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#look him in the eye and tell him he cant nail the Black Parade on kareoke
undead-cypress · 2 years
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Lessons in court etiquette
Quit your job, Herr Forehead, join my emo band
(How TF do I rearrange photos on tumblr now wtffff girl help)
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daisys-gard3n · 2 years
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All because of my dream all I can think about now is Demon!Diavolo stalking me in a haunted house and having his way with me. This is why I'm the bottom bitch.
my dark thoughts brainworms do be thinking rn
You're the foolish human that walked into his territory, but he allowed you to stay for so long because you seem like just the perfect prey after his 100 year slumber. Diavolo was always fascinated by humans who wanted to stick their nose in the occult, wandering into the land of the demons and other-wordly. It's like you want to walk into his web and be his little plaything.
Do you think you're special because you're coming to investigate? You of all people should know that hundreds of people disappeared here. But he admires your adventurous personality, a curiosity that killed the cat. Maybe he should play around with you for a bit.
Diavolo wasn't a fan of doing silly poltergeist activities, knocking things over just to give you a little spook. But a little bit of tampering never hurt, just a little flick and letting your flashlight go out so he could finally reveal himself to you. With the moonlight pouring into the window being the only source of light for you as you backed away in fear at the large muscular figure in front of you, seeing the large wings spreading from behind his back and the curved horns forming out of his forehead. Slit envy-green eyes peering down at you like a snake to a tiny mouse.
"It seems the little mouse is sticking their nose in someone else's affairs...Tell me." His hand reached out to you, his long black fingernails pointing into your chin. "Were you wanting to see something dangerous tonight? Since you oh so graciously presented prey to a predator?"
You run away, as expected, but Diavolo loves a chase. It's his territory and he'll get excitement pumping through his veins. You're such a pretty little thing, crying and hyperventilating while you run through each door of the haunted house and trying to run out of his grasp. You were far too naive, especially when he can hear that little heart pounding against your ribs while you try to silence your shortened breath as you hid away in an old dresser. Diavolo almost didn't want to rain on your parade since you went through all of this effort of trying to knock things over to block his path, but god was that frightened face leaking with tears so adorable. It turned him on so much to see you shaking like a little rabbit, a perfect little toy for the night after his long slumber.
Diavolo will shush you and tenderly stroke your face, all with a condescending smile with his sharp teeth as he coos at you to just let it happen. You were just a weak little thing, you cant fight a demon. Just let his lips and teeth mark up your neck, leaving bite marks and hickies on your skin as his sharp nails tore through your clothes. If you were struggling too much for his liking, Diavolo can simply hex you into a dazed state - you'll enjoy it much more when you're under the influence of aphrodisiacs in the air. A strong hand wrapped around your throat to where it could bruise as his fork tongue violates all of your privates, swirling around sensitive areas and slipping inside to make your toes curl and cry out as you grow more aroused for him. It's about time you came around to him, just let Diavolo breed you and all will be fine.
That cute and confused look on your hexed face is so tantalizing, especially when Diavolo pushes in his cock into you. Ruthless as the barbs of his shaft clung to your walls and brutally pumped in and out of you while the pink-haired demon searched for his orgasm. Grinning down at you and laughing as you could only babble and drool at the intense feeling of his demon cock, finding yourself cumming so easily for him multiple times as you cry out of overstimulation.
"Just feel me in you, little mouse...Give your whole body and soul to me! Feel me ruin you!"
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Ships and Shells (Pt.3)
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Virgil woke up a short while later, cold, confused, and certainly not in any sort of holding cell.
No, instead, he was floating, underwater. But he was breathing, and it felt safe and natural for him to be there.
Virgil opened his mouth, he felt water rush through his lungs, and yet still, he could breathe.
"Ok- so this is definitely a dream-" Virgil said aloud, reaching his hand out to gather a group of jellyfish around him.
"I see the prince of the seas has already adjusted to his home environment," Virgil froze as he heard a voice from behind him. A woman swam out from a darkened part of the water. She had charcoal-like black hair, her skin was that of gold or copper, with a sort of spotted blue, navy, and dark grey quality around her hairline and her arms. But what Virgil recognized most quickly, were the striking light purple eyes, almost the exact same as his own.
"Who are you-" Virgil swam backwards a bit, trying to put some distance between the two of them.
"Oh of course you dont recognize me, I should have expected this, after all, you look so much more like your father," the woman gave a sad look at her tail, blue and silver scales shimmering, though no light was hitting them.
"How do you know my father." Virgil said, though he had a feeling he already knew the answer.
"Why, how could I not? A striking young man visits me by sneaking out to sea every night, proposes, begs me to allow him passage into the kingdom of the sea, and, the very night that I wish to bring him, is stolen from me by a princess with nothing better to do than ruin the lives of the merfolk she so fears and despises," said the woman.
Virgil stared at her for a moment, processing the words.
"Of course, you dont get your passion for rebellion from nowhere my dear, a man who so loves a woman that he'd give up all he has for her cannot be stopped by such trivial things as arranged marriage, and thus, we hatched a plan," the woman continued, barely acknowledging Virgil's look of concentration as he tried to piece together the rest of the puzzle.
"We would produce a scandal, the child of a mermaid queen and a human king is hardly easy to hush up after all, or so I thought," she continued, Virgil seemed to come to several conclusions at that moment.
"But oh did she try, and she tried very hard, didnt she, banning him from seeing me, whisking you away as soon as you were born, and I've watched you ever since then, I've seen what vile things they've done, seen how they dare disrespect your homeland, parading you around as the prince of seas you'd never once touched, as far as they knew," Virgil was quiet for a long while after that.
"So you're my-"
"Mother, yes, Queen Valshara, of the seven seas," said the queen, bowing her head.
"But why are you only telling me this now? And why cant you get me off this stupid ship?" Virgil said, now feeling mildly skeptical.
"Oh Virgil do pay attention please, I know you're smarter than this," the queen said with a roll of her eyes.
"Let me guess, false-mother dearest?" Virgil replied.
"See, you're learning awfully quickly," Valshara smiled.
"And the ship? Did your plan involve getting kidnapped by pirates?" Virgil said, raising an eyebrow.
"Well how else are you supposed to inherit your birth right? You need transportation dont you?" Valshara said, checking her nails.
"Well note to the next monarch who tries this, hire pirates who arent obscenely annoying and dont lock you in cells for weeks at a time," Virgil responded.
And then he felt ill again, not in the painful way he had before he woke up here, but ill nonetheless.
"Wake up! Come on you beautiful idiot wake up," someone was shaking him, rather frantically it seemed, and they sounded terrified. Virgil let out a groan and blinked a few times, earning a sigh of relief from whoever it was.
"Wh-wha?-" Virgil blinked a few more times, sitting up slightly and groaning.
"Ahbapapapap- no you dont, you're staying right where you are until you feel better," and then he recognized the voice, Remus' voice.
"Why do you care?" Virgil muttered.
"Because, in case your muttering is anything to go off of, if I dont bring you back alive and unharmed I'll have a very angry merfolk queen on my hands, and frankly I dont want to deal with that," Remus responded, Virgil couldve sworn he detected a hint of guilt in his voice.
"I dont see the point in bringing me back anyway, I'm absolute garbage at royal stuff," Virgil muttered, Remus shot him an incredulous look.
"Oh dont give me that, what do you know about my ability to rule over things, youd never even met me before you kidnapped me," Virgil responded.
"Well I've certainly heard about you, and besides, I dont think ruling is a skill so much as an art form, you find the one that fits you and your subjects best, and then you practice it until its perfected," Remus said.
"I appreciate the sentiment but I dont think I can take government advice from a pirate," Virgil said, rolling over slightly to look Remus in the eyes properly.
"Well, why not an equal then?" Remus replied. Virgil looked at him a few seconds more, and then gave a shrug of indifference.
"So how far out are you going anyways?" Virgil asked, he figured now that he knew where they were going, Remus couldnt hide it from him anymore.
"Miles, but we have to stop at every town we come across just to stock up, it's not an easy journey, returning a merman to the sea," Remus said, flashing another grin, those silver fangs of his glinting in the lantern light.
"I'm not a merman," Virgil responded.
"You're part merfolk, and you're a man, ergo, merman," Remus said, Virgil felt a twinge of happiness in his chest.
"Yeah, sure, whatever," Virgil rolled his eyes.
"You keep up with the sass and I'm gonna have to put you back in the cell," Remus said with a laugh.
"Oh really? But I thought I was supposed to stay here until I was healthy again?" Virgil said, propping his head on his fist and smirking.
"Alright, called my bluff, maybe you arent as stupid as you look," Remus responded, Virgil hit him over the head with a pillow.
A full month on a pirate ship, and, by some odd miracle, or maybe a curse, Virgil seemed to find himself enjoying Remus' company, almost like friendship, but not quite there, not yet at least.
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Tag list:
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fics-not-tragedies · 5 years
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First impressions of the century
It’s a tiny something I wanted to write in ages. A piece from “Dead as dead can be”, which shows you how John meet my OFC, that includes spoilers from the movie “Constantine”. 
SUMMARY: Constantine meets someone unusual at Papa Midnite’s place.
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Readers tag list:
@spookier-than-u; @sparrowsparrow; @magdazwolska; @mikaneonox; @derangedcupcake; @geostarr; @catsmieow; @wickedlangdon; @bodhi-black; @bugalouie; @onebatch--twobatch; @fandom-lover-4; @drunkonyellow; @semtempoirmaoo; @spadesandaces2342; @harrisongslimited; @a--1--1--3; @hhighkey; @lunilate; @i-cant-remember-my-old-login;
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Constantine was surprised when he walked into Papa Midnite’s bar with such ease. The bouncer didn’t flashed him a card with riddle, waiting for him to answer, before he could let him past the entrance. And this time?
This time he just stepped aside and let him inside with all of its simplicity.
As he kept sauntering inside he could feel everyone’s eyes focused on him. Every single person was still doing their thing, but their gazes were focused on him as he was making his way through the crowd and to Papa’s office.
One particular pair of eyes caught his attention the most. Those almost black ones belonged to a woman dressed in red. She was sitting by the bar, sipping something from her glass, the dark gaze glued to John’s figure. Of course she knew who he was, everyone knew him and they knew what happened in the last few days.
She wanted to use and abuse him. To bring into reality every scenario her twisted mind came up with. Her glass filled with the delicate treat, that lingered all over her mouth, leaving few notes of vanilla and jasmine on her tongue, was slowly becoming empty and she was already wanting more.
He was in the middle of the dance floor where some unnamed force told him to stop, he tried to fight it, but there wasn’t much he could do, his feet refused to move a single inch.
The lady dressed in a red floor length gown was still eyeing him. Constantine could finally see her from a closer distance and beauty was mesmerizing, he was unable to take his eyes of her figure, like she somehow managed to put a spell on him from afar, making him dizzy.
Her thick locks in graphite looked like they were made from nothing but pure shadow, falling in cascades onto her back, ending somewhere above her loins. When she made another few steps through the crowd, walking closer to him, he was able to see the grin on her plump lips, the glittery rogue shade their were painted with shimmering in the LED light. Her eyes were dark, just like the whole make-up and there was something primal in the way he stared at him, flicking her tongue almost in slow motion across her lower lip. Everything about her was dark and it looked outstanding compared to the paleness of her skin.
She was holding a neatly carved glass in her hand with a dark red liquid poured inside it. Her eyes were still focused on John when she pressed her lips to its edge, leaving an imprint of her lips on the glass.
John was unable to look away, her gaze lit a fire in him of something he couldn’t name and he felt the need to push right through the crowd, kneel before her and simply do anything she wants him to. The view of her, of her body in a gown with too deeply cut V-neck, her neck and breasts embellished with enormous necklace would haunt him in the night time. There was a slit at the side of her dress that revealed her juicy thigh and showed off her whole leg with a huge floral tattoo in black and white, that was drawn all the way up from the side of her calf and was probably ending way beyond her panty line.
There was something magic about her, he could sense from that distance that it was somehow maleficent force but it still made him breathless. He had no idea about the name he should call her, but she was a mesmerizing being. He could stare at her for the whole eternity.
Was it wrong if the thought of him crawling on his knees was still stuck in her head? To her: not at all. Perhaps it could scare him, but with the flick of her finger she could made him absolutely weak.
Suddenly he lost her from his view, his feet able to move again and he stumbled throughout the crowd in a rush, pushing his way through all of the dancers that were swaying their bodies into the rhythm of currently playing song.
He reached the steel doors that lead to Midnite’s sanctuary and before he could raise his hand trying to knock on them they slowly opened, revealing the room. It was covered in thick layer of cigar smoke, that tempted him to have one too and John kept waving his hand in front of his face like he was trying to forbid the tobacco scent from reaching his nostrils.
John wandered further inside his office looking over his shoulder few times, trying to see if that woman perhaps decided to follow him. Papa Midnite was waiting for him, his arms outstretched in a welcoming gesture and he walked over to John when the doors closed behind him.
“You found your time to arrive here after all…” Midnite squeezed his arm too harshly, few of his bones cracking and he felt a sharp pain coming right through it. Then he patted his back with a heavy hand and walked back to the minibar, pouring another glass for John. Papa was dressed quite fancy, for the usual evening at his club. The gray tuxedo with a ivory shirt and black bow tie wasn’t the attire Constantine saw his friend in even in times when there was a big event hosted in his local. He was holding now two glasses with some cinnamon colored liquid, “Fancy an aperitif?”
“Thanks” he mumbled, taking the glass from his hand, slowly sipping the drink. It was Papa’s favorite old-school whisky brand and he only popped new bottle open when there was a truly fancy occasion to do so, “Can you tell me what’s the deal with tonight? The bouncer didn’t wanted me to answer the stupid card riddle and as I was walking to your office everyone was staring at me like they wanted to fuck me.”
Midnight laughed in his usual baritone and leaned onto the backrest of his tall chair, “We’re just happy you restored the balance.”
“The balance, yeah…” he took a sip from his glass, the thick yet spicy taste of liquor spilling all over the insides of his mouth.
“Aren’t you happy with how it all ended? Could have been worse” Papa sat at the edge of his desk, placing his glass close to him.
“Chad’s dead. Angela doesn’t want to talk to me… yeah, could have been worse.”
Midnite just sighed. Before he had the chance to say few words of reassurance the doors opened with a loud thud and someone walked inside.
“Papa!” woman’s voice chirped as she paraded inside his office, the doors closing behind her with even louder thud.
“Oh, Adrienne, what a pleasure to see you!” she smiled and walked over to Papa letting him wrap her in a tight hug. She was standing in front of John’s view, making him sigh loudly. He heard her giggle, corners of her mouth twitching a little and she turned around to face him, her white teeth almost blinding him.
“John Constantine… what a pleasure to meet you” her voice sounded like heavenly music played by legions of angels. Her skin was as white as sheet of paper and her graphite hair made her look like she just escaped from some gothic painting. The fabric of her red dress was hugging her body, emphasizing the marvelous curves she had in the right places. Adrienne just kept smiling, seeing how his eyes were swiping her figure up and down.
John was able to see her whole body up close, the paleness of her skin, her exposed thigh, as well as her tattoo that was now staring at him fully exposed in the deep cut of the material that ran along her leg. Around one of her long, pale fingers she had a thick silver ring with a rounded green gem placed in the middle and the unusual ring caught his eye. Her nails were outrageously long and painted black, she could probably cut someone with them or maybe even slit someone’s throat.
He could have sworn that even though the place had no windows and they all were deep inside a basement he heard the storm thrummed somewhere close and lightnings were slashing the night sky into pieces.
“I hope the meeting will turn into something greater in the near future” she breathed out when their gazes met and he swallowed hard seeing her dark and lustful gaze.
“I doubt it, Constantine it’s not your type, love” Papa said and Adrianne laughed loudly, placing her hand onto his arm.
“Too stubborn?” her voice was smooth like silk, she really sounded like an angel, but there wasn’t any angelic bit in the way she looked.
“Too alive.”
“Oh, I bet we can change it quite easily” she winked at John, “I’ll come again when you’re free Papa, see you around Jonathan” when she was passing him by he could have sworn that her hand brushed against his thigh.
After she disappeared he was finally able to say something.
“It was the woman that was staring at me since I entered your place” John turned around pointing his finger to the now closed door.
“Not staring, hypnotizing. You caught her eye Constantine. She’s dangerous, her blood is filled with poison… and her bite is deadlier than black widow’s bite. Don’t come anywhere near her, unless you want to be doomed.”
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xxxavo · 7 years
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Joker x s/o
— Joker x fem!reader insert ; Abused, beaten and broken. You knew the feelings all to well. He wanted to do so many things to you. He had done, so many things to you. All you wanted, as far back as you could remember; Is freedom. Freedom to eat, drink and sleep where ever and whenever you wanted. The only thing standing in the way or your dream was him and a few of his henchman. Unfortunately, its not like he would just move out of your way, and its not like you could just get up and go.
— Trigger warning ; Cursing, violence, gore, sexual content, sexual abuse, torture, and abuse. Very dark, do not read if your uncomfortable with dark humor or you’re very easily triggered. This theme - to me - is not for the faint hearted and if offended easily I wouldn’t read this either. Since this is for the Joker, its written to not make you love him, not make him out to be something hes not. It’s written to show him as the evil man he is who likes to control and manipulate people. You have been warned.
               You let out a shrill cry but instead only heard a crackled voice that fled aimlessly down the corridor, followed by many others from different places yet stuck in similar situations such as yourself. He had left you strapped to a chair in the middle of a dark room, deep beneath what you presumed was his lair. He, was the Joker. And the sadistic bastard made sure to keep the door wide open. Teasing you of any possibility of escaping, as the lights creepily flicked on and off, illuminating the tile floors that was still covered with small traces of blood which seemed to travel on for miles. Joker liked to call this horror show his own Arkham Asylum. Unfortunately for you and many other of its inhabitants, the Joker was not as fond as containing the mentally insane in his ‘Asylum’ as he was with keeping the healthy minded.
           In your room - which you had heard been called ‘Room red’ many times - there was nothing but black walls, black floor and a wooden chair which as mentioned you were currently strapped to. In front of you, the door still stayed wide open, slowly creaking shut as every second ticked by. The noise was pure agony to your ear drums, making you let out another horrified squeal. Perhaps this place was making you insane. After all the treatment Joker made sure came your way, the smallest things would set you off and put you on edge. Many times the man had refereed to you as his ‘Special patient’ or ‘Experimental Guinea pig’. He said you were clever. Smarter then the other idiots who resided in his prison cells.
           Such thoughts brought you to relief when the metal door slammed shut right before your very eyes, causing your neck to twitch. You were smart enough to figure out that this place was designed by the Joker to be the complete opposite of the real Arkham Asylum. It wasn’t designed to help the ill get better. Instead, It was designed to see how ill he could make the better. If he could force them to be as deranged as him, if not more so. A sudden panic jolted through the very bones in your body, making you lurch forward on the chair vomiting up what you could only assume was blood all over your bare knees and underwear. After a few more painful coughs, all the contents were out of your stomach, though, you doubted it was a good thing if the contents of your stomach was blood.
           The volatile metallic taste stayed in your mouth. Forcing you to lick the rest of it from around your mouth and swallow it down. The action however, only caused your stomach to throw up more contents. This time however it was defiantly vomit. The smell was undeniable and if your gut wasn’t already empty more would have come up in no time. But instead, you were left to gag none stop for what felt like an hour. The slimy traces of your sick gliding down your knee, to your ankle and before greasing up in between your toes. The chunky, wet, gooey pieces sticking to your skin. To try and make the situation better, you slowly moved your toes to try and shake off the vomit, though, that only made it stringy and mix with the blood, Causing you to get into yet another gagging fit.
          Was this all your life would consist of now? Crying, gagging and screaming? Whimpering you remembered how you had begged him to end it. Begged him to kill you in away way he pleased. As long as by the end of it you would be dead. But did he listen? Somewhat. The joker had told you, he was killing you. Just slowly, but just long enough to see how much someone as simple minded as yourself could take torment and torture. That was before he told you how sexy you looked vulnerable, how he liked how big your lips had gotten now they were swollen. He told you he liked big lips, and he liked how skinny your stomach was now he had been starving you. He said bones were an absolute turn on for him since they reminded him of a corpse after it had finished rotting away like you would do soon.
         You remembered him grabbing your arm and un-tying you, holding you down as you tried to run past him over to the metal door, over to what you could now only assume to be freedom. The jokers hands held your arms against the wall firmly, his nails digging into your skin until you were both bruised and bleeding. At this point your room was still dark as per usual, but hos face was so white it was the only thing you could see. You suspected he did that on purpose. To scare his victims into believing the only light at the end of the tunnel…was him. And suddenly you didn’t want to die anymore. You wanted to live. You wanted to live despite his fist punching your face in so much your noes had broken and everything was blurry, so blurry you couldn’t tell the difference between up and down. You wanted to live even though his beating had left you exhausted and rendered helpless, even when his hands began tearing off your clothing till you were left bare. You desperately wanted to live when he turned you so your cheek was smothered into the ice cold floor, drool and blood escaping the corner of your mouth as his fingers danced across your back. His left hand cupping and pinching at your nipple whilst his right held a knife. Carving degrading words into your back which stung like a bitch. Words like slut, slag, whore, bitch.
         You oh so desperately wanted to live as he threw the knife down and rammed into your tight hole. Pounding into you as you only managed to let out raspy pleas of him to stop before finally going silent. You just wanted to live, even after he had come back several days that week, just to carve more words into your skin and just to try new positions that he knew you could never disagree to because you couldn’t. You wanted to live; To prove him wrong.
       After that fitful day Harley Quinn herself began paying you visits. You had allowed her Puddin’ to apparently pleasure you as he did to her. Despite trying to assure her that wasn’t the case, and what he did to you wasn’t pleasuring. The Psycho still took pleasure in beating you senseless before throwing you out of your cell bound. Parading you around the different cells to make you feel small, to make you feel worthless. Ashamed. Which soon, you did. She let other men play with you. Touch you in similar ways to the Joker. She let them shove themselves into every nook and cranny they could find on your body. Leaving you and sobbing filthy mess.
        Did you still want to live? You didn’t know?
        How long had you been in here? Days? Weeks? Months? Years? Seconds? Minuets? Hours? Milliseconds? No to long to short. Maybe centuries? No, no that cant possibly be it. How long had it been? Yesterday he had told you 6 months or so.But no that wasn’t right that had been only but a few days ago not yesterday you had slept three times since then but it was so dark you didn’t know if it was night or day anymore. Taking a shaky breath. A soft chuckle left your lips.
“(Reader insert)~” A voice that was all to familiar called. You hadn’t noticed the door open softly, a man walking inside. His face white, his hair green, his lips ruby red. Smirking down at you, his pasty skin crinkling in unnatural places. The joker pouted mockingly before speaking. “Aw my poor baby. Look at your face.” He suddenly laughed menacingly. “You use to be so pretty. But i suppose after breaking your noes and leaving some pretty scars here and there, your messed up in your looks like I am in my head.” He laughed harder. Jabbing at your ribs causing you to yell out in pain. “Poor fat, disgusting (Reader insert). Trust me when I tell you. You’ll never get saved looking like that. Old bats would think your some monster, and run the other way.”
         So. Did you still want to live? Being the ugly creature you now were?
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