#living in texas is an exercise in frustration
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If you don’t live in Texas it’s probably easy to forget that our state department of family and protective services is still under a directive from our fucking evil state officials to treat trans affirming parents as abusers.
It’s so vile. I have friends who work for other state departments who just told me at someone’s bday last weekend that TDFPS is a dumpster fire of horrific proportions.
#transphobia#violence#abuse#child abuse#living in texas is an exercise in frustration#death#child death cw
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god our fucking testosterone.
#to steal a tag from @what-bigots-post#living in texas is an exercise in frustration#can't wait until the precedent with preep is cited to make it so no one covers hrt anymore either
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How to Unstick Your Camp NaNoWriMo Project
Every year, we’re lucky to have great sponsors for our nonprofit events. ProWritingAid, a 2023 NaNo sponsor, helps you turn your rough first draft into a clean, clear, publish-ready manuscript. Today, author Krystal N. Craiker shares some tips on how to push through to the end of your writing project when you’re feeling stuck:
Camp NaNo is the ultimate test of your creativity. You push your writing skills and habits to a new level.
It’s inevitable that at some point this month—or any time when you’re writing a novel—you’re going to get stuck.
You’ll run into a plot conundrum, or you’ll feel creatively drained. You’ll stare at the page and have no clue what to write next.
It happens to all of us, so don’t worry. Here are some of my favorite ways to get my stories unstuck and my creativity flowing once again.
1. Go Outside
Writing is an isolating process, and writers are notorious for losing hours of the day to the computer screen. But when you’re stuck in a rut, staring at the page stressed out doesn’t make things better.
Get up. Go get a drink of water. Then go outside. What you do next doesn’t matter. You can get some exercise in or drive to the coffee shop. Birdwatch, play with the kids, splash in some puddles—you get the idea.
A little movement and some sunshine will help you feel refreshed when you sit back down at the computer.
2. Brain Dump
This is my tried and true method for NaNoWriMo. When I reach a point in my novel that I don’t know what to write (or just don’t want to write), I insert a random brain dump.
I’ll write what I’m feeling about this scene and type out what I think the issue is. Sometimes, it’s just a bulleted list and others it’s a stream-of-consciousness flow. Here’s an example:
“I don’t know what to write here. I was going to kill off that character but didn’t. Somehow I need to get to X plot point from here. How do I do that? This is so frustrating. Now that I didn’t kill them off, I need a good reason for them to stay in the story. What are their motivations?”
If that’s all you write during a writing session, that’s okay. You were still working on your novel, so it still counts.
3. Use AI
It’s the first NaNo event since Chat GPT opened to the public and countless AI tools are popping up. AI can be a great way to brainstorm and spark inspiration.
As writers, we often get hung up on finding the perfect way to say something. But you don’t need to let one sentence slow down your writing flow.
Rephrase by ProWritingAid is a brand-new feature meant for writers like you. You can highlight any sentence, click Rephrase, and generate a new sentence. Shorten or lengthen a sentence, change the tone to formal or informal, or add sensory detail.
Here’s a boring sentence I wrote: “Quinn entered the dark and cold forest.”
And here’s a sentence Rephrase gave me: “Quinn shivered as he stepped into the cold, dark forest, the air thick with the scent of damp earth.”
I can build off that! Now I’m more excited to write this scene that was feeling bland.
Sign up for ProWritingAid to get access to Rephrase and more than 20 in-depth writing reports.
4. Keep Going
Whatever you do, don’t give up! Getting stuck is part of the process. When you hit that creative wall, give one of these methods a try.
Your story still wants to be written, so keep writing.
Krystal N. Craiker is the Writing Pirate, an indie romance author and content writer who sails the seven internet seas, breaking tropes and bending genres. She has a background in anthropology and education, which bring fresh perspectives to her romance novels. When she’s not daydreaming about her next book or article, you can find her cooking gourmet gluten-free cuisine, laughing at memes, and playing board games. Krystal lives in Dallas, Texas with her husband, child, and two dogs.
Top photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash
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sizzling hot take but when people complain about politicians changing what they believe and vote for based on pressure from their constituents that's...actually what's supposed to happen in a representative democracy?
imo, to make the most democratic argument, your representative should be an amorphous blob that calculates what the voters want and try to get it. if they are voting their OWN conscience and opinions that's great if their constituents agree with them, but if they don't, it's incredibly frustrating (I lived in Texas, I've wasted many a phone call yelling at Ted Cruz's voicemail knowing full well it was pointless).
honestly the right understands this very well. it doesnt matter if the amorphous blob du jour is a pedophile, rapist, cheater, corrupt son of a bitch. nothing will make them not vote for him because he has an R next to his name, and he'll vote for all the things the right wants, like hurting people of color, women, queer people, trans people, gutting public schools, banning books, destroying the environment for fun and profit, etc.
i don't think a candidate's principles shouldn't matter, per se, but i do think we underestimate how much power voters have when they show up. i truly believe even vile vomit sack ted cruz could read the room if there was 100% voter turnout from ages 18-35 and he would have to change his positions or fear getting kicked the fuck out. if there was 100% voter turnout from ages 18-35 you'd better believe some candidates would start promising things like universal basic income and prison abolition.
idk im feeling afraid that our democracy is going to disappear before many of you have really taken advantage of it. dont take it for granted. its AMAZING that congresspeople are afraid of getting voted out and start backpedaling on shit. that is DEMOCRACY'S POWER. it's just that only garbage people are exercising it right now.
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I did it. I clocked out for the last time. My husband brought us food. Boss brought donuts and a coworker made sure I was well equipped for the Tennessee game today.
Very bittersweet. I've gotten really sad and guilty about it and then there was one tiny thing that happened that was a gentle reminder of "oh yeah, this is why I was excited to go". So maybe one day in the future, I can rant out my frustrations but theres nowhere private online.
I do not particularly mind moving. I do after a while get an urge to pick up and move especially if a place is getting too familiar. I kind of look forward to that awkward sensation of moving to a new place. New states/towns/cities smell weird and feel weird and its interesting how your brain takes in everything new and then 2 years down the road you realize how your brain took everything in wrong and backwards. What I really really want from this move though is just activity. I am hoping to do like 2 days of indoor rock climbing/bouldering and a day of yoga each week. I have high hopes that these things are going to be easily accessible. Thats what I'm really missing out on currently. 2020 certainly didn't help things. I hate feeling like I cant get the exercise that I want. I feel sedentary and icky. Of course the other thing is too that towns seem to grow as soon as I move away from them. I go back to my moms house every once in a while and get so jealous at all her amenities I didn't have when I lived there. So anywho..
the one thing that I will miss about my job is I'll probably never find another nursing job with such freedom and flexibility of hours. I never had a shift. I legit came in when I knew it was going to be busy and beneficial for me to be there and then I left when things got boring. So some days I could work 5a-11a. The other day I was there from 10am-10pm. But not having a clock to look at where I was like "oh, only 5 more hours of my shift" does amazing things for your mental health. If I had an appointment I needed to go to, its kinda a douchey thing to duck out on your coworkers when its busy, but I could if I wanted to. Never gonna get that ever again.
also just being new. I hate being in orientation. I legit just want to get hired and know everything already.
but I dunno we will see how it goes. I have a week left with furniture. I'll probably procrastinate but the plan is to start digging through our stuff and tossing garbage and donating other garbage. I need to get rid of a lot of clothes. Empty my junk drawers. Put some of my collectibles back in boxes. Then we go to moms for thanksgiving and then onwards to Texas.
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"House lawmakers in both parties joined forces Saturday to send a massive package of foreign aid to the Senate, ending a long and bitter stalemate over the fate of the legislation and all but ensuring the delivery of billions of dollars in new help to embattled allies across the globe.
The rare weekend votes were the culmination of months of fierce debate within the House GOP conference over how — or even if — Congress should step in with another round of military help for Ukraine, Israel and Taiwan while providing humanitarian aid for civilian victims in Gaza and other war-torn regions around the globe.
The debate had split House Republicans into warring factions, pitting Reagan-minded traditionalists — who support strong interventions overseas to counter the imperial designs of Russia and China — against a newer brand of “America First” conservative who fought to limit the foreign spending and focus instead on domestic problems, particularly the migrant crisis at the southern border.
In the end, Speaker Mike Johnson (R-La.) defied his conservative critics, pushing to the floor a series of four bills providing the overseas assistance but detaching those funds from a separate border security bill, which failed on the floor during Saturday’s votes. He framed the aid as a simple, but crucial, continuation of America’s responsibility to democratic allies under siege from despots.
“I think providing lethal aid to Ukraine right now is critically important,” Johnson said this week. “I really do believe the intel and the briefings that we’ve gotten. I believe Xi and Vladimir Putin and Iran really are an axis of evil.”
“To put it bluntly, I would rather send bullets to Ukraine than American boys,” he added. “My son is gonna begin in the Naval Academy this fall, this is a live-fire exercise for me as it is so many American families. This is not a game. It’s not a joke. We can’t play politics with this, we have to do the right thing.”
Rep. Mike McCaul (R-Texas) said Johnson had reached the decision to charge ahead by a method that’s become routine for the devoutly evangelical Speaker: he turned to prayer.
“I think he was torn between trying to save his job and doing the right thing,” said McCaul, the chairman of the Foreign Affairs Committee who has pushed for months for more Ukraine aid.
“We’ve told him what’s at stake here, and you want to be on the right side of history. And he’s a man of faith. He doesn’t wear it on his sleeve, but he, obviously, the night before he made a decision, reached out for guidance, and the next day he made the call.”
Passage of the foreign aid bills marked a moral victory for the inexperienced Speaker, who took the gavel less than six months ago. The package — passed with four separate votes — includes roughly $61 billion for Ukraine, $26 billion for Israel, $8 billion for allies in the Indo-Pacific, and a package of additional national security measures that features a potential ban on the uber-popular TikTok app.
But it’s come with political risks, provoking conservatives who were already furious with his penchant for reaching across the aisle to seal deals with President Biden on major legislation opposed by the Speaker’s right flank, including bills to fund the federal government and extend the spying powers of Washington’s intelligence agencies.
Those mounting frustrations have spurred a pale — but not powerless — effort to remove Johnson from the top job, which has gained steam in recent days as the Speaker made steps toward sending aid overseas. Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-Ga.) filed a motion to vacate late last month, which Reps. Thomas Massie (R-Ky.) and Paul Gosar (R-Ariz.) endorsed this week.
Greene has not yet said when she plans to force a vote on her ouster resolution, and her path forward was muddied last week after former President Trump endorsed Johnson’s leadership — dealing a blow to the Georgia Republican, who considers Trump a close ally.
Still, even some of Johnson’s allies are bracing for the possibility that Greene might pull the trigger."
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When Is it Time to Renovate Your Rental Property?
You’re a rental property owner constantly seeking ways to maximize revenue. So, how do you tell if your property needs renovations? Spotting signs early can save on hefty maintenance costs later. Recognizing these key indicators lets you know when it’s time for some major home improvements before the next tenants move in.
Assessing Property Condition
When contemplating the perfect moment to spruce up your rental property, a key stage involves assessing its condition. Your major focus should be on areas that grab immediate attention, such as floors and walls. A fresh coat of paint can breathe new life into any space, creating positive first impressions for potential tenants. Likewise, ensure clean flooring without noticeable defects or worn-out patches if you have carpeting.
Consider shifting towards low-maintenance hard surfaces, which also offer an updated look to your home. Do appreciate that age isn’t merely about numbers; it shows! Old kitchen appliances may need replacement, along with outdated plastic blinds prone to falling off, leading both present and future residents to be frustrated by malfunctions in everyday use items.
Consider renovating certain elements of the house before listing it for rent. This has the potential to bring in better-quality tenants and reduce the time the house remains unoccupied. Higher-quality tenants are more likely to be willing to pay higher rent.
Gauging Usage and Appeal
You want a rental property that works for you, not the other way around. A remodel can be just the solution if the upkeep feels like it’s never-ending or your expenses are straining your profit margins. Up-to-date appliances and features not only lessen maintenance needs but also cut back on costs in many cases.
Of course, renovations aren’t solely about reducing headaches; they also lure higher-quality tenants into signing leases with you. Primed to pay punctually and take good care of where they live, these ideal renters appreciate optimized spaces equipped with amenities such as washers/dryers or friendly setups for their pets, essentially making them stick around longer.
Boosting appeal directly leads to increased value, a powerful incentive for any landlord. These landlords may look forward to an upward rent adjustment after improvements have been made, or their strategy could include building up more property investments in time.
Deciding on Changes to Make
Prioritize upgrades that are immediately noticeable upon inspection, but avoid personal bias influencing your choices. Focus on improving livability for potential tenants. It is important to understand market demands to know what changes to implement. For example, if properties with extra bedrooms are more popular amongst renters in the Dallas, Texas, area, investing in this would be beneficial.
Remember, not all improvements require drastic modification; upgrading dated fixtures or adding a fresh coat of paint can enhance visual appeal without breaking the bank. Undertaking expensive infrastructure modifications might drain resources if there’s an insufficient tenant pool at current times.
Balancing renovation expenses against viable rent increments and occupancy rates helps prevent unnecessary financial strain during slow periods. Before committing to refurbishments, though, plan carefully considering capital requirements vs.
Profitability enhancement objectives from such exercises. That way, one avoids getting shocked by unanticipated outflows when settling bills later while ensuring project viability up-front. Remember, ultimately, it’s about sensible asset management, not just aesthetics-improvement blindly!
Calculating Cost of Renovations
Remember to make a detailed cost estimate. The projected rent increase or the return from selling your upgraded property are key indicators here. Don’t proceed unless these figures justify your investment in revamping.
Be aware that tax benefits favor repairs over full-scale renovations for landlords. Immediate deductions are typically available if it’s just minor fixes, while major upgrades need time-bound amortization. To optimize costs when renovating fixtures such as floors and cabinets, consider refurbishing over replacing entire units whenever practical.
Remember, stock cupboards fall within $80-400 per unit compared to custom ones that set you back by $500-1500 each! Again, before changing household systems like heating or air conditioning, evaluate their remaining lifespan versus replacement expenditure along with potential long-term savings through improved energy efficiency.
In essence, identify which areas would give maximum returns post-renovation without necessarily opting for bigger changes.
Considering Maintenance Costs Post-Renovation
Reflect on the post-renovation phase, where maintenance costs come into play. Don’t you want this property to stay in top shape? Take a moment to forecast future upkeep expenses based on current modifications made.
Identify items that are likely often replaced or repaired due to wear and tear. Remember your lovely hardwood floors installed recently? Although they’re durable, caring for them involves cost, too!
Regular cleaning with specific products ensures their longevity but adds up over time. Also, think of newly fitted state-of-the-art appliances like stainless steel oven ranges and refrigerators. These additions are not free from potential breakdowns either. This means there could be repair service fees down the line if something goes wrong.
Exploring Funding Options
Understanding your funding options remains pivotal to any renovation process. One noteworthy option includes traditional bank loans, which often present lower interest rates but might require a substantial down payment.
Another viable alternative could be home equity lines of credit (HELOC). This would involve leveraging the existing value of your property for needed funds. Alternatively, you could consider private investors or hard money lenders. These usually offer convenient short-term financing options with less rigid qualification requirements. However, it is important to note that they generally have higher interest rates.
Exploring federal programs like FHA 203k Rehabilitation Loans can also prove beneficial as these loans are specifically designed for property improvements and repairs. Government-sponsored initiatives often have the benefit of offering accessible terms and affordable repayment schemes. Therefore, it is worth considering these options.
Consider each of these alternatives carefully before deciding on the most suitable one that matches your financial capacity and anticipated project course, as well-planned renovations should yield fruitful returns without causing undue finance-related stressors.
Restoring your property can upgrade its appeal, boost tenant satisfaction, and help you justify higher rents. Remember, at Local Dwelling, we’re here to assist you in maximizing the potential of your real estate investments in Dallas, Texas.
Credits: https://localdwelling.com/when-is-it-time-to-renovate-your-rental-property/
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Living With Pediatric Rheumatology: Coping Strategies For Children And Parents
Pediatric Rheumatology refers to the branch of medicine that deals with the diagnosis and treatment of rheumatic diseases in children. These conditions can have a significant impact on the lives of children and their families, requiring them to adopt coping strategies to manage the challenges they face. In this article, we will explore some effective coping strategies for children and parents living with Pediatric Rheumatology, particularly in the context of Rheumatology Texas and the assistance provided by Rheumatology Specialists.
One of the most crucial coping strategies for children with Pediatric Rheumatology is education and knowledge. Understanding their condition and treatment options empowers children to actively participate in their care and make informed decisions. Rheumatology Specialists play a vital role in this aspect, as they provide accurate information and answer any questions children may have. Additionally, these specialists work closely with families, offering guidance and support throughout the treatment process.
Another key coping strategy is fostering a strong support network. It is essential for parents to connect with other families who are going through similar experiences. Support groups, both online and offline, provide an avenue for sharing experiences, exchanging advice, and finding emotional support. Rheumatology Texas often organizes support groups where families can meet and discuss their challenges, thereby creating a sense of belonging and understanding.
Maintaining a healthy lifestyle is equally important. Regular exercise, as recommended by Rheumatology Specialists, can help manage symptoms and improve overall well-being. However, it is crucial to find activities that are suitable for the child's condition and abilities. Physical therapy programs tailored to Pediatric Rheumatology patients are available at various Rheumatology Texas clinics, helping children develop strength, flexibility, and coordination while managing their symptoms.
Psychological well-being should not be overlooked, as Pediatric Rheumatology can lead to emotional challenges. Children may experience anxiety, depression, or frustration due to their condition. In such cases, counseling and therapy can be immensely beneficial. Rheumatology Specialists often collaborate with mental health professionals to provide comprehensive care, addressing the emotional and psychological aspects of the condition.
Parents also need coping strategies to support their children effectively. It is crucial for parents to take care of themselves physically and emotionally. Seeking support from friends, family, or professionals can help alleviate the stress associated with managing a child's chronic illness. Parents should also communicate openly with their children about their condition, treatment, and any concerns they may have.
Lastly, maintaining a positive outlook is essential. Pediatric Rheumatology can present ongoing challenges, but focusing on the child's strengths and achievements can help foster resilience and a sense of hope. Celebrating milestones, encouraging hobbies, and promoting self-expression can go a long way towards boosting a child's self-esteem and motivation.
In conclusion, living with Pediatric Rheumatology requires children and parents to adopt coping strategies that address the physical, emotional, and psychological aspects of the condition. Rheumatology Specialists in Texas provide valuable guidance and support to families, empowering them to make informed decisions and actively participate in their child's care. By implementing effective coping strategies, children and parents can navigate the challenges of Pediatric Rheumatology while maintaining a good quality of life.
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5 Benefits of Physical Therapy for Sugar Land Residents
Introduction
If you're living in Sugar Land, Texas, there are many things to consider. The city's population is growing and so are the demands on its residents. But don't worry--we'll help you with that! Here are the benefits of physical therapy for Sugar Land residents:
Improves digestion
Physical therapy helps to improve digestion, which in turn improves your health and quality of life.
Physical therapists work directly with patients to improve the motility of their digestive tract. This can be done through exercises that increase flexibility and range-of-motion, or by helping you develop a stronger stomach muscles so they can push food through the intestines more easily.
The physical therapist also works with you on improving function by teaching techniques that help alleviate symptoms such as pain or discomfort while eating certain foods (such as spicy food), flatulence during meals, nausea after eating certain types of foods like dairy products and vegetables (which may have been difficult for some patients because these items were not being digested properly).
Improves mobility
Physical therapy can improve mobility, strength, flexibility and balance. It also helps patients maintain their posture and coordination. In short, physical therapy can help you get back to living a healthy life!
Regulates weight gain/loss
If you are looking to lose weight, physical therapy can help. Physical therapy can help balance your metabolism and increase the number of calories that you burn. This will lead to a loss in weight.
If you are looking to gain weight, physical therapy can also be beneficial because it increases muscle mass and bone density which can lead to an increase in muscle size and strength.
With physical therapy, patients have been able to maintain their current body weight as well as lose some pounds while gaining muscle mass at the same time!
Reduces pain
Physical therapy can help you reduce pain in the following areas:
Back, neck and shoulders
Legs
Arms
Decreases stress levels
As a Sugar Land resident, you know that stress is a big factor in your life. It can be caused by anger, frustration and guilt. Stressors include work deadlines, family conflicts and lack of sleep.
Physical therapy helps reduce stress levels by increasing muscle strength and flexibility through physical activity such as stretching exercises or resistance training (such as using dumbbells). Physical therapy also improves your body's ability to relax after exercise with techniques such as yoga or meditation classes offered at most health clubs in the area.
Physical therapy provides benefits beyond the obvious ones.
Physical therapy can help with many conditions.
For example, physical therapy may be beneficial for people who have weak or tight muscles and tendons in their lower back because this area has been neglected by most other forms of exercise. If you've ever had a bicycle accident, then it's likely that your pelvis was injured in the process—and if that injury is still causing pain today (or even years later), physical therapists will be able to help you recover faster than any other form of rehabilitation.
Physical therapists also have access to devices like ultrasound machines which allow them to examine internal organs without having surgery done first! And while some people might think they're too busy doing their own thing when they go into these types of places looking for help with something specific on their body... sometimes what actually ends up happening is just as good - maybe even better!
Conclusion
If you’re suffering from pain in your back or hips, consider physical therapy. Physical therapists are trained to help you regain function and reduce your pain so you can live your best life.
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Blackest Buses in America to Stop in 12 States This Fall as Part of National 'We Won't Black Down' Campaign
Black Voters Matter, one of the nation’s leading voting rights organizations, announced its plans to mobilize Black voters as part of its “Blackest Bus in America” fall bus tour.
This year’s campaign and tour titled “We Won’t Black Down” will make stops throughout the region leading up to the general election on Nov. 8 and will engage with Black voters, policymakers, faith-based leaders, Black influencers, and HBCU students. At this moment, we’re seeing a rise in white supremacy, political division, and the weaponizing of race. We are standing firmly in Black social movements and standing firmly in our birthright. We deserve a strong and inclusive democracy, and we won’t back down. We won’t Black down.
Coinciding with National Black Voters Day on Sept. 16, this GOTV campaign is designed to raise awareness on issues impacting local Black communities, engage in on the ground GOTV mobilization efforts, particularly around local and state elections, and build community power through the celebration of Black love and joy. The tour will include multiple activations that reflect BVM’s vast programming and partnership network, including the Florida coalition campaign “We Draw the Lines,” which seeks to draw attention to gerrymandering underway in the state; BVM’s Take the Field Initiative focuses on GOTV efforts on local HBCU campuses; and various partnerships, including BET, The African Methodist Episcopal Church (AME) and National Pan-Hellenic Council (Divine Nine); among others.
“While voting is always an exercise in using our power, we know this year that our safety, our health, our freedom is also on the ballot,” said Cliff Albright, co-founder of Black Voters Matter.
“Racist practices and policies that attempt to subvert our democracy directly stem from the far right’s fear of Black voters’ power. And right-wing leaders have a long track record of devaluing Black lives and placing power and their own agenda over the health and well-being of our people. Our campaign is meant to shine a light on issues that matter to Black voters, but also to expose the far-right’s intentional strategy to undermine freedom and progress.”
“From the criminalization of abortion to the water crises in my hometown state of Alabama, and Mississippi, Black people have always bore the brunt of racism in this country. But we will not let them kill us,” said LaTosha Brown, co-founder of Black Voters Matter.
“We will not let them systematically take our right to freedom away. And we will not allow a culture of fear, intimidation and frustration hinder us from showing up and turning out this November. Local and state elections are pivotal to protecting our rights. This fall, BVM will take to the road to do what we have always done – educate, mobilize and build power with our communities because we know that when we show up, we win.”
The tour will collaborate with several of BVM’s local and state partners to host rallies, educational events and canvassing across 12 key states, including Louisiana, Alabama, Florida, Georgia, Kentucky, Michigan, Missouri, North Carolina, Ohio, Pennsylvania, Texas, and Wisconsin.
Black Voters Matter will be updating its website with new bus stops over the next several weeks. A schedule of initial stops is provided below. For the latest information as well as locations, please visit BVM’s website.
Florida
– Sept. 14: “We Draw the Lines” Congressional District 14 (Tampa).
– Oct. 13-16: Tampa/St. Petersburg, Daytona Beach, Sanford, Orlando.
Georgia
– Sept. 16: Albany State University.
– Sept. 17: Fort Valley State.
– Sept. 18: Americus and Cordelle, Georgia.
– Sept. 19: Savannah State University.
– Sept. 19: Griffin, Georgia.
– Sept. 20: Trees Atlanta.
North Carolina
– Sept. 26-30: Charlotte, Salisbury, Winston Salem, Greensboro, Durham, Raleigh, Fayetteville, Elizabeth City.
Texas
– Sept.24-27: Central Texas.
– Oct. 5-8: East Texas.
To learn more about the tour, visit https://blackvotersmatterfund.org/we-wont-black-down/.
#Black Voters Matter#Black Voters Matter Bus Tour 2022#Blackest Buses in America to Stop in 12 States This Fall as Part of National 'We Won't Black Down' Campaign#Black Votes#Black Voter Education#voting rights in america#LaTosha Brown
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From Instagram
#just as expected#FUCKING HELL#homophobia#discrimination#living in Texas is an exercise in frustration#frustration being a massive understatement#us politics#SCOTUS#this is your fucking fault scotus
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5 Common Fertility Myths Debunked
When it comes to infertility, there are a lot of misconceptions and myths floating around. No matter what aspect of TTC you look at, there is at least one myth associated. These bits of misinformation can cause those with infertility feel isolated, frustrated, and can even discourage them from getting the help they need to conceive once they need it. As part of Infertility Awareness Month, we’re speaking out to raise awareness and dispel myths surrounding this disease that impacts 1 in 8 couples over the course of their life.
Below, the team at SIRM Dallas fertility center in Dallas, Texas discuss five common fertility myths and the truth behind them.
1. Infertility is a Woman’s Problem
When a couple has been trying to conceive without success, it is often assumed that the woman is the cause of the issue. But infertility doesn’t discriminate – the cause of infertility often falls equally on men and women. In roughly 40% of cases, the cause is due to female factors, while in another 40% of cases it’s due to male factors. The final 20% of cases are due to either both male and female factors, or are unexplained.
2. If You Live a Healthy Lifestyle, You’ll be Fertile Into Your 40s
For women, age is the biggest factor when determining their fertility. At age 35, a woman’s fertility begins to sharply decline due to diminishing ovarian reserve and decreases in egg quality. By age 40, a woman has only a 5% chance of conceiving each month. While living a healthy lifestyle (exercising, avoiding tobacco and alcohol, and eating a healthy diet) can decrease your chances of creating an additional negative impact on your fertility, it will not counteract the impact of your age.
3. Birth Control Negatively Impacts Fertility
No matter what you’ve heard, birth control does not have a negative impact on fertility. While women who have been on birth control can experience a delay in resuming ovulation and menses if they’ve been on the pill for years, birth control pills do not cause infertility. Instead, the regularity that pills provide – a predictable cycle and period, along with a decrease in menstrual pain – can mask underlying fertility issues.
4. I Already Have a Child, So I’ll Easily Be Able to Conceive Again
You’ve already had your first child, so getting pregnant a second time should be a breeze, right? Not necessarily. Secondary infertility, considered the inability to achieve or maintain a pregnancy after already having a child, impacts over a million couples. This can be due to increased maternal age (if you last got pregnant at 34, and now you’re 38, you’re chances of conceiving each month has dropped), impaired sperm production (men also see a decline in fertility around age 40), or other changes in your overall or reproductive health. Even if you’ve already had a child, if you’ve been trying to conceive for a year without success – or six months if you’re 35 or older – you may need to see an infertility specialist.
5. IVF is the Only Treatment if You’re Infertile
Even though IVF is one of the most well-known fertility treatments, it is definitely not the most common. Only 3% of infertile couples require advanced reproductive technologies like IVF to conceive. For the majority of patients, surgical procedures and fertility medications can help them achieve the family of their dreams.
Let’s not allow the misinformation surrounding infertility keep those who struggle with the disease from feeling the support and understanding they need as they strive to build their families. Instead, let us spread awareness so they know that they are not alone, and that there are options available to them. If you have questions about a fertility myth, or if you have been trying to conceive without success, contact our team of fertility experts at SIRM Dallas Fertility Clinic at 972-566-6686 today.
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Just a Human (S.R.)
Type: mini-series turned one-shot, SHIELD recruit!reader
Pairing: Steve Rogers x reader Word count: 8750
Summary:
Being a SHIELD recruit was a dream come true, especially with people like Sergeant Barnes or Captain Rogers offering an input to your class’ training.
It was also hard work for many different reasons. One of them being all those guys around; not all of them were exactly fit to become heroes, simply because they were not good people.
Maybe you shouldn’t have pointed it out so openly though. Then again, what would the world turn into if you kept your mouth shut when feeling like speaking up?
WARNINGS: so-so graphic description of assault almost turned sexual, violence and a bit of blood, boys being boys in a real bad way, language
A/N: Steve Rogers vs assholes, round 2. Also, ‘you’ vs. assholes. And Bucky in the mix.
A/N: This was originally posted as a miniseries on AO3, but now edited, I decided to thrown it in as a long, sort-of three part one-shot. Enjoy and mind the warnings.
(gif source dailymcugifs, divider by firefly-graphics)
A Handful of Spite
“Can you believe the fucking nerve on him?!” Henry hissed, punching the bag harder and catching your attention. The statement was followed by his companion nodding grimly.
You tried to ignore the walking testosterone jerks; you never liked either Henry or Jim. The reason was simple – they were, as you loved to remind people, an advertisement on toxic masculinity. Bullies on top of that. The kind of people you wanted to avoid at all costs.
You weren’t that lucky to have that chance though.
So instead, you scoffed under your breath and continued your sit-ups series. You had more important things to do than wonder about what they were talking about this time.
It was your regular training session with the other SHIELD recruits led by Sergeant Barnes – which--- oh my. When joining the academy, you had no clue that the director’s ‘you’ll be learning from the best’ meant that of all things; trained by the more-than-once-believed-late James Buchanan Barnes. Everyone here knew his story – or at least some of it. The brainwashing. The murders. His heroics to make up for them as much as he could. His everlasting friendship and a nickname that was tied to it. Bucky; the very best friend of the oh-so-praised Captain America.
Oh, speaking of which, he joined the sessions too. You were being trained by not one, but two supersoldiers slash war heroes. You couldn’t believe this was your life sometimes, but you were not one to dwell on it. You just accepted it as a fact. An abso-fucking-lutely incredible fact.
“He’s just a fucker, man. Forget about Barnes, you have Cassie in your pocket. Just ‘cause he’s all sticky sweet on her doesn’t mean she’ll suck his-“
You made a disgusting face, pushing harder to tune out the conversation. You wanted to gag and at the same time, your blood was boiling.
Could there be a jerk who was objectifying women more than Jim? A guy who was using his lower brain more frequently than him? Doubtful. You really wanted to throw up at rubbish that was leaving his mouth.
Not to mention that he was throwing dirt on Sergeant Barnes who absolutely didn’t deserve it.
“-he’s like that to all of them. The chicks. And they fucking dig him, it’s disgusting. He makes the poor brainwashed kicked puppy face, reminding the sob story of his and they’re all dropping to their knees I swear…” Jim continued, practically spitting the venomous words.
You squeezed your eyes shut, half furious and half guilty; the sergeant did have a heart-breaking backstory and many girls were making eyes on him, their hearts softened by the tragedy and his bravery, yes. And you couldn’t say it wasn’t moving you as well, filling you with compassion – but compassion only. Obviously, Sergeant Barnes was objectively a very attractive man too, but what they were saying… ugh.
He didn’t deserve these insults; he was not trying anything on anyone, he wasn’t offering his ‘sob story’, actually being rather secretive about it for obvious and no doubt painful reasons. He couldn’t really couldn’t be blamed for the girls fawning over him a bit more because of it, could he? What was he supposed to do? Stop breathing? Stop doing what he chose to be his job?
It wasn’t his problem – and thank god for that – that these two assholes had egos the size of Texas and couldn’t handle a little competition.
Seriously. Walking testosterone-filled jerks. You seriously considered moving from the station you had been given, eyeing Captain Rogers, checking if he would notice.
“Well, he’s not. Getting. Any. From. My. Chick. Asshole!”
The bag swung wildly under Henry’s blows despite Jim holding it. You laid off, taking your fifteen second break.
“I bet he’s fucking them all on side. Always so… so soft on them. I bet he’s leaving all the hard shit for bed,” Jim snorted, somewhere between angry at him competition and amused at his own crude joke.
You were gonna puke. You were sure of it.
“And he’s too hard on us. Showing off for them. I would fucking want to see him holding up against us without that metal arm-“
You had enough. You sat up sharply, panting, your face flushed, unsure whether it was from the exercise or the exchange you were listening to.
“Are you serious?!” you hissed their way, earning their shocked glances.
And then, Jim’s face twisted in annoyance and disgust.
“Oh geez, you’re one of them, aren’t you?” he snarked, rolling his eyes. “The fangirls.”
More heat burned in your cheeks. You weren’t kidding anyone; both the sergeant and the captain had showed up in your not so innocent dreams, but you were only human, alright. There was only so much time you could spend with two very fine men like them in one room, a bit sweaty and rough (or just slightly gentler with the ladies) until your brain reacted. Mostly to the captain. Not the point.
But actually crossing the line? Being a part of the thing they were describing if it ever existed? Waiting in the line until one of them picked you for the evening with a promise to do it again after they… Jesus what, tried all the others? No, thank you. You had some dignity left.
Also, you simply couldn’t imagine them doing such thing. Raised in a different era, tried by war and pain and lost, yet remaining the great men they were? Just nope.
“No! Jesus, are you even listening to yourself?” you hissed, minding your volume. You hoped that the low hum of voice in the room, of others working out, giving each other pointers and the noise of the machines would offer you a cover from the rest of your companion.
“What, you wanna tell me they’re not going easy on you? On any chick, really?”
“Yeah, well, maybe because they don’t actually want to break our bones during training. Supersoldiers. Superstrength. Does that ring a bell?” you pointed out, reaching for your water bottle, hoping either of your trainers would forgive you when seeing you only took a sec to have a sip.
Henry scoffed, leaning onto the bag. “Sounds like someone has a crush…”
You couldn’t help the motion of your hands, inconspicuously throwing them in the air in frustration.
Why were you even speaking to them? You should have kept your mouth shut!
“Oh go to hell, Ulrich! You’re just jealous and scared that your girl whom you treat like a piece of shit will run off,” you murmured, wiping your forehead off sweat.
“Yeah, because they’re sure pulling their punches with guys too,” Jim complained again, rolling his eyes as Henry now watched you, eyes narrowed in anger – oh you hit a nail on the head, alright.
You couldn’t but mirror Jim’s action, deciding to stick to Devil’s advocate, because…. yeah, because it wasn’t fair to either Rogers or Barnes. They were good people and didn’t deserve this.
���So they’re not beating the shit out of us like they do with you, get over it.”
“They’re humiliating us! Showing off their big muscles, trying to impress all the chicks-“
You chuckled incredulously as they actually admitted the real reason behind their bitching so openly; as if you hadn’t known the whole time. Ego. Ohhh, the ego was bruised. Call 911, CPR is gonna be needed! God, how did they even live with ego this big? Compensating for something?
“They’re doing their job. Training. Yes, they go a bit harder on you, because your physiology can take it. Did it ever occur to you that they have bigger problems than entering a pissing contest with you just so they could steal the girls? Jeez… just… maybe try to be less of assholes and the girls will be into you too… ”
You missed the hard look Henry gave you, laying down again, this time on your belly to work on your back.
You wheezed when a knee suddenly dug into your back, violently and painfully knocking the air out of your lungs. Before you could react, one of your arms was twisted behind your back, Henry’s voice raspy right into your ear, low and dangerous.
“Listen, you little bitch, you don’t get to talk to me like that. Understand? Huh?”
He was so proving your point, but you didn’t have the time You tried to breathe in properly, and free your arm while pushing up on the free one, your muscles burning with the effort. Shit, he was heavy. You wheezed again instead of the answer.
“Can’t hear you, sweetie. What was that?”
Peripherally, you could see heavy boots approaching rapidly, making a quick guess of who that could be. You gritted your teeth, tears of humiliation pricking your eyes. You were not about to give Henry the satisfaction of proving his point of your trainers being sweet on all the girls even if this so wasn’t that.
“Screw. You,” you let out with the last oxygen left, grabbing his left calf and sharply tugging to the very same side. A half-second later when his weight of you eased just a fraction, you threw your body to the left as well, adding a jerk of your legs.
Both of you rolled over, him ending up under you and you quickly spun away, gasping, desperately fighting for air. As it burned your windpipe, it was as painful as welcomed. Little spots danced inf ornt of your eyes, but you quickly blinked them away – luckily for you, Henry didn’t dare to attack you again.
You shook your head before pushing to sit up, only to meet with Captain Rogers’s strict gaze.
“What the hell is going on in here?” he demanded, sharp blue eyes flickering between the three of you.
Maybe you were hallucinating, but he seemed to be murdering Henry with his eyes. Uh-uh. You would have been glad he was, hadn’t Henry been talking about favouritism only few moments ago. You pushed up simultaneously with him and you both stood straight, facing the captain.
“Apologies, sir,” you stated mechanically, his gaze immediately shifting to you. Your heart stopped. Oh wow, you would swear the blue of his irises was on fire. You gulped. “We had a slight disagreement with Mr. Ulrich. I’m aware I shouldn’t have been talking to him in the first place. I’ll take whatever punishment is given to me.”
“Yeah, I bet you’d liked taking a punishment from him, wouldn’t you…” Jim muttered under his breath, making your gut twist in disgust.
Was he ever not thinking about sex? You prayed the captain didn’t hear him and you had to stop yourself from shooting Jim a murderous glare.
“I don’t think that’s necessary. Consider it a warning. Mr. Ulrich? You have something to add before you take a few laps?”
You could literally hear Henry’s blood boiling. You opened your mouth to ask for the same punishment, not wanting to have his point proved. You never got the chance to speak.
“No, sir. I only don’t understand why I’m the only one being punished,” Henry questioned innocently and you gritted your teeth.
Maybe because you attacked me, you dickhead?
Captain glared at him for a moment before his gaze shifted to Jim. “You’re not. Mr. Larkin is following your example.”
You pressed your lips together, this time to stop a smile threatening to spread on your lips. God, who knew America’s Golden Boy could get that sassy? You cleared your throat.
“If I might speak, sir, I deserve to run the laps as well,” you noted carefully, earning a curious expression from your superior. You could tell he wavered, a strange spark appearing in his eyes.
You desperately wanted him to let you run too even if you breathing was still a bit difficult; because otherwise Henry would be proved right. Yeah, nope.
“Very well, then. Ten laps around the gym, recruits. Then you move to the station free at the moment. Go. Don’t let it happen again.”
The three of you nodded dutifully and picked up a pace. For some reason, you could feel the captain’s eyes on you while he walked back to assisting his friend with hand-to-hand training. You glimpsed the sergeant leaning to him, probably asking what was that about, but the blond just shook his head.
Towards the eighth lap, you were being overpassed by Henry and Jim, who ran together; faster than you, whether you liked it or not.
“This isn’t over, bitch,” his hateful hiss reached your ears and you picked up speed stubbornly, not showing them that they might intimidate you even for a second.
They wished.
Even when leaving the room after the session was finished, you would swear there was a pair of blue eyes burning a hole to the back of your head. You hoped that you’d soon be free of the captain’s attention.
You sure didn’t want him to watch too closely. You didn’t need him behind your back to see mistakes you sometimes made just like anybody else. Also, it would be harder to admire and ogle him; you did that occasionally, okay. You were just a human, after all.
A Handful of Mistakes
Shauna, your roommate and bestie from science division of SHIELD, was very patient listening to your lament about guys being dicks; she was awesome like that.
So you vigorously vented your frustration with male population, rolled your eyes when mimicking the silent threat of ‘this not being over’, had a very unhealthy piece of cake at the cafeteria that afternoon and moved on.
You should have known better.
Henry’s words came haunting you few days later; which was too bad, because you had already forgotten about them, until the very moment they had punched you to the face.
…or rather to your shoulder and it wasn’t even a punch, more like one of those bumps people did, especially when they were being jerks, shoving you too hard for you to believe it was an accident.
“Sorry, didn’t see you there,” you threw over your shoulder sarcastically, continuing your way to the women’s locker room.
In hindsight, that was probably mistake number one; ignoring Henry and not starting a fight right there, not to mention being mouthy.
To be fair, you had no interest in further interaction; you were exhausted from the training, you were sticky and sweaty and all you craved was a shower. You would have just gone to have one at your dorm, but Shauna was having a hot date and you didn’t want to step on her toes. So you had taken your toiletries with you, using the showers near the gym.
Using the gym shower; mistake number two. It meant all of the students being gone by the time you emerged in fresh homey clothes, hair dripping water, because you hated hair-dryers and avoided them unless they were completely necessary.
You had spent much longer in the shower than needed, allowing your muscles to completely relax under the spray of water. That was mistake number three.
The fourth mistake was your pride. When you saw Henry, Jim, George (at least you thought, you weren’t sure, not having many classes with him) and Frank in the corridor, clearly waiting for you, since they bounced off the wall they had been resting against when you appeared, you should have probably been smarter and scream for help right away.
But no, you were being Miss Future Agent and you weren’t intimidated by four equivalents of high school jocks. Yep, this one was definitely the biggest mistake of yours.
“Fellas,” you beckoned to them, passing them gracefully, your bag over your shoulder along with the wet towel.
You barely made a few steps before a hand gripped your arm, harshly tugging you back. Your heart jumped into your throat, but you tried your best not to let it show. You turned to Henry, looking at his face, head tilted back just slightly due to his height.
“Is there a problem, Ulrich?” you asked calmly, earning a lift of his eyebrows at your tone.
“You know there is. I told you it was not over.”
You tried to ignore your pulse skyrocketing and the panic rising in your gut. You were not that stupid – you understood the implications. You knew that with four guys slowly circling you, you would have to fight bites and nails if it came to it and probably still lose. Sometimes it was just better to walk away and swallow your pride; a concept Henry and Jim clearly didn’t understand.
You jerked from Ulrich’s grip, still hoping you could walk away and call it day.
“It is over for me. Now if you’ll excuse me…“
Yes, you were being naïve thinking it would work.
The bag was torn away from your shoulder, your fingers automatically letting go to stay attached to your hand. You gritted your teeth, blood slowly reaching the boiling point.
Also, maybe you were more than just a bit afraid. Not that you would ever admit it to them.
Henry’s hand reached for your chin and your snatched it away in disgust before he could even make contact with your skin. Amusement dances in his eyes along with a flash of anger.
“Oh, kitty has claws?”
You felt another hand on your backside, sending a shudder up your spine, so you grabbed it, shoving it away as well.
Jim. Why weren’t you surprised? Pigs. What the fuck was their problem?
“I’ll let you know when I meet any. Now get out of my way,” you spat, your gut twisting as a sly grin spread on Henry’s face and he made a step right into your route.
“Or what? You’ll scratch, kitty? Or you’ll scream? Like a little girl?” he mocked you in high-pitched voice, his face lowering to yours so you were only inches apart.
“Bet you’d like that,” you murmured, narrowing your eyes when his breath with an unmistakable hint of alcohol fanned over your face. “No, I’ll offer you a breath-mint, because honestly you should do something about your breath.”
Yep, that was the mistake no.5 and definitely an enormous one.
You heard one of the guys chuckle, but you never got to enjoy the thrill of victory.
Out of blue, there was something around your neck, the weight of the towel shifting (add that to the mistake list) and your body flew backwards, colliding with a male one. George was it?
Your hands went to instinctively grab after the towel crushing your throat, but suddenly they were wrested down and pinned to your sides by strong arms. Jim had caught one, Henry another. Fucking cowards.
With your breath coming out short with both lack of oxygen and rising fear, your pulse thundering in your ears, you tried to jerk from their grip, but they wouldn’t budge, having an undeniable advantage.
Oh fuck, fuck, you were so fucked.
���Sassy little mouth, aren’t we?” Henry hummed, wry expression on his ugly face. “So dirty, feels like we should wash it with something. Who wants to go first, fellas?”
Loud alarm bells rang in your head, icy shiver running down your spine, stomach turning over.
Oh no, you don’t.
Your knee snapped up on instinct to gain the momentum, followed by a swift low kick to Jim’s knee.
He yelped and let go of your arm, allowing you to send an elbow straight to George’s face; and finally, your airways were free as the assault as the towel trap loosened.
You coughed, fighting for oxygen and mindlessly threw the item away to have at least one arm free.
“Bitch!” one of the men yelled; you weren’t sure which one, but you didn’t waste time thinking too much. Survival instinct took over.
Tears prickled in the corners of your eyes and you barely silenced the scream when Henry took advantage of your hesitation, twisting your arm behind your back. Fuck he really had a thing for that, didn’t he?
You tried to kick him, but someone else’s leg somehow managed to swept their leg under yours and you fell on your knees. Sharp tug on your hair caused you to cry out and obediently tilt your head back. Few tears escaped you, but you pushed up in attempt to get up again.
A kick coming from behind threw your body forwards and you nearly fell on your face when Henry finally let go of you. You tasted blood as you bit your cheek, but you managed to at least land on your shoulder instead of face-planting.
It still hurt like a bitch, but at least you still had all your teeth… or you thought so, not having time to check. Catching a movement from the corner of your eye, you managed to roll over before a kick to your side could hit you with full force. Frank’s foot only brushed you, but you were sure you’d have a bruise as a souvenir anyway.
A punch landed next to your face when you dodged it in the last moment, someone grabbing your legs and holding them together. Between your efforts to free them, you didn’t have time to chase away the body suddenly holding your arms as well.
“Fuck--- she’s a handful.”
A ragged battle cry erupted from your throat as you tried to jerk your body from their grip on pure instinct, every self-defence move you had ever learned flying of the window.
“More fun to break her, don’t you think?” Henry purred, his hand sneaking around your waist under the hem of your t-shirt.
Your head spun like crazy at the skin-to-skin contact and nausea hitting you hard. You wanted to puke and scream and punch and you couldn’t make yourself to do either, tears rolling down your cheeks as your body convulsed in a desperate attempt to break free.
There was ringing in your ears, disorienting you, but aware of the hand suddenly covering your mouth you tried to bite it on instinct holding you down.
“Oh-ho, biting!“ you heard, strangely muffled as if you were under water.
“I like them feisty-“
“Playing hard to get!”
“Shit, SHIT-“
The pressure on your legs eased all of sudden and you immediately kicked with all you had, catching the rising figure in the calf, knocking them off balance.
“Fuck!”
You would swear the floor vibrated, but in must have only been your mind playing tricks on you. George disappeared from your field of blurry vision; you only saw a fist sending him flying sideways.
Yep, your mind was fucking making up things, because there was no way he could have been thrown away like this by a single punch. You weren’t complaining; the relief the illusion provided was almost blissful.
Henry’s body weight vanished as well in nearly supersonic speed as if he wanted to escape the illusion. So you did the first thing that came to your mind; with your hands free, you grabbed his ankle, stopping him from running away. Which, thinking about it, was stupid, because only a moment before, you would have given anything to get him the fuck away from you.
He kicked back blindly, but his sole never met with your body – he was dragged away and… and lifted to the air as if he weighted nothing.
Blinking your tears away, your fuzzy mind cleared.
Only to reveal a very muscled and very much pissed off blond slamming Henry against a wall and then letting his suddenly unconscious body slide down.
You gasped, your eyes catching a glimpse of the fourth figure – Frank – several feet away, running for his life.
“Buck?!” came a shout and before you could question it, a metal arm emerged from behind the corner, stopping Frank dead as he rushed straight into it.
“Yep?!” the dark-haired supersoldier yelled back, sounding almost amused.
What the hell was happening? What the hell just happened?!
You blood sizzled in your veins, loud and rapid thump-thump-thump banging in your ears, face damp with several shed tears, body aching and your mind fucking racing.
You heard a whimper on your left, automatically turning to the sound. It left Jim’s lips, his form crumbled on the floor, struggling to stand up.
The captain’s knee seemed to come out of nowhere, digging into Jim’s back and pinning him down again before you even registered a movement.
“Is it fucking over now?”
“Steve, let him be. Not worth it,” Barnes’ voice tried to reason, sounding rather growly, but not nearly as loud as before. He approached your group in rapid pace and Rogers scoffed and let go.
You gulped at sergeant’s angry grimace, crazily convinced he was angry with you for all the mistakes you made that lead to this; but his expression softened when his gaze fell on you.
“Hey there,” he greeted you almost casually, holding out a hand to help you up. “Can you stand?”
You blinked several times at the suddenly dispassionate tone, even if you still sensed something bubbling under it. You shook off the thought and accepted the offered hand – the flesh one. The detail didn’t escape you, your bran in overdrive. Of course he hadn’t offered you the metal arm. He didn’t want to scare you. He was thoughtful like that-
-or not. The strength he dragged you up with was way too much for you, more so when combined with the speed and your state. You stumbled over your feet, a wave of dizziness messing with your balance.
You awaited the upcoming reunion with the floor, unable to stop the fall, but it never happened. Before you could as much as reel, gentle hands supported you in a firm grip, pleasantly warm against your bare arms.
“Whoa, take it easy,” Rogers’ voice warned you, soothing. For some reason, it felt more like ‘I got you,’ instead of ‘take it easy.’
You took a deep breath, Barnes’ hand letting go of yours as he semi-voluntarily handed you over to his friend.
“You’re bleeding from your mouth.”
Thanks for the reminder, I noticed.
You swallowed the snarky remark, well-aware of the sergeant’s care. You fought against the urge to spit the blood out.
“Is fine…” you muttered, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand. “Bit my cheek. I’m pretty sure I—“ you quickly ran your tongue over your teeth just to confirm your theory, “-still have all of my teeth.”
Sergeant Barnes gave you a tiny smile, the worried crinkle that had found its way between his brows disappearing.
“Whatever you say.”
His gaze flickered to something behind your head, probably in order of exchanging a wordless conversation with your still present crutch. Not that you were complaining. The weight of what had happened was slowly settling on your shoulders and you were grateful for any support – and who were you kidding, Captain America made for a pretty reliable support.
“Why don’t we leave you in pu- Cap’s capable hands while I-“ Barnes’ jaw clenched, pale eyes scanning the four bodies on the floor, calculating. “-take out the trash?”
You nearly choked at the choice of his words, wincing. Captain Rogers’ hands squeezed your shoulders reassuringly and you nodded, not sure what else to do.
You didn’t want to look at Henry. Or Jim. Or their loyal companions.
So when the captain carefully spun you on your heels, you didn’t protest and your feet started moving on autopilot in the direction he had set.
“You okay to walk without support?” he asked softly, a stark contrast to the voice you remembered from earlier or from the training sessions.
You knew that if you said yes, he would let go of you. Honestly, his touch felt damn nice, firm and yet somewhat gentle, a pleasant contrast to harsh fingers of the men who had the nerve to attack you – you had to swallow bile rising to your mouth at the awfully fresh memory. Fuck, it had been so close, just a minute later and--- you shook your head mentally and tried your best to erase this memory from existence.
You decided not to abuse the kindness the captain was offering. After several indulging steps, you quietly confirmed he could release you. You found out that sensing his large frame by your side as if he was your bodyguard was nearly as comforting. Nearly.
You didn’t have the strength admonish yourself for basking the light of his protective persona. Future agent of not, you still had the right to want to feel secure at times.
After all, you were only human.
A Handful of Truths
You didn’t realize you were shaking until a blanket was tossed over your shoulders.
You were sitting on a short couch in what looked like a cosy office, hair still damp, body finally registering the ache caused by previous events, just like your brain was slowly taking in what had happened.
Captain Rogers, whose courtesy was to escort you from the hellhole you had been attacked in, had clearly took it as a personal mission to take care of your injuries; it hadn’t dawned to you until you were seated and your mind helpfully supplied you with ‘This isn’t the infirmary’.
He pulled a swivel chair to sit face to face with you, a box of medical supplies left open on the coffee table at your side. You didn’t realize he had moved the chair or dug the box from god-knew-where until the items were simply there.
“How do you feel?” he inquired, attentive eyes scanning your hunched form. You instinctively curled onto yourself, snuggling further into the blanket. You knew you should come up with an answer, but your brain started to hurt with the effort to do so. “I guess that’s fair. Can you tell me what hurts the most?”
You quickly glanced at his openly kind face, his baby blues still watching for any reaction that would clue him. Your throat went dry at the compassion of display and you had to swallow before speaking – and think. What hurt the most…?
You didn’t know what possessed you to tell him what you did, but it came out before you could stop yourself.
“My pride,” you croaked, causing his eyebrows jump just like the corner of his lips.
“That’s probably fair too. Then again, I’d rather know about something I can fix.”
You felt your body relax a little at his informal tone – you might even say a jovial one, but you could still sense too much worry behind it to call it that. You attempted a tiny smile at least to show him that you were more or less fine – you weren’t – and brilliantly failed.
“Landed on my shoulder. Probably gonna have a bruise on my side from when… when they kicked me. Ribs and arms might be a bit tender for few days, ‘cause they were heavy as they--- they’re heavy,” you voice wavered as you saw the muscles on the captain’s forearms clench and his hands curled up in fists. You sheepishly looked up to his face. “I got lucky.”
His eyebrows rose again in a ‘figures’ manner as he leaned back to the chair.
“Nothing else apart from that, your cheek and your pride?”
“I’m a little cold, but you took care of that,” you admitted, taking a deep breath in as you tugged on the blanket pointedly.
Despite what you were saying, you didn’t feel okay, the tremble never quite leaving your body. It wasn’t hard to figure out why. You stared at your knight in shining armour, gathering courage to do what was needed. You tried your best to meet his gaze, feeling so small and embarrassingly weak in front of him.
“Could have been much worse if you haven’t showed up. Thank you.”
He pressed his lips together, shaking his head. He leaned in, his elbows on his knees.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t faster... I should have kept closer eye on Ulrich,” he muttered under his breath, making you wonder if you only imagined it. “Your pride shouldn’t be hurt. You held yourself against them just fine.”
Your heart skipped a beat at the honestly his voice held – and you were honestly grateful for the slight shift of attention. Oh. Had he forgotten how things had been when he had arrived?
You weren’t sure whether you should remind him. You definitely didn’t want to remind yourself, but before you could solve your little dilemma, he clarified.
“You haven’t started training the combat against multiple opponents yet. Let alone four opponents, all of them having both height and weight advantage. You couldn’t exactly go all Black Widow on them if no one showed you how.”
He accented his words with a reassuring smile and you almost believed him. The shivers finally eased, most likely thanks to the warm treatment you were being given in all senses of the word. The inner cold gradually melted and you were left in nothing but pleasant warmth.
Mentally, you patted your pride gently on its head; you couldn’t quite disagree with him. No matter how helpless you had felt earlier and how ashamed for it you were, the truth was you were still learning. You weren’t a finished agent yet.
You breathed in and out, avoiding the gaze that was still on you. It felt like a freaking brand with how intense it was. You couldn’t say you hated it necessarily, you only wished you at least didn’t look so pathetic. No make-up, probably red with a smudge on blood somewhere, perhaps with some bruising already forming, hair wet and messy. You absently ran your fingers through it in attempt to fix it a bit as if it could help.
What had you been talking about? Right… those assholes being cowards and coming at your four against one.
“I… I just fucking hate bullies,” you grumbled darkly, your hand immediately covering your mouth when you realized what you had said. Oh. Language. Still your superior you’re talking to, no matter how nice. “Sorry. Please, pretend you didn’t hear the f-word. I just hate bullies, period.”
“I might have sworn earlier too, so let’s call it even,” the captain offered, one corner of his lips raised. Oh. He had, hadn’t he? ‘Is it fucking over now?’ What did that even mean? “And so I heard.”
“What?” you yelped, your mind racing again in search for the meaning behind his words.
“I mean… I heard you. When you were defending Bucky, in the gym. I’m pretty sure your exact words were about a ‘pissing contest’.”
“Oh god,” you breathed out, your face no doubt set aflame. He had heard you; that was why he had said he should have kept a closer eye on Henry. Oh. Ohhhh.
Also, did he just say ‘pissing’?
“You weren’t wrong by the way. But… neither were them.”
You blinked in surprise. What? “About?”
You knew he didn’t mean the sleeping around with recruits, your gut was screaming that at you, because they wouldn’t, but still, you rather asked for clarification. If he didn’t mean that part, which one then?
“Ladies do fall over for Bucky,” he hummed with a lopsided smile, a playful twinkle in his eyes. It did something to your belly, a strange familiar shift that was very inappropriate, but hell, people needed to cut you some slack. He was impossible not to ogle and you didn’t have the energy to control your reaction after today’s events. “And I don’t really pull my punches when I’m training those two in particular.”
“Why?” you blurted out before you could stop yourself and think better of it.
His gaze bored into yours, burning with intensity and with a glint of something you couldn’t quite put your finger on.
“I don’t like bullies either.”
Did he lean in even more or were you so focused on his face it only seemed closer?
You weren’t able to look away. His blue eyes simply locked you in, not allowing you to escape. The strangest thing was that it wasn’t scary. It should be, he was— he was a freaking captain, your superior, a superior to a lot of people, which you were constantly forgetting ever since he had saved you from falling on your ass in the hallway and you had to remember that.
Before you could though, your racing mind packed up and let your body, your mouth to be precise, act without supervision.
“Not trying to impress the ladies then, huh?”
His tiny sheepish smile cut off the uprising panic in your chest when you realized how bold of you was to say that. He lowered his gaze, giving a subtle shrug. “Guess I wouldn’t want one falling for guy’s muscles and a show-off of dominance.”
“What for then? Honesty? Sincerity? Kind eyes? Strong moral compass?” you heard yourself prying, internally horrified how far you had come when saying that. Your face was drained of colour when it clicked. You were literally naming things you liked about him, absolutely shamelessly putting them in the open. Oh shit. Fix it, fix it, fix it! “…the sass?”
His eyes went wide and he burst out laughing so loud it startled you for a second, especially as he threw his head back with the outburst. Then you reluctantly joined him, covering your face with your hands in embarrassment.
“The sass!” he howled, unable to hold back another fit of laughter and when you peeked at him through between your fingers, you saw his palm resting against his chest as if it could help him stop laughing.
Just like that, blood rushed back into your cheeks.
“Oh god, I made it worse!” you cried out, wishing for the earth to swallow you, frantically looking around for the fastest escape route. “Oh my god, I have to switch schools now… excuse me-“
You hastily got up from your seat, but a quick hand snatched yours, pulling you back.
You stumbled, landing ungracefully right back in your place, this time without the blanket. Captain Rogers was watching you with the corners of his lips high, his eyes sparkling with amusement.
“Sorry for grabbing you like that. But no, please. Stay.”
Your throat closed off when you heard his soft plea, only traces of humour in it. Yeah, you bet he hadn’t met anyone with such big mouth for a while, so he thought it was better to keep the comic around.
“Captain Rogers, I-I- what I said, it was completely out of line-“ you stuttered, only to be interrupted.
“Were you making it up?” he questioned.
You gulped, your mind screaming at you to say yes to save you the humiliation. And yet, with the cerulean irises staring into your eyes, your mouth did the exact opposite.
“No.”
Dammit.
“Then why would you go?” he questioned softly. His hand still didn’t leave yours, only easing the grip into a kinder one. You felt like a brand was being burned into your skin. A pleasant one, so you didn’t retreat. Oh, you’d never. But what on Earth was he getting at? “We need someone honest like you. People who stand up for others, even if only to defend their honour. That is the kind of people who should be in this line of work. The good ones.”
You opened your mouth, no sound coming out as his speech shook you to your core, tickling your stomach pleasantly along with your pride. His words seemed to be coming from heart, genuine, which was not helping your blood pressure and suddenly wobbling limbs.
“Even when they have potty mouth and put their foot in it? ‘Cause I seem to excel in that.”
“Especially then,” he chuckled and you could tell there was no pinch of a lie in it.
Something was in the air, crackling deliciously, and you liked it. You wouldn’t be able to describe it properly, the feeling simply too unique, but it was tickling your fancy so weren’t about to complain.
“O-okay. Thank you, Captain,” you whispered, revelling in the sight of the gentle curve of his lips.
“You started with the compliments, Agent.”
And just like that, you wanted to run for your life again, drowning in embarrassment.
What were you even still doing here? Complimenting him? Enjoying his touch? Flirting with him?
Were you nuts?!
Him, a captain— no, the captain. And you, an agent--- hell, you were not even an agent yet!
The captain whose eyes flickered to not-an-agent’s lips for the shortest of moments, widening a fraction before returning to her eyes.
Oh, now you were definitely going nuts. You were hallucinating. You must have hit your head too. He wasn’t into you and you being into him was very stupid.
You should go.
…any moment now.
…just get off your ass for god’s sake-
“Can I ask you something?”
You blinked yourself back to reality, shushing the voice in your head, curious smile appearing on your lips involuntarily. The softness of his voice felt better than the blanket before and you wanted to cocoon yourself in it, postponing the leaving plans to never.
“Sure,” you replied, the smile remaining on your face despite your better judgement.
He lowered his eyes to your joined hands, his thumb running over the back of your hand in a feather-light touch. You heart positively stopped at the moment, your breath hitching. Holy shit, what was he doing?
“This, does it… do you hate it?” he whispered the question, not meeting your eyes as if he was too shy, which was… ridiculous. He had no reason to be shy.
It still felt like a shot through your heart – a nice one, though, it that was possible. The words combined with the way they were spoken, it stirred something in your belly, warming it up and you couldn’t deny it anymore.
You really wanted this man; whatever this was, it was getting beyond a silly crush. Also, for some reason, it seemed as if he was trying to tell you he was interested too, which you thought was pretty freaking crazy.
“Stay honest, please,” he pleaded when you didn’t answer right away.
Did you hate it? The chastest display of affection if you dared to call it that? Your mind raced, trying to figure out why on earth he would ask that. Because the only reason you had come up with so far was completely impossible.
“No,” you said simply, earning a brief glance up before he looked down again. His Adam’s apple bobbed.
“Good. That’s good… and would you… I’m aware this is out of line and I—I want you to answer truthfully without fearing the consequences-…“
It was your turn to swallow loudly, because what? What did he want to ask that he considered it out of line? He was your superior – you could think of thousand ways of how you could get out of line, but him? And why should you fear the consequences?! Did he want you to help him to hide a body?
That’s not it and you know it. You know what he wants to ask, you rational side admonished you.
Oh please, shut up. Since when you switched sides?
“O-okay. What— what is it-- Steve?” you stuttered out, freezing when his name left your lips and his head snapped up, his hand giving yours a squeeze. Oh boy.
“Would you possibly say you like it?” he blurted out and your brain went to overdrive at the hope behind his expression.
Huh. He really just asked that. Oh shit. Oh wow. Your jaw fell into your lap – only figuratively, you hoped –, your ears buzzing, your blood bursting in excitement.
Oh yeah, you understood why he mentioned the consequences. Either you could say no and you’d fear he might treat you differently or you could say yes and you’d ‘fear’ he might treat you differently.
The fire in your insides burned hotter at the idea of the latter.
His hand slowly left yours, giving you a simple choice you still couldn’t believe you were given.
Holy shit. What do you even say to something like that? Coming from someone like him? Your brain froze as you only managed to stare.
Did his— did the corners of his lips turn down? Was that sadness pooling in the sea of blue of his eyes?
Oh no, you don’t.
“Y-yes,” you admitted sheepishly, closing your eyes at the heaviness of your confession.
You could feel the weight on your shoulders as silence fell, only interrupted by your soft breathing that sounded ominously loud.
Your fingers twitched when his warm palm covered them again, your lips parting in surprise. You kept your eyes closed, indulging the strange moment. His free hand caressed your other as well, the gentlest of touches, tender, contrasting with rough callouses on his fingers.
“I like it too.”
At that, you gathered enough courage to look at him, only to see him inspecting your face closely, observing your reactions. It shocked you that it wasn’t uncomfortable as you would expect; must have been the kindness and wonder in his gaze. You forced your lips to curl up in a tiniest smile. Steve smiled back with same hesitance, his face lighting up.
He looked like a boy next door (making it to a modelling agency), shining eyes and happy grin forming on his lips. He was more gorgeous than ever.
Still keeping your hands, he raised his right one, his knuckles brushing your unharmed cheek. The gesture was so tender it brought tears into your eyes, causing him quickly retreat.
“Sorry-“
You shook your head with a self-deprecating chuckle, squeezing his fingers before he could let go of you completely.
“It’s not you—I mean… it is you,” you babbled nonsensically, taking a breath to gather your thoughts. “It’s just— that was really sweet. No, that’s not-“ Not the right word. “It was beautiful. I swear I never felt so…” loved “-cared for in my life.”
He frowned, a shadow of pain running over his face. “I didn’t mean to upset you. I know that today was… unpleasant.”
Seeing his reluctance and discomfort, you went for the first thing that came up to your mind. You straightened up and pressed a light kiss on his cheek, withdrawing much slowly because once you were in his orbit, it was hard to leave.
His breath hitched, his eyes glued to you intently, flickering to your lips again.
“You didn’t upset me, Steve. That’s the last thing you could do with that,” you assured him, face still inches from his. His name rolled off your tongue easily this time, even though it still left your heart fluttering.
“And if I asked you to have dinner with me?”
Your stomach twisted in a pleasant knot at that suggestion, your lizard brain already thinking about having a dessert for a second; and you weren’t thinking cake or ice-cream.
Yeah, barely. This was a guy ready to treat you right, you were sure of it. He certainly wasn’t about to kiss you now, not afar what happened today, he might go for it after the dinner and that was only if you got lucky enough. You swallowed the disappointment at the idea, quickly shaking it off.
Make up your goddamn mind, woman. You should be glad that men who weren’t thinking with their lower brain still existed and one of those was clearly interested in you, which… yeah, what the hell, that might take a while getting used to. Add the fact that he was being incredibly considerate of how you might feel after being assaulted and you had a winner of your heart. You realized you were actually happy he wouldn’t try anything even nearly ‘funny’.
You were fine with hand-holding and brushes of his fingers on your face, which honestly, the tenderness behind that gesture made you toes curl. You didn’t care much if that made you a freaking sap.
“Still not upset,” you gave an answer at last, deciding he probably liked when you were a bit cheeky.
He offered a closed lipped smile in response, confirming your theory.
“Does that count like a yes?”
You shrugged, the corners of your lips twitching. You had no idea when the change had happened, but all you wanted now was to giggle. And maybe snuggle, but you weren’t about to say that out loud.
“You tell me.”
He licked his lips and shook his head as he retreated. Before you could protest – or have a heart attack, because the motion of his tongue attracted your gaze like a magnet, setting your core on fire –, he sat beside you, leaving enough space in case you didn’t like it.
You liked it, subtly moving an inch closer to his side. Damn, he radiated warmth. Maybe just a bit closer…?
“Cheeky dame, aren’t you?” Steve more stated than asked, reaching for the blanket pooled around you to cover you again.
You didn’t realize you had goosebumps before his hands gently tugged you in, careful not to touch you where you could consider it inappropriate.
Yeah, forget about any funny business any time soon.
You huffed. “Clearly. It did get me into trouble before.”
His eyes darkened a bit, his face noticeably falling.
No, nope, bad move, miss not-an-agent.
“I should walk you back to your dorm,” he remarked, already rising to his feet.
You first reaction was to say no, because you weren’t ready to say goodbye yet. Your second was to say no also, because Shauna probably still had her hot date.
Instead, your hand shot up to catch his, effectively stopping him. He froze before returning to his seat, tiny question mark in a place of his face right next to his soft smile.
You cleared your throat, deciding to give him the latter reason.
“Uhm… my roommate has a date. If I go there, I’ll probably find a sock on the doorknob,” you admitted, biting your lip when he raised an eyebrow and relaxed to the cushions.
“People still do that?”
You chuckled, the fact that not only he was a captain, but also Captain America, which meant he was about hundred years old, hitting you like a train.
“Yeah, people still do that,” you assured him, amused.
He pouted, which you found unfairly adorable and… kissable. Nope, later.
“Sure, make fun of the old man…” he uttered, but a spark of laughter lighted up in his irises, so you assessed he wasn’t too offended. He was most likely used to the teasing.
As an idea of interpreting his words differently popped in your mind, you grinned.
“Is that a permission to make fun of Sergeant Barnes?” you pried playfully, sending Steve into another surprised fit of laughter, not unlike when you had complimented his sass. Your heart swelled at the joyful picture of him and the prospect of seeing more of it in future.
Due to his laughter, you didn’t hear he knock on the door if there was any n the first place. The door simply swung open, revealing the other supersoldier. Speak of the Devil…
Seeing his friend, Steve burst out laughing once more. Sergeant Barnes closed the door with a puzzled look.
You just shrugged in response, opening your mouth without a sound coming out and he took in the scene in front of him again, a smirk appearing on his lips. Under that gaze, you felt your face heat up. You could only imagine how that looked like, Steve cosily close to you, laughing, your hand right next to his thigh as his outburst had sent it sliding from his hand.
The smirk on the supersoldier’s face only deepened when he noticed how flustered he had made you.
“Punk?” he questioned and Steve wheezed once more, raising a palm in the sergeant’s direction, turning to you first.
He offered you a hand to shake. Confused, you accepted as his eyes twinkling in mischief bored into yours.
“Deal,” he mouthed, sending your lips twitching, and only then he shifted his attention to his friend. “Buck?”
The supersoldier had his eyes narrowed, watching you suspiciously.
“I’m gonna regret sending you with her instead of doing it the other way around, aren’t I?” he stated, not actually asking as his gaze flickered between the two of you.
His expression pushed you over the edge and the giggle building up in your chest for the last few minutes finally broke free. You simply couldn’t contain it anymore despite having two superiors in the room. Steve gave you a warm smile as the sound left your lips, clearly not bothered by it.
You hoped you’d be forgiven by Sergeant Barnes as well. After all, you were just human.
“Yeah, Buck, I think you are.”
S.R. masterlist
Sorry for the cavities at the end. Or should I say ‘you’re welcome’? Whatever works for you :))
Thank you for reading!
#fanfiction#steve rogers x reader#steve rogers x you#steve rogers imagine#mcu#marvel#shield#shield recruit reader#steve rogers fanfiction#steve rogers fanfic#captain america fanfiction#steve rogers#captain america x you#captain america x reader#captain america imagine#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky barnes#captain america#just a human#anika ann
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Extracts from the Clinton Tapes- the third wheel.
I’m reading the book Clinton Tapes by Taylor Branch. It’s the book written from the tapes Bill recorder with Branch during his White House years. There are some interesting things, from cute family moments to Bill’s personal thoughts on what was going on.
Branch met Bill and Hillary when they went campaigning in Texas in 1972 and he was someone they were sharing the apartment with. Both in Texas and also the times he was in the White House, the poor guy ended up feeling like a third wheel when they were together. Here are some extracts about this:
I had no strong theories about what drove Clinton. The stories of his philandering were troublesome, and so was the arrogance of judgment from afar. A few times, with other longtime friends like Strobe Talbott, I hazarded guesses about his sex life. My only firsthand evidence was that Clinton and Hillary had been ardently amorous long ago in Texas, to the point that I remembered for-lorn third-wheel moments. All I heard since were the common rumors of JFK-like affairs down in Arkansas. Without proof, I thought there was probably some truth to them. Affairs would not be unusual for a successful politician with big appetites. Strobe pretty much agreed, though he remained steadfastly baffled. Clinton was not among the youthful Lotharios even Strobe had recognized during their time together at Oxford. If subsequent rumors were true, the Clintons must carry many scars between them, but we found the marriage anything but loveless. Their private partnership still seemed warm and eager, never cold, with a spark from somewhere if not libido.
January 1998
Hillary came in as we began, still in her topcoat and scarf, flushed from a stressful event. We stood, and I fidgeted through their mysteriously long embrace. When he asked about her evening, she said she had been teary through the whole wonderful program. Sidwell Friends had staged its mother-daughter banquet, she explained for my benefit, with skits and speeches built around moms and their senior girls facing the big world beyond high school. She already felt the impact of separation even though Chelsea was only a freshman, with three years left. Hillary smiled in disbelief, asking how she could be a mess so far ahead. Three years left, she repeated. Clinton chimed in with his own wry complaint that the school held three separate banquets—mother-daughter, father-son and mother-son: one for each permutation except father-daughter. He said gender bias blocked his only chance, and vowed to organize something before Chelsea graduated.
February 1994
In January, halfway through the five-week spectacle, I arrived somber and unprepared for a breezy surprise. First the elderly new Doorman, Harold Hancock, balked at instructions to take me upstairs. Pressed to explain, he stalled until something popped out about the Clintons kissing. Nancy Mitchell, the White House usher tonight, studied flickering mirth at the corners of a dutiful mouth. “Well,” she said, “you’re going to have to take Mr. Branch up. The president sent for him.” Hancock shook his head. He had just been there. “I want you to call first,” he said. They went back and forth about what he had seen, which sounded like smooching in a doorway, and Mitchell formulated a plan for him to announce himself from the stairwell and then close the three Southern hallway doors—bedroom, living parlor, bathroom—for privacy. She dispatched me as backup, which relieved him, but Hancock remained both tentative and tickled on our climb. It was mixed relief to confront the first couple nowhere on the second floor, and Hancock vanished when we finally located them with guests up in the Solarium. Any overt romance was suspended, but the Clintons communed intensely about the latest politics of impeachment. Not only did they complete each other’s shorthand sentences, but they exchanged the telephone in seamless conversations with several senators.
January 1999
Hillary called him from New York. They talked about the end of Chelsea’s sophomore year at Stanford. She was fighting for a better grade in one course, over some footnoting dispute. The president practiced for Hillary several variations on his notion to compare gun control with car registration, but mostly they discussed the frustrations of her trial campaign. His counsel grew so exercised that I stood to leave, but Clinton retreated for privacy into the bathroom off the family parlor. He was subdued on his return.
June 1999
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