#lxc: these bitches gay
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Gonna be honest, I just saw a SJ Stan bitching about JC being a horrible person and I can’t help but wonder if they have them flipped? I love SJ, but he was definitely a horrible person and all the traits they’re describing are ones JC actually has. But they were also saying LWJ should cut LXC out of his life because he allowed genocide and complaining that YQY was a bad person so I think I can safely dismiss their opinion.
First, you're always allowed to ignore people who hate Jiang Cheng and feel, for whatever reason, that you need to know this. (Unless they're your friend, in which case you should be like me pawing at my friend Salem's chat window, saying please please please be niceys to Yue Qingyuan, he has a whole entire brain damage cave!! while Salem rolls his eyes.)
Second, I think a lot of people want their favorites to not be complicit in the various war crimes of mdzs. Wen Qing ruled a territory during the occupation; Wei Wuxian tortured dozens and killed hundreds, if not thousands. Lan Wangji didn't speak up for the Wen remnants, but he was perfectly capable of saying Wei Wuxian wasn't disrespectful of Jiang Cheng (lmao) in the same meeting. Lan Xichen, head of a weakened GusuLan, at best deferred to Nie Mingjue and Jin Guangshan about placing the Wen survivors in the camp; yet he at least seemed willing to be persuaded about Wen Ning and Wen Qing before the avalanche that was post-Sunshot Chifeng-zun descended and Jin Guangshan took back the advantage.
Other than Mu Qing who has never done anything wrong ever in his life, every character in MXTX novels is fairly gray. Which is why I propose that each character must battle all of the others to prove once and for all who is the morally superior gay representation. Here is the scoring rubric:
killed nameless cultivators: 1 point/dozen
hurt Jiang Cheng's feelings: 100 points
torture (regular): 1 point
torture (misogynistic): 20 points
bullied Jin Ling: 20 points
be Jin Zixun: 1,000 points
ruined Nie Huaisang's treasured nonsense: 10 points
killed your dad: nil
killed kitties: 50 points
kept Nie Mingjue's head around (regular): 10 points
kept Nie Mingjue's head around (romantic): minus infinity points
participate in or benefit from a society that reinforces harmful hierarchies, unlike our modern societies which are all so good: 1,000,000 points
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ep40 (1/2): paperman time!!
this was so funny bc wen ning doesn't even need to run away from lwj anymore. like they were all at yi city together. wwx just wants alone time with lwj. also I think he would some privacy. why was wen ning on his roof
this was funny too. is he trying to block the window with his body or pose sexily
nothing really important in their convo except wwx is like 'what's jc gonna go if he knows it's me?' um sir he can kill you. he can also reveal his identity but I think they know he won't. not that wwx isn't nervous around jc obvi - I think he's presenting bravado
this was so funny. jc bitch moments. and lxc doesn't even ANSWER he's like well. hm. um
meanwhile jgy has THIS very alarmed reaction to seeing mxy which honestly I think would make more sense if mxy actually did anything besides harass his wife bc he's acting like major secrets are going to get out if mxy is here
there she is!! this poor woman. gone too soon and for zero reason whatsoever
AW YEAH NHS TIME
THIS IS SO CLASSIC. part of his decade-long revenge scheme im sure
you go, nhs! commit to the bit!!
the way this is translated is funny. 'listen if my estranged brother comes to yell at me and attack me and such I need you to make like a football player and just stand in front of him so he doesn't get to me'
jin ling loves wwx!!! standing up to bullies is hard! jl does this to protect an adult man he claims to hate just bc this man is so pathetic looking and also because jl loves him
and he's not even yelling for fairy. THAT is love
and the little fight move that wwx teaches jl is so fun
ALSO THIS IS THE LOTUS POND WE SAW JZX BUILD FOR JYL...wow...I love having such a long time period for a show that you see things happen in real time like that. oof
BEST LINE OF THIS EPISODE. TERRIBLE ADVICE 0/10 I LOVE HIM
wwx thinking fondly of punching jin zixuan that one time: ah, memories
this looks gay to the viewers
paperman!!! I love paperman!!! and the cgi is so good! Im sure it helps that its a simple little thing
anyway HE IS DEFINITELY BLOWING A KISS!!!
hehehe
he is so delightful to watch!! slipping through doors, sliding down bannisters, hitching a ride and dangling his little legs - he has so much personality crammed into that tiny body. it's so fun to watch
back to jgy. 'what are you doing' to qin su. ooh creepy.
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words cannot describe how much i dislike the “jgy is pressured to marry qin su even though he’s already fucking lxc” thing
(and yet i’m going to use words and bitch about it regardless, ignore me)
like jesusssssss whatever reason you make up it just Doesn’t Work. putting aside the fact that in canon both jgy and qs had to fight for the permission to marry -- yknow, hinting that their parents weren’t thrilled when they heard about it -- no one actually gains anything by this marriage, politically. the qin sect is already subsidiary to the jin, qin cangye is loyal to jgs, and if they had plans of marrying his daughter to someone from the jin, don’t you... think... they would’ve talked about them much earlier...? jinlintai is fucking huge, we know of jin zixun, jin chan and his buddies, the jin sect definitely doesn’t suffer from a deficit of children/disciples.
even if you have rumors about how jgy might be a cutsleeve... i mean, he’s also a son of a whore and people already act as if he carried all possible illnesses at once, so being gay would be the least of his problems, if not a flat out good thing to some, considering as a cutsleeve he won’t reproduce!
he’s his father’s dirty work boy, not the president of the united states, he doesn’t need a wife, 2.5 kids, a labrador and a white fence to appear Respectable. like I GUESS if he had a family jgs could threaten him with their lives, but... what for? jgy already does everything jgs wants him to because he’s this thirsty for fatherly approval. if anything, starting a family could divert his attention from his job and make him act up, and what then?
like even if you made up a scenario where some new sect (that has something the jin sect would love to share) wants to arrange a political marriage, jgy is literally the last person jgs would consider letting marry, unless he wanted to insult the sect, because... again... son of a whore... would you offer to marry your political/business partner’s precious daughter to such a dirty person? so his grandchildren have whore blood in them? etc, etc
i just. ugh
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Lan Wangji makes extremely deadpan videos of his daily life with Wei Wuxian and their kids and nephews (and nieces if JC and JYL had more). This would include:
*shows a video of LWJ staring out the window for a solid thirty seconds, face entirely unchanged and somewhat disappointed, turns camera around to show Wei Wuxian and the kiddos putting mentos in soda bottles and trying to chuck them at each other, camera pans back to his face, still entirely devoid of emotion*
That one time Jin Ling got stuck up a tree and Wei Wuxian tried to get him down and also got stuck up there and now the other kids are looking for a ladder while LWJ just watches them from the patio, drinking tea. The kids finally give up and shamefully come to LWJ and ask him for help, he gets his husband and nephew down without a word.
The one where he buried 5yo A-Yuan in a pile of bunnies and got scolded by Lan Xichen for it because they might bite him if they get annoyed with him.
There is an entire compilation of rabbits that won’t leave him alone. Climb into his lap. Follow him with every step. Get excited when he comes outside. Hear a guqin and start looking for him. Just. He’s the rabbit whisperer. One of the black ones is just about always with him.
Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian interacting in any capacity is going to involve a lot of hitting each other and pushing each other over. Only-child kids think they hate each other, but people with siblings are all ‘no no, siblings are just Like That’. People think Yanli is all innocent till they realize she def only tells them to stop when she thinks they might actually get on each other’s nerves. She’s in the ‘boys will rough house and probably only have one collective braincell’ category.
People won’t stop asking him if he speaks so he vaguely makes mentions of having extremely low verbility. They ask if he does sign and he’s not really sure how (lol cause words hard) to explain to them that sign doesn’t really help when the issue is more of him not having much to say tbh. This is apparently the wrong thing to say because then people start being all ‘yeah I get you, I’m pretty dumb too, at least you’re pretty’ and he’s just sorta sitting there with this smacked fish look on his face while WWX can’t stop laughing next to him at the very idea of someone calling his husband slow. Wow. LWJ just sorta finally gets out that he has like two degrees and teaches giqun lessons and it’s amazing. The kids find out about it and can’t stop laughing for hours.
“Hey, why did you name your son ‘sorrow and longing’?” *commense 10 minute video of that time Wei Wuxian got arrested for something to do with a satanic ritual and that’s when LWJ ended up with custody of his adopted son for the next three years and he was in a really angsty mood tbh so it just kinda happened* not a single commenter expected that, even less so when he mentions that they weren’t even together at that point
Films what the viewers think is a prank at first, where he pours a dangerous amount of chili powder into a mug of hot chocolate (with a completely straight face) and then brings it to WWX who takes a drink and makes a dreamy little sigh and goes ‘you always know how to make it just like I want it’ and no one is sure how to react to this video. It’s like watching someone peel and eat a lemon.
You know that video of the girl with the deadpan voice saying she went downstairs to take a shower and there was something brown in the bottom of the tub but it turned out to be potatoes and she’s all ‘not a problem I was expecting, but a problem I can handle’? Okay so that’s how he talks in every video. WWX hands him a baby and he talks to them exactly like that. People ask if he’s good with kids and WWX is all ‘yeah, he’s not just a rabbit whisperer, he’s a baby whisperer too, he’s super great with kids’ *shows LWJ talking to a baby in That Voice while the baby looks at him in utter adoration*
“What’s it like growing up gay? Do you ever get shit for it?” LWJ.exe has stopped working, he has only met one straight couple the same age as him and they’re his sister in law. His brother has three boyfriends, one of which is his brother-in-law. He doesn’t know what a het-er-o-sexual is and he doesn’t want to. Pretty sure his uncle is acearo and hasn’t seen his parents in like 20 years.
LWJ: ‘I apologize for being so emotional in my last video.’ *viewers scrambled to find what video he meant because they ain’t ever seen that man emotional before but end up finding a video where Sizhui told him he loved him and called him papa and gave him a hug while WWX filmed, you can barely see LWJ’s left eye twitching and he pets Sizhui’s head for a moment* viewers are very confused on how this constitutes emotionalism.
Viewers ask to see his brother ‘you know, the one who apparently has three boyfriends’ and LWJ posts a video of LXC passed out on a couch with like three fully grown men all in various states of sliding off onto the floor while the teens play a game of ‘who can stack the most random objects on uncle’s bodies without them waking’ because apparently LWJ and WWX were gone for a weekend and the uncles were supposed to watch the kids (like, all ten of them probably, there’s probably a lot of kids) and it’s Sizhui filming the whole thing cause he’s the ‘good one’ and never does bad things. But he’s also like Auntie Yanli and is totally gonna egg them on from the sidelines.
WWX hands LWJ literally any food and LWJ will eat it all with a completely straight face but as soon as WWX is turned around LWJ is chugging a glass of milk with a look of death on his face. The kiddos straight up can’t stomach his cooking.
😭 someone asks why their hair is all so long and LWJ puts up a video of chatty adorable Sizhui braiding WWX’s hair while he tells him about his day at school. It’s. Too. Cute.
The never ending debate on if LWJ’s deadpan personality/speech is acting or not. No matter how much everyone assures them he’s really just Like That people just aren’t convinced.
Someone points out several times that in their house they have a room with a satanic symbol on the door. That’s just WWX’s home office it’s all good. This is treated as ‘lol WWX is so dramatic’ for like four whole weeks before LWJ posts a video of Sizhui standing outside the office looking nervous. ‘What’s wrong?’ He says. ‘Dad called me into his office.’ Sizhui replies. ‘WWX must be a very strict father,’ the viewers think. That’s not it. That’s not it at all tbh. That video got flagged on like four different platforms and kept getting removed for graphic images and half their viewers don’t. Want. To know. What happened. In that office. (WWX doesn’t even see what the big deal was, that goat was dead when he bought it shut up.)
The others do videos sometimes too lol. Videos include
Jin Ling’s compilation of ‘Mom, what’s for dinner’ and the answer is Always Lotus root and pork rib soup. Someone asks ‘lol she must make that often’ and JL is all ‘lol often, fairly sure she got same-food syndrome, it’s always soup’.
Lan Sizhui at like 17 years old: The one true secret I’ve never told my dads? My most shameful lie? Rabbits aren’t my favorite. My favorite is butterflies. *proceeds to cuddle a bun* I’m sorry Mister Bun, but you just aren’t nearly as pretty as butterflies.
Shaky video of someone sitting on the couch, pointed at NMJ: Brother, while you’re away on vacation with your boyfriends, I don’t plan on leaving this spot for even a minute. NMJ: Oh yeah? What’ll you do when you have to use the bathroom? NHS: Listen, I found a guy on Craig’s List who’s exact fetish is lazy young men who refuse to move and also diapers exist and he’ll be my slave for the week if I let him change me. NMJ: ...I’m taking you with me on vacation. NHS: Yay! NMJ: I’m also taking your phone away. NHS: -wait, no- NMJ: Too late.
Jin Ling: JiuJiu, I spilt soda on your Valentino white belt. Jiang Cheng: *incomprehensible sputtering* -soda on my Valentino white belt-!
Sizhui: *brings Jingyi a bowl of food* Here. Jingyi: Thank you! *takes a bite, face falls in terror, gives Sizhui a betrayed look* Sizhui: Dad’s worried I’m getting sick, he said this would clear my chest cold up. He didn’t consider what horrible things it would do to my bowels instead. Please eat it, he gets sad when I don’t finish what he makes. Jingyi: *glaring* Just dump it down the garbage disposal! Sizhui: *def has a fever if he didn’t think of that* Oh. Good idea.
LWJ: *swaying in place* WWX: This bitch drunk as hell. LWJ: I’m. Gonna comit. A crime. WWX: *crying a little* I love drunk hubby times. A full shot of vodka and he’s not gonna remember any of this. Hey kids, I’m taking Papa on a walk! Sizhui’s in charge!
Zizhen: *sitting quietly on the couch while LSZ, LJY and JL all argue behind him somewhere, covering his mouth with a slightly horrified look* Jingyi: I mean, that’s not fair at all! Who HASNT made out with their cousin at one point or another? Ling: ... Sizhui: You said you’d never bring that up again please shut up. Ling: ...!!!!!! Zizhen: Amazing.
That one time the kiddos hypnotized Jin Ling into thinking he was a kitten. The adults all thought it was really weird that he was finally going through the whole ‘pretending to be an animal’ phase at like ten, but then the kiddos fessed up to learning how to hypnotize and they aren’t sure how to fix it. WWX instigated a rule that no brainwashing is allowed outside his office from now on.
People ask how WWX and LWJ met and it’s told from the POV of Lan Qiren who progressively getting drunker as he tells the story of the terrible high school romance that he had to watch between bad boy WWX and his precious baby angel nephew that made him consider quitting and how no one believed them when they insisted they didn’t get together till after WWX got out of jail for the cow incident.
#the grandmaster of demonic cultivation#the untamed#mdzs#incorrect untamed quotes#incorrect mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#wangxian#jiang cheng#lan sizhui#juniors#lan jingyi#lan juniors#jin ling#nie mingjue#nie huaisang#nie brothers#ouyang zizhen#lan qiren
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WangXiantics: The (unofficial) Untamed Episode Guide
Sometimes, if i’m feeling down or whatever, i like to rewatch favorite episodes or scenes from a given show as a pick-me-up. In The Untamed, this means basically any wangxian scene.
For other shows, it’s no big deal because they have like, 25 episodes or less per season and each episode has a proper title. The Untamed, tho? FIFTY (50) episodes whose titles are literally just a number. I’m queer!! We’re notoriously bad with numbers!!!
So I thought to myself, no biggie, I’ll just look up an episode guide to find out which episode has that scene where they gaze longingly at each other in a busy street and buy a lantern together.
The episode guides I found? Don’t mention those scenes. They do this thing were they summarize the plot of each episode?? For some reason????
Guys, this cannot stand. I have decided I am Doing a Thing. I am taking it upon myself to create my very own wangxian episode guide. Because I need a quick reference to Important Wangxian Moments. (And also I need to justify watching the show for a third time in a row).
This here will be the Masterpost. Please be aware that my episode guide will consist mostly of me screaming about wangxian. it will not be spoiler-free. and it probably won’t make sense. And as of now, it is a WIP. But I’m having fun and that’s what matters lol.
THE GUIDE IS NOW COMPLETE!!! AND IT ONLY TOOK ME 3 MONTHS TO DO IT!!!!
(Thanks to @theuntamednarrator and @absolutelynogravitaswhatsoever who encouraged me to post my ramblings here, and a special thanks to @mylastbraincql whose brilliant mind came up with the title/tag WangXiantics)
On to the Guide!!
Episode 1: The One Where They Don’t Quite Cross Paths YET
Episode 2: The One with THE ICONIC REUNION
Episode 3: The One with the SWORD FIGHT OF ~LOVE~
Episode 4: The One with That Many Minutes of Wangxian Screen Time*
Episode 5: The One with Angry bb!LWJ
Episode 6: The One where LWJ is Drunk and Gets Married
Episode 7: The One where At Last LWJ Sees the Light
Episode 8: The One where NHS is a Total Cockblock*
Episode 9: The One where They ~FROLIC IN THE FOREST~
Episode 10: The One with ANOTHER Moonlit Rooftop Moment
Episode 11: The One where We Learn the Value of Patience (and Hate It)
Episode 12: The One where Everyone Goes to Evil Summer School and Has a Bad Time
Episode 13: The One where WWX’s Gaydar is Completely Nonexistent
Episode 14: The One where LWJ Sings to WWX, y’know, Like a Bro
Episodes 15-18: The Ones where We Gross Sob FOREVER
Episode 19: The One with the Return of the Gay Yearning Death Grip, Now with More Sword!*
Episode 20: The One where WangXiantics becomes W(angst)Xiantics*
Episode 21: The One where the Siblings Know Things
Episode 22: The One with ANOTHER Other Moonlit Rooftop Scene
Episode 23: The One where JYL Captains the Ship
Episode 24: The One where LWJ Starts to Question Everything (except his sexuality)*
Episode 25: The One where they Frolic in the Forest but like, Sad This Time
Episode 26: The One where the Rain is Actually the Fandom’s Endless Tears
Episode 27: The One where I Want to Punch Basically Every Sect Leader in the Face. Repeatedly. With a Chair.
Episode 28: The One where LXC Loses his Title as Greatest Wingman
Episode 29: The One where WWX is the Grandmaster of Self-Loathing and It Kills Me
Episode 30: The One where LWJ Wishes Jin Zixun Would STFU and Die Already
Episode 31: The One where Jin Zixun Dies but God at What Cost
Episode 32: The One where the Moonlit Rooftop BETRAYS Us
Episode 33: The One where WWX Needs to Stop Touching Swords of the Un-Sexy Kind
Episode 34: The One where Detective Wangxian is on the Case!
Episode 35: The One with the Moonlit Bridge Rebound (Moonlit Rooftop Who?)
Episode 36: The One where LWJ is Gay and Does Crime
Episode 37: The One where We Watch WWX Be a Dad
Episode 38: The One where We Unwillingly Take a Break From Wangxiantics
Episode 39: The One where Parallel Wangxian Makes Us Sob Like OYZZ*
Episode 40: The One with the Return of Paperman!WWX
Episode 41: The One where LWJ and Suibian are Loyal Bitches*
Episode 42: The One with the GREATEST ~LOVE~ CONFESSION OF ALL TIME
Episode 43: The One where WWX is Soft for Children and Bunnies
Episode 44: The One where Su She Gets Rekt
Episode 45: The One where the Juniors Stick It to the Old People
Episode 46: The One with All the Yunmeng Bros Angst
Episode 47: The One where JGY Gets Kinky with WWX and NO ONE Likes It
Episode 48: The One where JGY and SS Host a Pity Party and Everyone Wishes They Hadn't
Episode 49: The One with Too Much JGY and Not Enough Wangxian
Episode 50: The One with the Greatest Family Reunion(s) of All Time
NOW FOR SOME FUN EXTRA SPECIAL BONUS STATS**:
~Their Song~ was played: 54 times
Total Word Count for the Whole Guide: 116,362
Top 5 Episodes (based on note count as of 5/8/20):
Episode 47: The One where JGY Gets Kinky with WWX and NO ONE Likes It
Episode 6: The One where LWJ is Drunk and Gets Married
Episode 13: The One where WWX’s Gaydar is Completely Nonexistent
Episode 36: The One where LWJ is Gay and Does Crime
Episode 44: The One where Su She Gets Rekt
*these episodes were titled with the help of @theuntamednarrator
**I may be off by a number or two but you can’t hold it against me bc i’m Queer and that would be Homophobic of you
#WangXiantics#wangxian#the untamed#episode guide#watch this crazed queer person lose their mind over fictional queers in love
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Has anyone ever suggested ZYX as Jiaojiao?
may i suggest the ‘teenage girl’s self-saving system’ on ao3 instead?
bc zyx would absolutely not survive as jiaojiao unless given many years’ worth of buffer between start of canon. and then she would not.
zyx “haha i’ll just be a milkmaid farm girl for the rest of my life and work towards better karma”
no, she’d fucking book it. take the dowry, take the jewels, and go on the run. leak vital wen information. work at a little tea shop somewhere in the middle of china.
wait. fuck. depending on how much wen chao gets to order wen zhuliu around at whatever point this is. idk, would z!jiaojiao make it out alive?
maybe if she runs off and bring out her inner crybaby to .... idk nmj and/or lxc and ask for sanctuary? “i’ll be a servant girl forever” “i’ll be a shitty outer disciple for life”
if transmigrated in from birth and develops attachment to wang family and is sent to the wens as a way to gain favor/protect the family, that’s legit the original zhu family plotline except no one would keep her from being sent.
she and wen qing would be eyeing each other like ‘i think you’re... and i think you think i’m... but are you really... hmmm’ and z!jiaojiao would try to engage to make friends. somehow, she does (esp bc z!jiaojiao is actually considerate towards wen ning). potential wq/z!jj for a bit??? they’d get along due to tired older sister energy, at the very least (like what dbd!zyx unconsciously radiates lol)
z!jiaojiao pull out every bit of guile, fake softness, gossipy mean bitch from inside to survive. reluctantly, aim to sleep with wen chao so that he’d bring her along and she tries to mitigate his damage. somehow, succeeds in landing wen chao - probably by virtue of his need to get his dick wet rather than any seduction on her part.
when she gets sent to lotus pier to instigate its invasion, is more like a long-suffering secretary than an ‘uppity mistress’. mme yu still slaps the shit out of her, z!jj still has to call in wzl, and lotus pier falls with the yunmeng trio on the run.
THEN. aims to pull off the craziest plot - post-fall of lotus pier, assassinate the wen contingent while they celebrate. get the jiang parental units’ corpses out, and between wen qing, wen ning, and the small subset of wens loyal to them, z!jiaojiao uses her familiarity with wen chao’s mannerisms to forge letters to keep wen ruohan and wen xu from suspecting anything was amiss on the southern front until it was too late.
(no golden core nonsense, but no demonic cultivation. the war goes on longer. the fronts remained fractured, since there’s no incentive for the yunmeng trio to head east with their land not actually occupied)
the yunmeng trio and ... wen trio? i guess? work together to quietly reclaim the territory around them. switch out with more wens willing to turncoat. and with z!jj proving that she’s not all boob no brain as her looks and association had dictated, she’s able to steer wwx into thinking about making the yin tiger seal anyways.
lwj stomps in, trying to frantically find any hint of survival wrt to wwx, and finds... six schemers. wangxian wartime misunderstandings ensue :( and bonus lwj-vinegar bc of wwx’s proximity with wn
wwx and the jiangs come in late to the war but turn the tide. wen qing’s faction of wens all ‘join’ the jiang bc with chinese ham gaa caan (bulldoze the entire family line), there’s no surviving the war with the surname wen. plus side--this ingress of sect members makes yunmeng jiang look bulkier and makes it easier for jc to maneuver as a brand new sect leader.
jgs def tries for the seat of power post-war, but it is less of a snowball of tragedy and just... political shenanigans. with a bunch of gay pining from lwj, and other non-lethal intersect drama. anyways, that’s no longer z!jj’s problem, she’s finally learning how to use a sword and planting lotuses. lotii?
even tho jc’s the sect leader, wq+jyl+z!jj end up as big sister bosses. it’s great.
(until jgy catches sight of the mysterious healer of yunmeng jiang and one of the sect leader’s personal servant. he could... start something to elevate himself in his father’s eyes.)
(bad stuff starts happening again, someone will die, i guess.)
#don't let wwx's pov fool you#zyx has zero-game and couldn't seduce their way out of a soggy paper bag#jiaojiao is hard mode#zyx au's#mdzyx#Anonymous#inquiry
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Okay but rewatching CQL is kinda hilarious when you have read pages upon pages of all sorts of meta plus have now actually processed the characters.
Like the moment Jin Ling appears and I am just like oh this loveable brat, just like his father. Or when JC is introduced and during the first watch you just don't like his dynamic with jin ling at all but during re-watch it's like 'oh look their love language'. Or lwj vs jc showdown and you are just like oh this petty bitch but instead of jc you point at lwj. I completely burst out laughing at the tea stall scene.
Or the amount of gay panic (or rather i-have-a-crush-on-this-feral-human panic) lwj goes through since the first time he meets wwx. Or just anytime lxc is in the vicinity of lwj or wwx I am just like 'this fucking troll' (or with mxy it's look at this love but also horny at first sight smooth troll). Or looking at lwj and his dynamic with lqr and being like 'oh this spoiled baby'!
Like just so many disaster/sad/angry/uncomfortable scenes (the initial ones at least) become so funny.
Also I laughed out loud when I saw yaoyang (ouyang and yao) in the first scene (ep 1) and that is some irreversible damage this fandom has done to me!
#cql#mdzs#the untamed#jiang cheng#wei wuixan#lan wangji#lan xichen#yaoyang#jin ling#lan quiren#set your posts free
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I can never decide if in modern aus the twin jades would be more relaxed because they weren't boy kings who only know repression and be gay, or if the lack of politics and being folk heroes would make them more prone to give into being catty bitches. Usually I just settle for both. Doesn't matter the au lwj should always be a petty king, and lxc is a prick hiding behind the face of a beauty queen.
#this isn't a criticism#i love them#lwj is the regina george of the untamed#ao3#fanfic#the untamed#cql#mdzs#lan wangji#lan xichen#twin jades
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ok i really wanna dive into this xicheng gymnast au ive got going on because its self-idulgent a really cool idea and ive been really interested in gymnastics recently (little angst bc im a weak bitch)
here are jiang cheng, nie huaisang, wei wuxian designs; ill add more as i draw
so jc, nhs, and wwx are popular rhythmic gymnasts and are a fan favourite in the fandom (?)
jc loves the ribbon but can also do club and rope; nhs does ball, ribbon and club; wwx can do all five (ribbon, ball, hoop, club, and rope) but he likes doing hoops the most
the three of them are pretty close since they have time to chitchat at the small louge area for resting; theyre also often called the powerpuff girls (ppg) since they wear red, green and purple (ik bubbles is blue but just roll w it)
jc has a no. 1 fan, like the biggest jc fan ever, and its a famous musician, lan xichen; literally his social media is filled with jc photos, fancams, and videos (sometimes he posts selfies with his jc merch that me probably made on his own)
ppg knows about lxc and teases jc about him so much
"did you see his face lighting up once it was jc's turn? he even brought a handmade light up banner for him omg"
jc is both flattered and annoyed (mostly because he gets teased a lot for it) but every gift lxc gives him (read: yeets on the floor) is treasured
its mostly bouquets of lotus flowers and teddy bears (there are times when he throws heavily a box safely wrapped in thick bubble wrap and tons and tons of tape and inside is just cute bracelets, necklaces and rings)
secret: jc wears it under his clothes and costume
secret secret: it sometimes comes out and lxc screams about it on twt
anyways, one day at a competition, ppg makes a bet that if jc gets a score higher than 18 in ribbons, then he has to go to lxc and ask him out
jc is torn bc he really wants a high score but is too shy to ask lxc out
spoiler: jc gets a 18.5 and now he has to approach lxc
jc's too shy to do it in person so he reaches out thru twt and dms him a
"hey uh i know ur like a big fan and i appreciate ur gifts but sometimes they look expensive anyways can i treat u to dinner to compensate"
LXC FREAKS OUT AND MESSAGES EVERYBODY HE KNOWS
lwj: do it, nmj: coward accept it, jgy: once in a lifetime opportunity, fucking do it pussy
spoiler #2: lxc accepts and jc takes him to a nice restaurant on a nice night out
its super awkward at first but once lxc takes over the conversation (mostly gushing about jc's techniques and routines) they find a nice flowing convo
"i had a great time" "me too!! im honoured to have had a dinner with my idol" "gay panic"
jc and lxc keep talking thru twt dms until they finally exchange numbers
"huan-ge" "CHENG CHENG 😭🥺💖"
they eventually go out again, and again, and again, until finally lxc gets brave and asks him out ON A DATE!!! as if the other hangouts arent dates 🙄
now theyre B O Y F R I E N D S ~ ✨
but secret bc jc is still new to everything and is lowkey overwhelmed by it, lxc agrees and does his best to make jc more comfortable and make him feel loved
they do fight over how jc's still being cold after months of dating and the fact that their relationship is still a secret doesnt help AT ALL
after numerous fights about it, lxc breaks and unloads all of HIS insecurity
"ive been feeling like ive forced you into this relationship, that my love and adoration for you made you feel as if you needed to compensate for that like how you did when we first went out. you've been cold and reject my affection and it hurts me even though i know you've said that you're just not used to it, but jiang cheng, we've been dating for 8 months now and i was so sure that by this point you'd be more comfortable. i love you a-cheng but i feel like you dont love me back."
something in the lines of that but you get me right?
ANYWAYS lxc keeps his distance from jc and jc does the same bc shit he feels bad that he made lxc think and feel that way
ppg notice that jc has been acting weird and asks him abt it and jc opens up to them about his relationship with lxc and ppg just go from 👁️👄👁️ to 😬☹️😞 because yikes
nhs and wwx obvi helps him brainstorm ideas as to how to apologize and show lxc that jc truly loves him the same way but theyre so busy with training and practicing for finals wHEN SUDDENLY NHS GOES
"what if... you dressed... in a blue and white costume... and wore the gifts he gave..."
BOOM jc gets the same costume from his routine tailored in white and blue and gets a pearlescent ribbon, shining blue to purple and wears pretty cloud earrings and replaces his zidian ring with a matching cloud ring
he goes to his finals in that costume AND ALL HIS FANS RIOT
"holy SHIT jc is wearing blue???" "what happened to the old costume??" "its the same one but in blue??" "hes so handsome tho"
lxc is obvi there at the finals because he is first and foremost, jc's no. 1 fan
nmj and lwj are with lxc bc lxc needs emotional support, and with the added bonus of jc's beautiful costume and accessories, he just LOSES it and cries on the spot bc hes a softie
jc performs his routine, gets an unbelievable high score and wins a gold medal (deserve) and on the podium, he asks for a mic and tells the whole fucking world his feelings for lxc
"ive been dating lan xichen, my no. 1 fan, for 8 months and its been the best 8 months of my entire life. its been a secret to everybody we both know because i was too scared to say something, too scared that everybody would reject it and judge us. but now that i realized it has put a strain on our relationship, it made me think. why should i worry about this? why should i be scared? why, when i have him by my side to support me and love me? im so sorry huan-ge that ive made you feel unloved and unwanted because i do love you. i love you so fucking much and it hurts me that you feel this way because of me. i hope that you're here somewhere in the audience to hear this, maybe not since we're not okay, but know that ill do better. ill let myself love you wholy and freely from now on if you'll let me."
cue jc crying and lxc also crying (harder) and probably the whole world crying with them even lwj lets out a tear or two
cue cue lxc fucking jumping out the barracade, fall on his ass, running towards the podium, tripping and landing on his face, standing up and limping, then tackling jc and almost making them fall over bc lxc is chaotic like that
cue cue cue lots of crying and hugging and screaming from the audience and probably the medical team rushing in because holy shit lxc did that and jc is still hitting him for almost dying??
social media fucking blows up with numerous photos of jc, videos of jc's speech, photos and videos of lxc and jc and loads of support messages for the two of them
it ends with lxc posting numerous selfies of him and jiang cheng being lovey dovey with a really cheesy caption that probably goes like
"HE HAS NO RIGHT TO MAKE MY KOKORO GO DOKI DOKI" or "i love one (1) man and its my boyfriend- oops i meant fiance"
the end sksks theres other couples in this like wangxian and nieyao but really minor so i didnt put them in BUT how is this story? is it worth writing out? or is it ok as is?
#love this au#so fucking much#it needs a bit work here and there#but thats the basic plot#kekfjykjc#mdzs#mo dao zu shi#the untamed#xicheng#lan xichen#jiang cheng#wei wuxian#lan wangji#nie huaisang#nie mingjue#jin guangyao
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agents of shield x mdzs au
This is the qUaLitY content y’all get from this blog. Also see me spamming friend about this AU. It’s junior-centered, with a dash of wangxian. This is basically a more in-depth version of what I gave my friend lol
After getting kicked out of SHIELD for questionable experiments involving Kree blood, Wei Wuxian was spying on Hydra (lead by Wen Ruohan) by infiltrating them as a scientist. However, being Wei Wuxian, he neglected to tell anyone since he got kicked out, so everyone thought he betrayed them.
So he’s at Hydra, befriending Wen Qing & Ning, and realizes that they’re good people.
But he got caught giving info to Director LXC, so Wei Wuxian makes his grand escape. He may have accidentally knocked over a terrigenesis crystal while trying to escape the Nightless City.
The terrigenesis crystal may have turned a little boy into an Inhuman (the first time anyone went through terrigenesis) and that little boy (Wen Yuan) may have accidentally burnt down the entire Nightless City.
At least, that’s how WWX explains it to Lan Wangji when he gives LWJ a child to take care of.
So, with Wen Yuan in SHIELD custody, Lan Wangji adopts him & renames him Lan Sizhui. He’s still a child (I don’t know why I keep referring to him as a little boy?? He’s like 12-ish??).
So Wei Wuxian goes off to re-join the remnants of HYDRA because they let him experiment in peace & he gets to keep an eye on them for SHIELD (even though he’s an ex-agent).
But before that, he vouches for WQ & WN to join SHIELD. And though many people there are suspicious, they do have a vacant spot for a doctor now that Dr. Wei is gone & WQ is quite good. They bring WN along too.
Meanwhile: Lan Jingyi is getting abused my his mother & his dad is working across the country so life is quite sucky for him.
Thankfully, his family has connections to one Lan Xichen (who learns about the abuse eventually) and Jingyi gets into SHIELD Academy. What he doesn’t know is that he comes from a line of people with Inhumans genes.
Which may or may not how been why Xichen was visiting.
Anyways, Sizhui & Jingyi meet at SHIELD Academy (both around 13-14?) and Lan Qiren is about to get more headaches.
Eventually, he (now 16) gets told why he was accepted on the first place & asked if he’d like to go through terrigenesis. He’s like “ok” and boom vocal mind control.
That’s actually inaccurate; he has the power to manipulate people with his voice. He has to learn how to control it though.
Wei Wuxian rejoins SHIELD! Lan Sizhui meets the person who saved him all those years ago. yay.
Little did they know, Wei Wuxian was expieriemnting with terrigenesis while he was gone but shhhhhhh-
Now onto Jin Ling’s backstory, cause his is a doozy.
Jiang Yanli got Inhuman genes from her mother. So did jc, but his powers & stuff come into play later. Wwx is their adopted bro, but due to circumstances that will be explained later, Wwx & jc are estranged.
Jyl and jzx raise jl for most of his younger childhood (until he’s about 7-8) when evil HYDRA people come in & kill jzx and kidnap jyl for Inhuman experimentation. Note, she has the genes but isn’t an Inhuman (yet).
Ling is very sad and Jiang Cheng swoops in to take him in. Jc actually worked at as a SHEILD agent back from before lxc was Director (coughxichengcough) but left when his sister was kidnapped so he could try to track her down & save her. Instead he gets his nephew.
Jc also takes over his parents’ buisness to get a source of income.
And jc goes through the woes of being a parent up until he also gets kidnapped by HYDRA. Jl also gets nabbed, but HYDRA separates them
Wwx may have been expierimenting but he tries to do it without hurting any of them, and he validates it because he prevented many people from getting cut open by explaining to the HYDRA heads that they’re most useful alive. It somehow works.
In fact, wwx is assigned to jl. The HYDRA people know wwx’s relation to jc & jyl, so they don’t tell wwx that they kidnapped jc & jyl or that they’re literally in the same facility.
Since wwx was assigned to jl, he basically helps him undergo terrigenesis and tries to determine his power.
Wwx also doesn’t know that jl is kinda his nephew. But he pities him, so he maybe helps jl escape, but in a way so that no one realizes it because he still has his cover to maintain.
(also, I forgot to mention: jyl’s kidnapping caused jc & wwx to become estranged).
So wwx may have had a very loud conversation near jl’s cell about some of the exits and also teaches jl the basics on his Inhuman ability. maybe the device he uses to control jl’s powers happened to malfunction in the middle of the night.
Ling, not knowing that wwx is helping him, uses his power (energy manipulation) to break out and makes a run for it.
He manages to escape (wwx had a very detailed convo about the building’s layout) and gets the hell out of there.
Jl’s smart enough to realize that since HYDRA knows where he lives, that he probably shouldn’t go back home.
He really wants to get his uncle back (and maybe his mom, but he’s not sure she’s still alive) but has like no idea how to use his power to do anything except bomb stuff. & that only works like half the time.
Jin Ling is about to kill a bitch but then he remembers that his uncle gave him an address to go to if anything ever happened (remember, jc is an ex-SHIELD agent so bad things happen quite a lot).
Meanwhile, despite his carefulness, wwx got caught and HYDRA is deciding whether or not he will die. Wwx, being the genius he is, takes all his stuff and gets the fuck outta there.
He decides to go visit his kinda-boyfriend (that he may or may not have been ignoring for like 13 years), lwj back at SHIELD. He also wants to see how the Wen siblings are doing.
So WWX goes back to SHIELD, only about an hour before Ling arrives. In jl’s defense, he had no idea that the entrance to a secret government organization was a quaint little music shop.
He just kinda... walks in, and everyone is freaking bc they have been breached but sees him and thinks “huh he kinda looks like jc” and then lxc thinks “oh no what happened this time”
Lxc introduces himself and jl (being the second best matchmaker here, second to only lxc) accidentally reveals that jc talked about him before.
Lxc is pleasantly surprised (gay) and asks jl to come with him into his office so that they can... chat.
On their way, they pass by the science lab. Wei Wuxian, who just came back to base, is happily walking along with Lan Sizhui, when all hell breaks loose.
Remember when I said that wwx was quite secretive about helping? And that jl is still upset bc he never got his uncle back and he can’t lose another family member, not to them?
So obviously jl does what anyone would if you saw the guy who forced you to undergo a life-changing event and was involved in the organization that kidnapped two of his family members and killed his dad: he attaccs.
If you also remember, I mentioned that jl has no fucking clue what he’s doing. All he knows is energy and boom boom.
And the mini-explosions only work in close range, from what he’s seen. So in his anger, he unlocks a new skill: energy shots.
Wei Wuxian took cover like the second he realized who was attempting to kill him and screaming at the others not to kill his assailant no matter how annoying he was.
Lan Wangji sadly wasn’t at base, but Sizhui was, and he can certainly hold his own against Ling, especially since Sizhui has had more time to train with his power.
Luckily, Jingyi swoops in & uses his voice to force jl to stop. They handcuff him and lxc drags him away into his office.
It’s safe to say that the science lab corridor is fried.
That’s basically how jl got introduced to SHIELD (he eventually joins and learns the truth about wwx, which makes all their past interactions quite awkward).
Now we have Zizhen, who comes into the story after the two Lans have become agents but before the whole Jin Ling fiasco occurs.
Sizhui & Jingyi were sent to see if Agent Ouyang Xingyun (@yoitsamy’s oc older sis of oyzz)‘a family knew where she was because she was on a undercover mission & didn’t check in with her contact last week. + she didn’t contact SHIELD so Director LXC was worried.
They look through the window and everything is a mess, so they kick down the door and try to find anyone. The whole place is torn apart, like people were fighting there.
In the upstairs bedroom, they find Ouyang Zizhen & four of his younger siblings huddled together in a corner, protected by a forcefield-like shield. Once they realize the Lans aren’t a threat, the go back to SHIELD HQ and put in a room there until they can figure out wtf was going on.
Apparently, Zizhen unlocked his powers w/o terrigenesis when they got attacked by someone who was looking for his sister and used it to protect his siblings. They hadn’t seen their big sister in weeks.
So the Lans have a new case to solve, SHIELD has two new Inhumans with off circumstances, and Lan Wangji is one Xichen away from killing Jin Ling.
#mo dao zu shi#mdzs#agents of shield#inhumans#lan sizhui#jin ling#ouyang zizhen#lan jingyi#aos au#mdzs hcs#lan wangji#wei wuxian#lan xichen#jiang yanli#jiang cheng#jin zixuan#wen siblings#wen qing#wen ning#marvel
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Shenanigans on the High Seas
from @trensu, the blog that brought you WangXiantics, and from that other blog that just, like, screams a lot in the tags, comes the AU that we all desperately need because, frankly, we’re a little dehydrated from crying over the Nie Bros (drumroll please)
PIRATE AU!!!
You know you want it
the Zidian is Jiang Cheng’s ship. he inherited it from his mother, who was known as the Violet Spider, Scourge of the Seven Seas
before she retired, Captain Yu had two first mates she’d trained since childhood, Wen Qing and Luo Qingyang
after Captain Yu retired they got married and are now Pirate Wives with an-all female crew aboard the Yiling Matriarch
her bright red sails are just as feared as the purple sails of Zidian or the sable sails of Ghost General
any man who sets foot on the Matriarch best be prepared to lose it, and the leg it’s attached to
rumour has it that every carpenter from beijing to budapest pays the Matriarch a commission, for keeping them in work making peg legs, but that’s just a rumour
JC captains the Zidian alongside his first mate Jiang Yanli
the rumours about her say that she’s the reason there’s so little murdering done by those aboard the Zidian
but the crew know she once ordered a captive tied to a chunk of bait and thrown overboard near Shark Reef Bay
granted, she let the crew fish him back out after the first bite, and Jin Zixun never said another word about Captain Wei Wuxian until he was ransomed
but still
speaking of WWX, he captains the Ghost General, though far from doing any actual captaining he’s usually to be found up in the crow’s nest with a bottle of rum and his flute
luckily, his trusted first mate Wen Ning is more than capable of handling the General
his very favourite targets are the Jin Company’s slave traders, and most of his crew are former captives who chose to stay with him after their rescue
regardless of how drunk he might be, no one can fight like Captain WWX, except perhaps JC and JYL, they did grow up together after all!
because WWX was a foundling fished from the wreckage of a vanquished merchant ship by the Violet Spider at age 6 and taken to the island hideaway where her lover, former merchant sailor turned stay-at-home-dad Jiang Fengmian, is raising their two children
because this is a HAPPY AU DANGIT, and we deserve ONE AU where these two don’t traumatise their children
Captain Yu and JFM are in fact very, very happy together and raise little WWX together alongside JYL and JC
Captain Yu and JFM met when she raided his ship
he offered himself and all the gold aboard in return for his crew’s lives
she thought him rather striking and went about setting him up on a little island she knew, very out of the way, where she can visit as often as she likes
JFM is DELIGHTED by this turn of events, which he loudly denies has anything to do with Captain Yu’s famed skill with a whip
while JFM was settling into his sugar baby life, his crew were returning back to their home port to report to JFM’s business partner, Lan Qiren, that the Violet Spider had killed JFM and taken all their gold
LQR, who had secretly been in love with his best friend and business partner for years, declares the Violet Spider his ARCH NEMESIS and sets about trying to destroy her
when his brother and sister-in-law die and leave his two nephews in his care he ropes them into the feud
the Lan Brothers both join the merchant navy and are the very most eligible bachelors polite society has to offer
they hate all pirates of course but especially the unholy trio of Zidian, Ghost General, and the Yiling Matriarch
this makes it VERY awkward when Lan Wangji finds himself THROWN OVERBOARD during a terrible storm, rescued by WWX, and dragged aboard the General
at first, recognising the uniform, WWX keeps LWJ under his eye by tying their wrists together with a length of rope for absolutely no other reason definitely not cause he’s cute, nope, no sir
later, LWJ manages to snatch a sword and an EPIC DUEL ENSUES *cue he’s a pirate (main theme) from PotC here*
they’re in the rigging, they're sliding down the sails, they’re fighting up and down the deck
LWJ is HORRIFIED to realise at one point that WWX is laughing
even worse, he, LWJ, is having fun??? wtf he’s never had fun in his life how dare
after the fight ends in a draw LWJ and WWX come to an Understanding and have many deep and meaningful conversations as they sail back towards port
both of them fall madly in love of course, but Pirate!WWX and Midshipman!LWJ are just as emotionally dense as the OG varieties so there’s A LOT of pining
Seriously- so. much. pining
they probably battle a sea monster at some point because that’d be sick
finally, they arrive back at the port and WWX asks (sadly, because pining) where he should leave him and LWJ says (sadly, because pining) that any of the Gusu Cloud piers is fine
and WWX laughs because how funny! my dad used to be a merchant sailor for the Gusu Cloud Company
which is how LWJ discovers that the ‘dad’ WWX has been telling stories about for literal WEEKS is actually his uncle's now not-so-long-lost-love!because they are both Disaster Drama Gays™ they decide they simply MUST do this Right. After all, it’s an Epic Reunion™!!!
LWJ convinces his uncle to come out sailing with him (even though LQR has not boarded a ship since JFM was lost, cue sweeping nostalgic music and distant stare into montage of the two of them in their Youth)
they row him blindfolded out to the island where JFM and Captain Yu live and the moment LQR sees JFM it’s jaws to the floor.
there are tears
JFM puts his hands on LQR’s shoulders and says ‘my old friend. you never said’
they hug
it’s adorable
don’t roll your eyes it’s adorable and you know it
Captain Yu and LQR still Do Not Get Along
their Epic Rivalry™ continues but now it’s just morphed into them trying to outdo each other in displays of affection
JFM’s little island house soon holds more jewels, gold, fine silk, and artwork than half the royal coffers of europe
family dinners are a DELIGHT
JC freaking runs whenever his father hosts Captain Yu and LQR for dinner
because 1) god dad, you're so embarrassing, and 2) HE DOES NOT WANT TO HEAR ANYTHING THEY GET UP TO BEHIND CLOSED DOORS THANKS
JYL thinks it's sweet and loves seeing her dad so happy
WWX does the pirate-time equivalent of a bro fistbump with JFM, like, NICE.
LWJ is very quiet but secretly loves it because he, as we all know, is That Bitch
‘A wedding! I love it! drinks all round!’ – WWX, probably, when the three finally announce they’re getting married
the wedding is WILD
there’s a whole lot of dancing, WWX is in the thick of it of course
LWJ wants so badly to ask him to dance but he still hasn’t told him how he feels (because emotionally dense disaster gays, remember?)
he finally has to go outside after WWX somehow convinces LQR to dance a jig with him which means WWX has officially asked everyone to dance except him
he goes and sits in the tidal rockpool, and his billowy white shirt is all wet and see through when WWX comes stumbling out of the party calling for him
WWX sees LWJ silhouetted by an endless horizon of ocean and stars and dies. he's quiet for the first time in his whole life
then LWJ turns and sees him so of course WWX has to go down and talk to him. he may be a pirate but he’s not a barbarian (unlike some certain nies we could name but won’t he’s definitely not still salty about the arm wrestle incident with Captain Nie’s ‘little brother’ eh he’s not much of a fighter but he’s great with languages yeah right his wrist still hurts sometimes bloody barbarians)
‘ah lan zhan lan zhan! you aren’t allowed to run away; we haven’t had a dance yet. even your uncle danced with me surely you can’t say no!’ *pouts*
lwj.exe has stopped working
but of course he can’t deny WWX anything so he makes to head back inside
now wwx.exe has stopped working
because to HELL if he’s sharing wet LWJ in a see though white shirt with the rest of those imbeciles
‘ah, um lan zhan lan zhan we can hear the music from here just fine can’t we? let’s just dance right here?’
and of course LWJ says yes
so the two of them just dance together on the edge of the ocean, waves lapping over their bare feet
until a particularly big one knocks them flat (listen, it’s a trope for a REASON dagnabbit)
WWX ends up sprawled over LWJ’s chest and he’s laughing and apologizing
but LWJ is just looking at him, wreathed in stars, eyelashes so wet and glittering, the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen
WWX notices how still he is and they just pause for a moment and stare at each other
doesn’t really matter who kisses who but they are kissing and it’s wet and salty, there is sand in their teeth, and they absolutely do not give a flying dutchman
they don’t even register the cheers and catcalling until JC runs up and dumps a bucket of water over their heads
because dammit he hasn’t spent months running out of every room his parents and LQR are in just to watch his big brother pop his cherry get it on on the beach
the rest of the gang are all watching from the porch
WN and LXC look very awkward and embarrassed
JYL looks fond and is shaking her head
JC meanwhile is having a heated argument with WQ because there were bets on you see
WQ ‘pouring a bucket of water over them is cheating I’m not paying you one penny JC’
JC ‘I’m a pirate why on earth would you expect me to play by the rules pay up Captain’
WWX and LWJ sneak away while they’re all arguing
The General has one new crew member when she next sails out
ANYWAY married gay pirates wangxian having adventures AU is what we’re saying
Also for your consideration other delightful Pirate!AU options include:
naval officer!lwj chasing down pirate!wwx (think norrington/sparrow if Disney weren’t COWARDS);
high society!lwj in love with blacksmith-turned-pirate!wwx (the Elizabeth Swann/Will Turner dynamic, except with Swann in the forge fight because we said so);
davy jones!lwj pining for calypso!wwx (carving your heart out = chest brand anyone? seriously, just imagine LWJ setting foot on dry land for the first time in 13, 16, 10 YEARS, playing the song he’s composed for his love and WWX IS NOT THERE!!!!)
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sorry in advance bc this is a mess but,,,,,,, a cql musical but its just songs i have downloaded
- we start off w mxy singing a sad mitski song. if not, go staright for chaos and give us penelope scott. just for kicks
- all of wwx's songs from the fall of lotus pier to his death are either from the crane wives' album safe ship harbored ("i give up my aight to see/ i give up my air to breathe"? "i will drown for you/ sink to black from blue/ and let the water win/ ... i am not afraid to give you everything"? "the noble are weary, the noble are weary/ this cradle still burns like a hole in my chest/ can anyone hear me, can anyone hear me/ the crooked are smiling, they know me the best/ if mercys abound i'll be safe i'll be sound/ and the devil wont know of the love i just couldnt let go/ i wont pretend my season wont end/ but i pray when its done when its through i'll have something left for you"? fucking brutal.) or lord huron
- mxy!wwx gets peace w devils by palmer st. clair, our hearts by firehorse, and little boy by barns courtney
- lwj only sings hozier's songs (like did we listen to shrike? the righteous anger of be? talk? from eden? every single one would give lqr a qi deviation)
- nhs and jgy sing marina's songs but nhs specifically gets scab&plaster and bubblegum bitch. that is all.
- ok thats not all bc nhs deserves fire by delta rae, the knife by maggie rogers, eureka moment by the big moon, when the curtain falls by gvf, and mile magnificent by molly ofgeography so im gonna give it those to him
- jc gets blame and i and love and you by the avett brothers but like,,,,,, as a soliloquy. also good kid from the pjo musical
- jc and wwx need thick as theives by shinedown in there somewhere but,,,,,, idk
- somebody needs to take "go to sleep" by the avett brothers
- wq gets some marika hackman bc,,,,,, gay
- one if the wen siblings gets dyin day by anais mitchell????
- sorry about this but lxc gets no light no light by florence+the machine
- lxc deserves some maggie rogers but idk what
- wen ning gets dust bowl dance by mumford&sons
- nmj and jgy have curses by the crane wives energy
#i wanted this to just be a shitpost about wwx having crane wives vibes and lwj having hozier vibes but then it got out of hand#ive been sitting on my bathroom counter thinking about this instead of brushing my teeth for like an hour#ty adhd youre so helpful <3#the untamed#cql#wei wuxian#also obv if this was serious youd use songs that are actually in chinese- this is just me shitposti g
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lxc is the token straight on thin ice?? not clickbait?? (then who’s the astrology bitch with everyone’s birth chart memorized?)
lxc was in2 astrology until he met a gay person that was in2 astrology and then he was like o im so sorry i didnt know it was gay culture ill stop
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Episode 5 - WangXian flirts & The fucking lake does fucking what?
Welcome to episode 5 commentary. I should very much be packing my flat but I am a fucking mess so... also, my cat seems intent on blocking my hands from writing.
LWJ don’t give a fuck about “strange noises” lol.
Hhhhggghhhhhhh is the Library scenes. Wangxian/WuJi is playing and I’m living (we are barely three minutes in, brace yourselves).
Anyone who can do Chinese calligraphy and with a brush has my forever admiration. Holy shit it looks like the most nerve wracking time, I write with a quill (fountain pen? Ink pen? Idk google translate says all three fit) and I already favour thin tips so my handwriting is crisp and legible, I can’t imagine writing with something that’s flexible with pressure.
Btw, my fan girl ass got herself a black bamboo quill as a graduation/Christmas present because I could not pass the opportunity of having my very own ChenQing in a manner of speaking. Sorry, back to the commentary.
Bitch don’t scream in the library.
He doesn’t hate you, he wants to kiss you stupid but *vaguely gestures at the fact that LWJ is a whole ass repressed gay teen mess* that.
(Again, what the fuck, calligraphy brushes lol nope)
“May I have the honour of getting a glimpse of you?” Hooooooly shit, so that was smoother than I expected.
IT’S BEST BOI WN!
I understand not bothering to translate things like “Shijie” because “senior martial sister” sounds hella weird. But doesn’t jie/Jiejie mean big sister? WN calling WQ sister or big sister is not weird.
Wait, not only is their love song playing, he’s also sneaking looks al LWJ so he can draw him accurately and grinning like a fool.
This charming idiot.
“Extremely boring” yeeeeees sassy LWJ come forth.
I honestly did not see him switch the books and I’ve replayed that bit time and time again.
“Don’t tell me you’ve never read a book like this.” WWX, darling gremlin, you’re talking about Lan “Whole Ass Repressed Gay Teen” WangJi.
But LWJ looks like he’s going to rip his throat out with his teeth.
WWX is so upset his gay porn got shredded (and this sounds dirtier than i meant it to)
Speaking of dirty, I know that that special book chapter exists, but I also know it’s uncomfortable for a bunch of people (myself included) so I won’t mention it past this point. But when I say anything about LWJ wanting to tackle WWX onto the nearest flat surface and do him, I mean in a very enthusiastically consensual way.
All this to say, LWJ’s crush just showed him a gay porn book and LWJ is a teenager, the self control this dude has is hilarious (bc I’m pretty sure if he’d kissed WWX right then and there Wi-Fi would be like: you mean we could’ve been doing this the whole time?).
I know that WWX is Oblivious(tm) but I swear Xiao Zhan plays him very much like a disaster (bi) trying to flirt with someone he actually has a crush on and he can’t? Because his usually suave bullshit doesn’t work? And he wants to see LWJ all riled up? I mean, he’s oblivious to LWJ’s monster crush on him, but I’m pretty sure he knows/suspects he’s into LWJ himself.
Ooooohhh LWJ is spitting mad. I love how Wang YiBo can make facial expressions without actually moving his face.
One Braincell Trio gossip sessions are the best. And I saw at least one translation of JC’s “nobody will save you” that was “nobody will bury your corpse” which I find fucking hilarious.
Ngl, I was mildly worried that they were going to try and use WWX as a red herring this early in the tv show when LXC asks LWJ who he’s seen creeping around the back of the mountain and he answers that he’s seen WWX, but LXC is co-captain of the ship (the other captain is Shijie, NHS is Second-in-Command) and he didn’t disappoint.
Uuuuughhhhhh it’s that bitch Su She. If you see random bouts of screaming just assume Su She is on screen and I don’t want to deal with his bs.
I can’t believe they changed Water Ghouls to Water Ghosts. Ghouls is cooler.
[We interrupt this broadcast to inform you that all that commentary above ^ is from a few days ago, so if the following looks like I’ve lost the thread in some places... I did lose it]
Yooooo JC’s stupid grin and his awkward attempts at talking to WQ give me life. I NEED FURTHER WQ&SHIJIE INTERACTIONS! THEY MUST BECOME FRIENDS.
What a cute gremlin my god.
You can see the moment LXC decides to be both the best wingman and a shit to his little brother.
WN IS HERE HI WN WE LOVE YOU.
LXC and all his baby chicks lol.
(I just checked on my cat, he’s drugged to the gills, so his inner eyelids are half closed and he’s doing the mlem, it’s hilarious)
WangXian: the fucking lake does fucking what?
I love WWX in detective mode.
THANK YOU. WWX’s alcohol thing is driving up the wall. One, bc he’s a damn kid in here, two bc he’s about to go night hunting, and three bc I’m pretty sure he’s 👌this close to forming a habit.
Ooohhh I hate this. I’m not scared of large bodies of water or anything, but the second you tell me something bigger than a trout may be roaming nearby I’m nope-ing right the fuck out.
He just saved your ass dude, don’t call him boring!
I swear LWJ almost had a Qi deviation when he told WWX to stay away from him, and the the gremlin just came suuuuuper close to him and bent down... to get his sword. You know, like a normal human being would do. Not.
Nooooope. Wait “aqua demon” that better not be Netflix’s translation of Waterborne Abyss.
Su She’s whole damage is bc he thinks LWJ looks down on him just for wanting to be like him. But LWJ clearly said get tf on your swords and fly, not “send your sword into the lake like a dumbass” so Su She is a moron.
I know in an adaptation WWX ends up in the water when trying to save Su She, are we sure that he didn’t kick him off the sword? Bc he is That Bitch.
WN NO.
THE COMB.
LOQUATS! (Btw are they any good, how do they taste?)
That is all for this episode. Thank you for reading!
#the untamed#cql#mdzs live action#mdzs#foxglove watches cql#foxglove watches the untamed#wangxian#wei wuxian#lan wangji#commentary#episode 5#foxglove has a cat#well foxglove has four but only one lives with her
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Since I’m just as obsessed with yarn craft (making it and dyeing it and using it) as I am with fandom, I just feel that y’all should know, in every modern AU I make where Lan Wangji has bunnies, they’re all angora and he raises them for not only being precious, but also he steals their wool. I’m making an AU where it’s a 3zun sorta fic (they all technically live separately with their houses next to each other in a triangle and knocked down their fences so they would have one massive garden) and LWJ was obsessed with bunnies when he was little but Lan Xichen really liked to knit so he was all ‘hey, let’s get angora rabbits’ and now Lan Qiren spins their fiber into yarn and when LWJ is like 9, Wei Wuxian shows up cause the Jiang’s bought the lakehouse across the street from them and so now they show up for holidays and school breaks and LWJ got an instant crush on him and crocheted him a beanie because WWX has never seen snow before (y’all this bitch out here while it’s snowing in shorts and a tee shirt LWJ is afraid he’s gonna DIE) and WWX falls in love instantly and it’s cute. Also WWX is trans. And Meng Yao raises Mo Xuanyu and later on Rusong (not his kid, Qin Su showed up saying she couldn’t handle getting rid of it but she couldn’t keep it either so MY was all ‘okay, I’ll take it’ and that’s that) and later on after WWX gives birth to A-Yuan (yeah I went there, deal with it, it was an accident tho, WWX is told he should get rid of it cause he’s too young for being pregnant but he’s all ‘nope, going through with it, then I’m getting those parts removed’ cause oooof) LXC suddenly gets surprise custody of their little cousin 6month old Lan Jingyi and he’s all ‘Ahh shit’ and so there’s like. So many toddlers running around the garden at all times. Jin Zixuan meets Jiang Yanli when he’s visiting one day and she’s over having tea with LXC while they watch the kids roll around like a bunch of idiots in the garden and it’s cute. They like each other. Jiang Cheng gets sick when he’s around sixteen and ends up getting an organ transplant (or maybe bone marrow? I was looking up transplant stuff but apparently if you get a donated kidney you’re only expected to live another 20 years at most before you need another transplant??? IF you can get another??? And liver would be much more rare I guess for a 16 year old. But if he had some sort of cancer or a disease involving bone marrow transplant as a treatment, it could work) and WWX is the one that gives the transplant. Why??? Because you need some angst in somewhere and tbh I kinda want 16 year olds JC and WWX to spend a while in the lakehouse doing homeschooling (with LWJ because LQR homeschools him cause of his fear of crowds and Jiang Fengmian was all ‘hey, can you just... teach them for a year?? They’re too tired to cause much trouble anyways and they can’t go to school and hanging out with LWJ night cheer them up) and Nie Huaisang takes that as permission to get homeschooled for a year (Nie Mingjue originally refused him because he was a little shit and wouldn’t stop bothering him when he didn’t have people to chat with all day but now he’ll have JC and WWX to chat with) and now LQR is stuck with them all for a year before JC and WWX go back to their hometown school. It’s long enough for LWJ and WWX to start a budding romance and for JC to realize that he thinks relationships are nasty and kissing is gross. Actually, they probably just stay there till they’re all graduated because why the heck not. Yanli is dating JZX and uses that as an excuse to visit him often (well, she’s also spoiling baby bro’s, but if she can get some flirting in while it’s happening, why not) and YZY and JFM tend to travel a lot so they don’t see an issue with them all staying there while they can. It’s been helpful to WWX cause there’s still some issues with bullying back in their hometown (and in a town where not everyone sees him as the ‘weird tomboy girl who thinks she’s a boy’ here, he gets into less fights) and this has been really helpful.
I wanted to make the worlds longest paragraph ever but tumblr said no. So anyways. JC is still in recovery for a while so it’s best at the Lakehouse instead of a city, and he can chill out on the porch in the warmer months and get cozy inside next to the fireplace with a million blankets and hot cocoa when it’s cold out. He’s. So. Cozy. Also JFM got him a service cat because WWX still can’t be near dogs. He wishes his bro could get a dog and feels bad about it, but tbh they keep forgetting that for all JC would like a dog, he’s basically a slut for any cute animal ever. He hangs out in the 3zun garden across the street a lot. NHS has like 15 birds and NMJ has like four cats (who are Not allowed in the atrium lol) and LWJ has all those rabbits and MY has like a million kids and those are basically wild animals so they count. (Seriously tho family members keep dropping kids off with 3zun and not coming back for them but??? It’s okay??? Cause they’re all ‘single’ -not living together- gay men and so none of them can get on an adoption list for shit anyways. Lol so many kiddos running around.) LQR is ready to murder WWX by the time the kiddos all graduate and he’s all ‘oh thank god now I don’t have to see him all the time’ but then WWX shows up at the house one day (him and LWJ have been dating for like a year and a half now) and he’s all ‘hey. I’m. Pregnant.’ And LQR is all ‘...ahhhh shit now I gotta deal with him even more’ and it’s. Amazing.
WWX pretty much moves in with them after that (WWX is all ‘we can get an apartment or something’ and 3zun is all ‘sure, okay’ but then always find a way to distract them cause they’re all ‘yeah, we like our space’ but then they’re all ‘if a single sibling/child of ours moves out we’ll get instant empty-nest syndrome and die’ and so they’re like. Really possessive over their kiddos. LQR is mostly there cause he’s the only adult that bothered to stay in LXC and LWJ’s lives when they were growing up and he’s great.
A year after A-Yuan is born, they get Lan Jingyi (he gets dropped off with LXC and just never picked up again wild) and then Jin Ling is born (and he gets dropped on Meng Yao a lot cause JZX has watched him with kids before and knows his brother genuinely loves babies) and then Qin Su (their half sibling) shows up one day all ‘hey, so, I’m pregnant and I’m not keeping it but it’s too late to get rid of, you like kids, you want one?’ And MY is all ‘...yes...’ and she stays with them till little Rusong is born and then heads off to live her life and MY gets the joy of taking care of an infant that he hasn’t gotten to experience since MXY was little which was like 13 years ago. Lol MXY isn’t all that enthused with his new baby bro but Baba says he’ll get less ugly when he’s older and stops looking like a potato. MXY does NOT agree that he once looked like a potato himself, how dare you, Baba!
They have a greenhouse and LXC is definitely growing pot in it.
#the grandmaster of demonic cultivation#the untamed#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#jiang cheng#wangxian#lan xichen#meng yao#nie mingjue#nie huaisang#3zun#wn and wq work in the hospital where the transplant happened
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Notes for I Have Always Loved The Door (pt 1)
I Have Always Loved The Door is the Wen Qing/Mianmian fic that all the wlw wanted but canon could not in any way make happen
This is part one of three, i’m sorry, but it is a 30k fic and i’ve never written anything this long. it’s like. six months of my life. annotations are gonna be longer, too.
What is this fic About? Uh. Lots. Mostly your relationship with your past and your future. making choices about what you carry with you into your life.
title is from Charly Bliss’ “Percolator” but like. the rest of the fic is in no way related to the song. Just the lyrics “I have always loved the door/but I will always love you more/I love metaphors” fit well for the wen qing mood
it is a fucking CRIME that wen qing died, and while i’m happy that luo qingyang got a happy ending with a soft man who just wants to make her happy, i think she deserves more. so i gave her a fancy job
i struggled with the outline for this so much until i realized that mianmian’s canon arc is partially about saying goodbye to your home/family because you no longer fit there + it’s not a great place anymore. and that’s so close 2 wen qing’s
so that drove a great part of the plot, and helped shape the youya/tuzai bit
ch 1
the first chapter is so funny and then nothing ever approaches it, i’m so sorry i got ur hopes up with the shennans TTnTT
i hate most of my writing after it’s up but i still like this chapter. wen qing being a doctor, nmj knowing his place, mianmian cursing loudly
“If you’ve been knuckles-deep in me, you can consider yourself a friend” i spend a lot of time in this fic trying to kill wen qing with Lesbianism, but honestly that’s just to make up for mianmian killing herself with lesbianism.
this was b4 i decided to care how i ended chapters haha
ch 2
i’m proud honestly of this fic alternating perspective, bc it forced me to learn to write more distinct voices.
“are you eating enough red meat?” “in the unclean realm?”
if i had 2 be in a Great Sect i would 100% want to be in the big sexy sword jock sect but unfortunately i’m a vegetarian
please think of me, an average-sized gay, with noodle arms, pushing away all the giant cooks and self-appointed nie aunties, who are trying to shove meat into my mouth
like you know how cats avoid the bath??? and their people are like “jesus fuck how is this 10 lb animal defeating me, i’m huge and strong and also have thumbs”??? that, except it’s an average sized sword gay fighting ten RIPPED aunties holding out beef
i do love the mianqing dynamic i created here and i’m not sure i kept it up but WHATEVER this is about annotations not about editing
mianmian: god FUCK the jin clan, the jin clan sux. wen qing: hmmmmmmmmmm
i think mianmian’s three older sisters might show up in a future work in the series
yeah, i fell in love with this au, there will be at least one epilogue.
ch 3
oh ho ho!!! it’s the beginning of Sword Content!!!
i watched so many videos of dao work vs jian work and then i ignored all of it!!!
by that i mean “there were only like two decent-quality videos on dao work that i found on youtube and i couldn’t study them hard enough to get what i wanted”
someone trying to correct your practice with boring, irrelevant suggestions??? it’s extremely likely, it’s happened to me multiple times, i straight up stopped practicing outside bc of it
please, men, i’m begging you. if you see me doing martial arts, rather than correcting me, ask “oh cool, what are you doing? ah, i do [this art]” and like. talk with me like i’m a human
not to be A Bitch but there is a 70% chance that i’ve actually studied more marital arts than you, on account of most ppl abandoning within a few years, and me practicing aikido for more than a fucking decade
god swinging a weapon full-speed at someone and stopping inches from their head??? a Fun Time
mianmian’s doing it as a big dick energy move
but in my school we just trusted each other to not fuck up.
im too gay to want any “”””homophobia””” or “””discovering you’re gay”””” or “””coming out”””” plots, i just wanna fast forward to the “”””i wanna kiss a girl””” bit
OH MAN i forgot wwx’s voice in wen qing’s head.
“even after his death the yiling patriarch managed to annoy her” i love wen qing
ch 4
IT’S THE MEMORIAL DINNER CHAPTER
memorial dinners are an important part of my household’s mourning process sorry
“she waved her hand to indicate the entirety of his use of demonic cultivation, fall from grace, and mass murder” mood wen qing. fucking mood.
oh my god im rereading this and seeing where i misspelled shit ugh. sorry lwj
so sometimes i’m vague about food and that’s because the only food i can think of when i’m writing is pork. i just. can’t remember what other foods u can eat. pork and also buns (but meat buns) soup? never heard of her. chicken? what is that??? piles of vegetables??? no one eats that obviously
please remember that im vegetarian and not only do i not eat pork, what i do eat is piles of vegetables
ah yes!!! time for mianmian to say prisons are for burning!!!!
our girls are both radical leftists sorry not sorry
acab, reproductive rights, prisons are for burning, capitalism is an inherently exploitative system, unionize your workplace
“tip your servers well” -- wen qing
wwx, shouting from beyond the grave: GET SOME, GIRLS!!!
wwx’s ghost: do y’all need anything? snacks? water? a condom? ah, love you kids, you keep me young
oh i forgot “for my local radical,” i should make sure to keep using ‘my radical’ as a cute endearment for the wives
ch 5
awwwww yeahhhhhhh trauma dreamsssss
writing jin guangyao is so fun!! and stressful!!!
fun because he never says anything straight, only through six layers of plausible deniability, and that’s just a fun exercise
fun also because i Love a Bitch.
stressful because he never says anything straight, only through six layers of plausible deniability.
the bit where he threatens to expose wen qing and mentions specifically that nmj does not like being lied to??? took me several times to perfect and im still not happy!!!
but i’m deeply proud of him sending the flame hairpiece, that’s some a+ innocent-looking menace right there, that’s the only thing on this planet i believe in anymore
i loved making up sect politics that weren’t specifically “let’s put up watchtowers” because i don’t think that happened while jgs was still alive
uh @ self why did i capitalize da-ge that’s so uncomfortable.
oh my god i just realized that jin guangyao has to watch his ex boyfriend/nie mingjue treat mianmian the way he used to be treated oh fuck
sorry i was not at all writing 3zun cinderella when i wrote this so i wasn’t in the habit of thinking about jgy being in pain and now???
get fukt jin guangyao
he 100% cries to lxc about this later
what’s that??? you say i keep writing overthinkers who are anxious and terrified of everything??? huh i’m not sure i agree and if even if you were right i’m not sure it means anything
“grumpy frog” mianmian mvp
god the flame hairpiece is one of like two whole good endings i did for this fic haha
next time: ch 6-10!!
#mdzs#cql#mo dao zu shi#the untamed#wen qing#behind the scenes#i have always loved the door#mianmian#god i just [clenches fist] love mianmian
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