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immaturityofthomasastruc · 3 years

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Gabriel Agreste: Interesting Villain, Horrible Character (400 Follower Special)

I'm honestly surprised more people didn't want me to talk about Gabriel, especially with how often I rag on how horrible of a person he is. But, three character analysis posts later, and we're going to talk about why the main villain of Miraculous Ladybug is a real letdown.

Gabriel Needs to give the Whining a Rest

The interesting thing is one of the few things I actually liked in Season 3 was Hawkmoth. His plans actually made sense (for the most part), and by playing the long game, he managed to turn Chloe against Ladybug and deprived her of several key allies. Granted, Season 4 immediately undid the latter, but I was still impressed by his strategy.

Generally, one of the better aspects of Gabriel as a character was just how over the top he was as Hawkmoth. Keith Silverstein is clearly giving it his all with his performance, and he is just so enjoyable to watch as a cartoonish supervillain.

And therein lies the first major problem with Gabriel as a character. While he is fun to watch as a simple supervillain, the show tries to give him more depth and unintentionally makes him worse.

In Season 2, when it was revealed that Gabriel was Hawkmoth, many fans speculated on what he needed the Miraculous for, until the Queen Bee Trilogy showed it was to save his possibly dead wife, Emilie. The idea of that is so the show can give more depth to its main villain, and I think it's an interesting idea in concept. After all, the road to Hell is paved with good intentions.

The problem is just how radically different Gabriel is normally compared to how he is as Hawkmoth. He always goes on about how he's “doing this for Emilie”, but it's hard to really sympathize with him when you consider he constantly gives evil monologues and evil laughs, really getting into the supervillain role. And let's not forget all of the “I'm going to wear Ladybug's skin as a suit” faces he loves to make.

Clearly this man is the picture of mental stability.

Gabriel's motivation for being Hawkmoth when compared to what he actually does as Hawkmoth is shady enough, but the thing is that the writers clearly want the audience to at least feel a little bad for him. They want to make the audience sympathize with him despite the way he acts with or without the mask. Without Miraculous Ladybug, he is routinely putting innocent lives in danger and never once shows regret for his actions. All he talks about is how “he's doing this for Emilie”, or that “he'll get their Miraculous soon”. There's no real reason to feel bad for him other than “because the script says so”.

Let's compare Gabriel to Malcolm Merlyn from Arrow. His big plan in the first season of the show is to create a machine that will cause an earthquake to destroy a crime-infested portion of Starling City, claiming to be trying to help everyone, but it's clear he is only doing it out of revenge for his wife getting killed by a criminal from that part of the city. In addition, throughout that season and future seasons, he always makes sure his plans lead to him benefiting in some way, showing he isn't just some noble man trying to achieve his goals with a less than noble method.

If we got some moments that showed that what Gabriel was doing was selfish, it would make him a more complex villain. But we don't get anything like that. What do we get instead? Well...

I Could Really Care Less About Emilie Agreste

We have known Gabriel's motivation has been to save his wife for a little over two years at this point, but at the same time, it's hard to believe that motivation because of how underdeveloped Emilie is as a character.

There have been a total of two lines in the entirety of the show that explain what happened to Emilie, and they're both vague as hell. One of them was from “Feast” that implied Emilie used the broken Peacock Miraculous.

Adrien: My mom used to have dizzy spells… just like Nathalie.

And the other that outright tells the audience what's happening to her in a clip show that most people will skip.

Nathalie: As I've watched Emilie falling deeper into an endless sleep, my sadness for her has deepened, too

That is literally all we get for an explanation, and nothing else. We have no idea of what she's like as a person or what her relationship with her family was like other than Gabriel and Adrien saying they miss her. Other than the way the narrative says she's important to Gabriel and Adrien, we don't really have a reason to care about her as a character. There have also been some lines that imply she went along with Gabriel's questionable parenting techniques, like how he was apparently only homeschooled as a kid (Origins) and never had a birthday party growing up (The Bubbler), so how do we even know if she's a good person? In fact, why not set up this question as a mystery to make the audience wonder if Gabriel has another reason to bring Emilie back?

It ultimately turns Emilie into a plot device and not a character that Gabriel and Adrien only bring up to make the audience feel bad for them, and meant to justify Gabriel's actions by saying that he's “doing this for his family”.

But hey, if he's doing this all for his family, surely Gabriel's redeeming traits come from his relationship with Adrien, right? Right?

As a Parent, Gabriel is Far From the Best

I've talked about this briefly before, but parenting in Miraculous Ladybug is written in such a black and white way, even by the standards of this show. Parents are portrayed in one of two ways. They're either amazing people who love and support their children unconditionally, or they're awful people who treat their own children like trash. And much like a lot of things in this show, there are times where the latter is treated like the former.

There are so many times where the narrative insists on making you see Gabriel as a troubled, but wellmeaning person who tries his best to be a good parent to Adrien, but it is far from the truth.

I'm not going to beat around the bush. Gabriel is a terrible parent. Like, he is awful at being a parent in so many ways, even before you find out he's Hawkmoth. In his first appearance, “The Bubbler”, he delegates getting Adrien a birthday present to Nathalie, his assistant. He literally can't be bothered to take time out of his schedule to get his own son a present for his birthday. And as the show goes on, he becomes more controlling and forbids Adrien from going out with his friends in other episodes (Captain Hardrock, Silencer). While this could be used to show Gabriel getting worse, it's never acknowledged in-universe, with Adrien continually defending his father essentially keeping him on house arrest.

“But IOTA!” You might say. “Gabriel has made efforts to bond with his son in some episodes.” While that might be true, most of those come right after his Akumas have almost gotten Adrien killed. He only hugged Adrien and made an attempt to learn more about him after Simon Says invaded their home, he only decided to watch that movie Emilie was in with Adrien after Gorizilla nearly dropped him off a building, and he only hugged Adrien again in public after he was turned into a gold statue by Style Queen.

In fact, let's talk about how Gabriel acts in the Queen Bee Trilogy. He actually decides to quit being Hawkmoth, but it's not because he realizes all the damage he's caused. Instead, he gave up because his “magnum opus”, a stronger than usual Akuma that only got the advantage on Ladybug ironically because of dumb luck, failed. Sure, he says he can't keep putting his son in danger, but he rarely ever acknowledges that he does so in the first place. When Riposte wanted to fight Adrien, Hawkmoth did nothing to stop her other than giving her a stern warning earlier on and nothing else. Where was this attitude earlier?

Hell, even then, he immediately goes back to being Hawkmoth as soon as he sees an opportunity, not even a day after his “mAgNuM oPuS” blew up in his face (because I guess Scarletmoth was just Plan B). If he made such a big deal about caring for his son, why didn't he try harder to spend time with him? Has he ever had doubts about what he's doing before? If Chloe didn't show up as Queen Bee, was he going to follow through on his promise and try to be a better father to Adrien instead of trying to get Ladybug and Cat Noir's Miraculous?

And yeah, the whole irony is that Gabriel is doing this for his family when he is unknowingly fighting his own son, which could lead to some interesting drama if done right. The idea of how Gabriel would react to his son being Cat Noir could really lead to some internal struggles for him to go through. But then we got “Cat Blanc”, which shows just how terrible of a character Gabriel is.

In an alternate timeline where he found out his son was Cat Noir, what does Gabriel do? Does he try to steal Adrien's Miraculous while he's sleeping? Does he reconsider his actions or realize he was endangering Adrien's life?

NOPE! He just decides to akumatize him all while emotionally tormenting him, before causing the end of the world.

This is honestly one of the most appalling things I've ever seen in any TV show, because it's basically an abusive father ordering his son to listen to him all while referencing his (kind of) dead mother to back up his point. And rather than use this to show how despicable Gabriel is, the episode decides to blame Marinette for this happening. Yes, according to the show, her present to Adrien caused several events to happen which caused Cat Blanc, but this logic makes no sense. It's like blaming the JFK assassination on the man who sold a gun to Lee Harvey Oswald, instead of, you know, Lee Harvey Oswald.

Not only was this episode yet another excuse to blame Marinette for something that wasn't her fault, it leads into the biggest problem I have with Gabriel as a character.

Sympathize with Gabriel? Surely, You Jest

After everything I've gone over regarding Gabriel as a character, after all the awful things I've talked about, are you really surprised that I don't feel bad for him at all?

Gabriel is just an awful character and a despicable human being, but the show just keeps wanting me to feel bad for him. It's just so hard to when you consider everything he's done has made him anything but sympathetic. I'm just saying, it's kind of hard to feel bad for someone who tries to start World War III with the only justification being “i'M dOiNg It FoR mY fAmIlY”, especially when he treats his family like crap.

The writers go out of their way to show how horrible Gabriel is as Hawkmoth/Shadowmoth, but they think because they throw in a few moments where he looks conflicted, we'll immediately feel bad for him. What makes so many people interested in seeing Chloe become a better person is that they can tell she's the victim of a troubled upbringing, and know that because she's only a teenager, she still has room to grow as a person, represented by having more honest moments of vulnerability. Gabriel is a grown man who once caused the apocalypse because of how terrible of a parent he is, and has even fewer sympathetic moments than Chloe does. Which one of these two is supposedly irredeemable? The answer may surprise you.

But the frustrating thing is that this kind of villain could have worked. Instead of making him this mustache-twirling psychopath, show how much Gabriel regrets what he has to do, but keeps pushing onward despite all the lives he's risking if it means that he can save his wife. Instead of making Gabriel like Lex Luthor, make him like Mr. Freeze, who is basic a better written version of him.

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But as it stands, there's a good reason why Gabriel gets little to no respect as a character in the Miraculous Ladybug fandom, as a villain, or as a father.

#immaturity of thomas astruc #iota #miraculous ladybug #miraculous ladybug salt #gabriel agreste #hawkmoth #hawk moth #shadowmoth #shadow moth #emilie agreste #adrien agreste #cat noir #chat noir #cat blanc #chat blanc #nathalie sancoeur #mayura #marinette dupain cheng #ladybug

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weelittleweasley · 3 years

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masquerade (part 3) (d.m.)

prompt: draco malfoy was your rival in slytherin house. both of you ambitious, bold, and daring. as one of the few pureblood slytherin families left, you promised yourself that you would continue your lineage, but not with scum like malfoy. instead, you would meet a suitor at the annual masquerade ball hosted by the malfoys each year. but what if your prospective suitor is someone you didn’t expect…

pairing: draco malfoy x fem! pureblood reader

warnings: language, 18+ sexual content, yelling and fighting, underage drinking, talks of nightmares, anxiety

word count: 6.7k

author note: if you would like to be added to the masquerade taglist, fill out this form please!

Pressed against the brick wall of the staircase, lips pressed to each other, frantically stealing kisses, jagged breathing as hands roam up and down your body, your fingers laced in his hair. His lip detach from yours to press hot kisses down your neck and jawline as you pant, trying to catch your breath, desperate for air. Your eyes are sealed shut as you relish in the feeling of his skin against yours.

You sigh as his lips reattach to yours, picking back where he left off. Draco’s hands trail up your sides and to your chest, groping your breasts outside of your shirt. You whine when he stops as you can feel his lips turn into a smirk. “I thought you hated me,” he mumbles against your lips.

He continues to kiss you down your jawline, leaving sloppy kiss. Your chest rises and falls heavily as you think to yourself. You wanted him. This felt so good, so right. But it went against everything you stood for. It went against everything you taught yourself when you first laid eyes on him. Draco was the enemy. The saboteur. Pretentious, evil, vile, loathsome, despicable. And yet, here you were, underneath him as he pressed heavy kisses against your delicate skin, leaving marks against your skin that claimed you as his.

For as long as you could remember, you hated Draco. If you told yourself months ago that this was the situation you found yourself in, you wouldn’t believe it. But you couldn’t deny that you loved every minute of it. Maybe you didn’t hate Draco? Maybe things were changing for the both of you? Was there more to him than just the side he let you see?

Breathlessly, you speak as he looks deep into your eyes, his pooled with lust, his hands firmly placed on your hips as he pressed his body close to yours. “I thought you found me intolerable,” you retort as he smirks.

The two of you just stand there, chests rising and falling heavily as you stare at each other. You don’t kiss again. You just look at each other like you did that night at the ball. His hands on your hips as yours rested on his chest. This was never supposed to happen. But you couldn’t change the past now. It was too late. What is done is done. There was no turning back. But the future was unclear. What did this mean for your rivalry? Was there one anymore?

As you stare into Draco’s eyes, you notice a shift. His eyes stop staring into yours with adoration. Something changes. He nervously gulps and his hands pull away from your body and he gently pushes your hands down from his chest. You’re confused by his sudden change in demeanor. “I’m sorry,” Draco tells you as he looks around, making sure that the coast was clear and no one saw what just happened. “This was a mistake.”

Your heart stops. “Sorry for what?” you ask, scoffing a little bit. You sure weren’t sorry for what just happened and you knew he wasn’t either.

Draco backs himself away from you and take a few steps down the stairs as you watch him in utter confusion. “It was heat of the moment,” he tells you as your smile fades. “There’s nothing between us, (Y/N). And there never will be,” he simply states as fact rather than a question. You look at him in disbelief and scoff, shaking your head. He sighs and turns towards you, a little annoyed. “You know nothing can happen between us. The ball was a fluke! What happened just then,” he points to the stairs where you had just kissed, “was a stupid mistake. We both got caught up and it was a slip on both our parts.”

You take a few steps down from the stairs and challenge him. “So you mean to tell me that you feel nothing towards me? Not ever?” you fold your arms across your chest in defense. There was no way he could stand there and deny everything that happened between you two. The progression of events and the things Draco were saying were not lining up. He was trying to protect himself at the expense of your integrity. Draco sighs and turns away from you, not bearing to look at you anymore. “Well, now that makes you something I never thought you were, Draco. A liar.”

Draco takes a step towards you, “You know it to be true, (Y/N). We are getting our feelings for each other confused after that night. We need to go our separate ways and go back to how things used to be. That’s what’s best for us.”

In pure fury now, without even registering it, you push his chest. “You do not get to decide what is best for me,” you point at him. “You have no right to tell me what I can and can’t do and what I can and can’t feel.” Draco looks at you, almost apologetically, but wipes it off quickly to replace it with a disgruntled look. “But you know what,” you sigh. “Maybe you’re right.” Draco furrows his brows. “Better to keep someone as self-absorbed and righteous as you at an arm’s distance,” you speak, surrendering yourself to the reality of the situation. The illusion that you conjured up of you and Draco maybe being together after the history you’ve had was childish and foolish. “Best for us to do what we do best. Compete against each other,” you speak softly as he gulps. “Best of luck, Malfoy. It’s a race to the top now. More than ever.”

And with that, you push past him and back to the party. A part of you wishes that Draco called out for your name like they did in those romantic movies, but this wasn't a romantic movie. This was real for you. This was a horrifying truth that you had to get past and move on with. It was showtime now and you weren’t going to miss your shot.

Putting the stairwell incident behind you, you make your way back to the party and walk directly to the drinks table and pour yourself a cup full of fire whiskey, drinking it in a few goes, the sensation burning your throat, warming your chest, and making your stomach churn. You’d come to regret it in the morning, but now you needed something to distract you.

You watch as people still happily mind their own business, dancing and chatting away, smiles on everyone’s faces. You wished that you were carefree as that, but it wasn’t in your nature to let go so easily. Letting go was hard. Especially when it is linked to your past and how you were raised. You were taught letting go meant putting your guard down and that was a sign of weakness. You needed to protect yourself because if you didn’t, who else will?

Shaking your head, you push aside your thoughts. You have no motivation to go dance and pretend like nothing was wrong. But you didn’t want to be alone in your dormitory after what happened.

Walking over to Daphne who chats to a few people in the corner of the party, you place a hand on her shoulder. “Hey,” you quietly interject. “Would you mind getting some fresh air with me?” you ask her.

Daphne immediately notices the look in your eyes. “Absolutely,” she tells you as she excuses herself. The two of you link arms and walk out of the common room. “Be careful, prefects are monitoring the halls since it’s past curfew.”

You give her a smile, “You’re forgetting who you’re talking to.” As a prefect yourself, other prefects weren’t going to question your motives. “Besides, if they give me shit for it, we can just cast an enchantment on them and poof, it’s like it never happened.”

Daphne shakes her head as you walk through the halls and eventually find yourself outside. The air is cold against your hot face, but it’s refreshing and revitalizing. You sigh as the wind blows against your cheeks as you across your arms for warmth. You remain quiet with just your thoughts, silently analyzing what just happened. It all happened so quickly, giving you little to no time to process any of what just happened.

Placing a hand on yours, Daphne gives you a sad smile. “Is everything alright?” she asks, genuinely concerned for you. If there was one thing she hated, it was seeing someone she loved in pain.

You turn to Daphne with tears in your eyes that threaten to fall out, but before they can, you wipe them away. “It won’t ever work between us. And I was silly for thinking it could,” you confess. You didn’t need to give context. Daph knew exactly what this was about. “I was right in the first place. It’s illogical. We’re oil and water. Fire and ice. When one of us prevails, the other gets hurt.”

“You weren’t silly for thinking that, (Y/N),” Daphne stands in front of you to look you in the eyes, focusing on you. “In fact, you were brave for trying. You know I love Draco, but that boy is a coward. You are quite the opposite,” she says as you let out a light chuckle. “Consider it a bullet dodged.”

Shaking your head, you sigh, “You’re right. Thank you.” She nods and squeezes your hands. “I just wanna stand here for a little while before going back in. Is that okay?”

Daphne smiles, “Of course. Take as much time as you need.”

The two of you stand outside the castle, enjoying the cool winter breeze on your skin, the light of the moon illuminating your faces as Daphne rubs your back comfortingly. You rest your head on her shoulder as you exhale a shaky breath. Things just got a lot more complicated.

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Avoiding Draco was virtually impossible. The two of you had the same duties, same study schedule, same classes. So instead of trying to meander your way around seeing him, you approached the situation like you did for years. With vitriol and no compassion. You didn’t talk to him, you didn’t make eye contact with him, you just pretended he didn’t exist. And him the same to you.

It made for awkward encounters that people definitely picked up on, but no one wanted to ask you the reason why and you didn’t want to explain the reason why.

Prefect duties with Draco became something you dreaded. Before any of this mess happened, the two of you would make a competition out of it. Who helped more first years? Who finished patrolling first? Who completed all tasks first? Who got the the prefect bathroom first? But now, you remained silent and minded your own business, but still snuck glances at each other, making sure that the other was still on task.

Tonight’s prefect duties were almost all complete. You had finished patrolling your hallways and rotated your shift with a Ravenclaw prefect. You loosened the Slytherin tie around your neck and let your hair down from the ponytail it was being held up in. Letting out a sigh of relief, you fluff your hair and rub your face. Today was exhausting and all you wanted to do was go into your room and go to bed.

You walked into the Slytherin common room, fully prepared to do so, but you stop in your tracks when you see a first year student sat on the couch, sniffing to themselves. “Hello,” you gently greet the student. “Why are you up at this hour? It’s quite late,” you slowly approach the small boy who looks up at you, tear stained cheeks and red eyes signifying he’s been crying for a while. “Can I sit down next to you?” you ask.

He nods gently and scoots over for you to sit next to him. Carefully, you sit next to him and give him a soft smile. “What’s your name?” you ask him.

“Phillip,” he gently replies, wiping his eyes on the cuffs of his pajamas.

You give him a friendly smile and extend a hand to him. “Hi Phillip, I’m (Y/N). I’m the Slytherin prefect,” you tell him, letting him know that you were here to help him. He could trust you. He gives you a small smile and shakes your hand delicately, still hesitant. “Would you like to talk about what is making you upset? Or would you prefer me to sit here and listen? Or we don’t have to talk at all,” you offer him options, letting him chose what will make him the most comfortable.

Phillip sniffles. “I had a bad dream. But I don’t want to talk about it.”

You nod your head, “We don’t have to talk about it. That’s alright.” Phillip nods his head and plays with the hem of his pajamas, kicking his feet back and forth. “Bad dreams happen sometimes. But that’s all they are. Dreams. It’s not real,” you tell him. “You know what makes me feel better?” you tell him as he looks up at you, wondering what you were going to say. “I think about all of the exciting things I’m going to do in the morning. Do you have any fun things planned?”

A small smile forms on the small boy’s face which is soon replaced with tiny giggles. “Professor McGonagall is taking us all to Hogsmeade tomorrow morning,” he beams.

You give him an excited gasp. “You see! That sounds like loads of fun!” He laughs at your excitement for him. “There’s going to be so much to do! You can buy sweets, browse shoppes, play with your friends in the snow! That’s going to be a lot of fun, Phillip. Man, I wish I was you!”

Phillip giggles, “I guess you’re right.”

“’Course I am!” you tease him as he smiles. “But in order to have the most fun you possibly can, you need to get a good night’s rest,” you tell him as he nods his head. “Do you think you’ll be able to do that, Phillip?”

He takes a deep breath in and sighs with a smile, “I think so.”

Giving him a smile, you speak, “Sounds like a plan.” You offer him a high five that he gladly accepts. “Alright, my friend, go run off and have the sweetest dreams,” you tell him.

Phillip springs to his feet and runs off to his dormitory with a smile. “Goodnight, (Y/N)!” he calls as he disappears up the stairs.

You smile to yourself, looking off in his direction. Your heart swells. You loved helping out others when you could. It made you feel like you were destined to do this.

“I didn't realize how good you were with kids,” a voice speaks.

Letting out a gentle squeal, you place a hand over your heart and turn around, surprised by the sudden voice. Your eyes land on Draco who stands before you, hands tucked into his pockets. He stood and looked at you with kind eyes. You just stared at him blankly, not giving into him this time. Not again. You couldn’t bare it. “You scared me,” you simply state as you rise from the couch, ready to leave.

Draco speaks as you walk in the opposite direction towards the girls’ dormitories, “You would make a great Healer.”

You stop in your tracks. He remembered? From that conversation you had in the gardens. You tell your heart to stop fluttering in your chest as you close your eyes. Now was not the time for flattery. You were exhausted and you needed to go back to sleep. Turning towards him, you look at him, “What are you trying to do?”

This was a genuine question. Was he trying to make amends? Nights before he told you to stick to doing what you both did best. Hating each other. And now he wanted to put that one pause? That’s not how things worked.

Draco sighed, “I’m just trying to have a conversation rather than ignoring each other. Merlin, (Y/N), before the ball even happened we would talk to each other during prefect duties.”

You laughed, “We didn’t talk, we argued.” Which was true. The two of you arguing or challenging each other during prefect duties, taking turns taking a stab at the other’s pride or ego. “You wanted the relationship we had before the ball and I’m trying to do that. You on the other hand are standing in my way, Malfoy. So get out of my way and move on.”

But neither of you move. Again, you just stand there completely enraged at him, and he just staring at you with guilt in his eyes. A sight you’ve never seen before, but you don’t show any sympathy for him. He did this. He did this to you. You couldn’t bother feeling sorry for him.

“I didn’t mean for things to end up like this,” he says quietly. You scoff. “Genuinely, I mean it.”

“You should have said that a long time ago, Malfoy. You’re seven years too late. The damage is done,” you spit at him. “The ball was stupid and us coming together over it was stupid. The ball was my chance to find someone who I could have a partnership with. We ruined it for each other and now we’ll have to wait another year until it rolls around again. And next year, I will be actively avoiding you.”

Draco opens his mouth to say something, but nothing comes out. He tries again, but this time is interrupted. The common room door opens and in the doorway stands Tracy Davis. “Draco, are we still meeting in the astronomy tower?” she asks with a stupid girlish grin on her face.

Draco looks at her and then back at you and then back at Tracy. He gulps. “I’ll be there soon, darling. Go on without me and I’ll meet you up there,” he smiles as she giggles and closes the door. “I have to go,” he looks at the floor, too embarrassed to look at you.

With a scoff, you speak, “You work quickly, Malfoy.” He looks up at you through his eyelashes, still embarrassed. “It’s fine. No need to wait up for me. If this date of yours goes well, maybe you won’t need to be in attendance to next year’s ball. Enjoy yourself,” you speak before walking up to the girl’s dormitory.

“(Y/N)!” he calls after you, like in those romantic movies you would watch with your mother, but you don’t turn around. You continue to walk away from him. And you don’t let yourself cry this time. Instead, you walk away faster.

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Weeks have past since you and Draco last spoke in the common room. You had made it very clear to him that you had no intention of wanting to even talk to him, even if it was competitive banter like you used to. Things were different now and there was no going back to the way things once were. And you had to be okay with that.

You had spent more time surrounding yourself with your studies and your friends, maintaining your good grades and good standing with your friends. Daphne knew that this drastic change was affecting you and she tried her best to be as supportive as she possibly could. Pansy on the other hand, clueless to your situation, simply kept to herself about your change in behavior around Draco, focusing on you and your friendship, which you always thanked her for.

Like always, you found yourself in the library again, returning books that you were finished studying from and reading, walking through the stacks and returning them to their rightful shelves. As you walked through the library, you thought to yourself of your upcoming assignments. Potions exam coming up which you needed to receive an excellent grade on in order for your average to rise another point so you could surpass Draco in Potions. Defense Against the Dark Arts exam coming up which meant you needed to maintain your average, seeing that you and Draco had the same average. Divinations class you knew you had to participate more in in order to get in Trelawney’s good graces so you could gently ask her to bump up your previous exam grade two points to beat Draco’s average.

As you walked around returning your books, you can’t help but have your ears perk up when you hear a certain girlish giggle coming from the back of the library. You told yourself to ignore it, but when you heard the words, “Stop it, Draco, I’m trying to concentrate!” your curiosity got the best of you.

Not to draw attention to yourself, you slithered through the stacks quietly, pretending to put away books, when in reality, you peaked through the cracks of the stacks in order to catch a glimpse of what was going on at that back table.

You knew it was wrong of you to be eavesdropping on a conversation that wasn’t yours, but honestly, after everything Draco had put you through, you didn’t give a damn at this point.

Peaking through the stacks, you see Tracy Davis hovered over her notebook, scribbling away as Draco teasingly plucked the book from underneath her. She squealed with glee and clawed back for her notebook. “Give it back, Draco!” she whined at him with a smirk on her cherry red lips as you rolled your eyes. Her voice rippled through you like nails on a chalkboard. So shrill, so...annoying.

Draco held the notebook over his head like he once did with you that time in the stacks, making sure it was just out of her reach. “Make me, Davis,” he teased her as she giggled throwing her head back in exaggerated laughter.

“Oh, please,” you whispered to yourself as you hastily threw a book back in the stacks.

Their banter loudly continued on, making surrounding students roll their eyes and groan in frustration. This whole act that they were putting on was so childish. You knew that Draco was not like this around girls; this was simple an act. A facade. A ploy to make you jealous. And even though you hated to admit it, it was working.

With another shrill laugh, Tracy squealed, “Stop it, Draco!” as he tickled her sides.

You groaned, “That’s it.” Walking out of the stacks and right up to their table with confidence, you spoke, “Last time I checked, this was a library. People are working. This isn’t a place to squeal and giggle and have a tickle fight,” you say with disgust laced in every word. “So, pipe down or leave.”

Tracy’s cheeks flash bright red as she looks away from you and slowly turns back to her work. Draco on the other hand just stares at you, eyes raking you up and down, tongue pressed against his cheek. “Last time I checked you weren’t the librarian,” he hissed.

Your blood was boiling with fury as you snapped back at him, “Shouldn’t you be ass-kissing Professor Snape right now? Or is that appointment in another hour?” You could see the utter anger in Draco’s clenched jaw as you smirked in contentment. “That’s what I thought. So on behalf of the rest of the entire library, shut it.” You flash them both a sarcastic smile and walk away, rolling your eyes.

People watch you walk away in awe of your little fit of rage, but you don’t care. You just let the smirk on your face do all the talking as you walk through the library to the back towards the restricted area. You had a note from your professor to return the book you had took from there as you slid past the rope and through the stacks.

Your eyes scanned over the spines of the books as you looked to place the book you had borrowed in its proper place.

As you place the book back, you hear a voice speak, “Could you leave your fits of rage for somewhere private rather than doing them in front of the entirety of the Hogwarts library?”

A smile comes onto your lips as you turn your head to see Draco standing beside you, hands buried in his pockets and icy eyes freezing you. “You’re not supposed to be here without a note from a professor,” you simply state.

He scoffs, “Oh, fuck off. Since when have you followed any rules.”

“Since I got to this damned school. At least I know I can win fair and square without cheating my way through or without the help of my father,” you mimic him as he takes a daring step near you. “Since when have you cared about people seeing us argue? We’ve done it for seven years and just now you have a problem with it?” you spit at him as you walk away from him, deeper to the back of the restricted section.

Draco follows you deeper into the restricted section, walking and talking, “I would rather keep our conversations private from now on rather than making them public. Especially when I’m in front of a girl that I’m interested in.”

Your mouth goes dry when he says that. Tracy Davis and Draco Malfoy? Yeah, right. That would never work out. For starters, Tracy wasn’t even a pureblood, so if any relationship developed out of that, Lucius Malfoy would stop it from going any further. Not to mention, Tracy Davis was a stage nine clinger, something Draco couldn’t stand. For Merlin’s sake, when Pansy fancied Draco and she merely looked at him, he would get sick to his stomach.

Without looking at him, you speak plainly, “Poor Tracy. Stuck with a foul fool like you.”

You disappear behind a stack of books as Draco follows, grabbing your arm and spinning you around to face him. “Just because you’re jealous of Tracy doesn’t mean you have to take it out on either of us. Surely, you’re more mature than that or is that another thing I am mistaken of?” he sneers.

The adrenaline pumping through your veins was unlike anything else. You wanted to rip his head off. Draco’s words were cruel and hurtful and you were so close to hexing him and getting it over with. “For Merlin’s sake, can you just leave me be!” you pull at your roots. “You simply cannot just leave me the fuck alone ever! You can’t just let sleeping dogs lie. No. You have to have the last word, you have to be right, you have to always pour salt in the wound. And it’s always my wound. So how about this, Malfoy? I fucking hate you. I really do. Nothing excites me more than the thought of you never being in my life again after we leave this school. I can’t wait to live a life when I never have to look upon your fucking face again and feel the way I do about you!”

Draco stands there, arms across and a shit eating grin on his face. He was loving this meltdown that you were having. It was a performance for him. “Yeah? And how do you feel about me?” he eggs you on.

“I just told you! I fucking hate you,” you yell. “I hate that way you look at me with your blue eyes that stare into mine, I hate the way you smile after every nasty thing you say, I hate the way you touch me and pretend that nothing happened, I hate the way you simply brush me off and pretend like I mean nothing to you when I fucking know I do, Draco! I know I mean something to you, but you are just too pathetic to admit it!” you confess, your voice cracking.

You never meant for all of those words to come out of your mouth, but they just spilled out and couldn’t stop. You are breathing heavy as you feel a lump in your throat, but you don’t dare cry in front of him.

Draco on the other hand was just standing there, taking it all in. He didn’t realize how much you observed him. How you carefully analyzed his every move. How brilliant you were when you spoke. It was like poetry the way you talked, even if it was talking down to him. “What do you mean....that you mean something to me?” he asks for clarification.

With a deep inhalation, you take a step closer to him, with each step a warning. “I know that you are just too egotistical and prideful to admit that I mean something more to than just a school rival. Because you are scared to admit that you felt something at the ball. You are scared to admit that you wanted me at that stupid party. You are too scared to admit that even though we’re just eighteen you feel something for me. You are too scared to confess that you are falling in love with me like I am with you,” you reveal and as you say it your eyes widen and your mouth falls agape. Draco’s eyes widen and he stares at you in complete and utter shock.

A confession. A declaration of love. In the most warped sense of the phrase. But it was a declaration nonetheless.

You stutter, trying to find the right words to defend yourself, back peddling now. Mouth agape, “I-I-I didn’t mean that, um, I, uh,” you stutter. “I don’t know what I just said, I-I blurted out something I don’t know.”

Draco speaks, “You’re falling in love with me?” His eyes search yours, but you refuse to look at him. He gently grabs your face in his hands and forces your gaze up to his. His blue eyes melt under your fiery ones. “Do you truly mean that?”

You are panicking. What were you supposed to say? Tell a lie? Tell him that all of it meant nothing to you when on the contrary, what happened at the ball was everything you could have wanted? “Draco, I...” you trail off.

“I need to know, (Y/N),” he states, eyes digging into yours, prying the truth from you. “I need to know if you’re falling in love with me, now more than ever.”

Your breath hitches in your throat and your heart stops. “Do you love me, Draco?” you retort, hoping he would say something, anything. “Please.”

Without wasting another moment, Draco’s lips crash onto yours and you immediately kiss him back. His hands cup your face as your hands rest on his forearms, pulling him in closer. The kiss is gentle, but desperate and passionate. It wasn’t quite the answer you were looking for, but in a way it was better. His lips were warm and soft, tasting of peppermint as he pulled you close. Mumbling against his lips, you speak, “Draco, I-”

He shakes his head, “Don’t say another word.”

His lips find yours again, this time more desperate than the last. You wrap your arms around his neck as his slither around your waist. Your lips are pressed firmly against each others before his hands squeeze your bottom, making you gasp, allowing him to slide his tongue into your mouth. His tongue massages yours as you moan softly into his mouth, your fingers tangling themselves into his white blonde hair. His lips press hot kisses down your jawline and neck as you lean back, allowing your flesh to be exposed to his lips.

Frustratedly, he undoes the first few buttons of your shirt before groaning and ripping the last four buttons off. Too distracted to care, you chuckle at his eagerness. Draco stares at your chest, looking at how your breasts spill out of your bra. He places a kiss to either one of them before pushing your shirt off of you and onto the floor, your bra following shortly after.

Mimicking his previous actions, you peel Draco’s shirt off his body to reveal his surprisingly chiseled abdomen. Quidditch really worked wonders on him, huh? Your painted fingernails trace his torso as he smirks before he starts unbuckling his belt as you hastily peel off your underwear. The two of you understood that you didn’t have much time before someone would wonder where you two went or what you were doing. This needed to be quick.

Draco pulls you close to him as you breathily giggle, him smirking. “Jump,” he commands as you do so, him hoisting you up as you wrap your legs around his torso. He grabs a condom from his pants pocket as rips it open before pulling his boxers down and rolling the latex onto his hard member. “You’re going to have to be quiet for me, darling. Can you do that for me?” he huskily whispers in your ear, sending shivers down your spine. You nod your head eagerly. Draco presses you up against the bookcase as you hold onto his shoulders. “Good. Are you sure you want to do this?” he asks, looking you in your eyes deeply, making sure that you really wanted this.

You nod again, “I’ve never been more sure of anything in my whole life,” you pant as he smiles. He lines himself up to your entrance, but before he can push himself in you grab his chin and force his gaze up to yours. “Before you do,” you tease. “I don’t want you calling me darling,” you demand as he furrows his brows. “You called her darling. I want a nickname that’s just for me and me only.”

Draco smirks and leans over into your ear. He hums, “Alright then. How’s princess?” he slowly pushes himself into you as you sigh in pleasure, digging your fingernails into his shoulder blades. “I’ll take that as a yes.”

Slowly, Draco rocks in and out of you, letting you adjust to his size before picking up his speed. His hard cock rolling in and out of your wetness makes your eyes screw shut and lean your head against the bookcase. You were in complete euphoria as you feel him move in and out. You wanted to moan out his name in pleasure, but at risk of getting caught you bite down on your bottom lip and whimper. “Shit,” you whisper as Draco breathes heavily as he pumps in and out of you. “Fucking hell.”

Draco holds onto your hips tightly as he fucks you, hips rolling against yours as he fucks you against the bookcase. The books around you shake from his thrusting motions, but neither of you could care less. “Fuck, princess, you feel fucking incredible,” he breathes out as he presses kisses into your collarbones.

You hold onto his shoulders as he continues to rock in and out, his speed increasing with each thrust, driving you mad. His thumb finds your clit, rubbing slow circles into it, sending you over the edge. “Right there, baby,” you encourage him. He continues at that speed, rubbing your clit and fucking you. “Don’t stop, don’t stop.”

Draco buries his face in your neck as you tangle your fingers into his hair, pulling gently. “You’re gonna make me come, princess,” he whispers in your ear as you whimper underneath him. “I want you to finish all over me.”

With a few more strokes, you feel a familiar sensation of a knot in the pit of your stomach and your walls tighten around his throbbing dick. “I’m close, Draco,” you whisper.

“Come, princess,” he nibbles on your delicate flesh. “Come all over my dick.”

And there you were, a writhing mess against the bookcase in the library, holding onto his shoulder for dear life as your head rolls back and mouth falls agape. Draco’s hand flies over your mouth to prevent moans from escaping your mouth, even though he wished he could hear you scream out his name in euphoria. He watches your eyes flutter close as you finish, the sight unlike anything he has ever seen before. Moments later, Draco finishes, still pumping in and out of you, riding out both of your highs as you let out muffled moans.

The two of you are panting, breathless messes as you come down from your climaxes. Draco gently puts you down, holding onto your waist as you try to stand, legs still shaking. He chuckles and pecks your lips gently. “Merlin, you’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen,” he breathes as you look up at him with a soft smile. “I don’t know how I didn’t recognize those eyes when I first saw you at the ball. You have the most captivating eyes.”

You peck his lips gently before the two of you quickly toss your clothes on again and fix your appearances to look somewhat normal, even though both of your faces were flushed.

The two of you stay in silence for a little while before you speak up. “You didn’t answer my question, Malfoy,” you nudge him as he fixes his tie. He furrows his brows, confused. “I asked you if you were falling in love with me.” Draco looks into your eyes and he breathes out an uncomfortable laugh before buckling his belt. You look at him, searching his face for an answer. “Draco...” you trail off, your worries starting to bubble in your chest. “Draco, I need to know if you do.”

You didn’t want to force him into saying yes, but Merlin, you need to know if you just had sex with a man that you confessed your love to but didn’t feel the same. Draco refuses to make eye contact with you as he runs his fingers through his hair, fixing it as anxiety pools in your stomach and chest. “I told you that I was falling in love with you...and you haven’t told me how you feel yet. All you did was have sex with me,” you speak. “Look at me.”

Draco looks at you with anxiety and guilt in his eyes as your heart sinks. “Please tell me the truth,” you say.

He sighs, “Was what we did not an answer?”

“You’re avoiding the question, Malfoy,” you speak now growing frustrated.

Draco notices the name change and he gulps. “(Y/N)...I don’t know.” You inhale a shaky breath. “I really don’t know.”

You are in disbelief. In shock, you start laughing a little bit, unable to fathom the series of events that just unfolded. “But you know enough to have sex with me, no if, ands, or buts.”

“It’s not like that-”

“No, it’s exactly like that,” you hold your place. Draco lets out a defeated sigh and looks at you sadly. “So, that’s it? You...you wanted to get a confession out of me, that’s it? You wanted me to admit my feelings, fuck me, and then leave me high and dry. This whole charade...this was a part of your grand plan, wasn’t it?” you start to work yourself up.

Draco shakes his head, “Not at all, (Y/N). It’s not like that at all.”

“Well, it seems like it, Draco!” you exclaim, tossing your hands in the air, surrendering. “This whole facade you put on. That’s all it was. A facade. It was a whole lie. And I’m a fool for thinking that it was real.” Draco’s face drops and he reaches out for you as you take a step back. “Well, you know what. You win, Draco. I accept defeat. You win. Congratulations, Draco Malfoy. You’ve beat me at your own game. I hope you’re happy,” you tell him.

“(Y/N), stop please.”

“This is the last time you get to hurt me, Malfoy. But now I see you for who you truly are. Your mask has finally come off and now I see you for the coward you truly are.”

Without staying any longer, you run out of the restricted section, abandoning everything. Tears pool in your eyes as you leave, walking out of the library. You don’t even given him the chance to call out your name. You didn’t want to know that there was hope for the two of you. You shook your head, shame on you for not knowing better. He won. Game over.

But this time, you had ripped off his mask and saw his true colors. The masquerade was over.

------

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cavehags · 3 years

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now it's your turn! same questions 💖

what's the first film you remember watching? it's hard for me to place early childhood memories in time, but i know i was obsessed with frosty the snowman (1969) between the ages of 2-4. we had a vhs copy that had been taped off of the tv (i miss that version of piracy so much) and when i was in the hospital with pneumonia for a few weeks when i was three, i watched that specific videotape so many times that i can still remember a lot of the ads that played in the middle of it to this day, jingles and all.

what's the film that scared you the most? i was scared out of my mind by just the trailer for the village. i haven't seen the village but the trailer gave me nightmares for weeks. also, and this is 100% true, i once had a panic attack that was kind of made worse by suddenly remembering the plot of the movie what happens in vegas which is very much a typical rom com about a shrewish woman with a manchild husband she never even intended to marry. can't really explain that one.

what's the film that made you cry the most? honestly, and this is an insane answer, but it might be click (2006). i had such a bad time in the theater seeing click. that movie just hits way too hard. like the climax of it when his kids all hate him and he just fucking dies?? what the fuck

what's a film other people love but you hate? i cannot understand why people enjoy 500 days of summer. that movie is vile, loathsome, heinous and despicable (and other synonyms too). quirky indie music dudes literally think enjoying this movie is a sign they've acknowledged and are working on their flaws. it's actually the opposite: this movie made them worse.

what's a film other people hate but you love? i'm going to be very embarrassingly honest here and say i have real fondness for iron man 3. at the time that it came out, i was still seeing every marvel movie and thought it was kind of subversive that this one played a bit with the form by keeping him out of his suit almost the entire time, forcing him to use his brain and hang out with kids and adam pally and problem-solve without the use of superpower shit. i think the haze has been lifted on the so-called subversive quality of it all but i still have fondness for it and would have fun if i watched it again, i'm sure.

what's a film you used to love but now have concluded is terrible? there are so many, but i'm going to steal one of your answers and say aladdin (1992). aladdin was the only disney movie i liked as a child, to the point that my brother and i won a cash prize in a local talent show performing "a whole new world" (brag). i thought jasmine was the coolest and wanted to be just like her. and yeah. it's garbage.

what's the film that means the most to you because of your memories surrounding it? star trek (2009). saved me from the worst depression of my life.

sexiest film you've ever seen? dirty computer the emotion picture. EVERYTHING is sex (except sex) (which is power).

subcategory- a film that's sexy but in a troubling way? probably cruel intentions. a deeply misogynistic movie but sarah michelle gellar dark hair/freaky dialogue need i go on

what's the film you've seen the most times? oh, definitely the princess bride. it was the first movie i knew i loved as a kid that was made for adults. my parents weren't crazy about it and i was always trying to explain it to them. eventually i had to accept that they just have no sense of humor.

what's the film with the best ending? i'm sure there are some really amazing ones i'm forgetting but i absolutely adore the ending to kajillionaire. old dolio learns the hardest lesson of her life and in that same instant is rewarded with inner peace and, as a cherry on top, the love she's always wanted. brutally cathartic ending.

what's the film you most relate to? thoroughbreds. i'm not a wasp from connecticut, and i've never killed a guy nor owned a horse, but there's something about being bored and powerless and full of love and desperate for some kind of control over your life that feels very familiar. the way lily and amanda talk to each other and come to learn from each other and share a secret language despite not even really thinking that they're friends is very familiar to me. and the whole aesthetic and styling of the movie are so much my cup of tea, it's crazy. that movie is such a gift to me.

what's the film you hate the most? i CANNOT pick between two. first, flower (2017) dir. max winkler is a disgusting movie. matt zoller seitz described it as "juno meets lolita" in his zero-star review and i hope we can all extrapolate from that just what is so deeply evil about this movie. it is far too horny for its protagonist, a hypersexualized teen girl who gives blowjobs to cops in their cars as an #empowering #joke and later falls in love with her stepbrother, a kid whom she is constantly bullying for being fat, to the point that he tried to kill himself. then he goes to jail and she is still in love with him while he's in there. max winkler should be kept away from children. and the second film is barbarella. i'm still absolutely furious i had to watch barbarella in college. even though it was on the syllabus of our "gender and geek culture" class for us to critique it, surely torture porn is a step too far...

objectively, what is the greatest film ever? star trek iv: the voyage home.

what's the film that made you laugh the most? maybe jojo rabbit? it's not just that i laughed like crazy in the theater but i also still have all the same burst-out-laughing moments every time i rewatch. amazing movie.

what's the film that's almost perfect but there's just one thing you wish was different? a cut of blockers without the homophobic scene of john cena and ike barinholtz needing to fondle a man's balls would be amazing <3 apart from that, blockers is a perfect film.

what's a film whose world you wish you could inhabit? ngl i'd kind of like to be one of the d.e.b.s from d.e.b.s.

so you've died, and it turns out there is an afterlife! sadly, your coffin can only barely fit your body plus one dvd squeezed in that you can bring to the afterlife to screen on movie night. what film are you bringing? adventure time: obsidian.

#films to be buried with #GREAT POD!

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uncurlinglikeflowers · 3 years

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Queer Trauma, Coming Out, & the Long Road to Self-Love and Healing

As I’ve reflected on my past, I’ve discovered that my adolescence may be one of, if not THE most traumatic time of my life thus far as a queer person. The last few months with my incredible therapist have made me realize that the years of anxiety, panic, fear, self-loathing, confusion, and depression have scarred me deeper than I had previously thought. She also made me realize that this is at least partially because I have never really talked about it openly and in depth in a healthy and productive way before, which is what inspired me to start this blog to share my experiences with others that are currently struggling with their identity, or to allow those that are also currently healing from the trauma of their previously closeted life feel a little more seen.

I knew from a VERY young age that I was different, but didn’t know how or what it meant. I was a lonely kid for a lot of my childhood without many friends. I didn’t want to play football with the boys during recess. I sought companionship at lunch with a table full of girls more often than not, which in itself also made me feel incredibly self conscious at the time as well.

I asked, (with incredible shame) for the “girl’s toy” from the backseat in the McDonald’s drive-thru because I loved to play with the mini-Barbies and craft entire storylines for them. They were easier to hide in my room than regular sized Barbies. I spent most summers off school alone playing video games and reading book and book after book. I didn’t really click with the boys down the street. I was obsessed with Britney Spears and the color purple. I was lonely without really knowing what it meant.

I feel as though that fear I felt in my childhood and adolescence held me back from SO much. Middle school in particular was absolute hell. I hated it. I always felt constantly insecure and uncomfortable. I had absolutely zero confidence or self love. I hated my body and how I looked.

While other kids experienced their first relationships and first feelings of romantic love, I was convinced that it was just not a possibility for me. On top of being deeply closeted, scared, confused, lonely, and in deep denial, girls didn’t go for me anyway. I was the awkward chunky guy struggling with his identity feeling like he had to make up for it by working extra hard to get perfect grades and give himself 100% to other people. I tried not to think about it too much, but hearing about relationships, seeing people kiss in the hallways between classes, and girls talking about what they liked in boys which was the complete opposite of me... it was hell.

To make my self consciousness worse, I felt supremely uncomfortable in gym class and the boys’ locker room in particular. I was ashamed of my body and also self conscious for wanting to look at the other boys; terrified that they would catch on and beat me senseless. Hearing them consistently call each other f*g in a very VERY negative context drove me deep into the closet as the identity I already felt shame for was directly correlated with being a ridiculed outcast, and something that was inherently, disgustingly wrong and unacceptable. The worst insult teenage boys could deliver to each other in the safety of an unchaperoned locker room in a hick town often not kind to queer people or those that were different. I SO desperately wanted to fit in with the other boys instead of being any version of who I actually was.

Part of that façade of blending in with my hetero peers involved having a girlfriend for two months in 8th grade. We didn’t even kiss, let alone approach any sexual situations. I’m sure she had her suspicions. I was utterly obsessed with the concept of blending in by having a girlfriend like the other boys and just having someone special in my life, even if we really didn’t even do any couple things.

Upon reflection, I don’t think the concept of ever being sexual with her ever crossed my mind in the slightest. Even the idea of kissing her scared the hell out of me, and not just from first kiss nerves. Deep down I knew it wasn’t right for me. Don’t EVER tell a kid they’re too young to know. Fast forward to modern times, my first kiss with a girl was with a close friend YEARS after I came out. Go figure.

The idea of caring about and loving myself was non-existent at that time. It’s a very VERY new and ongoing journey for me. I didn’t really care about myself at all. I hadn’t learned how to. Mom was in and out of cancer treatments, and would later pass during my senior year of college and kick off my coming out process, but that’s a whole other post for another day. Spending pretty much my entire childhood watching mom deal with being sick, I didn’t want to cause my family any more discomfort. I was full of self loathing, fear, and confusion, but it seemed irrelevant and unimportant because I didn’t want to be a hindrance.

Instead, I tried so desperately to be the perfect kid and son by befriending my teachers, being a model student, and joining band and a bunch of organizations to stay as busy as possible to stay distracted and impress everyone else.I didn’t love myself because I didn’t think I was allowed to or deserved to in my own head. While I did finally make more meaningful friends in high school, I continued to go through the motions to make my family proud to make up for the scared closeted kid who thought he had to make up for his queerness as though it were a shameful weakness, and it seemed to be the only thing that could possibly matter at the time.

Non-surprisingly, I never really knew any openly queer boys in grade school. It probably legitimately wasn’t all that safe to come out in that environment. I’ll never forget the two boys I saw holding hands in a Wal-Mart that absolutely shook up my entirely reality, because I had never seen romantic same-sex affection in person before.

There was a lesbian couple at my school, but people said awful, degrading things about them behind their backs constantly and acted like they were the biggest freaks. Another boy in my grade in high school hadn’t come out yet officially but was very flamboyant, and thus was treated just as awful as the lesbian couple, if not worse. Other kids just regularly said despicable things about him without even knowing him at all. I even heard parents make blatantly homophobic jokes about him.

His life had to have been hell, and as a fully out queer adult, I still regret not being able to stand up for him more. That definitely forced me deeper into the closet. He wasn’t even out but got talked about like he was some disgusting abomination. How could I ever assume that I could ever come out, let alone kiss, date, and love another boy? I HATED the idea of any attention being placed on me, so I just wanted to survive school at that point.

I had multiple people throughout high school ask me if I were gay just as though it were the most casual question rather than a triggering inquiry that sent me into a mental frenzy every damn time it was presented. Having one of the jock boys ask me such a deeply personal question in passing on the way to my seat in Algebra class was traumatizing. I of course always said no, as at the time I was still convinced it was a passing phase and that I couldn’t actually be gay.

At home, in the days of Myspace, I got anonymous messages telling me they were pretty sure I was gay. The anonymity was arguably worse in some ways.

At a young age, I became hyper aware of how I carried myself, talked, and acted. I loathed hearing my voice or seeing myself in pictures, for fear of sounding too feminine or standing or emoting too gay. I obsessed over the concept that boys and girls carried their books a certain way, or the boys would be labelled as queer. I was paranoid about where I shopped for clothes, the colors I wore, and the length and fit of my shorts.

In middle school, I got a lilac colored trapper keeper for school that I ultimately had my parents take back to the store for a different one because I felt so self conscious about it all day. At home I played with my little Barbies, but didn’t dare tell the kids at school for fear of rejection and isolation. Overall, I felt grossly incompetent, irrelevant, and unimportant in my own mind. Unworthy of love and of course, deeply ashamed for my attraction to the other boys.

I never had anyone whatsoever to help guide me through the coming out process, because I didn’t know a single queer person who could. I’ve now dedicated a good amount of my energy trying to be that person I desperately could have used then for anyone else that needs that role to be filled, and for someone to tell them that someone is incredibly proud of them. An obscene amount of queer people don’t ever hear “I’m so proud of you!” when they really need it the most.

I also didn’t have any good queer representation on TV or in movies, so I really did feel completely alone at times. Most queer characters in media existedly solely to be made fun of and mocked, ratcher than celebrated, properly represented, or God forbid, given a legitimate love story, and the public’s reaction was so frequently one of such repugnance and disapproval.

This was also probably about the time that a close family member told me that he had punched a gay guy for hitting on him when he was younger, a story he again felt the need to share with a now ex-boyfriend and I when we were dating, as though that’s not a horrifying thing for an already scared and closeted queer to hear from their own family.

I think during middle school in particular is when my anxiety and depression issues started, but I assumed either that I was being a baby and that my feelings were invalid, or that it was just teenage angst. The idea that boys and men should mask their emotions and feelings and feel shame rather than expressing them was, (and seemingly appears to continue to be) a very real thing in small towns and society in general.

It didn’t occur to me at the time that I was experiencing varying levels of almost daily trauma that would fuck me up well into adulthood. If you take anything at all from this post, let it be that the conversation around mental health, (and men in particular in this instance) NEEDS to change.

Another particularly noteworthy event in my queer adolescence was when two of my friends, (both girls, shocker) discovered gay porn on my computer. While they pestered me about if it were mine while they laughed, I of course lied. I felt a deep shame and utter humiliation. On reflection, fucking IMAGINE if they had been able to be gentle and understanding with me and told me they loved me and still would even if I were gay. From then on I was terrified that they would bring that day up to our other friends as a joke. Perhaps they did a time or two, I don’t recall. These same friends made jokes about the queer kid I mentioned earlier, and both parents of one of the girls regularly gossiped and made homophobic jokes about him when I was at their house

By the time school dances rolled around, I knew I would never be able to go with anyone but friends. Even if I weren’t still deeply closeted, I’m pretty sure my school still had pretty strict rules against bringing same-sex dates to Prom. While I definitely had fun with my friends at the dances we went to, I so desperately longed for a world where I could dance with a boy who loved me like everyone else was able to.

The loneliness and isolation I felt at the end of those nights could be unbearable because it didn’t seem possible for me, even as I looked into the future. I was fully convinced I would live a very lonely life without anyone to love me the way I craved. I didn’t belong in that world, and wouldn’t ever be set up for that kind of happiness, joy, and feeling of content. I would live for everyone else but myself because that’s just the way the world worked for us queers.

I wish I had had just one single person then who gave me full permission to be my authentic queer self on any level. Someone who could hug me and tell me life after high school and college could and would be vastly different. Someone to tell me I wasn’t an unlovable disgusting freak, but rather a kind-hearted boy who deserved a deep love someday because I was a valid and gentle soul who deserved the world. I certainly deserved more than the shame and pain that constantly haunted me.

Maybe then I wouldn’t have thought about death before 30 so much and obsessed over it well into my college career. I might have realized that I needed to learn to be gentle with myself and take care of and prioritize me and my own happiness. So many people let me down and convinced me that I was a filthy sinner and an over-emotional kid with invalid perspectives and feelings. As most of my closest friends, (that I cannot stress enough have been the ones to save my life and encourage the authenticity that I present so proudly today) came into my life after I had already come out fully, they weren’t around during those dark early struggles.

Sometimes as an adult I still wonder what it would have felt like and how profoundly different my life could be if someone had held me close and sincerely told me they’re proud of me for what I survived and overcame, and told me that they can’t wait to see my eyes light up with the love I’ve always dreamed of in a boy, and that I still continue to seek.

Young, baby gay Travis would be in absolute awe if he knew what life had in store for him back then. To see a future version of himself painting his nails, wearing whatever he wanted, dancing with strangers at pride festivals, having the time of his life at drag shows with his queer family and falling in love with boys? Proudly holding a boyfriend’s hand walking downtown in a busy city? Openly telling his dad about the cute boy he’s going on a date with? Going Facebook official with a boy? Being a super vocal advocate and inspiration and mentor to not only queer family, but to people he hardly talks to but manages to influence and inspire just by unashamedly being himself? Genuinely looking forward to kissing his new husband in front of family and friends on his wedding day, knowing it’ll be one of the happiest days of his entire life?

Holy. Actual. Fuck.

Travis of six or seven years ago wouldn’t have even dared to dream this big, let alone baby gay Travis. He probably would have been utterly mortified but SO comforted to see that future life when he didn’t believe it to be any level of possible.

I’m so fucking proud of myself for this journey, and no one will ever take that away from me or water down my trauma or the grueling work I’ve put in. Genuinely, this is the one thing in my life that makes me absolutely burst with pride.

I think I want to learn how to keep baby Travis in mind with this pride without having to revisit the trauma in the process. Look back at him with open arms, excited to see him learn and blossom into his actual self someday. Even if he could have desperately used someone like the me I am today, he survived then, and continues to persevere today.

He’s queer as fuck, and proud to shout it from the rooftops. He’s a voice and an advocate for the voiceless. A shining light and beacon of hope for those still navigating their terrifying escape from their closeted life. He’s going to meet a man someday and love him so deeply in the way baby Travis always dreamed of. Above all, he’s going to continue to make that little guy so incredibly proud because he knows now the importance of loving himself in the process.

I’m so proud of that scared little boy. I just wish he could have known then how proud he would make himself one day.

As you talk with the queer people in your life, please keep in mind that just about all of us have incredible trauma directly tied to our identities. Talk to them with love, compassion, and understanding. Tell them how proud of them you are for pursuing their own happiness in the face of oppression and rejection.

Demand better from elected officials. Advocate for us. Shut down homophobic ideals, even if you think it’ll make your family and friends uncomfortable to hear. Support queer content, artists and creators. Be a proud ally, but don’t ever allow yourself to take the spotlight away from actual queer people or our queer spaces. Mourn, love, and celebrate with us.

Understand why pride is SO fucking important to us, and why you never have to worry about needing your own pride events. Listen to us and love us for exactly who we are, and were always meant to be. Love is the most incredible, beautiful, and often rare human experience we’re able to experience during our short time on this planet, and it should always be celebrated.

Happy Pride!

#pride #gay #lgbt #journaling #love #queer #coming out #coming out stories #queer trauma #adolescent trauma #self love #healing #trauma

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omegas-spaghettios · 3 years

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Ranking MCU Captain America figures

Before I begin, I want to clarify this is about my enjoyment of these characters and NOT who i think are the best morality or power wise. I specify because I think my first two entries will upset some people and I want to say, this list is NOT in order of how much I agree with these characters' values. I have a heavy favoritism towards theme and character interaction and that is where a lot of my enjoyment from media comes from. So, let's begin.

6. Captain America: CW, IW, and Endgame

I'm separating Steve into two because around CW he starts making decisions that really frustrate me.

Now I do think there is a lot to like still! His conviction to his morals during the Accords and continuing arc about government distrust is great, his stand against Thanos in IW is amazing, he is a lot of fun to watch during the New York part of the time heist, and lifting Mjolnir was legit my best theater moment ever and i will NEVER forget it.

However, in CW he starts making some awful decisions. In CW, he kisses Sharon like, days after Peggy's funeral. While on it's own it's already kinda creepy, Endgame retroactively makes this even worse. It goes on to also have grave consequence because he and Sam asked Sharon to break the law for them and never followed through to help her, which was pretty awful of them. At least Sam tries to make it right in TFATWS, but since Steve left that wrong on Sharon never gets reconciled from him.

I also think that his decision to keep Bucky and Howard's history a secret from Tony was really, really stupid. While I side with him during the fight, the fact that Steve "doesn't like when his teammates withhold information" Rogers didn't tell Tony this then walked into a Winter Soldier facility with Bucky and Tony during the most strained time of their relationship was just begging for that conflict.

He is barely in IW and while his stand against Thanos is a great moment, his decision to not let Vision kill himself is very frustrating. "We don't trade lives" then he goes to Wakanda to let thousands of soldiers die while they try and get the stone out, really dude?

I don't think going back in time in Endgame was inherently a bad ending but things he does to make it happen really frustrates me. He shows no signs of mourning Bucky or Sam at all. And then for the sake of surprise for the audience, he never tells Sam what he's doing and that is so awful. Sam dedicates 4 years of his life helping Steve with a good portion of it being on the run. Sam was with Steve more during the present than ANYONE else. Then Steve just leaves without telling him and shows back up to drop a ton of responsibility on Sam that he didn't ask for. Now Sam is an amazing Cap but it's frustrating to see that a lot of TFATWS is fallout of Steve's bad decisions in these three movies.

5. Captain America: John Walker

Now hold on, I hate this man. I think he does some awful things, so why is he above anyone else? Just because he isn't frustrating to me, he fits thematically and has good interactions with others in TFATWS.

His character really adds to the themes and discussions of white privilege, Supremacy, as well as how the US military treats their soldiers like shit, and I think he is an interesting character to watch as he starts out edging the line of evil and by the end of episode 4 crosses it. While I think Bucky was overall a bit too chummy with him in 6, I think it was all mostly in character for them. Sam and Bucky were up against 6 super soldiers and Batroc in a highly crowded city with lots of important people, it makes sense to me that they take his help in this scenario. They also never leave him alone which indicates distrust.

I also really like the moment where he drops the shield to help the truck. He is a shitty person but he is shown as a person who at least wants to do good, even though any challenge to that he goes off the rails. It is such a black and white scenario, help the truck of innocents, and I like that he does it. It also adds to the hatred of him as a person because it shows he clearly knows better but chooses to ignore it, which makes him even more despicable.

I think it is very important that a man like him bore the title of Captain America because it reminds us all that yes, it is very easy that a man like him represents America as it is and that we need to do better than him.

I like watching him and that's why he's above CW on Steve because he isn't making aggravatingly out of character decisions all of the time and he works very well within the themes of the show.

With me loving him in the context of TFATWS, in later appearances he does have a lot of potential to drop to last pretty easily, but as of now when he just is in that show, I appreciate his character a lot.

4. Red Guardian

I kinda like this character and idk how to feel about it

He doesn't fit Black Widow very much so he is kinda low but I mean, he's just kinda fun. His story about Captain America and the USSR is pretty non-related to the others and rather undeveloped which is frustrating, and he does very little plot significant things. He leads Nat and Yelena to Melina and that's about it. He distracts Taskmaster for a while but he kinda is just getting tossed around until Melina shows up. He isn't very important.

But I do like what I see and do hope we see more of him. They never pretend he's a great person and I do appreciate that he gets called on it constantly. His knuckles having Karl Marx on them kills me and overall he's pretty humorous and fun to watch. He also has a few great moments thematically that I love. When he comforts Yelena after the dinner scene and sings her favorite song as a kid? So heartwarming. When he took Taskmaster's shield when fleeing the Red Room I laughed at his ridiculousness but it lead to a pretty great moment, when he throws the shield through the windshield without hesitation to save Melina. It's a great moment to show how he's letting go of his past and obsessions to be there for his family.

I hope we see more of him, his overall lack of importance and stereotypical behavior kinda holds him back but I see so much potential in him.

3. Agent Carter

As of today she has been in exactly one 30 minute episode, but what I see I really like. Her laughter of surprise when she takes the tesseract is really endearing, her sword and muscles and height make my wlw heart patter, and I do like the difference in her relationship with Steve in this universe, where they both are of incredible capabilities but neither are given any respect for how they were born. We get that in TFA too but I really like that it is a constant theme in this iteration while in TFA it gets dropped a bit after Steve receives the serum.

There is very little of her so I can't really put her higher yet, but given more time she very well may rise up on this list but she had an excellent first showing.

2. Pre-CW Captain America: Steve Rogers

This man is a joy.

He is such an endearing scrappy little guy in the beginning of TFA and I love his commitment to doing the right thing. He still very much acts like a guy who just gained 120 pounds of muscle during that movie and it's endearing. The way he grows into his own skin in TWS is amazing as we see him really step in to what he can accomplish physically as well as his authority and leadership.

His Whedonisms in the first two Avengers films kinda bug me, they treat him like an old man when he isn't. Biologically he's like, early 30's at most here. He grew up as a fighter in Brooklyn then served in the military, he wouldn't care if his teammates swear, but overall it's tolerable.

I LOVE this man's commitment to transparency. He struggles when allies are not transparent and he shows nothing but transparency and I love that that is a constant for him (which is why I separate him from CW on)

Everyone loves this guy and over 90% of criticisms I see for him come after AoU, and that's for good reason, this guy is so loveable.

1. Captain America: Sam Wilson

He's so good, guys

I want to talk about Sam before the suit because he is amazing before it. He runs counseling for veterans, a profession very becoming of a superhero and it speaks to his incredible empathy and compassion that is on full display. I also think the fact that he dedicated 2 years to finding Bucky is not appreciated enough. Sure he was following Steve but he still spent 2 years trying to find Bucky, a person who tried to murder him. Yet he understands it isn't Bucky's fault and tries to help him anyway. I also really like that he is the first to speak out against the Accords. He doesn't wait for Steve or anyone else, he sees red flags and he is out and I really, really love that about him.

Then I love how long it takes for him to choose to become Cap and how much he contemplates it. He has to contemplate the legacy of Steve, if he wants to wear the symbol of this country, the pressures of being a black man as Cap, the legacy that John added to it, the pressures from Bucky and the pressures from Isaiah, and also his own legacy he carved for himself as the Falcon. It's a huge decision with a lot of weight and so many people pressuring him but he takes his time and chooses what is right for him, and I really love that about him. These other characters are all Caps from near the start but he transitions into one after years of knowing him as the Falcon and I love that he doesn't take this decision lightly.

Also as Cap he's just really cool. His decisions to not take the serum as well as try like hell to get Karli to step down speak to his humility and compassion. And while many describe his speech as bland it's still uniquely him. Yes the speech doesn't solve any problems but that isn't what he's doing, he's asking America and the world to get to actually solving them and that is an aspect of him we don't see much since Steve's propaganda days, his direct relation to the public.

Also his suit and wings are just awesome, I argue his action is the most fun to watch out of any of these characters.

Anyway yeah that's the list, I know people won't agree with me so let's try and keep discussion civil, alright?

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rambler-of-procrastination · 2 years

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all 50 questions, and for 44: either jeff bezos, bill gates, and elon musk (most cursed) or Kevin, Stuart, and Bob from Despicable Me (the funniest question)

bestie what the hell

do you have a crush on anyone?

yes what’s your favorite candy?

forget name of it tbh favorite love song?

dont listen to them often what was your first kiss like? uh. it was. yeah. a first kiss. what was your last kiss like? it was my first kiss sexual/romantic orientation? ig im coming out as aceflux online and uh queer romantic do you prefer poems or love letters? love letters favorite fanfic trope? dont read fanfic have you ever been in love? idk what love is described as for me so. not sure favorite milkshake flavor? depends on place dinner dates or brunch dates? both?? favorite flowers? daisy favorite perfume/cologne? idk what it is but its a neutral scent my grandmother used to use favorite candle scent? lavender what’s your ideal first date? no clue favorite love story? no clue what’s the most attractive thing a person could wear? idk - their style is their style dont want to force someone to change for me chocolate, vanilla, or red velvet? cupcakes? chocolate w vanilla frosting snow, rain, or sun? sun sweetest romantic memory? uh. no clue favorite dating sim (and favorite character)? dont know any fictional crushes? plenty. rather not say all what’s your dream wedding like? my parents not there for reasons i shall not get into here what makes you blush? literally everything- do you believe in love at first sight? uh. to a degree? like you can think "oh that person is (insert compliment here) do you believe in soulmates? uh kinda? denim jackets, leather jackets, or bomber jackets? whatever they want to wear if its asking their style what’s your sign? Sagittarius are you single? atm. yes. do you prefer to charm, or be charmed? be charmed tbh guitar or piano? i like listening to both favorite romcom (or any romantic movie)? no clue do you fall in love easily? probably valentine’s decorations: yay or nay? eh. not needed but sure would you prefer to propose or be proposed to? what’s your dream proposal? i would rather propose!! uh. somewhere quietish. cloud gazing or star gazing? star do you like to dance? nope what’s your OTP? in atypical a show i love casey and izzie kittens or puppies? both coffee, hot chocolate, or tea? hot chocolate or tea both good favorite soda? dr. pepper mixed with bargs root beer do you prefer gazing wistfully out the window or lying dramatically over the sofa? idk... both favorite ABBA song? gimme gimme gimme comes straight to mine fuck/marry/kill? (anons name 3 people of your choice) kill all the minions can live but. not them. favorite pajamas? i dont wear pjs /gen favorite liquor? dont drink do you think about love a lot? yeah a walk in the park or a walk on the beach? either or hand kisses or nose kisses? both- what’s your dreamhouse? no clue.

thank you for the ask

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calliecat93 · 3 years

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Callie’s Disney Princess Retrospective: Beauty and the Beast

(Snow White) (Cinderella) (Sleeping Beauty) (The Little Mermaid)

The Little Mermaid was a huge success for Disney. It was such a big success that it began the Renaissance Era of Disney Animation and returned Disney to the top animation studio. While many people such as John Musker, Ron Clements, and Glen Keane can be credited for the film's success, the biggest player by far was lyricist Howard Ashman. He put his heart and soul into the film, and not just with song lyrics. He wanted the characters to connect to the audience. He wanted to play a part in the story. He wanted this film to be something special, and he succeeded. But he was also frustrated, could be argumentative when others didn't like his vision, and unknown to everyone, he was dying. After winning two Oscars for The Little Mermaid's music, Howard revealed to composer Alan Menken that he had AIDS, and he didn't have much longer to live.

However, Ashman wasn't going down before completing one more film. Though he had been writing music for Aladdin, he ultimately ended up as the lyricist of another film. A film that had been through many different iterations and was handed off to newbie directors. Little did anyone know just how impactful this film would be for Disney, and for the industry as a whole. Well, except for Ashman himself. The film that we are discussing today is the first animated film to ever, ever be nominated for Best Feature. That film is 1991''s Beauty and the Beast.

Overview

Belle is a beautiful young woman, but is seen as an oddity in her village due to her love of books and her utter disinterest in local heartthrob Gaston. When her father, an inventor named Maurice, leaves for a science fair, he ends up taking refuge in an old, abandoned castle. But the castle is actually enchanted and acts as the home to dozens of talking inanimate objects... and a fearsome beast. When Belle goes looking for her father, she offers to take his place as the Beast’s prisoner. But during her time in the castle, Belle discovers that this Beast may not be as much of a monster as he appears, and this may lead to both discovering true love...

Review

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I don’t think it’s a stretch to say that this is by far one of Disney’s most beloved films. It got praise form both critics and movie-goers when it came out, and it’s only become more beloved in the nearly 20 years since. Belle is praised as a feminist's icon and the film for it’s themes of toxic masculinity, judging a book by it’s cover, and some of the darker aspects of society like those we blindly praise. I... like the film, but I never loved it to the extent as others. Not because it’s bad, that is a ridiculous notion. I just liked other films more and Belle just didn’t interest me as others like Cinderella or Mulan or Ariel. But seeing it again as an adult who has seen the darker aspects of society since I was a kid, it REALLY rings more deeply than it did back then.

One aspect that no one can argue about is the animation. The film is beautiful. It has some of Disney’s best animators at the time such as Glen Keene, Mark Henn, Andreas Deja, and so much more. There was so much life put into the film and it is a true visual spectacle.I meant hey managed to take inaminate objects, and bring them to life. Sure they have faces to help humanize them, but to make us believe that these are talking, moving objects that were once human is still a VERY difficult task. But they have so much personality like the suave, passionate candlesick Lumiere or the stuffy, orderly Cogsworth. The backgrounds andf settings are also great fromt he Sleepy Hollow-esque village to the gothic castle of The Beast, to the creedy woods that look even more terrifying when it snows. There’s so much color and lighting that is used so well, especially with the castle eminating so much mystery and intrigue compared tot he plain village that Belle is from.

But the setting we all remember most of all is the ballroom. While Disney has been using CGI some before, such as Big Ben in The Great Mouse Detective (yes,t hat WHOLE setting was computer graphics), this is probably the biggest use to date. The ballroom is a gorgeous golden color and looks so big and vast. It takes you’re breath away. There’s a reason why this is the most well-remembered part of the film. The animaiton for this film was very straining, especially due to conditios to accomodate Ashman that we’ll get to later. It was stressful, but they absoluteley put their all into it. When you watcht he ballroom sequence, added to the dance and Angela Lansbury’s lovely vocals, you forget that you’re even watching a movie. It feels like... well, love. It’s by far one of Disney’s best looking features.

As I said in the intro, the film ultimately fell into the laps of two relatively rookie animators; Kirk Wise and Gary Trousdale. This was after several various attempts to adapt the film, with none successful. Wise and Trousdale’s biggest claim to fame at the time was doing animaiton for EPCOT’s now defunct Cranium Command attraction (look up Who Stole Buzzy, boy is THAT a story) and while they had worked on other features, they had never been in the director seats. To make it more difficult, due to Ashman’s health continuing to gradually decline, Katzenburg decided to move produciton over to New York to spare him from having to travel. Which is a VERY noble effort and it’s sweet that they were willing to do so to keep working with Ashman, but as you can imagine this was quite a strain on the production team and as before, they would sometimes clash with Ashman and his vision. Still, they along with Menken returning as composer and writer Linda Woolverton, they reworked the then-script into something that they were happy with.

The setting is very reminiscent of another Disney work, The Legend of Sleepy Hollow. One of two segments from the Package Film Era feature The Adventure of Ichabod and Mr. Toad. We all know the story of Ichabod and his infamous ride where he encountered the Headless Horseman. Here we have a similar quaint village where people seem rather simple-minded. Like in Sleepy Hollow where everyone took notice tot he rather strange looking Ichabod Crane, we see a similar notice of Belle who is an anomaly to them. Though unlike Ichabod, who had pretty much everyone under his thumb and is kind of a gold diging jerk, Belle is ostracized and is a FAR better person. Gaston bears a striking resemblance to Brom Bones in both looks and social status (tough Brom isn’t as bad in comparison or even compared to Ichabod, though still a Jerk Jock) and the Bimbettes bear a bit of similarity to Katrina. I wouldn’t be surprised if the crew used Sleepy Hollow as inspiration for setting and character design. Only thing missing is the Headless Horseman, which that would have been interesting XD

The film deals with several topics. There’s the standard ‘don’t judge a book by it’s cover’ and ‘true love conquers all’ messages. Both of which are handled very well. But there are also some that IDT Disney had ever really tackled to this point. There’s encouraging women to make their own choices, which Disney HAS tackled but this one does it differently with Belle rejecting the standard good-looking man and falling for the monstrous looking one. In fact there is really a strong theme tearing down toxic masculinity and male entitlement. It says that no, men are not obligated to a woman and that women have the freedom to reject them no matter the societal pressure. Especially if they act as despicable as Gaston. With how much more aware we’ve become of how horrible some men in power can be and how they use that power on vulnerable women, this remains a relevant message to todays audience. It let’s women be empowered, confident, and enjoy things like reading as well as have the hope of finding those who will be accepting. These are all important things, and the film does an excellent job in showing it and what actual love should be like. The Beast especially starts as a jerk, but once he decides to become better and wants to be better for no ulterior reasons, he proves worthy of Belle’s love. That’s how love should be and how a person should change themselves. Again, very well done.

Despite his health and being downcast about not completing Aladdin, Ashman still put his all into the film. As I said, they outright shifted production to another state at a time when social media and things like Skype and Zoom were a distant dream. Still, Ashman along with Menken put their all into the soundtrack, and it paid off big time. This film, along with The Little Mermaid, really set up the precedent for Broadway-style animaed films and considering that they continue to be successful, I’d say that that says a lot. There are a lot of memorable songs int his fimlm, and there’s even some that didn’t make it in. One in particular, Human Again, actualy got animated and added back for the film’s IMAX release and various home media releases (sadly it’s not in the Disney+ version). The score is also very well done, especially at the end. Just listen to the music when the Beast finally turns human again. It added to the outright magical animation will leave you in awe as much as Belle was.

But what about the vocal tracks? Good question. Let’s go over them:

Belle/Belle Reprise: Our first song which as the name suggests, is about our leading lady. It does a lovely job establishing her character as a book-loving, intelligent young woman feeling that there was be more than this life ans village that she remains stuck in. It also establishes the village’s rather simple-mindedness and socital expectatons, finding Belle a beautiful but very strange girl because of her loving reading more than getting married. It also establishes Gaston’s smugness, entitlement, and holding the entire village’s admiration, The music is optimistic, but there’s a lot here that’s gonna take a dark turn a the film goes on. The reprise is short and more somber, but let’s Belle express her unwillignness to marry a man like Gaston, wanting to find love on her own terms. Little does she know what’s awating her right after.

Gaston: No one can have a song named after Gaston like Gaston! Yeah, this inspired plenty of meme’s, didn’t it? Even Disney itself has gotten in on the fun haha! But seriously, this is a fun villain song. I gotta give Gaston this, he’s a smug, horrible person but he shows that he can back up many of his boasts. I don’t doubt that he can eat dozens of eggs a day or is as strong as an ox. The song also further shows the town’s utter blind devotion to this brute, not being concerned about his entitlement to a girl who clearly isnt interest and more because of how handsome and grand he is. Isn’t society fun kids?! But then at the end, after Maurice is kicked out, it takes a darker turn as Gaston makes his plans to essentially blackmail Belle with her father’s safety... and right back to blind praise! I feel zero sympathy for any of the villagers in this film. But yeah, a song with a lot of dark implications, but still a very enjoyable villain song.

Be Our Guest: This is a true show-stopper, and I’m not just saying that. Lumiere wanted to create a show, and BOY did he succeed. The song is the most like a Broadway number in it’s composition and grand feeling. The fact that we have a huge number full fo singing, dancing, stuntwork, etc is being done by a bunch of dishes and pretty freakin’ impressive. Yet the animators gave it all so much life and Jerry Orback sings with so much passion and energy and it is just SO much fun to watch! Especially with poor Cogsworth at first trying to get everyone to calm down, but by the end he gets real into it... well until Lumiere knocks him to the side. The only negative is that for being a song about serving Belle dinner, aside form a bit of The Grey Stuff she didn’t even eat dinner. For shame! So 1 out fo 10 of food servive, but the show was worthy of two thumbs up!

Something More: This was the song that replaced Human Again. It’s a sweet song about Belle and Beast beginning to realize their feelings the more that they spend aroudn each other. Belle sees that Beast may not be very well-mannered or much of a looker, but he does have a good heart and the more they interact, the more it begins to show. Belle’s kindness, intellience, and willingness to look beyond the surface has Beast falling in love with her, yet his fear of being a monster is still holding him back. Still as we see the two do things like have dinner, play in the snow, or even Beast letting Belle read to him, the more we see that spark of love slowly grow, even if they haven’t fully grasped it. It helps advance the romance, and it’s just really sweet.

Beauty and the Beast: The song that won Menken and Ashman another Oscar. It’s not hard to see why either. The song is beautiful. It’s performed by Angela Lansbury, and her gentle vocals accompanies by the gentle orchestra is just lovely. The woman outright did the song in one take. One take. That is insane, yet it happened. And I can see why because the song is just beautiful. It adds to much to the already majestic ballroom scene, being about two unlikely individuals finding love and ultimately making the other a better person. It’s just a work of beauty. There’s also the pop version by Celine Dion and Peabo Bryson, which I also really love. It’s more commerical, but still very pretty especially with Celine’s gorgeous singing voice. Both versions are beautiful, and the first thing I think of when I think of this film... and no, not just beause of the name.

The Mob Song: This is exactly as you would expect with a song with that title. It’s dark, angry, and scary. Gaston rallies the troops to kill The Beast, convincing them that he is a danger to them all. They grab their torches, weapons, and there’s just this tense atmosphere throughout. This is the culminaiton of al the socital expectations and blind devotion to a person who doesn’t at all deserve it. It’s also a very accurate protrayal of the mob mentality, where you become a part of this hivemind following the rest of the crowd no matter how wrong it may be and despite your own senebilities. The only ones who don’t fall into it, Belle and Maurice, get tossed into a basement for their trouble. What makes this song sad though? In Disney+’s documentary Howard, produced by Don Hahn who also produced this film, it was explained how in the eyes of several of his colleagues, it seemed like Ashman was venting about the AIDS epidemic. That was a VERY dark time where the gay community was especially under fire, persecuted, hated, and so many other horrible things because the world chose to blame them for it. Ashman was a gay man. He had an ex partner die of AIDS, and had another partner at the time who talked about him in the documentary. Imagine being scapegoated just because of your sexuality, even though you never caused any harm, and society hated on you and others fell into he mob mentality, and they went as far as to either demand you to die or do the job themselves. All because you were different. Really adds a new perspecive to the song, doesn’t it? This can be applied to so many groups too, which makes the song even scarier, but also emphasize even more how dangerous the mob mentality is. Very effective song.

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Sadly, Howard wouldn’t live to see all of his numbers to completion. With his health declining rapidly, Menken and various others went back and forth between Burbank and New York in order to work with him. Ashman worked until he psycially couldn’t anymore. He was even giving notes to performers like Paige O’Hara despite barely being able to talk. He managed to complete his work, at least to my knowledge, before his passing on March 14th, 1991, just a few months before the film’s release. After a screentest, which proved very successful, Don Hahn and some other colleagues went to see Ashman in the hospital to say their goodbyes. Hahn told him of the reception, and jokingly asked who would ahve expected that the film would have turned out so great? Ashman’s response? “I did.” The work he managed to do for Aladdin would be included in the film, which we’ll discuss when we get to that one. The soundtrack won the Oscar which was awarded to Ashman (as well as Menken) posthumously and a dedication to him was including at the end of the film. It’s always sad to see such a talented individual leave us far too soon, but his work truly brought new life to Disney and is beloved even all these years later. That is a legacy that will never fade.

Now we get to characters, and we have quite a good number of them. We have of course the village that Belle is from. On the surface, they seem like pretty plain people, satisfied with their way of life. But this also causes them to at least not think highly of those who break from that way of life. The men work, the women care for the children. If men don’t work, they’re jerk slobs. They all especially fall into blind admiration for the strong, handsome Gaston who is hailed as a local hero. So much so that no one gives ANY of his terrible actions an ounce of consideraiton. Selling Maurcie tot he looney bin? Well he’s alreafy viewed as crazy, so ah well. Belle trying to tell them that The Beast isn’t a monster? While their first imprression of him is defeniteley a bad one, the fact that they listen to Gaston and not the woman who actually interacted with The Beast says a lot about how simple minded they all are. I hope they learned their lesson after all was said and done, but even if not Belle doesn’t have to pay them any mind anyways.

The only person who is accepting of Belle is her father, Maurice. He’s viewed as a crackpot, but Maurice is a good-hearted, smart, and perfectly sensible man. He’s a bit of a goof with how his inventions can go haywire, but otherwise is no diferent from any other person. But like his daughter, his interests have him judged instead of what he’s like as a person. It’s especially sad when he tries to get help to save Belle, and he is merely laughed at and thrown out because of his status. Maurice is a loving father, accepting of Belle and of her interests and choices. She isn’t interested in Gaston? Fine with him. People view her as odd? That’s utterly ridiculous. It’s really nice to have a parent who is supportive and involved int heir kids life, especally compared to Triton last time who may be caring, but is utterly against everything that matters to Ariel. In fact it’s the firs ttime we’ve had this since Snow White and Cinderlla’s parents are dead and their stepmothers are horrible, Aurora grew up away from her otherwise caring parents, and Ariel... it’s complicated. Maurice is a good guy and it is good that Belle has someone who accepts her unconditionaly. She loves him so much that she sacrificed her happiness for him twice to protect him, which really shows how strong their bond is.

That brings us to our villain, Gaston. He is a hunter who is muscular, handsome, and has physical skills that he can back up. However he is also entitled, egotistical, sefish, and just a horrible person. He wants to marry Belle only because of her beauty and instead of trying to get to know her or shifitng atteniton to any of the girls who would gladly grovel before him, he pursues her despite her not liking him. It’s especially bad when he goes to her house, sets up a huge engagement party, and gets into her personal space in his attempts to charm her. She not only rejects him, but promptly humiliates him. Yet instead of thinking that he had tried far too hard and jumped the gun, he blames Belle for daring to reject him. He reflects exactly how society can view someone like him. No one thinks about the woman, they only see a good-looking man get rejected despite us not knowing anything about ther perosn or their relaitonship. Especially if that man is essentially a celebrity, which makes people look past anyhing.

But none of these things are indicitive of an evil perosn. An arrogant jerk yes, but not evil. That all changes when, after Maurice tries to get help, Gaston comes up with a new plan. He decides to have Maurice admitted to an asylum for being crazy, and to use this to force Belle to marry him. This is what shifts Gaston from a jerk to a true villain. This is how far his entitlement and selfishness goes. He is willing to take Belle’s own elderly father and use him and his freedom as blackmail to force her to marry him. Even compared to the four villainesses before him who committed horrible acts such as attempted murder, mental/emotional abuse, and even attempting world domination, this is utterly despicable. Then there's him deciding to kill The Beast. Despite what he says, it's not because of the potential risk to the town, it's solely because he sees that Belle loves him and can't stand it. He outright calls her crazy AND locks her and Maurice up out of pure entitlement and selfishness. He doesn't give a damn about Belle or her though and well-being. Only about his own.

Gaston is entertaining, but very much evil. As I said above he bears a lot of similarity to Brom Bones from Disney's The Legend of Sleepy Hollow. A muscular jock-like figure often the most beautifiul girl in town. Only while Brom was a jerk, he was arguably less bad than Ichabod Crane depending how you looked at it. Gaston essentially has Brom's muscles an Ichabod's selfishness. He cares only for himself and his own pride. Admittedly he put up a decent fight against The Beast, but that's only because Beast wasn’t fighting back until he saw Belle. When he did, Gaston whimpered and begged like the pathetic man that he is. Then he stabbed him despite being spared out of pure spite. An act that cost him his life. Fun fact, originally he survived the fall and was truly killed via the wolves. They ended up saving that for Scar's death in The Lion King. But yeah, Gaston died in the undignifiedmanner that he deserved. A despicable but memorable villain who was perfect for this film.

Then we have the castle characters. You’d think that it would be difficult to give life to a bunch of furniture and appliances... and it probably was. But this movie makes it look easy. They do give most of them humanoid features, like eyes and a mouth, but not all of them and even then it would be so easy to make it look creepy. But the castle staff is just os much fun and beaming with personality. We’re gonna discuss the main four: Lumiere, Cogsworth, Mrs. Potts, and Chip.

Lumiere is a candlestick, which matches his passionate characterization. He’s a showman. A romantic. A more daring, out-going character compared to his frequent frenemy Cogsworth. Cogsworth is a clock and I think he’s implied to be the Beast’s butler or some other kind of advisor. He’s stuffy, nervous, and the most lawful of the characters. Though he CAN get into the fun of things with a little provoking as demonstrated in Be Our Guest and the big battle during the climax. Hoenstly, Be Our Guest is a great number to demonstrate the two’s contrasitng perosnalities. Belle has been banned from eating and Cogsworth doens’t want to both break the Beast’s orders nor cause a bunch of noise that would anger him. Lumiere however? He’s dead set on getting Belle to fall for the Beast, so she should be treated as their guest, not a prisoner. Plus he and the other staff are tired after ten years of being stuck as they are and all alone, so cue the extravagant show number. Lumiere is having the time of his life while Cogsworth tries to convince everyone to stop... but by the end gets caught up in it and joins in ont he fun. Too bad that Lumiere knocks him off the center stage at the end haha. But yeah, their constant banter is amusing but they are clealry friends, especially in the fight where Cogsworth saves Lumiere. They’re both also performed wonderfully by their VA’s, Jerry Orbach and David Odgen Stiers, the latter of whom would appear in several more Disney films, including one for this series that we’ll get to fairly soon.

Mrs. Potts is a teapot and her son Chip is a tea cup. I guess that Chip ended up that way to match his mother, which her being a teapot matches her mothelry persona. She’s very kind and consoling towards Belle and seems the most understanding about The Beast and why he acts ike he does. Which since I think that she was essentially the house caretaker, makes sense since she’d have likely been the one looking out for him. Plus she herself is a mother, and since Beast has the emotion coping skills of a child, she’d know how to deal with it. Chip is the token child character, though not a bad one. He’s a nice kid with a huge curiosity. It’s really cute how hen allt he adults are seeing the bloomign romance between Belle and Beast, he’s uttelry confused like any kid would be haha! He takes a liking to Belle quickly, though more like he sees her as if she were an older sister than any kind fo crush or the like. He’s also smart, figuring out how to use Maurice’s inveniton to free Belle and Maurice quickly...and him wanitng to do it again got a good laugh out of me haha! Mrs. Potts is a nurturing mother and her with Chip is so sweet,e specially when they’re truly human again. Plus her advice of how things will turn out alright in the end is advice that I look back on sometimes. it’s really comforitng.

So... as I’ve mentioned in these reviews, a big issue is how underdeveloped that the prince has been. The first two were plot devices only. Phillip and Eric were better int hat they were active int he plot and Eric had some more perosnality and motivation than the other three did. But it just didn’t feel like the male elads were... quite at their full potential yet. They generally didn’t recieve any character development and were mainly there for the sake of being a lov einterest to the heroine. That all changed in this film with our hero, The Beast.

Beast is one of the most well-developed male leads in a Disney Princess film. A few like Aladdin, Naveen, and Eugene rival him for overall best (though tbf the former IS the lead of his movie so that may not count) but Beast helped make the princes more equal to their princess without overshadowing her. Beast is the co-protagonist to Belle and the character that recieves the bulk of the character development. The opening tells us all that we need to know: Beast was once Prince Adam, a spoiled brat. When he turned away an elderly begger, it turned out that she was an Enchantress and she cursed him into his monsturous form. Since he looks like a monster, he subsequently acts like a monster... or more accurately, like the child that he never truly grew out of emotionally. He’s angry, lashes out constantly, and roars at the top of his lungs when at his limit. Like how a child screams and throws a tantrum when things don’t go their way because they lack the social and emotional coping skills to handle their feelings properly. Becoming a beast left Beast isolated and ashamed to face reality, and thus he didn’t learnt he proper coping skills. He accepted that he would forever be a monster, and succumb to acting like one.

That is, until the day that Belle arrived. When she offers herself to free her father, it’s the opportunity that Beast never beleived that he would get. If he can win her love before the rose petals all fall, he’ll be human again. He’ll be free. While he begins still acitng agressive and even bordeirng on emotionally abusive, e isn’t heartless. When Belle is crying about not getting to say goodbye to her father, Beast seems to legit feel bad for hurting her. It doens’t change his behavior, but it’s still a small moment that shows some humanization. It’s important to add moments like this and his despair when using the mirror to hear Belle talk about him. She’s justified in disliking him at that point, but it’s his reactions that matter. It shows his insecurity, his fear, his utter despair that he’ll be cursed for the rest of eternity. He’s already succumbed to acting the part of a monster and is already struggling to act more polite. As amusing as the scene of him yelling at Belle through the door is, it demonstrates just how hard this is for him but if he can’t improve his behavior, then he has no chance. He knows it, and views it as hopeless. It helps humanize The Beast, showing that despite his appearance there IS a human soul in there somewhere. Someone who on some level does want to be better, but he doesn’t know how. If not for these moments, Beast would have been utterly unsympathetic, but they pulled it off.

The turning point comes after Beast rescues Belle from the wolves. Remember, he’d already pretty much given up on winning Belle over and being human again and the confrontation on the third floor certainly didn’t help matters. He could have just let Belle to her own devices... but instead he went to save her. I sincerely do not believe it was because she was a prisoner or because he needed her. He had given up. He had succumbed. But he did it anyways, showing that he isn’t a bad person. It’s something that Belle sees and she gets him back to the castle to treat him. She called him out on his temper, but is sincerely grateful and Beast is stunned by this genuine act of kindness. She didn’t fear him. She wasn’t disgusted by him. She didn’t even leave him to die despite having pretty good reason to leave him and go. Belle still chose to save his life as he did her’s, showing Beast probably the first true act of love that he ever experienced in his life. We know nothing of his family and while I’m sure that staff members like Ms. Potts certainly cared for him, clearly they didn’t do much to quell his spoiled behavior. Belle was kind because she’s a kind person, and Beast finds that he wants to be kind to her in return.

From that point, we see Beast in a new light. He calms down significantly. He’s happier. He carries himself less like a wild animal and more like a person. He’s outright excited when he prepares the library to surprise Belle with. He’s still awkward as shown with his table manners and interacting with birds durign Something There, but he is trying. He’s trying for Belle. He activly enjoys her company. He sees how beautiful she is physically, but that’s not why he likes her. She’s kind, intelligent, independant, and she makes him feel in a way that he never has. He still feels that she can’t love him because of what he is, but the change that she has caused is so evident. He’s fallen in love and the ballroom scene only strengthens that with himt he happiest that he’s been all film. But the crowner that truly demonstrates htis? When Belle expresses missing her father, he lets her use the mirror. Not only does he seem legit concerned when they see Maurice freezing to death but when he sees Belle’s clear distress, he decides to let her go. He’s sad when he does so, knowing that she may very well never return. But Belle’s father needs her. he can’t force her to say and be miserable. He loves her so much that he decided to let her go. But it does mean that he gav up his final chance at being human after feeling more human than he had in ten years, and he is left in despair.

His despair is so strong that when Gaston and the mob arrives, he doesn’t even try to fight back. He just waits and is prepared to let whatever happens to him happen. Fortunately Belle coming back restores his will to live and he fights back. When Gaston grovels for his life, what does Beast do? He grants it, simply growling at him to leave. It is that moment hat shows how much of a better person that Beast is compared to Gaston. He was an angry man bordering on abusive, but he changed. He met someone who wasn’t willing to take his behavior, but was also willing to see the good that was in him. He changed for her, and it made him a kinder, more selfless person. The only thing that remains is his self-loathing, even saying that maybe him dying is for the best after Gaston has stabbed him. Fortunately Belle confesses her love, and it not only saves his life, but breaks the curse just in time. Beast is restored to Adam, having earned the right to having his humanity back. It was a lovely way to cap off his development, and allowed him to earn his happily ever after.

Beast was very much Belle’s equal. Even nowadays they’re both promoted and marketed pretty equally. One’s story would have been incomplete without the other. They gave each other what they each wanted and needed. I’ll go into specifics for Belle when I get to her below, but in the Beast’s case he needed someone kind, but also independent. Someone who wouldn’t tolerate his behavior and push him to change himself, but still kind-hearted enough to see that there is something there and be willing to help. Belle treated him in a way that no one else had. She was defiant, but also caring. She pushed him to rediscover his humanity. She got him to want to be kind. She got him to want to be a better person, and he not only treated her better but he was kinder to his staff as well. He finally grew up from the spoiled brat that he was before. He had found a reason to, and his love was so genuine that he let Belle go to be with her father again. It’s a beautiful story of growth and did enough to make Beast’s issues clear and not excusable, but sympathetic enough that we wanted him to be better and feel happy when he does so. He’s the best developed male lead in a Disney Princess film up to this point and helped pave the way for equally well done male leads. Ones not there just to fill out a plot beat and be the princesses’ reward, but to stand at her side as her equal.

Boy did THAT one get long. there’s other minor characters. Le Fou, The Bimbettes, the psyche ward keeper voiced by the late, great Tony Jay, various other castle characters, etc. all of them are entertaining, I just don’t have much to say about them. So then... we have one more to go.

Belle Analysis

https://youtu.be/M4ne1A1aNrI

Belle is one of the most praised and beloved Disney Princesses of all time. She is smart, playful, independent, and kind-hearted. I feel like she gets overly praised at times, mainly because some like to use her to bash her four predecessors since she didn’t have the goal of falling in love. I won’t repeat what I said about the four, you can read the reviews, but it’s a VERY unfair argument not just to them, but to Belle as well. She’s used as a tool to bash other female characters instead of being loved for herself. Then agains he also gets bashed for the Stolkholm Syndrome argument, which we’ll get to that aspect here soon. But for now, let’s just discuss Belle piece by piece and see where the path leads us.

Belle’s intro establishes everything right off the bat. So much so that the intro sing is literally titled Belle. She’s bookish and cheerful, but it’s clear from her interactions witht he villagers and their own gossip that she’s seen as weird. The only people who seem to like her as she is is the bookshop owner and her own father. The women are jealous of her beauty, the men only see her for her beauty, and both sides are confused at her lack of conformity. Belle lives in a town that clearly has very old-fashioned views regarding gender roles. The men work, the women get married and have babies. They all seem content with this... except for Belle. She enjoys books and adventure, musing about wanting more than the provincial life that she has. She strolls through the village with her nose stuck in a book, but has no trouble navigating at all depsite the distraction. Books provide her a source of adventure and thrill that her limited life does not. She breaks those old-fashioned norms and he village is uttelry baffled at to how she can be this way. But what truly makes her a bafflement to everyone? Her utter rejection of Gaston. While just about every other women swoons at his feet, Belle couldn’t be less impressed if she tried. She’s familiar with how he is and if she had’t recieved his advances before their first scene, she’s probably seen it enough times to know that she doesn’t like him. Him dismisisng her passion for books and insulting her father did him no favors.

On the surface, Belle does’t seem bothered by these things. But when home, she does express some hurt about ti to her father, the one perosn who loves her for her unconditionally. She knows that she doesn’t fit in. She knows that she’s not happy with her life. She wants someone to understand her besides her father. She wants more to life where she can be herself. She wants to find love on her own terms and not have to deal with the advances of men like Gaston. None of this stops her form being able to handle herself, as demonstrated when Gaston goes to her house to force a proposal. She handles kicking him out with utter grace and her “I don’t deserve you” line is icing on the cake. But none of that changes how she feels. If anything, it enforces it. The village is all on Gaston’s side and at that point, her father has left for the science fair. He won’t be there forever, hence why she wants to find someone who will love her for her. To control her own destiny. To those who feel forced into their gender roles or being forced into a relationship that they don’t want whether by an agressive person or by peer pressure, Belle’s struggle is very relatable. Her independant spirit is also admirable as while she is dismayed with where she’s at, she still is able to smile and live her life as she wants. She’ defiant. She makes do with what she has and is able to handle what’s thrown at her with pure wit and ingenuity. Gaston nor anyone else can bring her down... at least, not until her wish for adventure ends up unexpectedly granted.

Before we progress forward, let’s pause to discuss Belle’s VA, Paige O’Hara. When Beauty and the Beast was beginning casting, O’Hara was already a rising Broadway actress and Disney happened to be seeking Broadway talent specifically. After several call-backs, she finally earned the part. She’s credited Howard Ashman as a huge help in guiding her to finding her voice as Belle, and she performs the role beautifully. She captures Belle’s independence yet playfulness very well, as well as her defiance and heartbreak in certain scenes. And her singing? Beautiful. Maybe not on par with Jodi Benson, but you can tell why she was a rising Broadway star. Today, O’Hara works mainly as a painter with Belle very much being one of her main muses. Sadly due to how much her voice has aged, she rarely plays Belle herself anymore, the role nowadays being primarialy done by VA Julie Nathanson. While she also does a lovely job at the part, O’Hara will always be the first to bring the character to life. Fortunteley she still shows a lot of love for the role and has attended multiple events and even got to reprise Belle at least one more time during Ralph Breaks the Internet. She had reprised Belle multiple times between various DTV films, TV appearances, and other events. So even if she is limited nowadays, her large body of work will live on forever.

Back to the film, Belle discovers that her father is in danger and ends up at the castle. We all know what happens at this point. Belle offers to take her dad’s place, Beast agrees, and Maurice is kicked out before Belle can so much as say goodbye. She’s distraught at this, and who can blame her? In a matter of hours, her life as she knew it was ripped away from her. Now instead of her old provincial life, she’s a prisoner in an enchanted castle ruled by an angry beast. Even when given the nicer room, she doesn’t feel that much better. She’s never going to get to see her father again or even know if he’s safely back home. She has no reason to believe that a rescue is coming. Some may say that she should try and get out, but isn’t she allowed this? To be upset and at a loss of what to do? It’s not like she just cries the whole time, she calms down enough to refuse to go to dinner despite the others insisting that she does. Even when Beast yells at her to do so, she refuses. She may be a prisoner, but she’s not going to play the victim. She’s going to be as she normally is; however she wants to be.

Soon, Belle’s able to calm down enough that she decides to go explore the castle. She is ultimateley a curious, adventurous spirit. Regardless of the circumstances, she can’t help but want to learn more about this new, strange place and these new figures that she’s encountered. You can tellt hat she’s warming up reatly during Be Our Guest where despite not actually getitng to eat anything, she is just havng far too much fun to care. It gets her spirits back up and now she can’t resist exploring more. Even if it risks The Beast’s wrath, one her curiosity has peaked, she can’t resist it. It’s a great strength, but also probably her biggest flaw. Despite having been told not to and knowing by now how Beast will react, she slips away from Cogsworth and Lumiere to go explore the West Wing. This ends with her seeing the trashed area, finding the Enchanted Rose, and getting yelled at by an enraged Beast. That is the last push needed to make Belle decide to escape.

So now that we’re at this point, we have to talk about one of the big topics that comes up when discussing this film: Stockholm Syndrome. To put it simply, Stockholm Syndrome is when the victim becomes emotionally attached to their aggressor and doesn’t want to leave them and tries to justify their actions. So when the vicitm is rescued, they may react negativly or even aggressively towards the rescuers in favor of the agressor. it’s a psychological response. This is actually a case where I was able to go to a professional to ask about it,: my own mother. My mom is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and currently works as a therapist. I’m fairly sure that she’s never treated anyone with Stockholm, but it is something that she knows of. I did ask her about if the film did glorify Stockholm Syndrome as some accuse it of. The gist of what she told me is... well, there’s enough in-film that either side can use it to prove their case. After all she DOES develop positive feelings towards Beast while a prisoner, so one can take the context and use it as an example, and same for the side who don’t agree. Ultimately Belle is a ficitonal character. We can’t sit her down and give her a psychoanalysis because she’s not real, and most of us doing these analysis’ aren’t therapists, psyologists, or mental health experts anyways. I’ll leave some sources below if you’d like further reading on the topic, but doing research isn’t the same as being a professional trained to go over these kinds of things. My mom said at most, Beast can be viewed as emotionally abusive, though it is because of his own trauma and he did ultimately improve to be a better person.

I fully agree that yes, if someone wants to make the arguent that the film promotes Stockholm Syndrome, they can. It’s their opinion, this came out in a diferent time than now where we take things like emotional abuse in cinema far more seriously, and in the end it’s a piece of fiction and people are free to view it however they wish. But the same also applies to me and in my opinion, no. Belle does NOT suffer from Stockholm Syndrome nor does the film glorify it. Now I am not an expert by any stretch of the imagination. This is strictly my opinion going off my understanding of it. I may be wrong and if that’s the case, I apologize. But from what I know and understand, the case in the film is not a straight forward situation like the various case studies in the real world. Plus I think we see enough of Belle being defiant and not feeling positivly towards Beast to see that she certainly hasn’t developed any psychological attachment towards him to cope with her situation. We’ll be seeing her feelings towards him change, but I’ll explain why I don’t feel that it counts down below. But again, I’m not an expert. This is just my understanding of it.

So... why the long tangent there? Well we’re now at the wolf attack scene. The turning point in the relationship. Belle’s effort to escape ends with her cornered by a pack of vicious wolves. Fortunateley, The Beast rescues her and drives the wolves away... but he is inured in the process and passes out. As I said in Beast’s character breakdown, he didn’t have to do it at that point since he’d given up, but he did so anyways. It showed that he isn’t a bad person. Something that Belle also saw. The Beast had been aggressive and rude to her throughout, and she had every good reason to continue on her way now that the path was clear. But Belle didn’t. She got Beast onto her horse and took him back to the castle, the closest shelter, to treat his wounds. Is this because she feels compelled to do so after forming a psychological dependency or attachment to him? No. We see as she treats his wounds that she still isn’t going to tolerate his temper and rudeness towards her. She stands up for herself and talks back at him until he calms down. She very much retains her independence. So then... why did she save him? Because Belle is a good-hearted person who just saw this seemingly hateful beast save her life when he didn’t have to. She isn’t the kind of person to leave an injured person to die. She did it out of kindness and gratitude as we see when she genuinely thanks Beast for saving her life. She’s seen a new side to him now, and it’s made her reconsider her earlier stance. Thus Belle remains at the castle.

The characteristics of Stockholm Syndrome include positive feelings towards the captor and belief of goodness in the captor, no real effort in escaping, learned helplessness, and feelings of pity to the captor. You can read the list and learn more here, and the link will also be with the sources. So you’re probably looking at that and going ‘...uuuggghhhh’ at the movie right now. Which fair enough. However let’s also look at where we are now. This is the part of the film where Beast makes an honest effort to improve himself. He’s nicer, trying to be more polite, and treats Belle as a person. She’s really not a prisoner anymore at this point and while mybe theposisbility of being human again is motivating Beast, for the most part I think it’s because he genuinely grows to like Belle. As for Belle, I think that she likes the castle. It’s enchanted and full of intrigue and mystery, just like in her books. It’s the escape form that provincial life in the village that she’s been longing for. It’s a temptation that she just can’t resist. The staff all like her and treat her kindly and no one tries to force her to be something that she isn’t. Beast especially loves Belle’s love of books, even giving her the huge library to repay her earlier kindness. Belle is able to be who she is and be around those who are accepting of her. Even fi for the staff it’s for ulterior motives, IDT that they’re faking liking having her around and Beast certainly isn’t. This isn’t really a straight-forward captive or abuse situaiton that Stockholm Syndrome would apply to in my opinion, especially since Belle never once succumbs to the Beast’s terms. She only respects and acts friendly with him when he does so towards her, and they are both clearly benefiting positivly from it. We know that Beast has no malicious intenitons regarding Belle and it’s Lumiere and co. insisting on the relaitonship happening moreso, and that’s because they want their humanity back so it adds a bit of complexity. It’s just not a straight forward case where we can easily apply Stockholm Syndrome to and get an accurate reading, at least in my opinion. She certainly is FAR from helpless.

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So then let’s discuss Belle’s feelings for The Beast. We know how much Belle’s influence changed The Beast. But what about Belle? She really doens’t change during the movie, nor did she realy need to. She’s already confident about herself, likes herself, and she knows what she wants with her life. Sure her curiosity can get her into trouble, but otherwise she didn’t realy need a character arc like Beast did. What Belle needed was acceptance. To find someone who would like her for who she is and not see her as weird for it. Beast doesn’t at all view her that way. He enjoys being around her because she’s smart and independant and even gets her to read to him. It’s that kind of acceptance that Belle hasn’t recieved from anyone outside her father. The more that she sees Beast try to be better, the more that she sees how sweet and endeairng that he really is and she’s more than happy to help him. I think that seeing this kinder side bloom and that acceptance and even enjoyment of her is what makes Belle fall in love with him. It’s what helps make the ballroom scene so magical. Two people considered outsiders coming together and dancing the night way happily together. It’s beautiful, magical, and the perfect culminaiton in everything prior. They brought out the best in each other. Made each other happier in a way that no one else had ever done. They’re better now because of the other, and it’s just lovely to see.

But of course, we know what comes next. While happy with Beast and being at the castle, Belle still misses her father. When she sees him in the snow and horirbly sick, she’s distressed. Seing this, Beast allows he to go. Honestly I think that Belle could have left whenever she wanted at that point and Beast wouldn’thave fought it, but she was staying willingly at that point because she was happy. But her father needed her now. If she truly had Stockholm Syndorme, I don’t think that she would have done so. But she doesn’t really give it any kind of thought here. While sad to leave The Beast, she has alreayd mad eup her mind when told that she could go. She leaves to save her father, The Beast giving her the mirror and unbeknownst to her Chip tagging along. Belle fortunateley gets Maurice home safely... and just in time for Gaston to initiate his plan to have Maurice locked away. Belle is of course shocked and outraged and in a panic, uses the mirror to confirm The Beast’s existence. Despite her insistence that he isn’t a bad person, it’s too late. Gaston realizes that she’s in love with the ‘monster’ and we get the iconic line: “He’s no monster Gaston, you are.” Beast treated her like a person and improved himself from his more toxic behavior. Gaston treated her like the prey that he seeks during his hunts, refusing to let up until he’s won. Beast had even kept his word about letting Maurcie go and returned him to the village safely, and of course let Belle go to help him and even seemed to feel guilty for what he had done previously. Gaston though? He shows no guilt over trying to use Maurice to blackmail Belle. He continues his horrible behavior not only by forming the mob, but locking Belle and Maurice in their own cellar for simply speaking against it. Belle didn’t call Gaston a monster because she’s been conditioned or due to a coping reflex. It’s because Gaston is a genuinely despicable person while Beast grew to become a good person. She saw this and stood her ground as she always has, but this time at the point where she won’t tolerate it anymore. Which if it was your parent being shipped off to the insane asylum by some jerk just because they want to marry you, woudln’t you call them a monster in comparison?

So we reach the climax. Belle and Maurice arrive after Chip frees them with Belle rushing to get to Beast. She makes it and seeing her reignites Beast’s will to live... but he’s stabbed by Gaston. Belle saves Beast from falling over the roof, but there’s nothing that she can do to stop him from dying. She’s devestated, blaming herself for it. Beast’s final words to her are that at least he got to see Belle one last time, and if she hadn’t figured it out before, I think that this was when Belle realized that Beast loved her... and that she loved him. We knew that Beast certianly loved her but we needed it confirmed from Belle as the curse was still intact. As Beast lay motionless, Belle cries and at last confesses that yes, she does love him... just as the last rose petal falls. With that confession, the curse breaks and Beast is ressurected/becomes human again. Belle is shocked as she sees not The Beast standing before her, but Prince Adam. You can tell how confused she is. is this reallyt he same person that she loved? Adam confirms it and Belle looks into his eyes... and that’s all it takes for her to finally smile. yes, it is the same man that she had fallen in love with. They kiss,a nd the curse is truly broken. Everyone becomes human again,t he castle is restored to it’s original state, and Belle and Adam dance happily, free to live happily ever after.

Belle is a role model character. She’s there for girls to look up to, and I think that the amount of fans that she has proves that she succeeded. She encourages girls to be themselves. To be independant and not bend to social norms or pressure. To find love for themselves and not succumb tot he pressure of unwanted admirers or the pressure to marry them. Something that happens far too much in reality. She doesn’t change, but there was no reason for her to. As I said, Belle’s not one of my favorites. Not because I dislike her by any means. if anythign I like her much more now as an adult now that I have a stronger understanding of the film. I just have princesses that I like more, and that’s really it. I also don’t like how some insist that she’s the best Dsney Princess compared to her predecessors because as I hope I made clear in those reviews, the previous four pricnesses are NOT badly done. If anything, I think it’s more anti-femenist to use a woman to bash other women without just cause. Saying that belle is better because she didn’t fall in love witht he guy at first sight or didn’t sell her soul for a guy without caring to analyze those characters isn’t empowering, it’s saying that if you don’t act a certain way as a woman, you’re anti-feminist. Which is a terrible stance. No woman is the same and women shouldn’t be used against women in this kind of way. Regardless, that’s an issue with certain ‘critics’, not Belle herself. She’s a great character and someone that I can admire. Maybe not as much as others, but I can certainly see why she’s left such an impact on so many and not even just little girls. To many people of all kinds. Who could be upset about that?

Final Thoughts

Beauty and the Beast is a lovely film. Is it my favorite? No. I didn’t watch it all that much as a kid. As an adult I have a greater appreciation for it. It’s beautfully animated, it’s themes are well-protrayed and still relevant, the characters are memorable and fun, and it’s music is phenomenal. I can absoluteley see why this as the first animated film to ever be niminated for Best Picture. It’s a tragedy that it lost, but it still proved that animation very much had staying power as Walt proved all those years ago. And of course the film is the final testament of Howard Ashman. He may not have been part of the Disney Renaissance for long, but his contributions single-handedly changed the company and their films for the better. Even today this style of musical films is very much going strong even over 30 years since it began with The Little Mermaid. We lost Ashman far too soon, and who knows what amaizng things he could have one if he were still alive. We can never know the what ifs, but we can always appreciate what came during his lifetime. He, Kirk Wise, Gary Trousdale, Alan Menken, Don Hahn, various animators, and so many more did so much to bring this film to life, and it will forever stand as a true Disney Masterpiece.

The film was a giant success, and Disney wasn’t slowing down one bit. The very next year, another animated feature would come out. A film about a dashing street rat who found a magic lamp and unleashed a magical genie who would make all his dreams come true. But wait you may ask, isn’t this a Disney Princess retrospective? Yep. So why am I talking about a dashing hero? Well there is a princess in it, but she occupies a bit of a unique place in the line-up. She is the first and so far only Princess to not be the main charater in her film. But she still left a huge impact and i included in the main lineup so we are NOT leaving her out. So next time, come along as we enter a whole new world to discuss 1992’s Aladdin, and in particular Princess Jasmine.

Image Source: Animation Screencaps

Further Reading on Stockholm Syndrome: Healthline, Medical News Today, GoodTherapy, WebMD,

#callie reviews #disney princess reviews #beauty and the beast

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dappercritter · 4 years

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Random She-Ra Season 5 Thoughts: THE FINAL RAMBLING

Yep. I finally got all my crazy absurd thoughts about this gay adventure-romance-drama cartoon summarized into one incoherent yet fun to read computer document/article! ...four months after the show itself ended. Oh well, no one’s perfect. Anyways, there are a whole lot more insane observations than ever before, so I had to put it below a link so this thing didn’t back up my blog or any of yours. Hope you enjoy reading through these as much I enjoyed spouting them for no discernible reason other than I felt like it!

-I feel that since is the last season, I ought to talk about an important part of the show that I’ve been putting off: the animation. It’s… okay. It’s definitely smoother than what the original 80’s show and it’s brother series (heheh) looked like, but at the same time it still seems to suffer from similar limitations which causes some distracting moments of stiffness. But other than that, it’s pretty good. It’s no Titmouse or Studio Mir but it looks good and it gets the job done.

-After all, let’s not forget: “Imperfection is beautiful!”

-Even when things are at their lowest, Adora is a jock with a heart of gold.

-Horde Prime and the Galactic Horde’s aesthetic feels like a mixture of Catholicism, Scientology, Heaven’s Gate, and modern Microsoft, and honestly, that just makes him creepier.

-Speaking of Horde Prime, he didn’t waste any time with destroying Bright Moon. …apparently.

-Furthermore, on the topic of his giant holographic messages, WAS THAT A FREAKING MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE MOVIE REFERENCE?!

-Boy, Glimmer and Catra sure got along quickly! It’s almost like they magically understand each other because they both assumed leadership roles and screwed up big time! …I guess.

-Either that or this season is going to be a speedrun.

-Wow, the Rebellion sure got used to having a once-thought-dead king as well as a known enemy general/abuser running around their camp awful fast, didn’t they?

-Mara’s got a spaceship, a cyber girlfriend, a magic grandma, a dragon, a tragic backstory, AND a force ghost?! Dang, even in death, the girl’s got it all. No wonder everyone likes her!

-(*me looking at the TV rating at the start of episode*) “Why is language in there? Is there surprise cuss words or something in this season?” (*sees Horde Prime seize control of a clone for the first time*) “HOLY FREAKING SH—oh that’s why.”

-Applause to the crew for making the “dinner with Prime” scene for making a meal between a sparkly princess, a catgirl, and alien cult leader feel even more uncomfortable than it had a right to.

-(*me throughout the season whenever a clone was onscreen*) Is that Hordak? Is that him? Is that him? Is that him right there? Oh it is—oh no wait. … Is that h—

-Extra applause for having Glimmer learn from her grey-area wetwipe phase and refusing to sell out her friends again whilst telling the imperialist cult leader where to stick it.

-I would pay a sizeable portion of my life savings to hear what a Scorpia and Swift Wind duet would sound like.

-In fact, I’d double it if it was just Scorpia singing.

-Ah what the heck. I would triple it for an entire She-Ra musical!

-As happy as I am to see to see Entrapta interacting with the other princesses again, I have to say that their big reunion left me with some mixed feelings. Here’s a quick rundown:

-Entrapta, a grown autistic woman, being led around on a leash by non-neurodivergent teenagers—again: that’s bad.

-The Princesses confronting Entrapta about joining the Horde: that’s good!

-The Princesses blaming all their problems with the Horde bots on Entrapta’s actions and her hyper fixations alone: that’s bad.

-Entrapta explaining herself, admitting that she regrets her mistakes, and getting the Princesses to understand that she thinks and communicates differently, but in spite of that, she really does want help find Glimmer: that’s good!

-Entrapta never gets to call out the Princesses for how poorly they treated her: that’s bad.

-Entrapta saves the day and goes to space: that’s good!

-Scorpia and Entrapta still haven’t interacted even though the former is with the Rebellion in the first place because she went to look for her because she is her best friend: …can I go home now?

-How nice! Michah finally got to shapeshift!

-And he’s rocking that She-Ra outfit to boot!

-So is Darla a back up of Light Hope or do they just run on the same operating system and have the same voice?

-I could watch an entire season of Adora, Bow, and Entrapta going on space adventure in a rundown ship with their custom-made spacesuits, tbh.

-Is anyone else weirded out that Catra’s younger self looked at her in her flashback(?).

-Actually what WAS happening there, anyhow?

-(*watching Bow’s spacewalk to save Glimmer*) “Is that a Gravity reference?” asked the man who never saw Gravity.

-Speaking of spacewalks, how did Glimmer survive those precious few seconds in space? Does the teleporter teleport a breathable atmosphere too?

-Also, Catra, WHY did you think it would be a good idea to teleport Glimmer into space? I know you had a plan and the ship was right there but… Ah, never mind.

-Not that I’m complaining but Glimmer’s apology to the rest of the friend squad for her HORRIBLE plan last season went… surprisingly quickly.

-You know as cool as The Star Siblings are, being a quirky band of space-travelling siblings with cool powers and some trans rep to boot, I only have one small problem with them: weren’t there already Star Sisters on Etheria back in season 1?

-That doesn’t sound right, but I don’t know enough about Masters of the Universe characters to dispute it.

-Entrapta confirmed pan, objectum, AND horny on main. Dang girl, you’re gonna have fun whether you got Hordak back or not…

-“The Velvet Glove” is both a menacing and stupid name for a decadent overlord’s mothership.

-Wait, it’s from the 80’s canon? Oh. That kind of explains it, actually.

-Goshdangit, I wanted Catra to face punishment for her crimes, but I didn’t think that would involve going to evil alien conversion therapy!

-Nor did I want her to die! For a second. Actually, since it obviously wasn’t going to last I was… weirdly okay with that part???

-Horde Prime seems awfully okay with Catradora. I mean he’s still super creepy and manipulative about it, but also oddly progressive for an evil brainwashing cult leader.

-(*Adora transforms into a She-Ra through seer will*) First of all, called it. Second of all, WOAH MAMA now that’s a glow up!

-Wrong Hordak did not have to be a thing, and yet, I’m glad that he is.

-Hordak remembers the LUVD crystal and Entrapta… Hordak remembers Entrap—! It’s happening! Oh my gosh, it’s happening! Everybody stay calm!

-Wow, Entrapta didn’t have to be so forgiving of Catra for everything she’s done to her but she did. Only I’m not sure if that was Entrapta taking the high road or the low road.

-Or which road the crew took for that matter.

-I remember when I thought those “Chipped AUs” floating around here on tumblr were just something the fans came up with and that chipping people was not an actual despicable thing Prime does in canon. I miss those days.

-I know it’s not the same as before or the original design, but True She-Ra’s designs and powers? I think they slappin’.

-Hooray, Adora and Catra are finally making up! And it only took four and half seasons worth of communication failures, toxic villainous behaviour, and physical violence for Catra to snap out of it!

-…We can go back to Entrapdak now, right?

-Poor Elberon. First they unknowingly adopt a double agent then get invaded by the Horde and now they’re getting brainwashed and chipped by the Galactic Horde. They might be a cute village, but they got some pretty lousy security.

-You know it’s cute that Micah is doing his best to be friends with Frosta and get back in touch with his dad-side, but look I can’t be the only one worried about how the local King is a less proactive leader than the princesses or the known war criminal/abuser, right?

-“The Perils of Peekablue” or as I like to call it, “You Thought ‘Boys Night Out’ Caught You Emotionally Off-guard? Hah! Watch This.”

-You know I didn’t think Scorpfuma would be a thing aside that one moment of flirting near the end of season 4, but they really pushed for it to be a thing! This is… actually pretty great! Perfuma’s not perfect, and I would have appreciated giving them a little more time to bond and form some real chemistry, but at least she reciprocates Scorpia’s sweetness instead of rebuffing it in increasingly aggressive fashion.

-I’m not sure what’s more concerning: that Mermista set a boat on fire, that it’s worded like she had a fling as part of some experimental phase, or that Sea Hawk is turned on by this.

-Peekablue might not be real, (I think?) but he is one dapper dude! Female-to-male redesigns could learn a thing or two from him.

-It involved them getting stung and seizuring, but that was a heck of a way to reintroduce Double Trouble! I swear I got watching them cycle through their transformations in some sort of physical reaction.

-Or maybe that was just me worrying about their wellbeing…

-Okay, I get the Chips are huge, and actually rather clever threat, but how do these characters get chipped in the first place? I get there are chipped people who spread the chips throught the population but where do they get those from???

-Do one of those Horde Prime drones just sneak behind someone, slap a chip on their nape then hand them a whole bagfull and say, “Beep boop beep, Horde Prime’s Light, blah blah blah. Alright have fun, kiddo”?

-Or is it some sort of Alien: Covenant deal where they’re just floating around and Lord help you if one sticks to you?

-HOLY CRAP THEY ACTUALLY GOT SCORPIA TO SING! AND SHE WAS GREAT!

-Oh shoot. Guess I owe the crew twice my life savings now…

-Entrapdak might be what got me into this show, but it’s Double Trouble that kept me around, so you can imagine how happy I was to see them make their grand reappearance!

-Conversly, you can imagine my disappointment when they just disappeared until the finale.

-And on that note: HOW DID YOU GUYS LOSE DOUBLE TROUBLE?!

-You forgot to cherish them, didn’t you?

-So, Scorpia sacrifices herself just after finding a new girlfriend and gaining some newfound confidence, Mermista and Sea Hawk are split up,and Double Trouble didn’t join the main cast. Why can’t you just have fun like a normal cartoon, show?

-Gosh, I love me some shifting title cards!

-Is it just me or did they sneak in some more Annihilation references on Krytis?

(-Said the guy who was too chicken to watch the movie and just read about it and watched a few clips online.)

-(*audibly sighs*) FINE. I guess I like Catradora now. Are you happy now, SPOP Crew? ARE YOU?!

-Hooray, Catra’s got a emotional support animal! And they’re a shapeshifting magic alien cat. Those are the best kind!

-Is it weird that I knew that weird glowing stuff on Krytis was just magic all along, or was it just not hidden very well. Anyways, I like Krytis. I like that we got to see a truly alien world with its own form of magic.

-Plus, we got a logical advancement of the magic versus science subtheme with magic being Horde Prime’s weakness! Neato!

-Getting back on the “which is worse?” wagon for a second, I don’t know what feels less right: that Wrong Hordak’s big revelation and his resolution to free himself and his brothers and friends from Horde Prime’s control is played humorously, or that Real Hordak should be the one having this moment.

-That bit with Castaspella and Shadow Weaver where she tells Casta about Etheria being a living thing with inherent magical property, or whatever, while we got a peaceful shot of some boar creatures sleeping was actually kind of nice. It would have been nicer though if it wasn’t part of a power hungry abuser’s obvious scheme. If only there was a kindly old witch lady character who was in touch with nature and knew just what to say when someone was feeling downOH WAIT.

-Furthermore… Why did Shadow Weaver and Castaspella need to have romantic tension?

-Seriously though, where’s our Madame Razz quota this season? Where’s my supportive magic grandma timelord at, yo?

-Yup, they speedran this season.

-I’m actually really disappointed we didn’t see more of an intergalactic new rebellion rising up to fight Horde Prime’s forces across the universe. Especially if it meant we got to see more Star Sibling action!

-Again, I adore Wrong Hordak but I keep wondering what was keeping the crew from just bringing in Original Flavour Hordak. (You know, aside from teasing us Entrapdak fans and trying to distract us with a loveable new character in the meantime.) I mean he could have done the whole infiltrating the clone squads and tricking them bit, too.

-Heck, he could have done the wink, too!

-I’d gleefully point out Loo-Kee’s cameo this season but apparently, they already made some several seasons ago. That’s what I get for not rewatching the 80’s show and training my eyes first.

-(*sees Erelandians*) Are those freaking Toads and Toadettes?

-So, what’s keeping them from just hitting Spinerella’s chip again? Besides emotional baggage and gale force winds, I mean.

-Perfuma coming out of a cave scared out of her wits, demanding to know who’s there, clinging to her friends as soon as they come back, and balling her eyes out is a big, BIG mood.

-Frosta absolutely decking Catra in the face was nestled somewhere between cathartic and excessive.

-Netossa spraying her with a bottle of water on the other hand…

-Oh, so Greyskull was the name of a Rebel Squad! I think. Meh, the important thing is we got an explanation and it still sounds cool.

-Leave it to a couple of dads to make a secret message out of a dad joke.

-You know I made fun of Light Hope for being creepy, but I swear that avatar from the Spire is even creepier. I don’t know if it’s her face—those dang blank eyes, man—or just that it she’s less animated than the real thing, but it just felt… off.

-Aww, Noelle made Netossa’s princess weakness illustrations! So cute!

-Forget episodes that deserves Emmys, Keston John deserves one for voicing Hordak, Horde Prime, all the clones, and several minor villains and giving each and every single one a distinct voice! Where my king’s respect, eh?

-Yes, Catra you had a small disagreement with Hordak. …Over sending his girlfriend and your “friend” to DIE IN A LITERAL LIVING HELL.

-Sorry, I just had to get that out of my system.

-Why does Perfuma get pressured to get angry and go wild when Entrapta’s the one who’s had it the worst out of all them? Why can’t my gamer girl go berserk, dammit!?

-Okay, but really, how do these fricking chips work??? Are they parasite devices who store Horde Prime’s Baptizing Dew then slowly pump it into their host’s bodies? Do they have their own nervous systems? Are they technorganic? Also, how and why do we need to make these chips are bigger threat then they need to be?

-Horde Prime showing up on Hordak’s throne in grand Killing Joke style and casually throwing shades at his brother’s overblown attempts to impress him is pretty awesome, but it feels strangely underdeveloped. Hordak’s not there to have his hard work insulted and we never got to see Adora have any similar encounter with Hordak here before, so unless you look at it from the perspective of someone who has been here before in the Horde story like Catra it lacks the dramatic weight it should have had.

-Scorpia resisting the chip to save her new friends was pretty great, though.

-I swear, when they got to the scene where Adora and the others figured out that Shadow Weaver was grooming her so she could use her to get to the Heart of Etheria, I was mouthing “You B***H” through the whole thing.

-They really brought back Etherian deep magic just so they had something to make Micah threatening. …okay.

-Okay, the rest of “Failsafe” messed me up, so here’s a rundown on all the other messy thoughts I had while the show ripped my heart and ground it to dog food:

-Entrapta and Hordak reuniting: Yay!

-Swift Wind yanking her away before she can get through to him: Boo.

-Catra encouraging Adora to try and take care of herself for a change: Yay!

-Adora hurts Catra and she runs away: Boo.

-Adora finally calling out Shadow Weaver on what an utterly horrible person she is: Yay!

-Adora resolves to risk sacrificing herself to save the world: Bo—okay, seriously, was all this suffering really necessary, show?

-I know I mentioned in my previous She-Ra random thoughts that I supported Glimmadora, but I am okay with Catradora and Glimbow ending up canon. The only problem I have is how rushed they feel—moreso with Glimbow. With Catradora, the crew had an entire season to make it work again and they took it. Glimbow it feels like they were down to the last few episodes and went, “Oh right, we were gonna do something with these two!” then did their darndest to fit in some chemistry in between all the other stuff going down.

-As ominous as it was, the music where Horde Prime starts hacking Etheria honestly SLAPS.

-Okay, I know everyone is magic or something, but I am legit surprised getting electrocuted in water didn’t kill the heroes right then and there.

-Sea Hawk tries to flirt with his girl even as she’s trying to kill him. Truly, he is a man of taste.

-What do you know, Shadow Weaver can only do good when she’s (canonically!) punch drunk.

-You know a whole lot of this could have been avoided if Holo-Mara was Adora’s mentor instead of Light Hope.

-When I think about it, it was actually really clever to make Horde Prime the final villain for Adora to face: a domineering decadent man who’s been in power forever against a humble emotionally vulnerable compassionate young woman.

-Not to mention the divide between cult-like oppression and progressive freedom. Or something.

-Holy crap, did the First Ones get a great freaking a Great Old One for a guard dog?!

-So, you guys seriously didn’t bring Angella back to reunite with her family OR mention her all season after the impact her death had on everyone all last season until Glimmer needs a power-up at the last possible minute and then you never bring her up again. That is absolutely a dick move in bird culture.

-Entrapta’s hacker sticker gives me life. Gamer girl gremlin princess forever!

-On the one hand, I’m disappointed that Adora and Catra don’t get to have an awesome couple battle against the security monster and win. On the other hand, Shadow Weaver is finally dead. YAY!

-With apologies to the writers and especially Lorraine Toussaint. She did splendidly bringing this character to life and even if I hated Shadow Weaver, I adored the effort she put into making her one of the most emotionally complex villains I’ve ever seen.

-Words cannot, will not, and will never describe the pure joy that I experienced when I first saw Hordak’s big scene: standing up to and disowning his tyrant brother, saving Entrapta, declaring his love to her (albeit in a nicely lowkey fashion), and then throwing Horde Prime to his apparent doom Disney style with Entrapta cheering him with sheer glee. GOSH, it was everything I could have hoped for from this season!

-Now if only they kept the deleted scene where they got a moment to themselves before Prime body-jacked him again like the creepy sonuvabich he is.

-Horde Prime just wouldn’t be a religious villain if he didn’t tell everyone to burn.

-Bonus points for actually trying to burn the frigging planet.

-Aside from the idea of Adora switching to wearing a She-Ra themed dress everywhere in the future, the future vision was really quite sweet, and seeing Prime step in to ruin it made it all the more impactful.

-Can I just say that it’s absolutely wonderful that the show, for all it’s flaws, said “**** senseless heroic sacrifices”?

-BREAKING: Lesbian cat finally makes up with her jock ex, has a canon kiss so pure it saves the world!

-In other news, Catradora fans are still spoiled rotten.

-Wow, look at all those character comebacks they skipped through! Look, there’s the chefs from Dryl, Double Trouble, Huntara, the Horde Trio, Imp, Madame Razz—are you kidding me?!

-Grumbling aside, I actually find the idea of the Horde Trio and Imp getting involved in a G-rated science-fantasy version of the first Hangover movie quite amusing.

-Oh dang, they pulled a Castle in the Sky with the Velvet Glove!

-As nice as it was to see Aodra save Hordak from Horde Prime and destroy the latter through exorcism via sheer compassion, I’m rather disappointed we never got to see She-Ra go full Metal Gear Solid Rising: Revengence on any creepy old cult leaders.

-Yeah, it would have gone against the “love conquers all” set up, but love takes on many forms, does it not? So, why can it not manifest as cleaving your mortal enemies with extreme prejudice to save your loved ones?

-Furthermore, in addition to Holo-Mara being a better mentor, Hordak raising Adora instead Shadow Weaver could have prevented a lot of similar problems. Maybe. Possibly.

-Eh whatever, he has a lifetime’s worth of fanfiction to make up for it.

-ENTRAPDAK IS CANON, ALL IS RIGHT WITH THE WORLD.

-And so is Catradora and Glimbow! That’s nice, too.

-Aww, how sweet of them to skip through Catra and Scorpia, and Glimmer and Micah’s big reunions! It’s not like we’ve been waiting forever for this stuff or anything. HahahahAHAHAHDHAHAHFHAFHKSADJHFKAJHDfine.

-And so it all ends with everyone either friends, in love, or both, as heroes decide to make up for it all with a grandiose sequel promising more exciting space adventures we probably won’t see! HOORAY!

-All snarky ranting aside, I actually really enjoyed the finale. It was exciting, heartwarming, and above all it ended on happy, hopeful note without leaving too many frustrating questions unanswered. (*glares with utmost contempt at Voltron and Star vs. The Forces of Evil*)

-You know, this wasn’t bad for a final season, but I think this might have worked better as two seasons. Not in Netflix’s cheap “split a regular 13-episode season in two 6-7 episode long seasons” strategy, but I mean two full seasons with their own storylines leading up to the grand finale:

-First, one that starts out with Horde Prime’s arrival the downfall of Etheria, focuses on the space adventures, ends with their return to Etheria and gives the characters time to recuperate from season 4.

-Then, we have one final season that focuses on the Best Friend Squad’s Return to Etheria, Horde Prime’s plan, gives everyone more time to properly reconcile before ¾ of the entire cast gets chipped, sets up a new Rebellion made up of Princess Alliance and former Etherian Horde members, maybe even set up a proper Hordak redemption arc or something, and then our big happy ending.

-On a mostly unrelated note, I also feel that the whole show could have turned out even better if it had been either a dedicated science-fantasy war drama with some levity (like the good Star Wars shows or Avatar: The Last Airbender) or a lighthearted yet empowering slice-of-life action-adventure romcom (i.e. basically a well-made remake of the original show in the style of Adventure Time and Parks and Rec or something).

-My final random thought for this whole thing: we really could have used a triumphant end credits song or something. Aside from obviously recommending Fabulous Secret Powers, I would have also recommended the original 4 Non Blondes “What’s Going On,” a reprise of “Warriors,” Gorillaz’s “We Got the Power,” or (my favourite) Talking Head’s “(Nothing But) Flowers” since the ending scenes remind me of it.

Thanks again to the crew for giving me something to live for and/or complain about!

Now, let’s hope the He-Man reboots do as well...

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flightsoffandom · 4 years

Text

The Truth

(The Sitter Part 6)

Pairs: Aaron Hotchner x Reader

Words: 1980

Summary: Aaron and the BAU start working on your case. You find out the truth about what happened but you find something else out along the way.

Warnings: Mentions of reader’s family’s death, mentions of child death, mentions of blood

Notes: Left completely gender-neutral. Collab Series I am doing with the ever amazing @less-intelligent-spencerreid If you are interested in being tagged in the future parts of this comment on this or send me an ask.

Continuation of The Sitter: Part 1–Part 2–Part 3–Part 4–Part 5–Part 6*

After the first night at Aaron’s, Penelope had offered to let you stay at her place. Derek also agreed to stay at Penelope’s as basically your bodyguard. Penelope tried really hard to make it like a sleepover. She always had fun movies to watch, junk food, and comfy blankets. So during the night, you could easily forget about your problems and worries for a few hours. It was when it was actually time for you to go to sleep that you had issues. Nothing against Derek, you hadn’t known him long but you trusted him. You just hadn’t been sleeping well at Penelope’s. You didn’t have the heart to tell her that though. The only time you had been able to get a decent amount of sleep with little to no nightmares was in Aaron’s office.

You woke up startled when Penelope walked into Aaron’s office. Your heart was racing as you sat up on the couch.

Penelope was talking a mile a minute holding a large stack of files in her hands, “It took some digging.” She walked over to Aaron at his desk, “Like some digging, digging. Had to partially hire the internet equivalent to a construction crew and use one of those scoopy excavator things to get through layers and layers of old murder cases from all over the country.”

You stare at the brightly colored woman who was being particularly loud. You tried to follow what Penelope was saying but she was talking so fast and your exhausted brain wasn’t letting you follow along, “What’s happening?”

Aaron was glaring at Penelope and you didn’t think it was just for her to get to the point, “Garcia!”

Penelope followed Aaron’s line of sight and landed on you. You rubbed the sleep out of your eyes trying to mentally catch up to what was happening.

Penelope made a face, “I am unbelievably sorry.” She didn’t give you a chance to reply before turning back to look at Aaron, “But I come bearing good…” Penelope makes an unpleasant noise, “Well not good actually, very terrible awful news but helpful.” Penelope finds the word she is looking for and continues, “I come bearing helpful news.” She gives an unsure shrug before handing the files over to Aaron.

Aaron looks over them, one by one. You tried to read his face but ever since Aaron took your case he seemed to only have two looks. Exhausted and determined, a lot of the times he was both at once. Penelope waited for some kind of reply.

Aaron got through the large stack of new files, “We need to bring these to the team.”

Penelope nodded and walked out of Aaron’s office to gather the rest of the team. Aaron grabbed the files and left as well. Leaving you behind for a moment. You wouldn’t be able to get back to sleep and you felt like you should know what was in those files. Even if you didn’t want to know was sort of despicable violence the killer stalking you was capable of. So you slide out of the office as well and slowly made your way to the meeting room, trying not to draw too much attention to yourself. As soon as you made it to the doorway of the conference room, Aaron spotted you. He walked over, physically blocking you from getting into the room.

Aaron looked at you with concern in his eyes, “You don’t need to see this.”

If you shifted just right you could see around him and into the room. Letting you catch glimpses of crime scene photos and evidence bags. Aaron immediately figures out what you’re doing and shifts with you to block your line of sight.

You glare at Aaron, “I don’t really want to look at all that stuff but I need too. I can help.”

A few of the other team members walk past the two of you, Aaron moving to only let them through. The minor standoff earning you side glances from passersby.

Aaron shakes his head, gently placing a hand on your shoulder to both comfort you and keep you from moving into the room, “I’ll keep you updated and ask you questions when we need more information. For now, you should rest.”

You move just enough to see what is happening in the meeting. Seeing the team pull evidence bags out of boxes. When you see a pair of picture frames you are immediately stunned. No longer able to hear anything even if Aaron was still talking to you. Drawn to the objects you step backward out of Aaron’s grasp and then push your way passed him. Slowly approaching the table you could feel eyes on you but you didn’t care. When you get to the table you pick up the two separate evidence bags.

The bags were both filled with a picture frame. Each photo showing two ‘lasts’. One was the last family photo you ever took with, Mom, Dad, Sammy, and yourself. It had been one of those yearly family photos. Some cheesy fake background with tacky matching outfits but each of you had big genuine smiles on your faces. The happy atmosphere of the photo was ruined by the broken glass that had allowed blood to seep through and stain the paper. The other picture was just as badly damaged. It had been the last picture taken of just you and Sammy. You had been pushing Sammy on the swings and your parents had managed to catch it on film. What should have been a good memory was now stained just like the other one. The rusty-red color of dried blood ruining some of the few good memories you had left of your family.

You finally started to gain some awareness again. You placed both bags onto the table before retreating back. Exiting the meeting room just as quickly as you had entered it. You had thought you were ready to look back at this evidence and even thought you could emotionally handle it. Seeing those pictures again however had proved you wrong. You make it back into Aaron’s office before you start crying. Seeing those happy memories with your family ruined by the same thing that had taken them away from you forever was too much. You had no idea what happened to the dozens of family photos that must have been in the house. The year after their murder was a blur and when you had finally came too you had just written off ever having a picture to remember them by. You cover your face with your hands before letting yourself fall back onto the couch. Letting yourself sob into the palms of your hands.

You don’t hear the door open. You feel Aaron rubbing your back and you look at him.

“You were right, I should have listened to Aaron. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize y/n, I know you just want to help.”

When you were calmed down he said, “I’m going to go help my team. We’ll catch this guy”

***

“Okay, the focus is clearly on the kids. With the vase and the birthday,” Morgan starts, thinking out loud. “I have an idea.” He said, calling Garcia in her office.

“You’ve reached the office of supreme genius, speak, and be dazzled.”

“Hey baby girl, I need you to get me a list of kids that died on their birthdays. I need it to be between 20 and 30 years ago.”

“Unfortunately, my chocolate thunder, that is a list of 27.”

“Cross it with kids that have an older brother that is still living. Also, look for suspicious hospital visits for both kids before the death.”

“One! Max Davis died on their birthday. They apparently fell off of a roof. Both Max and their older brother Jordan Davis had multiple hospital visits before Max’s death and Jordan’s continued their’s afterwards.

“Thanks Garcia.” He said hanging up the phone and going to find Hotch.

****

You’re standing in the observation room with Rossi while Hotch and the UnSub, Jordan Davis, are in the interrogation room. Hotch got a confession which ended with the UnSub yelling, “I couldn’t protect Max and these people couldn’t protect their younger siblings! It’s their own faults!”

Agents from a different unit came and took Davis into custody. Aaron came into the observation room and Rossi left. The two of you walked up to his office. He wrapped his arms around you and you put your face in his shoulder, tears running down your face.

“It’s okay y/n, you’re safe, we got him.”

He held onto you until you stopped crying and you pulled away. He looked at you with soft eyes, “Are you okay?”

You nod at him and respond, “It still hurts, but I feel like a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders.”

You offer him a small, genuine small. “Thank you.”

“Of course.” He returned your small smile.

“Do you want to go get something to eat?” You asked him, knowing he hadn’t eaten all day.

“Sure. Do you want to-uh make it a date?” He replied carefully.

“Do I-yes I would love to.” You smiled at him and he returned the gesture.

He grabbed his bag the two of you walked out of his office and to the elevator. Once you got out, he wrapped his free arm around your shoulder. It was warm and comfortable. He opened the passenger door of his vehicle for you.

****

You had both ordered and there was a lull in the conversation.

“Why were you so surprised when I asked you for a date?” He asked.

You blushed and said, “I may have overheard your conversation with Rossi.”

He chuckled and you let out a small laugh. “He could tell I was lying you know.”

You smiled. You seem to be doing that a lot lately. “Well, I’m glad you were.”

Just then the waiter arrived with your food. The two of you ate and continued talking. When you were both done, he paid the check. You tried to convince him to split it but he refused.

“At least let me get dessert then?” You wanted to repay the favor, but you also wanted the night to last as long as possible.

“What do you have in mind?” He asked as the two of you walked outside.

“We could walk to the ice cream shop that’s a few blocks away.”

“Sounds perfect.”

****

At the ice cream shop you ordered a waffle cone with cotton candy ice cream and he got a waffle cone with cookies and cream ice cream. After you paid you decided to take a longer way back to his car as you ate them. You talked and laughed with him the entire time.

He drove you home and walked you to your door. Before walking inside you turned around to face him.

“Goodnight Aaron.” You said as you looked up at him.

“Goodnight y/n.” The two of you held eye contact for a little while before he leaned in. He stopped just short of your lips, looking into your eyes for approval. You gave him a small nod and he gently cupped your face and pressed his lips to yours. They were warm and smooth. It lasted for a few seconds before he pulled away and took a breath. Your hands were on the back of his head and you gently pulled him back towards you. The second kiss was longer and deeper than the first. He tasted sweet from the ice cream. This time you pulled away, needing to breathe.

“Wow.” Was all you said once you caught your breath.

He smiled at you and nodded slowly.

“Goodnight y/n. I’ll see you tomorrow?”

You nodded and said “Goodnight.”

He walked back to his car to leave as you walked inside your house.

Continuation of The Sitter: Part 1–Part 2–Part 3–Part 4–Part 5–Part 6*

Tags: @shrimpyblog @hommoturttle @winterscaptain @jovialtimetravelgladiator @lex-is-a-shipper @cypherthetransmasc @winterparkers @1234-angelika @thosesteelblueeyesaremysafeplace

#Criminal Minds #aaron hotchner x reader #gender neutral #Criminal Minds Fanfiction #gender neutral reader #hotch x reader #reader insert #slow burn #series #aaron hotchner #fanfiction #fanfic #collab #TheSitterCollab

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