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mpregandproud · 1 year

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Isaac (Part 2)

[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3] [Part 4] [Part 5] [Part 6] [Part 7] [Part 8] [Part 9]

How do you tell the person you've just started dating that you're expecting his child? It's the question that has been bothering me since I left the doctor's office. So many emotions in such a short time. I was hoping to be a father sometime in my life, but with Sandra. Since I started dating Isaac I discarded that option, I don't know why I did it. Prejudice, for sure, I come from a traditional family and two men being fathers together was not usual. I thought I would have to adopt or use a surrogate to be a dad in the future. And it turns out that I am finally one of those few men who can get pregnant and as luck would have it, I am expecting Isaac's child.

I needed to clear my head before I got home, so I didn't go back by bus, I decided to take a walk around town until I got to Isaac's apartment. I stopped at a shop window, my reflection in the glass already showed a belly that a few months ago was not there. My breakup with Sandra resulted in my anxiety about food. In just a couple of weeks I put on 50 pounds, I look like a cow. I've always been a glutton. It was the reason I started playing soccer, to stay in shape. Since I stopped playing soccer I had lost muscle, but I never put on as much weight as I did in those days. I lost some weight these last few weeks, but the belly was still there. It wasn't very big, because I'm a big man, but it definitely showed. As I looked at myself in the window I put my hands on my belly and rubbed it. I didn't look too bad, I even looked sexy. I better get used to it because this little one is only going to get bigger.

I arrived home two hours later, on the way I stopped to buy some donuts and eat them in the park in the sun. Was it the first craving? Isaac arrives home at 20:00 from the university where he is a literature professor. I prepared a special dinner, decorated the table for the occasion and dressed more elegant than usual.

When Isaac arrived he greeted me with a romantic kiss and a hug. When he saw the beautifully decorated table he asked me if we were celebrating something and I told him I had a surprise for him.

"Honey, as you know, today I had an appointment at the doctor's because of my belly, which was harder than usual. He said there's nothing wrong with me" I said and Isaac made a relieved face, he held my hands to reassure me. "The thing is... it turns out... I'm pregnant... I'm expecting your child", as I told him about it his face drew an expression of greater surprise. I haven't known Isaac for a long time and I wasn't able to interpret what he was thinking at that very moment.

There was an eternal silence. It would barely last a few seconds, but for me it was the longest moment of my life. Isaac grabbed me again with his big, warm hands. At that moment a sense of peace washed over me. "It's all right. I'm not going to lie to you if I tell you that I didn't expect to be a dad so young, but I think you're the father I always dreamed of for my children. I love you so much, Daniel," he said, looking into my eyes with emotion. After that, we kissed passionately.

"According to what he told me, I'm a one month pregnant, so if I do the math, it had to be the first time we slept together. It's one of the few times we've fucked without a condom, so it has to be from that day. I have no doubt," I said. Actually, this detail didn't matter anymore. I could see Isaac's excitement overflowing. His eyes were shining like never before. I don't think anyone had ever looked at me with as much love and admiration as he did at that moment.

The following weeks were complicated. I kept having morning sickness. My appetite grew and I regained the weight I had managed to lose since I started dating Isaac. My doubts about my body returned, but he made sure to remind me that he met me with a belly and that it was one of the parts of my body he liked the most. In fact, whenever he had the chance he would show it to me. I worked part-time as an IT guy and the rest of the day I spent walking, eating and resting until Isaac came home in the evening. Since we found out we were going to be parents our sexual activity has multiplied. From what they say, pregnant women enjoy sex more in the final months, but my body is already enjoying it from the beginning.

By the time I was two months pregnant, I weighed 230 pounds. For someone who for many years had been under 170 pounds, it was a major change. Most of my clothes no longer fit. Actually, they hadn't fit for months, although I didn't want to admit it. With the belly I gained after the separation, all my shirts were tight. And now my pants started to fit tight too. I had to buy a lot of new clothes in very large sizes so that they would fit me for a longer period of time. With the new clothes I could look like I wasn't pregnant, just a little chubbier than usual.

We decided not to tell our friends and family until I had a new ultrasound and they checked to make sure everything was perfect. We both wanted to share the news with our loved ones, especially with Isaac's friends, with whom we met almost every day. With them I felt very supported and understood from the first day. They made me feel like one of the group of friends, even before Isaac and I started dating. I had more in common with them than I did with my high school or college friends. I would even hang out with Bruce, Ken, Tom and Justin when Isaac was at home preparing for his classes. They had become my family.

The day of the ultrasound came. I left work and headed to the hospital. I was excited, eager to find out if everything was going well. The bus arrived, I entered the hospital and stood in the waiting room. Isaac was already arriving, he had taken his car from the university and in a few minutes he would be with me to go in for the ultrasound together.

As I waited, a woman with a huge belly sat next to me, she must be about to give birth. I looked up and saw it was Sandra, and she looked very sad. "Hello, Sandra, it's been a long time, how are you doing" I asked her. Deep down I would have preferred that meeting not to have taken place. She burst into tears without answering me.

When the crying passed, she looked at me and said, "I missed you Dan. Everything was easier with you. But look at me, about to give birth, abandoned by Peter and without a job. I've screwed it all up." I didn't think her life was so bad, why would Peter leave her? "I see you're doing better, you're glowing. Your cousin told me that after our breakup you had a hard time and put on a lot of weight, but now you had met someone and were very happy. I imagine that if you are in this clinic it will be because you are going to be a father. Congratulations," she told me in a reproachful tone.

"That's right, I'm going to be a dad in about seven months. There's still a long way to go, but I'm very excited," I told her. I knew those words didn't help to lighten the mood, but inside I was so happy since I knew I was pregnant that I didn't care about anything else. Just then Isaac came into the waiting room and kissed me before sitting down next to me. "Sandra, this is Isaac, my boyfriend. Isaac, this is Sandra, my ex-wife," I introduced them. Isaac offered his hand in greeting, but Sandra remained disgruntled.

"Your boyfriend? Are you gay? Did you use a surrogate to become parents?" Sandra asked. Isaac and I looked at each other and couldn't help but smile. "Yes, we're boyfriends. I met him at soccer few weeks after our divorce and, although it took us a while to become boyfriends, I think I fell in love with him from that day on," I said looking Isaac in the eye, even though I was responding to Sandra. "No, we didn't resort to a surrogate," Isaac said putting his hand on my belly and rubbing it, while looking at me and winking. That gesture didn't help with Sandra, but it came naturally to Isaac.

"Wait, what, you got pregnant?" said Sandra in surprise. "That's right, I happen to be unknowingly one of the few men in the world who can get pregnant. It wasn't a wanted thing, but we're so happy to be able to be dads," I told her. She gasped. It was normal, the man she had been married to for three years was standing in front of her with a boyfriend and announcing that he was expecting a child. At that moment we were called to the office. Isaac and I got up immediately and I said goodbye to Sandra. Isaac approached her and invited her to come to our house for dinner that night to continue getting to know each other and talk. Although I didn't really feel like being with Sandra, this kind of gesture is what made me fall in love with Isaac. She, to my surprise, gladly accepted the invitation. It was the first moment that day that I really saw her happy.

I lay down on the table and the doctor started the ultrasound. He said he could feel my belly a little bigger and firmer than last time, that was a good sign. Isaac didn't stop holding my hand at any time, he was so excited about this pregnancy. The doctor confirmed my suspicions, there was more than one baby. "Congratulations to both of you, you are expecting triplets." Three babies? I thought it would be two, three is a lot. My face was terrified. If expecting one child already scared me, and the thought of two terrified me, three made me panic. At that moment I thought about how much I was going to get fat, how it would change my life to have three babies to support. A feeling of responsibility and fear at the same time.

I looked at Isaac and he was ecstatic, the sparkle in his eyes was bigger than ever. "Oh, how wonderful my love, we are going to be daddies to three beautiful babies. I love you so much," he said and kissed me immediately. As it always happens to me, his kisses give me peace, all my doubts and fears disappeared instantly. This man has the ability to make me feel in seventh heaven. I was carrying three children of the man I love, what could be better than that.

To be continued...

#mpreg #mpreg story #pregnant man #pregnant guy #male pregnancy #prengant #man pregnant #gay #Isaac

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dethkomic · 1 year

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Writin’ Comics and Junk: Part 4 - Comic Compositionin’ (Part 2)

It sure looks like things have finally begun to pick up in our ongoing saga of heavy metal people and their friends! Things just get more interesting from here, so don't miss the next one!

The next Dethkomic update will be Tuesday, April 25th, 2023!

At this time, I'd like to give a special shout-out to all of you who have offered up your OCs to the Dethkomic overlords! I'm working on getting everyone's cameo appearance into the book for issue #7!

Right now, though, we have another comic book tutorial to share. It'll be a briefer one than usual, today, but covering a very important part of comic book composition, regardless!

The Art of Sequential Direction

Last week, we covered the general aspects of comic book layout, so I thought this week would be a good place to go over the more detailed bits that make up the panels in a page. Check it out below the cut!

Take a look at the two page layouts, below. Which is more interesting to your eye, at first glance?

The first page doesn't offer much in the way of variety, while the second page is chalk full of it -- it's not hard to understand why the second example looks and feels more exciting to read.

One of the things I tell creatives who are starting out in comics, who usually are coming from a background that's full of one-off pieces of art and very little sequential work, is that comic books -- especially action/adventure comic books, work best if you look at them through a director's eye.

This was one of the first things that was told to me as a young comic book artist and fan, and it's something of a never-ending journey. I love to watch movies and shows while my mind picks apart what the director was trying to convey in the way the camera was set, how the scene pans or stays still, what music was playing, how the dialogue carries -- all of it! Comics may not have as many moving parts as a movie, but you can probably guess that when it comes to conveying emotion through scene-setting, they are basically the same.

Just like the movies, comics have some ground rules that can help you make them more inviting and simultaneously exciting for your readers. Each one of these isn't terribly hard to do, but you'll be amazed at the impact they can have on your comic. I have three very, very simple ones that you can do, immediately:

Change the Size of Your Characters.

The above advice was handed to me in the same era, if not the same week, if not the same sentence as the advice about looking at your story as a director. One of the easiest things you can do and indeed, one of the most important things you can do -- before you even start to get a grasp on what types of scenes evoke what type of mood (we'll get to that...) --is to change how big or how small your characters appear, panel to panel. Basically -- pan the camera out, or in. Your readers' eyes will be far more likely to stay focused on what's being said and what's happening, if the scene changes just a little bit in this way.

Change the Camera Angle.

That horizon line that tells us where the end of the world is? The one that separates the ground from the sky? Move it up or down, chief. That's it. That's all there is to this one. Sure sets the scene differently, doesn't it? Notice how your characters, no matter what size you drew them, now look either really big (if your horizon line is low) or really small (if the line is up high) in the panel. That's what we wanna see -- make those guys change size!

Change the Panel's Tilt.

Okay, so now some of your characters are really big on the panel while others are small, and your horizon is way up, way down, or completely off the panel! Good work. Now pick one or two panels and turn them at a 45 degree angle. Or a 90 degree angle. Or if you're really bold and are making some kind of statement, turn them upside-down. Especially the panels where you're going to have trouble fitting the necessary dialogue balloons in -- this is a great trick to find yourself some more space.

Now that you have those down, you have a go-to for when you are just dragging it on finishing a page. Especially the pages that don't offer any particular points of interest and are just there to move the story to its next, more interesting part (shoeleather, as they're sometimes called). Even boring pages can be made way more interesting with the use of those three easy tricks.

Getting into the nitty-gritty, comic book professionals have a wide variety of shots that we typically fall back on when it comes to directing our stories. Each one can be used for different purposes, and to convey a different message. Another piece of advice given to me early on, was to treat my comic pages as if I had to tell the same story that was written out, but without the dialogue. If I could do that -- if I could look at what I'd drawn and get a good impression of what has happened without the characters saying a single word -- that was a good indication of a successful page.

So what are these types of shots and how do we use them? While this is by no means a complete list (Just google "types of comic book shots" or similar), I'll do my best to examine some of the more common ones, and give examples:

The Establishing Shot:

In the above example, we can see that Nathan is head of the table, in Charles' usual spot. Dethklok is on one side, Baen-Shee is on the other, and Toki isn't shown, but that's the joke -- he's so far away his speech balloon is coming from off-panel. Murderface is conspicuously absent. Establishing shots are important because they show the reader, at a glance, where everyone is and where they are in relation to one another and their environment. You should strive to have one establishing shot per-scene. Some people say per-page, and I think that's also good advice, if not a little extra work.

The Long Shot:

Oftentimes, long shots are establishing shots. The camera is far enough away from the subject that it gets most of/all of their whole body in the panel, as well as a good chunk of the environment. This gives both entities equal "weight" in the storytelling. What's that? Did I just call the background an entity? I sure did! Remember that.

The Medium Shot:

A pretty standard shot. Here's a guy. He's talking now. Maybe he's saying something important, and maybe he isn't. Whatever is happening, it's not doing it with great impact, and that's the point. Use these basic halfway-up-the-body angles when you're just establishing that something is being said or done, and by whom.

The Close Up:

Now it's getting interesting. We're zeroed in on one or two characters' faces to the point that we're forced to consider their facial expressions above all else. Must be some real tension going down, here.

The Extreme Long Shot:

Hey! Where'd my freaking house go??? Sometimes the environment is more important than the characters in it.

As I said, these are but a small sampling of all that's available to you as a comic book creator, when setting the scenes in your story. Next we meet, I'll go into some of my thought process when it comes to putting a page together and how I'm making decisions regarding the flow of the story, transitioning, layout, and more.

See you then!

#dethkomic does writing #tips on writing #comic advice

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astarionz · 2 months

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4 and 10 for ambrose 15 for immren + a and g (about both of them) for yewwww

How easy is it to earn their trust?

not easy at all. he's extremely paranoid, but he's very easy to talk to and work with despite that. like he doesn't Seem that he's always on edge, but he is. even more so after he becomes prince, because he has a different mindset about the camarilla and anarchs compared to the primogen, who REALLY don't like him, but appointed him as prince since he's naive and easy to control. then they send him across the country once he starts rebelling and being difficult.

the only one person he genuinely trusts is iver. that's why he offered the mutual blood bond lol. and then they divorce every other week. sorry this is unrelated . there's lucien also but they grew apart once ambrose became "more important."

What lie do they most frequently remember telling? Does it haunt them?

ambrose lies so much. even when he's telling the truth, he will usually keep the parts of it to himself if it means getting things to work in his favor. that sort of thing, if that makes sense ?

there are lies he's told that DO actually haunt him. idk if you remember, but that comic i drew of him and his brother, gabriel. like ambrose's sire wiped gabe's memory of him. ambrose meets him again years later and catches gabe's attention bc hes just Staring. so he has to act like he doesn't know him. that hurt him a lot. (brief ambrose lore, his parents died before he was turned, and gabe is his only remaining family member. who's basically dead to him now since andrew mindwiped him and forbids ambrose from speaking to him ever again.)

How do they speak? Is what they say usually thought of on the spot, or do they rehearse it in their mind first?

for immren's voice claim, i'm really drawn to jamie bower I think. [Im really sorry for the strangers thing clip, i don't see immren having a british accent 😭] but the way jamie speaks here is really really accurate to how i imagine immren's cadence though. also since his voice also isn't as deep as the voice i used in bg3 (i still love you Voice 3 ).

immren is soft spoken in a normal conversation, almost whispering half the time. every word he says, it's like he says it with purpose. he speaks so eloquently in a way that makes most people Want to listen to him. super easy for him to be manipulative. Looks at his in-game charisma stat.....

also he NEVER uses fillers during his sentences like "um" "uh" "er" etc etc, if that makes sense. though i guess that goes along with "every word he says is said with purpose." lol.. he rarely rehearses because he doesn't need to. he will stay silent if he absolutely needs to think over a response to something. (ex. Gortash asking him to come with him to steal the crown of karsus from mephistopheles, and immren just staring at him for a good twenty seconds before verbally replying.)

he does struggle to speak with emotion, and if he tries, it sounds forced and unnatural. the characters that get to know him on a more personal level can understand his genuine feelings since he's so Direct anyways.

SORRY . I REALLY RAMBLED i hope this makes sense

Why are you excited about this character?

ambrose has a lot of fun connections in his world i love thinking about and would like to eventually draw more interactions of! iver, lucien, his sire, the random human men he won't ghoul but plays with their lives anyways, his former coterie, his new coterie. he's also a fashion model so that gives me an excuse to dress him up like a barbie with fun clothes i find on pinterest. Also vtm in general makes me excited and happy, and not to be biased but i really like my dumbass ventrue lol

immren has a lot of interesting traits to him i like to talk about! not only does he experience the horrors of being a bhaalspawn, he also has that cosmic horror aspect about him too with his eldritch patron. im excited to draw more horror related things with him if im ever feeling brave enough, there are some painting ideas i do have in mind already. there are also things in bg3 i haven't really touched on yet with art so im excited to get around to those too with him

What trait of theirs bothers you the most?

ambrose is really difficult for me to characterize a lot of the time. he's a hypocrite. he's kind. he's twisted. he wants to protect humans yet plays with their lives like they're his toys. he's manipulative. he seeks out the best for his coterie members. im afraid he reads off as inconsistent but maybe that's his charm? 😭

immren is supposed to be a really evil and dark character but sometimes i feel like im woobifying on accident. . does this count . LMFAOO

#ask #oc: ambrose #oc: immren #THANKuu i wrote so many words oops #Guys if theres another spot i forgot to finish a sentence at . . well..

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wind-becomes-lightning · 2 years

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Good endings & new beginnings

I made the entire week. Happy happy! Anyway, I've been talking quite some with @kankuroplease about her Aori in my Ikigai Au as Irukas partner and because its been on my mind, i made this. whoop. Its also based losely on a sketch she made of iruka and Aori that I'm not sure I can share, but believe me its cute!

Umino Iruka x OC

Rated G

2640 words.

for @narutoocshipweek Day 7: Free day.

The life long friendship of Aori and Iruka ends in one night.

Iruka was slouching on the chair next to the dining table and watched Aori walk over to take herself a drink from his fridge. She knew where things in his apartment were exactly from the many times she had been over, and treated it like her own second home. He was feeling low lately and had been pretty much since his breakup a few months ago.

Aori was perceptive as ever, knowing Iruka’s many moods very well from a decade stretching friendship between them and so she had spontaneously decided to come over and cook him dinner. Katsura was out on a mission and needed no assistance and so she was essentially free. She had invited herself over and Iruka had known that fighting her on this would do him no good, so he just let her in and let her do her thing.

“Ruki, stop being gloomy”, she said and put her drink down on the table to sit right next to him. “You didn’t have to break up with her if that's so hard for you to take and Naru-chan is also back.”

He sighed. Right, it had been his choice to let Sora go, but it had been the right choice to make. After all Sora hadn’t loved him, never really, not in the way he wanted her to and so it was only right to cut her loose, especially since she would have been way too nice to cut herself loose. “You know I had to”, he said in reply and Aori shrugged her shoulders.

Seemingly assessing the situation she went right back into teasing mode. “Well, I guess she didn’t like your hideous haircut.” She swirled her finger around the top of her hand to mimic his ponytail. “Maybe you should have kept your hair more open.” Iruka only hissed in reply.

Aori wasn’t one to give up when the first try didn’t work so she poked a little more: “Maybe you just weren’t good enough of a kisser and that was the issue.”

Somehow this accusation riled him up, because his eyes shot up to look at her directly. “I’m excellent at it, thank you” he shot back and Aori shrugged: “I have a hard time imagining that.”

He sat forward in his chair and punched his fist to the table so hard that her drink almost fell from it: “I am a good kisser. Even your damned big mouth can’t take that away from me.” She laughed, “Oh yeah?”

The laugh quickly died in her throat as he jumped up and grabbed her by the sleeve. “Oh yeah”, Iruka said, anger and disappointment and frustration seeping out of him with every movement. He would never be able to make Aori stop teasing him endlessly for many things, but he was able to prove her wrong in this specific regard and he was going for it, before his brain could tell him how bad of an idea it was.

Iruka leaned forward and pressed his lips to hers so quickly that she yelped a little in surprise, crawling her fingers into his arm on her sleeve, but she did not push him away or draw back. Aori just sat there and let herself get kissed and he did kiss her, longer than one second or ten or twenty, longer than necessary. When he drew back he was so thoroughly out of breath as if they’d been making out for ten minutes, even though it was more like two.

The anger had vanished like a doused fire and he now stared the consequences of his actions right into the green eyes. Aori was red from cheeks to ears to neck. Her lips were slightly opened and parted as if she too could not believe what had just happened to her. Because for all her loud teasing and bossy attitude deep down she was a person that was easily embarrassed. Iruka had seen it when she was younger and was crushing on Might Gai. Aori stopped acting like a normal human being when she was around a person she had a crush on, when she was embarrassed. It was like her brain just shut off.

Iruka took a step back. “I- I’m sorry”, he said and now wished he could turn the time back to five minutes ago. Aori said nothing and just averted her eyes from him. “You - you riled me up and I- I was impulsive, I'm so sorry.” He didn’t know how to save the situation. It was already bad enough that he had effectively ruined their long friendship, a friendship that was important to him, but what was worse was that he had liked it. That he had not immediately drawn back because he had enjoyed it. That wasn’t good. That could lead to nothing good.

Aori put one pointer finger to her lips and breathed out in a way that it whistled a little. She was still red and seemingly contemplating something. “Well…”she said, every word out of her mouth was very slow and deliberate, “... I guess you are right, I can't argue that you are bad at it.”

“I- It does not matter, really…” he waved the answer away with his hand and tried to take another step away from her, but she was now the one who caught his hand before he could. She got up and stepped forward to him, so that she was standing right in front of him. For a moment he thought she was going to tease him, poke him, pull his cheek or ruffle his hair, any of that old friend stuff she normally did, but she just stood there looking up to him.

“Ruki”, she whispered and he hummed in reply, “Do you think I can do it again?”

“Eh, do what again?” Of course he had a certain idea what she meant but she couldn’t possibly mean what he thought she meant because that would mean….

Her hand found its way to his cheek and maybe she was after all thinking what he was thinking she was thinking, Iruka thought and felt like he was about to black out. “Sure,” he pressed out and still half believed that she was talking about something entirely different.

But then they kissed again, right there, standing flushed against each other. She kept the hand there on his cheek and he put his on her back. As if they had never done anything else they could follow each other through it, feel and taste the other with ease. Aori was sweet, half from the soda she must have had and half from her own scent and before his brain decided to completely give up control of his senses, Iruka at least could ask himself what this meant for either of them. Then his body switched to automatic.

Dinner slipped their minds completely as they spent the evening over and over kissing each other like they were some teenagers in love. Aori pulled the band in his hair out and stpped back to take in the way he looked with it down. He couldn’t take the stare, couldn’t take the admiration, so he pulled her back into him. Once they found the bedroom they stayed there just getting to know each other deeper than they even had before. They effectively buried their innocent childhood friendship and neither of them objected, even though they maybe should have.

The awkwardness came back in the morning when they both awoke next to each other. Iruka didn’t know what to say to Aori, who seemed thoroughly embarrassed and red faced. So they lay next to each other, one arm of his lazily placed under her head, and stared at the ceiling without talking. At least at first - then the stomach started grumbling.

“Do you want- “ he started, because what else could he do but invite her to stay for breakfast, but she cut him off with an embarrassed laugh: “Oh, funny, huh, that’s the second childhood best friend you’ve slept with… haha… soon you’ll have a bingo… haha.” Iruka furrowed a brow. She was back to teasing him apparently.

“Well,” she said, throwing her legs over the sides of the bed, “I have to go. I have- uh- training to do! So..! I guess I see you around, Ruki.” Aori put on her clothes quickly and he knew immediately she was lying about where she had to go. Not only because she didn’t have either of her weapons, but also because she put on her top the wrong way around and didn’t notice. She was just fleeing from the awkward situation and Iruka couldn't blame her.

Still, it hurt. It felt terrible actually. He’d had no luck dating at all in the past few years when one considered that Sora hadn’t loved him, all the dates after had ended in nothing but disappointment and now this! Maybe if his brain had functioned like a normal brain he could have stopped himself from ruining the strong bond they had still had yesterday, but as soon as he had carried Aori into this room from the kitchen, as soon as he had stepped over that threshold, he had effectively ruined that. Forever.

But Iruka had liked it all. By all accounts it should have been weird between them, it should have felt like kissing a sister or a close relative. That was not how it had been, however, at least not to him, which made the situation complicated. He wondered how she felt about it all and for a bit considered searching for her to talk it all out, but then he shied away and decided that he would just wait for her to come to him. If she didn’t ever come to him at all, well, that would just mean their friendship was over and they could never speak to each other again. Easy as that.

He spent the day in his apartment waiting for the door to ring, which was childish of course, but he couldn’t help it at all. In Iruka’s mind, it was easier for Aori to find him here if she wanted to come talk and he really hoped that she would. Saying that their friendship was effectively over was one thing, but actually realising what that meant was another. He didn't want to lose all of that. There was also this part of him that barely dared to believe that maybe something new had begun, even if something old had ended, but that was such a long shot, that he pushed it away as soon as it crossed his mind.

It was dark out already again when the door actually did ring. Iruka stood back at his kitchen counter and cut his fingers with his sharpest kitchen knife trying to cook dinner. No matter how many times he had done it, he seemed to still be clumsy when it came to cutting vegetables. His whole body tensed when he could hear the sound of the bell and like a machine he turned around and walked to the door, forgetting completely to put the knife down. He held it so hard that his knuckles turned white when he opened the door. He breathed in and out.

“Aori!” The sound escaped him more elated than he wanted to. Aori was in front of his door, now wearing her shirt the right way around. She was red in the face. “Ruki”, she replied and held her gaze somewhere at a point across his shoulder instead of his face.

Iruka stepped to the side to let her walk in and she did, getting rid of her shoes in one swift motion. For a moment he was reminded how she had walked in the day before and decided to cook for him and how much more fun and easy going both of them had been. This now was hard work, the air heavy with anticipation.

“That’s a really cool knife you have there”, she laughed weakly, “Haha- you are so good with those vegetables, I think, haha.” He blinked in confusion. What the hell was she saying? Sure, it had been pretty awkward between them when she had left, but now she was being completely nonsensical. Was she that embarrassed to have slept with him? He sat next to her on the kitchen table just like they had sat on the night before.

“Th-hanks”, he said and realised he was still holding the knife. He put it down between them as if it was a weapon either of them could grab to end the misery of their existence. He was thinking of what to say, but Aori was once again faster than him. She cleared her throat and said: “Iruka, I - I wanted to talk to you about something.”

It took him out more than he would have suspected that she used his full name out of a sudden. There was a heat on his cheeks that he couldn’t quite explain. He stammered a “Okey” as a reply and felt a little like he was the biggest idiot in the entire village. What was even happening to both of them?

“Yesterday…” she started and he interrupted immediately: “Oh, we don’t- we don’t have to - to talk about that, we can just, you know, not- not talk about it.” Idiot, idiot, Iruka thought to himself. Of course they needed to talk about it. Aori furrowed her brow and shook her head: “No, no I want to say something, Iruka, ok?” His full name again. He bit his lip.

Aori let out a deep breath: “So… I’ve thought about yesterday and tonight - a lot, actually, like all day really- and uh - “ She stopped for a moment to apparently compose herself. “If-if you wanted, I mean if - if you were up to-to that I mean, if you have nothing else to do….”

“Spit it,“ Iruka could feel his stomach turn on him with each new word coming out of her mouth. He didn’t dare speculate what her point was, too strong was his fear of being disappointed.

“Right, uh- All I’m saying is if you would- would be up to do it again- , eh, if you wanted to do it again… I wouldn’t mind.”

He blinked in disbelief: “Joke? Are you.. Joking?” He felt like he needed her to confirm it again. All of this seemed so very unbelievable.

“No! No. I- I mean that, Ruki, I … truth to be told, liked it a lot.. W-with you, you know?” she mumbled and looked like she almost bit her tongue. Suddenly he understood her comment about the knife earlier. In all his confusion Iruka had totally forgotten that Aori stopped acting like a normal human being when she had a crush on someone. When.. she had a crush… on someone…. His brain felt like it was frying itself at the revelation.

“Right, ok, right, yeah, ok..” Iruka tried to piece it all together. Before he knew what he was doing he grabbed the knife on the table and cut the hairband in his hair off to let the hair fall down over his shoulders.

Aori let out a baffled: “What was that for?”

“I don’t know, I’m fired up, I can’t tell you what’s going on. I’m so-”

She once again cut him off by pulling him by his shirt to her and when they kissed he suddenly felt like a weight that he had carried all his life had been lifted from off his shoulders.

Something was ending, but something was also beginning. Eventually Aori drew back and pulled a little on his loose hair: “Seriously though, Ruki, how tacky was cutting your hair loose. Is that how you think you can get a girl?” He grinned. Maybe not all things were ending.

#fanfiction things #oc: aori #au: ikigai #i just think they are cute your honour #narutoocshipweek2022 #naruto oc ship week 2022

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sabo-has-my-heart · 2 years

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Okay, you got me sobbing with the First Snow of the season alternative ending 😭

Is it still alright if I were to ask a continuation? After so 3 years passed, Name moved back to her old city as a successful Ceo of a well-known company. Sabo was confused when he got a vall from a unknown number but only to get shocked when it's Name that's calling and telling him to meet her a the airport, her saying that she'll visit her company's branch in her old city for a month or so. Excited, Sabo went to get her from the airport, stunned as he saw the newly reformed Name. After getting her settled down on Sabo's apartment (Ace and Luffy moved out months ago), the two went to reconnect with one another, telling stories that they experienced. Then Name asked Sabo if "they" are still dating but before the latter can answer her, a call from Sabo's company told him that he should head back for an emergency meeting. He apologized to Name for the sudden interruption but she just smiled at him, telling him to go. Smiling dorkily, Sabo went away, his love for Name rekindling. Being left alone, Name went to travel around her favorite places in the city, making sure to avoid her parents/relatives and 'them.' She then went to her favorite Cafe to relax but she saw Ace with Koala, but apparently they are arguing. She went to avoid them, witnessing her furious sister stomping away from the cafe, leaving the irritated Ace behind. And then, Name's and Ace's eyes met. The reader runs out, the male following after her, trying to get her attention.

Sorry for the long description hehe. So here's the thing. After knowing that Name went to another country without anyone knowing, Ace realized how much she means to him. You see, Name and Koala are very different from one another. Koala, apparently, have a superiority complex, always thinking (and secretly boasting) that she's always the better one out of the two. Ace came to learn how bossy and demanding Koala was, getting into arguments with her every other week. So after being in a relationship with her for almost 3 years, he decided to broke up with her, telling her that Name is WAY Better and Kinder than Koala. Shocked, the latter grew furious at him that he's blind and stupid to think that Name is better than her before stomping away out of the Cafe. And that's where the reader's and Ace's chase began.

Angst #3 and 1, if you may! Thank you! Again, I apologize for the very long request details, hehe. Peace ✌️

Warnings: build up to angst

Word Count: 1180

So I had to make this into a two part fic because it was just so… 🤌. I know you put the beginning part in the request, but I wanted to write it as well, so I did. This first part isn’t really angst, but it’s kind of a build up for the later angst.

It had been 3 years since you’d left, the first 2 had been hard for him, he missed you every day for the first year, his heart aching on top of Ace, Koala, Luffy, and your mother being pissed with him for helping you and not telling them. The second had seen their continued anger, but his yearning had died down some. By the third, he was able to go about his day without thinking about you for the most part and everyone but Ace had forgiven him completely. Well, sort of, Koala was still a little miffed, but she usually hid it well. Looking around his apartment, Sabo sighed. It was quiet without Luffy and Ace, both boys having moved out. Ace had moved out in his anger at Sabo and Luffy wanted to share a college dorm with his friends. Fuck, Luffy was in college right now. He’d been about to graduate high school when he last saw you. What would you think if you saw him now, 21, able to drink, looking more grown up than ever! Despite only being 3 years younger than him, it felt like just yesterday the boy was coming home from middle school and telling them about his new friend, Usopp. The sound of an incoming text message drew Sabo’s attention, the blond unlocking his phone and opening the messenger. ‘Sabo, Airport, Thursday, gate 15, 3 PM, -an old friend’. Sabo’s brow furrowed, an old friend? He had a lot of old friends who’d moved away over the years, who the hell was this one? Still, it was clearly meant for him, it literally had his name on it.

Looking around, Sabo tried searching for anyone who might look familiar. It wasn’t until he heard his name that he saw you, eyes widening as you ran up to him, throwing your arms around him in a tight hug. You looked so different yet so unchanged. You were wearing what looked like a very expensive outfit, your hair was done up in a nice, sophisticated style, and you were carrying what looked to be an expensive purse.

“Y-Y/n? What are you doing here?” Sabo asked, stunned.

“I’ve got uh… business here. But that’s not what matters, what matters is look at you! You look great!” you said, grinning at him.

“Me? I feel like I hardly changed, you’re the one who looks great, those clothes look expensive.” Sabo commented, making you grin.

“They are, but first, my luggage.” you said, grabbing his wrist and heading for the luggage area.

“Oh, so that’s it? First time in 3 years and your luggage is what matters?” Sabo teased, the both of you laughing.

“You know that’s not true. We can talk on the way there and on the way to my hotel.” you said, rolling your eyes.

“Now wait just a minute!” Sabo said, planting his feet, stopping the both of you, causing you to squeak as you came to sudden stop.

“There’s no way I’m letting you stay in a hotel. When you’re in town, you’re supposed to stay with friends and I’ve got an empty apartment and spare room all to myself. You’re staying with me.” Sabo demanded, making you sigh exasperatedly.

“You don’t need to do that, it’s a nice hotel.” you said reassuringly.

“Not happening, besides, it’ll save you money.” Sabo said, giving you a smile. You rolled your eyes at the boy.

“Trust me, I don’t need to worry about that. I’ve got cash to burn.” you said, making the boy cock an eyebrow.

“And how did you manage to get so much cash, huh?” he asked, not quite believing you. You gave him a somewhat devious smirk.

“I finally did it. I finally got what I wanted.” you said, making Sabo stare at you in surprise. You’d only ever wanted 2 things as long as he’d known you. One was Ace and clearly that wasn’t what you were talking about. Meaning that there could only be one other thing it was. You’d outdone Koala.

“How?” was all Sabo could manage as he stared at you, you smirk turning into an ear to ear grin.

“You ever hear of Laughtale industries?” you asked.

“Are you kidding? Who hasn’t? They’re one of the fastest growing companies in the last decade, they’re building a branch here in the city… wait, are you a senior member? Are you going to be overlooking this branch?” Sabo asked, simultaneously excited and floored. You threw your head back and laughed, confusing him.

“I suppose you could call me a senior member, the most senior member, in fact. I was working as part of it before it even existed.” you said, making Sabo’s jaw drop. Before it existed? It couldn’t be.

“But… that can’t be right. The CEO of Laughtale industries is a woman named Lusa and she’s rarely ever been seen at any of the new branches that have been popping up.” Sabo stated, only making you laugh harder.

“Lu-Sa, Luffy, Sabo…” you said. Sabo wasn’t sure he could take much more of this, you were the CEO of one of his favorite companies, your alias was made in honor of him and his brother, you’d…

“HOW!?” Sabo shouted, not caring about the people who turned to look at him.

“I told you, I’ll explain on the way. Now come on!” you said, once again pulling him to retrieve your luggage.

Entering the old apartment, you smiled, it was infinitely cleaner with just Sabo, that was for sure, and you could only guess that the fridge was more well stocked with only one person eating from it now.

“It looks cleaner. Now, I know we already did some catching up on the way here, but there’s still a lot that we haven’t talked about.” you said, flopping down on the couch, smiling.

“I suppose there are a few things. But I’ve asked plenty about you, you’ve got to have some questions for me.” Sabo said, sitting in one of the living room chairs.

“There are… a few.” you said, suddenly looking very serious. Sabo knew that look, he knew what you were talking about and it made the old pain in his heart start up again. He’d remembered why he’d fallen for you, what he loved about you. Talking about it only made the old rage return.

“Are they?”

“They-” a ringing pulling you both out of your thoughts, Sabo quickly answering his phone, arguing with someone for a moment before sighing and hanging up.

“Well, I may not own my own company, but the one I work for needs me. I don’t really want to go but will you be alright if…” Sabo trailed off, watching as you nodded, smiling at him.

“It’s all good, I understand, besides, I could use to look around the city, see some old sights, see what’s changed, no worries.” you said, giving him a comforting smile. Sabo nodded in understanding.

“Here’s a spare key in case you need it. Thanks for understanding. I’ll finish up as quickly as possible.” Sabo said before taking off.

#one piece sabo #one piece ace #portgas d. ace #fire fist ace #one piece #sabo the revolutionary #chief of staff sabo #angst #one piece koala

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thedancemostofall · 2 years

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Alina Pleskova on Linda Gregg's "Whole and Without Blessing"An Ordinary Plots Guest Post

Devin Kelly

Jan 31, 2021

Throughout this year, I will be featuring essays by poets I love and admire in response to poems of their choosing. They will appear at random, whenever such poets are moved. I’m honored to include the second installment this week, by the poet Alina Pleskova, writing about Linda Gregg’s poem “Whole and Without Blessing.”

Whole and Without Blessing

What is beautiful alters, has undertow. Otherwise I have no tactics to begin. Femininity is a sickness. I open my eyes out of this fever and see the meaning of my life clearly. A thing like a hill. I proclaim myself whole and without blessing, or need to be blessed. A fish of my own spirit. I belong to no one. I do not move. Am not required to move. I lie naked on a sheet and the indifferent sun warms me. I was bred for slaughter like the other animals. To suffer exactly at the center, where there are no clues except pleasure.

from Too Bright to See (Graywolf Press, 1982)

I first encountered Linda Gregg’s poetry on early-2000’s Livejournal, when blogs were having a moment. I didn’t think of myself as a poet then, but I read poetry voraciously &, at first, almost indiscriminately. On daily scrolls through Livejournal’s poetry “communities”, where strangers shared favorite poems spanning nearly every imaginable era & movement, I began mapping my affinities.

I was especially drawn to poems with candid & unlofty speakers—distinctly human voices reporting back from the world, which was a version of the world I lived in, to tell me what they knew (or thought they knew), experienced, felt, & witnessed. And so it was that Gregg’s poems drew me immediately.

Gregg, who died in 2019, had a way of seeing that was both sweeping & direct, like a searchlight with an unpredictable stopping pattern. Her poems are plainspoken & don’t look like much in the way of formal inventiveness, but their clarity can’t be mistaken for simplicity. There’s an acute attention to one’s interiority, but also connectivity to others & one’s surroundings. Countercurrents of intimacy & separateness. A magnitude without floridness. Acuity that doesn’t impart platitudes.

“[D]espite the respect with which her work is regarded, it has not received the critical attention that it deserves,” Reginald Sheperd wrote of Gregg. “This may be due to its indifference toward poetic fashion, its scorning of easy confessionalism or equally easy irony...”

Many of these qualities, which have to do with precision & compression, but also ineffability, make Gregg’s work difficult to discuss on a craft level. As Jack Gilbert, her former teacher & a great love of her life, put in an interview, Gregg had a “strange ability to think as the poem thinks— unmediated a lot of the time.”

As far as I can tell, taking her poems apart in that way won’t reveal much about their magic, anyway. I’m not too interested in examining the how, because I can only read Gregg’s poems as extensions of her particular modes of thought & feeling, which are what she used to make them. Which brings me to what her poems told me, & what I want to talk about with you.

Descriptors like necessary & life-changing are hackneyed & as subjective as it gets, but— & forgive me if this sounds precious— sometimes a poet’s work appears at the most opportune time that one can receive it. And in this way, a poet becomes part of one’s becoming.

I entered my twenties with an outsized interest in prioritizing sexual discovery, & newfound affirmation—thanks to riot grrrl, Eve Babitz, & other pitstops along that well-worn route of intemperate & wayward girls— that it was totally fine to go full throttle with it. My profligacy & its resultant explorations were well-suited to diaristic blog posts, but as my writing shifted towards poetry, I also felt a shift in my self-understanding.

The novelty & thrill of figuring out (& often, but not always, getting) what I wanted, of saying yes to everything, became interspersed with damages that I simply couldn’t prevent or foresee—or in less severe instances, deep boredom or disappointment. Sometimes I felt empowered & luminous. Other times, foolish & adrift. Not much of this was reflected in the “speaker” of my poems— a Samantha Jones-type caricature, minus the money but with seemingly unlimited resilience & agency.

I didn’t want to dilute or erase all the mishaps & traumas, nor emerge on the other side to say I’d learned moral lessons or strove to be another way because of what else I experienced. I was trying to figure out where I was, & how to write from there. Poets like Anne Sexton & Sylvia Plath were a default starting point for (now a tediously loaded descriptor) confessional poetry, but I couldn’t quite map my post-third wave unease onto their conditions. I read other poems, in which body parts were likened to some type of flower or fruit, & women’s sexuality was achingly elevated or otherwise still a site of repression. I didn’t yet know the poets who would become my teachers & friends. But fortuitously, there was Gregg, who knew what I was just starting to perceive, & led me right to it.

Many of Gregg’s poems track desire’s outcomes— not the initial hot bloodrushes, but when or after one gets what one ostensibly wants, or some version of it. What’s there? Pleasure with all its attendant complications.

Take “Kept Burning And Distant”, in which a lover is described this way: “[L]ike rain you are tender, / with the rain’s inept tenderness. / A passion so general I could be anywhere.”

And here’s how it ends: “…and the strong thing is not the sex / but waking up alone under trees after.”

Is it strange to say that it thrilled me to see sex written about in this way? States that seem antithetical to each other intersect here. Fulfillment & lack. Unindividuated gestures of intimacy. How the sex sometimes isn’t the notable part of the sex. How loneliness is sometimes & suddenly divine.

Gregg’s utterances seem, despite what the speaker of these poems well knows, unconcerned with circumspection. In another poem, “The Precision”, she writes of lust: “There is directness and equipoise in the fervor, / just as the greatest turmoil has precision. / Like the discretion a tornado has when it tears / down building after building, house by house. / It is enough, Kafka said, that the arrow fit / exactly into the wound that it makes.”

How crude it can be. How unsettling. How painful. Sometimes (& perhaps perplexingly) by choice. Or worse, not.

The "there" I wanted to write from is now the place from which I’m writing into what I once, consciously or not, omitted & blocked out (in poetry & in my mind) because it didn’t map neatly onto my conceptions of a liberated, pleasure activism-backing woman. Much of my manuscript-in-progress touches on how sex & desire can get troubled, marred, & complicated (by capitalism & its forces, “gender” & power dynamics, traumas, mistakes, torpor, so on—), & yet. And still.

As a quick & more blithe example, there’s a poem called “Composure” (an earlier version appeared in Cosmonauts Avenue), in which proximity to a certain lover is concurrently met with enjoyment, impassiveness, & dread— an energy, as woo-woo folks say, that I totally lifted from Gregg.

The manuscript’s epigraph comes from the last three lines of the Gregg poem above:

I was bred for slaughter, like the other animals. To suffer exactly at the center, where there are no clues except pleasure.

“What role does Plath play for women poets? Is she a model or a warning? I find myself asking similar questions about Gregg. What are we to make of a line like ‘Femininity is a sickness’?”, Nadia Herman wrote in a review of All of It Singing: New and Selected Poems. “…[A]s throughout Gregg’s work, what is powerful is also dangerous. But do we agree? Is the line a declaration of the strength of women or is the line an abandonment of women? Does the line simply tell it as it is, and thus illuminate women’s conditions, or does it help perpetuate those patterns of being? Or does it do both of these things at the same time, with a kind of ironic slipperiness that makes us probe the relationship between utterance and belief?“

All of the above, I think, & that’s so much of what struck me. There’s self-awareness about beauty as an effective lure (/tactic), but the speaker doesn’t seem to care whether this is read as a testimonial, condemnation, both, or something else entirely. Here,the poem seems to say, is the glitchy energy of femininity— which, by the way, I’m taking to mean the experience of moving through the world as a woman.

As the poem goes on, the speaker seemingly comes into a more serene view of her existence. I belong to no one. I do as I please. I don’t need anyone’s blessing. I’ll move when I feel like it. We recognize this language of the empowered woman on her own. But wait, what else? A fish of my own spirit.

After reading “Whole and Without Blessing” at least hundreds of times over the years, that line suddenly jumped out. It felt significant to the poem’s complicated assertion of selfhood in a way that I couldn’t fully identify. In an attempt to gather less inchoate thoughts about that image, & the poem more broadly, I brought it up to the brilliant poet & educator Raena Shirali. Raena had recently finished reading Gregg’s All of it Singing, which I know because I gave her a copy for the occasion of her 30th birthday. (Do you know the self-conscious joke about how poetry is customarily summoned by the wider world for weddings, funerals, & other life cycle rituals, as if to imply that poems only exist to commemorate or affirm the blips of our human lives? Sometimes that call comes from inside the house.)

While the relative lack of critical attention to Gregg’s work is a mistake, discussing her poems with friends has expanded my appreciation & understanding of their pull in ways that are (gratefully!) untethered to the weightiness & formality of scholarship. And what is this essay, if not part of a conversation about recognition?

“[The poem] articulates what women have to absorb into our identities, & our ways of navigating personal & intimate landscapes that have nothing to do with our character or sense of self, or, more importantly, what we want to identify as our sense of self,” Raena said, while I made frenetic bobblehead motions in the video chat. “Also, in an acknowledgment of that forced absorption, & in defiance against it, is to be a fish of your own spirit. Fish are really not sexy. I think there’s something revolutionary in the fish, & in the spirit, which is the closest to a religious epiphany that the poem gets.”

Raena’s astute observations point to how, even as this poem recognizes (but doesn’t resolve—& really, how could it?) the tensions & gaps between “femininity” as ascribed by the world vs. our interior lives/selves, there’s still something revelatory about its assertions. A fish isn’t a conventionally alluring image, & yet the speaker isn’t disavowing her erotic self. Rather, she has come to a part of her life in which she can, to some extent, evade or refuse externally imposed notions of what she must be.

Early in life, we learn—then forget, only to be reminded, again & again, through being alive—that we’re animals. And as we come to understand that we’re animals who are capable of experiencing both great suffering & great pleasure, we come to see the points where they often meet. As Raena & I chatted, we kept returning to the notion that, for women, the disturbing awareness of being unwittingly “bred” to expect/endure violence arrives, pitilessly, as we’re coming into our erotic power & self-conception.

“Thinking about how suffering is part of sexuality causes turmoil when you’re young,” Raena said. “And then you come to absorb it.”

Which isn’t to say accept, or to imply resignation. Gregg doesn’t offer a tidy resolution in any direction—but we see that the speaker is still heat-seeking, still guided by desire. As I was finishing this piece, I came across a video of Gregg reading an earlier version of “Whole and Without Blessing” (first published in 1978; the recording is from 1976). Her charged delivery of that last word, pleasure, is defiant.

There it is, put simply: a self-preservation that isn’t espousing any kind of asceticism. As with so much of Gregg’s work, this poem’s refusal of simplistic thinking or perspective opened a space in me to write into contradictions. To regard the experience of being a woman in all of its complexities & tensions— how resilience within a patriarchal & violent culture doesn’t need to involve denying the beauty & desire that we inhabit or pursue. Pleasure is no incentive for enduring the ugly parts of our animal lives— this breeding, this suffering, this violence—but, when I so choose to move, it remains the gleaming lodestar that I orient my body toward.

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albertasunrise · 2 years

Text

The Unexpected Gift - Part 10

Masterlist

Summary: When a baby girl is dropped on Javier Peña’s doorstep with a note claiming she’s his, he’s suddenly thrust into fatherhood. With no clue what to do, he will need all the help he can get if he’s not to stumble at the first hurdle.

Relationships: Javier Peña x Reader, Steve Murphy x Connie Murphy

Warnings: Like AO3, I choose not to list any warnings. This will be 18+ If you are triggered by anything to do with babies then read at your own risk… timeline has taken a nose dive sooo.. yeah 🤪

(Life is still mad and I have had so little time or energy to write so sorry about that. I'm getting married in 33 days so yeah... Life's mental. I hope this was worth the wait and thank you all for continuing follow this fic! Love y'all 🥰 it is a little short but its for good reason I promise!!)

Series Masterlist- Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9

Javier stood there gobsmacked as the news you’d given how swam around in his brain. It was your irritating huff that snapped him back to attention.

“You’re pregnant?” He practically squeaked and you scoffed.

“Yes, Javier.” You snapped and he winced a little at your tone.

"H-how?" He stuttered and you scoffed "I mean, we haven't been trying you're on protection so-"

"I don't know what to tell you Javi." You interrupted and his mouth snapped shut "It failed and I'm pregnant." You grumbled "Sorry."

His brows drew together at that. He was confused to be sure but he didn't want you to think for a second that he was upset with you.

"I know that this is great timing and all but it's happening and I want to keep it but if you do-" Your rambling was cut off by his lips on yours and suddenly the anger that had consumed you a few moments ago seemed to fizzle to nothing.

"There is nothing to be sorry for." He assured you as he rested his hand on your stomach whilst cupping your cheek with the other "This is wonderful news."

"Really" You choked and he nodded as a grin spread across his face.

"Really."

"Oh my god." Connie practically squealed and you both jumped, having forgotten she was there at all "You're going to have a baby." She squeaked and you let out a breathy chuckle.

"We're going to have a baby." You replied with a nod, wiping away the two tears that escaped from your eyes as you watched Javier drop to his knees.

"Hola little one." He uttered, his eyes as wide as saucers as he locked them with yours "I'm your Papi and I'm so excited to meet you."

"I can't leave now." Connie sobbed and your heads both swung around to look at her.

"Are you serious?" You asked and she nodded "I can't leave you alone now. Especially if the boys are going to be away more."

"They've asked us to permanently move to the Medellin base." Javier confessed and your face dropped "But I am going to apply for a house for us there." He continued "You're coming with me, baby." He stated, "I don't want to miss a moment of this with you."

"Do you think Steve would do the same?" Connie asked and Javier nodded.

"In a heartbeat." He stated and she nodded.

"Does this mean María stays?" You asked as your eyes drifted to the still sleeping infant.

"Yes, Cariño." He said softly "She's staying."

Two weeks later you were unpacking the last of the boxes in your new house the embassy had managed to arrange for you. You had not however managed to secure a role at the Searchbloc headquarters, something that Javier had been relieved about. He had confessed that he hadn't liked the idea of you working. He prefered to know you were safe at home with Connie and María every day whilst he searched for the man that had torn so many lives apart including yours and almost his.

Escobar may have not pulled the trigger the day he almost died but he was just as much to blame as that sicario was.

Steve had made it his mission to ensure his wife felt safe too. Having almost lost Connie he'd done everything he could to make sure she didn't leave but he didn't have to worry. She wasn't going to leave your side.

"How's the morning sickness?" She asked as she sipped her coffee and you, your tea "That eased off now?"

"Yeah, thank god." You groaned, eliciting a chuckle from the other woman "It never lasted this long with Masie."

"Maybe it's because this one is a Peña." Connie teased and you chuckled.

"Think you're on to something there." You giggled, jumping when María screeched, laughed and clapped from her highchair "Think she agrees with you."

"How's Javier handling it all?" She asked, her tone softening as she leaned over to stroke the top of María's head.

"Really well." You said with a nod and a smile, your mind wandering back to how he'd said goodbye to you and baby this morning "He's so excited for me to start showing."

"I bet." The blonde replied, "He missed all that with María I suppose so this is his second chance I suppose."

You nodded and shrugged, sipping your tea again before both your attentions fell on Marīa.

"And how about you princess?" She asked softly "Are you excited to have a little brother or sister?"

"SWISH." She yelled and you chuckled.

"Swish?" Connie asked, her eyes tracing to you.

"SWIIIIIISH." She yelled again and you couldn't stop the giggles then.

"What an earth is a swish?" The other woman asked and you shook your head.

"We think maybe she means sis." You stated, "That she wants a sister but we can't be sure."

"Papapapapa." She started rambling and your heart swelled as she wriggled in her chair.

"Papi will be home a little later, dulzura." You said and she clapped and smiled at you.

"Mamamamamammm."

You both froze.

"She said that before?"

"Nope." You replied, popping the 'p'.

"This you mama?" Connie asked as she pointed at you and you fought to keep your tears at bay.

"Mama." María squeaked as she reached for you and you couldn't stop them then.

They flowed freely as you stood up and scooped her up from her highchair before placing kisses in her curly hair. You weren't her mum but you were as good as and it made your heart swell to hear her call you that word.

It was something you'd never heard your daughter call you that. Never crawl or walk. You'd had those milestones ripped away from you but you'd been fortunate to share some of those with Javi and now, you were getting to second chance to share those with this new life growing inside of you.

"You okay hun?" Connie asked upon seeing your tears and you nodded.

"Wonderful."

…

You squeaked as you felt two strong arms encircling you and pulling you close and you sighed when he placed soft kissing on your flesh.

"Evening Mi Amor." He hummed and you smiled.

"Evening." You replied, eyes drifting to how Javier's hands had settled on your stomach "How was your day."

"Uneventful." He responded, turning you to face him "Yours?"

"María called me mama." You said and his eyes grew wide.

For the briefest of moments, your heart started to race and your stomach twisted but then his face lit up and you relaxed.

"She did?" He asked and you nodded "I can't believe I missed that." He sighed and you smiled sweetly at him.

"You're okay with her calling me mama?"

"Why wouldn't I be?" He asked with a bemused expression and you shrugged.

"Because I'm not her mother." You stated simply "Her mother was Elaina and-"

"And she always will be but you have been there for her. You're the one who's helped me raise her." He stated, taking your hands and pulling you towards the couch "Elaina is gone and you're here. You are her mum Mi Amor."

"You once told me I wasn't." You warned and he groaned at the memory.

"And I was an ass for saying that because it wasn't true and I didn't mean it." He stated simply "I was deluding myself into thinking I was doing right by my family but forgot that you are my family… This, right here… This is all I want."

"I'm glad Javi." You replied, kissing him sweetly "Dinner's almost ready." You stated and he nodded.

"How much longer?"

"Around ten minutes." You replied.

"Plenty of time then." He said as he ran his hand up your bare thigh towards your sleep shorts.

"Plenty of time for what?" You queried, gasping as his fingers curled around the waistband and started to pull them down.

"Plenty of time for Papi to make mummy feel good." He purred before diving headfirst into the apex of your thighs and devouring you like a man starved.

You couldn't help but moan loudly as he went to work, paying particular attention to your clit as two thick fingers circled your entrance. You thought you could cum just from the feel of his digits stretching you out but it was the rough pumping and expert curling that had you gushing over his hand and face in record time.

"Fuck that's hot." Javier panted as he sat up and took in your sated form, chest heaving and lid heavy as you gazed back at him "Reckon you could do that once more before dinner?" He asked but you were too limp to answer "Let's see."

You were four months along when you started to show. Your stomach had a small swell to it and your breasts had started to get bigger. This in turn had done something to Javier.

He was ravenous for you all the time.

He didn't care that you tasted different. He continued to eat you out like you were his favourite meal and your sex drive, in turn, had skyrocketed. You'd certainly been more active since getting together with Javier but now you were having him when and whenever you could. Your inhibitions seemed to be non-existent and only the night before you had let him fucking you in the toilets of the restaurant that you'd gone to with Connie and Steve.

Your relationship seemed to be stronger than ever and you were glad of it. All those insecurities you'd felt that had kept you apart for so long, were no longer an issue. Peña showed you every day that you were his queen. The fruit of his every desire and you'd never felt sexier.

At five months your bump was very much obvious along with this milestone with that came the day you'd been most excited about.

Finding out the sex.

Javier had wanted it to be a surprise at first but the more you'd begged, he'd soon folded. Maria still wanted a swish, whatever that meant, and you were praying for a boy.

Javi, a girl.

When the day of the scan came around you were practically buzzing with excitement. You dressed yourself in to some leggings and one of Javi's t-shirts as that was all that now fit you and the two of you practically skipped out of the door.

There was then a tense, excited silence that hung over you both as you waited to be called in. Hands entwined as you chewed your bottom lip and he bounced his knee but then…

"Peña?"

"You ready Carino?" He asked and you nodded excitedly before you both go to your feet and followed her inside.

It was then a case of getting on the bed and lifting your shirt as the kind-faced doctor got her equipment ready. as you lay there, shivering at the gell and holding onto Javier's hand, the agent smiled down at you, his eyes raking over your bump and admiring it. Inside there was his baby.

"So are you learning the sex today?" The doctor asked in quickfire Spanish and Javier answered just as fast.

The probe was manoeuvred around your belly before they quickly found the life inside of you and its strong heartbeat. You practically sobbed at the sight, looking up at Javier and finding his face very much mirrored yours.

"Congratulations." The doctor said, switching to Spanish.

"A boy!" Your heart leapt at that and Javier choked on a sob before kissing you sweetly.

"Are you disappointed, Mi Amor?" You asked teasingly as he pulled back to look you in the eye "I know you wanted another girl."

"As long as they are happy then I am over the moon."

"Ce they are very healthy." The doctor stated as they continued to study the screen "Very happy with progress." They finished and you both breathed a consecutive sigh of relief.

"I print pictures."

"Gracias." You both said in unison before returning to attention to the waving baby on the screen.

…

"Well??" Steve blurted out almost as soon as the two of you walked through the door, an excited Olivia on his lap.

"It's a boy." You squealed and Steve cheered, his daughter mirroring his reaction.

"What did I miss?" Connie asked as she carried a freshly changed María into the room.

"We're having a boy." Javier repeated and Connie cooed at that "Hear that Dulzura? You're going to have a baby brother!!" Javier said sweetly as he took his daughter off the blonde.

"NO!" María yelled "SWISH!"

"We still don't know what swish means bebita but you are definitely having a baby brother."

"Swishhhhhh." She whispered and you all chuckled at her.

"I look forward to her making sense." You stated and everyone nodded in agreement.

"Swish swish swish." María continued to babble in Javier's arms whilst the rest of you sat so that you could fawn over the photos. For a moment the older agent sat back in his seat, eyes drifting between his daughter, his lover and his friends.

He couldn't believe his life now. Less than two years ago he was the Batchelor of Bogota as everyone called him and now he was settled down with a baby and another on the way. If someone would have told him this was how his life was going to turn out he would have laughed in their face but now… as lived it.

He wouldn't have it any other way.

This was his life now and it was perfect and he would be damned if he let anything get in the way of that. He vowed at that moment that he would do all it took to take down Escobar as swiftly as he could because once this was done. He was going to throw in the towel and focus on the best thing to ever happen to him.

Little did he know that life doesn't always go the way you want it to.

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twinkleimagines · 3 years

Note

Hiii drew smut where they meet from Madison and have been talking and then the cast plus y/n go out clubbing and they confess there feelings / also can drew be rough.

*Keep it on the low*

Warning: smut and language.

I got carried away with this one so I hope you guys like.

“ I just feel like we never see each other anymore “ you spoke over the phone Bailey.

“ I know” she whined out. “ listen we’ll fly you out this weekend so we can hang and you can meet my friends okay? You’re going to love them “ she insisted.

“ okay” you agreed, the feeling of excitement rushing through you. Madison was your best friend since middle school and it had been a touch transition since she began filming her new tv show, Outer Banks. Of course you talked on the phone but it wasn’t the same, and you missed her truly.

You had almost became envious of her new cast mates because they were daily posting videos and pictures with each other and it made you miss her more than ever .

You quickly went back to your bedroom, packing a suit case- the weekend couldn’t come any faster .

****

“ I’m walking down the escalator now” you spoke as you sat on the phone with Madison trying to find your way to her.

“ okay - wait I think I see you” she spoke out.

“ y/n!” You heard someone yell from in front of you. You lifted your head only to see Madison standing at the bottom of the escalator, her hand waving at 90 miles per hour.

“ Maddy!” You yelled before jogging your way down the already moving steps.

“ oh my gosh!” You yelled out as you both wrapped each other in a tight hug.

“ I’m gonna cry “ she spoke as she squeezed her arms around your shoulders.

“ ugh I know I’ve missed you so much” you poured .

“ c’mon we’ve only got the weekend and I have soooo much to show you” she insisted, tugging on your arm .

****

The ride to Madison’s hotel that she was staying it a was a bit of a drive from the apartment. She was staying pretty close to the beach and Charleston was probably one of the most beautiful cities you had ever laid your eyes on.

Madison had updated you on a lot, including a new girl she was talking to as well as her new friends and their characters on the show.

“ this Rafe guy sounds like a dick” you joked.

“ yeah but you’ll love Drew he’s literally polar opposite than his character . “

******

"Ahhh she's back!" a blonde headed boy beamed, running over towards your friend, ingulfing her in a hug.

"Rudy this is Y/n" She said with a wide smile, pulling you over.

"Hi" You beamed holding your hand out but Rudy instead pulled you into a hug.

"So glad you finally made it. Maddie over here wouldn't shut up about how much she missed you" He joked.

"Awe Maddie " You said with a sympathetic pout.

"Shut up" She laughed while rolling her eyes before pulling you further into the hotel.

"Guys" She spoke out loudly to a group of people sitting on her couch causing all of their eyes to advert towards you. " This is Y/n" She announced pulling you up next to her.

You awkwardly waved, feeling the heat rise to your cheeks as she practically put the spot light onto you.

"I'm Chase" One guy said leaning over the couch, holding his hand out.

"I'm Madelyn " The blonde girl next to him said standing up, walking over towards you. " it's nice to meet you" she beamed, pulling you into a hug.

'Okay so everyone is big into hugs,' you thought. You smiled widely at her before you looked over at another one walking towards you.

"I'm Jonathan Daviss, but you can call me JD" He spoke. you nodded excitedly.

"That's a cool nickname" you beamed, causing a smile to form on his face. You then looked over towards the last face on the couch.

Woah.

Now this man- he almost took your breath away. He stood up, his tall figure stretching high towards the ceiling.

"Hi, i'm Drew" He spoke, his voice the perfect tone, almost sounded like music to your ears. He had these sky blue eyes, perfectly pink lips, a little bit of fuzz on his jaw from being recently shaved, and brown hair draped over the sides of his forehead, parting perfectly down the middle. Your heart began to pound as he reached his hand out for you to shake. You hadn't realized you were staring until Madison nudged you with her elbow, bringing you out of your trance.

"Oh uhm yeah- i mean hi I'm y/n" You stuttered embarrassingly. He smiled a bright smile, his white teeth shining perfectly on his perfectly aligned face.

You sighed deeply. You never believed in love at first sight until now. How perfect this stranger was to you. If it weren't for you not wanting to humiliate yourself even more than you already were, you would've continued looking at him with admiration, but instead you turned your head to look at Maddie, trying to not to creep the poor guy out.

"okay guys I'm starving" Chase spoke up as the room filled with silence. "who wants to go eat?" He asked throwing his hands up. You grinned , already loving everyone's bubbly personality.

You sat your bag down onto the ground before tucking your hair behind your ear, watching as everyone began to make their way out the door.

"After you" Drew said, you and him being the last ones left in the room.

"Thanks" you said softly, walking out in front of him as he held the door open for you.

Who would've known that this would only the beginning of a very special relationship.

********

"Drew" You spoke out before his lips placed onto yours once again, his hand placed firmly on your thigh as your were tangled in his hair.

"Hmm" He hummed against your lips, his teeth nibbling on your bottom lip.

"We should tell them" You breathed out in between kisses.

"Mmm" he mumbled, his eyes closed as his lips trailed down your jaw towards your neck.

"I'm serious Drew I don't want to hide you anymore" You responded pulling away from him.

He stopped his movements, making eye contact with you.

"You sure?" He asked.

You and Drew had instantly hit it off that first weekend Madison brought you over.

It had happened the first night you had stayed the night. Everyone had fallen asleep and you and Drew stayed up for hours on hours endlessly talking about anything and everything. The sparks were flying. You were so engaged in every word that came out of his mouth, his sentences sounding like lullabies to your ears.

Before you had left you both had exchanged numbers and before you could even make it to the airport you were both texting each other. Throughout the first week you both spent every night on the phone until one had fallen asleep. It had almost became addictive the way he made you feel.

Neither of you spoke of your friendship to anyone though. Mainly wanting to take things slow but you also didn't want to upset anyone or cause any issues between Drew and Madison. He assured you it wouldn't upset anyone or cause issues but at the same time he wanted to respect your wishes and keep things a secret.

You both had been virtually seeing each other for three weeks before he flew you out for a weekend, just the two of you. You had stayed with him the whole weekend, movie nights and a lot of sex.

This week though you were invited by the whole group, and right now you were hidden off in Drew's hotel hiding from the group with Drew laid on top of you, the both of you shirtless.

"We can tell them tonight okay, i just want to enjoy the time we have together right now" He insisted. You simply nodded before leaning your head forward before placing your lips against his once again.

Drew sat up, smirking at you as he tugged on your jeans, pulling them down your thighs, exposing your pink laced panties that complimented your skin so well.

"So beautiful" Drew mumbled as his hands massaged against your thighs before reaching up towards your panties pulling them down as well. He reached over to the nightstand grabbing the condom on the top before pushing his own pants down, exposing his hardened pink shaft, the veins popping out the side.

You stared in admiration at the size as he placed the rubber over him.

"Flip over" he instructed. You quickly obliged, your face in his pillow. He tucked his arm under your waist, pulling your hips bag some to wear your bottom was pointed upwards.

You gasped loudly as you felt his tip insert into you, stretching your walls around him.

"fuck" you moaned out as he pushed into you, his hips pressed against your cheeks before he pulled back out, letting your own juices help lubricate him before he pushed back in at a faster speed.

"Fuck you're tight" Drew groaned out as he slowly pulled himself of you again, leaving just the tip in. You looked over your shoulder, smirking up at him as he looked down at you, his Adams apple poking out. Drew sighed heavily , closing his eyes for a brief second almost coming undone right then and there just from the sight of you.

He finally regained his composer, looking back down at you before pressing his hand onto the back of your head pushing your face further into the pillow before he began moving his hips once again, this time at a much faster pace.

"God Drew" you cried out as he hit your spot with each thrust, your hands balling in a fist around his sheets as you struggled to breath, overwhelmed by the amount of pleasure you were receiving. You arched your back further against Drew, giving him more access to go deeper into you, your hips moving causing your walls to tighten around him.

"Fuck" He breathed out, lowing his head some as we watched himself sliding in and out of you, his abs flexing with each thrust.

"Oh yes daddy yes "You moaned out, reaching behind you, grabbing hold of his hand that was placed on your bottom.

"You like that baby?" He asked before placing a firm smack against your left cheek. You hissed out , biting down on your bottom lip as your eyes focused on his body jerking forward over and over again, every inch of his body flexing as he moved himself in and out of you.

Since that first weekend you and Drew had spent together alone, he had learned more and more ways to work your body, especially when he realized you enjoyed it rough like him.

"Pull my hair baby" you pleaded, attempting to tug on his hand that had a firm grip on your hip while your body continued rocking back and forth.

Drew quickly obliged, reaching up to grab a hand full of your hair, pulling you back towards him, your back arched to where your arms stretched out, your hands placed against his pillows.

"God yes" You winced out, a slight stinging as he had a tight grip on your hair.

"Fuck princess" he groaned feeling his climax beginning to build. His thrusts began to speed up, your tits bouncing in the air as he continued to pound into you. You leaned up some, arm wrapping around his neck . You both began to lower, you practically sitting in his lap as he leaned back, propped up on one arm as the other had his hand wrapped against your throat. His thrusts were now at a steady but rough pace, slamming up against you as he placed sloppy kisses alongside your shoulder.

"God" He groaned out as his thrusts slowed down, turning more into grinds as his cock pulsed inside you, his warm load filling the condom. You begin rocking your hips back and forth along him riding your own high out, moaning his name out loudly as your toes curled, your climax euphoric. You climbed off of Drew, flopping your body down onto the his bed, breathing heavily as you ran your hands through your hair.

"That was amazing" you breathed out. Drew nodded, himself out of breath as well.

"I'm gonna get a shower" He responded as he stood up, his member beginning to soften. "We gotta meet everyone in two hours. Wanna join?" He asked. You smiled up at him before nodding, grabbing ahold of his reached out hand.

*****

"Finally" Madison groaned as she saw you climbing out of the black SUV that escorted you to the night club you and the gang were linking up at .

"Sorry got caught up" you responded brushing the hair out of your face as the wind blew against it.

"I can see" she chuckled, her eyes focused on the round purple hickey on your collarbone. Your eyes widened, you had almost forgotten about it. You had saw the hickey as you did your make up and Drew's shower but had forgotten to cover it.

"Who were you with?" She asked out of curiosity but you only shook your head, pretending to be shy about your actions.

"ugh okay come on everyone else is inside" She responded. You nodded before tugging slightly on your black dress as it rode up your thighs. You had your hair down with white sneakers on, a simple butterfly necklace and a skin tight strapless dress on that barely that went down a few inches on your thighs.

The music was loud, everyone definitely lit as you both walked in. Your eyes roamed the club. It was definitely a party style. There a lot of people around dancing, and neon objects glowing in the black lights. Madison guided you to the corner booth your shared friends resided in, including Drew.

""You look so cute!" Madelyn beamed as she wrapped you in a tight hug.

"You too babes" You responded, well yelled as you placed your chin on her shoulder, only to see Drew standing behind her, his eyes focused on your body. He almost looked upset. Seeming how you were still on the low about your relationship you didn't confront him, but you did check him out from afar. He stood on the side next to JD black denim jeans with a white striped button up collared shirt, with his signature gold chain around his neck and a black watch on his wrist.

Despite just getting your back blown out by Drew, you had to leave before anyone came searching for you so you didn't get to see Drew dressed up, the last image you had of him was of him in a towel and his wet hair slicked back.

He was looking so good at this point you had to distance yourself from him before you made it obvious of your secret.

"Come dance" Madelyn pleaded tugging on your arm.

"I need to be drunk before i get onto the dance floor" You joked. Madelyn though took you serious and walked over to the bar, ordering at least two shots for everyone since you were each going to be getting an Uber back to the hotels.

"Okay drink up" She responded holding both yours and her shot in the air. You quickly glanced over towards your secret boyfriend who was watching you intensely before you tossed your head back opening your throat, letting the alcohol burn its way down your throat.

"phew" you said, a shiver following shortly after.

"Okay, One more " Madelyn insisted. You didn't plan to get shit faced of course , but you were definitely interested in a good time so you obliged, repeating the same action again, this time the liquids going down a bit easier. You both stood for a second in silence before she shook her head.

"I think one more with do us justice " She grinned. You chuckled, already feeling a slight buzz coming as the alcohol spread through your blood stream.

"Don't you think you've had enough?" You heard someone mumble from behind you. You looked over to see Drew standing behind you. You furrowed your brows together. How the hell did he get over there so fast?

"Don't " you mumbled before looking down at the table trying to avoid his gaze. "You're making it obvious" You responded before taking a step away, turning your back towards him.

Unfortunately you didn't notice how much those words actually upset Drew. IT had almost felt like he was an embarrassment to you with how much effort you put in to hiding him so he walked away, finding his way back next to JD.

"You okay man?" JD asked as he saw the obvious frown on Drew's face.

"Yeah man" He mumbled as he looked across the both of them, watching you quickly gulp away yet another shot of alcohol, bursting into laughter shortly after with Madelyn. He shook his head in disappointment. Of course he wanted you to have fun but he just didn't want you to get so waisted you end up doing something you regret and him not being able to help you since you didn't want him to show his affection towards you in front of everyone.

"Want a shot?" Drew asked glancing over at JD who also looked not too amused at the moment with the environment and in need of some lighting up. They both watched you and Madelyn make your way to the dance floor, merging in with the crowd as the quickly took their first shot, both of them sighing heavily as they attempted to mask the burning feeling.

You immediately began swaying your hips to the upbeat music, the alcohol coursing through your body, giving you an almost out of body type feeling, something you usually didn't get unless you were in bed with Drew.

You didn't intend to jump into the party that fast. after 2 songs Chase had came by with more shots, unaware to the previous t3 you both had taken but neither of you denied them, quickly throwing your head back, wiping the drips off your chin as you looked over at Drew who surprisingly paid you no attention. You dancing slowed down as you realized the group Drew was associating with.

You could see JD and Rudy with Drew which was not an issue. it was the 3 bimbos standing with them too, one in particular standing too close for your comfort towards Drew, her index finger twirling in a poorly curled strand of hair.

You rolled your eyes, jealously now running through you. It was obviously intensified from the alcohol but you wanted to drag him away from the girls and show those girls exactly who he belonged to but you knew you couldn't say anything considering you and him were a secret.

"Hi" You heard from behind you. It was a tall brunette guy, pretty stocky with what looked to be hazel eyes and curly brown hair. At least that what you guessed since the dance floor was only lit up from black lights above you.

"Hi" You said with a friendly smile before turning back around, a frown forming as you noticed Drew laughing at whatever the girl closest to him just said.

"You got a name?" The guy asked, dancing behind you. You turned your head, almost ready to tell him to piss off until you glanced over towards Drew who still had not even given you a glance.

"Y/n" You responded as you turned your body completely around, facing towards him.

You studied his face. He looked cute, or maybe that was just the alcohol clouding your judgment. To your drunken eyes, he favored Timothee Chalamet to you, which was some one who was a sight for sore eyes.

- but, never the less, he wasn't Drew.

The guy mentioned his name back to you but between the alcohol and the music , you didn't hear him clearly. You looked to your side to see Chase and Madelyn in their own little world so you shrugged your shoulders, turning back towards the tall boy.

"You come here with someone?" He asked as he took a step closer, his body swaying along with yours to the music. You glanced over your shoulder towards Drew, the same scenario playing as earlier . You rolled your eyes becoming agitated with Drew before you looked back forward trying not to be obvious.

"I thought i did but it's looking like they didn't come in with me" You said, your lips close to his ear as he leaned forward to hear you.

"Huh" He responded leaning back. "That's to bad. You're very beautiful" He responded. You grinned widely, enjoying the attention.

The song changed, turning to a slower song, a more sensual vibe to it. You turned around, swaying your hips up against the guy as his hand wrapped around your waist.

You usually wouldn't do this, but between the alcohol and your jealousy towards Drew, you were enjoying every second of it in hopes Drew would catch on and realize what he was losing.

And surprisingly , that's exactly what happened.

Drew tried to play things your way. He tried to pretend that there was nothing going on between the two of you. He even gave other women attention to make it believable but it was all fake smiles and laughs when really all he wanted was to hold you. He did try his best though, that is until he looked up to check on you only to see your body being held by another guy, your ass pressed against the guys crotch as he practically dry humped you from behind.

Now Drew didn't drink as much as you did, but he did have 1 to 2 shots , enough to help spark a fire inside of him, rage flowing through his veins. Drew didn't hesitate to make his way over to you, his mind only focused on removing the guy from his girl.

"Y/n what the fuck" He spat out as he tugged on your hand, trying to remove you from him. Your eyes widened, guilt instantly flowing through you. You didn't mean for any of this to happen and seeing Drew standing in front of you fuming, you couldn't help but to feel embarrassed by your actions.

"Man back off alright she's just having a good time" The guy said with a cocky smirk plastered across his face.

"Fuck off " Drew scolded before looking back at you, completely brushing the guy off.

"This is really how you want to sell it ?" He said, his voice louder than normal because of the music, but those surrounding him including Chase and Madelyn hearing.

"Oh go fuck yourself Drew" You scoffed, rolling your eyes. You began to march off of the dance floor, making your way towards the table you were previously at, leaving the stranger stranded.

"REal mature Y/n" He responded following closely behind you. The rest of the group followed behind, beyond confused as to why the two of you would even be arguing like this.

"Oh but you weren't doing the same thing over here with the chick ? Laughing at every little thing she said" You spat out.

He threw his hands up.

"Y/n i was trying to play your little game of secrets" He argued back.

"Wait what secrets?" Madison spat out. The both of you stared at each other, unsure who was going or not going to spill the truth.

"No point in hiding it anymore Y/n" Drew argued. You furrowed your brows in frustration, crossing your arms over your chest as Drew spoke. Which he was absolutely right which upset you anymore.

"Somebody better start talking in point two second or -"

"We're dating" you interrupted, looking over towards Madison.

Everyone's jaw dropped except for JD's, his response was jut of him shaking his head.

"What!?" Madison yelled out in shock.

"Like talking?" She asked, looking between the two of you. " Or like, dating dating?"

"More like dating dating" Rudy butted in, pushing his index finger into a circle he made with his other hand, indicating intercourse.

You quickly placed your head in your hand with embarrassment.

"No fucking way" Chase responded, a wide grin on his face.

"Bro why didn't you tell me?" Chase yelled out placing his hand on Drew's shoulder.

"We didn't want anyone mad at us or like, i don't know it ruin this friendship we all have" You responded, lowering your head in disappointment.

"Y/n are you delusional? Why would that make any of us mad ?" Madison replied with a wide grin on his face.

"You guys, i called it" JD finally spoke, a cocky smirk across his face.

"Whaattt? " you responded looking over at him with confusion.

"You guys have been clung to each other since you first met. I'm not stupid" He laughed. You shook your head, a grin forming on your face.

"Okay the cats out of the bag so you guys don't have to continue pretending okay? " Madelyn responded. "Can we please get back to dancing?" She pleaded. They all nodded before the group once again went their separate ways, leaving you and Drew alone at the table.

"I'm sorry" You responded stepping closer towards him, placing your hand on his.

"ME too" He responded looking down at you.

"I kind of want to get out of here, yanno" You said with a smirk on your face. He grinned back, nodding his head.

"agreed".

*****

Hope you guys liked!

✨feedback as well as a like and reblog is always appreciated 💗✨

#drew starkey #obx #drew starkey fanfiction #rafe cameron fanfiction #drew starkey imagine #rafe cameron imagine #smut #obx fiction #drew starkey dirty imagine #drew starkey smut

430 notes · View notes

shirecorn · 3 years

Note

how about 17 and 24? what inspires you and how do you deal with art block?

Long post warning.

Art block...

I don't actually get art block, which is probably a combination of neurodivergence and drawing every day for the last 3 years

I wrote an entire tutorial about how to do that, but didn't feel like illustrating it. Would people want to read it even without visuals?

Maybe... I'll just start rambling.

There's a couple different types of art block, and it's really just a philosophy puzzle to get past them. I'm going to assume that the things I think of slow days, or art mud, is a milder form of art block and work through that.

Art block is a symptom, not a disease. You probably have something deep inside that you don't want to face, or don't know how. Sometimes you need to discover the cause, sometimes just power through.

Method 1: Rest

Let yourself just Exist. The act of consuming art is part of the process. Watching shows and playing games, taking a break and going gardening or focus on school. This is what you need for burnout-induced art block.

Method 2: Action

I always choose action, sometimes it means a tiny 2 min sketch per day. Ugly or super simplified. As long as I don't stop moving.

Toss everything. Start every piece thinking you will throw it away.

The act of drawing moves you forward; pinning it to the fridge does not. Don't work things until they are perfect. Work them until they are there.

Art block causes and solutions:

- No Inspiration

Not sure what to draw, nothing seems appealing. Art won't come out like it used to.

Do studies from life or photos. Sketch, paint, digital, traditional, doesn't matter. Rocks, fruit, figure drawing, landscapes, buildings, anything.

Study and copy professional's work. Old masters are best, like rubens, michalangelo (only his men tho) etc because they will teach you anatomy while you work. If you copy someone with a lot of flaws, you will repeat those flaws.

Trace to learn, not to earn. Trace photography and art from anyone you want. Don't post it unless you have the artist's permission or they are dead, whichever comes first. This is strictly work for yourself, on yourself. It's not about the finished drawing.

Find an artist with a fun style and try converting stuff into their style. Don't make that your new style though and especially don't start selling it. Your style is a chimera of everyone you love, not a clone of one person.

Take blurry photos. You don't need a fancy camera or good skills or beautiful subjects. Doing studies from your own photos can spark life into your workflow.

Make challenges for yourself. Randomly generate things to combine. Try fusing characters! Don't try to make it look good, just be fun.

Doodle patterns, swirls, lines, random stuff. Try looking up art warmups and doing some of those.

- Everything Sucks

You finally see how bad you are. Or somehow you got worse. Every piece is a fight and you spend hours trying to get something right only for it to be stiff and disgusting and STILL wrong.

Why are you trying to draw good? It's enough just to draw.

Accept that your art is bad. Every artist can see flaws in their work. Your problem is that those flaws outweigh anything remotely worthwhile and hurt to look at.

So what? You're in a period of growth, not a period of production. Keep that wonky second eye. Let them have hot dog fingers.

Show everyone! Show no one! No piece of art can ever be a reflection of the artist. Not their worth, not their skill. The only thing your art says about you is "Held and moved a pen for a bit."

Make bad art. It's ok. Most of the time, the pressure to perform and get things Right is what made them wrong in the first place. Relax.

- No Motivation

The #1 killer of artists everywhere. On some level you think you should draw, on every other level you think you should stay in bed.

You are not lazy. You wouldn't have read this far in a post about art block if you were lazy. You wouldn't CALL it art block if you were lazy. Laziness is wishing you didn't have to do anything. A block is wishing you were doing something. If you think you can namecall Yourself into productivity again, you're wrong and You need to unionize so that you don't treat You like that anymore.

Consider Mental Illness. Losing interest in something that brought you joy can be a symptom of depression. I know it seems obvious, but if you're waiting for a sign that it's "bad enough," it's bad enough. Seek care if you have the means. Forgive yourself if you already know this.

Selfcare. Examine yourself for neglect. Nutrition, exercise, enrichment, social need, and sleep are all part of the art process. Eat three meals and sleep 8 hours. That's your gaymer fuel. You deserve it, I promise. Depriving yourself of your needs will make your blocks worse, not kick you into making them better.

Identify potholes. Sketchbook falling apart? Tablet cord frayed? Half your pencils missing? Chair uncomfortable? Desk hard to reach? There's a lot of things that you tell yourself to work around and get over. Just because you CAN workaround something, doesn't mean you SHOULD. A difficult work environment can cause secret dread deep inside that you don't recognize and just think you're lazy. What you think of as "no motivation" might actually be "I don't want to deal with my tablet disconnecting every time I move it wrong and I have to wiggle it for a few seconds to make it work again." These little things are like potholes in the road. Sure you CAN still drive through them, but eventually you're going to look up and realize you haven't voluntarily left the house in weeks.

Repair potholes and roadblocks. You might feel bad about buying a new pencil, headphones, tablet, car, etc because technically the old one works if you hustle. But if you're running into so many potholes you've ground to a halt, it doesn't Actually work anymore, does it? Invest, save up, request, and require working equipment and suitable conditions. This stuff isn't just cushy privilege, it's an investment in yourself and your art. You are worth the effort it takes to clear the way. If you can't afford reliable (reliable! not perfect or luxurious) equipment, then say it. If cardboard is all you can afford, draw on cardboard. But know that you deserve canvas, and one day you might be able to make the jump. Acknowledge that sometimes, if you don't have it in you to smear burned twigs on wet cardboard, the problem isn't motivation, but opportunity.

- Haven't Drawn in So Long

A unique type of art block that self perpetuates. The thought of starting again is so stressful you can't do it. Or maybe you'll do it tomorrow. Yeah. Tomorrow for sure.

Face your fears. Are you ashamed of your lack of drawing? Are you anthropomorphizing your paper and thinking it's going to judge you, like "oh NOW you come back >:/" I internalize voices I hear and project them onto other people, concepts, locations, and inanimate objects. Your paper, computer, WIPs folder.... none of that is judging you.

Reframe your WIPs. Do you feel shame when you see "unfinished" projects? Why? Who says you MUST bring everything you start to Finish? You don't have to. A sketch is a finished art piece; it's called a sketch! If a sketch is a fully realized creation, pages that are half colored, 75% lined, or partially rendered are all fully realized creations too. Unless paid otherwise, art is done when you're done working on it.

Lower the stakes. Draw a chibi or grab some crayons. Get messy and slowly ease yourself back into the flow over the course of a couple days. It's fine.

Get a buddy! Find an art meme, do an art trade, get a study subject, or just wing it. Drawing art alongside someone can help you get past that block.

Pretend you never stopped. Don't think about the gap, how long it's been, or rustiness. As far as anyone knows, you drew the mona lisa yesterday and didn't break a sweat. Today, you drew a starfish on your hand with a gel pen. Keep up that streak, good job!

Just keep drawing. Make a goal to do one sucky drawing per day on the back of a napkin. Don't make up for missed days, just pretend they didn't happen. Who's going to judge you? The calendar? That's pieces of paper; it doesn't have an opinion. Draw a cat on it. Done. Keeping up the momentum is a great way to prevent art blocks in the future.

TLDR: Draw imperfectly and toss it. Selfcare is king. Draw often and don't judge yourself.

Art is a process, not a product.

#shire screams #art tips #ask #art block #long post

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majestyeverlasting · 3 years

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can you write prompts 3&10 with beefy!bucky x reader where he takes her on a surprise date under the stars n they cuddle n it’s cute n shit :)

✩ Alas, the time has come for a night under the stars. These prompts are amazing together, and tried my best to make it as cute as possible. It takes place in Brooklyn, and there's fairly lights, caresses, and of course kisses. A sprinkle of innocent teasing as well. Thank you so much for your patience, and I hope you enjoy.

✩ Prompt 3: “I told you the stars were gonna be out tonight.”

✩ Prompt 10: “It’s hard to concentrate when you’re kissing my neck like that.”

Brighter Than We Know

The same sky that was once a rich blue mixed with the warmth of orange had begun to welcome the beginnings of darkness. Only a trace of daylight remained, nothing more than a fleeting hint of illumination that proved the sun once shone over Prospect Park. That's where the two of you found yourselves, settled on a red blanket in a clearing of grass with a view of the lake. A few small mason jars filled with fairy lights were positioned on the ground around you.

The hands of time always seemed to move faster when you and Bucky were together. An indescribable easiness never failed to accompany his presence.

There was a warmth to the air of the budding night, and cricket chirps ascended from all around. Bucky sat with his legs outstretched, leaning back onto his hands. And you laid perpendicular to him with your head resting in his lap, gazing upwards and allowing yourself to be lulled by the atmosphere. When you closed your eyes, he traced a finger along your hairline and all the way down to follow the curve of your jaw. A pleasant tingle was left in its wake. The content hum that rose from your throat served as all the encouragement he needed to continue.

However, as his fingertips began to trace your lips, you opened your eyes and took his hand in yours—you’d always adored his hands. They were so strong and yet so gentle. You pressed a kiss to his palm, smiling at the way his fingers curled ever so slightly. Then you let go, and he continued to caress your features as if trying to further engrain them in his mind.

Soon, Bucky eventually said. Soon it would be dark enough for the stars to be seen in the heavens above. There was an inkling of doubt that you ended up voicing to him, but he soothed it with an easy smile and another promise that it was only a matter of time. The outing itself had been his idea. After dinner, you were expecting to go back to his apartment. But that’s when he’d told you that there was one more thing he’d planned.

Curiosity getting the better of you, you’d asked him question after question as the two of you arrived at Prospect Park, and began to walk through it; even going over your favorite bridge, and getting to hear the trickle of the small waterfalls leading into the pond beneath. There was something different about the way he was holding your hand, he was guiding you. Not merely walking with you.

It came to the point where the path you’d been following was no longer lined with trees. That’s when you saw everything in the grass a short distance away—the blanket, the mason jars. There were others out enjoying the stillness, but nobody occupying that space. Surely, that wasn’t for you two. But he led you right to it, and your heart soared in awe. There were a couple pillows and a bag of your favorite chocolate as well. You’d attempted to ask Bucky how he’d managed to put everything together, but the only answer he gave you was that he'd had help from somebody who was fond of the two of you.

Ms. Cleary. It had to have been her. Bucky winked when he saw the realization in your eyes. Virginia Cleary was a kind, older woman who lived across the hall from him. She spoke whenever she saw you, and had given him an original canvas painting of hers back when they first got acquainted. Her husband had passed away years prior, and her son worked as a businessman upstate. So she took pleasure in being caring and nurturing towards the two of you.

In that moment, you swore your gratitude for them was endless. The week had been so demanding of you, and in an instant their efforts had lifted the ghost of the weight that lingered on your shoulders.

Bucky began to shift, and you realized it was because he was lying onto his back. Naturally, you repositioned as well, opting to snuggle into his side and rest your head on his broad chest. You felt its steady rise and fall as his arm wrapped around you. He smelled woodsy with a hint of something warm and spiced. The dark gray shirt he wore defined his upper body, and you let one of your hands run up his torso, and over the hard shoulder of his metal arm. There was a solidness to his muscularity, but he was relaxed underneath your touch. There was no tension to be felt.

You glanced at his face, and saw that his eyes were directed upwards. You followed his gaze to where the stars still had yet to appear. Any moment, though. You craned your head and began peppering featherlight kisses to the crook of his neck. His stubbled Adam's apple bobbed with a swallow. And you felt him squeeze your waist as the exhales leaving his nose grew more audible.

“Doll.” His voice was gruff. “It’s hard to concentrate when you’re kissing my neck like that.”

You hummed, but went on to start nibbling his skin, unable to contain a smile. After a few more seconds, you relented, and heard him whisper something quick under his breath. A chuckle bubbled out of you, as you propped yourself on his chest.

“What was that?”

He lips twitched upwards. “I said ‘please give me the strength.’”

You playfully clawed your fingers in his thick pecs. “You’re already pretty strong.”

“Not up against you, I’m not.” There was love in his eyes. A silence settled between the two of you for a few moments. You even let your cheek come to rest on your arms as they were folded on top of his chest.

But then Bucky shook your shoulder after a while. “Hey, look up, pretty girl. You can see ‘em shining now—all over.” His voice was low and measured, proud too.

As if charged, you pushed yourself up into a seated position, eyes wide and curious as they began to scan the vastness of the sky. They seemed to be everywhere, the stars. Some were clustered whereas others seemed to be off by themselves. But no matter the distance, none of them were truly alone as they shone amongst each other.

“See there, pretty girl?” Bucky said. “I told you the stars were gonna be out tonight.”

The moment you turned around to look down at him, he feared being awakened because your smile looked like something out of a dream. The glow of the fairy lights and the lampposts in the distance just barely helped illuminate your face—he saw you nonetheless. In a way only he could, however. He saw beyond your appearance, to what radiated from within you: the childlike wonder you held onto like a friend, your constant pursuit of the ‘extra’ in the ordinary, the love you were always so willing to extend. The extent of your beauty was a fountain that never ran dry.

Bucky thanked his lucky stars that out of every soul in the universe, he got to grow in the understanding of yours.

“You did tell me,” you spoke up. “Thank you. For this—for everything.” You meant that, strongly.

“Of course. Figured you’d appreciate it. I know you’ve been working really hard, and that you…”

His words trailed off as you moved to lay on your stomach beside him. You remained propped on one forearm, and rested your free hand on his chest before dipping your head down to kiss him. But not on his lips quite yet. You pressed one to the tip of his nose, then some to both corners of his mouth. Flutters of anticipation stirred within his chest, and you rendered them into longing when you placed yet another to the dimple of his chin. The sight of you pulling away to study his face made him release a quick exhale of disbelief tinged with amusement. You gave him a little knowing smirk before finally leaning back down to connect your lips.

Bucky used his weight to push you onto your back so that he was the one hovering over you. In the process, your lips parted, only to find each other once again. The way he kissed you was more tender and reverent than anything. But of course, fueled by that spark of passion that was always alight whenever he was with you.

After pulling away, he dipped to return the little kisses you’d given his neck. The added scratch of his stubble drew the sweetest giggles out of you that you attempted to stifle by biting your lip. Bucky felt like he was floating as he detached himself from you entirely, letting himself roll onto his back once again.

There the two of you were, buzzing and looking up at a sky full of stars.

Bucky took your hand in his, and ran his thumb over the back of it.

“They’re the brightest I’ve seen them in a while,” he said.

You squeezed his hand. “And they’re even brighter than we know because they’re so many miles away.”

✩ Thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed your night under the stars.

✩ More fluffy Bucky fics

#bucky barnes #beefy bucky #beefy bucky x reader #bucky x female reader #bucky fluff #bucky x reader #bucky barnes imagine #sebastian stan #winter soldier #tfaws bucky #marvel #marvel fic

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ray-ray-writings · 3 years

Note

Could I totally request a small angst of a reader who is dating Technoblade suddenly going missing only for everyone to find her weeks later in Dreams collection room, similar to how Dream has a cage for Skeppy? Cause it’s the one thing the blood god cares about? Like all the angst and grief Techno goes through trying to find her and how he just becomes more unhinged or maybe Dream taunting him once they all found out like “do you want to know exactly how long it took her to stop calling for you? Do you want to know the exact moment she gave up ever seeing you again? Do you want to know the exact second she became mine to control instead of yours to love?”

Ever with love - 🌻

🌻, your brain is so big. I love your ideas so much, they’re always so flipping good.

A Part of the Collection-Technoblade x gn!reader

Techno was going crazy.

No one had heard or seen you for two weeks. You told him you were going to visit the nearby village and that you’d be back in a few days. For the first few days, Techno and you chatted consistently through your communicators. But then you stopped responding to his messages.

After two days with no response, Techno himself made his way to the village to search for you. You’re not there. The villagers tell him that you had got what you went there for but that you had left a few days prior. With this information, Techno calculates that your messages stopped when you got about halfway back home.

He thanks the villagers before heading back out. He heads to the main area of the SMP and asks around. He literally questions everyone as to whether or not they’ve seen you.

It’s no’s at every turn.

It takes everything Techno has to hold himself back. To not storm into each and everyone’s home and property and tear it apart in search of you. He does force his way inside everyone’s home to “talk” to them. Most people just let him in and do what he needs, well aware of the situation and the worries at hand.

Especially with the upcoming plan.

Techno forgot about the plan. Forgot about the help that his younger brother was soon going to need as he and Tubbo came to face Dream in what was being referred to as ‘the final showdown.’ He has to be there to help take down Dream. He’s the best PVPer on the SMP, he knows that, everyone knows that. He’s the Blood God after all. He takes care of those he loves, would go to the ends of the earth to protect them, and Tommy needed protecting.

The choice for him was hard. Techno knew that while everyone was busy with Dream, he could do a more thorough search through everything to try and find you. But he also knew he needed to be there to protect his brother. His baby brother that was on his last cannon life that Techno knew Dream would do anything to take.

It tore him up inside ,which in turn caused him to tear things up. The house looked like a tornado went through it. Techno had been spiraling the night before the final battle. He was angry. Angry at you for not coming home or answering his messages, angry at himself for not being able to find you and make sure you were safe. Angry at not being able to protect you and take care of you. Angry that he let you go by yourself even though you very clearly wanted him to come with you. Angry that he can’t find you and that no one knew where you were. Angry that he had made a promise to his little brother and that he had to be at the final battle instead of out searching for you.

All of that anger built up inside of him and burst. The outcome was his knocking chests over, spilling their contents onto the ground. The paintings on the walls were slightly crooked and torn due to his rampage. The furniture was misplaced and books were strewn about the room.

Heavy breaths racked his chest as his ruby eyes scanned the destroyed rooms. A heavy weight sat in his heart and his stomach. Guilt quickly replaced the anger inside him as he collapsed to his knees. His hands reach out and connect with the ground in order to steady himself. His fingers clutch at a fabric spilled from one of the chests.

It’s your old cape. The one you wore before you stole his cape. It looked better on you anyway. Techno brings the cape up to him and nuzzles his face into the fabric, trying to find a slight bit of comfort in it. It still smells like you. Being tucked away for so long hadn’t let it lose the piece of you that usually clings to the fabrics you wear.

Your scent calmed him, only slightly though. He still felt guilty, but with this small piece of fabric, he could pretend you were here, tucked into him, safe.

It was cold.

Being underground, surrounded by obsidian, trapped in a hole by iron bars made things cold. You were exhausted. You weren’t sure how long you’d been there. Been in Dream’s collection room. Dream had explained it to you when you woke up. You were the most important thing to Techno, the only thing he was attached to.

You tried to call out for him. You first thought you were somewhere near the SMP, hoping either he would hear you or someone else would hear you and tell him… then Dream told you where you were. It didn’t stop you calling out for him though. You called for him until your throat was raw and sore. But even after, you were stubborn in your resolve. Telling Dream that he would never get away with this.

“That’s the thing my dear… I already have. No one has seen you since you left the village. No one knows what happened to you and no one knows where you are. You simply… have disappeared.”

His words hurt you. They worried you. He was right. He had kidnapped you while you were on your way back from the village. He had your communicator. You were gone. No one knew where you were. Did they even care you were gone? You tried to hold up your resolve, but Dream’s words hit your head hard, and he knew it. The blond simply smirked after watching you for a moment before walking away and leaving you to your spiraling thoughts.

You were exhausted. Your mind was tired, your emotions depleted, your body sore. Everything hurt. You missed Techno more than anything. Your heart ached more and more with each passing day. Did they even care or notice you were gone? Did Techno miss you too? Was he looking for you?

A voice broke you out of your thoughts. For a moment you thought it to be Dream, coming back to taunt you more… But it wasn’t. It was a familiar voice, one you hadn’t heard in a while. But you would be able to tell who that voice belonged to anywhere.

It was Tommy.

Why is Tommy here?

You manage to make it to your feet and stumble forward, catching yourself on the iron bars. You pressed your cheek against them and looked out as far as you could. You could make out three bodies there. Tommy, Dream… and… Tubbo. The third seemed to be Tubbo.

Why? Why were they here? What is going on?

The three then turned and began walking toward you. As they drew closer, you could hear Dream giving the boys the same spiel he had given you about the server’s attachments. The things people cared about more than anything.

“Tommy! Tubbo!” You couldn’t help but croak out, your hand reaching out of the cell.

“Y/N!” The boys both scream in unison, racing toward you. Tommy’s hand grabs yours and you almost cry at the warm contact. You’ve been in here for what felt like forever. You hadn’t had any friendly touch, let alone any warmth. It felt nice to be seen as a friend again and to see a friend.

Before any of you can say anything, Dream’s hands clamp on the shoulders of the two boys and rip them away from you. A dry sob escapes your throat at the loss of contact. “No touching.” Dream barks, forcing them back down the hall and away from you.

“Please,” you beg, wanting just a bit longer to be with them. But Dream ignores you and continues to walk away. Tommy and Tubbo try to fight, to turn around and come back to you, but they can’t. Dream’s grip is too tight and too strong.

You’re left all alone yet again. Small tears begin to stream down your cheeks as you back up again, your back hitting the wall, and sliding down to a sitting position. You can vaguely hear what’s going on in the other room, but not very well. Everything seems so far away. To get a glimpse of the outside world through another person only to have it ripped away from you just as you get a taste takes a toll on a person, especially one as exhausted as you.

You’re zoned out for the most part, just hoping Tommy and Tubbo would be okay. You’re suddenly brought back to reality though when a lot of footsteps and voices joined you in the underground. It was hard, but once again you manage to stand up and brace yourself against the iron bars. Pressing your cheek to the cool metal, you let out a gasp as you can see everyone. It’s everyone. Everyone in the SMP was there.

Your eyes scanned the crowd and caught on the familiar pink hair of your boyfriend. You could sob. If you weren’t so exhausted you would be already. He had come for you. He was there. Techno was there.

You couldn’t exactly tell what was going on, but you didn’t care. Your heart soared as mostly everyone turned around to face the collections hall and begin making their way down it.

Puffy led the pack and was the first to see you. A gasp ripped from her throat as her eyes met yours. Heads turn to look toward her and more gasps sounded in the room. “Y/N,” the Captain breathes out just above a whisper.

You’re about to respond when another voice interrupts you. “Y/N?” Techno shoves his way to the front, pushing people out of the way, not caring enough to ask them to move. He comes to a full stop in front of you and stares at you with wide eyes.

“Hi,” you croak out.

Techno takes a step back and you’re hurt. Why is he moving away from you? Does he not want you anymore? Why would he--

Your thoughts are cut off by the sound of iron breaking. Something that would typically take four or five swings, is broken in just one by your boyfriend Techno. The bars are gone. You’re free. Techno tosses the pickaxe back into his inventory and stalks forward. Before you can do or say anything, you’re being pressed into Techno’s chest.

The warmth from him immediately seeps into your skin and floods through your whole body. Techno always tends to run hot, being part piglin does that, but you’ve never been more thankful for it than right now. You nuzzle your face into his chest, wrapping your arms around him and hugging him tightly.

He holds you the same way. Techno is scared that if you were to pull away, you would disappear again. That he would be alone again. He doesn’t want to be without you. Techno presses you close to his chest, and presses his face into the top of your head. His lips give your head sweet kisses as he revels in the fact that you’re safe now. You’re safe with him.

You two are hugging like that for a while, but all too soon it’s time to go. You want to get home, change clothes, get something to eat, and fall asleep next to your lover. Techno lets go of the hug, but immediately grabs your hand and leads you out of the cell. He wraps his arm around you and pulls you tightly to his side. The two of you walk out into the main room together… Just in time to see Dream being led away by Sam.

Dream smirks at the sight of you. “You know… of all of the attachments I gathered, I’ve got to say, collecting them was my favorite. The others didn't know what was happening. Being inanimate or an animal… A pet. But they were your pet. They could talk. And oh boy did they talk.”

Techno’s jaw clenched as Dream spoke. He just wanted the green clad bastard to shut up and go to prison, but he just kept talking. “They called for you. Their screams echoed off of the obsidian, begging for you to come save them but you never showed… Do you want to know?”

Techno knew he shouldn’t get involved, shouldn’t respond and give him what he wanted, but he couldn’t help himself. “Know what?”

“Do you want to know exactly how long it took for them to stop calling for you? Do you want to know the exact moment they gave up ever seeing you again? Do you want to know the exact second they became mine to control instead of yours to love?”

Techno’s jaw clenched even harder. He saw red. Without realizing it, he left your side. His arm unwrapped from around you, causing you to protest and try to hold on to him, but he was too far gone. Techno marched forward, drew his fist back, and punched Dream square in the face. The smirk from Dream’s lips fell as Techno’s punches began rolling in faster and harder.

Techno was livid. Livid that Dream could even think that for a moment that he had any say over you and what you did. That you were anything other than the one he loves and the one that loves him. You were his. No one else’s. His.

Sam was the one to pull Techno off, but he fought it. Dream just lost two cannon lives, Techno wanted to take the third. Techno fought against Sam tooth and nail, trying desperately to continue. It’s not until he feels a gentle hand on his arm does he stop. The touch is familiar, one he’s been missing for weeks now.

It’s yours.

He stops fighting the creeper hybrid and turns to you. Your big, watery eyes meet his and he immediately feels all the anger leave his body. The voices that were screaming to kill a moment ago suddenly switch their tune, telling him to protect you, take care of you, wrap you in his arms and not let go until you got home.

That’s just what he does.

Without another word, Techno scoops you into his arms bridal style. He then walks to the portal and with a small nod to the rest of the group, disappears into the nether. You’re in his arms the entire journey through the nether and the nether portal near your guys’ shared home. The warmth of the hug paired with the warmth of Techno’s body fills your whole body and causes your toes to curl.

The tundra is freezing and immediately depletes a lot of the warmth you had just gained, but Techno is quick to wrap his cape around you and make haste to get you inside. The house is still a mess, you’re about to ask why when you catch sight of the paintings that were torn by his hand, and you immediately understand. So you choose to say nothing and just enjoy when Techno carries you into your room.

He sets you down and helps you change into clean and warm clothes before helping you crawl into bed. Techno wraps the two of you up in the blankets before pulling you close to him. Your head and hands rest on his chest while his arms wrap around you and rest on your back. Soft patterns are traced on your back, lulling you to sleep.

“I love you. I love you so much. You’re not going anywhere without me ever again.”

You know that that’s physically impossible and that there would be times he wouldn’t be able to go with you, but right now that didn’t matter. You nod against his chest. “I love you too. Please don’t leave me.”

“I won’t, my love. I’m right here.”

You let out a small sigh and sink into him even more at the comforting words. The past couple of weeks exhaustion wash over you and you fall asleep before you know it.

Techno stays awake for longer though. He stays awake and just watches you. His eyes study your face and his arms tighten around you. You’re here. You’re in his arms. You’re safe. He repeats that mantra to himself over and over again as he looks you over.

Finally he decides he’s too tired to stay awake, the past two weeks also having taken a huge toll on his mental and physical health. Techno’s arms wrap around you a bit tighter and hold you a bit closer. He presses a soft kiss to your forehead and then your head before settling in for the night. His eyes close and he takes a deep breath in through his nose, inhaling your scent which makes him relax even more.

“You’re safe. I’ve got you… You’re mine. I’ve got you.”

Ending sucked, but the idea was amazing so praise 🌻 because she deserves it. I hope that I did this justice! Thank you so much for letting me write it!!

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sleepysnk · 3 years

Text

i finally got some time to post some Eren smut. it's fluffy and cute, i hope you all enjoy! :)

Making Love

Pairings: Streamer!Eren Jaeger x Virgin!Fem!Reader

Warnings: NSFW

"Are you serious right now? This game is so ass!"

Yelling could be heard from Eren's room as he was currently streaming at the moment. He was playing a new game his fans had suggested for him to play, and it wasn't going exactly well. It was difficult and he couldn't get past certain levels because of the frame rates; it annoyed him to no end.

"I seriously need to play demos before buying it.." Eren sighed, rubbing his temples in frustration.

It wasn't pretty late, it was around 10:30 p.m. he started his stream a little earlier because he wanted to head to sleep; as well as spend more time with his girlfriend. She wanted to at least have some cuddling time with Eren before bed, and he agreed that it'd be nice.

"Baby?"

His attention went towards the door where he saw his girlfriend standing. She was leaning against the frame, a look of worry written on her features.

Eren moved one of his headphones to one side. "What's up (Y/N)? Is everything okay, beautiful?" he asked, raising a brow.

She chewed on her bottom lip. "Are you almost done?" she asked.

He looked at the time, he also took notice that she had her pajamas on; maybe it was a good time to log off.

"Yeah, give me a minute, okay?" he replied, looking back up at her.

jaegerist45: lady calling?

erensimp43: tell y/n hello!

jaegerbombfan20: you look tired Eren

Eren laughed a bit, "Yeah she's calling, I'll for sure tell her hey, and yeah I am pretty tired. Exams have been killing me lately.." he replied. "I think I'm going to end this one a bit early today guys.. I'll probably have a longer stream next week for sure."

His fans sent a few goodnight messages and told him to sleep well, a few told him to say hey to (Y/N). He waved at the camera before ending the stream, he could feel the tiredness setting into his eyes.

"(Y/N)! I finished streaming!" he called, standing up and cracking a few of his joints. Sitting down in one space really made his body stiff.

The door cracked open and (Y/N) came walking towards him, a smile on her features. "How did the stream go?" she asked, looking down at him.

Eren looked up from his phone. "It went well, the game was shitty though," he chuckled. "Come sit"

Eren patted the spot on his lap, (Y/N) gladly sat down; adjusting her legs onto him.

Eren snaked his arm around her waist, pressing a kiss onto her cheek. "You tired?" he asked, nodding his head.

She drew circles onto the muscles of his chest. "Mmm, not really, I just wanted to spend time with you is all," she replied, looking into his emerald eyes.

His hand settled onto her thigh, where he began to circle the skin; goosebumps flaring. "Come here.. I wanna kiss you," he said, turning her face to face his.

Their lips connected with one another, Eren's lips were always so soft; they made (Y/N) dizzy whenever he kissed her.

Eren deepened the kiss, his tongue swiping along her bottom lip; to which she allowed access to her mouth. A slight moan escaping her throat.

"Eren.." she moaned, putting her hands into his hair.

His body suddenly felt hot, almost feverish. He could feel the way (Y/N)'s body was getting warm, she always got warm whenever the two were like this. It was crazy to see what Eren could do to her by just kissing.

"Fuck, you're so tempting right now," Eren said, moving his lips down to her neck; her pulse beating quickly.

She felt his teeth grazing her skin, his tongue gliding against her sweet spot. Mewls were coming from her lips, Eren's mind was going crazy from all of it.

"E-Eren, wait.." she said, looking towards him.

He looked at her with blown pupils. "Shit.. did I make you uncomfortable? I'm sorry," he said, chewing his cheek. Eren sometimes forgot that (Y/N) was a virgin, he never wanted to take things too far.

She ran her fingers along his jawline. "No baby you're fine.. I was thinking.. I – shit um – I might be ready," she replied, her cheeks hot.

Eren nodded, "Are you sure? I mean.. I don't want you to be uncomfortable, or regret it later."

She smiled, "I'm sure.. just as long as you're the one who does it," she replied.

"We'll go slow, okay? You can pull my hair if you want to stop," he said, hugging her tightly against him.

She shook her head, "Okay.."

Eren lifted her up bridal-style, a small yelp coming from her mouth. He carried her over to their bed, laying her down on the sheets; she looked so pretty beneath him. He wanted to be gentle with her, take his time, make her feel good for her first time; no lousy shit.

He hovered over her body, his breath fanning over her face. "I love you.." he whispered, leaning down towards her neck. He began to press small kisses into her skin, every so often he'd graze his teeth to leave a mark.

"I love you too.." she replied, putting her fingers into his hair.

Eren kissed down the valley between her breasts, then down to her belly and towards her navel. His lips trailing and leaving small wet patches on her skin, it made her shiver whenever his breath ghosted over them.

"I'm going to take your shirt and your pants off, okay? If you feel uncomfortable just pull on my hair," he said, looking down at her.

She nodded, "Okay.." she replied.

Eren lifted her shirt over her head, her breasts fully exposed. Her nipples grew hard from the cold air, she felt suddenly shy; almost bashful. She hadn't shown anyone what her body looked like, not even Eren.

Her arm suddenly flew to her breasts, covering them. Eren noticed and grabbed her hand, "You don't have to cover up princess, they're beautiful, just like you."

He slowly moved her arm away so he could get a better look, he used one of his hands to massage her mound. His middle and index finger played with her hard nipple.

A small moan escaped her mouth from the contact. "Eren.."

He smirked, "You like that huh? I like your tits, they're cute," he said with a smile.

She giggled a bit, that's what Eren liked to hear. She wasn't uncomfortable, she wasn't weirded out, she felt good in his presence. He wanted her at ease.

"I'm going to take your shorts off, okay?" he said, looking up at her again.

She shook her head, "Okay"

Eren hooked his fingers underneath the band of her shorts, he pulled the fabric down her legs and tossed them into another part of the room. She was wearing white panties, his cock slightly twitched at the sight. He noticed a darkened spot, she was wet.

He used the pad of his thumb to lightly rub her clothed clit. She jolted a bit from the contact, Eren took notice of how sensitive she was already, it made him ache in his sweatpants.

"Can I take these off? I want to make you feel good," he asked, looking up at her.

She shook her head, "Yes.. you can"

Eren removed her underwear, her pussy now fully exposed. She pressed her thighs together a bit, that familiar feeling of embarrassment taking over. Eren was seeing her naked, sure, he had seen her in a bra or without pants; but this was different. He was the first person to ever see her like this.

Eren was focused on her pussy, it was pretty. Her slick coated her folds and it leaked down to her ass, he couldn't wait to taste her; savor every bit of what she was like.

"Fuck.. you're so beautiful," Eren praised, his voice coming out soothing; almost speechless.

He pressed wet kisses into her thighs, nibbling a few times at the skin. A small whimper came from (Y/N)'s mouth, her body was growing hot and she could feel herself getting more wet by the minute.

"E-Eren, please.. can we – um uh – move a little quicker?" she asked, desperation coming from her voice.

Eren stopped to look at her. "Oh yeah, I just want you comfortable princess. I'll get things started," he replied, fixing his bun.

He maneuvered himself so he was now laying on his stomach, his print was pressing into the bed. As much as he wanted to get things over with, this was his girlfriend. The love of his life, it was her pleasure over his anyday; especially right now. This wasn't a quick fuck, this was him making love to her.

Eren buried his face in between her legs, he took a deep breath; the scent filling his nose. His tongue slowly licked up her folds, a moan coming from his girlfriend.

He put his hands around the flesh of her thighs, spreading her apart so he can reach deeper parts of her. His tongue dragged along her pussy, his eyes looking up towards her to see any discomfort. What he saw was the exact opposite.

She looked so fucking pretty.

Her lips were glossy and parted, small moans were coming out of her mouth and her eyes were shut. A sight that made Eren's cock ache even more.

"Eren, more! More, please!" she cried, digging her nails into his scalp.

His nose was against her clit, his tongue swirling around and savoring the taste. He slightly hummed against her, he took note on the way her face changed when he did that.

Eren sat up for a second, his chin covered in her arousal; his lips slightly pink. "Shit, you taste good," he said, hovering over her.

He leaned down to kiss her, she could taste her slick on his lips. She put her arms around his neck, deepening the kiss.

His finger went down towards her clit, it traveled down to her hole. She suddenly felt his finger entering inside of her, a gasp coming from her throat.

"O-Oh, fuck!" she said, grinding her hips against his hand.

Eren curled his finger around to reach that spot inside of her. "You're doing so good for me.. you're such a good girl," he said, kissing her cheek.

Her walls fluttered around his finger, he slowly moved in and out, her arousal coating his fingers. Eren curled around again, her eyes suddenly seeing white as he continued to finger her at a slow pace.

"B-Baby.. oh my God!" she said, gasping a little.

He smirked, "You like that beautiful?" he asked.

She nodded her head, her hand going down to meet his wrist. "Like that," she said, angling his hand upwards toward her g-spot.

He used his thumb to circle her clit, her walls were sucking his finger in and he could feel that she was getting close. He never knew she could be this sensitive let alone be this submitting to him; he liked it.

A knot formed near her belly, it was threatening to snap at any moment. "E-Eren.. I'm g-gonna cum.." she whimpered, grinding up towards him.

Eren slowed his movements before removing his fingers away from her pussy, he didn't want her to cum just yet. He wanted her around him for that, she needed to experience a real orgasm, not from his fingers, but from his own cock.

"I-Is something wrong?" she asked, concern dripping from her voice.

Eren smiled, "Not at all, I just want you to experience the real thing," he replied.

He got off the bed and began to remove his sweats, a print was prominent and a wet spot was visible on the material. Eren was itching to get them off the second he saw her naked.

She rubbed her thighs together as she watched Eren's sweats drop to the floor, his cock sprang free. It wasn't too big, but it wasn't small either.

"Should I..?" she asked, looking at the red tip.

He looked down at his dick then back at her. "What? Oh, no. Not just yet princess, it's your pleasure tonight over mine," he replied, walking towards the bed. "Are the condoms in there?"

She chewed her lip, "Do we have to do it with a condom..?" she asked.

Eren thought to himself for a moment, would going in without protection be a good idea? He's done it before, maybe once or twice, but how would she feel? Eren was going to take her virginity and he wanted to take as many precautions as possible, it was her pleasure over his.

"Are you sure you don't want a condom? I want you comfortable," he asked, cupping her cheek.

She looked at the table beside the bed then back towards him. "I want to feel you Eren, that's all," she replied, running her nails against his shoulder.

He looked at her, "If that's what you want then I'll go in without one, if anytime you want to stop-"

"Tug on your hair, got it," she cut him off, a smile on her features.

Eren chuckled before leaning down to kiss her. "It's going to feel a little uncomfortable at first, but I promise it'll feel good later," he said, looking into her eyes.

She shook her head, swallowing thickly. Her heart pounded against her ribcage, it was now or never, she was so ready for this moment.

Eren positioned his cock at her entrance, he rubbed the tip along her slick folds; a groan coming from his throat from the pleasure. She slightly whined at the feeling, it felt so good.

He took a deep breath before entering into her, she cried out in pleasure, Eren's cock filling her up felt so amazing. He groaned as her walls sucked him in, she was so tight and wet, it made him go crazy.

He looked down at her face to see if she was in any pain, her eyes were squeezed shut; her teeth biting her lip. Eren intertwined his fingers with hers as he leaned down to kiss her, his hips slowly easing into her so he could bottom out.

"F-Fuck.. you feel amazing," he said, kissing her cheek.

She put her arms around his neck, bringing his chest towards hers. "I love you.." she said, inhaling his scent.

He chuckled, "I love you more baby.. let me know when I can move," he replied.

Eren fully bottomed out, he gave her some time to adjust. He didn't want to move quickly, it could hurt her, it'd make Eren so upset if he accidentally did anything to make her first time bad.

"U-Um.. you can move," she said, tugging on his hair.

He hummed before starting to slowly thrust into her, his pace was sort of testing the waters he wanted to see if she wanted him to stop at all. All he saw was her lips parting open, small whimpers and moans escaping as he moved.

"S-Shit.. Eren! It feels so good.." she whimpered, throwing her head back.

His tip brushed up against her g-spot, her vision became hazy as he kept moving into her. Her walls were sucking him in, it felt so good, Eren swore her pussy was made for him. He loved every inch of her.

"Fuck, baby you feel so good.. I wanna fuck you so good," he said, his voice slightly raspy.

His pace started to pick up, the sound of her squelching pussy filled the room, his balls slapping against her clit.

"Yes! Eren! Shit!" she cried, digging her nails into his back.

Eren leaned on his knees to savor the view, she looked so fragile beneath him; like an angel almost. He couldn't break her he had to control himself just a bit, as much as he would love to take control and ravish her, he wanted her to remember this. Only the best for his baby.

His head went back, eyes fluttering shut as he thrusted. "(Y/N).. princess.." he groaned, squeezing the plush of her thigh.

That familiar knot began to form in her stomach, her legs began to tremble and a layer of sweat formed onto her skin.

"E-Eren.. I'm close!" she moaned, gripping the sheets beneath her.

Eren leaned down again to meet her face, either of his arms beside her head. His lips pressed onto hers, they were hot and wet.

"Cum around me baby.. you can do it beautiful," he said, slowing his thrusts. "I love you.."

As if on queue, her walls tightened around his cock. Her thighs trembling and her moans pouring out endlessly, it was like music to Eren's ears; heaven like.

"I love you too.." she said in between pants.

His cock twitched inside of her, his own orgasm slowly approaching. Eren picked up the pace just a little, he wanted to pull out and finish the job that way. He wasn't ready to cum in her; not just yet.

"I'm g-gonna cum.." he said, burying her face into her neck.

Eren twitched one last time before he pulled out, his thick cum pouring onto her belly. He slowly jerked his dick to get it all out, her name poured out of his mouth.

"Shit.." he said, looking down at her with a lazy smile.

Her eyes were half-lidded and a smile was on her features. "That was great.." she said, laying her head back onto the pillow.

Eren grabbed a few tissues and wiped the cum off her belly, he then tossed it into the garbage can. A few strands of his hair were stuck on his forehead from the sweat, he could care less about how he was feeling.

He collapsed beside her, his arm snaking around her waist. "I love you so much," he said, pressing a kiss into her cheek. "I hope I wasn't too rough.."

She ran her fingers down between her thighs, she winced feeling the soreness of her muscles. "Not too bad.. I'll be fine, but thank you, Eren." she replied, turning to face him.

He smiled, "You're so pretty, I want to make you my wife,"

She giggled, running her fingers along his hair. "Maybe.. we need to get settled first," she said, kissing his nose.

"I'm glad to be your first.. just know I'll be your last," Eren said, pulling her body closer towards him.

She buried her face into his chest. "I like the sound of that."

Eren placed his chin on her head before closing his eyes, he finally made love to (Y/N) and he couldn't be happier.

#anime #attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #aot x reader #aot x y/n #aot imagines #aot fanfiction #snk x y/n #snk x reader #snk imagines #snk fanfiction #shingeki no kyoujin fanfiction #eren jaeger #eren jaeger x reader #eren x reader #attack on titan fanfiction #anime fanfic #aot smut

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lubdubsworld · 3 years

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物の哀れ ( ‘the sadness of things’.)

Characters : Alpha! Jungkook x Omega ! OC.

Genre : Arranged Marriage / Temporary contractual Marriage.

Warnings : Non- Con/ Extremely Dubious Consent . High functioning alcoholism. Genre related consent issues. Implied suicidal thoughts.

Summary : A recently widowed Jungkook agrees to a contract marriage to keep his company afloat. His grief overwhelms him and it is hard to look at his new wife as anything other than an intruder .

[ Author’s Note : 物の哀れ ~ Mono no aware can be translated as ‘the sadness of things’. It comes from the words 物 (mono – thing) and 哀れ (aware – poignancy or pathos). The ‘sadness’ in question comes from an awareness of the transience of things, as taught by Zen Buddhism. When we view something exceptionally beautiful, we might feel sad because we know it won’t stay so beautiful forever – but appreciation only heightens the pleasure we take in the beautiful thing in that moment. ]

Chapter 1 Chapter 2

Chapter 3

“Yoongi left a bunch of painkillers for you. He said you can take up to three per day.” Jin said calmly , carefully slipping the sleeves of my t shirt over my wrist as i held my arms out for him. He slipped the shirt over my head gently but his arms hit my shoulders, jostling me. I swallowed the whimper of pain that shot through me at the movement. Mina was now awake, happily wiggling around on her rocker.

It was a little past seven in the evening and Jungkook wasn’t due to arrive for another hour .

“I could sleep on a bed of rusty nails right now. I’m so tired and i don’t know why. “ I whispered, staying still as he carefully drew the fabric down over my ribs, before stepping back.

“I’ll sleep in the nursery with her. You should take the bed. You’re in no shape to be up and taking care of her when she wakes up. Jungkook’s asked me to stay here during the day because I’m not going to be performing for a couple months anyway and I’ve been losing my mind, rattling around that huge ass mansion all by myself. ”

The phone rang, startling both of us.

I groaned before moving to get up but Jin oppa held a hand up.

“Stay in bed. I’ll go see who it is.”

I watched him disappear out of the room, settling back against the pillows and reaching for the ice pack in the small cooler by the bed. I had to ice my ribs every hour or so and while it didn’t seem to be helping much, I definitely appreciated the temporary numbness it offered.

Jungkook’s guilt had driven a new wedge between us and he hadn’t so much as looked at me in three days.

I wasn’t sure entirely if this was a good or bad thing. The fact that he seemed to be considering that he had to get his emotions under control to stop hurting the people around him was a welcome change. But the idea of going back to being ignored and treated like furniture , wasn’t really all that appealing.

“Jungkook’s parents are on the way.” Jin’s voice broke through my reverie and i jumped.

I resisted the urge to sob out loud .

Mr and Mrs. Jeon were on the opposite side of the grief spectrum and just as annoying.

Where Sooah’s parents were intent on making Jungkook remember their daughter as often as possible, Jungkook’s parents were intent on making him forget her.

The only thing the two of them had in common was a burning hatred for me.

Jungkook’s parents had wanted him to quit the company and sell it when it went into loss but Jungkook had categorically refused because that would result in all of his employees getting laid off, and back then Jungkook had been nothing if not ridiculously compassionate. Jungkook’s parents firmly believed that if it hadn’t been for me, their son would be back in Busan, letting them raise their granddaughter.

“Great, that’s great. Did you tell them their son is not around?” I grimaced. I’d only met them three times in total and the last time was in the hospital two months ago when Jungkook had crashed in the middle of a board meeting, weeks of starving and dehydration catching up to him. It hadn’t been a pleasant experience, getting cursed out in front of the doctors and nurses and it probably won’t be any fun in the privacy of my home either.

Jin gave me a sympathetic smile.

“He’s already told them he’s on the way. I’m going to take Mina out on a walk. Give you guys some privacy. Shoot me a text when they leave.” he said gently.

“Can’t I come with?” I begged and he laughed.

“That would be a bad idea, even if it weren’t for the cracked rib. Just relax. Smile and nod and let them spew whatever nonsense they want and then they’ll leave. ”

I opened my mouth to tell him how many flaws there were in his plan when the doorbell rang.

“And that’s my cue. Text me, yeah?” Jin moved to pick Mina up from the rocker before reaching for the baby carrier on the table.

I debated the pros and cons of staying in bed and finally decided against it, gently throwing my legs off the edge and raising myself up to a sitting position. I heard vague voices by the front door, Jin’s sweet tones mingling with Jungkook’s slightly gruffer ones.

I heard the door close and the stillness of the apartment was as oppressing as ever. I could hear him quite clearly though. The clink of the keys as they hit the bowl, the small click of the door as he locked it.

i could imagine him, exhausted from the day’s work, briefcase held in one hand while the other tugged on the knot of his tie.

I imagined for a second, what it must have been like for him with Sooah. She was a bright , incredibly cheerful person. Everyone kind of faded into the background when she was around. Sooah had always been the first to smile at a stranger, the first to laugh even if the joke wasn’t funny. The first one to stand up to help someone in need.

I swallowed, clutching the sheets to ground myself.

I guessed that she must’ve always rushed to greet him at the door. I could imagine him wrapping both arms around her waist, drawing her into a hug or even a kiss.

How was your day, Kookie? (I’d heard her call him that, once when they had been at my father’s house for a charity dinner. )

I wondered if perhaps the very sight of her would have taken away all of the day’s exhaustion from him. Perhaps, he would forget all the ways his company had been failing back then at the sight of her beautiful laughing face. Perhaps losing his company hadn’t been as terrifying as losing his job.

And perhaps once he lost her, he just couldn’t bear the thought of losing his life’s work too. And so he’d agreed to meet my father’s demands.

My fingers began trembling a bit .

I could imagine her moving around the house, pregnant and glowing, laughing as he nuzzled into the curve of her belly. Had he perhaps pressed his lips to her skin, whispered sweet endearments to his daughter through the fabric of his wife’s clothes? Had he perhaps loved Mina, deeply? WAs it just his grief that made it hard to be near his wife. Or was it perhaps me? Me holding the baby that should have been in his beautiful wife’s arms.

The wife he had been so madly, deeply in love with.

Love, I thought vacantly.

It wasn’t something I had ever felt, for anyone until I’d began caring for Mina.

But what Jungkook had with his wife was something different wasn’t it?

The love a man had for a woman. Laced with desire, longing and passion. A love that made you put their happiness over your own.

Love like that had never been in the cards for me.

Ever

I was an Omega. Rare and hated and known for being selfish and greedy. People didn’t love my kind. They avoided me. They always assumed I would take advantage of them. My peers growing up had treated me with so much contempt.

The girls would whisper how I was trying to seduce their boyfriends. The boys would call me a tease, even when I stayed far away and did nothing to attract their attention. I’d gotten used to it. It didn’t bother me. it was the way of the world for me. Ad it wasn’t like I could honestly deny some of it.

I looked at handsome alphas and wanted them. I wanted to be held and cherished. To be bought pretty things and cared for. It had taken decades for me to beat that part of mine into submission. To remind myself that if I ever let that part of me out, it would destroy me.

But love? Being in love with someone?

I didn’t know what that could have been like for Jungkook.

Or maybe I had but I couldn’t recognize it because I’d never received it myself. Whatever the cause, it was for me, a fairytale. It was hard to imagine people loving each other so much, to the extent that they would die for each other. ( Jungkook’s words still hung in the back of my mind : that he had wanted to follow her even in death )

Jungkook was right.

I could never know what his loss was like.

Because I would never know what he had lost.

It felt a little like being dipped in an ice cold lake in the middle of winter. My skin broke out in shivers, hair standing on end and I felt my throat go dry so swiftly. I’d never wanted to run away so much. I wrapped a hand sound myself, scooting back on the bed again. I reached for the blanket, wanting to pull it over my head and curl into a ball.

Shut out the world and all the things that didn’t make sense.

“Are you alright?” Jungkook’s voice broke through the haze in my head and I swallowed. He had an alpha’s voice and my body responded even if my mind resisted. It didn’t happen all the time. Jungkook couldn’t control me. But sometimes when I was feeling vulnerable, instincts took over . I was already dropping the blanket and smiling softly.

“Mina’s out for a walk.” I croaked out, surprised at how awful my voice sounded.

I felt the press of something against my fingers and I blinked, staring at the glass of water Jungkook was pressing into my hand.

“Don’t worry, I called them and told them not to come over.” He said quietly , watching me drink with still trembling fingers.

I swallowed and stared at him.

“I... Thank you. “ I said fervently, feeling a few knots come undone in my gut. I couldn’t really stand up to Jungkook’s parents the way I did with Sooah’s parents. Because Jungkook loved them deeply and hurting them would be the same as hurting him.

“There’s a party in a couple of days. It’s my birthday. I’m turning 34. Yugyeom’s organizing the whole thing, so I’m going to hire a babysitter for Mina, because Jin hyung will be there too and you need help caring for her anyway. You can stay home and rest. ” he said .

I scoffed.

“I’m going to come with you.” I said firmly.

Jungkook frowned.

“What?”

I glared at him.

“I’m not letting you go to a party organized by your shit for brains friend, Jungkook. You’ll probably end up getting drunk out of your mind and killing someone and I’m not going to hang around to clean that up. I’m coming to that party and I’m making sure you don’t have more than one drink. “

Jungkook’s frown deepened into a scowl.

Did you ever look at your wife , like this? With so much loathing? I thought stupidly. Or did she only ever get to see the sweet and wonderful side of you? Did she ever annoy you the way i seem to every second of the damn day ? Did you hate certain things about her too? Or was she so perfect that you could only feel love ?

“ I can take care of myself. Its my birthday , I can do whatever the fuck I want.“ He snapped.

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes.

“Not unless you’re a five year old kid in the sandpit, which you’re not. You’re an adult and when you make stupid decisions as an adult, very real people end up paying for it. You’re old enough to know this Jungkook and for once, just listen to me. You can drink, fine. But I’m going to be there and if I see that you’re getting drunk, I’m going to bring you home. You either agree or I’m going to call Yoongi oppa .”

That made him pause.

“Fine. Fuck you.” He snapped, turning on his heel and stalking out of the room. A few seconds later I heard the door to the shower slam shut.

I wanted to follow him and shake some sense into him but before I could decide if it was worth jostling my body, when another sharp pain lanced through my ribs.

Oh great.

I took deep breaths the way Yoongi had taught me. Apparently, pneumonia was a thing that could happen, so i had to breath carefully to reduce the risk of that happening.

The birthday party organized by Yugyeom was going to be a whole entire migraine inducing disaster. I could already feel the headache come on. It still amazed me that Jungkook was friends with him and his cronies.

Yugyeom and his friends were the typical; brain dead alphas who thought themselves superior to all other ranks. Even worse, they viewed omegas as objects: fucktoys to be more precise and I bristled when i remembered the way he had always stared at me.

Well, if he stepped anywhere near me, I would kick him in the teeth.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Jungkook’s mother turned up at home the next day, I wasn’t entirely surprised. I wasn’t surprised but it didn’t make things any more pleasant.

“We’re willing to take Mina for a couple of days if you would both need time to prepare for the party. This is the first big event Jungkook’s holding after Sooah’s passing and we want it to be perfect. As his wife, i hope you’ll do your part.”

Mrs Jeon’s pinched face did nothing for my already frayed temper.

“There’s not much i can do with a cracked rib, mother.” I said politely. It stung, having to call this bitter, cruel woman mother but then, such was life. It was late afternoon and Jungkook was probably sitting in the comfort of his air conditioned office, being flattered and doted on by his smitten secretary while I sat here entertaining his vicious mother.

“Nonsense, you’ve probably just scratched it. I know how you omegas like to exaggerate. “ she waved off my injury easily. “ There are so many details that need to be decided on and its unfair to drop all of those responsibilities on poor yugyeom’s head. Why don’t you go with him and help out a bit?”

The idea of going anywhere with Kim Yugeom was easily the most repugnant thing to me.

“I’m sure he knows Jungkook much better than I do. If i interfered, I’d only be getting in his way.” I said politely.

Mrs. Jeon hummed.

“Well, its good that he’s agreed to the party at least. That woman never let him meet with Yugyeom or his friends when she was around.”

That woman being Jungkook’s late wife.

I felt a sudden fondness for her. Clearly she had also recognized Yugyeom for the absolute pig that he was and kept her husband away from his rotten influence . But unlike with her, Jungkook didn’t actually care about me. So I had no way of stopping him from meeting the idiots. Yugyeom’s family was rich and reputed and it was clear that the Jeons wanted the friendship and the connection. Why else would they keep pushing for it so much?

“Is there any particular reason you’re here, mother?” I said finally, after hearing her babble on and on about caterers and invitations and what not.

“I was hoping to meet Mina...why isn’t she here?”

“I’m not able to care for her well, what with the rib. The doctor has advised me to rest so Jin oppa takes care of her during the day. Jungkook picks her back up on his way back from office. I can send her over to your place with him this weekend.”

“That would be fine i suppose. Have you spoken to the decorators about changing the portraits put up in the house?”

I blinked.

“Sorry?”

“The penthouse, we’ve got it back now right? why don’t you move there. We have a cook and a housekeeper .”]

“this is closer to Jungkook’s office.” I had no idea where the penthouse was and could only hope it was farther way.

Mrs. Jeon frowned.

“This apartment is too small. Not to mention, you still have Sooah’s photos everywhere in this place. Surely that’s not healthy. Get rid of them and put up pictures of you and Jungkook.”

Jungkook’s parents didn’t know that our marriage had an expiry date. i wasn’t sure if this was a good or bad thing. But they saw me as nothing more than a way to get rid of Sooah from the deepest recesses of Jungkook’s mind.

“I’m sure, with time...Jungkook can make that decision by himself. When he’s ready for it.” I said gently, beginning the fresh throb of pain near my temple.

“Nonsense, Heejin. Men won’t ever move on until you force them. Have you considered getting pregnant?”

I jumped about a foot into the air.

“I...what.” I croaked out.

“You need a child too. He mated you. He owes you that. I’m going to tell him that he better do his duty by you.” She said firmly.

“Please don’t.” I shouted, stunned out of my mind. Was this woman even sane?

“Why not?” She frowned looking at me like i was the one being unreasonable.

Why not? Because its barely been four months since he lost his wife of seven years to childbirth. Surely, you don’t think the remedy to that is to have him go through it all over again.

“ Mina is still small, mother. I’m sure we can wait a while. Maybe after she’s one or two.”

Jungkook would probably move on by then. Of course he would. Grief was overwhelming but it was also finite. It did get smaller over time. Easier to cope with. Jungkook would eventually be able to navigate his life around his grief. He would learn to make new connections and who was to say one of those wouldn’t be a compatible match?

So two years from now, there was no reason Jungkook shouldn’t meet another lovely woman, a beta maybe and eventually expand his family. Of course i would be nowhere in the picture at the time. But that was fine.

I remembered something I’d read somewhere, a while back.

If two people are like ships that pass in the night, they meet by chance for a short time , then do not see each other ever again.

Like ships passing by each other in the night, I reminded myself. That's what Jungkook and I were.

“Well, if you think that’s wise.... fine. But now that Jungkook’s doing well, why don’t you entertain people more often? You haven’t had a dinner party here yet, have you?”

And so it went on, over an over for a whole two hours until I was wrung out from sheer exhaustion, my head throbbing and nails having dug half moon indents into my palms from fisting my hands too hard.

By the time i finally closed the door on her face, I couldn’t help but sag against the door, sinking to the floor in a heap, cracked rib be damned.

I glanced up at the solo portrait on the wall. The one my mother in law had wanted gone.

“She must’ve really hated you, huh?” I said casually pulling myself up to my feet and moving to the dining space to stare at her face more closely.

She was dressed in her wedding gown, a fitted mermaid dress with lace and satin detailing. She had a bouquet of white lilies in one hand, elbows bent and the blooms resting on her shoulder while her other hand curved around her slender waist.

Beautiful was an understatement, I thought vacantly.

“ You look like you didn’t put up with people’s bullshit. That’s cool I guess.” I smiled a little. “ You know in another world, we may have been friends.”

I bit my lips.

“Yugyeom was shitty to you too huh? He seems the type. i’m glad you kept Jungkook away from him. I wish you’d somehow help get him away again. He doesn’t listen to me. Thinks I’m trying to control him or something. ”

It was ridiculous. What was i doing.. Why was i talking to a framed picture on the wall. God.

But now that I’d started, I couldn’t quite stop.

“About what happened with Jungkook... I don’t want you to think i was seducing him or anything. And when i said that I hated him calling your name when we... well you know why i said it right? It wasn’t anything personal...i was just pissed. I don’t enjoy the sex by the way... I don’t think he does either but he’s an alpha and you know how it is…they need that release or they kind of lose their mind .. So trust me we both hate the principle of it.... but at least he cums and well I don’t. He’s never made me cum. That should say something about how we feel about each other.......”

“Uh.. Should I come back later?” The voice near the doorway was so unexpected my heart jumped right to my throat and I screamed, stumbling a bit to the side.

Min Yoongi stood framed by the door, one hand wrapped around a bouquet of flowers and the other clutching his bag and stethoscope. He still had his white coat on over his shirt and slacks, hair mussed like he’d run his finger through it.

It took me a second to remember that Yoongi had a key to the house.

Another second to remember exactly what I’d been doing when he came inside.

Good God.

Had he heard the part where I’d talked about Jungkook not making me cum? Surely not? Oh Please no.

“Jungkook told me to check on you. That you couldn’t sleep last night? Are you in a lot of pain?”

Jungkook and I had shared the bed in his room last night and I had apparently, tossed and turned and whimpered through the night in pain. Or so Jungkook claimed.

“Uh... I’m not sure. He said so... so..”

“you guys sleep together right?” Yoongi asked casually, taking his coat off. I stared at the way the material of the shirt strained over his shoulders, my throat just a little dry.

Yoongi smelled so ridiculously good. He was a doctor and he was so handsome and kind to me. The attraction would have been there even if i had been a beta but as an omega, the urge to just fling myself at him and beg him to make me his, it was kind of horrifying.

Tamping down that part of me, I gave him a casual shrug, heart still pounding.

“Yeah. There’s just two bedrooms here and one is Mina’s nursery. So ...” I finished awkwardly, watching him move around and place his bag on the table before unwinding the stethoscope, placing it around his collar.

He gave me a small smile.

“I’ll just take a quick look and check how your breathing sounds. that okay?” He asked gently.

“Oh... sure. You need me to take my shirt off?” I asked curiously.

He gave me a quick little smirk.

“Not for medical reasons no.” He winked.

I felt blood rush to my face along with guilt. What was I doing? This was Jungkook’s best friend!! His hyung. Someone he trusted and I was his....

His what?

Nothing. I was Jungkook’s nothing. When was the last time someone had flirted with me . Someone who wasn’t a grade A creep.

Yoongi moved closer, sitting down on the kitchen stool and beckoned me to come stand between his thighs. i moved, achingly aware of how much more potent his scent was up close. He looked up at me through sooty black lashes, a small smirk on his lips, feline eyes warm and open .

“Put your hands on my shoulders, yeah?” He prompted.

I hesitated, fingers shaking just a little before reaching out to rest on this shirt. I kept the touch feather light , the softness of his shirt the only thing I could feel.

He hummed and bending down to lightly tug the hem of my shirt out of the waistline of my jeans. I bit my lips to stop myself from squirming.

He glanced up , eyes meeting mine and holding my gaze.

“You good?”

“Uhuhbuh.” I stuttered and he grinned wider, pulling the fabric up to the curve of my breasts. He lightly ran his finger tips over the bruised skin , humming thoughtfully .

“You’ll be fine in a few weeks. Hang on.” He pulled back, plugging the steth in his hear before holding the other end up to my chest. He pressed it against my skin, just before the underwire of my bra and it was unexpectedly cold .

I jumped, fingers curling on his shoulder and squeezing down.

“Hey.. what’s wrong?” Yoongi whispered, hands reaching for my waist, gently holding me steady and I flushed. He looked genuinely worried , lips turned down and brows furrowed and i felt absolutely stupid.

“Sorry. Sorry.... It’s nothing.. i just.. it’s a little cold.” I laughed nervously and his gaze softened.

One hand still curved around my waist, he brought the diaphragm up to his mouth, holding my gaze as he gently breathed warm air all over it.

My throat went instantly dry and i had to swallow. He pressed it against my chest again and this time it was so much warmer. .

“Better?” He prompted and i nodded, guilt and discomfort churning in my stomach. What was i doing? I had no business indulging him. i had no business indulging any man. Ever.

I looked away, pulling my hands up off his shoulder, pushing his hand off my hip as well . He didn’t say anything his shoulders stiffened at the subtle rejection.

A mantle of awkward tension settled over us, a small thundercloud of regret and that threatened to rain misery all over us. I wanted to kick myself. He was older than Jungkook by four years. Thirty eight years old.

Did he have a girlfriend? Oh god, what if he was martried?

Nausea threatened.

“Your breathing sounds fine. Are you practicing those breathing exercises , I taught you?” He asked casually and I nodded . I couldn’t trust myself to speak.

“Hey...” He said gently and I flinched.

“I’m sorry.” I blurted out. “ I didn’t mean to lead you on or tease you in any way and I’m sorry if i came on to you ...”

“What?! Heejin, stop. That’s bullshit. You never did any such thing. This was all me.” He said firmly.

I stared at him.

“I know you’re married but... your marriage, its going to end right? Eventually.”

I made to step back but he grabbed my waist again, this time a few inches over my jean and his fingers on the bare skin of my midriff made me want to melt. He had long slender fingers, a surgeons hands, and the press of it on my skin felt so foreign and gentle and different and good.

“We don’t have to do anything. I just... I thought we could get to know each other. Over coffee or dinner.”

I wanted to sob at the unfairness of it all.

Because Yoongi was beautiful and handsome and so good and so much more than I could ever even dream of, but he was and would always be so intricately woven with Jungkook and with Jungkook’s life. And I couldn’t imagine anything more messy than sticking around and watching Jungkook and his daughter forget me and move on.

“It’s.... probably a terrible idea. “ I said roughly, shaking my head. “ Its the kind of idea that would never end well.”

“Are you sure? Because unlike Jungkook, i could probably make you cum.” He winked and I felt my face flame red.

“Oh God...” I hissed, stumbling back. This time he let me move away, merely chuckling and reaching for his coat and bag .

“I won’t bother you again. But the offer’s always open, yeah?” He smiled again. “ You need me to send over more pain meds?”

I shook my head mutely, begging him to just leave already.

He nodded and held his hand up in a casual wave before walking out of the door. I collapsed on the stool and dropped my head into my arms , groaning.

What had i gotten myself into.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I didn’t actually see Jungkook for a couple of days. The meds knocked me out and he worked overtime, only arriving after I’d slept off and leaving before i woke up. Jin brought Mina around everyday and there was something absolutely exhilarating about watching her clutch at her little teething toys and rattles, gummy smile peeking out every few minutes.

On a whim, i told Jin what had happened with Yoongi and much to my surprise he actually laughed.

“About time . He’s been pining for what three years now?”

I gaped at him, completely thrown.

“I..he.. what.” I couldn’t quite wrap my mind around what I had heard.

“He saw you at that art exhibition you put up in the Hyatt . By the way, don’t you paint anymore?”

I flushed.

I had no proper response to that. What could i say? That my painting had just been yet another way to control me, only appreciated by father when he could use it to make more money. And that part of my marriage contract included that I wouldn’t paint or make any money off my art for the duration that I stayed with Jungkook.

It was just yet another way my father reminded me that he controlled him. I didn’t fight him because he would win anyway. And the only thing he loved more than controlling people was winning battles that were always rigged in his favor. i wouldn’t give him that satisfaction. I would soldier through this awful marriage and at the end of it , i would disappear without a trace.

I shook my head vaguely and Jin hummed.

“Yoongi doesn’t understand art but he hung around the entire nine hours , morning to night . Three whole days of him just pretending to look at the artwork while secretly making moon eyes at you.”

I could only stare in sheer disbelief.

“i... i never knew.”

“How could you? Yoongi’s idea of courting is pretending he doesn’t exist and fading into the background. “ Jin rolled his eyes. “ He tried approaching your father to officially court you but your old man shut that down rather brutally.”

I swallowed .

“I... I’m sorry.” i said feeling foolish. Three years...what? I couldn’t think beyond the shock of the information.

“Does Jungkook know?” I asked , scared.

Jin shook his head.

“Like I said Yoongi never made it known . He was afraid it would make life difficult for you. He didn’t want any rumors around because everyone knew your father was looking to offer you to someone rich and young. Yoongi was what , fifteen years older? That’s quite a difference.”

“Thirty eight isn’t old.” I said sharply and Jin’s brow went up.

“Oh?” He questioned teasingly and I flushed.

“Jungkook is eleven years older. What’s another four more years?” I shrugged.

“You’re interested then.” Jin said thoughtfully. I recoiled, shaking my head quickly.

“I...what? No. No I’m not. “

“Why not? If it isn’t the age, then there’s no reason to say no. Yoongi is handsome , settled and a great guy all around and besides, your time with Jungkook is finite right?”

“I... I won’t cheat on him.” I said firmly. “ i can’t... I... besides, Jungkook and I... we’re... we have sex.” My ears turned red, “ I can’t do that with two guys... I’m not like that. “

Jin nodded.

“Its alright.. Heejinah ...I’m sorry if i pressured you or anything. You don’t have to do anything. I know you have a lot on your plate right now. Yoongi probably got carried away . More than likely he’s going to panic and avoid you for a year just to recover.” He laughed and I smiled reluctantly.

“He’s nice I don’t want to hurt him. “ I said softly.

“ Sometimes that’s just inevitable . People get hurt no matter what we choose.” Jin gave me a sad little smile. “ Jungkook is just as nice a gy as Yoongi. If not better. He’s just...not in the right headspace to show that side of himself to you. I wish you’d known him before Sooah. He used to be this...playful and funny kid. We all went out of our way to keep him safe. Sooah was just as amazing. Usually , we try to find flaws in people our friends date right? Well trust me Sooah was hard to dislike .” He laughed, eyes misting over as his gaze landed on her portrait over the mantle.

I followed his gaze and swallowed.

“Do you think Jungkook will ever get over her?” I asked simply.

Jin hesitated.

“Someday? Probably yes. But it won’t be easy. He’s ... He feels things deeply. He always has. He loved her deeply, he cared for her deeply and so its only obvious that he’s going to feel the loss of her presence very deeply too.”

I nodded.

“Its his birthday tomorrow.” I said softly. “ I have a gift for him. Well its not a gift from me, but a gift nonetheless. But I’m not sure if I should give it to him.”

Jin gave me a surprised look.

“What do you mean?”

I smiled bitterly.

“Just that sometimes fate can be very cruel when it chooses its players. I’m forever wondering if he would be better off or worse without me in the picture and I just can’t decide.”

“Different. He would just be different.” Jin said calmly.

There was nothing else i could say to that.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yugyeom had rented out the rooftop restaurant in one of the poshest Hotels in Seoul and although the party was a pool party, I hadn’t bothered dressing for it. I wore a plain sequined top and burgundy skirt that fanned out around me knees.

The place was teeming with people his age , friends acquaintances and business partners. The women had changed into bright , skimpy bikinis and lounged about in the brightly lit pool tossing a ball around .

The older people were being hosted by the Jeons on the lower level of the restaurant in a posh ballroom. Jungkook and i would have to visit them later but for now I was content sipping a mocktail, leaning against the bar while Hoseok and Lisa flanked me on either side, pointing out who was sleeping with who.

Jungkook was in the pool with Yugyeom and Jimin and it was impossible to tear my eyes away from him. He looked happy almost, laughing and shaking water out of his hair as he moved around with the strength and agility of an Olympic athlete. Yoongi was in the pool as well and on the opposite team with Jin and Namjoon....and it was increasingly obvious that the half a dozen bikini clad women were there simply for an excuse to touch the handsome alphas as they worked up a sweat.

“Jungkook is such a competitive bastard.” Hoseok laughed. “But I don’t know what’s gotten into Yoongi today. i can’t believe he’s in the pool. “

“Of his own volition. “ Lisa added. “ usually someone has to strip him and toss him in.

Yoongi kept glancing at me every few minutes. It was impossible to miss. It was also impossible to miss that at least three of the six women in the pool were trying to get into his pants.

I sighed and turned back to the bartender asking for a refill. when i turned back around, Jungkook and Yugyeom were climbing out of the pool and Jin was moving to the opposite side to take their place with Jimin.

“Jungkook and i are going to go get a drink. Anything for you , beautiful?” Yugyeom reached out to touch me and I almost fell in my haste to get away from him.

“Keep your hands off me.” I snapped . Jungkook frowned.

“No need to be rude, Heejin , he was just being polite.” He said softly and i smelt the alcohol on his breath.

“Don’t drink too much Jungkook.”

“Oh come on, beautiful., Its his birthday let him live a little...” Yugyeom laughed and I glared at him.

“I’d rather have him live longer “ I snapped. “ And that can’t happen if you keep trying to give him alcohol poisoning.”

Yugyeom rolled his eyes.

“Is she always this dramatic, Jungkook-ah.” Yugyeom laughed. Jungkook didn’t laugh but he gave me a look that said, ‘ please don’t make a scene’ and I bit my lips.

I didn’t want to ruin his night. He looked ....so close to a normal person tonight and whether I liked it or not Yugyeom had contributed to that. The music was apparently Jungkook’s favorites only, the pool because he loved volleyball in the water and the buffet had all his favorite foods. Yugyeom had gone out of his way to make the party perfect and i suddenly felt like the troll stomping on Jungkook’s happiness.

Swallowing my own instinct to drag my husband away from the alpha who had his arms around him, I turned away and walked off to the pool. Yoongi’s face lit up when he saw me.

“Hey there, angel. Here to watch me kick some ass? “ He cupped his hands in the water, before tossing a handful of water at me. I blinked in surprise, laughing a little.

“I’m just here to cheer Jin oppa. “ I said impishly, moving over to the lounge chair near his side of the pool. Yoongi’s pout was adorable and I couldn’t help but laugh.

Maybe I could stop worrying about Jungkook for a while. Yugyeom wasn’t dangerous. Even if he got a little drunk, I was still here. So were all of our friends.

It would be fine.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

it wasn’t fine.

An hour later, I found Jungkook in a room filled with cigarette smoke and light music, yugeyom and his friends scattered around the place with a few beautiful women lounging about on their laps.

“You said one drink Yugyeom...he’s completely out of his mind.” I said shrilly staring at where Jungkook sat on the couch , shirtless and laughing as some girl in a bikini ran her fingers up and down his arm. She had one leg draped over his thigh. I felt sick at the very sight of it.

its because he’s drunk , I told myself. He’s drunk and can’t consent, that’s why you feel sick, nothing else.

Yugyeom gave me an easy smile.

“Guy just wants to have some fun. Reina’s a friend of mine. She’ll take good care of him don’t worry. She’s the birthday gift i got him. “ He leered.

I resisted the urge to punch him in the face.

Glaring at him,

“Jungkook, we’re leaving. Come on.” I made to move towards him but a hand shot out, gripping my wrist like a vice.

“Not so fast baby.... I already paid for her. You can’t just waltz in here and take away her livelihood.” He sneered. “ Unless you want to take her place. This is a special bar you know. All these lovelies, they have something in common with you.”

I stared at him frowning.

“What does that mean?”

“I hired them from an omega escort agency...you know because that’s all you omegas are useful for anyway.”

I rolled my eyes, yanking on my wrist.

“You and your medieval ideals can go to hell. I’m going home. Jungkook!!” I yelled again and this time Jungkook turned eyes landing on me.

“Heejin?” He slurred.

“We need to go home, Jungkook.” I said firmly.

“Now?” He blinked. I nodded.

“Yes now.” I made to move away but this time Yugyeom wrapped both arms around my waist, pinning me to his body. Pain , sharp and unbearable shot up my ribs and I whimpered. He was squeezing too hard and God what if the cracked rib just snapped?

Panic began setting in and I yelped.

“Let me go you bastard.” I struggled to get away, staring in disbelief at my husband .

Jungkook was standing but he swayed dangerously. There was no clarity there and his eyes were hooded. He was drunk. Really, really drunk.

“Jungkook tell him to let me go!!” I yelled , trying to tamp down the panic that was rising up my throat.

“Don’t worry Kook. Just gonna ask her to wait outside for a while. Why don’t you finish your conversation with Reina.. i’ll entertain your wife for a while.” He drawled and i felt my entire body go ice cold at that.

Jungkook was blinking rapidly, the words clearly not registering and genuine terror began to bleed into my veins. Jungkook couldn’t even fathom that i was in genuine danger here, let alone help me. Oh God, why had i come alone? Where were the others??

Yugyeom held me tighter and i swallowed a groan . My ribs felt like they were on fire.

“Let’s take this somewhere private, Heejin?” He whispered into my neck and i couldn’t believe it. Yugyeom was drunk yes, but was this idiot also insane?

“Wait...no.. Yugeyom don’t be a fucking idiot. If you touch me, that’s fucking rape...You can go to prison for that .” I shouted, trying to drill some sense into his head. He wasn’t going to risk prison to make a point was he??

“Not if you seduce me angel...and you’re going to... Or I’ll just tell people you did...same difference , right?” he whispered.

And then he began dragging me off to the corner and my eyes fell on a side door leading out of the room .

If you let him take you there this is going to become frighteningly real, a voice screamed in my head and I inhale deeply, ready to scream loud enough to get the attention of everyone in the damned building.

The door opened just as I opened my mouth and I froze, watching Mrs Jeon walk into the lounge, looking lost.

“What is this place?” She muttered out loud looking around and the arms around me fell away so fast, I crashed to the floor.

“Heejin-ah!” Yoongi’s voice came from right behind her and I flinched, willing my shaking legs to stop trembling.

“Mrs. Jeon...” I muttered, voice strained and ribs throbbing.

“Heejin? What is going on here? Where’s my son?”

“Fuck... Jungkook-ah...” Yoongi moved to get him and I took a deep steadying breath.

Years ago , I’d taken a self defence class and one thing i’d definitely enjoyed learning was how to throw a punch. And It wasn’t something i’d forgotten.

Planting my feet firmly , i lightly rotated my hips, a subtle shift, before engaging my core , drawing all the fury and helpless rage inside me into my fist. I pulled my shoulders in and took a deep breath. Punch past your target , i told myself. You’re not just going to break his jaw you’re going to put him in the hospital tonight.

“Mrs. Jeon, Jungkook had a great time toni-” His voice was all i needed to hear to know exactly where his mouth was behind me.

i relaxed my muscles as i threw the punch, contracting them just as my fist landed on Kim Yugyeom’s face.

The satisfying sound of flesh on bone felt like music to my ears and Yugyeom’s sharp cry of sheer agonizing pain even sweeter.

He crashed to the floor in a heap and I could feel my fist throb like hell. I was going to bruise so badly. But it was worth it.

“That was for telling me that you were going to rape me and tell everyone that i seduced you.” I said calmly.

Yoongi let out a noise of disbelief.

“What the actual fuck.....” He shouted.

“Yugyeom what the fuck man? Are you out of your damned mind?” One of his friends yelled. Yugyeom merely groaned.

He couldn’t answer, blood trickling down his chin and hands cradling his jaw, whimpers falling out of his mouth. My own fist throbbed like hell so the damage had to be significant.

Mrs Jeon looked horrified and when she opened her mouth i quickly held a hand up.

“I’m not doing this. Not tonight. “ I said calmly. Jungkook was quiet, the way he always got when he was drunk and I groaned.

It was going to be a long night.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“We need to talk.” I said calmly and Jungkook swallowed.

“Heejin, I’m -”

“Hear me out first Jungkook.” I said sharply. “ I don’t need your apology, it means nothing to me because it means nothing to you. You’re not sorry that you didn’t help me last night. You’re just angry that you had to help at all. You don’t give a fuck about me. I know that and I’m okay with that. What I’m not okay with is you getting drunk to the point that you don’t even recognize that someone’s in need of help. “

I took a deep breath.

“If you did it to me, you’ll do it to your daughter too. Yugyeom is going to get you drunk someday when you’re taking care of Mina by yourself and then when she needs you, what are you going to do?”

“You’re right... I shouldn’t have gotten that drunk -”

“I’m only here , talking to you , because of your daughter. If it was just you, I wouldn’t give a damn because you’re an adult and if you make your bed , you can just lie on it. It wouldn’t bother me. But Mina...she’s not capable of making the right choices. She need a father who can make the right choices, because whatever shitty choice you make, your daughter is going to be there along for the ride whether she wants to or not. You drive your car off a cliff tomorrow , she’s going to be there in the car seat laughing because she doesn’t know the consequences of your choices. “

I clenched my fists to keep my voice even. To stop myself from yelling.

“I have something for you. “

I grabbed the brown paper wrapped canvas from under the table.

“It’s a painting . Your wife commissioned me to make this a year ago when she got pregnant.”

He froze so eerily still that it made me nervous.

“At first , i wasn’t sure if i should be giving it to you because well... because i was marrying you ... I wasn’t sure that it would be right, coming from me ...because I was taking your wife’s place after all...”

i laughed.

“Now I know that's just bullshit. I don’t have a place in your life. I’m a nobody. This isn’t about me. This is about you. She told me back then that you were nervous about being a father. That was all she said. And she wanted me to pain this. “ I held the canvas out to him.

“You can see it. I’m going to go stay with Jin oppa for a few days. I want you to see it. It shows how your wife saw you. The kind of father she hoped you would be. I want you to see it and make a choice. You can either get the help you need. “ i took a deep breath, “ Or I’m going to tell Yoongi that you’re incompetent to be a father. He’ll file charges , “ I had to close my eyes to get the next words out, “ and you will lose custody of your daughter.”

Jungkook inhaled sharply, hands curling into fists on his knees.

“i hope you make the right choice.”

I wrapped both my arms around myself and walked out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Author’s note. :

I’m so exhausted I’ll tag people tomorrow!

.@girlinthemikrokosmos @xius-exos @sugainfireslex @yunkichiee@kpopstudybee @ephyraaaa @peachoney9795 @ggukkieland @veronawrites @blr1004 @tinyhoagiepartylover @btsis7okay@squishyjk @itsdingdong @emmmui @honeeybunneey @yeonkiminnie

@just-me-and-myselfs @delicate-snow-flake @kpop-lore @beautifulvirgobutterfly @sumzysworld @btsmylife21 @teresaisla

.@melrosaeparker @taestannie @dchimminie @ meraki--life @somewhereinthestarss @mawwnsterr @kookiesbreaky @chimchoom

#jungkook smut #jungkook fics #jeon jungkook #bts fanfics #bts smut fic #bts smut #bts fics #bts #jungkook #bts scenarios

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