. It’s the covert ass grabs or the way he leads you into a room with his hand on the small of your back. The way he’ll always be lingering close by even if you’re not always holding hands or finding private corners in crowded areas every few seconds.
I hope you enjoy these. I had a blast writing them, to be honest. I haven’t thought about/watched or written wrestling in quite a few months.
#le asks#mjf#maxwell jacob friedman#my headcanons ; mjf#my writing ; mjf#so this is me.. attempting to get back into the flow of creativity.#i really hope these work for you.
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I like writing my journal and my class notes by hand. I don't have preferences for paper as long as it's not that overly smooth paper that is hard to write in. My favorite pen is the Pilot G-Tec-C4 (i swear this is not sponsored) because it's a perfect mix of looking smooth and not taking too long to dry and it generally feels good to write with.
I tend to go for thin pens (and mechanical pencils). 0.5mm is what i usually use, but once i got a very cheap 0.2mm mechanical pencil and i figured i would break the lead really often. Luckily once i got the hang of it, it was harder to break the lead of that one than of my 0.5mm mechanical pencil. I'm still trying to find more leads for it because once i ran out of them turns out 0.2mm leads are hard to find!
When i write fic though i write it all in the computer because i like the feel and the sound of the keys when i get really into it and type fast. I like changing up my fonts once in a while to help bring variety to my writing. I like using templates for books and go through pinterest to search photos for the cover that no one else will see.
My process for writing fic is very messy. I usually begin with a skeleton of excerpts i want to include. I add ideas as they occur to me, and i try to place them in the timeline of the fic as it makes best sense to me in the moment. I begin writing in chronological order once i have a few ideas in the skeleton, and i might continue to add to the skeleton as i write out the first parts.
Once i'm done (if i'm ever done) i begin editing, which is the overwhelming part. I usually realize that i need to rewrite some parts, edit out scenes and write in new ones. But often i also realize that it would be better if i rearranged the order of my scenes, so i often feel like i'm pulling out scissors from my pocket and cutting fabric into pieces only to try to sew it together again. Sometimes i picture myself sitting on the floor with mismatched pieces of fabric around me and i can't make sense of anything as i think 'what have i done'. But it usually works.
(Sorry this is too long, i just got excited about the questions. Also thank you for introducing me to kyokao, i had never thought about it before but once i did. Once i did i cannot unthink it. They make so much sense. It's been living in my mind for weeks. Might end up writing for them at this rate)
omg thank you so much for answering!!!! im sorry it took a bit to reply!
love favorite pens heehee I always have the same Uniball rollerballs for writing and Pentel sign pen for sketching. Such a difference in feel between the tiniest change in size!!!
yes yes!!! I love to know people’s thoughts on fonts! Personally I always use Garamond for the like intended-to-be-used prose, dialogue or a passage etc. and some other font (usually a sans serif) for notes and like - SETTING - beat - should do this - or action notes like (she sits, opens to the page) kinda script style.
I loved the way you describe putting together pieces of fabric!!! also this was not too long at all please I love to hear (read) it all!!! thank you!
(also oh my goodness… welcome to our ranks. I was blind but now I see and somehow it makes so much sense to me… I’m so so glad anyone out there agrees though of course no one is ever obligated to!
there’s all the business during the sports festival and later volumes but I think it especially could work looking back at the scene where they look at the others having fun after the Karuizawa mess and Kyoya asks about Kaoru’s strategy, paraphrasing but: “what your plan worked worked too well and they actually fell in love?” “Oh, it’s too soon for that.”
potential energy… I think it doesn’t have to happen but it could!! perhaps it’s too soon! maybe it’ll take a while!! but who knows… they said it themselves their club is full of dummies!
I have a crazy bullet point into chronological order beat list doc that could be a fic or them if I was smart enough to fully realize it….. maybe!! maybe.. but to do it right would take sooooooo long! slow burns can be magic but they take so much work! and in proper Ouran fashion I think every small thing is an epiphany for these guys lol)
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My Anti-Hero by Tijan is now live!
I shouldn’t have agreed to this. What was I thinking?
Appearing on a local news show? Just because something happened to me?
I live mostly in isolation on purpose.
But here I am.
I was so nervous that I needed the make-up chair, twice.
And then I walked past his room.
He’s a giant—no softness, all muscle.
And a rich beard that made me want to rub myself all over it.
He made me see stars, literally because the second time I saw him, I tripped.
Or I would’ve, but he caught me, and the cameras were rolling.
Soon, that clip will be trending because he wasn’t just another guest on the show.
He’s Brett Broudou, the Kings’ newest football star.
We couldn’t be more opposite.
The only special thing about me is the reason I was on the show.
Brett, the Super Bowl champion, and me, the survivor who helped bring down the infamous Midwest Butcher.
Brett might not think he’s anyone’s hero, but he’s about to become mine.
A/N: This is a 140k standalone.
Download today or read FREE in Kindle Unlimited!
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Amazon Paperback: https://bit.ly/48y6363
Amazon Special Edition Paperback: https://bit.ly/3vF2pJ7
Barnes & Noble Paperback: https://bit.ly/428BcKT
Audible: https://adbl.co/3SwbifE
Narrated by: Andi Arndt & Teddy Hamilton
Add to Goodreads: https://bit.ly/47e1zjE
My Review
5 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Wow…this story is so much more than anything I could have ever imagined and it is a perfect example why this author is at the top of my auto-buy list. This story is unique, edgy, intense, sexy, and full of suspense and emotions that kept me glued to the pages! This author had me Spellbound with her powerful story telling. Capturing my mind, body and soul and taking me on this phenomenal journey that stayed with me long after I put this book down.
This Is Willow “Billie” Harm and Brett Broudou’s story and I LOVED IT!
Everyone knew Willow Harm’s tragic past. The only survivor of the infamous Midwest Butcher serial killer, when at the age of twelve she watched a family get murdered and helped put the serial killer behind bars. She has been in the spotlight ever since, whenever the anniversary of the slayings came around or when there was anything about the Midwest Butcher serial killer in the news. But after finally agreeing to appear on a news show for the first time on her own terms who does she run into? Brett Broudou, the newest Kings football star.
“ The guy, whoever he was, had me seeing stars. And I wasn’t like this. Ever.”
Brett Broudou was at the news studio doing an interview and PR for a Charity that he was invested in, when he literally catches the girl of his dreams. A girl he never expected! A girl with some very heavy baggage!
“I’m more me with you than I am with anyone else.”
This story had my full attention and I could not put it down. I loved watching these two scarred characters come together. I loved Brett’s pursuit of Billie since he seemed so out of his element. Brett finally brought the love and protection that Billie always needed. These two are absolutely perfect together! They understand one another! They build each other up! Their two broken pieces become whole together. So much passion and emotion in this story. My Anti-Hero is a true masterpiece, with thrilling suspense, crazy, sizzling chemistry and writing so truly amazing that it will stay with you long after you put this book down. As well as an ending that is… Epic!
I received an early copy of and this is my honest review.
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@ofpowr asked: “ you almost died. ”
This was probably the worst Chuuya had ever come out of releasing Arahabaki, with the notable exception of the first time he'd unleashed it of his own volition in that devastating battle against his unhinged older brother's own corrupted form, Guivre. Of course, he was hearing about the damage second hand, because he was perfectly fine now aside from general fatigue & a small fever, thanks in no small part to Dazai's coworker, Yosano-sensei. It wasn't anyone's fault, Chuuya was well aware of how dangerous it was going in... the weather manipulating Gifted who'd attacked the city a few days prior was completely insane. Once it became clear they were dealing with an exceptionally powerful Ability user, who had summoned a Category 5 hurricane that was big enough to wipe out Yokohama & probably most of the Kanagawa prefecture, he knew he'd need to use Corruption.
Killing the bastard had been easy, he hadn't even needed his full strength to do it. The problem came upon the realization that the storm wasn't stopping after he died. Detective Sherlock or whatever his name was had rather calmly stated that the storm was too powerful to hope it would fizzle out on its own, they needed something that could break through the wall of the storm, get into the eye of it & dismantle it from within — in other words, a high energy Ability based in the realm of physics. The look on everyone's face said, quite clearly, how insane they thought that plan was, & Chuuya was right there with them... yet no one else had any other ideas on how to stop it. Suffice to say, it was up to him. He was honest enough to admit he was selfish, sometimes.
But not enough to scoff at the destruction of his own city, or the lives of nine million people. That said... he could probably add hurricanes to the ever-growing list of things that now sent chills down his spine, as if he already didn't hate being in deep bodies of water. Fuck's sake, that was just what he needed, more PTSD. As per usual, Chuuya couldn't actually remember anything that happened after he activated Corruption. It was like a blanket of darkness washing over him. The last thing he remembered was waking up on a boat, laying in Dazai's arms, which would have been nice if he hadn't been soaked to the bone & in complete agony, the taste of slick blood coating his throat, filling his lungs. According to eyewitnesses, he'd apparently said 'fuck the weather', vomited about half of his remaining total blood volume, & promptly gone into cardiac arrest. Fun.
❝ Been there, done that, got the tedious discharge paperwork to prove it. ❞ The redhead quipped with a weak grin as he laid in the hospital bed, which normally he would hate, but he felt at ease knowing Dazai was present to advocate for him if his coworker tried to do anything he wouldn't approve of. He'd always thought her batshit crazy schtick made her a bit intimidating, & he had a strained relationship with anything medically related from the start.
The almost haunted look on Dazai's face made the mafioso wince at himself, & he sighed, ❝ Close the door & c'mere. ❞ he instructed, beckoning with his fingertips for the brunet to get closer. As soon as he was within arm's reach, Chuuya grabbed Dazai by the coat & yanked him onto the bed, One hand immediately reached for his hip, the other running through his hair in a soothing manner. ❝ I'm fine, sweetheart. I might not ever willingly step foot near the beach again in this lifetime, but I'm okay, See? ❞ He took the detective by the hand & brought it up to his chest, pressing against the center-left, through his shirt, letting his partner feel the strong & steady beat of his heart. ❝ Practically good as new, thanks to your terrifying doctor colleague. I just need a few days, I promise. ❞ he turned his head as best he could & pressed a kiss to the younger's lips, gently.
❝ Sleep up here with me, tonight. It can't be any more uncomfortable than that shitty bed & singular pillow in your dorm room. Then you can see for yourself I'm alright, sound good? ❞
#Injury //#Blood //#ANSWERED || Gilded Letter Opener { Chuuya }#VERSE III | All The King’s Horses All The King’s Men Couldn’t Put Me Together Again { MAIN }#emetophobia //#{ not really it's just blood but it includes the 'v' word so just in case. }#ofpowr#S; Circle Me & The Needle Moves Gracefully Back & Forth / If My Heart Was A Compass You’d Be North { Chuuya & Dazai / nonhumen }
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Get to know me!
First off, I want to say that I am super excited to have a platform where I can anonymously talk, vent, or talk about my life without people getting in my business. I don't know about anyone else but that is a huge relief. I also get to tell stories about things that happen in my life, for your guy's entertainment, and trust me you're going to want to hear some of the crazy stuff that goes on. Let me tell you a bit about myself:)
First, I am staying anonymous but for the time being you can call me Lu. I am a high school student in the town I've grown up in. I don't technically do any sports anymore; however, I am involved in cheer which I have been doing since the ripe years of middle school (and boy do I have stories about that). And I have a pretty close circle of friends, not a ton (or at least real ones lol) and I'll tell you a little about them now. First, we have my two closest friends, Hallie and Kylie. I know both of them from school. I met Kylie freshman year of high school and Hallie this year, also known as sophomore year. They're both great friends and honestly not much happens between me and Hallie. I mean we are best friends so pretty much any of the drama we talk about is about other people. Kylie however has a lot of drama in her life and unfortunately for me she involves me in it.
You don't have to read all of it if you don't want to but here are some questions that sum me up pretty well ;)
What are your hobbies? Cheer, painting, art
Do you collect anything? can tabs ( LOL)
What are you passionate about? Not being underestimated
What is your most prized possession? My phone
What is the greatest accomplishment of your life? dont have one
What is on your bucket list? I haven't made on I should :)
What is your favorite recent memory? Dollywood trip
What is your best childhood memory? can't remember
What is your favorite holiday? Christmas
Who knows you best? Hallie
What family member are you closest to? My mom's mom
What skill would you most like to learn? Sign Language
Where is the coolest place you traveled? Montana
What does your average weekend look like? Sat- sleep all day maybe do something Sun- church and nap
Tell me about your longest running friendship with someone? My friendship with Layla. We have been friends for 15 yrs because our dads grew up together
What is your earliest memory? Going to Pumpkin patch for my sister's birthday
What makes you unique? I am Legally Blind
Who is your hero? don't have one
Who is the smartest person you ever met? My friend Liam
What is one thing that instantly makes your day better? a compliment
When did you first feel like an adult? When I opened my first bank account
Whose opinion do you care most about? My parents
What is the most important decision you have ever made so far? The decision to go on an important trip
Aside from necessities, what one thing could you not go a day without? My phone- I'm going to try it tho
What do you enjoy spending money on? Myself, and clothes
What is something that always makes you smile? Compliments
What are you most thankful for? My friends
What are you most looking forward to? MOVING OUT
What do you wish more people understand about you? That I'm not mean just hurting ;(
What is the greatest challenge or struggle you have ever faced? Gaining my self-esteem after losing like 40 lbs.
What is the biggest risk you ever took? I don't take risks, I should do it more often
Ok well there is some very interesting things, I might not be interesting, but my life definitely is. I'll be adding journal entries in the morning night plus at some point I might add a story from my wheel:)
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The Brothers Have Been Multiplied!!!
Lucifer
Look. In his day-to-day life, Lucifer has always had to struggle with being one of, if not the only, capable person in the room. His brothers don't always try to help him and even if they do their help may just make things worse…
So this should be a dream come true right? Not only does he have competent help, they'll all also himself! Who better to trust his more difficult tasks to, right? Right??
Well… wrong. Unfortunately for as much as Lucifer is, there is one thing Lucifer and his clones just aren't… Good minions.
Complain as he might about his brothers, they know who's in charge. As it turns out five Lucifers in a room can only screw in a lightbulb after they agree on who's giving the orders and being the "original" means nothing at all!
Poor MC gets saddled with mediating the most confusing squabbles in their life between Lucifer, Lucifer, Lucifer, Lucifer, and OG Lucifer (the name dubbed to him by Levi)
So aside from this being a trainwreck for anyone not named Diavolo (who's thrilled to have so many Lucifers to talk to!), it's also a headache for himself too!
The next week is spent with Lucifer literally arguing with himself over who's doing what while the brothers all cower in their rooms to keep from incurring their wrath… Five angry Lucifers is a sentence for certain death, somebody hide Mammon…
Mammon
Lucifer's worst nightmare has been realized… Not only does he live in a world with one Mammon, now there's five! Five!!! Five Mammons!! The world isn't ready for this, no one is!
Of course, a pack of Mammons absolutely get into as much trouble as you think they would. The moment he realized there was more of him, the secondborn was already scheming up what kind of ploys he could pull off with five of himself...
Barbatos is upping the Castle security as we speak...
To his credit, you can't say that the Mammon-squad doesn't have hustle either. It may be either a blessing or a curse to go to five different stores and see a Mammon working there all at the same time, depending on your preference.
(Unfortunately for the brother and anyone with pickpocket-able wallets, it's mostly a curse).
Honestly, the biggest downside for poor MC is that they're all. so. clingy!!
If the MC wants even a minute to themselves, they'll be swatting away Mammon's like a swarm of mosquitos! Better learn an invisibility spell quick, or else their greedy companions will never, ever leave…
Leviathan
Holy cow, it's a gamer's dream come true!! Screw underwhelming AI and goodbye unreliable party members, he has all the team he needs right here!! They should go national or even pro!!!
Ah yes, Levi was truly elated for like, a couple days over this development. Why shouldn't he be? Having a whole herd of himself was a blast!
They're all great at gaming, they like the same things, they dislike the same stuff, and (most importantly) he's not any better or worse than any one of them! There’s nothing to get jealous over, right?
Well slap a big fat wrong on that because there's one thing to always get jealous over and their name is MC!
MC could come home from class one day to find five Levi's all wanting them to do five different things and NO THEY'RE NOT SHARING-
Unfortunately for Levi, the poor guy is so prone to jealousy that he can't even cope with it when he's jealous of himself…
It is at least a little entertaining to watch a pile of otakus fight themselves, it's kind of like watching a deadly game of high-stakes LARP-ing. Just less imaginary spells and more giant sea monsters popping out of nowhere… Someone grab some sponges…
Satan
Which is more likely to rule the world, one Solomon or five Satans...?
Having five Satans around is kind of terrifying… Just one can scheme up a storm and cause a lot of damage so add on four others and you got a recipe for a bad time…
If you're Lucifer, anyway.
In truth, the band of Satans are all about as independent as their original counterpart, so they don't often do things together as a group.
This can create a lot of deja vu scenarios where the MC will swear they've already passed by a Satan in the hallway… like three times.
Unfortunately they also get the urge for affection around the same time, so the MC may go a whole day without seeing them then suddenly get surrounded by needy and bickering Satans at all sides...
When the pack does work together, however, they're a well-oiled machine. Capable, logical, practical: basically everything the Lucfier-squad wish they could be without all the pesky pride in the way!
… until someone ticks them off and they become their own angry mob, but hey, still better than a pack of Mammons.
Asmodeus
… We all know an orgy is happening right? Like, it may not be the first thing he thinks of, but it's on the list. He'd never pass up the chance to selfcest when possible. Never.
That being said, the Asmos actually get sick of each other surprisingly quickly… Only a few days in and they'll be squabbling like crazy!
Why you might ask? Well not for any particular character flaw or anything - it actually boils down to the clothes… and makeup… and face… and attitude... and-
Basically, how in Diavolo's Hell is he supposed to stand out as the world's most singularly beautiful creature if there are FOUR OTHERS that keep stealing his style?? It's a nightmare!!
It didn't take long for the Asmos to start trying to find their own, completely distinct identities like Goth Asmo, Sporty Asmo, Hipster Asmo, etc… All claiming to be WAY better than the original, of course.
As entertaining as it may be to see a bunch of Asmos go through an identity crisis, he wants them GONE and he wants them gone NOW!! He's blowing up Solomon's phone every hour of the day until it gets fixed so better sit tight for a while…
Beelzebub
You know, this is actually one of those, "Worst Case Scenarios" that Lucifer and Dia drew up shortly after they had their Fall: what does one do with five Beels exactly...?
You can't possibly feed them all, at least not all at once… and letting any one get too hungry is asking for trouble.
Do you let them run through the city streets and chomp up its citizens like a game of Pacman? Scatter them to other realms and hope that they don't do a ton of damage? Pit them against each other in "There-Can-Only-Be-One"-style gladiatorial combat??
Well… there isn't really a good solution. Food is still a finite resource but the Beels TRY to be understanding and TRY not to push their luck at mealtime...
It has varying degrees of success, but hey, it's sweet that they're even trying...
Aside from the ever-present threat of being eaten out of House and realm, everybody kind of likes having so many Beels around. They're easy-going and helpful, which generally makes life easier for everyone and like… it's Beel. Who doesn't like hanging out with Beel?
The Beels even get along with each other so they regularly go to the gym and games together. Though it’s not super sportsmanly to switch out Beels between quarters in fangol, it's not technically against any rules either so the past few games have gone very well! (It's he'll, who even reads the rulebook anyway?)
Belphegor
It actually took a little while to notice that there were even two Belphies, let alone five…
MC would walk into a room and see a Belphie sleeping on the couch. Perfectly normal.
Then, they'd go into another a few minutes later to see Belphie napping a chair… A little off, but still okay.
Well sure, but in the next room he's also apparently on the floor too and….
Wait a minute.
Turns out five Belphies is either a breeze to deal with or absolute hell and there's no in between.
If they're all asleep, things are fine. Just artfully pile them on top of each other like dead bodies in a stealth game and move on.
If they're awake, then there's just way too much Belphie! And they play off each other in just the worse ways… The Anti-Lucifer League has never been so active, much to his brother's dismay...
This can be mitigated slightly by pawning a few off on Beel (who is more than happy to mind his duplicated twin) but that solution doesn't work forever…
Moreover, the MC can't sleep anywhere without them all gravitating towards them so even the shortest nap results in waking up under a dogpile of cow-men… It's a wonder they don't suffocate...
#obey me#obey me shall we date#shall-we-date-obey-me#obey me lucifer#obey me mammon#obey me leviathan#obey me satan#obey me asmodeus#obey me beelzebub#obey me belphegor#obey me headcanons
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I like Bakuguo but his attitude is starting to really piss me off. He's talking about Daku as if he's just ~crazy~ and as if he isn't partly to blame for Deku's toxic self-worth issues. It's infuriating to watch. If Bakuguo doesn’t admit out loud and in front of his friends that his bullying of Deku played a part in Deku's current destructive state and if he doesn’t verbally apologize and reaffirm Deku's worth then I can no longer like Bakuguo's character or Hori's writing.
tbh I don't really know why this is the discourse of choice for people all of a sudden, but this is already the second ask I've gotten about it, so I might as well address it lol.
I think fandom is conflating fanon!Deku and canon!Deku here again. fanon Deku is of course much more sensitive and woobified and has much shakier self-esteem. fanon Deku is the one that turns evil in so many AUs because of Kacchan's bullying. fanon Deku is the one that actually jumps off the roof in so many fics, as opposed to fishing his notebook back out of the pond a few minutes later grumbling about how Kacchan needs to think before he speaks or else he could land himself in serious shit one day if god forbid anyone actually does take his cruel words to heart.
and just to clarify before I get any further, I am not saying this to excuse Kacchan's actions in any way, because what he did was still completely terrible and unacceptable and WAY over the line, and what's more he knew it, too. the bullying was still shitty and horrible and awful, and definitely impacted Deku and made him miserable. I fully acknowledge that, and that Kacchan has a lot of atoning to do for it. this is not a "Kacchan did nothing wrong" post.
but that being said, I don't think canon Deku's reckless self-sacrificing nature actually has anything to do with the bullying. I think they're two completely separate things. canon Deku actually has pretty decent self-esteem in spite of everything Kacchan did to him. canon Deku doesn't think he is useless. canon Deku had a wholeass fight with Kacchan less than 10 chapters into the series in which he explicitly spelled it out for Kacchan that he had a lot of worth, and was going to prove it to him. canon Deku was persistent in wanting to become a hero and hoping and believing that he could find some way in spite of being quirkless. canon Deku never let go of that dream even when no one else supported it. I don't think he would have even given up on it after being told no by All Might, tbh -- we just never got to see how it would have played out because of everything that happened with the sludge monster shortly afterward. but he's not the type to ever give up on something that easily, and we've seen that. canon Deku never thought he was useless, but rather wanted to prove to everyone else that he wasn't.
the drive that Deku has to save and protect others even at the expense of his own safety is something entirely separate from that. he doesn't break his body for others simply because he has no self-esteem and thinks that his own life isn't important. he does it because he can't stand the thought of someone else getting hurt, and knowing that he could have done something to prevent it. it's as simple as that. like, Spider-Man has the whole "with great power comes great responsibility" thing, right? and he doesn't have low self-esteem; he simply believes that if he has the ability to help someone else, then he has a responsibility to help them. it's a personal creed. and Deku is based on Spider-Man. his philosophy is based on that philosophy, which was one of Horikoshi's core influences and is one of the core creeds in superhero fiction.
Deku is self-destructive not because he doesn't value himself, but because he is literally physically incapable of standing back and doing nothing if he knows that he can do something. he's the type of person who sees a car speeding towards someone and leaps in to push them out of the way. NOT because he wants to get himself fucking pancaked by a speeding car, but simply because he can't sit back and watch the other person get hurt without taking action. his body moves before he can think. and that's where the whole "doesn't take himself into account" thing comes in -- the fact that his thought process simply stops at "get them out of the way of the car", and never extends beyond that to "hey, and maybe I should try to find a way to do this that doesn't involve me getting hit in their place." to him, that's simply less important than the first priority, which is getting the other person out of the way.
and regarding that last part, while that may seem like a self-worth issue if he's prioritizing everyone else above himself, I think what it actually is just selflessness taken to extremes. like for instance, when a parent sacrifices themselves to save their child, them placing the child's life above their own isn't necessarily because they don't see themselves as having value. rather, it's that they love the child so much that they place their well-being even above their own. and that's what Deku is like as well. except that in his case he cares about EVERYONE, and so is willing to sacrifice himself for anyone. and that selflessness is his defining character trait, and simultaneously the most admirable and the most terrifying thing about him. it's both his greatest strength and his greatest weakness, which I think is fascinating to explore.
but anyway, so that's also why we never really see anyone thoroughly chewing him out for this behavior either. because the thing is, it is admirable how selfless he is. it's just that there's also a reason why most people are at least a little bit selfish. and that's because too much selflessness will ultimately and inevitably wind up getting you killed. at some point you either have to learn when to put the oxygen mask on yourself first, or else find yourself a loyal group of friends (or classmates) to watch your back, and make sure that mask gets on you when you need it. and maybe help you land the plane too while they're at it.
anyway so that was a lot of rambling, but basically it all boils down to three things:
when Deku berates himself for being useless (for instance at the end of the War arc), he's doing it out of frustration for not being able to push the others out of the way of the metaphorical car. that's the kind of uselessness he can't stand. the sitting-back-and-doing-nothing uselessness.
Kacchan's bullying was terrible, and it might have indeed played a part in Deku's choice of the word "useless" as a way of berating himself in these instances, but he is not the one who gave Deku this mindset of taking himself out of the equation. that's something that was already inherent to Deku from day one. (but that said, Kacchan has a lot of things to apologize to Deku for anyway, so if he wants to add this to the list I certainly won't stop him. he gets mad about Deku's suicidal attitude because it worries him, but that doesn't necessarily mean that he doesn't feel responsible for it. people underestimated his feelings of atonement before 284/285, and I think they're still underestimating him now.)
and lastly, one last important note, which is that Deku's current "saving" mindset isn't wrong, just as Kacchan's "winning" mindset was not wrong either. the lesson to be learned here is NOT that being selfless and wanting to save other people is bad. rather, it's the fact that he's trying to do it alone that's got him all fucked up right now. basically when you think about it, selflessness is really just selfishness on someone else's behalf. which means that in order for Deku to be saved, it isn't necessary for him to change his outlook or his selfless attitude, even if it is pretty crazy lol. rather, all he really needs is a good group of friends who are willing to act selfishly on his behalf in return. protecting each other through mutual selflessness lol. teamwork as self-preservation. hence why the U.A. kids are here now.
anyway so yeah, I think that's everything. sorry this got so long and out of control lol. this is just a very specific nuanced thing that's hard for me to express, but which I feel is very important when it comes to Deku's character. Kacchan didn't unleash Depressed Nomad Deku on the world (or at least not in this respect). but that being said, he and the others will hopefully be the ones to nudge him back on the right course again.
#bnha 319#midoriya izuku#bakugou katsuki#bnha meta#deku meta#bnha#boku no hero academia#bnha spoilers#mha spoilers#bnha manga spoilers#makeste reads bnha#asks#anon asks#long post
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