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#men’s mental health
sageexperience · 4 months
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A message on men’s mental health
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*this poll was submitted to us and we simply posted it so people could vote and discuss their opinions on the matter. if you’d like for us to ask the internet a question for you, feel free to drop the poll of your choice in our inbox and we’ll post them anonymously (for more info, please check our pinned post)
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shift-dreamr · 2 months
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Things I feel are important to say, as a bisexual and just as a person.
Have you ever seen men?
The ones with soft hands with long fingers and little calluses. The ones that read poetry, the ones that spend the weekends on nature trails and drawing. The ones with a surplus of big sweaters to envelop in their scent so you can hold them when you’re not together.
The ones that listen to modern pop and hate reading because they can’t focus. The ones that know every word to your favorite song and tell you about the new facts they learned about dolphins or their favorite plant. The ones that hold your hand and love when you call them pretty.
I mean have you seen. Men.
The ones that like sports and could rant for hours about their favorite players’ stats. The ones that listen to dad rock and hate the color pink and will absolutely go out and buy you tampons. The ones that give you their favorite jersey for your birthday because they know you know how much it means to him and how much he wants to see you in it.
The ones that like trying on your makeup and ask you to help them with their eyeliner and mascara. The ones that bring you teddy bears they see and pretty rocks and like cooking for you but they only know how to make one thing. The ones that marathon Star Wars or Avengers and will explain the lore between films, or even as you’re watching.
Men.
The ones that drive fast cars and motorcycles and have loads of tattoos. The ones that probably know how to use a gun but you’re not scared of them at all because they would literally never hurt you or someone important to you. The ones that make you playlists and pretend they’re not fidgeting while you listen to their favorite song because they want you to like it.
The ones that play video games and come up with the strangest call signs and will randomly blurt them during Mario Kart. The ones that play dnd and like Lord of The Rings and of course he wants to go to the renaissance festival with you, no you can’t wear that, it doesn’t match the time period. The ones with the soft stomachs and big arms and the best hugs.
Men.
The ones that go to the gym 5 times a week and get up every morning at 6 am and always make sure not to jostle the bed so you don’t wake up. The ones that absolutely would love to carry your bag, and always sprays his hoodies with your perfume after washing them so they can smell like you whenever they put them on. The ones with the compression shirts and baggy sweatpants and a little stuffed bunny rabbit they got from a friend when they were twelve.
The ones that have the beat up off-brand Doc Martens and the ripped jeans and shaggy hair. The ones that throw their flannel at you when you wake up so they can see you in it while you make coffee and breakfast together. The ones that take you to concerts and writes you songs and holds your hand during your first tattoo.
Men.
The ones that want to paint you and tell you stories. The ones that will lay on your lap while you read them their favorite book and whine when you stop playing with their hair. The ones that want to be the little spoon and cook you dinner and tell you every day how beautiful you are and steal your dresses.
The ones that your family disapprove of because of their hair or piercings or religion or lack thereof. The ones that can make you smile after you fight with someone you love and take you to Hot Topic to pick out a new nail polish and will take turns between you painting their nails and then painting yours. The ones that like horror movies but highly recommend watching Bluey before and after, so you don’t get nightmares.
Men that love with all their hearts. Men that love who they want. Men that dress how they want, and listen to whatever music they want to. Men that are kind and compassionate and know what they want or are working to figure that out.
Men are so beautiful and amazing and I love you so.
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bebx · 9 months
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tw: abuse, victim-blaming, the Johnny / Amber situation
I told myself I wasn’t going to talk about this again. Johnny has moved on and has left that chapter of his life behind and is glowing and healing. and I am so happy, so so beyond proud of him.
so I’m sorry for not being able to help it and having to bring this up again, because not only is it frustrating but it’s also very very triggering to see some people still use those inappropriate texts Johnny sent to his friend, Paul Bettany, in private, to try to paint him as this bad guy they so desperately want him to be. where in those texts he said inappropriate things about her, because he was venting to a friend after he’s been mentally and physically abused by her for years. but hey, since Johnny is a man, it’s oh so terrifying that he said mean things about his own abuser, who happens to be a woman. and therefore these texts alone must mean he was the “bad guy” in their relationship, because he said terrible things about her after he’s been mentally and physically abused for years, and it must mean she was this poor victim even if there’s solid evidence of her having mentally and physically abused him, one of which is her admitting, in her own voice, to having started physical fights, abusing him, calling him a baby when he chose to peacefully walk away instead of fighting with her, and daring him to tell the world that he, a man, was a victim too of domestic violence and see how many people believe or side with him, those were caught on tape in her own voice. let’s not forget those CCTV footages, the police / medical records and dozens of other eyewitnesses who confirmed she was the abuser, not Johnny. or the fact that she was the one who was previously arrested for domestic violence against her at-that-time girlfriend. or the fact she lied and was exposed when she said she’d donated money to sick children (literally I don’t care what she does with her money. she has the rights to keep those money, since it’s hers, and to not donate anything, it’s the fact she lied and literally used dying children as a tool to make herself look good — by saying she’d donated it all when it fact she did not donate anything and was later exposed for it — that disgusts me).
but because Johnny is a man, it’s so vile that he would say terrible things about his own female abuser in private text messages, when he was venting to a friend, because she was abusing him.
look at those tweets from our abuse apologist, Caitlin
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I must say at least the ratio Caitlin has been receiving nonstop (these are only some of them) quite gives me hope in humanity. but I truly hope they learn and educate themself because, god forbid, if they were to find themself in an abusive relationship with someone (and I truly hope they never have to go through that) and were to say messed up things about their own abuser, I genuinely hope no one invalidates their being a victim because they said messed up things about their abuser behind said abuser’s back.
again, this will most likely be the last time I talk about this. so if you sent me something in my inbox, whether it’s to agree with me or to tell me to unalive myself (if you’re one of those abuse apologists who cannot except the fact that women can be abusers and men can be victims and that abuse has no gender) I’d have to respectfully ignore, and move on with my life. because I’m not looking forward to having any back and forth conversation regarding this topic again. Johnny has moved on. it’s over. he rightfully won.
last but not least, I’m happy that Johnny got his justice and is healing, living his best life. I am beyond proud of him for how strong he is and how far he’s come. that man is my strength and my hero.
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fandom-addict404 · 8 months
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Anxiety’s One Hell of a Problem II
It’s the fourth and everyone’s there. Julia, Adam, Jeremiah, Conrad, Laurel, who also brought Cleveland, Belly, Steven, and even a couple of Belly’s deb friends were in town.
The party is bustling with some in the pool, conversation taking place all over the property, and their catered food—since Susannah always did all of the cooking—being shared amongst the people.
Everyone knows it’s different. They all can feel it in the air, the tension, the awkwardness. But Conrad wasn’t only feeling the tension in the air but in himself. He keeps thinking back to Steven saying, ‘have you ever thought of therapy?’ That singular comment has been taking up his mind for days and he can’t seem to shake it.
“Hey, Conrad! What’s up, man?” Cleveland greets, handing Conrad a plate of crackers and various cheeses.
“Oh, hey, Cleveland! How are you? How’s that…uh…book coming?”
“It’s good! You know, those sailing lessons or yours are really coming in handy. Very informative.”
“I uh…I didn’t know you’d be in town.”
“Laurel actually invited me and I thought I’d stop by and say ‘hello’ and see how it’s going.” Cleveland says. Conrad sees that Cleveland has started growing his beard back, with the little stubbles of gray hairs coming in along his mustache and chin area.
“Oh! Laurel, huh.”
Cleveland lets out a nervous yet amused laugh. “Yes, Laurel. I don’t know yet but—“
“Well, you didn’t hear it from me but I’m really rooting for you guys.”
“Are you now?”
“Yeah! Laurel likes you and you clearly like her too.”
“Clearly?”
“Yeah! You’re all goo-goo-ga-ga over her.”
“Says you! I’ve been seeing you stealing glances at Belly all day—“
Conrad’s heart stops for a moment as he clenches his hands onto the platter. “It’s not like that. She’s with Jeremiah.”
Cleveland clears his throat uncomfortably, a pang of guilt hitting his stomach. “Hey, I’m sorry, man. I didn’t know.”
“No, no it’s okay. I’m just going to—“ Conrad sputters looking in the opposite direction towards some people near the pool.
“Hey, Conrad?”
“Yeah?”
“If you ever need to talk, you can always call me. You know that, right?”
“Yeah, I know that. Thanks, Cleveland.”
“You know, when I was dealing with really bad depression, talking to someone—just being able to vocalize that… pain—was really helpful. Losing someone is really hard and—“
“Yeah, I know, Cleveland. Thanks.” Conrad says, cutting Cleveland off. He couldn’t take hearing one more person trying to be his personal psychologist and overanalyze him. Sure Cleveland helped him through his first panic attack during that hot summer day on the boat—one of his weakest moments in Conrad’s opinion—but he wasn’t about to make this all about him. He knew he meant well but he wasn’t about to abandon Jeremiah and Belly when they needed him. Not now and not ever.
Conrad nods and nervously walks off. He takes a breath, rubbing his chest with the heel of his palm and heads for inside where he sees Steven talking with Taylor. Steven is slyly smiling with her as she throws her head back laughing.
Conrad was planning on just walking past them, as they seem to be preoccupied but then Steven spots him and waves him over.
“Hey, man! Sup?” Steven greets, handing him a glass of some beverage, noticing Conrad’s hand rubbing his chest. He hands him his cup of water. “Thirsty?”
Conrad takes it, noticing that his throat has suddenly gone dry.
“Yeah. Thanks, man.” He takes a sip, letting the water cascade down his throat. “How are you? Getting ready for college?”
“Yeah! I’ve been shopping and visited the campus a couple of days ago with my dad. You ready for Stanford?”
“Yeah, yeah. Gonna drive over a couple of weeks.”
“Babe, I’m gonna go find Belly but I’ll see you later, ‘kay?” Steven nods giving Taylor a quick peck before she walks off.
“So, uh…how are you doing, man?”
“I’m good—“
“No. How are you really doing? Like, for real, man.” Steven asks. “You seem…nervous, worried.”
Conrad forces the muscles around his mouth into a carefree expression, though his eyes telling a very different story.
“It’s okay— to feel on edge. The fourth has always been Susannah’s thing and I—“
Conrad leans in swiftly, his muscles in his jaw tensing. “Can you stop? Please. I really can’t do this right now.”
“Conrad—“
“I have been having essentially a 2 hour long anxiety attack, trying to get through this day, okay?! I really can’t take this right now.” He lets out a shaky half-of-a-breath, breaking eye contact with Steven.
“Exactly. Which is why you should at least consider therapy! This isn’t healthy. This suppression, constant anxiety. It’s okay to ask for help, Connie.”
Conrad froze.
Connie.
His mom used to call him that. And at that exact moment, he felt his breath stop. The tremors in his hands become visible, his vision blurring.
Though his mind is in a fog, he feels his feet carry him. To where? He has no idea. Just out of there, away from that conversation.
He ran up the stairs. He felt himself bump into people as he stumble into his bedroom, slamming the door behind him. He leans his body weight against the wall, muttering to himself, “It’s okay, it’s okay. Just breathe.” He attempts at a deep breath though it fails, only making him weaker. “Dammit. C’mon, c’mon. It’s okay. It’s just a-a. A—“ He begins pacing in his room. As his hands begin curling up he spreads his hands as wide as he can, to prevent cramping later. God, you can’t even say what it is! If, you can’t say what it is how are you supposed to stop them?! They’re never gonna end. They’ll just get worse and worse and worse and worse. And Jeremiah will find out and you’ll know how weak you really are. You aren’t any role model. You’re a weak, weak, coward who can’t even breathe—
Conrad’s spiraling was cut off by the sound of someone’s voice. At first, he doesn’t hear, however when they touch his shoulder he feels himself practically jump out of his own skin.
“Conrad? What’s wrong? Is everything okay?”
“T-Taylor?” He sputters, his voice shaking like crazy.
“How about we sit down, yeah?” She gently guides him to the bed behind him. “What’s going on? Do you know what’s happening?”
“I’m having a p-p-panic attack-k.” He stutters over the word and Taylor smiles and nods sympathetically.
“May I?” She asks, hovering her hand over his chest.
Conrad nods and she places her hand over his heart.
“Just try to take some deep breaths, okay?” Conrad nods, following Taylor’s exaggerated breathing. “See? Your heart rate is already slowing down.”
“Yeah.” Conrad replies, his throat scratchy and shaky.
“So have you had that happen before?”
“Um…yeah. A lot, actually. I really should’ve seen that coming.”
“How long?”
“Since last summer.” Conrad pauses to look at Taylor. Her usual snarky smile has been replaced with a calm and sympathetic expression. “I only had one last summer but when I got to school, they got worse, and the longer I was away from home, the more frequent and severe they got.”
“Conrad, I had no idea.”
“How would you? I didn’t want anyone to know.”
“Am I the only one?”
“No. Steven knows, helped me through one earlier this summer and…Belly is aware of one but she doesn’t know…”
“How often they are.”
“Yeah.”
“You gonna come back down or?”
“I think i’m just gonna stay up here for a bit.”
“Yeah, of course.”
“Oh, and if you ever need to talk to someone or feel your anxiety get worse, you can always talk to me but I would highly recommend talking to a professional.”
“Like a therapist?”
“Yeah. It really helped me through my parents’ divorce. Working out all my shit and stuff.”
“I‘ll think about it.” Conrad says. “And Taylor?”
“Yeah?”
“Thanks for helping me. I know you’re not my biggest fan so it means a lot. Truly.”
“No sweat off my back. Plus, this kind of helps.”
“How?”
“Well, now I know you’re not just some random dick, you’ve got shit.”
Conrad chuckles, almost smiling. “Yeah. I’ve got shit for sure.”
Taylor leaves, closing the door behind her, leaving Conrad in his bedroom.
After a moment or so, Conrad looks up “therapists near me” in the google search bar and starts looking through the results.
He then changes his search to “therapists near Stanford University.” and finds a therapist that’s not only near the university but works through the school so he gets it free of charge. Part of the school’s mission and such.
Though there’s still a slight pull on his chest. A new feeling starts to form. Hope. Hope for a happier future, lighter heart, and hope for freedom from all the shit that’s happened to him in the past year and a half.
Could Conrad be…happy? free?
There’s only one way to find out.
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Men’s mental health
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thesubswhisper · 2 months
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Everybody wants a hyper sexual partner until they get a hypersexual partner, and then it might be too much 😞😞
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mimosaapapi · 6 months
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Find me somewhere in the wilderness, smoking a blunt & collecting peace.
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acrylicalchemy · 7 months
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It’s Suicide Prevention Month so let’s share a collection of candid thoughts diving into the war of mental health. Keep fighting. Your treasure is on the other side of your struggle and you may be so much closer than you think 💙
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stardust-musing · 11 months
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My Dad once said, "It's already hard for men to reach out, to be vulnerable, to be afraid to lose something or to even cry a tear. So if you feel any of these things at any point in your life, you let me know." and it stayed with me.
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*this poll was submitted to us and we simply posted it so people could vote and discuss their opinions on the matter. if you’d like for us to ask the internet a question for you, feel free to drop the poll of your choice in our inbox and we’ll post them anonymously (for more info, please check our pinned post)
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manol085 · 26 days
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‘Butterfly’s have no concern for such things Stan. I’m gonna find me some butterfly poon’.
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bebx · 1 year
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to anyone who’s going through a hard time, I promise it will eventually get better. keep going. you’ve come this far. be proud of yourself. be kind to yourself.
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zoomvis · 4 months
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is the cure to male loneliness a revolver pointed to the roof of my mouth
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thesubswhisper · 4 months
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lolz88 · 4 months
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Life advice
Hi, you don’t know me and we’ll probably never meet, but if you’d be so kind as to listen to some words of wisdom please continue reading,
if not have a good day
Trigger warning
Mentions of SA, child abuse, suicidal ideation,
In life, you won’t always be alright, things will be shit, something will go wrong, something will hurt you or you’ll hurt someone and regret it day in and day out
But that being said, life won’t always be bad, things will work out for you, something will go right, you will one day heal, and those you accidentally hurt will heal
And you may not believe that, a couple of years ago I would not have, I would have screamed and swore that nothing good could happen, that I didn’t deserve it and that it was all lies
“But what’s the difference now”? You may ask
“How did you change”?
Allow me to paint that picture
I was born to a First Nations mother and a second generation immigrant father, in a small rundown town, in which my family broke leaving my mother alone with an infant, my life was never meant to be glamorous
Growing up was paycheque to paycheque in a rundown little town, my mom was newly divorced, with my little half brother and a scummy ex who wanted her to suffer, it was rough, then came a little spark of hope, a kind stepfather, 3 new older siblings in a large house in the countryside, it was like something out of a dream, life turned out amazing…
But then it didn’t, at age 5 when I was supposed to be running and playing, I was walking on eggshells, hiding from my adult stepbrother, who had a taste for little kids and used them to take out his anger, I even remember drawing away my stepbrother’s attention from my little brother, doing so without even really knowing why. And the worst part is we thought it was normal, we considered it a daily norm to the point we didn’t even consider telling an adult. I was only 13 when I realized a grown man should have never even considered what my step brother
And we only got away because a teacher who didn’t like my mother called cps, we never even knew why, but when they showed up I was asked to sit down and talk with them, to tell them everything that happened in a day in great detail, I told them every detail with a smile not knowing anything was wrong, and in doing so, my parents found out, or should I say parent, as it came out my stepfather was aware
It was at most a day when we left, moving in with my grandparents, and later moving back to our old home, our home from before. And the worst part is I could go on, that wasn’t my backstory but just the prologue, that’s not counting the 16 years of bullying, the harassment, the 8 suicide attempts, the addiction and so on
So how can I be ok?, how can I wake up and get out of bed?, how am I still here?
It wasn’t therapy, wasn’t medication and sure as hell wasn’t religion, the reasons I’m still here are dozens and yet only 3 are really important, I’m here because I couldn’t miss my mother’s birthday, I couldn’t leave because my dog was sick and needed me, I had to stay because my brother was about to graduate elementary school and he wanted me there, I took all those little moments and the hundreds of others and I held them close, and slowly they began to fill that little void in me
Nowadays I can say I’m ok and mean it, but that’s the thing, I’m ok yes, but sometimes I’m not, sometimes I cry myself sick because I’m convinced I’ll never fall in love with someone, that because of how I look or the way I talk somehow makes me unloveable, sometimes I feel numb, that same feeling I got when I lost hope, sometimes I am reminded of how I struggled and I stumble.
But then, in time, slowly I start to feel lighter, I start singing to my cows in the morning, I’m baking and I can picture a home where someone loves me and I them
And I realize, once again, that I’m ok, and that I will be ok if I fall again
Now one thing to note, I may not have had help, but if you feel anything like I did, you should seek help, I’ve told those story in the hopes that you take away one single concept
That even during those dark painful moments, in the hopeless times, sometimes all you need is one little thing, one insignificant thing that will snowball out till you reach the day you can look back and smile at how far you’ve come
Remember always, no matter what you are loved, valued and important
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