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haveyouseenherlately · 1 month

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nsfw alphabet: cute & soft matty healy x fem reader

so, i'm not a writer whatsoever, but i have thoughts (a lot of them smutty tbh) about a certain matty healy and wanted to jot them down as i need to try and get them off this brain of mine.

i have a type and it's middle part sometimes straight hair sometimes curly silver chain baggy clothes wearing matty, who in my head appears shy and innocent at first due to his fidgety demeanour (eg. running hands thru his hair constantly, mindlessly biting his bottom lip, repeatedly tapping his foot, etc.) but is actually very opinionated and witty with the people he’s close to, including you. he’s been your bff for years but is afraid of taking it further because he adores you and doesn't want your friendship to be ruined due to his big feelings towards you. he loves to hug you to feel you close and breathe in your scent, but honestly, he doesn't (or tries to not) have much physical contact with you otherwise because his mind, heart, and body cannot take it. he's enamoured by you and has been for years now to the point where he is 96.7% sure he's really, really in love. that's how it all starts and you do eventually end up together, but it takes some time... oh, and he has a crazy sex drive and lots of dirty thoughts about you. a shy romantic horny opinionated man who is mostly a sub.

nothing super unique, just mostly here for the soft bf matty vibes because we all deserve one of those.

(sorry in advance for all the grammatical errors, typos, and run on sentences. i'm not a proofreader.)

warnings: 18+, lots of smut with some fluff. this is too fucking long lol

other bf matty blurbs & rambles here.

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a = aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

this boy lives and breathes to take care of you, before, after, and during sex. anything he can do to make you feel safe, loved, satisfied. but his favourite form of aftercare is, hands down, using his mouth and tongue to make sure you're all clean. after he does so, the little ritual continues by spending time just softly kissing each other's lips. you both indulge in the lingering taste of each other's cum, but there's nothing dirty or aggressive about it. it's all gentle, a sweet reminder that you belong to each other.

b = body part (their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

if matty were to choose his favourite part of his body, it would be his arms. after all, there's a reason why he keeps decorating them with tattoos. makes him feel confident about himself and, honestly, doesn't mind all the compliments either. bless him. but he also has grown to appreciate his unruly curly head of hair, the reason being that he knows how much you like it after all the tantrums you throw whenever he cuts it. before you get together, you only play with it when you're too drunk or high, but when you do so it makes his heart grow.

his favourite part(s) of your body are your hands. so delicate with silver rings adorning almost every finger. it's difficult for him to not watch when you rub them against each other when you're nervous. or how your hand finds itself in front of your mouth whenever you laugh too hard at his nonsense. he knows you prefer dark nail polish vs. lighter coloured ones. he has imagined countless times how your hands would feel on him. sigh. he worships those hands of yours and would kiss then every single second if he could.

after you do get together, he realizes that, as cliché as it sounds, he loves your cunt. for one, when he first saw you completely naked he thought he could just die happy right then and there. but that was until he got to taste you and decided he'd much rather be alive as he could never have enough of your sweetness. and how it perfectly fits around him? he swears he’s the luckiest motherfucker alive.

c = cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

oh god. don't let the shy boy act fool you. he is FILTHY. it took a few months for this side of him to show, but you are over the moon when you find out how enthralled he is when he sees his cum dripping out of you. it all started one afternoon when you were riding him (his fav position of course, see letter f below). he finished inside you, his head thrown back over the couch while trying to catch his breath. after a few minutes, you raise your hips to pull away and carefully sit right below his stomach, making sure not too hurt him. once his breathing is back to normal, he looks back at you with those sweet tired eyes, gaze travelling down your body and ending at your spent core, where he notices beads of his white cum running down your cunt. the sight is almost too much for him, poor matty. he bites his bottom lip hard to stifle his whimpers, but somehow gathers enough courage to ask if he can touch you ("sorry sorry sorry i know it's gross. fuuuck. forget i said anythi--" "matty, calm down, baby. my sweet boy, it's okay. you can do it. i want you to.") his mind goes haywire when he brings his thumb to touch you, picking up a bit of his cum which he then rubs on your clit in small, gentle circles. sigh. but yes, cum is involved and you both love it. that's that.

d = dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

before you were officially dating, you once left a black shirt at his place, one of your favourites in fact! don't really know the specifics of why or how it happened, but you left it there and he found it. his sensitive soul found it difficult not to immediately grab it and put it against his face to smell your lingering scent. but it didn’t take long for his horny mind to take over and wrap the piece of cloth around his cock and get himself off. before he realized what he was doing, he had already stained your shirt and the shame he felt was unreal to the point where he could not look you in the eye next time you saw each other. “oh, btw, i think i left my top at yours. do you think you can bright it next time?” his face had never been more red in his entire life lol. it wasn’t until you were together that he confessed to it when you were playing an nsfw version of truth n dare in your living room because you were both drunk as fuck.

e = experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

okay. so believe or not, this matty doesn't really do hookups. he's in a famous band, yeah, but he's not really looking to get off with people just for one night. he will only do it if he feels a spark with someone on some level other than physical attraction, but he prefers the intimacy and closeness that comes with a relationship. because of this, he hasn't had too many different sexual partners, but during those few relationships he worshipped his other half and did everything he could to learn every single little thing about how to please her in the best way possible. it takes him time to get there with every gf, but once he knows what you like, you will never be dissatisfied. tl:dr not too much experience when it comes to body count, but will excel A++++ all around with the partner he's currently with.

f = favourite position (this goes without saying)

without a doubt, you riding him while he’s sitting up. can be on the sofa, your favourite dining chair, the edge of your bed (his preferred place), the back of the tour bus, you name it. this man loves close skin-to-skin sweaty contact. he is eager to keep you near when you grind yourself on him, one arm tight around your mid back, the palm of the other gripping your ass, guiding your hips back n forth. this way he can also keep kissing your face, neck and shoulders whenever he wants to and feel your tits against his chest. it also allows him to look up at you as you bounce up and down his cock, this which might be one of his favourite sights in the entire world, just as if he were worshiping you.

g = goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

for the most part the sex is a calm, sensual endeavour, but if something happens like his fingers getting tangled in your hair, him kissing your teeth, you accidentally tickling him, he'll be adorable and smile, letting out a soft laugh. you love that he's vulnerable enough to chuckle at a small mishap rather than him getting frustrated. he's too damn cute. you can barely handle it.

h = hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

sweet matty knows you love going down on him (which he thanks his lucky stars is a real thing as he cannot get enough of your lips around him) so he tries to keep himself trimmed down there. you couldn't care less tbh but it's cute and rather hot to see him that invested in thinking of what will be best for you and your pleasure. funny enough, you would've never thought he did so given his current nonchalant way of dressing (baggy clothes, torn band shirts, messy gelled hair). but this boy does like to keep you guessing after all.

i = intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

he cannot possibly be close enough to you (re. his favourite position being you riding him). you are his world and will hopefully always be, even if he had to wait what felt like a lifetime to finally have you romantically and sexually. both of you prefer slow and sweaty sex whenever possibly, filled with lots of sweet words and love you's and him nuzzling his head into the crook of your neck while you run your fingers through his hair. he's a shy horny romantic at heart.

j = jack off (masturbation headcanon)

our boy here has undoubtedly gotten off at the thought of you many, many times before you get together. whether it is him reminiscing about a certain memory and/or looking at photos of you, he's certainly done it. he's also been caught by adam when he's not-so-silently moaning your name while he's no-so-silently jacking off during tour. but because adam is a sweet soul and understands the hardships of missing the person you love, he doesn't give him too much grief over it (unless matty is getting on his nerves).

now, when you do end up together, there's a time when the two of you are high (you do that a lot), giggly, care-free and the topic of masturbation comes up for some reason. this is when it is confessed that you both had (obviously) gotten off at the thought of each other pre-dating and that ends up turning both of you on to the point where one of you suggests if you can watch each other do it. so that happens and mutual masturbation continues to be thing in your relationship.

and of course, matty still masturbates many times while he's away because you end up sending him short snippets of you pleasuring yourself. so he cannot help himself.

k = kink (one or more of their kinks)

it’s all about praising. he loves it. you love it. it's a win win situation for both parties involved and it couldn't be more perfect. because he can sometimes get nervous, your praises make him feel at ease. call him a sweet boy (his fav) and you’ll have him at your mercy. on the other hand, if you refer to him as a good boy, he will almost devour you alive.

one summer you were playing fetch with mayhem in the park “aww! who’s a good, sweet boy!?” and for some reason matty started chocking on the coke he was drinking “are you okay?” “yeah yes. cough. ‘s nothing. wrong pipe” “hm, okay if you say so.” five minutes pass and mayhem is cuddling with you while you scratch his ear “such a sweet, pretty baby boy, aren’t you mayhem? yes, of cour—wtf matthew, are you sure you’re alright?” you look back at him as he’s trying to aggressively clean the coke he spat out and landed on the crotch of his pants. after that you notice that he not-so-subtly tries to readjust his baggy jeans ever so often. you get a sneaky suspicion of what might’ve happened, but it isn’t until you are together for a few months that you test out your theory and praise him and he literally comes undone seconds after the words leave your mouth. he’s almost too much <3

l = location (favourite places to do the do)

vanilla answer, but your bed. the fact that he can have you in the place where you sleep just drives him crazy with lust. it's your space. it smells like you. you spend endless hours there resting, facetiming him, watching tv, (as well as pleasing yourself). so yes, your bed is a sacred temple to matty. amen.

m = motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

before sex: wear any of his clothes and that's almost a sure way to get him turned on. especially his jumpers and shirts. once upon a time you two + the rest of the band went swimming. after you got tired of everyone cannonballing into the pool (because they're grown men boys), you stepped out and wanted to get out of your wet swimsuit asap because you hate the feeling of wet clothes on your skin. without really thinking, you just grabbed his jeff buckley shirt (i love jeff buckley btw), put it on, and since it is way larger on you that it is on him, you thought "lalalala i'm just gonna remove my swimsuit here since this shirt is roomy and no one will be able to see anything." as you're doing so, george has matty in some sort of headlock (because, again, boys) but as he's struggling to get out of it, his eyes end up in your direction as you're pulling the suit bottoms down. this makes him tense up and freeze in place, so now george has the upper-hand and submerges him underwater. when matty comes back to the surface, he's outta breath, huffing and puffing, and none made easier because (unbeknownst to you) your wet body and swimsuit have made his white jeff buckley shirt see though. and since then he cannot get enough of you wearing anything of his.

during sex: pull on his hair when you're riding him and it's game over. he'll immediately get a goofy toothy grin on his face while bitting his bottom lip and adoringly look at you thru half lidded eyes as if there is nothing better in this life (because of course, nothing compares 2 u).

n = no (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

absolutely nothing that could possibly hurt you too seriously. you two eventually get into some harsher tendencies and kinks, but it's always consensual. he'd never forgive himself if he caused you unwanted pain.

o = oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

he absolutely loves both. he swears there is no better feeling than having your warm mouth around him but he's never too pushy or needy about it. you of course enjoy it too, but the best part about it is just seeing him come undone as he gets loud, sweaty, and shaky which is a sight you'll never grow tired of. and as mentioned on letter b above, he enjoys your cunt A LOT so he'll never miss an opportunity to go down on you. that tongue of his? unreal. but he's definitely noticed that your favourite is when he sucks on your clit so he spends majority of the time doing that. imagine you sitting on the edge of your bed, him shirtless kneeling down with your legs over his shoulders, and his head between your legs while his lips are wrapped around you, gently sucking and licking while you gently pull on his hair and tell him he's your sweet boy. it's heaven for the both of you.

p = pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

more often than not, it’s slow and sensual as that’s something that both of you really enjoy. from one romantic to another, you cannot get enough of the passionate sex.

HOWEVER, fast and rough comes into play whenever he gets jealous as he cannot help himself. but it's not in a hard, mean dom type of way. more in a "i'm all yours. i want to make you feel so damn good and please you so you don't look at anyone else. please do anything you want with me" type of way. the first time he ever wants to have rough sex, he acts all shy and nervous when asking you if it's okay as it's not his norm. but you're there to guide him through and make it easy for him. <3

q = quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

not really your or his thing, tbh. reason being that if you have sex, it never ends up being quick. you'd much rather be late to the event or appointment than to rush it. the amount of times he's been late to soundcheck is alarming, but it's not like they can kick him out of the band, right? one time when he walks into the rehearsal, flustered and with hair all over the place, he sees george about to mock him but matty beats him to the punch. "before you even fucking start, yes, i was having sex before this. yes, it was amazing. yes, i know i'm late again. that's it. i'm sorry. let's carry on." but the thing is that a sexually satisfied matty = amazing gigs, so the others cannot fault him.

r = risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

he’s down to try anything but only if you discuss it first so both of you are comfortable. again, he may look and act shy most of the time (especially with people he doesn't know too well) but he's known you for years so he's super comfy with you, thus he's game to do anything which might bring you pleasure as long as he doesn't seriously hurt you (as mentioned in letter n) because he wouldn't be able to deal with causing you any sort of lasting pain.

s = stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

tbh one of the other main reasons he goes to the gym (see letter x) is so he can last longer for you. you both have insatiable sex drives (see letter y) so he wants to keep fit in order to try and fulfill any and all desires you might have. once you get together, it's no secret to any of your friends that you have a VERY active sex life that they can only dream of and matty loves to remind them that they’re just jealous when they do make fun of him for it. he’s cute.

t = toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

he didn’t think much about them at first UNTIL that one night he was over at your place and opened up your bedside drawer, hehehe. so hear me out... our boy loves getting high (especially with you) so he asked if you had any weed as he very surprisingly (i know, i'm shocked, too) forgot his own. you just looked at him with wide eyes like “whoa, wait. you forgot? are you okay?” while you jokingly felt his forehead to see if he was ill. he gently swatted your hand away and squinted in mock annoyance, “fuck off... but really, do you have any?” :insert big brown caramel puppy eyes: you motioned over to your bedroom and told him that your stash was in the drawer of your bedside table. he struts over, nonchalantly, humming a tune that’s been stuck in his head since that morning because you’d been listening to it nonstop. he gets to your room, stares at your comfy bed wishing he could sleep with you, in both senses of the word, because he's head over heels for you. he'd do anything and everything you'd ask him faster than the words could even leave your mouth. he sighs, knowing that couldn't happen because you weren't his gf :( anyway, he bends over to open the top drawer of your left bedside table and start shuffling around to find nothing but books, notebooks, photos (including one of him napping, awe). he moves on to the second drawer to find a black lidded box which he opens and to his surprise (or dismay) finds your toys which causes him to almost drop the box altogether. his eyes gaze over each of the vibrators and other small devices in there and he cannot help but think of you using them on yourself. siiiiiiiiigh. a "did you find it, matty?" is screamed by you which causes him to instantly come back down reality. the box is put away and he speed walks out of the room, heading straight for the kitchen to get a glass of water to hopefully rehydrate his desert dry throat after his discovery. "well, did you find it?" "nope, changed my mind. don't want any weed. i'm okay. i'll just drink my water. here. in the kitchen." when in reality he was standing behind the bar so you couldn't see how rock hard he was. fast forward to right before you go to bed that night, you want to get yourself off so you go to find your fav toy when you see that the box is on a weird angle with the lid not fully closed. then it dawns on you why matty had to very abruptly leave that evening.

BUT ANYWAY, after you get together and your enjoyment for toys is out in the open, he loves using them on you which is a huge turn on for you because it shows that the seemingly shy boy is actually super confident when it comes to your sex life together.

u = unfair (how much they like to tease)

much like the cum play (see letter c), it took a bit for matty to feel comfortable enough to be a tease while you were having sex. he's not too much of a dirty talker (if you haven't noticed yet, he's a sub in this world of mine, sorry) BUT he eventually finds out that you love begin edged. so yeah, he has fun with that, going down on you over and over again until you are screaming.

v = volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

poor matty tries to stifle his moans, whimpers, and any other sounds that come out of his mouth but it doesn't work well for him as he always ends up being the loudest out of the two of you. this is another thing his bandmates always tease him about, as they can always hear when he's getting off on the tour bus or having sex with you in another room. and this is another instance where he reminds his mates that they're just jealous because of his amazing sex life.

w = wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

remember how i said i have a type and he's a chain wearing matty? well, once you both start having sex, he very quickly finds out you fucking love pulling on that chain to bring him closer to you. he also notices how you tend to kiss around the area where in sits around his neck. your obsession about it becomes 100% confirmed when he sees that the background of your phone is a photo of him shirtless but still wearing that silver chain. so he knows that he always has to wear it, a quiet sign that you control him. but one morning after his shower, he comes running to the living room, huffing and puffing that he cannot find his necklace until he looks at you. you just smirk and wink at him when he sees the chain around you. oh, he doesn't know what he's in for.

x = x-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

he once heard you say how you were starting to find "more conventional, muscular men" attractive so he took this as his cue to immediately look up the number of the best and closest personal trainer he could hire. fast forward six months and you're at his flat, drinking and listening to music with the band. who knows what happens (probably george's fault) but matty ends up spilling his glass of wine all over his shirt. UGH. "fuck me. it's embarrassing how many clothing items i've ruined 'cause of this expensive habit." you laugh loudly at him, obviously, but karma gets you once he takes off his ruined top so he's just standing there in his dangerously low rise grey joggers. that shuts you up as you just stare at the muscles on his back and the mostly defined v shape above his crotch. matty leaves the room to get a clean shirt without noticing you basically drooling over him. however, perceptive handsome ross does pick up on the vibes and teases you for the remainder of the evening.

y = yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

high. higher than anyone you've ever been with and you're thankful for it. albeit it is PAINFUL when he's away on tour for months at a time, especially when you cannot go and see him :( no matter how many photos or videos you send each other, it's never enough to satiate you desire to have him close to you. the only silver lining is when you both do end up back together, as you both know you won't be sleeping that night and won't be going anywhere else the day after.

z = zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

once the soft making out session is done (see letter a), he's gone. he's a sleeper. he's a napper. he's the big spoon and holds you close, lazily kissing the back of your neck before he settles himself against it. again, he's all about that close contact, gotta love him. but give him 3 minutes MAX and he'll be out. a tired boy has to rest, i guess <3

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ALRIGHT. that's enough for me rambling. not sure if anyone will see this but my mind feels about 12% lighter for now. until the next brain rot takes over.

if you happened to make it this far, you're a gem. thank you. you're the best. and i'm always free to talk about this man and smutty thoughts about him!

#still in my smutty feels #get this man outta my head #but actually maybe not he's too precious #this is TOTALLY not me projecting #this is way too long lol i'm so sorry #i like to ramble okay?#matty #matty healy smut #matty healy x reader #headcanon #matty healy headcanon #smut #i swear i still like their music but my brain cannot stop #bf matty #bf matty blurb

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nautical-nasa · 4 months

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Going to dump some of my side Logan/Loscar angst ideas with some ‘brief’ drabbles that I’ve thought about messing with bcuz I have far too many ideas to keep up with myself.

Also some of these are more mild than others so!! Yeah I’m gonna list that on a scale of 1-5, 1 being fairly tame and 5 being gut wrenching for what it’s worth

May have gone overboard on this. Whoops

Anyways here’s a list of each topic that’s written about so you can be prepared

Hanahaki Disease 3 (Illness)

Sacrifice 5 (Description Violence and Implied Main Character Death)

Omegaverse 1

Coming Out 5 (Homophobia, Child Abuse, Religious Trauma)

Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria 2

Overstimulation 1

Stay safe!

⛈️⛈️⛈️⛈️

1) Hanahaki Disease

Of course his pining would end up backstabbing him eventually. Just sucks it had to be when he also achieved his dream of being F1. While he tried to turn a blind eye to the affections of the two boys in Papaya, his heart wasn’t as oblivious.

It started with just a tight squeeze. Benny would notice his insurance suddenly dropping. He pushed it to the side, thinking it was just an affect from summer break. But then it got worse

And worse.

And then one day, while running on the treadmill, Logan was gasping for breath, slamming his foot down and jerking harshly, tearing the oxygen mask away from his face as he fell to his knees onto the floor, choking and coughing until he spat out a singular eucalyptus leaf.

How fucking ironic.

Benny is immediately by his side. Instantly recognizing the flora he grew up around.

Native to Australia and the primary food of Koalas.

Logan had tried to avoid Benny’s questioning, but he knew it was futile. The older man held the American, already well aware of the others feelings toward Oscar.

He couldn’t control his breakdown if he tried, sobbing into the trainers shoulder.

They stayed like that for the rest of the day, Benny not wanting to push the younger boy any further and wanting to just enjoy some time with him.

After all, how do you cope with the fact that the boy you see as a third child is facing certain death to a broken heart.

2) Sacrifice

Royalty Au.

Oscar is the Prince of Australia, heir to the throne.

Logan is his assigned Knight. Paired with him since the age of 5 so they form an extremely close and tight knit relationship.

They grow into themselves well. Logan fulfills his duty with the upmost seriousness. But he’s also a friend to Oscar. Accompanying him everywhere, indulging in any mischief with him, and over time, forming a very strong crush on him.

He knows it’s taboo to be a knight hopelessly in love with a prince. But god Oscar is just so gorgeous. Especially when his crown is slightly crooked on his head and his wavy hair frames his face.

Logan should have known it would happen. The day that Oscar would have to attend the formal dance to decide on who would be his husband and partner on the throne. Of course his eagle eyed gaze didn’t miss how the Australian’s attention was taken by a boy with curly chocolate brown hair.

The other prince was British, as was his knight. Logan recognized him as Max Fewtrell. He sparred with him a few times.

They gave the two royals time to discuss within themselves, Logan glancing with an empty gaze. He knew Max picked up his feelings, but what he didn’t expect was the reciprocated expression in the Brits eyes.

Go figure.

They were both in love with their own Princes. The men they swore to protect.

They court for a decent amount of time. Gossip spreads across the kingdom of the union, which means Max and Logan were on high alert.

But they just weren’t alert enough.

It all happened so quickly.

Oscar had been pulled away from the garden for a moment by his father. Logan was ordered to stay with Lando as extra precaution outside. He nodded in understanding.

Within five minutes of them being alone outside with the British Prince, there was a noise. A snap.

In a flash a man masked in black clothing rushed at Lando, sword drawn to administer a killing slice to the royal.

Of course, he never got the chance.

With lightning speed, Max administered a offensive maneuver, leaving the assassin with a mortal wound.

But not in time for him to prevent a killing strike of his own.

Logan stood in front of Lando in a protective stance, biting his lip as his face pinched in pain. The Brit was cowered behind the American, stifling a cry as he realized what happened when he saw a drop of blood splatter onto the ground.

It didn’t take long for Logan to collapse onto the earth soil, coughing in pain as red painted the green in a grotesque painting.

The knight smiled tightly, lifting a hand carefully to place on Lando’s. He grinned weakly as he saw the two Brits above him staring in shock with tears in their eyes.

“Take care of him.” Logan mumbled hoarsely, closing his eyes as he faded in and out of consciousness, only half aware of the feeling of his hand being squeezed in acknowledgement.

And while the American wasn’t aware of the Australian’s presence in his final moments, he died in his arms, a contented expression on his face.

3) Omegaverse

If there was one thing Logan hated about being from Florida, it was the people.

Specifically the old wrinkly bastards who came down this way and bringing their outdated traditional views and opinions with them, spewing them to the youth as if they were trying to douse a house fire.

It was a popular held belief by the Republican Party that Omega’s were meant to serve, that was their duty to their country and how they earned their keep. By pleasing their Alphas.

Logan’s dad believed most of it. Not as harshly as others mind you, but still to the extent he tried pushing it onto the young minds of his pups.

Neither boy cared for it. They lived on the rush of doing things on their own, and Logan hated the idea of someone taking care of his every need and whim and submitting to him. He liked doing things himself.

That being said, second genders were a bit of a taboo conversation in the Bible Belt.

If you had presented, you were expected to cover your scent when in public. The only exceptions were Deltas and Gammas, as the younger pups had yet to have anything problematic and the elders were highly respected.

Logan’s dad had always said it was to prevent any animalistic instincts from causing sinful acts, but he thinks that’s just an excuse for people being unable to control themselves.

He didn’t really realize how wild the American South’s opinion on dynamics were until he moved to Europe.

Everyone was so much more open about their secondary genders. It was almost overwhelming at first, the young American so unfamiliar with so many scents hitting his nose at once.

But eventually, he came to like it. He liked everyone being open and true to themselves. And it didn’t matter what you were there, you were treated as an equal. It was amazing.

He probably should have guessed that his upbringing caused his inner wolf to repress itself, but he really didn’t see this coming.

He had been with the Jacob’s family for around a year now. He was so extremely grateful for their hospitality and kindness.

They even showed him how to tune into his wolf side more! Which… is what lead to now.

It was pretty fucking embarrassing, especially since secondary gender health classes were completely overlooked in schools in the south.

He had woken up one day and unbelievable sweaty and clingy. He had dragged himself over to Benny and fell into his arms, whimpering as he nuzzled into his neck comfortingly.

He didn’t know what was wrong. Just that he needed the company of his pack.

Benny knew exactly what was wrong with the pup as soon as he caught the wiff of the citrusy ocean scent. He chuffed to inform his wife of the development, letting her motherly omegan instincts take over as she fussed over the pup before he was thrown into the world of being an omega.

His heat had gone buy somewhat smoothly. He wasn’t craving anything sexual due to his repressed nature, but more so desiring smaller omega comforts, such as making a nest and allowing himself the opportunity to make noises like chirps and purrs.

He knew it would be a long road ahead of him telling his family in America of his presentation. But Oscar had told him that they had absolutely not right to judge him for that when they weren’t even here to see him through it.

At that reassurance, Logan smiled and nodded. Yeah things would suck sometimes, but he was fucking proud to be an omega.

4) Coming Out

He knew knew should have been more fucking careful.

His dad had connections. People didn’t keep their lips sealed.

So when Logan had snuck out to participate in the Ft Lauderdale pride parade, he should have been prepared for his dad standing at the back door where he was trying to sneak in, arms cross and a frown deep on his face.

He should have been prepared, but he was so drunk on the high of being himself. Of being around people just like him. Of spending the whole afternoon with his best friend Kyle, messing around and talking about their dream guys (and girls for the older American)

The sun was just setting outside. His dad had been at work all day and should have just been getting home within the last hour, so hopefully Logan could disguise it as him just wanting to go for a jog on the beach.

Obviously, Luck was not on his side as he gulped, staring at his dads body towering over him, his gaze venomous.

“Care to tell me why a coworker of mine saw you prancing around with all those sissies in the street today?” He asked harshly, his words biting into Logan’s gut like a furious snake.

The younger boy bit his lip as he trembled nervously, stuttering as he tried to think of some sort of excuse but unable to find one.

His brain didn’t have time to catch up when his dad had suddenly grabbed his wrist, dragging him into his room and shutting the door behind him. Logan coward in fear as he shuffled away to his bed, feeling like a scared dog with his tail between his legs.

His dad stared him down before he walked over to the younger boys bookshelf, grabbing a copy of the Bible and throwing it down in front of him.

“You are going to read that entire book, and then when we go to Church on Sunday, you’re going to confess your disgusting sins to the priest so he can rid you of these unholy thoughts. Do you understand me? Nothing else until then. No games, no fishing, nothing. Just you and that Bible. Got it?” He hissed sternly, earning a panicked nod from Logan as he curled into himself, pulling the leather encased book closer to himself.

He waited until his dad left without another word, slamming the door shut behind him.

He tried to swallow the broken feeling inside of his test as hot tears of shame flowed down his cheeks, turning the brown cover of the Bible a slightly darker shade.

The American took some time to gather his wits before swallowing his pain, cracking open the book and beginning to skim his eyes over the words on the thin pages.

5) RSD

Logan was having an off day.

He knew it from the moment he woke up that it would be a shit one emotionally, but he didn’t think it would be this bad.

It started when he had collected his tray of breakfast, wandering around the common area to find a place to sit.

He had spotted Alex’s tall figure from where he sat at his typical table, and was about to go join him on his own spot, but before he could get there, he froze, swallowing as he stared at the Williams employee he hadn’t learned the name of yet sitting in his spot.

It was just a seat. He could find somewhere else. But he couldn’t felt the pang in his chest as he stared hopelessly.

Why didn’t any of the others tell him that’s where Logan sat? Why didn’t Alex say anything?

He shook his nerves out of his brain as he decides to just take his food back to his drivers room and eat alone, ignoring the feeling of emptiness and betrayal in his heart.

The second instance was another small incident.

He had made his way over to the McLaren Garage, being welcomed by the team as Oscar chirpily bounded over to him.

“Hey Logie! What’re you doin here?” He asked excitedly, causing the American to smile and pull out his phone.

“I found this really funny video and I wanted to see your reaction to it,” he explains, pulling up the video and pressing play.

The Australian was paying attention to the screen with the upmost focus, before he felt himself suddenly being pulled away by his teammate.

“Cmon Oscar! Zak needs to show us some team stuff. Sorry Logan! You know how it is!” The Brit shouts, causing the Aussie to flash an apologetic expression toward his best friend.

Logan continued standing there with his phone in his hand, the video playing on repeat, but it’s humor gone.

He locked his screen before nodding stiffly and walking off, trying to hold back the crushing feeling of rejection and embarrassment for being so upset over a stupid video.

When he walked back into the garage, he saw the look of concern Benny was shooting his way, very in tune with the Americans way of thinking and obvious to the negative trip to the McLaren garage.

Logan shrugged in response to his worry, focusing his attention on the screens of data in front of him as he tried to push his feelings down.

He had never been this unlucky with his interactions in one day.

The last part of the day is when it became too much.

As they were just approaching the end of the season, and his fate was still unsure on if he would stay in Formula 1 or not, when he was alone in his room, his brain often took him to unwelcome places.

He had tried his best. He had put everything he had into this. He had worked his entire fucking life just for this moment. It couldn’t be over in just a year. It couldn’t be.

But it was his fault. Williams just didn’t want him and that’s his fault. He brought nothing to the team but high bills and a lot of hate comments.

Why would they give him a chance.

Of course they’d trade him in for someone who was much more capable at this level.

This was how the thoughts continued into the night, at least until he had curled up in bed with his AirPods in playing his comfort playlist, trying to drown out the noise of his head as tears streamed down his face, wetting the fabric of the pillow cover.

6) Overstimulation

Don’t get him wrong.

The life of a formula 1 driver was great.

It came with a lot of positives, like great pay, tight knit workplace relationships, and traveling the world!

But it was also so loud.

You’d think a kid who grew up racing would be used to the roaring if the engines by now, but some days the loud screeching sound tore at his brain and made him want to curl up under a blanket and not come out. It made him dizzy and overwhelmed. It was too loud it made his ears ring.

He appreciated a good quiet moment. That’s one reason why he loved fishing so much. It was clam and quiet and just the right amount of excitement for that quiet that it didn’t overwhelm him.

But sometimes the scream of the F1 engines and the bright lights of the circuit shining on the track, it all just became a bit to much.

This was one of those times.

It was just free practice, and it wasn’t his turn to hop in the car yet, Alex taking that position.

They were at Singapore, where the lights were blindly bright and the sounds echoed across the pit lane.

Logan could feel the full headache pounding in his head as he turned away from the video screen to find Benny.

After locating his trainer, he tugged on his shirt slightly, letting him know he needed to step away.

The Australian nodded softly, patting the young American’s back as Logan wandered into a quiet and secluded room of the garage, throwing on his AirPods as he played his favorite song, No Man No Cry, letting the sound of the saxophone buzz in his head and give his brain only one thing to focus on.

His hands shook as he curled onto a corner of the floor, hugging himself tightly as he desperately wished for some sort of weight. Hell he’d even settle for a tire blanket at this point, to help ground him.

But alas, he was on his own. And he needed to pull himself together fast before his team needed him and he would be unable to drive the damn car.

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