never not thinking about claire schwartz writing “despite it all: tenderness. do you think i didn’t see you? you asked as you were leaving. i think you saw me completely, & left anyway. love is so embarrassing. i bled in your bed. i’m sorry. i have built you a shore with all my best words & still, the waves.”
Am I a boy or a girl, somewhere in between,
Or nothing at all ?
I can’t help think as I stare at myself in the mirror
with my thin hair that goes past my shoulders
That maybe I’m just lying to myself
That the need to be masculine , the new name that I have chosen , the discontent I feel towards my body
Stems from a place of mental illness and insecurity .
After all, I was always comfortable just being simply a girl my entire life thus far
I wonder what has changed.
I’m sick of trying to figure myself out
My family would never look at me the same if I told them
The world would refuse to accept my truth
Everybody would treat me differently, and that’s not what I want
So I guess I’ll choose to be nothing at all.
The middle of a typical tapestry
Shows its face in the summer sun
And the outsides of the cloth
Are observed by close to none
And even I
Am not that bright
It’d pass my eyes
If it wasn’t spelled out in front of them
And my poetry can only ever be rhythmic
Much less rhyming
I guess breaking that pattern
Could be symbolic
my school is holdiing a poetry contest should i enter
When I went to the training seminar on being a court translator I realized that my natural talents came in very handy for so many things.
Simultaneous translation is one of the absolute hardest skill sets. One that can almost not even be taught.
And I realized when I did it so easily with absolutely no training that I had to keep it under wraps.
(Who knows what else I can do?)
i have no idea what the magnus archives is (i only know it's about cryptids, statements and stuff since i read like ... a tma au of one of my favorite medias) but im like, interested?? considering yknow investing my time into cryptid shit??
i know it's on spotify and stuff, i haven't checked if it's on yt tho ... regardless, i just wanna know more about this martin and jon character.
from what ive seen, one of them is an out-of-the-closet emo and the other is probably secretly emo (both could be traumatised from the things ive heard abt them and tma in general)
hhhh this is getting long, and i absolutely have no idea why im writing this to you and how to end this ask but you, and a few other artists who's names i forgot, has made me interested in tma and i shall now listen to it i suppose
also i like ur art!! it's vv edible and it gives me vibes "would probably get featured in a candy style tiktok edit" vibes
It’s on YouTube! (That’s where I listened to it)
I recommend it highly! I’m not one for podcasts, or even reading because I have a hard time picturing stuff in my head, but DAMN do I love this podcast,,
Also yeah those two have been put through a meat grinder,
The best way I can explain the characters in short detail without spoilers is:
Martin, likes to make tea, cares a little to much and he will most certainly get hurt because of it. He also writes poetry, and has a massive crush on his boss (Jon) and literally has no idea what to do about it. (Jon being completely oblivious to this crush, this is not just headcannons- this is pretty much true, at least from my characterization)
Jon, stuck up librarian type beat, but in actuality he’s a paranoid skeptic who has a martyr complex and proceeds to throw himself into any danger he can without any care. I literally have no clue how he’s survived most of his encounters with creatures, mans just lucky (bonus for Jon, cannon biromantic asexual!, I will never stop talking about this)
Also, thank you so much!! I honestly love the fact that whenever I receive complements on my art it’s always someone sayin they wanna eat it or that it looks edible-
Elsie i see that request slot open yknow i gotta slide in, i adore your writing so damn much
Spy, scout and sniper cuddling headcanons, need more fluff in my life, you can never have enough fluff
Spy, Scout and Sniper Cuddling Headcanons
[Warnings: like, none?]
[AN: Thank you so much love bug!! I love these three characters SO MUCH literally everyone in tf2 is lovable.]
Spy acts like he's above physical affection but we all know that's a big lie lmfao.
He's a bizarre mix of wanting to show extreme PDA and wanting to be weirdly cordial all the same. So, when he is in a cuddly mood, you know. You know.
In the softer moments where it's just the two of you, you'll feel his arms around your waist.
Rests his head on the top of yours, or your shoulder, murmurs French poetry in your word.
Will hang out with you in his smoking room. Please rest your head on his lap!!
He honestly just loves the little things.
Let him sleep on your chest. It's his favorite way of cuddling.
He becomes such a sleepy nerd when he cuddles with you. Your touch is like, a calming agent. Y'know?? He adores you, so so much. You're one of the only people who can make him feel safe.
This man thrives off physical touch.
We all know that. He is ALWAYS cuddling with you. Just holding you, wants to pick you up and never let you go.
You're kind of a security for him?? If he's not feeling it or whatever, just seeing you makes him remember it's going to be okay.
He's like a big dog, holds you, hugs you, smothers you in kisses the entire time.
Says some cheesy things to you lmfao.
Likes to rest his head on your chest and listen to your heartbeat while the two of you read or watch TV or something.
The two of you are big fans of doing your own thing while laying on each other. He'll be listening to Tom Jones and you'll be listening to something else just hanging out.
While cuddling, you must call him by his real name plz. Makes him feel safe and secure.
This man is SO touch starved. Once in a healthy, functioning relationship?? All he wants to do is cuddle with you. He's gonna hold you, kiss you kinda shyly, but you know you're so loved by him.
Honestly a little awkward at first, but it works out y'know, you honestly are more on top of the physical contact that he is.
Takes him a hot minute but he grows to be absolutely infatuated with your touch.
I feel like he's a giant cat?? He'll crawl onto your lap, rest his head on your thighs and take a nap while you work.
You gotta thread your fingers through his hair PLEASE. It might make him purr.
Call him Mundy,,,,,,,, makes him blush.
If you hum while cuddling with him?? he might tear up something about it just makes him feel so at home, so safe, and so secure. He probably whispers mythology to you. Romantic sap.
ok but....... what about cole, poe and scale with a punk s/o............... yknow like dyed hair, piercings, tattoos, that hot stuff
You are so different
in a world full of mindless and listless conformity, you allow yourself to be--- different
to stand out
you’ve turned your body into art
and that art is a statement
you care so deeply for those who are hurting
but you’re not going to be timid about it
in fact, you are right in people’s faces
with a power and a might you scream your causes with every aspect of your being
you are bold, you are divine
and he can’t get enough of it
you’re cut so different from the normal “pretty faces”
you choose divination
you choose loud
you choose passionate
occasionally, you choose to do so violently
at least, your peers do
with their screams of adolescent rage and grungy grimy sounds
and hey what can he say, opposites attract I suppose
in so many ways you’re different from how he is
other than that deep down your angry
you fascinate him
you’re like poetry as a living breathing being
also you’re very cool
he didn’t realize how much of a stuffy dork he must seem like until he met you but
probably too cool for him
but you’re DEFINITELY too cool for anyone else, that’s for sure
so he must follow you like a moth to a flame
and also maybe brush up on some more in style bands
to impress you, of course
loving how the two of you are covering all the edgy alternative lifestyle bases
also loving your piercings
ngl he learned the names of some new piercings from hanging out with you
he also loves how your tattoo’s have turned your body, not just into art, but a STATEMENT
loves how you embrace the different, is inspired by how you strive to be you
tbh you’re by far his biggest muse
his eyes have been opened
also really digging how dressed down and gritty punk can get
it’s like an bold statement, but also you get to wear jeans and a comfy band tee
honestly don’t be surprised if he walks in one day with a new piercing cause of you
also he’s def going to ask you for some tattoo artists’ numbers and your opinion on some designs
tbh he’s never really been all that interested other people’s opinions but he’s found himself desperate for your approval cause you are legit the coolest human being on planet earth to him
also you’ve greatly expanded his repertoire of punk bands and for that he is forever grateful
he’s also very behind the values of the punk movement
be gay, do crime, never let the system forget how broken it is
get in their face but in an artistic way
he’s crushing the hardest he ever has in his LIFE lmao
borrows your clothes, partly cause he loves your style but also for other more sentimental reasons
also might be dying his hair to match yours soon
he’s still not sure
he’s trying hard not to make it super obvious how much he simps for you but like
#1 simp bby, he can’t help it he’s too in love
Legit thinks you’re the fucking coolest
You look like a rogue out of a fantasy game
Loves the spice
Loves the edge
You’re like a dagger but way prettier
You def look like you could kick some ass and he’s here for it
ngl at first the punk vibes caught him off guard since he first met you as a target for your piano recital
but honestly ADORES that y’all started off with you catching him off guard
reminds him to always keep on his feet
low key thinks you might be too cool for him but would never admit it
desperately wants you to think he’s cool too
you know when you get a crush on someone whose just--- they’re too cool! they’re so so cool. way cooler than you could hope to be. and you just feel like such a dork but not cause they make you feel like a dork, they’d never make people feel bad about themselves cause THEY’RE TOO DAMN COOL FOR THAT STUFF. yeah, that’s him with you.
looks up some punk bands to try and keep on your level
is very much into the progressive rebellion, fuck the establishment vibes you got going on
yeah man! tear this place down! fuck da police! lmao
but like--- only if you want to
only if you’d think that’s cool
*blushing nervous sweats*
WANNA SEE HIS DAGGER COLLECTION????
I might’ve taken too much into my own understanding of punk but... ye, here we go!
I would like to think I’m p punk myself, but a) depends on how you slice it and b) I DID make a huge post about dnd classes for the boys so like..... idk what that all says about me but probably something
either way, be gay, do crime, trans rights, black lives matter, fuck the police, listen to rock n roll lmao
could you share Trisha/Hohenheim headcanons please 👉👈
Um, absolutely !!
They met through Pinako at the Annual Sheep Festival. Hohenheim decided to stop by for a visit, and Pinako was at the Festival with Sarah, Yuriy, and Trisha. Hohenheim took one look at Trisha and immediately fell head over heels :')
Trisha was very obvious about her feelings for him, but Hohenheim can't read people to save his life, and his self esteem is so low, he just assumed she'd never like him back. Plus, he thinks he's a monster, so he thinks even if she did like him back, he doesn't deserve her.
When he told Trisha his story, she was silent for a bit and then finally said "Oh. Well, that makes sense." and he was like. Wait, what? and she started listing off all these strange quirks of his that she noticed (talking to himself, bringing up historical events as if he was really there, sometimes using old words/slang no one uses anymore, not knowing his age when asked) and she said "I thought maybe I was just imagining things, but it all makes sense now."
Needless to say he was confused and shocked that she took it so well, but she just shrugged and said "It doesn't bother me. You're still the same man I knew this morning, whether you're 36 or 436."
Hohenheim cried the first time Trisha told him "I love you".
Trisha asks him to teach her Xerxian, and while she isn't fluent in it, she does know a lot and tries to use it around him pretty often.
They enjoy cooking together, and Trisha gets him to teach her how to make some Xerxian dishes.
They also garden together.
Trisha isn't all that interested in Alchemy, but she always listens when Hohenheim starts rambling about it. Likewise, Hohenheim isn't all that interested in the romance novels Trisha reads, but he always listens to her ramblings, and will ask her about the characters, plot, etc.
They tease each other all the time.
Trisha loves to jokingly, and lovingly, call him "old man", which always results in Hohenheim tickling her.
Hohenheim loves making Trisha little flower crowns.
Trisha's never been a big fan of sewing, but she does enjoy sewing Hohenheim little things like scarves or, sometimes, silly little designs on his underwear :3
Trisha loves baking, and bakes for Hohenheim a lot. When she was trying to get him to Get The Hint that she was in love with him, she'd bake little desserts for him all the time. He, of course, was clueless, but always thankful for the sweets.
He's a Real Sap and recites Xerxian and Xingese poetry for Trisha all the time.
Circling back to the romance novels, Hohenheim has read Trisha's favorites, and bought copies of those favorites after he left so he could have a piece of her with him.
Hohenheim has nightmares pretty much every night, and for awhile he was trying to deal with them on his own, because that's what he's always done. But Trisha tells him he doesn't need to suffer in silence anymore, that she's there and she'll do whatever she can to help him through it. Even if that means just holding him. She tells him to wake her up, no matter how late it is, and she'll help him. He hates troubling her with his problems, but eventually brings himself to start waking her up and those hugs really do help.
Hohenheim is a very touch starved man, but he's also terrified of touching his loved ones. Fortunately, Trisha is really good at reading him, and is able to pick up on when he wants affection, but is too afraid to initiate it. She makes the first move pretty often.
Trisha is a morning person, Hohenheim is not. He always grumbles about her not being in their bed when he wakes up, and tries to get her to sleep in but unfortunately She Cannot.
Trisha was Hohenheim's first kiss (and, yknow, first love... first everything :))
Trisha loves running her hands through Hohenheim's hair. It's just so soft :3
I also think she'd be devastated if he ever cut it. Or shaved.
Trisha loves Hohenheim's butt. It's a cute butt.
Okay sorry I have to stop here, I didn't realize how much I wrote but anyway I love them So Much !!!!!
I LEARNED COOL STUFF ABOUT IRL TACHIHARA MICHIZOU SO I WILL NOW SHARE IT
also this was very long so here's some paragraphs and there's more under the cut + pictures
a lot of Tachihara's works and philosophies center around the balance/imbalance between Nature and Urbanism(Intelligence). Reason and Emotion.
He was an architect and was trying to understand how to implement Nature into his designs, or if they could coexist at all. One thing he says is that a building in ruins is the only way Architecture can be in balance with Nature. He believed Nature is, yknow, the natural way of being. He saw Nature as "God". But he also knew architecture/human innovation in general was important and couldn't be avoided. He struggled a lot with trying to support both of these concepts at the same time.
He also thought the best way for a person to be was both Reasonable and Emotional (and able to create. he said the best human is one who thinks with their hands, instead of just their head or their heart). But Tachihara thought of himself as too reasonable, but wanted to connect more with his emotions because he thought his Reason limited his art.
Tachihara used a myth to explain his feelings, but before I talk about that, let me bring back something. On BSD Tachihara's character sheet, his two listed likes are "pencils" and "hyacinths". I figured him liking pencils is a reference to the real Tachihara's art and architecture design. But I didn't know what the hyacinth was referencing, past it's symbolism according to google. But now I know :D
The real Tachihara Michizou said he felt like "the man in the middle" or the "Hyacinthus". In Greek myths, Hyacinthus was loved by Apollo, but killed by Apollo because he was loved by another person(or loved another person, myths are hard to get a consistent story on). Tachihara thought of Apollo as Reason, and the other person as Emotion. And Tachihara was caught in the middle of them. He was loved by Reason but killed by Reason, and could never really ally himself with Emotion.
So let's get into how this connects to the lil anime character. The main source of conflict for BSD Tachihara is his struggle to choose between the Mafia and the Hunting Dogs. He feels kind of like a middle man, stuck in-between them. Valuing both but not being able to have both at the same time.
I think the The Hunting Dogs represent the Reason/Urbanism to Tachihara and the Port Mafia represent the Emotion/Nature to him. The Hunting Dogs, specifically Fukuchi, love Tachihara. Or at least I get the impression Fukuchi cared for him. But, still, he killed him. Severally wounded him? idk but it didn't go well. The Hunting Dogs, the government, are the reasonable option for Tachihara. But then there's the Port Mafia. Tachihara also feels drawn to them, and wants to be a part of them, and wishes he was closer to them. I think it's implied they feel more natural to him, he feels more himself despite the secret identity. But wether Tachihara can't ever truly reconnect with the PM, or if he just feels like he can't, I don't know. I hope he can.
There's unfortunately very little about the real Tachihara Michizou out there, and least on English websites. I couldn't find almost any his art pieces or structure designs or essays. I can only find his poems translated by some people on Reddit. That being said, they are great poems. I often has trouble connecting with other people's poetry and understanding it enough, but a lot of his poems really resonate with me. They're very nature focused and paint very beautiful and melancholy pictures. I highly recommend them, honestly. I wish there was more about him out there, but what I've learned is very interesting.
Can't wait to see this fucker animated in season 4✌️
here's some art pieces Tachihara made, an expert from his letter talking about the Hyacinthus metaphor, and a link to the article I got most of this information from
The Article (pretty fancy wording but if you stick with it i think you can pull put the main topics and points)
PLUS! Some Tachihara poems I recommend!
In Gathering Gloom
To the wind/Song of the Wind
For the character ask, could you please do Faramir?
thank you!! also asked by @thorinsbeard and @mumble-muse hehe I'm glad I've made my faramir love clear :')
favorite thing about them: WHERE TO START. BIG BRAIN BIG HEART BIG B- (this is sounding a lot like what I wrote about lancelot lmao). he's so smart and passionate and he's a loved and respected captain of his people and everyone in gondor is in love with him and he can??? read minds kind of?????? he's a beautiful black-haired king and he will tell his dad he's a dumb bitch to his face to protect his own pride and he'll stick to his stupidly noble guns even if it kills him and he's just. god. gandalf loves and respects him so much. so does beregond. so do all his men, all his citizens. god I'm back where i started but that scene where he arrives at minas tirith and the whole city is chanting his name as he goes through like he's a rockstar and pippin is swept up in the atmosphere and starts screaming his name too even though he hasn't met him yet because he knows this is a man who is incredible just from the way he's received. yeah that lives in my head rent-free
least favorite thing about them: the way he speaks to sam at henneth annun >:( also the way the film depicts him as a meow meow / simp lmao book faramir would eat film faramir for breakfast
favorite line: yeah i love only that which they defend and yeah do not scorn pity that is the gift of a gentle heart eowyn etc etc everything my guy says is poetry but.... this passage makes me scream
AND WHOSE FAULT IS THAT???? film faramir gets so sad here but book faramir gets angry lmaooooo
brOTP: faramir + pippin + gandalf. also wish we got to learn more about him and boromir. ALSO i think he'd have a lot in common with elrond and i think it'd be really interesting to see how they'd interact when elrond came to minas tirith!!!!!
OTP: faramir and eowyn!!!!!!!!!! the most couple ever!!!!
random headcanon: kinda touched on this in my answer for eowyn but I think he'd be really interested in documenting rohan's orally told folklore and history. also bet he's the kinda period drama guy who stares wistfully into the distance at inopportune moments and talks about the splendour of numenor or smth and eowyn is like?? babe you have never been there????? also he likes growing herbs and flowers and healing plants and eowyn likes growing fruit and veg
unpopular opinion: it would've been really funny if aragorn died and faramir became the steward and they decided, either because there's no point waiting around for another heir to the throne or because faramir also gives off kingly numenorian vibes, to crown faramir as high king of gondor and arnor... so funny... haha unless......
also yknow those 'memes' about how pathetic faramir is and how much denethor hates him? yeah not a fan @pj fight me in the lidl bakery for what you've inadvertently caused
favorite picture of them:
https://southfarthing.tumblr.com/post/670396306073731072/ lmaooooo also that shot of faramir in two towers in henneth annun looking over that map 😍
for jack or davey, whoever you choose!
∇ -. old age/aging headcanon
☯ - likes/dislikes headcanon
Why not both
Jack already had a bad memory when he was young, and as he gets older he is even MORE confused. Consistently. He will forget everything everywhere
“Where are my glasses?” On your face
He loves to tell stories and gets so excited when someone asks him about one of them
He’s very tamed down compared to what he used to be like, and ends up more on the quiet side. More of a listener then a talker unless he’s prompted
I feel like Davey would be one of those people with a cat when he got older, and then he’d name him some big long word that just sounds fancy
His cat is his best friend. Whatever s/o he has is second place
Also pretty tame, but he’s learned to let loose compared to how wound up and cautious he was when he was younger
AKA Davey can say fuck now
Jack hates carrots with a burning passion. He will go out of his way to pick them out of a salad
He absolutely loves old rock music. It’s really nostalgic for him
He’s very sentimental and likes to keep as many photos and videos as he can. He probably hasn’t gone through and deleted something from his camera roll in months
Yknow how some forks are longer and some are shorter? Jack hates long forks. Will not use the long forks. Short forks are the best.
Davey barely passed the majority of his math classes. He hates math. He is not a stem guy
He loves to write, but he leans towards poetry the most. He likes to read and write his own little thoughts and feelings through the passages and what he feels about the characters, but creative writing in terms of stories just isn’t something he gravitates towards
Ask him about true crime. He will rant for hours. This man loves true crime
Here are some of the alters!! I left out Bugz since I wanna protect him yknow and a few others since I didn’t want this to be too long- HDHDGDG
TW: brief mentions of ab*se, r*pe, depression, threats, and such, though it’s just the words and not in-depth
Positive triggers: Ghost and pals, kokichi, baking, jasper, bugs
Negative triggers: unknown
Additional notes: idk it's me
Positive triggers: maretu, kuromi
Negative triggers: conflict, emotional distress, 3m1ly
Additional notes: acts similar to norman, switches in very often. Also kinda competitive.
Age: unknown, but over 18
Role: sexual protector
Positive triggers: kuromi, marina and the diamonds, sexy time
Negative triggers: r4pe
Additional notes: huge switch, big flirt, kinda an asshole but in a fun silly girl™️ kinda way.
Age: unknown but adult, very old
Role: gatekeeper/nytra caretaker
Positive triggers: wisteria, kasanti, tea, newspaper
Negative triggers: unorganization
Additional notes: melrai actually has two heads, and he is a cat man. Strong relationship with kasanti. Gentleman.
Age: unknown, created around time of melrai
Positive triggers: cats, furries, forests
Negative triggers: unknown
Additional notes: she's pretty much a skeletal anthro feline. Does Not front often, newer. Takes care of children.
Age: no age, god-like
Role: trauma holder and caretaker of certain alters
Positive triggers: kasanti
Negative triggers: extremely violent situations
Additional notes: oldest alter, god like creature, “god” of kasanti, very little emotions if any.
Role: primary caretaker
Positive triggers: baking, children, piano, poetry
Negative triggers: child abuse, ddlc
Additional notes: motherly kind role, not very similar to source other than interests and appearance. Very kind.
Role: trauma holder
Positive triggers: maretu, ghost and pals
Negative triggers: blame, s//h, su1c1de, final duet, guilt
Additional notes: very depressed, may be based off of OMORI, but is not him. Doesn't like speaking very much and is learning ASL. He also has a typing quirk.
Positive triggers: parties, basketball, dumb jokes
Negative triggers: yelling, some parts of omori, mari
Additional notes: chill, fun loving dude. He does tend to have depressive episodes very occasionally, but can be helped by friendly comfort.
Positive triggers: artwork, comfort, danganronpa
Negative triggers: 3m1ly, humiliation
Source: Danganronpa 2
Additional notes: Does Not front too often, but he still does. He likes tea parties. Likes making chaotic decisions.
Age: late 20’s??
Positive triggers: gardening, snails, walks in woods
Negative triggers: out of control situations
Additional notes: very caring and calm, loves gardening, especially parsnips.
Role: persecutor/ trauma holder
Positive triggers: sanrio core but in the chaotic way
Negative triggers: not sure
Additional notes: Formed off of 3m1ly, very violent towards other members and blames Norman especially for the entire incident. Manipulative.
Positive triggers: memes, gaming, chattering lack of common sense
Negative triggers: being hurt, having to run from something
Additional notes: little bastard but we love him, likes pulling pranks and refers to himself as an epic gamer. Also refuses to wear shoes. He isn't quite human and has enhanced senses.
canon c!wilbur, especially in the l'manberg days: literally overflowing with worry and affection for his friends and family to the point that c!fundy described him as overprotective, constantly using endearments and pet names, blew up his country because he couldn't bear that it had been used to hurt people he cared about-
half the fandom, somehow: evil. evil little man. soulless and mean and bad. worse than dream. vilbur.
I want to make it clear that wilbur Did do some fucked up shit, and he was cruel at times, whether that was lashing out or because of mental health issues, or for the best in his mind, etc. as much as I love him he had the capacity to be very mean at times, and he repressed a lot of his true feelings and love for those around him at times.
(just a psa not really directed at anon because I feel the need to emphasize that I don't think c!wilbur is just 'baby' and soft and just misunderstood, because No he did some bad things yknow)
I love him so very much because he over flows with care at any given moment and is always vehemently trying to deny it. he's a dork who calls people darlings and recites poetry and does one (1) morally gray thing and has a crisis over it. I car e him
others were never really patient with her form of amusement.
zhongli, the funeral consultant who always seemed like something greater, had never been patient with her. qiqi has never been fond of her attempts to return her to eternal rest. the exorcist chongyun has always been irritated with her. xiangling remains annoyed by her pranks, even if she harbors no ill will towards her. one of the few people who can tolerate her, adeptus xiao, shows no interest in actually establishing a relationship with her (or being kind, but hu tao would never say that. she doesn't need the ill will of the adepti directed at her!).
but you? you had never looked at her with distaste or annoyance. so... why are you starting now?
hu tao isn't foolish. she knows when it started. she just doesn't understand how you fell from her fingertips. she treated you as gently as she treats the flower she sticks in her hat, trying to cultivate your love with care. hu tao wasn't the perfect lover, but she certainly tried her best. she even wrote you poetry of her own creation, even if the words were childish.
a silk flower sits beneath a tree.
right next to it, you and me!
hand in hand, like we always do.
never forget, quill, i love you!
hu tao would say the poem incessantly in a playful, sing-song tone, yet a faint hint of seriousness would be behind her words. after all, they were woven from the words of truth. they still are, even if your heart belong to someone else the moment the crux returned to liyue. kaedehara kazuha and you met at the wangsheng funeral parlor of all places, where he had smiled at you so softly and spoken to you with such sweetness.
you had grown distant from hu tao and closer to the inazuman outcast. hu tao watched as you grew attached to him, despite being committed to her. she watched as you betrayed her before her eyes, offering her a half-hearted apology as you returned everything she gave you. you didn't mean it. you weren't sorry. you had used hu tao for everything she was worth than left once a better option came along. kazuha ignites the stars in your eyes.
and for hu tao? she's left to deal with the corpse of your love. despite her experience with death, she doesn't quite know how to put these feelings to rest. you betrayed her, yet she loves you. if you were to return, she would take you back in her arms.
"overseer," a voice interrupts hu tao's spiraling thoughts as she stands in the lobby of the wangsheng funeral parlor. "are you alright?"
it's the familiar voice of zhongli. she knows he cannot stand her, yet he's also kind enough to inquire whenever he sees anguish. is she that pathetic that she requires his assistance.
"just peachy! i'm doing quite well, actua-" hu tao begins, but her voice cracks on the final syllable. tears well up in her eyes and she pauses, not wanting to make a pathetic display of herself in front of her underling. but the honeyed gaze of zhongli is too much. it reads her entirely. he knows. he knows you left. he wouldn't look at her with such a pitying gaze otherwise.
the consultant steps forward and envelops her smaller frame in a hug. it is comforting, despite the rift that exists between him. hu tao can't stop herself as a sob breaks out of her. no words exit her lips, only broken cries.
"a true lover would not break the unspoken contract of a relationship," zhongli advises, but hu tao shakes her head. her hands scrabble to get a grip on his back, hugging him close and desperately as she unprofessionally breaks down.
"i don't want a true lover, i want quill," she cries. zhongli remains steady, holding her close. she cannot see his face as she buries her head into the expensive fabric of his coat. is he disappointed in her? annoyed? angry? she doesn't know.
she ruins her relationships with everyone. she couldn't even keep you. what's another bridge burnt? zhongli will keep returning anyways. he needs a paycheck.
yet, she can't see the solemn expression that crosses his face. it's one of understanding. even if he still had his gnosis, there are some wishes that an archon cannot grant. humanity are fickle creatures. their emotions are untamed and their whims are difficult to understand. but, for now, zhongli is knowledgeable enough to know that hu tao needs a friend as she heals from the wounds that you inflicted on her.
so, he stands with her as she sobs in the halls of the wangsheng funeral parlor, the same place you met the man that you left her for.
can some archon please give me the strength i need to get through this ebg week 😭😭😭
yes i love kazuha he completely bewitched me and stole my heart from whoever had it prior to this,,, just kidding i have always loved kazuha with my entire soul and being haha idk why some funeral parlour owner is sad abt me haha
wow kazuha is looking So pretty today right 😄😄😄 also axia idk if ur ask got attacked by tumblr but its so blurry for some reason :/// might be bc im looking at it through tears though BUT OFC i am crying bc kazuhas beautiful poetry brought me to tears no other reason like angst of a specific person yknow
shoutout to zhongli for being there for his friends ig 😕 he's a real one unlike some mutual named axia purposefully trying to hurt me 🙄
IM NOT GIVING YOU MY NEXT STRIKE YOU AREN'T GOING TO MAKE ME LOSE
Jay bonding headcanons bc I need something wholesome
I might do the others depending on my mood
video games and/or pop culture always
They always get each other new video games or new Fritz Donnegan comics for birthdays and such
When these two are hanging out, they sit on the couch and eat candy and snipe each other in whatever game they're playing
It's mostly friendly, but I'd be lying if I said they haven't intentionally sparred towards each other during training sessions as revenge for killing each other
hanging out and doing stupid stuff together
Two idiots, half a brain cell
No impulse control whatsoever
Sometimes Nya joins them in the chaos, sometimes she watches them be stupid from afar
one time Jay made the mistake of challenging Kai to a pepper eating contest so they went to Skylor’s restaurant and made it a fund raiser and they reached ghost pepper stage and Jay cried
Kai literally burst into flames at one point and Skylor sprayed him with the fire extinguisher
someone caught a video of it and it went viral
that’s not the point though
Jay+Kai=chaos and destruction
they cook together!!
remember when Jay is like “i dabble in inventing, model building, poetry, cooking, etc. etc.” therefore Jay can cook and I dub that he and Zane cook together
they nerd out together
also they like drawing blueprints for stuff together
sometimes Pixal joins them
idk man Zane and Jay just vibe together yknow
since these two are THE best friends they are so chaotic together, not quite as bad as Jay and Kai since Cole things things through a little bit more
not much though, Jay removes 96% of his impulse control
see: “ket’s run at each other and see if the time blade stops us!!”
they like sparring against each other
WALKING IN ON EACH OTHER AT 2 IN THE MORNING FOR NO REASON
Jay, walking into Cole’s room in the middle of the night after finishing a Fritz Donnegan comic, laying down on the floor: what is the meaning of life
Cole, tired of Jay doing this: which character died
Cole, exactly 24 hours later after embarrassing himself in front of Vania: why do we even exist
Jay, tired of Cole doing this: what did you do this time
literally these two are inseparable but they’re also super chaotic and whenever these two are gone everyone else has to prepare themselves for when they get back and inevitably have a problem coming with them
WELL since these two are ~perfect~ for each other, on occasion they’ll do this thing where they have a conversation without saying anything out loud and then Jay will just yell “a golden retriever could TOTALLY beat asparagus in a fight?????” and everyone is just super confused
They love building stuff together since Jay mainly designs the machines and Nya mainly constructs them they work together in perfect harmony and it's a good way for them to get on the same wavelength
I mean we know they dance and go to the arcade together and stuff
Romance stuff aside they love just talking and being together and stuff
Like Kai walks into their room at 3 am and Nya and Jay are lying on the floor talking and Kai just stares at them and walks out
Talking about skybound and processing
Yes they are yin and yang, but I think ppl forget that before they were a couple they were good friends
They build together
No, seriously, they like designing (and building) stuff together
Pixal uses his electricity for convenience way too often
"Jay can you charge my mech"
"Jay can you hold this" *hands him power cable*
She uses him as an outlet
On the other side, he comes to her when he has a question for/about Zane or when he needs advice on stuff he's too embarrassed to ask the others about
He asks her questions about girls/dating advice since Pixane is wholesome and wonderful
"aren't you dating nya?? Shouldn't you know what to do for an anniversary by now??"
"JUST CUZ IM WITH NYA DOESN'T MEAN I KNOW HOW, NOW WILL YOU HELP ME PICK A FLOWER COLOR OR NOT"
"You are aware that I've only been a girl for like 5 years"
"That's longer than me"
Literally tho, Jay is the biggest Pixane shipper ever. No I do not take criticism
Wholesome bean + gamer nerd = lots of fun relationships
4 18 38? :)
4 How do you choose which fics to write?
im not sure i choose? i think its like... if i can get a solid outline for the whole fic, ill try it out. i dont rlly try to write fic that i think will turn out Super super long, bc i MUCH prefer oneshots, but if i think ive got a solid oneshot ill try it. theres a lot of VERY brief unfinished onehsots in my notes app
18 Do you enjoy research? Which fic of yours required the most research?
...i love research but only super stupid research. this weekend i wrote abt a guy with a metal hand snapping to punctuate smth he was saying and thought "wait, CAN you snap with a metal hand?" and spent like 20 minutes researching it. the answer was "it depends on how articulate the fingers are and also it wont make a real snapping noise, itll just be metal hitting metal." i ignored this information and kept the scene as is. the man's other hand was normal flesh and blood and i could have switched to have him snap with his other hand at any point in time
38 What is your most self-indulgent posted story?
i feel like any good writing is self indulgent? thats what makes it fun! all your writing should be self indulgent!
...that said. im not sure if this counts for self-indulgence, but i do remember thinking of the idea for "if it rhymes, it's true, but i hate poetry" and deciding "no, i wont write that, that requires too much emotional honesty of me"
and then, yknow. i wrote it anyway, several months later