#meanwhile mercury is whooping 'i can tell granddad to SUCK IT; his worries over lineage mean NOTHING NOW' | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sparklecryptid · 1 month

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Imagine how fem!Regis would work in AtB verse.

What I mean is that there are some very confused women because sure they had sex with an LC but that was a woman so how did they get pregnant and also why is their kid sneezing fireballs.

(Uncle Ardyn will have to add a new and very embarrassing part of the Talk for his nieces.)

Ardor's mother: You know I only agreed to teach Regis how to *ahem* perform well because I was certain I would not get pregnant. It seems however that was not to be the case.

Thanatos' mother: If my son destroys the world with whatever invention he makes blame his other mother not me.

Persephone's mother: *vividly imagining setting Regis on fire*

Mercury's mother: ........My kid just set a scientist on fire. With her mind. Well. Guess I have to murder that guy now so he doesn't snitch on my kid.

Bard's mother: *stares at her child who makes images come to life through song* I KNEW something was up when the birth control failed - fucking princesses and their big eyes -

Jules mother: *comforting her crying child because Jules at the age of 6 just sent a bully into a wall.*

Jupiter's mother (who is a member of Clan Bellum and Sonitus' mother as well): Well if shit goes sideways we can always go get the Khara's, huh Kat?

Katrina: *pretending that she does not know about another Lucis Caelum wandering the islands* As long as they don't touch our kids they can do whatever they want with the Queen.

#all the bastards verse #also yes to the uncle ardyn talk #the girls: suddenly aware that magical conception is a thing they need to worry about #ardyn: you see when two people lust after each other very much-#jules turns into a tomato; jupiter wants to drown her uncle; bard and persephone are like; well. not the weirdest thing thats happened #meanwhile mercury is whooping 'i can tell granddad to SUCK IT; his worries over lineage mean NOTHING NOW'

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