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#maybe thats why i think lovers should be friends you can kiss because its coming from my way of feeling? hmmm
puppyeared · 2 years
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weird that the shape of love is two beating hearts glued together and not two hands holding each other
#well technically it comes from the shape of two hearts sewn together but i dont know how that translates to romance.. literally its kinda#disturbing but symbolically i guess it is kind of sweet#my friend and i were talking and she said something about someone saying a lover cant just be a friend you can kiss but i think i disagree#i kind of think the point of a lover IS a friend you can kiss because like it must get exhausting having to convince yourself you can only#feel romantic things towards your lover right? i mean i dont know if my feelings are shaped like anyone else's so maybe its more of a case#by case basis. for me id like someone whose hand i can hold and i can make pancakes for them and maybe kiss but like not strictly romantic#and not strictly platonic. and my feelings are all over the place because one day ill be really into someone i like and another day ill be#really chill about it. so its hard to say what i feel for someone if its always changing#maybe thats why i think lovers should be friends you can kiss because its coming from my way of feeling? hmmm#like i want to be able to say i love you and mean it romantically one day and then say love you in a platonic way the next day and itd be#ok?? does that make sense??? like i know its the same phrase but its like the feeling i put with it is different each time. idk#its why i find dating someone hard because its constantly going up and down and its never balanced. itd probably really confusing unless i#were to date someone whose feelings works the same way. just some food for thought i guess but then again every relationship needs work#im not sure if that fits into the category of work though.. i cant tell myself what im going to feel#it just happens and theres not much i can really do about it except tell that person what im feeling. hnnnnnhhgh#maybe its better if i just stick to watching fictional couples work it out lmao#yapping#txt
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kisses4suna · 2 years
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inarizaki players as your bf ! #
☆ featuring. atsumu, osamu, suna, kita, aran (in order)
sorry kita and arans are short, i got lazy 😭 suna’s part is kinda long bc i love him sm
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MIYA ATSUMU -
- your relationship with him is definitely the “she fell first but he fell harder” type trope.
- i feel like atsumu’s s/o would definitely be someone smart, like really smart.
- he loves just watching you do your homework, he finds you so pretty when you focus on your work, and he just sits there with his head plopped on top of his crossed arms, staring at you in adoration
- you guys probably first met when you were assigned to be his tutor. his teachers had warned him that if his grades didn’t start improving then he’d be suspended from the volleyball team, this was the only reason he accepted tutoring.
- at first you guys probably didn’t get along, but seeing him look so determined to study just for volleyball actually made him kinda cute.
- after a while, atsumu had realized he’d fallen for you too- maybe because he couldn’t get you out of his head- or maybe because he actually started looking forward for tutoring.
- he finally asked you out after a couple weeks- and surprisingly to him, you said yes !
- now that you two are dating, you better brace yourself. because atsumu is probably VERY clingy.
- he constantly tells you to come over to watch him practice, and sometimes he forgets you have your own life, cause he just wants you by his side 24/7.
MIYA OSAMU -
- you guys are definitely the friends to lovers trope !
- osamu would definitely want a partner that’s in love with food just as much as he is- he wants someone that can cook, that can bake, and someone that can finally realize that he is his own person. not “atsumu’s twin brother”.
- he first met you probably at the school cafeteria. (ik a lot of people say cafeteria food is bad but i have a feeling that osamu eats that shi upp 😭 he probably begs suna for some of his cafeteria food cause he actually likes it)
- “hey aren’t you a student? why are you serving as a lunch lady”, he asks. now osamu is a lot of things but most of all- he’s pretty observant. if he sees your face once he automatically knows who you are.
- you told him you volunteered cause they needed an extra hand cooking and stuff and thats when his eyes lit up- you were the one who made the cafeteria food actually taste good.
- he asked for your number so maybe you could talk more about different recipes and different foods you could try together.
- you started talking more and became friends. the moment he really fell for you and realized he likes you was when he asked for you to come over, atsumu was on a run and wouldn’t come back till way later so the house was his.
- when you came over you two just talked casually, and when you started cooking with him, you saw a smile on his face that you’ve never seen before.
- after cooking and eating, you two were cleaning up the dishes, you were washing them, while he was drying them.
- “hey i had a lot of fun today.” he said out of nowhere. “yeah me too, we should do this more.” it went quiet after you said that, and you turned to look at him, he looked like he was thinking hard.
- “this is probably a bad time but i just wanna get it over with, i have a crush on you. its fine if you don’t like me back i ju-“
- he couldn’t even finish his sentence, you turned off the faucet and dropped whatever dish was in your hand and just kissed him. it seemed to sudden but it all felt so right.
- you guys started dating a week after that, atsumu was kinda shocked. he knew his brother had a crush on you, but what he didn’t know was that you actually liked him back. atsumu could’ve sworn you were head over heels for him- not osamu, but then again that’s just atsumu’s big ego talking.
- osamu as a boyfriend is definitely chill- but he’s constantly freaking out in the inside, insecure that you’d leave him for his brother, but he’d never tell you about that.
SUNA RINTAROU -
- suna mfing rintarouuu <333333 (could u tell he’s my fav? hfiajshdak)
- brothers best friend trope with him omgggg !! ur probably the “i hate you” gf and he’s the “i love you too” bf
- imagine being the miya twins’ sister and crushing on your brothers’ best friend !! and him crushing on you backkkk ?!!!?!!
- your brother’s definitely dragged you to sign up as manager, and when you got the position you remembered that suna rintarou is also apart of the boys volleyball team.. yeah you have had a crush on him for a while.
- you first met him when your brothers invited him over to your house, you didn’t think much of him at first, sure he was attractive but he was quiet, didn’t say anything to you, just a small wave when you were introduced to him.
- he started to come over frequently, but still said nothing to you- you didn’t mind though. at that time you haven’t formed a crush on him yet.
- it wasn’t till his 7th? visit to your house that he said something to you that wasn’t a “hey” or “excuse me”. the moment was quite embarrassing however.
- you were getting dressed to go to your friends house, when all of a sudden your door opens with suna rintarou just standing there. it takes both of you a whole minute to process the situation and that’s when embarrassment strikes, “oh my god.. im so so so sorry.. uh i was looking for the bathroom, wrong room sorry..”. he seems calm on the outside but on the inside this man is literally going insane. yeah okay maybe he’s thought you’re kinda really cute, but he didn’t know you enough to like you, so what was this ? a small crush i guess.
- “its uh fine..”, that’s when he closes the door and practically tried to erase any memory of whatever the hell just happened. after that moment, you were finally dressed and when you left downstairs you had tapped the back of who you had thought was one of your brothers, “hey im going ou-“ it wasn’t til he turned his head, you noticed that wasn’t in fact one of your brothers- but instead the man who had just seen you in your undergarments a couple minutes ago.
- flustered still from what had happened, you quickly apologized and told him that you thought he was one of your brothers. he excused it. “hey wait, where are my brothers ?“ you asked, “uhh atsumu’s shitting.. and osamu ran to get snacks in the store.” you giggled at him, and started small talk.
- after that you and him constantly had your little small talks every time he’d come over to hang out with your brothers.
- you both kinda developed a crush on each other because of that..
- when he saw you at the gym, he thought you were there just to watch your brothers practice but when he heard you were becoming the new manager- he saw this as an opportunity to get even closer to you.
- this boy broo 😭 constantly flirting with u during practice istgg!!
- he will never do it in front of ur brothers cause for some reason he’s scared of them 😭 ??
- literally gets you flustered any time he can.. like he’ll do that thing where he wipes the sweat by lifting his shirt to show off his abs AHHHHH… and boy does he notice when you look at him .. pls he knows he’s hot and attractive
- this boy is literally WHIPPED for you, even before you two started dating, he did anything to get closer to you. he’d ask to use the bathroom during practice just to end up going to the water fountain where he’ll see you filling up water bottles and ask if you need help!! he’d also block hard spikes on purpose just to get his fingers to get injured so he could go over to you and ask you to tape them. (probably does that on purpose just so you could hold his hand..)
- the moment he asks you out is just out of nowhere. he’s walking you to your class while you tell him about how your day is going, all of a sudden he just stops walking, “anyways my next cla- rintarou? why’d you stop?”, you asked, he begged you to call him by his first name btw. “y/n i like you” he blurted it out of absolutely nowhere. the minute he said that the bell rang and his stupid ass thought you didn’t hear him 😭
- so he pulled you in closer and whispered in your ear, “i like you, a lot, will you let me be your boyfriend.”, you didn’t know what to say, so instead of saying anything you just pulled him in for a long kiss. “yes. duh.”
- dating him is literally SO FUNNN!! he does anything and everything just for you <33
- he’s definitely the type to barge into your class, disrupting the lesson and your teacher just stares at him, “can i help you?” is all she says and he just says, “yeah i just wanted to say hi y/n” its literally so embarrassing but he loves it smm, all of your classmates just go “oohhhhhhh” and you literally whisper “i hate you” even though he can’t hear you, he could read it off your lips.
- he does little shenanigans to try and impress you <333 like he would stuff your locker with little toys and treats and add a note like “meet me in the rooftop pretty ;)”.
- he probably bangs little pebbles against your window in one of your classes, so when you look out the window during class you just see him holding a giant sign thats like, “hi y/n”
- he decided to give hush money to literally the whole school to not tell your brothers you two are dating 😭 and it took your brothers 5 months to find out you and rin are dating, and they only found out when they barged into your room only to find you and suna making out on your bed.
- to say the least- they were not happy about this, and continued to threaten suna (jokingly obvi)
- during the time your brothers didn’t know about your relationship, suna would sneak into your room late at night to cuddle with you, sometimes he’d sleep over and wake up extra early to sneak out of your house, just to not get caught
- this man probably knows about the sidewalk rule !! he is also very hygenic and probably smells like vanilla 24/7 ( i swear i love me a man who actually smells good )
- as a boyfriend he’s probably very clingy, but will never admit it. he just wants to be with you all the time. his love language is probably physical touch and quality time.
- in summary he is very much in love with you and cannot deny it. he is quite perfectly best boyfriend material 😫 <33
KITA SHINSUKE -
- probably childhood friends to lovers !! <333
- you two are like two completely different people 😭 ! kita is more calm and collected, meanwhile you’re a little chaotic and all over the place, but trust me thats what he loves about you!
- you’ve been friends since day one, and probably met cause your moms were good friends, which led to you two meeting at a young age.
- as you two grew older, you stayed friends and you often visited him at his grandma’s, you helped kita and his grandma doing chores. you were pretty clumsy to say the least and you always apologized for it. you’d think that kita was mad about it but he thought it was cute how clumsy you were.
- you both matured throughout time and ended up going to the same schools. it wasn’t till your third year of high school that he finally confessed to you at graduation. it took him so long cause he was VERY nervous- but with the help of his volleyball team, they pushed him to confess to you!
- dating kita shinsuke is an absolute dream come true!! this man will do anything in his power to make you happy.
- i just know that he uses all 5 love languages <33 and especially acts of service and words of affirmation! he constantly reminds you of how much he loves and adores you, and uses the smallest things to remind you that too, like massaging your back after a long day, buying your favorite flowers even if theres no occasion, and overall making you happy.
ARAN OJIRO -
- aran omfgbsjhdbs he is so fine oml
- i feel like you guys would def be that friends w benefit shit
- you’re ALWAYSSS flirting but whenever people ask u if you’re dating you’re just like “whatttt??? nahhh we’re just best friends, nothing more!”
- i swear to god “friends” my ass BECAUSE YOU TWO ACT LIKE YOU’VE BEEN DATING FOR YEARS !!
- you’d literally drink out of the same cups, cuddle n shit, make playlists for each other and all that couple stuff !!
- every time you guys say you aren’t dating it hurts both of you a little bit. its so clear that you both have feelings for each other, but not one of you dare say anything!!
- the only way you two started to admit feelings was when atsumu got so pissed at the whole “we’re just friends” shit that he accidentally let it slip, “y/n god how stupid can you be?!!?! aran literally LOVESSS YOU.” it didn’t take you long to run over to where he was.
- “y/n do you need someth-“ you cut him off just by saying “be my boyfriend” and thats when he placed his hand on the back of your head, pulling you in for a kiss.
- you guys automatically started dating and let me just say that this man has to be second best boyfriend material next to suna he literally worships you. like he would kiss on the ground you walk on.
- he is so in love w you, like you can’t tell me otherwise.
- tbh your dynamic with him didn’t change, only because you guys acted like you were dating before you did !!
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janelleclouds · 1 year
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i think about my life and cringe
its very weird to i reread old feelings. i thought i always was going to stay in a certain state of mind. in my head i thought i was a fucking badass for saying what i felt but at the end of the day, right now it makes me feel like a fool. i didnt know where life was going to take me. i honestly never thought id lose my dad so soon. it still hurts. the third anniversary is around the corner. i graduated college two years ago. ive been in love for a year now. im happy with him. i love him to death but im also scared im going to love him to death. ofc i have my fears, who doesnt? its only natural. i just know i want his babies and when that time comes, i hope hes made me his wife and forever partner. im scared i blossomed in life too late. im 25 and in the “prime of my life” but i cant help but still feel like a teenager. i think my mental timeline has halted. i feel like im living the same week over and over again and again. i feel like the best of life has yet to visit me and i it. idk. perhaps im too content with the simple life. but i also dont wanna be in the clubs. 10000% would rather watch movies and make pancakes with my lover than be out and about . im scared ima let life with friend and other pass me by because im too focused on the love in front of me. its weird to think i have no social life but for as long as i can remember, i could not get along with any friends more than a year. every close thing to me had an expiration date. and maybe thats why my fears kick in with my person. the year marked passed and i feel like im just waiting for the shit to hit the fan. i know it shouldnt be that way but still... it feels like my next chapters are just me purposely waiting in the waiting rooms of my life. a psychological doctors office.
Dont get me wrong. im very happy but i think im scared of life. i was sheltered my whole life until i was 20. it think that has to fuck u up lol. i dont even drive yet. that shit should tell you something right there. but look at the end of the day im grateful where i stand, a very cute, in love, lovely girl who gets to go to work and have little people ( children ) say they love me and how i am. i cant really get better than that. i love that i get to kiss my partner and feel the love transfer back and forth to each other. i feel happy that i get to wake up and just be me. i feel like me. i love being me. 
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lolawassad · 2 years
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Hey, I see you doing a lot of Murphy imagines lately, could you do a Bellamy x reader? With smut?? Maybe a modern au in college, I haven’t seen many of those. Established friendship then one night they hookup?
One friends to lovers coming up!
Happy reading!
Bellamy x reader smut
Tw. Smut, cussing, fluff MINORS DNI PORN WITH PLOT
3rd pov
Your walking arm in arm with octavia before she spots lincoln "he is so hot" she says to you, you roll your eyes "and bell's enemy" you tell your friend "but lincoln totally likes you" you add afterwards.
Octavia turns to you and kisses your cheek before rushing to lincoln and hitting on him, bellamy scoffs from behind you "really? You had to tell her?" He asks rolling his eyes, buff arm wrapping over your shoulder and pulling you into his side.
You just smile "they are in love bell, you should try it sometimes" you say before pulling him with you 'if only you knew' bellamy thinks while biting his lip
Girls glare at you as you walk past, which makes sense bellamy rejects everyone who tried to make a move on him and you are one of the only lucky girls he blesses with his presence.
You reach your locker, bellamy leans against the one to the left glaring at lincoln "let it go big man, also i have math what about you?" You ask, bellamy catches lincolns eye and quickly slides his thumb across his throat "you. Are. Dead" he mouths to lincoln
Y/n slaps his chest "be nice bell" she scolds "thats my sister" he says while pointing to octavia who is now hanging onto lincolns arm
You beam "finally" only to be glared at by bellamy "no y/n no"
You close the locker after grabbing your math book and bellamy takes the book and holds it "i can-" bellamy just shushes you and pulls you into his side again arm over your shoulder and walks you to math
"I got math too" he tells you, you smile again but run into someone "sorry" you and murphy both say at the same time, his friends raven and emori giggle "what a kluts murphy is" they say in sync
Murphy smiles bashfully at you "i see we math again" bellamy cringes and glares at murphy but you giggle "that was awful, but im sure miller would like it" you say before pulling bellamy with you into math, forcing him to take the seat next to you
"So uh.. Murphy huh?" He asks, you nod "he and miller have totally been hitting it off, its really sweet, john went from dickhead to sweet angel just by miller kissing his cheek"
Bellamy sighs in relief, you look confused "i thought i was gonna have to fight off another guy wanting you" he confesses "i dont want you dating" he says 'anybody but me' he wants to say but keeps quiet.
You playfully scoff "so protective" you grab your book from his desk and open it, then the schoolbel rings again.
Murphy yells out "if the teacher isnt here in 10 minutes we can leave guys"
Finn whoops while holding his girlfriends, clarke and lexa "hell yeah free period"
Y/n frowns making bellamy put his hand on her shoulder "whats up sweets?" He asks, you shake your head "i suck at math, i need the teacher to come so they can help me out so i dont fail the test" you bite your lip
Bellamy stares at your lip before he decides to pull your lip from your teeth using his thumb "you'll just hurt your lip" he uses as an excuse because he cant say 'that makes my cock stir' "im fucking great at math, ill help you if the teacher doesnt show up okay? Its last period anyways" he says
Then he realises he hasnt seen you all day "why havent i seen you today yet?" He says curious, you bashfully look down "i had to go to the doctor because... i fell down the stairs because i tripped over my own feet" you whisper the last part
Bellamy frowns "because what" he doesnt ask he demands "what the fuck happened, are you okay?" He asks concern lacing his voice
You nod "i.. I tripped over my own feet bell, i fell down the stairs and i had to see a doctor who sent me to the hospital because they wanted to take an xray of my leg, im all good though" you say
Then finn speaks up again "10 minutes over lets goo" the half of the class whoops and almost everyone rushes out
Bellamy takes your book and carries it again, he grabs your bag too and throws it over his shoulder before wrapping you in his arm and walking you to his dorm.
"You sure u okay? Baby im very strong i can carry you" bellamy says when he now knows your hurt, you just giggle "bell im fine the doctor told me to just walk it off, it was like five steps" you reply
It starts raining five minutes away from the dorm and when you arrive you both are soaked
you take off your shoes and bellamy walks to his closet, he grabs his favorite shirt and throws it to you "go put it on dont need you getting sick" he says, you walk into the bathroom and take off your midi vintage dress leaving you in just your bra panties and socks, you take off your frilly socks too, and put them in the empty dryer, you put on bellamy's shirt and it reaches just above your knees.
You walk out of the bathroom and bellamy looks you up and down, he walks into the bathroom and puts his clothes in the dryer as well before turning it on.
You sit on his bed and open your math book, bellamy walks out of the bathroom and sits down behind you, he closes your math book and pulls you so your sitting between his legs, your back against his chest "lets just watch a movie, ill help you later yeah? Its friday we always watch a movie then" bellamy says
You nod your head and melt into his touch, he grabs his laptop and opens it only for porn to pop up, he slams it close again but you open it and press play
Bellamy looks at you but you ignore his gaze, its a video of a girl who looks like you being fucked by a guy who looks like bellamy "y/n" bellamy says "i can explain"
You just shush him and watch as the guy chokes the girl while pounding in and out of her, you softly squeeze your thighs together, a move that doesnt go unnoticed by bellamy
He softly reaches his hand out to your naked thigh and squeezes making you gasp, he lets his hand travel higher until he reaches your panties
You grab his wrist "i dont wanna do this if this will result in us not talking anymore" you say shakily, bellamy starts kissing your neck "baby i want you, i love you" he confesses "i wanna fuck you and then take you out on a date" he says "please let me"
You nod your head, bellamy's hand wraps around your throat "use your words" he demands "yes please, i love you too" you say making him smile before he kisses you
You let go of his wrist and his hand slides into your panties, his fingers slide between your folds and you moan into his mouth making him growl.
He pulls his hand away and stop kissing you making you let out a whine, he gets up and pushes you to lay on your back on the bed and closes the laptop
He smirks "you always looked so fucking sexy in my clothes" he says before diving onto you again, holding himself up with his left arm while his right hand goes back to your cunt, he slides his finger in again and goes back to kissing you.
He slides in another finger and hits your g-spot making you scream out, he stops kissing you to just admire your noises for a bit
He grabs your face using his left hand "eyes. Open" he demands, you do as he says making him smile "look at my pretty girl" he says making you clench around his fingers "you gonna cum? Cum for me and ill give you my cock, princess"
You grab his head and pull him in for a kiss before cumming all over his fingers "good girl" he praises before licking his fingers clean.
He reaches over and grabs a condom, he lays it on the bed and takes off your panties "next time i want you fully naked, but right now, you look damn good in my shirt" he says before stripping naked
You stare at his cock " 's not gonna fit" you say making him laugh cockily "ill make it fit" he says, he strokes his cock a few times before putting on the condom.
He gets on top of me and kisses my forehead "you ready?" He asks sweetly "yes so ready" you practically whine out making him smile
He slides into you carefully, he stops when hes halfway "you okay baby?" He asks when he sees your eyes shut tightly and mouth wide open, you nod your head "yeah yeah" you sputter "more please"
He slams in all the way and holds himself there for a bit "can i move, princess?" He asks wiping your hair out of your face and kissing your cheek
"Yeah move please" you say, he first starts softly thrusting into you but you shake your head "like the video, please, please" you beg
"And who am i to turn you down when you beg so sweetly" bellamy says before he starts pounding into you, his hand wraps around your throat and sqeeuzes, not too hard but not too soft
It doesnt take long before your cumming again "gon' cum gonna cum" you say making bellamy sneer out "fucking ask me if you can cum"
"Please can i cum please" you beg as your hands tightly grip the sheets, bellamy smirks "yeah, go ahead and cum like a good girl" his words and pounding into you make you cum right away.
Then its bellamy's turn "not gonna last long pretty girl, your so fucking tight, fucking sucking me in" he says before he shoots his cum into the condom
He pulls out making you whine "too sensitive"
He just smiles and throws the condom away
"Lets get you something to eat drink and then a bath, little angel"
I hope that was good? I hope you liked it 👉👈
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Hellooo! This is my first time asking for a request here! And I've only recently found this acc and I've enjoyed reading your fics ever since. As for the request, can I ask an angst scenario about vegeta x reader where vegeta treats the reader like trash because he doesn't know how to express his affections properly and they're both lovers (bulma's with yamcha btw if thats okay). Until one day, the reader just couldn't handle his actions and is tired of being treated like shit so she snaps at him and ignores him all day. Its up to you how it ends but it'll be great to have it fluffy.
So this turned out really long! I hope this is what you were looking for! My inbox is open for requests everyone :-)
Y/N sat, grinning, as Bulma, Yamcha, and Krillin tittered about Bulma’s most recent science venture.
“Look, all I’m saying is that I need a new test subject! You’ve been through worse, right? It’s also a paid position,” Bulma said.
“No way!” Krillin said. “Why don’t you use Yamcha? Your boyfriend, your guinea pig!”
“Krillin, it’s a hair growth serum,” Yamcha said. “You’re kinda the only one who fits the bill, pal.”
“Oh haha. You know I can grow hair, I just shave it all off.”
Y/N laughed along with Bulma as Yamcha and Krillin started to squabble. Bulma nudged Y/N’s hand, and she looked over at the bluenette.
“You know, you’ve been over here a lot, lately,” Bulma said.
“It’s nothing,” Y/N assured. “Just want to spend some time with some old friends.”
“You sure? You know, last time you were always visiting because of-”
Y/N raised her hand and shook her head.
“Yeah, I know. He’s still an ass, and I’m not gonna lie, it is nice to get away from him somet-”
A sudden impact shook the ground and the group. Krillin and Yamcha were the first to stand, with Y/N gripping the table and Bulma falling to the ground. Y/N scoffed, looking out into the flying dust. She spotted the hazy outline of a blue aura, and Y/N groaned as she helped Bulma up.
“Speak of the devil,” Y/N muttered.
“Earth woman!”
Y/N sighed as Vegeta’s figure quickly crossed the field. She crossed her arms and glared at him.
“Well, well. Done knocking yourself around for the day? Come to say hello, Vegeta?”
Vegeta scowled.
“Shut up! And who do you think you are, wandering off and not telling me?”
“Knock it off man, she’s just hanging with us,” Yamcha said. “Nothing’s gonna happen to her while we’re around.”
Vegeta ignored Yamcha and marched to Y/N.
“You should know better than to leave the house without telling me first, Y/N. I can’t train and make sure you don’t get yourself killed,” Vegeta barked. Y/N rolled her eyes and sat down. She grabbed her drink and looked Vegeta in the eye as she took a sip.
“Look. I’m fine. You don’t have to start an argument every time you see me, you know. How about you sit down with us? That way you know where I am and you can relax,” Y/N said. Vegeta scoffed before turning his back.
“As if I’d waste my time here. You want to stay with your pathetic little friends, fine. Go ahead. See if I give a damn,” Vegeta called over his shoulder. Y/N watched as Vegeta marched to the mound of dust and dirt he landed on, and she rolled her eyes again as he took off.
“He seems to be in a good mood,” Bulma said, dusting herself off. Y/N nodded before sighing and leaning back in her seat.
“He’s been a real ass lately. I don’t know what’s gotten into him,” Y/N said. Bulma patted Y/N on the back. Yamcha shook his head, and Yamcha scoffed.
“He’s not exactly Mr. Congeniality, Y/N,” Yamcha said. Bulma pulled Yamcha by the ear.
“And you’re the boyfriend of the year, huh?” Bulma asked. Krillin and Y/N laughed. Y/N then cleared her throat and rose to her feet.
“Well, it’s been fun, but I should probably get going. Vegeta doesn’t need any more reason to start yelling,” Y/N said.
Krillin stood to hug Y/N.
“Don’t let him push you around,” he whispered in her ear.
Y/N nodded and waved at Bulma and Yamcha before excusing herself to fly off to her house.
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………..
The sun started to set by the time Vegeta arrived home. He walked in, expecting dinner. What he found instead was Y/N washing dishes and setting them out to dry.
“Woman.”
“I have a name,” Y/N said.
Vegeta ground his teeth and continued.
“I take it you haven’t cooked today.”
Y/N didn’t look up; she moved to the cabinet and grabbed a glass to pour herself a drink.
“I did cook. And then I cleaned the pots for you. Here you go,” Y/N said. She gestured to the pots and utensils on the counter, then passed Vegeta to go sit in the living room. Vegeta followed her, stomping as he went.
“And do you really think I’m going to do my own cooking?” Vegeta said.
Y/N raised an eyebrow at him.
“You will if you want to eat. You know, maybe if you weren’t such an ass today, I would have made enough for you to eat, too.”
Vegeta crossed his arms and glared at Y/N.
“I’m an ass? How about you, gallivanting around without a care in the world?” Vegeta said.
“I was just with my friends, Vegeta,” Y/N said, rolling her eyes. “You know, I don’t want to argue with you. I’m going to bed,” Y/N said. Vegeta followed her to their bedroom, and he leaned against the door frame and watched as she tucked herself into bed.
“So that's it then? You're just going to ignore me for the rest of the night? Vegeta asked. Y/N said nothing, running her hands over her face.
“What happened, Vegeta? Why are you acting like this? You know, first I thought the whole “loose cannon, lone wolf” thing was kinda cute, but now, you’re just plain mean. What is it? Do you not like me anymore? Am I just another “worthless human” to you now?”
“Shut up! You don’t know what you’re talking about!” Vegeta thundered. Y/N nodded, eyes drooping wearily.
“Yeah,” she said. “I guess I don’t know what I’m talking about. You know, I thought people were wrong about you. You were sweet for a while, at least to me. Guess that’s all down the drain, huh?”
Vegeta opened his mouth, then closed it. He grabbed Y/N’s doorknob and turned on his heel, slamming it shut behind him. Y/N sat in the silence for a while, before sighing and laying down.
The sun shone in Y/N’s eyes, rousing her from her sleep. She yawned and stretched, and then listened. The house was eerily quiet.
“Weird. Vegeta doesn’t go off and train this early,” Y/N said to herself. She walked into her living room, and found Vegeta sitting there, flicking through channels.
“Good morning,” Vegeta said.
Y/N stayed quiet. Vegeta continued flicking through channels, only stopping when Y/N came to sit next to him. His eyes slid to the side, examining her, before going back to the television.
“I’m not training this morning. I think I need to take the day off,” Vegeta said.
Silence fell over the room, with Y/N kicking her feet against the couch.
Vegeta shook his head.
“Look, about last ni-” Vegeta began. When Y/N said nothing, Vegeta scowled to himself and huffed.
“Forget it,” Vegeta said. He started flicking through channels again, and Y/N crossed her arms. Finally, she spoke.
“Vegeta. Please?”
Vegeta exhaled sharply through his nose, set the remote on the couch next to him, and turned to Y/N.
“Well? Done ignoring me now?” he asked.
“I want to talk to you. I’m tired of yelling at each other. I just…don’t know what to say. What’s going on with you?” Y/N asked.
“There’s not a damn thing wrong with me. You’re the one creating all the problems. All I want is to keep you safe, and you call me silly. I want to know where you are, is that so bad?” Vegeta questioned.
Y/N fell silent, squinting her eyes. She placed a finger over her lips and sat before she spoke.
“Vegeta, you want to keep me safe. I can get that. But you don’t have to be…you don’t have to…” She sighed, rubbing her eyes before continuing. “Vegeta, I understand that you want to keep me safe, but I do have friends. I’m safe with them.”
“And what if you aren’t? If you’re out and I don’t know or I can’t reach you in time, and something happens to you, what am I supposed to do? Have you even thought of that?” Vegeta said, crossing his arms.
Y/N tilted her head and leaned on Vegeta’s shoulder.
“Vegeta. All I’m asking is that you loosen up a little. You can come with me. I’ll try to communicate with you more, but I also can’t be cooped up here forever,” Y/N said.
Vegeta grumbled but said nothing. A light pink dusted his cheeks, and Y/N smiled and leaned in to kiss them.
“I love you, you know,” Y/N said. A dark rose took over Vegeta’s face and neck, and he sighed as he faced Y/N.
“Yeah. I know.”
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hwangsies · 3 years
Text
zephyr
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(n) a gentle breeze
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pairing: seo changbin x female reader (hwang hyunjin x female reader)
genre: rebound to fwb to dumbasses to lovers(?), college!au, undergroundrappers!3racha
warnings: angst: mentions of infidelity, heartbreak and abuse, seemingly unrequited love, they are both so dumb and prideful its annoying, fluff, bad attempt at comedy, minsung on the side, cursing, alcohol consumption, smut: protected piv, oral (f), studio sex, praise, mild degradation, hair pulling, mild spanking
wc: 10k
enjoy <3
-
September
"y/n?" you hear your roommates faint voice calling out your name.
You dont bother to answer because you know she's going to come into your room at any second now.
And you're right. "y/n??" Your door opens a few seconds later.
You groan in response, not looking up and instead staying in your little cocoon of blankets.
"no babygirl what are you doing?" you feel the bed shift under lias weight when she sits down.
"what does it look like i'm doing?" you grumble back, her hand gently rubbing over your arm.
"sulking, babe" she replies, dropping her purse to the ground.
"10 points for griffyndor" you sniffle as you scooch and sit up, pushing the blankets half off of you at which she sighs.
"wooyoung was not that good of a boyfriend for you to still be crying over him" lia presses her lips together concernedly.
She's right, you know it. It has almost been two months and you still feel like crying everytime someone mentions him.
"i know" you nod somewhat defeatedly "still, i was with him for almost a year and" you hiccup "he literally ripped my heart out and trampled on it"
"i know" lia nods understandingly "but i do think it would help if you went out again, even if its just for a night, you know just to be around people"
"it probably would but i just dont have the energy for it" you shrug your shoulders.
"i get it, girl, i really do" she pats your knee "both of my exes cheated on me, my only luck was that they were both awful at hiding it so i found out pretty quickly" she huffs.
You force out a chuckle, from what you heard from one of the girls that wooyoung cheated on you with, was that it started 3 months into your relationship.
"this the most humiliating thing ever, lia" you scoff "being with someone for so long, trusting them and telling them all your secrets and you think they are doing the same for you but then realizing that they were faking it all along to have multiple side chicks, and the fact that i was too oblivious to figure it out is the icing on the cake" you rub your forehead, feeling a migrane approach due to the sheer amount of crying you've been doing.
She seems to know what's happening and hands you the water bottle next to your bed "hydrate, sis"
So, you do. Taking four big gulps out of the water bottle.
Once you place the bottle next to you and tie your hair in a messy bun, you look at your roommate more thuroughly now that the tears are wiped away.
"you look pretty" you compliment her makeup and casual yet chic outfit "what'd you do tonight?"
Her contagious grin spreads over her face, eyes turning into little crescents.
"chris took me to the fair in town" lia grins before her face drops "I'm sorry, this is maybe not the time to ta-"
"No! It is, tell me about it" you interrupt her.
"O-okay" she nods hesitantly "well, i dont know if you've been keeping track but today was our fourth date and it was amazing" she gushes.
"I cant believe how much i like him, like, its crazy" she squeals a little, at which you giggle.
"so, fourth date huh? And he hasnt tried to get into your pants yet?" you quip.
"nope, i initiated our first kiss and other than that nothing" she whispers the last words before laughing.
"thats great" you smile, genuinely happy for her.
"Hmm yea" she sings as she gets up "i'll go to bed now too"
"Oh, hey, i have an idea" lia speaks up when standing in your doorway "chris has this performance thingy in two days, you should totally come!" she offers enthusiastically.
"he has a band?" you ask, partly to distract her from her offer.
"Hmm not really a band, they're a trio and there is this performance on saturday where a bunch of underground artists perform, i didnt fully listen if im honest" she giggles "but you should come with me!!" she jumps excitedly.
"i dont kno-"
"y/n pleasee? You'd do me a huge favor too because i dont know anyone there" lia pleads, clutchig her hands together.
"you know chris" you rebuttal.
"and what am i supposed to do when he's performing? stand around like an idiot? please y/n" she pouts.
"I dont really think this is my type of crowd..." you scratch your head.
"please please please" she jumps once more.
You sigh and tilt your head as you look at her sternly.
"one of his friends is single" she adds carefully.
"and cute" she sings "from what ive seen in pictures" she adds.
"lia" you groan.
"I'll do your laundry for two weeks if you come with me"
"you will?" Your head snaps towards her.
"yes i will! i promise, just come with me, please?"
A long sigh leaves your lips "okay"
-
The strong bass of the loud music rings in your chest as soon as you step foot into the club where “3racha” is supposed to be performing tonight.
Lia comes to a halt and you almost run into her because you were to busy checking out the venue and the other people around you.
“sorry” you mumble and hold onto her arm to avoid getting lost in the crowd.
She pulls out her phone and clicks on her and hers and chris’s chat, to figure out where to meet them, you assume.
“okay” lia puts her phone back into her jeans pocket and grabs your hand “they’re backstage, lets go”
“can we just go there?” you almost yell for her to understand what you’re saying.
“yea! Chris said he’ll make sure we’ll get in, come on” she tugs at your hand for you to walk faster.
You waddle behind her, barely dodging some drunk guys beer that goes flying before you arrive at the sign that says “artists only” and a black curtain behind it.
The guy standing infront of it raises a brow at the two of you before pointing at said sign “read ladies, no fans allowed”
“hey, they’re with me” a guy, you assume to be chris, taps on his shoulder and shows his artists badge, half of his body still covered by the curtain.
The bigger guy sighs and lets you through.
“thank you” lia lets go of your hand to loop her arms around chris’s neck once behind the curtain, they kiss and you look around.
Not because you are particularly uncomfortable, maybe still just a little bitter at happy couples.
You audibly clear your throat when they are still making out after a good ten seconds.
“oh-uhm” lia looks back at you after breaking the kiss “chris, this is y/n, y/n, chris” she giggles.
“hi y/n, nice to meet you” he gives you a quick hug and a smile full of dimples, finally understanding why your roommate is always swooning about him.
“hi” you smile back, somewhat forced.
“lets go to our dressingroom” chris suggests and leads the way.
Opening the door, he lets you and lia walk in first.
One guy is dancing around in the middle of the room, singing along to the current song that’s being played in the background with a water bottle as a pretend mic.
Another is one sitting on the small couch and laughing at him.
“oh, hi” the guy stops singing and quickly hides the bottle behind himself at which chris chuckles.
“guys, this is lia and y/n” chris points at the two of you before closing the door behind him.
“ooo the lia?” the waterbottle guy wiggles his eyebrows, at which you cant help but laugh as well, he isn’t very tall but looks lean.
“what is the lia supposed to mean?” lia laughs when chris comes up and slings an arm around her waist from behind her.
“I..well-I talk about you sometimes-“
“sometimes my ass” the guy sitting on the couch scoffs amusedly, your eyes shift to him.
He’s wearing a white baseball cap and a pretty tight fitted black Versace shirt, making his shoulders and arms look broad.
His hands clad in black half-gloves, he adjusts his cap before locking eyes with you and quickly looking down again.
“channie hyung must’ve forgotten his manners, I’m jisung” the waterbottle guy speaks up “and that’s changbin hyung” he points at the most intimidating-looking of the three of them, on the couch.
“channie?” lia squeals as she sits down with chris on the couch changbin is sitting on as well, jisung coming up to you.
“hey, you want something to drink?” he asks, pointing at the mini bar feigning cockiness  “we have a mini bar”
“woow” you chuckle, playing along “sure I’d love a drink”
“how come we’ve never met on campus before?” jisung asks after mixing you a vodka soda and sitting down on the second couch in the room.
“oh, you all go to uni here as well?” you ask surprisedly as you sit down next to him..
“yea” he grins “that’s how we all met” he points at lia and chris almost sitting on top of each other “and those two”
“oh I didn’t even know that” you take a sip, trying to loosen up “I guess I wasn’t listening when she was ranting on about him”
Jisung laughs and changbin joins the two of you as he sits down next to jisung.
“they just started calling each other bubs I feel like throwing up” changbin groans as he drinks from his beer.
You huff before jisung speaks again, looking from his friend back to you “he’s usually more romantic” he quips.
“I bet” you joke with him.
“yup” changbin locks eyes with you “that’s why I’m single, I’m just too romantic” he shakes his head sarcastically.
“ooh” you squint your eyes “emotional unavailability? love that in a man” you grin, at which his eyebrow quirks up amusedly.
“speaking of man, did minho hyung text you when he’d be here?” jisung asks his friend.
“yea he said he’ll be here in 5 and that you should finally buy a new phone” changbin answers, reading it from his phone at which jisung scoffs before turning to you.
“minho is my boyfriend” he explains “he’s hot” he grins at which you laugh “I bet”
“so, y/n, do you have a boyfriend?” jisung asks after taking a sip of his drink
“not anymore” you scoff, jisung inhales excitedly “guess what, changbin is single as well” he grins from ear to ear, comically looking back and forth between you two.
“oh, please dont start like lia” you chuckle, leaning forwards to lock eyes with changbin “no offense, but I only attract assholes”
He shakes his head, amusedly raising his brows “none taken” he grins at which you huff before a young woman comes into their dressing room to tell them they’re up next.
-
Back in the crowd, you and lia find a good place just as the lights dim and the music begins to play.
Suddenly you feel someone run into your side “woah I’m sorry” he quickly apologizes “this guy pushed me” he looks behind him.
“its alright” you nod, loud enough for him to hear.
Once they come outside, the crowd goes wild.
“jisungieee” the guy next to you all over sudden screams, you have to smile when looking at him.
“are you minho by any chance?” you ask him.
He nods aggressively “yea! do you know jisung?”
“I just met him backstage” you yell over the loud bass.
Minho laughs and nods before the bass drops and chris starts the first verse.
“he’s great right?” lia screams into your ear when the first chorus ends.
“yea” you nod, actually surprised at how good their music is, now understanding as to why the crowd loves them so much.
Changbin starts his verse and suddenly you feel somewhat entranced, his voice is rough and his bars are hard, definitely fitting his appearance but what entices you is the passion with which he appears to be performing.
Throughout their whole performance you cant take your eyes off him, the way his arms flex when he grips onto the microphone a little harder or the way his jugular sticks out when he growls into the microphone.
Not to mention the thighs you somehow didn’t notice in their dressing room, you watch them strain against his leather pants and feel even hotter suddenly.
Their last song ends and lia is quick to be in your ear about going backstage to chris again.
“oh you know chan hyung?” minho overhears and chimes in.
“yea she’s his date” you point at your overly excited roommate.
“changbin just texted and said they’re upstairs in the vip lounge, come with me” the brunette holds out his hand for you to take, which you do and grab lia with the other one.
“do you know where you’re going?” you ask minho after a minute of pressing yourself along sweaty dancing bodies.
“yea! they’re here a lot” he yells back “its right over there” he points to a flight of stairs where yet another bouncer is standing in front of.
“hey minho” the bouncer greats him with a fist bump “these girls are with you?” he points at lia and you.
“yea” he nods.
“trying something new, I see” he laughs atw hich you frown.
“oh, nono” minho chuckles uncomfortably “I’m still with jisung”
“ah-alright well, have fun” the bouncer moves after looking you all up and down, letting you walk up the stairs.
“wow, you’re famous” lia giggles at which minho huffs and shakes his head amusedly “yea, for being the only non-straight person they know”
“baby” you see jisung jump up from his seat in the spacious lounge as soon as you enter.
“hii” minho holds out his arms for him to run into, you cant stop yourself from smiling when you see jisung jump into his boyfriends arms.
“lia, y/n come over here” chris waves at the two of you.
“you were so good, baby” you hear minho praise jisung behind you as you walk over to the large round sitting booth where chan and changbin are sitting.
Lia slides into the booth and cuddles into chans side “you were awesome” she squeals as you sit down on the other end and grab a fresh glass from the middle of the round table, holding it next to changbins where he’s pouring cherry vodka into.
“can i get some?” you ask, he glances at you and smirks before silently filling your glass with a  double shots worth of the slightly rosy liquid.
“so, how did you like it?” he asks as he leans back, taking a swing of his drink.
“you guys were really good” you nod “to be honest I didn’t expect such high quality music”
He laughs, leaning his head back a little, his adams apple bopping with it.
You cant help but notice the sheer sheen of sweat that expands over his thick neck, obviously coming from their escapades on stage just now.
“what did you expect? a bunch of drunks playing wonderwall on the guitar for more drunks?” he grins, straight white teeth on display.
“hey, don’t come for wonderwall” you raise your hand jokingly at which he laughs.
“I wouldn’t dare” he raises his hands comically.
“hey” you whip your head around to see jisung and minho “scoot, please” jisung speaks again.
“oh-yea” you grab your drink and scoot further into the half circle-shaped booth.
“so what do you study?” changbin asks, his voice catches you off guard because you hadn’t calculated how close you’re sitting to him.
You turn to him to realise you’re close enough to smell his perfume and aftershave.
“uh- I- art” you answer shakily before taking a sip of your drink just to pull a face afterwards.
“jesus christ” you cough a little and hold your chest as changbin laughs.
“its stronger than you’d think” he grins “can you handle it?” he teases when your eyes get a little watery.
You stare at him for a second before playfully rolling your eyes “im good” 
His eyes trace over your face as you look around before he breaks the silence ”i can get you something else if you want” he offers.
“oh-uh no, I’m just being dramatic its fine” you chuckle.
“so...what do you study?” you change the topic.
“I’m majoring in music” he says, stretching out his arms over the backrest “all three of us are”
“oh, so you like, produce all your own stuff?” you ask, your eyes jumping to where his forearm touches your shoulder, that’s leaning against the backrest.
“yea, channie hyung composes the most, me and ji write a lot” he explains,
“thats really cool” you nod, looking over to the mentioned guy.
Changbin follows your eyes and huffs when the both of you see him and your roommate sucking face again.
After a few seconds they stop and giggle before standing up to go somewhere.
“where are they going?” you huff.
“I guess they want some alone time” he chuckles, lifting the arm close to you to take off the cap he’s still wearing.
You flinch when his forearm brushes your shoulder.
“are you scared of me?” he asks slowly, stopping his movements, cap still in hand.
“no- no” you shake your head, chuckling “I- its just been a while since I’ve gone out and I don’t know” you shrug “I feel a little lost”
“hm” changbin cocks his brow at your words, running one hand through his dark brown locks.
You divert your eyes from his bulging bicep back to his face quickly when he speaks again.
“any reason why?” he leans back again.
“oh, just a shitty ex and a shitty breakup” you shrug “I’m gonna spare you the details”
“aw, no please, tell me he had a small dick and everything, now im invested” he jokes.
You tsk at him and push his arm playfully, feigning annoyance.
“that still doesn’t answer my question as to why you jumped like that when my arm touched you” changbin raises his brows expectantly.
You open your mouth to speak but-
“we’ll go get some more to drink” minho interrupts you at which changbin nods.
“so?” he asks again, once minho and jisung leave.
“did that ex hit you? give me his address I’ll beat him up for you” changbin deadpans.
“no” you shake your head after taking another sip “he didn’t” you huff incredulously.
“its just- you look kinda scary” you blurt out finally.
His eyes widen before he falls into a boyish laughter, which you cant help but join.
“me?” he points at himself before laughing again, the image you had made up in your mind about him cracking.
“yea!” you raise your brows “when you look like this” you furrow your brows and lightly squint your eyes to mimic his resting bitch face.
“what the-” he splutters laughingly.
“stoop, don’t laugh” you hold onto his forearm, still giggling yourself.
He calms himself, subconsciously scooting closer to you in the now empty booth.
“maybe scary wasn’t the right word” you snicker, looking down.
“I think the word you were looking for was: sexy, hot or mysterious, maybe handsome-” he quips, grinning to himself when you start laughing again.
“no, no, I know what I meant” you joke back, just now noticing how close he is, his knee touching yours as his whole torso is turned to you.
“so none of my suggestions are accurate?” he cheekily raises one brow at which you scoff playfully.
“maybe one or two” you see his eyes jump to your lips.
The air suddenly feels thick around you with tension, changbins tongue darting out to wet his plump bottom lip while his eyes are still locked on yours.
You breathe in before the two of you lock eyes again "so…are you gonna kiss me, or just stare?"
He raises his brows at your sudden boost of confidence, grinning amusedly.
"what happened to me being scary?" he counters before urging you to swing one leg over his thighs with gentle hands.
You take a seat on his lap, straddling his thick thighs before looping your arms around his neck "i dont know, i think i'm into it" you quip.
His hands wander up your waist "well then i wont make you wait any longer" he grins, looking at your lips one last time before closing the gap inbetween you two.
You meet him in the middle, changbins grip on your waist tightens when his plush lips land on yours.
He pulls you closer to him, pushing his tongue past the seam of your lips.
You can taste the cherry vodka on his tongue but it riles you up even more, sucking at the wet muscle before his hands wander over the swell of your ass and each grab a handful of the flesh; your short skirt riding up when you subconsciously grind against his lap.
“be careful” he mumbles against your lips, gently tugging down the piece of fabric so you don’t expose yourself to bywalkers.
“where’s the fun in that?” you cock your head to the side teasingly.
Changbin scoffs and leans in again but you get interrupted by jisung.
“hey, we-oh” you whip your head around.
Jisungs frown turns into a grin “uh” he chuckles “we dont mean to interrupt but chan hyung texted minho and they’re going to your place” he points at you.
“ugh, seriously?” you mutter.
“I’m sleeping at minhos so, hyung you’ll have our place to yourself” he winks at changbin.
“so, we’re out too, have fun you guys” minho waves teasingly as jisung drags him away.
For a second you stare after them, until a gentle squeeze at your waist makes you turn around again.
“you could come over to my place if you don’t want to go to yours right now” he offers, eyes flickering to your lips when you bite at your lower one.
-
This is usually like not you, letting some guy you barely know take you home.
But here you are the next morning, looking up at the ceiling, changbins room flooded with daylight.
You sit up and look at the still unconscious changbin next to you. His blanket had fallen down and exposes his toned torso, barely covering his private parts.
A tingle forms in your lower abdomen when you think of what happened here a few hours ago.
But you pull yourself together and start looking around for your clothes.
You spot your bra on his desk and your skirt and shoes on the floor, gently shimmying out from underneath the blanket; you grab your skirt and slide it on without your panties, not being able to find them anywhere.
Right as you clasp your bra behind your back, changbins morning voice makes you flinch “you would’ve just snuck out?” he grumbles, rubbing his eyes as you look back at him.
“what? did you take me for a breakfast lover?” you quip as you slide into your shoes, looking around for your shirt.
“damn, that’s cold” he chuckles lowly, sitting up and watching you stride around his room.
“where did you put my shirt?” you ask, bending down to look under his desk.
“maybe you should worry about your panties first” he snickers, eyes glued to your core when you look back at him.
You kiss your teeth and straighten up quickly, having forgotten about your lack of underwear.
“not that that wasn’t a great view just now-“
“you’re not helping” you interrupt him, eyes lighting up when you spot your shirt in the hallway.
“why so serious all over sudden?” he grins “last night you were everything but tense”
You scoff as you pull your shirt over your head and stuff it into your skirt before grabbing your purse and phone.
“I have an exam in 2 days and I haven’t studied yet” you exhale.
“I could drive you home-“ he runs a hand through his messy hair.
“I’ll call a cab, uhm- thanks for last night” you hurriedly smile before walking out.
“bye” changbin calls after you, frowning and dropping back down onto his bed when he hears the door shut behind you “have a nice day I guess” he mumbles to himself.
 October
You cling your jacket closer to your body as you walk through the howling wind the seasonal change had brought with it.
When you arrive at lias faculty building you take out your phone to see if she texted you about when her lecture would be over.
lia : hey babe, chris took me to his place -received at 4:17 pm
You roll your eyes, typical you think.
you : are you serious? you begged me to walk home with you -sent at 4:25 pm
You see her the little blue bubble pop up, indicating that she’s writing a message.
lia : im sorry!! please don’t be mad, he surprised me :((( -received at 4:25 pm
You scoff and turn off your phone before slipping it in your coats pocket alongside your hands. Typical, you think, ever since that night at the club the two of them have become inseparable and lia cancelling on you had become a regular thing. You are happy for her but you also miss your friend.
“y/n?” a familiar voice calls after you right as you start to walk away, you freeze and turn around.
“yea?- oh” you swallow harshly when you see changbin walk your way.
“hey” he smiles brightly and you have to bite back a grin at the cute beanie he’s sporting alongside his slightly red nose due to the cold weather.
“hi” you smile timidly.
“you never texted” he tilts his head at which you nod.
“yea, sorry I actually never got your number” you look at the ground “uh- what are you doing here?”
“oh um im on my way to the studio” he points at a nearby building “that’s the music faculty”
“ah okay, well” you lock eyes “have fun then” you turn around again, ready to walk away.
“hey” he catches up with you “you wanna join me? check out some of our new stuff?” he burries his hands in the front pockets of his jeans.
“I don’t know, changbin I really don’t want to date right now-“ you start at which he chuckles.
“I didn’t ask you to marry me” he stops in his tracks, grinning when you do as well, locking eyes “come on, I just need an unbiased opinion on some new tracks” he tilts his head.
You inhale before looking around you “I could drive you home after? So you don’t have to walk through this weather?” he offers, raising his brows at which you purse your lips.
“alright” you give in, changbin smiles and extends his elbow for you to hold.
You simper and coyly hook your hand around his arm as the two of you start walking.
-
“this is awesome!” you point to his laptop a minute after he played the first song for you.
Changbin grins bashfully and leans back into his desk chair “you think?”
“yea, the hook is super catchy” you bob your head as his eyes fix on your profile “you’re really talented, changbin” you catch him blushing before putting on another song.
After a few other songs, he takes off his headphones when you take off yours.
“can I ask you something?” he asks, you glance at him.
“you just did” you quip at which he huffs, “sure” you nod.
“how much of that night do you remember?” he fiddles with one of the rings on his left hand.
“why?” you ask back.
“well, you seemed really upset the next morning so I got kind of scared that you didn’t actually want it and I kind of took advantage of you” he recalls the night the two of you spent together.
“oh, no. you didn’t take advantage of me, I wasn’t even  drunk and I would’ve told you if I had changed my mind or something. That was just the first time I ever spent the night at a guys house for a one night stand” you absently pick off some fuzzies from your jeans.
“plus I had just come out of a relationship so I was a little too emotional anyways” you chuckle.
“alright” changbin nods “just wanted to make sure” he smiles down at his hands “cause I remember all of it”
You whip your head, scoffing when you see him with a shit eating grin on his face.
“hm” you feign ignorance as you lean back “I don’t know, there wasn’t a lot to remember” you grin mischievously.
He laughs out loud, leaning forwards “no?”
You shake your head, pursing your lips comically “nah”
“cause I remember you shaking and screaming” he grins.
You shrug your shoulders “weird, must’ve faked it” you deadpan, fiddling with the headphones you’re still holding.
Changbins tongue prods on the inside of his cheek, huffing when he catches you grinning.
“right” he grins slumping into his seat a little further.
A thought flashes in your head when your gaze drops to his crotch and thick thighs, you swallow some spit in frustration as you feel your core getting hotter.
He was right, the night was amazing, maybe that was even part of the reason you stormed out the way you did.
You clench your thighs for some relief, anything really.
“want me to refresh your memory?” your eyes jump up to meet his, you open your mouth but nothing comes out; do you want him to?
Yes. Yes you do.
So, you get up and straddle him on his chair: his hands instantly gripping at your hips, pulling you closer.
“someones eager” he grins, pushing some of your hair behind your ear.
“shut up” you whisper before crashing your lips onto his.
Changbin groans when you tug at his hair, inviting you to slip your tongue in between his lips and grind your hips over his crotch.
He hisses before propping himself up on one armrest and holding your lower back with the other as he stands up; you squeal but he holds you before sitting you back down on the desk, next to his laptop.
“now who’s eager” you grin when his hands find the waistband of your leggings and tug them down with your panties in one.
He huffs as he bunches your leggings and panties around your ankles before slipping underneath the fabric barrier and inbetween your legs.
“by the looks of it..” he runs a finger through your wet folds “still you” he quips before pushing one finger in without warning.
You moan, you head dropping back onto the hard wooden surface.
“look at me” changbin orders as a second finger prods at your entrance, you whimper but prop yourself up on your elbows.
He curls the two fingers and pumps them almost violently, the palm of his hand smacking your clit with every pump.
“oh god-“ you yelp, your eyes scrunching together as your hips buck up.
“its changbin but god is fine too” he quips as he lowers his head, you curse at him, even though you have to laugh a little.
“you’re so annoy-ah!” you cry out because suddenly his tongue is lapping over your swollen clit, sucking on it forcefully when you claw one hand into his already messed up dark locks.
“fuck-bin- gonna cum” your hips stutter and you feel the pleasure that’s blooming in your tummy is getting ready to snap.
“mmh” he humms against you “cum then, baby” he moans, knowing full well what the added vibrations are doing to your body when your chest arches and your mouth drops open.
Your cries fill the studio as you clamp down on his fingers; he rides your through your high, holding down your hips with his unoccupied hand because you squirm with the euphoria that’s filling your veins.
“good girl” he mumbles, removing his fingers from you before bringing them up to your lips “now, suck them clean for me, yea?” he grins, lips and chin shiny with your cum.
-
“finally” you huff when arriving at 3rachas lounge in a club out of town; where they had just performed “this club is huge” you breathe, jisung scooting and changbin letting you squeeze past him to take a seat in between them as they chuckle.
Lia and chan already lost in their own world again as she drags him to the dancefloor, squealing when chan teasingly squeezes her sides as they disappear into the crowd.
“they are made for each other” minho sighs, sitting down and giving jisung the second beer from his hands.
“I know right” you lean back, breathing in.
“you’re still out of breath?” changbin laughs at you at which you hit his arm.
“stop it, oh my god” you feign annoyance “you know how exhausting it is to dodge beer bottles and not loose lia? she’s like a Chihuahua, I swear, you loose her once and its over” you chuckle, jisung and minho laughing too.
“you just don’t have any endurance, woman” changbin grins teasingly.
“that’s so not true” you laugh incredulously “what about two nights ago-“
“AH-“ jisung interrupts you, placing his hands over his ears “please spare us your sex stories, I hear enough of that when you’re over, babe”
You huff and changbins cheeks turn red.
“you guys are fucking?” minho asks, eyebrows raised as he takes a swing of his beer.
“good job keeping up, baby” jisung pats his boyfriends thigh teasingly at which he tsks at him.
“are you together or what?” minho props his elbow on the table to support his chin with his hand as he looks at the two of you expectantly.
“no, we’re not” you chuckle somewhat uncomfortably before looking over at changbin who just grins awkwardly.
“just here to be a good friend and keep the groupies away” you joke “right?” you nudge changbin with your elbow at which he nods swiftly, looking down again.
“yea, baby don’t be so old fashioned” jisung teases his boyfriend who just rolls his eyes playfully.
“speaking of groupies” minho mutters, spotting a group of girls just before they approach the lounge.
“hey jisungie, you wanna dance?” a pretty blonde girl bats her eyelashes as she leans down a bit to expose more of her cleavage, making jisung grin.
“baby, you’re gorgeous but I’m very gay” he nods apologetically, “Oh” she straightens up “really? You sure?”
You and changbin have to bite back a laugh when jisung nods again “very sure, thanks though, for coming”
She shrugs and looks at changbin “what about you? Wanna dance?”
“uh-“ changbin starts but you cut him off “he’s with me actually” you tilt your head.
“for real?” she stems her hands into her hips as she looks back at her posse, scoffing.
“yea” changbin loops his strong arm around your waist and pulls you closer to him “that’s my girl, so a little respect, please”
“aww” you coo dramatically as you play along, putting your hand on his jaw to turn his head towards you before you lock lips.
“whatever” you faintly hear the girls voice get quieter when changbin slips his tongue in between your lips.
“they’re gone” you hear minho but changbin pulls your legs to dangle over one of his thighs as he grips your waist.
“guys” jisungs voice only registers in the back of your head when changbin sucks at your bottom lip and you run your fingers through the hair on the back of his head.
“can I get you some more beers?” the waitresses voice pulls the both of you out of your trance as you break the kiss abruptly.
Jisung laughs, shaking his head at the both of you before turning to the waitress “we’ll take a round of shots I think”
  November
 “fuck-harder” you gasp “..mhh binnie-shit” you moan while changbin pounds into you from behind, gripping your hip tighter with one of his hands; the other one migrating up your back to gather the legth of your hair, twisting them before he pulls at their root.
You groan when you feel your hair getting pulled back, neck stretching as he picks up his pace.
“like this? fuck you love this don’t you?” he breaths ragged, but you can hear the dirty smirk that lingers on his lips every time you have rough sex..
You moan out loudly when he releases your hair and pushes your torso down onto the mattress, your hand pulling at the sheets , needing something to grip and release the pleasure.
“fuck- answer me, slut” he grunts and delivers a harsh slap to your ass.
You cry out “yes-yes-fuck-love it” you desperately gasp as he leans down to you, earning a low chuckle which sends shivers down your back.
His lips latch onto your shoulder blade and start sucking on the skin until a purple mark blooms under his lips.
“fuck” you let out a strangled yell when the hand on your hip makes its way to your front and he started circling your clit with his fingers, the pace and firmness matching his thrusts.
You cry out for him as you clench furiously around his cock “that’s a good girl” he whispers, only letting go of your clit when you flinch in overstimulation.
“cum for me- fuck baby, cum for me and let the others know who’s fucking you this good” he rasps in your ear. Not 5 seconds later, your orgasm ripples through you and you would’ve collapsed completely if he wasn’t holding you up.
You’re still panting when both of his hands go back on your hips and push them down, laying you flat on the mattress before he picks up his pace again with his last left strength to reach his own high.
“shit- y/n“ he grunts when you tighten around him again and you feel him filling the condom with some drawn out groans and a sharp hiss.
After a few seconds of nothing but heavy breathing filling the room, he pulls out and falls next to you on his bed.
You wince at the soreness that’s already presenting itself when you turn around on your back, looking over to him; you watch as he ties a knot in the condom and throws it into the trash next to his desk.
“kobe!” he exclaims gleefully at his perfect throw before looking back at you to see if you saw.
“jesus christ why am I sleeping with you” you hold your hands over your face, hating the fact that it made you laugh.
He gasps, feigning to be offended “that’s not how you speak to the guy that just made you cum three times”
“you are so full of yourself, seo changbin” you shake your head amusedly as you sit up.
“wait, I’ll clean you up” changbin is quick to rise from his comfortable position to grab some tissues from his nightstand.
“come here” he mumbles, gently urging you to lie back down before carefully wiping your own cum off your inner thighs and mound.
You watch him as he gently moves to wipe the tissue over your puffy folds, your hips jumping a little when he accidentally passes your clit.
“sorry” he grins, pressing a kiss to your angled knee; at which you feel your heart lurch forward a bit.
Woah, wait.
You’ve been seeing changbin just for sex for almost two months now, you’ve even gone with him other performances and after parties to keep groupies away and be his arm candy and never has your heart done this.
Mayday. Abort mission.
“should be good for now” changbin shrugs, shooting you a sweet smile before turning away from you to also get rid of the tissues.
You use the opportunity to shuffle to the side of his bed and slip on your panties before grabbing your bra.
“hey, you wanna leave already?” changbin asks “I thought we could hang” he tucks his hand under his head as you look back at him, clipping your bra closed “watch a movie or something”
“sorry, I promised lia I’d help her clean the apartment today” you lie, surprisingly quick, before pulling your hoodie over your head.
“so you’re just gonna fuck me and leave again?” he jokes dramatically “I don’t even get cuddles?”
“shut up” you chuckle.
“am I nothing more to you than a pretty piece of meat?” he continues as you slip into your jeans, rolling your eyes playfully.
“a toy you use when you need stress relief??” he holds his chest dramatically.
You step into your shoes and raise your brows at him.
“are you complaining?” you ask playfully.
“nahh” he pulls his covers over his abs as he watches you grab your jacket from his desk chair.
"At least give me a 'gopdbye, thanks for the bomb dick, kiss" He grins when you scoff at him. So, you lean over him and press a quick peck to his lips; he whines playfully when you lean back up again, sitting up and catching your lips with his roughly once more.
“alright, see ya” you shrug."
And shit, your heart does it again. What are you doing?
You break the kiss and ruffle through his hair.
“ugh” he huffs annoyedly, fixing his hair “I hope you have trouble walking” he quips as you go for the door.
“I’ll text you if I don’t” you wink at him before closing his door, leaning against it from the outside and closing your eyes.
“fuck” you whisper to yourself before making your way through the guys apartment.
“don’t break his heart, y/n” minhos voie comes from behind as you twist the doorknob.
“huh?” you trun around to look at him, he’s wearing a shirt that you know to be jisungs so he must be staying over.
“I’ve known changbin for a while, he seems tough but he’s a softie deep down” he crosses his arms over his chest “he hurts easier than you think”
“we- we’re both not in this for anything serious” you stammer “what do you mean?”
“I see the way he looks at you, y/n” minho smiles softly “I’m not telling you how to live your life, just, be honest with him… and yourself for that matter” he quirks one brow up, smiling before disappearing around the corner.
 -
 You squint your eyes as you’re trying to make out the label of the cereal boxes in the upper shelves, looking back at your phone you check to see what brand lia had texted you about so you don’t accidentally buy the wrong thing.
“fuck” you mumble when you see her desired cereal at the top of the shelf, so you reach up but to no avail.
“y/n?” you lower your heels to the floor again before turning around to see…
“hyunjin?” you face drops in awe.
“hey!” the tall young man smiles widely, opening his arms and inviting you to a hug.
“wow, hi” you hug him back.
Damn, what happened to him? The last time you saw him was before he moved away in 10th grade.
You used to be good friends with him, or, well, the freakishly skinny and lanky highschool version of him you met in dance class.
By the feel of it, even through the trenchcoat he’s wearing, you can tell he’s bulked up quite a bit.
After letting go of him, you cant help but stare.
His acne had cleared up and his brown hair is chin length with the top parts pulled back into a little pony tail, leaving some face framing strands in the front.
“wow- you look-“ you blink a few times to make sure you’re not dreaming “…really good, hyunjin”
He smiles on the ground, his pretty plump lips parting to reveal beautiful pearly whites which used to be covered by braces.
“so do you” he grins.
“no- I mean you look… good-good” you splutter, laughing awkwardly “like what are you a model now or something?”
“actually, yea- part time” he chuckles.
“oh” you huff  “wow of course” you shake your head laughingly, blushing furiously when he doesn’t break eye contact.
“so- uhm” you gulp, making him grin even wider “what are you doing here?”
“I’m transferring here” he nods “better dance programme” he explains shortly.
“oh you still dance” you observe out loud “I haven’t danced in a while” you look down.
“you should come by after practice sometime” he offers “to catch up- or dance if you want” he giggles, a little dimple appearing on his left cheek.
“yea, I’d love that” you smile, nodding before he takes out his phone.
“put in your number, I’ll text you” he smiles softly when holding it out to you.
“mhm” you agree, saving your number in his phone and trying not to think about him staring at you the whole time.
“alright well” he checks his phone for the time, you guess “I gotta get going, only came here for this” he chuckles, holding up a carton of milk that you, weirdly enough, haven’t noticed until now.
“alright” you nod before he moves in for a hug again.
“bye” he smiles when loosening his arms again.
“bye” you mumble, staring at the back of his perfect head as he walks away.
You were about to pull out your phone and rant to lia about what just happened, when he stops in his tracks and turns around.
“almost forgot” he grins, reaching up and getting your cereal from the top shelf; winking when he places it in your hands, your body freezing.
“bye” he grins, walking away before you could thank him.
-
 You had taken hyunjin up on his offer and met him in the dance studio after class where he showed you some of his contemporary pieces before you made your way to the popular coffee shop on campus together.
“-no seriously the second piece was my favourite I think, but they were all amazing!” you smile up at him at which he shakes his head cutely.
“can you stop complimenting me, y/n I’m getting all nervous” he laughs softly.
“oh please” you quip “with your talent and looks I would think nothing could make you nervous” you roll your eyes playfully.
Hyunjin huffs, opening the coffee shops door for you “you can” he says softly as you walk past him, you turn around to him to see him blush a litte but diverting his eyes to the big menu above the counter.
Did he just flirt with you? No, you must be tripping.
You look around to see only two other people sitting in one of the booths together, the cold must keep most people home, you think before hyunjin gently pulls at your sleeve to get your attention.
“what do you want?” he asks, the barista looking at you expectantly.
“uhm- a hot chocolate please” you say, reaching in your purse to get your wallet.
“I’ll take the same” hyunjin smiles politely, giving the barista money.
“on me” he smiles down at you.
“oh, thank you” you smile sheepishly, letting go of your purse again.
Once your hot chocolates are ready, you sit down in one of the booths, hyunjin sliding in to sit across from you.
“I was back home last week before I came here, you’ll never guess who I met” hyunjin grins.
“who?” you ask curiously.
“tim” he grins.
“tim?” your eyes almost pop out of your head “as in my first boyfriend tim?” you laugh, holding your hand to your face incredulously.
“but he moved away as well?” you half ask.
“yea he said he was visiting his grandparents, but guess the best part” hyunjin bites his lip
“what?” you chuckle.
“he got a nose job” hyunjin bites back a laugh when you gasp surprisedly “really?”
“one word” hyunjin says “botched…”
“aw no, poor tim” you frown, looking down at your hot drink as memories from back in the day come back to you.
“he always used to put his hand up my shirt when hugging” you frown, making hyunjin laugh.
“it was 9th grade y/n what did you expect?” you scoff at his rethorical question.
“I don’t know, some basic manners maybe?” you counter playfully…slowly letting the conversation die down as you both take sips from your cocoa.
“how come we never dated?” he asks softly after aminute of silence, looking up at you.
“we were friends?” you chuckle awkwardly.
“come on” hyunjin sits back in his booth “you must’ve known I had the biggest crush on you”
“you did?” you almost launch forwards in your seat, making hyunjin laugh.
“well, I guess you didn’t know then” he giggles, hiding his face in his hands embarrassedly.
“anyways, I would’ve paid good money to be able to slip my hand up your shirt” he jokes, cheeks reddening when you laugh.
“I honestly liked you a lot back then” you say “if you would’ve said something we might’ve actually gone out” you shrug gently.
“damn, way to rub that in my face” hyunjin grins.
You hold his eye contact for a few seconds before you feel your blood rushing to your cheeks again, quickly lifting up your mug to take a sip and partly cover your face.
When you put your mug back down, hyunjin grins widely, mumbling a “cute” before slowly bringing his hand to your chin and gently swiping his thumb over your top lip where a foam mustache had formed.
You gulp when he swiftly sucks the foam off his thumb, your eyes darting from his eyes to his lips.
When he notices, he leans over, slowly as if scared to overwhelm you.
That’s when minhos words pop up in the back of your head.
“be honest with him, and yourself for that matter”
But you aren’t together, and hyunjin is great and you want to kiss him but you know it would be wrong.
However, before you know it his lips are on yours and you’re not doing anything to stop him.
They are soft and inviting and you let him swipe his tongue over the seam of your lips, but then the little doorbell rings and you hear lias voice, followed by a male one before they abruptly stop, making you pull away abruptly.
Oh.
There they are, lia, chan, jisung and changbin; looking at you.
“y/n” lia grins widely, approaching your table “aren’t you gonna introduce us?” she squeals, hyunjin clears his throat and sits back down.
The three guys hesitantly follow lia when-
“woah- hyunjin?” chan speaks up.
“chan-hyung?” hyunjin gets up from his place to receive a hug from the older one as your eyes divert to changbin who is looking at the ground.
You aren’t together. Then why do you feel so guilty and why does he look so disappointed.
“he’s cute, girl” jisung grinningly interrupts your daydreaming, nodding towards chan and hyunjin who are still talking.
You force out a smile.
“how do you two know each other?” lia asks curiously.
“he went to my highschool, the last few years” chan grins.
“what a coincidence” you mumble, almost ironically.
“I went to highschool with y/n too, the first couple years though, then I moved away” hyunjin explains “oh, im sorry, I’m hyunjin by the way” he turns to jisung and changbin.
“I’m jisung, this is changbin” jisung smiles, pointing at his grumpy friend.
“I’m lia” lia grins “his girlfriend and her best friend” she points at chan before snuggling up to you, giggling.
Jesus, woman where do you get the energy? Is what you want to ask but you just flash another forced smile, hoping this moment will pass quickly.
“where were you guys?” you change the topic, hoping changbin would maybe look at you if you spoke up.
“oh, I caught them all huddled up in the studio” lia grins “they probably haven’t been outside in a week again” she giggles.
“true” jisung quips.
“hey lets all sit down” hyunjin suggests.
“I’ll get a coffee” changbin mumbles, walking back to the counter.
You usher lia to make way for you to get out of the booth, following him.
“bin” you stand next to him as he looks up at the menu but he ignores you.
“you could at least acknowledge my presence, your highness” you quip annoyedly.
“what do you want me to say, y/n?” he mutters.
“I didn’t know this would happen with him or I would’ve told you” you say, looking back at the other four talking and laughing in the booth.
“we’re not together y/n, you’ve made that very clear; if you wanna kiss lord farquaad go ahead, I’m not stopping you” he looks over to the booth as well.
“jesus christ” you huff “why are you so defensive then?”
“hi” changbin greets the barista who just came from the back “I’ll have an iced coffee to go, please” he orders.
“the world doesn’t revolve around you y/n, maybe I’m having a bad day” he answers when the barista makes his way to the coffee machines, you feel a lump from in your throat.
“yea, well thanks for making mine bad as well” you turn on your heels to join the others, hyunjin sees you coming back and scooches to make some space for you next to him.
You smile and thank him quietly when he also gives you your mug.
“everything alright?” he asks quietly, as to not disturb the others conversation.
“yea, just had to ask him some stuff” you smile at which he smiles back, turning back to the others.
After a minute changbin approaches the booth with his iced coffee “hey, I’ll run back to the studio I gotta finish that track”
“ugh, changbin I just dragged you out of there, stay for a second” lia protests and jisung nods along.
“nah, gotta get it done tonight” he shakes his head.
“alight see you later” chan nods.
“nice to meet you, man” hyunjin says, nodding at him as well.
“yea” changbin answers tight-lipped before walking out.
 December
”I’m sorry, hyunjin” you frown “I’m just not ready for a relationship after what happened with my ex-“
“its alright y/n” his large hand encases yours “you don’t have to explain yourself to me”
You sigh in relief “I’m sorry I tried to rush things, it just, seemed to good to be true to find you here and everything” he says.
“but I’ll wait for you, if that’s what you want” he looks up at you.
“oh, jinnie you shouldn’t have to do that” you shake your head “I’m sure there are great girls out there who are emotionally ready to be with you”
“yea, but you’re the girl I want to be with” he says softly and your heart shatters into pieces because you’re not sure he’s the guy you want to be with.
-
You fight yourself through the crowd at 3rachas last performance of the year, at the same venue where you met them for the first time. Just like the time before, chan makes sure lia, hyunjin, minho and you are able to come backstage.
“I’m excited to see you perform, man” hyunjin grins at chan, patting his shoulder “your stuff was already dope back then…” they continue speaking as you enter their dressing room.
Jisung greets his boyfriend as you and lia sit down on the leather couch.
Changbin is standing in front of the mirror, fixing his hair before his eyes lock with yours through the mirror, but he just diverts them to chan who’s grabbing a beer for hyunjin and himself, you guess.
“did you have to invite him?” changbin semi-whispers to the older one, nodding at hyunjin, chan just frowns confusedly,making changbin shake his head and walk out.
You look at hyunjin who is talking to minho and jisung, and doesn’t seem to have heard changbin. So, you get up to follow him out but lia holds your wrist “y/n you cant keep running after him” she hisses.
“he cant keep treating me like im invisible, I just want to clear the air” you free your arm and walk out to see changbin almost at the end of the corridor, walking out of a heavy door which, you think leads outside.
After reaching the door you open it to find him outside, leaning against the brick wall of the building, looking down at his phone.
The cold air hits your skin and you shiver, only wearing a top and some jeans since its warm in the club.
Changbin notices you and looks up “what do you want, y/n?” he asks.
“that was real classy back there” you comment, holding your arms to your body to preserve some warmth. Changbin huffs, unfazed as he looks back at his phone “whatever, y/n”
“no, not whatever bin” you step closer to him “he asked me to date him” his head shoots up and you lock eyes, for a second they are soft in the way they look into yours but something changes and they turn mean when he speaks again.
“so? that’s a you proplem” he shrugs.
“its not a problem at all, he’s sweet and loving and cares about me but for some reason im standing here, hoping that you’ll give me a reason to not be with him” you feel your throat closing up with anger mixed with confusion when he starts chuckling.
“you’re not serious are you?” he squints and your heart drops, tears pooling at your lashline.
“of course not, I couldn’t expect someone as stubborn and- and comunicationally incompetent like you to understand anything about feelings” you turn on your heels when a teardrop rolls down your cheek.
A hand wraps itself around your wrist, making you turn back “I’ve wanted to be with you since that moment in the club where you kissed me infront of all these girls. It was always you who was stubborn y/n, you never wanted to spend anymore time with me other than fucking” he snaps at you, taking a breather to start another sentence but you cut him off.
“-then why didn’t you say anything?” you ask quietly and he looks down.
“because- fuck” he lets go of your wrist “I didn’t want to scare you away, you in my bed was better than no you at all. But then fucking prince charming appears out of no where and sweeps you off your feet-”
“but I don’t want prince charming I want you” you blurt out, tears now streaming down your face, making him take a step back as his eyes soften.
“then why didn’t you say anything?” a small smile tugs at his lips as he closes the distance between you, gently running his hands up your arms, feeling the goosebumps brought on by the cold.
You huff, looking down and watching one of your teardrops melting a tiny hole into the snow before looking back up “because I’m stubborn and comunicationally incompetent” you sniffle “and stupid apparently” 
A grin spreads over changbins face as his hands cradle your cheeks, wiping your tears away with his thumbs “so, you wanna be stubborn and stupid together?” he whispers, locking eyes with you.
You press your lips together, trying to keep yourself from sobbing even more as you nod.
He chuckles softly ”you can stop crying now, baby” at which you nod beathing in shakily but smiling when he pushes some hair out of your face.
“can you kiss me now please” you sniffle whiningly, huffing in a laugh when he pulls a face.
“i dont know babe, you’re a little snotty right now-” he jokes.
“shut up” you hit him, chuckling when he pulls you even closer by your waist and gently connects his lips with yours.
A soft wind blows through your hair and you loop your arms around his neck even tighter, deepening the kiss at which he moans, holding your waist tighter to his body.
The door creaks open and “are you guys finally together?” minhos voice makes you break the kiss.
“yea” you grin when jisung comes out after his boyfriend.
“nice” he grins, nodding at you.
“yea yea nice, beautiful love whatever, hyung we’re up, lets go” jisung rambles, laughing and running back inside when changbin pretends to hit him, minho shaking his head and following him.
“you’ll watch me yea?” your boyfriend grins at you, taking your hand and planting a kiss on the back of it.
“from the front row, baby”
-
a/n: omg im finally done wth this took me so long yall, i started writing this sin september (which is why the fic starts in september as well lol) sorry about the winterly feelings i’m pushing onto you in the end but last week it literally snowed where i live so i was like uh?!?!?!? okay lets write some snowy shit, global warming ftw i guess....anyways i hope u liked it pls leave some feedback and/or ur favourite part ig lol i would appreciate it alot <33 (not proofred yet oopsie)
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taglist: @kpopscape​ @oopsie-whats-this​ @zhaqifa​ @synnocence​ @changlix-mp4​ + some besties who always inspire me wether they know it or not😭 @bangtantaegi @hanflix @bruh-changbin @hyunyin @yyxgin @hyunsluvv @unstableskzstan @violethhj @missskzbiased @cartierbin @dom--minnie
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feliix · 3 years
Text
Perfect Score ↠ Han Jisung
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↠ Jisung x Reader (feat. Felix)
↠ Genre: Fluff, Angst, Smut, Fake Dating!AU, Childhood Friends to Lovers
↠ Rating: M (18+)
↠ Word Count: 14.9k
↠ Summary: As you return home to work at your local coffee shop, you’re swarmed with couples coming in on lovey-dovey on dates. You’ve always hated the idea of love, but it’s Jisung’s mission to make you change your mind in just two weeks time.
↠ Warnings: idiots 2 lovers, mutual pining, unprotected sex, fingering, soft sex, language, light mentions of marking, mentions of bad past relationships
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“That's disgusting.”
You grimace in the most subtle way as you watch the man across the shop press a gentle kiss on the cheek of the woman next to him. For some reason your shop is packed with couples this evening. Not that you’ve been counting, but they’re probably the 50th overly lovey-dovey pair that you’ve seen this just this shift alone. 
To say ‘love’ isn’t really your thing isn’t too far from the truth. Every time you’ve been burned by someone in the past has only made your hope about love deteriorate. Relationships suck. Already been there, done that, and you don’t plan on doing it again.
You’ve always stuck by the same theory; relationships either lead to heartbreak or marriage. And even still, marriage may still end in heartbreak, so what’s the point?
“Stop being so dramatic,” Jisung laughs, pulling you out of your thoughts as he rounds the corner. He’s just in time to catch your snide remark, surely it won’t be the last one you’ll make tonight though. He had just run to the back to get you a fresh package of cups after using up all the stock in the front.
Tonight is busy to say the least. The sun has already set, and it’s the afternoon rush when everyone comes in for their second daily dose of caffeine. And it’s definitely necessary – especially on a day as hot and exhausting as this one. It’s the third day that its been over 100º in a row and the humidity is doing a real number to your hair.
“It’s not dramatic,” you sigh, leaning on the counter behind you as Jisung maneuvers around you, placing the cups on the shelf underneath. In your mind it absolutely isnt. Its a mystery why all these people need to publicly display their affection in a coffee shop anyway...
It’s just the two of you on the schedule tonight. Your boss has always been kind of an asshole, just leaving 2 kids in their early twenties to run the shop by themselves while he went off to do god knows what. There's always been an aching suspicion that he just goes to the bar across the street, since his car is still parked behind the shop but he’s always nowhere to be found. That’s okay though, it's better than him looming over your shoulder and criticizing your technique the whole shift.
“Yeah, whatever you say,” Jisung shakes his head.
In stark contrast to yourself, Han Jisung is quite the hopeless romantic. So much so that he tends to search for love in all the wrong places. Maybe a better way to describe it is that Jisung has a series of flings. He’s not shy to test the waters of any girl he comes across – and there are many, many waters that he’s tested. Lucky you gets to hear all about each one, being his friend and all.
But to your good friend’s demise, his ‘relationships’ never end up working out for very long. Theres always some kind of fatal flaw that’s a means to an end. Whether it was Jisung’s fault or the girls,  it’s always confused you why he could never hold onto something longer than a couple months. Jisung is a great guy, it didn’t make sense.
So great that you have been best friends with him for as long as you could remember. It all started that time in pre-k, where you poured a shovel of sand on his head in the sandbox. Initially, it did make him cry, but he got over it eventually. Ever since, he’s been right by your side, sandy hair and all.
“How much longer,” your eyes roll back in your head, neglecting to look at the watch on your wrist in fear that your shift has a significant amount of time left. The night has been dragging on since you stepped foot in the door and heard the little jingle as it opened. You wouldn’t be surprised if you’d only made it through half your shift thus far.
“Just under an hour. Want to start the closing checklist so we can get outta here?” Jisung offers, reaching for the rag and sanitation bucket at the end of the counter.
Nodding your head, you follow his plan – beginning your mission to clean like a speed demon so you can leave no later than at 8 o’clock on the dot. 
Luckily, closing tonight goes as smoothly as it possibly can. You and Jisung are ready to get out of there at 8 on the dot, thanks to your determination to mop like a mad woman and stock the front as fast as humanly possible. 
The air outside feels crisper than usual. Maybe its because you’ve been locked up in a small room that smells like coffee beans for 10 hours, but you’ll never get enough of the night air. 
“So what are we doing tonight?”Jisung asks, his fingers adjusting the headband that sits just above his forehead.
“I was planning on going home and getting some rest…” you trail off, avoiding eye contact with him. Jisung always goes out after your weekend shifts and never lets up on convincing you to tag along. So you can’t look at him, his eyes are much too convincing make contact with, and you are beyond exhausted from working a double today.
“Gah you’re so boring,” he teases, stopping in his tracks in the center of the parking lot to ruffle the hair on top of your head, “it was an early night we should do something.”
With a deep sigh, you stop as well, smoothing down your hair as a pout forms on your lips. The suggestive smirk settling across Jisung’s face is telling; he knows he’s about to get his way before you have the chance to turn him down or fish for another excuse. So you tilt your head, subtly rolling your eyes as you wait for him to explain what his big plans for tonight are.
“I’ll be at your house by 9.”
Accepting defeat, you shoot him a thumbs up before turning to get into your car. Asking any more questions would take away any time you had to wash up – and smelling like coffee beans any longer is going to drive you up a wall since it hasn't already.
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It doesn’t take much time for you to rush home and get ready, and before you know it Jisung is there to pick you up. Only a few minutes late, but that’s just par for the course and right on time in Jisung terms. 
The car ride to your destination feels like a blur with how exhausted you are. So when you end up at your favorite boba spot, you immediately perk up. Those tapioca pearls always manage to give you a second wind.
But when Jisung decides to take a seat at one of the round tables just outside the shop instead of getting back in the car you know somethings up. You were expecting to hop back in the passenger seat of his car, maybe listen to some music for a while and drive around to kill time. 
Initially he doesn’t say much. His legs just bounce hyperactively while he fidgits with the straw of his drink. It’s almost like he’s waiting for you to speak up; his eyes staring down at the cup in front of him instead of sipping from it, lip caught between his teeth.
The energy is off. Not only did you expect to hang out and do something adventurous like Jisung normally would, but now you’re watching his cheeks grow red while avoiding conversation.
Awkward silence becoming too much to bear, you take matters into your own hands. “So how are things going with that girl?”
“Oh yeah,” he sighs, his fingertips drumming along the surface of the table, “she didn’t really work out.”
Unsurprised by his response, you just nod along. Its always to expect since he’s the pickiest person you’ve ever met. His last relationship ended because he thought the girl breathed too loudly. The girl before that had an annoying laugh, and then the one before that didn’t like cheesecake. There always seems to be a laundry list of deal-breakers tied along to each one of Jisung’s relationships, and that is something you’ll always expect.
“You’re probably better off.”
You don’t think much of the words before they leave your lips. Relationships are a ton of work, and you’ve never understood the point of to putting all your effort into something like that. There is a way to just be happy on your own, you know.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” his eyebrows furrowing in response, hands gripping his thighs in anticipation
“You know what I think,” you tilt your heat matter-of-factly, “relationships are kind of just a waste of time.”
“What is with you and all this ‘anti-love’ stuff anyway, Y/N?”
Now thats a response that you are not prepared for. The question catches you off guard, a boba bubble almost catching in your throat leaving you a coughing mess. Jisung chuckles at your discomfort, waiting patiently for you to get it all out and just answer his question, as uncomfortable as it is. 
“I’ve wasted too much time with too many dead-beat guys to even think about love,” you sigh again, your coughing fit subsiding as you reach for your cup once again.
“Not every guy is a dead-beat.”
His words carry a harsh bite to them, almost as if he finds you’ve said offensive. It burns his ego a bit, assuming that you’re grouping him in with all the guys you’ve been with in the past. Which is strange, Jisung should know that he’s different. For one, you’ve never dated him before and two, if he was such a dead-beat you wouldn’t have kept him around for so long.
You aren’t able to talk to guys, or most people for that matter, in the same way that you talk to Jisung. He’s the one you rant about all the assholes to. He knows all the shit that you don’t tell anyone else, he’s like your own personal human diary. Secrets are always safe with him, it's not like he has anyone who would listen to the gossip even if he wanted to tell.
After a minute of silence his expression changes, Jisung’s eyes squinting at you in that ‘I have a crazy idea’ type of way. It’s a look that you haven’t seen very often, and you can’t say that you’ll ever get used to it. 
“Okay then I’ll make you a deal,” he proposes, a glimmering look in his eye that made you somewhat nervous. You never know what you are getting with Jisung, but most of the time his ‘deals’ are on the crazier side.
“What is it?” You still ask although you’re a bit nervous to hear his answer. If his plan is to set you up with one of his delinquent friends or something–
“Be my girlfriend.”
Your eyes widen as the words fall from his tongue, confusion taking over your expression as a small chuckle slips past his lips. Instinctively your stomach tightens, the air around you now feeling a bit heaver each second time ticks on. He can't be serious…
“Your what?”
“Two weeks is all I’m asking for. Be my girlfriend for just two weeks, and I’ll show you that love isn’t as shitty as you think it is.”
“You’ve gotta be kidding me” you shake your head, a disbelieving smile stretching wide across your face.
“C’mon Y/N,” he challenges, “it’s two weeks of your life, what else do you have to do? I think it could be fun.”
The quirk of his eyebrow and quick squint of his eyes grabs your attention. He’s serious about this, scarily serious, and you aren’t quite sure how to react to that.
“What’s in it for you?” Your chin falls into your palm as you stare at him, waiting for his response.
“Well for one,” he starts, a sigh leaving his lips, “if it works then I won’t have to listen to you complain about how much relationships suck anymore.”
Just when you don't think you can roll your eyes any further into the back of your head, your own actions surprise you. If looks could kill, the one you’re giving him right now would surely take him out. He doesn’t pay much mind to it though, he’s used to your sass and just shrugs it off.
“This is an awful idea,” you glare at him as if it will change his mind. You’re certain this experiment of his would not change your own. Love sucked, and that was that.
“Two weeks,” his voice carries a taunting tone, his eyebrows wiggling to entice you into his plan. He isn’t going to give up on this easily, you know Jisung. And Jisung always gets his way.
“Fine,” you huff, “two weeks and that’s it. And if my mind isn’t changed you owe me 3 more of these,” you say, picking up your boba from the table and shaking it at eye-level for emphasis.
His bottom lip catches between his teeth, satisfied with your response. He isn’t exactly sure how he’ll manage to pull this off, but he’s definitely up for the challenge.
“We start tomorrow at 8, I’ll pick you up after work.”
Crossing your arms over the table, you bury your head in your arms. This is going to be the most interesting two weeks of your entire life.
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“Wait, you're like dating dating the Han Jisung?” Felix’s jaw drops, excitement prevalent on his face as you spill about your night with Jisung.
Felix is the only person in your life that understood your hatred for relationships, other than Jisung of course. Not that he shares the hatred himself, he’s just heard enough about how much you despise being in one to know just how you felt. He’s only heard about it every day for the past several summers.
Felix is your best friend, other than Jisung of course. He’s also the only person in this world that you could bear to work with on a Saturday morning. 
“That's the plan,” you sigh fiddling with the containers on the counter. It’s pretty slow for a Saturday morning, only a handful of customers have come in so far and it's already 11 am.
That’s the thing about working at a coffee shop – and it sucks when it's busy, and it sucks even more when it's slow. At least it isn't a terrible job, you at least have Jisung and Felix to keep you company and that's always worthwhile.
“And for the record,” you turn to look at Felix, a grin still evident on his face, “I don’t think this is gonna change my mind about the love stuff.”
“You know how Jisung is,” his eyebrow lifts, “so you never know. Maybe something could happen.” 
If anyone was surprised that you were dating someone, fake relationship or not, it would be Felix. On top of that, you’re dating Han Jisung. As in, the same Jisung that ended a 3-month relationship last year because the girl ‘smelled too much like peaches’ and it was ‘too good to be true.’ And now that you’re the one stuck with him for the next 14 days, it is only a matter of time until he finds the deal-breaking trait that turns him away from you.
“Okay no, that's exactly why this is only two weeks. If I know Jisung, he’ll be over it before the 2 weeks even ends.”
“Whatever you say,” the pitch of his voice is raised teasingly. You can tell he doesn’t believe this will be just a ‘two-week thing’ by the funny little look on his face. You hate that look, and you hate how Felix always seems to be right.
Subsequently Felix sees a lot of things that you aren’t able to see for yourself. You’ve grown up with Jisung, grown accustomed to his unique mannerisms and behaviors without even noticing. Felix, on the other hand, has a different point of view. 
He’s not in it like you are, so gets to see the way Jisung looks at you; the way he hangs on each and every word that leaves your mouth with a sparkle in his eye. He notices that Jisung longs to make you laugh. And he watches the toothy grin each that grows on your face each time a chuckle breaks through your lips. Felix notices every behavior that you see as nothing more than ‘friendly.’ But who is he to say? So, for now, the information remains tucked away and stored in his mind for a later date.
Your fingers drum on the clean marble countertop beside you, leaning against it as you wait for a customer to come in. All this time with nothing to do is really doing wonders for your imagination; thinking about what Jisung has planned for the two of you to do tonight. Nothing special, you hope, he really doesn’t need to go all out for this. 
The lack of customers and silence that's fallen among the shop is just making it easier for your mind to wander off. It was beginning to make you sick how much you were thinking about Jisung and nothing has even happened yet. It's not like you have any reason to be nervous, but keeping all these thoughts trapped in your thick skull is starting to give you a headache
“He’s picking me up after work.” You blurt it out without thinking much about it. No one is here, you might as well lay it all out there for Felix to know since there's nothing better to do.
“He’s picking you up? Like you’re going on a date?”
“Shut upppp,” your eyes roll at his teasing nature, growing slightly embarrassed by how giddy the thought of this ‘date’ is making him, and you for that matter. It’s just Jisung. And you are just hanging out like you do every other night. There's nothing different about tonight and you’ll be able to prove that to yourself and Felix by the next time you see him.
The rest of you shift flies by – it always does when you work with Felix. Before you know it, the closing checklist is coming to an end, only a few steps left before you can finally get out of here. The clock had just turned to 7:55 pm, but Jisung still isn’t here. Not that you’re expecting him to be on time or anything, this is still the same Jisung you have always known.
What you aren’t familiar with is the nervous butterflies fluttering around in your tummy as the clock approaches 8 pm.  What are you even nervous about? It isn’t a blind date, other than the fact that you have no idea what you’re doing. And it isn’t even a date. It’s Jisung for crying out loud.
Speaking of the devil, the chimes in the front of the shop ring as Jisung passes through the doorway. You don’t see who it is at first, your back turns to the door as you sweep behind the counter. The chimes ringing at this time of night do trigger your fight or flight instincts though, ready to turn to whoever is approaching and give them a dirty look for coming in this close to closing time.
But once you turn around and see Jisung standing in the doorway with a bouquet of sunflowers, your tension quickly subsides. You swear that you can feel your heart skip a beat, heat rising to your cheeks as you try your hardest to form a coherent sentence. It's okay that you aren’t able to, though, the surprised look on your face is enough for his smile to light up the room.
“I’m here to pick up the pretty girl with the espresso stain on her shirt,” he chuckles, his bottom lip catching between his teeth nervously.
Tonight he’s dressed a lot nicer than usual comfy attire; a nice shirt with a pair of dark jeans that hug his slim figure. His hair is a lot lighter too – a vast change from the midnight black strands that normally frame his face. He’s really going all out for this thing – and right now all that you’re wearing a pair of running shorts and a t-shirt with coffee stains down the front.
When you look to your right, Felix is just as stunned as you are. Frozen in his spot as his jaw practically sweeps the floor, he looks at you with wide eyes, his eyebrows raised as a smug expression crosses his face. For a second you contemplate asking him if he’s all set to finish the closing checklist on his own, but before you’re able to speak up he’s already shooing the two of you out the door.
With a goofy grin displayed across his face, Jisung hands you the bundle of flowers, tied together with a delicate white ribbon. You mumble a thank you, still stunned that he showed up here looking like that to take you out tonight. So he is the romantic type, note taken.
“You like nice,” you gulp nervously. It already feels like a date and you haven’t even left the parking lot yet. If this is how things are going to start you had an exciting 13 more days ahead of you...
“So do you,” he smirks, his eyes wandering down to the small brown stains littering your shirt. Eyes narrowing, you read the expression crossing his face – of course, he’s joking. “I brought you some fresh clothes to change into don’t worry.”
Relief rushes through your body as the words leave his lips, followed by a slight pull on your heart strings. Knowing he took the time to think about bringing you something else to wear so you didn’t have to sit in your coffee scented clothes all night made you feel warm in the strangest way. He’s thoughtful, and it's weirding you out – but in a good way.
“So, where are we even going?”
“You’ll see.”
A vague yet interesting, and very on-brand response from Jisung. He’s always been a fan of surprises – as long as he’s not on the receiving end.
The drive to your destination drags on forever. You aren’t quite sure how long you’ve been on your way; between your agile back seat changing of clothes, which you are surprisingly skilled at, and the anticipation coursing through your veins, you’ve lost track of time. All you know is that you’ve been driving along the backroads of your area for at least 15 minutes, and there is nothing around you to indicate that your destination is near.
“This is it.” The car pulls into a small dirt parking lot, dimly lit by some dingy street lights that aren’t doing a very good job at their primary function. It's pretty hard to see what’s around you, no matter how hard you squint and press your forehead to the window to get a better look.
“Where are we?” The question leaves your lips in a worried fashion. Trees surround the parking lot on all three-sides, while the road you've pulled in from occupies the fourth-side. You’re hesitant to get out of the car, but as Jisung rounds the front and opens the door for you, you’re on your way out. He motions for you to hold on as he pops the trunk – returning with a blanket and a reusable shopping bag filled with god knows what.
He still hasn’t given an answer to your question though, and you still aren’t quite sure where you are. If It was lighter out you assume it would be beautiful here, all the greenery dark and shadows hovering over you from the trees.
The bright light from his cell phone flashlight lights up the way, a path on your right
“Hell no,” your arms cross over your chest as you stand still in your place. He’s out of his mind if he thinks you’re going into the woods this late at night. You’ve seen enough horror films, stuff like this never ends well.
“C’mon, it’s not as bad as it looks,” Jisung laughs at your pouting manner, amusement filling his system as you glue your feet to the ground of the parking lot. His puppy dog eyes plead for you to follow him, a hand outreaching in your direction for the taking. You contemplate it for a moment, your eyes narrowing as you ponder the possible outcomes of the situation before you.
“Fine,” you huff as you take his hand in yours.
His hand feels different in yours this time. His long fingers lacing between your smaller ones in the perfect fit that you’ve neglected to notice before. You’ve held his hand before, platonically though. This time it’s platonic too though, right? It’s just a date. A platonic date between two friends. Two friends who are dating on a two week trial period. So yes, it is strictly platonic. Right?
The dirt path doesn’t drag on for too long, but the sounds of bugs ticking and twigs breaking beneath your feet is enough to startle you. Every scared and breathy gasp that  leaves your mouth is followed by a small fit of laughter from Jisung. At least one of you is amused.
But the dirt path soon turns rocky, a clearing becoming more and more noticeable as Jisung’s flashlight brightens the way ahead of you. The rows of trees come to an end as the ground flattens, a giant slab of rock lying beneath your feet. Out ahead of you is completely dark, and until you approach the darkness you don’t notice that you’re just a few yards away from the edge of a cliff. A river lies below the edge, the sound of water rushing fills your ears and calms your nerves. It is quiet out here, peaceful and without distraction.
Jisung stands back as you admire the scenery around you – your own phone flashlight now out and panning around to look at the view. It’s beautiful out here, nothing to worry about but the sounds of the water and whatever Jisung is doing behind you…
You couldn’t have zoned out for more than 2 minutes, but once you turn back around to face him a picnic blanket lies on the ground before you. Snacks scatter the extent of the fabric, a few candles placed in the center
“You really went all out for this, huh?” A nervous laugh leaves your lips before you swallow harshly. Never in your life has a guy ever gone all out like this for you. A late-night picnic at a secret location, fixed with all of your favorite snacks and some candles for ambiance.
“Had to,” he smiles, “it’s our first date.”
You join him on the blanket, grabbing for a bag of popcorn as you sit down. Maybe relationships wouldn’t suck so much if all men treated you like this…
But it’s just Jisung. Jisung who already knows all your favorite things to eat. He’s just trying to be convincing – to prove to you that men take you on dates, do nice things. But stuff like this never lasts. Two weeks from now you’ll be going back to the same old Jisung and Y/N friendship that you’ve always had.
The conversation goes on as normal tonight, he doesn’t make any moves (as expected, it’s Jisung) and you enjoy the view and calm atmosphere with your fake but not so fake boyfriend. You stay out on the cliff for a few more hours before he takes you home. Jisung put a lot of effort into making tonight special, and you appreciate him for that. But even after all his effort, you know that real relationships aren’t like this.
Every guy you’ve dated would try to woo you over in the beginning too. They call it the honeymoon stage for a reason. Things are always great in the beginning, lavish gifts and dates, loving gestures. That kind of thing never lasts. Soon the effort runs out, the guy gets bored of putting the work in, and they end up sleeping with your freshman year roommate. Well, at least that's how it is for you.
The bundle of sunflowers Jisung gave to you earlier on in the night sits on the end table next to your bed. Each time you look at them all you can picture is the goofy grin he sported as he stood at the entrance of the coffee shop. It replays in your mind like a movie. How he dressed up all spiffy just to take you out. How he took you to a spot only he knew about, somewhere so off-site and serene that he knew you’d remain uninterrupted. You can’t help but wonder if he’s using the same old tricks on you that he does to other girls though. If he only knew about that place because he’s taken someone there before.
Not that it matters though, you aren’t his real girlfriend. You’re just on a trial period. But for some reason the thought that he might have brought another girl to the same spot before doesn’t sit well with you.
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“Sooooo,” Felix teases, letting his chin fall into his palm as he leans on the counter before him, “how was your date with Y/N?”
Jisung chuckles at his nosiness, he’s sure you’ve already told Felix all about it. There are no secrets left between you two. Even sometimes Jisung felt like the odd man out when you’re all together.
“It was good.”
Jisung keeps his answer short, leaving the rest up to his imagination. He isn’t one to kiss and tell – or to not kiss and tell. Keeping his private life all to himself is something he takes pride in, things are just better that way.
“Just good?” Felix challenges, knowing there is much more that he’s leaving out. His eyes narrow as he waits for his response. You haven’t told him anything about last night, not even where you went after he picked you up. Things are radio silent on your end, which left Felix dying to know what actually happened on your ‘date that wasn't a real date.’
Jisung glances back at him, contemplating whether or not he should spill the beans. It would be kind of nice to have someone else to confide in. Especially since it's always you on the receiving end of his secrets; however, this may be the one secret that you don’t know of.
He chews on his bottom lip pensively, if anyone knows what’s on your mind, it would be Felix. Not that Jisung would ever want to pry, there's just no indication of how you feel about last night, or about him. Before Jisung can even open his mouth to speak, a knowing smirk is spread wide across Felix’s face. It’s that kind of look that makes him nervous – he knows something.
“You like her don’t you,” he muses, rubbing his hands together smooths as the words catch in the air. It’s out there now – and it’s obvious. Well, maybe not obvious, but it's clear as day to Felix – and that is more than enough to make Jisung worry.
“I don’t,” Jisung denies the other boy’s claim, his willpower too strong to give in.
“Oh yeah? So why do you self sabotage every one of your relationships then?”
The words catch Jisung off guard; his jaw clenching harshly as an annoyed breath is forced out of his nostrils. He wants to deny the claim once again, but he can’t bring himself to keep brushing off these feelings that have had a grip on him ever since he was young.
Felix is right too. He does sabotage each relationship that comes his way. Jisung goes out of his way to find something wrong with each girl he dates. He can never admit it to himself, but in the back of his mind, he knows that it's the fact that none of those girls are you. None of the girls he’s ever met could ever match up to all that you are. In his mind, you held the perfect score, and no one else had ever come close.
“It’s written all over your face every time you look at her you know.”
There's no way he’s that obvious... Did his feelings show that much whenever he was around you?
“What do you mean?” Jisung clarifies, the small once of hope bearing weight in his chest that Felix will follow up with a ‘just kidding’ or change the subject. Only the silence that falls on the room is enough of a response for Jisung to get the clue. 
“Just please don’t tell her,” he avoids eye contact with the other boy, hand gripping harshly on the countertop as he stares down at the black and white checkered tile. “I just wanted to see if I could change her mind – about the love stuff, you know?”
The second you find out about Jisung’s feelings all bets would be off. There’s no way you’d let your little arrangement continue, not if either of you could end up hurt. And he knows you only agreed to this because there is nothing between you romantically, it was a deal between two friends. The second feelings get involved, everything gets all mushy and confusing, and Jisung can’t lose you.
Felix bears his weight on the counter behind him, leaning comfortably on the cool glass. “Believe me, I want her to be done with that ‘I hate love thing’ just as much as you do,” he sighs, looking around momentarily before he clears his throat. “Want me to be honest?”
“Please.”
“I think you might be the only one who can change her mind.”
Jisung’s heart skips a beat once the words leave Felix’s mouth. Blood rushes to his ears, pumping like a snare drum as he considers his thoughts. His stomach begins to twist as he considers it, almost confused about what Felix means, but not willing to accept it. You only agreed to fake-date him, you still hate love.
A comfortable silence fills the air, Felix watching him as his lips roll between his teeth, deep in thought. Change your mind. The words repeat in Jisungs head like a broken record. That’s what he’s trying to do, all for the right reasons of course. So that you don’t  have to be so miserable about it anymore. 
But behind those selfless reasons are several smaller, selfish ones. He gets to be with you as more than a friend now, and although it’s nothing more than some kind of test run, he can’t help but feel like this can be something more too. It’d be crazy to ignore the feeling he has deep in his chest, and maybe it's a sign not to.
“Like you think…” Jisung gulps, clearing his throat as the words stutter out of his mouth, “I could get her to fall for me?”
The lack of response that Felix gives is ominous, but the raise of his eyebrows and toothy grin forming on his face needs no words to tell. 
If anyone is to change your mind, it’ll be Jisung.
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That night Jisung took you to the drive-in movies. To be quite honest, you couldn’t really recall what was playing, some Pixar film with bugs as the main character if you could remember it correctly. You were far too distracted laughing with Jisung, watching as young kids played around on a grassy patch near his car. The giggles that left his lips each time the little girl waved to him were music to your ears. You never noticed how much he loved kids, how good he was with them.
The image of his hands clasped together as he fawned over the little girl, picking dandelions in the grass and racing to place them by your feet was burned into your memory. The boxy grin that graced his face all night long. The way his eyes squinted from his cheeks, pushing up as he smiled so big. The whispers of the word ‘cute’ each time her pigtails bounced while she toddled away.
Missing the movie doesn't disappoint you. If anything, the memories you've saved from tonight are more than enough.
The next night you were unable to go out, the shop was so busy that you were not able to leave until an hour and a half after your shift was supposed to end. Some punk kid dropped a cup of iced coffee on the floor on his way out and decided it would be best to leave it there without cleaning anything up or letting you know. Maybe if it hadn’t been so busy then you would have noticed the spill before it dried up and there were coffee stains stuck to the tile floors.
Naturally, you spent a good 15 minutes trying to mop up all the stickiness on the floor. But to your luck, Jisung is working with you that night. Once all the customers left the shop he hooked his phone up to the speakers, grabbed your hands, and danced you around the shop. Well, it was supposed to be dancing but it probably looked more like Jisung swinging your arms as you attempted to not trip over your own feet.
It makes up for not getting to go out though, and you’d take a night like that over a fancy dinner any chance you got. 
It’s been 12 days since you became Jisung‘s girlfriend, and as the remaining days decreased, so did your hatred for love. Each night he planned something special. The real kicker was the texts that you get once he makes it home from dropping you off every night. A simple ‘I had a great time tonight’ was enough to make your heart swell and heat rise to your cheeks.
And as you notice your hatred for love and relationships leaving you, you notice another feeling enter your system. Or several feelings…
Things are getting just as sticky as the night when two frappuccinos splattered all over the shop floor, whipped cream and all. Spending time with Jisung like this is bringing some things to the surface you didn’t know were buried in the first place.
Every night that you spent with Jisung over the past 12 days allowed you to see him in a new light. You got to see him on a different level than just friends. You got to see what every girl that fawns over Jisung experiences.
Something about your friendship never let you jump past that barrier. You only see him as a dear friend of yours. Nothing more and nothing less. And now the issue is that...you aren’t sure how you’ll ever go back to see him as such.
You like Jisung as more than a friend, that's for sure. And you know because of that things will never be able to go back to the way they once were.
Maybe you're reading too much into it, but your gut is telling you that you aren't the only one feeling this way.
The feeling of butterflies that pound in your stomach each time you meet eyes with him has to be reciprocated. There is just no way you can be feeling this way and he isn’t.
This isn’t like the feelings you’ve caught for any guy before, this is something else. Every night when you go home you lay in bed, staring at your ceiling with a dumb grin on your face as you think about your time together, about him. About the way his black curly hair falls in front of his eyes each time he looks down and how his smile lights up every room he was in.
These things that you were so blind to before can’t escape your thoughts, and it makes you wonder how many times or things you’ve looked over that make you melt, just like you are right now.
But in just 2 days, this trial-boyfriend period will be over, and you’ll have to go back to being just friends. Each day, each hour, each minute that approaches feels heavier and heavier. Anxiety floods your system each time you think about things being over, or that this arrangement you have isn’t even real.
When you think about the growing feelings you have for him, you honestly can't imagine what your life will be like any other way. What it would be like going back to just hanging out here and there. And what it would be like
You can’t even fathom thinking about what it would be like hearing him talk about another girl again. It makes you sick thinking that there's going to be someone after you, because in just 5 days this will be all over, and you’ll go back to being the girl best friend, nothing more.
Maybe it’s just wishful thinking that Jisung has more feelings for you too. But the glimmer in his eyes as his bangs brush out of his eyes and they land on you tells a different story. When he looks at you it feels like you are the only two people on earth. He sees nothing else but you, and the way your eyes sparkle back at him.
Each day you spend with Jisung after that feels like a wrench tightening the screws of your heart. 14 days is just not enough.
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“Earth to Y/N,” Felix says waving a hand in your face.
You must have zoned out, for god knows how long.
“Thinking about Jisung?”
“What?” you immediately straighten your posture and brush yourself off before responding, “N-no…I’m just thinking.”
“Right,” the sarcasm drips from his lips, not sparing you any time to save yourself as he turns away, beginning to wipe off the tables in the front.
For personal reasons, you’ve kept Felix out of the loop during this whole “fake-boyfriend Jisung” thing. It’s better if you keep your feelings to yourself until you figure them out. And although it feels really really strange not giving Felix the intel on what’s going on in your life, you know it’s for your own good.
Once you put what is in your head out into the world, you can’t take it back. And what if all these things that you’re feeling is just a part of the honeymoon-phase. If that even existed anyway… But if all these feelings for Jisung are due to him trying to woo you and change your mind, everything will just fade away as things return back to normal. And then you’ll be left loving him in silence while you watch him blow through relationships like a leaf blows through the wind.
Something in you tells you that this isn't the case, but the small shadow of doubt in the back of your mind keeps you from talking to your best friend about it anyway.
The thing is, you don't have to tell Felix for him to know. Every time Jisung picks you up from work to take you out you shine. Your smile spreads so wide he’s afraid your cheeks will tear. The nervous shake of your fingers as you grab for your belongings as you head out the door doesn’t go unnoticed in Felix’s eyes. He knows you too well to look over things like this, he just wanted to wait for you to say something first.
But now that you aren’t, Felix has decided to take matters into his own hands, asking you about it himself.
“Felix,” you start, waiting for his attention before you pull out a stool, sitting down and motioning for him to follow suit. Quickly he does, a questioning but knowing look evident on his face as the stool squeaks under him. “You know how this thing between Jisung and I is just an experiment or whatever?”
He nods in response, his hand quickly falling into his palm as he listens intently to your words.
“I think I messed up.” Your head is buried in your arms, laid over the tabletop in embarrassment.
“What do you mean?”
His question is more for clarification, he wants to hear you say it yourself. Felix knows that you’re gonna tell him that you’ve already caught feelings. He sees it coming from a mile away, you confirming it is just the icing on the cake.
“Don’t make me say it,” you whine, neglecting to pick your head up and look at him. You can feel the grin on his face. You know he's smirking at you right now, doing his best to hold back a laugh. Finally, you over the ‘I hate love and relationships suck’ thing.
“I have no clue what you’re talking about,” he sings, quite obviously teasing you while another deep sigh echoes from your chest. You manage to pick your head up, leaning onto your elbows with your chin caught between your palms as you face him.
“I like him.”
It comes out as a whisper, but Felix hears it loud and clear. If you didn’t know better, you’d assume that the smile on his face can't grow any larger, but it does. He jumps up from his chair in victory, doing a funny dance with his arms whooping in the air to celebrate. You’re confused as to why, but you’re too far in your own thoughts to pay it any mind; your head just sinks back into your arms as your forehead presses against the cold metal table beneath you.
“I knew it,” Felix smiles, his happy dance subsiding as he positions himself back down across from you. “I knew this fake dating thing was gonna work.
“Yeah well it really worked, because now I have feelings for a guy that’s never gonna reciprocate them for me.” Your tone is laced with sarcasm, a disappointing ring sounding off on each of your words. You’re too embarrassed to look at the boy sitting before you, worried that if you do all the emotions you’ve been holding onto for so long will spill over and stain your stone-cold image; one you’ve maintained for far too long.
But Felix is your best friend. The only one that you should be comfortable being vulnerable about your feelings for Jisung with; for some reason all you can’t bring yourself to be. Before you can get a grip on your emotions tears are streaming down your face and falling onto the cold metal surface under you in small puddles. 
A sympathetic sigh leaves Felix’s lips as he tries to gain your attention, “Hey.”
Inhaling deeply, you face him – mascara strewn across your face in black streaks and eyes nearly bloodshot. You’ve held this in for far too long. Only a double would tire you out and exhaust you enough to cry on the clock. Thank god it’s a rainy day, no customers ever come in on rainy days.
Or at least, no customers usually come in on rainy days. It's not until you hear the bells on the front door ring that you’re wiping your eyes, whipping around to greet whoever was entering.
And then you see him, standing there as he shakes out his umbrella, a bouquet of sunflowers in his hand.
And he sees you; mascara running down your face and tears staining your cheeks. He’s early. Your stomach turns at the sight of him, emotions not stable enough to handle carry a normal conversation like  
“Y/N,” his voice is quiet, worry dripping in his tone as your name leaves his lips. But you can’t face him right now, not like this.
Your feet move faster than you mind, standing up and rushing to the back to avoid him. Jisung doesn’t follow you, just stands there and watches you walk away, solemn and worried that he’s done something. 
It’s not until Felix is rising from his seat and pacing over to him that he’s brought back to reality.
“Jisung...” he starts, hands coming up slowly to console him, “I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to be here right now.”
“Wh-what’s wrong?” His lip worries between his teeth, eyes glossy as he stares at the door you just closed behind you. He’s looking at it intently, mind flooding with worry, wishing so badly that the door will just fly open, and you’ll tell him what was going on. In the back of his mind, he knows that you won’t, at least not for now. Talking about emotions has never been your strong suit, and chances of that changing at this moment are at an all-time low.
Felix is unsure how to answer him, caught in between not wanting to lie and keeping your feelings private. He can’t speak for you; but he’s scared that saying nothing could just make this whole situation worse.
His mouth gapes as he searches for a response to his question, lips opening and closing while he hums to himself.
The umbrella hanging from Jisung’s hand drops with a crash, starling Felix as he jumps at the sudden sound. But before he is even able to speak, the bell to the front door is ringing again, and Jisung is walking away into the pouring rain.
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The next day you wake up feeling numb. You’ve received several texts from Jisung the night before, none of which you have the energy to reply to or even look at for that matter.
The guilt riddling your body has become too much for you to handle. You left work last night without even saying goodbye to Felix. He’s a good enough friend and coworker to know that what you’re going through is more important than working the counter at an coffee shop. 
After Jisung left, Felix came back and let you know; he almost had to break down the door to the backroom in order for you to let him in. He told you to go home, get some rest and that you’d talk tomorrow.
But after waking up the last thing you want to do is talk about Jisung, it hurts enough just thinking about him.
Every time you thought about how your arrangement was supposed to end in just a few days you felt sick. You have worked so hard to open up just to build your walls back up again. And now you’re back at square one.
When you agreed to be Jisung’s girlfriend you did not expect to fall for him like this. He’s Jisung for god’s sake. He’s your personal diary, he’s the one who knows all the shit that nobody else does. And he’s the only one that listens to all the dumb shit you have to say that no one else cares about.
Feelings ruin everything. Love sucks, and you knew this before you agreed. You agreed under the circumstances that Jisung could show you that relationships could be fun; not under the circumstances that he would make you fall in love with him,
And the more that you think about it, maybe you were always in love with him. Maybe you always had these feelings for him, but they were trapped in the tight bonds of friendship that your subconscious never let you out.
But none of that even mattered now. The deal had to be off, and you need to distance yourself from Jisung before you are hurt any worse. The longer this goes on the worse that you are going to feel when it's all over.
How are you supposed to go back to normal after this? Like is Jisung thinking that showing you how amazing relationships are, you won't fall for him or something? Or does his true plan consist of making you fall in love with him, just to string you along like every other girl he's dated?
You’re trapped in the never-ending spiraling thoughts, soiling your image of Jisung with each new theory that crosses your mind. None of them are good. All of them paint him as a player, as someone who just used you.
But the little thump in your heart when you notice the sunflowers placed on your bedside table wants your mind to change. Your heart wants you to believe that Jisung feels something too, that throughout this arrangement he has seen a different side to you too – that he’s fallen for you just like you have for him.
It's a knock at your door that guides you out of your thoughts. The repetitive tapping at your front door that drags you out of bed. And when you check your peephole and it's no one else, but your small blonde best friend standing on your doorstep that has relief rushing through your system.
The door cracks open, Felix standing there with an umbrella in his hand – even though it was nearly 100º with clear skies.
“Why are you still in your pajamas? It's noon.”
Suddenly, he pushes past you and invites himself into to your living room. Plopping down on your couch, Felix makes himself comfortable as he waits for you to join. You spin on your heels, an exhausted breath leaving your mouth as you pace over to him, plopping down on the next cushion over.
“Why the umbrella?” Your brow furrows as he hands it over. You take it though, still confused behind the meaning of the object that you're holding and where it came from.
“It’s Jisung’s.”
You nearly drop it as his name leaves his lips. The name causes your stomach to tighten, mouth-drying instantly as emotions well behind your eyes.
“Why?” Is all you can mutter out. Why was he giving it to you, why is he here, and why did he have it?
“You need to bring it back to him.” He says sternly, his eyes locked on you as he waits for you to look back at him. But you’re too focused on the umbrella placed gently in your hands, tracing your finger over every wire and the soft rubber handle.
“I can’t.” Your words come out in a whisper, breath light and airy as you sigh, sinking your body back into the couch cushions. Giving the umbrella back to Jisung will mean that you have to go see him. And if you see him, he’s going to want to talk to you about last night, then question you about why you haven’t been returning his texts. No. You will not be giving Jisung his umbrella back.
“Y/N,” your name leaves his mouth gently, a sigh following it before he reaches for you, rubbing your arm comfortingly before continuing, “I think you need to talk to him.”
“Felix you know I can’t do that.”
You’re serious in your words. Not that you don’t want to talk to Jisung. You most definitely want to – and if you could, you would. But you can’t. There are too many emotions involved. The wound is fresh and seeing him would be rubbing salt right into it.
“Y/N,” he sighs, this time more forceful, like he’s trying to get something across to you but it's going right over your head. “Talk to him. Please.”
“You know I’m going to end up hurt if I do.” Tears well in your eyes as the words croak from your throat. It's dry and scratchy, full of fear and anxiety.
“I think you’d be surprised,” he mumbles, his eyes instantly widening on realizing the words that just escaped. Eyes wide with confusion, you’re begging him to go on, but if he does then Jisung won’t be the only one in deep shit right now. It's not up to Felix to tell you what he knows this time. 
“What do you mean I’ll be surprised?”
“I have to go,” he stands instantly, motioning to the umbrella, “and you need to bring this back.”
With a slight ruffle to your hair, Felix is giving you a supporting smile and waving goodbye. And you’re left alone once again – just you and Jisung’s blue umbrella.
It takes a lot of courage to get ready today. You make sure to take your sweet time rummaging through your closet, flipping through articles of clothing for the better half of an hour. At the end, you opt to go with a pair of sweatpants and an old t-shirt. There isn't enough energy in your body to put on anything else, and you know you’ll just want to curl back up in bed once you get home. Sweatpants are safe, and safe is just what you need.
No makeup today either. If things are anything like you’re expecting, your makeup will just end up ruined anyway. It's your better judgment to shower though, you’ve neglected to take one after work last night; opting to just bury yourself under your covers as soon as you got back. But today is a new day. And with a fresh shower and your comfiest pair of sweatpants, you are about as ready as you’ll ever be to get your heart broken into a billion pieces. 
Umbrella in hand, you step out onto your front steps, relishing in your last few moments of ignorant bliss before making your way to Jisung’s. You immediately regret your wardrobe decision as the sun beats down on your frame, the humidity making you feel sticky and gross – your favorite pants are  no match for this heat.
But you’re on your way to your destination anyway, the drive feeling longer and more drawn out than normal. Jisung didn’t live that far away from you, but the ride there still felt like an eternity with each theoretical scenario passing your mind. 
Dragging your feet, you make your way to the front steps of his house. You’ve been here a million times, but today is different. From now on, every time you drive past this place all you’ll know is heartache.
You brush yourself off, taking a deep breath before bringing your hand up and pushing the doorbell. The sudden ringing sound startles you, even though you have every indication that it’s coming – you’re just too nervous and jumpy for your own good.
Footsteps approach the door, your stomach tightening more and more with the muffled pitter-patter of footsteps. You’re praying to God that it’s his mom, hoping that Jisung just so happens to be out – even though his car is in plain sight parked just a few meters away from you. Wishful thinking, you suppose.
When the door to his house opens, you struggle to maintain your composure. He’s dressed similarly to you; a pair of sweats and an old sports t-shirt that has definitely seen better days.
“Hi.”
“Hi.”
His eyes are sunken in, dark circles dragging underneath his eyes and his lips pulled downwards. He looks like a sad puppy, his dark hair all scruffy and sticking up in each direction – probably from him running his hands through it so many times. 
“I came to give you this,” you extend the umbrella out before you. He nods before taking hold of it, his hand far at the opposite end making sure not to keep his distance. The more you look at him, the more sorry you feel for dodging his texts. He looks like he hasn’t slept a wink, and you’re afraid it’s all because of you.
“Oh...uh, thanks,” he struggles to make eye contact with you, looking down at the object in his hand. 
It’s awkward, uncomfortable, and you can’t seem to find the words to say to break this strange tension between the two of you. He’s acting weird, shifting his weight back and forth but not moving away to close the door. His mind is racing once again – contemplating whether or not to just invite you in or leave it at that.
But with every aching bone in his body, he musters up the courage to lift his head, looking you directly in the eyes. Their dark like his, definitely from the lack of sleep you had the night before. Your mouth is turned downward too; hands fiddling together to try and distract yourself.
“D-Do you wanna come in?” He stutters, stepping aside slowly as he gestures towards his house. He suddenly worries when you don’t respond right away, taking a second to contemplate if this is a good idea or not. Ripping off the band-aid is never easy, but it needs to be done.
“Sure,” is the word that you decide on – hoping that it doesn’t make you seem disinterested or too desperate to talk. Maybe he’s just being kind though. Maybe it’s an empty offer, something that you say when you’re trying to be nice, but subconsciously hope that they won’t take you up on it. Like when you offer to share your food with someone, but you’re really hungry. You do it to be nice, not because you actually want to split the delicious looking burger and fries on your plate.
He leads you inside and to his bedroom. It looks the same as always, but it feels different. It still smells like him though, the comforting woodsy scent of pine and mahogany that he always reaches for. But that comforting scent is anything but comfortable. You’re frozen in place, unsure if you should sit on his bed and make yourself at home, much like every other time in the past. For now you just stand in the doorframe, waiting for him to tell you to take a seat, just like any polite guest would. A guest. You have never felt like a guest in his home before, or around Jisung in general. But that imaginary wall between the two of you is standing tall and sturdy, and suddenly the two of you are reverted back to being strangers.
You watch as he toys with something on his desk, his fingers dancing from object to object and sifting through papers to look busy. The point of it – unknown to you but to him, he’s buying time. Trying to think of the first thing to say, what to ask, or if you even wanted to talk. Maybe you only agreed to come inside to be nice. Maybe you were too worried about hurting his feelings if you said no. But alas, here you are, standing awkwardly in his doorway as he shuffles around his room, his brain flooding with thoughts – but his mouth can not form them into audible words.
“I’m sorry for ignoring your texts.”
Your voice catches his attention, dropping whatever paper he’s looking at now and turning his gaze to you. You’re sunken into yourself, your chest thumping with anxiety as his eyes begin to wander your frame. Not in a ‘I’m checking you out’ manner though; more of a ‘you look so sad and I don’t know what to say to you right now’ kind of way. 
It’s true though, he doesn’t know what to say – which is why he’s staring at you, hoping the right words would just pop up and he didn’t have to use any brain-power at all. He doesn’t want to say ‘it's okay,’ because it's not. You never ignore his texts, and that alone tells him enough about what's going on. You are upset at him.
“What did I do wrong, Y/N?”
His words sound accusatory but his tone is soft, gentle and full of worry. Eyes swollen and looking like they are about to fill to the brim with tears, his sight is focused on you; now not able to look away.
“I-I don’t know…”
Your answer is honest. You don’t know if his intentions are dirty. Yeah, that’s what you thought initially, but looking at him with such hurt written all over his face tells a different story. 
Jisung is silent, unsure of what more he can do or say to make you talk to him. He can’t force you to open up, he never has and he never will – that’s always been his rule. Everything you’ve shared with him has been on your own terms and conditions. Jisung has always been here to be your listening ear, but he never prys.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
His voice is soft, eyes full of sympathy as he holds himself together. Those were the words he has been looking for. Now the ball is in your court and you’ll have to be the one leading the conversation. It’s just what he needed to figure this shit out.
“I-I don’t know.”
“Y/N,” he sighs as he drops himself down onto the mattress, “I shouldn’t have to say this for you to know it, but you know you can talk to me about anything, right?”
You do know that. You really, really do. But this time things are different. Is he expecting you to just come out and speak your truth like there won’t be consequences? No, he won’t push you to tell him anything you don’t want to. But the worry in his eyes and clammy hands are begging for you to just let it out so he can stop being in the dark.
You sigh out an ‘okay’ before sitting down beside him. 
Rip the band-aid off Y/N. Quick and painless.
His eyes narrow, almost to a squint, staring right through you in hopes of reading your thoughts. Your expression is nothing but blank as you try your best to gain some sort of composure. Do you just speak up and spill your guts? The words replay in your mind over and over until your thoughts are beat down and misshapen. 
You can picture his face when you say it; disgusted with a trace of disappointment and some confusion spread into the mix. Or maybe he’ll laugh at how pathetic you were, catching feelings for your fake boyfriend.
That’s it. There’s no way you can tell him. It would be much easier to just get up and leave. Tell him to pretend like none of this ever happened and that you needed some time to cool off. A few months maybe, or maybe you could just ghost him entirely. 
“Y/N?”
The sound of his voice breaks you out of your toxic thoughts, and his chocolate brown eyes bring you back down to earth. You can’t just leave him in the dust. He’s looking at you like you’re the only thing that exists. Things will be okay, right?
“Sorry, sorry,” you exhale deeply as you calm your thoughts; shifting the nasty scenarios out and accepting that whatever happens after this conversation is your fate. 
“Jisung, I-I guess I wasn’t expecting this boyfriend-girlfriend thing we’re doing to go like this.”
His brow quirks at your words, confusion riddling his expression as his eyes narrow. With a tilt of his head, he’s pushing you to continue, visibly riddled with your choice of words.
“Swear you’ll be honest when I ask you this?” You question him, your hand moving closer to his as you lean in slightly. He’s like a magnet, you can’t help yourself from moving closer; even though the proximity of the two of you is clouding your thoughts and you can feel your heart beginning to swell.
He nods in response to your question, his eyes full of concern as he waits for you to continue, “Why did you ask me to do this thing?”
He knows that a question like this was coming, only if he could have prepared for it. But he didn’t, so his throat is left dry and scratchy as his mouth opens, only to stutter a bit before closing it back up. No coherent thoughts or words are able to escape his lips, just nonsense mumbling that caught himself off guard.
With a deep breath, he closes his eyes, regaining his composure before he can face you again. He agreed to be honest, and if honesty is what you want, honesty is that you’ll get.
“I’m sorry.” That’s all that he can say. 
Oh no. This is exactly what you were expecting before you came here. He’s gonna tell you that he didn’t mean to mess with your emotions, that he felt you catching feelings and got carried away. That he’s sorry that he ruined your friendship and played you like a violin all at once.
“Me too.”
You don’t know why you’re apologizing, but you are. It feels wrong. Absolutely utterly, and undoubtedly wrong. Apologizing for your own feelings is not something that you are okay with. Especially when he made you fall for him like this. Okay so maybe thinking that is giving him too much power, but who the hell takes you out on dates for nearly 2 weeks straight just to laugh about it later. How can he expect you to not catch feelings for him? With his deep voice and fluffy hair that always hangs in front of his eyes, that little giggle he has when he finds something amusing. Everything about him was attractive. And you’ve fallen for it all. Hard.
“Wait, why are you sorry?”
A scoff escapes your mouth unintentionally, but it’s well deserved. “For being the idiot to fall for a guy that was playing her, I guess.”
You can’t look at him any longer, so your eyes fall to your lap, staring at your chipped nail polish and dirty fingernails instead of reading whatever dumb expression he has now. But if you just took a second to look up, you’d notice the widening of his eyes, how his fingers are beginning to shake and his mouth gape. 
“Wh-What?”
“Don’t make me say it again Jisung, I don’t feel like sounding stupid one more time.”
“No no I heard you, it's just,” his eyes slam shut, angry at himself that he let things get this far without keeping you in the loop. 
You’ve been telling him that you hate love for years now. After hearing it so many times, he’d just given up on the thought of you. Maybe if he said something before you went through all those shitty guys things could have been different. But he’s let this go on for far too long, and now you’re the one that was paying the price. 
“Y/N I have feelings for you.”
Your neck nearly breaks with how fast your head snaps up. He’s the one looking away now, his cheeks a bit rosy as he tries to hide himself. He isn’t doing a very good job though, his hair is only shadowing his eyes and you can clearly see the way he’s nervously chewing on his lip; a cute habit you have grown fond of these past couple of weeks.
If he didn’t look like he does right now, you’d assume he was messing around. But you know Jisung. You know his small little gestures and what they mean by now. You know when he’s being serious and when he’s telling a lie. He can look someone dead in the eye and lie to them, but when he tells the truth, he becomes shy and worried that he’s said the wrong thing. 
“Why didn’t you tell me?” You ask softly, gently reaching for his hand. The subtle contact makes him flinch, reacting by pulling your hand away. But his eyes meet your sympathetic ones, sparkling just like they always do, and he knows what he wants.
Jisung’s hand reaches back for yours, lacing his fingers through yours before giving your hand a light squeeze. “You hate relationships,” he chuckles lightly, the mood of the room instantly shifting as the laughter leaves his lips. 
“I hated the ones that weren’t with you,” you correct him, but your voice comes across as just a whisper. He’s close enough to hear though, a blushing grin forming on his face as you shyly look away. His heart flutters when he hears it, a million butterflies erupting in his tummy all at once.
“I hated the ones that weren’t with you too,” he coos, his eyes wide and sparkling as he looks at you with such adoration. 
Time moves in slow motion as his hand meets your cheek, your eyes look deeply into his chocolate ones as he moves in closer. As your eyelids flutter shut his tongue runs across his bottom lip, wetting the surface before closing the distance between you. Finally.
And in that moment you’re at peace. Everything you thought you’ve ever hated, love, relationships, and maybe Jisung for a hot second, are the only things that you long for. The 14 days don’t have to be over, and your days no longer have to be counted. When you’re with Jisung you’re happy, you’re comfortable, and you're confident that he can give you what you have always deserved – but have never gotten. 
His lips move against yours in slow, languid motions, his large hands holding you close like he’s holding on for dear life. But you won’t leave even if you want to, not now, not after all this. 
Slowly, Jisung shifts his weight and you move in succession. He’s laying you down on his bed, gently climbing over you without breaking the kiss. Things are becoming more heated now, you can feel it as his hungry lips devour your own. Your chest heaves up to meet his, your back arching off the mattress as his hands begin to scour your body. The heat pooling in between your legs is growing, an aching sensation overwhelming your core as your own hands reach up to rake through his long, fluffy hair. And you can tell he wants you too, the thin fabric of his sweatpants doing little to conceal the growing erection pressing against your thigh. 
You can’t help but let out a steep moan as his hips begin to grind into yours. Needy groans fall past his lips and onto yours as you roll your hips upwards to meet his small ruts. 
In a leisurely motion, Jisung’s body is moving upwards, his knee finding a place between your legs as he brings himself up to a kneeling position. You chase his lips the entire way there, sitting up straight to be sure the contact doesn’t vanish, too consumed by your need for him to leave his lips.
And then his needy hands are running along the waistband of your sweats, fiddling with the tie before breaking your heated kiss. “Is this okay?” His words come out in a whisper, his eyes searching yours for any signs of doubt, but all he sees is lust.
“Yes,” you confirm, out of breath from making-out for so long without coming up for air. The lightheaded feeling taking over you goes unnoticed though, and quite frankly you’re too caught up in Jisung to care.
Quickly, he rids you of your pants, looking back up at you for confirmation about your underwear. With an affirmative nod he’s removing those too, leaving you completely bare from the waist down as he stands over you fully clothed.
But soon he’s ridding himself of his own clothing, his shirt being pulled at the nape of his neck as he discards it across the room. He’s leaning back down to you, hungry for the feeling of your lips. He misses it, even though it's been less than a minute since he’s last felt your smooth lips on his. 
You won’t open your eyes to see, but with the shuffling movements and shaky connection between your mouths you can tell Jisung is stripping himself of any remaining clothing he has on. He’s needy, unable to wait any longer to get down to business, he’s already waited long enough.
You’re the one who breaks the kiss this time, too curious to see what he’s sporting down below for your own good. But you are not disappointed once you see it – he’s long and girthy; the pigment a shade or two darker from his skin tone than the rest of his body.  Your thoughts are wandering, wondering what it's like to have him inside of you; dreaming about what he feels like. Arousal pools at your core, mouth salivating as your daydreams linger.
“Like what you see?” Jisung chuckles. You barely notice that you’ve been staring, eyes wide and focused on the hardened dick before you, which is probably a bit uncomfortable for him. 
“Sorry!” You cringe at yourself lightly, covering your eyes in embarrassment in fear that you just ruined the mood you’ve worked too hard to create.
“Don’t apologise,” he smiles as he grabs your wrists, moving them away from your round eyes. Scrunching your nose in displeasure, you catch your lip in between your teeth, mentally face palming at how weird you’re being.
He couldn’t blame you though, it was taking everything in him not to gawk at you. It was the first time you’ve seen eachother naked. Bathing suits did little for your imagination, not that you had even thought about Jisung this way before.
But he eases your nerves by coming down face level with you, reaching for your shirt and pulling it up over your head. You look at him with wide eyes, taking in each part of him as he caresses your body gently. He’s in awe of you like this. So relieved that you’re finally his, that he has you like this.
Nimble fingers dance down your body, landing at your core as he runs one up your slit, collecting your arousal on his fingertip. An impressed smirk grows slowly on his face, “I can’t believe you’re this wet already,” he hums. “All for me.” 
His eyes remain focused on your center, devouring it with his eyes as his hands hold steady on your thighs. You can’t help but grow slightly embarrassed, dripping with arousal so early on though he’s barely touched you. A lump forms in your throat causing you to swallow thickly – this doesn’t go unnoticed by Jisung.
A concerned expression crosses his face, brow furrowing as he moves his hands upward to settle on your waist. “Hey,” his voice is soft, gentle and full of worry, “everything okay?” 
“Just nervous,” you answer, a fake smile showing on your face to try and combat your own emotions.
It is no secret that Jisung is a bit more experienced than you are in bed. He knows that, you know that, and that is enough to turn you into a nervous wreck. Leave it to your own thoughts to ruin the moment.
“We don’t have to…”
“No!” Your voice comes out a little too eager, a bit loud, shocking Jisung. His eyes widen in response, body jolting from the impact of your tone. “No,” you say more gently this time, “I want to.”
You did want to – you just have to get over your own nerves first. Lucily, Jisung didn’t mind and was willing to guide you through it.
With a reassuring smile plastered across his face, he laces his fingers through yours. As you lock eyes, you nod him onward, giving him the go-ahead to continue. He moves languidly, his fingers moving back down to trace your slit once more. The sensation makes you tense, the nerves tingling through your body making it difficult for you to calm down. 
But with a reassuring squeeze of his hand to yours, you’re taking a deep breath. Closing your eyes as you lie your head backwards onto his pillowcase. The smell of him consumes you, relaxing you effectively as his fingers meet the entrance of your core.
Shivers run through your body as he dips one finger inside. Your arousal acts as a natural lube, letting his finger glide gracefully into you. You gasp at the sensation, eyes rolling back into your head as he begins caressing your walls. His finger moves swiftly in and out of your core, his other hand still locked with yours to guide you through.
With your body finally relaxing, Jisung is able to add another finger into the mix. The extra pressure makes you shudder for a moment, taking a little to adjust to the greater size inside of you. Thankfully the mild discomfort subsides, and he’s able to pump his fingers in and out once more. 
He’s making sure to watch each of your expressions, growing harder and harder just from watching your face contort in bliss. With each of his movements you bite down harder onto your lip, focusing on him and him only. 
“You’re doing so well,” he praises as his thumb rubs circles over your hand soothing you. You can feel your heart swell at his words, heat beginning to rise to your cheeks. 
In one swift motion, Jisung begins to separate his fingers, stretching your walls as his digits move in scissor-like motions inside you. “Fuck,” you mumble, hips jutting forward in reaction. 
A steep moan leaving your lips as he brings his fingers back together, just to extend them once more. Your body is quickly getting used to the pressure, begging for more as you roll your hips.
He can sense that you’re eager from your movements alone. With one final squeeze, his hand is leaving yours. The empty feeling in your palm is unpleasant. But once you open your eyes and notice he’s using it to palm himself, his fingers groping around his length and beginning to pump slowly, that empty feeling is replaced with something else. 
Your mouth salivates with desire, hungry for the feeling of him inside of you. He’s aroused you enough, and you’re too eager to feel him for your own good.
“Jisung,” you moan, “fuck me please.”
His cock jumps in reaction to your words, his chest heaving as his breath catches in his throat. Never in his life did he expect to hear those words come out of your mouth – but he wouldn't mind hearing it again.
“Hmm?” He hums, knowing damn well what you said but being greedy enough to pretend that he didn’t. You whine in response, your legs shaking on the bed in a mini temper-tantrum.
“Please,” you drag out, “please fuck me.”
Your words are music to his ears. He removes his fingers from your dripping cunt, grabbing the backs of your knees to pull you closer to him and hike your legs up over his hips.
“Anything for you.”
Complying to your wish, he lines the tip of his cock up with your entrance. The feeling of his smooth head against your core is enough to make you moan, your head thrown back to expose the soft skin of your neck.
Jisung takes this as an opportunity to leave his own mark behind, leaning down to attach his lips to your skin. You gasp as his teeth graze your skin, his plump lips sucking harshly before his tongue is swiping over the area to soothe it. 
But your eyes open once he’s beginning to pull away to look at you. His eyes are dark, full of lust mixed with adoration, a sigh of relief leaving his chest as he gazes down at you under him. There’s a lot going on in his head right now. Of all the emotions swirling around, the thing he’s most focused on is how lucky he is to have you.
And before you know it, he’s leaning down. Pressing a chaste kiss to your lips, making you smile. One more kiss is left on your forehead before he's pulling back, securing the position of your legs on his hips. 
And then he’s realigning himself with your core, pushing past your entrance and slowly descending into the depths of your pussy. He’s moving slowly, taking his time as he thrusts into you. The delicious stretch is unfamiliar, but it's not uncomfortable – like you were made just for him. A simultaneous groan leaves your lips as he bottoms out, the tip of his cock pressing deep into you on a spot that’s gone untouched. 
He hums a sigh of contempt before pulling back, only to rock his hips into you once again. Your velvety walls welcome him delightedly, soft whimpers leaving your lips once he bottoms out again.
“Y/N,” your name leaves his lips in a low grunt, the bones of his pelvis driving into your skin as he begins to pick up his pace. In reaction you clench down on him, orgasm beginning to loom overhead with each movement of his hips.
Desire fills your senses as you roll your hips over to meet his thrusts. His movements are slow and intentional, making sure to bottom out each time to watch you squirm over his dick. He loves how your jaw drops each time his tip presses against your g-spot, knowing just when he hits it each time.
Jisung’s teeth are barred, sweat gathering at his brow as his dark fluffy hair sticks to his face. He’s trying to hold himself back, the overwhelming urge to finish just in reach, but he doesn’t want to stop. So his hands roam your body to try and distract him, his palms caressing up the sides of your torso as your back bridges into him. The feeling of hot breath fans over your face with each sigh he lets out. 
But the tightening knot in your stomach is threatening to snap with every movement of his hips. It's getting harder and harder to hold on with the power of his thrusts growing stronger.
“Jisung,” you whine, “so close” your hands find his back, fingernails dragging down his spine in attempts to ground yourself. Jisung’s face contorts as your nails pierce his skin, leaving lines of red scratches down the length of his posterior.
The stretch from his length and his rhythmic motions sends your senses into overdrive. Squeezing your eyes shut and grasping onto the sheets underneath you, you can taste the brink of your orgasm. Jisung is focused; his grip on your thighs strong and his face contorted with bliss. But all you can think about is how stupid you could have been if you had decided to just cut him out. What matters is that you’re here with him now, and the thought of that is enough to push you over the edge. 
Your breath hitches in your throat, stomach twisting and turning as your pussy throbs repeatedly around his member. Emotions running high, three words almost slip past your lips, but with the small amount of strength you can muster up, you hold them back. Another time, some time that isn't so lust filled like this one.
Jisung’s thrusts are growing sloppy. His grip on your legs tightening as his lip is caught between his teeth. And with just a few quick thrusts, he’s coming undone inside of you. White, hot spurts of cum paint your walls, filling you up and making you feel so unbelievably full. 
You’ve always felt close to Jisung – he knew everything about you and vice versa; but this time was different. The way his hands settled on your legs, bringing them down gently after finishing. How his eyes are becoming so soft as he looks at you, a lazy grin pulling at his lips. You’ve never felt closer to Jisung as you do in the moment. As his body collapses next to yours, pulling you in and holding you close as you recover from your highs, you’re completely at peace.
“Sorry I got carried away, I guess I should have asked if you’re on birth control still,” he laughs, burying his face into the crook of your neck. 
“Don’t worry, I am,” you chuckle alongside him.
Your naked bodies tangle together, his leg weaving its way through yours to be as close to you as possible. He’s intoxicated by you, closing his eyes as he rests against your body in complete bliss. Now that he has you this close he never wants to let go; and neither do you.
“Can I tell you something?” His voice is soft, whisper like but still holding confidence; his tone never falters.
“Anything.”
“I love you, Y/N.”
Butterflies erupt in your tummy, your heart thudding in your chest as heat rises to your cheeks. He loves you. It's not that friendship kind of love anymore; it's the relationship kind. The same kind that makes your heart skip a beat and body riddle with every emotion in the book. The kind that keeps you up all night thinking about – but also helps you fall asleep, knowing he’ll be there in the morning.
And all of a sudden it seems so stupid that you were fighting those words back in the heat of the moment just a few minutes ago. He felt it too, you always knew that.
“I love you, Jisung.”
Being in love is a dumb concept. All guys suck, relationships are stupid and love is a social construct that you didn’t feel like conforming to. There was absolutely no one that you would waste your time on, until Jisung came around. What you had been looking for your entire life has always been right infront of your eyes – you were just too dumb to see it.
Maybe love is alright, after all.
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‘Perfect Score’ is copyright 2020-2021 @chaangbin, all rights reserved. Please do not repost on any platform or translate without permission.
↠ A/N this fic has been rewritten/reconcepted from my previous BTS fic Crush Culture.
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913 notes · View notes
oliverthesquid · 3 years
Text
Detective Terukane AU idea??
Okay so I was having Terukane brainrot and i came up with this whole AU about them that I reallllyyyy wanna write a fanfic but i have no idea how to start or if people would even like it so I decided to post about it on here in hopes to get some responses/support as well as some help if possible! What I have written below is my ideas so far. They’re a bit messy , not really organized, and i say maybe a lot because I’m not sure if they’re even good ideas but please take a look if you’re interested!
on a unrelated but related note, if you’re interested in this AU and would like to see me write about it please tell me/talk to me so I can have some sort of motivation to make this happen! Also If you have ideas/suggestions/critiques please tell me as well because I’m kind of a beginner when it comes to writing and suggestions could mean a lot! I need all the help I can get!!
Now onto the actual AU
Basics:
Basically Akane is a thief or some sort of criminal and Teru is the top detective in the department and catches him. However, he needs his help to get to the bottom of a case that theyre working on and getting help from an inside source such as akane could help drastically. Somehow(idk how yet) teru manages to get akane to agree to help him
possible moments/ideas for this??:
akane gets shot while they’re chasing a criminal to get to the bottom of the case and Teru lets the criminal escape so he can help Akane (and obviously he gets all confused about it because he just let a criminal go to save another criminal somebody that he should hate)
Its nighttime and they go outside. Akane decides to show Teru his favorite spots hang out which are specifically the rooftops where they can look down at the city below. They admire the scenery together and maybe they have to walk across a tightrope to get to certain spots and teru is maybe a little scared (but he wont admit it). However, akane holds him steady and helps him across (sort of like in the book rooftoppers??)
Guys what if,,, they kiss on the rooftops in the moonlight that would be really cool i think
Both of them are pining but are in denial
A lot of them just bugging each-other and its really cute
Instead of the school mysteries theyre all sort of criminals and they each have like a specialty according to what their rumor was/is
Instead of “president minamoto/teru” its detective minamoto/teru
Maybe the have to go to a bar for some reason and somebody slips something into akane’s drink without him noticing. Teru obviously has to help him and get him out of there
Akane hangs on top of the rooftops a lot especially when hes sad or thinking
Teru getting scared of getting attached to people
something to do with Akane’s childhood and why he joined the clockeepers. Possible idea for why he joined them is that maybe he was an orphan as a kid and they somehow tricked him into joining them? (like in the manga) but despite that hes still with them after many years and they’re all pretty close friends
Relating to the orphan akane idea; maybe as a child akane got to know and be friends with aoi (female) and started developing a crush on her. However, after he joined the clock keepers he started to see and talk to her less and less. He still has feelings for her (not for long 👀) but has never told her how he feels. Since hes a criminal now he cant bear to face her like that so he just watches and admires her from afar.
One day teru and akane are out doing work on the case or whatever and akane spots aoi at a cafe. He sort of grabs teru and sits him down at a table nearby so he can observe aoi. (Basically she’s out with one of her male friends and later the guy confesses to aoi but she rejects him) Teru asks him whats going on and Akane tells him about her and his feelings for her. However he admits that she’ll probably never like him but he’s just watching her from afar (that one line akane says about aoi before he saves her and reveals himself as the clock keeper in the manga) Teru starts to feel jealous but he doesn’t know why. Why should he feel jealous? It’s not like he likes Akane... Oh shit.
maybe the criminal theyre trying to catch is Hanako?? (since in the manga is the leader of the seven mysteries so here he would also be like the leader) and also!! If the criminal they’re trying to catch is Hanako: Teru is trying to catch Hanako because his boss told him to. However, it turns out that his boss is Tsukasa (but he doesnt know this) and Tsukasa is trying to get reuinted with Hanako (same sort of relationship as in the manga) through the means of catching him with the police. Possibly Akane discovers this and tell Teru. Teru struggles about what he should do and Akane helps him through)
Instead of the school mysteries theyre all sort of criminals and they each have like a specialty according to what their rumor was/is
(idea) the 4 pm bookstack are instead a base where tsuchusgusmori has information on basically everyone and everything. For the right price, he’ll give anyone that information
(idea) the clock keepers are instead a little band of thiefs who live on top of a huge clock tower (or something and thats why theyre known as the clock keepers) obviously, akane is a part of that band
(Yako/ misaki stairs idea ) maybe way too dark for the story but yako runs a tiny little doll shop in the city but underground, its access into any area and any exclusive event possible (because her boundary is space). She can get you into practically everything including private rooms with security ect. however she won’t get you out, you have to figure out how to get back on your own. And the price to get into one of these places is a human body part. The harder it is to get into the higher the price is. (so like low class events would be like a finger, blood, ect. And super high class events would be like an arm, a head, eyes) shes gathering bodyparts to possible revive/recreate her dead lover (miskai)
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nahoyaglock · 3 years
Text
WHEN I STOP BREATHING..
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pairings! ushijima x reader
summary! sitting on the beach, so close to each other they can hear each other’s heartbeats. They both smile and they watch the world end right in front of them, reminiscing on all they’ve been through together. Why does the end of the world look so beautiful?
genre! angst
word count! didnt bother actually counting so ill estimate maybe 2000+
warnings! end of the world, death, murder mention, slight ooc ushijima idk its the end of the world so pff
a/n! uh idk i wanna hurt people, sorry if this is bad i havent written in a while :p i feel like the beginning was really good, the middle was ass and the end was okay but hoh im happy enough w this. I also cried writing this ngl lmaoo also did not fix any errors so my bad
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You knew it was coming, you both did. New reports, articles, it was trending on all social media platforms. It was unavoidable, what could you do but waste away your last few days, watching old shows you watched as a kid, harsh knocks and cries from your doors from friends and family. You couldnt face them, you just wanted to drown out the thought of what was coming the next few hours of the day.
You had woken up and sluggishly dragged yourself from the comfort of your bed to your dirty kitchen, littered with dirty dishes and some uneaten food that youd try to make, but didn't have the stomach to eat. Your phone rang atleast every hour or two, many unanswered calls and long voicemails you couldnt bother to listen to.
There was a knock on your door, and you sighed, not wanting to bother with facing the person at the door. You turned on your heels, about to head to your room when you heard the voice call out to you.
"y/n."
Out of all the people why did it have to be him. You bit your lip and let out shaky breaths. You took another step, freezing at another set of knocks. The last persom you wanted to see was your boyfriend.
"y/n let me in or ill tear this door down." His voice was stern, laced with seriousness and slight concern. You wanted to open it, let him in and crumble into his arms, but it hurt so bad.
"Go away." You spoke, loud enough to be heard through the door, but not loud enough to be a yell.
"y/n."
You hesitantly walked to the door, unlocking the bottom lock, the top lock remaining unlocked, too bothersome for you to have delt with anyways. At the sound of the click of the locks he opened the door with quick motions, while also being careful not to knock you over.
At the sight of his big frame you felt like the world had just stabbed you through the chest 28 times. You backed up with quick steps are your boyfriend reached out to hug you, scared that his touch would break down your facade. You tripped over your own feet, landing hard on your butt.
"Ush.. Ushijima," you started, not knowing exactly what you were trying to say, "Please dont touch me."
His heart sank when he saw you, lifeless and so frail. He guessed you havent been getting much sleep- or maybe too much sleep, and not eating as he took a quick glance towards the food littered kitchen counter.
It wasnt any better for you, seeing your normally cold and calm boyfriend with a worried expression and eye bags that made it obvious he hasnt got much sleep either.
You pull yourself up, your eyes boring through your boyfriends abdomen as you bit your lip, trying to think of what to say, and to also keep yourself from falling apart. "What do you want?"
"y/n. Dont be cold to me." It wasnt a question, but it wasnt a demand. "Sorry," you mumbled, leaving you two in silence for a while.
"Ushi, you should go home," you said, feeling your heart race, every second you spent in his presence, under his gaze, killed you. "You should call Tendou or something."
"Toshi." He said, making your head shoot up, looking him in his eyes, seeing a tear roll down his cheek, his face remaining mostly emotionless, fear slightly present in his eyes. "Please keep calling me Toshi."
You felt a pang in your heart, suddenly the reality of things hitting you. You were the only one going through this, you knew this but never gave it more than a mere thought. He was scared, he didnt know what he was doing, he just knew to find comfort in you, like youve told him to for many years into your relationship.
"Toshi," you breathed, reaching up to wipe the tear from his cheek, "Toshi lets go somewhere."
You never felt the need to go outside, wanting to be isolated, but being here with your boyfriend, you felt like running away, wanting to escape from the dark pit of your home. "Lets go to the beach"
"y/n–"
"Lets go. Lets go, right.. right now Toshi," you felt as if though youve felt shoked by lightning, like you suddenly got hit with some sugar rush.
"We dont have time–"
"We do Toshi, we do, we do," you saw the corner of his lips raise up into a small smile. He hated seeing you like this but he was glad you were more alive than you were minutes before. You knew this, what he was thinking, and you knew his smile had so much sadness behind it, "we have time, lets go, lets go!"
You grabbed his hand and dragged him out of your apartment, not bothering to change from your days out clothing or close the door behind you. It wouldnt matter in another hour anyways.
The ride there was mostly silent, songs playing quietly on the radio. You watched as you passed through the town, the streets were slightly empty, stores looked run down, some stores even tore up and empty.
"Has it been like this since.. since the announcement?" You mumbled, earning a hum for Ushijima.
"Yeah, yeah it has." He knew that you didnt go out, and he was slightly grateful for it. The world went to shit after the announcement, many lootings, murders and other various crimes being commited.
"Im glad your safe Toshi," you spoke into your palm.
"Im glad your safe too."
The ride went on in silence until you got to the beach. You both climbed out of the car, the beautiful blue sea sparkling under the sunny sky. It was funny how such a depressing day could look so so beautiful.
"Hmm, this is the beach we went to with the team our senior year, remember?" He asked and turned to face you. The fear in his eyes was much more evident in the light, along with signs of personal neglict. He hasnt been taking good care of himself either.
You walk around the front of the car to grab his hand, your small hands tracing light circles on his rough palms before linking your hands together, giving him a comforting squeeze. "I remember."
He let out a shaky breath he didnt know he was holding in, and you two found a nice spot on the beach to sit and watch the sky. "Toshi, do you remember the time goshiki got gummy bears stuck in his nose?"
He looked at you, and his face softened, "yeah. Yeah i do." He let out a small chuckle at the thought of his old teammates. "Do you remember when Tendou took my water bottle and filled it with really sour lemonade?" He asked, you could hear his voice unravel into a more comfortable tone, instead of one holding in so much hurt and fear.
"Ha, i actually helped him with that you know?" You spoke up, a small grin on your lips as your boyfriend grabbed your waist, pulling you closer to him. "We'll its okay, because it was 2 years ago."
It had been 2 years. 2 years since you had become shiratorizawas manager, 2 years since you made the number 1 ace fall head over heels for you, 2 years since you had went on your first date with him.
"2 years, its been so long." You laid your head on Ushijimas arm, feeling tired. He wrapped his arm around your shoulders and placed a kiss atop your head.
"Thats when we first started dating," you spoke, shoulders shaking with a small laugh, "i would've never imagined to have the nations number 1 ace fall so madly in love with me." You laughed and turned to your boyfriend to continue your teasing, but stopped when you saw him looking back at you.
He couldn't respond with anything more than a mere chuckle, tears now streaming down his cheeks. You bit your lip, scooting closer to him so you were in his lap, wrapping your arms around his large stature.
"Toshi, I love you." It was no more than a whisper and he placed a warm, loving kiss to your temple, rubbing your back softly as he let out a shaky laugh.
"y/n god, you make it so hard not to cry." He whispered in an unstable tone, resting his head atop yours. "I love you too."
This was how it was, clinging to the other and sharing old tales of your days spent with Ushijima and the boys, tales of times tendou had snuck out of the dorms and got caught by washijou, or when goshiki cut his bangs too short, or how Ushijima brought your parents a half eaten watermelon as a gift.
Those last moments spent with laughs and tears, kisses and hugs, warmth and comfort, those were your best memories. Despite the fate to cross you, Ushijima and everyone else in the world, you felt like you could smile for the first time.
You would smile alot, but it felt different this time. You convinced yourself that it was just because you had been withering away for the past days, but you knew it was because you felt free.
You had no worries in the moment with your lover, you didnt need to think about getting up for work the next day, or how you would afford next months rent. You felt like the largest weight had been lifted off of you, and you could really smile for the first time.
There was a slightly rumble if the ground that had made you and Ushijima go silent. You pulled away from your spot in the crook of his neck to look at him, fear still in his eyes.
"I dont wanna die," he chuckled out, "but im not sad." He drew small shapes into your hips with his thumbs, looking onto your laps instead of your face, and you just stared at him.
His usually stoic face was calmed, relaxed, his jaw unclenched and his eyes soft. You hadnt seen so many emotions from your boyfriend so much, it was almost scary. But he looked so gorgeous, he was your world.
"Wakatoshi Ushijima, you know," your placed your hands on both sides of his face, "it doesnt matter what happens to this world, because," you placed a passionate kiss to his lips, the tears finally falling from your eyes, "you, you're my world Toshi."
He let out a noise that was similar to a choke, tears rolling down the apple of his cheeks as he placed his forehead to yours, letting his shoulders shake with hard sobs. Loud crashes, screams and car alarms had let you know it was coming, the end of the world.
The last thing you saw was Ushijima, smiling snd crying, mouthing out one last 'I love you'.
Why does the end of the world look so beautiful?
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© tomura-heart — all rights reserved. reposting, modifying, or copying is not allowed. do not translate. do not read my writing as asmr. do not plagiarize.
118 notes · View notes
satoruvt · 3 years
Text
for a moment i forget to worry
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pairing → xu minghao x reader
word count → 3196
genre → fluff + angst, college au ↳ tags: strangers to friends to lovers </3, college kinda sux, ROOMMATE CHAN MAKES AN APPEARANCE OR TWO, dance major minghao, reader is completely lost but its ok who isnt, lots of cute couple stuff, pov ur entire relationship with minghao. thats it, a sad break up scene, a solid amount of crying
summary → there’s something about minghao. maybe it’s the way he dances, vibrant and youthful, or maybe it’s the way he loves you. based off of hunger by florence + the machine.
warnings → i hint at sex but its pretty vague, i also mention a breakdown type deal (revolving around school/life after school)
a/n → first of all this was NOT supposed to be 3k words i dont know how it happened. second of all i’m only kind of happy with this HAHA i feel like the story itself isnt bad but i wanted it to match the song more ... idk :/ i hope u guys like it regardless !!!
pieces of you masterlist
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The first time you see him is by accident.
Really - all you’re doing is trying to find Chan. You’re passing by the practice rooms, looking into them in hope he’ll be there, stopping to gaze at decorations and medals and trophies lined up on the walls. It’s when you approach a room that music plays from that you think you’ve found Chan, but when you gaze in, it’s definitely not him.
You don’t know who it is, but he moves like nothing you’ve ever seen before.
It’s hypnotizing, almost makes you want to drop your things and dance with him. There’s a sense of youth that comes from him and it’s almost overwhelming - but it’s not in energy, necessarily, but rather from the precision of his movements, the technicalities that he seems to both follow and break at the same time. Something vibrant seeps out between the seams of his body, colors you can barely recognize as they splash against anything they can reach. It’s almost tangible. 
You watch him long enough for him to finish his performance (an unknowing one) with the last notes of a song you forgot was even playing. His eyes meet with yours, slow as he completes an eloquent turn, and at the same time, a hand meets your shoulder.
A small wave of embarrassment washes over you, and you turn towards whoever touched you, effectively breaking eye contact. “What are you doing here?” Chan asks, hair still wet from what you assume was a shower.
“Looking for you,” you tell him, following as he starts to walk towards the exit. “I wanted lunch, and you owe me for that time I took your British literature quiz for you.”
Chan groans but agrees to pay, and you laugh, though the world seems a little paler than it did a few moments ago.
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The second time you see him is by chance.
(Maybe.)
You’re waiting for a lecture to start, tapping your fingers against your laptop idly as you watch students trickle in last minute. It’s not a strict course, but it does start at nine in the morning, and most everyone shows up with a coffee.
You look down to brush a stray hair off of your table, and when you look up again, the dancer from before walks through the door, then looks right at you.
You feel a blush heat your face and it’s like he wants to make sure that you know that he knows, because he almost refuses to look away. You break eye contact first (like the last time, you remember for no reason) but still watch as his figure moves up the stairs, past the rows, and you hope he’ll just move past you too…
He doesn’t. He takes the empty seat right next to yours, and you don’t say anything, instead finding the peeling sticker on your laptop incredibly interesting. The professor comes in and decides that today he’ll take extra long to set everything up, apparently, and you want to scream.
“So,” the dancer says, voice quiet. It takes your breath away, the way he sounds. “Mind if I ask why you were watching me the other day?”
You cast a glance at him - not too long, you don’t think you could handle more than five seconds tops - and finally open your laptop so it makes you look busy. “I was waiting for a friend.”
“And?”
The smile in his voice is palpable. You’re already exasperated.
“You…” you start, finally deciding to look at him as some sort of subconscious power move. “You’re a beautiful dancer. It was hard not to watch.”
Beautiful doesn’t even cover half of it, but you figure he already thinks you’re weird for watching him, so you hold back the thoughts of youth and vibrancy and color. The dancer looks at you, almost blank for a moment, before a soft smile draws itself on his face. It makes your heart beat a little faster. He says “thank you” with a gentle tone, sincerely felt.
The class starts, and the two of you don’t speak throughout the next hour and a half. You type out notes on your laptop and you see him write down names of the paintings being shown on the projector, little thoughts and notes written afterwards.
By the end of class, your professor assigns an optional partnered project, and you’re more than prepared to head back to your apartment and start on it yourself. The dancer stops you before you leave, however, asks if you’d like to be his partner.
(And he says it like that, would you like to be my partner, polite and somehow sweet.)
You know your answer. “I don’t even know your name,” you stall, standing from your chair. 
“Minghao,” he tells you. “I’m Minghao, and I’d like for you to be my partner.”
You say yes easily, put your number into his contacts even easier. The sky is blue when you leave the lecture hall, trees dotted with pink and purple flowers, and it is all so bright that you forget it wasn’t this way in the first place.
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The third time you see him is for school.
Underneath the excitement of giving Minghao your number, there is the knowledge that it’s for the sake of an assignment. He texts you the day after to ask if you’re free to meet up to work and you tell him sure.
(Sure is what you send back, but he doesn’t have to know that you burst into Chan’s room immediately after, plunging face first into his bed just to scream into his pillows. Chan had sighed, turned around in his desk chair to look at you, then asked what happened. He gave you two minutes to rant and then kicked you out, back to your own room.)
You and Minghao agreed to meet at the library on a day that neither of you had any afternoon classes, and you get there early, spend some time working on other classes. You have somewhere around thirty minutes to freak out to yourself before you see Minghao come in, dressed like he knows what he’s doing to you (which is really just a hoodie and jeans, but you think it’s the cap that really pulls the whole boyfriend look together), smiling when he finds you at a table in the corner.
“How are you?” is the first thing he says when he sits down, and you pull down your laptop screen a little to see him better.
“I’m good,” you say, feeling your heart pound. “What about you?”
Minghao sends you a kind smile. “Really good. Should we get started?”
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You lose count of how many times you see him after that.
Meeting up to work on the project soon becomes just meeting up, and after the project’s done and turned in, it happens even more. You hang out and get lunch, send each other texts and stupid videos, take walks around campus together. The weeks pass, summer mellows into fall, then into the early days of winter. You develop a genuine friendship with him, finding comfort in his presence, looking for him wherever you go. 
(Although the crush is still there, potent and patient, stubborn in a way you’ve never experienced before. You wonder if it’s a sign of some sort.)
You’re in one of the practice rooms with him, sitting in the corner. You had a class nearby and he’d wanted to practice a little more, so you told him you’d work on your own stuff while he finished up and then the two of you could grab something to eat.
But you made a small error on your part - the dancing. You’d forgotten the way he moves (you haven’t seen him dance since that first time) and in no time at all you’re letting your screen go dark in front of you and watching him. Honestly, it’s not your fault, you really can’t help it. 
But of course he notices.
Minghao meets your eyes through the mirror and raises his eyebrows at you, and all you can do is look away, desperately try to get your laptop up and running again so at least it seems like you weren’t watching him for too long.
“You’re staring,” he says, long after you’ve looked away.
“Sorry,” you tell him anyways, immediate, quick. 
Then he says, “I never said anything about stopping.”
In a second, you look up from your laptop and up at him. He moves closer, crouches in front of you. His eyes are kind - they’re never not - but you think you see something a little more in them. “Sorry, I think I missed that last part,” you respond, blinking. Minghao smiles like you’re endearing.
“I said I want you to keep looking at me.”
You think you’re barely breathing when he shuts your laptop for you, slides it off of your lap and onto the floor (gently, with care, and it’s a wonder to you how he can focus on that right now). He practically crawls over you, one of his hands eventually reaching the junction of your jaw and neck and holding there. “I’m gonna kiss you now, if that’s okay,” he says, but doesn’t move. You nod as soon as his words reach your brain, eager and quick.
And the next few hours get a little wound up in your head, a little mixed in with the feeling of his body - that moves so youthfully, with so much vibrancy that it reaches everything around you - melting into yours and the sound of him asking you to tell me what you need, honey, and the still-playing slow jam music he was practicing to.
You watch him sleep next to you, hand curled around yours against his pillows, and think that nothing bad could ever touch him.
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The two of you… come together, after that.
Neither you nor Minghao use any proper labels, but you both seem to know. No labels are needed, really. You have each other and that’s all there is to it. And everything is really good.
You work together and laugh together like you’ve always known each other. He tries to teach you to dance with him when you’re in the practice room with him, pulls you up by your hands and guides you through your giggles. He was the first person you called when you realized that you had no idea what you were working towards, didn’t have a clue what you actually wanted to do with your life. He gets along well with your friends and you text his because they’re basically yours, now, too.
Winter turns back into spring, slow and easy. Vibrant and youthful. You’re not able to meet Minghao’s parents, but he meets yours (and you’re sure a quick introduction to his mom over a FaceTime call has to count for something). The two of you take advantage of the newfound warmth of the season and try to get out as much as you’re able to, with picnics and city dates and anything you can think of. A drawer in his dresser is reserved for your things, you bought an extra toothbrush for him to use when he stays over.
You watch him dance. It still feels like the first time, like color and breathlessness. You tell him he’s beautiful every time, feel yourself fall a little deeper when he still gets bashful amidst his comedown. You tell him you love him for the first time after he gets done with a performance - a proper one, for a showcase of the dance club he’s in. He says it back.
You think he put all the stars in the sky just for the two of you to gaze at them together.
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Things shift the beginning of your junior year.
Minghao tells you about a program he’s applying to, a proper dance academy in New York that could really kickstart his career. Training under some of the best choreographers and performers in the world.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” You ask him after he tells you, and he shrugs, leaning back in his chair. You’re studying at his apartment tonight.
“It’s just…” he frowns. “It’s so far away, you know?”
Oh. You hadn’t even thought about that, too caught up in the excitement of him being able to apply at all. A quick sigh leaves your lips, and then you reach for his hand, hold it between both of your own.
“That’s okay,” you tell him, though now that you’re thinking about it, you feel nervousness in the pit of your stomach. “We can work something out, though, when we get that far. We’ll figure it out.”
Minghao nods, a fond look in his eyes. He pulls one of your hands to his lips. “We’ll think about it if I even get accepted,” he says.
It’s bittersweet, but a promise nonetheless.
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Fifteen minutes after you get a call from Minghao, there’s a knock on your door. 
You wouldn’t necessarily say you’re worried, but, well. Everyone’s experienced the jump of anxiety when they get hit with the “I want to talk to you about something��� line. Nonetheless, you stand from the couch to open the door, mentally preparing yourself for any and everything. 
“Hey,” you greet when you see Minghao, opening the door to let him in. His face is unreadable. “Everything okay?”
He walks a few steps into your apartment, waits for you to close the door before turning back around to face you. Then he holds up a piece of paper, the creases from where it was folded still bending. You send him a confused look.
“I got in,” he says, a grin breaking on his face, and you blink, then feel your jaw practically hit the floor. Minghao only nods like he understands, and before you know what you’re doing, you launch yourself at him, holding him close.
“Oh my god, Hao, that’s amazing,” you say into his sweater, then step back to get a proper look at him. Youthful, vibrant. “I’m so proud of you.”
He seems to soften at your words, pulls you back into him again with a gentle kiss to your head. “Thank you for believing in me,” he tells you, tenderness palpable in his voice. All you can do is squeeze him tighter.
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Minghao spends a lot of time away from you after that.
You’re not really hurt in any way - even though he got into the academy in New York, he still has to practice. You get it, this is important. He doesn’t text you as often, isn’t able to stop by as much, and you miss him, but you know how much this means for him. But it gets… weird, almost, after a while. Strange, even for him. It feels weird that he’s set to leave at the end of January and it’s December and he’s distant.
Both of you are laying in your bed, looking at the glow-in-the-dark stars on your ceiling, when you decide to bring it up. “You’ve been… kinda far away lately,” you start, nudging him with your shoulder gently. “Everything okay?”
His eyes stay on your ceiling, but you feel the way he sighs. “It’s about the program,” he says.
“Okay.”
“And about… you and me.”
Oh. That doesn’t… sound the best. “About, like… what we’re gonna do?”
Minghao nods.
You say, “I wouldn’t mind visiting every so often. It’d be hard, but I’m sure we could find something to work.”
Minghao shakes his head, says, “no.”
You pause, and when you look at him he’s already looking at you. What does he mean by no? Does he want you to move with him? Or does he -
He reaches for your hand and you think oh.
His eyes are a little glassy. You feel the tears come, too.
“Oh,” you say out loud. Minghao squeezes your hand. “So this is… this is it?”
Your room is suddenly cold, and you want to crawl under the covers and stay there. The person in front of you is blurred into something unrecognizable, but you can’t be bothered to blink away your tears.
“I think so, love,” he whispers back to you. “I think it has to be.”
The two of you cry like that for a while. In your bed, loosely intertwined and broken. Even the way Minghao cries carries a kind of vibrancy that’s overwhelming, makes you think of the first time you saw him so long ago, and now -
When you manage to get a better grip on yourself, you ask him if you can still see him off at the airport. He says, “I don’t know what I’d do if you didn’t.”
Then you ask if you can kiss him again. He responds by kissing you first. 
And it’s sad, it tastes like salt and sorrow and you feel like the promises you never got the chance to make are broken. It feels like the most beautiful blue you’ve ever seen, and you know it’s only a branch of Minghao’s color.
He leaves soon after that, pulls on his shoes and his coat and turns around at the door to give you a tired smile. After he’s gone, you drag yourself to Chan’s bedroom, and once he sees the state you’re in, he offers up one side of his bed. Neither of you say anything, but the friendly reassurance of his hand in yours says enough.
You don’t fail to notice that everything seems to be washed out, a blandness you’re not used to.
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The last time you see him is at the airport.
It’s a cold day, despite being sunny. The airport offers little warmth, but you figure it doesn’t matter. You won’t be here for long. 
It doesn’t take you very long to find Minghao - you still look for him wherever you go, even if you’re not looking for him. Even then, it’s still so easy for you to find him, to pinpoint that vibrancy, that youth. He’s talking to a few others, you think you met them. Soonyoung and Jun.
Minghao meets your eyes and you freeze, but then he waves you over with a gentle smile. You follow like you think you always will. 
You greet Soonyoung and Jun and the four of you talk, albeit a little awkwardly, even when Soonyoung tries his hardest to lighten the mood. Eventually he has to leave, and Jun follows with a shy goodbye. They both hug Minghao before they go.
You’re not sure what to say, but after a minute, you find words. “I don’t know what I’ll do without you,” you tell him, a little selfishly. 
Minghao says, “you’ll do good. I know you will. I’m not worried about you.”
He pulls his phone out of his pocket to check the time, and you think he’ll give you a stiff and sad goodbye, but he steps a little closer to you. Looks at you the way he used to.
“Maybe…” he starts, then pauses. “Maybe we’ll meet again.”
Maybe, you think. Maybe.
“I hope so,” you tell him, then watch as he leaves.
185 notes · View notes
ashreblogsnow · 3 years
Text
Two in one! (tanjiro x fem!reader)
(a/n) hi! so this is literally just an edited version of My Dr backstory in my Demon slayer dr so I'm very sorry if thats not your cup of tea or if this is to filled with drama lol, I'm a very dramatic and just generally angsty person. 
italics are memories. 
Warnings: bad writing, language, angst, crying, blood, memory loss, drama, made up magic for my own convenience, demons obvi, fluff, marriage talk, supernatural stuff, female reader, Hashira reader, incorrect spelling, ooc Tanjro (even thought this is what he is like in my Dr), Fem!reader
Reader pronouns: she/her
Word count: 2k
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Both slayers are siting on the porch of a safe house after a hard fight.
Zenitsu, and Inosuke are inside healing and sleeping soundly.
It was 2 a.m, raining lightly.
"What's your sob story?" y/n questions.
"huh?" he turns to look at her face
"Why did you become a demon slayer I mean, everyone has a sad backstory."
"Oh, my family was killed by a demon. Nezuko was the only survivor, sort of. You know, cause she's an-uh demon." he rubbed his neck sheepishly.
"oh." she recognized him the second they made eye contact three days ago. this is exactly what she wanted to avoid. Him suffering because of her.
She should have taken him more seriously.
Damn it.
"What about you?" the sightly awkward silence was getting to him.
"I-uh-'ve been training to be a demon slayer since I was 10,"
"Family traditions and stuff, I didn't really take it seriously until final selection and even then I still underestimated demons-"
Maybe that's why she reeked of Heartbreak? he didn't smell it when he was in another room. only when he was around. did he remind her of someone?
That still leaves so many questions, why does she smell familiar? Why does she have a demon hiding in her honeysuckle scent? Why does she smell like him?
Even when they first saw each other she faintly smelled of him.
"Why do you smell like heartbreak"
That caught her off guard, huh guess he can smell trauma and emotions now.
Sighing she saw no point in lying.
"I was in love with a boy before all of this. We were best friends, I even snuck away from training to see him"
"It was going great, we were supposed to have a family, get married. As stated earlier though I didnt take my "job" seriously, after realizing what danger I was putting him in I-"
another sigh.
"I told him I was betrothed and couldn't see him again. I thought I was keeping him safe."
A laugh forced its way through her lips, (h/c) hair falling in her eyes, clinging to the new tears.
"then I ran into Kibutsuji. my dumbass didn't even know I had killed one of his top 3."
"What did he do?"
"Went after my ex-lovers family, killed them all except sister, Instead of killing her he turned her."
"what happened to him?" Tanjiro felt an odd similarity to his own past in her story.
"He forgot me, Muzan used ancient magic to make him forget me."
"That still doesn't tell me why you smell of a demon, *gasp* are you one secretly?"
"No, I used the same magic to turn me to a human after I got blood in a wound. It only worked because I hadn't eaten anyone yet and even then it only semi-worked"
He tilted his head in question, maybe this means how to turn Nezuko back!
"I heal like a demon and still have the benefits, not quite sure I can die which is a minus"
Her hands rested on her knees.
"How's that bad?"
"if you don't mind me asking" he saved it in fear he had overstepped.
"I have to watch anyone I meet die and before you ask, unless you know what demon attacked Nezuko and have its blood I can't help."
"oh, ill talk to her later I guess." he stated pushing himself off the ground.
"We should probably get some sleep."
"I'll be in soon." y/n assured him.
Nezuko huffed already cursing the evil being who caused her brothers happy ending to be ruined.
Once he was inside y/n spoke "You can come out now."
Nezuko steps out of her prickly bush.
The young demon slayer giggles.
"At least you remember me" y/n says embracing her
Nezuko simply nuzzled closer in response.
"God I hate demons-exsept you of course Nezuko I love you as both a human and a demon"
The pink eyed demon already drifting asleep, looked up at y/n to put one more thought into her mind.
'if you have the magic to give him his memories back why won't you?'
Y/n inhaled.
"I am the reason his family died. As kind as he is he could never forgive me for that, I ruined my chances of a life with him the second I failed to protect him."
*
*
"lets just get married alreaddddy" The girl whined clinging to his side tighter as he tried to walk away "y/n, we aren't even of age yet. I have to take care of my siblings and your have your secret job you won't even tell me about" he was gripping her arms now actively trying to shove her off.
"But tanjiroooo-"
"no buts" he finally pried her arms off. "I'll see you once you're done with your mysterious ritual"
"ITS NOT A RITUAL!" she shouted as he left.
*
*
"I'm betrothed."
"what?" it felt as though a stake had pierced his heart. like he was a vampire and garlic had just been shoved down his throat.
"I'm sorry, I don't think we will be able to see each other again" as much as the Meer idea of being permanently separated broke both of them to tiny pieces she must do everything she can to keep him safe.
She just...wasn't safe anymore, she had killed demons, people you name it, its blood was on her hands.
"but I love you y/n you can't do this... not to me. no-not to us?"
"there can't be an us anymore Tanjiro, it was foolish of us to think it would work out. you deserve better than me, you deserve someone who is just as kind as you"
"don't you get it!?!? I don't want anyone but you!"
"I-im sorry tanjiro."
She took off. leaving him crying under a cherry tree that would normally be considered elegant, but now it seemed droopy and blue.
*
*
Maybe. just maybe if she had protected him by not running away things would be fine. he wouldn't look at her and see a unfamiliar face.
"you wouldn't even be a demon slayer if we had just never met." tears were flowing again, her skin wetting.
The poor black and maroon haired boy was more confused than before, coming back to a crying y/n thinking aloud 'you wouldn't be a demon slayer if we hadn't met' who the hell is she talking about? since when was Nezuko so close with her?
he heard her whisper one thing to his sleeping sister before he ran to his room seeing her get up, not wanting to be caught.
"your family would still be here if it weren't for me, I'm so so sorry Nez"
The nickname triggered a brief vision.
*
*
"Nez get away from the sharp rock! you could cut your kimono!"
All he could see from his angle on the grass was a light blue kimono flowing In the wind seemingly belonging to the person chasing his little sister. It felt so warm. Not uncomfortably warm but the warm you feel when you kiss your lover or receive praise from your mother, but the vision ends just as quickly as it began.
*
Later that night
Tanjiro pov ig?
*
"-where are you?" Tanjiro was trying to sound serious but his chuckle gave him away.
"over here love"
i could see myself running down the mountain towards the voice.
'What in the world?'
I ran after him, or me? goodness this is confusing.
"I caught you!" Tanjiro shouted, running up to the young girl I don't exactly recognize. Is this some messed up fantasy of mine? about somebody I don't even know?
"well I wasn't running away or anything" she giggled leaning onto my shoulder, gazing into my eyes. they weren't like mine now, they held no pain.
I can see her now. she looks like y/n-, she has the same angelic (h/c) hair, (e/c) eyes sparkling, gaze filled with love.
'God Tanjiro you just met her don't be a creep.'
"Did Nezuko give you this?" he sat on the blanket next to her.
'thats nezukos signature but I've never seen that blanket'
"she said she made it just for me, a way of thanking me'"
"what was she thanking you for?"
"putting a smile on your face." they inched closer together until their lips met in the middle.
*
Gasping tanjiro clutched his chest.
Confusion again flooding his senses, overwhelming him.
He didn't see his family in his dreams, he saw a complete stranger. not even somebody he could call a friend showed up in his dream. kissing him. Considering that she was at the center of all his confusion he was seriously considering running to her room. But he quickly reconsidered and decided going to sleep was obviously the best option.
Y/n on the other hand was suffering through her usual nightmare.
*
"no...no....no...no..I-didnt mean to-"
"but you did"
"our blood is on your hands'
"you killed us"
she collapsed onto the ground, knees buckling.
she couldn't handle it again, she was falling apart. not even her fellows hashiras knew what was troubling the girl. to be fair how were they supposed to? she had been that for as long as they had known her unfortunate soul.
"was breaking my heart not enough?"
she lifted her gaze to see his shaky form, towering over her he continued.
"you had to kill them?"
"you choose them over me? over our happy ending? I thought we were each others forever y/n?"
*
it was black again.
she woke up similar to him but she wasn't caught off guard by the nightmare, the tragedy that was the demon attack on tanjiros family played in her head maybe more than it did in his.
She vividly remembered How her body shook with sobs as she was too late to do anything, to late to save them. She killed them. she thought he had been viciously devoured by his own sister as she had seen too many times to be considered uncommon. But Nezuko didn't eat him, she seemed as human as a demon could be.
*
Later
*
y/n sits on her bed. contemplating if it worth the trouble to wake Nezuko up for company.
while a very reckless idea it didn't seem terrible in the moment. gathering her blanket she treaded to tanjiro and nezukos room. her shoeless feet making her silent as a mouse except for the occasional squeaky board.
cracking the door she stalked inside the room towards Nezuko in the back corner.
"nez, do you want to go outside to catch fireflies?" how Nezuko managed to hear the question in her sleepy state was beyond both of them.
they both managed to tread to the glowing garden at the front of the property. the fireflies seemed to be dancing with blue butterflies. Nezuko dropped her hand giggling after the creatures.
"come back nez!" The Hashira shouted after her. Trying and failing to hold in her overflowing laughter.
*
"Nezuko you can't keep running away from me, its hide-and-seek not tag!"
"I have to hide again tanjiro will find me!"
"hes not even the seeker what do you mean!" the (h/c) haired girl chased after her even more as Nezuko once again sped up her movements.
"boo!"
Tanjiro jumped out from behind a tree tackling his dear sister to the ground tumbling down the mountain due to the sudden force. The snow clinging to both of the kamados faces.
eyes squeezed shut, y/n was on her knees too amused to notice just how far they were tumbling.
"TREE TREEEEEEE" y/n snapped out of her giggle fit hearing nezukos concerned squeals. 
-
"if you hadn't taken me out and played the game right we wouldn't have hit that tree" Nezuko grumbled adjusting the wet rag on her head applying pressure to the bleeding gash on her head.
"Im sorry, I got hurt too you know." he rubbed his stomach as he had been hit in his middle body being forced to hug the tree, Nezuko had fallen backwards into the tree, still dazed from when they lost each other 7 feet away from the tree.
"can you stop stressing, what's done is done just let me make sure you don't need stitches."
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Who do you think your moots could pull and why?
Alright lets go I have...so many moots and if I forgot u its 300% my bad pls come hit me upside the head, also im bad at these bc I honestly just push my favourite characters onto ppl oops but long assss list below the cut - I love u all
@cafedanslanuit: ok I dont know why, but porco for u my friend. Maybe it’s bc the last fic I read from u was the porco and zeke one? but damn. porco. for sure. 
@kmorgzz: MY LIL CINNMON BUN. ok NOT GON LET MYSELF BE SWAYED by ur porco pfp - but i...kuroo. DO U EVEN LIKE HIM?? but I dunno why I CAN SEE IT. ready to fite u but also love cuddles soft friend and that WALL of a man? 
@flamingblinglove: U ALREADY KNOW 姐姐 U ALREADY KNOW. OFC U COULD PULL UR FAV flaming boi!!! I love u very much and love him for u! 
@alto-march-of-death: AL. AL AL AL AL AL AL AL AL. DO I NEED TO SAY IT. SUGA. FKIN. SUGA. I dont even need to - SUGA. also reiner. But mostly SUGA. 
@onwiings: LEN. we havent really chatted before so im sorry if this is real random but for some reason....connie? I DONT KNOW WHY BUT CONNIE FOR SURE. 
@boston-bakedbeans: I JUST GET JEAN VIBES. U COULD OUT SNARK HIM ANY DAY 
@daddyjackfrost: HANA MY SWEET QUEEN OF MAKING ME CRY OVER STUPID VBALL BOYS. I have so many. BUT L? L FOR SURE. u are an intellectual and he would be all :0 while eating his damn cake. ALSO. Bo-bokuto? he could handle ur energy and I would love to see it. 
@bellbee: armin vibes. You're just so dang sweet? I think it would be such a good match 
@kojinnie: KOJIIIIIN. ZEKE. ZEEEEKKKE. IM SCREAMING THIS. BUT LIKE- NOT THE MEAN EVIL ZEKE. THE SOFT SWEET ONE WHO WILL BRUSH THE HAIR FROM YOUR FACE AND KISS YOUR FOREHEAD IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT ZEKE. 
@onyxoverride: I was going to say zeke?? t he naaaasty kind of zeke where hes just obsessed with u, but totally not influenced by ur latest posts but MICHE. BIG MANS. also for some reason I bet u smell good. but not in a sweet or delicate way?? I bet u smell really good but in a way ppl cant place? so ppl always ask “what perfume/cologne are you wearing?” 
@peachysimp: MY SWEET MICHI 姐!!!! U DESERVE ALL THE LOVE AND CUDDLES IN THE WORLD. im just thinking of a big mans...mmm Reiner? Eren??? no problem for my sweet 姐姐. u can handle em. 
@deludedimagines: SORCHAAAAAA MY LOVE. MY DEAR. Levi for FREAKING SURE. AFTER OUR TALK - YOU DESERVE TO GO KAYAKING AND CANOEING WITH HIM. PLEASE. 
@aotwrites: iane. love of my life lane. pls drink some water I know ur working v hard. ok but why can I imagine a soft af erwin that u could EASILY pull?? like NO problem. he would be best listener and the shoulder rubs? after a long day?? IANE. PLS. 
@plutowrites: PLUTO U KNOW HOW MUCH I FKIN LOVE UR ZEKE SERIES SO IS IT EVE N A QUESTION WHY I THINK YOU COULD GET ZEKE NO PROBLEM?? 
@gojosweets: SWEEETIIE levi for SURE BC HEALING HANDS IS STUCK IN MY HEAD. u could for sure pull a grumpy injured Levi and make his heart go boink 
@hexbestfriend: Sierra my dear. ur other url says it all. but also, a big mans. so....Erwin for sure - I would PAY to see this bc u would have him just so into u and I just...im swooning 
@horseanon--simpforall: RACH. DO I EVEN NEED TO SAY. U WRITE THE BEST CUTE SWEET ZEKE. FOR SURE. AND SUGA. U COULD PULL THEM WITHOUT EVEN FKIN TRYING. I love u TOO much 
@misskasa: love the new url btw tea??? damn. also Eren. EREN. LONG HAIRED MAN BUN BUT NICE NOT PROBLEMATIC EREN. u deserve it all 
@thebubblybakery: MY DEAR. MY DEAAAARRR ur url is way too cute and for SURE. Levi. for SURE NOT A DOUBT IN MY MIND. bake him lil treats and he’ll chop the fingers off anyone who tries to steal em from him 
@yearning-moon: omg my new obsession is ur writing, but u would have no problem pulling our collective fav zhongli. no problem whatsoever im just gone u write him so well I cry every single time.
@lookslikeleese: I MET U THRU SUGA AND I WILL NEVER STOP THINKING ABOUT THAT. suga no problem. ERen. no problem. find u a friend that can do both. thats u. 
@doulcha: another easily Levi pull - honestly if theres anything I learned on this website, its that everyone has big brain and is cute as a damn button and 
@anlian-aishang: MY SWEET DARLING. U COULD HAVE ANYONE. HONESTLY. UR A DAMN INTELLECTUAL, BEAUTIIIIIFUL BEYOND WORDS AND JUST HNG I LVE U SM. LEVI. ERWIN (NO ARGUMENTS I WOULD PAY TO SEE U WITH ERWIN BC WOOOOW HOW SWEET) also u already know how much I love the idea of u with Farlan U COULD HAVE ANYONE U WANT AND U KNOW IT. 
@starstruckkittensweets: another sweET DARLING WHO COULD GET ANYONE SHE WANTED. ABSOLUTELY ANYONE but Levi. Levi FOR DAMN SURE BC HOW COULD I NOT. erwin too? absolutely. 
@unloved-cadillac: CADDY my DEAR is another Levi puller for SURE - I feel like u can match his snarky replies? and it would just be a lot of grEAT banter back and forth and phew 
@katsuhera: MY PENGUIN LOVING FRIEND another Levi lover who could get him with NO problem whatsoever. pls take his grumpy ass to the aquarium 
@therealvalkyrie: my wife my love my DEAREST. I mean we’re already married x4? 5? times?? so I mean u already got me so I think u already won this game. USHI GUSHI FITE ME. also suga. curl up on a nicely upholstered armchair, nice cup of tea, maybe some ice cream? gorgeous view outside, trying to flip pages but its lowkey a pain to do so because suga is doing the same in his seat, but ur arms are stretched out to meet in the space between the two of you, and ur knuckles are brushing 
@rulerofstars: ANGELLLLL u are another eaaaasyyyy Levi pull bc HOW SWEET ARE U 
@acekou: ...honestly anyone u want bc I AM INTIMIDATED - AS I SHOULD BE. and I love that energy for u. ERen??? Levi?? ARMIN??? ERWIN?!?!?? no problem 
@thot-farm: ME. I SEE U IN MY NOTIFS AND I HAVENT SAID HI BEFORE. but ME. U COULD PULL ME NO PROBLEM BC M LOVE U ALREADY. but I mean im no Levi and u could pull him no problem too dearie (; 
@xxdragonwriterxx: omfg LEVI LEVI LEVI LEVI LEVI!!! UR FICS ARE SO DAMN AMAZING AND THE IDEAS ARE AMAZING AND THE PLOT AND EVERYTHING and ur also so sweet?? LEVI. FOR. LIFE. EASILY. NO CONTEST. 
@jean-does-not-have-a-horseface: BIRD. MANS. HAWKS. DO I NEED TO SAY MORE?!?!!?  
@levilaughlove69: kenny. fkn. ackerman. no more words. 
@bluebellhairpin: SEE ABOVE. also Erwin - I know u like that big mans my sweet darling nemo :3 but also BACK THE FK OFF ALL OF U UR DRIFTING WITH ME SO ME. U PULL ME. EVERYONE ELSE CAN BACK THE FK UP
@unadulteratedtreecrusade: BEANBEANBEANBEAN IM THIIIIIIIS close to coming to visit u bc I love u SO DAMN MUCH. but HONESTLY WHO CANT U PULL?? LEVI. DONE. ERWIN. DONE. 
@1252291: N UR URL SAYS IT ALL. LEVI. zeke? BOTH? ANNIE VIBES TOO??? JEAN? im done. 
@babieweeb: another moot I havent interacted too much with 🥺 but ZEEEEEKKKKE 
@itspastellemons: LEYLA LISTEN. me. u got me. u can pull me anytime shh dont tell my bf I LOVE U SM I LOVE U SO DAMN MUCH R U KIDDING!?! but other than me ahem LEVI. LEEEVIIIIII FOR U BC UR SO DAMN SWEET AND HE WOULD MELT AT U. erwin? wrapped around ur finger?? REINER?? MICHE?? I cant even choose for u ur too powerful 
@alrightberries: I think ur on a Nanami binge rn AS U SHOULD BE. so just know that u could have that mans in an instant
@mysteriousmagicx: MY FAV WITCH MOOT WHO HAS THE BEST DAMN FKIN AUS AND THE BIGGEST DANG BRAIN. WHO CAN’T U PULL??? WITCH HANJI. VAMPIRE LEVI. WEREWOLF MICHE. STOP IT U CAN HAVE EM ALL.
@etherealserenity: ERRRREEEEENN I DONT NEED TO SAY ANY MORE. AND U KNOW WHY. 
@cant-spell-slay-without-lay HOW THE FK DID I NOT ADD U EARLIER MY DEAR PLS IM SO SORRY OMFG - but UR LEGIT MS. ACKERMAN HOW COULD U NOT PULL LEVI. case closed. ms ackerman is legit. 
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Can I please oh please request the kirishima, Midoriya, shoto, katsuki. who owns a pomeranian dog who is just like bakugo. and they ask for them hey babe can you please baby sit my bog how would they react when meeting the dog. 🙏���you can have my soul I need this in my life. (https://youtu.be/1Yy2kI70glc)
Omg yes! As a big dog lover and then seeing Bakugou as an angry Pomeranian, this is going to be golden! 😂 Also the vine, ahhhh I feel old!
Ejirou Kirishima-
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Whenever your boyfriend told you he had a new dog, you were so excited! Then you seen the bite marks, that’s when he explained the dog was a reincarnation of Katsuki Bakugou himself. You laughed, thinking he was lying. No, no he was not.
Whenever you arrived at his house, you knocked on the door. You heard a small, but fierce, bark. You laugh, you had to babysit the dog for the day while Kiri was doing some errands. He let you in, smiling. “Pebbles! Hey!” He said, pulling you into a hug. He picked up the Pomeranian and showed it to you. “This is Suki! She loves treats and loves shoes, so be careful!” The dog tilts it at, while you go to pet it. “Wait no-!” He says, but it’s too late. The dog bit you, your first instinct was to go full Iida mode with the karate chop hands. But you didn’t, instead you were saying a bunch of horrible words in your head. “Sorry! I’ve been trying to train her to stop!” He says, kissing your hand. “Are you sure you want me to babysit her?” You ask, now very cautious of it now. As he goes over rules, Suki is trying to bite your ankles, thankfully you’re walking fast enough for her not to. As the day went on, you had to put your shoes somewhere that she couldn’t reach. “Come on! Just like me!” You say as she looks up at you and barks. “Wait!” Thats when your idea pops into your head, you grab the treat bag and start to bribe her with those dog treat shaped bones.
As time passed, you were finally able to gain her love and affection. Or well, as best as you could get. Whenever Kiri arrived, you heard him close the door and yell out, “babe I’m home! I brought food for you and Suki!” You laugh as you get up to greet him, Suki happily running behind you. From that day on, you babysit her at least once a week. You became best friends with her while she still lowkey hated Kiri!
Shoto Todoroki-
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I mean let’s be honest, Shoto seems like a cat kind of man. Whenever he told you that he got a puppy, you were instantly confused. He showed you a picture of this tiny, golden Pomeranian. You fell in love with it, that’s when he asks if you’ll babysit. Not really caring about what the dog is like, you automatically say yes. That’s when you get to see how you might lose a finger or too.
“Okay babe, this is Aki, now fair warning-“ he gets cut off by the dog trying to sound aggressive by barking. It didn’t scare you but lord was it annoying. Whenever he left Aki with you, it was like leaving a mini Bakugou with you. The dog would tear up toys, shoes, bark at you as if he had sass, and even trying to bite your ankles. “Ah!” You say as you try not to get bit, the dog would somehow would act as if he was laughing at you. Over time, you learned how to master the way of the angry Pomeranian. You were taking him outside, playing fetch with him, so I mean technically he can chew up whatever out there. “Good boy! Now bring me the uh,” you pause as you look at what’s left of that poor stick. “The left part of that stick! Or what to be it at least.” And he did, it was covered in slobber and dirt, but hey at least he listened! Time went by fast and it was finally dark. You went inside, chilling out on the couch. Whenever you close your eyes, you felt something jump on top of you. You quickly open your eyes to only see it was Aki.
Whenever Todoroki got back, he found the two of you asleep in the couch. He smiled, giving you a kiss on the forehead and covering you and Aki up with a blanket. He made sure all the lights were off and that everything was comfortable for you so you could sleep good. Whenever you woke up in the morning, the puppy was still there. You smile and you lay your head back again after looking, who knew you could make friends with the Bakugou dog?
Izuku Midoriya-
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Midoriya loved any kind of animal! So it wasn’t a shocker to you when he got a Pomeranian puppy. It was the cutest thing you ever seen in the world! Whenever he asked you to babysit, was because he had to train with some of his classmates. You got excited because 1) who doesn’t love dogs, 2) who doesn’t love puppies, and lastly 3) who doesn’t love raiding your boyfriend’s fridge.
Whenever you arrived, the dog was asleep on its bed. Deku kissed you and went on his way. Whenever you were looking around, the water bowl had pretty handwriting with the name “Mai” on it, you smiled. It was so cute to see how he took care of her, whenever you were filling her bowl, she ran in there, almost hitting a wall just so you know. “I’m guessing your hungry?” You say, looking now at her. Whenever you take a bit longer than she was hoping for, she would immediately start barking and go for the ankles. You felt a sharp pain on your ankle, “ah!” You yell, dropping her food everywhere. Mai went to town, eating whatever landed on the floor. “You should of been named Katsuki you devil dog.” You mumble to yourself, after some time you realize that some things she loves is food and sleeping. So you offer to take a nap with her on the couch, and she loved it! She snuggled up to you on your chest and instantly went to sleep.
Whenever Midoriya got home, he found you in the floor playing with her. You looked as if you just got up, so he chuckled. “What’s so funny?” You asked, yawning. “Did you take a nap while I was gone?” He asked, sitting down his gym bag. You laugh, “maybe but that’s how I can bond with her!” You say, holding her up. She started laughing your face, he laughs. “She loves me more than you, that’s not fair!” Since then, you officially became the favorite. And honestly, it was hilarious at times! So you always said you would go and see mini Bakugou, while granted Katsuki didn’t like the joke, you thought it was hilarious.
Katsuki Bakugou-
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You always called him, your angry Pomeranian. He didn’t appreciate it and honestly it just gave off those vibes even more. Whenever he explained that his parents got a new dog, he asked if you could babysit. You loved his parents and honestly, you didn’t mind watching the dog. They were going on a family trip, since you know family bonding and all.
Whenever you arrived early that morning, you were holding your cup of coffee when you unlocked the door. The dog immediately started to bark and it scared the crap out of you. Let’s say coffee went everywhere! “Ah!” You yell out, the dog kept barking. “Okay mini Bakugou! I get it!” You say, cleaning up the coffee quickly. Whenever you went back into the kitchen, you noticed a note.
“Dear Dumbass, make sure you feed her and give her a bath. Here’s a list of stuff my parents want-“
You stopped reading after that, okay so a bath. Not hard right? Nope! It was one of the most horrible things you had to experience with that dog, Yuki, the dog, was barking and trying to bite the whole time. It was honestly one of the most traumatic experiences in your life, for crying out loud the dog looks like a wet rat in the bath! As the day went on, you slowly gained her trust. With different treats and games, she actually licked you! All you thought that dog could do is bark and bite, but apparently not!
Whenever they arrived, Bakugou came in first. He seen you and grabbed you for a hug. “There’s my favorite dumbass!” He says, kissing you. You laugh and kiss him back, you look up at him. “You realize that dog is exactly like you right?” You say, his face was filled with anger. “ARE YOU CALLING ME A DOG!?” He yells, then Yuki starts to bark loudly as well. You laugh and roll your eyes, oh boy this was going to be a lot to handle.
This was too cute! 🥺 also here’s my doggos, because I mean why not!?
I hope you have a great day! :) P.S, pictures of doggos are right below! ⬇️
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letters-from-eros · 3 years
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I know you don't have rules for that already but can I ask for relationship hc's for Chuuya and Dazai with a fem or gender neutral s/o?😳❤
A/N: Am I foaming from the mouth for my first BSD request? Maybe. I hope this is good though. I added in a short part on how they asked you out cause I wanted this to be different and unique from most dating HCs.
Pairing(s): Dazai Osamu, Chuuya Nakahara x GN!Reader
Warnings: Slight mention of suicide in Dazai's, cursing
Form: Headcanon
Also: These ran super duper long I'm so sorry
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You managed to cuff the suicidal maniac, huh?
Well done, my friend, well done
It took him so long to ask you out, and even when he did it wasn't planned. In all honesty, he never planned to tell you about his feelings. The excruciating part for him is that he did fall pretty fast, and realized he was falling even faster.
He didn't deny them, that wouldn't make it go away. He knew that. He sat and let it festered, hoping it would just disappear at some point.
Had the mindset of anything he loved he'd lose, y'know? Sad but so.
The way I'd imagine it happening is that you both are either working late at the ADA (with just the two of you there) or just at his place hanging out into all hours of the night.
Both of you are laughing at some dumb joke Dazai made and as the laughter dies out he feels.. Bittersweet. You make him feel genuinely happy, like there's no need to put on any mask or facade. That was not a feeling he had with anyone else.
Once silence fully overtakes you both it slips out of his mouth, purely on accident.
"I love you"
"More than suicide?"
"Y/n I'm serious!"
From that night forward you had the pleasure of being the partner of Dazai Osamu, with his feelings being released in an extremely cliche coming-of-age-movie way.
Okay, onto actually dating Dazai
Still goofy as all hell. Honestly the only thing that has really changed is the he lets you in a lot less hesitantly on small things. Its easier to put cracks in his walls, per se
Unbothered by PDA and will probably make out with you in public and not see why that isn't a thing that should be done or why you wouldn't like it.
(Just tell him if you don't, he'll get over it eventually)
Will kiss you everywhere, doesn't exactly have a favorite place, but where he does end up kissing you the most is your forehead for convenience. He'll kiss your wrist if he's holding your hand, too.
Clingy as all hell, always wants to be touching you in some way and becomes the biggest dramatic bitch when he can't be around you.
Kunikida will actually punt him if he says he'll die if he's away from you for another second. For the tenth time
No more suicide attempts once you two are dating, and doesn't ask for a double suicide with you because he knows it'll upset you quite a bit
He flirts with you like he's trying to get you to date him lmao he will never ease up, especially if it gets you bashful.
Dazai would NOT be dating you if he did not trust you a whole lot, so thats something that is pretty vital to the relationship.
That being said, please be understanding of the pieces of Dazai he keeps locked away to never see the light of day again and trust him just as much as he trust you. Its important especially if you don't want the relationship to be one-sided
Also with the high amount of trust he places in you, he doesn't get jealous easily. I mean he may get pissy that you're not giving him any attention but jealous is never the right word to use
Mf finally washes his fucking clothes once he starts dating you. Doesn't smell like the bottom of the ocean on a regular basis anymore.
Dates are always chill and rarely super extravagant. Park dates are often but Dazai's truly preferred date is snuggling inside, watching a few movies and slipping in and out of naps.
Belladonna is his go-to petname for you, of course, but he may bounce around with other petnames for kicks.
He will start calling you weird shit if you ignore him for to long.
Never raises his voice at you unless its in some joking manner. On the rare occurrence that you two have an argument he would need to get extremely riled up before he resorts to raising his voice. He tries to have patience and usually succeeds.
Dazai gets SO soft and SO loving sometimes, and it can be out of no where or something minuscule could have sparked it. All I know is that its nice and cute 🥰
He's usually pretty vulnerable himself when he gets like that so match his energy, alright? If you don't he might end up a little sour for some short amount of time and be more hesitant to get like that
10/10 Lover. This is by no means an effortless relationship, its a constant battle of figuring out boundaries, running into walls and respecting them. Dating Dazai isn't toxic if you treat him right and when you do? It definitely pays off.
(This got so long. I've had so much pent-up Dazai love and all around BSD love and I finally had an outlet to completely let it out)
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HUSBAND. THE LOML
Okay, sorry. But this man is the love of my life, and he will be yours as well.
Took him a while to really figure out his feelings for you, or to better put it, it took him a while to label the feeling he had towards you "love"
But ONCE HE DID mans was practically whipped before you officially started dating omg.
You could notice the shift in attitude when he figured out his feelings. He got nervous, went stiff and blushy all against his will. Maybe a tad bit more snappy.
He'd try to keep his cool and then just eat shit and become a babbling angry mess.
After every encounter and interaction with you he'd end up overthinking all of it and when he catches himself doing that he gets so upset with himself. It's really when he realized that he won't be able to keep his feelings a secret forever.
Definitely started avoiding you when planning on the 🌈perfect🌈 way to ask you out and blamed work if you asked him why he was avoiding you.
Anyway, the way he asks you out was almost as calculated as a proposal.
He asks you to meet him at the port and dress comfortably towards the end of the day
When you get there, Chuuya has a nice place set up for you both. A blanket and a bottle of expensive wine because we all know he's lowkey an alcoholic along with a very nice view of the ocean/port.
Chuuya made sure it didn't radiate too much romantic energy to give his plans away; also, he wasn't that nervous. Once he gets truly determined to do something, he doesn't let something like anxiety get in the way of it. The idea of being rejected was essentially an afterthough
Made an effort to make sure he didn't drink too much and neither did you. He didn't want to take advantage of the possibility of you being drunk by the time he asks you out and he knows he himself has a low tolerance
Once the sun began to set is when he asks. Stutters a little bit towards the beginning but smooths it out.
"Y/n, I uh.. I brought you to tell you that I love you."
"Have you drank too much already, Chuuya?"
"No! I'm completely sober!"
It was overall super cute and unforgettable, just as he planned.
Honestly, being in a relationship with this boy is just 🥰
Spoils you so much. You'll deadass be dripped out head to toe purely in stuff Chuuya has bought you.
Dw, he has an alright sense of fashion
Don't try to discourage him, that'll only get him to buy more stuff.
Chuuya's short and the concept of a size difference doesn't bother him at all, he'll find a way to kiss you regardless lol
On the topic of kissing, his favorite places are your lips and hands
He takes of his gloves whenever he's with you and let me tell you his hands are the softest things ever. Albeit his knuckles are a little calloused sometimes.
If you're anything like me, you'd want his soft hands on you 24/7 and y'know what? Chu would happily oblige.
He isn't like the biggest fan of PDA but certainly isn't against it. He'd rather keep things behind doors as much as he can. Holding hands and small kisses on the cheek are very fine by him.
He isn't like the biggest jealous type? He doesn't become overly irate or anything but certainly doesn't take any pleasure in watching you talk to other guys.
Chuuya does have some form of self restraint when it comes to that. Him getting a lil jealous is one of the only things that'll have him completely make-out with you in public or smth
Chuuya is very snuggly and touchy behind closed doors. He practically becomes Dazai but a lot less goofy
Oh yeah he definitely rants about how much he fucking hates Dazai now n again
Isn't huge on petnames but definitely calls you them every now and again.
Princess, babe and baby are his top few.
Chuuya definitely has a morning voice where it drops 2 octaves and its just 🥰
Never yells at you, its pretty shocking. The only times he's ever raised his voice with you is when its very obvious that he's not genuinely upset with you. Almost for comedic affect because it is angry short boy Chuuya
One may think arguments are often with Chuuya, but they're sort of not. He may be a pretty stubborn individual but he never argues to argue unless its Dazai-
He always works towards and agreement to end the argument as soon as possible. He keeps his cool and will never raise his voice. You can barely call them arguments because of how much he tries to keep his cool.
When he's stressed or had a bad day he gets extremely quiet because he doesn't even want the opportunity to open his mouth and take it out on you. The only words he'll say to you while he's in that state is that he's stress and you didn't do anything wrong just to make sure you're not worried over it.
All and all? Chuuya is the best and there's no way around it. He has his faults but always tries to improve and be his best self for you :)
(I had even more pent-up love for Chuuya and it got even longer, whoops-)
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s4ijoh · 3 years
Text
the theory of love. matsukawa issei
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MATSUKAWA ISSEI X GN! READER
GENRE: soulmate au; (implicit) college au; fluff; crack-ish?
WORD COUNT: 2.2k+
WARNINGS: (minor mention of) nudity
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in which you have a beauty mark in each eyelid…
what an odd place to kiss someone for the first time.
you wonder. all different types of sweet yet awkward scenarios on how this meeting with your soulmate would play out begin to surface — more precisely, on how this first kiss with them would play out. out of all places...
why would they kiss your eyelids?
these are certainly not the answers you should be looking to answer during class, you reckon, yet, betrayed by your own inner voice who, against your own will decides to take the reins of your mind, you find yourself drifting away from reality and diving deep into your own head, swimming in thoughts of soulbound lovers and silly first kisses.
a giggle threatens to slip past your lips yet it dies in your throat before it has the chance to escape. it is hard to know when to stop the train of thought before it derails and, as always, the same old question comes back to haunt you.
what is taking them so long?
the question could be worse, you reckon, much worse. when you were just a child, barely old enough to understand the theory regarding love and soulmates, you remember hearing these frightening stories about people who were deemed loveless. they were bound to spend their entire lifetime wandering the face of earth in an infinite yet fruitless quest to find their other half. how cruel, you mused, for the universe to deprive someone of love.
you also recall, at the age of twelve, now old enough to decipher those were not just some bedtime tales, feeling terrified upon the realization that you could be one of the so called loveless ones. were you? although it’s not exactly one of your most treasured memories, it is still fairly vivid in the back of your head — your eyes urgently roaming every inch of skin on your body in a desperate attempt to dismiss that possibility, only for the answer to be mockingly hidden out of your sight.
for the longest time, your pitiful self dwelled on the reality that you weren’t worthy of love only for your faith to be restored when recently, whilst doing your make up, you found the two tiniest, barely perceptible dots laying on each of your eyelids, the symbol of hope itself adorning your skin — the evidence that you were not alone in this world and that some deity from above had blessed you with someone to share your love with.
although in retrospect, the scenario turned out to be a lot more optimistic than what you had first expected and for that you should be thrilled, with each passing day, the hollow in your chest grows darker as you have spent the last six years yearning for the day you’ll cross paths with your soulmate.
your heart longs for its missing piece and unfortunately there is no map to lead you to it.
what if you only meet them by the time you’re too old, too tired to have any love left to give?
it certainly gets lonely when you’re left dealing with the hole on your heart meanwhile everyone around you seems to have found their other half by now. just today, yet another girl in your friend group found her perfect match — or so she thinks, its easy to mistake some random boy for your soulmate when your beauty mark is located on your cheek.
at least you can rely on the fact that the placement of your beauty marks doesn’t leave much room for mistake, thats a given. maybe you weren’t that unfortunate, after all.
“movie night at my place tonight?” you tilt your head up to be met with issei’s figure towering over you. as you slowly bounce back to reality, you shift your eyes to the clock ticking on the wall. you figure you were too lost in thought to hear the lecturer call it a wrap.
“makki’s out of town so you can crash in his bed”
you met issei and takahiro at the beginning of this semester and it turned out that there was more to the two quiet laid back dudes who always sat in the back of the class than what first meets the eye. the chronic bored expressions they wear on their faces at all times are quite deceptive for they are anything but tedious and just happen to be quite easygoing and match your level of sarcasm. the three of you clicked almost instantly. movie nights on friday were a regular but a sleepover? now, that's a first.
(mainly because, besides the two beds on their shared room who were almost a size too small to fit their gigantic limbs, the next best surface on their apartment to sleep on would be the floor itself.)
“just admit that you’re afraid to sleep alone in your room, issei” you begin to gather your things but not without taking a peek at him through the corner of your eye to check the look of amusement growing on his face.
issei keeps his collected demeanor, crossing his arms over his chest in defiance while smiling down at you in a relaxed manner “if you start snoring the same way you always do halfway into a movie, it might actually be scarier to sleep in the same room with you”
you scoff at his merciless comeback although unamused. you knew better than to expect him to give in to your teasing remarks without a fight
“it’s always the guys who can’t even afford a couch who think they’re funny, huh?”
to be fair, you were aware they had just moved in together at the beginning of this semester and the house decor was still a work in progress.
he lets out a lighthearted laugh at your comeback, accepting his defeat and you follow suit, smiling brightly and softening your features “you’re lucky we don’t have one or else you’d be sleeping there tonight”
issei pats your head softly before he adjusts the strap of the backpack hanging off his shoulder and begins to walk away, turning on his heel when he is a few steps away from you, remembering he has to let you know the details for tonight.
when he turns his back on you and disappears into the distance a smile creeps its way into your lips almost instinctively. (what a lost cause. look at you so oblivious to how your heartbeat seems to echo a little louder inside your ribcage or how your heart rate seems to increase it’s tempo whenever you are around issei. you're not a naive little child anymore; you should’ve understood the theory of how love works by now.)
some days on campus are busier than others and you have learned it's easier to daydream your way through boring lectures and classes for time seems to go by faster yet there is no better way to unwind than to spend a friday night on the comfort of issei’s and makki’s tiny cozy apartment watching lame cartoon movies in the tiny screen of a computer. it’s part of your routine now and you find it's also easier to go through an intense week of work when you have these weekly movie sessions with them (him) to look forward to.
issei walks through the door and into the room, grabbing a blanket out of makki’s bed before taking a seat next to you on his bed so you can share the bowl of sweet and salty popcorn he just popped in the microwave. you notice his feet peeking from under the blanket at the end of the bed whereas he's busy searching for a movie to watch on the computer that’s sitting on his lap — you make a mental note to gift him a bigger blanket on christmas since it is just around the corner.
you manage to convince issei to watch the grinch “to get into the christmas spirit” however, as soon as he presses play, your thoughts start drifting away. it has recently come to your knowledge that issei, just like you, still hasn’t found his soulmate — although he seems to be handling the situation a lot more smoothly than you. ever since the day you became aware of it, there’s this question that has been persistently lingering in the back of your head yet you have been hesitating to ask. you are unsure whether it is too early in your friendship to put your nose into more intimate affairs but then you remember it’s just issei, the worst he could do would be to mock you for your nosiness.
“issei,” he hums in acknowledgment while munching on the small pile of popcorn on the palm of his hand with his eyes still glued to the screen. “where is your beauty mark?”
the inquisitive look on your face morphs into one of confusion when he takes a glance at you with mischief gleaming in his eyes. why is he smirking? he pauses the movie, tilting his head back to shove the handful of popcorn into his mouth and placing the computer on the mattress before he stands up, your frown only intensifying upon the sight of him undoing his belt.
“issei!” you exclaim through a fit of laughter at the realization that he just pulled his pants down to reveal his bare ass to your once expectant eyes, your expression contorting to one of terror as you screw your eyes wide shut at his inadequate (yet all too familiar) antics. and here you stood thinking you had predicted what the worst case scenario could possibly be.
the wicked chuckle that erupts from his chest echoes through the dark room and you can hear him fastening his belt back on signaling it is safe for you to stop hiding behind your hands (not before you sneak a peek through your fingers though, just to make sure.)
“my soulmate will have to kiss my ass so I know they’re the real deal” the bed dips as he slumps, in a slouchy manner, on the mattress next to you, taking a glance to notice your eyes widening when he hears the gasp of disbelief that escapes your lips following his words.
“its a joke. you would’ve known that if you had looked” he chuckles still talking in that nonchalant tone of his whilst putting the movie back on.
“yeah. i figured, asshole.” you try to play it cool, brushing off the sound of your heart palpitating furiously against your chest.
half way into the movie and a bowl of sweet and salty popcorn later, your head starts to feel heavy on issei’s shoulder. he glances down at you only for his suspicions to be proven right — you have fallen asleep; just like he knew you would. he takes notice of the way you scrunch up your face, wrinkles starting to form in the corner of your eyes as you force them shut. the brightness of the screen is probably bothering you.
whilst issei wouldn’t trade his sweet bed for the world, given your tired state (and clearly out of courtesy), he can’t find it in him to disturb you so he decides to let you crash in his bed, he will take makki’s for the night.
“‘m going to turn this off” he closes the computer shut while whispering the words in a weary voice as drowsiness has creeped it’s way into his system as well.
“mhm, night” you yawn weakly while lifting your head from his shoulder with your eyes still closed as you manage to give him a clumsy goodnight kiss that lands on his ear before you move to a lying position and pull the blankets over your body, falling into a quiet slumber almost instantly.
his eyes widen in surprise.
did you just kiss him?
during the span of your friendship, neither of you have been the affectionate type sticking to a few sporadic hugs, which were rare nonetheless, yet he is not opposed to this new display of affection. he figures you must get clingier when you’re tired and it might have slipped out of impulse. now that he notices, this is the first time he remembers you kissing him and there is this foreign feeling flaring in the pit of his stomach at the possibility you might kiss him again. he lifts his weight out of bed and suddenly he’s paralized staring at the empty wall ahead of him. wait...
did you just kiss him… on his ear?
the world stops. his feet, although hesitant, are moving on their own as he feels a sudden magnetic pull to you and finds himself gravitating towards your sleeping figure lying on his bed. he crouches down next to you, silently admiring your features with mellow eyes and although his heart is a bit unsteady in his chest, he is overtaken with an inexplicable sense of tranquility. his heart can rest now, you finally found him.
that night you could’ve sworn you felt his lips lingering on your eyelids.
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[a/n]: ayooo, just to let you all know that i finally made a google docs where you can sign up for my general taglist (even tho i post like once every two months but its wtvrrrrr, its wtvrr)
the amount of times i started writing this fic and deleted everything just to start all over again because i hated every single word of it… I WANTED TO WRITE SOMETHING NICE FOR MATTSUN !!1!!!😡 but ngl it was kinda worth the time because im sorta proud of it!
this is the v v v first time im writing for him, hopefully the characterization isnt off… n hopefully you enjoy!!!! ;)))
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hnychn · 3 years
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𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄 𝐀 𝐅𝐔𝐒𝐄
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pairing: mina x fem! reader
summary: no one every thought you were capable of exploding, but they also didn't know they were only lighting your fuse. and it was slowly getting shorter.
note🐝: warning: homophobia!! i love this girl too much not to write a headcanon about her. also! i know i said i would be working on a hawks fic, but it's a lot harder than i thought it would be lol. so instead, i'll be working on smaller headcanon fics while i work on it! i have a little angsty one coming up next with class a's big three :) as always, lmk what you thought! 🤍 -honey
𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓
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so to begin with, your relationship with mina is very much ✨yes✨
like bro, she's so hype and energetic and ready to do just about anything
and you're so calm and down to earth and ready to do just about anything
you just go along with her ideas, no matter how crazy they can be
because you're 🥰whipped🥰
but i mean who wouldn't?
anyways, so as much as I'd like to believe this world is 100% a utopia, it isn't
so when you and mina came out with your relationship,
obviously all of your friends supported you guys,
but there were some people who would give the two of you disgusted looks in the halls
and they would talk shit behind your back,
but never to your face, assholes 😤
but y'all two are some ✨bad bitches✨
so you don't fucking care 🤪🤪
like talk yo shit bitch
but we all know you're just scared 🥰🥰
but recently you notice mina has been a bit reserved with her love for you in public
like, normally she's all over you and kissing your cheeks and shit 24/7 🥰🥰
ugh i love her
and she's a confident girl and you know she doesn't pay much attention to all the nasty words people throw your way
so you don't really worth much
but she has been reserved like i said
and you start to worry 😔✋🏼
in your dorms during cuddle time, you ask her
"is everything okay, amor?"
please i'm spanish let me have this 😩
and she just nods, "of course, babe."
so you leave it at that
because the two of you are so communicative in your relationship
you think she'll tell you when she's ready
but she doesn't
so you get even more worried.
and you go ask jirou about it
and she looks at you a bit weird because
"bitch you don't know?"
you shake your head.
jirou sighs, "some people have been cornering her after school and calling her some. . .not so pretty names for being lesbian.."
and you just-
I SEE REDDD,
REDD
you have never been one for confrontation,
and actively avoided it
but being friends with bakusquad only riased your chances of being in arguments or fights
you were the passive one of the group
the one hat kept bakugo in line
but everyone had their limits
and yours was just pushed 🥰🥰
completely disregarding the fact that first class was about to start,
you for their names and class number from jirou
and off you were 😌
the rest of bakusquad, who weren't too far off and heard jirou spill the beans to you, were hot on your trail
kiri was trying to rationalise with you, they all were,
🦈 "c'mon, y/n, classis gonna start soon, this isn't worth it."
💥 "be smart about this, dumbass! you'll get suspended!"
⚡️ "maybe you should calm down a bit y/n!"
mina and sero weren't there
the two went off to get some drinks before class started
and were chilling in class thinking y'all just went off to the bathroom or whatever
now, when you get to their class you just-
bURST IN
your hands curled into fists by your side and a calm look on your face
but your eyes were bringing with pure rage
their teacher wasn't there yet either
and you-
"where the fuck is nishida and akame?"
your voice was chilly calm and it sent shivers down everyone's spine
kirishima had a grip on the back of your shirt to make sure you shouldn't do anything stupid
bakugo and kaminari were just standing at the door
a boy and a girl then stood up, a condescending look on their faces
"what's it to you, bitch?"
i'm sorry i just can't write a homophobic slur it physically hurts me 😭✋🏼
"is this about us cornering that pink bitch?"
"you concerned about your lover, freak?"
"the pair of you are nothing but disgusting."
you didn't really take any of their comments to heart
but obviously mina did if she started to be more reserved
and your heart begins to race from all the r a g e burning in your body
because you start to imahinehow mina must have felt
have to face such harsh words alone
and bottling it all up
and how harsh they must have been to have her, a girl so confident and optimistic, become reserved
and in the blink of an eye, you
fUCKING LUNGE AT THEM
and begin to bEAT THE SHIT OUTTA THEM
kiri, baku, and kami are low-key cheering you on
but also ready to jump in if you start losing
which you don't 🥰
because you're a bad bitch 🥰
and you know how to fight 🥰
but you also don't realise that some people begin to record
oops-
i won't go into detail about the fight, you can imagine it however you want
plus i'm terrible at writing fight scenes 😭✋🏼
but eventually the teacher shows up
and goes to get aizawa because she recognises the four of you as 1-a students
so he comes, ahaha 😅
and he sees you going at these two students
(highkey proud you're winning).
now, aizawa isn't stupid
he's heard the whispers
and he hates that two of his students are being bashed for just loving
dadzawa
but he's a teacher first and foremost,
so he binds you up and pulls you away from the students
some students groan from the entertainment being over
aizawa glares at them
he gives you a little glare when you struggle a bit in his binds
"kirishima, bakugo, kaminari," aizawa's voice booms through the silence that settled over the class, "detention for not stopping this when i know you three could have very well prevented it."
but i know why you didn't - words unspoken on aizawa's tongue.
"you're coming with me, l/n"
so he unbinds you and the two of you walk to his office
it's silent when you get there and he gestures for you to take a seat
"do you know why what you did was wrong?"
you nod.
"you you regret it?"
your answer came almost instantly, "no. and i would do it again in a heartbeat."
aizawa nodded, "good."
and you-
HUH???? 😀
"i understand why you did it and i don't blame you for wanting to confront the people who hurt mina, but you also understand why i have to suspend you, right?"
you nod.
he nods.
it's a mutual understanding he wouldn't suspend you if he had the choice,
but he has to
so you're suspended .
and the videos the other students took blow up
and it gets back to mina
so she watches it obviously
and 😳😳😳
she was bLUSHINGGG
like bro-
tHATS YOU??
her calm bundle of joy??
absolutely hammering those two students??
she has a hard time believing it
but lo and behold, there's the charm bracelet the two of you add to every anniversary on your wrist
the one you're punching the boy with 💀💀
and -
she has never in her life been more turned on like-
hOLY FUCK THATS HOT 😫😫
"CAN YOU BEAT ME LIKE THAT PLEASE??"
like queen, what? 😀
she bursts into your dorm after school
and throws herself onto you
and
"baby the was both the scariest and hottest thing i've ever seen.."
while peppering kisses to your neck
and her hand slithers its way up your shirt
c h i l l s
"yeah?" you smirk
she hums and sucks hickies onto your neck-
😌😌😌 yeah. . .
shit gets a little steamy after that 😌😌
after,
the two of you are just chilling in the after glow,
the sweat sticking you two together a bit, but neither of you minded
mina traces over the hickies she left on your chest and neck, "you should get angry more often."
"if it'll lead to more of this, then you know damn straight i will."
after that no one cares to even look in either of your directions 😌
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