#made everything 100% more awkward actually
Text
I made a list of Halsin facts for my own entertainment a while back but forgot to post it. Dunno if anyone would find this interesting but in case here it is, enjoy~ o/
ACT1
-He writes in tight scribbles, smokes the pipe and loves reading (likely non-fiction). He’s the studious sort, considering his unprompted interest in the parasites and his hunger for knowledge. This aspect of him was more defined in Early Access but sadly got lost during full release. It also briefly comes up during one of his banters in later chapters.
-He rarely drinks: he’s a lightweight and gets overly affectionate when drunk. He also sings when drunk. Badly, per his word.
-Is an actual Disney princess (he has birds scouting and reporting back to him).
-He has a strong sense of duty, so much so he will stop paying attention to other aspects of his life in the pursuit of it. At least in one instance, this has been depicted as a flaw (when he abandons the grove looking for the Nightsong).
-He enjoys spending time in his bear form, and appears to have been the main caretaker for the bears in the grove. Ormn in particular acts heartbroken that Halsin is missing.
-When given the chance, he’s eager to give up his position as archdruid, as he felt it was too draining and confining. Despite his insecurities in his ability as a leader, he’s more shrewd and wise than he lets on: he can play politics when necessary. And people around him have been more than happy to rely on him. He cares about those under his protection. A lot. “The grove is everything to me”.
-He doesn’t shy away from violence when provoked.
-He feels responsible for the shadow curse, and is compelled by the need to fix everything.
-This is a relic from Early Access but you’ll have to pry it from my cold dead hands: in the grove there used to be a fanfic titled “Shadow’s Kiss” written by the druid Roan that featured a certain “Balsin”. At the end of it a written entry by Halsin would threaten to feed Roan to Ormn if he ever saw the name “Balsin” again.
ACT2
-He likes open spaces, reading and whittling utensils and ornaments (ducks in particular). He’s got a sweet tooth and a fondness for honey. He finds it hurtful when he's made fun of for his interests: he admits people tend to underestimate his sensitivity.
-He’s a very religious man and invokes Silvanus any chance he gets. Even so he doesn’t believe in blind faith and chides Shadowheart for not questioning Shar’s teachings.
-He’s 350 years old.
-He has no mercy for goblins, to the point where he disapproves if you spare them in Moonrise. A bit funny, considering there’s a banter later on with Karlach where he insists that “mercy costs us nothing”.
-His scars were caused by a bear who didn’t appreciate being spurned during mating season.
-He’s a veteran who served in the battle against Ketheric Thorm in Reithwin, where eventually the druids and Harpers won. At the time he was likely second to the archdruid that led him into battle. When the shadow curse started spreading, said archdruid died, leaving Halsin in charge. He immediately evacuated the survivors. He still feels guilty for not being able to help more that day. From one of his party banters it’s clear Halsin suffers from survivor’s guilt. He’s lost many friends to the curse, so many in fact that “it would take a day and a night to recite the names of the fallen”.
-Considering how obsessed he’s been with the curse ravaging the land for the past 100 years, it’s unlikely he had any intimate connections during this period of time. He also claims that more good has been done since meeting Tav than in the 100 years before their meeting.
-His family is dead and buried at the foot of the Grandfather Tree in High Forest.
-He seems used to changing environments and affiliations. Once recruited, he’s quick to call Tav his new family.
-He remains polite in the face of scorn and ridicule. Right when he joins if you suggest all he’s good for is cleaning camp he responds with an awkward chuckle and a “wherever you need me”. Later in Act 3 his affections can be brusquely turned down by comparing him to a deep rothé, to which he calmly responds “a simple no would have sufficed”.
-As a child he befriended Thaniel, a spirit of nature, and ever since then he felt a higher calling. Thaniel appears to be as fond of Halsin as Halsin is of Thaniel, mentioning him often to Fist Art Cullagh during their imprisonment in the Shadowfell.
-He is the only expert of shadow curse alive, and if killed in Act 1 the curse cannot be lifted.
ACT3
-He believes himself, or at the very least aims to be, a protector. Any failure (or perceived failure) in fulfilling said role leads him to spirals of self doubt and insecurity. His self worth is heavily dependent on how useful he can be, and without a big purpose or mission to fulfill, he appears lost. In the same vein he seems incapable of staying still and relax, he always needs something to focus on.
-In true druid spirit, he considers cities to be intruding on nature’s realm. On his arrival to Baldur’s Gate, he's appalled and disgusted by the class inequality encountered in the city. He’s disturbed by the suffering of children, in particular.
-When called naive for his dream of a better future he mentions he gave up cynicism when he was 200 years old.
-He’s all for heckling Dribbles’ corny jokes.
-He sees his body as a vessel and his physical prowess as a tool. He takes no pride in it.
-He admits that he didn’t realize how much his responsibilities had been weighting on him until Tav showed up and took that burden away.
-He’s polyamorous, and pretty lax when it comes to sex and relationships: he has no qualms in taking pleasure where “desire finds purchase”. He mentions that he had many lovers in the past and that his heart doesn’t stir lightly. This might imply he’s laid with many, but cared for few. He also doesn’t appear thrilled by the prospect of marriage/tying yourself forever to someone. For a man so against putting a relationship into words, he acts incredibly smitten when romanced and showers his partner in all kinds of sweet praises.
-He’s so attuned to his wildshape that he tends to lose control of his transformations when overcome by strong emotions (i.e. anger, arousal). He appears embarrassed when this accidentally happens in an intimate situation. He does enjoy wildshape during intercourse though, as he even proposes it himself during an interaction with Shadowheart. Per his word, he doesn’t discriminate against any type: in an interaction with Lae'zel he implies he slept with a chimera.
-He considers lust to be the most essential of impulses and feels it’s only natural to be guided by it.
-He’s travelled far and wide. Where we do not know, unfortunately. He mentions he’s been to the Underdark many times and possibly the Nelanther Isles. In his youth he ventured into the Underdark to sate his own wanderlust, where he got captured, enslaved and sexually abused by drows for 3 years.
-He’s self aware of his obsession with nature. When Jaheira warns him not to fall into druid stereotypes, he comments that he does think about other topics such as high art and politics, but to him nothing compares to a tree.
-When speaking of his past, he comments that people seem to focus on the more “salacious chapters” and disregard his years of study. When confronted about it, he seems perfectly content with a life spent studying, meditating, counselling, fighting, training and fucking.
-He used to hibernate as a bear and mentions he spent at least 100 years of his life sleeping. It’s unclear if he’s still in the habit.
-At the end of the campaign he sets out to create a new community in Reithwin with the victims of war and refugees that were turned away from the city. The children of this soon-to-be-founded community refer to him as “daddy Halsin”.
-He considers himself an exceedingly patient man.
#baldur's gate 3#bg3#halsin#bg3 spoilers#long post#brainrot be real#i might have missed stuff#but i tried to be as thorough as i could#if you want confirmation feel free to ask
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
every—lesser known—canon fact about Levi Ackerman.
infamously over the years, there have been countless false rumors about Levi in particular out of the cast. many of them have become popular, even ubiquitous, and it's annoying!
and also disheartening when you find out it's not true....
and hurtful when you realize it was - sometimes - made up by trolls.
so i'm making this post<3
credit to @levisfavoriteacup for the idea!!
*disclaimer: i'm not perfect, so this may not be Everything™️ but I am confident that it's the majority of information available, and that it's trustworthy. :)
First the most populars. There is no evidence across interviews nor other content over the years that:
Levi is ugly, and is considered ugly in AOT.
Nope. See here: (tumblr link), or:
Isayama finished his first sketch of Levi mostly on a whim, but the moment he drew his face, he had a sense it would work well / he knew he had something good. Something told him: "the yaoi fangirls are going to like this one".
As time passed and his popularity grew, Isayama caught onto this and wanted to portray him more attractively (in multiple ways) to the viewer/reader.
But from the beginning, this was something of the goal. He is short because Isayama had in mind what young women/fangirls in Japan consider attractive: a man with a higher-pitch voice; has a small face; and who is "short but strong".
In the world of AOT, he (in a nutshell) is mostly considered plain or awkward, but combined with his reputation and style, he's very charming. "He cleans up nice." Overall, it is positive :) But more importantly, realistic I think.
He's also something of a celebrity. People who advertise their product as being used by him are more successful; when he's seen in a shop, this by itself is considered "advertising" and more people come in. Quote: ""the tea that the hero bought”".
He's definitely not a 2/10 at any rate😇.
—the 24th episode of Naoki Yoshida's Anime Plan, 2013 / Interview with Frau Magazine, 2013 | Hajime Isayama x Hikaru Suruga (2014) | AU Smartpass - Erwin & Levi Close Up Interview Part 1 | Taking shelter from the rain reprise: Levi and Peaure
Levi’s type would be someone who’s "tough, feminine and sensual".
Levi's type "might" be tall people. But context matters, because in multiple translations "don't you think?" and "might be" are thrown around a lot. Isayama isn't known for his clarity. When asked, he practically said the question right back.
—fan Q&A from a festival in Betsumaga, Aug.2014
What this quote might have come from is a statement by the author of an article Isayama was likely involved in. I can't say this is 100% canon, but in my opinion it's a little less canon than the Smartpass AUs; if those are sub-canon, then this is sub-sub-canon:
Levi's romantic type is someone who walks three steps behind him, and likes cleaning.
In the past, in Japanese culture, for a wife to walk three steps behind her husband implied highly traditional gender roles. What this is much more likely to mean is that Levi's romantic type is someone who will let him protect them, or will run away and survive even if it costs his life. (And they have to like cleaning.)
—the article is from 2013, and no longer exists. but the link was used as recently as 2021 as a source in this post by a reliable translator. I've found this quote also in varying qualities of translation across Japanese and English forums, so to the best of my knowledge, it's reliable.
Levi's cravat is a piece of his mother's dress + he was wearing her dress when Kenny found him.
This is a popular rumor that Isayama has never confirmed (i think it is true, tho.)
December 25th was chosen by his comrades because he doesn't know his actual birthday.
The guidebook only states that it is his birthday. I can't find any more context on this.
—AOT Guidebook; p.256
His character profile:
—AOT Guidebook; p.78–79
His name is Hebrew, and means "attached" or to be "joined".
Isayama came up with Levi's name after watching American documentary "Jesus Camp". (It's about a summer camp-type program where evangelical Christian children are taught extreme beliefs. One of the children was named Levi.) Isayama heard it and thought it sounded cool.
—Hajime Isayama x Hikaru Suruga (2014) | 2010 blogpost by Isayama
Levi is in his early 30s (in s3/RtS/volume 19).
–Interview, Universal Studios Japan’s SNK THE REAL exhibition, 2016 | confirmation
If Kuchel was still alive, Levi would want to make sure she had an easy life. This means specifically filial piety, a concept exclusive to the East: he would fulfill his duties as a son for her.
(tldr he's a mama's boy :3)
—Bessatsu Magazine, 2019
Levi would have thin facial hair, but he prefers not to, so he shaves frequently.
—January 2020 issue of Bessatsu Magazine (chapter 124)
He doesn't like coffee milk or coffee jelly. They're out of the question even.🤐
—July 2018 issue of Bessatsu Magazine (chapter 106)
He just gets depressed when he drinks coffee. Maybe he loves tea that much?
He stopped calling Hange names like 'shitty glasses' since they became commander because he "seems" to respect their position that much.
However, a Smartpass story delves deeper into this (and states as I suspected):
[After Hange makes a joke] "Since becoming the commander succeeding Erwin, they’d toned down on their past speech and behaviour that had a touch of tomfoolery; Levi understanding that they were nevertheless trying to maintain the self “that was the case then”, also loses the will to curse at them."
+
"In the past, Hange had a Hange-type dream, and should have been progressing to that purpose. That lately, was it the weight of the office of commander, or was it due to the reality that is “all the world was our enemy”, their manner had changed considerably."
—May 2017 issue of Bessatsu Magazine (chapter 92) | Goodnight. Sweet dreams, dear. Act II: Levi
If he and Kenny had fought one-on-one, Levi would've won.
—December 2016 issue of Bessatsu Magazine (chapter 87)
intermission: all about tea
His favorite "food" is black tea. No actual food.
He doesn't add sugar or milk to his tea because he considers it too expensive—which it is canonically. Despite this, he will share his tea with his comrades (his original squad as far as is seen).
Even though he's Captain, he'd rather drink it straight (the implications of which are he's a hardworking man, like that of a farmer. aka, this makes him seem humble).
If a time of peace ever came, Levi wants to open a black tea shop (he said in a dreamlike way, not so much based in reality).
He also knows a good amount of facts and history about it. He's a tea enthusiast!!
Levi receives pilfered tea in shipments monthly, thanks to Erwin.
—AU Smartpass - Erwin & Levi Close Up Interview Part 2 | Part 1 | Taking shelter from the rain reprise: Levi and Peaure | Bessatsu Magazine, Jan.2014 | September 2016 issue of Bessatsu Magazine (chapter 84) | AU Smartpass My First Time Around: Levi Ackerman | The Case of the Corps Tea Party - File No. 09 Levi's Side (3/3) | sugar and milk in tea from the Japanese perspective
Levi, out of his original squad, found Petra cute/sweet in the general sense of the word "kawaii".
Like Levi's romantic type however, this was sort of a non-answer to the question (of whether Levi thought she was cute).
—2014 interview
After RtS, Levi seems to consider Hange and the 104th his family.
—AU Smartpass My First Time Around: Levi Ackerman
He wears a cravat because Isayama based part of his design off Rorschach from the movie 'Watchmen'.
He looks "delicate" because of his size and weight, but he's so powerful because [in issues before the reveal of the Ackerman bloodline] of "invisible power" at work.
—January 2016 issue of Bessatsu Magazine (chapter 76)
The best way to describe the way he thinks is to compare him to the main character from the movie The Hurt Locker (2008).
His character was born from Hiei from the manga 'Yuyu Hakusho', and Rorschach from the movie 'Watchmen'. The former was the basis for his appearance (especially his eyes), and the latter was the basis for his personality. Firstly though, Isayama had an image of a small man being the strongest.
—Hajime Isayama x Hikaru Suruga (2014) / Brutus Magazine (2014)
He is something of a protagonist (especially in s3p1).
— Animedia, June 2018
His favorite tool (in general...?) is microfiber cloths (for dust I guess. Levi has no need for weapons :3)
—July 2015 issue of Bessatsu Magazine
He will usually laugh/smile when he sees convenient cleaning goods (i.e., vacuum cleaners? feather dusters? ((cuz he's a shorty?❤️))
—Bessatsu Magazine, Dec. 2013
He does want to be taller sometimes.
He gets eager to clean up after meals rather than cook at all. He can cook, though.
—Bessatsu Magazine, Aug.2014 | fan Q&A in Oyama, Oita, Mar.2018
Levi mostly couldn't adapt to the changes that came about after the truth was discovered. Only he wears mostly the same uniform, cape, and blades.
After RtS, Levi personally retrieved Erwin's remains himself, for whom there was a special memorial service.
After Eren (inadvertently) called him a "tiny old man" in season 3, Levi didn't care, but when he thought of it by himself later, he was hurt (unclear exactly why).
Levi's father, most likely one of Kuchel's customers, is an insignificant man who's short. That's where Levi's height comes from. His face comes from his mother.
At the start of season 4, Levi didn't change much compared to the 104th because he's turning into an "old man" who'd rather stick with his flip phone so to speak.
He "doesn't break out into cold sweats". AKA he's always calm under pressure.
He considers prostitution to be an ordinary job because of his childhood.
Levi's vision is very sharp, way above average.
He thought Eren's new look beginning season 4 was unclean/dirty (in more ways than one perhaps).
—fan Q&A in Oyama, Oita, Mar.2018
He has slight bouts of insomnia.
He never snaps/explodes when he's angry. But he does get angry or grumpy a lot, in general.
He doesn't sing. It's more likely he would dance.
If he was a fan of Momoiro Clover Z (jpop girl group), his favorite would be Momoka.
When/if he drinks, he has a high tolerance, but he can get a little drunk :)
One thing he highly hates and fears is mold.
He is the one who ordered Armin to dress as Historia during the uprising.
His blood type is A. Blood types are much like horoscopes in Japanese culture, and Levi's is as such: kichōmen, or well-organized; he likes keeping things neat, but can be stubborn and stressed out easily.
Whether he eats enough or has a good diet? He is "a bit lax".
Maybe he forgets to eat sometimes, or has a low appetite.
When Levi bathes, he goes for a quick shower then soak in hot water, which takes about ten minutes. Like a bird :'))
He on any given night gets about 2-3 hours of sleep.
He thought Eren was the best at cleaning (in season 3 / uprising arc).
Because of his childhood in the Underground, Levi has a preoccupation/obsession with cleaning (specifically to ward off disease).
He also doesn't have any pajamas, mostly keeping day clothes on when he goes to sleep - which is in "his" chair.
Levi cuts his own hair using clippers. (Something like:)
He's aware Oluo imitated him, and found it annoying.
Levi's horoscope (in general) as a Capricorn:
Humanity’s Strongest Soldier - Levi. He possesses warmth in the midst of a dispassionate nature, and he is capable of leadership without verbal expression – both of which are special qualities of a Capricorn. Capricorns tend to hold certain levels of authority, even if they must carry out somewhat unreasonable tactics while in such positions. But when such authority is backed up with actual abilities, a Capricorn can gain Levi’s type of confidence and also be put on a pedestal by those around them.
However, Capricorns won’t be dependent on others, much less trust them easily. They don’t hold high expectations and thus never feel a sense of failure.
Levi’s faults include the inability to express himself clearly. Even though he wants to encourage his companions, he always speaks in a roundabout way, and without Hanji’s translation it’s nearly impossible to understand Levi’s intended meaning.
Even though he is dependable in most situations, when it comes to love/romance, he expresses himself clumsily/awkwardly.
—FRaU Magazine, Aug.2014. | fan Q&A in Oyama, Oita, Mar.2018 | Levi: Close-up Report (Part One) | Translator
*the horoscope wasn't written by Isayama, but was published alongside canon information, and it's also not factually wrong, so I'm including it.
The dark circles under Levi’s eyes are to convey the “self-destruction” he takes on to reach the “standard” of Humanity’s Strongest.
—Interview on the topic of Levi, May 2015
His 'liege'—as Eren is to Mikasa, and Uri is to Kenny—is Erwin.
He is afraid of making deep relationships because of the cruel world he lives in; he can't know when someone he cares for will die or how soon.
That 'gap' left in Levi's heart by Kenny's death was filled by his squad (the 104th).
If Levi hadn't joined the Survey Corps, he would've been a "very irresponsible person". Risky with his life perhaps?
As a kid, Levi used to make himself stronger in order to receive praise from Kenny. When he abandoned him, he wondered what his strength was even for. He was able to find peace with Kenny after his death.
In CH72, the reason Levi kicked the shit out of Eren and Jean is because of his argument with Erwin earlier.
He knows he's a slave to his own strength, aka the idea of being a hero. He realizes it when Kenny asked what he's a slave to in s3/ch69.
—Answers Guidebook, Aug.2016
If he ever changed his appearance, the one thing Levi couldn't be able to give up is his undercut :') He would grow out the top and tie it up :3
—Oyama homecoming event Q&A in 2014 | 2 | 3
Levi knows how to use a gun, but he "places more trust" in knives.
—Bessatsu Magazine, 2019
Levi tolerates saunas. But instead of enjoying himself he seems to see it as a test of endurance. (LOL)
—Bessatsu Magazine, 2020
Levi has newspaper-level handwriting that he practices often. He's very conscious of it and being connected back to the Underground.
—AU Smartpass TEXT: Levi’s Signature
Isayama had considered killing Levi around the time of the thunderspear explosion. (As always) Isayama deliberated with his editors whether or not it'd be meaningful if he died, and they decided it wouldn't be.
—Kawakubo interview, 2021
Specially, Levi holds his swords in a reverse grip "his own way" since he wasn't officially trained.
—Illustrate Note Magazine, 2017
Levi forcefully bathes Hange by knocking them unconscious.
—AU Smartpass - Erwin & Levi Close Up Interview Part 1
Levi is 4 at the time that Kuchel dies.
—What the director informed Kamiya Hiroshi of on set
His character song is called "Dark Side of the Moon", found on YouTube here. Translated lyrics here.
how to draw Levi:
—AOT Guidebook; p.229 | +Illustrate Note Magazine, 2017
#please share... this took days of time and effort#levi aot#snk levi#snk levi ackerman#levi ackerman#levi attack on titan#captain levi#rivaille heichou#levi heichou#captain levi ackerman#levi rivaille#rivaille ackerman#aot manga#snk#levi art#levi shingeki no kyojin#attack on titan#levi.thoughts
244 notes
·
View notes
Text
teddy!reader
unique (understatement). always has soft skin. lip smackers. knee high socks. ultra mini uggs. weird patterns. likes all colors but in more dull tones. thrifting. love language; acts of service (even though the act is usually messed up due to her clumsiness, it’s the thought that counts). crochets her own clothes. frecklesss. works at the library. people describe her and her outfits as: outlandish. small tattoos. “ballad of a homeschooled girl” by olivia rodrigo. insanely awkward. always has her hair in eccentric hairstyles w/ funky hair accessories. homemade jewelry. oversized everything. loves records.
ㅤㅤ ㅤ۪ㅤ— ㅤ۫ㅤ๑ㅤ ۟ㅤ ˗ˋˏ 🧸 ㅤ‧₊ ♱
w/ matt — deadass perfection. you crochet him sweaters all the time and he’s constantly driving you to thrift stores. he’s really good at calming you down when you feel insecure about what people say to you. and he’s really good at other things too. bonus : he was your first everything ‘cause no one else made you feel as good about yourself as he did.
w/ chris — you guys are actually too cute. he loves your strange fashion sense and you love how he doesn’t care what people think of him and how he acts a fool. your weird personalities match perfectly. you especially love it when he visits you while you’re working at the library. when he fucks you in the very, very back, warning you to stay quiet.
w/ nate — he’s insanely obsessed with you. his favorite thing about you is how you’re constantly making him gifts, even though they don’t always come out as planned. like messy cakes or goofy looking hats. and after every gift, you receive a nice dicking down, which you are very grateful for.
୭ ˚. ᵎᵎ .⁺ ⸝⸝
just me acknowledging that this is 100% inspired by multiple other writers on this app, specifically, starfxkr, princessbrunette (love her sm) and donatellawritings, and if any of the writers who use these type of !readers see this and feel that my interpretation is too close to theirs and they want me to take this down, i will.
𓊆ྀི⠀ׁ⠀ㅤ © ㅤ 𝓵𝗈𝗏𝖾𝖾𝖻𝗈𝗍 ︎︎︎︎ ︎︎︎︎ . ⠀ ୭ৎ ㅤ 𓊇ྀི
#loveebot ໒꒰ྀི • ﻌ • ꒱ྀི১#matt sturniolo#matthew sturniolo#chris sturniolo#christopher sturniolo#nate doe#nathan doe#nick sturniolo#nicolas sturniolo#teddy!reader#moodboard#aesthetic#matt sturniolo smut#matthew sturniolo smut#chris sturniolo smut#christopher sturniolo smut#nate doe smut#nathan doe smut#matt sturniolo prompt#chris sturniolo prompt#nate doe prompt#!reader
145 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hiiii, could you maybe do some headcanons about the team's reaction when they first found out about Loki and the reader having a relationship? I looked for something like this on your masterlist but I didn't find it, i'm a little inattentive (dumb) sometimes so sorry if you've already done it,
love reading your stuff, thank you so much (:
FYI I don’t tag everything I write into my master list 😅 I’ve genuinely lost count since I frequently write for the mcu
The avengers finding out about you and Loki’s relationship
You two kept it on the low for a bit, Loki kept shifting into different people just so he can go out with you without getting you both harassed
It took around three months of everyone thinking you’re seeing different people all at the same time
Then when you two thought it would be the best time to come clean you picked to just act like it’s always been like this
You would be surprised how many of them had bets on who you’re actually dating
"You bet money on my love life?!"
Natasha won of course because she just has a hunch for this stuff
Tony tries to pretend he saw it coming but later takes you to the side and has a talk about if you’re 100% sure and that no one is judging you but he’s making sure you’re ok
Bruce was a tad awkward but actually super supportive, he just wishes you the best and jokes a bit about how if Loki broke your heart halk would smash him again
Wanda asked a lot and I mean a lot of questions before you could even sit down
Thor took Loki to the side to have in what you can make to be a serious talk
"Aww he cares" "stop it! It’s embarrassing!"
But there is an awkward phase where you two would cuddle or just do something couple like and everyone would sorta stare
It wasn’t a judgment stare but more a curios one
Clint is the one that stares shamelessly though, he also annoys you two by walking in a room and playing the big brother role
"Don’t do something I wouldn’t do and be safe-"
"Clint shut up!" "I’m just trying to help!"
Peter surprisingly knew before anyone else
"Well mr loki always wears {name} shirt and he smells like them so it made sense"
#imagine#mcu#loki laufeyson#loki#loki x reader#loki imagine#fanfic#mcu loki#loki/y/n#headcanon#loki layfeyson x reader#loki layfeyson x you#loki laufesyon x reader#loki friggachild#loki friggason#loki headcanon#loki fluff
218 notes
·
View notes
Text
aragorn headcanons:
sketches in his free time. likes to draw plants he’s come across, writes down descriptions for later. makes maps and draws animals.
cannot draw people, for the life of him.
except for arwen. draws her all the time.
used to very bland food, cooking on the road. prefers unseasoned meat, likes to taste the “natural flavor.”
dislikes nutmeg. cinnamon feind
favorite cookie is oatmeal raisin
has very grimy hands all the time. it’s never ending. even after he washes them, it’s like immediate dirt and grease
current theories are: his sword is just really dirty, his clothes are dirty so when he touches them it makes them dirty, or legolas’s favorite- humans naturally produce grime so the dirt is a natural protective layer above the skin.
in actuality it’s because he knows it grosses (some) elves out and likes to be a menace. specifically targets erestor. legolas will also go great lengths to make sure aragorns hands star far, far away from his hair
knows some card tricks. has great slight of hand specially because of these card tricks. didn’t really do anything with this until pippin discovered this fact and aragorn was forced (politely asked) to preform for the hobbits.
this is, in spite of the fact, that they all know a literal WIZARD (gandalf was salty at abt this “false magic”) and also a ring that turns ppl invisible??
sews. really well, actually. enjoys it but rarely showcases this talent- mostly patches and mends garments weathered by his lifestyle. would one day love to sew a dress for arwen but doesn’t know where to start
masterful at subtly deflecting compliments.
very generous with compliments of his own, but are again, subtle.
years of living with elves has made him quite reserved. yet, he is doing his best to unlearn this behavior. such examples include:
telling arwen he loves her. telling elrond he loves him. telling frodo he loves him. really just telling everyone he loves them. he’s even worse when he’s drunk- he rarely gets even tipsy, but under the influence of a fine wine (or mead, he prefers mead or ciders) he will get very emotional.
hugs!! aragorn loves to give hugs. he really tries his best but they’re a bit awkward at times. he’s getting better.
breaking away from the elven raw-diet and dine seasonings with grilled meat and more lately grilled everything.
he will try his best to cook for himself at any opportunity. it was a jarring shift going from being served gourmet eleven dinners to raw venison
love language is acts of service. he likes to cook for his friends, though he’s not as good as it as sam, who cooked a majority of fellowship meals, so he mainly hunts. then legolas offered his hand and gimli felt challenged by that and at this point boromir just felt excluded-
he just wants to do nice things for the people he cares abt.
arwen has not, for a good chunk of her life, tied her own shoes, peeled her own oranges, made her own tea, or woken up without breakfast being made or ready for her.
just. guys. he really really loves arwen. he will do anything for her and it’s almost obnoxious.
it IS obnoxious if you ask legolas. but this is why aragorn does not go to legolas for romantic advice. (legolas once told aragorn that the next time he ties her shoes he should tie them together so that when she falls he will catch her. this is why arwen stoped flats with ties and opted for anything she could slip on instead.)
will never cheat at any sort of game. he will get extremely upset if you accuse him of such.
he does not believe that counting cards qualifies as cheating. boromir strongly disagrees. he mainly sticks to chess, now
is not allowed to play chess with erestor, (sore loser and prone to trash talk) elrond (matches take to long due to overthinking on both ends and this annoys arwen to no end) and either of the twins (they cheat by working as a team)
would 100% believe in bigfoot.
#lord of the rings#jrr tolkien#lotr#legolas#lotr headcanons#elves#rivendell#imaldris#elrond#arwen#aragorn#aragorn son of arathorn#aragorn headcanons#strider#rivendell elves#lord elrond#jrrt#lord of the rings headcanons#the lord of the rings#boromir#lotr imagine#lotr elves#arwen undomiel#arwin#erestor#tolkien elves#legolas greenleaf#gondor#tolkien headcanons#headcanon
236 notes
·
View notes
Note
some hcs abt the bllk boys doing modeling shoots as pro-players? (like what they’d model for and the ways they captivate their audiences and stuff)? ty and love ur works btw 💞💞🫡
idk why but this ask made my brain freeze up and refuse to write anything for 3 days, so apologies if this is late anon:
sae would be so done. i mean....he walked out on a literal interview, so what makes you think he won't walk out on a photoshoot? he probably hates the very idea of plastering his face all over billboards and magazines. but his manager said that he was in desperate need of good publicity, especially after that stunt he pulled with the last commercial endorsement. if sae was forced to model though, he'd definitely be as stiff as a board. no facial expressions whatsoever and always sticks to one pose. oftentimes, this involves him facing the wall and only showing half his face. if the photographer wants a full frontal, he's going to have to deal with sae's "i don't want to be here and i'm being held hostage" face. even if sae does try smiling, it looks more like a grimace. the only redeeming quality here is that he is good-looking. if you look at the official art, he doesn't even have to try to get all of you drooling over him. that face card does not decline. like ever. so the shoots usually wrap up pretty quickly because out of the 100 images taken, at least half are going to be usable. he's photogenic from any angle.
kaiser would strike a pose for everything, even his own mugshot. i picture him as that one johnny depp advertisement for dior sauvage. blue lighting. a silk blouse with the top button open to show off a sliver of his sculpted chest. his hair is slicked back with gel, and his knuckles are decorated with silver rings. the tattoo just pulls everything together. if not a perfume commercial, then i think he'd model for adidas or some other german brand (maybe even a beer company if he's old enough). i don't think he has any trouble with the actual modeling part of process. he knows how to flaunt himself. the only issue is that kaiser is a lazy perfectionist. he would show up late to the shoots and then stays even later just looking through the shots and choosing which ones to include. puts a lot of time and effort into things like this. after all, his image and his brand are important to him.
shidou would be sponsored by an energy drink brand. like red bull or monster. if not that, then axe body spray lol. as for modeling, i feel like he wouldn't be able to sit still. probably pulls out crazy poses that piss the photographers off on purpose. it always cracks me up how one of his first appearances in the manga is him being muzzled and restrained in a straitjacket inside blue lock's time-out zone. he's so chaotic. you would have to hold him down and shove the camera into his face to actually get a good shot. i also picture him wearing lots of black leather, maybe even silver jewelry (eg. studs, piercings). and of course, you can't forget the hot pink accents.
isagi would model for family-friendly brands. if not that, then just japanese brands in general. i imagine him doing skincare commercials for shiseido or maybe even participating in a campaign for UNIQLO. as for modeling, he would be awkward at first but then gradually get the hang of it. always thanks the team afterwards and is very mindful of the photographer's suggestions. everyone says he is a pleasure to work with.
rin would model for luxury watch brands like TAG heuer or IWC. maybe when he grows older and further develops his career, he might even become an ambassador for louis vuitton or bulgari. overall, his advertisements are very elegant and professional. only endorses high quality products. never looks at the shots afterwards because he hates looking at his own face. gets somewhat embarrassed when his mama points out his billboards and makes clippings of his magazine covers. he absolutely flipped when a brand suggested that he do a collaboration with his brother. so when this collaboration actually did take place, it was like a repeat of the whole messi-ronaldo photoshoot. they didn't actually meet on set. they were just photoshopped together into the same frame.
barou models for calvin klein. lots of denim and shirtless photos. all of the staff got nosebleeds, and his fanbase went wild when the issue was finally released. there's this one image his fans worship religiously where he's posing in his boxers and there's a clear shot of his abs and happy trail. (he's so hot wtf) there's also another shot that wasn't used cus a million people would've been deceased. he's standing there with his thumbs in the belt loops of his jeans and wearing nothing underneath his denim jacket. his hair is also down, and his skin is all sun-kissed and golden.
reo models streetwear, and this is canon because he has the drip. honestly, his duality needs to be studied because he can go from high class gentleman to bad boy who wears chains and knuckle rings. he'd try all different sorts of styles, and he'd look good doing it. out of all the bllk boys, i feel like reo gets the most sponsorship deals because of his versatility. he does the styling, hair, makeup, posing, editing, etc. honestly, they need to hire him as a creative director already. nagi would tag along behind the scenes, but he'd end up scrolling on his phone the entire day.
#asks#blue lock#blue lock imagines#blue lock fluff#sae itoshi#michael kaiser#shidou ryusei#isagi yoichi#rin itoshi#barou shouei#reo mikage#nagi seishiro#bllk#bllk headcanons
234 notes
·
View notes
Text
I Got You
Javier Pena x Plus Sized! F! Reader
Synopsis: Javier teaches you how to be confident. AKA Javier teaches you a lot of things…
Genre: Fluff, angst, AND smut!
Warnings: 18+, anxiety, problems with self confidence, reader insert (Y/N), smut, fingering, oral (female receiving), drinking, thigh riding, kissing, making out, cursing, reader gets soaked (in many ways)
Gif credits to owners!
This is a requested fic by a very lovely anon that sent me a DM. They were super sweet! I hope this is everything you wanted and you enjoy it! I also wish you all the happiness! Thank you! <3
P.S. I’m thinking there will be a part two to this but I’m not 100% yet. Lmk your opinions!
When you met Javier, you never knew how much he would end up meaning to you. In your eyes he was this handsome guy in tight (very tight) pants just lending you a hand. No actually, he had his hand held out to you to help you up. You took it with red cheeks and a shaky hand, muttering a thank you.
He smiled, "No problem, you okay?"
A nod was the only reply you could muster. Not only were you already embarrassed but there was something about the sun kissed glow of his skin that just had you blushing.
"Well, I'm actually supposed to be chasing the guy that knocked you over, so I gotta go." He said all too quickly and rushed off.
After a few days, you had convinced yourself that you were imagining the event all together. A product of watching too many rom coms, you had deducted. Nothing more.
That was until he walked into your favorite coffee shop and you knew you had not made it or him up. You followed him with your eyes as he ordered. He turned to scan the room, his orbs landing on yours. His head quirked to the side as a smile danced on his lips. Suddenly he turned at the sound of the barista calling something out. He grabbed his coffee from her with a nod and turned back to you.
He made his way over to the table you were at and took a seat.
"Hi again." He said while taking a long sip from his coffee. It was probably hot too...
"H-Hi."
"I hope this is okay, me sitting here I mean. No other tables were available so."
You glanced around, there was at least five tables open. Your brows furrowed, "Um, sure, I don't mind."
He took another drink from his coffee, making a sound of content at the taste.
"Wanna go out with me tonight?" He said after a few seconds of silence.
"What?" You weren't sure you heard him right. He wanted to go out with you?
"Do you want to go out with me tonight? Dinner? Maybe dancing?" He clarified. You did hear him right.
"Um, I don't really dance."
"I'll show you, believe it or not I’m a pretty good dancer.” He said, swaying his hips slightly. It all looked pretty awkward, seeing as he was sitting down. You quirked a brow at his movements.
“I believe it. I just-“ You started, only to be cut off.
“Great! I’ll see you at the place next door to here at 7.” He got up abruptly, taking his coffee with him.
He just turned around when he seemed to remember something, “Oh! I’m Javier by the way.”
“Y/N.”
“It’s nice to meet you, Y/N.” You sat there stunned by the conversation. The only thing you heard was the bell over the door ringing as Javier left.
Javier…
—————— Five Months Later ——————
You were lounging on Javier’s couch, yelling throughout his place as he got ready for some work event.
“Are you sure you don’t wanna come with?” He yelled from his bedroom.
“Javi…I can’t come, you know that.”
“You just don’t want to come.” Emerging from his bedroom, wearing a pink button down. He gestured to the shirt questioningly, you nodded in approval.
He made his way to the couch, lifting your legs so he could place them on his lap.
“You know why I don’t want to go.” You said while looking down at your hands.
“Hermosa…” There was a sort of pleading in his voice.
“Javier…” You pleaded back. There was almost a threat in your voice.
“Fine, then I am staying as well. I’d much rather be on this couch with you anyways.”
“You have to go, it’s for work. Besides there might be a beautiful lady you can take home there.” You said with a shrug. Although, you liked Javier the two of you were never going to be more than friends.
You didn’t think he would ever like you. How could he? You were you. It hurt, of course especially because you were all but in love with Javier Peña. But again you were you and someone like Javier would not like someone like you.
He was experienced, you were not. He was confident, you were not. He was fit, you were…not…
He had a type and you did not fit that type.
“I should go, let you get to your party.” You said with a hint of sadness, your thoughts sinking into you. Lifting yourself off the couch, you headed to the door.
“I like you.” Javier bursted out. You turned almost too quickly at his words. He was avoiding your gaze, pretending to be interested in his hands.
“You what?”
“I like you. I like you a lot actually. Maybe too much.” Finally he met your eyes.
You scoffed, “No, no you don’t.”
“Yes I do.” He said matter-of-factly. Javier rose from the couch and crossed the room to you. Grabbing your hand, he brought it up to his heart.
“Feel that? It’s racing, that’s how it always is when I’m around you. It started the moment I met you and hasn’t stopped since. My heart beats for you.” He was right, his heart was racing.
“Javier…” His name left your lips in almost a whisper.
“Y/N…”
Your eyes met, “I can’t.”
And you ran.
You kept running until you found yourself at the spot you met Javier at. It was only then that you sunk to the ground and began to cry.
It didn’t take long for Javier to find you there. You didn’t notice him at first until he held out his hand to you.
Tears streaming down your face, you slowly looked up at him.
“Can we please talk?” He pleaded with you.
You took his hand and let him help you up.
“Let me talk,” you started, “How? How could you like me? I’m no where even close to your league. I’m a virgin! I look like this for gods sake!”
“You look perfect.” Javier tried to reassure you as he reached for your hand. You denied him, stepping back.
“I do not.”
“You do. And being a virgin, well that’s an easy fix.” He said with a smirk. You couldn’t help the blush that rose to your cheeks.
“But what about all the girls you are with all the time?”
He chuckled, “I haven’t seen any of them in months, basically since I met you.”
“But-“
“No buts, let me show you how much you mean to me. Come home with me?” He held out his hand to you once again.
“I’m not…I don’t think I’m ready for that.” You shook your head and took his hand.
“That’s okay, we can take it slow. Everything is on your timeline. But let me lead? It’ll be like when I taught you to dance, I’ll teach you to love yourself. I'll teach you to see yourself, the way that I see you. I got you.” His eyes bore into you, you nodded.
—————— One Month Later ——————
In the one month that Javier and you had been dating, he had taken you on a date almost everyday. He would do at least one thing each day to ease yourself into confidence.
Today he had decided to take you shopping, he wanted you to find a new dress to go dancing in. Dancing had become a very common date activity for the two of you. It brought you out of your shell and gave Javier an excuse to have his hands all over you.
You were struggling with picking a dress though. You had brought a few into the dressing room and each didn’t sit right. Pulling at the fabric of the latest one, you sighed.
“Amor, come out. Let me see.” You heard from the other side of the curtain.
“No, I don’t like it, it doesn’t look good.” You stared at your reflection. In retrospect the dress would look good, it hugged every curve and pushed your boobs up. It was just you. The dress did not work on you. If you had lost a few pounds maybe…
All of a sudden the curtain was opened and Javier slid into the dressing room.
“Holy shit, you look amazing. This dress is…wow.” Javier was awestruck.
You rolled your eyes, “I look like a sack of potatoes.”
“And oh how delicious you are.” He replies with a smirk, capturing your lips with his own.
You and Javier had kissed already. You’ve even made out a few times, done a little over the clothes groping but you were still not at a fully sexual point yet. You were still nervous.
The kiss was feverish, like the two of you were starving for it. Teeth clashing and tongues molding together. Javier’s hands found your ass and squeezed causing you to yelp.
“I want to taste you.” He said against your lips.
“Aren’t you already?”
“I want to taste,” he glanced down, “all of you.”
It took a few seconds for you to understand what he meant until you felt his hard on against your thigh.
“Oh.” You said in realization.
“Oh?” He replied with a raise of his brows.
“I think I would like that.”
Javier smirked placing one last kiss to your lips before falling to his knees. Pushing the dress up past the swell of your ass. He marveled at your underwear choice. Although not the sexiest, they were a bit lacey.
“Fuck, it’s like you knew what was going to happen today.”
He ran his fingertips up the inside of your thigh, slipping a finger under the crotch of your panties, feeling your wetness.
“You’re soaked. Why haven’t you told me how much I effect you?”
You shrugged in response, “I’m still nervous about it all.”
“You have nothing to be nervous about. I got you.”
Suddenly he pulled down your panties and took in all of your naked form, well half naked. Not wasting any time, he licked a strip along your core causing you to gasp. It was a newfound pleasure. Of course you had touched yourself before but nothing compared to someone else, especially someone’s tongue.
Javier seemed content with your reaction and continued to slowly tease you with his tongue. Each stroke of his muscle causing you to react. The teasing was almost too much, you needed more. You let your hips grind down onto his mouth.
“Mmm baby, yes grind on my tongue. Show me how good I make you feel.” His words made you moan.
“Oh but keep quiet, don’t forget we are in public.”
Right, you were in public. You were being ate out for the first time…in public. Holy shit. It was kind of hot actually.
You quickly forgot about the fact that anyone could hear or find the two of you and focus on the intense pleasure Javier was giving you. He had started to move his tongue faster, swirling his tongue in circles every few licks.
At this point you were keening, struggling to keep yourself on your feet. Javier moved his hand to the backside of your thigh and lifted it over his shoulder, supporting you with his body and giving you more balance. This also caused his tongue to hit a new angle, you let a moan pass your lips. Your hand slapped over your mouth.
You saw Javier’s eyes glance up at you and you swore you saw someone flash behind them.
“Can I use my fingers?” At this point you were far past the nerves and logic, so you nodded instantly.
The hand that wasn’t supporting your thigh grabbed your hip and squeezed before trailing down to where his mouth was. He pulled off only to gain a whine from you. He laughed and ran his finger along your entrance. Slowly he inserted that finger. You gasped.
“Please, Javi, I need more.”
That was all Javier needed to hear to fully let himself go. He began pumping his finger in and out of you, hitting the perfect spot inside of you. He added another finger to the mix and quickened his pace slightly. Bringing his lips back to your clit he sucked the bud in before letting it go with a pop. His tongue was now on you again. At this point your knees were shaking. He moved his tongue in time with his thrusts.
“I’m-I’m gonna” You began to say but couldn’t finish as blinding white pleasure crashed over you. Your entire body shook with the force of your orgasm. Never have you felt something so good. No time you touched yourself was it ever this amazing.
Javier worked you through your orgasm, it wasn’t until you whimpered that he let up. He stood and brought his lips to yours once again.
“That was…oh my…”
He smiled and pecked your lips.
“I’m glad it was good. Now you better get that dress.”
Ever since that day in the dressing room, Javier has been even more attached to you. Complimenting you every chance he gets, always needing to be touching you in some way, he was obsessed. A part of you was beginning to accept that this was more than another score for Javier. He actually liked you...maybe even love...no. Nope, there was no way. Javier would never love someone like you, he was too...Javier.
Tonight, you and Javier were going to meet his partner, Steve, and his wife, Connie, for a little dinner double date. You were beyond nervous. You had met Steve in passing a few times but now the situation was different. You and Javier were together, what would he think? And not to mention Connie, you had never met her.
Javi tried to reassure you numerous times. He said they would love you and that he didn't care if they didn't anyways, but it all still gnawed in the back of your head.
There was a knock at your door, it was Javier. You did one more once over in the mirror, tilting your head at your appearance. You were wearing the dress, it felt wrong to put it back after such a sin was committed in it. Plus, Javier liked it so much you couldn't say no. Lightly pushing a piece of hair back into place, you decided that this was as good as it was going to get and made your way to the door.
Javier stood leaning against the doorframe, a single rose in this hand.
"Cariño, if I knew you were gonna wear this, I would've planned for us to stay in tonight." He was mesmerized by your appearance. You blushed instantly, looking down at your feet.
"I think we cancel, I wanna keep you all to myself." Javi tried to push himself into your apartment, you placed your hand on his chest to stop his movements.
"Javier, we have to go. How would I look if we were to cancel on them?"
He sighed, "We could make up a really good excuse! But fine, you're right," He handed you the rose. "But if anyone even looks at you, I'm taking you straight home."
You rolled your eyes at his antics and took the rose, admiring it. You knew no one would even glance your way but your heart swelled at his...was it jealousy...?
Arriving at the restaurant, you were greeted by Steve and Connie who had already arrived and claimed a table for the four of you. You tried to put on your most confident smile as Javier introduced you to them.
Although you and Javier hadn't had the official talk of what you were to each other, a piece of you wished he called you his girlfriend. Instead you were just Y/N to him.
The conversation was light as you all decided what to order. Connie recommended a cocktail to you and you ended up ordering it. After the server left with your orders, Connie asked how the two of you met.
Javier laughed as he told the story of a perp knocking you over and him becoming your "knight in shining armor." His words, not yours. That seemed to break the tension you had stored up as you laughed along with him. Connie was also laughing at the dramatics of Javier's storytelling. Steve had a big smile on his face that he was trying to hide with his hand.
The rest of the evening went smoothly, all of you talking about anything and everything. You were relieved with how well it was going, the food was also delicious.
The night was winding down and Javier was now three drinks in and little tipsy. You had stopped at one, but not only did he have a higher tolerance...he also had a bit of an addiction. Not that you minded, you just knew he got very handsy when he has been drinking.
As if you were manifesting it, Javier's right hand had made it onto your thigh. He was rubbing soft circles into your flesh.
You would've brushed it off but his pinky was getting dangerously close to your center. Clearing your throat you stood, Javier's hand fell from your thigh.
"I'm just going to use the restroom really quickly. Be right back." You shot Javier a warning glance as you walked towards the bathroom.
You had finished your business and were now washing your hands when you heard the door opening. You didn't look over, assuming it was just another person needing to use the bathroom, until you heard the lock click. Thats when your eyes snapped up, meeting Javier's.
"Javi...what are you doing in here?" You whisper-yelled at him.
"No need to get nervous, amor, I needed to see you in private. You've been driving me crazy all night." He sauntered towards you, you made note of the slight stagger in his steps.
"You've been drinking. I need to take you home." You said as you side stepped his advances.
"I only had three and I want you." Stepping towards you once again.
"You can have me when you're sober." You bopped his nose and made your way to the door, only to be stopped by Javier placing his hand over the lock. His other was trapping your body. You turned around to face him, raising a brow.
"Please just kiss me." He wasn't asking, he was almost begging.
You gave in and pressed your lips to his. Javier melted against you. His hands fell to your hips and guided you to the counter. Where he started to mess with the hem of your dress. You let this go on for a bit before pulling away when he started to pull it upwards.
"Uh uh, you said a kiss. Your partner and his wife are waiting for us."
"Please, I'm sure they are about to do the same thing. Steve's been eye fucking Connie all night long." Javier rolled his eyes and tried to bring your body back to his.
"I did not need that image." He laughed. "Can't we just go home? We can cuddle and maybe a little more there." Your voice was laced with the innuendo.
"Fine, but only 'cause I'm pretty sure I saw the bartender looking at your ass."
You two paid and bid your goodbyes to Steve and Connie. Making your short walk back to Javier's place. As you were walking the streets of Colombia, raindrops began to fall on you.
"It starting to rain." You pointed out. Javier released his hand from yours and lifted them to the sky, trying to feel the rain. He nodded.
"We better hurry home then." And right as he finished his sentence, it began to pour. Javier grabbed your hand and dragged you into a run to his front entrance.
Finally you two entered his place, now soaking wet. He lifted his shirt over his head, muttering something about needing it off. You marveled at his tanned form. This wasn't the first time you had seen him shirtless, but now there was a new fire inside of you.
He seemed to notice you staring and smirked at you. But that quickly faded as he noticed you shivering.
"Let me get you a towel and some dry clothes." He left down the hallway, leaving you to drip in the entryway. Javier returned with a towel and a t-shirt.
"Here, I'll let you change, be right back." You accepted the items graciously and started to dry your hair with the towel.
After you were sure he was gone, you peeled the drenched dress from your skin and slipped into Javier's t-shirt. You brought the collar to your nose and inhaled, it smelt like him. You smiled.
His footsteps were heard coming down the hall and he rounded the corner with fresh, dry clothes. Including a very revealing pair of gray sweatpants. This is when you realized the draw of a gray sweatpant, you could see everything. You were now wet for an entirely different reason.
"Damn, the rain really sobered me up." You snapped out of your day dream just as Javier slumped down onto the couch.
You don't know what came over but you crossed the room to the couch and straddled Javier's hips. He blinked at you in surprise, but he gladly accepted the intrusion of personal space.
"What are you doing, sweetie?" He questioned.
"Don't know, just need you." You didn't wait for a reply and leaned fully into him, capturing his lips with your own.
Now you were the one who just needed to kiss him. He moaned into the kiss. The sound caused you to grind down into him, feeling him harden.
His hands were gripping your hips and leading your motions against him. Keeping up the friction, the two of you were lost in the kiss, that was getting more and more deep as it went on.
Nothing but lust filled the air as the two of you kept up the heated make out. One of his hands reached between your thighs and ghosted over your clit, causing you to gasp. This let him slip his tongue past your open lips, fighting for dominance with yours.
“Naughty girl not wearing any panties.” He said into your lips.
“They got all wet.” You tried to defend yourself. You tell he was holding back the innuendo that was on his mind before he brought your lips back together.
The hand that was teasing your clit, reached up to your jaw and pulled your face from his. You looked confusedly at him.
“I want to try something. Do you trust me?”
“Of course I trust you.”
“Good, I want you to ride my thigh.” He said while looking into your eyes, trying to read them.
A few thoughts flashed through your head as you processed his request.
You couldn’t muster anything out but a, “Are you sure?”
He nodded, “I got you.”
He helped you shift your body so that you were now straddling only one of his thighs.
“Just grind on me like you were before, baby. Use me to get yourself off.” His eyes were filled with lust. He sure did like pleasing a woman.
You nodded and leaned back into his lips. As the kiss heated up again, you didn’t even need to think about it, your hips started moving on their own. Grinding your clit down into the fabric of his sweatpants. The texture causing you to moan into Javier’s mouth.
“That’s right baby, use my thigh.” He broke the kiss to trail his lips down the expanse of your neck. He attached his teeth and sucked, you knew there would be a mark (or a few) the next day but you didn’t care.
His mouth pulled off your neck with a pop. He admired his work before looking at your blissed out face. He watched as your hips slowed a little as you lost your rhythm.
Javier’s hands returned to your waist to help you back into a pattern. He rocked your body back and forth and watched as you fell apart on top of him. He thanked whatever god brought you to him.
As you got closer and closer to your release, it got harder to focus. Not even Javier’s guidance was helping to you to keep up.
He must has sensed your distress and brought his lips back to yours and his thumb back to your clit. He worked the hud as he worked your mouth.
The kiss was slower now as he was more concentrated on getting you to your finish line. His thumb moving expertly against your clit, rubbing it in circles. The perfect speed and pressure.
You threw you head back, breaking the kiss.
“I’m so close. Please…”
He rubbed you quicker and right as you were about to tip over the edge he pulled your hips back down onto his thigh. His hands helping to get your hips back into motion. Even with how muddled your brain was, you knew what you body needed and you ground into him.
He flexed his thigh to give you more pressure. This action and rubbing your clit one last time at just the right angle, sent you into an intense orgasm. Your hips moved faster and faster as you worked through it. Javier’s hands kneaded your breasts lightly as he watched you fall apart.
As your breathing evened out, Javier spoke up. “Was it good, mi amor?”
You could only form a drunk after orgasm nod as a response. He smiled and kissed your forehead. Slowly he lifted you off his thigh and placed you onto the couch.
“Now I need a new pair of pants again.” He chuckled, noticing the huge wet spot that now adorned them. He began to lift himself off the couch before you spook up.
“Javi…what are we?” He looked over at your blissed out face.
“We are whatever you want us to be, hermosa.”
“I want to be yours.”
“Then you are mine.” He stood over you, using the back of the couch to support his weight.
“I want all of you.” This could be the orgasm talking but you had let it slip out and there was no going back.
“In due time. Right now, I’m going to put you to bed. We had a long night.” He pecked your lips and lifted his body to an upright position.
Javier leant his hand out to you, you took it. A knowing smile on both of your faces.
“I got you. Forever and always.”
#pedro pascal#fanfiction#fanfic#pedro pascal fluff#pedro pascal fanfiction#javier pena x reader#javier pena angst#javier pena fluff#javier pena smut#javier pena story#Javier pena#pedro pascal smut#javier pena fanfiction#javier pena narcos#javier pena fanfic#narcos#Pedro pascal x reader#pedro pascal imagine#pedro pascal fic
584 notes
·
View notes
Note
CONGRATS ON 100 NIKO!!!!! maybe some nsfw + atsushi + prompt 18? <3 enjoy the rest of your break friend
niko's 100 followers event.
'cause when i'm around you, i tend not to changin' my mind ⚝ included: atsushi nakajima.⠀; ♡
🥮⠀⠀·⠀⠀⚝⠀⠀⠀; word count: 1.1k + warnings: gn reader, nsfw, friends with benefits / unestablieshed relationship, kinda dom atsu, degradation (slut, whore, cockslut), petnames (lovely, baby, precious), spooning, finger sucking, slight choking, cumming inside, edging. lmk if i forgot anything.
🥮⠀⠀·⠀⠀⚝⠀⠀⠀; author's note: thank you reid !! <3 i can't really say i didn't write this with my cunt so i pretty much got carried away in some parts oops. i hope you enjoy it anyway lol.
Being friends with benefits with Atsushi was not a premeditated thought, but rather something spontaneous that left his mouth mid-fuck. And as you thought he got too carried away with his feelings, he asked you once more during the aftermath of it all.
Agreeing was something just as spontaneous. Why would you say no to this, or Atsushi himself? There was not an actual reason to avoid it. He got you to show him the ropes after trial and error and you took care of your needs with someone as pretty as him, a fair exchange in the end.
Oh but how he loved to show you how much enthusiasm he had. How he wanted to learn your body, and how desired he felt when you reciprocated the same feelings as him, especially when he left his needy hands to take a grasp over your shirt, tracing over the expanse of your chest, or hooking one of his fingers into your belt and pulling you closer.
Atsushi was a charmer, even with his awkward manners and that occasional attitude he was able to put out when he wanted to take the reins.
He had you enamored by everything he did from just a few months of spending intimate moments together, but it was because of him, as you were very much aware that if it had been anyone else, it would not have been the same, not even close.
After spending another night at your apartment, waking up to him disheveled, his back facing you as the rest of him laid under the sheets of your bed. It wasn’t long before he was the one turning over, his eyes partially closed as his arm wrapped around your waist so casually, like he had memorized the movement by now -you were sure he did-, and pulling you closer to his chest.
Atsushi’s breathing was now right on your neck, soft and composed, as his nose nuzzled into your skin while he held you as if you were ready to break. A different touch to when he got to spend those mornings next to you, even if nothing had happened the night before, Atsushi was so careful with everything: where he put his hands, how hard he pulled you, how overall rough he was. It made your heart melt and he knew it.
As you tried to close your eyes once more, he began to peck down your nape, his hand moving upwards to pull your shirt just slightly and expose your shoulder. You could swear you heard him chuckle under his breath, already seeing how receptive your body was to his touches: goosebumps appearing over your skin with just a few kisses, and your head tilting to leave more space for him to bite afterwards.
‘’Feels that good already? They’re just a few kisses, I didn’t remember you being this sensitive’’ He asked, not stopping his little chatter before he finished off with a small love bite, close to one of your shoulder blades. A pained whine escaped your lips, catching him off guard for once, wondering what he did wrong.
‘’Why did you stop?’’ Oh, so that's what it was.
He didn’t do anything wrong, of course not; you were just needy for more, just like he had been for weeks to no end when this agreement started. He began to wonder if he could love you more than he already did when he saw you like this, asking for more in between whines and pushing your hips back to meet his.
‘’You’re gonna start acting like a greedy slut now? That’s what’s about, huh.’’ Although he degraded you, who was he to not comply, pushing his hips a bit more into yours, making you feel the outline of his dick under his pants. His cock was beginning to harden and throb against your body, looking for more friction, for it to be inside of you already.
The hand that played with your shirt earlier grabbed your chin for a split second, meeting your eye as he forced you to turn your head back at him. You could tell he was asking if he could move forward, and you nodded.
You could already tell how eager he was about it, too: how fast he pushed your pants down slightly and his, how his fingers brushed over the swell of your ass and got to grip your hips right after, steadying you while your leg moved upwards, waiting for him to slide in. Atsushi’s free hand traveled over your stomach, caressing your chest in the process as it reached your mouth, his thumb softly pressing on your bottom lip.
‘’Open up, lovely.’’ Atsushi did not waste any time in getting his finger right inside for you to suck on it as a way to shush your little cries when he decided to slide inside, pressing down on your tongue a little harder when he saw you already clamping down on his dick. ‘’Relax, baby, take it easy, you always do so well for me- yeah, just like that, so proud of you.’’
The throbbing of his cock as he settled inside of you was beginning to grow painful, but he was doing his best to remain patient for you, waiting for your body to adjust. He slowly removed his thumb away from your mouth, bringing his fingers down to your throat and wrapping them there.
‘’Please, please, move, need to feel you more, please, Atsu-’’ He tightened the grip around your throat as you spoke, slowly making your voice sound weaker, while his was surely trying to mock you.
‘’You sure act like a whore. All that blabber just from my dick? Tsk, I thought you knew better. Begging already like a desperate cockslut. You sure missed my touch that much, did you?’’
But Atsushi would indulge you, even if you thought he wouldn’t, making you think like you needed to beg some more.
There was not an actual need, as he began to thrust his hips into yours with sharp movements, not waiting anymore as he had enough himself. The squeezing around your throat went lighter as he lost his grip, slowly losing himself inside your walls as Atsushi felt his own climax approaching.
Just a tad quicker than yours would, as he was purposely looking for his own peak, selfishly fucking himself into you without regard, cumming deep, deep inside like he liked to.
At the sight of your confused -and pained- expression, various ‘’wait, wait, atsu- i didn’t- atsushi, please-’’ coming out slurred, wondering why he did not let you cum, watching how he pulled out, leaving your hole to spasm around nothing, his lips pecked your cheek from the side, slowly but carefully moving to settle between your thighs as he accommodated you on your back.
‘’Looks like you’re about to cry, precious. Don’t worry your pretty little head about it, I just wanna make sure you cum on my tongue instead, alright?’’
#bungou stray dogs#bsd#bungo stray dogs#bsd x reader#bsd x you#bungo stray dogs x reader#bungou stray dogs x reader#bsd smut#bsd atsushi nakajima#atsushi smut#atsushi x reader#bungou stray dogs atsushi#bsd imagines#bsd fanfic#bsd fic#bsd atsushi x reader#nakajima atsushi x reader#atsushi x you#atsushi nakajima x reader#bungo stray dogs smut
123 notes
·
View notes
Note
hi! can i request idol!enha getting to play the love interest of their crush idol!reader in an m/v?
mv lovers.
pairing : ot7! x reader Genre : idol x idol , fluff , slight angst warnings : arguing (fake) , swearing , kissing 748 words
> masterlist to all my other works
a/n : request is now open again!! Thank you for the support
정원 jungwon + 박종성 Park Jeongseong
super nervous because is his first time playing the love interest in a MV. This ain’t the typical mv he usually does.
He will 100% do those high school neighbors theme mvs like super cute
he will blush everytime you “admire” him, especially when the director will comment stuff like “ahh~ y/n you look so in love with him~” , “I can feel the love in the air.”
You would blush as well cuz you have a crush on him in reality
Will have the most genuine smile on his face when dragging you through the school hallways for the mv.
Brushing your hair behind your ear with his tumbling hands😭 poor boy have mercy on him he really likes you
the type of person to be super gentle with you
Having to redo the kiss on your cheek cuz he kept “messing up” but you don’t mind😝
He felt so bad when you had to cry during filming
Always comforting you and reassuring you that it’s ok and you need to take rests
he would lend you his big jacket during filming cuz you were cold and it became one of the scenes during the mv
I see them acting really cute around you which is 100% out of his comfort zone
When the MV dropped, everyone was going crazy and was thirsty over you both
Fit each other sm they actually thought you guys were dating
will 100% make him be your love interest again or maybe even in real life
にしむら りき Nishimura Riki + 성훈 Sunghoon + 선우 Sunoo
not as nervous as the others but still nervous cuz they don’t know what they would need to do
when they were told he’s gonna be the love interest for your mv he was so excited (jumped in the air)
you guys were filming this mv around 4-5am to get this film effect
Him filming you in his pov on the film camera and he was FALLING IN LOVE
The way your hair flew when your spinning and you holding his hands.
Having to kiss each other’s cheeks from time to time made him blush so hard but he will never complain ykyk ;)
the actual camera film the cute interactions between you both, everyone behind the scenes was giggle 2.0
he would hold your hand and fix your hair if it’s a bit messed up
It was a bit awkward when he was told to hug you from behind but after a few takes he got the hang of it
One scene was when you both were arguing and bro got so into it he started crying
You had to comfort him cuz he kept telling you don’t want you to leave :( it was really sad ibsr
the way your interactions behind the scenes made it into the MV aswell because it was so genuine and it looked like you both are a couple
Everyone actually thought you guys were dating or maybe you are
never felt this way for ANYONE
Will he do it again? UH YES TF HE WILL.
심재윤 Sim Jaeyun + 희 승 heeseung
The ones that doesn’t talk much but eventually gets comfortable around you
You guys are more like friends in this MV but like friends that has a crush on each other but the other doesn’t know ykyk
will ask “can I?” Before doing the move
goes soft when you guys hug and hold hands
will pout when he messes up😕
Both of Your acting was so real, like tell me why the tears was streaming down both of your faces, him gripping onto your arms and pulling you back into his embrace.
Purposely does something wrong so he can keep redoing it and re-live the moment
will 100% have a scene where you both are in a photobooth
heart cheeks and everything (maybe a kiss as well oop. )
His eyes were full of love when he secretly admire you during filming
bro will smirk at you from time to time and will make you and the fans go WEAK cuz oml
takes really good care of you
from you both sleeping next to each other, sharing the same drink, playing mini games and fixing each others outfits and hair.
ppl behind the scenes think you guys genuinely have something going on after filming
taglist : @surefornext @spilled-coffee-cup @skepvids @amymyli @in-somnias-world @okjaeminn @nonotwice1 @thinkmyg @blubbfsh
Reblog , comment or dm to be on my perm taglist !
networks : @k-films @k-neighborhood @/k-labels @kflixnet
#k labels#k films#kflixnet#k neighborhood#💌 ~~~~ filmofhybe requests#🐰 filmofhybe#enhypen#enhypen x reader#enhypen x oc#enhypen imagines#enhypen smau#enhypen scenarios#enhypen fanfiction#jungwon imagines#jungwon x reader#heeseung x reader#heeseung fluff#heeseung x oc#enhypen jay#park jeongseong x yn#park sunghoon#sunghoon fluff#sunghoon x y/n#kim sunoo x reader#sunoo smau#nishimura riki imagines#niki nishimura#enhypen au#enhypen headcanons#enhypen drabbles
251 notes
·
View notes
Text
Chicken Shop Date | Part 3 |
By @imagine-that-100 and @alovesreading
Description: Matty Healy x Reader (Female) | You and your best friend Amelia came up with a very simple idea of taking celebrities on awkward chicken shop dates, and somehow, it’s managed to become both of your jobs. In the past, you’ve found sitting across from some of the biggest stars on the planet and eating chicken nuggets easy. But then Amelia manages to score you a date with the man who you’ve been obsessed with since you were nineteen; Matty Healy.
Word Count: 24.6k
A/N: Bestiessss, we’re backkkk!!! And this new part is a good one, it might be my favourite. Me and A have become obsessed with Matty and Baby’s story (Yes, she got a cute nickname like Wheels and it stuck lol) and we can’t wait to share more. There’s going to be at least 6 parts to this story as we can’t stop writing. We really hope you enjoy this new part as much as we do and thank you so much for reading x
| Part 1 | Part 2 |
| N’s Masterlist | A’s Masterlist |
The day Being Funny dropped, you’re sure you listened to it through at least 30 times. Both listening to it completely transfixed like you were the first time, and having it on in the background when your best friend came around.
When Amelia came to yours, you got so deep into recounting the events of the night before that you didn’t realise what the time was when your phones started blowing up. Your storytelling had distracted you from realising the date and that your scheduled video of yours and Matty’s chicken shop date had been posted, it was finally out for everyone to see.
The both of you had to pause your story to post on all your social media platforms and when that was done, you sighed looking back up to your best friend who is already looking at you in desperate need for you to continue talking. When you finished telling her, she was gobsmacked at every little detail, from Matty phoning you to come back into the venue, to him kissing you outside your building and following you inside, to holding his hand during the album, to him climbing into your bed and the both of you sleeping beside each other.
She asked if you were going to message him, and you shook your head as you remembered he mentioned New Years before he left. It gave you that little bit of hope that he would want that second date. The last thing you want to do is message him and annoy him and blow your chance.
It was needless to say that yours and Matty’s chicken shop date blew up. The response from it ended up being fucking insane and obviously the fact that you kissed on camera had the fans going feral.
You were getting messages from everyone about it, endless people saying it was your best date yet. Even Amelia’s Mum texted her about the date, saying, She really hit the jackpot with this date but he’s definitely a heartbreaker 🥰🍾
It made you cackle when Amelia posted that on her instagram story and tagged you with a caption that read, Linda, so is she!!!!!!!
Despite the date blowing up, your hard work had been done after you posted everything on your socials and you posted the picture that you took of the cigarette that you stubbed out amongst your food and you tagged Matty, but other than that you hadn’t messaged him.
You didn’t think anything of tagging him, and you certainly didn’t expect a response as he should be partying again because it’s his album release day. But when you got into bed that night at about 1am you see that he’s replied to you.
Tasty x
In a little panic, you chose to not reply to him because honestly you really didn’t know what to say. It was definitely too late and you were too tired to be attempting to come up with a flirty response that probably wasn’t going to earn you a response.
The following day, you had a few things to do in the morning, but you had decided that early afternoon you’d wanted to go to The 1975 pop up shop on Brick Lane in Truman Brewery. A full shop filled with 1975 merch was actually a dream of yours and there is no way you wouldn’t be going.
You wanted to set off from your flat at midday, but Amelia phoned you to go over some details for an upcoming date she had and you ended up running ideas back and forth with each other for an hour. It was just after 1pm when you bid each other goodbye and you got your phone out to check train times on City Mapper to see when was best to head out as if you weren’t on the phone you would have most definitely been there by now.
However, when you were checking for when was best to leave your flat, you got an Instagram notification from a fan account - because yes, you follow those - and you see that all of the band have just rocked up at the pop up shop. You’re eternally grateful that Amelia phoned you now and delayed you because you can’t even begin to imagine the embarrassment you would have felt if Matty caught you at their pop up shop too.
When you eventually got to the pop up, it was thankfully a lot quieter than it was earlier. You decided to just give it a few more hours, knowing that the shop was open a little later than the others so you could just browse the merch to your heart's content when you got there.
There were only a few people in there beside you, and because you were taking your time pretty much picking up one of everything of the smaller items. You ended up getting yourself the distressed crewneck that Matty had been wearing quite a bit on his story too, as you quite like their new logo.
Your haul ended up with you getting that crewneck, ‘the band’ long sleeve top, a few logo stickers, badges, a few rolling papers, the zine, and a tote bag to put everything in. It was yet another day of being swindled of your money by your favourite band. But alas, you’d do it all again because the store was stunning.
There were big prints of the band on the wall, all of them glorious and like they deserve to be in a gallery. The merch was set out neatly with the car that is on the album in the centre of the room, looking absolutely glorious.
Because the store was closing up, the woman who was serving recognised you and the two of you started chatting for a little bit. She complimented you on how funny your date with Matty was and although the mere thought of the date still has your cheeks heating up, you thank her.
As she was so lovely, and because it was only you and one other person in the shop at that point, you asked her if she could possibly take a few pictures of you next to the car and thankfully she agreed.
The lovely woman even moved the barrier out of the way too so you could get a proper picture even though you told her it wasn’t necessary. She told you it was fine and if you took a few pics for her too she really didn’t mind which you agreed to.
Feeling a little childish about it actually being the car from the album cover, you posed like Matty does but you were standing beside the car instead of on top of it. You took a few of you smiling normally beside the car and smiling too and another of you crouching down pointing at La Poesie Est Dans La Rue that was written on the side in chalk.
When you got home around 8pm, you ended up posting the picture of you doing the same pose as Matty and you promised yourself that this will be the last time you tag him in anything. You really liked the picture because despite your hair being flicked over half of your face you could see your smile peaking out between your hair, so that had to be the one to post.
And you posted it with the caption:
Now the ruckus has gone… There’s something I've been meaning to say to you baby, but I just can’t do it… I’m too busy listening to the best album of 2022!
(until a different Car comes along next week anyway)
Stream Being Funny In A Foreign Language and @trumanblack, I think I did it better x
It was a little on the nose with the I’m In Love With You lyric, but the picture was cheesy too so your caption had to match. And that night, after you make and eat your dinner, you’re a little startled when you next pick up your phone and see that Mr Truman Black himself has messaged you again.
You little shit, you purposefully didn’t go when I was there today, didn't you? But yes I guess you did do it better x
Thanks for the free promo btw, now post the longer date x
The way you feel yourself blush at the messages is unlike the way you’ve ever reacted to
Electing to ignore the first half of his message, you just end up replying:
You gotta get number 1 first, now get to bed you have a signing tomorrow x
And the snarky but beautiful bastard ends up messaging you back and asking:
You coming to that too? xx
Snorting, you just giggle as you can hear the way he’s asking it. You give it a few minutes before opening the message and typing: You wish xx and you send it off to him without a second thought.
And Matty’s reply comes through just a minute later, and you leave it to sit in your DMs, unread, as you see he responds: I do xxx
Needless to say, you don’t end up going to their signing the day after, not that you were planning to anyway. Your schedule got quite busy after at the same time that the band was going on tour so there were no other interactions from then on.
Something which you don’t mind about, because the delusional hope you have for the New Years date happening really keeps you going. And your life somehow keeps getting more mind-bogglingly more star studded.
Of course, The 1975’s new album ended up reaching number 1 in the UK official charts, so as promised, you ended up posting the full version, which you titled, Matty Healy (The 1975) | Chicken Shop Date | Spicy Edition |
In this spicy edition of the date, you included everything. All the inappropriate jokes that were made with the additional awkward cuts added of the chicken shop you were in. And the reaction was feral.
Obviously, you confirmed with the band’s manager Jamie that this was okay to post, but you never expected it to blow up again. You were thankful that everyone seemed to enjoy it even more than the original and you were thankful for the silence on Matty’s end because watching the full thing back made you lose your mind all over again.
Thankfully, you had work to do to keep yourself from dying from second hand embarrassment eating you alive. Both you and Amelia were asked to be the hosts on the red carpet of the British GQ Awards which was so much fun for you.
You had been shaking and silently freaking out to each other as you got your makeup and hair done, thinking about who’d be there, but once at the red carpet you’d had to keep it cool and it was hard when you saw all the people approaching you.
Throughout the night you were doing tiny toasts on the carpet with willing participants who were the famous faces you were interviewing. Your favourite and most shocking of the night was talking to Andrew Garfield.
Neither you or Amelia could believe he knew who you were, let alone the fact that he commented on how much he appreciates your chicken shop date series. There was no doubt that when he said he would do one that you both jumped on it, agreeing immediately with dumbfounded looks on your faces.
He was your favourite though because he joined you in bullying Amelia for the rubber dress she was wearing and the fact that she liked Andrew’s armpits which came about from her saying he looked hot in that one specific photoshoot. He was so genuinely lovely that you really hope that date with him does come around because you’re sure your heart stopped the moment he came over and called the both of you beautiful. You will be fighting your best friend for that date.
On the carpet you greet other legends like Stormzy, Louis Theroux, and Sydney Sweeney. During Sydney’s interview you were trying not to combust because you fancy the woman so much and she looked incredible. It was hard not to fall to your knees for her when she commented on how much she loved your dress.
Paul Mescal came over to the both of you as well and you really had to bite your tongues with him because both he and the both of you know that his girlfriend Phoebe Bridgers was due to have her date with you soon. In the biggest whiplash, you go from having Paul beside you to Aitch, and whilst it wasn’t awkward, it wasn’t exactly the most fun of your interviews.
Well, it sort of was for you because you got to chuckle at the pair's half awkward interactions with each other. When him being on tour is mentioned, you have to stop yourself from rolling your eyes because of how lads holiday it sounds, but he is a lovely person so you’re not too fussed. You just had to be grateful he didn’t string your best friend along.
The award for your most awkward interaction that night was with none other than Joseph Quinn. You adore him and lowkey fancy him too so you really tried to keep it as normal as the rest of your interviews.
Like with your chicken shop dates, you and your best friend have a little awkward undertone to your interviews this evening to maintain your ‘personas’. But it became quickly apparent by the end of your interview that Joe had no fucking clue who the two of you were or what you do for a living.
So when you asked if he preferred being the big spoon or a little spoon, and he replied with big spoon, you told him that you were a little spoon. Your ‘that works’ comment will definitely live to haunt you for the rest of your days, because he clearly didnt know that uncomfortable flirting is your literal job, and when he walked away after you wished him a great night there was a clear ‘what the fuck’ in his eyes.
And it haunted you so much that when you were inside at the awards and you saw him again after the ceremony, you had to go over and explain yourself and apologise. Bless the man, he was so lovely with you and he told you that he wasn’t freaked out by you at all and that he knew you were joking. He even apologised for making you feel like you’d offended him and you shook your head telling him that it really wasn’t his fault and that you were just worried.
It struck up a conversation about your chicken shop dates where he admitted he hadn’t actually watched any yet but he knew of them. It was a really nice conversation before he got pulled away to someone else wanting his attention, but you were just pleased that you got to tell him that you really appreciated his acting in both Stranger Things and the characters you’d seen him play in films beforehand and you each wished each other well before saying goodbye.
After the GQ Awards, both you and Amelia felt like you could take a breather. That was by far your most high profile job yet and you were so excited that 2023 was going to have even more on the cards for the both of you.
The rest of this year you’re ready to face in high spirits as there’s so much to look forward to. A Miu Miu party, various other amazing celebrity dates that you’re so beyond excited for, the fashion awards.
You’re so excited.
Happiness bubbles inside you when you’re in bed and ready to go to sleep, mindlessly scrolling through twitter when you find clips from the latest The 1975 show. You laugh at his antics when he plays with the crowd, saying funny shit in the TooTime autotune or plainly just messing about with the fans and their signs.
Your heart swells in your chest and with a sigh of content, you lock your phone and put it to charge to finally go to sleep.
Everything was looking up and you were truly convinced nothing could bring you down from the state of immense bliss you were currently in. But how little you thought about the fact that anything could happen on tour comes to bite you back later.
~*~*~*~ 26th November ~*~*~*~
Waking up on a Saturday morning after having a nice lie in was meant to be the best part of your week as it usually always was. With things only planned for around 2pm you knew you could laze about in bed all morning and not have to rush at all, you could stay on your phone and endlessly scroll to your heart's content.
However, that isn’t how this morning turned out for you.
After waking up properly when your eyes weren’t getting heavy again, you reached for your phone which you left on charge last night. And when you opened instagram, the first thing you saw was The 1975 tour content from their show in Vegas last night. When you started watching, it was wholesome, the band seemingly having a great time on stage, but then when the next video came on you felt something in your chest die a cold death.
You watched a 20 second video that changed your whole day for the worst.
Matty had pulled a fan on stage, a pretty girl, and he kissed her before the ‘now everybody’s dead’ line in Robbers and you genuinely think your heart breaks the tiniest bit.
You try to fool yourself that it isn’t that big of a deal, because it truly isn’t but when you masochistically watch it again, you feel your chest tightening even more and you just cannot bear to catch another glimpse of the moment.
It’s not even the fact that he’s kissed someone that makes you the most upset, it’s the fact Robbers is the song he was performing when he did it that does your heart in.
You’re so overwhelmed by the mix of feelings inside you at the moment: heartache because of course you fancy the man, you have since you were 19, jealousy because there isn’t an atom in you that doesn’t want to be that girl, and just plain pity for yourself because why are you feeling this much despair over it?
Trying to laugh it off, you just shake your head. “Pathetic.” You say to yourself under your breath, to slightly bully yourself into getting over it but as the day went on, you realise that was easier said than done.
Not when the internet had seemed to explode and you were mentioned in every social media platform under the video left, right and centre. You know Amelia has already seen it because she’s retweeted a Pop Craze tweet about it and added a comment that you don’t care to look at right this second.
But at least you don’t feel alone in your melancholy because along with you lots of other fans were reacting like you, which made you feel the tiniest bit better.
It hadn’t been enough, though, since your mood hadn’t picked up after that because you needed to go into central to get some Christmas shopping done but you were in no mood for it at all.
On top of your wonderful outlook on life today, the underground was fucking packed, leaving you in an even worst mood than when you left your flat. The journey was no better and the things that on any other day you wouldn’t bat an eyelid at, they really pissed you off.
People were being annoying, typical south London crackheads on the tube, but you thought that once you were off the trains you’d be alright, but no. Your chest has been feeling tight and incredibly heavy since you saw the videos but everything just seems to be out to get you today.
When you’re out shopping, you realise you’ve started your period which explains a lot of your feelings today but it didn’t help with anything, in fact the pain of the first day made everything worse. The main present you went out to get today for Amelia was out of stock and when they told you that they could order it to the store for you or you could order it to be delivered you really wanted to be a karen about it and tell them that you’d had a wasted trip out and that it was stupid that it still says it’s in stock online when it in fact isn’t.
To make the trip slightly more fulfilling, you shopped about for other people’s Christmas gifts but by the time you got anything decent, you needed to head to a different borough of London to go your Chicken Shop Offices as you and the team call them.
You had all of the promo content and the last of the editing to do for Amelia’s latest date with Meekz which was actually quite funny. But what wasn’t funny was everyone's faces as you walked into the office.
When you saw the text from Amelia earlier asking, Have you seen…????, you wanted to turn your phone off and not turn it back on. You blatantly ignored her like you did her earlier tweet, entirely not in the mood.
When you got to the office after your shopping trip, Amelia was already there and you could tell she was going to start joking around but you told her up front, “I’m really not in the mood so please just don’t.”
And before she can further try and joke like you know she’s about to, you explain yourself, “I know it's irrational and it’s stupid of me but please just don’t.”
She just puts her hands up, her lips pressed together as she tries to feign innocence and you sigh softly in relief when she keeps quiet as you put your stuff down.
Still, Amelia can only keep her mouth shut for a few minutes because when you have pulled out your laptop and opened the editing software to start importing the clips from the latest date, she just needs to take the piss out of you a little bit.
“What do you think about your man kissing a fan on stage?” Her playful smirk is radiating on her face, impossible to miss even when you’re just seeing her out of the corner of your eye.
You roll your eyes, entirely done with the topic and wanting to drop it already, “I think he can do whatever he wants, it’s none of my business.”
You see Amelia opening her mouth to say something else but before you find yourself in a situation where you’re snapping at her, you cut her advances, “Did we come here to chat about the 1975’s tour or did we come to edit a video?”
She freezes in her place for a quick second before answering with a slightly confused tone, “Editing, obviously.”
“Why don’t we get back to it then?” You give her a tight lip smile that is definitely forced and Amelia notes that, instantly knowing not to bring the conversation up again, at least not at the moment.
The team around both you and Amelia start giving you shit too, some of them even distracting you from the tasks at hand by calling you over for something to check on, making you believe it was about work when it was just the video again. You played the part and laughed at it, waving it off like you should be doing despite it feeling like a dagger going into your heart.
Another of your friends shouts over to you and tells you that you should call him for an explanation, to which you end up jokingly reminding them that your date with him wasn’t real and he can do whatever he likes. It gets worse when another member of your team finds the girl that he kissed’s twitter account and he reads her anecdote aloud.
You had it in you to chuckle a little when you hear that she held up her phone which read, ‘So we making out?’ and you can’t help but think how funny it is that he’s that easy to get when it means that it’ll get him a reaction.
And even though your colleague tells you that the girl is apparently married herself, it does nothing to ease the ache in your chest. It feels beyond foolish of you at this point but you guess you’re allowed to have a bad day every once in a while with no questions asked. It just so happens everyone around you knows what’s triggered this one.
Someone ends up joking, “They’re both cheaters, they deserve each other.” which does make you silently chuckle, but Amelia fully cackles at it. Her heart is bleeding for you as she can see how much you clearly don’t want to be here right now.
As soon as it hits 6pm, her arms fly around your neck as she tightly hugs you from behind and leans around you to kiss your cheek before whispering and asking if you’re alright. You lean into your best friend, truthfully needing the affection she’s giving you, but you’re pleased it’s not a proper hug because you genuinely believe you would just burst out into tears, and that’s the last thing you want to do.
Your best friend asks you if you want her to come to your flat and you thank her but decline her offer. You just explain that you want to get into bed and sleep because your period pain still hasn’t left despite the painkillers you’ve taken.
And that she understands entirely so after she hugs once again, you make sure all your work is saved and you wrap everything up in the office.
The fact that you’re now going back home has your mood lifting up a little bit, so you gather your shopping bags and wave everyone goodbye with a smile on your face.
As you’re walking to the tube station you go back on Twitter, your mentions are still blowing up as they have been all day and you’re faced once again with a tweet that you’d ignored since you got the notification.
Amelia had retweeted a celebrities update page, which had tweeted about the kiss, with a simple, Interesting that had lots of people asking about how you were doing in the comments.
It felt weird to think about that many people getting the tiniest bit of worry about you, even as a joke, over something so trivial but it was the attention you indirectly got from the moment that kept you feeling worse.
You know Amelia didn’t tweet that out to make your mood worse, you know her far too well to know that through jokes is the way that she copes and this could be a silent attempt of her for you to take it playfully so it wouldn’t bring you down so much.
That’s why to try and make yourself feel better, you bite the bullet and decide to join in on the jokes. You manage to quickly type, Ending the year with a bang! Getting (parasocially) cheated on 😍 before getting on the tube and it immediately blows up.
All the replies you were getting were making you silently laugh, some remarks even making you have to cover your mouth not to snort out loud for everyone around you to hear.
Once you’re out of the tube, with multiple shopping bags in hand you think it’s best if you order yourself an uber for the rest of the way home. In a matter of 2 minutes the driver has picked you up and you’re thankfully only less than 10 minutes home.
Your phone pings again with more notification flooding in. You read more funny replies when you get to someone’s tweet saying, Don’t bother me, listening to Phoebe Bridgers and crying myself to sleep, thanks.
That has an idea coming to your head, so to commit even more to the bit now, you rest your forehead against the taxi’s window and stare out to take a picture. It looks like a scene from a heartbreaking pop song music video from the early 2000s and that’s exactly what you’re aiming for.
With a small grin, you prepare your Instagram story which consists of the picture you just took and ‘Moon Song’ by Phoebe Bridgers playing in the background, purposely on the first verse so people can hear the verse ‘Stuck your tongue down the throat of somebody / Who loves you more / So I will wait for the next time you want me / Like a dog with a bird at your door’ to make it even more dramatic.
After uploading it, you lock your phone and watch the streets pass by as you get to your flat. It’s when you’ve finally gotten to unlock your door and you’re toeing your shoes off when Amelia texts you, I take it you’re feeling better then? and even though you do feel better, there’s still that nagging feeling deep in your chest that has you asking for more comfort to fully relax after such a day.
You quickly reply to Amelia before undressing and getting under the shower, knowing that every time you feel down, it only takes standing under the waterfall to have your spirits lifting up.
The rest of the day, you decide will be to just pamper yourself and so you put on a show as you make yourself tea, relishing in the calm you now feel within yourself.
In a different timezone, Matty wakes up when his alarm goes off at 2pm which was an hour and a half before he had to be leaving his hotel room.
As soon as every single one of the 16 people who are sleeping on the band’s bus got on board last night, they were back on the road and headed to San Diego where their gig the following day was. The aim being to get there in the early hours of the morning so they could all check into the hotel and have a decent night’s sleep as they had a late check out.
And when Matty crawled into the bed, he passed out rather quickly which was rather unlike him. But the strain the tour puts him under makes a real bed that bit more comfortable and had him passing out just after 3am.
Rubbing his eyes, the singer groans at the light seeping into his room as due to the late hour he crawled into the bed, he never shut his curtains. But at least the daylight woke him up a little more, so when he went to twitter to check for more memes to send to the bands group chat, he saw that he’d caused quite the stir with last nights show.
Yes he had kissed a girl during Robbers, and he’d done it to primarily be nostalgic towards when he used to do it years prior. But he also did it because this was the first time he’d been single whilst touring since 2014, so he gave the fans something nostalgic whilst he’s not tied to anyone.
The various cheating things he’d been tagged in made him laugh, but he continues aimlessly scrolling until one tweet crops up. He sees that Amelia has retweeted an article about the kiss with the simple but effective word Interesting, and Matty’s mind immediately then goes to you.
He quickly goes onto search and types in your name, and gets your account up. He smiles when he sees that the picture of the two of you sitting across from each other is still your pinned tweet but when he sees your latest one he finds himself laughing as he thinks your tweet is even better than Amelia’s.
Ending the year with a bang! Getting (parasocially) cheated on 😍
The singer chuckles a little, your humour shining through even in your tweets.
After gathering a few memes for the boys, Matty heads to Instagram to do the same thing. But obviously, he gets a little sidetracked looking through peoples stories after he can’t be bothered scrolling to find any funny content.
He bypasses the few that were about him from fan accounts that he follows, not even blinking an eye at what they had to say. But then when he swipes to see what other Instagram stories he fancies being nosy at and he sees the ring around your profile picture.
When he taps on you, he sees a picture of you that looks like it’s taken from a badly directed music video from the 2000s where you look heartbroken looking out of a car window. But what makes it worse is that you have maybe the most depressing Phoebe Bridgers lyrics from Moon Song playing over it.
And Matty knows just from, ‘Stuck your tongue down the throat of somebody / Who loves you more’ that you’ve posted this in reaction to last night's stage antics.
Without a second thought he’s going to his contacts to pull up your number and when he finds it, he instantly calls you.
You get startled by the loud ring of your phone and when you see his name on the screen, you silently panic. There’s no way you’re picking up because only the prospect of having a conversation with him today after everything that’s been going on online has you nervous.
But despite you having let the call go to voicemail, he calls you again and this time you just can’t keep ignoring him so you wait a few seconds before you pick up.
Matty doesn’t even say hi first because he needs to know if you’re actually serious about the whole thing and he wants to know, “Phoebe. Really? Are you kidding me?”
You have to swallow a chuckle so you can keep your act up, “I’m having a bad day, I needed the depressive state to hit hard. Can you blame me?”
He sighs loudly to dramatise it all even more, “But Phoebe? Especially that song… fucking hell.”
“Okay, let me be.” You joke with a stern tone but that flies over his head because now he doesn’t know if you’re properly upset by what he’s said.
So then you hear the characteristic sound of Facetime coming through, and it’s him trying to see your face.
You shuffle in your seat, quickly trying to brush the ends of your hair to look presentable without making too much noise because he can still hear you so when you accept the switch to Facetime, you give him a shy smile and a soft, “Hello.”
“Hey,” Matty says back, brushing his curls back with his hand and you can see he’s laying in bed as the sunlight comes into the room he’s in. “What you doing?”
You shrug, looking ahead to where your TV’s playing a rerun of Sherlock, “Not much, just watching telly.”
He hums, analysing intently every bit of your face and your tone, “You alright?”
“Yes.” You snort softly at his concern but you know Matty wants you to bring it up, but you won’t give it him that straight away.
Sincerely, you ask, “How’s tour going?”
“Yeah,” Matty nods, a ghost of a smile on his lips as he answers, “Good, thank you.”
Still not yet giving into him, you question, “How is it being called Maddy instead of Matty everywhere you go?”
The singer snorts at you taking a dig at the American accents he’s been hearing non-stop.
“Oh it’s a delight,” The singer lets sarcasm ring in his voice, but then he asks you, “How’s back home?” because he’s not bringing the kiss up first.
“Wet and rainy, as per usual.” You sigh, “It’s meant to be getting colder though soon.”
“Lovely,” Matty smiles the tiniest bit, finding it silently funny how you’re both purposefully not addressing what he’s called about. “I’m glad I’m in a warm country then.”
“Yeah, how is America?” You keep the vaguely awkward conversation going.
“It’s alright, nothing much to rave about but the gigs are good.” Matty says before pressing his lips together as he’s got the conversation back to where he wanted it, not really leaving you with much choice but to bring it up now.
You say a small, “Good.” instead of going in straight away with what he’s baited you into bringing up.
You knew it would come around sooner or later and you know that’s why he has a smile playing on those lips of his. You just decide to draw it out like you would on one of your chicken shop dates to make it a little more awkward before the inevitable laughter.
“So…” You start.
Matty raises an eyebrow, “So?”
You just bite the bullet and ask, “Was it a good kiss?
Matty laughs loudly at the direct question and you really are silently battling between an awkward laugh yourself or keeping your unbothered facade up.
“Yeah, it was okay.” Matty chuckles as he watches your reaction intently.
Keeping a straight face, you hum like another wave of jealousy doesn’t hit you when his words hit your ears. But instead of wallowing like you know you shouldn’t, you say, “She was pretty.”
Matty smirks finally getting you where he wanted but he takes the opportunity to flirt with you instead, “To be honest, I’m thinking about how much I can’t wait for New Years.”
You roll your eyes playfully, a tinge of a smile breaking on your face for a second before falling back to a blank expression, “Yeah, seems so… Kissing other girls.”
Matty’s smirk grows bigger, reaching his eyes as he’s able to witness your humour again. “This is why I needed to see your face.” He starts and you’re about to ask why but he goes faster than you, being quick to explain his point. “‘Cause I can’t quite tell when you’re joking or not over the phone yet.”
You don’t really know what to say to that so you just laugh at his struggle and when a slightly awkward silence settles between you, he brings the incident back up but of course in a teasing manner. “What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, baby.”
“Right.” You say meekly, letting your facial expression stay stoic.
And that has Matty doubting your mood again, “Oh come on, you’re not really upset are you?” His eyebrows raise trying to tell if you’re putting up an act or not, so he continues to assure you, “I didn’t bring her with me, I promise.”
What you don’t expect is for him to raise his phone to show you the empty bed beside him and that would’ve been something you could’ve joked about if he wasn’t shirtless and you had a clear view of his Calvin Klein boxers barely covering his We Are Kings tattoo.
Your throat goes dry and all of your thoughts tangle, making you unable to form a sentence back. Your whole act has fallen now and it’s so clear to see how that has affected you so Matty smiles all smug to see he has that power over you.
“I’m excited for New Years.” He says again now that he’s got you back on his side.
But what Matty doesn’t expect is for you to only say, “That’s nice.” and not agree with him.
He pouts a little, “Why are you being like that?”
You simply shrug, “Because I’ve not been asked to do anything on New Years yet.” and you try to stop the small smile tugging at the corners of your lips.
And that’s when he realises the lack of a proper proposition from him to you for the holiday. “You’ll have to wait until I’m back off tour, love.” Matty says smugly, trying to get you to laugh.
When you reply, “So you can kiss more fit girls?” immediately, it’s him who’s laughing. It’s certainly very interesting seeing you looking green from jealousy.
“How do I make it up to you?”
Seeing him continuously try to explain himself and now this has you knowing you need to give him a break, so you chuckle your way out of your act. “I’m only joking, sorry. I’m just being pouty because I’m lonely and on my period.”
Maybe it wasn’t the best thing to admit, but it’s the truth and you feel no need to lie to him.
Matty coos at you, “Awh, do you want a cuddle?”
You’re well aware he’s only teasing but at the memory of it, you’d love a cuddle from him right now so you barely have time to process it before you find yourself saying, “I wouldn’t turn one down.”
He laughs loudly, letting his head go back further into the pillows and the sound is so contagious you start giggling with him. You find yourself scooting down your bed so you can lie down a little bit so you can be comfy and do the same.
By now, Matty just wants to hear you talking about everything that has been going on for you. He’s seen things going around on social media about places you’ve been and very interesting people you’ve met and he just wants to hear all about it.
“How did Amelia's last date go?” He asks first, the latest teaser of the next date to be uploaded had showed up on his main page not long ago and that was the first thing to come to mind.
He watches as you smile at the memory of it, and you tell him, “It was quite funny actually considering he doesn’t show his face.”
“When's your next date?” Matty asks curiously.
He’s definitely going to be taking a mental note so he can message you and double check that his was still your favourite.
“I have Phoebe’s coming up and the next one is in two weeks I think.” Matty can see you thinking about it, but then your screen wobbles a little and he can see you’re searching for something on your phone so he knows you’re checking. You confirm, “Yeah, I’ve got Elijah from Inhaler in a fortnight so that should be an interesting one.”
Matty frowns a little, not really knowing any of the lads in Inhaler very well, “Which one’s Elijah?”
“Elijah-” You start but then you just say the name he will know for certain, “Bono’s son.”
“Bono?” Matty cackles, “Like from U2?”
“Yeah, I’m collecting nepo babies now.” You smirk, “Thought you’d realise since I started with you.”
Matty narrows his eyes and shakes his head at you then. All before he tells you, “Hope it goes terrible.”
You pout at that, calling him, “Nasty.”
But you realise he was just playfully saying it because he surprises you by admitting, “I want mine to be the best.”
Something about that makes your chest a lot less heavy than it has been all day. Whether he’s joking or not, which it really doesn’t seem like he is, it does wonders for your heart.
You feel like you’re melting as you admit, “It always will be to me. You don’t have competition there.”
The earnest admission makes the singer get a fuzzy feeling in his chest. But instead of addressing it, he just smiles as he watches you snuggle yourself in bed a little more, pulling the blanket you lent him up over a month ago now and you wrap it around your shoulders.
Matty hums, only half joking when he says, “Yeah, you’re only gonna be able to break the internet with me.”
“Seems like now I can’t escape you honestly,” You tell him, “Been tagged in shit all day.”
“Oh yeah, twitter has been fun hasn’t it?” Matty smiles back at you, thinking back to all the cheater comments.
You giggle a little, “So many Phoebe lyrics.”
Matty chuckles at that, but then he thinks back to the story you put on and jokes, “You know, Car Radio by Twenty One Pilots would have fitted that picture of you just as well.”
You snort before laughing, “You’re a dickhead.”
“But you love me still.” Matty smirks.
You hum to acknowledge what he said but you don’t give him a definitive answer. Instead, you end up yawning and you cover your mouth so he can’t see before rolling onto your side and snuggling properly into your pillow. You still hold your phone up so you can continue your conversation with the curly haired man.
The singer states, “It’s too early for you to be that tired.”
“I’ve had a long and hard day.” You lightheartedly chuckle, feeling so much better now than you did when you were last wrapped up in bed this morning.
“I promise you she’s not here, don’t go being upset.” Matty assures you and even offers you more proof, “I’ll show you the bathroom if you want.”
“No stop, I wasn't saying anything to make you feel bad,” You quickly tell him, not wanting to come across as needy or weird. It’s really the last thing you wanted to do as you were only joking. “It’s been a long day for a lot of reasons… I'm not being weirdly possessive when we’ve only kissed a few times. I-”
“No, but I’ve seen someone who I fancy kiss other people in front of me and it’s not the best feeling.” Matty interrupts you, feeling the need to stop you from spiralling like he knows you were definitely about it. He continues, “Especially when it’s being shoved down your throat like it probably has been for you today… Listen I’m not promising I’m not going to kiss anyone else, because I get carried away when performing and I definitely will. But I can promise you if it’s on stage or whilst I’m performing it doesn’t mean anything.”
Feeling the panic still in your chest though, you have to tell him, “You don’t have to explain yourself Matty.”
This was the exact reason why you didn’t want to message him in the first place. The last thing you wanted to do was give him the ick like you’re sure you are doing right now.
Matty is far from feeling that though. He just smiles as he tells you in a hopeful tone, “No, but there’s sort of a second date on the cards and I wanna make sure I'm still in your good books so I don’t get stood up.”
It's a little unbelievable to you that he’s talking about a second date still, especially after this last conversation. It definitely takes you back a little, but you sort of revert back to your default settings when you end up smiling and telling him, “I wouldn’t stand anyone up… I’m too much of a professional for that.”
Matty grins, seeing that you’ve calmed down now. But it doesn’t stop him from trying to make you blush, so he adds, “And you fancy me.”
He sees the embarrassment flood your face then, and you try to hide yourself into your pillow as you admit, “I don’t like that you know that I fancy you… You have a lot of cards in your hand.”
He chuckles at that, but he doesn’t hesitate to say, “Well I’ll return some cards, because I fancy you right back.”
You can feel your cheeks absolutely burning at this, and you instruct him, “Okay, stop trying to make me blush.”
Matty’s grin is huge, and you can’t help but think that his messy curls make him look all the more cute. It's a sight you would certainly love to wake up to every morning. You find yourself envying his past girlfriends even more than you already did.
“I’m being serious though.” Matty tells you, and you find your heart is beating erratically as you he’s basically just told you again that he fancies you.
Never in your wildest dreams did you think you’d ever hear that.
“Stop it.” You whine as you fully hide into your pillow now.
The sight makes Matty laugh, but he keeps going. He rolls over on his side too, and it’s almost like you’re both in bed together again as you’re so invested in the sight of each other and this conversation.
Matty shamelessly flirts, “Your dress at the GQ Awards, I wanted to take it off you.”
Your heart stops hearing that, but you know why he’s said it when he continues, “Just like you wanted to take my suit off me on our date… Glad I finally know what you said in Spanish to me now.”
And he’s not even joking when he said he wanted to take the dress off you. You looked fucking stunning in the black sequin dress. The thigh slit that had your skin on show for all of your interviews had his dick twitching in his jeans when he saw the pictures you posted.
Your boobs looked fucking brilliant as well, and the fact you only had a thin gold necklace on left your neck looking bare and Matty wanted to mark it up. The memory of it has him aching, and if he was at the awards as well, there was no doubt he would have asked to take you home.
And seeing you blushing, looking all awkward and embarrassed at his admission through the phone has him smiling like a fool. Despite wanting to flirt more with you, he gives you a small break and asks you about that particular evening.
“Looks like both you and Amelia will be doing the Andrew Garfield date when you get it.” Matty smiles.
You eyes go wide, “You saw that?”
“Course I did.” Matty nods, but he needs you to know he really wasn’t joking about the dress, “In all seriousness though, you looked gorgeous by the way.”
A shy and embarrassed smile finds its way onto your face as you tell him, “Thank you.”
Matty thinks back to your interview with the actor and he starts laughing, “Your faces when he knew who you were had me in stitches.”
His giggles have your heart warming, but you get all embarrassed again for different reasons.
“I couldn’t believe it, it was the weirdest moment of my life.” It still doesn’t feel real when it leaves your tongue, “Spider-Man knows who I am. It’s mental.”
The both of you end up laughing a little at that, and you talk a little more about it until the singer thinks back to another of your guests that you interviewed.
“Did you see the way Eddie from Stranger Things looked at you after you flirted with him?” Matty chuckles, remembering that one was funny too, “I was like he’s definitely not seen a Chicken Shop Date before.”
“Matty, I was so embarrassed.” You cover your eyes with your free hand then and Matty chuckles at your despair. “I went inside and found him and apologised and explained myself.”
He isn't surprised at all by this, as you seem like the people pleasing type, so he tries to make you feel better, “That’s on him, he should be watching your dates.”
You laugh at that, knowing he’s not entirely wrong, but Joe was so adorable, you have to defend him, “Leave him alone, he's so lovely.”
Matty hums before moving on to another part of the interviews that made him laugh, “Also never needed another sign that you’re bi. Your reaction to the girl from Euphoria was so funny... She nearly had you as flustered as I make you.”
“Stop it.” You gasp, once again mortified but this time a little giggle, “I was trying not to be obvious but did you see what she was wearing.”
“No,” Matty shakes his head and smiles, “I was too busy looking at you in that sparkly dress.”
Taking a deep breath, you elect to ignore the comment because your cheeks are already flaming and you don’t need another reason for him to direct you towards an early heart attack.
“See, I like it when you go all embarrassed on me.” Matty grins as you hide again, “I’m doing something right.”
You say more into your pillow than to him, just wanting to disappear, “I’m just British and can’t take a compliment.”
“And you fancy me,” Matty reminds you as if you didn’t already know, “So you’re blushing even more.”
At that you fully just move your phone so he can only see the ceiling of your room. His cackle echoes out of your speakers and you fully try and suffocate yourself in your pillow.
You really thought you were smooth with your flirting and being subtle about everything but you’re a full simp at this point. You just want to die from the embarrassment you feel.
“Stop hiding.” You hear Matty tell you, and he reiterates, “I fancy you too and I’m not hiding.”
Hearing that again makes you want to scream into your pillow.
He pleads, “Come back.” in a whiney voice and after you compose yourself for a second, you pick up your phone and see his adorable grin again.
He takes a moment to appreciate your flushed face and your embarrassed smile before he smiles, “Hi.”
“Hi.” You say softly back trying to get your emotions in order.
Matty points out as he grins at you, “You look tired.”
“I am.” You nod.
“Isn’t it like quarter to eleven over there?” Matty asks, checking if his maths is right.
You nod, confirming it is and you smile, “Like I said, long day… And I’m always sleepy, just so you know.”
“‘Course you are.” Matty chuckles, and he can see your eyes getting a little droopy, so he tells you, “I’ll let you go then, goodnight baby.”
Your heart melts hearing the pet name again, and you grin back, “Night Matty.”
“Miss you already.” He grins, his heart warm seeing you all cosy in bed. He can’t help but wish he was there with you.
You want to silently scream, but instead you just let him see your genuine big grin and you say back, “You too.”
Your heart skips a beat when he blows you kiss, before waving, “Night.”
“Night.” You hum and blow one back to him before pressing the red button to end the call.
~*~*~*~
Waking up the next morning is a rollercoaster of emotions because whilst you first get slapped awake by the memory of FaceTiming Matty, the second you unlock your phone you are met with yet another reminder of Matty antics during his gigs.
You smile this time, seeing that last night he brought a guy on stage and the way he’s beaming at Matty with his eyes almost sparkling at the sight of the singer in front of him. Matty sat him down on the settee that was on stage and sat on his lap as he performed and then, when the moment in Robbers happened, he pulled him in for a rather hot kiss.
Your cheeks find themselves heating up as you giggle watching it all on the screen of your phone, and you let out a little screech seeing how Matty went in for a second kiss before the lad was pulled off stage.
This time you have to admit it didn’t hurt as much as the Vegas kiss, and whilst your heart still felt like it had been poked with a needle, it was more bearable.
Scrolling through Twitter, you end up laughing at the different range of reactions from everyone and your laughter gets louder when you see the guy who had gotten the kiss explain what he had to do for it to happen with a simple screenshot of what he had typed on his phone as a sign for Matty to see.
The fact that the guy had only had to show his phone as it said ‘Give a guy a try’ and that was enough for Matty to pull him on stage had you creasing.
And it certainly made you take it all in a lighter way, letting the slight jealousy you felt inside die down.
To add some fuel to the fire, when you’re making yourself some breakfast a little bit later, you take a selfie and post it on your Instagram stories with Jealousy by Pale Waves playing in the background and simply writing, Tune of the day x
You know that everyone will know what you’re referring to as you can hear the first verse of the song ‘Jealousy is haunting me / So bad I'm biting my tongue / It gets so hard to breathe / Wish you were mine from day one / Don't mention any other name / That doesn't sound like mine, yeah’
You’re very glad to be in a different timezone to Matty because that assures you that he won’t get to see what you post about it all right away when you’re most vulnerable to overthink it and just delete your reactions.
And maybe it’s that thought that has you brave enough to post to your stories the picture you’ve just seen of them singing into the same microphone saying, @rass1975 I slept on you king, please go on a date with me? x
Adding another story a few minutes later, this time of a picture of Alex Turner and Miles Kane singing into the same microphone as well, Just had to post this one too because this scenario is speaking to me right now… (you guys think Amelia would mind if I asked to go on a date with 4 guys?)
You seriously forget about having posted that until you get a notification as you’re getting ready for bed. And it has you giggling when you see it’s Matty saying, Am I not enough for you? x but your breath hitches when he follows it up with, Greedy girl xx
You pretend to not see it until the next morning just to gather some courage to reply overnight but you can’t find it in yourself when you open it the next morning and all you can do is internally scream at the thought of hearing him saying that to you.
It’s certainly unfair the effect he has on you.
And you continue to be reminded of that when, as the days go by and the North American tour keeps rolling, you suffer heart palpitations over the things he does on stage. Especially all the variations of the Consumption interlude which gets you flustered and amazed at the same time.
The anticipation grows in the pit of your stomach as time goes by, being reminded constantly of the New Years promise every time you saw a video of the band performing Robbers or any time you caught a picture or a clip of Matty smirking at the camera, a facial expression of his that you had gotten to see many times before and that you missed a lot more than you wanted to admit.
Thankfully you have such a busy schedule during the end of the year that the wait for him to come back is easier to bear as you are booked and busy almost every other day.
Loads of events were coming up, with both you and Amelia invited, and it was beyond your understanding how you were attending all those fancy events and people coming up to you genuinely interested in your plans for the future of what you did and any other projects that you were planning.
Not only were you in the list at these events, you actually got to work with the brands and the one that had probably left you most speechless was the Miu Miu Party that you and Amelia got to attend.
You both had been dressed head to toe in the designer brand and you were feeling hot as fuck to say the least, in your mini skirt suit, with a cropped white shirt and a black tie around your neck.
Because of the recent robbers kisses, you decided to kiss your best friend as someone took your picture. It was great, iconic even, and it went on your Instagram as a post which you added the song in the background, the specific bit where Matty has started kissing people, and you wrote the caption, Two can play at that game baby x
The day after that particular event you had woken up to a tweet that you had been tagged in blowing up and you cackled seeing it, trying to ignore the butterflies in your tummy as you read, boyfriend and girlfriend over a picture of Matty in a black suit and you in your outfit from last night, looking like the opposite version of the other.
You know they were joking about it but seeing those words be used to refer to you and Matty made you so delusionally giddy, you had to pinch yourself after 5 minutes to remind yourself that was far from reality.
The kiss with Amelia was a bit of drunk fun and thankfully it all worked out well. You were a little surprised when you saw Matty had messaged you whilst you were asleep. But you expected him to message you something like, Game on, but instead he messaged you saying, Hot xxx and that had you flustered for at least an hour.
In a blink of an eye the whole tour had seemed to pass and it felt like a fever dream that only less than a week ago you were sobbing waking up to videos of Carly performing About You with the guys.
You hadn’t even been able to process that when you saw twitter flooding with pictures of the band at the airport on their way back to the UK and to be honest, you had no idea what to expect or if you should expect anything at all so you were nervous at every moment of the day when your mind wasn’t taken over by work.
Overly aware of every notification on your phone, the messages and any call that you got. And whilst many of them had gotten his name written atop of them, you just felt so ridiculous when you got disappointed at not seeing his name in every single one of them. So you forced yourself to fool yourself and downplay your expectations, basically gaslighting yourself for raising your hopes up this much up until the thought of the New Years promise was at the back of your mind.
A silent whisper that you could ignore during the day but came to steal your sleep like a mosquito buzzing in your ear at night.
~*~*~*~ 23rd December ~*~*~*~
Because of the date, of course that meant you’d had Being Funny on repeat. You had to listen to Wintering as many times as possible, it feels like a law you have to follow. And it’s really no hardship.
As it’s December 23rd, you’ve had so much shit to do today. You’d been so bad and only done the wrapping you had to, which was only your presents that you got your Chicken Shop Date team who you gifted all of those presents to a few days ago as they were all going home for Christmas.
Today you’d been wrapping your family's Christmas presents, along with those you’d got for your friends. You put the most care and effort into wrapping Amelia’s gifts because she really means the world to you, even though she did bully you earlier when you told her you had a full day of wrapping presents before you were both going home together tomorrow.
Thankfully, Amelia is driving the both of you home tomorrow so you can stay with your families, and you have no doubt you’ll spend time with her over the break you’re all having between Christmas and New Year.
You take a break from cutting wrapping paper to grab a drink so with one hand holding your can of Tango and the other scrolling through your phone, you walk back to your previous spot to continue with your chore but before you put your phone aside to forget about it for the next thirty minutes, you quickly go to Spotify to share Wintering on your stories.
@trumanblack Hope you made it home safe x
After you’ve thrown your phone somewhere behind you, you go back to wrapping more presents and time passes as you lose count of how many times you’ve sung loudly ‘I said ‘woman you are 64 years old!’’
You took another break from wrapping when you made your dinner, and all in all you took about an hour to cook and eat. Scorning yourself when you realise it’s already 9pm, you really wish you’d started wrapping earlier. You didn’t know you had this many presents.
This time, you just elect to listen to the song of the day on repeat while you concentrate on neatly folding the paper. However, about 15 minutes into your last bag of presents you had to wrap, there was a sudden loud ring of your doorbell which startled you.
You are fairly confused as you rest the sellotape beside the little box you’re wrapping, standing up quickly when a second ring echoes inside your flat, pausing the music first and when you finally go to open your front door, your face falls at the surprise.
“What the fuck are you doing here?” Is the first thing you manage to say, very fucking confused and with a frown that has Matty thinking he’s just interrupted something very important for you to look at him that way.
He lets out a chuckle, “Hello to you too.”
His sarcasm gets you to snap out of your shock, “Sorry, hi. Come in.”
“Thank you.” Matty grins and steps around you and into your flat, dropping his tote on the ground.
“How did you get up here?” You swore you hadn’t heard your buzzer go so you got worried that you’d had the music too loud and made him wait far too long outside to get in.
“Someone was leaving as I was about to press your buzzer and they let me in.” You breathe in relief as he explains and his smile gets bigger when he recounts, “Made the surprise better.”
It certainly is a surprise because he really was the last person you were expecting to see today. You glance back at the time and see it’s 9:21pm and you’re so confused as to why he’s still in London.
“What are you doing here? You’re meant to be in Manchester.” You scorn because you have been singing the same line about him driving up on the 23rd over and over, and you felt the need to reprimand him as if he’s not kept a promise that was said in the song.
“Did you really think I plan when I'm driving home for Christmas that early in the year, baby?” Matty smirks as he watches you like he’s teasing you for being naive about it. “No, that was about last year's Christmas.”
“But you said your Mum was sixty four and that's how old she is this year.” You explain yourself, not wanting to lose this one argument.
But he has you choking on your spit when he nonchalantly says, “But I also mentioned my Grandad, and considering he died last year I don't think he would have been coming to this year's meal.”
You're speechless for a long few seconds and when you finally gather your thoughts again after such a turn of conversation, you clear your throat to say, “Okay, you didn’t have to make that depressing. Vin seemed like a hoot.”
Matty nods, “He would have loved our date, that’s for sure.” And then he quickly shrugs to turn the whole thing around again, “Anyway, hiya baby, how are you?”
He’s thrown that question into the air, though, because before you can answer he traps you in a kiss that screams just how much he’d missed the feeling of your lips from the way he’s holding you.
One of his hands has a tight grip on your waist as he pulls you into him and the other one cups your jaw delicately while his tongue is hungrily crashing against yours. Feeling and tasting him again makes you hum in delight, his lips feeling so soft against your own and being able to tangle your fingers in his curls ties it all up for you.
You make up for the time apart in that kiss, going for as long as your lungs allow you to deprive them of oxygen. When you part, Matty rubs the apple of your cheek with his thumb and the touch is so soft that it has you leaning into the palm of his hand with a sweet smile which he returns.
Remembering what he had asked you, you quietly reply as you play with the hair at the nape of his neck, twirling his little curls in your fingers. “I'm good,” And he just can’t deal with the small distance between you anymore so he brings you in closer once more to crush you in a tight hug.
“I would have got the welcome home cheater sign out for you but I didn't know you were coming.” You joke breathlessly into his ear and you feel him let out a breathy laugh, the hot air hitting your neck making goosebumps raise on your skin.
Matty pulls back, shaking his head. “God, shut up.”
And once again he grabs a hold of your jaw, this time using both hands to cup your face, to bring you in for a hungry kiss. Your tongues meet almost instantly as if knowing that you can kiss each other again has you both unable to hold back anymore, but it gets increasingly hotter when you pull on his hair and he moans in your mouth.
Unable to find a way to catch his breath to continue the kiss, he has to pull back. Matty rests his forehead on yours with a sigh and closed eyes. “I missed you.”
“Yeah, I missed you too.” You reciprocate, leaving one last peck on his parted swollen lips which makes a smile tug at the corner of them. “Should I go get tested now? You’ve kissed a lot of mouths since you last kissed mine.”
Matty opens his eyes, standing back up straight to look at your face and when he sees your smirk, he warns, “Careful, your jealousy is showing.”
You laugh but it’s interrupted when he can’t hold back another kiss. You just looked so stunning in front of him, in such a mundane setting, joking around and after being deprived of your presence for far too long. It's a little overwhelming how you make him feel when he’s with you, it’s like he’s known of you and has been this close to you for a lot longer than he actually has. It’s so easy with you.
The way he finds himself to be able to say all of this is through kisses and he truly doesn’t mind using that as his medium for communication. He just hopes that you feel the same way about him and that’s why you’re kissing him back with just as much enthusiasm.
He wishes human bodies had been designed better because he finds himself mentally cursing when you both need to break the kiss from lack of breath.
Once your hazy mind comes down from the multiple kisses you’ve just shared, there's a moment of realisation when you process all of this is really playing out in your flat. You’re confused to say the least so you repeat your earlier question.
“What are you doing here?” You have to ask, “You should be at home, I've been playing Wintering all day for nothing.”
Matty chuckles a little at that but he holds you close to him as he starts explaining himself.
“Well, a few things actually.” Matty starts revealing with ease, “Had to come and see you before I went home for a start.”
You nod slowly, not really able to really process how or why he’s made you one of his priorities at bloody Christmas time.
But all your efforts to truly grasp what’s going on fly out the window when he continues, “Second, I have to do this…” and suddenly he drops on one knee in front of you like he’s about to fucking propose. His grin is huge as he asks, “Y/N, will you please go on a date with me this New Years Eve?”
Your eyes go wide for a second, your blood running cold as your brain slowly catches up with what he’s said. When you realise it’s just Matty being Matty, you shake your head at him and raise an eyebrow to challenge his behaviour, “Has anyone ever told you you're dramatic?”
“Yes, someone does almost every day.” Matty nods almost proudly.
You scoff playfully at his self awareness, “Not surprised.”
Rolling his eyes as he fakes annoyance, Matty talks back, “Are you going to give me an answer or are you keeping me down here on purpose?”
“You look great on your knees.” You say suggestively, not really lying because he indeed looks very pretty from this angle.
But you’re the one who ends up receiving the teasing when he turns it around, “Somehow I imagine not as good as you do.”
You bite your tongue, trying hard not to blush to satisfy him. “Yes I’ll go out with you,” You act as if you’re defeated saying that and then wave your hands up, “Now stand up.”
Not even acknowledging your antics, Matty only rises to his feet with a beaming smile on his face and grabs a hold of your waist with both his hands to pull you into him. He’s grinning like a fool when he admits, “I already can’t wait.”
Your arms come to wrap around his shoulders and you allow yourself to show some affection by bringing one of your hands to scratch his scalp softly at the nape of his neck. “That's very cute of you.” You let your head tilt to the side and Matty melts inside seeing your eyes gleaming at him.
The singer then sees your eyes flick up to his hair though and he loves it when you smile and hum, “See, your hair looks so much better natural.”
You reach up and give his curls a little ruffle and you grin when he chuckles. You half style his unruly hair a little so it falls over his forehead slightly and when you lean back a little to admire your work, you hum in approval.
Matty just watches you, hands still on your hips holding you against him, but you reach up again to twist one specific ringlet round your finger a few times before you check him again, and nod, “There we go, perfect.” and you let your fingers root themselves back into the curls at the nape of his neck.
“Thanks baby.” Matty grins and leans down to quickly catch your lips again, but you’re both too smiley for it to continue for too long.
Feeling the way your fingers are still playing with the ends of his hair though, Matty pulls away and softly says, “Don’t start playing with it because I won’t want you to stop.”
“Could just not be a pussy and ask me to play with it? I wouldn’t say no.” You grin, but let your hands fall back to his shoulders and Matty bites his tongue and shakes his head at your teasing.
You chuckle at his reaction before you ask another question.
“How was your tour? Were the Americans good to you?” It was a genuine question, having seen so many moments of him enjoying life on the road over there, especially during that livestream he’d done of him and George playing about in the lounge of the tour bus.
“They always are.” Is the short answer Matty gives you so you feel the need to tease some more things out of him.
“Believe you’re dating an influencer now.” You laugh a little, clearly knowing everything online was bullshit as he was messaging you a lot of the time.
“The fact anyone thinks I’d date a Republican is hilarious in itself.” Matty laughs humorlessly, being done with all the shit he’d heard and how it had gotten out of control when the girl had openly referred to him as her boyfriend. As if.
“Not to mention I just got to my knees to ask you out.” He brings back around only to see you blush again and he’s pleased to see you averting your eyes from him as you flush again.
He gives you a small break and distracts you and asks, “What have you been up to today?”
“I’ve just been getting ready to go home.” You tell him honestly, “This morning I was packing my case and then spent most of the day cleaning. And I’ve almost finished my wrapping now.”
Glancing at that last bag of presents, you realise that is now the last thing you want to continue doing whilst you have company.
Matty asks, “When do you go?”
“Amelia’s coming to get me tomorrow morning.”
You watch as his face lights up then, and he smiles, “Amazing.”
“Why?” You raise an eyebrow, wondering what’s so amazing about you leaving tomorrow.
“Well, I can stay here tonight now.” Matty fully grins at you now and you scoff a little whilst you laugh.
You point a finger at his chest and tell him, “You’re cheeky.”
But he pulls you a little closer to him and he smirks, “Are you going to turn me away?” knowing the answer straight away before he even asked.
“No.” You playfully glare at him, trying not to get embarrassed. And after tapping his chest again, you educate him, like you would a small child, “But you shouldn't assume.”
“I didn’t,” Matty tells you honestly, “If you were going home, I would have just driven back tonight, was on my way when I stopped to come see you.”
“Don’t stay for me,” You say, feeling increasingly bad if you’re stopping him from going home. “You need to see your family.”
Matty just looks at you so sincerely, it melts your heart when he says, “But I want to see you.”
With an embarrassingly gooey feeling in your stomach, you press your lips together and pull out of his hold as you walk towards your kitchen and ask, “Can I make you a brew?”
Matty follows you saying, “I’d love one, please.” and you quickly fill up the kettle and flick the switch for it to boil.
As you get two mugs out and the teabags and sugar, you ask, “How’d you take it?”
Instantly, Matty smirks seeing his opportunity clear as day, “Shouldn’t it be me asking y-”
“Stop being crude,” You interrupt him as you put your fingers over his lips giving him knowing eyes. You repeat your question, asking seriously, “How do you want me to make your tea?”
Matty laughs beneath your fingers and you only remove them when he licks them to get you off him. You playfully glare at him before the singer tells you how he likes his drink and the both of you happily chat away as you make the brews.
The both of you stay in there talking about his tour for a little while and you make him give you the interesting details. You find it all mesmerising and you find yourself asking him even more questions about it, which leads to the both of you going back into your lounge and sitting down beside each other to chat.
That is until the both of you finish your brews and the singer catches sight of his tote bag that he put down earlier. “Oh!” Matty says as he gets up from his seat quickly to go and grab it.
You watch as he brings it back over and takes his seat again, closer to you this time though. His smile is so big as he looks back at you, “I got you these.” and out of his tote Matty hands you two messily wrapped gifts, the red and green striped paper makes you smile brightly at him. He puts them into your lap whilst saying a soft, “Merry Christmas baby.”
You bite your bottom lip looking down at the gifts and back up to him, letting your lip go to pout at him. “Matty, you really didn't have to do that... I didn’t think I was going to see you, I’ve not got you anything, fuck.”
God, you feel so fucking bad, but you never thought you would see Matty before Christmas and you’d convinced yourself you weren’t going to see him afterwards either so you didn’t get anything. Your brain is working a thousand miles per hour trying to figure out if there is anything that you could give him right here and now.
“I don't want anything. I just saw the smaller one whilst I was away and I thought of you so I bought it for you.” Matty stops your panic and over thinking at the same time he melts your heart. “The larger one is like our inside joke, but I don't want anything in return.”
His reassurance is cute but the fact that he was away and still thinking of you enough to buy you Christmas presents has your heart aching for him. You keep on looking at them in complete awe. Matty Healy got you Christmas presents.
Whilst you’re excited to see what he’s got you, you keep that underwraps like these presents won’t be the first ones you open Christmas morning. But the man beside you has other ideas.
“Are you going to sit there and stare at them or are you going to open them?” Matty looks at you expectantly.
You’re the tiniest bit hesitant and you stumble upon saying, “It’s not Christmas yet though.”
“Don’t be one of those.” Matty shakes his head and looks at you like a giddy child and says, “I’m telling you to open them now. I wanna see your reaction.”
“Which one should I open first?” You ask shyly, letting the excitement bubbling up inside you finally show.
Matty’s just beaming at your child-like giddiness, taking a mental picture of it. “Whichever you’d like, baby.”
You hum as you debate which one to do first and you decide to save the bigger one for last. So you grab the tiny little bag he’s made out of wrapping paper and internally coo at his attempts of keeping it neat with a lot of tape.
At first, you’re delicately trying to open it but he rolls his eyes and tells you to “Just rip it.” and you do just that.
On your lap falls a little chicken nugget keyring that makes you gasp loudly and when you pick it up you let out a loud, “Awh!”
That has Matty laughing softly, it was a small little thing that had reminded him of you and her you were clutching it to your chest like it was a diamond.
“I love it! Thank you Matty.” You quickly lean to the side and hug him as tight as you can from the position you’re in.
Matty’s arm, the one that’s not trapped against the back of the settee, wraps around your waist and he squeezes you gently, “Glad you like it baby.”
“Love it.” You correct and you decide to be a little selfish and stay in his hold a little longer.
With one last squeeze, you lean back into your spot and pick up the big box item to put it on your lap. You look down at it, staring at it really as if you could see through the paper.
Matty can’t help but encourage you like an impatient child, “Come on, open it.”
In your head, you’re trying to guess which inside joke it is that he was referring to earlier with this gift but your mind blanks. This time you’re faster at tearing the wrapping paper to find out what it is.
You let out a loud cackle when you see it’s a heated blanket, the memory from your joke about being cold on the date coming back to the forefront of your mind.
“Oh this is fucking brilliant, thank you so much.” You quickly say in between giggles.
But it’s the perfect opportunity for Matty to test the waters so he adds with a smirk, “That one’s a joint gift.”
You frown a little when he says that because you have no idea what he means and he can read it on your face so he continues, “With me.”
It’s truly a miracle you don’t burst out laughing at his suave way of flirting, putting up a questioning act by raising an eyebrow at him.
“Was thinking we could cuddle under it later.” Matty adds suggestively and that’s when you let out a snort of amusement.
You’re grinning like an idiot when you tease him, “You really are a cheeky bastard, aren’t you?”
It’s his turn to raise his eyebrows at you then, “Think you’re meant to say “thank you’.”
“I already did, dickhead.” You fail at not laughing, your amusement shining through and breaking your facade. Putting the box down, you pivot in your seat so you can lean over and hug him properly and it’s a tight hug where you tell him, “In all seriousness though, thank you so much.”
“Anytime baby.” Matty says as he hugs you back.
In his hold, you’re once again baffled by how surreal the situation is. You have Matty Healy in your flat, hugging you after he’s just given you Christmas presents. How the fuck did this happen?
You’d be even more thrown aback if you could read Matty’s thoughts which were all over the place, thinking about how he couldn’t wait to move to the big settee and use the blanket as an excuse to cuddle you again. He’s been thinking about it since he left you that morning.
His attempt to be casual about it prematurely dies when he just can’t hide the eagerness in his voice as he unwraps his arms from around you and asks, “Shall we get the blanket out now then?”
You’re blushing fast and easy under his stare but you act nonchalantly to appear like the suggestion hasn’t made butterflies erupt in your stomach. “I need to finish wrapping before we cuddle, Mister Healy.” You did need to do it but it was more so you had more time to get your bearings together.
His face falls slightly, remembering he came unannounced. “Sorry for interrupting.”
“Don’t apologise at all.” It’s a quick response because truly it was nothing. He had just made your day by dropping by and the fact that he wanted to stay had you giddy to see what could happen throughout the evening.
You and Matty laugh and talk about what your Christmases are usually like when you go back home as you sit on the floor just in front of him and finish wrapping. And you love that you both get on like a house on fire, you could honestly sit and chat to him for days on end and not get bored or annoyed by him.
Matty is keen to know a lot about you though, and you tell him anything he wants to know. Where you grew up, how you met Amelia, what your school was like for you, when did you move to London. And Matty loved listening to your anecdotes. He really wasn’t joking when he said that he would listen if you started a podcast. He loves the sound of your voice.
When you finish wrapping, you put all of the presents back into the bag so you can easily take them back into your room. You tell your guest that you’ll be just a minute and you walk back to your room and put the bag of presents beside the rest of them.
As you’re about to head back out to Matty though, you spot the big cardboard box in the corner of your room that hasn’t moved for months and it’s like a lightbulb goes off in your head. You rush over to it and open it and you praise the lord when you see everything’s still in there.
When you and Amelia first started doing chicken shop dates, you never thought that there would be a demand for merch to go alongside it. But now your current collections are entirely sold out on your website as you wait for new stock to come in. However, here in your room are the samples that were made and after stealing your own, you left the other ones in the box.
Quickly, you pull out a black one that has the chicken shop date logo in an arrow heart where the breast pocket would be on a shirt. It's a simple design but you absolutely love the hoodies as they’re so soft, you always have yours on.
You get a larger size out, recalling Matty’s instagram stories and how he’s always in baggy jumpers and you hope to god he likes it enough to accept as a very last minute present.
You’re about to step out of your room when you realise it’d be better if he closed his eyes so he could still be surprised as you can’t wrap it now. So you call out to him from your bedroom door, “Hold out your hands and close your eyes.”
He turns and frowns at your instructions, which makes you thankful you’d already hid the hoodie behind your back. Matty asks you, “Why?”
You plead, your voice soft and hopeful, “Please just do it...”
And just because of how you say it, he agrees to it with a simple, “Okay.”
You see him close his eyes and turn back around so he’s facing the right way again, and you quickly walk back around and stop in front of him. His hands are out waiting like you instructed him to and you hope to God he likes it.
“Okay open.” You instruct with excitement in your voice.
Matty opens his eyes right away and his jaw falls slightly, wanting to coo at the gift. “Oh my word, chicken shop date merch!”
The singer holds up the hoodie in front of him to check out the full thing and he genuinely loves it as he didn’t actually know you did merch. It’s a lovely surprise and he definitely will be wearing it. He feels like an excited child despite him playfully joking, “It's just what I wanted.” as he knows it’s a last minute present. But he doesn’t care, he’s over the moon.
Matty drops the hoodie to the side of his lap and he opens his arms to signal to you that he wants a hug. You giggle at him as you lean down and clutch him as tight as you can in the weird position of you standing and him sitting.
But Matty pulls you onto his lap, making you straddle him for a moment so he can trap you in a crushing hug, “Thank you.”
His reaction to the hoodie is so cute to you and you can’t wipe the smile off your face. You say softly into his ear, “I will get you something better I promise, it's all I have here on short notice.”
But Matty shakes his head lightly before pulling back. He makes sure to put the hoodie on, over his shirt before he says, “Don't get me anything, this is all I need. This will be staying on for Christmas dinner.”
You giggle seeing him completely drown in the piece of clothing, the sleeves hiding half his hands so only his fingers are opting out of them. “I can get you a smaller one if you want it less baggy.”
“No, baggier the better.” Matty assures, “More cosy… Come here.”
He snakes his arm around your waist and brings you flush into his chest, leaving kisses all over your face in gratitude, finishing off by trapping your lips in a soft long kiss.
You both take advantage of the daze the kiss leaves you in so it’s no overthinking and no questions when you continue kissing for a little bit. You really wanted to keep them coming but you find yourself shying away as you overthink a little what’s happening.
So you lean back to look at him, all rosy cheeks, dishevelled hair and reddened lips, those brown eyes looking all around your face and his gaze is so intense that it has you needing to stand up from his lap and take a deep breath as you cover it by getting the heated blanket that was forgotten on the floor.
You slowly open the box, taking out the blanket and resting it on the arm of your bigger settee. And then you suddenly act all interested in wanting to read the instructions for it as if it took more than putting some batteries in and pushing a few buttons but it was just so you could ignore the way you felt he was staring at you.
With the way your hair had fallen to cover the sides of your face, you couldn’t see him but you just knew he was smirking watching you act like he wasn’t there just because you’d gotten flustered a minute ago on his lap.
“We’re finally gonna cuddle then?” Matty teases, making you roll your eyes from the way his voice made you feel.
You hum with your eyes swimming around the letters on the small piece of paper, not acknowledging nor putting together any of the sentences in your head because you were just fully distracted.
What had just happened had all gone to your head in thoughts that you can’t be having in front of him. Not yet anyway.
“Was thinking maybe we could watch a film and check if this works.” You finally turn around to see him then, he watches the way you take in a deep breath when you see him with legs spread wide as he’s lazily sitting on the other settee.
“I’ll just go get some batteries. Be right back.”
You escape to your room like a ghost was chasing you, and he laughs to himself taking in the ease he had to make you react. It made him feel gooey inside knowing that it was all genuine, having the first hand experience of the character you used for the videos and comparing it to how you were with him now.
It doesn’t take you long to come back and he watches you as you carefully put the batteries in and the huge smile on your face when you turn the heater on and the blanket starts warming under you hand.
Matty matches your grin, incapable of keeping it from reaching his eyes as they wrinkle at the edges from just watching you. “D’you like it?”
You look almost amazed at it and so you don’t hesitate to look at him and nod enthusiastically, “Love it.” The heat going up just makes you impatient to get under the blanket so you plop down on your big settee and quickly throw it over yourself.
Snuggling yourself into your settee and clutching the blanket tightly to yourself, you realise he’s still sitting where he had been the whole time.
You frown at him and sound almost annoyed when you think about having to lift the blanket back up after having gotten comfortable. “What are you still doing over there? Come here.” And the way you wave him to come over to you has him smirking.
His steps are slow to tease you and when he finally gets to the edge of the settee, he just stands there looking down at you with the smirk still on his face. “Where do you want me?”
Matty bites his tongue not to laugh when you sigh and roll your eyes with fake exasperation, “Just sit down here, you idiot.”
He makes a show out of getting under the blanket and snuggling up to you. His arm comes around your waist to bring you closer to his side and groans exaggeratedly in pleasure as he gets comfortable.
His lips brush against your temple when he says, “This is well nice.” It makes you shiver despite the growing warmth and he chuckles in your ear at that. “You okay?” His question is playful, trying to tease you but careful enough not to make you uncomfortable.
Shyly you mutter a, “Yes” that sounds more like a question and you pray that the films you’ve started to scroll past catches his eyes and he forgets every single of your telltale signs of just how much he affects you.
But he has this way of also settling your nerves down when he jokes, “How are you so nervous when you’ve literally had your tongue in my mouth?”
“Fuck off Matthew.” You push him away playfully, and the way he laughs at you so wholeheartedly makes you melt. That’s why when he pulls you back into him, you fully cuddle him and let yourself have that moment.
You’re scrolling for a very long minute and still can’t decide what to choose so you quietly ask, “Shall we go for a Christmassy one?”
“If you want to.” Matty hums.
In your heart, you really feel like it’s wrong for you not to choose a Christmas movie so you’re quick to look for the one that’s your go-to.
A chuckle leaves him when you click on ‘Nativity’ and it starts playing. So you turn slightly to look at him and frown as if he had just offended your choice. “What?”
He raises one hand and looks serious to play innocent, “Nothing.”
Your eyes narrow at him in an attempt to appear threatening but the expression falls off your face as soon as you hear the intro to the film.
For the next hour and a half Matty sees a different side of you that he just can’t help but smile permanently at. The way you laugh at the things Mr. Poppy pulls, how you seem so moved by Paul’s failed romance and your quiet singing along with the songs that the kids perform.
Matty had never seen something special about the film before but he reconsidered just because of how much you seemed to enjoy it.
The next film you watch is chosen by Matty, and it’s certainly a big contrast to what you’ve just watched because of course he’s picked ‘American Pie’. But you don’t complain though because you’ve not seen this movie in a while and you’ve forgotten how much it makes you laugh.
You only realise it’s late when the film has ended and you find yourself yawning, “I’m so tired.” Your words muffle as you cover your mouth to yawn.
Looking down at you over your shoulder, Matty’s a little surprised at how relatively early you get tired. 1:23am is not a time he finds himself wanting to go to bed anymore, especially after a spell of touring, so he has to ask, “How do you manage when you're on a night out?”
You freeze for a second knowing how much worse your answer is gonna make you look but you quietly admit, “I take a nap in advance.”
Matty chuckles at your answer, “You are…” he trails off not even managing to get exactly what to say because he just finds you so fucking adorable that he feels the urge to kiss you again.
His hand comes to wrap around your neck softly and turns your head to the side so that you can meet him in the middle. You feel his smile on your lips at first but since the angle is tricky for you to keep your direction, Matty ends up having to tighten his hold slightly and when you moan softly in response, he’s gone.
You feel something shift in the air when you twist towards him a little more so you can keep the kiss going. Matty deepens the kiss and it has your heart racing and chest aching with want. You want him so very badly.
When you need air, you pull back and with a spark of confidence, you turn back around to switch the blanket off before you lift it up and stand.
“Let’s go.” You stretch your hand out for him to take and seeing the shadow of mischief on your face, he smirks and reaches out for it.
Walking to your room, there’s that unspoken knowledge that something is about to happen and there’s a buzz in both of you that it’s so clear to see when you catch a glimpse of each other's eyes.
You walk through your bedroom door and the fact that you close it behind you has Matty smirking that you’ve already decided he’s staying in bed with you tonight. Again.
He takes off his shoes under your intent stare that tries to memorise every little thing he does as he moves.
You let your eyes wander around his back, the marked muscles showing through his white shirt, and when he comes to stand back up, you’re caught looking him up and down again.
“Like what you see?”
You shrug, “Meh, it’s alright.” It’s more than alright, way more, but he doesn’t need to know that.
His payback is to get you to show how your body reacts in a very different way to what you’ve just stated. Matty has you moaning just from the intensity he comes back to kiss you, a hand tightly gripping onto your hip and the other wrapped around your neck like he’s learning to know you like.
Matty’s tongue teases your lips open and you accept it eagerly, your hands coming up over his shoulders to sink into his hair. You pull on it as you taste him, swallowing the moan that he lets out. You hum in satisfaction as you note how much louder he’s been in comparison to you.
And Matty seems to know just what you want by the way you pull his hair. So he lets his hand drop slowly from your hip to cup your arse and pull you in firmly by it, pushing his hips forwards at the same time so the friction could get you both.
Your mouth hangs open at the action, exhaling shakily, so you stop the kiss and he smiles right over your lips.
“I thought we were going to bed?” Matty’s breathless words hit your face and the teasing doesn’t make you hide now, it only pushes you further.
“Oh we can go to bed.”
He’s not even sure if he’s heard you correctly when you grab his hand and guide him to your bed. Matty sits down at the edge of it, still taken aback by the switch in your behaviour but he quickly gets into your flow, grabbing a handful of your arse to pull you forward until your thighs hit his knees.
Your bottom lip is trapped in your teeth as you look down at him but your mouth hangs open when his hand drops to the back of your thigh and guides you to bring your knee up and rest it beside his hip.
Instantly, you catch the instruction and you bring your other leg up on bed to fully straddle him. And you don’t even get yourself settled before you meet again in a kiss that grows hungry with the way your hands wander.
One of your hands is tangled in the curls at the nape of his neck while the other is clutching at his shirt, right at where it’s open and showing his Annie tattoo.
Matty has one of his hands cupping your jaw, his thumb rubs softly on your cheek and it's so different to the tight hold he has on your left thigh which you’ll find later to have left the faint mark of his fingers.
It gets carried away, between kisses and shy touches under clothes until he has you flush against his lap and encourages you to move your hips.
You gasp, breaking the kiss and watch as he throws his head back slowly at the friction of your hips rolling slowly on his. Matty’s neck is on full show then and it’s so bare that you feel the urge to start kissing it.
That only has Matty, whose hands are tightly on your hips, helping you move faster in search of relief. He’s waited so long to feel you like this and it’s already driving him insane how much better it is than what he’d been picturing as his hands wandered into his boxers many evenings when he was away on tour.
He knew he’d wanted you ever since the date, but he’d promised himself it wouldn’t happen until New Years or after that. If he was lucky enough for you to want the same thing, that particular day could turn out to be the best new year's eve ever.
But here he is, unable to keep his hips still and his hands to himself. It’s a battle between his mind and his body, so loud in his head but his erratic heartbeat is louder and deafening - all Matty knows is that right now, he needs relief.
So he continues encouraging you, but now he’s also rolling his hips up into you and it’s quickly that he feels himself getting harder beneath you.
You moan into his mouth, loving his hands on you but the friction of the both of your jeans has you really want to get things moving. Suddenly, you break the kiss and push hard on Matty’s chest so his back hits the bed.
It has the singer dizzy but excited and he almost groans seeing you hover over him with a filthy grin on your face before you trap him in another searing kiss. Matty pulls on your waist so you’re flush against him with one hand as the other he continues to encourage your hips to grind against his.
When Matty lets out a long groan, you quickly kiss down his jaw and you move down his neck, leaving open mouthed kisses until you reach the tattoo on his chest. The way his hand roots in your hair has you understanding his silent instructions, he encourages you back up and you only let him feel the brush of your lips and your hot breath as you do.
You can see the way his Adam's apple bobs up and down before he takes a shaky breath. When you reach just under his ear, you leave one last hot kiss to his skin and continue to bite on his ear lobe, pulling on it slowly.
His loud moan makes you let go and pull back with a big smirk, and just because you love seeing him so desperate under you, you look down at him only to roll your hips more intently.
The singer pulls you into another kiss, this one has more urgency than the others though and the tug on your hair makes you whine. Pleased he has some payback, his hand pulls on your waist again, needing you as close as possible. When his hips start bucking up into yours again, like he does in his consumption interlude, all sane thinking on your part dies with the loud moan you let out.
It has Matty smirking and he breaks the kiss so he can kiss your neck like you just did to him. He wants to hear all of the noises he can pull from those pretty lips of yours.
You’re growing too hot in your clothes as his kisses trail down your skin. You need them off urgently so you can feel his lips move lower than your collarbone. And after another long kiss, you are about to take your top off when he suddenly makes your hips stop at the same time he does.
“I'm gonna need you to stop doing that because I don’t want to shag you tonight.” Matty says breathlessly after he snaps back into himself. Something about the way you looked so sure about this whole thing happening right now was what had him realising he needed to stop if he was to keep his promise.
“Not tonight?” You laugh a little, trying to calm yourself down.
It doesn’t feel necessarily like rejection because you can see the lust in his eyes and how his grip on you is still tight, but it does sting a little that after all that he ‘doesn’t want to shag you tonight’.
Only tonight? You ask in your head, thinking back to see if there was anything you might’ve missed or done that had him decided on not tonight.
But soon you’re brought back out of your thoughts when you sit still on his lap and he shifts under you for a second, a pained frown on his face. You can’t believe you’ve got Matty Healy under you, and you can feel you’ve made him hard. What the fuck. It’s a little difficult to process that it is your reality but thankfully he distracts you again.
“No,” Matty starts still trying to catch his breath but he doesn’t waste more time to explain, he pushes himself up so he’s upright again as he says, “Don’t get me wrong. I want to, but the thought of New Years has been keeping me going Y/N/N, can’t mess with everything I’m hoping for it to be.”
That blows the slight sting away and you’re back to your teasing self again, “Presumptuous of you.” Both your hands come up to fix the collar of his shirt, “Who told you I shag on the first date?”
“Not our first,” Matty corrects you with a raised brow, “And I’ve been here twice before so it's going to basically be our fourth.” Then he brings back your own words to go against you, “And you practically told me on our date that you would shag on the first date too.”
He takes the silence you give him as you’ve been caught between your own words to continue, though this time there’s a smirk on his face. “Besides presumptuous? You were just fucking grinding on me, baby.”
“Well who was encouraging me to?” You just end up laughing at him and he giggles too.
Both of you silently smile at each other for a few seconds then. Just happy in each other's company and being so close, or that is until Matty speaks back up.
“I’m sorry.” Matty says, genuinely feeling bad because of how far he let the both of you get into it and you do look a tad disappointed.
“Why are you apologising? Don't apologise.” You shake your head and assure him, “It’s fine,” To show your sincerity you peck his lips once more, “More than fine.”
Seeing you smile at him like that has his heart melting. He really likes you, and he can’t wait to take you out on this date next week.
Matty leans in to quickly kiss you again before he brings his jokey nature back. He looks all cute but smug when he says, “We can start the new year off with a bang.”
Whilst that excites you to no end, you have to shake your head, hating how cringe that was. You warn him, “Not if you keep them Dad jokes coming.”
“Yeah, don’t call me daddy.” Matty quite seriously begs.
“Don’t worry.” You promise him. “I definitely won’t.”
“Come on,” Matty presses another kiss to your lips and encourages, “Let's get ready for bed.”
“M’kay.” You hum, getting off his lap and turning around to grab some clothes to sleep in.
You’re not even a step away from him when he slaps your arse making you let out a little gasp and to that he only giggles. You can feel how hard he’s smirking so pleased with himself.
Opening your wardrobe, you pick your pyjamas and smile seeing your ‘lol ur not Matt Healy’ top be revealed folded under the top you’re about to put on.
Not wanting to appear like a prude, you take off your top in front of him, letting him see you in your bra and you don’t mind the way his eyes linger on you as excess confidence from earlier is still running through you.
You were about to ask him if he likes what he sees as payback for his earlier question but instead you watch as he groans, “Oh fuck me.”
“I was about to, but you wanted to stop.” You raise your eyebrows at him, loving that you can tease him with that and you grab your pyjama top and let it cover you up.
Matty looks like he’s calling himself an idiot in his head which makes you giggle a little as you undo your jeans and take them off. Despite the eyes on you, the adrenaline from before stops you getting flustered under his gaze and Matty groans at you as you take your bra off under your top and you throw it at him before you head to your ensuite.
Giggling to yourself at his reaction, you let yourself take a breather as you get yourself ready for bed. You’re not surprised that you seem a little flushed as you see yourself in the mirror, but you like the way you look, you look happy.
That’s why when you head back to your bedroom after barely 5 minutes since you unconsciously rushed through your bedtime routine, you have a bright smile on your face that grows bigger when you see Matty already under your covers, shirtless and mindlessly scrolling through his phone.
Pulling back the covers, you try not to visibly choke when you see he’s just in his black Calvins. You once again have to push back the pure and utter filth that enters your mind as you settle into bed beside him.
Trying your best not to appear awkward as fuck, you shuffle down and get comfy, and even turn towards him after you put your phone on charge. Matty locks his phone after a few seconds, putting it on your other bedside table before he turns back and smiles at you.
“Come here.” Matty says, raising his arm up so you can shuffle closer to him, and you do but you’re not the most confident about it.
You tuck your shoulder under his, so your head can rest on him and you feel his arm go around your back and pull you into him that bit closer. You’ve reverted back to being a little shy and you’re awkwardly wondering where you should put your arm. You don’t know whether to place it on his chest or keep it tucked into yourself and Matty is watching your brain tick over, so he helps you out a little.
“Cuddle me, woman.” Matty instructs, and he teases you, “You weren’t shy ten minutes ago.”
You feel your face flame at the reminder, but you do as you’re told. Your hand ends up resting just at the bottom of the tattoo on his chest and to avoid further embarrassment you take a deep breath to try and make yourself relax a bit more as you snuggle into him, tangling your legs with his.
This has the singer grinning like a fucking idiot. He’s been wanting this since the last time he fell asleep beside you. For months he’s been wanting to hold you through the night again and he silently applauds himself again for restraining from going further with you before because at one point he’d thrown everything he wanted for New Years out the window.
He’s beyond happy he didn’t though. The anticipation of New Years had been eating away at him, made him extremely excited at the mere thought of seeing you again, even more so because of the small amount you’d actually been messaging each other in between. It definitely made things more exciting for him, and he can’t wait for next week already.
Matty pulls you into him a little more, and he kisses the top of your head, smiling as he says, “No tears tonight, yeah?”
“Yeah, don’t worry,” You laugh knowing he’s teasing you for last time, when you were listening to About You instead of going to sleep. You tell him, “I’ll just cry when I finally hear it live.”
“When are you coming?” Matty asks you, genuinely curious, “O2 shows?”
“Yeah I got tickets for London, Manchester, Newcastle,” You tell him, trying your best not to sound like a massive fucking stalker, and you almost hate it when you add, “And persuaded Amelia to come with me to Belfast even though it’s on her birthday.”
Matty asks, “You’re not coming to the first one in Brighton?”
“I want to be, but I unfortunately can’t.” You sigh, “I won't be in the country.”
Matty leans down to look at you curiously then, “What?”
“It's top secret.” You say seriously, as you’ll get in trouble if the news gets out early, “You can’t tell anyone if I tell you.”
“I swear, I won't.” Matty offers you his little finger and you smile, happily hooking yours around it to seal the deal.
“Me and Amelia have been asked to be the official red carpet hosts at the Golden Globes.”
Mattys jaw drops then and you chuckle as it still really doesn’t even feel real coming out of your own mouth.
“Y/N/N!” Matty suddenly shifts then so your head falls off his arm and he’s hovering next to you so he can see your face properly. He looks so excited for you as he says, “That’s fucking insane!”
“I know.” You grin up at him.
“Tell me everything!” Matty isn’t even joking. He wants to hear how it all happened, and you have no issue with telling him.
You explain how you and Amelia were contacted, the meetings you’ve already had, the research you’ve had to do, the endless films and shows you’ve had to watch and take notes on. And you find yourself being unable to stop smiling, half because what you’re saying still feels so unreal to you, and half because of the way Matty can’t stop grinning down at you.
After him telling you that he’s happy for you and proud of you, you had to sweetly kiss him one last time before you snuggled into him again before going to sleep. Both clutching each other, with huge smiles on your faces.
~*~*~*~
Waking up beside Matty is honestly one of the best mornings of your life. It’s still a little surreal to you that you’d gone from one of your silly interview dates to him now lying in bed next to you, cuddling you as he sleeps.
Despite it being an ungodly hour in the morning - that no one on Christmas Eve should wake up at - you are thankful that you’ve woken up before your alarm went off. Purely because you get to see Matty like this.
There’s no stress or worries that plague him like you’re sure he must go through. He’s not trying to make you blush, tease, or show himself off to you. He’s just simply himself and he’s beautiful.
With that soft pout and his cheek pressed on the pillow, his curls unruly like a halo around his head and you find it so fitting because he truly looks angelic like this.
You’re staring at him and you lose track of time, all your focus on memorising every little detail on his face and really holding yourself back from touching his features delicately like he could break under your fingers.
And as you have an internal debate within yourself about how good of an idea it would be to softly brush Matty’s curls back and out of his forehead and let you fingers trace the outline of his face, you are startled by his voice.
“S’rude to stare.”
You freeze in your spot, drawing your eyes from him to the walls of your bedroom and his chest vibrates next to you when he laughs seeing you blush as he finally opens his eyes.
But then he says, “Good morning baby,” in that low raspy morning voice of his, that almost makes your eyes roll back because you just can’t cope, but then he’s nuzzling into your neck to leave a few kisses on it and you’re blushing even harder.
“Oh she’s shy again now?” Matty teases, watching you get flustered from up close, “Need I remind you what was going on last night?”
“I don’t think that’s gonna help your situation.” You clearly nod to his case of blue balls that he gave himself last night.
“Right,” He accepts the counter argument but when his lips twist in that mischievous smirk of his you know what he’s gonna say next will have you either breathless or laughing at his antics. Turns out is the first, when he continues with, “But who doesn’t enjoy a bit of edging, huh?”
You lick your lips, with a wicked smile of your own from receiving such a valuable piece of information. “Oh, that’s good to know.”
“You’re already making plans in that head of yours?” Matty’s finger comes to poke your temple to which you glare at him.
“I believe you’ve beat me to them actually.” Your eyebrows raise, remembering the mention of how he’s got some expectations set for next week’s events.
“That’s right.” Matty nods, his finger drawing softly down your face until it reaches your jaw and he’s cupping it with his hand, pulling you in to kiss you sweetly.
You’re sure you have ascended because this whole scene sounds so incredibly insane to you that you subtly come to pinch your thigh to make sure you aren’t dreaming.
His hand lowers from your jaw to meet the one over your thigh and it’s then when it all starts getting heated again. Your tongues meet and his touch on your leg leaves a trail of fire under your skin that has you squirming in your place.
But then you remember what happened last night and why you’d stopped so, getting excited over the same prospect of waiting until New Years, you break the kiss.
Your chests meet as they heave in search for oxygen, and you’re so distraught you have no idea what to say so you bring what first comes to mind.
“How’s a Full English sound right now?” You suggest, getting a hold of his hand that was still on your thigh to intertwine your fingers and bring it up to rest on his bare chest.
Matty seems to have loved the idea because he whistles lowly at the thought of food, “Fucking phenomenal.”
You giggle and nod, propping up on your elbows and dropping his hand to get out of bed. “Okay, let’s go sous chef.” Your feet touch the ground and are already taking you to your bedroom door when you turn around to look at him because he lets out a dramatic groan.
You smirk, watching his sluggish movements as he gets out from under the covers and it’s then that you remember he’s only wearing his black Calvins. He stretches and seeing all his back muscles flexing in all of their glory for you makes your mouth water and your thighs clench.
He crouches down to pick up his trousers and right when he’s about to turn to accuse you of staring again, you turn around the quickest you could and leave the room in what you thought was a subtle haste but it really wasn’t. Matty has to bite his tongue not to laugh loudly at your reactions, loving the effect he has on you.
It’s hard focusing on cooking when you have him this close around you in only pants that are purposely hanging low to drive you even more insane, but you manage when you basically challenge him to prove his skills in the kitchen, which end up being none as he only helps you passing you stuff but it was enough for you.
It was either that or having him tease you the whole time while you were trying to make breakfast and that would’ve been incredibly distracting and messy.
Once you’re all done serving your food on two different plates, you both take a seat at your little dining table and it’s a comfortable silence that surrounds you.
“When are you leaving for Los Angeles?” Matty inquires after taking a quick bite of fried egg and toast.
You pause with your fork hovering in the air, almost mid bite, thinking about the endless calls and emails you’d sent and received for this all to happen. "Flying so we arrive the day before," You take your bite of food and quickly eat it as you run through your schedule in your mind. "Flight is the evening of the eighth."
He hums with a cheeky smile on his face, “Okay.”
“What?” You can’t help but ask because why is he asking that and then acting like he’s meaning to cause trouble.
“You know what that means.” He lets himself trail off to bait you into his vagueness, really hoping you’d catch what he means but when your frown grows deeper on your face, he clears it up for you. “We’ve gotta make the most out of the first week of the year.”
You’re not sure what you were expecting but that was certainly not it. You can feel your heart hammering in your chest at the suggestiveness of it and you try to play it cool but you fail at finding any words to get him back so you sigh defeatedly, “I can’t stand you.”
Matty knows you well enough already to know you’re just holding back, so he teases you further knowing he’s right in this. “Sure you can’t, baby.”
After that the rest of breakfast is spent between chatter and soon enough you’re done and helping each other put everything in the dishwasher to go back to bed.
Both of you silently wanted to spend as much time as you could with each other today, knowing that after this it was a week long wait for something you’ve been looking forward to for a while.
So you settle back in bed, hearing the thumping of his heart where your head lays over his chest and one of his arms around your shoulders keeping you flush against his side. You have your remote in hand, scrolling through films to watch and you’re about to intertwine your legs with his when your phone starts ringing.
You both take a little to react to the device, waiting for it to suddenly stop so that you’d feel okay with ignoring it but after it dies down and rings again, you’re groaning about having to peel yourself away from Matty.
The singer hears you swear under your breath when you see your screen and he’s about to ask if everything’s okay when you answer the phone with a very not enthusiastic, “Hi Ames.”
You put the phone on speaker and place your finger over your lip instructing him to stay silent. Matty has the half mind to actually say hello to your best friend as well but he figured he’d give you peace just this one time.
“Are you really still in bed knowing that I’m going over to pick you up in twenty minutes?” Amelia scorns through the phone, and you can hear the sound of a door closing and the jingle of her keys from her side.
“Sorry, I got distracted.” You apologise half heartedly which makes Amelia chuckle in response.
“Got distracted with what?” She challenges you, “With a dream about Matty?”
Your whole face heats up and you wanna die from the way Matty has just raised his eyebrows at you with the biggest grin on his face.
You let your eyes close and take a deep breath before you’re saying, “Jesus Christ Amelia! Shut up!” through your teeth.
“What?” She chuckles loudly at hearing you so worked up about it, “He’s back here I think, you don’t have to dream about it anymore, you can just go shag him if you stop being a pussy and just text him.”
Matty is holding his loud laugh next to you, cheeks blown up from the air he’s holding in not to give away his presence but his face is getting redder by the second from how hard he’s trying not to laugh so you quickly end the call with a “See you later, Ames.”
Right after you’ve pressed the red button to hang up, Matty explodes in laughter and you hide your face in your hands.
“She’s such a bitch.” You whine in your hands and his laughter continues as you hide away mortified.
When his laughter dies down, Matty loops his arms around your waist to pull you back into him with a massive smirk on his face, “Oh baby, now I really want to know what dreams she’s referring to.”
You refuse to let yourself show your face because your cheeks feel like they’re on fire and you just can’t find it in yourself to look him in the eyes after that.
So he starts tickling you and nuzzling into your neck to have you drop your hands from your face. “Come on, tell me.”
You start giggling at the tickling and eventually drop your hands to hold his hands and stop him from continuing, “There’s nothing to tell, she’s just being a dickhead.” Your eyes only manage a few seconds looking at him before you’re averting your gaze to look somewhere else.
But Matty doesn’t buy it, “Are you sure?” he asks just to see if you’d maybe break but you keep your mouth shut and that makes him leave kisses on your neck to try and get the information out of you that way.
That only gets you flustered so, rather quickly you say, “Yes, very.” and you’re patting his arms for him to let go of you, needing to get ready to leave with your best friend. “I need to shower and get ready.”
You can feel Matty’s pout on your neck but he doesn’t move so you pinch his waist and laugh when he jumps, “Come on, time’s ticking and she hates it when I’m unpunctual.”
Matty groans when you manage to free yourself from his touch and watches as you grab yourself some clothes to lock yourself away in the bathroom.
He doesn’t move from his spot for the whole time, hearing the waterfall for a few minutes before it goes rather silent until you come back out fully dressed with just your hair damp on your shoulders.
When you walk out, you see him smiling at you with his head resting on a pillow, drifting in and out of sleep. You walk up to the bed and brush his hair back, adoring how mundane the setting is. You think how unreal it is that this is your Christmas Eve morning.
Just because you can, you lean down and peck those pillowy lips of his and the smile you receive in return will definitely stay with you forever. Once you quickly ask if it’s okay if you disturb him and dry your hair and he says it’s okay, the buzzing of the hair dryer fills the room.
In your mirror, you can see that Matty is still all cosy in your bed watching you dry your hair. And he stays like that until you’re finished, a smile on his lips, his hair a mess, looking stunning in the simplest of ways.
After you finish drying your hair, you move back over to him and sit down beside him this time. Your hand root back into the untamed curls of his as you grin at each other and he motions for you to kiss him again, which you do so quickly because you know you’re running out of time.
“Get yourself ready, she’s gonna get here any second and I need to lock up.” Your fingers sink deeper into his locks and scratch his scalp slowly, making Matty moan lowly in response.
A smirk breaks on his face immediately after, because he knows that he’s gotten you with that noise and you pull on his hair because the way your stomach flipped at that was not funny. It just reminded you of how down bad you are for him and you swear in your head at it not being New Years already.
Only a week, only 7 days.
With another tug of his hair, he laughs and gets up. Putting his clothes on as you make the bed, he watches the way you fluff your pillows as he buttons his shirt up - his new Chicken Shop Date hoodie going over it. Soon enough, your phone vibrates on your bedside table and it’s a text from Amelia saying she’s outside.
After grabbing his belongings, putting them in the pockets of his coat, Matty turns to see you getting your keys and struggling to hold the bags of gifts you’re taking with you.
The singer finishes getting his shoes on and walks up to take most of the bags from your hands, “Let me help take stuff down and then I’ll leave you to it and drive home.”
“Thank you.” Your smile is sweet as you look at him, but you selfishly don’t want the moment to end like this, so thinking ahead, you instruct him to, “Put them down for a minute.”
Matty frowns at the sudden order, “What?”
“Just do it, don’t ask questions.” You say again and smile harder when he obeys, slowly putting them down on the floor.
You take a step forwards to him, dropping the bags you were carrying without really caring about the damage to them, and cup his jaw with both your hands to pull him into a long kiss.
It’s gentle but determined, taking in every second of it because you know this is the last one until you see him again next week. He goes to deepen it, one of his arms wrapping around your waist and holding you tight against him. You hum in satisfaction when your tongues meet, tangling one of your hands in his hair to pull on it but only a little later you’re breaking it just so you don’t get carried away.
Still, you feel like it wasn’t enough so you steal a peck before leaning back and brush his hair back as you stare at him.
You’re both catching your breath when he curiously asks, “What was that for?”
You bite your bottom lip, recoiling into yourself a little bit with a faint tint to your cheeks, “A goodbye kiss because I’m not kissing you in front of Amelia.”
Matty holds his breath for a few seconds and then sighs, “Fucking hell, debating not letting you go home and we pretend it’s New Years now.” You note how he looks down to your lips and then up to meet your gaze again with a hungry look.
Shaking your head, you giggle, “Amelia would batter you, we have a party tonight.”
“Where’s my invite?” Matty jokingly frowns making it sound like it’s the rudest thing you’re not taking him to said party with you.
But you scorn him rather fast, reminding him he’s meant to be somewhere else, “You’re going back to Manchester. You’re already a day late.”
Matty’s smiling hard at you then, just really enjoying the way you make him feel inside. It’s hard to ignore, especially when he’s only felt this way a few times before in his life.
So with giddiness bubbling up inside him just from thinking about what the future could hold, he reminds you, “I'm excited for New Years.”
“Me too.” You admit with the same sparkle in your eyes as he has, and it’s a silent understanding then between you that you’re both on the same page about what you expect to come in the future.
It’s impossible for Matty not to peck your lips one last time as you reach for the door, which makes you stay still for a few seconds after his lips have left yours. You give yourself that brief amount of time to try and process it all but when you realise you might as well go insane trying to, you just grab your bags back up and open the front door to start your walk downstairs.
As you’re locking up, he notes that most of the bags hanging in his hands are full of gifts. The singer debates taking them outside for you first but he quickly realised he wants to spend as much time with you as he can, so he waits with you instead.
Matty walks behind you but since his hands are full, you open the main door of your building for him before you just check your post box one last time.
The singer sees Amelia standing there with her back to him, tapping her foot impatiently on the pavement as she scrolls through her phone. And he can’t wait to see her reaction to his presence.
“Took you long enough.” Amelia scorns before she turns around and she’s met with someone who is definitely not you.
“Hello Amelia.” Matty’s smirks seeing your best friend's face fall in shock. “Where would you like me to put her presents?”
The singer knows his hair is unruly and he doesn’t care in the slightest, but he can already imagine the things Amelia must be thinking.
“In the boot please.” Her words are slow and her eyes scream just how surprised she is but Matty doesn’t do anything but smile and do as he’s asked.
Amelia however, looks to the door of your building which has just now opened again and has you walking out with the last of your bags. As soon as you look at your best friend your cheeks flush, her shocked yet amused yet knowingexpression has you wanting to go back up to your flat and hide inside there for the rest of the holiday season.
“Hey Ames.” You try to be as normal as possible despite wanting the ground to swallow you whole.
“Hi Y/N. Hi Matthew Healy.” Amelia says loud enough for the singer to hear but she looks to you and you alone with wide, shocked eyes.
You can almost hear her silently screaming, What the fuck did you two get up to last night? Already, you’re nervous for the journey home with her because you’re going to get hounded.
“Thank you for coming getting me.” You smile before looking to the ground so you don’t combust and you put your bags in the boot of the car beside the ones Matty just placed for you.
The singer is trying not to cackle at your reaction to being caught with him. He can guess you’re feeling like a teenager who’s just been caught with a boy in her bedroom by the way you’re shying away from Amelia. Never in a million years did he ever expect you’d get this embarrassed, but he can’t help but find it cute.
“That’s alright.” You hear your best friend tell you, but you just make sure everything is in place before you shut the boot of the car.
Thankfully, Matty saves you from any awkwardness just yet as he comes back to Amelia and embraces her in a big hug, “Dimz, I’ve missed you. You excited for Christmas?”
Amelia smiles and hugs him back, raising her eyebrows at you over his shoulder though and you just press your lips together and shake your head. You know exactly what she’s thinking, but you quickly answer that question for her.
“I am, first time I’ve felt Christmassy for a long time.” Your best friend barely has the brain to answer that because her head is filled with so many questions.
“Good, I’m glad.” Matty smiles, “Please make sure you have a good one. Hope your party goes well tonight.”
Amelia can’t really grasp his well wishes because she just really needs to start asking some things. “I’m sorry, shouldn't you be in Manchester right now? Didn't you write a whole song about that which I’ve been forced to listen tomultiple times?”
Matty rolls his eyes at her playfully, “I'm about to drive back. Had things to do first.”
“Things,” Amelia raises her eyebrows, “Or someone?”
Matty smirks then, deciding he’s giving absolutely nothing away. He just grins like he knows something she doesn’t and winks, “I’ll let your best friend tell you about that.”
Whilst your face fucking flames once again, Amelia and Matty share a look before the singer tells her, “I’m going to say goodbye to her now if I can steal her for a few more minutes.”
Amelia grins and nods, “Please do.”
“Bring it in Dimz.” Matty opens his arms to her for another hug and she happily gives him a hug as they wish each other a Merry Christmas.
But then Matty turns towards you, and he’s still smiling when he gently grabs your hand and pulls you over to his car. It’s a very short silent walk that you both purposely elongate and Amelia would tell you to hurry up but she just wants to witness whatever is about to happen because this was something she was not expecting to see today.
When you get to stand beside Matty’s car, you let your gaze take in your surroundings instead of meeting his eyes because you just don’t want to say goodbye just yet.
It’s all written on your face, really, so he assures you of his plans for the upcoming week. “I’m gonna see you on New Year's Eve. I’m going to Facetime you before then, though, so we can sort out where we’re going.”
“Can’t believe it’s finally a week away.” You breathlessly confess, throwing out of the window any need to act cool about it.
It makes his stomach flip to see how much you mean that, so Matty smiles brightly at you and reciprocates the feeling of impatience, “Better be the fastest week of my life.” And he only makes your heart go even faster when grabs your hands and rubs his thumbs over them to say, “I hope you have the best Christmas.”
You pout at him because of how cute he is, you really can't help it. “You too, please send my love to your family.”
Matty’s soft giggles evaporate in the air before he quickly shakes his head, “No, because my Mum will FaceTime you and she won't leave you alone.”
You frown playfully at him talking about it like it’s a bad thing and scoff, “I’ll be besties with Denise.”
He narrows his eyes at you like saying you’re not sure what you’re really talking about, “I’ll protect you from that for a bit longer.”
You chuckle at him, “Thank you, I think.” Your grin is huge when you say, “Thank you again for my presents.”
“Thank you for mine.” It surprises you that he’s actually enjoyed your last minute gift so you let your eyes drop down to catch the little Chicken Shop Date logo on the left side of his chest and grin brightly at him.
It makes you so happy that Matty likes it but you want to get him something better so you promise, “I’ll get you something better.”
Matty has a massive smirk on his face then, letting his hands drop yours to hold onto your hips, ���Got everything I wanted last night.”
That makes your breath hitch in your throat, your brain short circuiting for a few seconds too long before you’re able to get your act together again, “Is your aim to make me die of embarrassment before we get to our date?”
“Sorry, I'll fix it.” He says with apparent honesty but you should know better than to trust the menace of a man because all you feel then is your back getting pressed against the side of his car and his head dipping down to catch your lips in his.
You’re fairly surprised and whilst you’re very aware of Amelia standing there watching this all unfold in front of her eyes, when Matty’s lips are on yours and your tongues meet, you’re completely drunk on him.
His hips press into yours making you let out a small gasp that makes him smirk but you’re both so desperate to keep the moment going for as long as it can last and enjoy every second of it that you don’t break it.
Your fingers are tangled in his curls, tugging on them with an increasing force from how mischievous this all feels.
It’s only when you’re both sure you’re gonna start hurting from the lack of oxygen that you separate and that’s when it also hits you what he’s just done so you narrow your eyes at him with intentions of scorning him.
“You-”
“Cheeky, I know.” Matty grins with trouble written all over his face, but his expression then falls soft to tell you sincerely, “I’ll miss you.”
You swear that if you weren’t trapped between him and his car, your legs would have failed you from hearing that. “I’ll miss you too.” It’s entirely sincere because it is insane the way he’s made you feel in such little time, it all hitting you even harder in the 12 hours you’ve just spent together.
“New years?” You ask and hold your pinky up in front of him.
Matty nods, linking his finger and kissing the end of the promise for you. “New year's, baby. See you then.”
You blush at his actions, completely overcome by how adorable he could be. Unfortunately, you know this is the end of your time with him for now, so you take a step back onto the curb, walking the small distance to Amelia and, once beside her, you watch as he unlocks his car.
As soon as Matty gets into his car, Amelia tells you, “I just took a picture of that and I’m going to show your whole family.”
“Bitch.” You shake your head at her before walking round her car to the passenger side, not letting her taunt you as you want the butterflies in your stomach to last as long as possible.
Just before you get into the passenger seat of Amelia’s car, you look back at Matty’s and you see he’s already looking at you with a huge grin on his face. The singer makes your heart melt once again though when he blows a big kiss at you.
This time you don’t hide how big your smile gets. Instead, you blow him a kiss right back which makes him give you a toothy grin. He gives you a wave as he starts up his car and you don't hesitate to wave back before you tear your eyes away from him.
Getting into Amelia’s car, you can wholeheartedly say you drive home for Christmas feeling the happiest you have in a long long time.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
| Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 4 |
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
A/N: We’re just edging everyone at this point hahaha, hope you enjoyed the new Part! The next will be posted on @alovesreading account again x
Taglist: @red---moon @drinkurkombucha @vinylandcoffeecollection @better--oblivions @kennedy-brooke @faveficz @indierockgirrl @slutformattyhealy @kmsmedine @cecefaith @benkidgenius @avasjunkpile @spicyraccoonlordking @lizzylynch1 @ofbluesandyellows @kipperthedog2004 @slutforcoffein @madamedesmond @iamhallucinationnn @imagines4peeps @siwiecola @eaglestar31 @neverlieliliac @olliewhinchester @internetmultifandomfangirl @wellwellhereiam @dania7361 @kurdtbean @mawanji @jazzymariexoxoc @picklesandsprinkles @home-of-disaster @maelialuv @londonalozzy @ker0senebunny @golden-hoax @thouarntsage @belledawnidk @confusedcrayon @how2understand @harringt8ns @sheisaaantisocial @brumantrack @real-actual-human-person @eddiemunsonsgroupie @hemmings8376 @darlingbravebelle @defnotgracee @fabulouslyflamboyant5 @deamus-liv @itsjustsocialimplications
Please let either of us know if you want to be added to the Taglist x
(Not sure why some tags aren’t working, send an ask or message one of us if we accidentally got it wrong.)
#matty healy x reader#matty x reader#matty healy#matty#healy#the 1975#matty healy fanfiction#matty healy fanfic#matty the 1975#matty 1975#1975#1975 matty#matty healy fluff#the 1975 imagine#matty healy imagine#matty healy drabble#matty healy blurb#matty healy x you#matty healy x y/n#iliwys#abiior#noacf#bfiafl#george daniel#ross macdonald#adam hann
695 notes
·
View notes
Text
Timeless
Summary: Steve breaks up with singer!reader because he doesn't want to hold her back. He starts to question everything after hearing the song she wrote for him.
Warnings: life in the Instagram era
word count: 4695
a/n: 100000% inspired by Timeless by Taylor Swift. i did not proofread this bc I am lazy so I do apologize for whatever typos there are
Masterlist
"I just don't get it," Steve overheard the young women talking while waiting in line for coffee. "She could literally be with anyone and she's gonna pick some old guy who literally fought in World War II?" He already had an idea of where this was going, but the response confirmed his fears.
"I know! Like Steve Rogers is hot but that's so weird! He's like 100 years old," she scoffed.
"A man out of time and probably out of touch," the first replied. "I bet he's totally holding her back."
Steve decided to forgo his coffee, simply turning around and leaving before things could get more awkward for him. Dating you has actually been when he's felt most at home in this century, but that doesn't mean he no longer struggles with his new present day.
Hardly a day goes by without you or someone else having to explain something to him, whether it be an insignificant reference to some tv show or more important information on how certain technology works. Suffice it to say, he feels like his age does show. It's something you've talked about in your relationship, but clearly, something Steve still struggles with.
He decided to walk back to the tower using the time to really think about what was best for you in terms of being with him. The first day the two of you met had been a particularly bad one for Steve, but somehow you managed to cheer him up. You've basically been inseparable since.
The more he thought about it, the more sure he was that those women were right. He was holding you back. You spend so much time with him, and at the tower in general, that you haven't really been living the same way you were before.
Before you met Steve, you had just finished your first world tour. You were always traveling or in and out of the studio. Now, you spend all your time in New York and you haven't had so much as a single performance outside of New York in the two and a half years you've been with him.
As he walked the last few steps up to the tower, Steve had already made his decision.
-
You were practically bouncing up and down on the couch as you waited for Steve to get home. After months of writing and recording in the home studio Tony set up for you, you could finally surprise Steve with some new songs. The one you were most excited about hadn't even been recorded yet. You were just too excited to share the lyrics to wait.
You couldn't help but reminisce as you waited, thinking about the first time you'd ever met. After your tour, all you wanted to do was go home and sleep, but Tony had personally invited you to his latest gala and your manager really pushed for you to go. Turns out, it was the best decision of your life.
The sound of the door opening down the hall broke you out of your daydream. The telltale sounds of Steve hanging up his jacket and tossing his keys in the dish by the door confirmed your suspicions.
You nearly tripped over the coffee table in your effort to greet him, but the look on his face stopped you dead in your tracks. "Steve?" you asked. "Are you okay?"
He sighed in response, one hand running through his hair as he looked at the ground. After a few seconds, he managed to meet your eye, but it did nothing to ease the nerves you were now feeling.
"Did something happen?" you asked just as he spoke up.
"We should break up."
His words felt like a physical blow in the silence that followed. You leaned back into the arm of the couch, suddenly unsure of everything.
"What?" you barely breathed out the question. The emotional whiplash was too confusing to process this quickly.
"I just, I don't think we should stay together. I wish I had more to say, but that's it." Steve cut straight to the bone, his own heart breaking. Still, he thought it was for the best.
"Oh," you barely managed to reply, still reeling from the shock. "Um, okay. I'll just... I'll just go."
You walked blindly down the hall and out the door, not even considering what you would do with all of your things that were in the apartment. You didn't even grab your purse, so you couldn't realistically leave the tower. Instead, you headed straight for the studio.
It felt like if you were recording a song about Steve, you could pretend that conversation didn't just happen. You could live in the past for just another few hours before reality finally hit you.
You still had the music pulled up in the recording booth. You'd gone so far as to take out some of the most inspiring pictures that lead to this song. There were plenty of pictures of you and Steve, but also the old black and white photos you found in the antique shop.
Thankfully Tony set things up so you could record on your own if you wanted, so that's exactly what you did.
Down the block there's an antique shop and something in my head said stop, so I walked in...
-
Instead of facing your emotions head-on, you dove into your work. You recorded every song you had left for the album, only contacting your manager and the label when things were finished.
They had a few things to tweak, but the record was ready not even two weeks later. Since you'd already been teasing the songs on tik tok, your label agreed to a surprise release. Thirteen songs would be released at the end of the week.
With the album ready and the date picked, you switched focus to scheduling performances at award shows and TV interviews. Anything to keep you from the gutwrenching reality of your emotions.
-
Steve wasn't doing much better. His mood was foul and everybody could tell. Seeing as you were avoiding everyone by staying in an apartment owned by your label, the team tried cornering Steve for information.
"What the hell happened with Y/N?" Nat finally asked when Steve brushed off the slightly less invasive questions about how he was doing. He simply shook his head, glaring at an unphased Natasha.
"Have you listened to her new album?" Sam asked, trying to break the tension before all hell broke loose.
Steve tensed at the mention of your music. He had not listened to it, but the mere existence sent him into a spiral. In his eyes, it proved his point. Two and a half weeks without him and you were already releasing music. Something you hadn't done in the two and a half years you'd been together.
"Just leave me alone," he all but begged. Listening to the songs he knew- or at least strongly expected- would be about him was too much to even consider. He shook off the questions with the sheer desperation in his eyes. Everyone could tell it was hitting him hard, but not knowing why they broke up made it difficult to try and help.
-
Things continued much the same for the next month. Steve avoided all things that reminded him of you. You worked every second you could, desperate to not have to think about how everything went wrong.
In those few moments when you had actually thought about Steve, you more than anything wanted to know why. It had gotten so far as to you hovering your finger over his contact, one split second from calling when your manager phoned you instead.
"Hello," you answered, desperately trying to hide the strain from your voice.
"They want you to perform at the Grammy's," your manager, Gina, wasted no time with pleasantries.
"Oh my god," you didn't know how to feel. "That's in three days!" This album meant so much to you, but it was entirely about falling and being in love with Steve. How could you perform one of your best love songs on one of the biggest stages in music with a broken heart?
"Do they want a specific song?" Somehow your mind kept working even though your heart was breaking all over again.
"You get to choose," Gina continued to gush, but you couldn't listen. Having to choose was almost worse. You managed to tune back in for the last bit of information. "I know it's weird because you're not nominated, but nobody expected Rihanna to have to pull out. The news is her baby is the picture of health though! Since this is so last minute, they need to know what song the day after tomorrow for scheduling purposes."
"I'll do Timeless," you blurted out. Having to make the decision would be the worst part, right? So now you can just prepare and deal with it.
"You sure?" she asked, wary of it being one of the most detailed love songs on the album.
"Yep!" The enthusiasm was easy to fake. You were excited to perform at the Grammy's, and this is the song you're most proud of. It'll be fine.
"I'll let them know! Check your email for the itinerary. Bye!" she hung up in a flash, leaving you alone with your thoughts again.
Steve's contact was still pulled up on your phone. It felt like it was mocking you. Of course, Timeless would be the song you blurt out in a panic. It was the one you were most excited for him to hear. You can't imagine he's listened to the album. He might not even know it was released. A Grammy's performance was the closest to a guarantee that he'd hear it.
Now you just had to practice singing as if it wasn't going to emotionally wreck you.
-
"We've been invited to the Grammy's," Tony burst into the room with no preamble.
"Who's we?" Sam asked, already planning the suit he would wear in his mind.
"Four of us, bird brain," Tony replied swiftly. "Normally I'd be all over this, but I promised Morgan I would build her big girl bed with her tomorrow, so I'm stuck. You all have to go."
Nat, Sam, and Bucky all seemed okay with the invitation, and in Sam's case mildly excited. Steve, on the other hand, scowled at Tony. He was only about 60% sure the Grammy's were for music, but if the 60% was right he would rather go on a mission in Antarctica than potentially be in the same building as Y/N right now.
"I don't wanna hear it, Capsicle." Tony read the look on his face. "Four of us have to be there, and as our fearless leader that means you. Friday will send the details." He walked out much the same way he walked in, with a dramatic flair that left no room for questions.
"I guess we're going to the Grammy's," Nat cut a look across the room to Steve, gauging his reaction.
"So we are," he mumbled, quickly leaving the room before anyone could ask him about you.
-
Getting ready in your apartment was the only thing holding you together. Gina came over early this morning to lay out the details of your dress, hair, makeup, and any last-minute accessory decisions.
"You ready for this?" she asked, buzzing with excitement. The car would be here to pick you up any minute.
"As I'll ever be," you shakily replied. Despite making the decision quickly, you'd yet to settle the reality of performing the song in front of a crowd with how it felt to record it alone in a booth.
"Well, you can shake off those last few nerves right now. You're gonna be amazing. Remember, you're toward the end of the show. I guess you'll be a break from the nominated artists just before they announce album of the year, okay?"
You merely nodded in response, still trying to get over the nerves. You followed her down to the car, going over the lyrics in your head. Repetition was your best bet to stave off any emotional outbursts during the actual performance.
-
Steve had barely said a word all day, choosing instead to just float through the day. He wore the suit presented to him with no questions asked. He followed the schedule Friday had given him to a tee. He left no room for conversation, the glare on his face deterring any small talk.
He looked up the list of performers in an attempt to see if Y/N would be there, but she wasn't listed. The only thing causing him worry was the "surprise guest" that had been invited to replace Rihanna, who had to pull out of performing because she had a baby a few days ago. The amount of detail about other people's lives on the internet still surprised Steve sometimes, but he was glad to hear she was doing well- whoever she was.
He managed to hold it together through the red carpet, hearing whispers from the crowds that strung his and your name together. That was one of the things that drew the two of you together. It may have been a different kind of attention, but you both had faces the general public might recognize. Being the center of attention was never the goal for either of you, so your relationship remained largely private.
"Weird that he didn't walk the carpet with Y/N..." one guest whispered. Steve's enhanced hearing meant he could still pick up the voices. It was almost as if he was involuntarily listening for your name and honing in on the conversation.
"I mean, they've always been private... unless, do you think they broke up?" the responder gasped. Steve felt his heartbeat increase, being the subject of rumors and gossip never sat well with him.
"But this whole album is so happy! Maybe she-"
Steve was pulled inside before he could hear the rest. Probably for the best, he thought. Now that he knew you were here, he needed to focus on avoiding you.
Apparently, that wouldn't be hard. He and his fellow Avengers assigned seats were much further back than the musicians that were invited or nominated. He could see you from his seat, but you were far enough away to basically guarantee no forced interactions.
He merely sat in his seat, greeting people as they stopped by to say hello, and waited for the show to start. The quicker this thing was over, the quicker he would be able to go back to avoiding his feelings.
-
Walking the carpet was an absolute dream. You only wish you could've been more present. You were still incredibly nervous for your performance, and the murmurs you heard about the Avengers being in attendance did nothing to help.
You just had to choose to believe that Steve wouldn't come tonight. Unless he was so unaffected by the breakup that he could be here without it being a problem, which was a scenario you needed to put out of your head. No thoughts of break ups or Steve. At least, not until the performance.
Finding your table was easy enough once you got inside, and refusing to look around may have seemed odd, but people could easily chalk it up to nerves. Not many new about your surprise performance, but everyone knew it was your first Grammy's ceremony You were on tour when you were nominated for Best New Artist, ultimately winning the award, but missing out on the ceremony.
Other artists stopped by and chatted for a few minutes until eventually the lights dimmed and the show began.
-
Before long, a stage manager was ushering you out of your chair on a commercial break and bringing you backstage to get ready. You hadn't had much choice when it came to your carpet look- a gorgeous pink dress with plenty of tulle- but your performance look was more customizable.
You chose a dark blue set with plenty of crystals sewn onto the fabric. It looked like the night sky, and if blue is Steve's favorite color so what. This was the exact vibe you'd dreamed up when you were writing the song, so it only felt right to perform in it.
Your hair and makeup needed minimal changes, so after a few touch ups, you were being ushered toward the stage. It seemed everything backstage was happening fast enough to leave no time for nerves.
"And now, our long awaited surprise performer! She has taken the world by storm with her surprise release, I wouldn't be surprised if we saw her nominated for next year's awards. Please welcome F/N L/N performing Timeless!"
You were already seated at the piano when the curtains were drawn back. Although the song wasn't a piano ballad on the album, it felt right for this performance. You wasted no time getting started once the cheers died down.
Down the block there's an antique shop and something in my head said stop, so I walked in. On the counter was a cardboard box and the sign said "Photo's 25 cents each."
They were some very literal opening lines, and unsurprisingly the memories were flooding through you. You were out walking around the city, trying to clear your head, when you stumbled upon an antique store. The photos on the counter were the very first inspiration for lyrics to the vague idea of a song.
Black and white, saw a 30s bride and two lovers laughing on the porch of their first house. The kind of love you only find once in a lifetime. The kind you don't put down. And that's when I called you, and it's so hard to explain, but in those photos, I saw us instead.
It was so easy to envision Steve in the 30s, you couldn't help but put yourself in these photos with him. Your lives would be so different if you'd met back then, but there wasn't a doubt in your mind that you would love him just the same.
And, somehow, I know that you and I would've found each other. In another life, you still would've turned my head.
This was something you'd told Steve over and over. Every time he felt unsure of being in this time, you said "I would love you in any life, Steve. Any life. I'm just glad you found me in this one." You really had to gear up for the first chorus. It had one of the most telling, and therefore nerve wracking, lines.
-
Even if we'd met on a crowded street in 1944, and you were headed off to fight in the war. You still would've been mine. We would've been timeless.
Steve was slack jawed as he listened to your song for the first time. The way you were able to take the little memories and build such a beautiful melody out of them astounded him. His emotions were suddenly overwhelming, and there was now way for him to runaway from them this time.
I would've read your love letters every single night, and prayed to god you'd be coming home alright. And you would've been fine. We would've been timeless.
It wasn't that far off from this reality. Anytime Steve was on a mission, he'd write you letters to read while he was away. After the first time, you started writing letters for him to take with him as well. Even if the two of you couldn't talk on the phone, you had something from the other to tide you over.
'Cause I believe that we were supposed to find this. So even in a different life, you still would've been mine. We would've been timeless.
There was that line about a different life again. Steve already felt like he was living a different life, and somehow you knew exactly how to express what he was feeling while simultaneously reassuring him of your own love.
I had to smile when it caught my eye, there was one of a teenage couple in the driveway. Holdin' hands on the way to a dance and the date on the back said 1958. Which brought me back to the first time I saw you. Time stood still like something in this old shop.
Steve could still easily picture the very first second he saw your face. He wanted to be anywhere but Tony's party, having just come back from a mission that was only moderately successful. They had saved the hostages, but the Hydra agents managed to escape. He wanted nothing more than to track them down and being at the party would only delay everything.
When Tony brought you around for introductions, he found the mission had slipped entirely from his head. You somehow managed to lighten the mood without knowing why he was so grumpy, earning an uncharacteristic laugh from Steve still in Captain mode.
It was no surprise to anyone at the party when the two of you spent the rest of the evening together. Sitting at the bar, or the rare slow dance meant you could continue the never ending conversation.
Steve found himself so lost in thought, he missed most of the second verse and chorus. It wasn't until Bucky nudged him that he refocused on your words.
-
We're gonna be... I'm gonna love you when our hair is turnin' gray. We'll have a cardboard box of photos of the life we've made. And you'll say, "Oh my, we really were timeless."
You could feel the tears building through the second chorus and the bridge, but the third chorus really broke you down. You didn't understand why Steve decided it was best to break up and never getting that closure was taking its toll. You couldn't stop the few tears from falling, the notes that followed uncharacteristically wobbly.
-
We're gonna be timeless, timeless. You still would've been mine. We would've been... Even if we'd met on a crowded street in 1944. You still would've been mine. We would've been...
Steve could hear the tears in your voice easier than he could see them. His moment of weakness was haunting him as his own tears started to fall. He brushed them away quickly, forcing himself to hold it together until you were done.
Down the block there's an antique shop and something in my head said stop, so I walked in.
It was clear to him now more than ever that he was so wrong. He let his insecurities get the better of him, and messed up the single greatest thing that had come from being in this century.
With the show nearly over, he didn't think anyone would notice his absence. Instead of returning to his seat at the end of the commercial break, he slipped out a side exit. He wanted nothing more than to talk to you, but had no way of finding you.
"Steve!" He turned at the sound of a familiar voice calling his name. To his surprise, your manager was standing just a few feet away. "She left right after the song, said she's too tired for the afterparty."
Steve nodded, unsure why she was telling him.
"Here's her current address. Code to the elevator is 0704," she winked, passing him a slip of paper. Understanding dawned on him, and he wanted to scream.
"Thank you, Gina. Really," he managed to control the maelstrom of emotion, subtly slipping outside as quickly as he could. He was meant to ride home in the hired car with the rest of the Avengers, but your address wasn't too far from the Garden. He opted to walk, slowly transitioning into a run as his desperation grew. The flash of cameras followed him down the street, but with his speed he outpaced them quickly enough. He had one thing on his mind and one thing only, fixing things with you.
-
The pounding on your door scared you more than you'd care to admit. Nobody should be able to reach this floor without the code, but still. The knocking had an air of desperation that you wouldn't expect from anyone visiting right now. Gina was the logical choice, but was skipping the afterparty that big of a deal?
You had planned to double check through the peephole, but before you reached the door, the very last voice you'd have expected sounded clear through the door.
"Y/N? Gina, she gave me the code. I just, I need to apologize. I... I fucked up." He stalled, in nearly as much disbelief as you at hearing the words fall out of his mouth.
You swung the door open, gesturing for him to come in. You didn't trust yourself to speak. Hell, you barely trusted yourself to look at him. Once you both settled on the couch, you finally risked a glance.
Steve looked more distraught than you'd ever seen him, but his lack of explanation still left you reeling. He seemed to be at a loss for words himself until you looked at him.
"We really are timeless, huh?" he tried easing into things, instantly regretting his choice of words when you nearly vaulted off the couch.
"Steve, what the hell? You break up with me with no explanation and show up quoting my own lyrics to me?" your words lacked the anger you wished you could express, too raw from the performance to cover the dimensions of hurt. The tears were quick to return to your eyes as Steve slowly approached you.
He grabbed your hands in his and when you showed no signs of pulling away, tried again. "I made the biggest mistake of my life that day. Not just in not explaining, but in deciding I knew what was best for you. In thinking I was doing the right thing by giving in to my fears.
"You are single-handedly the greatest person I've ever known. And I overheard these women saying you could have anyone and do anything... I managed to convince myself that you deserved more. To pretend like breaking up with you was noble and not because I was afraid you'd come to the same conclusion as them"
"Steve," you shook your head, a few tears falling. You were at a loss for words. For the last two months, you thought he just fell out of love with you. His reasoning, although flawed, was reassuring. Still, it didn't undo the hurt he caused.
"I should've known better. And I can't undo what I've already done, but I can promise to never doubt you again. To come to you with my insecurities and listen to your voice when mine isn't strong enough. And I hope I can be that person for you in life- to reassure you when you feel lost." He took a deep breath before continuing, "I love you and if you'll have me again, I want to be timeless with you."
You could feel yourself squeezing his hands tighter and tighter as he spoke, trying to funnel the overwhelming emotions into physical exertion instead of tears.
"I love you too," you whispered, voice breaking on a fresh wave of tears. You wrapped your arms around him, letting him lead you back to the couch. You still had a lot to discuss, but right now, you just wanted him to hold you.
-
Bonus:
A few hours later, after many discussions about ignoring gossip and coming to each other with your problems, Steve finally managed to work up the nerve to voice once more question.
"Is the rest of the album about loving me, or is there a breakup song on there? Because I can handle it, but I might need some warning."
You stared at him for a beat before the question really sunk in.
"You haven't listened to any of it?" you confirmed. When he nodded, you just smirked. "While, I guess you'll find out right now then."
You knew it was 13 songs expressing different kinds of love for him, but you would let him sweat it out for the next 57 minutes.
a/n: here are the songs I envision on the album lol:
Timeless, Call It What You Want, Sweet Nothing, Daylight, New Year's Day, invisible string, Dress, False God, Paper Rings, Cornelia Street, evermore, Today Was A Fairytale, Lover
taglist:
Permanent: @averyhotchner @jesuswasnotawhiteman @strawberryspence @andrwgxrfield @jswessie187 @ellobruv @alohastitch0626
Marvel: @leyannrae @livstilinski @oceaniamaddness @justreadingficsdontmindme @ladydmalfoy @freyathehuntress
#steve rogers x reader#steve rogers x you#steve rogers fic#steve rogers x y/n#steve rogers#steve rogers x singer!reader#captain america x reader#steve rogers fluff
209 notes
·
View notes
Text
Handsome - Bang Chan
A/N: I saw Bang Chan talking about being the 21st most handsome face of 2022 and how he didn’t deserve it, so I wrote this about how wrong he is. Enjoy!
The minute your boyfriend ended his livestream, which of course you were watching, you headed straight to his studio. Without even knocking you burst in.
"How very dare you!"
Chan jumped in his seat and spun round to see you. Immediately, his brain began to play his stream back in his head, trying to work out what he could have said to anger you.
"You insulted my boyfriend," you added.
"But... I'm your boyfriend," he replied, almost as if he weren't 100% sure he was.
"Yes, you are. But I will get mad any anyone who is negative about my boyfriend, even if it's you."
He let out one of his awkward little chuckles. "Ok, and what did I say?"
"You seem to think that me and most of the world are lying about how handsome you are."
As you could have predicted, he pulled up the neck of his shirt and disappeared into it.
"Seriously, there are so many more attractive idols than me that weren't on there. All of the members should have been higher than me. In fact, the other members should have all been on there and I shouldn't," he muttered through the fabric of his top.
You knelt on the floor in front of him, hands resting on his thighs as you spoke in a much softer voice now. "Chris, all jokes aside now, I really can't see what you do. Everything about you is attractive, both on the outside and inside."
Gently, you tugged at his shirt with one hand, trying to get him to reveal his face again.
"It hurts me so much when I hear you joking with Stay or haters on your lives about your appearance, because I know to you its not a joke and you actually believe what you're saying."
His eyes then appeared from the top of his shirt.
"I can kind of understand Stay thinking it when they see me all made up with a full face of make-up and styled hair, but if they saw what I see in the mirror every morning-"
"How often do you do a full face of make-up before Chan's room?" you cut him off. "Babe, I know for a fact that they've seen you barefaced and they love you like that too. I see you barefaced and curly haired quite regularly and I love it."
"You have to say that, you're dating me."
"I don't have to say anything, and I don't have to date you," you told him, before sighing when the sad look in his eyes didn't leave. "I wish I could make you see what I see, the glint in your eyes when you laugh, the way your dimples show even when you try to hide a smile, the pure content on your face when you're just watching the boys."
As you spoke, Chan lowered his collar back to its place around his neck and you seized your opportunity. You kneeled up higher and began to press little kisses all over your boyfriend's face. In between, you were muttering little affirmation to him.
"Perfect," kiss, "Handsome," kiss, "Gorgeous," kiss.
By the end of your onslaught, your boyfriend was a giggly mess and you were very proud of yourself.
"I know it's not easy to learn to love yourself," you told him, "But anytime you start thinking things like that I want to imagine what I would say if I found out. And if you can't do that, imagine our roles were reversed. Imagine I was saying all those things about me and how you would feel."
"I'd be mad because it's not true," he said very quickly.
"Exactly. And I get mad when you say it about you," you pointed out. "Now, please just accept that I'm right and you're wrong and I love you very much."
Finally, Chan had a wide grin on face as he pulled you up and onto his lap. Snuggling his face into your shoulder he spoke a muffled, "Love you, too," squeezing you tight.
NAVIGATION | STRAY KIDS MASTERLIST
#bang chan#bang chan imagine#bang chan scenarios#bang chan drabbles#bang chan fluff#bang chan comfort#christopher bang#chris bang#bang chan x reader#bang chan x you#bang chan oneshot#bang chan fic#stray kids#stray kids reaction#stray kids imagines#stray kids scenarios#stray kids drabbles#stray kids fluff#stray kids fic#stray kids oneshot
474 notes
·
View notes
Note
okay I've finally figured out the prompt situation 😅
congrats on 800 followers and here's to many more to come!!
for the event, could I get a drabble of diluc with the prompts …you realize that you long to see them again and “i’ve been afraid of changing because I’ve built my life around you" (landslide by fleetwood mac) ? diluc's pov if it's not too much to ask for?
congrats again 👍 you are so cool
ok jack. jack remember ily thank you for the notes (this broke my heart)
Coming Home
Character: Diluc Ragnvindr
Warnings: reverse hurt/comfort, a lot of diluc backstory that may not be 100% accurate but I'm p sure I got it
Notes: ok so. The “moment” hit already and he’s home yada yada yada im not following the prompt what else is new /hj I TRIED ok. not proofread I'm sorry
gn reader
reblogs > likes
send an ask to join my taglist
800 event (please join)
It was a long walk home.
The time without you was terrifying. He insisted he needed time away, time to think—to be angry, to grieve, to process it all—without the fear of lashing out on you.
His father passed due to the Fatui’s traps and Delusions and went on a rampage through the country. He couldn’t hold still, he couldn’t think, and you didn’t deserve to be around him and deal with the results of something that wasn’t your problem.
Despite how much he still believed all that, he knew he couldn’t run forever.
He hesitated for a long moment but decided to ring the doorbell. He rocked back and forth on his heels, waiting anxiously for the door to open. When it opened, he gave a small, awkward wave to Adelinde.
Her mouth opened slightly as she struggled to put the words together to speak. “Master Diluc—“
He shook his head. “Please, just….can I come in?”
She put on her best face, taking a moment to steady herself. “Of course. The winery will always have a place for you.”
He followed her a few feet in the doorway when he heard another voice from the top of the stairs.
“Adelinde? Who is it?” you asked, followed by a quiet gasp.
Diluc, using every ounce of strength he could muster in his mind, raised his head to look at you. He didn’t deserve to see you—he didn’t deserve you—but he had to know you were okay.
The next thing he knew, you ran down the stairs to him and jumped into his arms. He tried to cover his groan of pain with a cough—he had more injuries than he thought, initially—but wrapped his arms tightly around you. You were here, in his arms again. It was everything he’d wished he could be selfish and have for years before he had you, and everything he’d dreamed about in the time he spent away.
“Diluc,” you said in a hushed voice, pulling away enough to look at him.
That look said everything. He knew he’d broken your trust, he knew you were upset. If you’d left on a rampage for several weeks to a foreign country and just left a note and occasionally sent letters home, he would be angry too. It wasn’t fair to you, and he knew that.
“Go get a shower, darling. You smell like the woods.”
He smiled. Genuinely, actually smiled for the first time in ages. You always managed to pick him up whenever anything was wrong, usually with an ill-timed joke or comforting words. Usually both. He nodded and pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead. “Thank you,” he muttered, not entirely sure how much he was thanking you for.
Later that evening, after a shower, a proper meal, and Adelinde insisting on helping bandage him up, he made his way to the bedroom you shared before he left. In the time he was still in Mondstadt, he didn’t have the heart to go through his father’s things in the master bedroom.
He knocked quietly and entered, unsure if you were asleep. He knew it was late when he arrived home and even later now that he’d settled in. It was nice to wear the soft, clean clothes Adelinde prepared for him after nearly wrapping him head to toe in bandages.
You were reading, simply lounging in bed. He stood by the door, tense and unsure of what was going to happen from here. He was home, you seemed happy to see him, but he knew you had to be upset. It was completely justified, he knew that it wasn’t fair for him to up and leave like that.
“I-”
“Don’t,” you said softly, closing the book and setting it on the nightstand next to you. Your voice wasn’t cold or harsh by any means—you were calm. And when you looked at him, he only saw his beautiful lover that had always stood by him, no matter if he was in an argument with his immature brother or was injured fighting off hillychurls. Maybe this wouldn’t be much different.
You held your arms out for him and he hesitated. Would you really want to hold him, after everything he did? Everything you didn’t even know he did?
But your eyes silently pleaded with him, so he laid next to you. Immediately, he felt your arms gingerly around him, brushing over the bandages and minimal amount of bare skin between them. He melted into you, having kept himself from that kind of love for so long—he didn't realize how much he missed you until he was there with you again.
Silently, the tears poured from his eyes. His breath shook and he buried his face in your shoulder. As gently as possible, he felt your hands brush through his slightly-damp hair, brushing pieces out of his face and running over his head soothingly.
“It’s alright,” you mutter, kissing the top of his head.
“It’s not,” he tries to argue, realizing very quickly how quickly the exhaustion was hitting him. “I’m–I’m so sorry—”
You hush him gently, tilting his head to look at you. “Diluc, we don’t have to talk tonight. You’re home, you’re safe. That’s all that matters to me—but you’re exhausted. I can see it in your eyes. We can talk tomorrow. For now, sleep. It’s late.”
He took a deep, shaky breath and nodded. “I love you,” he muttered.
It took a long time for his mind to shut down. He couldn’t stop thinking—there was so much he felt like he had to explain. So much had happened, he’d missed so much since he was home. But he was home now, and he guessed that was the important part. After what felt like ages, he let himself relax against you and eventually fell asleep, enjoying the feeling of you running your hands through his hair. In a world where he now didn’t have anyone, and he didn’t know who he could or couldn’t trust, he knew he had you, at least in this moment.
~~
Well, I’ve been afraid of changing
‘Cause I built my life around you
taglist
@grays321 @dear-koi @animated-moon @dilfzuku @falling4fandoms @sirimirihiro @momoewn @poeberlyavenue
#//ɪɴʙᴏx#//800 event#//ᴏʀɪɢɴᴀʟ ᴡᴏʀᴋꜱ#//ᴏɴᴇꜱʜᴏᴛꜱ#genshin#genshin impact#genshin x reader#genshin impact x reader#genshin x gn reader#genshin impact x gn reader#diluc#diluc ragnvindr#diluc x reader#diluc ragnivindr x reader#diluc x gn reader#diluc ragnvindr x gn reader#diluc x male reader#diluc x you
116 notes
·
View notes
Text
'Tis the damn season- Sirius Black
If I wanted to know
Who you were hanging with
While I was gone, I would've asked you
It's the kind of cold
Fogs up windshield glass
But I felt it when I passed you
She felt weird being there, an intense feeling of guilt. She hadn't meant to leave. Really, it was the last thing on her mind at first. But everything felt claustrophobic, like the walls were closing in on her. Things with Sirius were in a weird place and really she wasn't 100% sure how to handle it. Then, all of a sudden, she had this job offer. It was temporary, 6 months in New York and she needed something that felt new and alive and she wanted to be far away from Sirius. Now everything had changed because 5 years later and she still lived an ocean away.
Remus was a teacher now. Lily and James were married with a kid and trying for another. Marlene was thinking about filing for divorce.
They weren't kids anymore. They were in their mid 20's.
She was home for Christmas. She didn't have family in New York nor England, but as they had every year prior Lily and James demanded she spend the holiday at their place.
"God I'm so glad you're here!" Lily is squealing, arms flung around her friend in the busy airport. Little Harry, who's 4 now is clinging to his godmothers leg with gleeful giggles
"Hey Lils," She smiles, a soft smile, as she returns the hug. Leaning down to pick Harry up "How's my little trouble maker?" She questions, propping the dark haired boy on her hip as she grabs her suitcase, listening to the child's babble and responding when needed as her and Lily make their way to the Potter's car.
Harry is babbling excitedly from the backseat, about father christmas and presents and chocolate, as Lily attempts to join the stream of traffic leaving the car park
"James is so sorry he couldn't come with us to pick you up, he got called into work last minute," Lily apologises as they start the hour long drive back to her home.
"Prongs knows I don't mind Lils, and so do you. Just grateful to have somewhere to spend Christmas,"
"And you should know we would never let you spend it alone," Lily reminds, her friend smiling softly.
"I do know that," She reassures. It was true. She'd grown up next door the Potter family, so inevitably James was one of her best friends. When they both made Gryffindor they stuck together, as everyone who knew them expected. They had their little group which eventually adopted her dorm mates, Lily, Dorcas and Marlene after Lily and Severus stopped speaking.
It had been content, the war was fought and they survived.
The friendships survived too for the most part the only lingering awkwardness being the one shared by her and Sirius. They never dated, technically, but they were in love. Utterly deeply in love. They had been since they were 15 and though they never actually confessed it, never allowed their friendship to blossom into something more, they both knew it. Sirius was her first kiss, her first time. He took her to dances and picked her up from class and she painted his quidditch number on her cheek for each game and stroked his hair. It wasn't a relationship, but in all ways but labels it was, which led to inevitable drama. It was unsustainable but nothing changed, they both knew it was why she left.
"You can ask y'know," Lily comments, eyes ever so briefly flickering to glance at her friend knowing the thoughts in her mind.
"Don't think I wanna know the answer," She shrugs, glancing out of the window. "Is he gonna- y'know," She trails off embarrassed to admit seeing him again had been on the forefront of her mind.
"Yeah he's spending the holidays too," Lily confirms, watching as her friend nods and knowing better than to ask her what she's thinking.
"Is he..." She trails off not entirely awkwardly, Lily glances at her intense eyes and a knowing smirk "Does he. I- A date? Is he bringing someone of the holidays?" She lets the question spill out
"No," Lily informs simply, she doesn't offer anything else, changing the conversation quickly.
There's an ache in you
Put there by the ache in me
But if it's all the same to you
It's the same to me
She'd known she was going to see him, with Lily's confirmation in her mind. She didn't know though, how she felt about it. Excited and nervous all at once, would he hate her? would he have moved on? Just because he wasn't bringing someone for the holidays didn't mean he didn't have someone.
She hadn't expected though, to see him quite so quickly. The car pulls into the drive and she knows immediately that he's there, motorbike tucked at the end of the drive way and the door is being pulled open by him. His hair is a little longer, though she hadn't seen him since last Christmas so she could have predicted that. He's clad in a warm looking jumper and some sweatpants, clearly cozy inside the comforting home.
"There's my little man!" He's cheering, wide grin, as he rushes to open a giggling Harry's car door, quickly fetching the child from his car seat and lifting him into a tight hug.
She wonders, briefly, if he was concentrating on not letting his eyes fall to her, or if maybe that magnetising need to look at each other wasn't there anymore. For him at least. She still can't imagine a view on earth she'd rather look at than that of Sirius Black.
"Thought you were coming tonight?" Lily questions, she's helping the girl with her bags but her eyes are watching Sirius, watching as he seems adamant on not looking at the girl who's staring at him so desperately Lily thinks she looks as if she could combust.
"Regulus' new girlfriend is a bore," Sirius shrugs, he knows he should greet her, that it's awkward not too, after all they are spending the next week in the same house. But he doesn't want to be the first to say something. He didn't leave. He didn't not return any calls.
"Hi Sirius," Her voice is timid and as much as he's glad to hear it, to see she's here, she's here and well and not got some boyfriend to spend her holidays with he hates it. Hates that she is reserved around him now.
"Hey, good flight?"
"Fine, crying baby but no turbulence,"
"That's good then, aside from the crying obviously," he feels like an idiot the second the words have left his mouth
"Yeah,"
"Cool," he wants to curse whoever has decided now would be a good time to remove every word he has ever known from his mind and leave him a boring, lifeless shell.
"What about you? How was Regulus?"
"Fine got a new girlfriend,"
"Heard she's a bore," The girl jokes and Sirius smiles, a real smile. Wondering, for a moment, when he last didn't have to force a smile.
It's then that Harry begins to whine, Lily swooping in to get him inside and get him a snack. The small moment effectively ruined.
So we could call it even
You could call me "babe" for the weekend
'Tis the damn season, write this down
I'm staying at my parents' house
And the road not taken looks real good now
And it always leads to you and my hometown
The house is cold, it hadn't been the whole evening, upstairs and tucked in the spare bed she hadn't been. James had insisted she take the guest room. He'd assured time and time again that Remus and Sirius didn't mind her having it. Remus was going to have a blow up bed in the office and Sirius was taking the couch. She had consistently tried to take either sleeping situation, feeling bad to be the one taking the bed. The offer was refused.
She's humming softly, some Christmas song that had been stuck in her head for days having heard it so many times recently. Her hands make light work of pouring milk into a pan, the lights in the kitchen set to dim.
"Let me guess, hot chocolate?" His voice is velvety, not at all laced with sleep. She wonders if he was laid awake too, thinking about how she was directly above him, so close yet impossibly far.
He had been.
"You know me too well," She agrees, voice soft. She doesn't turn around, feels almost embarrassed to be clad in reindeer print pj bottoms and some old jumper she'd had forever.
"You just haven't changed since we were eleven," He returns, leaning on the door frame.
"You want one?" She asks, moving towards the fridge to take out the milk once more.
"I got it," He announces. She nods, lets him cross the room to take out the milk, instead taking out another mug, and dumping 2 tablespoons of hot chocolate powder into it.
He arrives by her side, placing the milk down alongside a can of whipped cream.
"Pretty sure that's for Harry's special christmas eve hot chocolate, the one with a flake and marshmallows and smarties," She comments, her tone is soft, the adoration she has for the child evident.
"What he doesn't know won't hurt him," Sirius shrugs, he watches as she carefully adds more milk to the stove, "Just promise you won't tell on me yeah?"
"Your secret's safe with me," She confirms, she looks at him then. For the first time since he entered the room. He's already looking at her. With a look she can't read and so much intensity she wonders if anyone has ever looked at her like that before. He looks beautiful though, glowing in the soft lighting of the room.
"Y'know, I still do this every time I can't sleep," She informs him, eyes sincere and voice quiet, almost lost in the night.
He knows what she's trying to say. It had started when they were kids, he'd found her in the common room late at night on the second day of school. They'd spoken a little, but she'd stuck to James like glue, quiet when he wasn't by her side. She'd looked at him, wide glassy eyes. He'd asked what was wrong and she'd whispered to him about feeling like she was never going to belong in Gryffindor, not even at Hogwarts. He'd comforted her, wiped her tears away and helped her sneak to the kitchens, acting confident when in reality he'd never done it before either. He'd made the hot chocolate and she'd sat on a counter, he made her laugh and she suddenly felt like maybe everything would work out, like she might belong here after all.
It had become ritualistic for them. If one of them was sad they'd sneak to the kitchens and make hot chocolates and vent and cheer each other up.
Her first break up.
His bad fight with James.
Her dad passing.
His parents.
The war.
"I do too," He'd said quietly. Looking away now, almost like her words had hurt him even though it was the last thing she intended to do. "Milk's done," He adds, he wanted to leave the room, he was scared. Scared if he stood there, looking at her all domestic and cosy and glowing and beautiful, he wouldn't be able to resist the urge he'd been fighting since she climbed out of the car that morning.
I parked my car
Right between the Methodist and the school that used to be ours
The holidays linger like bad perfume
You can run but only so far
I escaped it too
Remember how you watched me leave
But if it's okay with you
It's okay with me
Her legs are curled under lap, almost cat like in the large arm chair. Remus in next to her, sprawled across the sofa with the crossword of the day from some muggle paper in his hands.
She has one too, in her lap, though she's hardly looking.
"Ok, I'm at a wall. Trade me," Remus announces, leaning across to hand her the paper he had been working on
"Huh?"
"Trade me?" He questions, eyebrows furrowing at her despondent face.
"Right," She nods, switching papers with him.
He looks at her crossword, hardly started and suddenly he feels bad.
"You okay?" He asks, he glances out of the window she's clearly looking out of. Sirius is out there, leather jacket and a loose scarf. He's laughing, head thrown back and eyes crinkled. Helping Harry, who Lily had bundled up extra tight, to build a snowman.
"Fine," She confirms, pulling her eyes away from Sirius to look at her friend.
"I can only imagine how hard this is for you," Remus says gently
"I'm okay," She shrugs. Remus nods, not sure what to say. It felt like a theme recently. In the 24 hours she'd been there Lily, James and Remus had all struggled. Not sure what to say to either of their friends. They clearly missed each other, clearly pined for each other. Yet, neither of them was doing anything about it, neither of them even wanted to talk about it.
"You know he never wanted kids," She speaks quietly, head motioning outside. "It was weird. I always thought he'd be a great dad. Still, think he would. I just- I guess I got it. His parents were-well, y'know- and I understood him not wanting to repeat that, thinking he'd be like him, his dad I mean. He wouldn't though. He'd have been a good dad. Still could be I guess,"
"I think so too," Remus confirms, eyes traveling to watch his friend as he helps Harry to roll a head for his snowman.
"I get that he was scared, just think it's a shame," She comments. She turns back to her crossword, to Remus' familiar scrawl. She'd said too much, she didn't want to put anyone in the middle of things.
"You're wrong," Remus speaks, still watching Sirius
"How so?"
"He wanted kids. He talked about it a bit," Remus explains, watching as she turns to look at him face contort with confusion, "Said he wanted them after the war. A boy first, then a girl,"
"He'd be a good girl dad,"
"Didn't seem to care too much," Remus shrugs, "He just wanted a family. Everyone to be happy and healthy and safe. Said he wanted a daughter cause he thought she'd look like you,"
"Me?"
"Who else would he have had this fictitious family with?" Remus shrugs
"Sirius didn't want to settle down, we all knew that,"
"If you'd asked he would have done,"
"Remus-" She sighs
"You know I'm right. He'd have done anything you asked,"
"That's not fair, I wasn't even his girlfriend,"
"Sorry. I'm not trying to put anything on you. I'm just saying, he would have done anything you asked. Think he probably still would,"
"I asked him to be my boyfriend. He said no," She states simply. She'd asked too early, that's what Sirius had always said. To ask right before a war was starting, when their lives were so imminently in danger. The label would make something happening to either of them so much worse, it's what he'd said when he rejected her.
Remus wants to say that if she'd asked again, asked after the war, that Sirius would have said yes. That he'd have married her on the spot if it's what she'd wanted. That Sirius had told him that the day before she left. But Remus decides it's not fair to put that on her. She left and Sirius stayed and either one of them could have changed everything.
"Let's talk about something else," Remus decides.
We could call it even
You could call me "babe" for the weekend
'Tis the damn season, write this down
I'm staying at my parents' house
And the road not taken looks real good now
Lily was stressed, that much was clear. Her hair was messy and Harry was whining on her hip. The kitchen a mess around her. James wasn't much better. Somewhere outside with Remus and Sirius, a desperate attempt to try and construct the goddamn gazebo.
"Lil, everything okay?" Her friends voice speaks from the doorway
"Oh hey, I didn't hear you get back," Lily speaks, her voice a little quick and eyes wide as she turns around, Harry starts to let out a whine and Lily's eyes screw shut.
Her friend is quick, reaching out to the toddler and distracting him quickly when she passes him his dinosaur toy from the kitchen counter. "What can I do?"
"Remind me to never listen to James and agree to host a stupid Christmas Eve party next year?" Lily questions, she's moving quickly back to the counter. Stirring the chocolate that's melting in a pan for dessert, momentarily abandoning the vegetables she had been cutting.
"Okay, and for right now?"
"I hate food cooked with magic, but this is hard and I have a thousand things to do and no time and-" Lily complains, eyes starting to turn glassy
"Lily, sweetheart, you are gonna be fine. Delegate okay? I chop a mean carrot,"
"No, you're a guest and-"
"Lil, what do you need?"
"Can you run to the supermarket?"
"Done," The girl nods, scribbling the list Lily recites onto an old envelope
"Take one of the boys with you, there's going to be a million bags," Lily instructs, pointing out her car keys as she turns back to her food prep "You're the best," She calls after her friend.
The silence in the car is awkward, they both hate it, because before all of this silence between them was never anything but comfortable. She has so much she wants to say and he does too, yet neither of them can even begin to find the words they would need.
"Got a lot to get?" Sirius questions from the passenger seat, fingers tapping anxiously at his thigh.
"There's a list in my bag," The girl answers, suddenly questioning if she'd come off blunt, she hadn't intended to.
"Can I?" He questions, head tilting to the tote bag on the back seat, unaware whether they were at an appropriate level to go rifling through each others bags.
"Sure," She agrees, he leans back, grabbing the bag and pulling it onto his lap.
He rifles through the bag for the list, trying to ignore the de ja vu the bag causes, her essentials the same as they were in her high school bag.
"You're a shit driver y'know?" he teases, looking up from the list when she takes a turn much too quickly, jolting him in his seat
"Maybe I had a really bad teacher," She shrugs in response, they both find their minds running to the summer Sirius had taught her to drive, her home opposite the Potter's allowing them to hang out every vacation.
"At some point you can't teach someone, trust me I tried,"
"You gave up,"
"Well at the time I was a glorified taxi service,"
"I'd say private chauffeur," She corrects, he smiles lightly
"I'm driving home,"
"Okay,"
Time flies
Messy as the mud on your truck tires
Now I'm missing your smile, hear me out
We could just ride around
And the road not taken looks real good now
And it always leads to you and my hometown
The black dress sparkles a little in the light of the guest room, ending at her thighs and tight to her body she turns a little in the mirror, she was running a little late but it had taken forever to get her hair to fall right.
She thought maybe she'd dragged out getting ready a little too long. The party had started downstairs, there was so many people. People from school. People she didn't know, new friends and colleagues. Her friends, all of them. Yet it was daunting. She thinks maybe it was the thought of Sirius, Sirius all dressed up because she just knew he'd look perfect. Sirius flirting with some girl he'd invited, or one of James' colleagues or someone from school.
She'd been drinking wine as she got ready, something she'd done to ease her nerves but now she almost regretted. Feeling a little tipsy and overly emotional, the idea of watching Sirius with someone else left her feeling a white hot anger in her very soul. A feeling she knew was incredibly unjustified, yet she couldn't push it away.
It's why, as she walked into the decorated living room, bee lining to Marlene, who was squealing at the sight of her well missed friend, she was glad to see Sirius was in the corner of the room playing with Harry.
She spends hours catching up with friends, making polite chit chat with people from distant memories, smiling and exchanging pleasantries with strangers. She allows some guy from Lily's work to flirt with her but doesn't give anything back.
She watches Sirius from afar. He looks beautiful, so utterly beautiful. He's dressed in a white shirt that's tight around his form, the top few buttons undone and his blazer abandoned somewhere.
He spends as much of his night as he possibly can with Harry, staying with the kid until he's tucking the sleeping boy into his bed. Partly because he firmly believes Lily and James deserve a night off, partly because it's the perfect alibi.
After that Sirius tries to float, doing little jobs to help things run smoothly and using a plethora of excuses to excuse himself from conversations. He feels rude, particularly to a girl from school who he is sure is nervous to approach him. He isn't rude. But he thinks maybe it comes off that way.
He's not sure is it's just that it hurts to see her so okay, head back laughing with her friends. Or maybe it's just how drained he's felt all day.
He grabs a bottle of champagne and his blazer, sneaking outside and to sitting on the floor round the side of the house. Out of sight from any windows. He digs through his blazer pocket for a packet of cigarettes and a lighter, a habit he's been trying to drop but honestly was struggling with.
Its 5 minutes of silence before he is the slight click of heels on the floor. He holds his breath, hoping to not be found. She rounds the corner and he exhales. Feeling less drained just at the sight of her.
"Got a light?" She questions, Sirius nods and watches as she crosses towards him, cigarette in one hand and glass of champagne in the other. She holds the cigarette out to him and he lights it for her. "Mind if I sit? Or I can go smoke in the back garden and we can both pretend the other person isn't out here?"
"Sit," He says simply, she nods, sitting next to him on the cold ground, Remus had shovelled snow all afternoon. "Since when did you smoke?"
"Since 2 years ago, I had some project due at work and I was crazy stressed. Some guy I work with offered me one and I accepted. Stupid looking back," She informs simply.
"It's bad for you,"
"I've been telling you that since we were 17," She reminds
"Been trying to quit," He admits, watching her as she stares at him. Her eyes are slightly hazy, he can see she's drank a little too much but she's holding herself together gracefully.
"That's good. I have too,"
"Good," He nods, he watches as she inhales and exhales and sips her champagne.
"Why are you out here?"
"It was too much in there," Sirius admits, she nods in quiet understanding
"I get that,"
"You always did. Get me," He sighs, almost wishfully
"I guess so,"
"Do you regret leaving?" He asks. He thinks maybe he shouldn't. That come morning maybe he'll regret it. But there's something about the way she looks in the moonlight. The way she's been looking at him since she came outside, and how it's the same way she's always looked at him.
"I'm really proud of my career. I wouldn't have it if I had stayed," She's careful in her words, he can see her thinking about them before she speaks
"Right." He nods, her words in his mind are a polite rejection.
Sleep in half the day
Just for old times' sake
I won't ask you to wait
If you don't ask me to stay
"Merry Christmas!" James' voice is loud as he enters the guest bedroom, flipping the light on without a care in the world
"I hate you," She states simply, they grew up together and James really was the closest thing she had to a brother. He smirks watching as she uses the thick sage green bedding to cover her eyes from the light.
"I know. Haz wants you to come downstairs so we can do gifts,"
"What time is it?"
"6. He's been up since 4," James informs, she pulls the duvet down from her face to see him leaning in the door way
"Fine," She agrees stretching a little before clambering from the bed. The matching Christmas pjs Lily had purchased for everyone bunched up a little.
"Hey, you doing okay? With Sirius I mean," James' voice drops low as he asks, eyes scanning the landing behind him briefly
"I'm fine," She can tell from the look on his face he doesn't believe her "Promise,"
"Mooney said he saw you guys sneaking back into the house last night. At the party," she hates the way his voice sounds hopeful
"We were both having a smoke James. It's nothing,"
"Thought you were quitting,"
"You sound like your mother,"
"Harsh! Go downstairs already woman," James teases, his tone light as he shoves her playfully on her way past him.
Lily makes mimosas and the group of friends share easy laughs as the day passes by, gifts exchanged and Harry smothered with love and attention. She decides it's the easiest day, people are distracted enough in the festivities the Potters have planned to not spend the whole day worrying about her and Sirius.
Without eyes on them they both find it easier to talk, they share whispered jokes and his dizzying beauty seems softer when he's smiling at her as they peel veg together.
"Lil I'm serious, go play with James and Harry. We can handle veg duty," She's determined in the way she gently pushes the girl through the archway into the kitchen.
"Thankyou sweetie," Lily is beaming, looking between her friend and Sirius's back knowingly before shooting her friend a knowing wink. "Rem, come with!" She calls as she retreats to the living room. Remus does as told, but not before giving Sirius a pointed look, one that screams 'SAY SOMETHING'.
"I've got the potatoes if you've got the carrots," Sirius offers
"Sounds good," She confirms, fluffy socks pattering on the floor as she takes her place beside him at the oak counter.
"When are you flying back to New York?"
"The 28th, I promised Mitch I'd be back in time for his birthday stroke crazy new years party,"
"That's fun," Sirius is lying. Nothing about what she just said is fun. It's the opposite. He has three more days before she's an ocean away all over again. She's rushing home, not staying for new years like she has every other year for some guy.
That's the least fun of all, Mitch. Who the fuck is Mitch? Sirius is racking his memories, in all the awkward Christmases they'd shared since she left she's never once mentioned a Mitch.
She sees the question in his eyes but doesn't say anything else. She's about to, truly she is, until the song playing through the small radio changes.
"Oh my god it's my favourite Christmas song!" She's beaming, dropping the carrot and knife she's holding and rushing to turn the music up.
He smiles gently, watching as she begins to dance around the kitchen. Red tartan pyjamas and the knit jumper Remus gifted her, he can't stop his mind from running to all the summer holidays they'd make breakfast together in the Potter's kitchen and she'd dance around.
"God, you still can't dance," He teases, gentle smile
"Shut up and dance with me!" She demands, she stretching an arm out to him and fuck he wishes he knew how to say no to her.
They jump around and sing along, hands linked together as he twirls her around the room, hearts beaming and flooding the room with laughter.
The song ends and she's breathless, chest to chest, so close to each other.
"Mitch?" He can't help the question, not when he's so close to her, not when it's taking everything in him not to lean down and kiss her
"He's gay."
"Oh,"
"There's no one else for me," She says it quietly, hands dropping his and looking down to her feet, almost embarrassed to admit it
His hand shoots up, cupping her cheek gently and forcing her to look at him
"Me either," He reassures, voice smooth and soft.
So I'll go back to LA
And the so-called friends who'll write books about me if I ever make it
And wonder about the only soul who can tell which smiles I'm faking
And the heart I know I'm breaking is my own
To leave the warmest bed I've ever known
James Potter can make a kick-ass espresso martini. It wasn't new information, he always made cocktails in the evening on Christmas. The rest of the inner friend group (the other girls from the dorm at school) and their spouses would come over, they would play stupid games and listen to the music they grew up on and the parents would take it in turns to check on Neville and Harry who by this point would be sound asleep in Harry's space themed bedroom.
Lily had gawped with wide eyes when she'd chosen the seat next to Sirius at Christmas dinner. Remus almost choked on his carrot when Sirius had ever so casually wrapped his arm around her at the table and she had leaned into his touch Marlene had been shooting her friend knowing looks all night, eyebrows raised in question at the way she'd been perched on the arm of his arm chair the whole night.
Nothing had happened. Not really. But something in the air had changed, something in the way he was looking at her was different, the longing glances had lost their sadness.
The night ends slowly, Marlene and Dorcas wander out into the night. Alice heads to where James had pulled out the sofa bed in the office. Lily leaves having checked on the kids one last time.
She's the next to head to bed, acutely aware of the sound of Sirius behind her on the stairs even though he's been sleeping downstairs the whole trip.
"What are you doing up here?" She whispers the question in the hallway as Sirius arrives on the landing.
"I wanted to say night," He whispers back, he looks too pretty. The warm lighting from the downstairs light makes him almost glow and he has a drunken grin on his face. She's no better, her eyes glassy from one too many of those damned martinis.
"You said night downstairs," She counters, he rolls his eyes fond gentle smile as he tucks her hair behind her ear.
"I'm glad you're here,"
"Me too," She confirms it quietly "Look forward to getting to see you, talk to you all year." He doesn't know if the light blush on her cheeks is from the alcohol or the whispered confession.
"Doesn't have to just be at Christmas y'know? You could call, visit even. I really miss you," He isn't shy in his confession. He'd scream it from the rooftops if it meant she might be a part of his life again for more than just the holidays.
"Sirius," Her voice is soft, he's too close. He is so close and she feels overwhelmed by him, drunk on his scent and using all her self control to keep her hands out of his hair.
"I mean it, darling. Truly," His hand reaches out, firm against her chin. "Hey, look," He speaks, face close enough she feels his breath on her face. She follows his eyes, looking up to see a sprig of mistletoe above them.
James does it every year, enchants mistletoe to sprout above two people in love. Mainly, he does it so he can kiss Lily and remind her to stop being so stressed about hosting and actually enjoy the holidays. Partly, he did it in the hopes it might help his two friends find their way back to each other.
"Can I?" Sirius's question is full of nerves, scared he's pushing her too far
"Always,"
It's gentle and timid, the way he pushes his lips to hers. It's safe at first, a peck. Neither wants the other to freak and run.
He's the one to push it further, though that isn't really surprise.
He pulls her ever closer, chest to chest and his big arms wrap around her, holding her to him. He kisses her like he's desperate, scared if he stops he'll loose her all over again.
She feels like she can breathe properly for the first time in years. Feels a weight off her shoulders as she allows her hands to tangle into his hair, a craving she'd had every time she looked at him. She lets him man handle her towards the door to the guest room.
His tongue pushing into her mouth as he holds her against the wall by the door. One of her hands stays tangled in his hair as the other moves down to hold onto the warm skin of his hip, fingertips slipping under his maroon sweater.
His hand travels down, landing on her bum with a firm squeeze and the motion seems to bring her back to her senses a little. She pulls away, though Sirius is quick to chase her kiss swollen lips with his own. She giggles in response, one last chaste peck to his lips before she looks him in the eyes, blown out a little with lust and creased from his bright grin.
"Sirius," She sighs out, he smirks head falling to allow himself to press a trails of kisses down her jaw and onto her neck
"Darling," he murmurs against her skin
"This is a really bad idea," Her point seems a little futile as she moves her head to the side to allow him more space to press his kisses
"Tell me you want me to stop. Say the word and I'll go back downstairs and you can go to sleep and we can wake up and pretend none of this happened,"
We could call it even
Even though I'm leaving
And I'll be yours for the weekend
'Tis the damn season
He doesn't think he's ever seen a sight so beautiful. She's laid next to him, body lit by the pale moonlight casting through the window. Her skin is bare and flushed and she fits against his body as perfectly as she always has.
Her leg is strewn over his naked torso, her head resting on his chest, hand reaching up to comb her fingers through his hair.
His arm that wraps around her lands on her back, thumb pressing comforting circles into her back.
"You're so perfect," He speaks into the quiet. She tilts her head up on his shoulder, allowing him to see her beaming face
"Sirius, you are the most beautiful person I've ever known," Her tone is impossibly soft, as his heart in that moment. The sincerity in her voice makes his whole body feel warm.
He feels too overwhelmed by the sickly sweet love in his chest to come up with much of a response, instead he presses his lips to her forehead an action so full over love and comfort it almost hurts her chest.
"I'm gonna hate having to miss you again," She says softly, her settling back into his chest as he squeezes her closer
"Only ever a phone call away," He hums hand moving to toy with the ends of her hair
"You could visit?" She suggests, scared he'll laugh at the thought though she has no reason to be
"Anything, if you want me to do it I will," His promise makes her grin widely, she leans up to press a gentle kiss to his lips.
The quiet takes over once more, both basking in having the other in there arms again, a feeling they'd been craving in the years of absence.
"I'm sorry I left," She whispers, she'd wanted to say it a thousand times, truly she had.
"I'm sorry I didn't come after you," He pauses for a beat, he thinks maybe the question is too big, what he's asking of her too much. His eyebrows furrowing as he thinks, deep pout on his lips.
"What are you thinking about?" She questions, thumb gently smoothing out the lines in his frown
"Stay," He says it quietly, so quiet she almost misses it. "Please, I need you to stay,"
We could call it even
You could call me "babe" for the weekend
'Tis the damn season, write this down
I'm staying at my parents' house
And the road not taken looks real good now
She hadn't technically said no. She hadn't said anything really.
She'd felt like an idiot, sitting up in the bed to better at Sirius. Blinking as her mind raced, what if she did stay? what would she be staying for? would he finally be ready to commit to her or was he asking her to give up the career she worked so hard for to be around when he wanted a casual fuck?
"Say something," He hated how much his own voice sounded like it was begging, he hated the look in her eyes. The guilt. She was going to say no. He was certain of that as he looked at her.
"Say anything," He doesn't mean to sound angry. Doesn't mean to make her feel bad.
She's left, blinking as she desperately tries to gather her thoughts. He gets out of bed.
His movements around the rooms are sharp and hurried, tugging his clothes back on.
"Sirius," She says, she needs him to look at her. Needs him to stop for a second, to talk to her.
"No," His hands tug his jumper over his head as he moves towards the door
"Stop. Sirius, please just wait," She clambering out of the bed to follow him, grabbing her pyjama pants and pulling them up quickly as she reaches for the large knit sweater. She's following him down the stairs of the silent house.
He slams the front door in her face before she has the chance to follow him out into the snow. She hears the revving of his motorbike before the engine kicks in, hears the way it fades away as he races into the night.
She feels like an idiot. Feels pathetic as she sinks to the ground, back pressed to the front door. She had vowed a long time ago to stop crying over Sirius Black yet she can't stop herself.
"What's going on?" Remus is calling. Woken up by the sound of the slamming door. She wipes at her tears, desperate to hide them from him but the second he sees her and sends her a soft smile she's blubbering all over again.
"He left. He fucking just left," She's hiccuping through her crying, and he joins her on the old wooden floor.
"What happened?" He asks gently, a comforting hand squeezes at her knee.
"We slept together,"
"Ok, ok and then he just left?"
"No. He asked me to stay and I- I froze Rem. I sat there like an idiot and didn't say anything. He just- I needed to think and he wouldn't give me fucking second,"
"What would you have said?"
"I don't know what he wants. If he wanted to try like really try I would have said yes,"
"He needs to know that,"
Time flies
Messy as the mud on your truck tires
Now I'm missing your smile, hear me out
We could just ride around
And the road not taken looks real good now
She hadn't been to his apartment before. Remus had apparated her there and waited with her in a comfortable silence until he'd arrived. Sat on the curb outside, her head on his shoulder. Knowing he was home Remus left, she was safe on the busy London street, Sirius wouldn't let any harm come to her despite the deep sigh he lets out at the sight of her.
"I wanna be alone,"
"Too bad. I need to talk to you," She demands, arms crossed in front of her.
"We can talk later,"
"No Sirius. You don't get to say all that shit to me and then just leave,"
"Fine. come on,"
He leads her in an awkward silence up into the building, refusing to look at her in the short elevator ride to the 8th floor.
His apartment is very him, it's cosy and homely and smells like the Gryffindor common room.
He drops onto the sofa in the living room, she's too busy eyeing the framed photos on the wall, heart melting a little at the photo of the two of them, both in school uniform sat by the black lake her head on his shoulder his arms holding her close to him. Matching bright grins staring back at her.
"You wanted to talk," He reminds, embarrassed that even after rejecting him she's seeing his framed photo of her.
" The other day, at the party You asked me if I regret leaving? I lied. No I didn't lie. I just- I didn't tell you the truth. I regret it, every fucking day I regret it, I lay awake every night thinking about what we could have been if I'd stuck around,"
"It's a little late for that," he grumbles, arms folded and a stoic look on his face
"Could you just listen to me?" She snaps, "I've been in love with you since I was 14 Sirius and you have never ever wanted a relationship,"
"That's not true," He protests
"Oh. So you just didn't want one with me?" She feels like an idiot, standing in front of him. Their friends were wrong, she was wrong.
He hates the hurt in her voice, the tears in her eyes.
He's on his feet now, passing over the burgundy rug to grab her hand in his
"That's not what I mean. I just- I was scared, scared if you were mine and something happened. I couldn't have lived through that,"
"You never told me that, you always just said you weren't a boyfriend guy,"
"I could be. For you I could be,"
"Why did you leave?" She questions, desperate to know why he couldn't have given her just a few minutes to work things out
"I couldn't hear you tell me that you don't love me enough to stay,"
"I would never say that,"
"No?" He questions timidly, his eyes searching her desperately
"No," She shakes her head "If I stay this can't be what it was. I'm giving up my life here. We are older now and we are safe and this has to be real,"
"It's always been real to me. I'm in love with you, been in loved with you since second year and I will be until the day I die. So sweetheart, please, please be mine? for real this time,"
"It'll always be you Sirius," She promises, his lips kiss her and she feels herself fall in love with him all over again.
And it always leads to you and my hometown
It always leads to you and my hometown
#harry potter fanfiction#sirius#sirius black x reader#sirius black#harry potter#sirius orion black#sirius x reader
69 notes
·
View notes
Text
Socially awkward
Summary: a socially awkward girl experience love for the first time.
Paring: non!Danielle x non!Fem!reader
English isn't my first language
It was a time you weren't socially awkward, this was until you entered junior high school. Suddenly, you were left with no friends. The only reason was you. Your classmate tried to befriend you but for some reason you rejected them, like you were better off alone.
Well that's what your dad told you, that you were better off alone. Being the good and only daughter he would ever have, you decided to precisely listen to his words. It isn't what he really meant, but as your grade get higher and your parents not even asking you to study because you were passing the time by it. He never really clearly mentioned that you could try make new friends, he actually brush it off.
It was the main reason of your parents fighting, and as you get to high school, they divorced. It didn't really affected you, it was like being with your parents or in your room most of the time, turned off emotions inside. When fighting with your dad, your mom once called you 'the bot you made', you felt sad but at the same time you didn't cared.
But experiencing the debut of teen with no friend, left some problems. Now you don't know how to make a friendly conversation or to just simply interact with someone. People thought that you were maybe really shy but that was not true at all.
You didn't cared about everything, the only thing that you cared about were grades. It was the only thing you, were happy about, sad about, and made you proud.
So the first day of high school, you didn't expected Danielle Marsh (Mo Jihye) to sit next to you and eventually talk to you.
"Hi, I'm Danielle !" She said smiling as she sat down next to you on the empty sit, offering you her hand. You just stared at her, not knowing what to do in slight panic.
"You're supposed to shake my hand.." She mentioned still offering her hand with a big smile as you shake it in return.
You noticed how her eyes arched and the positivity in her. And for some reason you decided not to push her away. (^^)
As the months past, she was like glued to you.
Pretending that she needed some help with the class she failed since you were the top student. It was obvious to everyone that she likes you, but for you, she was a clingy popular girl that wanted everyone to be her friend.
"You know you should stop following her around like that." Minji, one of Danielle's best friend said as she stared at the younger girl who had just sat down.
"Yeah! You should just ask her out!" Hyein said exited.
She often called herself a Cupid, and she's 100% sure that they were a chance with you.
"It's not as easy. She's just so.."
"Weird?" Haerin spoke up, as everyone glared at her.
"What im just trying to help her." She crossed her arms, leaning back as Danielle talked again.
"She's a little like you, but in a more exaggerated way." Hanni noticed making Haerin giggled in fake shock.
"It's not that she's weird, it's just seems like she has been leaving in a cavern." Danielle said responding to what the cat girl told her as she sighed not knowing what to do.
In the other hand, you didn't know either what to do. You had this feeling you couldn't push away when you were with Danielle. It was like your heart will explode at any moment, and your stomach felt weird. She made you nervous, but at the same you liked it?
Or maybe you just enjoyed not being alone anymore.
One day there were a party coming up, and Danielle begged you to go with her.
"Please, Yn! It's gonna be so fun, you can take a break from studying, just for one night, i promise I'll take you home early." And for some reason you ignored, you said yes.
At first, you weren't as uncomfortable as you thought you would be in parties, or maybe it was because Danielle were as always glued to you. She introduced you to her friends, and you tried to keep up as much as you could the conversation. It somehow made Danielle proud of you.
"Yeah my sister is so annoying! And you do you have siblings?" Minji asked smiling, getting to know you.
"No, it's just me. My parents wanted an only boy, actually." You said in the best polite and friendly tone you could've ever express and use.
And all of her friends were starting to like you, you even noticed the fact that Haerin and you had a lots of things in common, you both loved a lots of things and actually chat a lot. Being the two less talkative, it was weird for the other seeing you two talk this much like fangirling over each other.
That was until a random girl started to hit on Danielle, being all touchy and flirty. You just stared at them, as if your heart were about to drop. Your hands were shaking, and fighting the urge to punch the girl.
It was a mix of confusion, envy and anger. And you hated that, it made you wanna run away but at the same time you couldn't left. So without thinking you pushed the other girl away with an upset look.
It was maybe the first time people had seen you with a face other than annoyance or neutral. The girl and Danielle were confused, why have you pushed the girl away. In defence, the girl pushed you back but Danielle got also angry. Who on earth she thought she was to touch you.
"Go the fuck away." Was what Danielle growled, like an angry bodyguard. A lot of people were staring at you, so in embarrassment you walked in fast speed towards the exit, Danielle running after you.
It was shocking for everyone to watch the high school sweetheart swear and the most calm girl act this way.
"Y/n what was that about-!"
"You said you would drop me off early." So here they were, in the car as Danielle drove to your house.
You hesitated a minute before opening the car door.
"Yn wait. Can we please talk about what happened?"
You said nothing, glaring at her as you sat back in the car closing the door. She waited for you to express at least a little word. Since she was 'friend' with you, you haven't talk longer that needed or about your emotions.
But tonight, it felt like you needed to let out everything you had been feeling for her.
"I don't know!" You said raising your voice a little in frustration.
"I was just... angry? About the way she was with you. This past few months have been driving me crazy."
"Why?" She said in concern but she wasn't dumb, she deep down knew what you meant, she just needed to make sure she wasn't assuming things.
"I don't know, it's like when I'm with you, my chest hurt because my heart beat to fast, and even more when you say something nice. I get embarrassed but not in a bad way and I don't know why I feel like that!" You said as your eyes started to tear up a little.
Danielle heart melt as she hugged you. It was a nice feeling of love and comfort, and it made you happy.
"Y/n, what you've been going through if I'm not wrong are feelings. I think you have feelings for me."
Feelings? Like your parents had or couples in general. You think a moment, as you stared back at her. Her lips glowing from the lipstick she borrowed you, her eyes stinking in concern and happiness. It's true you would really like to hug her more, hold her hands, or hear kind words from her.
It hit you like a truck, the only feeling you haven't experienced yet was love in a romantic way, that was why you were so dumbfounded, so lost in your own thoughts.
Danielle concern grew, she was happy but at the same time so scared that you would reject her because she guessed wrong. She bite her lip in nervousness waiting for you to say something.
You hugged her and she immediately hugged back as you mumbled.
"I think I have romantic feelings for you." She stopped hugging you as she processed what you've had say.
It has been month since she had wait for you to finally said those words, month of her talking about you to her friends as they all called her delusional.
"Can I kiss you?" She blurted out quietly, regretting her words and mentally punching herself for that. But you in return, you lean in instinctively.
And it finally happened, you kissed. It was slow and hesitant but passionate. You felt all the feelings you could've even felt towards Danielle in one kiss. It was like a dream and you could seriously get addicted. Danielle smile as she stopped kissing, because you needed to breath. "I like you too, Yn." And she went back to kiss you once more.
#newjeans#danielle#minji#hyein new jeans#wlw#haerin#hanni pham#newjeans x reader#x reader#gxglesbianlgbt#danielle x reader#danielle marsh#danielle marsh x reader#x female reader#lgbtq
166 notes
·
View notes
Text
surprise visit ☆ | shuri x fem!actress!reader
shuri decides to pay you a surprise visit on the set of your movie. it’s safe to say she doesn’t like seeing you kiss other people.
warnings : costar being a little pushy
word count : 1k+
note : this is a special one shot featuring actress!reader and shuri since they’re what helped me get to 100 followers !! i’m still so happy that people like my stuff enough to follow me lol but i hope y’all enjoy
you and shuri had been apart for a few weeks after shooting began again. the kimoyo bead calls resumed again, but you attempted to put more effort into them. you missed shuri more than ever after being forced to spend time with costars you weren’t too fond of. the main costar was constantly flirting with you despite telling him you were not interested in the slightest. the other costars had been fine you guessed, but hollywood makes it hard to form genuine connections with those around you. they never actually cared to ask about what kind of person you were. they would only ever ask what it’s like to be dating royalty and how often she spoils you. eventually the awkward laughter and begging of moving onto the next conversation topic failed to work.
shuri would listen in on your day through true calls as she worked on her various projects or walked around the palace. she was interested in helping you run lines and discuss what could be better about your delivery. shuri was by far your biggest fan and you adored that about her. she supported you through everything.
as filming kept going, shuri grew curious of what it could be like to be on set of a major hollywood movie. she was always fascinated with american pop culture like coachella and just how fame as a whole worked over there. so, she took it upon herself to plan a surprise visit to cheer you up a little. the only problem was that she couldn’t have come at a worse time.
“action!” the director yelled as you heard the snap of a clapperboard.
the rain began pouring down from the sprinklers placed above you and your costar. your latex white suit was beginning to grow more and more uncomfortable with every new take you were forced to participate in. your performance was incredible of course, but your costar kept requesting to retake the scene until the kiss was perfect.
yeah. a kiss.
he made his way towards you as you stood on the dirt. you could feel the mud forming under your feet as you stood in the same spot you had been in for the past five takes.
shuri had sneaked her way onto the set without your knowledge as you performed your take. she was sat next to the director, who eagerly shook hands with her and demanded an intern pull up a chair for her. you were far too into the take to notice her sitting right to the side of you though. your eyes were solely on your costar.
“landen?” you spoke out with a shaky voice as if you couldn’t believe he was really in front of you. you made your lip tremble and your eyebrows raise at the sight of him. the camera panned around to your costar to get the look on his face: he had been smiling while happy tears of his own were mixing in with the rain. despite your costar’s unprofessional crush on you, he was a great actor.
“tati…” he croaks out as you stand there staring at each other for a while.
your legs pick up as his do, now running towards one another. the dirt kicked up against your white suit as your feet made contact with the ground.
you feel yourself being embraced in a not so warm hug, due to the rain temperature, by your costar. it was hard to act like you were deeply in love with him considering how awkward he made things constantly.
shuri can feel herself cringing in her seat. she was not enjoying the way his hands were sliding down your uniform. wasn’t this supposed to be romantic? it was more sleezy than anything and she knew you hated it.
you didn’t mind it though. it was annoying, sure, but it was written in the script so you just had to do your job. after all, it wasn’t like you felt really any emotions about the task. the sooner you got it done the quicker you could rest in your hotel room.
you pull away from him and hold his face. his hands remain on your waist and you still aren’t necessarily used to the contact despite all the takes. all you could think about was your girlfriend as he leaned in close.
then closer.
and closer.
your lips collided with his but it wasn’t like you enjoyed a single second of it. kissing costars was simply just a job that you hated most about acting. especially when you have a loving girlfriend at home.
shuri could feel her teeth gritting as she watched him kiss you so passionately. she had never been able to actually watch your on screen kisses because it made her incredibly jealous. however, now she had to watch you kiss him. knowing it took so many takes, and may require more, she couldn’t handle it. she wanted to punch the guy’s lights out.
“cut!” the director beside shuri yelled loudly to the production and cast. she watched as you escaped your costar’s grasp and went over to the coffee table. he had been trailing after you.
“you did great like always!” your costar spoke to you. he was fairly well known and handsome if you were into guys. he wasn’t much older than you and really seemed decent outside of the fact he wouldn’t drop his crush on you. sometimes you just wish people could catch a hint instantly.
you simply nodded to him and smiled as you began pouring your coffee. if you were being honest, small talk wasn’t really for you. especially when you were tired and drained of all feeling.
“i think we could do another take though.”
this was when you became annoyed.
“we’ve already done enough. even the director said so last take. just choose your best out of the ones already shot so we can move on.”
if you were being honest you knew your heart wasn’t into the take because there just wasn’t a feeling of mutual respect between you two. how could you fake an expression so many times that you could never even feel towards that person. at first it was easy but then annoyance set in after the third take and you put yourself on autopilot.
“oh c’mon y/n. i want this movie to be perfect and the chemistry really has to be there. what’s one more kiss?” he said as he leaned on the table and snatching up your coffee. some of it had spilled on your hand in the process causing you to wince.
“i think she said just choose a different take, stupid american.” a familiar voice said from behind you. you quickly turn your head, forgetting the burning sensation on your hand. you were far too happy to worry about the coffee now.
“shuri!” you ran into her arms and she smiled as you hugged her tight. “i’ve missed you. this is such a surprise!”
you couldn’t see it but shuri was giving your costar a look capable of taking down an entire army. he got the hint after she began flaring and quickly set down your fresh coffee before going on his way.
“what are you doing here?” you cant help but ask as you grab some napkins off the table.
“i thought i’d visit you for once. plus i’ve never been on a movie set before.” she says while a laugh escapes her ever so perfect lips. you smiled at her laughter as you admired how dashing she looked. she was wearing a tracksuit, which she had begun growing a collection of. her glasses rested stop her curls which you knew was definitely going to make an indent later.
“well i’m glad to see you. i should have some time in between the next take.” you grab onto her hand and begin dragging her off to your trailer.
“good. i can show you what real kissing is like.” she whispered ever so seductively in your ear as she caught up to your pace. you felt your face burn from the words she spoke. her accent truly did just make everything sexier.
you decided you wanted shuri to visit you on set far more often.
˖⁺｡˚⋆˙✧⋆｡°✩☼⋆｡°✩☽
#stvrdrops#fanfic#mcu shuri#princess shuri#shuri#shuri fanfiction#shuri x reader#actress!reader & shuri#shuri x y/n#shuri/reader#shuri x you#shuri fluff
533 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
ask-five-nerd-medics
Five Nerd Medics That Should Probably Be Doctors
jonismitchell
DREAM GIRL EVIL
youngclassic1979
Young Classic 1979
nikmatdunia25
Untitled
nikmatdunia25
Untitled