I have always loved people in a way that would allow them to tear me apart. it took me far too long to realize I should stop loving people who are willing to do that to me.
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to the ones who were meant to beat the odds, meant to succeed where others had failed, who've felt the weight of expectation on their shoulders since they could hold their head up alone. those who know the feeling of peering eyes & judging whispers in their ears.
to those who were meant to be the best, & did not reach those hopes, you did wonderfully. your efforts are not in vain, no matter how bitter their words may be.
you tried. it wasn't easy, so you fought. search for that pride inside of yourself & once you find it, cling on hard. you've stayed, so you've won.
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“But when someone's gone and you're the primary keeper of his memory-letting go would be a kind of murder, wouldn't it? I had so much love for him, even if it was a complicated love, and where is all that love supposed to go? He was gone, so it couldn't change, it couldn't turn to indifference. I was stuck with all that love.”
Rebecca Makkai, The Great Believers
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GREEN
I love green
As in the "look out my window" green
I love green
As in the "my grandma's curtains" green
I love green
As in the "veins I can see on his wrist" green
I love green
As in the " a leaf left unplugged on an orange" green
I love green
As in the " happiness of an ice cream which comes from note my mum gave me" green
I love green
As in the " sight of a blurry hop made by a little frog in the monsoon" green
I love green
As in the " him standing with a stalk of rose on my doorstep" green.
I love green
As in the " I can't fit the infinite leaves dancing with air in my eyes when I stand beneath a tree" green
I love green
As in " the flared top my mom wore on my 3rd birthday for a poloroid" green
I love green
As in " that cup I drank tea in at my friend's house when her mother knew I had cold" green
I love green
As in the " smell of his new Cologne" green
I love green
I love green
I love love green .
-k.
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summer class day 3: marketing ethics ੈ✩‧₊˚
today’s notes only took about ~40 minutes! the summer class is going great so far! most of it is material i already know from taking the coursera/google certificate course in digital marketing.
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✨When he asks you to teach him your mother tongue >>>>>✨
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my hands are rough.
my nails are dirty.
I have been busy digging graves for every version of myself.
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Will you still be my best friend if I told you that I love you with all my soul, that I want to see your eyes first thing in the morning, that I want to be there for you when you cry, when you smile, I want to be there with you when days are cold, dark and full of agony, will you still be my bestfriend after I confess my love of eternity for you or will you leave me to rot like everyone else did?
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“How many graves will i need, to bury everything that died inside of me?”
Naya Aknis
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