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notabled-noodle · 2 years

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reblog if you wouldn’t be weirded out if someone took you back to their place and they had a giant Bluey poster on their wall. trying to prove something to a friend

#noodle rambles #reblog bait #tw reblog bait #bluey #my mate said that nobody would have sex with me if I kept the Bluey poster up but actually I think he’s wrong

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sakitenmaenjoyer · 5 months

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wxs and arm wrestling part one: nene

tsukasa vs nene- hydrogen bomb vs coughing baby. tsukasa will express surprise at her strength while she struggles to get his arm to budge 💀 the worst part is that he's genuine, he didn't expect to put effort in LMAO. he boasts 'even with more training, ofc u cant beat me 😏', then proceeds to prolong the match by keeping his arm still. she gets so miffed and tries even harder LMAO. she doesn't win though bc tsukasa gets tired and ends it faster than she can process. he brags at the end despite doing nothing

emu vs nene - hydrogen bomb vs coughing baby part 2. emu cheerily confirms that nene did get stronger, and there's only a brief struggle before she pins nene's arm down. she's very encouraging that she hopes nene gets big and buff!!!

rui vs nene- hydrogen bomb vs coughing baby part 3. nene feels like she's pushing against steel. she gets to look as he leans his annoyingly smug face on his other hand, barely breaking out a sweat. he's a mix of emu's genuine encouraging words and tsukasa's irritating lack of response. he wins after she goes 'just end it 😒'

nene's like 'idk what you guys expected....' and sits off to the side. she finds that she enjoys watching the other three arm wrestle rather than doing it herself

#nene kusanagi #tsukasa tenma #emu otori #rui kamishiro #wonderlands x showtime #wxs #txt #if my nene characterization is wrong ill end it all #but to me. nene fondly watches her troupe mates nearly break each others arms LOL #also tsukasa/rui fucking with her is canon in my heart. theyre so mean to her </3 #they don't even try to let her win LOL #also had the idea that tsukasa baited her into arm wrestling with him by saying ohhh so you know ill beat you then 😏#and nene was too stubborn to say 'obviously' bc of his stupid smug face (if this seems mean spirited dw. they both know its a bit)#also also. tsukasa gets all up in his feelings over nene actually getting stronger/not being as shy to try out new stuff. thank you.#like he doesnt tell her that but hes happy to have fun with her #long post #project sekai #forgot that tag oops

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faeriehighfemme · 3 months

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pspsps… hereee soft dom butches… pspsps…

#come put my big ass in a mating press PLEASE #wlw nsft #sapphic nsft #lesbian nsft #nsft #lesbian #butch bait #femme4butch #winged whispers

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cavehags · 1 year

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i feel like i'm experiencing the most advanced level baiting in human history

#how many times in life do you get to go and see a bait couple do a live sex show #mates. lads. whatever #mae martin #brett goldstein

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saturstay-oldblog · 2 years

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byler stans on twitter are way too nice. god knows netflixgeeked wouldn’t have survived a single night on tumblr

#byler #I’m scrolling through the netflixgeeked tweets from last night and I’m screaming (angrily)#all those byler teeets sound so sarcastic and baiting mates #I’m eating them alive after vol2

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mushroom-for-art · 8 months

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I don't know what came over me but uh, don't mess with Axels family and probably don't read this tbh it's nasty

Grunts moved quickly packing up boxes and supplies with clumsy inefficiency as a superior admin barked orders for them to hurry up and get everything taken down and shipped 10 minutes ago. They needed to get out of there quickly if they were hoping to survive.

"Stop fucking about! Get those boxes moved now, go go go! We haven't the time for you to be a pansy!" the Admin snarled at a stumbling grunt who had just dropped a small stack of boxes they'd been moving, they skittered past the doors of the main entrance, their neck snapping at the speed and velocity of the doors blasting inwards and becoming lodged into walls saving them from what was going to occur.

Time slowed as the Mewtwo floated into the room gliding in eerie silence as his tail swayed.

"Where, is my family. " His voice was more of a growl in his throat as he spoke and projected the words outwards, the snarl echoed painfully inside of the skulls of those present causing many to double over in sheer agony at the psychic voice probing their minds and tearing into their thoughts.

Limbs locked the Admin couldn't grab any of the Pokeballs secured to her belt and she felt psychic energy burning into her as the mewtwo zeroed in on her, she sneered at him past the pain inside her skull.

"I won't be intimidated by you. You won't find them if you kill me."

Her body was lifted slightly from the floor and floated up to his eye level slowly as he loomed in front of her his expression dark and unreadable, his eyes bore through her laced with unspoken threats and an awareness of control and power.

"If that is the knowledge you want to put your faith into." he lifted arms to the side casually his hand doing a flourish, "just know," his fingers moved closing into a fist before his arm flicked forward as though throwing something, bones slammed into a wall breaking on impact as the sound of tearing flesh and muscle registered to the admins ears, a grunts body stood for a second completely torn open from the inside outwards before their boneless husk slumped with a sickening slap of blood, brains smeared slowly down the walls from where the skull has smashed open on impact.

"You won't be granted the same quickness or relief."

Eyes staring on in horror the mewtwo produced a sharp quill from his inner wrist pulling it out from his flesh, he held it in his fingers twirling it before pointing it to another nearby grunt who let out a soft hiss as the quill cut a small line in their cheek. They started to hyperventilate before the toxins even took hold, the blood seeping from the cut became putrid and contaminated turning into yellow pus as the surrounding skin turned to shades of blue and purple and ultimately darkening to a deathly black.

The psychic restrains let up on the grunt who stumbled quickly, they tried to speak spraying spit as their tongue swelled causing them to hack and cough struggling for breath as it started to block off their airway, they were in hysterics crying and choking, dying flesh wetly slid from their muscles and bones sloshing on the floor beneath them filling the room with the horrid stench of death. Their gurgled quiet screaming and choking as their tongue rotted out from their mouth had fear soaking into the Admins very core as the grunt fell down onto their side. For a moment she thought dead but their wheezing told her they hadn't received that mercy yet.

The mewtwo had not broken their gaze from watching her even as his tail swayed behind him, she watched the fur shifting intertwining around itself morphing into a pointed shape like a syringe, there was an audible hissing of steam as see through organic pipes grew out and back into the mewtwos tail flesh. With a flash that nearly burned her irises, red hot flowing liquid pumped through the structures, almost like Kyurems biological tubes as they changed their form the way they pumped energy. Tail stabbed forward past her shoulder into the last grunt behind her, and he hollered in agony immediately.

She couldn't turn her head to see, but she could feel it was hot suddenly as there was another hiss with the mewtwos tail returning to its original state, screaming never ending behind her and the smell of burning flesh and flooring. She could barely swallow as she stared forward a horrid red hue illuminating the mewtwo from behind her as he looked at her but his expression was still dark.

"They were sent to another facility! In Unova! We only wanted the Haunter! The Gengar was just in the way!" She barely recognised her own voice for the terror in it.

"I know."

She found her breathing difficult as she stared at him.

"I was one of the most powerful pure creatures to ever bless this planet, and I am now a bastardized chimera of that purity that violated the boundaries of limits set by Arceus." His expression was almost a deranged grin.

"Do you really believe your thoughts are your own and private? That I couldn't rip out that information, why do you think your head hurts so much." His teeth gleamed in the unnaturally hot red fading light behind her.

"Why are, why are you still here then?! Wasting time! That family of yours must not be so precious-" Her voice choked as her lungs were squeezed in a way that forced all the breath from her, her vision blackening at the edges as her compressed lungs fought to gain any air, if this was how she went then she'd accept that. Unfortunately the air forces back into her lungs brought her back from the cusps of unconsciousness.

"You don't get to die that easily, don't presume about the importance of my family when I know what you did to my daughter and mate. I've seen through your eyes what you did to her. How you tormented my love in the process." His spoken words were venomous as he stared down at her in pure hatred, she was faintly aware of the weakening wheeze on the floor near her.

His hands came up casually and she felt like her aura was being pulled out of her body like her soul was being separated before witnessing the projected double helix swirling around before her.

"They say mew are the ancestor of everything, classes as the genetics pokemon, so very fitting" his finger idly touched over a strand of dna and she felt her skin begin to crawl from uncomfortable to painfully as it seperated from her muscles as though the connective tissues were dissolving, before he flicked his finger over the strand again and her skin stopped trying to peel from her body though it still hung just a bit looser than it did before.

"When me and my brother were younger, not in full control of our powers we used to play this game with other pokemon." another idle adjustment, the backs of her eyeballs burnt as her eyes weeped her ears ringing loudly painfully in a way that blossomed pain across her whole temple in a brain splitting migraine.

"We'd fly past and," his fingers moved adjusting changing her dna structure, she hitched a quiet scream as her muscles spasmed in her arm breaking her forearm bones as her fingers twitched against her control, the bones in her fingers began to deform subtly but quickly deforming her fingers and cracking through the skin, "of course we were only little and we could only change phenotype expressions making fur scales and that different colors, or grow faster, straighten curl." he let out a sigh.

"In hindsight, what cruel little bastards we were, mini gods tampering with things that they really had no right to for our own amusement, of course we meant no harm and didn't intend harm but I do sometimes wonder." Her vision went black as the genetics in control of her sight were altered, blood vessels popped and blood mixed with her tears streaming down her face. She could feel her organs moving, growing shifting inside her as well as he altered her biology casually in a way that shattered her concept of pain, leaving her with only searing burning nerves.

"I was pretty blind to the cruelty of mews when I was one, maybe I wouldn't have ended up like this were my brother kinder, but I see now how rotten we can be but we still had our naivety at least that kept our innocence, the disconnect from mortals that we couldn't properly sympathize to or understand." Her spine popped bones growing out from her skin but she could still feel everything as more muscles broke in spasms.

"I don't have the excuse of innocence or naivety anymore, I can see with mortal eyes everything I do and the effect it has, and how wonderfully ironic that in place of that innocent evil the rot of humanity has replaced it, giving rise to the ability and enjoyment of hurting others and how to make it worse. I am the worst of humans and the worst of mew." He looked at her almost gently with a smile that mocked her as her bloody eyes met his, blood dribbled from her cracked lips.

His eyes roamed her for a second as he fiddled with the very core of her person altering her genetics irreversibly.

"Did you know that there's a lot of uncategorized pokemon that exist purely inside others?" his finger hovered over her stomach "it's fascinating actually the organisms that have specialized in your gut, and they're so intertwined with you that no one realized they're there. Why don't we let you be the first to say hello?" psychic energy glowed from his hand and she felt the breath leave her again as she almost wretched.

Something inside her began to writhe, she could feel hundreds, maybe thousands of squirming legs pushing on her stomach and small intestines and a sickly burning pain that would've had her double over did the psychic energy not keep her restrained. He lowered her body slowly and her legs flopped uselessly like a ragdoll as he slumped her down on her legs unnaturally. She couldn't move still.

A piece of glass levitated to him and he put it in her hand, "here, since you did tell me eventually I'll give you this mercy to end this suffering." he closed her hand around the glass shard as her arm remained held out for his psychic ability. He turned leaving her there, the grunt finally still but bloated and missing chunks of flesh that lay gruesomely on the floor.

His psychic restraint released and the admin raised her hand quickly to thrust the shard into her throat. Her fingers went numb and the shard slipped smashing by her feet as her arm slumped body collapsing to the side, she could breathe but only barely and she could move her eyes but nothing else.

"Guess you didn't act fast enough." the mewtwo had stopped at the busted doorway just to look back and mock her, "ah well, ever heard of parasitic Beedrill? I'm sure you'll make a very comfortable flesh womb meal combo, you'll get to enjoy feeling them grow inside you while unable to speak or tell anyone. Maybe they'll die inside you and the sepsis will take you out or maybe they'll adapt to keep you alive even after you should die, after all your insides will have been their comfortable little home for so long they won't want to part with it. You'll be their hive their playground protection from the real world in your chest cavity nuzzling into your ribs. Congratulations Admin. This could be the rest of your life." his smirk was simple as he flew away with force that caused the trees to bend and sway.

The admin lay there stomach twisting in knots, eyes in a panic darting around at the sight of the corpses around her as the horrors crept into her mind of what would happen, her thoughts spiraling into gibberish as the hours passed decaying her only ability to even try to communicate as her eyes flicked around in circles, death burning into her vision and the stench crawling over and seeping into her skin and senses permanently.

#My writing #tw murder #tw death #tw blood #Tw genetic mutilation #Tw biological manipulation #Tw body horror #Tw rotting #Tw parasites #Tw torture #Tw mention of brains #Tw suicide baiting #Just uh this is dark folks. Probably a way future event canon wise. Some people took Axels daughter and mate. Lots of people die.#Axel has all the casual cruelty and genetic manipulation abilities of a mew for both himself and others #While also having received humanities cruelty disregard and even want to push the boundaries to hurt hurt hurt #You gave a gene manipulating god the ability to know his past actions were fucked and the frontal lobe to be even worse and vengeful #Well done.#Axel really went yea I already knew that I just wanted to torture people #He probably sent a big mental image to every pokemon in Unova and that area to find his mate and child so hes not like doing this while his #Family is at risk somewhere. Honestly he probably begrudgingly contacted one of his mewtwo offspring to help so like sensible revenge?#And yes it is implied he straight up just injected someone with lava how the FUCK did u do that

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grtmnick · 10 months

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“What is she doing here?!” Bellowed Regina, who’d regressed into her full Evil Queen regalia in both attire and demeanor.

“I lied to you Regina...” the determined Savior confessed. Emma had no choice but to draw forth her lover’s ire for the plan to succeed.

“Tell me something I don’t know,” the Evil Queen growled through gritted teeth.

“Not only did I want to break your heart, I needed you to see me and Elsa together, see the happiness you could never have!”

#swanqueen #emma x regina #emma swan #regina mills #jealous regina mills #the evil queen #true love #soul mates #wlw #femslash #queer baiting #elsa #once upon a time #once upon a time fanfic #once upon a time fan fic #once upon a time scene alter #disney #twitter

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raspberryreverie · 3 months

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thinking about my strategy in middle school fleeceball (think dodgeball but full gym, no teams, and a million yarn pompom balls instead of dodgeballs) where I just walked around the gym in circles and let the dudebros duke it out against each other

#i won like two games with this strategy.#just had to have the dexterity to catch a couple of the final attacks #when i got out my friends and i would judge the guys in fake categories #best slide #best hair flip #best mating dance #(which was when they did weird little moves and sounds to bait the others)#anyway that is the only time i think about gym class fondly #personal

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gemwolfz · 5 months

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before you continue please picture the water filter we put on screenshots we're clowning on im on desktop so i cant actually do it. 🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊 alright ready here we go

Man what is your fucking problem

#bet this guy fucking hates fountain #note that they didnt even comment this they made it a reply on a completely unrelated comment #surely this is bait. surely you cant be Like This #i just noticed the 'buddy if this were a backrooms pissing contest you'd be drowning' mate what the fuck does that mean.

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flynnyfan · 7 months

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Photos from Thomas Flynn's IG story yesterday + his shout-out for Laurie Kynaston's new comedy play "Mates in Chelsea" at the Royal Court Theatre. Info on the play: https://www.instagram.com/p/CxvBOXQoa8m/?img_index=5

#thomas flynn #thomas flynn pictures #actor pictures #ig stories #thomas flynn ig stories #flynnyfans #laurie kynaston #mates in chelsea #royal court theatre #shark bait #malachi latchman

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miserycanary · 28 days

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DEFINITELY NUTS ᡣ𐭩 ⤷ next

pairing: Simon 'Ghost' Riley & model!fem!reader

synopsis: Ghost mentions you but 141 doesn't believe that he got a wife

tags: crack (well, attempted), fluff

Ghost’s strict rules for privacy are something the 141 has known for years now. He’s not the type of person to blab about his personal life and often chooses just to keep quiet. So, imagine their surprise when he suddenly says that he’s going to take a day off because his wife asked him to watch a play.

“Price, ‘am not gonna be here tomorrow. Got a date with my missus.”

All eyes are on him, everyone stills. “WIFE? Since when?!” Soap exclaimed, finally breaking the silence. His eyes were almost bulging out his eyes. “Never told you about her?” Ghost hums, unamused by the Scottish’s exclaim. “Johnny here does have a reasonable reaction. You never tell us anything ‘bout you, mate,” Price joined, chuckling and pulling out a cigar. The man just contemplates before brushing it off and bidding farewell, leaving the group confused.

“Ain’t no way he’s telling us the truth. That man ain’t got no bone in his body to bag someone,” Soap voiced out, looking for anyone to support his disbelief. “I mean..” Gaz whistles out, crossing his arms over his chest and tilting his head as if he’s agreeing to some extent. That’s when, unbeknownst to Ghost, he got the reputation of being delusional and a liar.

Soap, still doubtful days later, watches the lieutenant with a vision like a hawk. “Hey, lieutenant.” Ghost snaps his head up, looking at him. “How was the date with your wife?” Immediately, everyone else stopped what they were doing, silently listening. It was obvious he was baiting Ghost, emphasizing the wife as if putting on quotes. They weren’t as nosy as Soap but each one of them still held a bit of doubtness that the brick wall of the team managed to get a girl, and even marry her.

“It was okay. The missus had fun,” Ghost chuckles, fondly remembering how you were beaming on the way, rambling about the plot of the play. “Can we see pictures?” Soap smirked thinking he finally got the lieutenant but was taken aback when Ghost only shrugged and pulled out his phone before freezing. “Ah, we didn’t take pictures yesterday. Said she wanted to live in the moment.”

Soap whipped his head to signal to Gaz, seemingly saying ‘See? He’s definitely lying! How convenient he has no pictures.”

“How about just a picture of your wife?” Kyle suggested, now invested while Price seemed to be shaking his head in the corner. “I have none with me but..” With a few clicks, Ghost holds up his phone for everyone to see. Like birds, everyone flocked around him, curious to see. For a while, everyone was surprised and sure the man was lying. I mean, he just showed them a picture of a drop-dead gorgeous model from a magazine!

‘He's definitely lost it’ everyone seemed to think, offering pity glances at the man who had this prideful shine in his eyes. Walking up to his superior, Soap patted him on the back. “It’s fine, mate… we understand how difficult it must be.” ‘not having a lady at all’

Thinking Johnny meant about your hectic schedule, he agreed. “It’s quite tough but we make it work,” he chuckled which made everyone wince.

‘Definitely nuts!’

Weeks passed after that and the topic never got brought up, until Ghost came in with a bento in hand covered with a handkerchief with frilly ends. When asked about it, he replied, “Ah, wife’s testing out recipes for an upcoming TV show. ‘S been practicing and asked me to bring one.” Once again, he was given pity glances and even heard a defeated sigh from Soap.

‘He’s too far gone’

“How’s work?” you ask, dazedly paying attention to the movie you guys put, more invested in burying your face in Simon’s chest while he drapes both arms on your waist, completely engulfing your torso under his muscles. “Been getting a few weird stares,” he mumbles, playing with your hair and pressing kisses on your forehead. “Why?” you peer up, resting your chin on his shoulder. “I don’ know, princess.”

Meanwhile…

“Should we just… finally set the lieutenant on a date? I feel bad. I mean, he even lied about his “wife” making him lunch,” Johnny sighed.

“Probably the best idea,” Kyle nodded.

Now Price… he knows the truth. He met you before when you dropped by, asking for Ghost— which ended horribly— but he’ll lying if he said he’s not getting a kick out of this.