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chelseachilly · 8 months

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THIS LOVE - chapter five | we found wonderland, you and i got lost in it

pairing: ben chilwell x reader

rating: T

word count: 2.9k

summary: you know you have to end your fake relationship with ben, you just have to find the right time. and get through one more big event as his girlfriend. ft. special guest appearance by mason!!! (and lots of angst)

A/N: once again i'm sorry for the delay in updating, i've had a busy couple of weeks! i also apologize in advance for this chapter...title is from wonderland by taylor

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The week following the Nike party, you once again find yourself in the difficult position of avoiding your best friend/fake boyfriend.

This time, though, it’s not because you’re confused about how you’re feeling about him. It’s because you’re now painfully aware of the fact that you’re in love with him, and it’s very hard to be around him and pretend you’re not.

It’s also much harder to pretend to be his girlfriend in public now, which is why you know you need to tell him this is over. You just don’t know how - or when.

You know for certain that you’re going to have to wait until his international break this week is over, as the last thing you want to do is mess with his head before he takes on Italy at Wembley on Sunday. When he texts you from the training camp that he’s likely to be on the starting lineup, you’re so happy for him that you almost forget how dire the situation is.

You’ve already agreed to attend the game and sit in the players lounge with his family, as well as attend the team dinner with him afterward. These are all things a girlfriend would do - although they’re also all things you’ve done many times before you were “dating” - but you’re dreading it.

It’s going to be incredibly painful sitting there cheering him on in his kit and holding his hand at dinner knowing all of this has an expiration date. That it isn’t real.

When Sunday rolls around, you reluctantly put on Ben’s jersey - a brand-new England one this time, which he had delivered to you this week - and prepare yourself for the task at hand. You just need to get through today. You’ll tell him tomorrow that this needs to end, and hopefully you will have done enough to repair his image by now that whatever statement his publicist writes about your “amicable breakup” will suffice. As much as it’s killing you to keep this going, you’re not sure you would have it in you to end it if Ben will suffer for it.

His mum and sister come to pick you up so you can go to Wembley together, and you force a smile as Sally chats excitedly about the match ahead and thanks you profusely for what you’re doing for Ben. This makes you feel even worse, as you can’t really explain to Ben’s mother that you might have to put his reputation on the line once again because you’ve gone and fallen in love with him.

Or perhaps that you’ve been in love with him the whole time without realizing it. And that you being in love with him is the reason you agreed to be his fake girlfriend so easily.

And maybe that it’s why it’s why it’s never worked out with any of your past boyfriends. You’d always assumed they were threatened by Ben because they weren’t used to boys and girls being so close or they were intimidated by him being a footballer, but maybe there was some merit to it - maybe it’s why it didn’t even cross your mind that pretending to date Ben might interfere with your love life.

But those are all thoughts you don’t have time to dwell on right now, as your Uber is pulling up to the stadium and you have to mentally prepare for an entire day and night with Ben and many of his closest friends and family.

You’re escorted by England staff to a bustling room full of people and given your VIP passes for the day. You weren’t sure if the players would be allowed to mingle with their guests before warmups, but it seems Southgate is going a bit easy on them as they’re already leading their group in the qualifiers and they’ve been training hard all week. This is nice for the boys, but not so great for you.

As soon as you walk into the lounge, Ben runs over to greet you, enveloping his mum and Alex in a quick hug before giving you a casual peck on the cheek that feels too casual, too reflexive. You barely even register it until he’s pulled back and is beaming at you.

“Thanks for coming,” he murmurs in a low, sincere voice that you know is only meant for you to hear. “I missed you this week.”

Your brain can’t seem to conjure a response, apparently overwhelmed by the slightest bit of attention from the man you’ve known just about your entire life, but luckily you’re interrupted.

You squeal slightly as you feel someone hug you from behind, but you relax as you turn to see it’s only Mason. Returning his bright smile, you throw your arms around him to hug him tightly.

“Mason, it’s been forever!” you exclaim as you pull back.

Mason has always been one of your favourites of Ben’s friends, and you’ve been quite close with him ever since Ben joined Chelsea. You think you’ve missed him almost as much as Ben has since his transfer to Manchester United.

“I know,” Mason sighs. “Been a crazy few months, but it’s nice to be back in London for a few days and see everyone.”

“Especially his best mate who he abandoned,” Ben jokes, making both you and Mason roll your eyes instinctively. “I’m gonna show Mum and Alex to the bar, you want anything, Y/N?”

“Um, no, I’m good, thanks,” you say a bit stiffly, fiddling with the seam of your shirt and avoiding eye contact.

Ben looks a bit confused but doesn’t press you further, probably because you’re surrounded by people, and nods once before walking away with Alex and Sally.

As soon as he’s gone, Mason looks at you with a raised eyebrow.

“What’s going on with you two?”

“Has Ben not told you about our…arrangement?” you ask quietly.

“No, he has,” Mason shakes his head. “I mean why are you being weird privately? Are you guys fighting or something?”

You let out a sigh - if Mason picked up on how awkward that interaction was then Ben definitely did too, and that’s the last thing you want.

“It’s nothing. I’m just…reconsidering the arrangement,” you admit. “It’s become a lot harder than I expected.”

“Too hard pretending to be in love with Ben? Fair enough,” Mason says with a slight chuckle, which quickly fades when he sees your serious expression.

“More like…too easy,” you murmur.

He’s the first person you’re confessing this to, as it’s still too terrifying for you to even fathom, let alone speak out loud. It does feel like a small weight off your chest, but that’s replaced by another wave of fear. You know Mason won’t tell anyone, but saying it makes it seem all the more real.

“Seriously?” Mason asks with wide eyes.

“Please don’t say anything to him.”

“I won’t, but…holy shit, Y/N. You’re in love with Ben. I mean, I always thought there was something, but-“

“Keep your voice down,” you scold him quietly, before his words fully grip you. “Wait, you knew?”

“Well, you guys have always been so close.”

“He’s also close with you and Tom and Madders and-“

“It’s not the same, and you know it,” Mason says gently yet firmly at the same time, placing a hand on your shoulder. “You should tell him.”

“I…I can’t,” you sigh. “He doesn’t feel the same way, and I can’t risk losing him completely.”

“But-“

He doesn’t get to finish his rebuttal before Ben returns to your side, passing you a glass.

“Got you a water just in case, you looked a bit pale,” he says softly with a gentle hand on your back, making your heart thump so hard in your chest that you’re worried it’s going to explode. “But say the word and I’ll swap it out for a G&T.”

Damn this boy and his thoughtful gestures and how well he knows you and how cute he looks in his training kit. It’s going to be a long day.

“Thanks,” you say with a small smile, ignoring the knowing looks Mason is sending your way.

The boys say goodbye shortly after to go prepare for the game, and you find Alex and Sally once more so you can make your way to your seats.

It’s a tense game, even if you weren’t already tense going into it. Both teams have a goal going into the second half, and possession has been a pretty even split so far. As the clock begins to run out, it looks like a draw is likely - until Ben volleys it into the net with less than five minutes to go and scores the winner.

Of course he looks insanely good doing it, too - you really hope Sally is distracted enough by celebrating Ben’s goal that she doesn’t see how you’re staring at her son like he’s the hottest person you’ve ever seen in your life, which he very well might be. You’re completely in awe of him as he celebrates the goal and, as soon as the whistle is blown, the win, with his teammates.

God forbid he just be your insanely attractive, smart, caring best friend, he also has to be a national hero today.

Everyone is caught up in the excitement of another win, solidifying England’s place in the Euros, as you make your way down to the tunnels to congratulate the boys.

When you see Ben, you don’t know what comes over you, but every single rational thought that existed in your brain a few hours ago flies out the window. You know you should be holding back, but instead you find yourself running straight toward him and flinging your arms around his neck.

Ben immediately catches you and pulls you close, and despite how sweaty he is and how many people are watching, you can’t seem to get close enough. You squeeze him tight as he lifts you off the ground for a moment.

“You were amazing,” you mumble into his shoulder.

When he pulls back, part of you expects to snap out of whatever spell he has you under, but it’s the exact opposite - you see his wide eyes and bright smile and it suddenly feels hard to stand.

Ben must notice your sudden lightheadedness, as his hands find your waist and keep you steady.

“You alright?” he asks you quietly, and you nod.

“Yeah, I’m just so proud of you,” you say, and it’s half of the truth. The other half is that you’re so in love with him you can hardly breathe. “That was so incredible.”

Ben smiles and squeezes your waist tighter, somehow both grounding you and making you feel like you’re floating at the same time.

“Thank you for being here,” he breathes.

You think you could stand here in his arms, staring into his bright blue eyes, for the rest of eternity, but you’re still in a room full of people, all of whom want Ben’s attention at the moment.

“I’ll be right back, okay?” Ben says softly as he’s being summoned for an interview, and you just nod and watch him go.

You continue to watch him with pride from afar as he answers questions about the match and his goal.

His gaze periodically drifts over to you, his smile growing each time your eyes meet.

You realize that although this may be the first time you’ve been able to identify what the feelings are, this isn’t the first time you’ve looked at him and felt like your heart was going to explode out of your chest.

You felt this way when he showed up at your dorm with all your favourite foods and spent the entire night helping you study for a chemistry exam. You felt it when he got his first England call-up and FaceTimed you before anyone else. You’ve felt it when you’re watching a film and he adds his own little commentary that would annoy you if it were anyone but him.

At your best and worst moments, through the years and across miles that separated you, it’s always been Ben.

As Sally and Alex leave to find the washroom, you see Mason approaching you with a knowing glint in his eye.

“Nice game,” you say to him a bit shyly, knowing that he’s caught you staring at his best mate like he hung the stars.

“Thanks,” Mason says with a soft look, throwing his arm around you. “You should tell him tonight, Y/N. The game is over and he has the next week off. It’s the perfect time.”

“I can’t,” you reiterate, “he doesn’t feel the same way.”

“How do you know?”

“Mase, the whole reason we’re doing this is because he has a reputation for being a fuckboy, remember?” you whisper to him. “He’s never seen me that way.”

“Y/N…”

You’re once again saved from Mason’s line of questioning when Ben begins to wave you over to where the players are all taking photos with their significant others in front of the England flag.

“Tell him,” Mason whispers to you once more as you begin to walk away, walking directly over to the man your brain is telling you to run away from.

Your heart rate is still struggling to return to normal from the hug earlier, and it doesn’t help things when Ben immediately pulls you into his side for the photo, fingers splayed across your hip.

“You two are adorable!” the girl taking the photo, someone from the media team, exclaims with a grin. “Would you like to do one with a kiss?”

You’re aware that it might look suspicious if you don’t kiss him when all the other couples have, so you’re already racking your brain for an excuse when you feel Ben looking at you.

He raises his eyebrows slightly, keeping his gaze locked to yours, and your stomach flips as you realize he’s asking for your consent.

The rest of the world seems to cease to exist for a moment. You can’t hear the camera flashes or see the dozens of people watching you. Everything disappears except Ben, and his lips that are dangerously close to kissing yours should you give him permission.

Once again, your feelings overtake your common sense, and your head is nodding before your brain can catch up.

Your eyes shut on reflex as Ben presses his lips to yours.

It’s the most amazing kiss of your life.

His lips are soft and warm and they mold so seamlessly against yours, like they were sculpted for this very purpose.

It only lasts a moment, but it’s long enough to know that you could spend the rest of eternity kissing him.

When you slowly open your eyes, the look on Ben’s face snaps you out of your idyllic trance and brings you crashing back down to reality.

His eyes are wide, and he looks a bit like he’s seen a ghost. While you were fantasizing about what could be, he appears uncomfortable. Ashamed, even.

Of course he is. You’ve just kissed the man you love, but he’s just kissed his platonic best friend as part of an elaborate PR scheme.

You’ve been living in a fairytale, getting swept up in a world where you are Ben’s girlfriend and his feelings for you are genuine, but it’s not real.

It never will be.

“I-I have to go,” you mutter quietly, shaking your head as you pull away from his embrace.

Your vision goes a bit blurry as you desperately look for an exit, brushing past Mason as he tries to ask if you’re okay and marching toward the door.

“Wait, Y/N!”

You can hear Ben’s voice as you walk quickly through the tunnels of Wembley, trying to find your way to the street so you can get an Uber and get out of there.

“Y/N, please stop and just talk to me for a minute!”

You begin to jog away in your desperation to avoid speaking to him right now, but you realize it’s not very realistic that you’re going to outrun a professional footballer, so you stop when you hear him getting closer.

“Ben, just let me go,” you sigh in exasperation.

He’s looking at you with wide eyes, and when he reaches out to touch your arm, you recoil from him.

“Not until you tell me what’s wrong,” Ben insists. “Are you upset that I kissed you? I thought you were saying you were okay with it, or else I never would have-“

“It’s fine, Ben, I just can’t do this anymore,” you say, trying to get the words out quickly so he doesn’t hear your voice tremble. “I’m sorry.”

“Can’t do what?” he questions. “You mean…this? The plan?”

You nod and watch Ben’s face fall in disappointment. Despite how your heart is aching right now, you still feel terrible for letting him down. All you ever wanted was to help him, and now your stupid feelings have gone and messed everything up.

“I’m sorry, Ben, I can’t,” you say, clenching your jaw to keep from crying. “I have to go.”

“Wait,” he says again, voice softer this time as he reaches out to grab your hand. “Please tell me what happened. Did I do something?”

It hurts you to see him so distraught over upsetting you when he doesn’t know the reason why, when his only crime is making you fall in love with him.

“Nothing happened,” you insist, once again pulling away from his touch even though it feels like cutting off a limb. “I just need some space and everything be fine, I promise.”

You turn to walk away from him with tears streaming down your face, knowing that for the first time in your life, you’ve made a promise to him you’re not sure you can keep.

a/n: let me know what you thought!!! your comments/asks make my day! tag list: @lunamelona @kathb59 @captainwans @amandaaa1025 @bbygrlllllll @cinderellawithashoe @batmansb1tch @ncentic @myheartgoesvroom @chillymountsjess @babygirlbenji @delicateearthquakellama @joyfullyswimmingface @xxenia14 @chaotic-taco-collector-blog @chilwellspulisic @maraudersmap123 (let me know if you would like to be added or if i missed you!)

#ben chilwell #ben chilwell x reader #ben chilwell x y/n #ben chilwell imagine #chelsea fc imagine #this love

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chelseachilly · 9 months

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THIS LOVE - chapter three | heaven can’t help me now

pairing: ben chilwell x reader

rating: T

word count: 3.6k

summary: ben invites you to italy for a couple days when chelsea has a friendly against juventus. naturally, you drop everything to go with him. oh, and there may only be one bed in your hotel room...

A/N: hope you guys enjoy this one...things are getting serious ;) please let me know your thoughts, comments make my day!! chapter title from wildest dreams

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How you end up flying to Italy on a Thursday when you should be working a double shift at the hospital and then falling asleep on your couch watching Netflix is honestly beyond you.

The week starts fairly normally. You catch up on some errands, work a shift or two, and hang out with Valerie to bring her up to speed on your slightly hectic life since you started accompanying Ben to every event.

It’s definitely started to be more than you bargained for, as Ben has more social engagements for brands in addition to his busy game schedule, but you take it as a sign that what you’re doing is working. He’s already landed a new, highly lucrative deal with a cologne company that were apparently looking for a footballer who fits the “committed, serious” type rather than the usual playboy - a market Ben now seems to have cornered thanks to your little charade.

While you’re out for lunch with Val on Wednesday, you get a call from Ben asking you to come with him to Italy for a couple days. You know Chelsea are playing Juventus in a friendly on Friday, but you weren’t planning on going. You have to work, for one thing, and you don’t usually go to his away games unless it’s an important one - certainly not a friendly.

Ben explains that a few of the other guys are bringing their significant others since it’s an excuse to go to a romantic city for a couple days, and that Shreya thinks it would be good exposure for you to take a trip together.

While he reiterates a bunch of times that you absolutely don’t have to come and it’s just an idea, you’re already mentally clearing your schedule and assuring him you’ll be there.

“Can you cover my shift tomorrow?” you ask Val as soon as you’ve hung up. “Ben asked me to go with him to the Juventus game.”

“Of course, I couldn’t deny you a romantic trip to Italy with your boyfriend,” Val teases, stealing one of your chips.

“Not romantic, and not my boyfriend,” you remind her. “I’m just helping out a friend.”

“You’ve been helping him a lot lately,” Val observes. “I know he’s your best friend, but remember to set boundaries if you need to, you know?”

The truth is, despite the crazy schedule and the lying and the sudden intrusions into your private life, you haven’t considered pulling out once.

“Right, yeah, I will,” you agree offhandedly, taking a big sip of your glass of wine. “Seriously, though, it’s not such a huge sacrifice on my part. There are worse things than going to Italy on a private jet.”

“That’s true,” Val chuckles. “Think any of Ben’s teammates want a fake girlfriend? Or a real one, for that matter? That Reece James is so fit-“

“And taken,” you cut her off with a laugh. “But I’ll keep an eye out for you.”

The next evening, Ben picks you up with a driver to go to the airport. You’re wearing a comfy Chelsea jumper he gave you a couple years ago with white joggers and blue Nikes that match your top.

“Look at you, super fan,” Ben says with a smile as he grabs your bags from you and loads them into the boot of the car.

“Yeah, well, I figure if I’m travelling with the team I should dress appropriately,” you grin. “You ready for tomorrow?”

Ben nods without saying anything as you both get into the backseat.

Aside from the obvious reasons you decided to come with him, there’s another lingering in the back of your mind. You want to be there to support Ben - not as a fake girlfriend, but as his best friend.

It’s by no means the most important game of his career, but it is the first time he’s playing against Juventus since he tore his ACL two years ago, and you know it has to be weighing on him a bit.

Seeing him get hurt like that was one of the worst moments of your life, so you can only imagine how awful it was for him.

He’s obviously long healed now and is probably the most fit he’s ever been, but you know him well enough to know that he’s thinking about it as you sit in comfortable silence on your way to the airport.

He finally breaks the silence when he gets a text and turns to you with a slightly apologetic look on his face.

“That was our club travel manager, apparently all the rooms at the hotel we’re staying at are booked,” he says. “She said she can get mine upgraded to two beds, though, are you okay to share? It just might look suspicious if you stay at a different hotel.”

“Yeah, sure,” you shrug. “Are you guys allowed to share a room with your significant others the night before a match, though?”

“Not usually, but I guess since it’s just a friendly they’re making an exception,” Ben explains. “We don’t play til tomorrow night, either, so that helps. I think most of the lads care more about taking their girls on a nice trip than whether we win, honestly.”

“Well, I’m not flying all the way to Italy to watch you lose,” you tease, poking his ribs. “So lights out by midnight, Benji.”

“Buzzkill,” Ben mutters with a smile, no longer seeming nearly as tense as he was a few minutes ago.

You board the Chelsea plane and say hello to everyone as you get on before settling in your seats, enjoying the luxury of the private jet.

It’s only a two-hour flight, which gives you just enough time to eat dinner, chat a bit with Reece and Mia, and watch a couple episodes of The Office with Ben on his iPad.

You land in Turin around 9 and get checked into the hotel shortly after 10, at which point you and Ben are both exhausted. You worked the morning shift today before Val took over for the second half, and you know Ben was in training at Cobham earlier to prepare for tomorrow’s game.

When you get your key card and make your way to your room, you’re more than ready to collapse on the bed and get a good night’s rest before tomorrow.

Which is exactly what you’re about to do when you realize the issue - there’s only one bed.

“Shit, I asked her for a double room,” Ben murmurs. “There must have been a mix-up. Let me go see what I can do.”

“Ben, it’s fine,” you sigh, dropping your bag on the floor. “You said the hotel is fully booked, so there’s nothing to be done anyways. I can sleep on the couch.”

There’s a small sofa on the other end of the room, certainly big enough for one person, though it doesn’t look particularly comfortable.

“No, you take the bed,” he insists, already walking over to put his stuff on the couch.

“You have a game tomorrow, I’m not letting you get a crappy sleep on the couch,” you reply. “Look, this is dumb, let’s just share the bed. It’s huge.”

It is a massive bed, and it looks so incredibly comfy and inviting right now that it would be a shame for either of you to have to sleep on the sofa.

Plus, you two have shared a bed many times before. Mostly when you were kids, but still. There’s really nothing weird about it.

Ben just nods in agreement and you go to prepare for bed in the washroom, changing into a silky pair of PJ shorts but leaving on the Chelsea sweatshirt. After you’ve brushed your teeth and finished a fairly brief version of your usual skincare routine, you finally climb into the bed.

“Ugh, this mattress is like a cloud,” you sigh with pleasure as you shift to feel the silky sheets against your legs. “I love posh hotels.”

“I know you do,” Ben laughs at your zen expression and the way you’re stretching out like a cat.

After he’s followed suit and prepared for bed as well, Ben emerges from the bathroom and joins you on the other side of the bed, the mattress dipping slightly with his weight.

Although you know how tired he is, you can practically hear the gears in Ben’s mind whirring as he stares up at the ceiling. Even in the dim lighting of the lamp on his side of the bed, you can tell what he’s thinking about.

“You okay?” you ask quietly, turning on your side to face him.

Ben hesitates for a moment before nodding. “Yeah, just thinking.”

“About the last time you played Juventus?”

He turns to look at you, surprise flashing on his face for a moment before he lets out a sigh.

“Yeah,” he admits. “How did you know?”

“I know you pretty well, Benji” you remind him, settling further into the warmth of the duvet as you continue to face him. “You wanna talk about it?”

He sighs again, avoiding eye contact with you.

“It’s dumb. Obviously nothing like that is gonna happen again, and it’s been two years now,” he says. “I’m just thinking about that moment, you know?”

You try not to think about that moment as much as possible - the sight of him writhing on the grass, clutching his knee, as fear gripped you and didn’t let go while he was helped off the pitch.

“That’s natural, Ben, it was traumatic for you,” you say softly, reaching out to quickly squeeze his arm. “It will be fine, though. You’re going to be fine.”

Ben nods with a small smile, finally meeting your gaze. His eyes soften as they stare into yours, and he bites his lip as he seems to be pondering something.

“I have a confession to make.”

His words make your heart jump for a moment, though you’re not sure why. You nod in encouragement, waiting to hear what he has to say next.

“It wasn’t exactly Shreya’s idea for you to come with me,” Ben admits quietly. “I mean, she agreed it would be good for PR once I suggested it, but I was the one that wanted you to come.”

“Oh,” you breathe, your heart continuing to beat erratically for some unknown reason. “Why?”

“I just…thought it would be easier with you here,” he confesses. “You make everything easier.”

You clench your jaw as you try to fight back the tears threatening to form in your eyes at his earnest display of emotion. You know that you’re the only person he is this vulnerable with, the only one who gets to see this side of him.

“I’m sorry I lied to you, though, I just didn’t want to seem…weak, I guess,” Ben says with a small yawn.

“You know showing emotion doesn’t make you weak, Ben,” you remind him. “It makes you stronger, actually.”

This was something you drilled into him in the aftermath of his injury, every time he would try to downplay the toll it was taking on him. His other friends and family may have believed him, but you always saw right through it.

“I know,” Ben smiles. “You taught me that. And therapy and a lot of self-reflection, but mostly you.”

Before you can reply, Ben’s eyes fall shut and you can tell he’s asleep just moments later, the day catching up with him.

You typically read or watch YouTube on your phone before bed, but tonight, you find yourself watching him. His peaceful expression and the warmth he radiates even with a good amount of space between you in the bed are oddly comforting.

You drift off into a blissful sleep within minutes.

When you wake up the next morning, you’re feeling more content than you have in a long time.

There’s something soft pressed against your cheek, and your entire body feels warm. It almost feels like you’re still in the middle of a good dream that you’re reluctant to wake up from.

It’s only as you begin to gain more consciousness that you realize it’s not a dream - you’re in Italy. With Ben. Who you are completely cuddling with right now.

You’re laying half on top of him, your cheek pressed to his chest and your arm around his waist. Your legs are tangled with his and his arms are loosely wrapped around you, holding you in place.

You must have gravitated closer to each other through the night without realizing it.

It’s a bit strange, as you’re not much of a cuddler and very used to sleeping alone, but you try not to read into it. Or how comfortable and right it feels.

You don’t really want to move, but you want to avoid any potential awkwardness if Ben wakes up and you’re still in this position, so you make an attempt to roll away.

As soon as you try to slip out of his grasp, though, his arms tighten around you and he mumbles something in his sleep that sounds a lot like your name.

Now pressed even closer to him, your nose buried in his neck, you can’t help but lay still for a moment and breathe in his scent - the scent that reminds you of late night drives in his dad’s car and movie nights with him and Oscar and warm hugs after he won a game. It’s the smell of familiarity and comfort.

It’s…Ben.

Something begins to bubble up in your stomach and you quickly pull away from him, moving to your own side of the bed. He groans slightly as he’s woken up by the sharp movement, his eyes fluttering open.

“What time is it?” he mumbles to you, and you glance over at the alarm clock.

“It’s half seven, you can sleep another half hour before training,” you tell him quietly.

“Mm, okay,” Ben murmurs back before closing his eyes again and drifting off.

No longer feeling tired, you slip out of bed to shower and get ready for the day ahead of you.

You’re already dressed and out on the town in search of some good coffee - which shouldn’t be hard in Italy - to give you some energy.

The crisp morning air also helps you shake off the feeling of unease at how much you enjoyed waking up in Ben’s arms.

By the time you return from your walk, Ben has already gone to training. He’s left a few pastries from the hotel breakfast for you, which you devour before texting Mia to make your plans for the game later.

Kick-off is at seven, so you and a bunch of the other WAGs make plans to go for an early dinner. Until then, you spend most of your day watching reality TV in the hotel room and enjoying the relaxing break from reality.

Before dinner, you get dressed in a simple outfit of jeans and a long-sleeve white t-shirt to wear underneath Ben’s kit. You’re not sure if it’s just that you have some time to kill or some other reason, but you find yourself putting more effort into your hair and makeup than usual, making sure it looks perfect before you leave.

The meal is nice - you have a huge bowl of pasta and a couple glasses of wine as you chat with the other girls. You’ve gotten pretty used to talking about Ben as if he’s your boyfriend at this point, fielding questions about your relationship with ease.

“You’re getting good at this,” Mia whispers to you when the others aren’t paying attention, and you feel yourself blushing. “I’m almost starting to believe it myself.”

There’s a nagging feeling in your chest at her words that doesn’t go away until you’re at the stadium and the game begins, giving you something to focus on.

Your heart rate does pick up a bit as you watch Ben play, even though you know there’s no merit to his superstitions about playing against Juventus again.

Thankfully, the game ends with no injuries and Chelsea up 3-0. Ben also plays exceptionally well, overwhelming you with pride as he gives a stellar defensive performance and makes some key tackles, as well as contributing to the offense with an assist.

The boys decide to celebrate the win by going to a club near the hotel. Almost two hours and a few drinks later, you find yourself sitting next to Ben and Conor, talking excitedly about the game today and how well they’ve been playing lately.

“I’ve seen you play more than anyone, and I’m telling you that last game against Newcastle was one of your best performances ever,” you say emphatically.

You’re a bit tipsy and close enough to Ben that your legs are touching, even closer when he rests his arm on the cushion behind you.

“You’re taking the piss,” Ben rolls his eyes with a smile, because deep down, he knows you’re right. He has been at his best lately, and you both know it.

“Let your girl compliment you, mate,” Conor says with a grin. “She’s right.”

“Exactly,” you say, “I’m always right.”

You’re expecting Ben to argue and make a cheeky comment about how you’re not always right with an embarrassing story to back it up, but instead, he just turns his head to look you in the eyes and smiles softly.

“Yeah, you are.”

Your heart is already starting to flutter when Ben reaches to take a sip of his drink and, after setting the glass back down, lets his hand settle on your thigh.

His palm is warm and heavy as it rests there, Ben continuing to talk with Conor as you try to determine whether this display of casual affection is part of the act or something more. You’re not entirely sure what you want the answer to be.

Eventually, Ben retreats to the bar to get you both another drink, leaving you chatting with Conor’s girlfriend Aine.

You don’t know her very well, but you find it easy enough to make small talk. She’s a lovely girl who’s been with Conor for years, and it’s always nice to make a new friend.

Your night is going pretty well, really. The guys won, you’re buzzed, you’re in a beautiful city in a foreign country. You’re enjoying the music and the conversation and spending time with Ben. Soon, you’ll probably both be tired enough to go back to your room and watch a film together.

And maybe you’ll end up sleeping in his arms again. Platonically, of course.

You’re trying not to get too excited at the thought when you suddenly realize Ben has been at the bar for a long time, and you glance over to see why.

Which is when your eyes land upon him engaged in conversation with a beautiful woman. She’s tall, blonde, gorgeous, and nothing like you. She’s exactly the type of girl Ben usually goes for.

You don’t know why, but you hadn’t considered the fact that he might be continuing to hook up with girls since you began your fake relationship. There’s no reason why he wouldn’t, now that you think about it, and the whole point of this thing is to get the press off his back without having to actually settle down.

You’ve seen him flirt with countless girls before and never experienced more than mild amusement, but that is definitely not how you feel right now.

You feel…shit.

You’re jealous.

“You alright, Y/N?” Aine asks you gently, reaching out to touch your hand. “You’ve just gone a bit pale.”

“Um, yeah, thanks,” you say quickly, forcing a smile. “It’s just a bit hot in here, I think.”

It’s definitely not, and Aine obviously knows that, but you don’t know each other well enough for her to press you further, thankfully.

Ben walks over a few minutes later and asks to speak with you privately, and you follow him to a quieter part of the club.

“So, that girl over there asked me to go back to her place, and I think I’m gonna go.”

You try to regulate the way your face falls at this information, but you’re obviously unsuccessful, as Ben immediately furrows his eyebrows.

“Oh, don’t worry, she’s not gonna leak anything,” Ben says quickly. “She doesn’t have any idea who I am, I didn’t even tell her my last name. It’s just a one-night thing.”

Right. Because him jeopardizing the fake relationship he asked you to take part in for his sake would be the logical thing for you to be upset about.

“Okay,” is all you can manage to say.

“Alright,” Ben smiles, squeezing your shoulder. “You’ll be alright getting back by yourself? I can ask Reece to-“

“It’s across the street, Ben, I’ll be fine,” you blurt out, coming off a bit harsher than you meant. When he frowns, you just sigh and plaster on a fake smile. “Sorry, just tired. I’ll probably head to bed soon.”

“You must be glad you don’t have to share with me again,” Ben jokes, not knowing how far from the truth that is.

“Yeah.”

“Thanks again for coming, Y/N,” he says sincerely. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

Ben leaves you with a peck to your forehead and an ache in your chest that doesn’t go away for the rest of the night.

Especially not when you close your eyes in a bed that suddenly feels too empty and too cold, and all you can picture is Ben’s arms wrapped around another girl.

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