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#lol idk
magicratfingers · 10 months
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All time favorite joke
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offkilterkeys · 4 months
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Saw this and couldn’t not do it.
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OG
V
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mrsoharaa · 2 months
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Miguel being crude and mean about you not having a valentines date, mocking you subtly about it with a cheeky, cruel grin. But gets immediately jealous/possessive when he sees another Spider hitting on you and asking you out with a flimsy full boquet of red roses. Makes you burn or throw them out while bending you over his desk and fucking you silly, grabs you by the throat and everything. How romantic! :3
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cinderthewolflady · 8 months
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Do you know what freaking time it is bro.
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you-will-be-found · 9 months
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no context barbie spoilers
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theloveinc · 9 months
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kirishima x reader - kiri really, really, REALLY wants a third child.
(warnings: afab + fem reader who is a mom with two bio babies, breeding, slight sense of dubcon but it really is con, slight voyeurism, heavy on the pregnancy, mention of sick baby + baby coming early (all is well tho), son = mister, daughter = missy, abrupt end)
1.5k+ words. enjoy!!
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-
The conversation comes up on a sunny day in Denki’s backyard. His wife and their newest daughter in her lap sunbathing next to you, the baby reaching out for your sleeve every so often as the three of you watch Denki, Kiri and the older children—save for the oldest who claims she’s too big for such things—play in the sprinklers, screaming. 
“Have you thought about a third?” Denki’s wife asks, tipping down her sunglasses to send you an inquisitive stare.
“Oh, god, no. Ei and I are done.” 
“Really?” she seems surprised. “He’s such a good father, you’d think…”
You shrug, taking a sip of the mango slush that was provided to you when you first arrived. “We were considering it, but mister came so early that the stress of another seemed too much.”
“Ah, I know how that goes all too well. Has Kiri gotten, you know…?” She makes a snipping motion with her fingers.
You snort, the thought almost as implausible as Denki with a son. Doctors have recommended that most heroes remain unaltered, at least to reduce the chances of hormone levels fluctuating unexpectedly and causing changes in prowess… and though that didn’t stop Bakugo five years ago and nothing’s changed about his aggression or fighting style, your husband still uses the warning as an excuse to stay hesitant. 
“Oh, hell no. Have you tried talking to him about it? He goes nuts, and the man is stubborn as a bull.” 
“Are you guys using condoms, then?”
At that, you can’t help but laugh. Protected sex after what? Nearly ten years of marriage? Kirishima was far from the type even when you first met, if you tried bringing up latex contraception now, he’d practically consider it offensive, or a threat to his masculinity at the very least. 
“Pills for now. Surprisingly the side effects have been manageable.” 
“Aren’t you worried those might fail?” 
Her persistent concern touches you, and how could it not when she and her husband have to wrangle five, blonde, Kaminari daughters from sunset to sundown on the daily… but it’s nothing you don’t think you and Ei couldn’t navigate together if need be. 
The youngest starts squirming for you and you offer to take her in your arms, trading your slush to plop her on the warmth of your lap which immediately ceases her cooing. 
“Well,” you tickle her baby plump belly, the delighted squeal you get in response making you grin, “I guess an accident wouldn’t be so bad if they turned out like this one.” 
-
Little did you know, Kirishima overheard your little, half-joking declaration. It’s a wonder, given that you’d assumed if the water hadn’t drowned out your voices, the seven screaming children (and Denki) would’ve.
But he catches you the next morning, fresh out of the shower as you stand in the bathroom prepping your skin for the rest of the day.
“I heard,” he leans in behind you, his damp and loose hair reflected in the mirror, “you said you wanted another baby?”
You chuckle, the steamy warmth of his belly pressing into your back almost overwhelming, “I said, accidents happen, my love. I’m perfectly content with the three babies I have now.” 
Kirishima pouts, the hands on your hips tightening as they slowly turn you around to face him. 
“What if we…?” he starts, but you don’t let him finish.
“Haven’t we talked about this?” you yawn, picking a stray piece of thread off of the damp towel hanging around his shoulders, your other hand running down his bare chest. “I thought we agreed two was enough?” 
“I was just thinking, you know, it doesn’t sound so bad now that mister is older and all.”
You wave him off, nudging your way out from between the sink counter and his hips before pressing one quick peck to his cheek. 
“Shoo. You’re going to be late for work,” Kirishima doesn’t let you go so easily, his hands lingering and only falling when you’re finally out of reach. “There’s a lunch in the fridge. Don’t get hung up on it, yeah?”
-
But Kirishima is hung up on it.
He loves being a dad more than anything, feels as though it's one of the many reasons he was placed on this earth, and though he loves you now more than any other time in his life and would love you no matter what happened to your body, he can’t say he wasn’t extremely delighted when you were pregnant... nor that he doesn’t want to see another rounded belly on you again.
Besides, your daughter was so curious about it, so precious and clingy, but she was almost too little to understand what was happening in your belly when you were swollen with your son… that Kirishima really only has a handful of memories of you all together before one baby became two and two babies became children.
And when he spent their babyhood was spent half in a hospital and half with you out of commission, he just can't help but imagine that doing it over with a third would make his whole life complete.
It just makes perfect sense. 
-
It’s couple’s hot yoga the next time it gets brought up, Kirishima helping you hold the warm-up stretches as he ponders the questions out loud.
“Have you thought about it at all?” He whispers, hands pulling your thigh away from your face and into a stretch meant to straighten your hamstrings. 
“Thought about what?”
“Baby number three,” he lowers your leg and helps switch you to the other side. 
You laugh, disturbing the calm of the heated studio, apologizing to the other couples there softly after. “You seem pretty committed.”
Kirishima nods like a desperate puppy, knowing how he must look in his loose tank top and sweatband, his hair pushed back from his forehead revealing a flush that isn’t yet due to the steam in the room. 
“What’s so good about a third, anyway?” you as say as he repositions your leg from straight to bent at the instructors command. “You know how sick mister was. I can’t go through that again.”
“What if you didn’t have to?
You glare, straining your neck to make sure Kiri can get a peak at your angry eyes. “You say that like you know what would happen.”
"I just…” he shrugs, thumb rubbing your ankle. “We missed missy’s toddler years taking care of mister, and by the time he was walking, missy was using full on sentences and demanded that we start treating her like an adult.” 
The instructor commands you turn on your side and begin the same stretches that way. 
“You were also still recovering from the pregnancy, I had to go back to work… and I want to do it again but with just one this time. Savor the baby years the way we should’ve savored theirs.” 
Kirishima lets his palm brush the intersection between your thighs as he keeps your let from falling. Damp and warm with sweat, he can’t help but press his fingers into where your loins hide under your leggings and—
You stick your foot in his face, the other couples amongst the room already shifting. “Up. It’s your turn for stretches.”
-
“Shit.” 
“Ooh, mommy cussed!”
“You didn’t hear that, baby. I’m just—“ you squint at the notification on your device.
“What?” Kirishima asks, holding your daughter in his arms. The tops of her feet are pressing into his belly while they pass a large slice of dripping, red watermelon back and forth. Your son is preoccupied at the coloring table set up in the living room, drawing pictures of semi-naked heroes with enormous hairdos. 
“Pharmacy’s out of my birth control. Won’t be in for a few weeks.”
You don’t miss the way Kiri’s eyebrows immediately raise, though you glance back down at your phone to panic-click more buttons in the hopes that he gets the hint. 
“What’s that mean, babe?” he asks, feigning innocence about a subject you very well know he’s versed in. 
“What do you mean, what’s that mean?” 
“I mean, what are we gonna do about that? You know—“
You groan. 
“Hush. We’re just gonna pretend I didn’t say that and move on,” you turn on your feet to rush out of the room, calling over your shoulder. “And share the watermelon with mister. I’m calling the doctor.” 
“Ooh,” your daughter says again, her sticky hands going to Kiri’s cheeks which are pinched in a funny expression she doesn’t clock, “Daddy’s in trouble!” 
-
But honestly, Kirishima can’t pretend he hadn’t heard what you said… and truly doesn’t know what you were thinking when you suggested that he try. Birth control aside, on it or off it, you were bound to have sex eventually… that was never even the issue. 
Though when you bring up condoms to the whiney redhead barely a few days later, he barely manages to open one before accidentally flinging it across the room in trying to see how well it stretches. 
“I can’t do this,” Kirishima frowns, sitting back down on the bed after pulling his briefs back on to throw away the slimy piece of latex. He curls an arm back around you to pull you in between his legs, hands moving to grip your waist while he admires the cute black, mom panties you’re wearing that sit over the handles of your hips. “I don’t wanna wear a condom.”  
You sigh, your own hands scratching the tops of his shoulders. “You’re not planning on pulling out, either. Are you?”
“No,” he doesn’t even say it shamefully, “I’m not planning on pulling out.” 
“And you’re gonna hope that it sticks?” 
“Yes,” his eyelids flutter looking up at you. You’re so cute frowning like you’re not gonna let him have his way and then pretend it’s all his fault. An accident. “I’m gonna hope it gets you pregnant.” 
That makes you roll your eyes, though it also has you squeezing your legs together. 
“You’re such a dog.”
Kirishima nods, but you don’t stop him from slowing pulling your panties down. 
“Only for you.”
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rokcale · 2 months
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If you think about it ,
Tcf is just one big family feud ...
that poor cale got dragged into....
I mean think about it....
Choi han is the hero and cale barrow is the villain of tboah written by their shared great great something grandfather choi jun gun also known as nelan barrow ....
Poor han and white star are related 😂 probably cousins or something.
Oh and the guy from the choi family that started the barrow line ( coz dragon slayers were supposed to be a bloodline i think? Don't remember... on that note ... choi han did slay a dragon... just saying... literally the only one who did that other than his probably distant cousin (rip raon and his dead bro who was killed by said villain cousin of the hero))
And while these half or quarter cousins are beefing, the guy that started this shitshow is watching and documenting it, to ship it off to the guy that would then clear his mess😂 like bruh....
Anyway , i could be wrong and not remembering it right so don't take my word for it... i just read part 1 and that was years ago so🤷‍♀️ welp still a nice thought to have lol, even if it's probably wrong.
It's just a hilarious thought i had while washing dishes 😌 coz that's what happens when do chores.... brain starts wandering...
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proth-blog · 15 days
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Someone need to take away my ability to create shit posts because tell me why does this look serious ;-; its a clown getting yamchaed it shouldnt look well made ;-;
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artastic-friend · 3 months
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I made a new horse!!!
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I like to imagine that they care for spiders and are able to create and/or fix up damaged webs with their magic to help the spiders^^
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magicratfingers · 1 year
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What do vampires do for the holidays
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offkilterkeys · 6 months
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gonna PUNT that FREAKING baby….
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How Kinito felt after making the most banger song ever
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kriskuuju · 4 months
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grapefruit185 · 1 year
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scribs
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lannonorris · 6 months
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The fact that Max’s full name is Max Emilian and not simply Maximilian is something so funny to me I can’t explain it
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