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#mercenary hob my beloved
cuubism · 1 year
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Okay here's a question for you. Do you think Hob is more of a "grab an actual weapon" or a "grab whatever object is closest to him" person when he thinks someone is breaking into his home?
I ask this because we all know that Dream shows up in Hobs living room randomly in the middle of the night at least once and I cannot get the image of him sneaking through his house with like a fucking teapot in his hand and Dream just being like "you think you could hurt Me with a weapon as puny as that"
Anyway happy Sunday and enjoy my weirdass question of the day I guess
i think it's a mix of both, leaning towards the latter. i think hob is probably a scrappy and opportunistic fighter, not to say that he can't use a weapon properly, so to speak, but he's not opposed to using it improperly or using random items as weapons, like he did with the tea tray in 1789. but he does know how to use a variety of weapons correctly and definitely has many weapons hidden in his flat. he's been through too much shit not to 😂. he almost certainly has at the very least an old sword, multiple knives of various types, and at least one illegal gun. they're strategically placed for easy access.
so in summary: if someone breaks into the house hob grabs whatever's closest, but that frequently happens to be an actual weapon 😂
however YES i absolutely need a scene of dream just materializing in hob's bedroom at 3am, and hob, who, we remember, was a soldier for quite a long time and also slept on the streets for like 50 years once, just snaps awake instantly and doesn't think just reacts and yeets the nearest object, which happens to be the nightstand lamp, at dream's head.
dream didn't expect to have something yeeted at his head so he just stands there like an idiot and gets conked by it.
cue hob fussing over him like shit i'm so sorry but also you can't just? appear???? let me see your head do you have a concussion??
and dream is just like. a mere Lamp cannot harm me, Hob. but secretly he's enjoying the attention.
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gabessquishytum · 8 months
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Fun variation on the warprize hob au: Dream and Hob knew each other as teenagers, when Dream was just the prince and Hob was apprenticed to his father in a mercenary band, one contracted to King Time for a few months. They’re basically childhood sweethearts, utterly infatuated with each other from minute one and always together.
Prince Dream constantly makes promises that when he’s king, Hob will be by his side always, would want for nothing, be given every kind of luxury and pleasure, would never have to lift a finger and instead just sit and look pretty. Hob wants all of that, wants it desperately, but knows how unlikely it is to come true, that his time with Dream is temporary.
And he’s proven right, as the mercenaries’ contract ends, so abruptly that Hob has no time to say goodbye or arrange further communications, and the new contract is in a kingdom so far away that communication would have been nearly impossible to maintain anyway. The years pass, Hob grows into a man and a good mercenary soldier in his own right, but still remembers his beloved Dream and his lovely visions of their future. But he’s lost track of which kingdom was Dream’s, and Hob’s kept too busy with one war or another to properly search (kings here take on regnal names when they’re crowned, so he can’t just ask around for King Dream, he’d be known by some other name).
He’s fighting in this latest war, when he’s suddenly grabbed by the other side and taken kicking and biting to the enemy palace and quarters of King Morpheus. Hob is forced to his knees before the king, finally looks up, and is struck utterly still to see Dream, the love of his youth. He hardly notices the guards being dismissed, too busy drinking in how Dream has changed, how mature and regal he’s become. When they’re alone Dream approaches, strokes his cheek, and whispers in his ear “my dearest Hob, it’s high time I kept my promise.”
(The guards feel a little sympathy for the warprize they were told to grab, they don’t blame him for fighting so hard to escape being brought before the Nightmare King. Poor thing was clearly frozen in terror when he was finally face to face with him, and they can’t imagine the tortures he went through as they hear his crying and wailing over the next couple days. When the two finally emerge, everyone’s a little impressed despite themselves at how quickly and thoroughly King Morpheus has broken his new prize; the man is utterly pliant and clinging to the king, seeming completely content to sit on his lap, or on a pillow at his feet, and preen under King Morpheus’ hand, which is almost always touching him)
-🪽anon
Oooh yes this is perfect romance novel material!!!! I'm imagining Dream casually spotting Hob on the battlefield after all these years and he's just like. That One. I want That One. His servants are slightly confused because the Nightmare king doesn't usually take people on as prizes. They feel pretty bad when Hob comes in kicking and screaming.
Nobody sees the way he literally jumps into Dream’s arms like an excited puppy. Dream squeezes him tight and they just roll around the floor like idiots for a while. Hob is like "I can't believe it's actually you!!! Holy shit!!!!" And Dream is laughing and spouting promises about how he's going to pamper Hob and make sure he never has to do horrible mercenary work again.
I'm imagining that Hob would have a wonderful time all snuggled up in Dream’s lap, occasionally giving him military advice (tactician + concubine is such a wonderful combination). It becomes clear very quickly that Hob may be a warprize but he certainly isn't being tortured or abused. He's been very well taken care of, fed the finest food and dressed in luxury clothes, and he's extremely well fucked. He's always sleepy sometimes achy, and he's constantly trying to catch Dream’s attention. Now he's all clean and well fed he looks absolutely beautiful so it's not like Dream can look away from him anyway.
Imagine all the fun they have running around the palace together and having embarrassingly loud sex in all the places they used to hang out when they were younger <33
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making-dough · 10 months
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[ Wish ] - Off to the side there is a lonely well. Perhaps if you toss in a coin and keep it company for a moment, it will grant you a wish?
"Ah, splendid Farina! This wishing well truly is something. I've spent half the night flicking coins and wishing for the same thing: eternal love. Though it has yet to happen, I can feel it on the horizon... My beloved is close, I know it!"
"Anyways, what have you wished for? Something romantic, I presume?"
♠ - Farina swore she must've spent just as long at the well but not to wish. Wishing was something reserved for those who can't actually act on their desires. Though given Sain's repeated failures, she kinda got why he was resorting to wishing. No, what she was after was a bit more practical - namely that people have been tossing coins down the well all night and she was damned if she was about to let those coins go to waste. Unlike these nobles and other hob-nobs, she wasn't rich enough that she could let good gold go to waste.
"Oh, shut up, Sain.", Farina laughed, shoving Sain away playfully. "I'm not you." Though, given by his words... "No luck again tonight? Well, chin up. Miss Right's gonna show up some day." Although, she'd dearly love to corner whomever agrees to actually date him and ask whether they've lost all leave of their senses what makes them think he'd stick to one.
Now, back to her own problem. "Haven't been wishing exactly but if you want to put that way, for riches.", the mercenary grinned wolfishly, turning back towards the well. "By the way, have you seen a bucket around here or something? There's gotta be some way of getting these coins back out!"
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cuubism · 1 year
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(this is the how-does-hob's-immortality-work anon, back with More Thoughts which I will now bother you with. feel free to ignore)
the dichotomy of Dreamling: Hob wouldn't live for Dream, but he would kill for him and he would die for him. Dream would kill for Hob or die for him, but the real challenge is living for him.
an in-depth analysis because I am incapable of not talking for a long time about things:
Hob was a soldier for the first century and a bit of his life, right? but after that, we see zero evidence that he becomes a soldier again. I mean, he still knows how to fight in 1789, but he's not a professional soldier, he has no weapons on him at the time, he doesn't kill the two thugs. and throughout the 17th century, when he's starving on the streets, he doesn't turn to banditry or highway robbery (that we see) — and maybe that's because he's morally opposed to it or something, but that seems unlikely, seeing as he later gets involved in the slave trade. no, to me it looks like Hob doesn't want to go back to the career of banditry / fighting / being a mercenary that he had for his first two centuries. I think Hob doesn't like fighting anymore; I think he's maybe traumatised, maybe he doesn't want to prevent anyone from living life to the fullest because he has all this extra time and he doesn't have the right to take that time from other people. so when I say that Hob would kill for Dream, it means something.
slightly hot take: Hob isn't living for Dream. if something happened to Dream, Hob would obviously be upset, but he would keep on living because he just enjoys life. he isn't going to pine away without Dream. if he were, he would have died centuries ago.
I absolutely ADORE that fic of yours about Dream having to actively keep Hob alive for the bet with Death, and especially the bit where Hob risks his life by breaking into the Burgess manor to save Dream. despite what I said in point (2), I love the idea that Hob will risk his life for Dream because Dream is just that important to him.
because Dream is the Prince of Stories, he sees a lot of life as stories. and therefore he would have no compunctions at all about either killing or dying for Hob, because isn't that the role of a storybook love interest? to destroy anyone who would dare to hurt their beloved is what you do in storybook romance. to sacrifice themselves to save said beloved is the tragic, fitting ending to a story. Dream might even see this as what he's supposed to do.
what Dream does not see as his "job" in relationships is to live. that isn't how stories go; stories are about drama and tragic sacrifice, not the everyday struggle to actually want to wake up in the mornings. (not that Dream wakes up in the mornings, since I'm pretty sure he doesn't sleep, but you get the idea.) but Hob shows Dream what it is that makes life so worth living. Hob helps Dream see the value in humanity/life/whatever, helps him want to keep going for a reason beyond his Duty to the Universe.
in conclusion, I love Dreamling.
sorry i did not mean to ignore you 😶
yes i think hob not being a soldier any more is definitely a fair take. he seems to keep up at least some skills - for self-protection i'm sure - but he doesn't have to be an actual soldier. and yeah my guess is when he was homeless he was probably engaging in petty theft or something but there's no particular indication that he was excessively or needlessly violent (i'm sure he had to do some fighting for self-protection).
hob would definitely kill for dream, tho. he just would, you are right XD but he's not living for dream, it's a case of "i can live without you but i'd prefer to live with you"
yes god i'm always obsessed with the idea of dream living his life according to stories, just mapping what he does onto story tropes and narrative arcs, like, 'yes i can do the big sweeping romantic gesture, yes i can do the noble sacrifice, what do you mean relationships are actually about the small things and the day-to-day. idea rejected.' meanwhile hob is literally all about the small things. much to learn there. and hob doesn't see life as a story the way dream does, or if it is a story, it's not one with a set arc and ending. it's more meandering, easily subject to outside influence.
i think that shift in perspective is baffling to dream but ultimately helpful. it's hard to help yourself when you feel stuck on a certain track. and if there's one thing that hob's learned in so many hundreds of years, it's that there's always some way to get unstuck from wherever you are. these paths are not set.
but yeah the dynamic of them makes me crazy
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