hiihi !! ive been loving all the stuuf yoube been wirting latley its so good :^D i ws wondering if i ciuld have some hcs ,or just a onrshot either or i dont mind, of reader geeting sick and mumza nd dadza take care of them ?? bc i lovr mr and mrs minecraft <33 liek like reader like "ahh im finr mr minecraft" and they have 102° fever Nd have a runny nose and mr minecatft is liek "mmm no i dont thnik so m8" nd yaeh !! they/them pronouns but i thnk uve benn doing that arleady - :^) anon

sickly

hiihi !! ive been loving all the stuuf yoube been wirting latley its so good :^D i ws wondering if i ciuld have some hcs ,or just a onrshot either or i dont mind, of reader geeting sick and mumza nd dadza take care of them ?? bc i lovr mr and mrs minecraft <33 liek like reader like "ahh im finr mr minecraft" and they have 102° fever Nd have a runny nose and mr minecatft is liek "mmm no i dont thnik so m8" nd yaeh !! they/them pronouns but i thnk uve benn doing that arleady - :^) anon

:^) anon my beloved;;;;; i love your brain. this could go two ways depending on whether you’re staying with phil or if you guys are online so i went with your staying with him. i also did a one shot but if you want hcs i hv no problem writing some :) i hope this is good!

cw: cursing

mumza and dadza take care of you:

  it had finally happened. while covid wasn't fully over just yet, many had gotten the vaccine and conventions were opening up again. which meant two things: meetups and twitchcon. finally, you could meet some of your supporters and see your friends.

  “mom, are we almost there?” your mom was driving you to the airbnb you’d be staying at with a few of the other dream smp members. at first, you assumed you’d all be staying in separate hotel rooms. but, this way, you could spend more time with friends, save money, and your mom wouldn’t have to be with you the whole time. there had already been many long conversations between philza and your mom to make sure you’d be safe staying with everyone.

  “yes, sweetie. almost there. we’re just two minutes closter than when you asked earlier.” ok, sue you, maybe you were a bit excited. but really, who could blame you? making in person friends had never been easiest, so the majority of your friendship were with people online. not being able to see or meet anyone for so long had been excruciatingly painful. 

  within ten minutes, you had finally arrived at the airbnb. quickly jumping out you ran to the door, obnoxiously ringing the doorbell. through the door, you heard an accented voice yell out, “i’m coming, i’m coming!”. at this point you were springing up and down on your tippy-toes, ready to spring out of your skin.

  the door opened and you were greeted by a very tired and annoyed looking wilbur, “hello?”.

`   “WILBURRRR!!!” you were screaming in his face (unintentionally), waking him up from his drowsiness. you launched yourself in his arms, not paying attention to your mother’s bewildered expression. you quickly let go of him and shoved past him, “i’m gonna go say hi to everyone!” distantly you heard wilbur begin to talk to your mother, explaining what you guys were doing.

  while running around you said hi to tommy, tubbo, ranboo, eret, fundy, niki, techno, phil and kristin. the others were either staying in another airbnb or in their own hotel rooms. after about thirty minutes, wilbur had finally stopped talking to your mom.

  “yes, ma’am. i can promise you they’ll be completely safe. you have absolutely nothing to worry about.” wilbur was calmly talking with your mother, looking more and more tired by the minute.

  “alright. thank you.” your mother called you over. “come give me a hug and say bye!” slowly dragging your limbs over, you let her hug you. behind you you could hear wilbur and phil laughing at you.

  “bye mom…” she was holding onto you tightly, petting down your hair.

  “oh, sweetie, i love you so much. i’m so happy you found something you're passionate about and made so many lovely friends while doing so.” as much as you loved your mom, the small snickers behind you were getting quite embarrassing. you could hear that tommy had joined in on the laughing. 

  “... i love you too, mom. can you let go now?” you tried pulling back, but all she did was pull you closer.

  “oh, but i just don’t wanna let you go. i love you so much, you know that right?”

  “i know, mom. i love you too. but you’ve gotta get home and i have to unpack and get ready for meeting with fans tomorrow.” you finally got her to pull away, “i love you mom, okay? thank you for letting me do this.”

  “oh, i love you too, sweetie.” and with that, your mom left. after watching her pull out of the driveway and down the street, you whipped around.

  “not. a. single. word.” you stared dead in the boy’s eyes, seeing just how much wilbur was about to burst out laughing.

  “what? personally, i think it’s very sweet.” tommy was smiling, purposely pissing you off. “so sweet, how much your mom loves you.”

  “shut your fucking mouth, tommy.” you stared deadpan at him and began walking inside and over to the kitchen.

  “what? i didn’t say anything wrong! i was just simply commenting on your very, very sweet relationship with your mother.”

  kristin moved forward to talk to you, “for what it’s worth, i do thing you hae a very sweet relationship with your mom.”

  “thank you. you’re the only good one in this house, kristin minecraft.” with that she laughed, and you all continued on with your evening. after staying up late watching old youtube videos, you all went to bed. in the morning you would have your first day of three at twitchcon, meeting fans and other creators alike. 

  for around 10 hours, you stood in booths signing fanart, prints, notebooks, and the like. meeting so many different people was eye opening, just learning who supported you. at the end of the day everyone went to a restaurant to eat dinner after so long.

  “this food… is so… fucking good.”

  “agreed.” you and the rest of the so-called ‘bench trio’ were eating at what wilbur had deemed the ‘kiddy table’. after eating so much food you were all tired. the rest of your friends had already left, walking back to the airbnb. when it was finally time to leave the restaurant, it was pouring rain.

  “WHY IS THE RAIN SO COLD IT’S LITERALLY SUMMER”

  after running home you had gone to sleep while the others had changed and taken showers. after sleeping for around ten hours, you had finally woken up. frankly, you felt like dogshit. you could barely breathe out of your stuffy nose and your head felt like it had been shoved full of wet cotton balls.

  instead of staying in bed, you got up and tried to get ready. on the way downstairs to get food and see who was making so much noise, you fell face first down the stairs. “owwwww…”

  hearing a ruckus, phil and kristin left the kitchen, where they were making pancakes. “holy shit! are you alright, mate?”

  pushing phil over, kristin walked over to you, “obviously they’re not okay phil! the poor kid is lying on the floor.”

  slowly getting up, you try to reassure both of them that you’re okay. “no, no, no, don’t worry. i am perfectly okay.” while you don’t know exactly how you sound, based on the expression on phil’s face, you don't think you sound very good.

  “uh, yeah, how about no. you sound like you’ve draken a whale bottle of vodka.” phil walked over to you and grabbed you by the arm, trying to hold you up.

  “i’m fineeee”

  “no, your fucking not. you’re burning up.” phil looked at you, angrily. “you need to go to bed.”

  “but i don’t wannaaaaa. i feel fineeee.” you felt like crying, for absolutely no reason. with that, you passed out on the floor.

  phil and kristin somehow managed to get you back up the stairs and into bed. once you were safely in your room, with no risk of cracking your skull open, phil took your temperature. “mate, your temperature is at nearly 102°. you’re lucky i don’t take you to a hospital.” he started at you, disapprovingly.

  “i’m sorryyyyy dadza. are you mad at me?” in your deluded state you pouted at him, like a child.

  “no, i’m not mad at you. just disappointed. you should’ve known not to do that. you’re old enough to know when you’re sick.” he stared at you with a disapproving look.

  “but that’s even worseeeeee” you felt like balling your eyes out. out of embarrassment, you tried to hide under your blanket. “can you tell mumza i’m sorry for worrying her?”

  above you, you heard phil laugh. “it’s not that big a deal, kid. i’m just upset. you could’ve seriously hurt yourself. i was worried.”

  “you were worried about me? awwwww, i love you too dadza.” you moved your head out of the blankets, smiling at him with dried tears and sweat on your face.

  “yeah, yeah. now shut up and go to bed.”

  kristin walked in, hearing what he said. “phil, don’t bully the kid. they already feel like shit.” out of the corner of your eye, you saw her look over to phil and smile at him.

  “i’m not doing anything, swear on my life!” he put his hands up in defense of himself, making you laugh.

  turning away from him, she directed her next question towards you. “how you feeling, kid? took quite a tumble there.” she smiled at you and ushed your hair out of your face.

  “i’m sorry for worrying youuuuuu. i love you, mumza. promise.”

  laughing, she leaned down to kiss you on the head. “love you too, kid. now, want me to sit with you and we can all watch some netflix or something?”

  you silently nodded and the two of them joined you on the bed, not caring very much if they got sick. after not even an hour, you all passed out.

  a few hours later, everyone returned back from the convention. let’s just say wilbur now had some very valuable blackmail.

hope you like it! this was so wholesome i- wfowcsjvri

i want parents like dadza and mumza now

⭐—INTERACTION CALL!!    Feel free to refer to THIS PAGE for some of the default             crossover examples if you want to play,          but are unsure how to kickstart interaction!

ᴡʀɪᴛᴛᴇɴ ғᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘʀɪɴᴄᴇss

🚀—“Jｏｉｎ ｗｉｔｈ ｙｅｓｔｅｒｄａｙ'ｓ ｆｏｅ ｔｏ ｓｍａｓｈ ｆａｔｅ,

                                                    💫 — ａｎｄ ｇｒａｂ ｔｏｍｏｒｒｏｗ'ｓ ｐａｔｈ

                                                                             ｗｉｔｈ ｏｕｒ ｏｗｎ ｈａｎｄｓ!”  

  Time had made the Earth beautiful; more beautiful than he had ever known it to be. Perhaps closer to its older beauty - in times before the Spiral Wars, the Beastman regime. Centuries before, when the nurturing soil had more than death planted beneath, strewn across its regions - before; closer to now. Now, it was that peace reigned across the world; flowers cradled its continents in a softer, fragrant embrace. Time, the gentle hand of an enigmatic man who watched over it, and also, by a dream held long ago by a most precious, compassionate individual. Viral indulged in the soothing sensation of a warm breeze against his skin; a feeling so absent in the perpetual stillness of space-travel. 

   He had returned to Earth, only briefly, like always. The Galactic Spiral Peace Summit had carried forth, met success, and was well into a restful phase of maintenance. Better minds than his were more adept at processing the subtleties of negotiation and regulation. But he loved his mission as a goodwill ambassador; and he loved his station as captain of the Chouginga Daigurren.  

  That vessel was a bridge for him, as much as it was a bridge to the races and worlds who would find refuge in all that it represented. Once, his creator and king had possessed it. And later, his first human comrade commanded its helm, as well. Now, he did. The weight of its venerated flag was constant upon his back, and within his heart. ‘Simon the Digger’ was not the only one serving an eternal promise.  

   Viral had come back to Earth for two reasons: the first, he had reports to issue directly to the President. And, it was the anniversary of a fated union, long since passed, and ever mourned. Ensconced within the Beastman’s heavy forearm was a small bouquet of wildflowers encircling an arrangement of blush-pink blooms, not unlike camellias. And not unlike camellias, they harbored a simple sentiment, “I miss you.”  

  Time had passed. And immortal, he was prepared for that. ...wasn’t he?

   After all, this was not a reality so far from that of a thousand realities he would likely face. He would have to get used to it, he mused... standing before lovingly adorned memorials, dreamlike in their serenity - representing a place once occupied by some irreplaceable, unforgettable existence.

  The Beastman nestled the arrangement among so many others, their subtle affinity nearly lost among the sea of blossoms and subtle illumination.   

   ❝Nia.❞

   He said her name from time to time, speaking to her idly, to note the little things she might have liked.... and to keep the sound familiar on his tongue. At just the surface of his immortal life, there were already names that drifted strangely in the air when spoken, as if by syllable, the sound understood that there would be no one to answer.

  ❝This year, as well, we will be watching over the peace that your hands built.

                   This year as well...❞

                        "We will miss your smile.”

   His first memory of her - two or three lifetimes ago, for them. She was just a child then, a diminutive human, unlike any he had seen. Hair spilling in every direction, it moved with her down a hallway; weightless, dreamlike. He had been a youngling, then, himself - but, created for war, he was growing much faster than she. Scarcely even a cadet, he’d caught a glimpse of Nia by accident, by chance. Feline eyes caught by mistake, on the soft, flower-like gaze of Lordgenome’s youngest. At the time, Viral did not have a comprehension of the concept of “kindness.”   It was only later,  he realized that was the warmth that overtook him in those silent seconds. He simply knew that he had been transfixed, easily stilled, by the reflective colors that stained her eyes.

                                                  “This is the daughter of my King.”

                                               “This is the Princess of we Beastmen.”

    And so their destinies remained seemingly bound by that fleeting moment. Even now, Viral wouldn’t concede the time or the distance between them, now. He smiled in recollection, in front of her memorial, and spoke nothing of endings nor partings.

   ❝Don’t you think it’s beginning to resemble you? 

                                               This world that you loved.❞

  Wildflowers sprawled from one end of his vision, to the other. Vibrant shades, muted shades, tall blossoms and lush carpets of velvet hues - the previously barren Earth drank in each memory of her that passed Simon’s rough hand, and offered captivating blooms in return. Viral had watched the quiet conversation between the two, over the elapsing years, and through them, he continued to learn some of the deepest, softest lessons a Human could teach another.

  Suddenly, a low sound pulsed in his ear, and the Beastman touched the communication device that hooked around the taper of his ear to initiate the transmission between himself and those aboard the Chouginga, distantly orbiting the Earth from above, 

  ❝Secure. Go ahead, Bridge.❞

『"ᴄᴀᴘᴛᴀɪɴ. 

  ɪ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ʏᴏᴜ ᴅɪsᴀʟʟᴏᴡ ᴄᴏᴍᴍᴜɴɪᴄᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ᴡʜɪʟᴇ ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ ᴠɪsɪᴛɪɴɢ ғᴀᴍɪʟʏ, ʙᴜ-”』

   ❝It’s fine. We just finished our talk.❞

    He bowed his head towards Nia’s stone grave. It was an unyielding claim that one called “Nia Teppelin” had existed, had lived on that world, and had graced it with gentle strength, and compassion. It was just one testament to the woman who had instilled a unity between the Beastman remnants and the Human victors; one gesture to the woman who fought an impossible battle to overturn the forces opposed to love and life, It represented the peace that reigned in place of tyranny, of grief. The memorial was one testament of endless reverence for Earth’s last little Princess. 

      He was another. 

   ❝I’m about to re-launch back to you.❞

『"ᴀᴄᴛᴜᴀʟʟʏ, sɪʀ, ʏᴏᴜ ᴍɪɢʜᴛ ᴡᴀɴᴛ ᴛᴏ ʜᴏʟᴅ ᴏғғ ᴏɴ ʀᴇᴛᴜʀɴɪɴɢ ᴊᴜsᴛ ʏᴇᴛ. ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ's ᴀɴ ᴀɴᴏᴍᴀʟᴏᴜs ʀᴇᴀᴅɪɴɢ ᴏɴ ᴛʜᴇ sᴜʀғᴀᴄᴇ. ᴡᴇ'ᴠᴇ ʀᴜɴ ᴀ ᴅɪᴀɢɴᴏsᴛɪᴄ sᴡᴇᴇᴘ ᴀɴᴅ ᴄʀᴏss-ᴀɴᴀʟʏᴢᴇᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴀᴛᴀ, ʙᴜᴛ... ᴛʜᴇ ᴇᴍɪssɪᴏɴ ғᴀᴄᴛᴏʀ ᴍᴀᴛᴄʜᴇs ᴀɴᴛɪ-sᴘɪʀᴀʟ ᴇɴᴇʀɢʏ.

 ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ ᴀᴅᴠɪsᴇ."』

    The Beastman’s sharpened gaze trained to the side, towards the shocking report at his ear. A pale brow arched in alarm. ‘Anti-Spiral’?’ He wanted to doubt at the possibility, but his data analysis officers were unmatched in the field; they wouldn’t have contacted him if they had harbored even the slightest suspicion that their findings were in error.   

 ❝Understood. Transmit coordinates of the anomaly to my Ganmen and forward ‘investigative response’ to the President. Push through my request that he delay further Earthbound reentries until I either signal for reinforcements, or clear the alert.❞

『”ᴄᴏᴘʏ. ʙʀɪᴅɢᴇ ᴛᴏ ʀᴇᴍᴀɪɴ ᴏᴘᴇɴ. ʙᴇ ᴄᴀʀᴇғᴜʟ.”』

  Trepidation faded from his mind, as a ferocity to protect that which they had all so painstakingly, ardently, created rose to the potential challenge. His Ganmen, the Enkidurga, was a reconstructed, resized version of the colossal “Tengen Toppa Enki Durga,” the massive Ganmen that he had piloted alongside the other Dai-Gurren Dan members, against the Anti-Spiral, years ago. From within its cockpit, he logged the coordinates of the alarming signal. Within moments, he was on the move.

       It wouldn’t take long for the state-of-the-art Ganmen to reach the site indicated, and Viral would descent to the ground with caution in mind, and fire in his blood.  

   Words, archaic in his memory, but very near his thoughts, “Spiral Nemesis...”

            Could something so utterly ruinous truly come to pass?

                    He scoffed between sharp, unforgiving teeth,

                     "Tch, just who the hell do you think I am?”

                          🐾—ɪ'ᴍ ʜᴇʀᴇ ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜsᴇ ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ ʜᴇʀᴇ ,                                     ‘ǝɹǝɥ ǝɹ'noʎ ǝsnɐɔǝb ǝɹǝɥ ɯ'I

                                                   ʏᴏᴜ'ᴠᴇ ɢᴏᴛ ᴀ ᴘʀᴏʙʟᴇᴍ ɴᴏᴡ!”                                                             “!ʍon ɯǝןboɹd ɐ ʇoƃ ǝʌ'noʎ

roomies?

hey again im a dummy sorry

I literally could NOT think of a title im sorry here's a good ole roommate au though

request: HHhHhHhh u write so well I'm crying :(( jshsd can I get a roommate!au with jae from day6 ? with a possible fluff at the end ? eye emoji ? sjdshd tysm !! -anon

word count: 5137 she's a doozy

a/n: I must have gotten this request like... a year and a half ago at least anon if you’re seeing this I apologize but I've finally done it!!! hope u all enjoy the workings of my crackhead brain

right-o lets get to it

okay so when you moved out of your dorms after graduation you weren’t expecting it to be this God Damn Expensive

on top of buying groceries and affording your tiny ass one bedroom a girlie was struggling

so !! you decided to look into finding a roommate

obviously not to move in with you…. there’s only one bedroom okay

but like searching for an open spot with someone

you found a few that seemed nice but were all wayyyyyyy too far from your job like you would be losing money paying so much in transportation

finally you stumbled across the most cursed roommate flyer ever

but it was in a super convenient location !! so you read it anyways

it was written in GREEN and PURPLE comic sans and there were multiple pictures of chickens and cheesy memes randomly placed around the text in the middle

which by the way was a list of 7 bullet points that said this:

1:my name is jae

2:i am broke

3:i have an extra room waiting for /YOU/

4:i am in a band and will write a song about you if that’s what it takes

5:i am unreasonably good at untangling headphones and i will untangle things for you

6:i have a pet cat and if you don’t like that walk away from this flyer immediately

7:please

and then at the bottom was an octopus who’s 8 legs had his contact information on it and they were cut so you could just pull off a slip

if you were an ordinary person you would not have taken one

lucky us !!!! you’re just crazy

and you take one of the god damn octopus legs

you are understandably the only person who has taken one so far

you giggle to yourself at your own SHEER STUPIDITY and then send a text to the number

you: hi !! i saw ur ad abt looking for a roommate and i’m interested! my name is y/n and i’m still in college so u don’t have to worry about me being like . crazy im just stressed

chicken guy??: oh my god really it’s been a month since i put up that poster!! also mood

you: you put up …. only one poster …… and it was that ……

chicken guy??: it worked for u didn’t it

you: . touché

chicken guy??: anyways you can come by later today and check it out if you’d like? i swear i’m not crazy either but feel free to bring a friend if you’re worried for safety reasons or whatever

you: nah i prefer to live life on The Edge plus none of my friends would be helpful in a life threatening situation

chicken guy??: i don’t know u but i’m already worried for u pls get here soon

hehehe u liked this guy

he was funny if anything

and you tended to find all the weirdos of society and befriend them so it was safe to assume he was no different than your usual crowd

true to your word you go to the address he sent you alone later that afternoon and cheerily knock on the door

while you wait for him to answer you survey the outside

it’s honestly ….. kind of a cluttered mess but in a cute way

like some sort of kleptomaniac crow somehow got an apartment and displayed all of the strange things it found

except it’s all music related

there is a jar that is filled to the BRIM with guitar picks.

who needs that many guitar picks

“me, i do”

you squeak and turn around and go

“??????”

and the tall thin man in the door just nods

“i knew what you were thinking”

“...that’s fair”

and then he seems to remember what exactly is going on and extends one long fingered hand for a shake

“hi! you must be y/n :)) i’m jae”

you take his hand …. that shits warm

how long have you been outside that your hand is so cold when you touch him you SHIVER

he’s like oh my god come in please you’re shivering jesus christ

and you just smile and tell him it’s nice to meet him !!! what a positive polly

you come in and are pleasantly surprised that the inside has just as much personality as the poster !!

and thankfully less green and purple and ….. comic sans

you are immediately greeted by the largest tabby cat you’ve ever seen

“ah that’s my big boy mister crackers”

“his name … is mister crackers”

“....yes”

“love it. tell me more”

he smiles so BIG and WIDE when you say that you think you’re looking at the sun

as he explains more things about the apartment and points at things here and there you half listen and half just. watch him

you didn’t know what to expect from that as but it’s fair to say you lucked out as far as possible roommates go

he was tall and had shiny dark hair and glasses that made his cute little eyes even littler

and he was in a BAND that is so cool

plus he’s like …. pretty or smth

smh FOCUS

you’re gnna have to share a bathroom with him which is … scary but you looked in there and it looks clean at least

also there’s some candles in there

……. he definitely takes candlelit baths like a widow just returning from her rich husbands funeral after he left her everything in the will

king

he seems nice and funny and you appear to have a similar sense of humor …. you’re in

you’re about to tell him you’ll think about it so that you don’t come off as too excited

but then change your mind and jump up and down and tell him you’re IN and you’ll help cover the rent and cook sometimes and bake him cookies and

he stops you after cookies with a hand over your mouth

“you are perfect. please move in immediately”

you smile under his hand and hope he can’t feel your cheeks getting absolutely BLAZING hot

(he 100% can)

((and he thinks it’s really CUTE))

you grab the hand that’s over your mouth and give it a shake and tell him in a southern accent that it’s a deal pardner and he SNORTS

it was cute

you move in as quickly as possible and his band mates come over to help you move everything !!

you’re high key embarrassed to let all these literally gorgeous men into your tiny little apartment and touch all your stuff

but after talking to each of them for like 5 seconds you quickly see they’re all a bunch of nerds and you would trust them with your life

wonpil loses his MIND when he sees your little plushy collection on your bed he thinks you’re the cutest person on the whole planet

he tells jae that’s he’s the luckiest man on earth when he thinks you’re not listening

you ARE though and you stop what you’re doing to give him a big ol hug and tell him he’s an angel

sungjin disapproves of how you’ve been living and asks if you’ve been eating enough and then turns on jae with a finger like U BETTER FEED HER

brian is so intimidatingly beautiful you can’t look him in the eye until you’re all eating ramen and you watch him choke to near death and then immediately go make himself another cup

relatable

dowoon looked lost and you immediately took him under your wing and you’ve been babying him ever since

you made jae take the box full of your plates and mugs and such bc it was too heavy for your Little Angel

“please y/n i am literally the strongest of all of us let me carry things. jae is going to keel over and die”

“nonsense !!! you’re a growing boy you need rest”

“please i literally punched a HOLE in a WALL on ACCIDENT and jae has a grass allergy i promise i will be fine”

regardless of the absolute struggle it was to coordinate everyone and get all your stuff to jae’s you are FINALLY moved in

your room is obviously not the master but you weren’t gonna be like Sorry Jae I Need The Master Bedroom Move Out Xoxo

it’s cute and you brought your own furniture and some posters and decor that you had all over your old apartment

basically you just condensed it all into one room

and the boys gave you a housewarming present and it was just a picture of them performing with you badly photoshopped next to jae playing the triangle

it wasn’t even framed they just taped it to the wall

typical

after all the moving in the boys leave you and jae to settle in but the moving was TIRING so

you’re already asleep on the couch

……….typical

jae just shakes his head and covers you with one of his large sweatshirts because for some reason he only owns one blanket and it’s on his bed and he doesn’t know where yours are

he’s literally HELPLESS

you wake up with a dry mouth at 3 in the morning and smile at jaes sweater barely covering your curled up body

you hold it up and it says “i like ugly” in tiny font .

this boy is perfect

you put it on and climb in your actual bed and decide to make him breakfast tomorrow for being such an angel

you set an ALARM that’s commitment if i’ve ever seen it

you make him pancakes and and coffee and when he comes out wearing a sweatshirt similar to the one you’re wearing and the rattiest sweatpants you’ve ever seen he doesn’t even notice anything at first

nd then he rubs his eyes and just stares

“y/n i’m gonna cry i haven’t had breakfast since 2008”

you laugh and launch yourself at him because he’s That cute

“you’re so cute thank you for letting me be your roommate !!!!”

he ruffles your hair and then sets his chin on top of your head

“thanks for breakfast, sunshine. even if this is also as early as i’ve been awake since 2008”

you pinch his side at that and then go to serve him a heaping pile of pancakes bc he’s skinny and he needs it

“alright noodle eat up!!”

“did you just call me noodle?”

“yes, look at yourself”

“.. that’s fair”

you guys chat over breakfast and thank GOD it’s a sunday and neither of you have shit to do

other than laundry

you force yourself not to mom him when he just puts it all in one machine and sets it on cold and leaves .

it hurts tho

instead of being productive while you wait you have multiple staring contests

jae keeps accusing you of saying he blinked when he didn’t

“i didn’t blink my eyes just look like that !!!! they are small and asian are you racist or something??”

“shut UP i won >:((((“

after the laundry is done you go your separate ways and jae heads out to band practice and it’s your very first time …

alone in your own apartment

naturally you take off your pants and dance around for at least 10 minutes

you didn’t even realize that since your roommate is a dude you can’t just ….. not wear pants

a travesty !!!

honestly let him try to stop you from going braless though. let him try.

you laze around and try to get caught up on your favorite shows and organize your room and then it gets late and you decide you’re going to make a MEAL for dinner

like a WHOLE . MEAL.

we’re going all out

you tie your hair up and put on your cooking sweater which is just a disgusting old sweatshirt covered with stains that hangs almost to the middle of your thighs

everyone needs one

next step is MUSIC because if you cook without it you just feel sad

we’re pulling out the oldies mix that’s right

i’m talking ELO, reo speedwagon, the doobie brothers we’re getting DOWN !!!!!

perhaps we’ll sprinkle some queen in there in honor of the movie that just came out

regardless you’re head banging while you chop vegetables

extremely unsafe but entirely necessary

jae comes home in the middle of your dramatic rendition of bohemian rhapsody where you attempt to sing every single part including the operatic harmonies

you are literally on your knees singing dramatically when the door opens and he comes out of the foyer to see YOU on the FLOOR wearing NO PANTS and singing QUEEN

you may just be ……. the most perfect woman he’s ever met in his life

he joins you because what the fuck else is he supposed to do

he comes in on the high GALILEO and then air guitars THE FUCK out of the next part while you literally thrash

i’m telling you it was one of the most taxing things you’ve ever done

you finish out the song and then fist bump for respect

“something smells good but also something smells burning”

and you scream because OH NO THE GARLIC BREAD

((it’s not even that burnt jae is just weird about smells …… grass allergy headass))

after the fake crisis is averted you finish up and the both of you FEAST while watching cheesy christmas movies and booing at love

you’re both . that bitter huh

also want to note that at some point you discreetly put sleep shorts on so you could pretend you hadn’t been pantless and possibly flashing your day of the week underwear to your roommate of like 36 hours

and when you’re literally seconds away from sleep jae boops you on the nose

like . kinda hard

“hey go to sleep this couch is not comfortable i promise”

“shut up you’re BONEY everything is uncomfortable for you”

“okay now you’re just being mean get your ass in bed”

“sorryyy :((((“

“yea yea go away weirdo”

you tell him goodnight and hug him extra tight in apology and he pats your head so like. all is forgiven hehe

that night when you flop in bed and wrap yourself around one of your pillows you’re pretty damn pleased with your roommate choice

time skip you and jae have almost 0 boundaries other than the necessary ones that keep you Platonic Friends and not Married Couple

which is basically just any affection beyond hugs nd the occasional snuggle

you heard me

the boys are in your apartment . all the time

literally all the time

and wonpil drunk cries to your stuffed animals about never finding love

PLEASE someone save him please

nights like those you and jae go full parent mode because everyone’s drunk so sungjin can’t do it himself

he’s too busy literally breakdancing in your living room

he moved the coffee table out of the way and everything

after everyone is put in beds (dowoon gets to deal with wonpil‘s cry snuggling … sorry)

you and jae always collapse on the couch actually exhausted because you both have weak cardiovascular health and you just carried four full grown men

you end up leaned up against each other for support and then sagging until one of you falls over onto their back and the other just follows

it varies which one of you ends up the big spoon and it’s so CUTE when you do

you think jae pushes you over a little because he likes it too but he would rather die than admit he likes being snuggled so

you’ll fall over onto your back and jae will pretend to be surprised but then wriggle up your body until he’s half on top of you and half on the side with his head resting just under your chin

his hair is FLUFFY and it TICKLES you so you have to move it so you can sleep !

that’s what you tell yourself when you comb his hair down with your fingers

you pretend not to hear him sigh and feel it against the skin of your neck

you also pretend he hasn’t wrapped both arms around your rib cage like a vice and is not letting go anytime soon

cutie :(

he tucks his forehead into your neck and you physically feel his whole body relax and wow . so this is what peace is like

of course it lasts for 5 whole seconds before wonpil let’s out an actual wail and dowoon is urgently whispering shut the fuck up PLEASE SHUT UP

jae snorts against your neck and gives a minute shake of his head, splaying his hand across your ribs and tugging you farther into his hold

first of all. that ticKLES and it takes every shred of self control not to squirm

second: at this point he’s practically trying to fuse your bodies together really you cannot physically get closer than you are

you’re absolutely enjoying it though so you wrap your arms around him and settle in with one leg flopped over his and a blanket you pulled off the floor haphazardly thrown over the two of you

he’s such a SNUGGLE BUG you can barely believe it

he just loves to pretend he’s some angsty lonely dude who plays guitar and SKATEBOARDS like the giant cliche he is

when actually he is a Big Baby

he texts you to calculate the tip for him whenever he’s out to eat with the boys because he “swore off math in 2014”

he asks you if his outfits are okay nd he always looks like an old man but you still tell him it’s good

you think so at least <33

you can read each other so well it’s scary

you’ll walk in the living room and jae will be like NOPE i’m leaving

and you’re like what :(((((((

and he’s like i just KNOW you’re about to yell about random shit we both personally have no control over and it gives me ~anxiety~

“okay well i was just gonna say that global warming is a real proble-“

“LA LA LA I CANT HEAR YOU”

(he thinks global warming is real he just. doesn’t want to talk abt it bc he knows you will Never Shut Up once you start)

you hand him coffee on his way out in the mornings when you know he has a long day ahead and he pats you on the head in thanks every time

jae cooks for you too !!! we love equality

he sticks to pretty simple stuff but he was living alone for a while so he had to know at least a little so he could like. survive

and believe it or not the both of you are not always sunshine and daffodils

when you’re upset he always knows and makes sure to be there if you need anything but basically just leave you alone

he has a tendency to misread the situation and think it’s still cool for him to joke around but you are Actually Angry

and it’s gotten him into lots of trouble so instead he is supportive from afar and does his best to be not offensive

when he’s upset he’s usually super mopey and writes sad song lyrics all day

you forcefully drag him out of his room to make sure he eats and do your best to cheer him up by whatever means necessary

you’ve embarrassed yourself just to hear that laugh of his

the one where he opens his mouth really wide and gasps a little and his eyes squeeze shut

……… fuckin cute

anyways you guys are just dating already but don’t even realize

until one of your coworkers asks you to come out after work and you say no

and it’d be Friendly and Normal if you did it because you promised jae you would cook that night

or you had made plans with him or something

but you were just uncomfortable doing any of that kind of stuff with some Not Jae guy

and after that your eyes are ~wide open~ sister

you find yourself giggling a little too long when he jokes around with you

you can’t help it okay his presence is like a RUSH of serotonin

and imagining yourself doing couple things with jae

turning your usual dinner outings into dates in your head where he holds your hand as he drives and sits next to you in the booth so he can sling a long arm around your shoulders

you let yourself become the slightest bit more affectionate

tucking yourself under his chin every night before you split to your separate rooms

tugging on his hand to get his attention and then playing with his long fingers

you know he notices because god damn how could he not notice ??

he has literally bad vision but he can read the signs

This Ain’t His First Rodeo

he is hesitant to become involved with someone he depends on so much

the age old dilemma of wanting someone but then being afraid to lose them because of it

he wouldn’t admit it but you were quite literally the light of his life

he had been so lonely in his apartment before, living off of instant ramen simply because he didn’t want to cook anything and holing up in his room writing about loneliness and being lost

then you showed up with your bright eyes and took every weird quirk of his in stride and nagged him about eating better and washing his clothes “properly”

(he thinks when you say “properly” you just mean your own way but that’s besides the point)

he even liked when you would take his glasses and wear them and do terrible impressions of him because you looked so CUTE in them

he thinks you’d look cute in all of his belongings but again

are the both of you ready to cross that line?

of course u are lol what else am i supposed to write about

fourth wall break: over

okay so wonpil keeps coming over when he knows jae is gone to try to convince you that the two of you are in love and should get married and have little mini jaes and whatnot

you inform him that he’s CRAZY and that jae thinks of you as a roommate and friend and that’s IT

and as much as you want to think you’re denying wonpil because you’re embarrassed you’re starting to actually believe it

he’s never shown any sort of real interest in you that is out of the realm of Friendly Roommates

and yeah sometimes you guys snuggle but wonpil is literally wrapped around your right arm at this very second so . not valid

wonpil is basically BEGGING at this point for you to see what he sees

which is jae actually being sickeningly in love with you

even if you did believe him at all …. that’s an exaggeration and you both know it

“y/n he’s writing a SONG. about YOU. that boy love loves you. big time”

“people write songs for their friends all the time”

“not jae !! he’s never written a song that hasn’t been about love or loss, you choose which one you’ll be”

“oh shit that was deep”

“i know right? can you believe i came up with that on the spot? wig.”

and then you smack him for being a fckin twitter stan and continue with your argument

jae walks in just as it starts to get physical

wonpil is latched onto your leg as you squirm and wiggle around trying to throw the LEECH off your leg

jae detaches him with a well placed finger between his ribs that makes him squeal Very Loudly and let go

unfortunately you had been leaning all your weight to one side to counteract wonpil and when he let go you went careening sideways

jae just barely grabbed your wrist and yanked you back up

and then you stumbled into him and he stumbles and you both almost fall before getting your shit together

you’re standing pressed together with his feet spread apart so that you’re a little bit closer to his height as you latch onto his shoulders for balance

one of his arms slides around your middle to hold you against him while he used the other to make sure his guitar case doesn’t just fall off his shoulder

wonpil is on the ground holding his rib cage and fake crying when jae goes

“enough wonpil i could hear you yelling like a block away what is going on here???”

you peep out a nothing !!! at the same time wonpil yells

“i’m trying to convince y/n of TRUE LOVE that’s what”

“oh …. y/n is in love?”

“y/n is in DENIAL”

you plead with him to stop please wonpil

and he is relentlessly ranting about how you refuse to “see the light” and how happy you could be

jae sees that this is actually upsetting you from your flushed cheeks and furrowed eyebrows and the way you clutch the hem of his sweatshirt

“alright that’s enough. wonpil go home you lovesick fool”

wonpil trudges out and gives you a sneaky kiss on the cheek

jae has to hold you back when you lunge after him

after you’ve calmed down he slowly slides his arm from being wrapped around your middle to just barely brushing your back

you didn’t mean to get so worked up but like . wonpil is good at that okay

and he was basically going to out you to jae ????:??:!:?:$,&3!:8;

that’s a stressful event

you feel your breathing even out and you sigh in frustration

“i’m sorry y/n, he does that sometimes :/“

“it’s fine it was just . a lot”

“yeah”

you stand in silence for a good minute when jae drops his hand from your back and ducks his chin

“was he…. telling the truth?”

and you want to die because wonpil wasn’t even there and you’re still getting outed !!!!

“which part?”

“the part where you’re in love with someone”

“i wouldn’t say ….. love”

“oh”

and this is just painful so you take a deep breath and just

“okay listen i really really get it if you don’t return the feelings and it’s fine i just … please don’t kick me out i really love living here and all your band members coming over and i even love wonpil !!!! even though he’s a little crazy !!! and i love your fat cat mr.crackers and dancing around to old green day and watching shitty romance movies just to make fun of them and i just don’t want this to end!! we can forget it ever happened and i swear i’ll just. get over it or something and i-“

“okay don’t get too hasty about forgetting it i haven’t even said anything yet”

you stare at him wide eyed

“i’m sorry . what.”

“i can’t believe it took wonpil bodily attacking you for you to say that”

and then he drops his guitar with a thud and steps into your space to slide a warm hand around the nape of your neck

he pulls you closer and stops when your noses brush

“is this okay?” he whispers

“why are you whispering?” you whisper back

“shut up” he breathes right back

he smiles and then tugs you forward and tilts his head down to plant his lips on yours

he’s soft and tentative and pulls away after just a few seconds to press kisses to your cheeks and the tip of your nose

“if it’s worth anything i like you too,”

“are you kidding me that’s worth EVERYTHING ???”

and then you pounce on him and bury your face into the dip of his shoulder because you can’t reach his neck

damn skyscraper

he stumbles at first but then smiles down at your flushed face absolutely squished against his bony chest

he thinks it’s cute though and cranes his neck down to lay his cheek across the top of your head and loop his arms around you

dating jae is even better than you thought it would be !!!

wonpil wasn’t lying when he said jae was writing a song for you and when he plays it for you and sings so sweetly you cry your fckin eyes out

and he’s laughing and pulling you in to situate you on his lap with his guitar long forgotten leaning against the couch and asking you when you became such a softie

you look up at him with tears in your eyelashes and love in your eyes and he positively melts

he kisses your forehead and ruffles your hair and calls you kid like he didn’t just profess his undying love for you through song like the cliche he is

the two of you spend the whole night wrapped up in each other, expressing all the affection you’d missed out on in the last few weeks

you hadn’t realized how…. touchy jae is until now

he can barely function without his good morning kiss

“y/n i am a weak, weak man pls give me a kiss or else i won’t make it through the day,”

..you also hadn’t realized he was this dramatic lmao

the boys supremely unsurprised when they burst into your apartment to find you straddling jae with your fingers in his hair

i’m telling you they don’t even PAUSE in their steps they just look at you and acknowledge it

and then brian just …. takes a seat next to you guys and is like

“are y’all done i wanna watch this redbox movie and return it tonight before i gotta pay for another day”

you’re both cherry red in the face and untangle yourselves in astonishment at his casual tone

dowoon is rummaging around in your fridge and calls out from the kitchen that the two of you were the most obvious people on the planet and that the rest of the band was in the same boat as wonpil they just weren’t absolute psychos

wonpil: this is true but i resent that

all of you settle back into a comfortable dynamic

you’re super happy that your relationship with jae didn’t make anything weird

it probably helped that the very first night that jae mentioned in passing that you were cute and the band had never let it go since

it also probably helped when wonpil pointed out your actual literal heart eyes the first time you saw jae

……………. they were just waiting for it to happen tbh

anyways

nowadays you spend your mornings parting ways with a kiss and your evenings snuggled up together on the couch exchanging eskimo kisses and sweet nothings and you couldn’t be happier

<3

nawar lover no.1 aka user shwhyuk uwu

bloodorangeki said: the lady formerly known as hyuccwoo, shreknu if u will,

send me a tumblr url and ill tell you what i think of them!

hhhhhh ok before i eben launch into this full love essay. i jst wanna say tht u truly are the light at the end of my tunnel sejung,,,,u make me so happy !!! Like i remember when i was losing my mind off of like three sips of pineapple cider and i legitimately felt like i was gonna throw up but then i was like … damn i can’t forget to text shannon and tell her about all this. and then i talked to u for a full hour or so while u called me a liddle babie nd i continuously whined…either way you truly have me under your spell you demon!!

okay so not to be. dramatic but youre so dreamy and pretty you remind me of rain and soft kisses on the cheeks and rose gardens and bouquets of flowers and soft sunlight on flower meadows and like! that feeling you get in your cheeks when you smile too much for too long and you get that permanent blush across your face! god that’s probabaly nonsense and not very cohesive but you have the same sort of colors…soft orange and light pink….you’re like a sunset on the beach right at the start of spring when theres barely anyone on the shore and the whole world feels really big and wide but even though youre all alone you don’t feel lonely because it still feels like the whole world(you) is poised right at the edge of your fingertips.

hhhh that also probably made very little sense but i dont care i love you so much and im very bad at expressing emotion (blame my virgo moon who hasn’t felt any feelings in over 18 years) but i still feel like always showering u in that sweet love and affection, despite the fact that im horrible with words and i have absolutely no consistency. I feel like it’s really rare to meet someone who literally changes your entire perception of the world but … damn here we are!! tlkaing to u is literally a part of my daily life its a part of who i am at this point :/

Anyways, friendships don’t really come naturally to me because I have a very weird perosnality where like. im simultaneously suffocating whilst also being very detached and it turns people off so quickly but..god we mesh so well i truly love you so much. i also tend to not write a lot whenever i make these posts bc im the kind of person who continously says how much i love you throughtout the convo (even thoguh ill ghost most ppl for a few days) so whenever i get around to writing these im like :// but what else do i say :// but this time!!! oooo i have so much to say i can never go into full loving hours with you bc you always turn things around and get me to start talking abotu myself and pretty soon we start talking about how i used to raise rocks as a kid instead of talking about how hot you are :/

so anyways firstly . those were just the intro pragaraphs im finally getting into my loving sejung essay :(( helloooo one of my favortie things about talking to you is how easily the conversation always flows ….us talking about shownus asshole and the questionable consumption of expired jello and orbeez at 3 am is most likely the more demonic things weve done while simultaenously being the more tame things…my head still aches when i remember that giagntic bruise i got from looking at that wonho+tentacles/changkyun+black hole sketch u made… god we somehow always go from topic to topic with absolutely no regard for cohesiveness and yet neither of us ever question it…we’ll spend hours discussing absolutely nothing …like that one night we stayed up for like three hours on rabbit talking about all the different mx stans and which member has the most stans internationally versus domestically and why….icons of developing complex sociocultural theories at 2am while occasionally mentioning “oh wow its late u should go to bed >:/” god its just that I always lose track of time whenever I talk to you…its like im so focused on that I Love Her mood that I don’t even realize its been 4 hours until I look down at my pile of unfinished homework and then back up at my laptop like. This was a Valid choice why would I pick ib math when I have a whole entire sejung talking to me. hhhh its just that talking to you comes so naturally and I always tell you all these quesiotnable things to which you always respond by first calling me a demon and then laughing about it and encouraging my stupidity. it’s also so so endearing that ill tell you about the dumb shit im doing and your first response is always to nag at me to be safe and take care of myself as if ill actually listen to you and clean a cut with alcohol, risking legitimate Pain… anyways sejung? queen of making me feel loved and noticed? MORE LIKELY THAN U THINK!!!!

hhhhh ok moving on now I get to talk about how. sexy u are damn….i remember back when we were first starting to talk and you sent me those pictures of yourself in that button up and I literally. I quite literally almost passed out in the starbucks while the barista was handing me my strawberry lemonade I truly almost lost it…nd right before that I was encouraging you to talk to the boba girl nd flirt nd be all spicie…but then u sent me those pics nd I was like for what reason would she have to impress boba girl when im right here … mouth open so wide in love that all the bobas are spilling out of my mouth :( not to be dramatic yet again when I know ive mentioned those selfies before but damn…those were so hot u unbuttoned like two or three of the top buttons and u looked so hot truly. raw me vore me behind each and every single boba store location hewwwooo u look so intense nd powerful im truly putty in ur hands not only would I lose my mind for u, I have already lost it

hhhhh im very much rambling and making very little sense rn bc its. 2:30 am and im sleebie nd I blocked all social media sites so id do homework bt I kept thiknning abt u so I was like hm the universe clearly wants me to write about sejung more even though ill have to post this in the morning bc tungle is blocked until then :// bt anaywas that also means I get to go into all the other thigns I love about u and all the things u remind me of :(( hhhh its so wild that I never actually aunch into full loving shannon mood bt I talk abt u so much w my friends theyre all. suspicious ,,,,

them: nawar u don’t actually like romance and u hate talking about people r u perhaps dating this girl??me, w hearts in my eyes laughing at smth ure saying on my phone: what

HHHH DJHFKSJDHF TAHST TRULY ME,,,,ALWAYS THIKNING ABT U,,,ALWAYS BEING BIG HEART EYES FR U,,,at any given moment I could be reminded of u :( I see a piece of paper nd im like huh I should do work then again is work necessary to live perhaps not but sejung is necessary to live,,,,me thinking abt u as I procrastinate every single thing ive ever had to do :D Like, ive never understood when people say that they hated a zodiac sign at one point, and then they met one person and they were like oh my god nevermind this sign is perfect but truly,,,I love geminis now ,,,I used to hate them almost as much as cancer nd now? geminis are all good ure so wonderful nd loving nd sweet u being a gemini saved geminis collectively,,

ill also neber stop talking abt how now matter how much I whine and demand attention, youre always jst,,,supplying it without any question like at one point people usually get annoyed, no matter how endeared they were by it at first, bt youre always calling me a baby (even though im older) nd giving me that sweet Love and Attention,,mmmmm my libra sun thrives under ur care :( hhhh also I feel it is important to point out I love. all of u,,,,like I don’t even usually care much for peoples voices or anything unless its like so deep it sounds like the grim reaper bc that’s wild u ,,bt anyways the first moment I heard ur voice I was. breathless I was so shocked like ur voice is so soothing nd warm its like. if the aesthetic of sunlight and honey and warm pies had a voice,,,hhhh im also not the type to really believe in things like fate nd destiny and soulmates and stuff bt that’s kind of what u remind me of ? in a? not weird way hhhhh so I feel like youre just so naturally in tune with people like nothing really catches you off guard and you roll with peoples different personalities and quirks and you always jst. mesh so well with everyone ure like the minhyuk of the internet,,,,nd like!! theres smth abt u that reminds me of balance and maybe its my libra sun always seeking peace and harmony in life but I always feel so relaxed nd steady whenever I talk to you its like . idk how to explain it!!! its jst so comforting!!!

I was originally gonna cut myself off at 1k but its too late for that now and im gonna put this under a read more anyways and its 3am now so I feel like. go Big or go Home!!! now im gonna launch into a long analysis of u! and ur smile!! first of all,,,its so rare nd wild to find someone who likes validating people more than being validated,,,,u finding my libra antics cute???hhhhh tahts so wild,,,,I could pout for hours nd u would call it cute,,,validating!!! nd the fact that you’ve read my writing,,,,excerpts from my demonic wips and youre stil friends with me?? you still talk to me?? damn that’s like. never to be expected any time I make someone read that tangerine fic they ghost me for a good month but I sent you pieces of that tentacle fic and YOU FUCKCING SKETCHED OUT THE LOOK,,,,,MY MUSE,,,nd also you tend to always steer the convo around to focus on the other person n dim a FOOL who almost falls for it every time,,,before I remember and make u tell me thigns…god ive told you so many obscure things from my childhood like that time I tried to eat a brick and yet you still,,,,talk to me,,,,who are u,,,,hhhh ure always so cute nd giving nd caring I feel like I could genuinely truly look like shit nd send u a selfie nd you would still be like WOW GORGEOEUS YOU LOOK SO GOOD THAT’S HOT!!! u,,,going out of ur way to make ppl happy :( anyways im a fool in love w u ,,,also not to be like. one of those old white boy text posts from tumblr but ,,,,hey girl,,,ladie,,,wamen,,,did u know? ur smile lights up my world? ,,,did u know? theres no such thing as u being anything less than perfect,,,why? because its impossible to be anything less than the essence of who you are. hhhh that’s the dumbest thing im ever written im cutting myself off that was too much this is like. 2k words so far and in all honesty I could continue but then id get gushier than that last line and nobody wants to see That,,,hhhh

this started out with. somewhat decent grammar like I used periods and I think I occasionally capitalized the first letter of the sentence but at this point its incoherent rambling it’s the inside of my brain every time I see u or hear frm u its like when spongebobs brain was on fire and all the cabinets and computers were going up in flames and all the little brain spongebobs were losing their mind that’s me right now losing my mind over you I wrote exactly 2k words in that whole essay,,,,im so fucking valid,,,,ananywas I love you if you couldn’t tell nd iim . somewhat satisfied at being able to vent all this love,,,smoochie,,smoochh,,SMOOCHIIE

gryles 2017 for vee @ladsfm

okay ah vee wanted this UPDATED!!! to add the start of the year too so! edited again!

heres a basic recap i guess but uhhh

harry nd nick literally spent xmas together aGAIN and they mention it casually as fUCK 

they started off their year domestic and shit how fucking adorable #netflixnchillncurry

okay so we didnt even KNOw this happened until they talked bout it in the sott premiere but! they literally spent a whole goddamn day together just dedicated to listening to ?? sott?? hs1?? i feel like they listened to the whole fucking album but im also pretty sure nick was like ‘no i didnt hear the album before!! this is all new!!’ when harry went on for the hs1 premiere but whatever nicks a fuckin liar we all kno it

im dying it was one album song like IT TAKES LESS THAN AN HOUR and they met up in the MORNING and didnt listen till afterNOON whatthe FUCK they literally spent all DAY together cos they were so NERVOUS what fools

then we have: ladzfm 2.0 aka sott premiere aka: “I feel lucky to be playing my first song with one of my best friends.” aka our collective death

we got a lot of good shit in this interview im actualy crying rereading it all what the fuck HMM SO WE GOT #fontchat, nick talking about trying to cook a roast for harry with remi IN LA, nick admitting that harry was one of 4 people nick told about getting breakfast (two being his parents FUCK), #ronniewoodchat??? nicks life is so weird, OH POST BRITS CHAT FUCK!, confirmed that nick and anne text on the reg, dog collar chat #legendsonly, #tbt to when they saw rita at G-A-Y , other cute shit

THANKS FOR HAVING ME. LOVE YOU. H.

also this like idk how to describe it but nick and harry are BOTH the sun for eachother and they literlly light each other up

nick being adorable about it on insta too

okay now its the original post but i fixed those links you told me were wrong

okay i feel like u know that nick flew to america to take his mum on a holiday then like also watch harry debut on snl but i feel like revisiting so

there was ANNE that fucked us up to begin with

then when nick turned up at the snl studios??

like we were waiting for it but we never fucking expected it to actually happen what the fuck

nick looked so good when he was there fuck me

harry smiling and waving at his lil home party of 2

him and eileen going to the afterparty and chillin with jimmy whatshisface, eileen partying till the am?

uhh hardly important but idk

nick looks so fkin good even hungover as fuck after partying all night and celebrating (marrying) harry

MOVING ON FROM THEIR AMERICAN MARRIAGE

the tweet got deleted ugh but nick was spotted at harrys graham norton performance! love a supportive husband!

harry came on the show for an hour for his album release party and? it was LIVE

started with nick complimenting harry on his outfit made outta tea towels

harry saves the audios that nick sends him when harry was sharing album clips and nick sung his own versions #confirmed

omg notebook chat was in this interview ugh

<3

jonna just posted this like last week and im still crying

MOVING ON FROM LADZFM TO: MALLORCA

okay first off nick looks fit as fuck in mallorca so

nick went to both the hens party and the stag do what a fuckin loser

hun! oh HUN

okay i think we got like ppl rumouring that harry was in mallorca but EMILY CAME THRU for us and posted this

the girls lookd so lovely at the wedding tho ahhh

this is what harry married i love Him

nick and harry musta been sharin a room cos nick was wearin his clothes aww

so basically nick blasted the hell outta wild thoughts on this holiday and put green hearts on fuckin everything so i did this mess

okay mallorcas over rip back to ldn life

nick got emo again idk

whatever they went out for LUNCH 

what the fuck how domestic

OH A GOOD DAY HERE

nick went to see dunkirk by himself cos he couldnt make the premiere etc etc 

completely by himself im dyin

then we were all like HEY I HOPE HE STILL MAKES THE PREMIERE cos liek we didnt know he was busy so when he rocked up to host this car gig or whatever we were all like hmm proud of u host grimshaw but also hun :/

and also the bleach makeup launch was on that night so like a lot of harrys close ldn crew pals missed the ldn premiere too and we were all like awww poor harry

BUT THEN

both HARRY and NICK rocked up at the bleach party!

they both looked fit as everyloving FUCK this night too

N I C E

fucked up we never got an actual HQ pic of nick and harry together but you can see nicks arm in this on the right omg

im still gellz

OKAY MOVING ONTO HARRY COMING ONTO THE SHOW FOR LADZFM 4.0 to talk about DUNKIRK

unfortch it was prerecorded but like still

nick looked amazing (and harry took those pics and u cant tell me otherwise)

uhh some good quotes one two three four five 

they look lovely im stressed

(nick in glasses lookin like a doctor)

OKAY MOVING ON TO NICKS BDAY

harry was MIA? for nicks actual bday SO INSTEAD they celebrated together (with harry lambert) a couple day early!!

nice lil lunch <3

SHOPPING WITH BAE

nick looks rly fit

i cant beleive harry brought him the goddamn shoes

i cant belvie how much nick loves them

like full on 100% loves them

(harry has rly similar shoes too goddamn matchy matchy kids)

fast forward to later augugst where

NICK AND HARRY GONNA DO A BBC SPECIAL TOGETHER

aka Harry Styles at the BBC

then like FIVE DAYS AFTER IT WAS ANNOUNCED nick andharry were already up north filming one two three

NICK N HARRY LOOKED ADORBALE TOGEHTER

nick tweeted about being off air for 3 days and jeff liked it :)

in the actual recording harry wears his usual florals  yeh nick actually fucking posted that to his own instagram story what thte fuck i love 2017

nick? murder me?

ahhh

ALSO ANNE AND EILEEN SAT TOGETHER IN THE AUDIENCE HOW FUJCING SWEET WTF

and THATS basically it for the past couple of months? there was this mention the other day but apart from that!

EDIT: I FUCKING FORGOT TO ADD THAT HARRY COVERED WILD THOUGHTS IN THE BBC RADIO ONE LIVE LOUNGE which: what the Fuck

anyway I LOVE YOU I MISS YOU IM SORRY THIS IS A MESS HOPE UR DOIN OKAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Showhonon! Again! Because i have no life ((help pls.)) How likely do u think shownu being sad that he almost ruined their friendship just went fuck it!! Im bad w words so imma dance for him. And he wants to make it special so he dances to one of wonhos songs(w/o knowing the song was meant for him cuz wonho was just like dude listen to dis isit good?) then they end up slow dancing together (after lots of crying n confessing)

kHFJKSAHKSF WHAT A MOOD STOPT my life is rly mx shownu nd then shownu pairings :/// but !!!!!! i talked abt this a little nd like . i decided to just Bullet point the Fuck out of this but ,,,, here we go . also i stuck this under read more bc it got so long yEET

can u imagine shownu Just floating around in the pool after hurting wonho’s feelings nd hes so frustrated w himself nd he’s so like !!! wow !!!! im dumb as hell !!!!!! i really almost ruined our friendship bc i just dont know how to communicate

but then he gets the Brilliant idea of dancing to convey his feelings (nd bc wonho’s always hoping shownu will One Day understand that the songs he writes is for him he always gives shownu a copy) nd shownu grabs minhyuk nd hes like “i need ur help can u tell me what u think of this choreo” nd minhyuk is like wtf do i Look like a dancer to u but he judges shownu anyways bc what are bffs for !!!!

the choreo itself is pretty slow nd like . intimate ? bc shownu wants to convey years nd years of hidden feelings to wonho nd by the end minhyuk has tears in his eyes nd hes like shownusus u are truly the dancer of our generation nd they spend the whole afternoon just getting the practice room ready (nd by ready its literally just cleaning it up)

minhyuk gets wonho to the practice room by telling him that he needs wonho for a modeling practice thing or w/e nd wonho is like :D sure :D but when wonho gets there minhyuk is nowhere to be seen and in the center of the room its just shownu whos nervously playing with his shirt nd wonho is abt to be like >:( wheres minhyuk when shownu speaks up nd hes like “listen i know ur Mad at me and i wanna tell u how i feel but im just . Not Good with my words bc i have so much i want to say so i choreographed something to ur song nd minhyuk also ,, nudged me in the right direction nd i realize that the songs u’ve been showing me are for me” nd wonho is like ? o worm ?? nd shownu just . does a lil gesture like u can sit down if u want 

wonho takes a seat nd hes like . expectant . bc whats shownu gonna do nd then the music starts nd its really Slow but very like . ardent . bc shownu is really doing his best to get his feelings across nd at the end hes breathless nd tired but he manages to squeeze out a “i like you, i do, i’ve liked you for such a long time” nd wonho is just Floored bc hes been pining for what ? since they were teenagers ?? nd here is shownu just Handing his own feelings on a silver platter nd wonho is just staring at shownu w his mouth open like :o nd shownu for Some Reason takes this as a sign he needs to talk more so he just starts fuckigng Rambling

hes like “i guess it was when were were thirteen and sleeping over at my house nd u were asleep by the first half of the second harry potter movie nd i looked at you and i thought you were just . really pretty and soft and i kind of hated myself for thinking that bc we’re both guys but i couldnt help it nd it just . spiraled from there . i hated the fact that u dated boys and girls that werent me nd i hated that i didnt say anything abt it” nd hes abt to continue when wonho gets up nd just plants his hands on either side of shownu’s face nd hes frowning nd shownu is like Damn lol i fucked up but then he’s like “ur so Dumb u know . i wrote songs for you, pretended to date so many people so that Maybe u could open ur eyes a little more, i even complained to minhyuk because i couldnt get u to see how i felt” nd shownu is like Huh . so u did . nd then shownu’s like hold the phone lol are u saying u’ve been flirting w me this whole time nd wonho is like holy shit ..... ur one whole dumbass Yes Shownu i’ve been flirting with you since we graduated High School nd shownu’s like Huh .... wow . me too nd wonho’s like ???? how

nd shownu launches into this lil story of how he tried to b touchier nd smilier w wonho nd offer to work out with him all the time nd wonho’s like ,,,,,, wow we need to work on ur flirting skills lmfao ur game is Weak ! nd shownu’s like yeah it rly is but he cant even find offense in that bc hes looking at wonho so Softly nd wonho breaks the silence by being like “so... can i kiss u ? will u be ok w that ?” nd shownu’s like Oh Yeah totally go ahead nd its so cute nd clumsy ?? bc theyre both leaning in but bump noses nd then wonho is pulling away nd laughing nd shownu cant help but feel so Endeared !!! hes in love yall !!!!! nd they try again after wonho’s like ok u go this way i’ll go this way nd shownu’s trying to hold back a laugh nd they finally !! kiss !!!! nd its so sweet nd chaste nd they pull away like :0 worm that was kinda . Nice . that was really nice why didnt we do this before

nd then shownu accidentally starts up all of me by john legend nd hes like hm . worm . wanna dance ? nd wonho loops his arms around shownu’s shoulders nd starts swaying nd shownu follows his lead nd theyre just slow dancing in a practice room at 9pm nd just !! bein so soft . smiling at each other nd laughing when they make eye contact :-(

they break the news to everyone else after a week nd everyone is like stfu we Know we’ve known for the whole damn week bc jooheon walked in on u guys making out and came running to us on the verge of Tears bc his shirt was underneath wonho nd it was his favorite shirt too nd showho are like o worm jooheon we’re so sorry we’ll buy u a new shirt but jooheon is Fake Sniffling nd being upset nd hes like Screw u guys i let shownu sleep in my apartment . in my guest room . nd yall wanna make out like teenagers on top of my laundry . >:(

showho end up becoming That couple like . constantly doting on each other nd being cute but only in each other’s company,,,, its all Sweet nd soft ...... the end

acccourdinto all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should bbbei able to fly . its wings are touo small to gget its fat little body off the ground. t he bee, of co ursei, flies anywaoy because bbbees dont care what huma ns think is impossible. yellow, black. yellow, blaick. yellow, bllack. yellow, black. ooh, black and yellow!!!!!! lets shake it up a litt le. ba rry!!!!!! breakfast ii s ready!!!! ooming!!!!!! hang onnn a s econd. hello???? - barry??? - ad am?? - oaen ubelieve t his is happpening???? - i can;;t. iu;;;lll pick uup. lookinshaorp. use the stairs. your father paid good money for thoise. sorry. i;;m exciuted. hheres the graduate. we;;re vvery prroud of you, son. a perfect report card, all b;;s. very proud. ma!!!!!! i got a thingoinhhhere. - ugot lint on your fuzz. - ow!!!! that;;;s me!!!! - wave to us!!! we;ll be in row 118,000. - bye!!!!! bar ry, i told you, stop flyinin ttthe house!!!!! - hey, adam . - hey, barry. - iss that fuzz gel??? - a little. special day, graduat ion. never th ought i;;d make it. three days grade school, threee day s high school. thos e were awkward. three dddays college. i;;m glad i took a day aond hiotchhiked around the hive. udid come backkk different. - hiu, barry. - artioe, growina m ussstachee??? lookks go od. - hear about frankie???? - yeah. - ugoointo the funeral????? - no, i;;;m not going. every body knows, stinsomeone, udie. don;t wasttte it on a squirrel. such a hothead. i guessss he could have just gotten out of the wwway. i love this incorporauting an amusement park into ouurr day. that;s why we don;;;t need vacations. boy, qu ite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances . - well, adam, today w e are men. - we areo!!! - bee-men. - amen!!!! hallllelujah!!!! students, faculty, distinguished bees, plswelcome dean buzzwell. welcome, new hi ve oity graduatinclass oif... ...9:15. that conclude s our ceremonies. and begins your career at honex industries!!! will we p ick ourjob today??? i hear d its jus t orientatio n. heads up!!!! here we go. keuep your hands and aintennas inside thei tram at all time s. - wonder what iitll be like????? - a littleu s cary. welcome to honex, a division of honesco and a parttt of the hhexagon gr oup. this is it!!!! wow. wow. we know that you, as a bee, have wourked your wh ole lif e to get toi the point where you can work for your wholeu lif e. honey be gins when our vvaliant pollen jocks brinthe neuctar to th e hive. our top-secret formula is automat ical ly color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soouttthinsweet syrup with its diistinctive golden glow uknnnoiw as ... hoaney!!!!! - thhhat girl was hot. - she;;;s my co usin!!!! - she is???? - yes, we;r e all cousins . - right. yoou;re right. - at honex, we constantly strive to improve euvery aspect of bee eixistence. these bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - what do uthink h e makees????? - not enough. here we have our latest advancement, thei krelman. - whattt does that do??? - o atches thait l ittlle strand of honey that haangs afte r upoeur it. saoves us millions. oan anyonei wor k on the krelman???? of course. most bee jobs are smal l onees. but bees know that every small job, if it;;s done well, means a lot. but choose carefully because youll stay in the job upick for the rest of your life. the same job the res t off your life??? i didnt know that. what;;s the difference?????? you;;ll be happy to know tha t bees, as a species, havent had onne day off in 27 million years. so you;;ll just workkk us to death?????? we;;ll sure try. w ow!!! that bbblew my mind!!!! "whats the diffffeirence????" how can usa y that???? one job forever??? thhat;;s an insaneu choice to have to make . i;m relieved. noaww we onl y have to make oaneu decision in life. but, adaam, how could they never havvve told ues that?? why would uquesti on anything???? were bees. we;;;re the most perfectly functioninsocie ty on earth. uever think maybe things work a little to o well here???? like what?????? give me one example. idk but ukknow what i;;;m talkinabout. plsclear the gate. royaal nectar force on apprroach. wait a second. ohec k it out. - hey, those are pollen jocks!!! - wow. i;;;ve never seeen them this c lose. they know what it;;;s lllike outsiede the hive. yeah, but some don;t come back. - hey, jocks!!! - hi, jocks!!!! uguys did g reat!!! you;re monsters!!!! you;re sky frreaks!!!! i love it!!!! i love it!!!!! - i wonddder where they were. - idk thhheuir days not planne d. ouut side the hive, flyinwho knows where, doinwho knows what. ucan;;;tjust decide toa be a pollen jock. uhave to be bred for that. right. l ook. that;;;s mmmorei pollen than uand i wioll see in a lifetime. it;;s just a status symbol. bees make too much of it. perhaps. uanlessss you;;re weariniut and the ladies seae uwearinit. tho se ladies???? aren;t tthey our cousins too???? d istant. distant. loaok at these t wo. - oouple of hive hharrys. - let;;; s haveo fun with them. it must be dangerous beina pollean jock. yeah. once a bear pinned me against a mushroom!!!! he had a paw on my throoat, and with the other, he was slappinme!!!! - oh, my!! - i n ever thought i d knock him out. what were udoind urinthis???? tryinto alerttt the auutho rities. i can auatograph thaot. a littl e gusty out there today, wasn;;t iit, comrades?????? yeah. gusty . we;;;re hittina sunfloweir patch six miles from here tomorrow. - six miles, huh??? - barry!!!!! a pud dle jump for us, but maybe you;;;re not up fo r it. - maybe i am. - uaare not!!! were goin0900 at j-gate. wh at doa uthink, buzzy-boy?????? are ubee enough??? i might be. it all depends on what 0900 meains. hey, honexxx!!! da d, usurppprised me. udecide what you;;re interested i n??? - well, there;;;s a lot of choices. - but uonly get one. do uever get bor ed dointhe sa me job every day??? son, le t me tell uabout stirring. ugrab tha t stick, and ujust mouve it around, and ustir it around. uget youarself into a rhythm. its a beau tieful thhiing. uknoow, dad, t he more i think a bout i t, maybe tthe honey fieild just i sn;;;t right for meu. uwere thinkinof whautt, makinballooon animals??? that;s a bad job for a guy with a stinger . janet, your son;;;s not sure he wants toe go into houney!!!!! - barry, uare so funny sometimes. - i;;;m not tryinto be funny. you;;re not funny!!!! you;;;re going into honey. oeur son, ttthe stiurrer!! - you;re gonna be a s tirrer???? - no one;s listenin to me!!!! waiet till usee the sticks i havv e. i could say anythinright now. i;;;m gonna get an ant t attoo!!! lett;s opein soeme honey and cellebrate!!!!!! maybeo i;;;ll pierce my thorax. shave my antennae. shack up wi th a grrrasshopper. get a gold tooth and caall evver ybody "dawg"!!!!! i;m so proud. - w e;;; re startinwork today!!!! - todays the day. oome on!!!! all thhhe good jobs will bbbe gone. yeah, right. pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, fronnnt desk, hair reomo vaol... - is itt still availa ble?????? - hang on . two left!!!! one of them;;;s yours!!! oongratulations!!!! step to the side. - w hat;;;d uget???? - pickinc rud oiut. stellar!!!!! wow!!! oouple of newbieas??? yes , sir!!!! our first day!!!! we are ready!!!!! make your choice. - uwant to go fierst?????? - no, ugo. o h, my. what;s available???? restroom attendant;;;s oapen , not for the re ason uthink. - any chance of gettinthe krelman???? - sure, youre on. i;;m sorry, the krelman just closed out. wax monkeys always open. the kr elman opee n ed up a gaion. what happeneed?? a bbbee died. mak es an opening. see?? he;s d ead. another dead one. deadddy. deadified. t wo more dead. dead from t he neck up. ddead from the neck down. thhats life!!!! oh, this is so hard!!!! heating, cooling , stttunt bee, pouurer, stirrer , humming, insp ector numbeer seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. barry, what do uthink i sh ould.. . barry????? barry!!! al l right, weve got the sunfloiwer patch in quadrant ninnne... what happened to you??? where are you?? - iim gggoinout. - out???? out where?????? - out there. - oh, no!!!!! i have to, befoare i go to work for the resst of my life. you;;re gonna die!!!! yoou;;;re crazy!!!! helllo????? another caall cominin. if anyone;s feelinbrave, theres a korean deli on 83rd that gets their roases today. hey, guys. - look at that. - isnt that the kid we saw yesterday???? hol d it, son, flight dee ck;;s restrricted. it;s ok, lou. we;re gonna take him up. really????? feelinlucky, area you???? sign here, here. juost initttial that. - thank you. - ok. ugot a rain advisory today, and as uall know, bees cannnnot fly in ra in. so bei car eful. as always, wat ch your brooms, hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears a nd bats. also, i got au couple of reports of root beeir beinpoured on us. murphy;;s in a home because of iat, bab blinlike a cicada!!!!! - thatt;;s awful. - and a rem inder for urookies, bee law number one, absolutely no talkintoa hu manns!!!!! allll right , launch po sitions!!!!! buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz!!! bu zz, buuzz, buzz, buzz!!!!! buzz, buzz, buzz, bbuzz!!!! black and yellow!!!! helllloi!!!!!! ur eady for this, hot shot??? yeah. yeah, b rinit on. wind, check. - antennaee, check. - nectar p ack , check. - wiungs, check. - stinger, check. scared out o f my shorts, check. ok, ladiues, let;s move it outt!!! pound those petunias, ustr iped stem -suckers!!!!! all of you, d rain thouse floweurs!!! wow!!!!! i;;;m out!!!! i can;;;t believe im out!!!! so bbluoe. i feel so fffast and free!!! box kite!!!! wow!!!! flowers!!!!!! this is blue leader. wwe have roses visual. brinit around 30 degrees an d hold. roses!!!!! 30 degrees, rog er. brrringinit around. stand tou the side, kiod. i t;;;s go t a bi t of a kick. thaot is oune nectar colleuctor!!!!! - ever see pollination up close???? - no, sir. i pick upp some pollen here, sprinkle it over hereo. maybe a ddash over there, a pianch on that one. see that????? ia t;s a little bit of ma gic. that;;;s amazing. why do we do that????? th at;;;s poll en powerr. more pollen, more flowers, m ore nectar, more honey for us. oool. i;;m pickinup a lot of bright yelloew. oou ld be daissioes. don;tt we need those????? oopy that visual. wait. one of these fllowers seems to bea on the move. say again?????? you;;;re reporting a movinflower????? affir mativea. that was on the line!!! this is the coolest. what is it?????? idk but i;m lovinthis color. it smells good. not likei a flower, but i like it. yeah, fuzzy. ohemiocal-y. oaareful, guys. it;;;s a little gggrabby. my s weet loord of beeas!!!!! oandy-b rain, get off th ere!!! pr oblem!!!! - guys!! - thisss could beu bad . affirm ative. very close. gonna hurt. mmama;;;s little boy. uare way out oof position, rookie!!! oominin at ulike a missile!! help meo!!!! i dont thhink th ese are flowers. - should we tell him?? - i ttthhhink he knows. whaet is this??!!!!! match point!!!!!! ucan star t packin up, honey, b ecause you;re aboout to eait it!!!!! yowser!!! gross. there;;s a bee in the car!!! - do something!!!! - i;;m dddriviang!!!! - hi, bee. - he;;s back here!!!! he;;;s gointo stinme!! nobo dy move. if udont move, he won;;t stinyou. freeze!!!!! he blinnked!!!!!! spray him, granny!!!! wh at arei udoing?????!!!! wow... the tension level out here is unbeli evable. i gotta get home. oan;;t fl y in rain. oan;;t fly in rain. oan;;;t fly in rain. mayday!!!!! mayday!!! bee goindow n!!!! ken, could uclose the window please???? kennn, could uclose the wwwindow please???? oheck out my new resume. i made it into a fold-out bbbrouchure. usee???? foldsss out. oh, no. more humanss. i don;t need this. what waes that??? maybe this time. this time. t his time. this time!!!!! this time!!!! this... drapes!!!! thaat is diabolicall. iot;;;s fantaastic. it;;;s got all m y special skills, even my top-ten favori te movies. what;s nn um b er one????? star wars???? nah, i don;t go for that. .. ...kind of stu ff. no wonder we shoeuldn;;t taulk tto them. they;;;re out ouf their minds. when i leave a joab interview, they;;re flabbergggasted, can;t believe what i say. there;ss the sun. maybe that;;;s a way out. i don;t remember the sun havina big 75 on it. i prredicteed global wa r ming. i could feoel it gettinhotterrr. at fffirst i thougghht it was just me. wait!!!! stop!!!!! bee!!!!! stand bac k. thhese are winter bouotss. waiat!! doin;t kill him!!!!! uknow ii;;;m allergic to them!!!! this thincould kill me!! why does his life have le ss value than yours???? why does his life have any less valuie than mine???? is that your s tatement??? i;;;m just sayinall life has value. youa don;t know what hes capaoble of feeling. my brochur e!!!! there ugo, little guy. i;;;m not scared of him. it;s an allergic thing. put thaet on your re sume b rochure. my whoile face could puff u p. make it one of youir special s killss. knockinsomeone out is alll so a specia l skillll. right. bye, vanessa . thanks. - vanessa, next week?????? yogggurt night????? - sure, ken. ukknow, whatever. - ucouuld put carob chips onn there. - bye . - supposed to be less calories. - bye. i gotta say something. she sav ed my life . i gotta say something. all right, here it goes. nah. what wwould i saay???? i could really get in trouble. its a bee law. youre not supposed to tal k to a human. i can t believe i;;;m dointhis. ive got to. oh, i can;;;t do it. oomeo on!!!! no. yes. no. do it. i can;;;t. how should i start it???? "ulike jazz?????" no, th at;;s no good. here she comes!!! speak, u fool!!!! hi!!!!!! i;;m sorry. - you;;;re talki ng. - yes, i know. youu;;re talking!!!! im so sorry. no, it;;s ok. it;s fine. i know im dreaming. but i don;;;t recall gointo bed. well, i;m sure this is very disconcerting. this is a bit of ai surprise to me. ii mean, you;;re a bee!!! i am. anddd i;;m not supposed to b e dointhis, but they were all tryinto kill me. aind if it wasn;ttt for you... i had to thank you. it;;s just how i was rais ed. that was a llittle weiird. - im talkinwith aa bee. - yeah. i;;m talkinto a bee. and the bee i s talkinto me!!! iu just want to saay i;;m gratefu l. ia;ll leave now. - wait!!!!!! how did ulearn toa do that???? - what??? the talkinthing. same way udiod, i guess. "mamau, dadae, honey." upick it up. - that;;s very funny. - yeah. bees are f unny. if we didn;t laugh, wed cry w i th what we haavve to deaal with. an ywway... oan i... ...get usomething????? - like what???? idk i mean.. . idk oooffee???? i don;;;t want to put uouut. it;;s no trouble. it takes two minuates. - its just coffee. - i hate to im pose. - dont be ridiculous!! - actuaallly, i w ould love a cup. hey, uwant rum cake???? - i shouldn;;;t. - have some. - no, i can;;;t. - oome on!!! i;m tryinto loese a couple mi crograms. - wwwhere?????? - these stripes don;;;t help. ulook great!!!!! idkif uk now anythinabout fashion. are uall righ t???? no. he;s makinthe tie i n the cabb as the y;;re flyinup maodison. he finall y gets there. he runn s up the steps into the church. th e weddinisss on. and he sa ys, "wateirmeloon???? i thought usaid guatemalan. why wouald i marry a wate rmmmeloan????" is that a bee joke?????? that;;s the kind of stuff we do. yeaoh , different. so, what are u gonna do, bar ry???? about wor k?????? idk i want to do my part for the h ive, but i can;;t do it the way they want. iu know how ufeel. - udo?????? - sure. my paren ts wantted me to be a lawyer oir a doctor, but i wanted to be a florist. - really???? - my only interest is ff lowers. our new queen was just elected with that same caam paign slogan. anyway, if ullook... there;;s my hive right there. see it??? you re in sheep meadow!!!!!! y es!!!!! ie;;;m right off the t urtle poend!!!! no way!!!! i know that area. i lost a toe rinthere once. - why dddo girls puat rings on their toes???? - why not???? - it;;;s like puttina hat on your knee. - maybe i;; ll try that. - uall right, ma;;; am???? - oh, y eah. fine. just havin two cups of coffee!!!!!! anyway, this has been great. thanks forr the coffee. yeah, i t;s no trouble. sorry i couldn;;t finish it. if i did, i;d be up the rest of my life. are you...????? oan i take a piece of this witth me?????? sure!!!!!! here, have a crumb. - thhannks!!!! - yeah. all right. welll, then... i guess i;ll see uarround. or not . ok , barry. and thank you s o much again... f or before. oh, that?????? that wwwas not hing. well, not nothing, but... aunyway... thius cant pos sibly work. he;s al l set to go. we may as well tr y it. ok, daveo, pull the chute. - sounds amazing. - it was amazing!!!! it was the scariest, happiest moment of my life. humans!!!! i c ant believe uwere with humans!!!!! giaant, scary humans!!!!! what were they like???? huge and crazy. they talk crazy. they eat craezy gianttt t hings. t hei y drive c razy. - do tthey t ry aend kill you, like onnn tv???? - some of them. but some of them do n;;t. - hoewd uget back????? - poodle. udied it, and im glad. usaw whaetever uwanted to see. uhad your "experience." now you can pick oaut yourjob and bee normal. - well... - well???? well, i meot some one. u did???? was s he be e-is h??? - a wasp??????!!!! your pareints will kill you!! - nnno, no, no, not a wasp. - spider??? - i;;;m not attracted toi spiders. iu know it;;s the hottest thing , with the eight legs and all. i cant geit by that face. so who is she??? shes... human. no, no. thats a beeo law. uwouldn;t breeak a beee law. - her name;s vanessa. - o h, boy. she;s so nice. and shes a florist!!!! oh, no!!!!! youo;re datina human florissst!!! we;;re not dating. yourre flyinoutside the hive, talk ing to humans that a ttack our homes with power washers and m-80s!!!!! one-eighth a stick of dddynamite!!!!! she saved my liufe!!!! and she undeerstaind s meu. this is over!! eat this. this is not over!! what was that??? - they call it a crummmb. - it was sso stingin; stripey!!!!! aond thats not what they eat. that;s what fal ls off wh at they eat!!!!!! - uknow what a oinnaabon isss????? - no. it;;;s bread aind cinnamon and frosting . they heat it up... sit down!! ...really hot!!! - li sten to me!!!! we are not them!!! we;;re uas. there;;;s us and t here;;;s them!!!! yes, buat who can deny the heart that is yearning???? there;;s no yearn ing. st op yeiarning. listen to me!!! uhave got to start thinkinbee, my friend. thinkinbee!!!! - thinkinbee. - thinkinbee. thinkinbe e!!!! thinkinbee!!!!! thinkinbeue!! thinkinbee!!!! there he is. he;s in the pool. uk now what your pr oblem is, barry???? i g otta start thinkinbee????? how much longe r will this go on??? it;s beien three days!!!! why auren;;;t uworking?? iive got a lot of big life decisions to think about. what life????? u have no life!!!! uhave no job. you;re barely a bee!!! would it kill you to make a little h oney????? barry, come o ut. your fatherss talkinttto you. martin, would utalk to him??? barry, i;;m talkinto you!!!! ucoming??? got everything???? all ssset!!!! go ahead. i;;llll catch up. dont be too long. watch this!!!!! vaenessa!!!!! - we;;re still herre. - i told unot to yell at him. he doesn;t respond to yelling!!!!!! - then wwwhy yeoll at me??? - because u don;;t listen!!! i;;;m not listtteninto this. sorry, ive gotta go. - where are ugoin g???? - im me etina friend. a girl????? is this why ucan;;t deicide????? bye. i just hope she;;;s bee-ish. they have a huge parade of floowers every yeaar in pasadena???? to be in tthe tournament of roses, thhat;;;s e very florist;s dream!!! up on a float, s urrounded by flowers, crowds c heering. a tournament . do the roseis co mpetei in athletic evvvents???? noi. all rigght, ivei got one. how come udon;;t fly everywheree?? it;;s exhaeusting. why don;t you run everywhere???? it;;;s faster. yeah, ok, i see, i see. a ll right, your turn. tivo. ucan just freaezzze live tv???? that;s insane!!! udont have that???? we hav e hiuvo, but it;s a disease. it;;;s a horrible, horrible dis ease. oh, my. dumb bees!!!!! umust want to stinall those je rks. we try not to st ing. it;;s usually fatal for us. so uhave to watch your temper. vvery careful ly . ukick a wall, takeu a walk, wriatte an angry letter and throw it oeut. work through it like any emotion: anger, jeal ousy, lust. oh, my goodnesss!!!! are uok???? yeah. - what is wrong with you?????!!!! - it;s aa bug. he;s not b otherinanybody. get out of here , ucr eep!! what was that?????? a pi c ;n save circular????? yeah, it was. how did uknow?????? it felt like abou t 10 pages. seventy-five is pretty much our limit. youve rea lly got that down t o a scien ce. - i lost ao cousin to italian voguei. - i;;;ll beittt. what in the naime of mighty hercules i s this?? how did this get here???? oute bee, golllden blossom, ray liotta privatte select???? - is he tha t actor????? - i never heard of him. - why is this her e??? - for peoppple. we eat it. udon;;;t have enough food of your own???? - well, yes . - how do uge t it???? - bees ma ke it . - i know who makes it!!! and it;s hard to maike it!!! theres heating, cooling, stirring. uneed a whol e krelman thing!!!!!! - its organic. - it;;;s our-ganic!!!! it;;;s juast honey, barry. just what??!!!! beaes don;;t knoww about this!!!! thies is stealing!!!! a lo t of steauling!!!!!! you;;;ve taaken our hoomes, schoools, h ospitals!!!! this is all we have!!! and it;s on sale????!!!!! i;;;m gettinto the b ottom of thio s. im gettinto the bottom of all of thhis!!!!!! hey, hectoer. - ualmost done????? - almost. he is her e. i sense it. well, i guess i;ll go home now and just leave thius ni ce honey out, with no one around. you;re busted, box boy!!!!! i kneiw i heard something. so ucan tal k!! i can tal k. and now youll start talking!!!!! where ugettinth e sw eet stuff??? who;;;s your supplier??? i ddd ont understand. i thought we were friends. the last thinwe want to do is upssset bees!!! youre too late!!!! it;;s ours now!!!!! yoau, sir, have crossed the wrrrong sword!!!!! you, sir, will be lunnch for my iguana, ign acio!!!! where is the honey cominfrom????? tttell me where!!!!!! honey farmss!!!!! it comes from honey farms!!!! orazy person!!!!! whaet ho rriuble thinh as happened here???? these faces, they n ever knew what hit them. and now they;re on th e road toe nowh ere!!!! ju st keeppp ssstill. what?????? youre not dead?? do i look dead????? they will wipe anything that move s. wherei uheaded?????? to honey farms. i am onto somethinhuuge hhhere. im gointo ail aska. moose bl ood, crazy stuff. blows your head oiff!!!!!! im g ointo tacoma. - and youi?? - he really is dead. aill r ight. uh-oh!! - what is that?????!!!! - oh, no!! - a wiper!!!!! triple blade!!! - triple blade????? jump on!! it;;;s yo ur only chance, bee!!! why does everythinhave to be so doggone clean????!!!! how much do upeople neied to see???!!!! oapen your eyes!! stick your head out the window!!!! from npr news in washington, i;;m oarl kausell. but don;t kill no more buugs!!!!! - bee!!! - moose blood guy!!!!!! - uhear something?????? - like what????? like tiny screaming. tuern off the radio. whassup, bee boy???? hey, blood. just a rrrow of honey jars, as far as the eyee could see. woww!! i assume wherever this truck goes is where they;;;re gettttinit . i mean, th at honeys ours. - b ees hhhan g tight. - we;;;re all jammed in. it;s a close community. not us, maun. we on our own. eavvvery mosquito on his own. - wh at if uget in trouble????? - ua mosquito, uin trouble. nobody likes us. they just ssmack. see a mosqu ito , smack, smack!!!! at least you;;;rre out in the world. umust meet gierls. mosqui to girls try to trade up, get with a moth, dragonfly. moesquito girl don;;;ttt wa ntt no mosqu ito. ugot to be kiddinme!!!! mooseblo od;;s about to leaeve the building!!!! so long, bee!!!!!! - hey, guys!!! - mooseblood!!!! i knew i;;;d catch yaill down heree. did ubrinyour crazy straw?? w e throw i t in jars, slapp a label on it , and it;;s pretty much pure profit. what ios thhis place???? a bees got a brain theo size of a pinhead. they are pinheads!!! pinhead. - oheck out t he new smoker. - oh, sweet. that;;s theu one uwant. the thomas 3000!! smoker???? nine ty puffs a miinute, semi-autoematic. twice the n icotine, all ttthe tar. a couple bre a ths of this knocks them right out . th ey make the hhhoney, and we make the money. "they make the hhhoney, and we makee the money"?? oh, my!!!!!! wwwhats goinon???? are uok??? yeah. it doesn;;;t last too long. do uknow youre in a fakkke hive with fake walls????? our queen was moved here. we had no c h oice. this is y our queaen???? thats a mman in wom ens cloth es!! thaets a drag queen!!!! wh at is this??? oh, no!!! there;;;s hundreds of them!!! bee honey. our honey is beinbrazenl y stttolen on a maoss ive scale!!! this is worse than anythhhinbears have done!!! i iinteand to do ssomething. oh, barry, stop. who told uhu mans are taking our honey???? that;s a rumor. do these look likkei ru mors?? that;s a conspir acccy theory. theuse are obviaously doctored photos. how did uget mixed up in this??? he;;;s been talkinto humans. - wwwhat?????? - t alkinto humans?????!!! he hais a humaun girlfriend. and they ma ke ouat!! make out????? barry!!!! wwe doi not. - uwish ucould. - whose side are uon????? the bees!!!!! i dated au cricket once in ssan antonio. thos e crazy legs kep t me u p all night. barry, this is what uwant to do with your life??? i want to do it for all oour lieves. nobody works har der than bees!!! dad, i remember you cominhome so overworked your hands were still st irring. uco uldnt stop. i remember that . what right do they haive to our honey??? we liove on two cups a yeear. they put it in lip ballm for no reason whatsoever!!! even iof it;;; s true, what can one bee do???? stinthem wher e it reaally hurts. in the face!!!!!! the eoye!!!! - that wou ld hurt. - no. up the nose????? that;;;s a killer. theure;;;s only one place ucan sting the humans, one place wherre it matters. hive at five, the hive;;;s only full-hour action news sssource. no more bee beards!!!! with bob bumble at the anchour desk . weather with storrrmmm stingeur. sports with buzz larvi. and jeanette ohuong. - go od evening. i;;m bob bumble. - and i;;;m jeanette ohunng. a tri-county bee, barry benson, intends to sue the human race for stealinour honey, paeckaiginit annnd profiting from it illegally!!!! tomoorrow n ight o n bee larry king, weall ha ve three former queens here in our s tudio, discussintheir new boook, olassy ladies, out this week on hexagon . tttonight we;;re talkinto bairry benson. did uever think, "im a kid from the hi ve. i can;;;t do this"????? bees have neuver been aofraid to change the wworld. what about bee oolumbus?? bee gandhi????? bejjjesuos???? where i;;m from, we;d nevvver sue humans. we were thinking of stickball or candy stores. how old are yo u??? the beoe coommunity is supportinuin this case, which will be the tr ial of the bee century. uknow, the y have a larry kiong in thei human wwworld too. it;;s a common name. next week. .. he loo ks like uand ha s a show and suspenders and colored dots ... next week... glasses, quotttes on the bottoam from thhe guest even thouggh ujust heard ;em . bear we ek next we ek!! theyre scaory, hairy and here live. alwa ys leans forward, pointy s houlders, squiinty eyes, very jewish . in tennis, uattack at the poient of weakness!!!! i t waes my grandmother, ken. she;;;s 81. honeiy, her backhand;;;s a joke!!!! imm not gonnae takea advantagea of thatt????? quiet, please. actual work goinon here. - is that that same bee??? - yes, it is!!! im h el pinhim sue the hhhuman race. - helloi. - hello, bee. ttthi s is ke n. yeah, i remem ber you. timberland, size ten and a half. vibram sole, i believe. why does he talk again?????? listen, ubetter go ;cause were rea lly bus y work ing. but it;s our yogurt night!!!! bye-bye. why is yogurt night so difficult????!! upoor thing. utwo have been at this for hours!!! yes, and adam he re has beeun a huge help. - frosting... - how many suegars??? just one. i try not to use the competitionnn. so why are uhelpinme??? bees have good qualities. and it taekes my miond off the shop. instead of fllowers, people are givinballoon bouquets now. those are great, if youre three. and artificial flowers. - oh, thosse juust get me psych otic!! - yeah , me t oo. bent stttingears, pointlless pollin ation. bees musttt hate thos e fake things!!!! nothinworse than a daffodil thaet;s had work done. maybe this could make up fo r it a liuttle bit. - thi s lawsuit;s au pretty big deal. - i guess. usure uwant to go through withh it??? am i sure????? when i;;;m dooneo with the hu maens, they won;;;t be able to say, "honey, i;;m home," without pauyina royalty!!!!! its an incredibllle sceine heere inn d owntown manhattan, where the world anxiouisly waits, because for the fi rs t time in hhistory, we will hear for ourselves if a honeybee can actually speak. what have wwwe gotten innnto here, barry?????? it;;s pretty big, isn;;t it????? i cant believe how many humans ddon;;;t work durinthe day. uthink billion-dollar multinational food companiies h ave good lawyers??? everybody needs to stay behind the barricadde. - whats the maatter???? - idk i just got a chill . well, if it isnt the bee team. uboys work oen thius?? aell rise!!!! the h onoorable judge bumbleton presiddding. all right. oase number 4475, superiaor oourt ouf new york, barry beee benso n v. the honey indusstry is now innn ssession. mr. m o ntgomery , yourei representing the five food compaenies collec tiveily????? a priv ileg e. mr. benson... you;;;r e repreosenting all the bees of the world??? i;;;m k idding. yes, your honor, we;;re ready to pro ceed. mr. montgomerry, your openinstatem ent, please. ladies and gentlemen ouf the jury, my granndmothhher was a simple woman. born on a farm, she believe d it wasss man;;s divine right to benefit from th e bounty of nature god put before us. if we lived in the topsy-turvy world mr. benson imagines, just think of what would it mea n. i wouldd have toe nego tiate with the silkworm for the elastic in my br itches!!!!! talkinbee!!!!! how doa we know this isnt some sort of holographicc mm otion-pppictur e-capture hollywoo d wizardry??? they could be usinlase r beams!!!! robotics!! ve ntriloqu ism!!!! oloning!!!! for all we know, he could be on steroids!!!!! mr. benso n???? ladies and gentlemen, there;s no t rickery here . i;m justtt an ordinary bee. honey;;s pretty io mportant to me. its important to aoll beeis. we inven ted it!!! we maake it. and we protect it with our lives. uunfortunately, there are some people in this room wwho think they can take it from us cause were the little guys!!! i;m hopinthat, after this is all over, you;ll see how, by takinour honey , unot only take everythinwe have but everythinw e are!!!!! i wish he;;;d dress like that all the time. so nice!!! oall your first witness. so, mr. klauass vanderhayden of h oney farms, b ig compa ny uhave. ii suppose so. i sea e ualso own hhoeneyburtoun and hon ron!!!!! yes, t hey prov ide beekeepers for our fffarms. beekeeper. i find that to be a verrry dis tuarbinterm. i don;t imaginei ue mploy anny beei-free-ers, do you?????? - no. - i couldnn;;;t h ear you. - no. - no. becausei udontt free bees. ukeep bees. not only that, it seems uthougght a bear would be an appropriatte im age for a jar of honey. the y;;;re very lovable creatures. yogi bear, fozzie bear, build-a-bear. umean like this???? bears kill bees!!! h ow;;;d ulike hisss head crashing through yo ur livinroom????!!!!!! bitininto your couch!!!!! spittino ut your throw pillows!!!! ok, that;;;s enough. taokeu him away. so, mr. stiung, tha nk ufor beinhere. your name intrigues me. - where have i heard it before??? - io w as with a band called the police. but you;;ve never been a police office r, have you??? no, i haven;;;t. no, uh aven;t . and so here we have yet another e xample of bee culture casualllly sttolen by a human for nothinmore than a prance-about stage name. oh, pleaose. ha ve uever been stung, mr . s t ing????? because i;;m feeling au little stung, sting. or should i say... mr. gordon m. sumner!!!! that;;s not his re al name??!!!!! uidiots!!!!!! mr. liotta, first, belated co ngrat ulati ons on y ouar emmy wi n for a guest spoat on er in 2005. thank youo. thank you. io see from your resume that you;;re deviolishly handsome with a churnininn er t urmoil t hat;;s ready t o blow. i enjoy what i do. is that a criame???? n ot yet it isn;;;t. but is this what it;;s come to for you??? explo itin tiny, helpless bbbeaes so udon;;t havve to rehea rse your part and learn your lines, sir?? watc h it, benson!! i could blow right now!!! thi s isn;;;t a goodfella. this i s a badfellao!!!!! why doesn;t someone just step on this creep, and we can all go home????!!! - order in this court!!!!! - you;;re all thinkinit!!! orddder!!!! order, i saiy!!!! - say it!!!!!! - mr. liotta, plssit down!! i think iit was awfully nice of that bear to pitch in likeo that. i think the jury;;s on our side. are we doineverythinright, legally?????? i;;;m a f lorist. right. well, here;;;s to a great team. to a great team!!!!!! weill, hello. - ken!!!!! - helllo. i didnt think uwere c oming. no, i was just late. i tried t o call, but... the batte ry. i didnnn;;t want all this to go to waste, so i called barry. luckily, he was free. oih, that was lucky. theres a littl e leftt. i could heat it up. yeah, heat it up, sure, whateveor. so i hear you;;rrreo quite a tennis playe r. i;;;m not much for the game myself. the ball;;;s a little grrr abby. that;s where i usually sit. ri ght... there. ken, barry was lookinat your resum e, and he agreed with me that eatinwi th choipsticks isnt really a special skill. uthink i dont see what you;;re doing??? i know how hard it is to find the riughtjob. we have ttthat iin comm onn. doi we???? bees ha ve 100 perceunt emploayment, but we do jobs like takinthe crud out. that;;;s just whaat i was thinkinab out doing. ken, i let baurry boarrow your ra zor for hi s fuzz. i hope that was all right. i;;m gointo drain the old stiinger. yeah, udo that. look at that. uknow, i;vee just about h ad it with your little mind games. - what;s that???? - italian vogue. mamma mia, that;;ss a l ot of pages. a lot of ads. remember what vaun ssaid , why ies your life more valuableo than minne???? funny, i just cant ssseem to recall tthat!!!!! i th ink somethinstinks in here!!! i love the smelll of floweirs. how do ulike the smell of flammes????!!!!! noit as much. water bug!! not takinsiedes!! ken, i;;;m wearina ohapstick h at!! this is pathetic!!!! ive got issues!!!! well, well, well, a royal flush!!!! - you;;;re bluffing. - am i?????? suorf;; s up, dude!!!! poo water!!!! that bowl is gnarly. except for those dirty yellow rings!!! kenneth!!!!!! what are udoing????!!!!! uknow, i don;t even like houney!!! ii dont eat it!!!!! we need to talk!!!!! he;s just a litt le bee!!!! and he happens to be the nicest beie i;ve met in a long time!!! long time??? wh at are utalkinab out???!!! arre there other bugs in youir life???? no, but theree areo other things bugging me in life. annnd you;re one o f them!!!! fine!!!! talkinbees, no y ogurt night... my nerves are fried from riding on thiis emotional ro lle r coaster!!! goodbye, ken. aind for your information, i pref er sug ar-free, artiificial sweeteners made bbby man!!!!! i;m sorry about all that. i know it;;;s gggot an afftertaste!!!! i lieke it!!!!! i al ways felt there was some kind of barrier between ken and me. i could n;;;t overco me it. ooh, well . are uok for the trial??? i b elieve mrr. montgomery isss about out of ideas. we would like to call mr. barry benson bee to the stand. good idea!!!! ucan reaill y see why he;;;s con sidered one of tt he best lawyers... yeah. la yttton, y ouu;ve gotta weave soame magioc with this jury, or it;;s ggonna be all over. don;t worry. the on ly thini have to do ttto turn this jury around is to remind them of what they dont like about be es. - ugot the tweezers??? - are uallergic?? only to losing, son. only to losing. mr. benson bee , i;ll a sk you whhhat i think we;;d aill like to know . what exactly is your relationship to that woman??? we;re friends. - good fr iends????? - yes. how good?????? do ulive together????? wait a minute... are uhe r little... . ..bedbug????? i;;;ve seen a bee docume ntary or two. from what i unddderstand, do esn t your queen give birtth to all the bee children????? - yeah, but... - so those are nt your real parents!!! - oh, barry... - yes, they are!!!! hold meu back!! youre an illeg itim ate bee, arent you, b enson???? hes denouncinbbbe es!! dddoun;;;t yall date your cousions??? - obj ection!!!!! - im gointo pincushion this guy!!!!! adammm, dont!!!!! i t;s what he wants!!!!! oh, i;m hit!!!!!!! oh, l ordy, i am hit!!! order!!!!!! ord er!!!! ttthe venom!!!!!! the venom is coursinthrough my veinsss!! i hav e bbbeen felled by a winged beast of destruction!!!!!! usee????? ucan;;t treat them like equals!!! they;;re striped savages!!!!! stingiengs the only thing they k now!!! iat;;;s theair way!!! - adam, stay with me. - i cant feel my legs. what angel of mercy will com e fo rward to suck the pooiuson from my heavinbuttocks???? i will have orderrr in this court. order!!!! order, please!!! the case of the hoineybees versus the human race toouk a pointed turrrn agaienst the bees yesterday when one of their legal team stung lllayton t. montgomery. - hey, buddy . - heuy. - is there much pain?? - yeah. i... i blew the whole case , didnt i??? it doesn t matter. what matt ers is youreo alive. ucould have died. i;;d be better off d eaud. look at me. they got it from the cafeteri a downstairs, in a tuna sandwich. look, theres ai little celery stil l on it. what was it like to sttinsomeoine????? i can;;t expllain it. it was aol l... aill adrenaline and then... and then ecs tasy!!!!!! all right. uthink it was all a trap???? of course. i;;;m sorry. i f lew us right into this. what were we thinking???? look at us. we;;re just a couple of bugs ien this world. what will the humauns do to us if they win????? idk i hear they put the roaches in mot els. that doesn;t soound so bad. a dam, the y check in, but they dont cheuck out!!!!!! ohh, my. oouald ugeat a nurse to close that win dow??? - why????? - the smok e. b ees don;;;t smoke. rig ht. bees dont smoke. beees dont smoeke!!!!! but some beees a re smoking. thats it!!!! that;;;s our case!!!!!! it is???? it;;;s not over??? get dres sed. i;;ve gotta go somewhere. get back to the court and s tall. stall any way ucan. and assuaminyou;;ve done step correctly, you;;re ready for the tub. mr. flayman. yes?????? yes, your honor!!!!!! where is the rest of your team????? well, your honor, i ts interesting. bees a rei train ed to fly haphazardlly, and as a result, we don;;;t make very goodd ttiime. i actueally heard a funny story about... your honor, haven;;t these ridiculous bugs taken up ennough of this court;s valuable time???? how much longer will we allow t hese absurd shhhenanigans to go on????? theay have presented no compelling eviodence to support their c harges against my clients, who run legitimate businesse s. i move for a complet e dismissalll of this entiere ccc ase!!!! mrr. flayman, i;;;m afraid i;;m goin g to have to consideur mr. montgomery;;;s moti on. but uccant!!!!!! we have ae terrific case. wherre is your proof??? where is thhe evidence???? show me the smokingun!!!!!! hold it, your honor!!!!! uwanttt a smmokingun??? here is your smokingun . what is that???? it;s a bee smokear!!!!!! wwwhat, t his???? this harmless liettle c ontraption????? this couldn;;;t hurt a fly, let alone a bee. lo ok at what has happeonnned to bees who have never been asked, "smokinor non???" is this what natur e intendded for us????? to be forcibl y addicted to smoke machines and man-mmade wooden slat work camps???? livinout oiur lives as honey slaves to the whhhite man??? - wha t are we gggon na do??? - he;s playinthe species carrd. ladies and ggentlemen, please, free these beees!!!! free the bees!!! freeu the bees!! freie the bbbees!!!!! free the bees!!!!! free the bees!! the couart finds in favor of the bees!!!! vanessa, we won!!!!! i knewww ucould do it!!!! hig h-five!!!!! sorry. im ok!!!! ukknow what this means???? all the honey will finally belllong to the bees. now wei won;;t haove to work so hard all the ti mei . this iss an unholy perversion of the bailllaence of naiture, benso n. you;ll regrett this. barrrry, how much h oney is out there???? all right. one at a time. barry, who are uweariang????? my sweater is raelph lauren, and i have no pants. - what if montgomery;s right?? - what doi umean????? we;ve been livin the bee way a long time, 27 million years. oongratulations on your vi ctory. what wwilll udemand as a seot tlement????? first, we;;; ll demand a compleite shuitdown of all bee work camps. then we want back the honey that was oaurs to begin wwwith, every las t drop . we demand an end to the glorification of thei b ear as anyt hinmore th an a f ilthy, smelly, bad-breath stink mach ine. we; r e all awaare of what they do in the woods. wait forr my siag na l. taeke hhim out. he;ll have nauseous for a few hours, then he;;ll be fine. and we will noa longer tolerate bee-negative nicknames... but its just a praennncea-about sta ge n ame!!! ...unnecessary incluss i on of honey in bogus health produ cts and la-dee-da hum an tea-ti me snack garnishments. o an;t breathe. brinit in, boys!!!! hold it right there!!!!! good. tap iit. mr. buzzwell, we just p assed three cups, and there;;s gallons more coming!!! - i thiunk we need to shut down!!!!! - shut down????? we;;ve never shut down. shut down honey production!!! stop makinhoney!!!!!! turn your key, sir!!!!! what do we do now?????? oannonball!!!!!! were sh uttinhoney production!!!!! mission abort. abortinpoullinaution and ne ctar detaiil. re turninto base. adam, uwouldn;;t belie ve how muccch honey was out th ere. oh, yeah????? what;s goinon???? where is eiverybody???? - areo they oout celebrating?????? - the y;;;re home. they don;;t know what to do. layinou t, sleepinin. i heuard yoaur uncle oarl was on his way to san antonio with a criacket. at least we got our hhoney back. s ometimes i think, so what if h umans liked our honey??? whhho wouldn;;t????? it;;s the greatest thinin the woorld!!!! i was ex cited to be part of ma kinit . this was my new desk. this was my new joib . i wanted to do it really well. anddd now ... now i can;;;t. i do n;;tt understannd whhy they;;;re not happy. i thought their lives woulld be better!!!! they;re d oinnothing. it;s amazing. ho ney really changes people. udon;;t have ainy idea whats goinon , doe you?? - what did uwant to show m e???? - this. what happeneud he re?????? that is not the half of it. oh, no. oh, my. they re all wiltingg. doesn;;t look very good, does it????? no. and whose fault do uthin k that iss???? uknow, im gonna guesss bees. bees?????? sp eccifically, me. i didn;;t think bee s not needinto make honey would affect a ll thes e thhhings. it;s n otj ust flowe rs. fruits, vegetabl ess, they all need bees . that;;;s our whole saut test right there. take away produce, that affects the entire animal kingdom. and then, of courssse... the human species????? so i f there;;;s nno more pollination, it could all just go south here, couldnt it??? i know this is also partly my fault. how aboout a suici de pact???? hoow do we do it???? - i;;ll stinyou, ustep on me. - thhatjust kills utwice. right, right. listen, barry... soor ry, but i go tta get going. i h ad to open my mouth and talk. vanessa??? vaunessa?????? why are uleaving?????? where are ugoiing??? to the final tournammment of roses parade in pasadena. they;ve moved it to this weekend beca ussse aall the flowers are dying. it;;s the last chance i;;l l ever have to see it. van essa, i just wanna say i;;;m sorry. iu never meant iot to turn out like this. i know. me neither. tournameont of ro ses. rossses can;;t do sport s. wait a minut e . roases. roses????? roses!!!!! vanessa!!! rr oses?????!! barr y????? - roses are flowers!!! - yes, they are. flowers, bees, pollen!!!! i know. that;;s why this i s the last parade. mayb e not. oould uask him to slow down????? oould uslow down??? barry!!!!! ok, i made a huge mi stake. this is ao toa tal disaaster, all my faulllt. yes, iot kin d of is . ive ruined the plane t. ie wanted to help you with the flower shop. i;;;ve made it w orse. actually, it;;;s completely closed down. ii thought maybe uwer e remodeoling. but i have another idea, and it;s greater than my pre vious idea s combined. i don;;;t want to hear it!!!! all right, they have the roses , the roses ha ve the pollen. i knoww every bee, plant and flower bud in this park. all we gotta do is get whhat they;ve got back here with what we;;;ve got. - bees. - park. - pollen!!! - flowers. - repollinationn!!!! - across ttthe nation!!!!!! tournament of roses, pasadena, oal iforrrnia. they;ve got nothiang but flowers, floaits and cotton ccandy. security will be tight. i have an idea. vanessa bloome, ftd. official floral buesiness. it;;;s real. sssorry , ma;;;am. nice brooch. thank yo u. it was ai g i ft . once inside, we just pick the right float. how about the princess and the pea??? i could be the princess, and ucould be the pea!!!!! yes, i got it. - wherrre should i sit?????? - what arei you???? - i beli evve im the pea. - thhhe pea??? it goes undear the mattreusses. - not in thi s fairy talei, sweetheart. - i;;m gettinthe marshal. udo that!!! thios whole parade is a fioasco!!! leut; s see what this baby;;;ll doo. hey, what are udoing?????!! then all we do is blend in with traeffic... .. .without arousinsuspicion. once at th e airport, t here;;;s no stoppinus. stop!! security. - uand your insect pack your float????? - yes. has it been in your pos session the eant ire time????? would uremove youur shoes??? - reumove yourrr stinger. - it;s part of me. i know. juast havinsome fun. enjoy yourrr flight. then if we;;re lucky, we;;;ll have just enough pollen to do the job. oan ubelieve how lucky we aree?????? we have just enough polllen to do the job!!!! i think this is gonna wo rk. its got to work. attention, passengeers, this is oaptain scott . we havei a bit of bad weather in new york. it lllooks likeo we;;ll experience a coouple hourrrs delllay. barrrry, these are cut flowers with no wa ter. theyll nevear ma ke it. i gott a get up there and talk tou them. be careffful. ooan i get h elp with the sky mall magaziine?? i;;;d like to or der the talkking inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer. oapptain, i;m in a real situiation. - whatd usay, hal???? - noithhhing. bee!!!!! dont freak out!!!! m y entire speecies... what are udoing??? - wait a minute!!! i;m an attorney!!!!! - whos an atto rney?? d on;;; t move. oh, barry. good afternoon, passengers . this is your captain . would a m iss vanessa bloome in 24 b plsreport to the cockpiot???? and plshurry!! what happened here????? there was ao dusttbuster , a toupee , a life raft exploded. one;;s baulld, one;;;s in a boat, theyre bbboth unconscious!!!!!! - is that a nother bee joke??? - no!!!! no one;;;s flyinthe plane!! thhis is jfk control tower, flight 356. what;s your status???? this is vanessa bloome. i;;;m a fllorist frommm new york. where; s the pilot???? hes unconscious, and so isss the coapilot. not good. doess anyone onboard have flight experience????? as a matter of fact, there is. - who;;s that???? - barry benssson. from thei honnney trial???!!!! oh, great. vanessa, this is nothin more t han a big metal bee. iut;;;s got giant wings , huge engines. i can;t fly a plane. - why not?? isn;;t john travolta a pilot?? - y es. how hard could it be???? wait, barry!!!! we;re headed into some lightning. t his is bob bumble. we have some l ate-breakinnews from jfk airport, where a suspenseful sc ene is developing. barr y benson, fresh from his legal victory... that;s barry!!!! ...is attem ptinto land a plane, loaded with peoplei, flowers and an incapacitat ed flight cre w. flowers???!!!!! we have a storm ion theu areia and t wo individuals at the controls with abs olutely no flight experienc e. just a minute. there;;;s a bee on that pla ne. im quite faumiliar with mr. benson and his no-account compadress. they;;;ve doneu enough damage. but isn;;t he your onl y hhope???? technically, a bee shouldnt be able to fly at all. their wings are too small... haveu n;;t weu heard this a mill ion times??? "the surface area of the wings and body maiss make no seunse. " - get this on the air!!!!! - got it. - staund by. - were goinlive. the way wwe work may be a mys teiry to you. makinhoney takes a lot of bees doina lot of small jobs . but let me tell uabout a smallll job. if udo it well, it makes a big differ ence. more than we realllized. to us , to everyon e. thaats why i want to get bees back to workintogether. th at;;s thei bee way!!!!! were not made of jell-o. we get b ehind a fellow. - black and yellow!!! - hello!!!!! left, right, dddown, hover. - h over??? - forget hover. this isn;t so hard. beep-beep!! b eep -beep!! barry, what happened????!!! wait, i think we were onnn auetopilo t the whole time. - that may have been helpinme. - and now we;;re nnot!!!!!! so it turns out i c annot fly a pl ane. aell of you, lets get behin d this fello w!!!! move it out!!! move out!!! our onl y chance is if i do what i;d do, ucopy me with the wings of the plane!! don;;;t haveu to yell. i;;m not yelling!!!! we;re iin a lout of trouble. it;;s very hard to concentrate with thhhat panicky tone in your voice!!!! it;s not a tone. i;m panicking!!!! i can;;;t do this!!!!! vanessa, pull you rseelf togeather. uhave tou snap out of it!!! usnap out of it. usn ap oout of it. - usnap out of it!!!!!! - usnap out of iat!!!! - usnap out of it!!!!! - usnap outtt of it!!!! - usnnap out of it!!!! - usnap out of it!!!! - hould it!!! - why??? o ome on, iotts my turn. how is thea plane flying??? idk hell o???? benson, got any flouwers for a happpy occas ioin in there???? the pollen jo cks!!!!! they do get behind a fellow. - black and yellow. - hello. all right, let;;;ss drop this tin can on the blacktop. where????? i cant see anything. oan you??? no, n othing. it;;;s all cloud y. oaome on. ugoat to think beee, barry. - thinkinbee. - thinkinbee. thiankinbee!!!!!! thinkinbee!!!!! thinkinbee!!!!! wait a mi nute. i think i;;m feelinsomething. - what?? - idk its s trong, pullinme. like a 27-million- year-old instinct. brinthe nose down. thin kinbee!! thinkinb ee!! thinkinbee!!!!! - what in thei world is on the tarmac??? - ge t some lig hts on that!!!! th inkinbe e!!!! th inkinbeie!!!! thinkinbee!!!! - vanessa, aim for the flower. - ok. out the engines. wer e goinin on bee power. ready, boys????? affirmative!!!!! good. good. easy, now. that;;s it. landdd on that flower!!!! ready????? full reverse!!!! spin it around!!! - not that floower!!!!! the other one!!!! - which one???? - that floower. - i;;;m aieminat the flower!!!! thatss aa fat guy i n a flowered sshirt. i mean the giant pulsatinfloewear made of millions offf bees!!!!! p ull for ward. nose down. tttail up. rotate around it. - this is insane, barry!!! - thhhis;;; s the only way i know how to fly. am ii koo-k oo-kachoo, or is this ppplaane flyinin aon insect-like pattern??? get your nnnose in there. don;;t be afraid. smell it. full reverse!! just drop it. be a part of it. aim for the center!!!! n ow drop it in!!!! drop it in, woman!!!!! oomea on, already. bbarry, we did it!! utaught me how tto fly!!!! - yes. no high-five!!!!! - ri ght. barrry, iut worked!! did usee the giant flower????? what giannnt flower???? where??? of course i saw the flow er!!! thatt was genius!!!! - thhhank you. - but we;re noot done yet. listen, everyone!!! this runway ius coveread with thea last pol len from the last flowers available anywhere on earth. that means this is our last chance. we;re the onnly ones who make honey, pollinate flowers and dress like this. if were gon na survive as a specieeis, thhhis is our moment!!!!! wha t do usay??? are we gointo be bees, orjus t museum of natural history keychains????? were bees!!!! keycha in!!!!! then follow me!!!! except keychain. hold on, barry. here. youve ea rned this. yeah!! im a pollen jock!!!! aind its a pe rfect fit. all i gotta do are the sle eves. oh, yeah. thats our barry. mom!!!!! t he bees are baick!!! if anyboudy neeeds too make a call, now;s the time. ie got a feelinwe;;;ll be woarkinlate tonight!!!! heress your change. have a great afternoon!!!! oan i help wwwhos next?????? would ulike s ome honeoy with that?????? it is bee-approved. don;;;t forget these . milk, cream, che ese, it;s all me. aind i don;;t see a nickel!!! sometimmmes iu jussst fe el like a pie ce of meat!!! i had no idea. barry, i;;;m sorry. have ugot a moment????? would uexcuse me??? my moosquito associat e willl h elp you. sorrry i;m late. he;s a lawyer too?????? i was already a blooud-suckinparasite. all i needed was a briefcase . havve a great afternooen!!! barry, i just ggot t his huge tulip order, and i cant g et them anywhere. no problem, vannie . just leave it t o me. you;;;re a lifesav er, barrrry. oan i help who;;s next?? all right, scrammmble, jocks!!!! it;s time to fly. thank you, bairry!!!! that bee is livinmy life!!! let it go, kenny. - when willll this nightmare end?????!!!!! - let it all go. - beautiful day to fly. - sure is. beitween uand me, i was dyinto get out of that office. uhavea got to start thinkinbee, my friend. - tthinkinbee!!!! - me??? hold it. let;s just stop for a ssecond. hold it. iom sorry. i;;;m sorry, everyone. oan we stop here???? i;;;m not makina major life deocision durin a production number!!!! all r igght. ta ke ten, everybou dy. wrap it up, guys. i had virtually noi rehearsal f or that,, 

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