#mans is so sad and pathetic and kind of a loser how can i not love him | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

blasphemecel · 6 days

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Michael Kaiser — Takotsubo Cardiomyopathy

PAIRING: Michael Kaiser/Reader WORD COUNT: 1.3k TYPE: Angst, Post-break up WARNING(S): Don't read if you're sensitive to medical stuff, also tw for KAISER-TYPICAL MELODRAMA

“Are you fucking kidding me? That just sounds made up.”

“Sir,” the doctor, who’s been having to deal with Kaiser acting like the hospital is a debate club for the past fifteen minutes, says. Then he lets out a sigh and pinches the bridge of his nose. In all honesty, he does not want to deal with this. “While there’s an existing argument about the classification of broken heart syndrome, it is a real thing that happens. And you have it as we’ve deduced.”

“I don’t have health problems,” Kaiser says. Of course, those words fly out of his mouth without trouble even when Ness had to call an ambulance on him and everything, since he looked like he was on the brink of death today at practice. “Much less from bullshit reasons like a broken heart.”

“You don’t need to take it literally. That’s just the name. The trigger for the stress varies from case to case.”

Kaiser hopes his defensive statement didn’t reveal anything too personal, and decides to throw off any suspicion by staring down at his lap while frowning like a kid who got caught with his hand in the cookie jar. At least the doctor doesn’t seem to care because he’s not prying for unnecessary details. Not yet, anyway.

“For how long have you been ignoring the symptoms?”

“I haven’t been ignoring anything,” Kaiser says.

Sure, he was dizzy a few (many) times and short of breath, and disregarded it. And while he can sense the tightness and pain in his chest each time, a recurring physical and tangible ache, Kaiser interprets the experience as some kind of metaphor for the figurative stabbing he was a victim of. The arrhythmia is a natural indignant response to whenever your irritating face pops up in his imagination, since you’re the perpetrator.

All this over some shitty break up. While it’s stupid for someone whose career is in sports to shrug off such obvious signs, until today Kaiser never truly thought it was serious enough to warrant such an overreaction from his body. You shouldn’t have this much power over him. He’s going to kill you next time he sees you for doing this to him.

He’s deep in denial and the grave he’s been digging with his stupid lies is shallow in contrast, inefficient. Can’t even deceive himself.

“It’s most common in people over fifty.”

Kaiser rolls his eyes. “Thanks. I really needed to hear that.”

“What I’m saying is, I assume you’ve been ignoring this for some time and it escalated to a bad attack. So, do you recall if you’ve gone through severe stress recently? Anything traumatizing even, either physically or mentally? When was it? If you could be exact, that’d be helpful.”

Traumatizing? Traumatizing? Is this man fucking kidding him right now?

Kaiser stares at the doctor as if he’s the stupidest person alive. Forget a person, he is a bug for such a suggestion. Through grit teeth, he relents, “There was something two weeks ago. By the way, it wasn’t traumatizing! That’s ridiculous.”

What’s even more absurd is the notion Kaiser wouldn’t know how much time has passed with perfect accuracy. Fourteen days he hasn’t been sleeping well, hugging his pillow and crying like a loser, cursing you, wanting you back, both a worshipper and a heretic.

What was he feeling at that moment, when you broke things off? Was it overwhelming anger which got him to this point? Though he’s been reliving the moment over and over, Kaiser still can’t identify it. Just something intense zapping him through his veins, a devastating shock, a surge of adrenaline. But surely it was resentment at your audacity to throw him away like disposable trash? He doesn’t like the thought that he’s been so pathetically sad, he got sick because of it, so this is what he’ll go with.

Thinking about it is enough to make him start picking at the skin on his neck like he’s trying to peel the ink off. It’s almost vile. At least he retains the common sense not to squeeze it in front of a medical professional who can send him away to a psych ward with ease.

The doctor, too, looks at Kaiser like he is an insane person. Good thing they pay him enough for this — otherwise, he doesn’t know how he’d deal with having a strange man with a bizarre haircut give him attitude over his diagnosis when it should be reserved for his barber or whoever is responsible.

“Two weeks ago, okay,” he says, writing it down. “Lucky for you, this is temporary and reversible unlike most other things we checked you for. You’ll be fine in about two months with the treatment.”

“So, like I thought, it’s not a big deal. I can still play football, right? Don’t need to lay off or anything?” Kaiser asks.

The doctor sighs. Again. He wants to measure the circumference, thickness and density of Kaiser’s skull. “You’re not listening,” he says, clearly exasperated, but still trying to exert patience. “Your heart is weak and not functioning properly at the moment. You can’t immediately jump back into living the way you usually do. It’s still serious no matter what you say and it can cause complications.”

Kaiser makes an annoyed expression like this is all one big inconvenience rather than a threat to his quality of life. “Are you serious? You’ve got to be shitting me.”

“I’m honored you seem to think I’m a hilarious comedian, sir, since this is your nth time asking, but it’s not the case,” he says levelly.

“Don’t get clever with me.”

A sharp inhale through the nose and the doctor’s back on track, maintaining a feeble grasp on his inner peace, at least enough not to snap. Then, after this brief recollection, he reaches out to grab something, then holds it up. It’s a picture that looks either like an abortion-to-be or a black and white photo of lasagna… maybe. “This is your heart.”

Kaiser almost forgot about the ultrasound or whatever since he was strung out and sedated- relaxed throughout that whole ordeal. At the sight of it now, always theatrical, he decides the best course of action is to wrinkle his nose and say ‘eww,’ even though he’s not squeamish. But treating the matter seriously means admitting he has a problem, and he can’t have that.

The doctor pretends he can’t hear anything and points at the relevant area with his finger to illustrate the crux of the matter better. “You have apical ballooning. Do you get it? Even if it’s temporary, you can’t treat it lightly. So-”

Kaiser tunes out the rest of the explanation. Blah, blah, he could harm himself, very original. His gaze is stuck on the echocardiogram, though, and this time he’s nauseous for real, the tiniest bit. It strikes him as particularly ugly and deformed. Organs are repulsive to begin with, anyway, but this… thing is his, and he’s seeing it now. In any case, nothing so disgusting is worth loving or treating with care.

Is this how you’ve come to see him? What does Kaiser look like in your eyes? Ugly and maladjusted on the inside? Someone who likes laughing at other people’s misery, but can’t take even the slightest puncture? So out of touch with his emotions — and of his own volition —, he’s started experiencing them in the most visceral way possible. His desire for you: torment, a disease.

Would you find him dramatic? Maybe, but at least you’d make him laugh and smile and anything else his troubled mind has decided he needs at the moment, from you alone. Doesn’t matter, though. He’s not privy to that kind of thing, not anymore.

There’s a sting in his eyes and Kaiser wipes away his tears with a hasty swipe, though a few more stream down his cheeks. He doesn’t even know what he’s crying about again.

The doctor observes the display with the distanced apathy of someone who’s watched people die and shit themselves.

He gets discharged with a prescription and elaborate instructions on how to go about his physical activities until it’s deemed he’s fully healed at the later check-ups.

Great. Pitiful.

___

What's funny is that Y/n's probably having a good day while all this is going on

#michael kaiser x reader #blue lock x reader #kaiser x reader #blue lock x you #bllk x reader

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jaylleoo14 · 4 months

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How I like to draw the twst characters because nobody asked

♡ i like drawing Jade two ways: Pretty boy twink or a "your daughter calls me daddy too"

♡ For Azul its either an unhinged crazy ass who might secretly be a boy loser or a fucking smartass scum who isnt pathetic

♡ Floyd is.... well, Floyd. He's silly! I love him unconditionally <3 (no i dont thats a lie- ACK HELP HES CHOKING ME-) Joking, I LOVE drawing him having threatening and scary faces. (that goes for Jade as well)

♡ Idia is either a whimpering begging mess or hes a fucking cocky menace whos actually threatening

♡ Leona is soft shy lion or a badass (yasss slay queen, we stan you‼️) and sassy at the same time (Have you seen the way he stans with his hand on his hip?)

♡ Vil is just strait up serving cunt, no words needed (she is always SERVING from the university of servington with a degree in serving cunt) I always draw him winning because she always is (we stay winning💯)

♡ Rook is an unhinged stalker with a crazy obsession or he's just a silly little lad whos always supportive of others (I like drawing him threatening too)

♡ Epel is my pretty boy who I love to draw because he's so pretty. I like to draw him very wild though and rambunctious

♡ Rollo is literally the same as Idias except he tries to hold his pride feeling really embarrassed

♡ Riddle has a strong presence and personality which i like to convey, being ruthless yet being incredibly soft. I like drawing him cute and pretty sometimes too :3

♡ TREY HAS NICE MF ARMS YOU KNOW DAMN WELL IM DRAWING HIM SCRUMDELIOUCIOUS

♡ Cater makes me sad, so I indulge myself in it. I like drawing him around deep and depressing themes, sometimes dark as well.

♡ Ruggie is either street punk cool and swaggy or damn attractive with an unhinged and sneaky overlay

♡ Jack is so cute to me, I like drawing him as the tsundere he is with a playful side to him with the overprotective bodyguard vibes

♡ Ace... I HATE THAT STUPID MF!!! God he's so annoying we might as well date already >:( He's super playful and flirty and i like drawing him sly and sometimes awkwardly flustered

♡ Deuce is my baby boy crush >\\\\< Hes so precious literally he's my soft boy. I love him sm omg

♡ Malleus is so awkward and somewhat stoic, yet thats what makes him cute! He's like a himbo to me hahahaha hes so silly to me sometimes but then im like, oh wait, hes hot. And then i do a 360 and all of a sudden he's this hot smirking bastard

♡ Lilia is so drippy he's my little doll, I want to style him in so many different ways (●ˇ∀ˇ●) and he's so badass yet girlypop at the same time, hello?? No one can pull it off like Lilia does, its the bisexual in him 🤞

♡ Silver is so sweet and pretty, though I always draw him sleeping because its so easy just drawing someone sleeping in low quality T0T (sorry Silver stans)

♡ Sebek is a silly little guy who I want to kick for the fun of it sometimes ^-^ But I like drawing him getting teased a lot or often getting picked on because I find it funny

♡ Jamil being a sassy overworked mom who always too tired to show any type of expression other than showing anger, exasperation, or an anxious stressed out look. Other than that, its a tired deadpan face for me as he's holding a mug saying "kys." Jamil is like a little hater to me and I stan that <3

♡ Kalim being oblivious and a bit slow, but other than that hes the happy radiating sunshine we all know as. I like giving him moments where hes so genuine and kind where you're just completely soft around him and an arrow shoots through your heart

♡ Ortho is that friendly neighbor! I like him drawing him being supportive of others and always being Idia's right hand man who can also be sneaky and sly

This doesnt usually apply to their yandere self though ^^

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bakiuwu · 5 months

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This chapter is fucjing me up bad, he started off the convo, bringing up how his abilities caught up to his body. It's like he was trying to impress yujiro. Like a kid trying to show off to their parent, then for yujiro to acknowledge him, cause he's able to tell by how he holds himself. Then, to tell him it's not perfect, only to follow it up with "but you're getting there"......I can't do this.

And look how he looks at him......omg, it like he's shocked that yujiro sees his growth......I can't do this

It is so werid seeing yujiro being.....kind? to Jack epically since after what happen between the two of them after baki and Jack's fight, and even after that, he doesn't seem to have anything to say to him or about him. Especially during the pickle arc, where he calls jack a pathetic loser along with evryone else, when everyone broke in to meet pickle( he didnt even bat an eye at him)

Yujiro acts like he only has one child and that child being baki. Even when Tokugawa brings up retsu,katsumi, and Jack's fight with pickle, saying how he doesn't see how baki could win if thoes 3 lost to pickl. Yujiro responded saying "thoes 3 have nothing to do with baki," then saying baki has his blood and that he's a Hanma. Then, when Tokugawa says, (Jack also has your blood. He just brushed it off saying "hes not pure." So, seeing him be so........normal to him while showing dislikement towards him is crazy

Yujiro brings up a quote from Musashi: "In Confrontation, you have to postion yourself above your enemy Musashi". He brings up how Jack getting taller is a shortcut of being over his enemies

look at his expression. He looks hurt. Even tho he hates yujiro, he still cares about his opinion. For him to repeat what yujiro said, then to ask, "Do you dislike it?" He sounds like a kid, a kid who cares deeply about his parent opinion, a kid who doesn't want to disappoint his father.....his facial expression....his body language. It looks like he slowed down a bit while walking like he needed a minute to register what yujiro just said to him.

It's not far off to say Jack cares about yujiro opinions about him to some degree. When Jack lost to pickle for a second time, he could only think of the last words yujiro spoke to him

"Resonate in his heart" i remember reading tha for the first time and wanting to die omg, but seeing him reacted like this isn't surprising, it's very clear how effective yujiros' words are towards him, and how even if trys to not care about yujiro opinion of him, a part of him deeply cares. Every child wants the approval of their parents even if they hate them.

After Jack asks him if he dislikes it, yujiro says, "I can't bring myself to" which made me threw myself against the wall.....LIKE I JUST CANT AND WHATS MAKES THIS WORST...

IS JACK FACE,HE WAS PROBABLY WAITING FOR YUJIRO TO RIP INTO HIM ABOUT HIM GETTING TALLER AND HIS WHOLE FIGHTING STLYE OVER ALL BUT NO

Yujiro beings to.....praise Jack......omfg itagaki I swear to go-, saying that what's he's doing isn't easy, how he dealt with humiliation and pain. HOW HE IS THE ONLY MAN WHO HAVE EVER STEP HIS FOOT INTO THE TURE WORLD OF BITTING, THIS IS SO BITTERSWEET BUT FINALLY HES GETTING HIS FOLLOWERS HATE THAG YUJIRO IS THE ONE GIVING HIM PRIASE.....but for him to say he has a rare purity.....oh I'm sick....like.....WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME

..........this panel killed me......its so......idk even know man, the way yujiro looks at Jack cause he stop walking but the way hes looking at him......his eyes are so soft......, then Jack....my baby Jack, my sweet baby......I can tell that he's trying to keep his composure.......the way he's noting even looking at yujiro, cause he knows of he looks at him.....he'll break out In tears.....oh my God and what says "....thats the first time....you've ever complimented me".........itagaki when I catch you......ow

Idk why, but him saying that really fucks my heart so bad......i dont even know what to say I'm so fucking sad right now. No one ever gives itagaki credit for how good of a writer he is, mans is able to yank your heart strings out if he wants, This is probably my favorite chapter....the mood of it is so....calm and idk, but If this was able to fuck me up bad, just imagine how I'm be when more Jack lore come out

But once again, I'm just rambling my ass off . Also, God, im so dramatic😭

#baki the grappler #baki dou #son of ogre #baki hanma #yujiro hanma #jack hanma #im going crazy #bakiuwu random rambling

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readyforthegarden · 4 months

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Breakable Heaven - Part Four

Pairing: Danny Wagner x Female Reader

Synopsis: Being the maid of honor in your best friends wedding is already stressful enough without the best man being the ex-boyfriend who tore your heart to shreds. Stumbling across a dating app with dates for hire, you take a chance, inviting a perfect stranger to pretend to be your boyfriend for the weeklong celebrations. But how long can the charade last when the champagne starts pouring and feelings start growing?

Warnings: talks of betrayal and cheating, drinking, slight voyeurism (watching someone change) 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!

WC: 3808

Dinner that night was fine, Danny was introduced to a few more bridesmaids that had made the journey in. And the next day was lackluster for him, the groomsmen didn’t have a plan, but the bridesmaids were all meeting up at a local dress shop, for one last look to make sure all the alterations done were perfect.

Danny was grateful Gavin seemed to keep away from you and him, though the occasional glare was tossed Danny’s way. It made Danny feel proud in some ways, that he had this effect on the man, and he wasn’t even really dating you. And that Danny was intimidating enough to keep distance from, well that was a cherry on top.

He didn’t really think much of Gavin outside of seeing him, until you burst into the hotel room in the late afternoon on Tuesday, your garment bag tossed over your shoulder. Your face was red, and you were doing your best to catch your breath. Danny paused the movie he had been watching and got up from his relaxed position on the couch, coming over to you.

“Hey, are you okay?” he asked, taking the garment bag off of you and draping it over the arm of the couch behind him. “You seem upset.”

“Naomi showed up early.” you grumbled, kicking off your shoes.

“Oh.” Danny shoved his hands in his pockets, not exactly knowing what to say. “Uh, what happened?”

“She showed up to the dress shop, Gavin told her where we’d be. She just showed up, uninvited and unexpected.” you moved around him, going to the couch and flopping on it. “Olivia was going to send her back here but there wasn’t any point.”

“Did Naomi do something?” Danny asked, lifting your legs and sitting under them, resting them back on his lap. “Say something?”

“No,” you pouted. “I just…it’s so stupid but I hadn’t seen her in a long time. And I didn’t think seeing her again would make me feel like this.”

“Like what?” Danny leaned in, his voice soft. You shrugged, avoiding his eyes.

“I don’t know…I guess kind of like a loser?” your fingers busied themselves with a loose button on your cream colored knit cardigan sweater. “It just makes me feel pathetic. I shouldn’t care about her or Gavin.”

Danny watched as you bit your bottom lip, staring down at the button.

“You don’t care about them.” Danny told you softly, rubbing a hand up and down your jean-clad calf soothingly. “But that doesn’t mean the hurt doesn’t come back when you see them again. Gavin really hurt you, honey.” The pet name slipped out, but if it bothered you, you didn’t show it.

“Naomi was another friend of mine.” you mumbled. “A coworker, really but I trained her and we got close and started hanging out. I should’ve noticed Gavin would leave the bed when she’d stay the night.” your name fell from Danny’s lips in a soft whisper, panged with sadness. “I thought ‘wow, what a great guy I have, checking on my friend in the night, making sure she has enough blankets.’ I was so stupid…and maybe I was a bad girlfriend and deserved it.”

“I’m so sorry,” Danny leaned over, wiping a stray tear you failed to hold back from your cheek. “You didn’t deserve it, even on your worst day.” your shoulders shrugged in response.

“My grandma always said ‘you’re either a lesson or a blessin’’. your response was paired with a sheepish smile. “Maybe this is my lesson.” Danny pulled his hand away, sitting back up as he rested it back on your calf.

“I hope you get your blessing soon, then.”

“Who knows, maybe I’ll get it this weekend.” A small laugh rippled from your chest. “Maybe they’ll fall down a well and go missing.”

“I’ll dig one myself if I have to.” Danny grinned, making you smile.

“Olivia will gladly help.” You smiled. “She’s been waiting to knock him out.”

“More hands make less work.” Danny laughed. A silence lulled between the two of you, his hands still resting on your calves. “Uh, do you want to get ready first or should I?”

“Oh I will.” you withdrew your legs from his lap. “I need to wash the day off of me.” you got up, going into the bedroom and laying out tonight's dinner outfit before getting in the shower. You tried to keep events of the day out of your mind under the hot water, but it was little use. You ran through fake scenarios, all from confronting her with sharp words and splashing a complimentary mimosa in her face to having a heart to heart and clearing the air. None of the scenarios made you feel better.

The walk down to dinner came quicker than you anticipated, there were only so many passes of your eyelashes you could do with your mascara wand, not wanting to risk annoying clumps resting on your lids.

Danny guided you down the stairs again, and at the bottom, wrapped an arm around your waist, tucking you into his side. Looking up at him, you smiled softly as his large hand gave your hip a squeeze of reassurance. There was something about the man next to you, you knew he was doing the job you hired him for, but he exuded comfort to you. You knew as long as he was there, you wouldn’t have to worry about anything.

The meal went off without a hitch, Olivia kept you preoccupied with your maid of honor speech, Danny’s arm lounging on the back of your chair as he spoke with Thomas about a golfer they both liked keeping you warm. Maybe it was the fact that every time you looked towards Danny, you caught the image of Naomi and Gavin at the other end of the table or it was the fact you felt so relaxed, but you allowed yourself to indulge in your drinks more.

When dinner was over, you and a few other bridesmaids had been talking excitedly as music played in the bar. Your laugh rang through it, hitting Danny’s ears and making him turn from his conversation at the bar to watching you bop to the beat that was playing while listening to your friend. The chardonnay in your glass swished with your movements, playing a dangerous game of trying to spill over the rim.

You had happened to look away from your friend, catching Danny’s eye and grinning. He watched as you excused yourself and made your way over to him.

“Hey lover,” you giggled, wrapping an arm around his torso, “Long time no see.”

“Hi honey,” Danny laughed as you took a sip of your drink. He gently took the glass from your hand, setting it on the bar. Instead of fighting him, you just wrapped your other arm around him, clasping your hands behind his back and smiling up at him. Your cheeks were tinged pink from your drinking and the excitement of the previous conversation. He wrapped one of his arms around you, hand on your back as you relaxed into him. “Are you having fun?”

“Mhm,” you hummed. He watched you as you stared at him, your mouth falling open slightly. One of your hands unclasped from the other, coming around and tapping the apple of his cheek, just under his eyes. “I figured it out!”

“What did you figure out?” Danny asked, confused. Your smile widened as you batted your lashes at him.

“Your eyes, they look like those caramel apple suckers you get at the cider mill.” your finger moved up and Danny was quick to catch your hand, pressing a kiss to the finger that was pointed up before linking your fingers together. “They’re so pretty, the caramel brown melting with the candy apple. They’re my favorites.”

“Well thank you, honey.” Danny laughed, his cheeks now turning pink. “I’d like to keep them, though, so I’ll hold onto this.” he squeezed your hand gently.

“Ugh, you two are gonna make me sick.” Olivia winked as she passed by. “Get a room!”

“That’s a good idea,” Danny winked back with a laugh. He looked down at you, watching you stick out your tongue at your best friend. “Wanna go get cozy?”

“Oooh yeah!” you nodded. “I’m done with this dress, and these heels.” After saying goodnight, you and Danny went back upstairs to your room. You moaned exaggeratedly after taking off your heels, making Danny laugh as you went to the bedroom, grumbling about never making your bridesmaids have fancy dinners for a week, shutting the doors and breaking off your own words.

Danny walked over to the couch, glancing towards the doors as the light flicked on. Through the frosted glass, he could see your dark silhouette moving about the bedroom. He meant to look away, but you were posed perfectly, taking off your dress at the foot of the bed. He watched you shimmy it down your body. Danny blushed, looking away, but not being able to ignore the movement out of his peripheral vision.

Danny’s eyes traced the curves of your body, feeling something stir in his stomach as he imagined being in there with you. The sound of another hotel room door in the hallway snapped him out of it, making him jump and scold himself. Turning around, he shook his head, telling himself it was the alcohol from dinner that was making him feel a little loose.

“I meant to say last night,” Danny called out after clearing his throat. “Your friends all seem really nice.”

“Yeah?” you called back, no longer in view of the doors when he turned around. “They’re pretty cool.” the conversation lulled for a few moments until your shadow reappeared before opening the doors, greeting him in your pajamas. Danny watched as you moved to the bed, sitting on it as he came in, grabbing his pajamas off the bed and walking into the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

Danny changed quickly, coming back out and fishing his phone from his dress pants pocket, plugging it into the waiting charger on his bedside table.

“I’m glad you’re getting along with them.” you smiled, setting your own on the table on your side.

“They’re fun to talk to, for sure.” Danny sat on the bed, getting comfortable. You followed suit, getting under the covers and laying on your side, facing him.

“Tell me about your friends.” Danny smiled at your request, awkwardly reaching behind him to grab his phone off the nightstand.

“It’s easier to show you, they’re kind of hard to describe.” he laughed, unlocking his phone screen.

“Ooh show and tell.” Grabbing your pillow, you pushed it closer to Danny's, nearly overlapping it and scooting your body closer, leaning in to see his screen. He scrolled through his photos before landing on one.

“This is Sam, he’s my best friend,” Danny tilted his screen to show you. “He’s probably one of the smartest people I know, he got accepted into Harvard. But he chose the band over it.”

“Oh wow, that’s a big decision.” you sighed, “What does he play?”

“Bass and piano, he dabbles in a lot, we all do.” Danny proceeded to list off the instruments they all could play, watching your eyes get wide.

“Okay go back to your friends before I feel even more talentless.”

“Sure,” Danny laughed. He swiped a few times, then landed on a picture of him and two others. “This is Jake, he’s the guitarist in the band. He’s insane, he’s always thinking of music and always playing these wild, complicated solos. And then that’s his twin Josh, he sings, he’s got this insane range.”

“Can I hear it?” At those words Danny became nervous. What if you didn’t like the music he dedicated his life to? What if you thought Josh’s vocals were too strange or it just wasn’t your genre? What if he picked the wrong song? “Please, Danny?” you pouted up at him from where your head lay partially on his pillow.

“Okay,” Danny exited his photos and pulled up his music app, typing in his band's name.

“Greta Van Fleet?” your voice was soft, as if you didn’t mean for him to hear. “Oh no, I told Olivia you were a rock band, and that sounds folksy.”

“We are a rock band,” Danny soothed your worries. “Here, this is a good one to start you off with.” You sat up as Danny leaned back on one of his arms, propping himself up and setting his phone in the small space between you on the bed. The beginning of a song titled Heat Above started playing, and Danny watched as you tilted your head curiously at the organ.

You kept your gaze on his phone screen, listening to the song as it played. Danny’s eyes were laser focused on you, noting every twitch in your lips, watching to see if they would turn down, if your head would shake instead of nod along. He suddenly despised how long the song was, near six minutes of agony as he awaited your thoughts.

“Oh wow,” the words slipped from your mouth softly as the first chorus hit. Danny couldn’t help but lean in slightly, exhaling a silent sigh of relief when you started to smile. “Danny, this is really good!”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah! Nodding eagerly, you turned back to him, eyes twinkling before pointing back to the phone screen where clips from the music video played. “I don’t know that I care for that metal thing they put on your head, though. I can’t imagine that it was light or fun to wear with those curls.”

“It wasn’t so bad.” Danny shrugged.

“I like Jake’s puffy sleeves though.”

“Oh that’s Josh,” Danny corrected gently, making you blush. “Jake is the one with the hat.”

“I’m sorry,” you slouched down, feeling embarrassed though there wasn’t much reason to.

“You just learned who they were five minutes ago,” Danny assured you. “As long as you don’t confuse them to their faces, they’re fine.” Something stung about that comment, making you lay back down and get under the covers. Maybe it was the alcohol still in your system, but suddenly you were tired, and didn’t want to have this conversation anymore.

“You okay?” Danny picked up on this, taking his phone off the bed and pausing the song. You closed your eyes, turning over so your back was to him.

“Yeah,” you answered quietly. “Just got really tired.”

“Okay,” listening as Danny got under the covers, you started to drift to sleep. Danny paused momentarily as he turned from plugging his phone back into the charger, realizing you hadn’t moved back to your side of the bed. There was still plenty of room for him to comfortably lay, but your close proximity surprised him. Once settled, he turned out the lamp, sending the room into darkness.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” he asked softly into the dark. The sheets rustled a bit as you moved, though you were still placed close.

“I’m just sad,” your voice was whisper-quiet, forcing Danny to turn his head towards you.

“Why?”

“Because in a few days, we won’t know each other anymore.” you replied, mumbling lazily now you were drifting farther into slumber. “And I’m gonna miss you.” Danny’s heart fluttered at your admission. You were going to miss him. Instantly the words ‘I’ll miss you too’ were at his lips, but your even breathing told him they wouldn’t be heard.

Danny laid awake next to you, his eyes adjusting to the dark of the room and counting the seconds to distract him. Why did it bug him so much that you would miss him? And that he would miss you too? Everything suddenly felt new to him. He’d gone on fake dates before, but it was nothing more than a night out, a dinner with long distance relatives or a work function. Never something as involved as this.

Slipping out of bed, careful not to disturb you, Danny grabbed his phone and headed to the living room, shutting the doors quietly. Taking a seat on the edge of the couch, he opened facetime, pressing the first contact.

“Daniel!” The young man grinned when the video call connected. “To what do I owe this pleasure?”

“Hey Sam,” Danny felt like he could breathe a sigh of relief. “I’m glad you’re up.” Sam rolled his eyes with a smirk.

“It’s only midnight,” he scoffed. “What’s up?”

“I need to talk to you about something.” This sobered Sam’s smile, Danny’s face was nervous, serious, and Sam began to run through every scenario he could.

“What’s going on?”

“Okay,” Danny took a deep breath. “You know how I’ve been going out on a lot of dates the past few months?”

“Yeah, you’re a real stud these days.” Sam laughed, letting his guard back down. “What about them?”

“Well, they’re not really….real.” Danny grimaced, realizing he didn’t know how exactly to explain it. Sam’s face reflected confusion and Danny continued. “So there’s this app where people can hire dates-“

“Are you telling me you’re an escort?” Sam deadpanned. Danny shook his head, rolling his eyes.

“No, I don’t sleep with them. It’s like if they need a date to a party or something, they can hire me and I’ll stand in.” Sam’s brows furrowed as he took the explanation. “I just got tired of you guys always trying to hook me up with someone, so I thought the dates would stop it.”

“Danny you could’ve said something,” Sam frowned. “If you’d said it was uncomfortable we would’ve stopped.”

“I know, but I just thought this was easier.” Danny shrugged. “Anyway, you know how I’m on my vacation?”

“Yeah?”

“Well my vacation is actually a date.”

“Wait what?” Sam moved on his couch, and Danny heard the gentle sound of his dog Rose’s tags clinging together as she adjusted presumably next to him.

“This girl asked me to be her fake boyfriend for a wedding, and I said yes.” Danny told Sam. “It’s this weekend but she’s in the bridal party and there’s a bunch of stuff, and her ex is a groomsman and she’s asleep in the other room right now.”

“So, why are you coming clean now about this?” Sam asked, watching the journey on Danny’s face. “You could’ve waited until you came back.”

“I-“ Danny began, but stopped. Sam arched an eyebrow at his hesitancy. “She’s a great girl, she’s sweet, and she’s funny, and I think we’re becoming friends,”

“Uh huuhhh,” Sam nodded, the tug of a smirk pulling the corner of his full lips up.

“Her ex is a dickhead, and he tried talking shit about her the first night and I could’ve knocked him out there.” Danny continued as Sam’s smirk turned into a grin.

“Is she pretty?” Sam narrowed his eyes as Danny rolled his.

“Gorgeous.” Danny nodded. A flash of your smile as he picked you up off the ground when he saw you after golf entered his mind.

“Daniel,” Sam leaned in close to his phone's camera. “You like her.”

“Of course I like her, we’re friends.” Danny shrugged. Sam shook his head.

“No, no,” he corrected. “You like her. Might even be falling in love with her.”

“I am not!” Danny whispered sharply, then turned to glance over his shoulder to make sure you didn’t wake. “I’ve only known her for three days.” Sam looked indignant and shrugged.

“Sometimes that’s all it takes.” he sighed. “Do you think she likes you?”

“I don’t know,” Danny shrugged. “That’s why I wanted to talk to you. When we were going to bed, she had asked me about you all, and I showed her some pictures and I told her about you-“

“That’s where you went wrong, now she’s in love with me.”

“Shut up,” Danny laughed softly. “But then she wanted to listen to a song, and she got Jake and Josh mixed up and then got sad.” Sam looked at Danny ludicrously. “She had a lot of wine after dinner, she’s a little tipsy.” Sam nodded in understanding. “But then when I asked if she was okay, she said that she was sad because after this week, we won’t know each other anymore, and that she’ll miss me.”

“Will you miss her?” Danny felt the words bubble up in his throat again.

“Yeah, I will.” Danny admitted, feeling a weight off his chest he didn’t realize was there. Sam stared at his best friend for a long moment, then spoke.

“Do you want my honest opinion?” he asked.

“Always,”

“A drunken mind speaks of a sober heart.” Sam recited the old adage. “I don’t know if she feels the same as you do, but at least she said she’s going to miss you. That tells me she feels something for you.”

“What if she just sees me as a friend?” Sam shrugged at Danny’s question.

“Then you’ve gained a new friend.” he leaned back against his couch, yawning. “Something tells me she likes you back, though.”

“What makes you say that?” Danny asked curiously.

“You said ‘we were going to bed’. Are you in the same bed?” Sam asked nonchalantly.

“Well, yeah.”

“Listen, I don’t know her but most women wouldn’t share a bed with a man they didn’t like if they didn't have to.” Sam answered. “Especially a stranger they only just met.”

“I don’t know,” Danny worried his bottom lip between his teeth.

“Daniel, make a move.” Sam advised.

“We still have five days left, what if she doesn’t and everything is awkward? We have to really sell that we’ve been together for six months.” Danny sighed, leaning back. “What if it messes everything up?”

“And what if it doesn’t?” Sam questioned back. Danny groaned, knowing Sam was right. Hearing shuffling from the bedroom, he sat up again, lowering his voice.

“I think she might be up, I gotta go.”

“Good luck, Daniel,” Sam gave his friend a little salute. “Keep me updated.” They hung up, and Danny slowly made his way over to the bedroom doors. He didn’t hear any movement, so he gently twisted the knob of one of the doors, opening it slowly.

The shuffling he had heard turned out to you rolling over in your sleep, head fully on his pillow now. Danny smiled at the sight of you, sound asleep on his pillow, arms encircling it. Had he stayed in bed, would that have been him?

“Shit,” Danny sighed under his breath. He was going to have to send a text in the morning, one he knew he’d never hear the end of.

He really was falling for you.

Taglist: (feel free to add yourself!)

@joshsindigostreak @sinners-go-to-drink-the-wine @ascendingtostardust @sammysprincess @sammykiszkamyass @belovedsamuel @sunfl0wer-power @indigo-starcatcher @sammyscherub @earthlysorrows @lvnterninthenight @allieisacrybaby @losfacedevil @xserenax-13 @sarakay-gvf @shutupdevvie @myownparadise96 @watchingovergvff @gretavanfleetposts @josiee-gvf @joshkiszkatoothgap @madneedshelp @gardensgatedaisy @demonrat444 @dannyandthekiszkas @tearsofbri @paleshadow-ofadragon @happy-harpy-stuff @like-a-woman-in-a-dream @starshine-wagner @objectsinspvce @josh-iamyour-mama @mountain-in-springtime @cal-a-bungaa @capturethechaos @gvfpal

@allybjt @hippievanfleet @weightofbrokenbells @joshkiszkasbadussy @malany-gvf @ruby0antlers @samofthedawn @sacredjake @aim4thedoublee @diditallforyouu @gvfmarge @highladyofasgard @sammysvanfeet @gold-mines-melting @earthgrlsreasy @mountain-in-springtime @forcebond301 @stardust-and-shadows @llightmyllovee @gretavangroupie @comesofarsomehow @infinisonicosm @indigofallingsky @hellowgoodbye @hearts-hunger @fwzco @dharma-divine33 @lightsofthe-living-gvf @ascendingtothestarsasone @klarxtr @ofthecaravel @musicspeaks @radmads-gvf @the-starcatcher @shineforever19 @earthgrlsreasy @demonrat444 @misshunnybee @valleydollgvf

#danny wagner #danny wagner x reader #greta van fleet #josh kiszka #jake kiszka #sam kiszka #breakable heaven fic #danny gvf #danny wagner fanfiction

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brandileigh2003 · 6 months

Text

Ok. But like?

I'm cool with remus not being traditionally beautiful. But Sirius still thinking he's the best thing ever. I think that he has certain attractive features, but he's def not some rockstar and most ppl don't take a second glance. But you need that to see the shade of his eyes, his crooked smile. Sirius loves him and finds beauty because of not despite of his scars. Bc they show strength and tell a story.

Mid level I think someone put it. Sure, I get why that can be a thing.

But. I think he can have sex appeal in other ways. His smile, his voice, a look in his eyes, muscles in certain places that defies him being otherwise skinny.

I'm fine with sirius being super intelligent and quick. Its canon after all. I love how him and James have this quality. But I don't think that means that remus liking to read or studying a lot takes that away from Sirius. I think that he likes academic validation, and he needs to read and study to stay caught up. He wants to prove he's worthy to be at school and has to work for it. I do think that he's smart though, and adds to group dynamics.

I don't think that he's just a downer and boring persay, otherwise why would they want to be with him. I think that he'll do the research maybe on the great idea that Sirius and James had and they will later carry it out flawlessly. Or sees some kind of gap in the plan and can think quick to help patch it up.

I do think he probably gets so hyperfixated on things which some people can't stand. but sirius loves to hear him talk about it. Just like remus is obsessed with everything sirius has to say. He's totally a nerd but I don't think he's just pathetic or a loser. Or maybe I just don't see those words the same as the recent posts have been using for him.

I think he's extraordinarily kind. he worships sirius, who in turn thinks remus is also the best. He's not rude to him even though I really do think they fight. But can't stay mad at each other long.

I do think that he can be angry, but I also think that a lot of times it's just at himself or crappy life circumstances. He's normally careful to keep any anger controlled bc he's worried about perception.

he's shy and and awkward and deals with a lot. He loves to help the younger students, and he uses above hard earned study methods to help them bc everything doesn't just come naturally or can share how he overcame it.

If everyone has a crush it's not bc he's completely hot or any of that. He's a soft boy with big comfy sweaters that gives good hugs. He's a good listener, a good teacher, shares anything he has, especially the chocolate that seems to be never ending in his bag. Bc he believes that it'll make you feel better. He has a kind word or compliment and can make you feel better.

I think he can be a momma's boy. And wants hope or poppy to hug him, and give him a space to cry and be weak. Otherwise I think that he likes to try to hide his pain bc he doesn't want to be a burden.

And ... That all said. I think that CR remus is different than a lot of this and hes absolutely perfect and I love him and I'd do insane things for this fictional man. It's one of my favorite ways to read about him. But something that carries over there from everything else I said is how enamored he is with Sirius Black. And how much he loves his inner circle. How he has this sacrificial love.

But anyways, I could go on about CR but that's totally not the point. Ive just seen a few things and wanted to say some things about how I see him a lot. And maybe the posts that have me feeling kind of sad talking about him are actually saying some of the same things I'm just negatively associating some words or ideas bc I know personally I can also interpret things completely the wrong way or not read into the subtext well enough

Let me know what you think. But if you think this is wrong; be kind.

And the people who like to come all up in my inbox about hating Sirius-- this isnt that. To be clear. I don't want remus to take over any traits of Sirius or whatever else you accuse me of. This has to do mostly with remus except me saying that sirius sees something in remus that a lot of people don't, that they're in love and adore each other.

I do in fact love Sirius Black and think he's wonderful. And you're missing the point if you think I hate that man. But I want to talk about remus rn and if you want something talking about Sirius, so many other wonderful people on here do that, so let's find that instead and let me hyperfixate and talk about remus.

Other random things I'll probably add to that really are prb just me.

-he is a horrible dancer. But he'll do it for sirius

-he'd do almost anything for Sirius.

-he's a music snob. But he'll read anything

-he is super annoying in class bc he shakes his leg or taps his quill. Sirius thinks it's adorable though.

-he needs a cane around the full. But he doesn't like to use it.

-the man loves weed. Him and hope smoke together.

-he has no idea how to take care of his hair

-to me he's associated with chronic illness, pain or disability in every universe. Or some mix or variation. (Ofc authors have free choice it's their story and I have no right for demands or anything) but I write him that way, hc him that way, get stupidly happy when I read it bc I feel so seen, search AO3 tags regularly for these portrayals.

-remus has no sense of style. But sirius doesn't care, he's so soft and cozy with his sweaters. The only thing about that is that I'm personally convinced hope bought remus a leather jacket, he shows up wearing it on the train, Sirius somehow gets his hands on it... Remus' eyes pop out of his head, maybe drools a bit- and it becomes Sirius' trademark

#remus lupin #remus loves sirius #sirius loves remus #wolfstar #marauders #remus lupin appreciation #my take on remus #please be nice to me #i am fine if you disagree #but don't be those rude anon messages #to be clear #i love sirius #but this is about remus #disabled remus #chronic illness #chronic pain

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deargodhelpmeaaa · 1 year

Text

Ranking my most noteworthy fictional crushes out of ten

Squidward

Look at this man. Look at his features. Isn't he just completely irresistible? I "fell for" him in in ninth grade and it was initially a joke bc I was obsessed with him since I had a friend who'd always talk Spongebob with me and despite never having watched it I enjoyed discussing it and thought Squidward sounded like an endearing and funny character. I'm not sure if this was completely ironic or not anymore and I'm scared.

6/10

Jon Arbuckle

We are off to an amazing start here, aren't we? Okay, so I just have a thing for pathetic men. And Jon is that. He is a beta male. He is a loser. He is sad. I want to say my "crush" on him developed when I read the comic Garfield Minus Garfield- a comic which I found interesting. I liked seeing this portrayal of the character- someone lonely, mentally unstable and possibly schizophrenic. Also when you boil it down, all Garfield is about is a mentally ill man ranting to his cat about his problems and his cat secretly doesn't give a crap, but he doesn't know because it's a cat who can't talk (iterations where he can hear garfield are dumb and lame unless there's a good reason for it). I love Jon, I am a Jon defender, and I argue he is funny and a cool guy.

8/10

Waylon Smithers

Undeniably the most regrettable fictional crush I have ever had, and sadly the longest lasting and most influential as well. My crush on Smithers lasted all the way through high school and my first year of college. My thirst for him- seemingly invincible. The worst part is, I'm not even completely over him. If I watch the show again without cringing at jokes I quoted badly, I can still see myself getting a little you know... when he shows up. So, what is his appeal, might you ask, why do I like him? Wimp. Wears glasses. Sadboy- he loves someone who doesn't give a crap about him. Something about his unrequited love seemed relatable to me. I also found his submissiveness attractive and he is what introduced me to the idea that a nerdy sadboy who does as I say is actually kind of really sexy. He's also the last nice person on this list. I found his sweetness appealing and for a while this made me think I only liked sweet boys. How wrong I was...

4/10. Would be 0 but he gets extra points because of how important he was to my development as a person. Low because I regret how I acted during this phase of my life. (too loca)

MEDIC

I literally got the game just for him and main him because I think he's hot. He looked like this stern, no-nonsense Atticus Finch-like medical guy who would yell at me in German for being a bad girl and I was into that. Then I played the game, watched the videos, read the comic and fell deeper in love. This guy was not that stern angry guy I thought he was at all. He was a cool guy and all nonsense. Funny, crazy, deeply invested in science, with what appears to be no regard for human or animal life- yet still somehow having a caring side which we see with how sweet he is to his doves- also I love doves too, omg! And he's still definitely the one that would be wearing the pants in this relationship, so the main appeal remains intact.

10/10

Duckman

Hey, what the hell are you staring at! Listen, you're not my dad and I have no control over who I find attractive, so shut up. I watched this show and I just saw this guy and I was like... whoa. Okay. That's... that's a man alright. A duck man, sure, but a man nonetheless. He had it all. He was pathetic, smoked heavily, rude, a goober, horny, impulsive, wore glasses... and was a massive loser, yet he has this strange charm about him that you'll notice if you don't take him too seriously. God, I just want to humiliate him. He's into that, by the way- it's literally canon in the show. He also was my first foray into what I like to call "angry ranting men" which is, well, a type of man who rants about random things. Okay, okay, I get it, ranting=bad whatever. But personally I see a strong appeal in rants. A rant is an unfiltered speech about a topic which one holds strong passion for. It is a glimpse into an insane mind, sure, filled with nonsense, with the occasional valid point made. I enjoy listening to rants because it lets a man let loose and just go wild.... and in a way, it is quite cute! Even if he is completely wrong in every way. I still enjoy listening, wide eyed with a glass of some drink in my hand I can't even drink because I'm kept on the edge of my seat by this strange speech. Also, this character has a good side to him. Like we see he loved his wife and loves his kids, and when he opens up to the women he meets, we see that he really isn't so bad of a person after all. I love this about him, and it is a crucial part of his appeal on top of everything else I've said so far.

7/10 because even I question this one sometimes. But not that much.

George Costanza

He's disturbed, he's depressed, he's got it all! Completely just the most pathetic man on television. An insecure, self absorbed little loser. I love him. He's so weak and he makes me so weak. He also looks really cute sometimes- is this just me? I want to do things to him >:) I think I have this thing where I am attracted to horrible men because I want to give them a better life, as I see myself in them, and boy do I see myself in George. We're both the same little cowards at heart, I think. I think we all have a little George in us. I just want... a lot of George in me. Ba dum ching! I should note that this savior complex mostly applies to fictional men... Irl I would just want someone who I could scare with my freaky boldness and have open up to me a little bit, and be there for. Like some cute Christian boy who is afraid of everything and hates himself for no reason. I don't really have much more to say, since I haven't watched the show in months. Also the last entry literally has the same actor behind him. Do I have a thing for Jason Alexander? It's very possible.

solid 8/10. Not a 10 because I'm worried about myself.

Filthy Frank

In my defense, I also have a crush on Joji so it's okay. But this is a list of FICTIONAL characters and I can't help myself. That's right, y'all, Franku is fictional and if you didn't see that who are you? Now I want you to think about everything here that has been established. I like horny men, losers, ranters, men who are bad with women, and men with ego problems (and then there's just Medic who is the exception to every rule here). Frank is all of those things. He is also completely depraved and has no inhibitions which I also find appealing. When you think about it, he's basically just a really concerning version of a bad boy. He's obviously not someone to admire, and I don't admire him at all. He's a joke. I laugh at him, not with him. I don't agree with most of what he says but if I knew him personally, I would gleefully listen to his insanity, while secretly going "yea no." I also just think he probably is into some weird stuff like.... in the bedroom and that is hot to me. I want to make him cry. Do I want to give him a better life? Not really to be honest. He doesn't really deserve it. I guess he's nice to the lycra people, though, and the book Francis of the Filth gives him a little bit of an arc where he becomes a better person and stuff, and there are kind of hints at him having something resembling a capacity for compassion (mostly in the lore) despite being disgusting and generally amoral, which again, is very important to the appeal. I also find him weirdly charming. If he was a real guy we would get along I think, even if he'd be an asshole to me sometimes and I'd even get fed up with him sometimes- he probably might think I'm cool if I choose my words carefully. Oh, right also he's just hella cute. I know he makes weird, creepy faces and is trying to look like a 45 year old Algebra Teacher who hates his life, but like, that just makes him even cuter to me. And I don't mind the throat cancer voice, either. It's cute, too. He's got this weird, undeniable charm to him that definitely contributed to his success and iconic status. So, sure, he makes weird noises, he's a terrible person, and all, but like... he's also cute and I'd probably try to pry into his sensitive side (which when you think about it, does exist) if he was real. I mostly just like him because he's a stupid, silly bisexual (re-watch the videos; it's true) who wears glasses, though.

My tastes in men are fucked.

8/10

My prediction for my next crush is some asshole from Catch 22 but probably the Chaplain.

I am allowing this list to be used as evidence for the decline of women.

#squidward #spongebob squarepants #jon arbuckle #garfield #Waylon Smithers #The Simpsons #medic tf2 #team fortress 2 #duckman #seinfeld #george costanza #fictional crushes #husbandos #filthy frank #francis of the filth #papa franku #catch 22

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celestemagnoliathewriter · 1 year

Note

001 for Remadora 😃

oh ho ho get ready for an essay @in-love-with-remus-lupin!

001 | send me a ship and I will tell you:

when I started shipping it if I did: I don't know if there was ever a point that I didn't ship them. I always liked Remus and Tonks, but it was on a reread of the series as an adult that I latched onto them with such ferocity that it turned into an irresponsible amount of fanfic (I'm closing in on almost 2 million words on ao3, yikes). I liked them more than all other ships combined.

my thoughts: Thinking back to my pre-fanfic days (which was less than two years ago), Remadora was, to me, always a cute ship. I loved the idea of Remus Lupin, a certified sad man, finding love in the form of this bubbly, colorful witch. I loved the idea of Tonks, a badass Auror, getting a family of her own and an adorable little boy who was so like her. Post-fanfic days, there's so much more that I can say, simply out of having read different headcanons about them or seeing how Tonks and Remus were treated in the fandom. I was so shocked to see that Remus was shipped with Sirius at least 10x more frequently than with Tonks, and then the bashing of Tonks that resulted from the way she was written in canon (which admittedly wasn't great, so we Tonks stans have to do some lifting to give her what JKR didn't). Now obviously the book series is Harry Potter and the [insert magical atrocity here], not Remus and the [insert attempt to find love in all the wrong places here]. So from a standpoint of Harry, I know why Tonks was written the way she was, but from the perspective of for-the-love-of-all-that-is-holy JKR why did you do another terrible thing, Tonks had so much wasted potential. So post-fanfic days I see a much deeper, richer view of both of these characters, their ship, and how they relate to the world around them. It's only deepened my love for Remadora.

What makes me happy about them: Remus finally gets love, acceptance, and a family. Tonks gets an adorable little boy and a husband who finds the greatest happiness in his life from her and Teddy. Look at all that happy. LOOK AT IT.

What makes me sad about them: Canonically, their deaths. I will reverse it a thousand times in my fics, in a thousand different ways.

things done in fanfic that annoys me: Tonks bashing, to start. Any form of Tonks as an evil manipulator, as a stand-in for Sirius by morphing to look like him, as a pushy, pathetic loser who doesn't know how to accept a no, any degradation of her character from a misogynistic lens - all that annoys me. On Remus's end, him not caring about her, him not loving her, him using her as a stand-in for Sirius, him not really caring about his family, or his refusal of her interpreted as him not liking her. The simple matter is that Remus didn't want to date her because he loved her and wanted to give her a better life than he could give her. Tonks didn't care and wanted to give him the love she thought he deserved. Any ways in which they're written that they don't actually love each other is an immediate no from me.

things I look for in fanfic: Strong, badass Tonks. Yes, she's sad and upset during HBP, so give me more reasons than just Remus. Is it because Sirius died? Is it because she's stationed at Hogsmeade, which is glorified babysitting and not super action-y? Is it because the Death Eaters are out in the open and her parents (mother especially) are constantly worried for her? Give me a complex Tonks. For Remus, give me one who is capable of so much love and kindness, but is worried and dark too. The man was ready to kill Peter in front of Harry & co, with no impact on his conscience. Yes, Remus is a broken man, but he's got a dark side, so show it. For Remadora together, give me a good progression of their relationship. I don't really care how they start, whether friends to lovers or idiots to lovers, but I want to see the pining for each other, especially Remus's sad pathetic pining and inner conflict. Give me Tonks's bubbliness and happiness and Remus being attracted to her like a moth to flame, ready to die just to get close to her.

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: They're my OTP, so they're always endgame for me. For Remus, I don't see any other romantic relationships. Maybe some trysts here and there, but I don't think he really fell in love with anyone until Tonks. For Tonks, I see some partners before Remus, but none that I see as endgame. For Tonks's patronus to change to Remus's, I think there had to be a big shift for her. I just can't see them not being together.

My happily ever after for them: They survive the Battle of Hogwarts and have a gaggle of little Lupins. In most stories I'll give them 2-4 kids. Remus goes back to teaching, Tonks goes back to being a badass Auror. It's not smooth sailing, of course. If you read my story, Cariad, you'll see how I break them apart to put them back together. They get a happily ever after but they really gotta earn it, lol.

who is the big spoon/little spoon: Tonks is the big spoon. Remus loves being the little spoon.

what is their favorite non-sexual activity: Hanging out as a family together. Remus getting to go anywhere with Tonks & Teddy (and other kids maybe) and just being a family. Remus adores them so so so so much. They're his everything, and Tonks loves seeing Remus so happy and fulfilled.

asks about ships and characters

#remadora #pro remadora #remus lupin #remus john lupin #nymphadora tonks #pro nymphadora tonks #pro remus lupin #remus x nymphadora #remus x tonks #tonks x remus #tonks x lupin #ronks #nymphadora x remus #teddy lupin #the lupin family #asks #send asks

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thephantomcasebook · 11 months

Note

These fans are mad that the writers are lame af because ain't no way they've never imagined they wouldn't do characters dirty for no reason before lol

In all honesty ...

I've never seen anyone or anything get so goddamn feral, so quickly, in my life, than the HOTD fandom did.

We all sort of eased back into the franchise at first after being incredibly let down and betrayed. Then from 1x03-1x05 it was like being a part of the GOT fandom again with funny memes and joking around. People slowly falling in love with Alicent and kinda liking young Rhaenyra. All of us agreeing that Matt Smith is a great actor.

Then, around 1x06 to current day, everyone just lost their goddamn mind.

Suddenly there's this weird cult like hate or adoration of Alicent. Fucking Rhaenyra stans out here screaming the condoning for the murder of children and the need for it. You can't even praise Jaehaera - a sweet and innocent little girl - and wish that she get better treatment without some creepy losers shitting themselves in anger over it.

I was on discord earlier and I was showing them the kind of deranged asks that people send into my inbox and it was a large topic of conversation between people - some who may or may not work on HOTD in some capacity or another - about the level of vitriol and rage that cropped up out of absolutely nowhere.

Reddit is a hive of buzzing angry hornets at the best of times, but the level of hatred and anger in the ASoIaF fandom is just unreal and everyone who is a fan and even people who work on the show are noticing it.

I've got this major fucking loser we were making fun of today who is so fucking pissed off because I have a pet theory of A+C=D and they're so angry and offended by it that they hate read my blog and act like one of those sad pathetic "Reply guys" on twitter at every post.

There's also this person who we tracked down and whose blog we all had a good laugh at reading, who sends absolute vitriolic asks because they refuse to believe that Jessica Brown Findlay was originally cast to play Alys Rivers. There is all sorts of evidence from both Olivia Cooke and Phia Saban following her on Instagram, to the head costume designer and several directors from season 2 following her on instagram, to her even liking several instagram posts from the Costume Designer about cast fittings before someone on twitter noticed and she unliked everything.

But still, this person truly believes that if she "Stans" the replacement actress for Alys, that she's somehow a good and righteous person that can claim internet points for being the first stan.

And I think that's the weird part about this whole thing with fandom that we were talking about.

There's people in this fandom, on Twitter and Reddit, that somehow equate their favs to be linked to some sort of real life virtue. That there some sort of moral equivalency test to liking an aspect or character of this goddamn show. And if you fail it or don't line up you're not just against the tribe, you're all and all evil.

And it's so fucking wild how a fandom went from fun crank theories about Varys being a Mermaid to being evil and awful, because, you talked to someone who was around the volume for Pre-viz who heard something at lunch and you relay what they heard to someone who asked what the word is in the gossip mills these days.

Even when you preface and epilogue the post with it being a rumor and probably not true, they still gnash their teeth and post on Twitter and Reddit trying to get a hate mob together to come after your blog.

Mutha'fucker, I'm a 33 year old man who has been shot at and been in life or death fist fights with dudes twice my size.

All I have to do to kick your ass is ignore an app for a few days while I finish a chapter and watch retro anime and Downton Abbey.

Either way, it's crazy out here, Nonny.

Get strapped and stay vigilante, the hoard of rage zombies are out in force.

#House of the Dragon #Alicent Hightower #Aemond Targaryen #Criston Cole #Alys Rivers #Rhaenyra Targaryen #Daemon Targaryen #Aegon II Targaryen

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muchymozzarella · 10 months

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People have this image of Miguel as a Rizz Machine of a Latino white man when it's the opposite. My dude has no rizz, is miserable most of the time, and has load of unhealed trauma with no friend and catholic guilt. If you had to sum it up, you'd say that he is a loser with achy skin. But we love this pathetic, edgy man 🥲🥺 and actually want him to be happy for once in his life and go to therapy.

Anyways, I read that you've written a fic about him and I know from what I've read on your blog that it is going to be good material so, please where can I read it?

Exactly!!!!! Remove his rage and he's stressed, sad, empathetic, kind of a loser but hot so we love him (and he's a good leader that people respect)

My fic is Gato on AO3.

It's not for everyone because it's (aged up) Miles/Miguel and with Bottom Miguel so if that's not for you you can avoid it, but it's like 80% fluffy Miguel recovery fic and silly shenanigans (Deadpool shows up to sow chaos, everyone gossips about Miguel smiling, everyone hiding behind Miles when Miguel is mad, there's a sugar daddy chapter in there somewhere) so have at it if you want it~

Here's an excerpt if the summary doesn't catch you:

He feared mockery when he actually sought help for it, finding himself on Ezekiel Sims' couch, speaking to the somewhat caustic but ultimately kind and wise man they'd all dubbed the "Spider-Therapist." Ezekiel listened to him and his endless frustrations, cut to his guilt and, instead of telling him it wasn't his fault (something Miguel had long gotten tired of hearing), asked him a question that would stay with Miguel for a long time. "What does that help?" He'd asked. Of his guilt - what does it help? And he'd answered - it made him work harder to save others. Then of his perpetual tiredness - what does that help? When he said he was the only one, Ezekiel scoffed and said he wasn't stupid - he knew who Jessica Drew was, and wasn't this whole operation so Miguel wouldn't have to do it alone anymore? What would it help if Miguel ran himself ragged, killed himself because he couldn't act like an adult for two seconds and get some rest? Ezekiel just as often referred people to colleagues he had when his methods weren't a good fit, but he was exactly what Miguel needed - especially when he told Miguel to plan for a future outside of his work. So Miguel did just that. And the idea of a child grew more and more in his mind until he couldn't escape it anymore. Holding Mayday's hand as she walked the walls around him and demanded his attention. Gently rocking Gerry to sleep when Jess needed to give orders on a mission. It was something he wanted. A future. A life. "Don't think in terms of deserve, Miguel. You think deserving anything matters? You think you deserve what happened to you? You think you deserve a kid? Nobody cares what you deserve. But can you do it? And can you do it well?" Ezekiel had said. "And if the answer is no, then why the fuck are you running the Spider Society?" "Running a multiversal operation and caring for a child are two very different things, Ezekiel." "Sure they are. So ask Jessica Drew how she does it."

So yah! I totally get if people don't wanna read it but I got some good reviews so :P

#replies #ask box #miguel o'hara #fanfiction #flowerfang

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divine-swag-summit · 11 months

Text

Round 1 Summary

Round 1 is over, folks! Thanks so much for voting!

I'm not gonna lie, this tournament has been kind of a hassle to set up, but seeing your propaganda and your comments in the tags have made it so worth it! Seriously, y'all are hilarious.

I won't be listing the results of every matchup here, you can look at the round masterposts for that, but I will highlight some of the more notable matches.

Closest Matches

Behemo Barisol vs Crimson: 50/50 Somehow, we ended up having a perfect tie on Round 1-A of the Higher Bracket! That's only the first day of voting! Isn't that amazing? Behemo and Crimson will both move on to round 2 and will go against The Forest Spirit in a three-way poll!

The Smiling God vs Saiki Kusuo: 49.1/50.9 With just a .8% difference, Saiki K. managed to pull through! And on the Night Vale website no less! Great job Saiki! Your friends are probably very proud, though you probably don't enjoy all this attention,,,, sorry!

Mare Incubus vs Mianite: 50.4/49.6 Would ya look at that, Mare Incubus made it to round 2! I honestly didn't think he would get this far, considering the fact that he's the protagonist of a Norwegian book series that had never been translated to English. All that propaganda certainly paid off! Great job, Mare!

Jake English vs Mythra: 49.5/50.5 I honestly didn't think this match would be so close! I'm not sure who I thought the favorite would be, but I certainly didn't think they would almost tie! Sorry Jake, looks like your Hope powers weren't strong enough to get you the win. You still have a long way to go on your journey, young Page. As for Mythra, well, I don't know much about Xenoblade, so here's what my friend has to say about her win: "I see mythra won and therefore everyone is correct"

Biggest Sweeps

The Great God Om vs Feena: 86.8/13.2 I'm so sorry for this matchup, Feena. I genuinely underestimated how popular Discworld was! Feena will have another chance at victory in the losers bracket. Maybe this time, she'll have a fair shot at victory.

Rosalina vs Scaramouche: 81.1/18.9 As a Genshin fan, I think it's very funny that Scaramouche lost this hard. I'm glad we can all agree that he's truly a small, sad little wet noodle. Also, fun fact, I beat his boss fight first try. Get rekt you pathetic little man.

Shade Lord vs Ozpin: 80.8/19.2 Ya know what, I get it. Shade Lord does look pretty cool. Perhaps this was an unfair matchup. To be honest, I kind of thought RWBY's popularity would make this unfair for Shade Lord.

Dianite vs Alecto: 18.6/81.4 Yeah, I should've seen this coming. Once again, I didn't know how popular The Locked Tomb was when I made the bracket! I'm so sorry Dianite, but you still have a second chance in the losers bracket!

Anoia vs Xanu: 80.3/19.7 RIP Xanu, I'm not caught up on Fool's Gold so I don't know what your deal is, but you will be missed.

Four vs Alter: 18.8/81.2 I just wanna say, every single picture of Four I found was absolutely hilarious. I've never seen Battle for Dream Island, but I can tell that Four would probably be my favorite character if I did. Well, see you in the losers bracket, Four!

The Prophet's Personal Highlights

Bill Cipher vs Madoka Kaname: 35.8/64.2 Honestly, it was so funny to see everyone rooting for Madoka to beat Bill's ass in the tags. In other, unrelated news, Bill Cipher was found dead in Miami. Oops, I wonder who could've done that!

The Glow Cloud vs Q: 70.4/29.6 I honestly thought this would be closer, considering how popular Star Trek is. This matchup definitely surprised me. Also, my mom was very upset about Q's loss. She's very disappointed in you all.

Venti/Lord Barbatos vs Void Termina: 32.9/67.1 Alas, my poor blorbo! As poll runner, there was nothing I could do to sway opinions in Venti's favor, for I must remain impartial! It hurts to see my favorite silly little guy lose, but at least we still have the losers bracket.

The Harvest Goddess vs Hanyuu Furude: 51.2/48.8 Yet another blorbo, gone too soon! Hanyuu, you're the best in my heart. Unfortunately, this match was too close to allow Hanyuu to qualify for the losers bracket, so this was her only chance. Hanyuu, you will be missed.

Starclan vs Featherine Augustus Aurora: 67.4/32.6 I've never played Umineko, but I have some friends who have, and, well. We all voted for Starclan. To think, Starclan is so powerful that even Umineko fans voted against Featherine. Ah, well. She still has another shot with the losers bracket.

And that's it for the round recap!

So, what now? Well, on Thursday I will start the Losers Bracket! Tomorrow I'll release the bracket so you can get your propaganda ready.

#divine wisdom #divineswagsummit2023

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nolanhollogay · 8 months

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"can i kiss you?"

in my mikeyjohnb feels.....

cw for mikey talking about nsfw things dgdf but not in a sexual way he's just Talking and also mikeyjohnb smoking oui'd

It felt like it had been years since the last time Mikey and John B hung out one on one, which was really kind of sad because they used to live in each other's back pockets.

But it was fine. They had all the time in the world to sit and do nothing together.

Especially now that John B had what Edgar pegged as his "teen divorce" from Sarah. (He'd said it in passing, obviously joking, but it made Pope shoot orange soda out of his nose, so it obviously stuck.)

Mikey knew that it was because of his own pent up feelings, but he was kinda glad they were broken up. He missed when John B was John B and not JohnBandSarah. When they weren't all risking their necks for her every three seconds. He liked her, he really did, but it was good to have his friend back.

So, they were in John B's bed, sharing a weed pen that JJ stole off a Kook. He was supposed to be here with them, also partaking, but he said he had "more important things to do" which was JJ speak for being in gross love and hanging out with his boyfriend.

"Hey," he tapped John B on the arm to get his attention. "When JJ and Edgar bang, who do you think is on top?"

John B went through the five stages of grief in under thirty seconds. "Why would I want to talk about that? That's not my business. And Edgar is, like, suuuper Catholic. I bet they don't even have sex." He paused, obviously thinking about it. "Probably JJ."

"First of all, they're definitely having sex, and they're definitely gross and sappy about it. I've seen the hickies JJ leaves on him. Secondly, I feel like it might be Edgar. Church people are always secretly nasty," Mikey said seriously, passing the pen back. "I walked in on him giving JJ head the other day."

John B gasped. "You didn't."

"I did!" Mikey laughed at the memory. "JJ wanted to murder me."

John B blew a cloud of smoke into the air, laughing as well. "I'm surprised he didn't."

"Edgar doesn't condone murder," Mikey teased, "Gimme the pen back, greedy."

"It's not even yours!" John B said, handing it over anyway. He lied on his side to watch Mikey smoke. "Can I kiss you?"

Mikey choked, dropping the pen onto the bed and sitting up as he hacked up a lung. "What?"

"I don't know. We don't have to. I'm just high as fuck and you look pretty and I want to kiss you."

There was a lot of reasons why this was a bad idea. 1. John B was still dealing with his previously mentioned teen divorce. Mikey wasn't sure he was equipped to be a rebound. 2. Mikey had been half in love with John B for pretty much his entire life, and he thought he was getting over those feelings. If they kissed, he'd fall headfirst, right back in. And it would be pathetic. 3. Probably most importantly, Mikey's ex boyfriend was a literal murderer who wanted John B dead, and would absolutely lose his shit if he found out something happened between them.

Still..

"Yeah, okay."

John B's giant fucking cow eyes managed to get even wider. "Seriously? We don't have to..."

Mikey rolled his eyes. "I'm a fully consenting adult, Johnny Boy. Now man up and kiss me."

John B scoffed. "You're such a loser."

"A loser you want to k–"

John B's mouth cut him off.

Mikey's very first thought was Wow, he really needs chapstick. His second thought was Oh my God, I'm kissing my best friend. Then his brain turned to TV static as John B grabbed the back of his neck, pulling him closer.

There weren't fireworks, like in the movies. And it didn't feel like hundreds of hummingbirds were inside of him, which was how JJ described his first kiss with Edgar when he was drunk off of a USA FourLoko. It just felt like it was something that was supposed to be happening. Like puzzle pieces meeting up.

John B pulled away, breathless, and Mikey bit his lip to stop himself from smiling. "S'at okay?"

Mikey nodded, scanning his face to see his reaction. He didn't look upset or confused or anything. He just looked like John B.

"Do you wanna.." He glanced down at Mikey's lips, "do it again?"

Mikey had never wanted anything more in his life. "Fuck yeah I do."

John B laughed, before leaning in again, sliding his hand into Mikey's hair.

#michael caswell #mikey asks #mikeyjohnb #asks #my writing #leaf tag 🌿

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spaceistheplaceart · 1 year

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reigen for the character meme!

How I feel about this character

ohhh man. ok. he's the best character in the whole damn show imo. he's so pathetic and funny yet not completely lame. he's the kind of character that I always go for where he just makes me laugh and want to walk away from my computer bc hes being so cringe. what a fucking clown. i give him way too much credit as a good person because WOW he can be a super stupid dickhead sometimes huh (just watched the last ep where he encouraged mob to join that thing... bro NO.) also. um. hes a little hot sometimes. ok bye.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

uhh again. not rly anyone. seireis kinda nice. idk. i do want him to have a relationship bc it'd be funny. he'd be so annoying about it and cringe and even mob would be like "get a room."

My non-romantic OTP for this character

mobbu!!! talked abt this on last post but they are so important to meeeee... he rly cares about this babied boy!!!!!!!!! he cares him so much even tho hes stupid about it. theyre bffs.

My unpopular opinion about this character

he doesnt have as much of a fondness for mob as people thinks he does. I dont think he thinks mob is cute (maybe sometimes when young) and he doesnt think of himself as a father to mob... maybe a mentor/fatherly figure but he knows mob has parents and reigen also does not want a child because the responsibiltiy is way too grand. kind of like... if you visit a friends house to play with their dog. playing w the dog is fun!!! would you want a dog of your own? fuck nah bc then you gotta feed it and take care of it and shit. so whenever ur in the mood u just go over n hang w the dog at ur pals place. I think he thinks mob is an awkward loser. (hes wrong tho mob is amazing fuck u reigen) but also he's scared of mob surpassing him and reigen becoming the awkward loser.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

hmm. two things.

reigen taking care of mob. like bandaging him up after a fight and comforting him or taking care of him when he's sick or something. and then mob is very grateful and reigens heart fills with warmth... oohghhhh family,,,

or reigen being taken care of by somebody. maybe mob! reigen is depressed or sad or wahtever but ppl work hard to brighten his day. I want him to make more friends, I want serizawa to invite reigen out to a school event and reigen meets people! I want reigen to have more friends and be happy and thus become a better person and be taken care of! but also if he gets too egotistical abt it I want him smacked upside the fucking head. also i want someone to mock him and his stupid lil movements.

#op posts

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1nvad3rz1m · 2 years

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I myself see ZIM as ageless, but I find the kid-thing funnier than the adult, because in the fandom the "Old man ZIM jokes" I see are just parroting the same punchline most of the time, like: "Haha, ZIM is a pathetic looser who has no life, getting beaten (up) by a kid!" And "I am old, but I am stuck in elementary school, I am a clown." - says ZIM, feeling sorry for himself. I am pretty sure if ZIM wouldn't find the school valuable at all, he'd find a way to leave. He is not the one who gives up easily. Of course, the jokes can be done well, I found a couple of them funny, my problem mainly is how repetitive they can get. I just want some variety... I mean there are other kinds of jokes with it, but I saw the two of the most, and like I said it got tiring for me. It's not the people's fault, everything is new when you enter the fandom, so it is just probably comes with being a fandom for years. I started noticing patterns, tropes, trends, re-eccuring discourses...

oh i completely agree, part of zim being a kid is that its funny as hell hes a 12 year old (equivalent) war criminal.

see thats also my issue is that it just becomes so...depressing. when zims an adult. i guess thats kind of the idea but it just feels so sad when most fans love zim, love his funny antics, i wouldnt want him to be some loser adult that has no hope of any kind to improve or grow and his only reason for being outcast is that hes a moron and not much else.

it also tips the scales massively in dibs favor because if zims full grown hes stuck, dib needs to wait out a few more years and then he can easily overpower zim. theres no room to keep their game going, it just ends.

theres far funnier scenarios with zim that work better if hes ageless or a kid, having him be an adult limits it to depressing humor that i just cant personally enjoy.

#mars talky tag #also just adds interesting flavor to irken society #i always hced that irkens dont live long unless theyre tallests #or near tallest #due to naturally being shorter because of age theyre immediately disregarded and killed if theyre not smeets #theyre expendable so only the savvy and early growers have a chance at survival #making most irkens children or young adults because thats all that most of them can live to

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ducknotinarow · 1 year

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2k3 Rasey 😖

| Send a 😖 for your muse to catch my muse having a panic attack

The air was cool, no snow, but the chill of winter clung to the dark city sky. Dark and deep yet some stars managed to break past a smog city skyline only outdone by the blinding bright lights of the city. Didn't matter how bright those lights dazzled and illuminated the area. Crime still found a way to keep to the shadows. To much if the bad luck of the guy being tailed by a certain red banded turtle now. They were well aware something was after them as if he was being hunted. The only sound was of them running, bumping into trash cans as they were looking up and over their shoulders. Raph could have taken them down sooner but sometimes the chase was far more fun. There was always a strangler that managed to break by Raph jump down and caught them off, smiling when they stumbled back at the sight of a giant turtle.

"aw ain't got any more run in ya? an' jus' when I thought you might get away." Patronizing them a little.

Raph liked to play around with his victims just made it more of a game to him. Look sometimes the street thugs were nothing but a joke so beating them up? was just kind of sad and not to mention make for short fights. So make them squirm maybe let them get to chase them even it was pretty much a cat and mouse game from that point. Taking a step forward Raphael watched them step back till they hit the brick wall behind them, they drew out a pathetic pocket knife. And Raphael just chuckled. Even letting his stance fall as he bent over to laugh at them. Man sometimes you had to wonder what pathetic pack of losers got roped into this life. Some yeah clearly had been harden by this life, not this guy was like hunting a rabbit.

" 'his is gettin' sad guess I shouldn' drag it out anymor' than I have." Owning up to the poor guy he was getting screwed with this whole time. Beside Casey will be catching up with him eventually and he's got a score to top. Can't let them try taking them out and remove a tally from Raph. So to add to their own, one way to keep these nights a bit fun turn into a game, and well Raph didn't like to lose. A tilt of his neck and crack it before closing in on them. Was odd though he could feel a slight tingle around his wrists, suddenly. Raph knew that feeling he has gotten it a few times almost like a chill. He assumed his quick heart rate was just do to the adrenaline rush. But when he started to feel dizzy? hmm he ignored it. Yet when he ran out towards his thug throwing the first punch he missed. He missed by a lot too hitting the wall, knuckles hitting brick. Raph gave a shake of his head. Confused. This was like before, when Don found him in the alleyway.

"fuck not again."

Breathing heavily, he hadn't even worked up a sweat though? Things where spinning. Fuck not again not now. That's when he felt something, sharp against his arm. Familiar, pain as he turned to eye the guy he been chasing down till now. Watching as they tried backing away seeming to try their luck and take their shot just then, he let his eyes fall down to look at his arm lower it a bit where he could see the thin cut, not too deep but enough to cause some blood to to stream from it. Why was he freezing up? It's like he couldn't move his own arm? Gritting his teeth as he could hear the sound of feet echoing out through the alleyway, he focused on the pain on his arm but it wasn't enough. Eyeing the guy who suddenly weighed his options and turned around quickly to dart out of the alley he been trapped in.

"Stupid punk." Raph growled under his breath breaking away from the wall. It took no time at all for him to catch back up, grabbing at their wrists and pulling them back towards himself, their knife easily sliced against his cheek. Just like when he did it himself it was helping. Well some stupid part of his brain made it out like that was clearly the case. Just the sting of any. A hit, a cut anything and whatever. If it hurt it seemed to keep whatever this was away. "who said this dance was over uh?"

----

A few more cuts now adored Raph's form, the guy he trailed after was clearly knock out long enough for the cops or whatever to find but Raph was still hanging around them. They didn't stand much chance even with Raph letting them get some hits in. Least If Don asked it wouldn't be a lie when he told them he just got into a scuffle with a guy and their knife. Standing over them as his body heaved. There was a lot wrong with this scene, these guys were barely a warm up yet how could they have got that many nicks on to Raph. As the turtle stood over them as if waiting for any sign of them moving. The second they showed some sign on consciousness Raph would likely go again, he was near challenging them to get up again. Raph was clearly not in his right mind.

He knew it, it why he was trying to force it away. That's when he heard foot steps he was on guard looking for more fight but it was just Casey. You think he drop the stance when seeing them but he didn't as if for a moment he considered fighting with Casey. It took the turtle a moment to realize it was Casey in truth lowering his shoulders.

Get your shit together Raph.

Stepping away finally it was clear the guy was out and done, as he walked over to Casey now. "Looks 'ike I'm in the lead now." He tries to act as if he don't look like a butches knife right now. "don' worry I didn't notice the knife is all." Yeah the turtle with ninja training couldn't handle a simple pocket knife? Looking at Casey he simply folded his arms over his plastron and lowered his head to look away from them, shoulders hunching up a bit that old distance instinct to hide in his shell was working. And in a way it was sometimes it felt like Casey could read him like a book. Which was ticking him off "What need a picture? I know ya got it bad for me Jones but don' need ta stare." Despite the try for humor it was clearly he was snapping at them right now. Yeah part of Raph knew Casey was just worried but if Casey looked to close? he might manage to piece together Raph did this to himself.

Raph rolled his eyes, dropping his arms "What! I'm fine fuck ya think these little cuts are gonna do anything to me?" Likely not what they are thinking. "im fine so stop with that stupid look!" he wasn't fine, he was breathing hard again, his shoulders were clearly shaking. Letting a fist fly and hit the hockey stick between them. It may come out as an attack on Casey to get off his shell, but seeing how the wood splintered Raph dug his knuckles in against it. He needed to keep whatever was wrong with him away.

His knees felt weak, though as he breathed heavily. Why was the air so thin? A step forward and Raphael let his forhead rest to Casey's shoulder a moment. Stick held between them but Raph didn't notice it at the time. He didn't chance a look at them right right now he wasn't brave enough to face them. Before it could amout to a bad mood this time? Fuck. He was leaning against them Casey wasn't that dumb to not think something was wrong at least. He let's fingers curl and grip on to Casey's shirt a moment. That all he needed just a moment he'd be fine. Eyes squeezed shut as he counted to himself softy. Shove it down get up this ain't anything. He repeats a few more times before finally getting it in him to move back.

"I think imma hit the lair maybe he had somethin' traced on that knife."

#muse| hamato rapheal #madamkezzie #aflockofffeathers #[ if you jump off a bridge its only cause i did first aflockoffeathers]#send a emoji prompts #panic attack meme #ic reply #tw: panic attack #(( did I lowkey rewrite a scene from an old reply and plot? yes uwu I just love that image ;3;))#((donnie aware of raph hurtting himself and now casey kind sort of aware he lets himself get hurt even uwu raph is fine don't worry))#tw: knife #tw: self harm

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