i will never stop being 6 years old and lonely. i will never stop being 11 years old and lonely. i will never stop being 19 years old and lonely. i will never stop
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a lot of you know me for the "my psychiatrist asks me about friendship & i tell him about distance" excerpt but its been almost a year since i wrote it & the whole piece still resonates so i thought id share (x)
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“sometimes i think…. what if i’m the bad luck” “i’ve got no one” ah good to know not all the trauma has been therapised out of you my dude
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Loneliness does not come from having no people about one, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to oneself, or from holding certain views which others find inadmissible.
Carl Jung, “Memories, Dreams, Reflections”
I am constantly trying to communicate something incommunicable, to explain something inexplicable, to tell about something I only feel in my bones and which can only be experienced in those bones.
Franz Kafka, “Letters to Milena”
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four things that are true at the same time:
once you control for things like ethnicity and socio-economic status, “male loneliness” is not statistically more likely than “female loneliness”. in fact, white women are more likely to be lonely than white men — but this is not statistically significant in all studies. particularly note that the loneliness is worst amongst the disabled, regardless of gender
the loneliness felt by black men and queer men (and other men within minority groups) is likely of a different nature than the loneliness felt by other groups, and so probably requires different solutions
we are all lonely at the moment at higher rates than ever before, regardless of identity, and creating conflict about who is loneliest doesn’t help that. in fact, I’d wager that these kinds of debates probably make it worse
if you want people to stop feeling so lonely, you need to work on making them feel less alienated from the world. and a lot of us are doing an awful job at that at the moment
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