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laguera25 · 11 months

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I'm going to clarify something, and then I'm going to STFU until something more than unattributed screenshots and frazzled mania comes out.

I believe something happened to that woman. What I don't know is if it was anything untoward. Maybe between the booze and the excitement and her Lexapro and dehydration, things just went wonky, and she went off her ass. Maybe it was innocent.

Or maybe it wasn't. Maybe someone did spike her. Maybe they did it to make her more pliant, or maybe they did to get people high and didn't realize that whatever they added would interact badly with her meds.

I believe Till made an asshole of himself and pouted when she declined to have sex with him. I believe he sulked and flounced off.

And that alone makes him a dick. It doesn't speak well of him that he was willing to have sex with someone obviously off their ass and then turned into a toddler when she said no. It makes him sound sleazy, predatory, and entitled. And sad.

But.

This woman herself acknowledges that when faced with her refusal, Till accepted it. With ill grace, it must be said, but nonetheless. He did not press the issue.

I do not believe Till, or anyone else involved with Rammstein and its satellite organization, assaulted this woman. If Till had wanted to, he could've done so under the stage. No one did, and the woman herself claims that her memory didn't abdicate its duties until after that.

I'm not saying she wasn't assaulted; and to her credit, she has made no explicit claims as yet, though she's certainly been dancing around the subject since she first showed her bruises, especially the finger marks on her ribs. FWIW, I think she got most of those as she stumbled about in a stupor she does not recall. The finger marks may well be from equally intoxicated people trying to help her up.

In sum, I think Till has brought this on the band. Whether it was an intentional spike or a bad mix of booze and meds, he still tried to have sex with a woman blasted out of her mind, and even though he refused, the very fact that he attempted to do so has ratcheted up the nightmare scenarios of what might have happened in her mind. The truth is, she doesn't know what happened after her memory peaced out, and likely never will, but because Till showed his ass, she's always going to wonder. And that's on him. And on the band for letting these parties go on under their auspices.

I know this woman is now claiming this was never about legal justice, which doesn't really gibe with her first post, in which she swore to get "her justice, but there we are. I think she realizes that any chance she had of collecting physical evidence has passed and has now shifted gears to a righteous crusade to stop the "filth and depravity."

I can't say she hasn't been without success on that score because allegedly, the next few Row 0 parties have been nixed or moved to an outside club, and Alena is doing cack-handed damage control on IG, begging girls to post positive party experiences with the hashtag, "Istandwithrammstein." Which, LOL. I can't imagine the band came up with that dumbass stratagem. She, at least, is on the defensive. And fucking good.

All of that said, this woman's credibility is still shot, and rather than posting every harebrained, "My friend snorted coke off Till's dick" story that lands in her DMs, she needs to stop posting manic IG stories and get a lawyer because by posting every bit of drivel that floats into her inbox, she not only looks credulous and crazy, but she's opening herself up to legal action I'm sure she can't afford.

*There is a difference between credibility and truth. While this woman might be telling the truth about what happened to her as far as she can remember, she has no credibility because she's tossed it in among patent hogwash and posted shrill videos of herself as a an avenging angel for Great Justice, which makes her look like a gullible, loony misandrist.

**She's not claiming explicitly that Till or anyone affiliated with Rammstein sexually assaulted her, but she's certainly insinuating that they've done it to others, and that's what might land her in very deep trouble.

ETA: And now she's dragging Richard into it. His nefarious misdeed? Sitting in the same room at the afterparty. 'Kay.

#rammstein

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cyarskj1899 · 11 months

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STFU HAG WHERE WERE YOU WHEN A WHITE MAN SHOT AND KILLED BLACK PEOPLE. DONT BLAME THIS SHIT ON RACE/ETHNICITY WEIRDO

"did he cross the border" what a dumb btch

When the shooter is a minority y'all blame it on race and immigration. When the shooter is white y'all say it's their mental health and toothaches . It NEVER has to do with how easily accessible guns are.

Oh you turned off them replies like you wasn’t gonna be reminded that a white supremacist killed Black folks in a grocery store 10 days ago. What BORDER was he crossing, lady?! The one between his parents house and the store?! Turn them replies on. get dragged to hell

The way they allow folks to just say ANYTHING on the bird app is just unhinged! loony toons!

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debunkingkookies · 2 years

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Taekook is like Titanic

The ship, not the movie. This is a disaster waiting to blow up in many people's faces.

After the whole privacy invasion fiasco this past 2 months and how steadfast tkkers are still holding on, it's time this ship gets emptied out before the iceberg.

We'll see how many people can be saved.

P.S. Inspired by larry debunkers.

Although the situation is quite different from larries because it looks like those ppl are able to terrorize the guys' families, staff, friends etc. At least most tkkers on the www have a language barrier holding them back from becoming full-blown loonies. But then that gives them space to breed misinformation rapidly and feed on their delusions without anyone correcting them.

Admins of this blog aren't Korean but we are long time OT7 fans who do not partake in shipping. Shipping used to be a cute thing where compilations were made and fans got excited at fan service at concerts. Now, it's turning into this conspiracy theory fest and completely unfounded/false information is being spread around in shipper circles, even getting to non-shippers/non-fans because of how many people are confidently broadcasting their opinions.

Taekook would be the main target since that ship is the one with the most disconcerting fan behavior and twisted assumptions. Also, they're super annoying.

May also debunk other ships including Jikook, Vmin, Jinkook, Taejin, Namjin. These are the ships that also sometimes feed into shippers' frenzy and spread assumptions before verifying if they are true.

Not debunking the entire ship because that's not possible and we do not know any private information the members have not shared. Not claiming to know any of their relationships beyond what is shown to the public. Only taking single instances or topics to debunk.

To be clear we enjoy Taekook+other ship interactions because we like all seven of them, but we don't think your ship is real. So here are some truth bombs for delulu shippers to stfu

Listen to some Butterfly (Prologue remix).

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internal-orchids · 2 years

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Thanks. And Morbucks can be a lot sometimes but I think she has a soft spot for me. She’s always nice to me. -Loona

BIG ONE. She’ll be cussing me out then you walk in then she’s all “Hi Loony :D” -Verosika

PARENT FIGURES!! YAY :D -Electra

Sounds familiar-Papi stfu Queen is a better parent.-Popee That's the name i suggested@!!!

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zumpietoo · 2 years

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Moar From Racist....

Ummm....she wanted her friend found and was concerned about her? So Tabs simply seeking results (while Jug’s there making it clear he’s only into HER) means she was mammy matchmaking? Wooooww, who knew? Plus, dude, Tabs was also involved in the investigation AND it played into finding ded Paulie....who knew seeking Jug’s help on something she and Slizzy were already involved with = “pushed together”?

Ummm....that was AA, Tabs wasn’t there, Jug admitted it was his survival fantasy from years earlier, she didn’t remotely save him (and makes no fucking difference) and their “relationship was a strong one”, like a decade ago....Tabi would also be aware that Jug was devastated by the betrayal, miserable and that Slizzy was now a violent, sociopathic cuntwipe who DGAF if he was hurt or ded.

The VM from again, years ago, while clearly wasted and upset at somebody choosing, yet again, to be a horrible person? Followed by a VM to herself (after hitting on her) saying he’s starting to move forward and wants to be with her?

Umm...like, girl, do you realice he actively pursued and chosen Tabitha? If anything, seemingly the “lack of reciprocation” in that moment could’ve been construed on Tabi’s side, NOT Jug’s as he announced she was his and they were gonna be together.

Ummm.....she was in season five a woman who was always attracted to Jughead (and he to her), who helped him heal, find himself again and helped others? And while what you do or don’t like is irrelevant, now her being helpful is a bad thing? TBF, I didn’t like her helping Slizzy, cuz Slizzy is a dumb cunt (with an abysmal methodology for getting anything accomplished), but that’s different.

Dude, they knew exactly “what to do with her”, because she was cast entirely to be Jug’s GF, while offering the show moar representation....and they had her interact with other characters precisely so peeps would STFU with the “caretaker” bullshit...but, as we see, no matter what they have Tabs do, your racist ass is hellbent on hating her, because she interrupts your fic of Jug resuming Slizzy’s doormat duties.

Ummm....really, Jinkle? And no, it didn’t....also, Jabi are adorable, yet again....so LBR, you simply dislike them for see above.

The rest is utter bullshit and noooo....dude, Cole dumped PP’s loony ass. He will no longer have romantic arcs with her. The end.

SUCK IT

Also, LBR.....this literally translates to:

I live in the past, can’t handle that things have evolved past my fanfic world and am a racist.

Oh and there is no “break up scene upcoming”

Cuz this is me, speaking in fake bad English to try and hide it...

Ummm....Tabs IS Jug’s first choice, I love how y’all ignore that’s canon. And pine for Slizzy to now be his second choice. Plus, currently? Jug’s supposedly slated to die.

Oh good lord, how utterly disgusting you are....what you “hope” is the gross fic your racist ass wrote.....which, noooo....

A) again, currently Jug’s slated to die. If he wanted Slizzy, he’d pick her. He continues to not do so

B) It’s abundantly clear nothing fucking happens

C) So now Douchie is gonna gossip to Jug’s current GF about HIS current GF’s high school dating life? And somehow this will so horrify Tabi, she’ll run away? Even tho it’s shit she already knew about?

You could be less of a racist. But I know you won’t. Because Jug deserves way better than Slizzy and has that....and, again, if he’s so “barely in this”, why did he choose Tabitha? Repeatedly?

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duchessanon · 3 years

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Hi BB! The thing about Meghan is: if you criticize, even if it's constructive you get shit from her stans. And if you dare to say something nice you get a shit storm from her haters. And make no mistake, even if you don't tag her they will come. So neutral or people who genuinely don't care just avoid writing about her. Even Bad Royal Memes left because of her stans and haters.

Bad royal memes left?!?! Why god why!

But yeah I agree, u can’t talk into the void when it comes to meg. Every step u take, every move u make, they’ll be watching u.

God u probably can’t be a fan of any other female royal bc the loony tunes will come in and say something like “true royal respectful hardworking princess, not like others I won’t mention”. Like stfu!

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mego42 · 4 years

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2x02 discussion questions

accidentally skipped last week’s so I promised myself I was gonna be extra insightful this week but then this happened instead so my b, please forgive me @pynkhues

1. What was your favourite scene of the episode? Tell us why!

anyone that say anything other than the weirdo stop sign face touching creeper end bit is a liar unless they pick that I’m that bitch speech, that’s an acceptable alternative

2. Was there any scene that missed the mark for you? And if so, how?

all of the boomer ones with the exception of the “what is this the craft” one. for as terrible as boomer is, the show usually deploys him in a way that either makes me laugh or makes me rage but this ep all of his scenes are just kind of pls stop

3. At the start of this episode, the girls discuss Rio’s assignment and they talk about it as a gang initiation - blood in, blood out. Do you think this is what Rio actually intended in giving them the job? Or do you think it was still more of a punishment for his arrest?

lmao no I do not think at any point is rio seriously asking the girls to join his gang in the slightest but i can see where his whole handing beth loaded guns and then pissing her off schtick may have lulled people into thinking he’s that dumb

4. Greg tries to corner Annie about their affair in front of his pregnant wife! It’s mortifying, haha, but also raises the question of what do you think Greg’s thoughts were at this point. Why do you think he was still trying to get pregnant with Nancy while entertaining dreams of leaving her for Annie? And what do you think his plan was for the relationships overall?

bold of you to assume greg has thoughts

5. We really see how betrayed Stan feels by Ruby in this episode in their marriage counselling scene, and the effect that has on Ruby. Why do you think Stan feels this so deeply, and do you think that things would’ve been different if she’d told him upfront about everything as it happened?

yes absolutely, I think stan would’ve been mad as hell but the betrayal is 100000% him reckoning with the fact that ruby is able to lie to him specifically

6. Another Annie crime heist comes to fruition in this episode as the girls steal a car to scrap for parts! What do you think of this particular idea? Do you think they should’ve gotten away with it as easily as they did?

annie had so close to a really great idea it physically hurts. steal from the rich but not their teslas like why would you steal a giant rfid chip come on

7. Nancy gets a lot of great scenes in this episode, and in particular it seems to mark an overall turning point in her relationship with Annie twice over – the first when it becomes clear that she wants a relationship with Annie, and secondly the betrayal of realising Annie’s been sleeping with Greg. Why do you think Nancy sought out a friendship with Annie? And what do you think of Annie’s varying responses to the other woman?

nancy wants a a friend so bad it’s the saddest thing and annie is cursed with oops I already fucked up before I realized it was a fuck up syndrome. it’s a whole mess.

8. “I don’t think I’ve ever looked at Dean the way you looked at Stan.” Discuss!

real talk I get v confused why people think the writers aren’t 100% writing the boland marriage to be a slow motion train wreck.

9. “I’m that bitch” Discuss!

The fact that retta hasn’t been at least nominated for an emmy is an absolute disgrace.

10. We’ve seen Beth try to bullshit Rio a lot across the three seasons of the show, but arguably the scene at the pool is one of her most brazen lies. Do you think Rio believed Beth at any point in her story? What do you think was running through both their heads in the moment of it?

Beth: nailed it

Rio: why does this turn me on when did my life come to this where did I go wrong

11. Why do you think Beth aggressively stole / tore down the stop sign?

bc no one would stfu and let her FIGURE THINGS OUT one of her top 5 most relatable moments tbh

12. That final scene with Beth and Rio is another massive turning point in the season overall, and likely one of their most emotionally honest. What are your thoughts on it overall? And what do you make of it in the context of the broader series?

you know i hadn’t considered the significance of annie and dean talking over her all ep in the context of this scene until you pointed it out but i think it’s v significant that after all of that, rio is the one there bearing witness to beth putting the sign up. she’s exerting the limited control she has over her life/circumstances to the fullest extent she can (with full loony tunes flair, I love her so much) and he both sees it for what it is and rewards her for it with an offer to help her level up. it’s emblematic of the best parts of their relationship: he sees her and who/what she could be if she had the space to be it and tries to give her the opportunity (too bad that’s all counterbalanced by the merrily burning dumpster fire that’s the rest of their dynamic)

13. On a scale of one to ten, how mad are you that we never got the scene where Rio taught Beth how to use a gun?

it’s officially on the list of things i’m gonna die mad about. entry 231, i’m looking at it rn

#gg rewatch #gg 2x02

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silver-wield · 4 years

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The problem with the toxic Cleriths is that their vocal minority status tends to drown out the sane ones that just wanna ship in peace. I know us Clotis have our bad eggs as well, but they're so few and far between that the gap is ridiculous. FFVII's love story has always been relatively subtle, but that doesn't mean it was never there. They need to stop twisting things. But that's too much to hope for. I've been there to witness their shit when the OG was still quite new. They haven't changed.

Yup, every fandom has its black sheep lol

I gotta agree the percentage of theirs is higher on the crazy side than ours is. I'd struggle to put clotis at 20% from the massive lack of loony I've seen on my rabbit hole runs. If anything, clotis are too placid and forgiving and only get pissed when the usual suspects start calling Tifa a slut. I think that's a pretty generous limit considering the sheer amount of bullshit they throw at us.

No one's telling them they have to like Tifa, but there's also zero reason for them to scream how much they hate her all the time. If you don't like someone just stfu and move on with your life. Why dedicate yourself to going on and on about them in this never ending spiral of petty bitterness and hate? Tifa's always gonna be the same. She's not gonna change cause they call her names. She's not affected by them. The only ones affected are them.

Kinda pathetic from where I'm sitting.

#Ship war

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cecesenpai · 5 years

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NCT Dream as Your Brothers.

Mark

• Older Brother

• MAD ANNOYING

• Throws parties when your parents are away.

• Always up in your business

• Thinks he's hilarious and tries to make your friends laugh whenever they're over.

• L O U D

• Constantly roasting each other

"Mark, do I look cute in this?"

"I don't have an opinion on what ugly people wear"

"You literally look like chicken little"

"Stfu, you gnome"

• But, and he'll never let you know, he scares anyone that's interested in you away because he doesn't think anyone is good enough for you.

"Yo, is your sister seeing anyone?"

"Oh no, bro. But I heard you were."

"What??"

"Yeah man, I heard you were seeing an early grave if you don't step off my little sister."

Renjun

• Older Brother (but you're like one inch taller than he is)

• Head locks for days

• Literally wakes you up 2 a.m. because he thinks there's a ghost in the house

"Get the fuck up. We're cleansing the house."

"Renjun, go back to bed. If this is like the water bottle thing, I'm going to tell Mom and Dad to send you to a loony bin"

"I SAW WHAT I SAW, HURRY AND GET THE SAGE"

• Will talk your ear off about conspiracy theories

• people constantly mistake you as the older one

• Is publicly overprotective

"Hey, your older sister is kinda a bitch"

"First of all, SHE'S THE YOUNGEST. Second, you have a 5 second head start, before my 5'7 ass, beats the shit out of you."

Jeno

• Older Brother

• Popular at school but at home he's such a werido

• All your friends have had a crush on him at some point.

• Always asks if you want to get/make him food

"Do you wanna get food?"

"No, I'm good"

".... Please get food with me? Please, my tummy is making the rumblies"

• Tell bad jokes that make you cringe

• Always there to give you good advice.

"Hey, don't stress too much over the little things. You got me right here for you and I'll help you out with whatever you need."

Haechan

• Little Brother

• HE'S THE BIGGEST BRAT

• Goes in your room without knocking

• Eats up the favoritism of being the youngest

• Rats you out for ANYTHING

"Did you just kiss that boy who walked you home?"

"Don't you dare tel--"

"MOM, SIS HAS A BOYFRIEND"

• Even though he's a brat, he still wants your love and attention

• Will spread rumors about people you don't like.

"Oh wait till my finsta spills the tea on this bitch"

Jaemin

• Twins (technically you're older by like a minute)

• Used to confused people about who was who when you were younger

• big video game nerd

"Again. PLAY ME AGAIN"

"Jaemin, last time we played Mario party 7, we didn't talk for 2 whole weeks."

"IT'S NOT MY FAULT YOU'RE A SNAKE THAT STEALS WINDMILLS AT THE LAST SECOND"

• Y'all have that weird twin communication where you don't have to say anything to understand each other.

• Low key flirts with your friends

• Gossips till 3am

"And then I said wow you a real shady bitch, oops can't relate, HA."

Chenle

• Little Brother

• he's a child prodigy and super competitive about it

• Likes to sit in when you have friends over

"Chenle, can you go somewhere else?"

"This is the LIVING room, if I go anywhere else I'm going to die. How are you going to explain that to Mom and Dad, HMM"

• Low key is funny af

• So LOUD

• Always quick to defend you

"Mom, please stop yelling at Sis. She's trying really hard and you should see that"

Jisung

• Little Brother

• Very shy and sensitive

• Hids behind you when he's anxious

• You're extremely protective of him

"Who made fun of you for not talking? Tell me their name and address, I'm going fight this kid"

"Sis, stop. It's fine, I don't-"

"It's not fine for someone to make you feel bad about being yourself, Jisung. Lemme tech them some manners"

• Low key savage

• Clumsy bean

"Jisung, did you break another plate?"

"Please don't tell Mom. This is the second one this week. My hands are too big"

"Shouldn't that ensure a better grip though? Or did you slip up again?"

"No..."

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thanksforthedinosaur · 4 years

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may 2020

[ambient/electronic] 1. peter bark - ascension 2. akisai - ecossaise 3. savoir adore - dancing temples 4. rhucle - rev 5. meitei - nami 6. alonefold - strange rainbows 7. daniel avery - illusion of time 8. jim perkins - held (holographic field re-work) 9. green-house - peperomia seedling 10. four tet - green 11. the leaf library - about minerals 12. morimoto naoki - aru 13. hollie kenniff - under the loquat tree 14. zoe polanski - the last frontier 15. ulla - i think my tears have become good 16. lucy gooch - my lights kiss your thoughts every moment 17. ocoeur - glow 18. talsounds - no rise 19. benoît pioulard - toward a boundless uncertainty, sunlit but shivering 20. dj python - te conocí 21. eluvium - virga i (ii) 22. arbee - 2sum (charlie dreaming remix) 23. warmth - the creek - mixed 24. 36 - stasis sounds for long-distance space travel (stage 2) 25. aether - seoul [piano] 26. brian eno - celeste 27. itoko toma - shade 28. haruka nakamura - one light 29. robert haigh - black sarabande [lo-fi hip hop/chillhop] 30. cocabona - image 31. ridhorules - here to stay 32. ngyn - aerith 33. snail's house - thinkin' of u. 34. city girl - ji-eun's favorite 35. chromonicci - midnight 36. eevee - romance 37. goosetaf - dancing trees 38. yutaka hirasaka - what if 39. tatsuya maruyama - love you (lo-fi remix) 40. kuranes - cozy again 41. slick walk - the devil's lick 42. pabzzz - skippin rocks [hip-hop] 43. dumbfoundead - inside 44. vel the wonder - roses 45. kari faux - look at that 46. bosco - attention 47. jean deaux - moody! 48. kiana ledé - movin. 49. juice wrld - righteous [r&b/jazzish] 50. nakala - she interlude ii 51. alina baraz - endlessly 52. loony - white lie 53. savannah cristina - comfortable 54. umi - mother 55. fleur east - easy to love 56. be steadwell - succulent 57. keiyaa - do yourself a favor 58. cleo sol - when i'm in your arms 59. masego - veg out (wasting thyme) 60. adrian younge - synchronize vibration 61. king most - jazzy as fug 62. thelonious coltrane - perfect timing 63. thundercat - unrequited love [ambient hip-hop/electrohop] 64. 4s4ki - nexus 65. yaeji - my imagination 상상 66. (g)i-dle - luv u 67. sullii - moonlight 68. bladee - dna rain 69. charli xcx - forever 70. doja cat - say so (snakehips remix) [electropop] 71. clams casino - i'm god 72. madge - ethanol 73. aether - normalcy 74. kelly lee owens - night 75. ohey - over & over 76. washed out - too late 77. jody wisternoff - blue space 78. purity ring - silkspun 79. keep shelly in athens - 23 garefi str. 80. the avener - conscious shadows 81. kllo - still here [indie pop] 82. empress of - void 83. ambar lucid - questioning my mind 84. kalbells - mothertime 85. malena zavala - ritmo de vida 86. bendik - himmelen [indie rock/emo] 87. mundy's bay - sleep away the summer 88. no tongues for quiet people - lake house lake house 89. orchards - stealing your sleep 90. covet - nero 91. the used - the lighthouse 92. hayley williams - roses/lotus/violet/iris [popish] 93. the aces - daydream 94. oklou - sgsy [shoegaze/dream pop] 95. strfkr - second hand 96. momma - biohazard 97. varsity - runaway 98. blushh - deal with it 99. mint field - natural 100. nova one - violet dreams 101. candace - still phase 102. winter - endless space (between you & i) 103. snarls - walk in the woods 104. ellis - saturn return 105. white poppy - orchid child [pop rock/indie rock] 106. tops - colder & closer 107. bacchae - hammer 108. diet cig - who are you 109. kailee morgue - this is why i'm hot 110. bryde - paper cups 111. hazel english - wake up! 112. porridge radio - give/take 113. long neck - cicada 114. crisman - portrait 115. anna burch - every feeling 116. honey cutt - hung up on me 117. phoebe bridgers - kyoto 118. trace mountains - fallin' rain 119. purr - gates of cool 120. ghostly kisses - barcelona boy 121. addy - strawberries 122. options - wandering 123. little kingdoms - breakfast at noon [indie/folk] 124. faye webster - in a good way 125. laura marling - held down 126. marla hansen - path 127. squirrel flower - red shoulder 128. hey cowboy! - detective farmer brown 129. katie heckel - help you mend 130. lilly hiatt - move 131. erin lunsford - don't leave me in the dark 132. katie pruitt - my mind’s a ship (that’s going down) [indieish] 133. lisa loeb, michelle branch - doesn't it feel good 134. mandy moore - easy target 135. vanessa carlton - i can't stay the same 136. fiona apple - heavy balloon [acoustic] 137. tim kinsella - pine cone 138. ichiko aoba - kiseki wa itsudemo (gift" live ver.") 139. stella jang - reality blue [j-indie/j-rock/etc] 140. okada takuro - lost 141. mitsume - 睡魔 142. clammbon - fluttering 143. akaiko-en - junky 144. scenarioart - it's all right 145. österreich - film 146. nano.ripe - ラストチャプター 147. the peggies - weekend 148. polkadot stingray - jet 149. tk from ling tosite sigure - reframe 150. room97 - faq [kawaii future bass/etc] 151. nyarons - we are human beings 152. couple n - farewell 153. kizuna ai - again 154. pikasonic - sapphire 155. kijibato - 月宴(音街ウナ) 156. jam2go - apotrope 157. skule toyama - united in the night 158. adrianwave - goodbye 159. serph - banana bread pudding [rina gets her own category] 160. rina sawayama - stfu!

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0eYsXid4rsiWOKxkjsS3XZ?si=Li4nIbirQ0GWUgXS9xlb6g

#posting this early b/c it already has so many songs #mae makes playlists #aka always so quick to cry

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thebibliomancer · 7 years

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Essential Avengers: Giant-Size Avengers #3: Kang War II Conclusion: ... What Time Hath Put Asunder!

February, 1975

That is a pretty decent title. I mean, its no “‘This Hostage Earth!': In Which the Mighty Avengers Battle to Save Their Beloved Planet From a Fate So Deadly That None But the Macabre Mole Man Could Have Devised It!: A Marvel Tale of Most Compelling Excellence!” but few things are.

Also, apparently this comic will feature Thor literally destroying a year. Or maybe its one of those symbolical things.

Also also, wait! One of Thor, Iron Man, or Vision will die in this issue? BUT IRON MAN IS ALREADY DEAD AND VISION IS DYING. That kind of strips away some of the suspense.

But a quick recap: Last time:: Kang kidnapped Celestial Madonna Mantis and some other people, Swordsman died, Kang ended up in Limbo and put some people in imprisonment tubes and summoned a Legion of the Unliving, kidnapped some people again, Iron Man died, Vision had a ghost explode inside him.

This time: Vision is dying. Mantis may not be a robotocist but her Mantis senses tell her so.

Vision is handling death pretty well. He’s not sure if he, as a robot, can actually die but if he can, he might finally feel truly human. Like bicentennial man, kinda. But he calmly tells Mantis what happened to him before confusing her for Wanda.

Apparently his android mind made him relate the details of what happened to him as a warning to others. But with that done, he became more human. Calling out for the woman he loves as he dies.

To ease his mind, Mantis claims to be Wanda. But then ninja stars.

Midnight found Mantis again. He’s here for a rematch. Also, he got his hat back.

Also also, he busts out some nunchaku. Because Kang’s hold on Midnight is fading and with it, the proscription against harming Mantis.

... Okay but Mantis just reaches into the spinning nunchaku and grabs one end and then I guess flings Midnight across the corridor?

Not going to lie though. It looks like that Daffy Duck Robin Hood quarterstaff thing? You know the thing?

It looks like that happens.

And now I’m imagining Mantis and Midnight having Loony Toons-esque interactions and its pretty great.

Midnight (looking kind of like an earless Black Panther in some of these panels) recovers quickly and FTAP!s Mantis for rubbing her alive status in his dead face but the dude is just outmatched.

She kicks his ass so hard that he doesn’t even get up from it and that’s the whole thing with these dead guys. It probably helps that she choked him?

Anyway, in the two and a half pages of this confrontation, Vision has somehow gone missing.

Apparently, Frankenstein happened across Vision, scooped him up and carried him off. Perhaps recognizing a sort of kinship with the artificial human. But he’s still just wandering aimlessly, except now carrying a robot.

Hawkeye happens to spot this and laments another dead Avenger. He considers attacking Frankenstein but realizes that even if he won, it wouldn’t bring Vision back. There are alive Avengers that need to be assembled. So reluctantly, he continues through the labyrinth.

Meanwhile, Kang. And the dead are getting complain-y. Wonder Man comments that wandering the labyrinth aimlessly hoping to come across Avengers seems useless and Zemo chimes in wondering if Kang reanimated the Legion simply to lead them around in circles.

Like I said. It was a dumb, dumb, dumb plan.

Kang decides that a good strategic move would be to split up and cover more ground, gang. Or maybe he just wants to reduce the number of complainers near him. He sends Wonder Man and the robot Human Torch off to find the Vision.

Zemo tries to offer a proposition to Kang but Kang goes here’s an idea: “Obey me -- or die anew!”

Meanwhile... can you really use that term in Limbo? And haven’t I asked that before? Elsewhere, Thor. Between issues he’s lost track of Frankenstein.

Which I’m going to judge him super hard for. The monster’s natural pace is a shamble. How do you get outpaced by that?

But then Thor comes across Iron Man’s dead, deceased corpse. No breath, no heartbeat. It doesn’t take a Doctor Donald Blake to realize an Avenger has died.

Thor honors Iron Man with a moment of silence and then snarls that it was Kang that did this and Iron Man SHALT BE AVENGED!

It adds to this moment if you remember that Iron Man and Thor are basically the Avenger bffs, having become closer by discovering each others’ secret identities.

Back on Earth, the Celestial Madonna heralding star over Avengers Mansion is causing some consternation among a gathering crowd.

Geez. How long has that star been lit. Its been at least a few days since it lit up. We know that the Avengers waited for Mantis to make any burial arrangements for Swordsman. And that thing is REALLY bright.

Anyway, the police tell the crowd to disperse and then head to the door to give Jarvis a message fort he Avengers.

Libra has escaped!

You remember Libra? Part of Zodiac. Wore short shorts. Betrayed Zodiac to save the Avengers because he’s Mantis’ dad. Went willingly to jail?

Well. He broke out. Just disappeared out of his cell. And the police commissioner wants the Avengers on this because Libra might help the rest of Zodiac break out of jail.

Jarvis goes to inform Wanda but when he knocks on her door a voice both inhuman and unmistakably Wanda’s answers:

Wanda?: “Get away from this door, Jarvis! As you value your wretched life -- get far away!!”

Jarvis is spooked, of course. But more on that later. Not in this post. I meant... later later.

Back in the Labyrinth of Limbo, Wonder Man and (robot) Human Torch. And Wonder Man is a robo-racist. Ranting and complaining about having to treck all over Limbo-land looking for “a thing that isn’t even a man!”

Robot Human Torch is pretty irritated by this. Not that Wonder Man realizes why. He’s a big fan of the Human Torch. Read his comics when he was a kid. And apparently the in-universe Golden Age Human Torch comics did not reveal that he was a robot.

And then the two run into Frankenstein with his Vision cargo. Wonder Man is pretty hype that Vision went and got himself dead without him having to do anything. Although Human Torch feels a loss at seeing the Vision laid low.

Wonder Man tells Frankenstein to lay Vision on a slab and back away. See, he doesn’t like to get too close to things that aren’t even human.

Robo-racist and prejudiced against people made out of reanimated corpses? You’re not making a good showing of yourself, Wonder Man.

One has to wonder (heh) whether Englehart would have gone with this characterization if he knew he was going to bring back Wonder Man in a bit over a year. Although I don’t know that he didn’t already have the idea at this point so whatever.

Wonder Man realizes that Vision is still... breathing? Vision, do you breath? Do you breath just to be like the cool kids? Do you breath just to be like the cool kids even when you’ve been rendered unconscious by an exploding ghost? Dang, that’s commitment.

Anyway, Wonder Man goes to finish off Vision but Frankenstein stops him and rasps out “You -- will not -- hurt him --!”

Wonder Man backs off but wonders (okay that time was an accident) what got into Frankenstein. Human Torch muses that perhaps being a unique form of half-life, Frankenstein is consumed with curiosity over someone who is hovering between life and death.

But Wonder Man isn’t interested in philosophy so runs off to tattle to Kang.

Human Torch asks Frankenstein and then takes a closer look at Vision. And he discovers something beyond belief, which shocks him despite suspecting it all along! This is incredible and amazing and you’re going to have to wait to find out what he is reacting to!

Mweeheehee.

Because we have to check back in on Kang and Zemo, everyone’s least favorite double act.

Apparently Zemo has been complaining the whole time he was off-panel about how he just wishes he could get his hands on Captain America. And Kang has finally had enough and tells Zemo to stfu and gtfo. In fact, go guard Immortus’ throne room and make sure Immortus and Rama-Tut are safely locked up.

And don’t even think about double-crossing Kang or boy howdy, you’ll suffer at the hands of someone who has perfected torment over seventy centuries!

Kang is now regretting this stupid tactic. Maybe he should have summoned his stimuloid instead. Although a true conqueror can work with any tools at hand.

And then Thor shows up.

Right after Kang has dispatched all his minions in various directions with no way to contact them.

Womp womp.

Thor tries to womp womp Kang with Mjolnir but Kang has his portable force-field active. But here is the thing that Thor has realized about that.

Kang’s force-field isn’t anchored. So he’ll just hit Kang’s force-field hard enough that it will send the conqueror flying.

And he bats Kang around for a while, Kang insisting that this cannot be! It can’t go how Rama-Tut predicted! He’s totally going to marry the Celestial Madonna and rule the Earth through her son.

Also, I don’t know why he’s surprised that his worthless minions managed to kill someone. He saw them kill Iron Man. He was right there, micromanaging the process.

Luckily for Kang, Wonder Man shows up and engages Thor in fisticuffs.

And they punch each other a bunch and Thor breaks a boulder off on Wonder Man’s head and the narration clarifies that PHOOM is different from FOOM.

And Wonder Man refuses to step aside and let Thor at Kang. Because Wonder Man likes being alive again and without Kang to operate the controls of Immortus’ gadgets... well...

Kang tells him to stop bantering and block the path.

Which Wonder Man does, ripping down a support so that the stones of the roof fall to block the way between Thor and Kang.

Doesn’t seem to slow him down for long though. Thor smashing the way through with Mjolnir or possibly Mjollner, as a narration box says it can also be spelled.

Elsewhere, Hawkeye wins the maze.

He found his way through the Labyrinth to Immortus’ throne room without being murdered or anything. If there was a prize, he would have just won it.

But there’s not. Not unless you count a face full of glue.

Which I don’t.

Because when Hawkeye comes into the throne room, Rama-Tut tells him to hit the button on the arm of the throne, which will free them of the imprisonment tubes. Lacking anything better to do, Hawkeye decides to do it, despite not really trusting Rama-Tut and not recognizing Immortus at all.

Zemo arrives and interrupts and they have a brief contest of ‘who can shoot faster, a guy with arrows or a guy shooting lasers from his glove.’

Answer: Hawkeye. He can shoot his bow ludicrously fast. Hell, he can string it ludicrously fast.

He blasts the ground out from under Zemo’s feet and then smashes his glove zappy doohickey and goes to hit the throne button.

And then with his back turned, Zemo pulls out an Adhesive X (yay!) gun and spurts glue all over Hawkeye with a PHOOP!

Zemo rants that he’s going to leave Hawkeye glued to the floor until he’s a rotted corpse so that he’ll know the torment that Zemo has felt having a mask glued to his face for two decades. Hawkeye asks for a mercy killing so he doesn’t have to listen to Zemo anymore.

Nobody wants to listen to Zemo talk. Its probably because he’s self-centered, always makes the conversation about him, and is also a Nazi.

But someone was listening to Zemo ranting about his mask problems. Immortus offers to send Zemo back in time before his mask was glued to his skin so he can change his past.

And while Zemo is distracted, Hawkeye grabs his bow with his feet and pulls back an arrow with his teeth! GOD DAMN!

He lines up an amazing bank shot and manages to hit the throne button, freeing Immortus and Rama-Tut.

Zemo protests that Immortus swore he’d make him whole again so Immortus turns Zemo into a shapeless, lifeless whole blob of protoplasm.

Should have gotten the agreement in print.

Meanwhile, we finally get back to our unlikely trio of Frankenstein, Human Torch, and dying Vision.

Human Torch reveals to an uncomprehending but attentively listening Frankenstein that Vision’s body is the Human Torch’s. Somehow. Despite being red now.

And he doesn’t want to watch himself die so he asks Frankenstein for permission to try to save Vision.

Elsewhere, Wonder Man is leading Kang to where he saw the dying Vision.

Kang has grown very, very frustrated with this whole endeavor. Which was his idea, remember.

Kang: “You had better be telling the truth, Simon Williams... for, I begin to doubt my wisdom in reviving you six incompetents. Also, I grow weary of this marching to and fro, thru endless tunnels... weary at the lack of scenery... the mindless monotony...!”

Sounds like schemers remorse.

Anyway, Thor shows up. Again. Here to give Kang a reckoning. Again.

Kang tells Wonder Man to hold Thor off so he can run but then Frankenstein and Human Torch arrive from the other direction.

And Human Torch says that as far as ‘Franky’ and him are concerned, this battle is over.

Kang tries yelling Frankenstein into line but one look at the monster’s grim eyes and Kang clams up.

And then Vision pops up from behind Frankenstein. He’s recovered, somewhat. But the exploding ghost damaged him so severely that his arm is hanging on by a thread.

Vision insists that Kang undo the wrong he’s done but there’s no such thing as sunk cost fallacy in Kang’s mind. He orders Wonder Man to smash Vision.

Wonder Man reluctantly obeys, even though he feels the strangest feeling like fighting Vision is fighting himself. Because they share brain patterns.

Not sure how Wonder Man senses that. That’s weird. This whole situation is so weird.

Anyway, Vision’s damage prevents him from going intangible and Wonder Man gets a good couple hits on him before Vision realizes he can still become diamond-hard.

RIP someone’s knuckles, again again.

Vision has the best powerset for trolling people, I swear. He either lets them break their fists on him or lets them fall through them and his finishing move is to jam his fist into someone’s chest. And if he gets bored he can just walk away through a wall.

But I guess Thor guesses that Vision has this handled because instead of helping Vision, he goes after Kang and smashes him against a wall through his force-field.

The march of technology pales next to Thor’s thews.

And Thor is ready to just up and kill a guy, even if in the process he brings the walls of Limbo down on his own head. Guy is in a berserker rage.

According to a caption box, Kang would have died if he hadn’t run, fleeing back into the time stream with some time machine built into his suit, I guess.

Thor is disappointed.

But Human Torch tells him that its more important that they help Vision. Who I guess beat Wonder Man after all.

Vision vouches for Human Torch and Frankenstein, for he would be dead without them.

Leaving Thor to wonder how these two managed to oppose Kang.

Vision speculates that Kang’s power over Frankenstein was incomplete because he is a special form of life. And that his power over Human Torch faded because the Torch was an android, not a human. And also because Human Torch is Vision.

So weird time nonsense, maybe.

And it does explain Vision’s recent claustrophobia and hydrophobia. The Human Torch was encased in cement or kept underwater to keep oxygen from reaching him because he reacted to oxygen by combusting. Constantly.

Also, Vision looks really bad here. Like, he’s got a robot black eye, a robot lump on his forehead, and robot blood trickling out of his mouth. Good job making him look like he had been put through the wringer.

Thor is baffled. He asks how the Human Torch became the Vision.

They got nuthin’.

But then everyone present in that scene is transported to Immortus’ throne room. By Immortus, natch.

Actually everyone still in the Labyrinth.

Including dead Iron Man, Mantis, and Midnight (still knocked the hell out).

Vision is alarmed by dead Iron Man and by Mantis’ seeming indifference to dead Iron Man.

But Immortus just ups and revives Iron Man. See, in Limbo time is weird. So Iron Man hasn’t drawn a breath or had a heartbeat in a while if we were talking about real time. But in Limbo, the space between heartbeats can be an instant or an hour as Immortus wills.

So only a second has passed since Iron Man was felled and Immortus just... gives him temporal magical CPR or repairs his chestplate pacemaker with zappy hand?

Look, Iron Man is alive. Don’t question it.

And Immortus isn’t done yet. He reverts Vision to the state that he was in before entering the Labyrinth, healing all the damage he took and restoring his arm.

He even restores the Ghost from explode to send him back in time. And reluctantly, with Hawkeye’s prodding, restores Zemo from goo and sends him back in time.

Hawkeye would be more comfortable knowing Zemo was in a grave and not slopping around as goo. He also makes the debatable point that not even a leftover unrepentant Nazi like Zemo deserves ‘I have no mouth and yet I must scream.’

Immortus finds Zemo a particularly distressing individual and only agrees with Hawkeye because it amuses him to put Zemo back in the mask he despised.

Rama-Tut decides his work here is done. Not that he did much after Giant-Size Avengers #2. And I’m not sure where he’s going. Is he just going to go back to Egypt? Wouldn’t that create a time paradox? Is he going to retire to Florida?

Anyway, he leaves Mantis the words of an obscure poet, all but forgotten in Kang’s 40th century: “To thine own self be true!”

She just glares at him until he vanishes.

And Immortus sends the rest of the Legion of the Unliving back to the time they were pulled from. All except Human Torch.

See, he decided that he wants to send Human Torch back in time to learn how his fate and the Vision’s became intertwined.

He can sympathize with being two or even three men.

Plot twist: Immortus is a Kang. He’s the version of Kang that’s even older than the old Rama-Tut version.

Geez. Kang is like a terrible male asshole version of the triple goddess. Maiden: Kang, Mother: Rama-Tut, Crone: Immortus.

Or not. Probably not. It just struck me how silly this whole thing was that it was Kang from different spots on his timestream yelling at and punching himself.

It was ‘I was such an asshole when I was a young man and if I could I would punch myself’ taken to ridiculous levels.

But also: this makes Immortus being surprised what a douche Kang was really stupid. Immortus should remember from two different angles the whole sudden but inevitable betrayal. So either he forgot because he’s super old or he decided to play along because he remembers Kang running away with his tail between his legs from an angry Thor.

Iron Man finds this whole thing way too confusing and Immortus basically says ‘good!’

So Thor once again asks the question: “How did the original Human Torch come to be -- the Vision?” with Vision’s answer this time being that we’re about to find out.

So next time back to Marvel Unlimited to continue this increasingly convoluted Celestial Madonna Saga in Avenger #133!

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