#marauders mutual pining | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mediocre-daydreams · 2 years

Text

𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐚𝐜𝐜𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐭

summary: sirius accidentally apparates into your bed instead of his.

w/c: 3.5k

notes: mutual pining, sirius is so jealous of jily, a few swears, suggestive moments, remus likes crosswords, soft! sirius

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

sirius felt pathetic.

“i feel pathetic,” sirius whined, throwing himself on one of the potters’ cushy sofas. he buried his face in a decorative pillow and kicked his feet against the couch cushions.

“quit your little temper tantrum,” lily said, rolling her eyes. “it makes you look more pathetic.”

“which is shocking, because i didn’t think it could even get worse,” remus piped from his seat at the kitchen island, where he was doing yesterday’s daily prophet crossword.

“what’s a six-letter word and starts with an ‘s’ that could be similar to cowardly?” remus tapped his quill against his chin.

“scared?” said sirius.

“sirius?” said lily.

“hey, i’ll have you know that i am in fact a gryffindor, despite what my parents have to say about it!” sirius retorted, throwing his pillow at lily’s head blindly and missing.

“what the-” you were hit in the chest by a flying pillow as you wandered into the sitting room, looking for your friends. you identified sirius as the culprit. “are you serious?”

“why yes, i am!”

you rolled your eyes but with no real malice; instead, discarding the pillow to the side and flung yourself on top of sirius’ back with full force. he oomph’d at the sudden weight.

you wrapped your arms around his shoulders and tucked your knees into his sides to pin him down. he protested meekly.

lily giggled as she watched sirius squirm under you as he pretended to be upset while you clung onto him triumphantly. sirius could’ve easily pushed you off, or even flipped you over, but he wasn’t going to complain about how close you were to him. no, sirius didn’t mind it one bit.

loud, thunderous footsteps could be heard bounding down the stairs as james made his presence known. euphemia trailed behind him, wary but amused.

“james, you can apparate now,” she chided. “why do you insist on causing such a ruckus every time you use the stairs?”

“but muuuuum, last time i crashed into the clock and you were all upset. i’m just being cautious.” james smiled guiltily.

euphemia waved him off. “your friends combined make less noise than you do, james.” she sighed happily as she watched her mosh of children settle soundly into her home. remus was sleepily humming a muggle song, james had taken a seat by lily and was resting his head on her lap, while you and sirius continued to smother each other.

“remus, feel free to head upstairs anytime,” euphemia said sweetly. she looked towards your crowd. “and you all as well. there’s no rush, but it’s getting late and fleamont and i will be heading to bed soon.”

there was a chorus of thank yous as euphemia left, leaving the lot of you alone on the lower level. lily looked at you and quirked her head.

you nodded. “i think lily and i will start washing up as well; goodnight everyone!”

lily kissed james’ forehead. james’ blush was apparent even in the dimness of the evening.

sirius perked up as you slid off from his back with a laugh, hoping for a kiss too. the two of you were normally affectionate anyway, so it didn’t seem so demanding.

when you made no indication of giving sirius a goodnight kiss, he sat up and pouted theatrically. “what about me? can i have a kiss too?” he whined, pointing his chin at james, who looked smug.

you appraised sirius for a minute “hmm, let’s see. have you been a good boy today?” you tapped your chin like you were deep in thought.

sirius’ heart raced.

“i think so, yes,” you decided, stepping closer to the anxious boy. you pressed three fingers to your lips—it was better than nothing, sirius decided—and slapped him (gently!) across the face.

“there’s your kiss!” you grinned mischievously.

james and lily laughed, even earning a snort from remus, who was half-asleep already.

“hey, that wasn’t- you slapped me!” sirius stammered, feeling cheated. “look how nicely lily gave prongs his kiss! you conniving little minx!” sirius crossed his arms.

“ah, well lily and james are dating and we are very much not. you’ve got to be promoted to the boyfriend level to earn that kind of salary.”

lily nodded solemnly. “that’s true. and your resume must be strong, too. job offers can be very competitive these days, y’know? and your girl has a lot of applicants.” lily winked at you.

your girl, sirius thought. he liked that. “well, how can i apply?” sirius joked, looking up at you with raised brows.

you pinched his cheek endearingly. “oh sirius, you flirt. now goodnight, all.” lily took your hand and pulled you up the stairs, hushed whispers trailing behind you and the occasional giggle from lily. sirius sat on the couch, dazed.

“what in merlin’s name happened?” james hissed loudly. “what do you call that, pads?”

remus rubbed his eyes blearily and sat beside james. the two boys stared down sirius from their couch like they were courtroom judges and sirius was being interrogated. in a sense, he was.

“i- i don’t know! she just slapped me and then ignored what i said!” sirius exclaimed.

james shushed him. “you’re going to wake up the entire house!”

remus sighed disappointedly. “are you two daft? she clearly thinks you’re flirting with her-”

“-i am!”

“-as a joke. you flirt with everyone, padfoot. coming from you, flirting is almost like… platonic behavior.”

“that literally makes no sense, you realize that, right?” sirius scoffed.

james hummed and shook his finger as he came to realization. “no, no. moony’s right-”

“-when am i ever not right?”

“-you flirt with all your friends. if you want to make it obvious you like her, you have to treat her differently. for you, that wouldn’t be flirting. it’d be more like…”

remus butted in. “domesticity, i think. little, genuine things that let her know you’ve been thinking of her. nothing too theatric; that’ll make her think you’re doing it jokingly too. you’ve got to be personal with her… vulnerable, even. yes, that’s it. you should be vulnerable. everybody knows loud, annoying padfoot-”

“-i am not annoying!”

“-but if you let her see you without all the exaggeration, she’ll know you really mean what you say.”

james and sirius looked at lupin, impressed. james shook his head like he was clearing his thoughts. “when did you become so wise, moony?”

remus smirked. “wouldn’t you like to know?”

sirius couldn’t sleep. well, he was restless most nights, often plagued with nightmares or a constant stream of thoughts, but tonight he was simultaneously battling james’ snoring and remus’ rolling and shuffling around.

sirius groaned quietly, draping an arm over his eyes. he needed a break. with a quick breath, he apparated himself into the potter’s kitchen and poured himself a cup of juice, sipping quietly as he leaned against the counter.

living at james’ house was like living on the moon. at home, sirius never got to decide when he wanted to sleep. he wasn’t allowed to brush his teeth with his friends and get foam all over the counter, or nibble on a secret stash of sweets at midnight, much less leave his room to raid the fridge.

when sirius finished his juice, he wrapped up his late night escapade with a quick scourgify and a quiet sigh. once again, he apparated upstairs to avoid the creaky staircase.

sirius had made a grave error.

“what the-” you sputtered for the second time that night. “sirius?”

sirius looked down at your sleeping figure. this time, he was the one sitting on top of your body, though he was considerably heavier than you were.

“lumos,” you whispered. “sirius, what the hell are you doing here?” you tried to sound scolding, but your voice came out slurred and bleary as you tried to blink yourself awake.

“i- i don’t know! i tried apparating back to-”

“shhh!” you furrowed your eyebrows, grabbing him by the neckline of his shirt and pulling him into bed beside you. “you’ll wake lily! thank godric she’s a deep sleeper.”

you huffed, pushing yourself upright. while the boys were crammed into james’ room, you and lily were sharing the guest bedroom which housed two larger twin sized beds. there was just enough space for sirius to move off your chest and to your side.

“i’m sorry, i went downstairs for a drink and i must’ve apparated to the wrong place or something-”

“clearly! how on earth did you manage that?”

“i don’t know! i’m tired, alright?” he punctuated his words with a big yawn.

“you know,” you began, a smug look growing on your face. “you have to envision where you want to go when you’re apparating. thinking of me in bed, are you now?”

sirius gulped, burning with nerves at your close proximity. “n-no! i mean, it’s not that i haven’t thought about- shit, i mean- uh, i can go now, if you want.”

you laughed breathily. “you’re good, siri.” you yawned. “maybe… maybe you should stay here for the night. i don’t want you to splinch yourself if you’re tired.”

sirius chewed his lower lip, admiring the side of your face as you fiddled with the edge of your blanket. he was wordless as he tried to steady his breathing.

you turned your head suddenly with wide eyes and met his. “you don’t have to, of course! i don’t want to make you uncomfortable, i just thought-”

“no- oh no, i mean, yes! yes, i’ll stay. i’d love- like to stay. i appreciate it,” he smiled, eyes flickering across your face. you hadn’t realized how close the two of you really were; you could easily kiss him bump heads if you leaned in. of he shuffled a bit closer to you and his thigh brushed yours. “sorry, the bed’s a little small.”

your mouth formed a little O as you scooted over as well, making more room for him. “i hadn’t realized—here, you can have some more space. you’re bigger anyway.”

the two of you awkwardly adjusted as sirius slipped under the covers. he punched the pillow a few times and cozied into a comfortable position. his body faced yours; his breath fanned over your skin.

“hey,” you whispered giddily.

“hi,” he echoed, biting his lip to stop himself from smiling too largely. sirius’ face seemed to melt into something soft—it was a vulnerability you’d never seen from him—as he gazed at you. he almost seemed to marvel at you.

“you’re so beautiful, y’know?” sirius murmured, brushing a few loose hair from your face. when he was finished, he didn’t pull his hand away. instead, he let it cup your cheek gently as he began to rub little semicircles into your skin with his thumbs.

“that means a lot, coming from the prettiest boy i know.” you placed your hand on top of his, hooking his thumb between yours to stop the movement. “my pretty boy, hm?”

your eyelids fluttered. sirius wasn’t sure if you were fully present; you looked half asleep. still, your words made his heart flutter, even though he knew he shouldn’t take them to heart.

“my best girl,” sirius cooed, slipping his hand out from under yours to wrap it around your shoulder instead. he pulled you closer to his chest and you eagerly obliged until the two of you were completely pressed together. you sighed in contentment.

sirius pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead. “g’night, lovely. i- i love you.”

you responded with a soft snore.

click! a bright flash and twinkling laughter made you open your eyes. you squinted at the harsh light—had somebody left the blinds open? you groaned, making a note for tonight.

you buried your head into your pillow, inhaling a deep breath of the potters’ laundry detergent. you knew the family was rich, but were they so rich that their detergent smelled this heavenly? they must’ve put some sort of spell on the bedding. it was rich; a little smokey, with notes of spice that reminded you of christmas cooking. you smiled to yourself, nuzzling closer. the potters were sweet to invest in something that’d make you feel welcome in their house. you’d never felt so at home.

click! another flash. a chuckle, but deeper and decidedly male. you hummed with annoyance at the interruptions.

your pillow was moving. did the potters enchant the pillows as well?

“dove?” sirius’ raspy morning voice mumbled into your ear. the vibrations tickled your skin and sent goosebumps running down your arms.

“sirius?” you exclaimed. the ‘enchanted pillow’ was not a pillow at all, it seemed. it was your best friend longtime crush, whose body you’d been cuddling up to all night. well, shit.

“did y’get a good one?” james’ voice floated through the room.

“oi, shut up, prongs. ‘m trying to sleep,” sirius grumbled. he didn’t seem to care about the intimacy of your position. instead, he only tightened his hold on your waist and even brought his other arm to rest at the name of your neck, which allowed him to settle his chin on the crown of your head. you could hear—and feel—the steady thumping of his heart.

as you awoke, you became more aware (and more horrified) at how you’d fallen asleep. one of your legs was bent over his, and his hands were carded through the hairs at the nape of your neck.

“holy shit,” you muttered, pulling sirius’ hands off of you. “sirius, wake up. i think they’re taking pictures of us.” you looked up at james, lily, and remus. “-those little shits.”

“huh?” sirius jolted awake, his arm never leaving your waist. “what in merlin’s name-”

james snickered. “you two seem to have had a good night, eh?” he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

“shuddup, prongs,” sirius retorted. “get your head out of the gutter.”

“sirius…” lily ribbed, pursing her lips in amusement.

any annoyance on sirius’ face vanished and was quickly replaced by pure terror. “oh fuck,” he grimaced, before throwing the sheets off his body and running awkwardly to the bathroom while adjusting his pants.

your face heated. lily came by your side, practically in stitches, and you squeaked in shock. james went jogging after sirius, yelling suggestive comments unabashedly.

“so, what was that?” remus probed, sitting on the corner of your bed where sirius had just been laying.

“he was wearing clothes, alright? stop- don’t make this weird,” you pleaded.

“we didn’t say anything about states of undress,” lily chided, looking triumphantly at remus, who sighed.

“what’s it to you, anyway?” you pushed yourself out of bed, fussing with your hair momentarily as you tried to tame your bedhead. “‘s none of your business.”

“oh, but it is. james owes me three galleons,” lily announced. “and remus is coughing up eight sickles.”

“you bet on me?”

“well, not on you, perse,” lily backtracked. “on you and sirius’ relationship. so technically, that’s not either of you. it’s a relationship. aaaanyways, remus thought you were going to get together before summer break, i guessed during the second day of staying here, and james guessed at the end of our stay. and i was right! well, i was a couple hours off. but i still win.”

you closed your eyes, unable to process the audacity of your friends. “you lot are cheeky assholes, y’know that?”

“oh, we know. but these ‘cheeky assholes’ have blackmail now,” lily smirked.

“or, photos and a good story for your wedding,” remus piped in. lily nodded her head eagerly.

“i didn’t take you for a romantic, lupin,” you mumbled, beginning to dig through your clothes and change out of your pajamas. “what time is it, anyway?”

“nine-thirty!” lily chirped, placing emphasis on each number. “we let you two sleep in. it was cute.”

“we aren’t cute.”

“aha! so there’s a ‘we’ now!” james cheered from the doorway. sirius had returned in his normal clothes, still looking a little flustered. you averted your eyes.

“‘m gonna change. goodbye, twats.” you shuffled down the hallway. as much as you pretended to be annoyed by your meddling friends’ antics, you smiled uncontrollably as you heard them interrogate sirius next, who did a much worse job of hiding his feelings.

feelings. were there feelings? and james’ question still stood. was there a ‘we?’

“i’m starving,” james whined, clutching his stomach dramatically. “if we keep pushing off breakfast, i’m going to be too weak for quidditch season next year.”

lily rolled her eyes. “you big baby. c’mon remus, let’s leave the toddler here and make something for ourselves.” lily linked her arm through remus’ and made a big show of trotting away, with james scrambling after them desperately.

when you came to the kitchen, your friends were still fighting playfully over lily’s taunts. “i am not a big baby!” james complained.

“you’re literally throwing a fit right now!” lily laughed, shoving him with her shoulder. you laughed alongside her as you watched james stumble.

sirius, though he’d always found james’ embarrassment to be funny, didn’t laugh. he was watching you, smiling hopelessly at the way your laugh seemed to pierce his senses more sharply than the brightness of the sun, noticing the way your body shook a little from the enthusiasm of your happiness, and staring longingly at your parted lips.

remus thwaked sirius in the back of the head with the most updated copy of the daily prophet. “stop staring like a fucking idiot and do something,” he hissed. sirius found himself pushed off his chair as remus slipped in with a pencil in hand, already immersed in his crossword.

“siri, y’alright?” you giggled, noticing sirius’ unusual quietness and the odd, hazy look in his eyes.

“yeah! ‘m all good.” sirius startling slightly. “thanks, dove.”

sirius made his way beside you and again, wrapped his arm around your waist. you shivered. “are you cold?” sirius asked.

“ah- no. you’re just- you make me nervous,” you said hesitantly.

sirius’ words were slow, calculated. “in a good way or bad way?” he looked down at you and raised his eyebrows questioningly. he bent down and lowered his voice. “‘cos i’m really hoping it’s a ‘sirius black, you give me butterflies and i’m madly in love with your charisma, luscious hair, and gorgeous face,’ type’a way.”

“ugh,” you groaned, pushing against his chest playfully as your face burned. sirius only strengthened his hold on you. “you wish, black,” you sniffed, tipping your chin up at him haughtily. but then your teasing smile dropped into something intense and genuine. you opened your mouth to speak, but no words came out.

so, sirius did the speaking for you. cupping your pointed chin in a delicate hand, sirius lowered his head until his lips brushed over yours—just barely. he smilled, his breath warming the planes of your face as he held himself still.

pulling sirius closer down to you by the fabric of his shirt, you dusted your lips across his for a fleeting moment. you pulled away almost immediately, panicking at what you’d just done. sirius shook his head, amused, and pulled you in once more, pressing his lips against yours firmly and holding you there, supported and assured, until you melted comfortably into his mouth.

“siri…” you gasped, pulling away. “oh my merlin, sirius?” you called, chewing your kiss-swollen lip as you watched sirius sway hazily in his spot. he was muttering silent words.

“pads!” james hollered. “way to go, padfoot!” he slammed his hand into the back of sirius’ head.

“ow, what the fuck, mate?” sirius rubbed the spot that james had attacked.

“you dog!” lily shrieked, running around the counter to throw herself at you and wrangle you around excitedly. it seemed that your friends were more passionate about the kiss than you two were.

well, that wasn’t true. the two of you were a bit too dizzy to appreciate the excitement of it all.

from remus’ position at the stove, two eggs came magically whizzing through the air and cracked themselves on top of james and lily’s heads.

“moony! what the hell was that for?” lily sputtered.

“i just did a hair mask last night!” james complained.

remus rolled his eyes, nonchalantly waving his wand over the pan of scrambled eggs he was cooking. “leave the two of ‘em be. i’m sure you’ll have plenty of moments to see them snogging in the future.” remus turned towards the two of you, looking bashful. sirius had given you his hand to hold and you were fiddling with his fingers. he looked very pleased.

remus sighed exasperatedly, before turning back to his eggs. “now you two get out! you’re killing my appetite.”

you and sirius looked at each other, and with bright, childish giggles, you ran out of the kitchen with sirius on your heels. remus huffed grumpily, waving his wand again to scramble the eggs, but unbeknownst to his friends, he cracked a satisfied smile.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

marauders masterlist | main masterlist

taglist:

@im-a-slut-for-fluff @cowboibeepbeep @yourallihave @bambamwolf87

#sirius black imagine #sirius imagine #sirius x reader #sirius black #sirius black x you #sirius x you #sirius black x y/n #sirius x y/n #sirius fluff #sirius black fluff #sirius x you fluff #sirius black x reader #sirius black x reader fluff #sirius black mutual pining #marauders mutual pining #marauders friends to lovers #sirius friends to lovers #sirius mutual pining

5K notes · View notes

imjustherefortheshipping · 4 months

Text

Sirius is so obvious with his feelings, he’s wearing his heart on his sleeve and is constantly glancing at Remus with the most besotted expression

Everyone can see it - except Remus because his brain immediately goes static as soon as he looks at Sirius and all he can think is “pretty pretty pretty”

#and that is what we call unnecessary mutual pining #but they’re cute about it so it’s okay #whenever people witness The Heart Eyes a collective long-suffering sigh is let out #marauders #wolfstar #sirius black #remus lupin #pining

471 notes · View notes

perpetuallydaydreaming · 1 year

Text

will you marry me?

5 times remus has asked you to marry him and 1 extra.

tags: remus lupin x f!reader,, fluff,, angst,, no mention of the word y/n,, childhood friends to lovers,, mutual pining,, character death

first time at 5 years old;

your eldest sister was off to marry in spring and so naturally the whole house was buzzing with excitement and terror. and you, like any impressionable child, felt the tingles of something exciting happening before your very eyes.

lulu, your best ultimate mate as you so graciously dubbed him, felt this energy too.

or at least the many flowers and coloured envelopes scattered on the table, seem to ring some alarms for him.

“this table is too small,” he frowns, stopping his pretend chopping of the leaves, and looking longingly at the dinner table, filled with scattered wedding paraphernalia.

you shrugged, ponytail swishing as you move around him.

“we have to make room, my sister is to be mary.” you confidently repeated what your mum said to you in the morning. when you had whined at the lack of play space.

now you’re humming like it’s obvious, why you were given a child’s table and now have to play kitchen with one pot instead of four because of the lack of space. the confident pretence of a child to show they’re mature enough not to complain.

“why does she have to be mary?” he asks, his shoulder bumping into you, “i thought she likes her name hilda?”

you scoff, clearly lulu does not know of the way of being mary. so naturally, you being older (by a few months) needs to teach him. or else, however is he going to be a proper grown up?

“because she wants to be a wife. so she has to be mary first.”

“a wife?” he asks intrigued, “like mummy and daddy?”

you laugh, patting his head, “only mummies can be a wife, silly. daddies are hus-butts.” you stood straighter, having this conversation with your mum before. “mother says, you have to love first and then be a mary. so you can play with them even after dinner and eat chocolates and make children.”

he seems to perk up even more, looking at you. his eyes as usual, gleaming with obvious awe, “to make children? with what?”

you pout, having no answer.

you haven’t asked your mum this question yet. too busy thinking of how many mary’s there are in your town.

still, you try to think of an answer.

you don’t want to let lulu down, you are after all his only hope for knowing things.

luckily, you’ve overheard this one conversation last week, your sister moving after she becomes mary so they can begin making a family.

you raise your head, hand on your hip and your other pointed as if in a lecture.

you said in your most confident voice. “you enter specific rooms in the house, and always make sure it’s locked. and then you wait until you can come out with children. but you must only do this if you love them. that is the ultimate rule. or else it won’t work.”

“wow,” he breathed, he clenched his fists then, looking utmost determined. before screaming in glee and confidence, the only way a naive child could. “then let’s make children! be mary and then we can play all night!”

you clicked your tongue, disappointed he hadn’t comprehended. “but you should love me first.”

his cheeks heated pink, indignant, “but i do. i love you a whole lot! and i wanna play here all the time.”

you shook your head, grim. “we can’t.” sounding so heartbroken, as much as any five year old could sound.

because you’ve already asked your mum if you could make children with lulu and she said, you’re only suppose to do that if you’re a grown up in love.

you asked, what’s the difference? you were plenty grown. 5 is one hand after all.

and your sister said to you, amusement lacing her words, a grown up to take care of you and cherish you. someone able to help you and grow with you.

you look at lulu. his thin arms and his lack of knowledge.

certainly not a grown up. not a proper man who can be with you, at all.

“i don’t love you, so we can’t.” you say this huffing, now turning completely to your make shift pot and stirring the water and leaves.

lulu cried loud that day, wailing like a little kid.

and nodding to yourself knowing you’ve made the right choice. he is so not a grown up. even if his pinched face made you feel queasy.

your mum rushing over and asking what was wrong. when you told her, she laughed out loud, and hugged you both, brushing remus’ hair out of his tear streaked face.

and you wonder what was so funny when he looked so sad.

second time at 11 years old;

remy was horrified.

you realize this as he stares at you in a crazed panic. and as always, it was up to you to be strong.

“what do you mean by that?” puffing your chest out and stood to cover remy from potter.

“didn’t you know? kissing makes girls pregnant.” he whispered, loudly in the empty halls, scandalized as he went to look at your stomach as if it will inflate this instant.

you fight the urge to cover that area with your robes. willing yourself to be brave for the both of you.

“surely… that isn’t true.”

potter scoffs, offended to have been doubted, “yes it is, i heard a prefect say so.”

you feel remy grab the back of your robes in panic. the reference enough to persuade him. you almost roll your eyes, but instead sighed to calm yourself down.

“i ought to tell you lot to be careful.” potter looked at the both of you meaningfully, and inhaling sharply as a flash of embarrassment burns into your brain.

you weren’t able to will the heat of your cheeks to dissipate, before it showed on your cheeks. your face and neck warmed red. mortified that potter knows the secret kiss shared between you and your friend, currently pulling at your robes.

it was both of your first kiss, deciding to just get it all over with, so you both can know what was so special about it.

it wasn’t much.

it felt soft, and quick.

nothing at all sparkling or romantic, like others said.

“alert your parents immediately, else you might be kicked out. and i’ve grown quite fond of the two of you, you know.” potter nodded at you, looking as if he pitied you both before crossing his arms as he strutted away.

you look at remy fully now. he was standing too close and still holding unto your robes like a lifeline.

“did you really have to tell potter of all people what we did?” you scoff, crossing your arms and tapping your feet like how your mother used to do it when she was cross with something.

he seemed to shrink into himself more, “i’m sorry, he said he saw it, and pestered me into confessing.” he bit his lips to bleed. “i didn’t know you were gonna be in trouble.” he sniffled.

and you immediately cooled, reaching forward and pulling at his chin to stop his assault and softly rubbing at his bleeding lips with your robes with another click of your tongue.

“it’s fine, he already saw, nothing else we can do.”

“so, what are we going to do now?” he asked softly, he looked at you, eyes filling with worry and sadness. “what if you are? we’ll get in trouble, won’t we?”

you bring down your arm now, before breathing out deeply.

you try to think of why it wouldn’t be true, but the tone of his voice was making you worry endlessly too.

even though you know it wasn’t all true, because your sister kissed her husband plenty of times in the house and they don’t have kids.

and you were about to point that out to him. to reassure your ever warm, too soft friend, that james potter was full of it and to relax.

but remy stood straighter, his cold hands gripping yours tightly, so much that it hurts. now standing a bit taller than you. pink lips pulled into a straight line and eyes looking straight at you. soft brown eyes no longer holding any worry, instead with resolute determination.

“marry me,” he said, “i promise to look after our children and work.” he nodded at you, as if urging you to say yes. to trust him.

a look entirely different from what you remembered from way before, yet feeling all the same regardless.

the reason of proposal was ridiculous in of itself that you couldn’t help but laugh.

“i’m not pregnant you dolt, pregnancy doesn’t work that way. i assure you.” rolling your eyes in amusement. “so don’t you go proposing like some weirdo.”

he stopped for a second, as if startled as he kept looking at you. before leaving a shaky sigh, head hanging low.

“okay,” his lips in a wobbly smile, looking weird. “good.”

third time at 17 years old;

sirius had managed to sneak in a case of firewhisky in one winning after-party in the common room.

it was safe to assume that everyone was positively sloshed. if judging from the slurring exclaims from james and a red face peter barely able to stand and sirius laughing maniacally at something marlene has said to him.

and remus being the self-appointed responsible one, had taken it upon himself to maintain sobriety the entire night. to look after the three of them in the aftermath.

resolutely sitting next to you the whole night, engaging in a missed conversation about gossip and literature.

“still feeling confident you can handle these three blokes up in your room?”

he grimaced, already rubbing his temples, probably from regret and the james’ incessant off-key singing. “i don’t really have much of a choice now, do i?”

you laugh easy, “with the way james is attempting to strip, i think not. you did volunteer, taking responsibility and what not.”

he sighed rather audibly, over the soft music of the party that was already dying down. most of the attendees already settling into their respective rooms.

and you look at remus, slumped into the chair, and laugh to yourself.

still so helpless, you think. you guess you had to step up again. pick up the slack a little bit.

you try to trick yourself into thinking you were tired and miffed about it, but you find you quite like feeling needed. especially by remus.

whom of which seems to be way into being responsible now and being a proper grown up. one that follows curfew and plans his day.

he barely looks at you for help anymore.

he always has an answer to questions now.

as the boys depend on him for being the responsible one in their little foursome.

off to late night adventures and pranks. no longer the crying, awe struck, nervous kid you grew up knowing. makes you feel kind of sad.

“alright then,” you exhaled, “i’ll lend you a hand for dealing with the demons.” you stood up whilst downing your drink, a sweet concoction by dorcas.

he looks up at you, eyes looking bloodshot and tired. he softly shook his head, “you don’t have to.”

you frown, clicking your tongue and placing a hand on each of your hips. “i said i’ll do it, so i’m going to. now stand up and let’s go.”

he looked at you just a second longer and sighs looking away, a soft smile etched on lips before looking at you again. looking won over.

standing up, dusting the invisible dirt on his trousers and nodding.

he towers over you now, seemingly out of no where.

you realize this as your neck strain looking up at him. as you gather the rowdy, intoxicated boys back to the dorms.

something sirius was extremely grateful for and the others echoed.

“thanks for— for taking care of me darling,” sirius breathed hot into your face before pecking you on the cheek.

“yes, you’re very welcome,” you hummed amused, tucking his covers into his sides, making sure he couldn’t move out of bed.

sirius giggles, “it feels like being tucked in by a mum,” before looking at you serious, eyes wide and looking more sober than he actually was, as if realizing something.

“you’re the mum in the group!” he exclaimed.

“im the what?”

james overhears this and exclaims his agreements.

“oh you are! you’re the perfect mum size!” james said.

you turn to him, “and what’s that supposed to mean?” you ask hotly.

“you’re very caring and mum-like, and you scold like a mum too, sometimes you even talk like one,” peter mumbled.

you look at remus, giving you an amused look, lips stretching like close to laughing.

“this is going to be the last time i’m helping you lot, if you call me mum one more time.” you threatened lightly.

sirius hums loud like he doesn’t believe you, “it’s not all bad, not like you’re gonna be a single-mum. remus is gonna be the dad after all.” he said like he was so sure.

and james, of ourse, echoed his agreements.

“obviously,” james tutted from his bed, tucked in tight by remus.

“yesh,” peter slurred, “he looks like—remus looks like he knows how to read maps.” he breathes out, like on a verge of sleeping.

james gasps, “he does! remus is a map reading dad, nothing has made more sense than this moment right here. you are meant to hold a map in your hands remus, you’re a daddy compass.”

remus looks perturbed, eyebrows scrunched and lips into a tight frown. he shakes his head then, before closing each of their curtains, not even bothering to justify james’ quip. “night lads,”

“night dad,” sirius teased from his bed, before shuddering excessively, “never thought i’d say that again.”

you snort out a laugh before you could help it. “good night everyone.”

you look at remus, and see him gesture to come outside.

quietly walking out of their room and closing the door behind you.

“come, i’ll walk you out.” grabbing your hand softly and pulling you down the corridor to the stairs. dropping his hold just as quick as if he hadn’t meant to hold it in the first place.

“sorry about the lads, the lack of filter is unfortunately not the effect of alcohol but is just them naturally.”

you chuckle softly, rubbing your tingling palms on the side of your skirt.

as if you didn’t know that already. those three have already been a staple into your everyday life for majority of the year. they, quite frankly, grow on you like some persistent vine on a house.

“it’s fine, it was quite tame compared to the usual rubbish they spew most of the time.”

remus looks at you, barely able to hide the smirk emerging from his lips.

“don’t tell me you liked them calling you mum?” the teasing lilt in his voice impossible to miss.

you lightly push on his shoulders. “don’t be disgusting, being called their mum is weird enough. and you implying i like it just makes it even weirder.”

“well imagine being called daddy compass by one of your mates, it’s gonna be hard looking at james tomorrow morning i’ll tell you that.”

you laugh excessively loud at this, before covering your mouth sheepish as you remember the time.

you look over at him, up and down as if assessing, “but you do look like a dad who knows how to read maps. wears khakis all the time and has a moustache.”

he rolls his eyes at you, as you grin in mirth, “well does that mean you’ll do me the honours of marrying me to avoid the life of a single parent to three demon boys?”

you laugh, shaking your head, “not exactly selling your case to me, are you?”

“won’t you reconsider though?” he moans, like he’s pained but you see the glint in his eyes even in the dark dorm room stairs. “it is after all for the children.”

you know he’s joking, hardly a night of partying counts as anything like a proper proposal.

but your brain can’t help but supply the thought that he looked quite fuller now. arms looking sturdier, and harder. he is acting more responsibly, all the professors trust him.

he was almost like a proper grown up now.

and you remember the echo of the ultimate rule in your childhood.

you shake your head, and an easy smile spread on your lips. stopping at the stairs for your dorms, “over my dead body,”

and he laughs, the sound echoing in the trashed common room, “well alright, good night, beautiful.”

“good night remus.”

fourth time at 19 years old;

you knew james was serious about lily when you lot had graduated from hogwarts. but you didn’t know the extent of the seriousness until he said this after one of the order meetings.

“i’m going to ask lily to marry me.”

james had said this with such conviction, so sure and full of affection. you can’t help but feel awed.

he suddenly seemed mature. not like the doofus you’ve come to know and consider a confidant through these trying times.

but a proper adult, one who does taxes and knows how to set up an appointment for medical check ups and fights in wars.

james suddenly feeling very far away from you.

you feel remus shift, his leg pressing into yours. you look at him to see what he wanted, but saw he was just looking at james, eyes set hard.

you shook yourself out of your stupor. standing up abruptly, not meaning to leave the familiar press of remus’ leg against your thigh.

“that’s—that’s great news james, i would have never guessed you—oh you’re all grown up!” you wrap your arms around his shoulders, and him wrapping his around your middle with a giddy smile.

“thank you, mum.” he laughs, the on going joke still running strong. you squeeze him extra tight and pinching his arm for extra measure. before pulling away. “i never thought you had it in you to propose. i’d have half a mind to propose to lily on your behalf.”

he laughs, a bashful blush resting on his cheeks. “i figured, why wait, you know? tomorrow isn’t promised, and—i think spending every moment together is we all can do. i don’t want to die with regrets. i love her.”

you breathed in deep.

sirius coming forward too and slapping james in the back before giving his own congratulations and then peter and then remus too.

you were happy for them both, truly, having found one another even in these difficult times was awe-inspiring.

and then you start to wretchedly wonder if you could have that too. if only the circumstances were a bit different. would you have been given enough time to find another? enough to love? enough to marry?

you find your gaze sliding to remus, how strained his smile looked and wonder if he’s thinking the same.

he looked back at you, as he always does, and smiles gently. less strained now. like he was resigned.

you try to imagine if the circumstances were a bit different and he would find someone to love. someone to marry.

you feel your navel, coil in a bundle of nerves. a tension in your neck making you almost irate.

he gestured for you to follow him out.

like being compelled and weak, you follow without a question.

the night air was chilly, and feeling some sort of static on your skin, like building an unnerving suspense.

remus just sat and gestured for you to sit beside him.

the seat was cold, and you sat rigid like ice.

it’s been a while since you’ve last sat with remus like this. the order keeping all your hours occupied, mission after mission. surviving by the skin of your teeth.

all the world has gone fucked now, it didn’t feel quite real some time—like some sort of veil has just been pulled over your head making you see things clearer for the horrors awaiting your fates.

and in your mind loud with noise and worry, you almost didn’t hear him.

“why don’t we do it?”

“what?” you turn to him, hoping his face show an inkling, a clue as to what he had said.

he looked at you then, eyes still so warm even with the atrocities he’s faced and eyes still so bright in the night. a twinkling light reflecting in his eyes making him look younger. prettier.

“why don’t we get married?”

you lean back slightly in shock, “what?” you repeated, because you didn’t understand. this came so suddenly, words weirdly familiar but the intent wildly different than from all the others you’ve heard before.

you looked at his eyes. searching, still, for a clue or something that might make sense because what?

he laughs, the warm, soft sounding one you can barely hear. but it was just the two of you outside and it was quiet and you were sitting so close, so you hear it—loud and clear. the sound making you feel warm. “is that so crazy?”

he looked like a boy, happy and hopeful. his leg was pressing into your thighs again. the pressure grounding you.

his hands fidgeting deep within his pockets.

“i think we work well enough.” he added, with a small smile.

you feel something in your heart stutter, “work well enough,” you repeated. “glad to know i reach your standards for a bride, sir lupin.” you almost scoff. masking the bitter simmer of disappointment of his reason. and the coiling nerves still tightly wound in your navel, feeling heavy, making it harder to breathe.

he shrugs, “well you know, a lot of applicants have been killing themselves to be chosen. i reckon you ought to feel honoured.” he grinned over to you, still joking.

you rolled your eyes, “of course,”

“yeah?” he perked up, suddenly sitting straighter, his knees bumping into yours in his haste to look at you properly. “you want to?” he seemed shocked, overtly so, that it makes you laugh. a heat blooming on your face at his apparent willingness to marry you before shaking your head to avoid any confusion.

“no to the proposal but yes, that it is indeed an honour.”

he deflates, “ah,” he said softly, before laughing like he was embarrassed. “i just—i kept thinking what james said, about tomorrow not being promised—and, i, well i thought—“ he clears his throat before continuing. “i thought i might see what the fuss was about,”

you nodded, “‘m afraid marriage isn’t so simple. you have to love one another for a start.” you added somewhat bitterly, looking away.

“so you keep reminding me,” he says, laughing awkwardly.

fifth time at 38 years old;

you feel as if your life was reaching a crescendo.

the night glooming, brooding like the sky knows to colour it of fear and nerves.

it was going to come down to tonight, so it seems. whether we win or we lose. the end or the beginning. all those families we’ve lost and the families we’ve created. all our hopes and dreams sacrificed into this one night.

“you feeling alright?” remus asked to your left.

the glooming sky somehow illuminating his face all the same.

“as alright as anyone can be when facing a dark wizard.” you smirked, shrugging.

he laughs, still sounding so warm and soft.

you feel his fingers brush yours. you had half a mind to remind him to get ready and hold his wand tight.

you notice how keeps forgetting to do that. opting to hold unto you, just like he did before when he was a child from another time.

he only offers a closed lipped smile, looking at you the same way he has always looked at you. his stare the most familiar thing, it might as well be a part of you.

“i love you.” he breathed. and your heart hammered, your world tilting on its axis. shifting the very fabric of your universe.

and he looked relieved like he couldn’t wait to hold unto it any longer. and then he repeated it. more sure. louder. affectionate. looking straight into you. his brilliant, soft, warm eyes so full.

you wonder when did his gaze start to look at you like that?

and then you see;

his eyes looking as it did when he was five, shining with obvious awe.

his eyes when he was eleven, with resolute determination.

eyes when he was seventeen, glinting with mirth in the dark crevices of the dorms.

the look he gave you when he was nineteen, looking so boyishly happy and hopeful.

and now as he’s thirty-eight, looking at you with so much love, and longing, and pain, and joy.

“when this is all over,” he breathe, “will you marry me?”

so much time has passed by now that you had once thought it was too late for you. too late with him. something you always thought but could never have.

he was now undeniably a man. arms littered with scars and unwavering confidence as he looks at you. but his eyes still glimmer and twinkle all the same.

the undeniable rampage in your chest, your eyes searching for an answer or a clue for what he’s thinking.

“i love you,” he repeats, and gazing at you with that familiar eyes of his.

and you laugh because you found your answer. so you’ll give him his.

“yes.”

extra;

the battle was brutal, bodies piled on top of one another. those too young to know what they even fought for. those for their own ideals. and those caught in cross fires.

but it was over. and the good guys won.

but with so many lost, people thought, how could i possibly cheer?

but there was this type of solace when you’re gone. there was no more pain. all those gone can only do one thing, to let go. at least that’s what harry thinks.

staring down at the family he could’ve had.

your limp cold hand holding remus’ equally cold ones.

he wonders if someone intertwined your hands, or if you simply died holding on to each other. never to let go.

he realized it didn’t really matter. you were both gone. forever, but together.

he thinks of the comforting hugs you’ve given him in the short time you’ve spent with him, and the many stories remus told. and in this fierce pain he wonders if you ever saw the shiny, glinting ring in remus’ dresser hidden away ever since he was eighteen.

3K notes · View notes

starchaserdreams · 5 months

Text

My fics on AO3

Alright, so I deleted my AO3 account a few months ago (thinking I was done with this) and orphaned all of my works. Well, now I deeply regret that. But I have collected as many of them as I could find here for anyone who's interested.

Jegulus/Starchaser

Temptation Eyes (Now Complete!) - My Jegulus Regency AU. Completed, being posted one chapter twice a week. James enters the London season hoping to find a wife. What he finds instead is Regulus Black, and he never looks back. But as implied by the era, it won't be easy for them. Background wolfstar, shown as a different approach to a queer relationship in the regency era.

Get Regulus Out - 82k, Rated M, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Working Through Trauma, No War/Riddle AU, background Wolfstar, background Marylily. James tries to convince Regulus to leave Grimmauld Place as Sirius once did, and save himself from his parents.

How to Spot Signs of Jealousy - 4k, fake/pretend relationship, mutual pining, miscommunication. After Regulus gets fed up with people asking him out because of his family name, he and Barty agree to fake date. For some reason, James Potter seems livid...and Regulus can only guess that it's because he's homophobic. That's got to be it, right?

But Where's Regulus - 1k. James on laughing gas after getting his wisdom teeth taken out and talking about how much he likes Regulus

Waking Up Slowly - 2k. James wakes up in bed with Regulus in the Gryffindor dorm, something Sirius might not take kindly to.

I've Read Your Book - 1k. Two one shots based on the same premise: Writer!James didn't even know Regulus knew about his book, let alone had read it, but Regulus comes up to him and says "I've read your book" aka the most exciting words of all time to start a conversation for a writer.

Little Ball of Fire - 1k. Regulus gets into an argument with Snape. Regulus begins threatening him, so James picks Regulus up and carries/drags him out of the room before anyone gets hurt.

Prongsfoot/Bambibelle

What's in a Name - 5k, Soulmates AU, secret crush. In a world where soulmates exist and can identify each other by the feeling they get when they say each other's names, it's pretty easy to identify who your soulmate is. But for Sirius and James who only call each other by their nicknames, it takes a while to finally know.

The Bachelorette - 15k, mutual pining, Bachelorette AU. Sirius and James are both cast as contestants on the Bachelorette. Although their stated goal was to woo Lily and capture her heart, they don’t quite manage it. They fall for each other instead.

A Real Marriage Under Wizarding Law - 6k, mutual pining, fake/pretend relationship, drunken shenanigans. Sirius and James get a quickie drunken marriage in Knockturn Alley. When they wake up in the morning, they decide not to get it annulled so that they can save Sirius from an arranged marriage.

The Only Transfer Students to Ever Come to Hogwarts - 9k, arranged marriage, hijinx, angst with a happy ending. Sirius is upset to learn that not only does he have to transfer to a new school, but his parents have set up an arranged marriage for him. James assures him that's impossible, but Sirius knows his parents don't make empty threats. (Written for Prongsfoot Bingo)

The Smell of Water - 4k, Amortentia, idiots in love. Sirius and James argue about what they're smelling without realizing that there's Amortentia in the room. When Sirius realizes, he becomes a whole mess about it. (Written for Prongsfoot Bingo)

Wolfstar

Wolfstar Microfics Theme: Love - 8k, a collection of 22 microfics themed around love

6x James Found Out, and 1x Harry Did - 10k. Six ways James could have learned about Sirius and Remus' secret relationship, and one way Harry could have learned about it. *This is specifically ATYD fanfiction, and it's set in that universe.

160 notes · View notes

musicalbl00m · 3 months

Text

Imagine #2: Confessing your love to them.

wordcount: 590

Love confession to your friend while he gets ready for a date

not beta-read

“You sure I look alright, sweetheart?” he asks, running his fingers through his hair again. “It’s been so long since I’ve been on a date.” He mumbles.

Instead of replying, you are contemplating your whole existence. You’ve been in love with him for as long as you’ve known him, and for a while you thought the feeling was mutual. But alas, you didn’t have the balls to confess, and he hasn’t done so either. So, here you are, giving the boy you loved with your whole heart advice for his date with another girl.

Being so lost in thought, you didn’t notice his confusion at your silence. He knew you’ve been having a little rough time lately, but you haven’t been yourself for a few days. For a second he contemplates if its because of his date, but he quickly dismisses that thought.

“You know, if you’re not feeling well you don’t have to stay here. Its late and I know that you usually like to go to bed early. I don’t want to keep you up. I’m a big boy, I can handle myself.” He says earnestly.

You sigh softly, before looking up at him. He spots the pained look in your eyes and walks over to where you are sitting on his bed. Carefully, he cups your cheeks and looks at you with a gentle gaze.

“What’s going on in that pretty head of yours, sweetheart? You’ve been awfully quiet.” He asks softly, his thumb caressing your skin.

“I just…” you say hesitantly, looking into his mesmerizing eyes. “Are you sure you want to go on that date? She just… doesn’t seem like your type.”

“I don’t know, I just thought it was time for me to get out there you know. Is the date really what’s bothering you? Do you know her from something? Did she hurt you?” He asks, worried at the thought of someone hurting you.

“No not at all! She seems lovely.” You say hurriedly. “I guess I just always hoped… that I had a chance or something. I know its silly but…” You don’t finish your sentence immediately, trying to see his reaction, only to see him patiently waiting for you to finish. “I always hoped that at the end of the day it would be me you came home to, you know. That I’d be the one you kissed. And for a while I had hope that you felt the same, but I just got too insecure I guess.” You confess, closing your eyes as if to shield yourself from the possible rejection.

He lets out a soft chuckle, before pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. “You know, you have nothing to be insecure about sweetheart.” He says softly. “You are so incredibly kind, and creative. You are smart and helpful. You are beautiful and so incredibly fashionable.” He tells you with a cheeky grin as he tugs on the hello kitty sweatpants you are wearing. “You are everything a guy could want and much more. And I’ll be yours in a heartbeat, sweetheart. I just need you to say the words.” He confesses to you, looking into your eyes with a soft gaze.

“I am so incredibly in love with you. I have been forever and ever. Please let me be yours.” You tell him, almost begging.

“Took you long enough.” He teases, before connecting your lips in a soft kiss.

“I am so utterly in love with you too, sweetheart.” He mumbles, before continuing to press soft kisses to your lips.

88 notes · View notes

mangomonk · 8 months

Text

thinking about emotionally constipated regulus finally giving in to his feelings after overcoming so much yearning! pining! but also guilt of his involvement in the war/knowledge that he likely won't make it out

but that aside, thinking about him giving in to his feelings and trying to find the best way to demonstrate his affection to his crush but he has no healthy template or model of showing love. walburga and orion were not the paragons of romance so when regulus finally doubles down on his feelings he doesn't know what to do. but regulus, like sirius, is the same sort of brave that doesn't sit around and wait

so he begins courting her with the only shows of affections that he's really seen, i.e., literal pureblood courting traditions of lavish gift giving. it's painfully clumsy in the beginning — he doesn't know all of her preferences, but he knows she likes fruits, so he all but buys out any fruit-adjacent sweets at honeydukes. when it comes to giving it to her for the first time, he can't quite decide where to look when he rather unceremoniously plops it into her lap, but soon enough he can't quite keep his eyes off of her to study her reactions to the candies. he starts to think he's made a terrible mistake but then she smiles and it feels like he's been cracked open raw and he feels a little dizzy and from there on he turns into a crow of purchasing things that he thinks might bring that smile back.

across the months, from candies, it turns to fancy quills and ink pots (after she makes an offhanded remark about her quill being patchy), and once he realizes that a witch can really only have a few quills and ink pots, he turns to books, even considering asking remus for recommendations on muggle books (he doesn't though, because he's much too proud, but remus notices that sirius's little brother has been hovering around him recently).

soon it escalates to ridiculously fine clothes (though he'll never admit it, it is entirely intentional that the color of the silk dresses match with his handkerchiefs), and when he finally turns to jewelry, she stops him with a baffled question.

because with every item he's given to her, he's always just shrugged his shoulders jerkily and alternated between looking at the gift, her face, and the nearest window. he's always shortly said something along the lines of, "your old quill didn't even resemble a feather anymore," or "your clothes are drab," because even though he's made progress, regulus black is still too emotionally constipated to tell her he loves her, but he hopes that she knows (she does).

197 notes · View notes

lizard-on-a-window-pane · 1 year

Note

Remus lupin x reader

Maybe they see each other at a party after not seeing each other all summer and they end up either kissing or talking all night or both or more its up to you :)

hi, anon! so sorry this took me forever to write! i really liked the idea and wanted to write a full fic but had not had time. i don’t know why it turned so angsty lol but i hope you like it, and feel free to request something fluffier if you wanted that!

pairing: Remus x reader

summary: You reunite with Remus for the first time since he rejected you months ago, but perhaps there was more to be said.

tags: friends to lovers-ish, fluffy angst

word count: 2.3k

You’d know that head of hair anywhere. Your stomach lurched as you walked further into the room, the party starting to pick up to full force. His back was turned to you so you couldn’t see his lovely face, but his height and his messy brown locks that you just wanted to run your fingers through were impossible to miss. Remus. Your Remus… No, not your Remus, you had to remind yourself. Remus that you were impossibly in love with. Remus that you had spent every morning after a full moon comforting since you’d found out about his furry little problem. Remus that had rejected you almost three months ago just before the summer, the last time you’d seen him. Now, here you were, at a party you didn’t even want to come to in the first place, dragged lovingly by Lily who said you moped at home too often. She was right, of course, but you loved moping at home, and why put such a limit on doing the things you love?

You’d been friends with Remus for years before telling him about your feelings. Those feelings had started almost as soon as you’d met him and just grown from there as you got to know him. You didn’t believe in love at first sight, always thought it a bit superficial, a thing for movies that didn’t want to take the time to develop full characters. But with Remus it had been pretty damn close. But to you, it had been very far from superficial, you loved him upon seeing him because of everything his appearance told you about him.

The way he didn’t seem to put too much effort into his appearance, his hair messy, his clothes casual. You loved his jumpers, the way they looked on him so attractive and the idea of wearing one of them with his smell still clinging to it so enticing. You loved the way he looked as though somehow he was simultaneously completely in his own world, in his own head, but at the same time observant and sensitive to the world around him. This wouldn’t have seemed to you something you could tell just from looking at a person, but looking at Remus, really looking, you felt you could see into his soul. His mesmerizing brown eyes told you so much. When he was reading, as they scrolled across page after page, you wished desperately that you could see inside his mind, certain that the way he imagined any story would be its best possible version. Those same eyes, though, looked upon his friends with such love, such care that you knew his heart was as brilliant as his mind even though he was a solitary person.

You’d gotten on pretty quickly too. Before Remus, crushes had always made you freeze up. You never knew what to say, were afraid of embarrassing yourself. But with Remus, it had been the opposite. You inevitably opened up when you were with him, were the most comfortable, the most yourself.

Well, you had been anyway. That felt as far from true as possible now. Seeing him at the party had you paralyzed in place and desperate to snap out of it in time to run and hide before he saw you.

“You should talk to him. I know how much you miss him, and I’m sure he misses you too. James says so, and how wouldn’t he with how much you too like each other?” you heard from beside you. You turned to Lily and gave her your best “are you absolutely mad?” face.

“Oh, c’mon, y/n. Remus is nice… well, at least nice to you. I’m sure he won’t make it awkward.”

“How could it possibly not be?” you replied. “I can’t do it, Lils. Or, I don’t want to. I don’t know. Either way, I’m so not going over there.” “Well, that’s alright…” You were surprised at how easily Lily was letting it go; it wasn’t like her, but you were happy for the slack. “…because he seems to be coming over here,” she finished, grinning as if this was amusing.

Your head shot in Remus’s direction, and sure enough, he had turned toward you. Your eyes met, and you wouldn’t ‘ve been able to name the feeling that shot through your entire body in that moment. Was it pleasant? Unpleasant? Fear? Love? It was like it was everything at once. Very like Remus to make you feel so much, to make feeling such an intense experience, even after all this time… it was infuriating.

When he looked at you, his usually stoic eyes softened, and he opened his mouth as if to say something to you even though he was still quite too far, especially with how loud the surroundings were. You both stood still in place, staring at each other from across the rather large room. He took the first step. But as he did so, you turned away quickly and shoved past crowds of people in your desperate shot for the door.

You made it outside, and the fresh, cold night air was a pleasant punch. It recalibrated the world, centered you, brought you back to your body, away from the pulsing music and your own pulsing heartbeat in your ears. You breathed it in like the sweetest medicine.

Your cheeks felt like they were on fire out here in the cold. You knew you must be blushing madly from the combination of embarrassment but especially sadness and anger at your almost-encounter with Remus. Bringing your cold fingers to your warm cheek, you felt a tear there you had not been conscious of shedding. You wiped it away quickly and took a long, stabilizing breath. You were finally calming down when you heard it.

“Hey…” His unmistakable, dulcet voice just behind you.

You closed your eyes tight but said nothing and didn’t move.

He waited a few beats without saying anything more, but his presence behind you was heavy with anticipation and there was absolutely no doubt in your mind that he was still there.

“Can we talk?” he asked, more of a whisper this time, closer. You took another deep breath then turned to face him.

He was so beautiful. The scars across his face and peaking out of the collar of his jumper were particularly salient in this moonlight; his skin was still pale despite most others’ summer tans. His fingers were playing with his too-long sleeves; he was chewing his bottom lip, waiting for you to answer him. You gave a slight nod.

His tense shoulders seemed to relax a bit at that, and he took another step closer to you.

“How are you?” he asked.

“Fine,” you responded, a bit too quickly.

He paused, probably hoping you’d say something more, but when you didn’t he just gave a bit of a nod as he tried on.

“How was your summer?” “Good.”

A beat. “Look, y/n…I know we left things in a kind of weird place last time we saw each other, but —“ Your scoff cut him off.

Now you waited for him to continue, but when he didn’t, you said, “that’s a nice way to phrase being rejected after admitting feelings that terrified you and losing your closest friend in the process.”

He looked dumbstruck at your directness. His lips tightened into a harsh line and he exhaled sharply out of his nose before whispering, “It doesn’t have to be that way.” “No?” you asked, a bit more harshly than you intended. “Which part?”

“We can still be friends,” he said kindly.

You couldn’t help but scoff again.

“You can’t be serious?” you asked with a disbelieving laugh.

He opened his mouth to respond but closed it on words that never came. He looked away from you for the first time, up toward the sky, chewing his lip again, burying his hands in his pockets. He cleared his throat loudly, and you couldn’t tell if he was trying to keep from crying or trying desperately to come up with something to say, but there was no missing how upset he was. You felt a pang of regret at this realization. You were upset too, heartbroken, but you still cared so deeply for him and couldn’t stomach the idea of causing him pain.

“Remus…” you whispered. His eyes shot directly back to yours at the sound of his name, and his expression shifted immediately to something between sadness and longing.

“I…” he let out but again couldn’t continue. You stepped closer to him this time.

“Remus… Listen… I… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be so harsh. I just… I can’t. Be friends with you, I mean. Not like you want me to be. It would hurt too much loving you, knowing you don’t love me too.” You were crying softly now, and you looked down as you finished, unable to maintain his piercing gaze.

“That’s what you think?” He sounded appalled, almost offended. “What?” you looked back at him.

“You think I don’t love you?”

“Well, you basically said as much.” “I didn’t.”

“You did.” “No, I didn’t. I’ve never lied to you, y/n. Never.” He was firm, his calmness confusing you even more.

“I don’t understand… You rejected me. You didn’t return my feelings.” “That’s what you think happened?” His tone was utterly disbelieving, almost angry now.

“Isn’t it?”

“No.” “Then what happened, Remus?”

“I —“ He moaned in frustration. “You what? What, Remus? For fuck’s sake, please clarify things because I am seriously starting to lose it.”

“I can’t be with you.” It hurt just as much as it had all those weeks ago. It knocked the breath right out of you. You’d thought you’d processed, started to heal even if not yet move on, but this was just as raw as if you hadn’t just spent an entire summer trying to deal with it. You nodded slowly, angrily, looking away from him.

“I never thought you were cruel, Remus. What? Rejecting me once wasn’t enough?”

“Well you should have!” he yelled at you, shocking you, jolting you upright. His hand went to his face, rubbing aggressively then scratching into his hair in frustration. “You should have.” he said much more softly this time. “You should have realized I’m capable of cruelty, y/n. It’s in my blood. It’s what I am.”

“Remus…” equal parts scolding and loving, finally understanding. “Remus, you’re not.” “I am. And I always will be. How can I be with you being what I am? How can you want to be with me?” His last question was complete desperation, a barely audible whisper. You closed the space between you and brought your hand to his face. You caressed his cheek then rested your forehead against his. You worried he might resist your affections, but to your surprise, he didn’t. He melted into your touch, exhaling all of his tension as he nuzzled into your palm, brushed your nose with his, his eyes closed.

“Fuck,” you felt more than heard him say.

“Yeah,” you whispered back. He gave a bit of a chuckle. “Remus.”

“Hm?”

“Remus, look at me.” He opened his eyes, his face so close to yours. As you looked into each other’s eyes, he brought his hand up to your face, his cold fingers now caressing your warm cheek.

“You love me?” you asked him. “Desperately,” he responded immediately. “How could I not, lovely girl…”

“Do you think I’m stupid, Rem?” “What?” He was so taken aback his shifted slightly, only slightly, back from your face. “Of course not, y/n. You’re the cleverest person I know. Why would you ask me that?” “You trust me?” “Yes.” “Okay, then if you trust me and you trust my clever judgement, can you please believe me when I tell you you’re worth loving? Please, Remus. You’re breaking my heart not letting me love you. I know you don’t mean to, but you’re hurting me — hurting both of us — by acting out of fear.” He closed his eyes again and exhaled slowly. “I don’t want to hurt you. You deserve better.” “I don’t want better; I want you. And you’re hurting me now, Remus.” He took a second, looked back and forth between your eyes, scanned your face. “You’re sure?” “Entirely.”

With that, he kissed you immediately, fiercely, bringing his other hand to cup your face. You kissed him, running your other hand through his hair, pushing your body against his. Your tongues tangled; your moans harmonized. There was nothing else but him, his body, his mouth, in that moment; the rest of the word faded away as you breathed him in, tasted him for the first time, touched him as if for the first time.

After what felt like a blissful eternity, you broke apart but kept your faces a breadth away from each other. You couldn’t help but giggle, and he chuckled in response, still caressing your cheek and bringing his other arm around your waste, holding you close. Your arms met behind his neck, and you bumped your noses lovingly.

“So,” he stated. “You wanna go back to the party?” he asked, his tone implying he already knew your answer. “No, I don’t think so,” you laughed. “Good. Me neither.” “Good.”

“I really do want to hear about your summer, you know. And now we have all night to catch up — not to mention tomorrow… and the day after that, and the one after that…” His smile was joy and anticipation, but you could read his relief there too, could see how much he had wanted this like you had. “But…”

You cocked your eyebrow at him.

“But, I think I want to do this a little longer first.” His smile became his kiss, and you were sure you’d never get enough.

#marauders era #marauders fanfic #marauder x reader #remus lupin #remus lupin fanfic #remus lupin oneshot #remus lupin imagine #remus x reader #remus x y/n #remus x you #remus lupin x reader #remus lupin x y/n #remus lupin x you #fluff #angst #friends to lovers #mutual pining #lily evans

536 notes · View notes

wordsofwilderness · 1 month

Text

Hear me out but, handholding AND knotting at the same time 🥰

#And to noones surprise #today's brainrot was brought to you by:#jegulus #I have this idea for an jeggy a/b/o fic with all the sickfic vibes #and so so much mutual pining #untitled jeggy a/b/o with a sickfic vibe #james potter #regulus black #marauders #a/b/o #omegaverse

39 notes · View notes

starstruckwillows · 1 year

Text

r.l

requested by @it-be-me-ella <3

shy!reader, fluff, mutual pining, blurb

remus’ fingers grazed your own ever so lightly, but it sent you shivering all the same, despite the warmth emitting from the lamp set on the table before you.

“are you cold? it’s getting pretty late, and the library isn’t usually very warm... we could call it a night.” he gestured to the herbology project, and you sincerely hoped the disappointed tone at the end of his sentence wasn’t something you were imagining.

you shook your head and refused to meet his honey coloured eyes, “no, i’m okay, we can carry on.”

the next time he bumped your quill with the side of his elbow, he noted the goosebumps spreading along your forearm. wordlessly, and with the slightest of flush dusting his cheeks, he unzipped his jacket and settled it around your shoulders.

“th... erm, thank you.”

he smiled, turning back to the diagram he was labelling meticulously. you sighed lowly, heart racing. at least the heat in your face would prevent you from freezing to death.

#starstruckwillows #fluff #marauders fluff #marauders #remus lupin x reader #remus lupin #shy!reader #mutual pining #remus lupin blurb #remus lupin x shy!reader

278 notes · View notes

drowninkystar · 2 months

Text

Breathless (drowninkystar on ao3) A bit of self-promo :)

Check out my fic if you like Wolfstar and university marauders AU!

#wolfstar #chronically ill remus lupin #remus lupin #sirius black #marauders fanfiction #remus x sirius #mutual pining #texting au #modern marauders

32 notes · View notes

uncertainwallflower · 1 year

Text

THE VIRTUE OF SHARING A @jilymicrofics. Prompt: comfort. Words: 878.

James had always fancied the armchairs beside the fire in the Gryffindor common room as the superior chair of choice. Cushy and red and comfortable and perfectly worn from years and years of use. They provided personal space, where the loveseat required sharing, a virtue his mother highly regarded. But one day, in the first term of seventh-year, while working on a gruelling essay due at the end of the week, something occurred that permanently and entirely changed his perspective.

The armchairs had been taken, snagged by two fifth-years. James could’ve made a fuss, pulled rank, or bodily removed one of them, but he was drained from a long Quidditch practice, and honestly, there was nothing wrong with the loveseat. Especially when sitting on it was a Lily Evans, deep in her Transfiguration textbook, forehead ever so wrinkled with concentration. Lily Evans, red-headed, sharp-tongued, strictly friends. James plonked down beside her, and she looked up with a quick and cutting smile.

“Hey, you.” She was already returning to her textbook.

“Hullo,” James replied. He watched her for a moment before shuffling through his handful of parchment to find the desired sheet.

“How was practice?” Her voice was slightly muffled by the pages.

“Eh—cold, long.”

Rain battered heavy on the windows dotted about the common room.

“Bloody ruthless Captain.” Lily shook her head. Though her tone was dead-serious, James could see a small smile that she tried to hide behind her textbook.

James grinned. “Right twit he is.”

“Oh, absolutely. Massive twit.”

“Mhm.”

Lily looked at him now, eyes sparkling. Her finger twitched, and she glanced down at the essay draft in his hands, then back to his face. She sat forward, posing her next words carefully, “Could you help me with something? I’ll make it worth your while.”

James—thank Merlin—managed to stop himself from choking. “Oh, will you now?”

Lily nodded. “Absolutely.”

“How can I be of service?”

The facade fell, and she flopped back into the loveseat, sighing dejectedly. “I simply cannot understand a single word in this blasted textbook. It makes zero sense. Can you explain it to me?” She held the open textbook out to him, its pages flapping helplessly in the space between them.

James took the book from her and skimmed through a paragraph. He looked up. “And what will I get in return?”

She was already snatching the essay off his lap, “I’ll edit this for you. Merlin knows it’s probably unintelligible, and we want you to graduate, don’t we?”

James barked a laugh, piercing her with incredulous eyes. “You, Evans, are a swot, and a mean one at that.”

“You love that about me.”

James swallowed a sudden lump in his throat. “Not if you keep this act up.”

It was her turn to laugh. “I’m sorry. I truly do need your help. You’re so much better at Transfiguration than me.”

“Flattery will get you nowhere.”

“It’s bound to get me somewhere.”

They were grinning at each other.

After a moment, James sighed dramatically. “Oh, alright, Evans. I’ll help.”

“I knew you would.” She was still grinning, scooting down the loveseat to sit directly beside him, her skirt-clad thigh pressing against his trousered.

Another lump in his throat to swallow. “Right, well. What exactly is it that you don’t understand?”

Lily set about pointing out phrases and words, brandishing a page of notes filled with anxious scribblings.

James wasn’t sure exactly why it happened. One moment they were sitting—admittedly very close together—going over a chapter on a complex branch of Human Transfiguration. The next moment Lily’s head was resting lightly on his shoulder. It was a small change. Nothing to blink at. But by Merlin, James was blinking. That pesky lump was back, and James couldn’t help but think that this didn’t feel like strictly friends behaviour. His breath caught, his body froze. James was quite sure Lily could hear the blood pumping through his veins, the cogs whirring in his brain.

And then, slowly, he manoeuvred his arm around her. His heart had definitely stopped. His lungs too. He was quite sure he was dead. Then Lily sighed, a small sound, barely distinguishable, but all the same. She sighed, and she folded her stockinged feet up and under herself. James was definitely dead. Dead and gone to some better place where a version of Lily Evans snuggled into his side.

Mind exploding, throat thickening, lump refusing to be swallowed.

“James?”

She had said something. She had definitely said something. She pulled away slightly, and James loosened his arm, prepared to have his whole world ripped away from him. She remained, dropping a tentative hand on his chest and tilting her face up to peer up at his.

“Crinus Muto?”

“Oh—yeah, right…”

The armchairs had been abandoned. He looked over at them out of habit, but between the forgotten draft essay, the open textbook in his lap and the red-headed, sharp-tongued, strictly friends, Lily Evans, whose head was resting on his chest, breath tickling his neck, fingers absently playing with a loose thread of his jumper, he found he could not care less about the cushy, red, comfortable, perfectly worn chairs of choice. He much preferred the loveseat. And, after all, sharing was a virtue.

AO3

#jily #microfic #prompted writing #mutual pining #uncertainwallflower #jily fanfiction #jilymicrofics #james potter #lily evans #hp #harry potter #hogwarts #seventh year #uncertainwallflower microfic #marauders era #marauder era fanfic #marauders #jily microfic

195 notes · View notes

mediocre-daydreams · 2 years

Text

𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐫. 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐚 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐢𝐭 𝐛𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐝

remus lupin x animagus!reader

𝚜𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚜 𝚖𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝: 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚊𝚢, 𝚒 𝚏𝚘𝚕𝚕𝚘𝚠

summary: you and the marauders become animagi for the first time and you manage to (not-so-subtly) crush on remus even while he’s a werewolf.

w/c: 5k

･ﾟ⋆☾*･ﾟ.・。.*゜✭・･ﾟ✫・⋆。.

life was a willow and it bent right to your wind head on the pillow, i could feel you sneaking in

you hadn’t spoken to remus since last week. it wasn’t like the months before, where you’d slowly but unintentionally distanced yourself from him in favor of the animagus potions; no, this time, it was he who took to avoiding you. the day after your argument, he caved into sparing you a few brief glances. but since then, he’d successfully managed to shut you out in every class, at every meal, and disappear from the library and common room.

it was torture.

“what’s the incantation again?” sirius mumbled to himself as he flipped through the pages of the book that had begun to eat away at you each time you saw it. the guilt had nothing to do with the fact that you’d stolen an official ministry document from the restricted section or that you were using it to do something very dangerous and illegal, but because it reminded you that you’d sacrified your relationship with remus by choosing to become an animagus.

sure, you were becoming an animagus for him. but it still took all your self restraint not to spit out the damn mandrake leaf every time you saw the devastation and betrayal crack through his straight-faced exterior. in the past three years you’d known remus, you’d never once fought like this. you didn’t fight, period. there were squabbles over the best muggle literature and who got the last copy of a library book and whether tea or coffee was the most complimentary for a reading session, but none of those lasted more than a few hours or a day at most.

so yes, you’d rather have a girl’s night with bellatrix lestrange than this—whatever it was.

“ah! amato animo… a tomato? atonement… animagus- huh?” james squinted at the instructional pages; the parchment was limp from the sustained humidity of the dungeons and the ink had slightly bled, so you couldn’t blame james.

oh, you could, actually. “merlin, james. gimme those-” you grabbed his glasses from his face and wiped the grime and condensation off with the sleeve of your robe. “there, better?”

james’ eyes buggled in astonishment. “loads! woah, i feel like i’ve gotten a whole new prescription!”

you grimaced. “y’might as well have… do you not clean your glasses, james?”

james shook his head and his curls bounced along. “no, why would i?”

you looked back at the parchment.

peter elbowed james harshly. “listen up, mate. it’s amato animo animato animagus, ‘right?” peter rubbed his forehead with the back of his hand. “not any of that… tomato rubbish.”

“i figure we ‘ought to head up; i think the ceiling’s already beginning to leak.” sirius shuffled his belongings together and tucked them under his arm. “up and at ‘em, lads! and… lass.”

you waved him off. “nah, i figure i count as one of the lads now. i’ve seen all of you half naked, ‘cept for james, who was full naked. we’re forever now.”

your group ascended the stairs, footsteps and voices echoing off the stone walls. peter laughed heartily. “i think you’re right. you ‘oughtta be a full marauder, at this point.”

james nodded. “yeah, and you even know about moony’s furry little secret! plus, we’re breaking so many laws right now and become ani-”

sirius slapped the back of james’ head as you slammed your hand over james’ mouth. james cried out, the sound muffled by your palm.

“what was that for?” james sputtered, genuinely in pain.

“you are the worst at keeping secrets, james potter. remind me to never make you my secret keeper,” you groaned.

“hey, i’m not that bad!” peter snorted. “i’d rather have sirius as my secret keeper than james.”

you all looked at the boy thoughtfully. james nodded and shook his finger at peter. “let’s be honest, the only person we should trust with secret-keeping is peter. or moony, but he’s not here at the moment.”

“shush, we’re here!” sirius pointed his head at a large window facing the hogwarts grounds. from there, you could see the lightning storm tearing violently at the branches of the whomping willow.

“well, you all know what t’do.” james sat on the ground matter-of-factly and pressed the tip of his wand over his heart. “amato animo animato animagus… hello? get to it!”

you all followed suit, though peter was chewing his lip nervously. “is this gonna work? i mean, we only had one sunset between finishing the potion and the electricity storm so we never did a sunrise incantation… will that be enough? plus, we started the spell during the storm, so will that-”

“shut it, would’ya?” sirius grumbled. “we’ve got- holy shit!” sirius gasped. “i- i feel the second heartbeat!”

your eyes widened. “godric, we’re really doing this, aren’t we?”

james nodded numbly. “we’re in deep shit.”

“ready?” you asked, clutching the crystal phial that had once held your mandrake leaf and the moth chrysalis. it was now a thin blood red potion, enough for one mouthful.

“y-yeah,” sirius whispered, knuckles white as he gripped the fabric of his robes.

“i still think it’s a bad idea to do this in our dorm,” peter fretted, always the cautious one. “what if someone walks in?”

“that’s why we’ve locked the door, duh.”

“-or what if one of our animagus forms is a-an elephant, and we break everything?”

“that’s a problem for later-”

“or what if it doesn’t work and we get stuck in a horrible half-transformation forever?”

james grinned. “well, that’d certainly suck, wouldn’t it?” he uncorked his bottle and held it up in the air. “cheers, lads!” with one gulp, he’d swallowed the potion with confidence. nothing happened.

you and sirius looked at each other, eyebrows raised. taking a deep breath, you followed suit, downing the potion all at once. similarly, there was no change.

“oh! we have to do the incantation again…” you flipped through the book, skimming for any missed instructions. you grimaced. “ah, the book reads: you must show no fear. it is too late now, to escape the change you have willed.”

“on that cheery note,” james announced, pointing his wand to his chest once more, “amato animo animato animagus!”

at once, james let out a strained groan. “fuck, that’s killer!” he clutched his side.

you figured it was best to finish this quickly. “amato animo animato animagus,” you mumbled, bracing yourself for the incoming pain.

you now understood why so few people decided to become animagi. the gruelling preparation process aside, this was the worst pain you’d ever felt (and that you’d ever feel, you thought).

“does anyone else feel like they’re being barbequed alive or is that just me?” peter gasped.

“barbequed? you’re too white to have any barbeque seasoning… ah!”

“this is no time for joking!”

“it’s always time for-” james was abruptly cut off.

“what in godric’s name-” sirius sobbed through his pain, marveling at the stag that had taken james’ place.

of course james was the first to transform. he was always a bit of an overacheiver.

“ohh, i’m really feeling that double heartbeat now,” you panted, curled into the fetal position. james looked like he wanted to move over to you, but he knew better. peter was right—what if someone’s animagus was an elephant? james didn’t want to be in the way for that transformation.

“oh my go-”

when had the world become so small? everything had changed color… this was it. you were in so much pain that you were beginning to hallucinate; the next stage would be unconsciousness.

no, that wasn’t right. your nose twitched. why was your nose twitching? you couldn’t control it. god, the dorm smelled horrible. looking at your feet—well, they were no longer feet—you were confronted with the truth: your animagus was a rabbit.

a damn rabbit? you thought. why couldn’t i be something cool, like a bear? or a gryffindor lion? well, i suppose that wouldn’t be very inconspicuous… the marauders are going to tease me relentlessly for this…

you hopped—hopped!—towards your new and alarmingly large friends. sirius was a large black dog with long, coarse hair. he licked you eagerly, covering you in drool, and you wished that you were something larger so that you could bit him in retaliation. you felt humiliated as you leaned onto your haunches and cleaned your face in the way rabbits did—yes, the marauders weren’t ever going to let you live this down.

james the stag waved his head up and down like he was laughing. oh, how you wished you were a human so you could slap him. you’d have to settle for some angry foot stomping.

and peter… poor peter was a rat. a cruel part of you was delighted in peter’s unfortunate animagus form. it would take the ruthless commentary off of you.

but just like that, your fun was cut short. the doorknob was rattling aggressively, the noise only enhanced by your new senses. it seemed that sirius’ senses had also improved, as he seemed to panic as he sniffed the air. he growled lowly, slinking backwards until he was beside a bed and out of view from the doorway.

your ears swivelled and you caught a quiet voice. “alohamora.” it was then that you discovered a benefit to your animagus form: skittishness. your reflexes seemed to take over as you scurried ungracefully beneath the same bed that sirius was taking refuge behind. you couldn’t see much.

there was a bark. sirius’ bark. and then a loud clanging. and then a slam, followed by hesitantly approaching footsteps and a string of expletives.

it was remus.

“what. the. fuck.”

we can explain! you wanted to say, but another thing you discovered was that you couldn’t speak—not just in terms of human words, but you couldn’t bark like sirius or squeak like peter. so you thumped.

“did- did sirius put you in here? james? peter?” remus appeared to be going insane. “what was that? that noise?” he bent down to inspect the thump from beneath the bed and caught sight of a bunny rabbit, its bright eyes glowing back at him. his breath hitched in his throat.

“whaaaa- oh shit. there’s four of you. oh shiiiit.” remus pulled his head from under the bed and you wriggled towards him, following curiously. remus stepped backwards, appalled, pulling at his unruly hair which he’d stopped taking care of at the same time he’d stopped talking to you.

he rubbed his eyes. “no,” he whispered. “no, no, no.” remus turned around, left the room, and slammed the door behind him. you looked at peter, who was even smaller than you were, who squeaked a few times in response. james and sirius had yet to make much nose, which was smart—they didn’t want to draw attention from any other gryffindors.

the door flew open and remus entered once more, pointing a shaky, accusatory finger at the four of you. “i swear to merlin, i’ll kill you if you’re what i think you are. who i think you are,” he hissed.

your nose twitched aggressively as you shut your eyes, trying your best to transform back so you could defend yourself. you fell to your stomach, banging your cheek on the floor, as you returned to your human form. you thanked whoever created the rules of magic for allowing animagus transformers to keep their clothing.

“rem, please don’t-” you huffed, picking yourself up and rubbing your head. remus scrambled towards you, crouching down and pulling you into his arms wordlessly. caught off guard, you let yourself fall into his embrace, finding yourself surrounded by the scent that you’d missed for months. you buried your nose deeper into the crook of his neck. perhaps you were imagining it, but it seemed that you could smell more clearly even in human form.

remus stood, dragging you with him, and you stood in his arms limply, exhausted from the effort and extraneousness of the transformation. you wrapped your arms around his body, as he did yours, and closed your eyes. it was easy to pretend that three teenage boys were not currently in this room as illegally tranformed animagi while you were in the arms of your best friend, a werewolf, who you were madly in love with.

(the last part was a lie. you were very much aware that you were standing in remus’ arms.)

when james, sirius, and peter all became human once more, remus put his hands on your shoulders and walked you backwards so you could join the other marauders in their guilty little huddle.

“what have you done?” remus whispered, horrified.

you raised your hands in the air and shook them. “ta-da!”

it was very silent. to be fair, there wasn’t any precedent for “things to say after you went behind your best friend’s back and committed an extremely dangerous and illegal act in order to help him through a monthly werewolf transformation which is also dangerous and also most likely breaks many, many regulations.”

then sirius said. “in our defense-”

he only spurred on a panicked frenzy from remus. “merlin, how long- how did you- this is dangerous! and illegal! and- why would you- damn it, does this have something to do with me being a w- with my condition?” he hissed furiously.

“no! well… yes,” peter admitted bashfully.

“i’m sorry! we were trying to help. we thought that being around animals could distract the werewolf from hurting itself, and we’d be safe since we’re not human,” james hurriedly explained. “and we were careful and hey, it all turned out okay, right? no weird human-animal horror hybrids!”

remus paced, gnawing anxiously on one of his knuckles.

“rem, we didn’t mean to-”

“and you told her!” he snarled, pushing you aside and going straight for james. there was no logical sense to it—james wasn’t the only one who told you about the plan. “you fucking told her! i asked for one thing-”

“technically it was like, three things-”

“and you- damn it!” remus gasped for breath, dragging his hands down his face.

“‘tell her?’ tell who, me?” you interjected. “the fuck were you thinking; keeping secrets from me? i’m the one who bloody found this out in the first place! why are you talking about me behind my back?” you scoffed. “what, do you think i’m not man enough to handle whatever it was that you talked about?”

remus grabbed your shoulders once more, shaking you slightly. “i don’t want you involved in this! i don’t want you here!” he looked distressed. “that’s not what- no, i don’t want you to put yourself in danger because i knew my idiot friends were going to try something! i care about you too much to- merlin, you shouldn’t have.” then he ripped his hands from you like he’d burned himself.

“you don’t care about us?” sirius pouted, trying to lighten the mood.

“how did you even pull this off?” remus sat on his bed, defeated. “i mean, when did you even have time for this? how’d you even know how to?”

you pursed your lips to hide your smug smile. “i raided the restricted section,”

“you mean we-”

“and the potions closet, and got access to the dungeons…”

peter chimed in excitedly. “and i stole- got the phials, and the moth chrysali—don’t even ask—by the way, and sirius… held the map, and james… was our team leader. isn’t that right, james?”

james nodded.

remus buried his face in his pillow, trying to remain quiet as tears stubbornly forced themselves out of his eyes. he hated his friends. he hated their recklessness and stupidity and outrageousness. but most of all, he hated that he loved them.

“we only did it for you, moony.” james looked over at remus sadly, trying to gague his state.

remus hiccuped. “i’m a monster. i just- i don’t understand why you’d-”

you rushed to remus’ side, perching yourself on the edge of his mattress and laying a hand on his head, stroking his hair. “i’d- we’d do anything. anything for our moony.”

you were back by that window, the one where you and the marauders and uttered the animagus incantation. there was no storm this time, and the branches of the whomping willow almost seemed relaxed as they drooped loosely, allowing themselves to sway with the wind. there was an odd semblance of peace.

you jumped slightly as remus placed a hand on your shoulder. caught up in your thoughts, you hadn’t heard him arrive.

“sorry,” he muttered. he looked out the window with you.

hit by a stroke of bravery, you brought your hand up to cover his, coaxing it off your shoulder. you let his hand fall to his side, where you tangled his fingers in yours. it was nice, albeit a little uncomfortable. his hands were much larger than your and your fingers didn’t quite fit together.

“the full moon’s tonight.” you sighed heavily. “shouldn’t you be resting?”

“i’m alright. i’m used to it.”

“you shouldn’t be. you shouldn’t have to get used to- all of this. i wish you didn’t have to- to suffer.”

remus smiled sadly, turning to look at you. “i wish that too.”

you looked down at the ground. “me and the boys are going to come with you tonight,” you stated. there was no room for questioning.

“what?”

you lowered you voice. “after pomfrey brings you down to the shack, we’re going to sneak out and meet you there. we’ll be in our animagus form before you transform. that way, you don’t have to be alone.”

“have you lost it?” remus laughed incredulously. his hand broke free from your so he could cup your cheeks softly. “no, you’re not.”

“we’re not, or i’m not?” you murmured. “i know you think differently of me. but i don’t want you to. i’m not- not weak, or naive, or helpless, remus. i’m just as good as the other marauders.”

“no, i don’t think that of you. quite frankly, i think you’re stronger and cleverer and better than all of them combined. i just don’t want- i couldn’t handle it if you got hurt. especially if it was because of me. i-”

“moony, you would never hurt me. i know you wouldn’t; there’s no hesitance in my heart. and i’m a rabbit,”

“yes, you’re a rabbit, do you not see how-”

“i’m a rabbit, which means i’m fast. i can get away if i really need to—which i won’t, because you’re not going to hurt me.”

“how do you know that? how can you be sure?”

“let’s say i’ve done my research. i did check out that book, remember?”

“don’t come near me with your damn prongs!” sirius laughed, pushing james’ head away as he pretended to butt into sirius’ chest with the crown of his head. the four of you had yet to transform, still reviewing the logistics in the boys’ dorm.

“prongs! i like that.” you declared. “i think we all need code names. moony has one. james can be prongs.”

“hey, that’s not nearly as cool as moony!”

sirius snorted. “peter should be wormtail. the first thing i saw when he was transformed was his tail, and i really thought his animagus was going to be a worm!”

it was peter’s turn to be outraged. “are you serious? that’s so-”

“‘course i’m sirius! i’m always sirius.”

“if we’re going by first impressions, i say sirius should be padfoot. i’m being ser- i’m not kidding, have you seen his paws? they’re like pillows; mine are perfectly normal, thank you,” you sniffed.

“alright, and what’ll you be?”

james gestured at you from head to toe. “hopper.” he declared.

“i’ll take it! y’know what, i’ll take it.”

“‘right then, folks! we better get going. have you got the map?” james dug through a heap of junk.

“we finished it?” peter questioned.

“yeah, hopper helped with the dungeons area. we just gotta seal it later.”

“wait a minute, how come you get to be hopper and i’m wormtail?”

sirius held up the parchment triumphantly. “found it! i also found dog treats. who got dog treats?”

“that would be me,” you snickered, finding yourself very funny. “the house elves helped.”

you’d only figured out the travel strategy yesterday, and in hindsight, you should’ve practiced. the invisibility cloak was draped over james’ antlers with peter in between each one, and sirius stood by james’ side while you balanced for dear life on sirius’ back. it was much more difficult for you to cling on than it was for peter. you’d tried being down on the ground, walking alongside sirius and james, but you had gotten too close to being stepped on for your comfort.

peter had wanted to travel as humans and transform outside, which you vehemently opposed. it was safer to become animals in the privacy of a dorm room rather than on open grounds. you thought it was a bit unfair that peter, who had an easier time being on james’ back than you on sirius’, was so adamant about “convenience.”

it was a clear evening. you’d always enjoyed astronomy, but since discovering remus’ condition, looking at the moon had only brought dread upon you. you figured it must be a lot worse for remus.

you’d found that, in animal form, there was some primitive way you could communicate. you found it secretly preferable to normal communication with the marauders. there was no nuance or room for jokes, only barks with general meanings and vague symboling. it was effective, timewise.

“hurry up!” prongs nudged his head forward, almost sending wormtail flying.

“merlin, we’re trying!” padfoot whined. “i’m carrying a bloody rabbit on my back, so would you give it a sec?”

you pawed at sirius’ head. “i’m not that much of a burden! do you know how hard you’re making this for me? i’m on the verge of slipping off at every turn!”

“would you all shut it? i’ve gotta get past the whomping willow,” wormtail squeaked. he scurried to the base of the willow with the nimbleness that only a rat could process and pressed his tiny hand to a special spot on the bark. its defensive branches went limp, and the three of you pushed forward.

you jumped from padfoot’s back, scrambling to land properly. your rabbit body abilities weren’t very natural to you.

“moony!” padfoot barked. there was a flicker of recognition in remus’ eyes, though for the most part, they were clouded in discomfort. the four of you shifted back to your human forms, hoping to comfort remus before his full moon transformation.

“remus?” you whispered, so quietly that it oculd be mistaken for a breath. you crept towards him, who was curled into himself in a corner of the room. “remus, it’s going to be okay. we’re here!” you tried to lift his spirits.

remus shook his head. “i’m scared,” he confessed shakily. “if anything happens to you…”

“we’ll be alright, moony.” peter smiled reassuringly. the wonderful thing about peter was his ability to empathize with everyone. he had a way of calming his friends down during their lowest moments. “and if anything goes wrong, we know to leave immediately,” peter promised.

remus nodded, eyeing the ground warily. “you should probably turn again. it’ll be anytime now.”

within moments, remus was surrounded by four animals once more. you still weren’t used to being so small as a rabbit. you nuzzled against remus’ thigh, rubbing the side of your face against the fabric of his pants affectionately. remus smiled sadly, using two fingers to scratch behind your ears. you cooed.

there was a sudden snapping and remus inhaled sharply. he was beginning to transform. you backed away quickly, as did the other marauders, and watched as remus began the painful process of becoming a werewolf. you didn’t bother looking—it felt voyeuristic; wrong. there was nothing you could do to cover the sound of remus’ bones breaking, his well-worn clothing ripping and tearing, and the cries of pain that already began to sound like howls.

you wished you could cry yourself. unfortunately, the best you could do was stomp your feet and grind your teeth (which you did, violently).

for all that remus described himself to be as a werewolf, you found him startlingly beautiful. before you was a wolf, larger and slightly lankier than normal, that was distinctly remus. he had the same opalescent green eyes, the same mysterious and confident composure, and the same quiet curiosity. this was not a monster or a creature meant to kill. this was remus lupin at his most vulnerable.

padfoot whined lowly. “moony, y’alright?”

moony seemed startled; not threatened, but rather emotional. “i’m alright.”

“hell yeah!” prongs waved his head around excitedly, forcing padfoot to skirt out of the way to avoid his wild antlers. “this is so cool!”

“speak for yourself,” wormtail squeaked. “i’m still motion sick. moony, do y’know how we got here? i rode on prongs’ bloody head, like ratatouille!”

“what’s a ratatouille?” prongs and padfoot were equally puzzled.

you and wormtail shared a look that only non-pureblooded folk could understand. “don’t even worry about it. that movie won’t be released until nearly three decades later, and you’ll all be well and dead by then. let’s just move on.”

“can i come closer, moony?” you tilted your head, one ear sticking up quizzically. moony huffed in affirmation.

“it’s me! can you tell?”

“i can.” moony seemed amused. “you’re just as annoying as a rabbit as you are a human.”

you thumped in displeasure. “you git. i didn’t carry a mandrake leaf in my mouth just for you to insult me.”

prongs grunted. “you are quite funny, hopper. have you seen her binky yet? it’s so embarrassing.”

you thumped a few times more. “yeah? says the one with the death contraption on his head! plus, all you can do is grunt like a caveman. i didn’t realize it was possible for you to get any dumber.”

padfoot barked madly. “merlin, i love this. i’m the only one who can make actual sounds.”

wormtail scratched the floor angrily. “don’t rub it in, padfoot. or i’ll bit you and give you rabies.”

“i don’t think that’s how it works,” prongs corrected.

“it’s nice to see that you’re all just as insufferable as animals,” moony snorted, beginning to pace restlessly around the shack. “it’s too cramped in here. i feel like i’m suffocating.”

“couldn’t be me,” wormtail gloated. “perks of being a rat, i s’pose.”

“oh, shut it wormy. i’ll have padfoot eat you.” you threatened.

padfoot cringed. “absolutely not!”

“what, so you don’t think i’m tasty? i’m offended by that, you know.”

“hey, do you want to be eaten? ‘cause i-”

“can you all shut it?” prongs hooved the wooden flooring with a loud scrape. “you’re stressing moony out.”

prongs was right—moony was beginning to scratch at himself again, only able to entertain himself with your animal antics for so long. you leaped towards him frantically, and moony froze. he brought his face down to yours very slowly, like he was scared to hurt you. you could feel his warm, damp exhales puff through his nose and onto your face. there was fear in moony’s eyes as he examined you, so fragile in comparison to his powerful, muscular build.

“don’t be so egotistical, moony,” you scoffed. you found that reverse psychology type tough love was the only thing that would get through to remus when he thought he didn’t deserve kind words. “you’re not special. hell, i’m loads better than you. watch this.” you spun in circles as you became a blur in front of moony’s eyes.

moony vocalized what sounded like a laugh. “c’mere,” he probed, inviting somebody else closer for the first time. “let me see you.”

“i’m quite pretty, aren’t i?” you bragged. “very cute, if i say so myself.”

“precious,” moony agreed. “you’re my little treasure.”

you wanted to kiss him right then and there. you were his treasure. you discovered another downside to your animagus form: you had no lips to kiss with. you settled for a lick.

“did you just… lick me?” moony teased, lifting the paw you’d licked curiously.

“so what if i did?” you countered, thumping, thumping, thumping as you’d learned was the best way to communicate your annoyance. the boys were annoying you a lot today.

“merlin, we should call you thumper instead.” wormtail chirped.

“hey, i want a kiss!” padfoot ran over, tongue lolling, and covered you in slobber as he repeated his minstrations from the first transformation. he did the same to moony, who pushed him off seconds later.

“i’m disgusting!” you whined, rubbing yourself against moony’s legs. “ew, you’re so gross, pads!”

“hey, where did those names come from anyway?” moony allowed himself to lay on the ground so you’d be able to wipe yourself off on him better.

prongs trotted over, careful not to impale anything. “you got a cool name, so we wanted ones for ourselves. d’you like ‘em?”

moony dipped his head in approval. “very fitting. though i think i prefer love over thumper, though,” he cooed.

you preened. “i love you too, moony.” as if on instinct, you stood on your hind legs and lifted yourself to the underside of moony’s head, where you rubbed your chin on the fur there.

wormtail, padfoot, and prongs gave each other indecipherable looks. wormtail spoke first. “did you- did you just scent him?”

“what does that even mean?” you denied.

“yeah, we’re just affectionate, s’all.” moony added.

“good godric, i’m tired. is anybody else tired?” you whined, stretching your body until you were very flat and long.

moony nudged you with his nose affectionately. “go to sleep, little one. the others will wake you up when it’s time to go.”

so you closed your eyes, curled up against the warmth of moony’s chest, feeling his heart beat steadily against your body—the body you’d sacrificed months of time for in order to be here with him.

･ﾟ⋆☾*･ﾟ.・。.*゜✭・･ﾟ✫・⋆。.

taglist: (if your name has a strike, that means tumblr won't let me tag you)

@im-a-slut-for-fluff @bambamwolf87 @yourallihave @cowboibeepbeep @liszblog @springflwer07 @getawayfrommewerewolf @ilovehotdads69 @soumya-13 @emmaev @urgrandadsashes @girl-ln-green @vilentia @bibli0thecary @khayhuij

(note: i've realized not everyone wants to be tagged in both marvel/marauders content, so if you want to be specifically in ONE or ALL, shoot me an ask and specify! otherwise i'll keep u in the general for now. ty!)

#wherever you stray i follow #remus lupin x y/n #remus lupin x you #remus lupin x reader #remus x reader #remus x reader angst #remus x reader fluff #remus lupin series #remus lupin fluff #remus lupin x y/n fluff #remus lupin angst #remus lupin x reader series #remus lupin x animagus!reader #remus wherever you stray i follow #mauraders series #marauders mutual pining #remus lupin mutual pining

608 notes · View notes