Cw sex negativity, suicide mention

So I've been identifying as ace since I was 15, I'm 19. I'm sex repulsed. I know most aces have sex or are at least horny and kinky, but I've literally never even been horny. No libdo or sex drive whatsoever. My brain literally doesn't compute sex. Is that a thing or am I just broken? Am I allowed to call myelf ace or is that damaging to the rest of the community?

Like i'm a virgin and a total prude. Like it's awful but i can't even find sex jokes funny, instead I think they are gross! I'm so sorry to have to say this because I know it's wrong of me and I feel so guilt about it, but I can be a little sex negative. It's partially due to trauma, but not thekind yoy're thinking (I was raised by a non religious and liberal family, I'm not a puritan) so I don't think it's valid. I don't know what do, I feel like a freak. I've been wondering if I should try some sexual or kinky actvites, but 1. I'm such a freakish prude I wouldn't know where to start, 2. I have massive bottom dysphoria, 3. It would probably traumatize me more basically but i probbly deserve it lol. Sex is just not a part of who I am. There is so much to me, but sex just does not compute. I feel so out of place everywhere, especially in the lgbtq and ace communites. I want to be an ally to the rest of you so much but

What should I do? Should I go to a doctor and find out if there is a reason my body doesn't get horny? Am I allowed to be in the ac community? Should I just kms because I'm a terrible person for reasons such as sex negativity which is one reason everyone hates me and i have no friends?

Submitted July 11, 2023

As always, I encourage anyone in crisis, or who otherwise needs support, to reach out to those who are qualified.

The Trevor Project is a hotline, textline, and chatline available in the US and Canada. If you’re not in a country where it is available, Befrienders has hotlines for different countries. 

Cw: bottom dysphoria

I recently saw what an actual v looks like (I haven’t shaved down there since starting to grow hair four-five years ago because of dysphoria, and before then I wasn’t exactly aware of what it looked like before I was a child) and… oh no. My bottom dysphoria has been steadily growing over the past year as those parts have developed and I’ve started to recognise a v as being it’s own form of genitalia and not just a ‘not p’ (I’m nonbinary and having that would be absolutely terrible for me)

I don’t want this… this thing. Why do I have to suffer with this for the rest of my life. Why the fuck did I have to be born like this. It’s fucking disgusting to have these genitals and the idea that I’m never going to fix it… just, fuck

Submitted July 16, 2023

I want to try topping again, but it makes me feel dysphoric. I was gonna write a post about it, but I think that's it, I don't wanna think about it any more

I wouldn't say that I have Voice Dysphoria but I do have Voice Troubles due to it having dropped as a tween girl and subsequently pitching up for a decade and thinking everyone's throat hurt at the end of a long day, which means my natural inclination is to speak in a higher pitch than is natural. Customer Service Voice but for my whole life

BUT! I think getting back into vocals is helping w All Of It bc I feel so much more comfortable in that register and it's stronger and easier

Thank u metal and harsh vocals for my gender euphoria I feel so much more comfortable in and aware of my body 🙏

happy transexual thursday! i am now officially 1 month on t!

i considered doing a voice documentation of it changing over time but i decided against it. i dislike my voice so much that i think i would rather never hear it again. i considered that maybe id want to hear it when its deeper, but when i think about the things that i were dysphoric about several years ago and now have calmed down, i still really dont like thinking about them or looking at old pictures.

my old voice can forever be lost to time, and i think im ok with that xD

I did the same thing, and honestly, some things are just best left in the past, and that's okay. I felt a bit of pressure to document everything, but it's really not worth it if it makes you uneasy. Your voice will still change with or without you monitoring it, so you can just let the changes wash over you like a wave <3

After having 6 surgeries since Dec 2019, I am just so tired. I just want a working body that doesn't cause me pain and won't cost over 100k to get.

The Age Of Pleasure (Vonnie's review 💕)

My rating: 7.5/10 ♥️

What I loved:

The different music styles and genres, never sticking to a single style and, in Janelle's unique way, making it all a cohesive and enjoyable experience regardless

Janelle's versatility as a vocalist, adapting her style to many different genres and sounds

What I didn't love:

Way too sexy for my comfort at times. 😅😭

Favorite song:

Kappa (not a bug)

Omega (a trans man)

Omega has too much power, being a trans man... It's incredible.

trans rights baybeeeeeeeeeeee

It’s kinda funny because yes I’m a trans man, yes I have bottom dysphoria, no I don’t want a phalloplasty, yes I’ll use a packer, no I don’t have a problem with it, yes I’m confident in my identity

Nulloplasties for the win!

Submitted July 6, 2023

I wish I could just choose not to have genitals and have nothing like a barbie.

shoutout to men/masc ppl with higher pitched voices !!

Like sure yes I DO have a labral tear + weird pointy femur, but I was at the specialist today and my official diagnosis after further imaging is also weird fucked up misaligned pelvis so the cursebearing hips strike again 🤷

like thanks guys. not like it hurts me every time i hear a recording of my voiceeee

August 11 2023 My relationship to my body atm is strange. I’m both concerned that I’m too thin and that I’m not thin enough. I think it could be related to my ideal body shape: I’d love to be a pole. Meaning my thighs are no bigger than my hips and my hips or chest is no bigger than my waist. I’m just a line in the air. It doesn’t matter how thick that line is. Maybe that’s why I get strong gender envy from Jere. Yes, he has tummy, tits, and bit of hips but if you ask me, he is still somewhat pole shaped.

Getting correctly gendered only to have them apologize and "correct" themselves when I respond is so gut wrenching. The brief moment of euphoria ripped away before it can be enjoyed