#man i've given eva those for a long ass while i can't even rember when i started. i give some to peter too for the same reasons | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

meirimerens · 5 months

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I've only now noticed Eva Yan's scars on your drawings of her, is there any story or headcanon behind them?

keeping it real babygirl [gender neutral] the story is that this woman canonically kills herself, canonically contemplates suicide, quite explicitly mentioning the method she intents on using to you (with implications that she has, at the very least, thought about it/thought it through before), and lives with broken mirrors so she cannot (/doesn't have to) see her face like i just think She Is Mentally Unwell. like as a long-term, enduring, persistent thing, She Is Mentally Unwell and the plague is just worsening her condition, while it didn't cause it. the storey/headcanon is that she is mentally ill, openly and canonically has self-destructive tendencies, so. the scars are here because she lives with a lil something something in her mind which drives her to plenty of destructive acts in ways big and small. ywkim

#like when i jokingly and lovingly called her a ''mentally ill bisexuelle''. i wasn't joking. ykwim #man i've given eva those for a long ass while i can't even rember when i started. i give some to peter too for the same reasons #(except he doesn't succeed in killing himself. but he does try.) but like. he has long sleeves & pants when i post him on here so. elusive #suicide /#self-harm /#what's that diagram showing how the closest you are to dankovsky the more suicidal you are. as someone who's been there #i can reclaim chuckling about it #ring ring (answers)#anonymous #& even if she doesn't die in my mind [bc she doesn't in every route] well. she still has those. she lives through them; and then with them #and lives on. you know. real recovereds will get this etc you get the jist #this is equal part story and headcanon on that one but there's also this pattern that eva throws her whole body into destruction. ykwim.#the way she kills herself is fullbody; entire physical body out of a window; it's not like how she first mentions it to dankovsky #it's a complete and utter destruction [which is not destruction *to her*; because; well we see how it ends]#it's also easy to see how her constant seeking of companionship; her sudden infatuations for a stranger and her offerings of companionship #can also be read as her ''throwing her whole body'' into it [here; into something that; maybe; can ''fill a void'' left by her spiritual #emptiness. so in the spirit of ''putting her whole body'' into destruction/into trying to fill an intangible void left by emptiness and fel #well. scars and the act make sense to me at least. because there is that attempt to exteriorize an inner suffering with acts like those

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