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liaarxse · 10 months

Text

Get off damn it!

Headcanons

TR characters cuddling with you after a fight

Characters: The Kawata twins (separately), Matsuno Chifuyu, Manjiro Sano

Warnings: None, crack

A/n: This freeky AI bot is giving me way too many ideas.

Souya Kawata

Let's get straight to the point, you know it, he knows it, y'all cuddling after a fight ASAP

Not even a fight, even if it was just a meeting

Y'all cuddling ok? Ok.

He's usually pretty riled up after a fight and has more energy

Tells you all the drama bitch

Literally get out your notepad now

Maybe he let a tear fall here and there, but that's about it

But oh

Ohhh

OHOHOHOHOOOO

God forbid he straight up cries like in that one manga chapter (I can't remember which one it was)

Pray

Even if you don't pray, pray

Even if you are a Satanist, pray

Even if you're a God or a Devil, pray

You and Nahoya both know the shit that's about to go lose

Just stay put and wait for him

He comes to your place as if in a matter of seconds, changing and throwing himself onto you, breaking down

Well, shit.

He's cursing them out, saying how he beat their ass and would do it again, while crying

How?

Idk

Don't ask me they ain't real

But show this boy some love. He deserves it. Caress his scalp, play with his hair, place tender kisses on his face, and just hold him for a bit longer

He'll return the favor as soon as possible.

Nahoya Kawata

Ah, fuck, not again

He gets into a fight every single day

And always comes to your place so you can fix him up

"Hey baby."

"Nahoya your face is literally deformed what the fuck."

Just fix him

Not because he deserves it but because he's annoying as shit and won't leave you alone

Once, he broke your window and crawed into your room at 4 in the morning to tend his wounds

He paid for your therapy sessions dw

Since he's 24/7 injured, he always smells like blood

Like, ew?

Once he came by after a nasty fight all injured and blooded up

You gagged

LMAOOOOO

"Fuck you."

"Sure."

🤡

He always throws his bloody ass on your new sheets, and you go BERSERK

You once hit him in the head cough Deja Vu cough with a broom because he ruined your sheets

He smirked at that comment

You kicked him outside

He crawled back in and trapped you in a hug

That lasted all night

"Nahoya let go I need to pee."

"Bitch hold it in."

He loves you, i swear

Matsuno Chifuyu

Blooded your sheets on accident

Don't be mad please

Here, pet Peke J

You mad?

You don't get to pet Peke J

Loser\j

In all honesty, he's reckless.

Every. Fucking. Time. He comes by the next day you're restocking on aid supplies.

Stg he better start paying up

Once called you in the middle of a fight with his nose bleeding and a few bruises on his face

"I'm coming over later, babe!"

"MATSUNO HOLY SHI—"

He hung up

Your ass went CRAZY before he came knocking on your door

He was injured

A lot

Really

Is he half dead?

Will he make it through the night?

Will—

Hey he brought Peke J!

Everything Is fine

He cleaned up before cuddling with you but still managed to dirty your sheets

"You're lucky my son is here."

"That's my son, pussy."

Y'all love Peke J more than your relationship/j

He changed your sheets and went back to cuddling you

If needed he'll buy new ones

Baby boy, baby 🫶

Manjiro Sano

Bfr, you woke up, and your boyfriend was sleeping right next to you, beaten up

You screamed

He screamed

You threw a book at him

He got a concussion

Great, more blood

"Damn it Manjiro I just bought these sheets!"

"Are you insane?"

Maybe lol

After leaving the room you still felt the smell of blood.

Looking down you saw your favourite pj smeared with droplets of blood from none other than MIKEY

He had cuddled you while you slept personally in blooded clothes

You chased him with a pan

Seven AM the usual morning line-up

Start on the chores and sweep till the floor's all cleEeeeeEN

Imagine Mikey as Rapunzel though

Them dark impulses gon kick in hard up inside that tower

Give him love too, please, #helptakemichiwiththesemessedupbastards

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onesidedradiostatic · 11 days

Note

Another possible factor in Vox’s team-up with Val could be Desperate Rebound. Vox might’ve been in the mindset that he’d get with anyone to “get over” his fallout with Al, especially if there were messy feelings involved. And it’s not like Valentino would turn Vox down in that regard >_> he’d be like a trophywife overlord for Val. And Vox could show Val off as an “i told you I’d make a team” to Alastor (Al: did he agree just because you slept with him. Vox: HAHA NO Val: the sex was great, thanks for asking)

It’s funny to imagine if the “team” Vox asked Alastor to join was just him at that point. Like “And who else do you have in this partnership?”

“Just you and me. So far! Hear me ou—”

“How is that any different to us right now?? Oh wait, I suppose you’d be in charge?!” (‘What’s wrong with the way I’m in charge?!’)

“Well actually,”

*boxing ring bell noise* FIGHT

(reference to this ask)

HELP LMAODASKGOSHOSFGO. honestly yeah I do actually lowkey hc staticmoth starting out as a kinda rebound cause of vox dealing with unrequited feelings for years followed by a brutal rejection and he was like WOOOOO UNHEALTHY COPING LET'S FUCKING GOOOOOO and then he and val fucked the night vox got rejected by alastor. (I actually alluded to hcing this in an old ask too LMAO) (I do like to think it got more genuine with time though I just think it started out as a super fucking messy rebound) (I mean they're still messy but it was MESSIER back then)

also no comment on the second part. that's just hilarious LMAOOOOO

#ask #osrs.txt #radiostatic #staticradio #onewaybroadcast #staticmoth #voxval #suggestive #hazbin vox #hazbin hotel vox #vox #hazbin valentino #hazbin hotel valentino #valentino #hazbin alastor #hazbin hotel alastor #alastor

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makoodles · 9 months

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I’m sick and waking up every two seconds sooooo here’s my hc on the boys + sleeping and thought you’d enjoy! sorry if this is crossing any boundaries! feel free to delete :)

JAKE is a bed hog. spread out in ways you can’t even comprehend. actually, he’s either pressed up against you to the point you’re pushing him off because gawd damn these Na’vi men are HOT at night or you’re on the ground and he’s snoring so loud the entire clan is complaining. he is blissfully unaware when everyone is grumbling in the morning as he just can not shut up about how good he slept last night. also cannot comprehend why you cannot breathe when he’s laying on top of you. big ol puppy with a big ol head.

TSU’TEY is spooning you. covering you in any way your bodies will allow. even in the deepest sleep he can muster, some part of his brain and body are preoccupied with making sure you’re safe. which is right against him. if you move at any point, he’ll grab you and drag you to him. you come to him. his hold is always gentle but firm in a way. comforting.

NETEYAM is the gentlest of the three. still protective but gives you room to breathe. like actually. he’s aware how hot he can be (in more ways than one AYYYY sorry) but he likes holding hands! or a pinky! something. has to be holding not just touching some part of you. eerily quiet. you have probably checked his breathing more than once. the lightest sleeper. you move and he’s already asking if you’re okay and rubbing at any skin he can reach I am a Neteyam girl through and through. he loves to gently hold the back of you head and drag his fingers through your hair until he falls asleep. his tail will find some limb of yours when he dreams. swishing gently in good dreams (of you, of course) and tightening in a nightmare.

THIS IS SO CUTEEEEE MY HEART IS FULL AND I'M IN LOVE

there's something about fluffy little headcanons like this that are so healing ?? i'm obssessed omg so cute!!

jake's one was so accurate i literally can't imagine him sleeping any other way omg i just know he'd be so annoying lmaooooo !! tsu'tey and neteyam are just angels though!!

#asks #avatar headcanons #tsu'tey #jake #neteyam

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just-imagine-that · 1 year

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hello ! could i request ateez with an s/o that's vv strong, like you did with TXT ? thanks in advance :D

Ateez Reaction - S/O Is Really Strong

Some of these probably lost all sense cause I got too excited and couldn't put everything I wanted into this without making it a full ass Imagine

I decided to kill everyone today cause of the Gifs I'm using lmaooooo😈😈

All Gifs Found On Pinterest

(Gf/Bf) = Girlfriend/Boyfriend

WARNING: Fluff, Suggestive

Seonghwa

(Blonde Hwa is superior!!)

The first time he noticed how strong you were was when he dropped his phone underneath the couch. He had tried sticking his arm underneath to grab it, but it was too far back for him to reach. Then he tried to lift the couch up, which was a mistake on his end because it felt like he was trying to pick up a giant bar of gold it was so heavy.

Luckily, you had walked into the living room as he was struggling. You're bowl of fruit in hand, you just kinda leaned on the doorway for a second to watch him struggle, a laugh bubbling in your throat.

You decided to be nice, though, and set your bowl on the coffee table to help him.

"What's up? Why are you trying to lift our couch?" You asked.

He groaned in response, "I dropped my phone and it went too far back for me to reach."

You nodded your head in understanding and booted him out of the way so you could try lifting the couch yourself. You picked up the end of the couch with ease, confused at how Seonghwa couldn't lift something so light.

Hwa stared at you in shock, nearly forgetting all about his phone, but quickly grabbed it off the floor before going back to gawking at you setting the couch back down.

"Ya, how could you not lift that, that's not even weight worthy!"

Hwa watched as you grabbed your bowl of fruit and left into the kitchen.

"Man, I need to start working out.." he breathed out, wide eyed at what he had just witnessed.

Hongjoong

Omg he would absolutely love having a strong (Gf/Bf)!! Like, imagine how cute it would be to just randomly pick him up and take him to where he wants to go around the house. You just flip him over like a sack of potatoes over your shoulder and just bring him to the kitchen, setting his ass down on the counter.

Especially if he gets injured. If he can't make his way around the house, you're gonna be his personal uber driver. Also, I can't get this image out of my head; Hongjoong is at his studio, passed out because he's been over working himself again, and you come to pick him up because he hasn't been answering your texts.

You walk in and find him fast asleep at his desk chair, poor thing looks like he hasn't slept in weeks. So you take pity on him, and, very carefully, you pick him up bridal style, and he's passed out so he doesn't feel a thing. You bring him outside and buckle him up in your car, and off you take him, back home.

As you arrive, you notice that he's still knocked out, light snores coming from his slightly open mouth. You unbuckle him and pick him back up as carefully as you can, and somehow you unlock your door with him in your arms. Not even taking your shoes off, you immediately take him to your shared bedroom.

You set him down gently on the bed and cover him with the warm, freshly washed, blankets. Finally taking your shoes off, you crawl under the blankets and drift off to sleep, staring lovingly at your hardworking boyfriend.

(Hongjoong is my bias, so I was smiling so hard while writing this, so adorable!!)

Yunho

Not even gonna lie, he gets chills every time you do something even remotely to do with strength. Yunho is a tall, big dude, but he's also soft like a puppy, so he is actually a little scared of you, because he knows that if he ever does something you don't like, you could snap him easier than Jongho snaps fruit in half.

He knows you never would, because he makes sure to be the best boyfriend as he possibly can, but there is always a possibility he could fuck something up and you could get angry at him, after all, no one is completely perfect. But that would never actually happen cause, even if he did do something wrong, you just can't be mad at him.

WAIT.. I just had a thought. Ya'll are that really intimidating couple, cause Yunho is super tall and you're super strong, so whenever people first meet you guys, they're probably scared shitless, but then ya'll turn out to be huge sweethearts and any previous intimidation is GONE.

There was a day where you picked Yunho up to REALLY show off your strength, because the Ateez members didn't believe Yunho when he told them that you could probably bench press all of them and more (obviously exaggerating, but he wouldn't be surprised if you could.)

Like you straight up lifted him up off his ass to show the boys that Yunho wasn't just talking nonsense. You just picked him up bridal style and started doing squats with him in your arms as if it was nothing.

Yunho is a giant puppy with his strong (Gf/Bf) who will mess anyone up if they even try to hurt him, and that's that.

Yeosang

Not gonna lie, after he finds out about your amazing strength, he talks about it to his members ALL THE TIME. He is constantly bragging and even teasing Jongho about how he was nothing compared to you when it came to strength.

Everytime the Ateez members have had enough of Yeosang bragging about you, they complain to you about it, to which you ask Yeosang about how often he talks about you. This bitch responds by getting offended and saying he doesn't talk about you THAT often.

When the others hear Yeosang's response, you can bet that an argument is going to occur, and the 7 boys will most definitely win, because they have experienced his bragging for weeks now.

Yeosang doesn't let up no matter what though, so, at some point you just got tired of hearing them argue and slung Yeosang over your shoulder as if he was a sack of potatoes.

"Hey! I was winning that fight, I need to finish it once and for all to prove I definitely don't talk about you all the time!" He exclaimed, still heated from the argument.

"Honey, we all know you were gonna lose, just admit it, you love me too much to ever stop thinking about me," you teased.

Yeosang let out a huff before finally giving up his fight, knowing full well that you were right.

San

I feel like he would really love to get picked up by you, not gonna lie. Like, one day San was having a hard time falling asleep, so he was just on he couch watching TV while you were asleep, well.. he thought you were asleep, but you could feel his absence from the bed and it was really bothering you.

You started to get frustrated after an hour of waiting in bed for him to come and sleep, but he didn't. So, you flipped the covers off of you, a bit annoyed at the fact that you couldn't sleep without his presence. You march into the living room to see him watching a show.

You stood in front of him, snatched the remote from his hands and turned the TV off, much to San's displeasure, a groan left his mouth in annoyance. To which you just rolled your eyes, pulled him up from the couch and opened your arms as a sign for him to Koala hug you so you could carry him to bed.

He made no fuss and immediately did as you suggested by that gesture.

With your arms under his butt, holding him to your body while walking back to your shared room, you rolled your eyes.

"Yeah, yeah, ya big baby, I know this is the only way you'll come to bed. How did we even start this routine in the first place?" ypu asked, genuinely curious.

"I have no idea, but I'm not complaining!" San replied.

Mingi

Mingi seems like the type of person who would blush uncontrollably at your show of strength. Like, if you have the muscles and you wear a tank top or something really revealing, he's gonna be lookin' at you like you're a fuckin' diamond.

I think he would really like a strong (Gf/Bf). The day he finds out about your strength is the day he swears he is in heaven, because you lifting something heavy is so hot to him.

Him and you were just chillin' in your living room, cuddling and watching TV, when you heard a knock at your door. You knew you were getting a mattress delivered to your house that day, so it wasn't a surprise when you opened the door to find a big fuckin' box on your doorstep.

"That's a pretty big package, let me help you bring it in," Mingi offered, walking to the other side of the box to help you pick it up.

"Nah, I'm good, I get stuff like this all the time, it's no problem," you answered right before you picked up the giant box with two arms and brought it inside.

Mingi stood in the doorway in shock that you could pick up something as heavy as that without anyone's help.

He snapped out of his thoughts when they started to get a bit dirty; like, damn, what else could you do with that strength of yours?

Wooyoung

Oh God, this absolute Prince is gonna make you carry him round he house all he time. Like, if you don't physically lift him off of the bed in the morning, he will refuse to leave your room, which gives you two choices, pick him he fuck up and bring him into he kitchen with you, or he's getting breakfast in bed.

He isn't afraid to tease you and your strength either. He knows full well that you could beat him up if he ever goes too far, but he also knows your limits, so that won't ever happen. He'll tease you when you're angry and say some shit like,

"Aww, Jagiya, you can throw that person out the window if they're bothering you that much~~"

Like, what the hell, Woo, no you're not gonna throw them out the window, though the idea doesn't sound too bad at the moment.

Not even gonna lie, he actually TRIES to make you mad sometimes because he finds it really hot and he's hoping that you'll take advantage of your strength one day and make use of it on him in the bedroom.

Yeah he get's horny at the most simplest show of strength when it comes to you. He would literally do anything to make you throw him around and be rough in bed.

(Oh God, I am so sorry, I just can't get StrengthKink!Wooyoung out of my head🥺)

Jongho

Baby boy is so confused and happy at the same time. Like, what do you mean you're stronger than him and can lift him like he weighs nothing, but also, he now has a fruit breaking buddy!

I can just imagine the amount of fruit the boys buy you to make you and Jongho have a battle of who can break the most fruits in the least amount of time. Jongho would always roll his eyes at them for making you guys compete over something so stupid, but when the competition starts, he gets so fucking competitive for some reason, like, chill out, you ain't winning no fuckin' award, unless you count the broken fruit as an award.

You win every competition, though, and, not even gonna lie, Jongho gets so pouty because of it. All the boys surround you and praise you for beating Jongho in the Ateez Fruit Smash Competition, meanwhile he's over here with the biggest puppy pout on his face because he lost.

You always have to give him reassurance that, even though you are stronger than him, he will always be your strong boyfriend and that ya'll can be strong together.

Also, tons of videos of you guys breaking fruit together on instagram. The best video is one where you were bothing holding the same apple, a hand on each side, and as you both dig your fingers into the core, you break it together.

Basically, you're relationship is a lot of wholesome fruit breaking!

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kykloi · 1 year

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Genshin thoughts: Teyvat, Time, Isekai, and Us

You know how genshins time runs much faster than ours? Well in isekai, what if we keep out perception of time. What might be merely a blink is genuinely a good portion of a minute with our eyes closed, and our sleeping, eating, and general body/healing cycles are completely off. We sleep on average for just under 18 days. Our wounds wouldnt heal for over 3 hours of their subjective time. Think about the eldritch implications of this.

Of course depending on the AU variation, you’d have to pair this with either the favor of teyvat or some kind of resistance to genshins world otherwise it would be trivially easy to kill us. But in a basic isekai situation we are the definition of an eldritch being. Their timescales are literally blink and you’ll miss it moments to to us. Our lifespan (on average) is 4680 (and change) Teyvatian years (assuming they have the same 365 calendar) aka 1708333 million days (again, and change). Aka. We’re basically what teyvat considers immortal. Point still stands though, we’d be old as fuck and our time perception is far different than an archons (what with them having born into teyvats speedy little day/night cycle)

One year is a little over six days for us. 5 days is 2 hours. Assuming we slept for 8 hours (leaving us very vulnerable), we’d still be able to go non-stop for what is subjectively 40 days for them. We’d literally go for over a month before resting for another half a month (20 days)

Could you imagine their reactions to that kind of cycle? Itd be so interesting, like leeetle ants with an eldritch god who disappears for months at a time only to come back and be super focused for like… a week, two weeks (depending on playtime) lmaooooo

So, thats my random time conversion ramble xD (genshin time is cursed when converted to real time who knew!) oh! And P.S the oldest of the archons (at around/over 7000) are about 116 (or older), while nahidas just under/around 8 and a halfish (8.3 if she’s exactly 500) to us, nahida, scaramouche, and even yae miko (due to them all being 500 or less) would (on average) be younger than us (while older-kinda) due to the time dilation.

Anyways, i did do all this math myself and then realized that someone else on reddit already did it for me xD, more fool me! Have fun with this, and if you write something off of this, tag me! I’d love to see your ideas!

#genshin impact #ky talks #sagau idea #fanfic talk #genshin time dilation #genshin au

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ihavemanyhusbands · 2 months

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OMG I HAVE AN IDEA about the car accident sweetie and Duncan 😭😭 what if one snowy day Duncan goes out to run some errands, promising to come back in an hour or two and the reader, taking advantage of being alone in the house, decides to pleasure herself on the very bed they've been sharing innocently thus far 🤭 she gets so lost in the sensations and the scent of Duncan still lingering on the sheets that she doesn't hear Duncan arriving to the house and catching her

OH MY GOD YEAHHHHHHHHH (also car accident sweetie is so funny lmaooooo) also i thought i was gonna write a longfic but i guess im just breaking down in parts at this point hahahaha but love it!

——

Duncan had left you to your own devices early in the morning, when the snow had barely just started falling. The weather had only gotten marginally worse, but you tried not to worry too much about when he’d be coming home.

Upon waking up, you decided to stay curled up in the warm bed just a little longer. You didn’t have a rigorous schedule with Duncan, so you preferred to take it easy as much as possible while you stayed with him.

You felt safe around him, like you had known each other much longer than just a handful of days. It definitely helped that he had been taking such good care of you, always remaining respectful.

It was virtually impossible not to develop a crush on him. He was ruggedly handsome, his frame much larger than yours. But in contrast, he had a quiet demeanor, and he seemed to be trying his best to be gentle when it came to you.

You covered yourself up to your chin, tugging his pillow towards you. His smell still lingered there, both comforting and enticing. You breathed him in, closing your eyes.

You weren’t sure if it was just desire or if it was also the need for some release, but your hand slowly inched downwards. You thought of his careful touch; The way he enveloped you in his arms when he slept, protective even while unconscious.

Your fingers passed the hem of your underwear, and you quickly discovered how worked up you were getting at the thought of him. You let out a soft gasp, instinctively bucking against your hand.

Unbeknownst to you, as your fingers found a steady rhythm that made your legs start to tense, Duncan had just returned from his errands. He was about to open the front door, but he froze as he heard the unmistakable sounds of your pleasure.

He pressed his ear to the door just to confirm, his eyes widening as his heart began beating like a fierce war drum in his chest. He hesitated, unsure how to proceed.

Desire flared within him, try as he might to stifle it. His hand gripped the doorknob tightly, but he still didn't move. He felt a flicker of guilt at spying in on such a private moment... but it still thrilled him.

He couldn't deny his own attraction to you, but the last thing he wanted to do was scare you away. He swallowed hard, every single muscle in his body taut with restraint as he heard what seemed to be your climax. Oh, how he longed to hear it right in his ear...

But no, he would have to pretend to be none the wiser. Look you in the eye and act like he didn't know what your moans sounded like; That he didn't constantly think of how you felt against him during the night.

Before that, though, he probably had to take a walk to calm down.

----

#duncan vizla x reader #duncan vizla fanfiction #the black kaiser x reader #polar fanfiction #anonymous #minors dni #duncan vizla smut

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1moreoffkeyanthem · 5 months

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Alright I can’t sleep so it’s time for OJV headcanons that only myself will probably care about but who’s turn is it? Surprisingly not Kenny yet, but

Cartman.

• OrangeJuiceVerse Eric Cartman is an abrasive fuckwad, but he’s not actually Evil.

• He genuinely cares about his friends in his own fucked up way, but he will deny it every goddamn time. Like in hs he’ll give kenny a ride home when his shitty death trap car won’t start but he WILL insult him the whole way.

•this hasn’t been seen in the fics yet, but this mf starts a WEDDING PLANNING COMPANY called, you guessed it, CUPID ME. Marj actually got her degree in hospitality and helps him with it. Both the Style and Kenjorine weddings were GORGEOUS and so personal.

•he didn’t go to college himself but still lived with the group in their weird little house close to campus, and was the one to dubb the place “SP Survivors Safehouse” and named the EXTREMELY dangerous staircase the Widowmakers.

•was the drum major senior year but was incredibly lazy about it, just wanted a “position of power” (only got the position bc he’s an okay clarinet player and his mom slept with the assistant director)

•definitely fights with Kyle growing up ofc because as a child, he WAS truly evil. Like sociopathic. In 6th grade he FINALLY gets some mental help and is surprisingly good about keeping up with the cocktail of antipsychotics and various other shit, plus therapy and trying really hard to empathize with others.

^on that note he still ACTS LIKE A TOTAL DICK most of the time because he thinks it’s funny, but also because he is terrified of anything changing in their group and ya can’t teach an old mr kitty new tricks

• has the most OUT OF POCKET INSULTS ever and is SHOCKINGLY good at naming things. He coined the phrase “Sadsack” too.

• most of them are to mess with kyle of course. Some of his favorites are “pack it up, Fiddler On The Roof”, calling him a burning bush, prince of Egypt, things of that nature. HOWEVER!!!

•the rest of the gang accepted long ago that Cartman was always just gonna call them names and be a general jerk, but they SET UP RULES AS TO WHAT HE CANT DO/SAY!

• in high school, they implement the “Fuckwad Jar”.

• the rules of the jar are as follows: he can rip on his friends, but the SECOND something he does or says genuinely hurts someone, he has to put a dollar in. No exceptions.

• for example, he can roast Stan for being a “tree hugging hippie” and call him a buttplug, “photosynthesizing dildo”, but he CANT call him an alcoholic or try to bring home a taxidermied dog

• he’s not ACTUALLY for real transphobic, but if he tries to make a joke about Marj for shits and giggles, JAR!

• since his favorite target is Kyle, he has the most shit. He DOES still make fun of him for being Jewish, but ANYTHING GENUINELY ANTISEMITIC and ESPECIALLY ww2 “jokes” get the Jar. He’s also not allowed to say SHIT about his body, eating habits, or make ED jokes (this was a rule Stan made on his bfs behalf). Once, he made a concentration camp /ed joke COMBO while only Kyle and Marj were in the room. Kyle completely froze, but Marj went over and FUCKING DECKED HIM. When the other two got home and Kyle got over the initial shock, they all forced him to cough up his entire wallet lmao

• he can call Kenny a perv and rip on him for being poor and “pocket sized with nothing in his pockets”, he’ll call him McWhoremick but the Kenny jar rule is that you DO NOT SUGGEST THAT HES DISLOYAL

•sry I just enjoy the concept of the jar lol

•has a lot of fun living with the gang during his gap year, holding on to that last little bit of childhood normalcy, but eventually he does have to move on. He winds up traveling for a while and eventually settles in Nevada and sets up his business

•has a cat and that thing is SPOILED AS HELL

•tries to send Stan one of those beef jerky club memberships every year for Christmas lmaooooo

#south park #headcanons #ojv #OrangeJuiceVerse #eric cartman #Cartman hcs

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koulakoukoula2003 · 2 years

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in my head, erwin is this 40 year old virgin who still gets flustered around women and when he falls in love he'll be sincere and its so cute. So imagine my shock when i read erwin in your fics as a dominating manwhore who breaks women's hearts :')

First of, TYSM FOR READING MY FICS 🥰🥰🥰 lmaooooo 'dominating manwhore' AHAHAHAHAH

Second, JUST LOOK AT THIS MAN, ANON, and tell me he's not a dominating manwhore LMFAO I'VE NO IDEA how you look at Erwin and you're like YEAH THIS MAN'S A TOTAL VIRGIN

He's so manipulative, he's probably slept with noble ppl's daughters so that he can get them to pay sponsorships for the Survey Corps AHAHAHAHAH

I mean, I get it with Levi being a virgin and all, but Erwin's totally the opposite of Levi. Levi has feelings and he feels those feelings very intensely (so he doesn't open up to have sex with someone very easily), but Erwin?

Erwin has totally convinced himself he doesn't feel anything (even tho he does) so he (thinks he) doesn't mind fucking with someone and then leaving them the second it's over (he does feel guilt, but he's burying it just like he's burying everything else he's feeling). He will use everything and everyone to his advantage and sex is no exception.

The ONLY reason he'll break your heart for, it's cuz he doesn't accept your love. Otherwise, he is INDEED the perfect man. He'll buy you flowers, chocolates, treat you like a princess, baby the shit out of you when you're on your period or when you're moody or sick. He doesn't forget anniversaries, he takes you on expensive restaurants AND WHATEVER you want, he buys it to you. Clothing, jewellery, expensive shit, he doesn't mind. This man's EXTREME, he'll give you EVERYTHING.

But he won't give you his love.

My HC is, that he doesn't know how to do FEELINGS. He fucks like a god, he can fuck you and kiss you and FOOL you so damn easily that he LOVES YOU, but his job always comes first.

If your death means the salvation of humanity, he won't hesitate to toss you into battle. He won't tell you he loves you. He won't promise you that he's not going to die. No matter how PRECIOUS he is to you, he will still throw himself in battle cuz HE TELLS HIMSELF that he doesn't care about you, even tho, he does.

You will always come second in his priorities, the first being his job and his duties and his dreams.

So yeah, he is not the perfect man (I WENT OVERBOARD WITH THIS IM SORRY i can be talking about erwin all day tbh). HE WILL break your heart if it means it helps him get closer to achieving his dreams.

And I also HC he lost his virginity sometime in the training corps or when he became a young scout, chicks were totally swooning over him lmao but he never sought for something permanent. A meaningful relationship to get married and have a wife and children because HE KNOWS he will die one day for this 'higher' purpose he's aiming for.

Like, his dad died when he was a boy, Erwin doesn't want to do the same to his own potential children. So he doesn't want to have any, because he will still put his job and duties above his own family. That's why he is a heartbreaker.

Plus, 40-YEAR-OLD VIRGIN???? ERWIN???? You're telling me he's been interacting with ppl for forty years and no one thought about fucking this man???? Have you seen how this man looks like???? He looks like a fucking god who's directly fallen from the heavens and is now sitting on the throne of hell. He looks like a fucking angel with the soul of a devil.

I know y'all imagine the best, most perfect husband material man when you look at Erwin (cuz we all NEED the perfect man) but he's really not even remotely close to anything like that, let's be honest LMAO

Obviously, this is just my personal HC, y'all are free to HC him however you like I MEAN THIS IS THE BEAUTY of fanfiction!

Also, I got this ask a few weeks back, an anon asking me write a 40 year old virgin erwin losing his virginity to a virgin reader I'M SO SORRY IT'S TAKING ME SO LONG u must be the same person who asked for it BUT IT IS IN MY DRAFTS and im working on it uwu TYSM FOR WAITING 🥺🥰🥰🥰

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bonnvivre · 4 months

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A Funny Thing- Ch 23 word dump

new chapter to start off the new year LETS FREAKIN GOOOOOOO

i just washed my sheets too im settled in, my bed smells great, im having a great time

——————————

“And while Yuuji had humoured him at first, had been nothing but smiles as he posed for the pictures, the boy has clearly grown tired of the routine..” me during the filo family christmas party when they wanna take pictures … i can still see the ring light ….

ahh the first send off, brings tears to my eyes ;___; gojo taking a bunch of pictures and sukuna constantly checking him over to make sure he has his stuff- fathers are father-ing and they didn’t wanna let him go just yet :[[

aw they slept together

before i go on, the new friend is ACTUALLY megumi (i always thought it was megumi shshsh) cus toji literally couldnt afford another school and gojo’s gonna see him and either be like, “wait he looks familiar” or make THAT face right upon seeing him am i right lads or am i right lads (post chapter edit: i am right lads)

HAHAHAHA AN HOUR LONG RANT ON HIS NAILS PLS i see it yea canonically, sukuna usually makes himself look presentable . always pushing back his hair, dusting his clothes off, etc. he’s always gotta look good

whehehdhe he likes sukunaaaaaa !! someday that like will turn to love (post chapter edit: and that someday was today lads)

“How dare he have friends and hobbies and interests that don’t revolve around Satoru.” [gasp] HOW DARE YOU HAVE OTHER FRIENDS ARE YOU MAD ?!

what kind of netflix drama did he get his story from this time 🙄

thats not the only time you’ll be freezing bc of geto hahahahahahaha

the run on sentences of yuuji’s speech plus casual megumi drop is killing me

i think its a good choice to have off screen moments be mentioned within the present, readers get the context while keeping the story moving . kinda like what gege does :0

ARE THEY WATCHING HUMAN EARTHWORM (post chapter edit: YES THEY WERE OHOHOHO)

FOR ITS HIS FIRST DESIRE TO KISS SATORU OH MY GODDDDDDD WGAGAFBWHVFKD i may have yelled a little

AGH . blocked yet again … i know its still too early but ugh it hurts oh the pain

THATS AN EXPENSIVE MANICURE WTF AND TOJI’S BACK YIPPEEEEEE

i love sukuna being satoru’s voice of reason, bringing sense and logic to satoru’s emotional thinking and it doesn’t clash at all; rather, it works for them very well

AWWWW YUUJI AND MEGUMIIIIIII SO CUTEEEE

“Those baggy, unwashed garments of his allow for superior mobility, while the stench deters opponents from engaging in close-combat.” LMAOOOOO sukuna’s sarcastic remarks about toji, especially his smell im crying

post chapter thoughts:

i wanted to see him and megumi in this story so bad ngl and im so happy they’re here !!! i blame the copious amounts of fushiguro family comics i’ve consumed- shout out to ddub1618 on twt

bruh my page reloaded i have to go back

i love long chapter gimme long chapter hmhmhmmhmh

i saw the interpretations of yuuji’s sickness and i thought it was cool but it’s also giving “the curtains represent his depression and lack of will to carry on vs the curtains were blue” lol

it would be a … shame if toji ran out of sugar and needed a bag …….. its a good thing satoru has a nice ol bag at home >:]

OHHHH IT WOULD BE A SHAME IF THEY DECIDED TO GIVE HIM A NICE HOMECOOKED MEAL OUT OF THE GOODNESS OF THEIR HEARTS >:]]]

#a funny thing happened on the way to therapy #lai’s word dump n thoughts #for weiserr #i love toji i started watching jjk cus of him but i like to make fun of him lmao #they’re not THAT petty #i think #almost 3 which is an hour less from my last word dump !!#not good i have an education to pursue and i need sleep #sacrifices must be made however #gonna sleep now gn lads #love sayinf lads #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #gosuku #sukugo

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azsazz · 5 months

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the threesome scene would have made things weird in a lot of fronts. if azriel ends up with elain then it's weird he fucked her sister, if i found out someone slept with my sister i wouldn't touch them with a ten feet pole. also cassian and azriel are brothers. sjm keeps saying they are brothers so it would be weird to see. i don't care that they're not blood related, having sex with your adoptive sibling is still incest. and especially because it's cass, he doesn't have any other family then the ic so if anyone considers them brothers is him, so being in a sexual setting with the person he considers a brother is weird. and i mean i do like reading fics of threesomes or foursomes with the batboys (the recent one you wrote for kinktober w az and rhys was so good) but it being in the actual book is different

yeah literally i would be like wtf no way plz step away

lmaooooo dont read credence

i def see what you're saying. i personally don't think it would be as weird because it's the three of them, but it would be weird if he fucked nesta and got with elain. like that's a no for me.

but what's also interesting is how hard az still pines for mor knowing she slept with cass? obviously they dont care about sharing girls at that point then i'd assume. and they all did fuck girls in the same room when they were younger, so i could see them doing that again

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minevn · 8 months

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i feel like we as a society are sleeping TOO HARD on kei. he’s a sick, sick, individual and it feels like no one notices!!!!

honestly, it’s genius. his character by nature is DESIGNED to fall under the radar; always there, but never seen-type. love him so bad lowkey.

he’s, like, the 3rd(?) biggest yan of the game, CANONICALLY, and yet the people do not care 💔/j

bro is dangerous as hell, sorry. i cannot stop thinking about him. think with me. he was partners with mc— a person who really didn’t care for him—for a singular class project in high school and yet he switched around his entire life’s trajectory for them. he left everything behind; his future, his family, his sanity. all to seek the attention of someone who never glanced twice at him outside of the classroom.

chances are he knew how insane this was. when his parents screamed at him for letting his grades fall off the bone, there was probably a voice in his brain that was also shouting about how unreasonable he was being. and yet, despite all that, he pushed on. for some unclear, yet fascinating reason, it’s obvious that kei has no plans on stopping anything he’s doing until you’re his.

after meeting you, his mindset changed. and as it changed, so did his social circle. he went from the smartest kid in school to having “most likely to be jailed” written under him in the yearbook (credits to haruto, probably). okay ramble over! sorry your little guys literally won’t exit my head

final thoughts: he’s so cute. i want him.

LMAOOOOOOO nah fr fr though, I actually love him and have so much planned for him. I think honestly, he's one of my favorites??? at least at the moment. It's really fun to write him and to just think about him.

Yeah he's the 2nd most yandere, everyone is too focused on Yani(so valid though, love her<3) He's so slept on though :,( /hj There's like 2 people in the discord that have the Kei role, literally slept on so much LMAO. Still, I'm happy that you love him so much!

The urge to literally SPILL all of the info I have on Mine is insane, I cannot wait to share this story with everyone! It's definitely not the only or first vn to do this and I think I'm actually seeing a lot more vns do it but still, I have a bit more planned still so even if you guys find out early on there will still be some major plot twist! Anyways sorry, we're talking about Kei and I get so hyped about the plot of Mine LMAOOO he's so suspicious(I say as if I wasn't the one who made him)

I want to write so much more for this but I would be spilling so much lore LMAOOOOO Like fr though, Kei is slept on so much even though he's like one of the most important people to the plot. I've stated so many times how I write characters in most significance to the plot and how their routes are set up and Kei is just ignored. If any of you figure out the plot of Mine beforehand message me, if you get it right I have no reason not to tell you LOL However I totally understand wanting to play the game and figure out the plot yourself while playing, makes me feel big brain when I do that. But I actually love posts like this where it's psychoanalyzing characters and theorizing, it makes me so happy.

LMAOOO yeah, Haruto would do that. Tell you what, it was a shocker for Haruto and you when you two beat Kei who has been 1st in class since elementary school. He really threw everything away for you. Went from being loved by his parents, friends, and teachers to being rejected by everyone, including himself. No one has loved him for such a long time, he hopes you can change that <3

Yeeeees join us, one of us one of us one of us! love having them stuck in my head and it makes me so happy that others have my characters stuck in theirs!!

#💝-minevn #visual novel #yandere vn #🎤-asks #💻-Kei

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the1975attheirverybest · 8 months

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PLEASE Deuxmoi is so clueless, she didn't even know about Jack joining Dirty Hit... And I listened to her stupid podcast where she kinda tried to walk things back w/o admitting she was wrong about George and Matty ("You can be mad at your close friend and not talk to them temporarily but still stay friends with them. It's totally normal, happens in almost every friendship blah blah") She's currently really pushing the Matty/ Taylor content because that's what people seem to be most interested in. (She also keeps posting about Joe walking around London, being jobless/ doing absolutely nothing...) Can't wait for that to change again...

Lmaooooo if they had an ounce of brains they’d know that’s not how Matty and George are. Broooo as Matty said, they’ve literally slept in each others laps. There’s no distance between them after 20 years. Those boys are family. Like in the best fuckin way. They’d die for each other, remember?

If you’re gonna make up lies about celebs at least do a quick google to see who they even are???? ffs

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dottores · 2 years

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I'm so glad you love hc's bc I will now be sending u them, unsolicited of course teehee. If you're annoyed by them please feel free to not post them promise I won't be butthurt LOL

but just thinking about the night after the party with the sugawara boys which consisted of y/n and the boys building a fort and falling asleep in it. mister ayato and miss yua find you guys in the morning but thinks it's so adorable that they leave you all alone (not without snapping a quick picture though). they're so happy that y/n is finally comfortable and no longer alone <3

now let's talk about the composition of this fort because structurally.. it's shit. it quite literally makes no sense how was it about to fit three whole growing teens and lets not forget ran's long ass limbs. so it really ended up being y/n splayed out over rin whos lying on his stomach and ran just being on top of both you like a blanket with collapsed pillows all around you. and all three of you may or may not be in matching pj's that you bought for their one month moving in gift. now were the possibly the the ugliest onsies in existence? (i'm talking like hammerhead shark onsies ugly). maybe. and they may have out grown them *just* a bit with all of your ankles being exposed and sleeves cut off at the forearm but they wouldn't have it any other way because you got it for them and it's the first thing you all have ever shared <3

bonus: your uncle might have stopped by to check on y/n and the boys (he would die before he revealed a soft spot for you all) and he may have also snapped a pic.. but not before ordering you all new matching pj's because that shit was ATROCIOUS.

ran definitely woke up first and looked down fondly at both of your drool covered faces and went right back to sleep and when everyone woke up a few hours later with a suspicious package that contained possibly even more horrendous matching pj's (think bananas in pyjamas) nobody said anything.. but still wore them the next night and tucked their old matching pj's in their closet and they all have them.. even now.

I WOULD NEVER BE ANNOYED BY THEM THEY ME SO HAPPY 😭😭😭 i want u guys to love them as much as i do sobs

OKAY NO BUT YOURE SO RIGHT SKKSJDJS THE MATCHING ONESIES HELP THATS SO CANON💀😭 and rindou and especially ran were both so reluctant to wear them at first but she was just so excited so they were like … fine ig 😐 but now they refuse to part from them 🥹 sobs the way they wear them even when they grow out of them i’m gonna cry they so would

AND THEM ALL SPLAYED OUT ON TOP OF EACH OTHER I SOB, no but you think they’d be so uncomfortable but 🥹🥹 they never slept better when they’re all near each other like that🥹🥹 it’s the most ran has ever been at ease tbh, her and rindou both curled up with him 🥹🥹 the uncle dropping in YES, cuz he’s rarely at the house penthouse so he figured “oh i suppose i should actually check up on them this time cuz of what happened” and he stops by and he’ll never admit it but 😞 it made him so happy seeing her like that w them, cuz he knows that she has no friends at school and had no one to talk to other than miss yua n mister ayato

JSKSJJSJS HIM GETTING THEM EVEN UGLIER ONESIES HE SO WOULD LMAOOOOO and it’s so on purpose too because he knows yn will love it and they’ll feel obligated to wear them too when they see how excited she is

i’m so soft for them i’m gonna throw up

#my asks #series: little dark age

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justasadboi · 19 days

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Told my job today that Monday will be my last day cause we’re moving cause all the fuck shit happening in the house and like he was lowkey sad about it like I told him I was moving but it wasn’t supposed to be like rn. Like I also had to use all my sick hours because I have to take the rest of the week off after Monday and then I had to call my mom to make her tell me to eat because I like was just gonna walk outside and hit my vape for a half hour and call it a day. Like I ate breakfast (technically lunch cause those bitches stopped serving breakfast) but I didn’t finish it and I know I gotta eat more. I think I have some like health issues and like vaping and not eating is making it fucking unbearable. And then I had to sit at the bus stop for a goddamn like hour and half and I was like tweakin out and this lady looked at me and was like are you okay mama and I was like yeah and she just looked at me and like I could tell she thought I was on drugs but like sadly I’m just being me bitch. But then she like waved at me once her bus passes me so it was cute or whatever. And I also saw this man bus driver who was like wayyy too cute to be a bus driver like go be a model sir ur bone structure is sick. And when the bus finally got there it still took like years off my life and it was like wtf I just wanna not be anywhere near my job anymore. I’m like freaking out inside because I don’t wanna be the new person at work again like that just happened like twice since we’ve moved and I can’t deallllllllll. But like I need money and my bf is like don’t make an onlyfans so I can’t make money off my good looks so like whatever. I wanna start school again but like I feel way too fucjing dumb for that shit. I need to get insurance but I need a new id first so it’s like a big list of tasks ahead of my that I just can’t handle even thinking abo it rn. So imma just eat my cold ass dinner and then start packing away my things and just like maybe try and sleep because for like a week since my bf stopped smoking weed he hasn’t slept so I haven’t really slept and I’m tryna be helpful with that but like dawg I can’t help me so idk how to help anyone else. Like wanna just kill myself and then he can like go find someone way more helpful that actually helps him in a way I can’t. We all want an actual boy in our lives. Like shit I don’t blame him I wish I was a boy cause I’d be like better but I’d also be the biggest man slut alive so like maybe that why I’m not a boy lmaooooo

#bpd #it’s been a long couple of days #but I go see my mom soon #so like that’s exciting #but also not cause imma lose my shit #but like if I don’t lose my shit then I can’t gain it again ya know #is that how that works #idrk #but it’s okay it’s gonna get handle and I’ll get handled and everything g will be fine #or I’ll just die but either way works for me

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