But the absence of a thing will loom larger than its presence...

Maddie Mortimer, Maps of Our Spectacular Bodies (Picador; March 31, 2022) 

My Month in Books: January 2023

I really struggled with reading this month. After nearly reaching 50 at the end of last year and coupled with a crazy work month, I haven’t felt the most motivated to read or felt pressured by the internal numbers game. Which is something I never subscribed to until I realized that reading 50 books was a possibility for me. Seeing how much other people read does impact me more than I would like to think it does.

Still, I read three! And it was proof that I need to get back to the mindset that 2 books a month is a good goal to keep me in the habit, that reading a lot is not the same thing as reading well, and that our reading numbers fluctuate for all sorts of reasons.

Maps of Our Spectacular Bodies by Maddie Mortimer: First of all, this bitch is MY age and the sophistication of this story is so upsetting to me. Maps tells the story of Lia, a happily married mother of a young daughter, who is diagnosed with terminal cancer. The book flips back and forth between Lia’s present process of dying, Lia’s past being raised the daughter of an evangelical minister and her abusive first relationship, and the voice of her cancer. I so, so, so enjoyed this. The second quarter of this book was a little muddy but it really stuck the landing. The perspective she has on Matthew is so interesting and felt very real to me. From the outsider’s perspective, we can see that a teenager and a twenty-something should…like not be dating. The way that MM shows how being with someone with that sort of critical age difference impacts Lia’s relationship to herself, her self-worth and confidence, isolates her from her peer group, makes her lonely before any physical abuse has even occurred is really subtle. The implication that what abuse looks like can be different, can be subtle, can even be unintentional is so good here—Matthew gets with Lia, I think, initially less from a sense of power but rather from a profound immaturity without understanding the profound implications of a fifteen year old having sex with a twenty-one year old. The idea that she views this relationship as a romance, even after it’s violent conclusion and takes on some of the blame for the fact that Matthew abuses her, still, years later, I think is also really well-done. It’s a complicated dynamic and MM allows us to be immersed in an uncomfortable, unsafe, and unreconciled point of view. The twist at the end, the idea that we’ve been living inside a retelling of Wuthering Heights the whole time made me lose my mind, I will not lie to you. I get why people will not like this book the way I did. I think so much of my enjoyment has to do with the fact that I listened on audio and so the things that felt gimmicky in print and might have driven me crazy if I was reading a physical copy of the book. this book is flawed, certainly, and could have used with some grounding but!!! I still gave it 5 stars. (Recommended via Jen Campbell’s YouTube Channel)

The 13 Clocks by James Thurber: This was a perfect read for a snowy day!! I read this in two big gulps. It’s a delightfully dark children’s book about an evil Duke who keeps his niece, the beautiful Saralinda, captive in a cold castle. A prince, with the aid of a magical creature called a Golux, go on a mission to rescue her. It’s Jacobean and whimsical and dark. I think that if I had read this as a child I would have lost my mind and it would have altered my brain chemistry. It’s fun as an adult because the pattern of the language is so much fun to chew on but I literally cannot wait to read this to a kid. Neil Gaiman listed it as one of his favorite books and I have an interview with him about this book queued up and I can’t wait to hear more.

The Secret History by Donna Tartt: I have finally read it! And I am in the camp that loved it lol. I think its use of perspective is brilliant, the characters and setting are so well-drawn. It is truly immersive. What I don’t see people talking enough about is how poundingly funny it is? People talk about adapting it into a film or show and it always sounds so serious and it’s like…this would literally be Derry Girls with murder. I do have two criticisms which is…I think the last third is quite bloated and loses focus. I also think that Charles’ descent and apparent control and jealousy over Camilla needed more set up….like, her and Henry’s relationship felt very complete even while it occurred off-screen and I had the impression that incest could be a twist early on but…I felt like it needed more flesh to it. But other than that, so so so so good. I do think it hits a little different if you went to a small New England liberal arts college…like there were parts that rang uncomfortably true about the culture of Hampden. And having lived in the area where it was set for many years…there’s a mythology to the region that DT plays on really well.

Maddie Mortimer, Maps of Our Spectacular Bodies [via. thesilverolfactory]

Much easier to miss someone than it is to love them.

Maps of Our Spectacular Bodies by Maddie Mortimer

Tagged by: @chispas-and-broken-bindings @palominojacoby @gardenarcana @glittertrail

NOT tagged by: @attonitos-gloria who understands the best way to get me to do things is to tell me not to do them.

3 ships: omg Irene/Gen from Queens Thief forever and always; Sansa/Yara from GoT; and Geoffrey/Oliver (unrequited; toxic) from Slings and Arrows

first ever ship: Remus and Tonks from Harry Potter babbbbyyyyyy I refuse to accept the cringe of this

last song: this cover of breezeblocks by Taylor Rae.

last movie: Sherpa; a documentary about Phurba Tasha who is a legendary guide on Mount Everest. It was filmed during the 2016 (?) avalanche that prompted a rebellion amongst the Sherpa guides and talked about the history of climbing Everest, including Tenzing Norgay who assisted Edmund Hilary, and the tensions between the climbers and the people who actually get them up the mountain. 10/10

currently reading: the secret history by Donna Tartt and Maps of Our Spectacular Bodies by Maddie Mortimer. Both are driving me to madness

currently watching: I now only consume Architectural Digest tours for my mental health

currently consuming: yogurt and peanut butter and banana and a homemade dark chocolate pecan cookie from a box that my coworker brought in for me because she is a perfect angel person 😭😭😭😭😭

currently craving: everyone to get out of the shared work document that I’m working on so I can fix everything because I know how to fix it you just have to let me have complete control and it will all be fine. Shhh it’s going to be okay; I will fix. I am being so brave about all of this.

Also those marinated ramen eggs.

When you know the damage unheard words can do, it becomes hard not to plant ghostly little departed imprints of them everywhere.

Maps Of Our Spectacular Bodies, Maddie Mortimer

bella and mortimer goth cc list from “when we were young”

Bella:  hair: 1, 2, 3 (aurora), 4 (donna) | skincolor | eyes | eyelashes |  eyeliner: 1, 2, 3 | the red lipstick | sunglasses | necklace | nails |

clothes: 1 (carrie), 2 (maddy dress), 3 (racer leather jacket), 4 (teddie jeans), 5 (calipso dress), 6 (baewatch swimsuit), 7 (abigail outfit) shoes: 1, 2, 3

Mortimer:  hair, skincolor, eyebags clothes: 1 (peyton outfit), 2 (turtleneck + jacket), 3 (clement outfit), 4 (lothario jacket), 5 (swimwear), 6 (turtleneck), 7 (chinos)

couldn’t find the Isaac Coat outfit (proposal picture) but its from AdrienPastel! 

Babies, Graduating, and Weddings!

Dylan and Kerry had their daughter Lacie. Dylan knows her but doesn't know her. For the story i guess...

Dylan Graduated High School and Moved in with Jaclyn Crawley. A year went by and Dylan proposed and they got married.

Allison became pregnant with their 5th child and its a GIRL!! They named her Madeline/Maddie/Maddy and she also was in labour during the wedding.

I decide to have Kaden the second son of Cohen and Allison to be Generation 2 Heir. He is in a relationship with Kiley Goth daughter of Mortimer and Bella Goth.

Dylan's story will still be played but im gonna try and focus on Kaden and Kiley :D

Much easier to miss someone than it is to love them... Easier to regret than it is to act.

Maddie Mortimer, Maps of Our Spectacular Bodies (Picador; March 31, 2022) 

Maddie Mortimer Maps of Our Spectacular Bodies [via. thesilverolfactory]

I was so desperate to be your answer, I’d hardly listened to the question.

Maps of Our Spectacular Bodies by Maddie Mortimer

The novelist was in her early teens when her mother, the writer and film-maker Katie Pearson, died of cancer. She reflects on the insights, inspiration and comfort she’s found in journals written over 27 yearsWhen my mother died in...

Still in awe that Maddie Mortimer was barely into her 20s and wrote Maps of Our Spectacular Bodies

Hi! Thank you @queen0fthenorth I am breathing deep breaths.

1. Are you named after anyone?

My first name is after a book; my middle name is after my mother’s grandmother, and my initials are a pun because my parents are extra.

2. When was the last time you cried?

I finished Maps of our Spectacular Bodies by Maddie Mortimer today and it just absolutely floored me and I cried as much from the emotional impact of the narrative as I did from how brilliant it was. Wow. Just wow. Like, human genius is an amazing thing?!?! and this book is like…a reason that stories exist? I don’t know. Just still crying about it.

3. Do you use sarcasm?

Ummm. Technically yes, I guess? I don’t love the implication of sarcasm which is…being derisive or being really overly ironic or making someone feel stupid. I think I’m quite dry though.

4. What's the first thing you notice about people?

Hands (and if I’m being honest, boobs. I’m sorry. It’s respectful I promise.)

5. What's your eye color?

BROWN

6. Scary movie or happy ending?

Happy ending?! I guess?! Honestly, I want the horror to come from human folly and the happiness to be undercut by some inevitable tragedy. 🤷🏻‍♀️

7. Any special talents?

I can play Fur Elise with my toes on the piano.

8. Where were you born?

In the same hospital as my mother! Which is cute, I think!

9. What are your hobbies?

Reading, painting, biking, hiking, wandering into places I definitely shouldn’t go, and burning stuff in my oven cooking

10. Do you have any pets?

I had a goldfish named vanilla ice cream who ominously died on New Years Eve and I think it was an omen 😂😂😂 the fish was super old so like good for her but her timing was dramatic. I would expect nothing less from a pet of mine. At the same time…I wish it had happened 24 hrs earlier or later.

11. What sports do you play/have played?

I was in marching band?! Does that count?!

12. How tall are you?

Tall enough that I have to get stuff for my mom on the top shelf and short enough that I feel compelled to wear heels to work most days

13. What was your favorite subject in school?

History and English!

14. Dream job?

I’ve said this before but I just want to be Fran Leibowitz. It’s all I want. Truly. Get paid to be a writer who doesn’t write.

or dramaturgy.

But mostly Fran.

The no-man’s land, between Christmas Eve and Christmas morning...

The no-man’s land, between Christmas Eve and Christmas morning…

True that!! … “There are a few hours each year that belong to no day. The no-man’s land, between Christmas Eve and Christmas morning … ” — Maddie Mortimer, Maps of Our Spectacular Bodies (Picador; March 31, 2022).

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